#could not get the wb right on this set man

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

daechwita

[diminuel]

🚨Angst Warning🚨

I want to play around with Crocodile’s missing ring again... What if originally there was a ring there. (This is all under the premise that my timeline is accurate)

I could see Crocodile getting a bit "clingy" to Dragon. Like, they start bonding during a really tumultuous time for Crocodile. His entire plan and dream is crushed by losing that fight with WB. He's having to find himself again, learn how to cope without a whole ass hand, and find the motivation to keep being a pirate right after he got his warlord status. It's a major hit to his ego, and to be recovering in a new environment with people he may not fully trust.

Dragon is a strong and motivated leader. Dragon has conviction and a strong head on his shoulders. He could be a really stabilizing force for Crocodile during this time. I could see Crocodile being anxious to ever lose that support and trust. Especially with how bad his record with trust is, and with how low his self-esteem probably is at the time.

And after some time, a relationship starts to bloom between them. One that's a bit impulsive, and not the healthiest. But they are stuck in a honeymoon phase, and unwilling to let go of that for the reality of their situation. I could see Dragon using his time with Crocodile as an escape from the stressors of being a leader to a Revolution. After a long day of seeing the consequences of an oppressive system, but to be able to come home, and no longer be the figurehead with so much on his shoulders. To come back home and just be a normal man and cuddle with his love. Maybe Dragon gets a bit too comfortable, and impulsive. So, he gets a cheep and inconspicuous ring, and makes a promise with Crocodile to always be there for each other. (Sidenote, I can picture a cute scene where Dragon pulls out the ring, and Crocodile inspects it with a playful pout. "You couldn't have gotten me a big diamond?")

Crocodile is excited about this new aspect of his life, but he's getting a bit stir-crazy at the revolutionary army's base. The sea is calling to him, and he is starting to feel the confidence to get back out there again. But Crocodile is conflicted with leaving right after that promise. He loves Dragon, he doesn't want to disappoint him, or lose the access to the steady flow of support. So he chooses to stay a bit longer, to make a solid exist plan without losing Dragon. Something they both could approve of.

Crocodile finds out he's pregnant, the honeymoon phase starts to fall, and reality hits hard. When Dragon finds out, he's terrified. This could put him, and or, the revolution at risk. This could put Crocodile at risk. But he doesn't have the balls to think of ending the pregnancy, he has a selfish sense of responsibly, and a secret hope this could bloom into a happy family. He tells Crocodile he will take care of it, relocates him to a safe house, and tells no one.

But Dragon is a busy man, the face of a revolution, and it waits for no man. Sacrificing his personal priories came with the job description. No matter how much he wants to be with Crocodile to help care for him, his work comes first. So with his minimal discreet visits, to drop off supplies and do wellness checks, Crocodile is left very alone. Dragon isn't cruel to leave Crocodile without a midwife/doctor, but it's still Crocodile baring the full weight of it all with, in his eyes, barely a glance from Dragon.

Crocodile quickly starts to see the flaws in their relationship, and his view on Dragon completely flips. Dragon is now a pathetic, selfish man, who never truly loved him, and only wants to punish him. The pregnancy is a cruel joke Dragon set to up mock Crocodile. He was just about to leave for the sea, and try his hand at his dreams again. But Dragon's support was always a façade, he knew how vulnerable a position like this would put Crocodile in. It was the prefect scenario to keep Crocodile caged.

Crocodile becomes resentful, unstable, and very depressed. He has no love for the thing he carries. Crocodile can't look at his reflection anymore, as he doesn't recognize the person looking back. He feels wrong and can't do anything about it. The midwife becomes very concerned by how Crocodile has progressed, but does all they can to care for and support him during the pregnancy. When Dragon sees how bad things have gotten, he has to make a hard decision. He sets up a plan with the midwife that when Crocodile gives birth, they will give him a clean opportunity to break away from all of this.

Luffy is born premature, and silent. He is separated from Crocodile to be checked over by the midwife. When everything is settled down, Dragon tells Crocodile the baby didn't make it. With all the pain and emotion this news brings, Crocodile finally takes off the ring. Letting this part of his life die. Wani is dead, he is now Crocodile. He rushes off to cash in a favor with Iva, puts all of that behind him. But as a reminder of the pain trusting and loving someone can bring, he will never put another ring on that finger.

Oh no, you hurt me!

Jail, jail for Dragon for a thousand years! I can totally see Dragon making a decision he thinks is for the best for Crocodile, but never even considering asking him his opinion. Maybe Crocodile didn't want a clean cut and a dead baby. (Even though you do say he came to resent the baby.)

Since I'm a hurt/comfort lover, I'm of course always trying to find a way how to fix it but it's a really difficult situation for Crocodile, maybe even more than for Dragon because he knows that Luffy lives. He will know that Crocodile lives. He has long accepted that he will choose his cause over his personal happiness. (Even if that means giving up Crocodile and the baby and the comfort that their relationship had been.)

I'm also thinking about the Marineford reveal because as far as Crocodile knows his baby is dead. Who does he think Luffy is? Another of Dragon's children? He probably doesn't think that it could be his baby. Wah.

[miimo96]

Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 episode 4

Alright 2 things, 1 I love how General lane Not only set up an entire bunker like fortress in Clark and Jimmy's apartment, but also made them Use a Code word in order for them to Even get in, 2 I Reallly love Clark's reaction to Jimmy's achievement, it really shows how much he cares about his friend and is really happy for him 😊 Also is it me or has the Animation gotten So much Better this Season, they really stepped their Game up since the Spiderman fiasco, especially when it comes to the lighting and faces, I mean just look at Clark's smile here >_<

Bruh I'm calling it right now, by the end of this Season Jimmy is going to lose ALL of his Money, that Money meter keeps going down each episode, if that isn't foreshadowing Idk what is ^^;

Once again I'm really loving the relationship between these 2, the fact that Jimmy wants Clark to come not because he's an Alien but because he's his best friend is really sweet, and it really shows just how much the writers Really know about Superman and his world and want to make it to the best version, also the fact that Clark is LITERALLY deciding which outfit seems more "Hype man" is Really funny to me, especially Jimmy's comeback line after this

Judging how Waller is clearly making another Task force X I wanna say this Blockbuster, but I'm not entirely sure, so far this guy's only appeared in like a few episodes this season, So if they kill him off I Wont entirely be mad, because he serves No purpose other than filling out the Villain slots, and the reason why I'm saying this might be Blockbuster is because I can't recall another Villain with super strength and Built like this in the suicide Squad other than blockbuster, who coincidently died IMMEDIATELY in a Suicide Squad comic run

Even though the episode is clearly about lois and father, it's Super obvious that it was actually focused on the relationship between Clark and Jimmy, and how they feel about 1 another, this scene with Clark telling Jimmy about how he's made him feel was really beautiful and Ngl, I kinda teared up at this point, the relationship between the 2 is some of the best I've seen in a Long time since the animated series back on WB Kids, they really put a lot of effort into fleshing out each character and making us Fall in love with them even more ^w^

The whole Superman Debate Scene was great, I really loved how Lex and Jimmy are basically two polar opposites, 1 supporting superman and his pureness and the other being Superman's biggest Hater, with both literally being incredibly rich rn, and it's kinda funny, while Jimmy is losing money, Lex is Gaining money, gaining everyhing that we know him for; Lex brought up a lot of good points regarding Superman and how "Dangerous" he is, Stuff that I think will Return in Season 3 with people Gunning for Superman or trying to Eliminate him, maybe we might actually see Batman Show up Next season 😏

I find it So CONVENIENT that general lane's Rendezvous point Just so happens to be near the STAR Labs EXPO, almost like if this was planned for this to happen here, So that when Superman shows up he could be made out as the Bad guy *looks intently at Lex*

As Sad as this scene is you're really telling me He DIDN'T HEAR THAT!? I mean the dude has SUPER HEARING for a reason, you're REALLY telling me he Didn't hear that? Ok whatever Sure, I guess super hearing Only works when the Writers Need it huh, even though they made a WHOLE episode about that Last season 😒

🥺🥺🥺 I don't have any words for this scene other than Seeing Clark like this really hurts my soul, seeing him come to the Realization that he's Never gonna truly fit in and that He NEEDS Someone like him to Really understand him just shows how much Clark has repressed these feelings by trying to be Something he's not, which is human, Now he's Finally starting to accept his Alien/Kryptonian half, with the 1st step being to find someone Truly like him

ZOD IS HERE OMG ZOD IS HERE!!

Also I Officially dub these Days "Superman Saturday's" ^^ 🦸‍♂️

[vindieselsfacebook-blog]

I've been very into Alvvays lately and wanted to share this gem aka THEE Lorelai Gilmore teen anthem!

Can't explain my ankle sprain I didn't really feel it New dress could turn your head But how long til we reel it in? Paradise and I find myself paralyzed Knowing all too well

The song describes a young woman making impulsive decisions with a man they've gotten carried away with. It paints a picture of a very Lorelai and Christopher kind of relationship where the girl enjoys the freedom, impulse, attention and sense of a private, escapist world with this person before reality comes crashing down around them. It's a relationship with a set timer, ticking along until its inevitable conclusion.

I love the line about not even feeling your ankle sprain - running around having fun, being silly, and causing little consequences for yourself, but they're ignorable or very low-stakes. At least at first. It feels so apt for teen Lorelai, who was rebelling from her controlling upbringing and beginning to mess around with alcohol and sex. Youthful cries for attention and unconditional love.

Blue Rev behind the rink, I didn't really need it Circumspect when you call collect To see if I would keep it Paradise and I find myself paralyzed Knowing all too well, terrified But I'll find my way

"Blue Rev" is a low brow vodka-based cola drink - think Zima. Reckless teens underage drinking behind a skating rink, confronting the reality of a pregnancy and the girl's decision to take control of the situation. The boy's reaction described as "circumspect" or wary, unwilling to take the risk while the girl takes it as an opportunity to find her own way, even though she's scared - sooo Christopher and Lorelai. He enjoys fucking around but ultimately prefers the gilded cage to the unknown on the other side.

Moving to the country Gonna have that baby Wait tables in town I know word gets around Moving to the country Gonna have this baby See how it goes See how it grows And I find myself paralyzed Knowing all too well, terrified But I'll find my way

One of my favorite themes in Gilmore Girls is how Lorelai took this classic ball-and-chain, life-ending symbol of an accidental teen pregnancy and saw it as a chance to strike out on her own, burn her life to the ground, and completely rebuild from scratch. Fans sometimes wonder why no one on this show ever seemed to seriously consider abortion (stubbornly ignoring that this was early 2000s WB and simply not an option unless it was for a total villain), especially for Lorelai who seemed so liberal, but she loved having this excuse to finally cut her own cord. It was an opportunity for her rather than a metaphorical death sentence.

"Moving to the country" with a blue-collar service job where you work with your hands... word getting around a gossipy small town... come on! Too good.

I'll egress to Inverness with nothing in my pocket Belinda says that heaven is a place on earth Well so is hell And we'll all get help, paradise And we'll start another life

The cherry on top is of course the titular reference to Belinda Carlisle - lead singer of the Go-Go's, one of Lorelai's idols, and the person who signed that vinyl Rory got for her graduation gift and left on the bus in S2. She of course has a famous solo song called "Heaven Is A Place On Earth".

Also a cute reference to Jess's personal Stars Hollow anthem "This Is Hell" by Elvis Costello. You know how much I love a Lorelai/Jess parallel. ;) What was escapist heaven to her was banished hell to him.

It doesn't hurt that Alvvay's dreamy, sentimental indie-pop sound feels right at home on any GG-inspired playlist. I like to think they'd make the cut on a Lane Kim mix CD.

[inventors-fair]

Next to Come: Split Precedent Runners-Up

Our runners-up this week are @loadingreadywalk, @nyxbird, and @yourrightfulking!

@loadingreadywalk — Death & Taxes

Great username, simple design, cool stuff. Shame that Death is already a card (on Life & Death) but in my fantasy-land I'm imagining in good faith that you're either reclaiming it or just didn't know and either way, I think that this version is probably more likely to be printed in the limited environment that wants it. The only question is about Taxes, and lemme tell you I've never been good at taxes. What I will say is that most Treasure precedent (which should always be capitalized!) in white is a repeatable effect that is indeed taxing; as permanents, your opponents can change their game actions to reflect whether or not you get your due.

