#conventionality is honestly

[lymooniee]

It really is sad seeing how masculinity is shamed for when it comes to being nonbinary or within the queer community. Like I saw a twitter post about someone who was shaming another nonbinary person because they are masculine and are really fit, yet because they weren't feminine or androgynous enough and leaned more masculine that led to people attacking them. It's like-- nonbinary people don't have to appear any certain way for you?? That isn't the point of being nonbinary, like at all. AMAB nonbinary people who wish to be masculine presenting exist and same for AFAB nonbinary people who want to present themselves as masculine also exist. Let people be, their gender or how they identify themselves doesn't align with how they look. Let them present themselves however they would like too.

[saltsig]

Herlock doodles, trying to figure out how I want to draw him♡

[halfdeadwallfly]

hi!!!! thank you @summercampghostie @im-the-son-of-rage-and-lov3 and @biromanticboba for the tag! i'm making a new thread so i could respond to everyone at once. i love this picrew so it was really fun to do again with the changes in my look hehe

it's supposed to be what you look like vs what you would want to look like, but if i'm being completely honest, i've just been really happy with how i look lately so i only did that version :))))

EDITING TO ADD THE LINK LMAO HERE YOU GO

np tags 🪄 @spectral-mycoblin @starry-eyed-darling @trips-around-the-sun @mack-anthology-mp3 and ofc anyone else who wants to join!! love you all <3

[a1exkra1ie]

I love what Washington and Locus see in each other... How frustrating Wash is to Locus because he sees someone like him, who could've been a perfect soldier but has been weakened by actually allowing himself to form ties with other soldiers. But at the same time... He sees a nobility in that that he doesn't have, and chooses to try to kill Wash instead or admitting that maybe he'd like something like that for himself... (He thinks, if he could get Wash to partner up with him instead of Felix, he would. But that's never going to happen.)

And Wash sees what he could've been, a heartless mercenary too concerned with orders to see things for himself, where money is not so much an incentive as just a bonus for being able to remain a soldier. Because those who knew war will always know war. And Wash was content to follow orders before, we've seen it, and it's only once he lost the chain of command he was under and had to learn leadership for himself beyond just being more competent than the others (his entire arc within seasons 10-13 is about that) that he could start truly freeing himself from it. And seeing a reflection of the path he was on just makes him cocky. Wash isn't humble. He wants to prove how much better he is. And that feeds into their dynamic even more

[uncanny-tranny]

With how dangerous binding and tucking can be, it's wild to me that in so many ways, the onus of having your basic humanity respected often hinges on ensuring that you do whatever you can to minimize your body. And it's extra wild when you're told how nobody will respect you, but I have had plenty of interactions with (just to name a couple of examples) men who don't bind and women who don't pack, and it's actually so easy to engage with them without laser-focusing on their body.

I was always told that respect hinges on earning it - a trans person earns respect (see: people almost begrudgingly seeing and/or affirming who they are) when we prove ourselves. As a kid, I didn't have the financial or familial support to bind, so I used bandages. Like, I remember leaving class to take them off because I was in so much pain, and it just makes me think that there is a whole lot of difference between the workloads of trans people and certain others. I don't think putting my body in physical risk like that is the same mental and physical workload as... using a name, using pronouns, seeing the person and who they are.

[nny11writes]

I got a long ass analysis or whatever on how Shadow Weaver is nuanced and underappreciated that I lost the thread on multiple times. Don't even know it this'll fit in a tumblr post but below the cut if it does.

Shadow Weaver’s story is about many things, but I think the one most often misunderstood is her addiction. A lot of fandom recognizes that she has an addiction, but not what that actually means, not what that entails. Weaver is one of the show’s antagonists, no bones about that, but she is also a complex, nuanced, morally grey character and people tend to forget that to the disservice of her as a character.

I’m tired of that, so let’s get into this.

First off, Light Spinner was not an abuser or horrible person, I’m sorry y’all I think she was probably in her early to mid-20’s, a social idiot, and felt like Micah’s older sister. I think she was too young and inexperienced for the position she held at Mystacor, but that she could’ve grown into it beautifully if not for the war.

Light Spinner was self centered, she’s selfish. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, although Shadow Weaver certainly takes that into the next level being an ego maniac later on. She was self centered and obsessed with the idea that is she was powerful and strong, she could stop this war. She single handedly could do it with the right help and, as such, she felt responsible for ending the war too. That made her obsession grow wildly and Light Spinner then made a mistake in good faith.

I think when she touched that unbridled magical power without the safeties she needed, that Weaver got her first taste of what would become her drug.

But first, let’s touch on a few things.

Tell me, when you read that paragraph about Spinner’s obsession… did that ring any bells? Remind you of anyone? Because I’ll tell you who Light Spinner reminded me of. A combination of Glimmer, Catra, and Adora. Gosh, I do love me a good book end and parallel, and Light Spinner is one that we often overlook.

Now we’re heading into a bit of headcanon territory here, so stick with me for a moment.

HC1: Every creature and person on Etheria has a baseline level of magic, and without that magic they will die.

