#this is very stream of consciousness i just had shit to say.

[nero-neptune]

maybe i’m just easily annoyed (and the news is depressing), but i feel like people on here (or the internet in general lbr) are more willing to criticize/dismiss (even label unrelated things as) “white feminism” (even if it’s bringing up important/relevant issues) than talk about feminism at all. sexism exists in every community you can think of, within every race, ethnicity, social class, religion, nationality, sexuality, what-have-you. it’s easier and more entertaining ig to point out how feminism is lacking or who’s doing feminism “wrong” then attempt to bridge/fill the gaps and actually, Seriously Talk about sexism in detail (and not like it’s some sort of 2nd tier, we’ll circle back to this much later, type of oppression which i Really get the impression of, even within supposedly-progressive spheres) on the regular and not as a series of gotcha posts that get enthusiastically reblogged for a blip in time and then. crickets. like as far as the patriarchy’s concerned (like if i’m looking at this from their perspective), this nitpicking appears very divide-and-conquer. nothing goes anywhere. and things just keep slipping backwards. maybe i’m crazy (maybe i’m way off base), but isn’t feminism meant to help All women, even the ones you dislike? even the ones you hate? like what’s going on here? am i missing something?

[knightforflowers]

You are spontaneous, both in character and in origin. You set out on a mission to discover the world and discover yourself, and you have completed that mission with aplomb. So. Now I ask you...what do you want now?

I— want to help my friends.

[2kiran]

Hi‼️ lurker here‼️ just wanna say that your works are awesome‼️‼️ and that your dash always looks so cool and pretty every time I come around to check up on you‼️ your works are so good and you’re such a talented writer‼️

also… can I…can I ask for a tired reader being surrounded by a very demanding and needy 141? Like I’m not all that creative like the other anons but like I just really like the reader satisfying the 141s in any way his tired form can‼️ whether it’s by letting them ride his dick until they’re satisfied or having them being cock warmed as reader falls asleep‼️

sorry for this‼️ just thoughts and brain worms are weird rn and I thought that you would carry these out well… back to lurking now‼️

p.s. the ‼️ are just here to show excitement not to be scary or anything I’m sorry

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: bottom 141, top male reader, consensual somnophilia, cowgirl position, cockwarming, fingering, dividers

The weight of the missions and daily tasks being distributed made your limbs slack, eyes droopy, body boneless and desperate to pass out for even a week. You’re dozing off the second you sit down or rest against a wall, jerking awake when shaken by your mate. It isn’t your fault that you’re hardworking when needed, and everything was becoming a necessity to put your full attention on.

You need a break.

On the other hand, your team doesn’t seem to agree.

They’re clingy, more than usual. When you’re in a room with them, it seems as though their presence is the only thing that matters. Unabashedly acting like animals in heat, they’d sometimes even gently rut against your thigh.

Their excuse? You’ve been neglecting them, rarely glancing or facing towards their direction. Sometimes, you’d fail to acknowledge them in passing which evidently piles up their frustration and need to turn the source into the outlet.

And you’ll let them. They know you will.

Soap is the first one to snap. The man’s too needy for his own good. He can’t stop thinking about you, your hands wandering along his body, allowing him to take a sniff of pleasure before you’re shoving him away. But now? Now you’re doing it unintentionally.

He’s concerned, knowing damn well that he shouldn’t bother you. And yet, he can’t keep it within his pants. You’ll be good for him, right?

“Shit, tha’s it, love...” Soap groans, face contorting with blissful relief. He rolls his hips, desperate to feel every inch of your cock - the one that had him dreaming about it, waking up with his boxers damp, and hole twitching from being so empty - “Y’can get some shut-eye, ‘s alrigh’.”

You’re hanging onto your consciousness by a mere thread, the promise of slumber darkening the edges of your view while simultaneously heightening the sensation of slick, twitching warmth wrapped around your length. Small moans left him, thick brows knitted together in concentration.

Soap cannot remain still for the life of him. He sinks further down, enveloping you in his tight heat and squeezes you with it. His jaw hung open, mouth agape, and his thighs are quivering in a poor attempt not to fuck back against your cock with his desperate hole.

-

The second is Price. He may be a responsible and patient captain, but he’s still a man with lustful requirements. He needs to let off stream, you know?