Here, it feels a little dodgier? Imagine, on the play, your opponent's played a second land and then passes. You cast Taxes, then play your second land. By the time your next turn's come around, if you have a land, you've generated an extra mana, where your opponent may not have. That, to me, feels out of the color pie. But also, Discerning Financier kinda does the same thing, so what the heck. BUT but, it's public information that can be interacted with and incentivizes letting your Treasure go... What's the end game? I think... I think it would be okay. In a WB deck, both early game and mid-late game can be taken care of. I'm erring on the side of you knowing what you're doing. Man, that's a tough one.

@nyxbird — Will to Live

I'll note that the story here is quite good if you take some of the Will aspect as less hypnotic despair and more along the lines of someone being persuaded by your iron dominance because you're that much better—almost a blackish side of Blue. And then, yeah, Live-ing on the creature you just took? Very fun. The board possibilities in the late game can allow for the UG midrangey or ramp decks to absolutely go nuts on the crackback. Just make sure that you spell your keywords right, yeah? Get that "indestructable" back on the chopping block before you commit.

For what it's worth, too, I love this Amonkheti dynamic where the zombies, eternalized or embalmed or whatever, are all shambling without will and, as such, as much easier to take over with this card because, well, no mana value. I mean, c'mon, I think that that's awesome! There are board possibilities with this card that don't make it strictly better than Entrancing Melody necessarily, but it's still real damn strong. Is Live the card that'll save you after you steal a small threat, on the defense? Or is it going to make the card you Will-ed that much stronger? The implication that you Live the Will-ed creature is fascinating tension to me. Will you? Won't you? I just think it's neat. Great card for the shell, a top-end rare to guide ramp decks to victory.

@yourrightfulking — Goods & Services

I find it interesting that you can't actually have both, despite the two of them representing the same general family of thing, e.g. peanuts. And also, props to having someone render this for you, heh... I know that set symbol like I know the back of my toast, the one without butter. And you'd 'butter' be ready to see what kinds of goods and services that this card has to offer. What I like about Goods is that, on the one hand, it's an easy lifegain card with Food being fairly deciduous or whatever, and there's also the possibility of an archetype that could absolutely kick ass with it.

Services? Well, you'd better be willing to pay. It's such a great twist that you actually took a blank & blank and twisted it so that both of them are independently cool but together they're supposed to show similarity, and by contrasting them that contrast is itself elevated. I'm down for it, and especially down for the two worlds where one person is indeed displaying goods for you, and on the other side... Well, the wetwork is some serious business, but paying for it can be costly, especially in limited where your options are just that. This card feels really balanced in all the right ways, and I can envision civility and assassination in equal measure. I hope that that makes sense because when I told my therapist that, they just stared.

Commentation and commendation soon! @abelzumi

[canonicallysoulmates]

J2 Gold Panel Nashcon 2022

Temperatures in Nashville are dropping so Jared was excited that he had gotten to wear a scarf the day prior because of the chill and Jensen jokes that Jared waits all year long to be able to put on a scarf, that he lives in the wrong place to have a scar fetish to which Jared replies that he wouldn’t call it a fetish and Jensen just goes "you can call it whatever you want, it's a fetish" 😂

Jumping into the questions, do they think the brothers actually read every Carver Edlund book to find out what their brother was thinking or did they make a pact not to read them? Jared says Sam read them cause Sam read and read when he was alive. Jensen said Sam probably told Dean to read them but Dean told him "I don’t read books, books read me.” and "why would I read, I’m living it?"

He doesn’t know that Dean would have read one but he thinks he has one of the prop books and Jared says he thinks he has one too but that he doesn’t know which one. Jensen says he and Jared were full kleptomaniacs on the set of spn, and he can admit that now bc he hasn’t been served legal papers and it’s been years. So Jared asks him what his favorite thing that he took is, and Jensen answers that he would say baby but that’s not really a theft, they got permission otherwise it would have been awkward when they would have kept driving off in her. Jared mentions that outside of what they took they got little gift packages from the props department. So there are some fun things.

Jensen says that WB did send a list of things they wanted to retain and there were a lot of leftover things that didn’t seem relevant or special but were special to them like items that may not mean anything to the studio but it did to them. But he will say one of the things that found its way into his pocket was years before when he knew they were going to destroy Bobby’s house, on his desk there was a little antique brass calendar that you roll to turn the date and for some reason, he would keep playing with it on set and he thought it was the coolest little vintage thing and it went “missing” he doesn’t know where it went. Jared jokes that this explains why Jensen’s always calling him being like dude can you believe it’s 1996? 😆

Jared starts to say he stole- then changes his wording and says two things went "missing" from Bobby’s desk one was his flask and the other was an owl figurine paperweight thing but Jim was like 'oh I was hoping to get that owl, I don’t know what happened to it' so Jared went to his trailer and gave it to him. Post-show he was given some of the legos, samulet, an army man, hotel room keys, and he got sent like three of the burner phones. Jensen says when they were like 'okay last day on Bobby Singer's house tearing it down tomorrow' he and Jared went full cat burglar on stage, that he would have taken the couch if he could have fit it in his shirt. x

A fan is having their second child and they want the boys to vote on the two names they’ve narrowed down to, the two names are Calvin or William. The boys joke around about names, and I don't know how to explain it but basically, Jensen does a weird shortening of Jared's name saying that when he says it to others he ends up spitting all over people, and Jared goes 'yeah you just spit on me I think, I'm now moisturized 😂' Jensen brings up the good point that something parents have to think about is what’s the shortening of that name going to be, and after some more back and forth the vote is for Calvin from both of them. x

Through this panel and the main one, Jared is making pun jokes left and right, and one of them is that he says there was a kidnapping at his children's school but he woke up. And Jensen comments that he wanted to punch Jared when he told him that yesterday because their kids go to the same school and Jared approached him very seriously and was like "did you hear there was a kidnapping?" and Jensen was worried he was like "what grade?" "5th grade but it’s okay he woke up." and Jensen was ready to smack him 😂

Assuming they were telling the truth, whether or not they decided to believe, what would be their reaction to getting the monsters are real talk? Jared answers that he would say "no shit man, I ain’t concerned I know a guy who knows a guy who knows these two brothers they’ll keep us safe." Jensen says he guesses it’s a good thing he’s been practicing for the last 15yrs, even though it was pretend now it can have real-world applications, he’s essentially been training, he’s been at boot camp for 15yrs so he'd be like "put me in the field coach let’s get it on." x

What was it like working with James Marsters and Charisma Carpenter? It was awesome. Jared says that they had met them a few times, in their line of work you kind of run into everybody at some point in time so they kind of knew them both casually but then they’ve (JM and CC) done so much tv that they knew their lines and knew how to do stunts and they were sweet and kind. And he thinks Charisma introduced him to Twitter or facebook or something, she asked if he was on there and he said no and she told him how to do it and to follow her so he did, and James was also awesome.

Jensen says James was great and that something he remembers vividly about that episode is that they had a stunt where Dean gets pulled by some french doors and usually there's a stunt team with ratchet pulls and machines to yank you but for some reason the set was positioned in a way that would make it difficult to rig up the system but one of their special effects guys was a former football player and was jacked and he said he could just pull Jensen. So his stunt double went first, Jensen says thank god cause he got to see what was going to be done to him, and then it was his turn and he put on the belt, and then the guy had a harness that tied them together and he got into the hut position like you do when you're playing (american) football and when they yelled action he ran and Jensen went flying as if he got hit by a pickup truck. And James was shocked. x

If they could play a character in a video game or play a video game character in a live-action adaptation what would they choose? Jared says Mario in the voice and does some jumping. And Jensen is just like wtf? 😂

Jensen reveals that he was pushing hard for this role but he doesn’t think he was even in the mix or even had a shot at it but it was for Pedro Pascal’s role in the Last Of Us adaptation. That was high up on his radar but he is headed to LA to shoot for a whole day for a new game that’s coming out that’d be in January but he can’t say what it is just yet. I love Jared’s little expression here when Jensen mentions this project he looks so excited, and he jokes that if you can find Jensen he’s going to be in a skin-tight green suit that he'll tweet the location. x

I had never heard of this but it's an interesting concept. A fan is marrying themself and they want a song recommendation from each of the boys for their reception. Jensen says Reba’s 'I’m a survivor'. An iconic song. Jared says unstoppable by Sia. x

If they could have dinner with any three people living or dead who would they be? Jensen asks if they can just go with one or the other because if you say living or dead you open it up to everybody, so the fan says dead. That doesn’t narrow it down for Jensen and he comments that living would have been much easier because so many more people have died.

Jared replies that he would love to have dinner with his dad’s dad, so his great grandpa, who passed before he was born, probably a Greek philosopher, and their friend Matt to have a final conversation with him. Jensen says he could throw a long list because there’s a lot, language might be an issue but he has some questions for Jesus, he would also ask him to walk on water and tell him his water doesn’t taste like wine be like "spice this up padre", and then he would probably go with his two grandfathers because he wasn’t old enough to really understand their lives the way he is now and he’d ask a lot more questions; he’d want to see his grandmas too but he feels he knew his grandmother's more because they shared with him more. That it's a generational thing men didn’t talk very much in their generation so he feels like if he had opened that door they would have been receptive to it but that’s not a door that you opened back then, so he would have liked to have sat with them and asked them about their life, especially the war. x

To wrap up the panel, during the course of 15yrs what was their favorite/most challenging/grossest monster? Jensen says he knows Jared’s grossest, it's when he had to cut the hellhound stomach and all the guts fell on him. Jared says that and the fly monster that drools because he hates spit, that he rather someone come up to him and punch him in the face than spit on him on purpose. That there was one where they had to spray him with juice or something and he felt it was like getting spit but they were like 'it’s just a water gun' so he was like that’s fine, so anything that feels like mouth fluid even though he has no problem doing things like drinking a coke after his kids. He also says he hasn’t showered this month. Jared, you are going down a path I cannot follow because this I cannot defend, take a shower! This is probably why you keep getting sick. Then Jensen brings up how Jared would stick his gum on the table in Jensen's trailer and then pop it back in his mouth. I had not heard this story in so long, this is like from the vault of classic j2.

Then his fav were probably shapeshifters. He likes the mental chess whether Jensen was the shapeshifter, or he was or somebody else was those were kind of his favorite scenes to shoot cause they were kind of like the psychological warfare instead of just kicking and punching and cutting off heads. 

Jensen would say his favorite was probably vampires because they didn’t have the power to press them against a wall like demons did, like if Crowley is pining them against a wall that's a position they gotta stay in for a minute and a half till they yell cut and do over and over again so you start hyperventilating and it’s exhausting, and your muscles cramp up. Vampires were just good old fashion hand to hand combat and he enjoyed that a lot better than some sort of supernatural element that has them being thrown around by whatever. 

Grosses he’s gonna go back all the way to Wendigo. Seeing that for the first time really set the town for the kind of show that they were doing for the next year. Not 15 years because they had no idea that’s how long they were gonna go, the boys also mention that the actor who played Roy was not a classically trained stuntman, but he was all for doing his stunt so they put the fire gel on him and set him on fire and then about two seconds later he was asking for it to be put out, he did not like it, and Jared and Jensen were left freaked out and wondering about what they had just gotten themselves into. x

J2 Gold Panel Nashcon

[eevees-hobbies]

Hi Eve! Just wanna share some drabbles: wb boys(Sakura, Suo) visiting and finding you wearing nothing under your shirt.

Sakura notices it right away and stands at the doorway, face visibly heating up. You try acting as innocent as you can, getting close asking him what's wrong. You two stand there staring at each other until he suddenly pulls you into a hug. "You're teasing me." You hear him mutter and hug him back, chuckling as you kiss his neck. "Maybe we should do this more ofte-""No"

The plan was to get a reaction out of Suo, but of course things didn't go as planned. Not when he acted so casually, not wavering a bit when he greeted you. And soon you forgot your little plan, now you're cuddling on the couch. But when food delivery arrives and you try to get up, you find a hand on your waist, fingers a little too close to the curve your breast. Suo smiles with the same nonchalance, "I'll go get it, you stay put." He says before squeezing his hand, and you don't move an inch til he comes back.