HC2: The failed spell of obtainment drained Light Spinner of all her magic, and in a desperate attempt to survive she was able to turn it on other powerful magic users. Low level demonic pact, she sacrificed them to have enough magic left in her to survive.

Light Spinner is riding a manic euphoria from her first hit of a strong drug, which just happens to be some of the purest most mind meltingly power drug to ever exist, and is absolutely on a power trip at this point. She SURVIVED dying! She has the power, so much power! She was only ever held back here, people here didn’t understand, and neither did she but she does now! She understands now that THIS FEELING, oh this feeling!! She is like a god, she can do anything ANYTHING- but not if she stays here. Oh no, no, no, not by staying here. She’s killed people to survive, terrible but necessary, but no one will accept her now because they barely tolerated her before. So she’ll go somewhere where her power- her VISIONS are appreciated, are more than tolerated- she will be a fucking QUEEN and if they won’t join her they will suffer the consequences. God damn she is HIGH AS FUCK!

And she’s, like, halfish right? She did survive death, she does have an ungodly amount of power but it’s very temporary and also killing her. She was held back but for good reason, there were people who loved her, cared about her, valued her, understood her who she is abandoning now. She’s not a god, again, temporary cosmic powers with a very itty bitty living space. She did kill to survive, and the debate on the ethics of that will go round and round. Light Spinner had a power fantasy and she thinks it’s become reality, so she’s a bit off the deep end.

Shadow Weaver goes to the Horde. I like to envision that wherever she went, the natural flora around her died, it’s magic sucked up into the endless black hole inside her. She gets there, shows what she has done, promises things she cannot fully keep, and asks Hordak to give her the Black Garnet. Something that he has to know by now he cannot control or trust the princess family with, so it’s basically an annoying stone to him, sure ya weirdo you can have it. Fuck up and I’ll kill you though.

Shadow Weaver, probably: Ah hell yeah!

She gets a runestone and as the magic she absorbed starts to really fade- so does the euphoric high. She is feeling more and more depressed, hazy, numb, bad… guilty. Ashamed. But Shadow Weaver is powerful and she doesn’t want to feel bad, she doesn’t want to look at what she’s done to survive, she doesn’t want to confront what she’s done wrong. (Remind you of anyone, yet again?) So she doesn’t. She convinces herself that’s weak Light Spinner thinking and talk. She’s Shadow Weaver, she’s been reborn, she’s a totally different person now!! (She’s pulling an Anakin Skywalker/Vader right now) So those guilt and shame feelings are because of who she was, not what she’s done! What she did made her stronger, more powerful, made her second in command of the Horde! 

And I think in that moment of, “Fuck you universe, I played your game and won and I won’t be denied again!” she manages to chip part of the garnet off. And that little chip radiates magical power. She makes her mask and uses it up, the hit of her drug feels good in comparison to how bad she felt, and once again she’s racing against the clock to magical death. But the chip of the runestone resonates with itself, she can re-charge it. She can now get an undiluted source of magic, take a good hard hit of her drug, whenever she wants. 

As the years go on she learns how to control that recharging to some degree, but mostly she’s stuck either drained of her power or brimming with it. (Remind you or anyone again again?) So she yo-yo’s with it. And the more she uses, the more she NEEDS to feel that sense of power and euphoria again. And the more she uses, the less good she feels but it’s still better to have than not. By the time we see her in the show I think Weaver is genuinely unable to reach that euphoria anymore. The Black Garnet is a lifeline now, charging up feels good but only to a baseline okay. She’s a functional addict now, but she’s miserable most of the time.

And to cap it all off, what did her ultimate cosmic power get her?

A position in the Horde where she’s the paper pusher for Hordak and also teaches young children. 

Hang on that sounds familiar… aw, shit, this is Mystacor 2.0 now! The only difference is she has two aces in the hole in the form of two abused and manipulated children instead of one shitty “little brother” (some friend he was!) and actually holds the respect (the fear) of those around her.

I think Weaver, to some extent, has accepted and loathes the mediocrity her life has become. She was once a god, but nothing can get her there again.

Let’s briefly talk about her relationship to Catra and Adora. First of all, yes, 100% she was their abuser. Like, that’s just straight up text, in the show, no duh. The controversial thing (bewilderingly) is that I think Shadow Weaver came to genuinely care for them. Like, in the most fucked up way possible, I think she cared for them. She projected onto them (both herself, Norwyn, Micah, Hordak, anyone who’s been important in her life she projected alternatingly on them) and she used them to stay emotionally balanced because the drugs just aren’t cutting it anymore fam. Likewise, I think to some extent she genuinely thought she was doing right by them.

Look, you need to accept that most people don’t think they’re wrong. They don’t think they’re monsters. They believe they are doing the right thing for themselves and usually everyone else too. Child abusers especially don’t see themselves as monsters, they are more likely to see themselves as victims fighting back than as a monster. It’s fucked up, it’s not okay, but that’s the way it goes. And I know that especially right now that might be cutting a little close to home, but it’s important to remember when it comes to Shadow Weaver and her story.

