#coworker is just me in the future
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rnfem
#coworker is just me in the future#he is like me but angry at the world#i asked him who on star trek tng he would be#and he said Q#specifically bc of the episode where Q tries to show them what his life is like and it is a desert with a road going two ways forever#what an icon#i tried to get him to start a band with me#he said no not bc we wouldn't be good at making music together#but bc he is as isolated as me and is not into being beholdened to another person#which is why i said i could be in a band#bc then making music would mean not letting my friends down#i am so glad he's moved to my side of the kitchen#we get to work together and goof around more
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Male patients who will literally call their wives to verify things like their med list grate on my nerves SO much……. Are we 12
#“Idk what that’s for….. let me ask my wife” and then they whip out their phones and call her mid appointment#And I think they especially do it w me bc they can see I’m a 22 yr old girl and they don’t gaf ab my opinion#But if it was someone else who’s older#and literally all of my coworkers are either in their 30s or up#Then they’d probably feel too judged to do it#It’s giving my wife is my mommy and my life would be in shambles without her#I’ve been trying not to hate men lately but this is embarrassing#I usually love every patient I interact with but the occasional men who don’t know why they’re taking what they’re taking#Or wtf they’re even taking#And then turn to their wives or interrupt me to call them#Are just?????? So peculiar#I also think they think I find it cute but it is so uncomfortable for me to see this#Like why would I find it cute that ur wife is ur mom. I don’t want this to be my future and it literally never will be#Like I’m being dramatic but at the same time it’s a bit of an ick 😍
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1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#dont think they will learn anything#i know its pessimistic but like#as if the critics were in any way as loud or popular as those worshipping it#i feel so bad for having contributed twice to its sales and earnings#i bought it normally (later sold that to a coworker) and the collectors#which i sold but i only got back the money a normal new one would have cost#and it was also only bc i was buying sth else and it was literally in prime condition#like he said it wouldnt matter bc he cant give me more but then even he said holy shit thats literlly like unopened lol#i mean ... most of it was never opnened xD just took the game out once and put it back once thats it#i feel extra scammed bc it was the first and only collectors edition i ever owned#and i dont think i will ever buy one again#and might regret that#i still wish i had known how much i liked botw to get its special one ... but i didnt have the money back then either way#but id rather miss out on that than spend so much money on sth i will forever regret having spend money on#and i worry for the future bc the “story is the least important part” guy and “lol you can only like the old games bc nostalgia” guy-#-being in charge of the franchise arent giving me much hope for anything better#especially after totks success
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idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think
#u know sometimes you'll experience something bad in the moment and look back later like lol that was fine actually!#not july :) she was actually really bad :)#tmi but if u wanna know why i was gone lol#my partner of 6 years cheated on me in early may. on her birthday. at her party that i planned. with her coworker. and i saw it#on top of just being like. completely devastated? i was just so embarrassed? i hardly told anyone because it made me feel like#just SO worthless. and then i was embarrassed about feeling worthless and it was a whole thing#anyway they started dating in july and it was really tough for me#it was like every day i'd wake up and have to like grieve? and come to terms with reality? and accept that a lot of my future plans#were no longer going to happen - at least with her :/ it's a really tough thing to grapple with#esp since it felt like she wasn't nearly as sad as i was - which unfortunately makes sense but still sucks#ANYWAY im doing a lot better now lol i started telling people in my life and letting them be there for me and it's helped so much#it's still hard sometimes but i know now that i'm gonna be fine eventually#this is so dumb to post on my sims blog but it feels good to get it off my chest so SUE ME I GUESS
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thinking about Jean having clinical depression and jean being a speed addict and jean being weirdly ripped and jean being openly disgusted with Harry's decline into uselessness and making silly little connections in my mind
#guy for whom fantasy ssris didn't work wearing out his bones for free endorphins#taking substances that cause short-term improvement because the future doesn't exist#doing narcissism of small differences to his drug addict ex-gym teacher coworker who isn't Holding It Together anymore#my man that is going to be you in about six years#he has a 10 year head start on the downward spiral#you are just mad because the future is real and its a pathetic middle aged man in piss stained trousers#disco elysium#(beats the reflection of the self in others with a hammer) wtf why do I feel worse? (hammers harder)#Edit: I don’t like him and none of these facts endear him to me.