(I had this idea because where I'm at it's just so hot that I almost want to cut out my boobs just so I don't have to wear another layer of cloth.) This is a bit silly and short but I hope you enjoy, have a nice day!

Anon…..you sent this to me? Like you thought of this and were like, “Eevee would appreciate this.”

My heart is fluttering, I’m BLUSHING, and my ovaries are clenching. Thank you for thinking of meeeeeeee.

But not you activating my demon time before 7 AM where I am.

Yes, to everything you said!

But can I add that even though Sakura SAYS you two shouldn’t do this so often, it consumes his thoughts afterward? He literally can’t help his eyes from wandering to your chest in the future, thinking about how he could see the unmistakable outline of your nipples, how the soft, thin fabric of your top clung to your skin, allowing him to picture the curve of your breasts. 

And maybe the next time he takes a shower, also in an attempt to temper the heatwave that he’s also experiencing, he’s thinking about you and that fucking shirt. Using nothing but body wash, his hand, and his imagination, Sakura can’t help but fuck his fist to the idea of fondling your tits through your shirt, lifting it ever-so-slightly so your tummy is exposed as he bends you over and slips into you. 

And all of that just from teasing him. I’m feral.

And SUO’S!? The unshakeable man that Suo is?! I love your characterization here. While I know I like to write Suo as a sharer of you with his friends, the idea of someone else, a stranger, setting their eyes on you makes him sick to his stomach.

You are too precious. You are a delicacy. And you don’t let just anyone experience that of which is a treasure. Yeah, Suo shares you on his terms (and if you’re into that). Otherwise, sit your ass back on that couch like a good girl. And maybe the shirt should be off when he gets back, yeah?

Thank you for sending me this, Anon...I loved it!

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Looks like Eddie Murphy has some muscle when it comes to these sorts of things, because DreamWorks is apparently at work on a DONKEY movie, set for release sometime after SHREK 5 comes out.

Murphy did say in a recent interview that he "thinks" SHREK 5 is going to be out next year, but with DreamWorks having three films slotted for 2025 - DOG MAN, BAD GUYS 2, and GABBY'S DOLLHOUSE... I don't think so.

2026 seems right still, plus the first movie turns 25 that year. But Murphy has recorded some lines for it for a few months, so it's closer than not.

Given how well both PUSS IN BOOTS movies did (I get the sense that the first one is kinda-sorta forgotten? It actually did very well way back in 2011), and the sequel was a leggy phenomenon, so I'm not surprised that there'd be some traction on a Donkey movie. The SHREK franchise is as alive as ever some two decades after SHREK came out, and some three decades after the original book by William Steig was published.

I'm wondering if it's going to be more than just "Donkey yuks it up for 90 minutes", but that would still be fun anyhow. After THE LAST WISH, I think it'd be cool to see a Donkey movie be told through his perspective in a way animation can really pull off. And not in the more expected way CG movies, including the SHREKs, often do. THE LAST WISH goes hard on a storybook/fairy tale look and tone, and retains the very Three Musketeers/Spaghetti Western-informed vibe of the first PUSS IN BOOTS. When action happens, there are those little flourishes and such that - to me - make you experience the story the way the character is feeling it. Very much like classic Disney animated films, ironically. Maybe a Donkey movie could do the same, but in a way that really puts you in the head of this wisecracking ass.

Also, is it theatrical? Or something that'll be sent to a streamer? (Either ORION AND THE DARK-style where it's a full-on DWA picture that for whatever reason didn't go to theaters, or MEGAMIND TV Pilot-style where it's made somewhere else w/ a wholly different team and was never meant for the big screen or potential awards.)

If it's a theatrical movie, that would make it, I think, one of the first big-time Western animated movie to spawn theatrical spin-offs based on two separate characters. Theatrical, that is. If any Disney animated feature got a spin-off, it was largely through direct-to-video stuff and that's a whole other clustercuss of its own. ICE AGE recently had that Disney+ Buck Wild thing made at some other studio, as well.

But no, I'm referring to theatrical... Especially if made by the same studio.

I think THE LEGO MOVIE got there first. As pretty much everyone knows, Batman was a character in that movie... And he got his own theatrical movie in 2017 featuring tons of other DC and WB-owned characters, it's the second-ever release in the LEGO MOVIE series. An unusual move in retrospective, LEGO MOVIE 2 probably should've been next, *then* LEGO BATMAN. Warner Bros. made an equally unusual decision to follow that up with THE LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE towards the end of 2017, which featured *no one* from the previous two movies. It was all characters from the Ninjago line and assorted new faces. It lost money on its release, too... I think doing two spin-off movies about two separate sets of characters before a proper LEGO MOVIE sequel helped hurt that film when it finally came out in 2019... Five years after the first movie. It didn't enjoy any of the success of the original, and Warner Bros. offloaded the franchise - probably sans Batman and such - to Universal... Who, as I understand, are still deep at work on a LEGO MOVIE 3 of sorts.

Worth noting that Warner also had other LEGO MOVIE spin-offs in development before LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART released. A Jorge R. Gutierrez-directed pic called THE BILLION BRICK RACE was one of them. Warners really though they had a whole expanded LEGO MOVIE-verse going on there, and perhaps got lost in that before building a solid base with Emmet Brickowski and friends.

DreamWorks, of course, is making a DOG MAN movie. The DOG MAN books are a spin-off of Dav Pilkey's CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS, which DreamWorks adapted into a movie in 2017. DOG MAN may or may not feature the Captain himself.

Illumination's DESPICABLE ME has two MINIONS movies, which cover... Well... The Minions, a whole group. A character unit itself, and young Gru appears in both movies, having a much larger role in the second one. Kinda spin-off/prequel-ish movies... But there's no movie that's just about, say, Lucy or younger Vector or anyone like that. So, that's just one for DESPICABLE ME.

Pixar... TOY STORY has one character-centric spin-off movie in LIGHTYEAR, though that was a wholly different take on Buzz. CARS has one in two PLANES movies about a character who doesn't appear in any of the CARS movies. The PLANES movies were made at Disneytoon Studios by crews who mostly weren't on the CARS movies. John Lasseter is exec producer of them, and wrote the story for the first one. They're by all means direct-to-video type movies made elsewhere, much like the Disney ones of the '90s and '00s, but they got theatrical releases. We almost got a third one that was all about spacecraft, and a fourth one about city transit. We almost had a whole CARS cinematic universe there, with 3/4 of it not being made by Pixar.

So yeah... DreamWorks finally having two separate characters headlining their own movies apart from the larger franchise they come from... Interesting development. Luckily for them, they were four movies into SHREK when PUSS IN BOOTS came out, and they'll be five movies in if DONKEY happens.

[xamaxenta]

I firmly believe the bond between captain and first mate was solidified when deuce and ace left that barren island chanting ‘Arson! Arson! Arson!’ Not whatever flowery reason deuce gave in the novel. After all that novel is supposed to be deuces diary, he could very well be writing bullshit to cover for the fact that he’s just as bad as ace.

Hell I bet once they got hauled off to the moby the WBs pegged only ace as the arsonist and corralled him somewhere non flammable like ‘as long as we have at least one person watching him and putting out fires it’ll be fine’ and so didn’t notice the not yet assimilated deuce sharing his captains thought process perfectly and quietly setting the rigging on fire repeatedly until they took all 6 of his lighters and the emergency flint and steel

The point is they are as bad as eachother deuce just has training in pretending to be decent in front of people he doesn’t trust and ace doesn’t care to

Sabo and Deuce would actually love each other because they both have the distinct unhingedness of growing up privileged realising just how fucked up their position in a broken society is and going nah FUCK that noise

Sabo becomes a lead pipe toting bone breaking strongest grip in the fucking world man of the revolution fuck the government to the max

Deuce meanwhile becomes a pirate because why the hell not, reasons fuck being a normie i wanna see the world and cause a little ruckus at the same time and i respect that

I immensely enjoy the concept that Deuce was writing a cover up to make him look good and Ace look like a crazy bitch bc thats how it is and then it transitions into the actual loyalty love and respect of true friendship but man those initial chapters WOOF LMAO he put Ace DOWN for sure i know he did so i almost brainwd this motherfucker on this forsaken hunk of fuckall called sixis and his dumb fucking ass went hey wanna like hang out

WHERE IDIOT???? THERES NOTHING TO DO BRO

Anyway they both indulge in petty arson Ace just had to show Deuce his devil fruit like shit this is actually kinna sick and Deuce went whoa does it hurt no? Okay cool i have a confession i reealy like blowing shit up

Ace: sweet me too 👌🏽

Corraling Ace in somewhere nonflammable would be the showers and hes just there LMAO skulking in the showers in the Moby and side eyeing all the crew coming to shower like fuck i do not give a fuck about your dick jones just shower and get the fuck out k

Cue petty crew nervously showering as Ace glowers at them in his seastone cuffs from the corner of the tiled room aHAH DF ZHCHSJADB this is so stupid

And then Marco walks in naked and Ace is like AWOOGA!!!!!

I kinda care about YOU naked

And then Deuce throws his book at Ace like holy shit hes just showering man fucking get a grip

Ace literally a rabig dog debased insnane like the fucking ass dimples, do you see those legs can i ask him to step on me oleaspleapelase actually salivating over the pecs on this dude like he wants to smother himself in THOSE WOOFWOOF

Deuce opens his book of horrors and writes: My captain was a man of many and yet rarely well practiced talents, flirtation was never a strong suit of his but by the seas he tried. The one to receive the brunt of his bawdy affections was none other than the totally out of his league, Marco the goddamn fucking Phoenix, yeah you read that right, Marco the fucking Phoenix

Ace scowling at Deuce like stop that i can see the pinch in your eyebrows asshole i know youre writing some rude fucking shit well im abbouta shiv your ass that fuckin stupid pencil of yours you know I cant read dickfuck

Deuce flourishing as he writes just to piss him off more and Ace cant do anything cuz hes chained to the wall in the showers

Marco walks out finished with his shower and Ace actually makes the most pathetic noise in his throat like a kicked dog and Deuce thinks the boot shaped bruise across his face was totally worth the ten seconds of hyena laughter he got to work with (ace kicked at him so hard his shoe flew off and smacked deuce in the face)

[derschwarzeengel]

CHARMED (1998) - SEASON 1 || Sentence Starters (pt. 1)

A collection of sentence starters taken from The WB's Charmed, for roleplay purposes. Slightly NSFW (mentions of sex, violence).