Weaver really thinks she’s helping these two little freaks she cares about out by making them “harder” (because Light Spinner was made weaker for being emotional), “stronger” (because Light Spinner was hurt and held back by not being stronger), and “powerful” (because doing drugs made her a fucking god-queen and got her everything she thinks is good in her life). So she has to be a little harsh (torturing children) at times, they’ll thank me later! Besides look at them, they love me (you’re basically their mom), they’re loyal to me (because they are desperate for parental approval), they respect me (they are terrified of you)! I’m raising them up so well :) (Madam, they are heavily traumatized!)

Weaver ALSO is still using them to regulate her own emotions. So when she has a good day, she can reward them within reason. If she had a bad day, all she has to do is be firm (torture children), and like magic she feels better! She can’t punch Hordak but she can electrocute and terrorize small children, and that’s almost the same thing.

So what if she’s drawing more and more power and burning through it faster and faster? So what that she’s started drinking to help ease the edges magic doesn’t? Life is pain and sucks, why can’t she do a few things to make it nicer? Does Shadow Weaver, too, not deserve a little treat in the face of the unending horrors?

And, god someone will want to kill me for this I’m sure, to some extent she isn’t wrong.

Shadow Weaver is a (fictional) person too. Everyone deserves to have some nice things. No one deserves to be in pain all the time, no one deserves to be scared all the time- and Weaver is in pain and scared all the time. Without her drug, she is weak and powerless and will die. That’s a horrifying and awful way to live your life. She doesn’t deserve that because no one does.

However, I think classifying picking up a second addiction and abusing children is, not, a little treat in the face of the unending horrors.

Weaver and me will just have to disagree on that point.

ANYHOW

Let’s jump forward a bit in time. Weaver gets in more dire straits, her life is more miserable, she’s at risk of dying from magic, magic withdrawal, and Hordak. Life’s a bitch and then you die. (Please picture modern AU Shadow Weaver as owning at least one throw pillow with “Life’s a Beach” on it, probably on her designer couch under the live, laugh, love wall art)

And all the sudden what she thought was solid ground just fucking vanishes under her feet.

Adora leaves???? Hordak is paying attention to her again and expecting shit????? CATRA IS IN CHARGE, WHAT!?!?!?!?!?

So Shadow Weaver is now powerless and locked up in her cell. Barely soaking up enough ambient magic to make her death particularly and excruciatingly slow. If she got sent to Beast Island it would either be quick or Micah could be her battery if he’s alive (and we’ll talk about Micah later, don’t worry). Once on Hordak’s shit list you are on it forever, so no getting her life back.

But she does have an option. It requires using up the last of Catra’s good will and loyalty (so she thinks) but it means she can get more drugs- I mean, uh, turn over a new leaf? Yeah, sure, we’ll go with that. Adora was always easier to manipulate without magic anyways, and now that she’s a literal princess she can do some magic charging too. Hell to the yeah- Shadow Weaver can never really lose baby!

First though I need to emphasize that when Shadow Weaver talks to Catra in the cell, she doesn’t full out lie. Maybe a half truth or lie of omission, but she uses the truth to get what she wants. And what she wants isn’t: to fuck Catra over (although that will be the consequence, too bad about that), to be explicitly cruel and traumatize Catra (although that will be the consequence, whaaaatever about that, poor little freak I care about), or really have anything to do with Catra.

That’s part of what makes her actions so painful. For Catra this felt targeted, it WAS a betrayal. Shadow Weaver is gone knowing what will happen to her instead of just letting Catra help. Catra genuinely thought she could flip their dynamic to some degree (she could help Weaver and then be the one in charge and then once mom sees how good I am at her job she’ll be all, “Oh I was so wrong about you! Let me apologize and grovel at your feet! You’re so amazing and cool and I will help you the way I said I’d help Adora because I love you and care so, so, so much about you!”) and that Shadow Weaver didn’t have a choice. But even when Weaver shouldn’t have had another choice she STILL CHOSE ANYTHING ELSE OVER CATRA.

From Shadow Weaver’s perspective it was very much more: I have nothing to give and don’t wanna die, survive at any cost. Catra is gonna probably be punished and/or die, which sucks, but not more than me dying. So Imma head out.

Catra was collateral damage, not the target.

Anyhow-

Weaver escapes and is booking it to her newest candy (drug) machine, she is already feeling a little better because, weirdly enough, it turns out isolating yourself away from free flora magics to maintain a baseline amount of your own magic is not a good thing. Weirdly enough taking hard drugs does not mean that you can stop taking your multi-vitamin and eating a balanced diet. She makes it to Brightmoon and quickly realizes her plan won’t work.

Adora is… mad at her? For some reason? Is she really holding onto those little hurts? Please! She was raised better than that, it’s war, she’ll get over it.

Someday.

But until that day Weaver needs another plan.

Good news, She-Ra magic did heal her. It gave Weaver her own source of magic again. Huzzah for not dying and being on a constant timer for death! Okay news, Brightmoon has so much more ambient magic it’s kinda wild and the forced withdrawal is not longer a cold turkey quit like the Horde was. Bad news, Weaver still doesn’t have a new source for her drug and she wants one- needs one!

And then Glimmer arrives.

Yeah, Shadow Weaver can work with that.