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i have a confession to make: i'm actually doing better than i ever was
#i started making friendship bracelets for my show & for my gang today#i'm actually pretty excited#also it feels different when you make them for specific people because then you actually make them with love#so i was thinking of you today (you know who you are) 🤍#i also realized that i actually like my job which is crazy to me#i've been struggling with this so much during past few months and i am finally somewhere i don't hate#i like my coworkers and i don't want to cry when i have to go there#i don't even mind working with customers anymore because most of them are nice here#and this job may actually give me the opportunity to make more money in the future so i might just stay here for a while#this is not a perfect life but it is MY life and honestly i wouldn't change a thing about it right now#i am doing good and i am healing#i am taking care of myself#one step at a time#no rush#i'm trying to focus on things that make me happy and myself#i talk to my friends a lot i talk to my parents#i am fine and this time it's not a lie#i feel like maybe one day i will be finally able to say that i'm happy#i'm not there yet but it's good#yay for me i guess#🤍🤍🤍#but sincerely can you hear me?*
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the way that so many people are willing to literally destroy the earth just “talk” to their favorite fictional character. or to not have to write their own damn paper. or their own email
#like HELLOOOO???#please just talk to someone irl#please god just make one friend#or stop being SOOO desperately single#sorry but it like actually pisses me off bc yall aren’t even using it for a good reason!!!#it’s shit like you being too fucking lazy to write an email to your fucking coworker!!#it’s absurd!!!!!#learn how to write a proper fucking email!!! like CHRIST#we’re so fucked yall#our future doctors nurses etc are using chat gpt to write their thesis#silas speaks#chat gpt#anti ai#anti chatgpt#chatgpt#ai#artificial intelligence#anti artificial intelligence
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do we think luce did ballet
#star says#khr#luce khr#katekyo hitman reborn#Im on the fence abt headcanoning this#bc I can't tell if its the kind of thing she would do or not#its very much a toss up to me (mostly bc we don't know much about her personally)#but an art that requires insane strength balance and precision that has the ultimate effect of appearing effortless and graceful#despite how painful it can actually be?#excellent metaphor for her I think#and she needs some hobbies#I had this pretty disturbing idea once where after the curse the arcobaleno find that she has a room for everyone decorated#just the way they like it#with everything sized for toddlers bc she could see them before they met#so she can have some normal hobbies (ballet) and some slightly deranged ones (decorating her future coworkers to whom#she will be bound for life's rooms for when they are inevitably turned into toddlers)#(everyone leaves and doesn't appreciate her artistry obv)#though I do head cannon that viper left a while after everyone else managed to ditch as they were too unstable immediately after the curse#and Giglio Nero could and would provide the care they needed#which makes me think about the implications of Giglio Nero's relationship to the Arcobaleno and the Trinisette#but there's like 100 tags on this 6 word post so I will stop here
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#awi#personal#i dont want to go into work in the morning#i remember 2016 so vividly how my republican coworkers were acting like it was a football game their team won#ive been looking at new jobs new apartments new anything for a bit now and was starting to feel more hopeful#but now the uncertainty of the future has me hesitating something fierce#i was starting to seriously consider just quitting my job and finding some part time work for a couple months#live off savings and pray to any deity thats listening i dont get sick since i wouldnt have health insurance anymore lol 💀#just get some more time to exist on my own terms for a bit#im so tired#i bought my dad and i booze on my way home so we were both pretty loopy earlier and he was waxing poetic about me getting a new job#to have that feeling back#he's feeling similarly stuck i think#the older i get the more i am his kid fr#i am. so tired
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They should chuck me in a sapphic period drama cause of how hard I’m yearning for this girl
#I’m on the verge of becoming Mr. Darcy at this point#next time I see her I’ll be looking at her with puppy dog eyes and professing my love in the rain#like in ammonite with the letter I’d drop everything if she texted me asking to visit her#I’d jump on the nearest train if it meant I got to see her#in about a year I’ll come back to this and just ask why#‘why did I make this?’ idk future me rn we are down bad for our former coworker now friend who will probably not be our gf#anyways I’m gonna go get a snack and then go to bed I’ve got a long day tomorrow#emily yaps
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punishment for a monster is more humane than this.
#all the aus of the students as adults and gojo in the future are now canon divergent#my hands are cold#my coworker just asked me if im okay#jjk#jjk leaks#jjk 236#jujutsu kaisen#punishment for a monster
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I used to say i dont give a shit so often people would ask me a question and then answer it themselves
#like at work#people would constantly ask dumbshit like should i make 2 burgers or 3#like it doesnt matter? i cant predict the future? youve worked here 3 times as long as me? far quicker to say#anyways. i need to bring back this mentality more. i be giving shits i cant afford to spare.#mine#so yeah. i couldnt sleep.. not even for femslash. im sorry women.#this was at a job where multiple people were like myahs so sweet she never curses. i wish that were true uf im not directly in front of#a customer i have no filter#i worked separately but around people in my last job so i would just kind of .. forget (for my own sanitys sake) that there is almost always#someone within ten feet of me even if alone in a room. but that box isnt going to tell itsself to fuck off..#not too bad i had a coworker who would yell at the ovens EVERY time they went off which is often- constantly or near constantly
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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I started Traum in FGO
My gosh things went down fast. Going to try not to spoil. But in case, going to ramble in undercut
Mysterious Servant in the beginning, give me your name or face! Cause you could be a potentially important character later in Traum!