01. Something Wiccan This Way Comes

❝Oh my God, I don't believe it. Tell me that's not our old spirit board?❞

❝Yeah, I found it in the basement when I was looking for the circuit tester.❞

❝That girl is so in the dark, maybe a little light will help.❞

❝You're avoiding my question.❞

❝Because you don't want to know that I went to an occult shop.❞

❝You hate me don't you? You wanna see me suffer.❞

❝Right. That's an athame. It's a ceremonial tool. Witches use them to direct energy.❞

❝Some woman got whacked.❞

❝You used to always push the pointer.❞

❝Don't you think you're overreacting? We're perfectly safe here.❞

❝Don't say that. In horror movies, the person who says that is always the next to die.❞

❝Spirit boards, books of witchcraft. It figures all this freaky stuff started when you arrived.❞

❝Well, my head spun around and I vomited split-pea soup. How should I know?❞

❝Don't tell me you put on a black conical hat and spent the night flying around the neighborhood on a broomstick?❞

❝Look, I know what happened last night was weird and unexplainable, but we're not witches and we do not have special powers.❞

❝We're the protectors of the innocent. We're known as the Charmed Ones.❞

❝I thought breaking up with you was the best thing I'd ever done. But this definitely tops that.❞

❝Are you telling me that nothing strange happened to you today? You didn't freeze time or move anything?❞

❝With how much you hold inside, you should be a lethal weapon by now.❞

❝No, I'm not okay. You turned me into a witch.❞

❝You were born one. We all were. And I think we better start to deal with it.❞

❝Actually, a witch can be either good or evil. A good witch follows the Wiccan Rede. 'An it harm none, do what ye will.' A bad witch or a warlock has but one goal: to kill good witches and retain their powers. Unfortunately, they look like regular people. They could be anyone, anywhere.❞

❝You know I'm not afraid of our powers. I mean, everyone inherits something from their family, right?❞

❝Who wants to be normal when we can be special?❞

❝The Book of Shadows said our powers would grow.❞

❝The power of three will set us free.❞

02. I've Got You Under My Skin

❝News flash. Stop worrying, you'll get wrinkles.❞

❝Are you worried we're gonna be burnt at the stake?❞

❝Well, I tend to be on the persistent side. I usually get what I want.❞

❝Well, my life, it's gotten a little complicated and I just don't think that I should get involved in anything right now.❞

❝We had sex. It doesn't mean we have to elope.❞

03. Thank You for Not Morphing

❝You know, that is a sign. Let's turn back now before it's too late.❞

❝Okay, I came, I saw, I was perky. Now I just want my head on a pillow because I have to wake up early.❞

❝Oh, what a coinkidink. Look, who's here.❞

❝We've been through this. Okay, cop, witch, is not a love connection.❞

❝Now this is really creepy. If there were a dog in the house, then it had to have an owner. No dog I know can open that front door, let alone reach the top shelf.❞

❝Hey, maybe we should get a security system.❞

❝Well, either we could rely on our vicious guard cat to protect us or we could remember to lock the doors.❞

❝I don't know what kind of people you're used to dealing with but I'd lay serious coin that they aren't willing to rip you into a thousand pieces and dance on your entrails.❞

❝Ahh, so you're lawyers. And here I was assuming you were shape shifters.❞

04. Dead Man Dating

❝I was nowhere near the neighborhood, thought I'd stop by.❞

❝Maybe the ghosts need protection from me.❞

❝Yeah, well, I decided to break that tradition and start a new one.❞

❝A weekend of rest, rubdowns and room service. What's to think about?❞

❝This is not funny. Our powers are supposed to be a secret, not a marketable job skill.❞

❝Relax. They didn't hire me because they think I'm a witch, they hired me because they think I'm a psychic.❞

❝Hair splitting. You know you can't use your powers for personal gain, not without consequences.❞

❝I've tried communicating with every psychic in the city. You were my last chance.❞

❝Oh my God. I can see you but no one else can?❞

❝I'm dead, I'm a ghost.❞

❝Please, I don't have much time. Somebody has to find my body before it's too late.❞

❝It's a Chinese myth. At least I always thought it was a myth. It's called Thowhoi, when the gates of hell open. We're almost there.❞

❝If the gatekeeper, Yama, catches my soul before my body's properly buried, he'll take my to hell forever.❞

❝Yama doesn't care about good or evil. He just wants souls. I should've listened to my mother.❞

❝I'm a good witch, remember?❞

❝I don't know. I panic, I put up both hands and bad things tend to freeze.❞

❝Talk to her? And tell her what? That you're a witch in touch with the ghost of her dead son?❞

❝You of all people should know that bribery is a crime.❞

❝The first time I saw you I thought you were a ghost.❞

❝Leave it to me to fall for a dead guy.❞

❝It's an improvement. At least he wasn't a warlock.❞

05. Dream Sorcerer

❝Are your parents terrorists? ‘Cos baby you're the bomb.❞

❝When you fell from Heaven, did it hurt? ‘Cos I know an angel when I see one.❞

❝Hmm. I'm no angel. I'm a witch.❞ 

❝They have been going at if for almost an hour.❞

❝Um, I think there's been some kind of a mistake. I didn't order this.❞

❝You have a secret admirer. He ordered it for you.❞

❝You look beautiful in that dress. I knew you would.❞

❝It's your dream, but it's my fantasy.❞

❝Hehehe. You're dreaming. I'm visiting.❞

❝In dreams I can do anything. I can dance in your dreams, I can alter your dreams, and I can kill you in your dreams.❞

❝Did you know that if you die in your dreams, you die in real life?❞

❝Every bone in her body's been crushed.❞

❝The coroner said it's as if she's fallen of a twenty story building.❞

❝[name], here's the problem. You didn't read the fine print. See. It says right here. $19.95 for the video and twenty grand for the plastic surgeon.❞

❝That woman? Of course men want her. Men are not different from women. We all want what we can't have. Which is why we need to stop thinking about what men want and start thinking about what we want in a man.❞

❝Tons of fun, lots of heats and no strings attached. That's what I want.❞

❝I know this may not sound very P.C., but I want romance. Long, slow kisses, late-night talks, candle lights. I love love. I'd take what [name] has in a flat second.❞

❝There aren't any signs of external damage consistent with any type of fall. In fact there's not a scratch on her.❞

❝Yeah, well, maybe we were wrong. Maybe the body was moved.❞

❝Come on. There must be more to our powers than warlock wasting. I'm ready to have some fun with our magic.❞

❝How is it personal gain, if we're using our powers to bring happiness to another person. And in my case lots and lots of happiness.❞

❝Look, I'm not talking about marriage here. We have our 30s to freak out about that. This... this spell is about having good time.❞

❝I admit it's tempting. The dating scene can be a little frustrating. But bringing men into our life through a spell... correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that a little bit desperate.❞

❝No. How is asking for what you want being desperate? I say it's not. I say it's empowering. Besides, the Book of Shadows says we could reverse this spell at any time.❞

❝Ooh. Did I say spell? I... I meant recipe. We are so busted, aren't we?❞

❝You're seriously twisted. This is the spell we have to say?❞

❝We're lucky. If we were men looking for women the spell requires putting a piece of honey cake in a sweaty armpit for day.❞

❝Scream all you want. No one can help you.❞

❝I'm in your conscious. I know your every thought and desire.❞

❝I'm the man of your dreams.❞

❝You're not real. You don't exist.❞

❝I'm going to love you to death.❞

❝Don't worry. We had safe sex. A lot of safe sex.❞

06. The Wedding from Hell

❝At certain times in our life, a cold shower is probably a good thing.❞

❝Sorry the dead man on your driveway is such an inconvenience.❞

 ❝Welcome to the lifestyles of the rich and shameless.❞

❝That's why we get paid medium bucks. To figure it out.❞

❝Can you imagine watching the man you love marry somebody else?❞

❝She's a demon. She comes to earth every two hundred years. She has to find an innocent, put him under her spell, and marry him in a sanctified wedding.❞

❝That doesn't sound any different than most of the single women in this city.❞

❝Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't we trying to stop this wedding?❞

[episodicnostalgia]

Spider-man: The Animated Series, 101 (Nov. 19, 1994) - “Night of the Lizard”

Written by: Gerry Conway, Stan Berkowitz, & John Semper Jr. Directed by: Bob Richardson

The Breakdown

After sightings of a mysterious lizard-creature in the sewers make the news, J Jonah Jameson offers a $1,000 reward to whoever can provide a photographic proof.  Peter Parker is hurting for cash, so he grabs his camera and thwips into action.  First up, he begins his search with a visit to his professor (Dr. Curt Connors) because that guy knows, like, a LOT about Lizards you guys. In fact, Connors even has a fancy ray gun at his campus facility called a “Neogenic Recombinator” which is capable of giving small mammals the ability to regrow missing limbs just by zapping some Reptile DNA into them. Pretty neat, right? Maybe one day this device will help Connors regrow his own arm, but surely not today. Of course, that expository information is purely to set the tone of the story, and I’m sure it won’t relate directly to the primary narrative or events of this episode.

In the twist that utterly may shock you, it turns out that Doc Connors and the Lizard are-one-and-the-same on account of engaging in a reckless attempt to regrow his own arm, which has gone horribly wrong! (Who could have foreseen this?) With a new set of reptilian priorities, Croc Connors decides to turn everyone into Anthropomorphic Reptiles, because he’s decided being a dinosaur-man actually kinda slaps. (Important follow up question: does he maybe have a point? That does sound awesome.)  Regardless, it’s poor form to assume that’s what everyone wants without checking first, so Pete gets into Spidey mode and shuts the whole thing down, using the gene-ray-gun to turn Connors back into his normal human self.  And to top it off Peter gets the pictures so he can keep the noose of capitalism at bay for a little while longer!  Yay!

The Verdict

One thing these old 90’s cartoons excelled at was in getting to the point. ‘Night of the Lizard’ picks up when Spider-man is already well established, and Peter is in university. Even Peter’s supporting cast are all introduced as if the audience could already know them, and it works. At no point are we ever left to wonder what’s going on, or who anyone is. The writing and animation on this show never reached the maturity of Batman: TAS or other WB fare of the era, but this episode still holds up pretty well for a 90’s kids show. Visually the animators do a decent job of capturing Spider-man’s acrobatics (the webbing looks great), although the CGI backgrounds have not aged gracefully. Meanwhile, what the writing lacks in emotional depth, it makes up for it in whiz-bang adventure that’s simultaneously a faithful update to the source material. 

When all is said and done, this is remains a solid intro to an iconic show from my childhood.

3 stars (out of 5)

Additional Observations

I like that they introduced Eddie Brock as a rival photographer right away. Gives us some time to establish his dynamic with Peter before he becomes Veno- I mean, I’m sure they’ll sort out their differences amicably.

The Lizard’s design is spot on. As a kid watching this show felt like like a comic book come to life. Coincidentally the Lizard was one of the first Spidey rogues I was introduced to back when I first started reading comics.

I love how a university has access to a device capable of creating literal super-monsters almost instantly, and there seems to be no resources devoted to guarding it. And this is only the first of many times that specific one-of-a-kind device will be misused to a similar effect. Maybe the line between this universe with super-people, and ours, is a better security budget.

[davidmariottecomics]

Brandifying the "Geek", or How Funko Became the Band-Aid

Hello again! 

Last week, I was talking about comics job (in)security, particularly in light of the majority of Comixology staff being let go, and also touched on the continued migration of comic creators to Substack, despite some public problems that platform's had.

Discussing both of those things had me thinking about the safety of a default, which is going to be a lot of what we're talking about today, and we're going to be talking about that through the highs and lows of association with a brand. I'm not here to specifically call out or bash anyone's interests or even any big companies, so much as using this as a chance to talk about trends in the larger sphere of "nerd culture" that effect audience expectations and, often, the thought processes of creatives and creative companies--the parts that actually matter to people trying to make and tell stories.  

Why Brands Like Being Brands Starting at the most basic level, let's talk about what makes a brand and why they're important to this conversation. 

Take a look at your stuff. Chances are there's a lot within pretty easy reach that you call by a brand name, rather than a generic name. Band-Aid (bandages), Tupperware (plastic containers), Kleenex (tissues), whatever.

Or maybe you don't always refer to it by the brand name, but you make assumptions about it related to the brand: tablets are iPads, cell phones are iPhones, simple and cheap furniture's from IKEA, plastic building blocks are LEGOs, sodas are Coke, and sports drinks are Gatorade. That sort of thing.

Brands like being brands because when their name is commonly associated with a product, it's good for business. More name recognizability, easier market penetration. The more a brand exists in the cultural consciousness, the more self-sustaining it is, allowing for longer lifespans and more money. If a business is lucky, at some point they corner the market and either really or artificially box out their competition and become a default. We'll get more into this later on how creators engage with each other and their audience, but keep that in mind. The other key to having a "default" is it sets a sort of standard that people can judge against, but it may or may not actually speak to quality or reliability. 

Ready Player One

If you've been reading through my blog for a while, you'll know I've been slowly making my way through the Blank Check Podcast back catalog. I'm finishing up Spielberg right now and was just listening to the Ready Player One episode. And part of their discussion, which at this point is 5 years old anyway, is the change in the pop cultural landscape between the release of Ready Player One the book and RPO the movie. The book released in 2011. I really enjoyed it on my first read as a young man who liked older pop culture and was looking forward to this crazy idea that there could be a good Avengers movie on the way because outside of X-Men, team superhero movies were practically not a thing and even something so mainstream to me as a comic reader felt like a major crossing-over event in the wider public consciousness. But by the time RPO the movie came out, the Avengers were about to have an Infinity War with characters from a dozen other movies. The language of Cinematic Universes was well established. Star Wars was back and doing a new trilogy! And Hot Topics around the world had walls of little toy statues making every property imaginable a uniform little big-headed guy. 