“Hhang... that’s a good man.” He ruts his hips against yours, the plushy thickness of his scarred thighs rippling with each bounce. If you’re comfortable with it, he’ll take a drag from his cigarette, letting the smoke slip through his teeth as a breathy moan rasps from his throat.

God, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the feel of you. Your tip meeting the spot that has him high with squelchy smacks, the scratchy stubble spread on his chin making the firm muscle of your shoulder raw whenever he angled himself forward to make you pound into him deeper.

Such a good soldier, you are. “Stay still, m‘fuckin’ close.” He huffs. Your cock twitches in response, and his lips curves in a self-satisfied grin. It has him riding you harder, rim taut, his pace fast and it makes the both of you dependent on chasing that point.

The Captain isn’t afraid to milk you for all you’re worth, either. It’s your own fault for making him needy. – “C’mon, you’ve got more in you, don’t you?”

-

Gaz is the next one. He heard your ‘interaction’ with the other men, smelled how Soap and Price practically reeked of well-deserved sex. It has arousal pool in his lower belly, dick twitching to life at the possibility of finally being satiated by you.

He’ll praise you for it; “Good boy, letting me use you like this.”, “Th-thank you, my love. Fuckin’ me so well.” and “Shh, I know. Go rest. I’ll just suck your pretty dick off, yeah?”

You think he’ll prep himself because you’re melting into the sheets to nap? No, you’re terribly wrong. He’d grip your wrist firmly, lubing your fingers up, and gently make them breach his tight hole. He gasps, immediately clenching from how intense it felt.

Gaz smiles fondly at how you seem to battle sleep, nodding mindlessly. When you do succumb to the urge, he’s biting his lip to contain his pathetic noises. You look so peaceful, and here he is fucking himself on your fingers. He’s holding onto your forearm, guiding you back and out. The murmurs of slick ringing through the room as he throws his head back.

“Fuckkk...” He’d mutter, fisting his own cock with rough jerks. Leaning down, he peppers kisses all across your jaw. He’s unbelievably turned on, rocking his hips to take in your digits completely. He’s getting desperate, but he will wait for you to wake up before he shoves your cock down his throat.

-

Ghost corners you. Sure, he’s got better self-control than the rest of the men. But hey, he’s still a human with very human needs.

Doesn’t matter if you’ve got a broader and hulking figure or a shorter stature, he’s guiding you with his frame until your knees hit the edge of a bed or a threadbare seat and your aching back is laying down. His mouth twitching in a mock snarl to have you submit. All with your consent, of course.

One of his favorite things to do to tease you? He loves to keep on asking you “This okay, luv?” and “Hmm? Y’want me to touch ya here?” until you’re begging him to finally fuck himself on your leaky dick that he’s been either playing with his roughened digits or warming with his inviting heat the entire time.

Rides you so slowly, hips rocking ever so slightly, and his soft walls pulse as they give way to your length. And it’s all to keep you awake, tightening up when you’re about to fall asleep on him. He wants you to be completely aware when he’s in the heights of arousal and he has you balls deep inside of him.

“Wake up, swee’art. Fuck– eyes on me, yeah, there we go.” / “Oh, you like tha’? Uh-huh? Good boy, you do.”

–

Or you have Price behind you, one of his arms slung around your waist as he thumbs at your slit until it’s coated in your pre. Soap’s tugging at your shaft, his fist enclosed and tight, consistent and oh so whiny like you’re inside of him. “Ye can fuck me harder, (rank), jus’ like this.”

Gaz on his knees, his tongue flicking at your sensitive veins. They’ll be toying with your cock as you lean back against the captain, letting sleep overtake you until you feel someone familiar climb into your lap. The other men supporting Ghost’s weight as he takes your dick in his skull-gloved hand, guiding the head to meet his rim and he sinks down with a low groan.

[tangibletechnomancy]

Doing It Wrong On Purpose: Episode 1 - The Un-Ship

Today's experiment: What happens if I prompt for something, and then negative prompt all the main keywords, plus various synonyms and related words?

The answer: Some gloriously weird stuff.