Teleporting to the Fright Zone and using Glimmer as a literal battery pack is the first real high Shadow Weaver has had in a long time. She had been drug free for quite a while, so having access to runestone magic again feels so much better than it did by the end of her time with the Horde. She is strong! She is powerful! She is on another euphoric ride! When Catra shows up, Weaver has no problem attacking her and torturing her for two reasons: 

Catra’s loyalty and love are gone because Weaver used it up to escape prison (so she thinks)

GOD THIS MAGIC FEELS SO GOOD, HOT DAMN!

Man this is going so well! Everyone is going to realize they were wrong about her. Once Weaver decides to change sides, she means it, all or nothing! She totally isn’t still struggling with the same insecurities she’s always had because she’s never addressed them or worked on them and fuck you for suggesting otherwise. She just likes being right, has nothing to do with having others see her as worthy and cool! They’ll get back and Glimmer will tell her mom, “And Shadow Weaver was instrumental in this victory, in fact, Shadow Weaver was key to it! She is a good guy now!” And Queen Angella will be like, “Wow, that is so great, thank you for saving and protecting my daughter! Would you like access to the moonstone? Perhaps a position of great power?” Maybe she’ll get another statue of herself, that would be neat!

(Shadow Weaver is high as balls folks, the thinking is not gonna be realistic here lol)

And then Queen Angella is dead.

Well…

Fuck.

Weaver’s high runs out long before things are settled and Glimmer crowned queen, but she already knows her game plan now. People still think she’s a bad guy, which is CRAZY TALK! So she’s going to prove them wrong, get in good with the queen (like a second mother perhaps?), get access to her drug, be powerful, and live the good life again. So there will be more work and manipulation to get there, it’s fine, Shadow Weaver is no stranger to hard work and a shitty life. She will make it happen.

And it kinda does. She gets in good with Glimmer. Teaching magic means accessing some magic, even if it’s not the good shit that gets you high. She’s proving how smart and talented she is, and also that she’s a good guy now and should be trusted with more delicious She-Ra healing magic.

Slight problem though.

Glimmer isn’t stupid.

If there’s one major critique I have for how fandom characterizes Glimmer in season 4, it’s that she’s treated like she’s either super naive or stupid.

Glimmer and Adora are, in some ways, having the same feelings about Shadow Weaver but just at different times. Adora sentiment of, “I won’t be tricked by you, trust me that I understand who and what you are. I need my friends to trust me.” is echoed by Glimmer in season 4. I think part of Glimmer’s frustration with Adora stems from the way that when Adora stood in this position, Glimmer did eventually trust her and let Adora do what needed to be done, but now that she’s here Adora won’t do the same? (It’s part of the larger, Adora thinks she’s better than me, Adora thinks she’s smarter than me, Adora is trying to undermine me, Adora doesn’t trust me- which is all actually Adora trying to show her love and respect while protecting someone in her very unhealthy traumatized way)

Glimmer’s fight with Adora and isolation in general in season 4 actually allows Shadow Weaver further in than she would’ve before (So everything is coming up Shadow Weaver!). But she takes it too far, Glimmer cottons on to what’s happening. And unlike Adora and Catra, Glimmer has had more support and love in her life. Weaver is not the be all end all, Weaver is not her mother, Weaver is a poker chip that Glimmer is trying to use. Glimmer also has more self awareness and coping skills. 

So Weaver doesn’t fully get her hooks in. She still does damage, she still uses Glimmer, it’s still skeevy as fucking hell. But it’s not the same and Weaver is locked out in the cold.

So what’s a powerful sorceress to do? She’s been off her drug of choice again for so long that I think she’s thinking of it as more of an abstract concept and following old bad habits because what else is she supposed to do? Reflect on herself, get therapy, and become a better person? That requires her admitting to doing wrong and dealing with all the guilt and shame- hard pass!

(Quick aside, Shadow Weaver is prideful. Very prideful. And do you know what that also entails? A lot of shame. So, so much shame.)

Then Glimmer vanishes and Micah returns.

Let’s finally talk about Micah and Shadow Weaver. Or, more accurately, let’s talk about Micah and Light Spinner to start.

I don’t actually agree with the take that she abused Micah. I think she did mistreat him, she was an adult and treated him like an adult colleague when he was a child she should have been protecting. Light Spinner had no right to expect a literal child who was under her care and purview to take care of her in any way shape or form, but she did. She went to him to vent and blow off steam which made him feel important and mature and grown up. Her childishness matched his actual childishness. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, but that doesn’t mean it was abuse. I genuinely get the sense that Light Spinner thought of Micah as her equal, that he was perhaps her only friend at that point. There’s nothing wrong with a friendship between an adult and a child, but there are boundaries that the adult is responsible for maintaining and Light Spinner did not. They cared for each other, platonically loved each other, considered themselves good friends to one another- and they were also too co-dependent and unhealthily attached in largest part because Light Spinner did not behave appropriately with him.

And I don’t think those feelings just vanished after the spell failed from Micah bailing on a shit situation.

This is headcanon territory again, so hold on tight please.