There's a lot I could talk about in terms of how nostalgia plays into all of that or Warner Bros. multiple attempts at creating a "multiversal WB brand" between RPO, Space Jam 2, MultiVersus, Etc. But why I'm actually bringing it up is in the past little over a decade--and particularly over the past few years as the state of the world has necessitated changes to both shopping and media consumption habits--the brandification of "nerd culture" or "geek culture" or "collector culture" or whatever you want to call it has exploded as businesses have really tried to expand their brands to become pillars of the pop culture landscape. And I think that has started to influence not just the audience, but creators too. 

The Brands of Geekdom

If I go into my local Target, chances are I'll stop by the "Collector's Spot" or whatever they call it. It's a little section by the books, video games, and whatever remains of their movies & music, usually within eyesight of, but not part of, the toy aisles. It makes sense. According to a recent report, "kidults" or--checks the description--anyone 12 or older who enjoys toys (rolls eyes), make up roughly 1/4th of overall toy sales.  At my local Targets, at least, it always seems like an odd selection. There are usually some of Super7's ReAction Figures, but specifically ones where there isn't a space in the toy aisles for the rest of the line. Star Trek & TMNT & horror movie figures end up here while G.I. Joe and Transformers sit with their kind a few aisles away. Also there are Sanrio crossover plushies, NECA figures for TMNT and Gargoyles and horror characters, sometimes the Godzilla toys, and of course the wall of Funko Pops (which is different from, but very similar to, the Hot Topic wall of Pops mentioned above). If you have ever liked a property and wanted to see it made into a physical commodity, there's a Funko Pop for that (okay, looks like ALF only had a Wacky Wobbler from Funko, but still...). 

The reason I focus on Pops is A. They're all over the place. They have an amazing amount of market penetration and there are still stores that exist primarily as Pop retailers. B. Because they work with so many other licenses, they're a good gauge of what's actually catching on--when a Pop is a shelf-warmer, it is a SHELF-WARMER. If people didn't want Ready Player One Pops, you knew. C. Points A and B have made Pops, whether you like them or not, a cornerstone of the general perception of "things nerds like." And it's one that overlaps with the others more than almost anything else--I'd contend that the GoodSmile Company has a pretty robust catalog too, but with a key difference.

Pops reflect a general audience--sure nerds/geeks/collectors/etc may like them, but they're also something a grandma might buy for you because it's cheap, it's of a thing you like, and your grandma's heard of a Pop before. But something like GoodSmile, be it Nendoroids or Figmas or other lines of figures/statues, are not as uniform and not as accessible, even if they have a lot of variety. They tend to be sought out by people who have that interest, rather than distributed to be easily findable for anyone and everyone. 

The other cornerstones that I think are often looked at in modern "nerd culture" understandings include the Disney Trifecta (Disney/Pixar, Marvel, and Star Wars--less the latter, but how many of us have heard someone refer to an animated movie as a Disney movie, or a superhero movie as a Marvel movie, when the Disney Company had no involvement whatsoever), Pokemon, Studio Ghibli, Stranger Things, Dungeons & Dragons, and in some cases where people find themselves incapable of separating their interests from the damage done by the brands' creators, Rick & Morty and Harry Potter. While I may not cater to those last two and don't personally really like Stranger Things, I certainly enjoy stuff from the rest. I even own a few Funko Pops. So, again, I'm not trying to say these things are inherently bad or markers of a false "nerd" or whatever. I'm saying that they're common and because of that, they are getting to be viewed in that default status, which can set a very strange standard which changes how we interact with stories because of the brandification of pop culture.   

A Ranger, a Warrior, and a Bard Walk Into a Bar...

The other part of why this is on my mind is that there's been a lot of conversation about Dungeons & Dragons recently. Most recently, they've reversed their position on becoming more restrictive of their open game license, and have committed to having D&D be under a form of creative commons license. And while I think that's the right decision, and am happy to have worked on a couple of D&D things in the past, I also found the conversation really interesting because I think in some ways, D&D has become an interchangeable term for some people with both tabletop role-playing and Fantasy in general. 

It makes sense, right? D&D's 5th edition is pretty popular as a game. It's got comics from IDW. There's an upcoming D&D movie. Plus, it's central to the premise of Stranger Things and is the game that like half of all podcasts play. This sort of brand rehabilitation--from the Satanic Panic era--has really built D&D into a powerhouse. Regardless of how many other tabletop RPGS there are, the controversy around the open game license inherently revolved around how many businesses and resources have been created specifically based off of and in interaction with D&D. 

And that's one of the kind of downsides to this, right? There is so much wrapped up in the understanding of what D&D is and what is and isn't allowed within it's framework. Beyond this one issue, Wizards of the Coast has been dealing with the ways in which the tropes of D&D have been harmful and how they can minimize some of that harm going forward. But because it has built into a "default" brand, it also means there's a lot of shorthand that comes to talking about setting up fantasy worlds that still uses some of the worse D&D tropes. Or, on the flip side, there are people pitching every property in the world as having a Fantasy version, but are specifically trying to get it tied to D&D for the name-recognition, regardless of whether or not what they actually would want to do with it works within that D&D framework.

Again, this is not me saying that I haven't had fun playing and working on D&D in my time. I have. It's more to say that sometimes I see conversations speculating how much fun it would be to put whatever franchise in a D&D world (often through the characters playing the game) that spends so much time figuring out the ways in which to incorporate those characters and their attributes into D&D, it kinda ignores that it isn't a story being pitched, or that it doesn't further the understandings of the characters at all. Which is fine in casual conversation, but I'm sure myself and other people in my type of roles have also had to have these types of conversations about the other "default" brands and the things that are made within their terms. The more the Marvel movie method becomes understood as superhero storytelling, the more complicated conversations about the nature of comics storytelling, particularly with first time and non-regular comics readers becomes, right? 

When the Default is Unsafe

That all gets us back to what I was talking about last week and my larger point about keeping an eye on these trends. Comixology became the default for digital comics retailer and now is going through being killed by their parent company and that's leaving an uncertain gap in the market, uncertainty in how digital comics will continue to be fostered and grow and become more accessible, and a lot of people out of jobs. Substack brings new people in for a number of reasons, but not the least of which is enough reputable people have taken to it that it's getting name recognition. 

Or, to look at it another way, I'm sure many of us unfortunately still use Twitter. Even with all the problems and the criminal owner, by virtue of being the default social media for years, it is where the majority of creators remain and their fans remain and our conversations as a community remain. And when we tried to diversify, it split too much. Not only did audiences not follow, it was hard to just find your friends and peers again. And that is unfortunate, but one of the considerations we make to keep in touch and the never-more-unified community together, even if we're all kinda still certain it'll all fall apart any day now. 

All of which is to say, I guess, be wary of what we look to as the default--in the larger pop culture landscape and the ways in which criticism of Marvel movies gets projected onto different types of storytelling or popularity is defined by Funkos or whatever to the styles you see other artists using and getting work with and the platforms we use to promote our work and engage with each other. Because while the default might be familiar, that doesn't mean it's the best representation of what could be. 

Next week: I dunno yet. We'll talk about something else.  

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game), House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (Book), 17-21 by Tatsuki Fujimoto (Manga), Nope (Movie), Black Adam (Movie--No doubt, it was kind of a mess, but I'm a sucker for the JSA, so it was nice seeing my friends, I guess), Persona 4 Golden (Video game), Poker Face (TV show), The Savior's Book Cafe Story in Another World (Manga), Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Anime), working on some wedding planning/registry stuff, bought a new mattress that should be here tomorrow (please buy stuff from Becca and me because we just spent a lot of money buying a new mattress). 

And for the sake of something fun, here's a roundup of the webcomics/comics I read digitally most weeks and when I read them: Nancy (daily), Gil Thorp (daily except Sundays), Lore Olympus (Sundays), Zatanna & the Ripper (Sundays), Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Sundays), Vixen: NYC (Sundays), Skullgirls (Sundays), Aeonian Red (Sundays), Alfie (Wednesdays & Fridays--ADULTS ONLY), The Rock Cocks (Mondays & Fridays--ADULTS ONLY), Blissverse (Mondays--ADULTS ONLY), 1.1.23 (As I catch updates), and then my Shonen Jump block: Chainsaw Man (Tuesdays), Jujutsu Kaisen (Sundays), My Hero Academia (Sundays), Witch Watch (Sundays), Fabricant 100 (Sundays), Spy x Famiy (Sundays), and One-Punch Man (Sundays), with other stuff that updates less frequently sort of thrown in whenever I remember.     

New Releases this week (1/25/2022): Godzilla Rivals: Round One TPB (Didn't work on this, but plugging Zilla)

New releases next week (2/1/2022): Off week for my books!

Final Order Cutoff (1/30/2023): Godzilla Rivals: Mothra vs. Titanosaurus (Editor)

Announcements: Arizona Comic Book Arts Festival - 2/25! Less than a month away! It's a one day comic-focused event in Phoenix, AZ. Tickets are only $10. Attending artists include me, Becca (who once again is dropping some new stuff on their Patreon, see below), Mitch Gerads, Steve Rude, John Layman, Henry Barajas, Jay Fotos, Jeff Mariotte, Marcy Rockwell, John Yurcaba, Andrew MacLean, Alexis Zirrit, Meredith McClaren, James Owen, Ryan Cody, and many more! Come and see us! Becca'll have some very cool new merch, too!

Becca contributed to Aradia Beat, a Magical Girl Anthology Magazine! It's now on Kickstarter! It's both a tribute to 90s magical girl stories and part of a larger project about the overall preservation and mutual support of magical girl stories!

Pic of the Week: Caught the cats looking really goofy! 

[the-firebird69]

This dan was kidnapped by BG. And these one trying to take over sokovia all the time and yes it's ghwb not the WB and he's talking to you warlock yeah that's right bugs Bunny. No sense of knowledge is analogies that the next easy and kill you with and having you do it and you look like idiots. So there's a fight going on it's not really Dan's but he found it because our son led him to it as many a huge hassle to him and that's the way it goes and he tried to take over our Harley-Davidson version.

Truth is he can't handle the competition of his own people but eventually war machine takes it over. And he was at the convenience store and said it quietly to them I said you don't even know who that is and you don't know who I am he said he's War machine in space and they all went uj oh. The kind of figured it out and started chuckling a little and it returns to earth and it gets taken from him and Dan loads it up with his father's buildings and is trying to use it to create the lightning plasma Canon and it works a little so everybody goes after the other ships of his and it's what our son said to do. And a son is a name too by the way and it's not pyromaniac okay usually they go out but really it's the lantern lighting festival and Sun had an idea to put a teeny light it's battery powered and it's very bright and people are using it and we sell them online at our Sim website and it does heat up from the light and the battery runs out in probably 10 minutes or 15 minutes and then don't catch on fire. But really this is a huge occasion this is Giant and it's going to happen shortly. And Garth is motivated because he's shot in New York City and it happens later yes he goes to town and the iron Man series begins and the avengers and he uses it but that's coming up with the next couple weeks and it's after their ostracized We Believe and that's coming out pretty quick it's going to start with the kids of Jason in Jersey and is going to start because of The sopranos and right here you see BG holding Dan hostage and it starts what happened to today at the gym in the laundromat in Port Charlotte and it's going to continue until he grabs her and then Dan gets shot twice

Thor Freya

I am handling my affairs and I'm teaching this guy Dan a lesson and some others but really if you focus on him you can see and he's paying for his crimes against me and my image and other and my family and clan and Hera and Olympus and you can see the first one he looks like the guy in the Harley-Davidson shack and he's been screwing around with it the whole time and he's annoying as hell and the name of the wife and then females and stuff like that and the second one he's in the leisure suit and a mob guy with sneakers on it and he's heavier heavy set and it's for a certain purpose and he's using it on me so he pays and he's going to pay the ultimate price and so is BG has been threatening me with a gun if you figure that one out phenomenal but really he polishes the guy off gets hit really bad really bad the first time as a meal color and it has something to do a meal color well it won't come out it has something to do with the plumbing company that was out in the California and supposedly the good guys and messing with me the whole time it's going to be ugly