Person who is “weaker than a Caster currently,” are you Charlie? That is one Servant I do not know when he shows up and I will laugh if the EX luck of Guda actually made this happen right away
#Sunmay rambles#Sunmay plays FGO#Sunmay plays Fate Grand Order#Traum (FGO)#I am finally starting the Traum chapter#my gosh. I know that the ending has something big that will make me cry#this beginning is very binge worthy#especially how fast shit hit the fan the second the rayshift started#Kadoc Zemlupus is in Traum and I did not expect that#I knew he would be come an ally in the future. just not THIS soon#give me more sprites of Kadoc in his new uniform#Guda has a new coworker/ally that can properly trauma bond with#I can’t wait to drag Kadoc into the Events like GudaGuda or Halloween#oh gosh. is Kadoc in the new Halloween event?#That would be pure madness if he is#FGO#Fate Grand Order#forgot to tag fandom
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Be praying for me, y’all. It’s been a rough week. Basically the job I was hoping would let me be in Korea long term said I wasn’t ready for it yet and a lot of the stuff they brought up are either anxiety things (I’m working on it), ADHD things (again, working on it, but this one’s a bit more permanent), and some personal life choices and interpretations that flow from those things (which I’m not backing down on thank you).
I’ve locked onto a Halsey song and been having it stuck in my head and that is Not A Good Sign Mental Health Wise.
#it’s strangers if anyone was wondering#I don’t even like the song or agree with its message but it feels very true for me right now and that’s all I can listen to rn#“we’re not lovers we’re just strangers” and the weirdness of trying to connect with coworkers that kind of decide your future#and then realizing they stopped seeing you as one of them and never told you when#“the same damn hunger to be touched to be loved to feel anything at all” and the fake intimacy of it all#we’re not close even though you invited it#we’re just strangers on opposite sides of a room#this is me complaining and processing it’s way more complicated than that#but ugh#pray for a girl#it feels like loss and despair#I love this country but I am a foreigner and I am weird#I don’t know why I want to be here so much#it’s beautiful and amazing and I love it here but I can’t work here at all apparently#and in America I can work there but I can’t live there it’s exhausting#and too expensive#current status#prayer request
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I have so many fun facts about myself that aren’t really fun. They’re just like… mediocre. So I’d never bring them up when someone asks me for a fun fact, and they are too short to really be entertaining stories, so I just have a books worth of little events in my life that are only somewhat intriguing but they compose who I am. And I think everyone is like that to a degree. We’re all little stories that we don’t think are worth telling. Not because we don’t want to, but because we don’t think don’t think they’re worthy of being heard.
#no clue what to tag this#random thoughts with rowan#existentialism#random thoughts#so anyway have a few of these little tid bits about me#a stranger#as a child I cursed when I cut the tip of my finger off and my first priority was apologizing for cursing#I once pretended to be interested in the Navy and made an appointment with a recruitment officer just so I could take his mug ☕️#I’ve had to pull tarantula fangs out of one of my coworkers#I once told a teacher that they couldn’t call my mom on me because she was in prison#I learned how to juggle because I thought it was imprsssive and then stopped practicing once I leaned that people thought it was lame#I had a bird named Devil who I only owned for two days before returning to the pet store after he attacked my mom#I set a bag of popcorn on fire by accident and the first thing I did was grab it with my hands#during my freshman year of high school I collected chapstick because I thought my future girlfriend would want to have options…#cont. and I never once wore any of the 60+ chapsticks of mine while kissing someone#instead of selling lemonade I used to sell painted rocks on a street corner#during a group project I forgot how to pronounce Ohio#In elementary school I told the lunch ladies I was allergic to wheat because I hated whole wheat and now I actually am#I know most of the lyrics to the songs from The Greatest Showman but have never seen it#as a child I thought plums were a made up fruit#I planned on joining the military out of spite against people telling me I would not have enjoyed it#I flooded a classroom and got doused by a chem shower on my second day as a lab assistant#and uhhh there’s more but have this for now#fun facts
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