I think King Micah was captured by the Horde and spent time in a cell. In fact, I like to imagine it was the cell Weaver was thrown into because Hordak is a petty bitch like that. Shadow Weaver would go and visit him, maybe even personally delivered food to have the excuse to visit him. Show off a little, see how good I’m doing now! And look, Micah, if you just give me something, tell me some information, pledge a little loyalty, I can help you! Hordak wants you dead, but I care about you. So help me to help you!

(Sound familiar? I think this is a large part of why Weaver didn’t give Catra anything she could use, she’d been on the other side too and already knew what was actually at the end of that offer.)

Micah, meanwhile, hasn’t given up on her. He knows his good friend and mentor is still in there, and he believes firmly that he can bring Light Spinner back. He can convince her to stop this! She never even liked the Horde anyways, and now that she knows how evil they are, how could she possibly be okay with it? She could just leave and join him in Brightmoon instead! (Sound familiar????)

And Shadow Weaver is aghast that Micah doesn’t understand how mistreated she was, how hurt she was back on that side. In fact, he doesn’t seem to even think he BETRAYED HER by bailing on the evil spell! What the FUCK Micah, I thought you cared about me? I thought you were my friend!? But you don’t understand and you never will! (SOUND FA- *I am dragged offstage by a comically oversized hook)

The difference between Catra and Weaver in this situation is that Catra never stopped believing she could save Weaver. But Weaver used her hurt and hate to go to Hordak and tell him, “There’s nothing he will reveal.” She possibly even escorted Micah to the pod to send him to Beast Island.

Shadow Weaver saw this as tit for tat. Micah had betrayed her first, she was just returning the favor. See how he liked being left to die!

For Micah this is what broke the good will.

So, season 5. Glimmer is gone, She-Ra is gone, but Micah is back. Shadow Weaver thinks because she was advising the queen that she has a position to bargain from. To be fair, she has a better position than most people but it’s nothing special or powerful or even official. She is shunned, she is isolated, she is mistrusted, and she is hated. It validates everything Weaver believes about how the world works. She tries to ingrain with Micah a bit, I bet anything that she asked him for just a little drug because then she could fight more out on the field of battle. 

Micah is also not stupid. He blocks her every chance, they argue and bicker and Weaver realizes pretty quick that it isn’t gonna work.

So she focuses on her last chance for magical drug abuse- Castaspella.

We don’t know much about her and Light Spinner’s relationship in Mystacor. It comes across as very dismissive. That Light Spinner did not see Castaspella as an equal worthy of her time and, therefore, she didn’t get any of it. Casta seems like she was a little jealous of Micah’s treatment and special access, but never to an extreme amount. But Casta knows what Weaver did to Micah, she knows what Weaver did in the Horde, and she does not trust the woman at all.

Castaspella is also not stupid, it’s a family trait I think.

She is willing to partner up with Weaver and explore their options because this is literally the apocalypse and end of the world. So the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and Casta (unlike her brother) is willing to make a deal with the devil to make it happen.

Weaver returns and boom, Glimmer is back, She-Ra is back, Catra is back. Three potential aces in the hole and two potential power sources! Except Adora is spotty on the She-Ra stuff and Glimmer ain’t sharing. Fine, she has a plan anyways.

And this is an important moment for Weaver, I think she gets excited and then lets it go. She’s no longer locked into addiction. She’s still an addict, but she’s now been clean long enough that craving a hit doesn’t mean going half insane in the pursuit of it. But she’s still thinking and acting in a way that will lead her towards that drug, more habit than anything else. I don’t think she’s even aware at this point that raw magical highs are no longer the be all end all. It’s the power and respect she felt that gave her, it’s the euphoria and confidence it gave her that matters.

Now the failsafe, 100% if Weaver knew she could take it and get to the heart and survive she would’ve taken it as a “selfless good guy” act. But Weaver values survival almost above everything else, and she knows the odds are very, very against her. Whereas Adora has a good chance to survive, if she can focus and be She-Ra. If she does, then great, Weaver proves she’s a good guy (again, the ungrateful ingrates!) and proves she can be trusted with raw magic so maybe can they pwetty pwease let her get high on just an itty bitty bit of magic? As a little treat, perhaps? And if Adora fails and dies, well the heart fires and if they survive, Weaver proves she was a good guy who can be trusted around magic, and gets sympathy points for losing her pseudo-daughter. Maybe enough that Glimmer will trust her more again and moonstone power is hers to feed on like a fat happy house cat. Maybe she’ll even get Micah to see reason. And if Adora fails and dies and the heart fires and they die, well, she certainly won’t be around to notice, will she?

Shadow Weaver still cares for Adora, in her supremely fucked up way, but by now she is seeing Adora as the one who turned her back on Weaver. Everyone always “betrays” Weaver first (stop pointing at Catra, stop it, Weaver didn’t betray her and if she did then Catra betrayed Weaver by taking over and throwing her in jail so there for infinity) after all. Otherwise Weaver might have to think about all the bad things she’s done in her life, justified and not- and we all know Shadow Weaver has never done anything wrong ever and if she did, well now she’s a good guy so you HAVE to forgive and forget.