The reason why PG is in trouble is because he shoots from behind and there is still someone in there Tony soprano

Zues

I should try and avoid that then and the answer is yes and I might be set up by Trump and the answer is possibly and it might be out of sequence in other words I may have hit him oh that's the wrong spot too so I guess that there could be a problem here hope you hit them first as amir colon and it's not me it could be something and I don't have a meat shop

Bg

Well you both did anyways Trump and BG but I see your point I know whose meat shopping is and I sort of get how you got access and I'm starting to see something it makes more sense that it's Trump and it's important

Tony s

It hasn't happened yet so you don't know who it is but he's right it's a stupid thing to do no so it's going to go ahead

Trump

So I guess it's you and you're going to pay for it and when he shoots him he's already gone I'm going to make you pay for what you're saying too and I don't know when this meat shop is I don't know what that would be about it'll be about you calling your son to a meat shop and for a cocaine trafficking which is what you guys do together and that's why it's trying to take your ship and stuff but it makes sense to me cuz I know the particulars

Tony s

It does have to do with lake Okeechobee and the pig thing and we think he does it after and he agrees

This is what it's like the meat shop is owned by Trump and we think he does that and to frame BG you can see them screwing around with a character but I'll tell you what this is some really dumb s*** you guys are doing it's going to ruin a lot of stuff and you don't think I care about it but you're going to go up there and you're going to hit Tony soprano he's inside of him no that's not Tony soprano it's somebody else and somebody already hit Tony soprano no not there so who's inside of Dan it's a mystery no. It's a Mac so they're both in trouble and we don't know who shoots them but he shot through the back and we're starting to see what we're saying

Mac

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #574

Top Ten Casting Suggestions for the New DCU

They're rebooting the DC Universe. Perhaps you’ve heard? What used to be known as the “DC Extended Universe” has had rather a rocky time of it in the cinema; this came as a bit of a surprise, really, as for decades it was DC who had the really successful, critically-adored comic book movies. Beginning – as we must – with Superman, and then Batman, and subsequent sequels and reboots – most notably the seismic Dark Knight trilogy – it was the older, classical comic book company that held sway at the global box office and in the hearts and minds of fans of the spectacular across the globe.

Things started to change, a bit slowly, from around the Millennium, after the success of first Blade and then X-Men – hits, for sure, popular films; but not quite the blow-the-doors-off cultural zeitgeist moments that exploded, like a distant planet, in the wake of Richard Donner and Tim Burton’s movies. But then Sam Raimi made Spider-Man, changing the tone, and shortly after came first X2 – the best movie about the X-Men that didn’t just feature Logan looking sad in the desert – and then the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And, yes, in between Christopher Nolan redefined what a superhero movie could look and feel like with the gritty, down-to-earth Dark Knight trilogy, the second of which becoming the first comic book adaptation to clear a billion dollars at the box office; but really that’s an aberration, because the story of the 21st century is all about Marvel.

It's weird, really, that it took DC so long to get its act together on the shared universe front, as all of the characters were right there under the umbrella of Warner Bros. Sure, there were hints - “this is why Superman works alone”, the multiple attempts to get first a World’s Finest and then a proper Justice League movie off the ground – but it was Marvel, the company that saved itself from bankruptcy by selling off its biggest characters to a bunch of different movie studios, who first managed to get crossover superhero movies working properly. The slow build-up of films released from 2008 to 2011 set the stage for 2012’s The Avengers, which just knocked everything and everyone over with the scale of its success. The future belonged to Marvel and the future was now.

Of course both DC and their parent company WB wanted some of that action. It just made total sense to create the Justice League cinematically; fans wanted to see Bruce and Clark and Diana all in one frame. And Warner Bros wanted a billion dollars three times a year.

What happened next is sad, really, because it involved a bunch of really talented people with the best intentions coming together and, well, making a few mistakes but also suffering from tragedy, rotten luck, and bad timing. Zack Snyder’s vision for a united DC universe has fans, of course – enough to persuade Warners to fork out millions of dollars for him to “finish” his Justice League years after he had to walk away – but it’s probably fair to say that most people didn’t really gibe with his view of these beloved characters. Man of Steel presented a grounded, grumpy Superman, which was kinda cool in some respects, but the scale of its destruction and its climactic scenes of death turned off a lot of people. Snyder doubled-down on the misery with the bombastic tragedy of Dawn of Justice, before everything just went horrible both behind and in front of the camera in Justice League. Spin-off movies ranged from the bad to the mediocre – apart from Wonder Woman, which everyone liked – and really only succeeded when they stepped away from notions of a shared continuity and just did their own bonkers thing (Aquaman, Birds of Prey, The Suicide Squad). And all the while there was this dreadful din of backroom shenanigans and bad blood that – outside of claims of racism and mistreatment – probably reached its creative nadir with the decision to burn entire films as tax write-offs.

So yes, of course the universe needed a bit of a spring clean. And now James Gunn and Peter Safran – steady, capable hands who really know what they’re doing and have made some of the best superhero films of the last decade – are in charge. And it’s sad that we’ve lost Henry Cavill, an actor who could have been a great Superman if he’d ever really been given a chance – and possibly even sadder that Ezra Miller might still get to be the Flash despite, well, everything. But the view of this new universe looks like hewing a lot closer to the optimistic, moralistic fable of the DC Universe that I grew up reading. James Gunn keeps referencing Grant Morrison. That is a very good thing. At least one of the newly-announced films seems to be actively adapting a Morrison comic. He thinks Superman should be kind! The fact that that’s a sigh of relief is ridiculous, because that’s literally the first thing Superman should always be, but that’s where we were. Yeesh.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah. I was gonna do Gunn’s job for him by suggesting actors to cast in the new DCU. I've done this before! Back when we knew we were, finally, getting a shared DC movie universe in the first place, I made some suggestions. That list wasn’t very interesting, but hopefully this one will be.

And that’s it! Here are ten actors to play characters in the newly-minted DCU. Do please enjoy!

Boyd Holbrook as Batman: I think people are making some assumptions regarding the new DCU Batman that won’t really pan out. What do we know about the character? We know he’s old enough to have fathered a child who’s now – presumably – 10-12 years old. We know, according to James Gunn, that he’s likely to be “a few years older” than a Superman who has “been around a couple of years” and “is not in his forties”. This all, to me, suggests they’re not looking to cast a guy in his fifties. After all, Bruce is usually depicted as having started his costumed career in his early twenties, so even a 40-year-old Batman could have been jumping off rooftops for a good fifteen years. And so, after much deliberation, I present to you Boyd Holbrook, a good-looking and more than capable actor who can easily put across a brooding sense of menace, who looks tough but scrappy in a Daniel Craig mould; a broadsword with a brain, a henchman with a heart. Assuming The Brave and the Bold is released in 2026, he’ll be 44, the same age Ben Affleck was when Dawn of Justice came out (so, if anything, he might be a touch on the old side!). But, hey, maybe Holbrook can persuade regular collaborator James Mangold to direct the movie, because holy perfect helmsman, a James Mangold Batman movie would be a sight to see, I mean a sight to see.

Austin Butler as Superman: okay, I'll confess straight up: I've still not seen Elvis. But Butler is good in his small role in Hollywood, and the fact that he’s just won a BAFTA and is up for an Oscar suggests that he’s got the chops. And he really does look the part. He's pretty tall, he looks good with dark hair, and technically Clark Kent is from the South so he’s got the accent. I’d wager he needs to build his frame up a bit, but what you’ve got here is a good actor, the right age, the right look, with experience already of playing one of the 20th Century’s biggest pop culture icons. And maybe we can get Perry White to say “Great shades of Elvis”.

Cush Jumbo as Lois Lane: my idealised version of Lois Lane is essentially Jennifer Jason Leigh in The Hudsucker Proxy; a really tough, incredibly fast-talking woman who’s whip-smart and fearless and stands up to men in power. I always imagine scenes in the Daily Planet newsroom as playing out as a screwball comedy written by Aaron Sorkin. So we need someone with experience delivering dense dialogue at a fast pace in a confident fashion, someone used to wrestling knotty topics with a sense of humour. Jumbo excels at that in The Good Wife/Fight. I think she’d be good stood next to/arguing with Austin Butler. And I’d love to see her leading a massive blockbuster, quite frankly. And whilst we’re filling out the Daily Planet offices, let’s have Tom Hanks channelling Ben Bradlee as Perry, and Stranger Things’ Gaten Matarazzo as Jimmy.

Jamie Foxx as Lex Luthor: I'm sticking with Superman Legacy again just to recommend a new Lex. Foxx has a really strong, solid sense of charisma that he could bring to Luthor; enough to make him seem like what he often is, the anti-Clark Kent. You need someone who can do something different to the pantomime villainy of Gene Hackman and the techbro arseholery of Jesse Eisenberg. Foxx would be likeable and funny, but also intense and genuinely threatening. Think of how he played Electro in No Way Home – basically a different, sexier, more confident character than the sadsack of Amazing Spider-Man 2. Not sure if he’d be happy being bald, though; he even had hair as Daddy Warbucks.

Jonathan Groff as Apollo: Groff is a tall, built, good-looking dude who is absolutely superhero material. He can sing and dance, and Mindhunter shows how not only his range but also how he can handle incredibly dark, disturbing material. All this combines to make him a terrific fit for a character who is, in many ways, an analogy for Superman himself, but in a team and a story that hews much darker. And I’ll be completely frank: it’d be nice what’s arguably the first gay lead character of a huge superhero movie actually played by a gay actor. But who to be his gruff, cynical, Batman-esque boyfriend Midnighter? Personally I’d quite fancy Gerard Butler.

Stephanie Beatriz as Catwoman: this might be a bit of a cheat as – technically – we don’t know if Catwoman is actually going to crop up in one of the first lot of films or shows (if it’s not apparent, these characters are otherwise all from the announced productions). But let’s face it, if there’s a Batman there has to be a Catwoman too. And whilst she’s most recently been a beaming Disney Princess, making categorically sure we did not talk about Bruno, Beatriz also has a penchant for steely-faced badassery with her role on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I think Selina Kyle would split the difference; she needs to be funnier and chattier than Rosa Diaz, but I think a good twist for the character – something we’ve not really seen in other film portrayals – would be to emphasise the street-smart, rough and tumble aspects of her character, a woman who grew up poor in the slums of Gotham. I think the edge she gave Diaz would be a cool trait to apply to Catwoman. And whilst she looks about ten years younger, she is basically the same age as Boyd Holbrook.

William Jackson Harper as John Stewart: in another universe Harper would be the perfect Clark Kent. He’s got very, very strong Clark vibes in The Good Place. Whilst he’s probably more famous for playing slightly more nebbish and introverted characters – including in his small role in Quantumania – he’s got the frame to handle a bit of action, too. And John Stewart would be a great fit, because whilst he often seems to be portrayed more as a military man in this day and age, when he was introduced in the comics he was actually an architect. I think Harper would thread that needle expertly, and I think his demeanour would be great when put up against a brash, bombastic, Maverick-esque Hal Jordan in the Lanterns series. Speaking of Jordan, who could play him? Chris Pratt would have been good, but maybe that’s too similar to Peter Quill. I dunno. Bradley Cooper?

Elizabeth Debicki as one of the Amazons: this might be a bit of a cheat as I’ve not listed an actual character, and if I’m honest it’s actually bleeding through from one of my tiny peeves about The Rings of Power on Amazon; that Morfydd Clark – great as she is – is too short to play Galadriel, whereas Debicki is about six-three. Anyway, I’d quite like to see her take on a really cool, strong action role, and the presumed political intrigue in this series would be a good fit too, allowing her to stretch her acting muscles as well as her, er, muscle-muscles. I’ve no idea what this show will end up being like or about, but as, say, a more junior Amazon investigating some conspiracy or the other on Themiscyra, she’d be terrific. And she’s already got the James Gunn connection in Guardians. And then she could wind up somewhere in the present-day timeline. Oh, I dunno, call her “Troia” and make her Donna Troy’s mum or something; she ends the series fleeing Themiscyra, coming to “Man’s World”, and centuries later having a child who inherits some of her powers and, Bob’s your aunt, there’s Wonder Girl. Look, that’s legitimately 2000% more sensible than her actual comic book origin, okay?