Then Catra has to be dramatic and run away (which Shadow Weaver wanted so Adora could focus only to realize that whoops, Catra was what helped Adora focus enough to transform) so now there’s no She-Ra so Adora is totes dead. Can Shadow Weaver get an f in the chat for Adora, everyone?

Also, Shadow Weaver can either celebrate surviving by being drunk off her ass or she can die happily sedated. If no one wants to give her hard drugs she’ll just have to settle for a good red!

And then Catra comes back and Weaver, drunk, is like, “Yer show BAHD for her! Dun tryin stopper. She’s gotta do it man.” Because, again, drunk, cynical, and falling into old habits. Catra, however, has been doing some of that self reflection and growing thing and doesn’t fall with her. Sobering up because, wait what the fuck, but my abuse script- I can’t abuse without my abuse script, she listens and thinks and remembers: Catra is the key to She-Ra.

Also the little ego stroke of “I know you’ve got more power than you’re letting on” (IE: you are so smart and cunning and strong!) which I don’t think Catra meant but I think a drunk Shadow Weaver who’s always had insecurity over not being enough and translated that into a lifetime of needing to get gassed up with drugs and false praise probably takes it that way, definitely helps with that.

Called out on the tracking (devices? Magic?) Weaver decides, fuck it. I am a good guy after all, let’s go get the failsafe to the heart and then I can leech some drugs off that as a side benny.

Pretty sure the teleportation drains Weaver heavily and sobers her up, the nausea is probably killer tho. That’s fine, the on screen action where she basically fades into the background is a great time to control that desire to vomit. Then it’s off to be a hero or something.

Except Catra goes hero mode and Weaver thinks, “I can work with this. Nice nice nice.” So she helps Adora limp to the heart, but of course Adora is distracted by Catra AGAIN. Messy ass lesbian love! Weaver tries to make Adora focus the way that used to work, but whoops everyone else has been learning to connect with their emotions and desires so it doesn’t work. Weaver gets a contact high that police have developed mass hysteria into believing fentanyl gives, and Adora books it. 

And this is one of the most pivotal moments in Shadow Weaver’s story and it happens entirely off screen.

Weaver has been left alone with the ultimate pure, raw, unadulterated magic for thousands of years. It’s so strong, so powerful, that she gets a fucking charge just from being NEAR it. She looks back at it, and she considers her choices.

Weaver can try taking that power for herself. If it works it’ll be better than the failed spell of obtainment. A better high, more power, more respect, she’ll finally single handedly be able to end this war. If it fails she at minimum kills herself but maybe everyone.

And unlike before where the idea that dying as collateral is 100% okay to her, Weaver decides that it isn’t worth it this time. The chance of getting the high, getting the power is not worth it. She will never have this chance again in her life. Shadow Weaver has made a lot of “good choices” for “bad reasons” up to this point. And whatever her reasons were, I think this is the moment where Shadow Weaver makes her first good choice for a good reason. It’s the most Light Spinner-esque choice she’s made in a long time.

Shadow Weaver takes the contact high she has and leaves with a plan to fight for a free Etheria.

It’s full circle, she’s finally back to her original goal, her original purpose. She can’t save the planet on her own. She’s not a god. She’s not a princess. But she’s a powerful sorcerer with full power banks, and she can use that.

When she gets to the creature Shadow Weaver has one singular mission. Get Adora to the heart to free magic and save the planet. That’s it. That’s the mission. No ulterior secondary plans. Perhaps a faint hope that she’ll survive this, but I doubt it. She’s too cynical and jaded to believe that, her actions don’t align with her desire to survive.

As much as people hate to admit it, Shadow Weaver genuinely does have a big damn hero moment here. She comes in, she saves Catra and Adora because she knows what they mean to each other, she knows Adora needs Catra for She-Ra, and that Adora needs She-Ra to survive the heart. Shadow Weaver is doing her one good thing, she is sacrificing herself knowingly to save her two pseudo-daughters and the planet. She is being, genuinely, one of the good guys in this moment.

I think that Weaver is riding the high a little, riding that euphoria one last time the way she originally meant to. She creates that nice little book end I love so much. Shadow Weaver is selfish, self center, power hungry, and craves authority. She is that way because of her own fears, insecurities, and traumas. 

Dying does not redeem Shadow Weaver. Redemption is not a gift, it is a life long act of compassion.

Dying does not forgive Shadow Weaver for what she’s done. Forgiveness is also a lifelong action of compassion which can only be given by willing individuals. Weaver does not survive long enough to be given forgiveness and then keep earning it afterwards.

But Shadow Weaver’s story is a very human story. It’s a tragedy in many ways. She is an antagonist in this show, and it does show! She was a good person with good intentions who made the wrong choice. 

The biggest difference between her and Glimmer is that as soon as Glimmer realized it was a mistake, she went to try and fix it, she apologized for it, she put in the work to put things to right. The biggest difference between her and Catra is that Catra was willing (eventually!) to actually look her behavior in the eyes and refuse to be that way anymore, she was willing to work on her insecurities to be a better person, she was willing to work for forgiveness and redemption. The biggest difference between her and Adora is that Weaver bought into her savior complex, she truly believed she was that powerful and strong and that that was the only way to do what she saw as the right thing.

So Shadow Weaver is here, riding the wave, doing the right thing and for those of you who have swooped in to save the day (big or small) you probably know the feel good feeling that comes as part of that. She has magic and adrenaline and endorphins pumping around her system- and Shadow Weaver is an all or nothing person. She dedicated to being good, finally, so she is going to be good damn it all!

I think when she tells the girls that it’s too late for her, but it’s the beginning for them she means it. It’s admitting she’s planning to die, it’s admitting she was wrong.

I think when she tells Catra she’s proud of her, that she also means it. Catra has become who Light Spinner wanted to be. Strong, powerful, loved, respected. 

I think when she tells them, “You’re welcome.” She means it. I think she also knows it’s the last thing she can really say, the last words of the condemned that will be remembered.

I think she wants to be a good guy and be redeemed and be forgiven.

And I think that despite all of this, she isn’t.

Shadow Weaver made bad choices and was held at gun point by addiction, and as a consequence she became a bad person because she was unwilling to work on the ugly, nasty parts of herself. She was a bad person not because she was an addict, not because she was naive, but because each time the opportunity to change for the better came- each time she actually had the ability to change her heading… she didn’t. Not until the very, very end. And one brave, heroic act does not make someone a brave hero. 

It makes her a bad person who did a good thing.

I feel like the Crew-Ra talked a lot about that idea. That good people can do bad things, and bad people good things, and that the real divide in the grey area between good and bad people are the choices we make. And I feel like in some ways the fandom has selective amnesia about that. We like to remember it for Catra. We like to remember it for Hordak. It’s easier to do for them, they did (at minimum) start turning themselves around more fully. It’s easier to remember for them because they had that time on screen for us to go with it.

Shadow Weaver didn’t, and honestly that is for the best. She is a great antagonist and I think her complex and nuanced ending is perfect for her BECAUSE it doesn’t just hand wave anything with her. We saw her evil, we saw her neutral, we saw her final attempt at good. More than enough for the message that bad people can do good things.

It’s part of why Catra and Adora wouldn’t dance on Weaver’s grave. They had complex relationships with her, more bad than good, but there was good and they did love and care about her in some fashion. That’s why Catra doesn’t say “good riddance!” when Weaver dies. She begs Shadow Weaver to not do this because she’ll die. It’s why both of them cry as they watch.

I know the joke, and I love the joke, that Shadow Weaver died doing what she loved. Traumatizing children.

Because, yeah, she did traumatize them one last time with her death! It’s part of what makes this heroic sacrifice a bit ironic to me. Even trying her hardest, even doing her one good thing, Shadow Weaver still hurts people. But it’s also trauma because Catra and Adora cared about her.

I’m not saying everything was hunky dorey between Weaver and the people/children she manipulated, mistreated, and abused and we should remember her as a hero. Not even close.

But I am saying that all these years later…

I’m tired of watching such a brilliantly written, designed, animated, and acted character be flattened out into a caricature. Shadow Weaver is not a cardboard cutout villain, there is a lot of genuine depth and nuance to her character. She has a character arc, and I believe she does grow as a character too!

I personally think Shadow Weaver is the best written character on the show. She’s probably legit one of my favorite characters (not just villains, characters) of all time! I’m never going to write a soft Shadow Weaver story where her heart grows three sizes blah blah blah. But I want to see takes about her and works about her that aren’t boiled down to: abused Catra, or abused Adora, or child abuser general ™.

She did and she was. She was also a lot more and if you wanna give her that full depth that she was so lovingly crafted and presented with, you have to start acknowledging that Shadow Weaver had good traits too, at one point was a good person, and died doing a genuinely brave and heroic deed. Same as you have to recognize that someone genuinely loving her deeply (romantic or otherwise) would not be enough to help her insecurities and fears. Same as we have to remember what redemption and forgiveness are.

I’m not asking you to love Weaver because she was a misunderstood little meow meow. Mischaracterized, yes, misunderstood? Oh god no.

I’m asking you to love Shadow Weaver because she’s a fucking cool and amazingly done character, and she deserves a bit of in depth love beyond love to hate.

[fist-of-vengeance]

i know there's a slasher fandom equivalent of the disney princess pink void, where they treat all horror characters like they're existing in the same universe, and im not normally super into it or anything

but im so shocked that i've never seen a crossover where norman bates meets carrie white. BECAUSE THEY WOULD HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT

they were both raised by abusive puritan mothers who taught them to be ashamed about sexuality

they're both awkward social outcasts desperate for connection

and they both killed their moms

idk i think they would get along and maybe be friends :)

[thefloatingwriter]

I try to be all let people do fandom how they want but oh boy. The bad takes everywhere about beetee and wiress. Stumbled on a reddit thread saying beetee's a mary sue whose only trait is being smart like.... get away from my man actually! People who think wiress has to be brain damaged and is unable to have any "normal" social interaction?? Literally how is it possible to misunderstand them so badly its not even like there's a million words of layered complexity to sift through a lot of it is explicitly stated/shown in the tiny amount of time the narrative gives to both of them. (And the way they're both commonly erased from the Quell alliance ugh.)