Daniel Radcliffe as Swamp Thing: there are three main things going for Radcliffe here in my opinion. Number one, he’s instantly convincing as a frazzled genius scientist; no one would doubt his ability to carry off the Alec Holland part of the character. He can even do an American accent if that’s what they want. But then we all know from his theatre work and his performances in films like Swiss Army Man that he’s incredibly versatile; I can picture him now, channelling his inner plant in a mocap suit to play Swamp Thing. And finally there’s the fact that, huge star as he obviously is, he’s mostly shunned mainstream blockbusters, certainly never having anchored one since Potter. I think he’s one of the few A-List actors who’d gladly spend the majority of a film unrecognisable as a giant talking heap of moss and leaves. And he’d probably be up for the weird sex scene in that one issue too.

Leslie Grace as Batgirl: to be honest I’m torn about this one but I wanted to get her in there. See, I think Grace was really, really done dirty by what happened with the cancellation of Batgirl. I want to see her given her dues and have a shot at that role. But if I’m honest, the way The Brave and the Bold is panning out, I’d actually like it to have something approaching what I consider the platonic ideal of the Bat-Family: that is to say, Batman, Robin, Nightwing, Oracle, and Batgirl. Which means Barbera Gordon has to be in a wheelchair, and in that case I think I’d rather go with someone slightly older and maybe with an identifiable edge or flintiness to them (although to be fair, I’ve not really seen Grace in anything, so maybe she could totally pull that off). How about we split the difference, and introduce Grace as a more “realistic” version of Batgirl, playing Jeffrey Wright’s daughter on The Batman 2? As for the rest of the Bat-Fam, I’d go for Joe Keery as Nightwing, Richard E. Grant as Alfred, and let’s say Russell Crowe for Gordon. If Grace was Oracle not Batgirl, I’d recommend having Cassandra Cain, but I’m not sure the girl from Birds of Prey could play this version of Cassandra, so you’d probably have to recast. And I’ve no Earthly idea who could play Damian Wayne.

Phew! That was hard. I spent a long time whittling this list down and sadly a few people fell off the bottom end (including Zac Efron and Justice Smith as Booster Gold and Ted Kord). I could probably have done separate Top Tens on possible Batman and Superman actors. And then there were tons of characters not included in the announced films and shows – Jason Blood, Zatanna, Poison Ivy, Raven, Professor Pyg, Clayface, Animal Man, Knight and Squire – that I diligently fan-cast. And I’m still annoyed at myself about not being sufficiently well-versed in Central Asian cinema, or knowing enough Asian actresses, because I’d have loved to suggest someone to play Talia al Ghul – almost certain to crop up in The Brave and the Bold – but just as I feel the new Bane actor should be Hispanic, I think whoever plays Ra’s and his daughter should probably be of Middle Eastern descent, as that’s where the character is supposed to be living and – arguably, as his origin is a bit vague – from in the first place. Having a Japanese guy playing a Tibetan guy as a stooge for an Irish guy with a daughter who’s a French woman probably won’t cut it anymore.

Anyway, James, Peter, if you’re listening – you could do worse than this lot.

[cyborg-franky]

FRANKY! I have a mighty need if you're willing. ;o; I was thinking of headcanons and I really wanted to have some of Whitebeard Pirates and a reader dancing somehow!! Can be anything, in the rain, randomly joining reader, or bringing the reader out to dance floor...just thinking about how Whitebeard Pirates would dance with you. If you'd write this for me, I'd love it very much, please and thank you!!! *★,°*:.☆(￣▽￣)/$:*.°★* 。

Oh no why is this so cute? I had a think about it and I think I got good ideas for the WB for these headcannons, I hope you like <3

Ace - He isn't much of a dancer, he isn't against it he just hasn't had much experiences or opportunities. - It was at a local tavern where a band was playing that you set your sights on the freckled man. - "Dance?" You asked as you swayed your hips, his eyes snapped to the movement, staring at you before he managed to pull his eyes to meet yours. - "I don't really... know?" He said with a chuckle and rubbed his arm nervously. - "Me either, come on freckles" You said and took his hands in yours, tugging him to his feet, pulling him close to your body. - Okay so Ace didn't mind this part, he seemed to get into the swing of things, seeing how you moved. - You put his hands on your hips and grinned at him. - After awhile Ace was smiling, laughing and didn't care how bad he was, he was having the time of his life with you.

Izou - Sitting with him in his room, you read a book while he cleaned his guns, jasmine tea on the table. - Your eyes flickered from his task to around his room, seeing various things, decorations, the fans he had neatly placed up. - "Your from Wano right? what traditions do you miss the most?" You asked which caught the sharp shooter off guard. - "What do I miss?" He said setting his gun on the table, painted lips pursed in thought "Traditional dancing, me and my sister used to do it together" - "If you miss it so much, you could.. teach me?" You offered sipping your tea. - It doesn't take long for Izou to get you a set of fans, standing in his room as he moved with such elegance and grace. - You were captivated, forgetting everything he had just said, he cleared his throat when he noticed you hadn't moved. - Apologizing you made your steps. - That night you learned something about the mans culture, grew closer.

Marco - "I've never seen you dance Marco" You commented as you watched the crew dance, abet drunk and badly. "Is it because you can't get drunk?" - Marco blinked at your comment and chuckled. "I don't dance yoi" - "But why?" You asked as you sipped on your beer waiting for your partner to respond. - "I don't dance with just anyone" his tone was soft as he gave you his usual lop sided grin. - He didn't tell you that night, it was weeks before you found out why he didn't dance with just anyone. - You sat in the crows nest keeping watch, feeling your eyes start to flutter closed, you didn't hear Marco land on the edge. - "Wakey wakey chick" He hummed and you almost fell backwards in shock. "Marco, the fuck?" - You couldn't be mad at the zoan, his light airy chuckle, the way he looked with his brilliant beautiful blue wings aflame, the golden tail fanning out behind him, how the stars looked behind him. - "You still want to see me dance yoi?" He asked with a grin. - You were confused at first but nodded your head, excitement overtook you as you stood back up. - One of his wings turned into a human hand, reaching out for you, peering over the edge you weren't sure, you trusted him though, with your life. - You allowed him to pull you along the sail, his talons gripping the wood which the fabric hung from, leading you along it. - The pair of you stood so far up in the air, the moon bright in the sky surrounded by stars. It felt like another world up there. - With sharp harpy feet keeping you perched he brought you to his body with his human arm, just gently swaying you both, it was hardly a dance but it was nice. His beautiful tail shimmered in the night around you both. - His tail, his flames, they all danced for you, a display like you'd never seen. He leaned in close, his breath against your ear "Birds only dance for those they are interested in yoi" - You pulled away, staring up at the smirking face and half lidded eyes "Your such a birdbrain" You sighed and the doctor chuckled.

Thatch - You weren't much of a dancer, you were happy to sit on the sidelines while your crewmates all celebrated. - A bunch of the others had all gotten their instruments out, all starting to play. - The atmosphere was lively, people singing, clapping, dancing. - You sat there and bounced your knee in time with the music. - Thatch however, was dancing, having such fun, the bright smile on the chefs face as he linked arms with Ace and spun the poor boy around. - He then noticed you, sitting there with a drink and just absorbing the atmosphere. - "Come on darlin'!" He offered you his hand, wriggling his fingers. - "Thatch, I don't.. I can't dance" You said with a laugh. - "Always time to learn pumpkin!" He grabbed your hands, pulling you onto the floor, your friends clapping and whistling as you were twirled in his arms, pulled closer to his broad chest and dipped dramatically. - "Don't worry I'm good enough at dancing for us both" He said with a wink.

Vista - The man is drama and flourish. - You knew he would be the best person to go to about learning how to dance. - You wanted to be able to join in when the crew celebrated. - He had laughed, a good natured roar as he nodded his head "I can do that, you'll have to pay attention, dancing is an art just like sword fighting" - You didn't think much of his words until the first lesson. - He was strong, his hands firmly around your waist and a hand taking yours "This doesn't seem how everyone else dances.." - "That's because my dear this is real dancing!" He grinned at you as he started to explain the steps. - You listened to him, he was good at explaining things, showed you the steps, didn't mind or even notice when you stepped on his feet. - You and Vista always stole the stage when you danced together.

Whitebeard - He recalled a time from when he was younger, stopping by a small island. - His crew at the time liked to stop over here between bigger hits. - The night he docked, he didn't care how late it was, he knocked on your door. - "Edward?" You mumbled voice weak, eyes half lidded from sleep. - "You said as soon as I came back you wanted that dance" He laughed, loud and boisterous, a wonderful sound you'd missed. - "Now?" He nodded, you glanced down at your night clothes, knowing you had messy hair, your mouth opened to protest "You look wonderful" was all he said, he lifted you up into his arms. - The night was chilly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, your hands playing with the long blond hair that flowed down his back, a smile on your lips. - Moonlight shone down on you both, there was a mist in the air, a light rain had followed him. - You closed your eyes as he swayed you both, it wasn't so much dancing but it was soft, intimate, you loved him. - He watched as his crew enjoyed themselves, smiling as he remembered that precious moment.

TAG LIST: @acesmarigold @sanjithesimp @slut4animedilfs @undercoverweeeb @fire-fist-ann @rivvd-art @angeltani @mimi-ya @simp4ace @aifozu @useless-potatho @iloveportgasdace @strawhat-bast @dxvilmanlev @saisei-no-hano @rae-vynn @childofblackmaria @rosiinante

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The Rise & Fall of Joss Whedon; the Myth of the Hollywood Feminist Hero

By Kelly Faircloth

“I hate ‘feminist.’ Is this a good time to bring that up?” Joss Whedon asked. He paused knowingly, waiting for the laughs he knew would come at the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer making such a statement.

It was 2013, and Whedon was onstage at a fundraiser for Equality Now, a human rights organization dedicated to legal equality for women. Though Buffy had been off the air for more than a decade, its legacy still loomed large; Whedon was widely respected as a man with a predilection for making science fiction with strong women for protagonists. Whedon went on to outline why, precisely, he hated the term: “You can’t be born an ‘ist,’” he argued, therefore, “‘feminist’ includes the idea that believing men and women to be equal, believing all people to be people, is not a natural state, that we don’t emerge assuming that everybody in the human race is a human, that the idea of equality is just an idea that’s imposed on us.”

The speech was widely praised and helped cement his pop-cultural reputation as a feminist, in an era that was very keen on celebrity feminists. But it was also, in retrospect, perhaps the high water mark for Whedon’s ability to claim the title, and now, almost a decade later, that reputation is finally in tatters, prompting a reevaluation of not just Whedon’s work, but the narrative he sold about himself. 

In July 2020, actor Ray Fisher accused Whedon of being “gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable” on the Justice League set when Whedon took over for Zach Synder as director to finish the project. Charisma Carpenter then described her own experiences with Whedon in a long post to Twitter, hashtagged #IStandWithRayFisher.

On Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, Carpenter played Cordelia, a popular character who morphed from snob to hero—one of those strong female characters that made Whedon’s feminist reputation—before being unceremoniously written off the show in a plot that saw her thrust into a coma after getting pregnant with a demon. For years, fans have suspected that her disappearance was related to her real-life pregnancy. In her statement, Carpenter appeared to confirm the rumors. “Joss Whedon abused his power on numerous occasions while working on the sets of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and ‘Angel,’” she wrote, describing Fisher’s firing as the last straw that inspired her to go public.

Buffy was a landmark of late 1990s popular culture, beloved by many a burgeoning feminist, grad student, gender studies professor, and television critic for the heroine at the heart of the show, the beautiful blonde girl who balanced monster-killing with high school homework alongside ancillary characters like the shy, geeky Willow. Buffy was very nearly one of a kind, an icon of her era who spawned a generation of leather-pants-wearing urban fantasy badasses and women action heroes.

Buffy was so beloved, in fact, that she earned Whedon a similarly privileged place in fans’ hearts and a broader reputation as a man who championed empowered women characters. In the desert of late ’90s and early 2000s popular culture, Whedon was heralded as that rarest of birds—the feminist Hollywood man. For many, he was an example of what more equitable storytelling might look like, a model for how to create compelling women protagonists who were also very, very fun to watch. But Carpenter’s accusations appear to have finally imploded that particular bit of branding, revealing a different reality behind the scenes and prompting a reevaluation of the entire arc of Whedon’s career: who he was and what he was selling all along.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer premiered March 1997, midseason, on The WB, a two-year-old network targeting teens with shows like 7th Heaven. Its beginnings were not necessarily auspicious; it was a reboot of a not-particularly-blockbuster 1992 movie written by third-generation screenwriter Joss Whedon. (His grandfather wrote for The Donna Reed Show; his father wrote for Golden Girls.) The show followed the trials of a stereotypical teenage California girl who moved to a new town and a new school after her parents’ divorce—only, in a deliberate inversion of horror tropes, the entire town sat on top of the entrance to Hell and hence was overrun with demons. Buffy was a slayer, a young woman with the power and immense responsibility to fight them. After the movie turned out very differently than Whedon had originally envisioned, the show was a chance for a do-over, more of a Valley girl comedy than serious horror.

It was layered, it was campy, it was ironic and self-aware. It looked like it belonged on the WB rather than one of the bigger broadcast networks, unlike the slickly produced prestige TV that would follow a few years later. Buffy didn’t fixate on the gory glory of killing vampires—really, the monsters were metaphors for the entire experience of adolescence, in all its complicated misery. Almost immediately, a broad cross-section of viewers responded enthusiastically. Critics loved it, and it would be hugely influential on Whedon’s colleagues in television; many argue that it broke ground in terms of what you could do with a television show in terms of serialized storytelling, setting the stage for the modern TV era. Academics took it up, with the show attracting a tremendous amount of attention and discussion.

In 2002, the New York Times covered the first academic conference dedicated to the show. The organizer called Buffy “a tremendously rich text,” hence the flood of papers with titles like “Pain as Bright as Steel: The Monomyth and Light in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer,’” which only gathered speed as the years passed. And while it was never the highest-rated show on television, it attracted an ardent core of fans.

But what stood out the most was the show’s protagonist: a young woman who stereotypically would have been a monster movie victim, with the script flipped: instead of screaming and swooning, she staked the vampires. This was deliberate, the core conceit of the concept, as Whedon said in many, many interviews. The helpless horror movie girl killed in the dark alley instead walks out victorious. He told Time in 1997 that the concept was born from the thought, “I would love to see a movie in which a blond wanders into a dark alley, takes care of herself and deploys her powers.” In Whedon’s framing, it was particularly important that it was a woman who walked out of that alley. He told another publication in 2002 that “the very first mission statement of the show” was “the joy of female power: having it, using it, sharing it.”

In 2021, when seemingly every new streaming property with a woman as its central character makes some half-baked claim to feminism, it’s easy to forget just how much Buffy stood out among its against its contemporaries. Action movies—with exceptions like Alien’s Ripley and Terminator 2's Sarah Conner—were ruled by hulking tough guys with macho swagger. When women appeared on screen opposite vampires, their primary job was to expose long, lovely, vulnerable necks. Stories and characters that bucked these larger currents inspired intense devotion, from Angela Chase of My So-Called Life to Dana Scully of The X-Files.

The broader landscape, too, was dismal. It was the conflicted era of girl power, a concept that sprang up in the wake of the successes of the second-wave feminist movement and the backlash that followed. Young women were constantly exposed to you-can-do-it messaging that juxtaposed uneasily with the reality of the world around them. This was the era of shitty, sexist jokes about every woman who came into Bill Clinton’s orbit and the leering response to the arrival of Britney Spears; Rush Limbaugh was a fairly mainstream figure.

At one point, Buffy competed against Ally McBeal, a show that dedicated an entire episode to a dancing computer-generated baby following around its lawyer main character, her biological clock made zanily literal. Consider this line from a New York Times review of the Buffy’s 1997 premiere: “Given to hot pants and boots that should guarantee the close attention of Humbert Humberts all over America, Buffy is just your average teen-ager, poutily obsessed with clothes and boys.”

Against that background, Buffy was a landmark. Besides the simple fact of its woman protagonist, there were unique plots, like the coming-out story for her friend Willow. An ambivalent 1999 piece in Bitch magazine, even as it explored the show’s tank-top heavy marketing, ultimately concluded, “In the end, it’s precisely this contextual conflict that sets Buffy apart from the rest and makes her an appealing icon. Frustrating as her contradictions may be, annoying as her babe quotient may be, Buffy still offers up a prime-time heroine like no other.”

A 2016 Atlantic piece, adapted from a book excerpt, makes the case that Buffy is perhaps best understood as an icon of third-wave feminism: “In its examination of individual and collective empowerment, its ambiguous politics of racial representation and its willing embrace of contradiction, Buffy is a quintessentially third-wave cultural production.” The show was vested with all the era’s longing for something better than what was available, something different, a champion for a conflicted “post-feminist” era—even if she was an imperfect or somewhat incongruous vessel. It wasn’t just Sunnydale that needed a chosen Slayer, it was an entire generation of women. That fact became intricately intertwined with Whedon himself.

Seemingly every interview involved a discussion of his fondness for stories about strong women. “I’ve always found strong women interesting, because they are not overly represented in the cinema,” he told New York for a 1997 piece that notes he studied both film and “gender and feminist issues” at Wesleyan; “I seem to be the guy for strong action women,’’ he told the New York Times in 1997 with an aw-shucks sort of shrug. ‘’A lot of writers are just terrible when it comes to writing female characters. They forget that they are people.’’ He often cited the influence of his strong, “hardcore feminist” mother, and even suggested that his protagonists served feminist ends in and of themselves: “If I can make teenage boys comfortable with a girl who takes charge of a situation without their knowing that’s what’s happening, it’s better than sitting down and selling them on feminism,” he told Time in 1997.

When he was honored by the organization Equality Now in 2006 for his “outstanding contribution to equality in film and television,” Whedon made his speech an extended riff on the fact that people just kept asking him about it, concluding with the ultimate answer: “Because you’re still asking me that question.” He presented strong women as a simple no-brainer, and he was seemingly always happy to say so, at a time when the entertainment business still seemed ruled by unapologetic misogynists. The internet of the mid-2010s only intensified Whedon’s anointment as a prototypical Hollywood ally, with reporters asking him things like how men could best support the feminist movement. 

Whedon’s response: “A guy who goes around saying ‘I’m a feminist’ usually has an agenda that is not feminist. A guy who behaves like one, who actually becomes involved in the movement, generally speaking, you can trust that. And it doesn’t just apply to the action that is activist. It applies to the way they treat the women they work with and they live with and they see on the street.” This remark takes on a great deal of irony in light of Carpenter’s statement.

In recent years, Whedon’s reputation as an ally began to wane. Partly, it was because of the work itself, which revealed more and more cracks as Buffy receded in the rearview mirror. Maybe it all started to sour with Dollhouse, a TV show that imagined Eliza Dushku as a young woman rented out to the rich and powerful, her mind wiped after every assignment, a concept that sat poorly with fans. (Though Whedon, while he was publicly unhappy with how the show had turned out after much push-and-pull with the corporate bosses at Fox, still argued the conceit was “the most pure feminist and empowering statement I’d ever made—somebody building themselves from nothing,” in a 2012 interview with Wired.)

After years of loud disappointment with the TV bosses at Fox on Firefly and Dollhouse, Whedon moved into big-budget Hollywood blockbusters. He helped birth the Marvel-dominated era of movies with his work as director of The Avengers. But his second Avengers movie, Age of Ultron, was heavily criticized for a moment in which Black Widow laid out her personal reproductive history for the Hulk, suggesting her sterilization somehow made her a “monster.” In June 2017, his un-filmed script for a Wonder Woman adaptation leaked, to widespread mockery. The script’s introduction of Diana was almost leering: “To say she is beautiful is almost to miss the point. She is elemental, as natural and wild as the luminous flora surrounding. Her dark hair waterfalls to her shoulders in soft arcs and curls. Her body is curvaceous, but taut as a drawn bow.”

But Whedon’s real fall from grace began in 2017, right before MeToo spurred a cultural reckoning. His ex-wife, Kai Cole, published a piece in The Wrap accusing him of cheating off and on throughout their relationship and calling him a hypocrite:

“Despite understanding, on some level, that what he was doing was wrong, he never conceded the hypocrisy of being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away my right to make choices for my life and my body based on the truth. He deceived me for 15 years, so he could have everything he wanted. I believed, everyone believed, that he was one of the good guys, committed to fighting for women’s rights, committed to our marriage, and to the women he worked with. But I now see how he used his relationship with me as a shield, both during and after our marriage, so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.”

But his reputation was just too strong; the accusation that he didn’t practice what he preached didn’t quite stick. A spokesperson for Whedon told the Wrap: “While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife. Many minimized the essay on the basis that adultery doesn’t necessarily make you a bad feminist or erase a legacy. Whedon similarly seemed to shrug off Ray Fisher’s accusations of creating a toxic workplace; instead, Warner Media fired Fisher.

But Carpenter’s statement—which struck right at the heart of his Buffy-based legacy for progressivism—may finally change things. Even at the time, the plotline in which Charisma Carpenter was written off Angel—carrying a demon child that turned her into “Evil Cordelia,” ending the season in a coma, and quite simply never reappearing—was unpopular. Asked about what had happened in a 2009 panel at DragonCon, she said that “my relationship with Joss became strained,” continuing: “We all go through our stuff in general [behind the scenes], and I was going through my stuff, and then I became pregnant. And I guess in his mind, he had a different way of seeing the season go… in the fourth season.”

“I think Joss was, honestly, mad. I think he was mad at me and I say that in a loving way, which is—it’s a very complicated dynamic working for somebody for so many years, and expectations, and also being on a show for eight years, you gotta live your life. And sometimes living your life gets in the way of maybe the creator’s vision for the future. And that becomes conflict, and that was my experience.”

In her statement on Twitter, Carpenter alleged that after Whedon was informed of her pregnancy, he called her into a closed-door meeting and “asked me if I was ‘going to keep it,’ and manipulatively weaponized my womanhood and faith against me.” She added that “he proceeded to attack my character, mock my religious beliefs, accuse me of sabotaging the show, and then unceremoniously fired me following the season once I gave birth.” Carpenter said that he called her fat while she was four months pregnant and scheduled her to work at 1 a.m. while six months pregnant after her doctor had recommended shortening her hours, a move she describes as retaliatory. What Carpenter describes, in other words, is an absolutely textbook case of pregnancy discrimination in the workplace, the type of bullshit the feminist movement exists to fight—at the hands of the man who was for years lauded as a Hollywood feminist for his work on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.

Many of Carpenter’s colleagues from Buffy and Angel spoke out in support, including Buffy herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar. “While I am proud to have my name associated with Buffy Summers, I don’t want to be forever associated with the name Joss Whedon,” she said in a statement. Just shy of a decade after that 2013 speech, many of the cast members on the show that put him on that stage are cutting ties.

Whedon garnered a reputation as pop culture’s ultimate feminist man because Buffy did stand out so much, an oasis in a wasteland. But in 2021, the idea of a lone man being responsible for creating women’s stories—one who told the New York Times, “I seem to be the guy for strong action women”—seems like a relic. It’s depressing to consider how many years Hollywood’s first instinct for “strong action women” wasn’t a woman, and to think about what other people could have done with those resources. When Wonder Woman finally reached the screen, to great acclaim, it was with a woman as director.

Besides, Whedon didn’t make Buffy all by himself—many, many women contributed, from the actresses to the writers to the stunt workers, and his reputation grew so large it eclipsed their part in the show’s creation. Even as he preached feminism, Whedon benefitted from one of the oldest, most sexist stereotypes: the man who’s a benevolent, creative genius. And Buffy, too, overshadowed all the other contributors who redefined who could be a hero on television and in speculative fiction, from individual actors like Gillian Anderson to the determined, creative women who wrote science fiction and fantasy over the last several decades to—perhaps most of all—the fans who craved different, better stories. Buffy helped change what you could put on TV, but it didn’t create the desire to see a character like her. It was that desire, as much as Whedon himself, that gave Buffy the Vampire Slayer her power.