THIS!!! oh my god i will never not be mad about the common misinterpretations in this fandom. like of course wiress was having trouble communicating, she was literally going through possibly the worst thing that ever happened to her AGAIN. yes beetee is mainly characterized as being smart but that’s because he’s a side character with not much information on him, not because he’s a mary sue. like are we idiots. have we learned nothing in english class.

[inspiteofganon]

@bloobluebloo replied to your post “does anyone else play "does the artist think...”:

I play a broader game of "does the artist actually appreciate the character" because, as you mention, there are traits an artist might give him that may seem undesirable to me but are desirable to the artist in question. There are certain kinks and tropes that some people really like (for example, those people that really are into draw very large very well defined muscles which admittedly, not my thing) and a lot of those people also really like Ganondorf. Anyways the only time I really see Ganondorf draw in an "ugly" way imo is if the purpose of his portrayal is to show him being a threat or menace because ugly = evil. I find this is reflected in the way many people's initial reaction to wanting or desiring a Ganondorf with more character development was "you just want that because you think he's hot"

​That's the idea! And that's why trying to sus out context is such a big part of it when getting more specific than that (the game is rendered mostly over if the artist comes out and says their opinion on his looks, or does something obvious like selfship with him). Usually I don't have enough of a sample size-- especially for artworks where not a lot is happening-- to determine a more certain "hot or not?" It's easier to determine if the artist may struggle with him, or find him uncool, what features they try and bring out or minimize when depicting him... Ganondorf has such a distinct look about him that he varies a lot when people draw him because it's honestly kind of hard to capture, which is part of the fun of the game.

Plenty of times one isn't actively trying to make Ganondorf ugly-- he is a fit and well-dressed fellow with a cool visage-- but even if all the "handsome" ingredients are there... it just won't combine into the right vibe. Heck, even if a work is pornographic and Ganondorf is a key figure, the piece can still radiate major "doesn't really find him attractive" vibes! (this usually being result of him either just being there as a vehicle for an act rather than a facet of the big picture to be oogled, or looking so off-model he basically becomes an OC) "Finding Ganondorf hot" is a wide spectrum, so in playing this game I gotta be mindful that yes indeed... the artist might simply be into things I'm not.

A lot of people seem to just be trying to make him recognizable at all. Like "OK, here's Ganondorf", and they succeed well enough. It's a harder game outside of art that's longform sequential or shippy. He's not a common focus with depth, sadly.

I hesitate to give any contemporary examples of Ganondorfs I could clock as "artist probably thinks he's on the ugly side" in public since I don't wanna make any online artists who're up and around offended (though it's not a game I play to be mean), so I'll pull a few vintage 'Dorfs from History of Hyrule's library to give everyone a brief session of the game. This one's easy.

At a glance of these three... which artist probably found Ganondorf the most appealing?

[they-them-that]

Sorry it's another angry Monster High post lol, but some of y'all insulting the new voices for some of G3's characters really need to reevaluate yourselves. 💀

Those are literally real people's voices and not just for the VA's. It doesn't matter if you like G1's voices more, you don't need to be rude about the new ones??

[snekdood]

if me not sharing another political opinion ever again would also cosmically force hasan to stop for whatever ig karmic reason i would shut up literally immediately

[antsday]

honestly a lot of the most truly terrifying and manipulative horror-villain type characters come from romance authors who think they're writing a desireable male lead

[frommybookbook]

Not my ship, but honestly, Raymond Burr had so much fucking charisma that I could see how people would ship Perry with a fence post. Just look at that smirk!

[liefdesleven]

discourse over whether harrow is butch femme or neither just really shows none of yall know what being femme means

[nero-neptune]

maybe i’m just easily annoyed (and the news is depressing), but i feel like people on here (or the internet in general lbr) are more willing to criticize/dismiss (even label unrelated things as) “white feminism” (even if it’s bringing up important/relevant issues) than talk about feminism at all. sexism exists in every community you can think of, within every race, ethnicity, social class, religion, nationality, sexuality, what-have-you. it’s easier and more entertaining ig to point out how feminism is lacking or who’s doing feminism “wrong” then attempt to bridge/fill the gaps and actually, Seriously Talk about sexism in detail (and not like it’s some sort of 2nd tier, we’ll circle back to this much later, type of oppression which i Really get the impression of, even within supposedly-progressive spheres) on the regular and not as a series of gotcha posts that get enthusiastically reblogged for a blip in time and then. crickets. like as far as the patriarchy’s concerned (like if i’m looking at this from their perspective), this nitpicking appears very divide-and-conquer. nothing goes anywhere. and things just keep slipping backwards. maybe i’m crazy (maybe i’m way off base), but isn’t feminism meant to help All women, even the ones you dislike? even the ones you hate? like what’s going on here? am i missing something?

[clowniconography]

me: I'm sure glad I don't care about superficial stuff like acne or balding so I don't have to worry about those things happening/worsening when I go on T

my fucking inner ear acne around the corner about to get way worse: 😈😈😈