For example, let's look at a negative cat:

Positive prompt: A cat on a windowsill during a storm

Negative prompt: Cat, feline, felidae, kitty, kitten, animal, pet, windowsill, window, glass, pane, house, storm, rain, water, lightning, thunder, clouds, torrent, downpour, snow, blizzard, wind, windy

Interesting! Let's get a little more fantasy with it and try for an anti-deer:

Positive prompt: A deer in a peaceful flowery meadow, crystals, midnight, fantasy, colorful

Negative prompt: Deer, cervidae, animal, elk, moose, stag, doe, fawn, reindeer, antelope, cervid, antlers, flowers, night, dark, trees, foliage, bloom, stars, night, tranquil, fantastic, vibrant, cool, magic, blue, moon, sky, crystal, stone, statue, topiary, floral, blossom

Between these two experiments, including a few dozen other generations that remain unposted, one thing I can say for sure is that for living subjects, it's a great way to get the kind of anatomical wonk that older models are (in)famous for - and it makes sense why, the model is trying to make something that looks like a certain subject...but once it starts to look too much like it, well, shit, we told it NOT to do that! Break something up! Given that I love that kind of wonk, I think I've found a useful tool for myself.

One more living subject, and let's get even more abstract with our direction here:

Positive prompt: mind horse

Negative prompt: horse, equine, colt, filly, mare, stallion, bronco, pony, mind, brain, thought, essence, psyche, intelligence, consciousness, imagination, dream, soul, visualization, intellect, wit, cognizance

Now let's try something that isn't alive. One thing I love AI for is surreal settings and landscapes - lets try one now!

Positive prompt: A magic palace garden made of crystal and gold

Negative prompt: Palace, magic, crystal, gold, fantasy, castle, estate, stronghold, temple, garden, flowers, plants, blossoms, bloom, blooms, trees, grass, stems, foliage, leaves, greenery, branches, bush, bushes, hedge, hedges, metal, luxury, stone, glass, brass, rose, polished, jewel, prism, courtyard

I then tried to see if, learning from the animal subjects, I could make it more likely to return one of my favorite "mistakes" - making it impossible to discern the point where a water area ends and a sky area begins. I wasn't immediately successful, but I came up with some results I found pleasing regardless-

Positive prompt: Secret hideout in a cave behind a waterfall in the foggy forest on a floating sky island in fluffy clouds

Negative prompt: hideout, camp, campsite, home, abode, house, dwelling, rest, shelter, waterfall, water, cave, grotto, forest, woods, woodland, trees, fountain, cascade, pond, stream, lake, river, brook, puddle, creek, pool, beach, ocean, sea, cloud, clouds, sky, cumulus, cirrus, nimbus, fog, storm, rain, sunshower, falls

It seems that with landscapes it's got a much clearer and more specific "idea" of what a [SUBJECT] without [SUBJECT] looks like; it's more inclined to invent very specific, very consistent unasked for related elements. With the animals, I was tweaking the weight on the positive prompt to avoid getting straightforwardly just what I had positive (and negative) prompted, but with landscapes, I just get... almost something else entirely.

So how about inanimate objects? Let's try a ship, perhaps?

Positive prompt: A huge sailing ship with brilliant prismatic crystal sails on a stormy, turbulent sea of sunset clouds

Negative prompt: ship, boat, sailboat, sailing ship, pirate ship, galleon, ketch, schooner, sloop, cutter, sail, sea, ocean, storm, wind, rain, water, waves, cloudy, clouds, fog, sunset, dusk, dawn, sunrise, twilight, evening

...okay, I'm in love with the un-ship. It truly does manage to consistently give me results that look like, yet entirely unlike, a ship. It is everything I love about AI as a medium. More than that, it is my friend.

At lower positive prompt weights, they only get even more beautifully chaotic.

I want to live on one of these (in an alternate universe where they're geometrically possible and structurally sound, that is).

Failing that, I will be featuring them a lot from now on.

All images generated using Simple Stable, under the Code of Ethics of Are We Art Yet?

[tiddygame]

Ghoap god type Au part 2!

Ao3 /// part 1 /// part 2 /// part 3 /// part 4 /// part 5 /// part 6 /// part 7 /// part 8 /// part 9

i didn’t expect so many people to like this so this is a little addition written stream of consciousness style :)

Weeks have passed and the troops have marched on. Ghost is not very liked amongst his fellow soldiers, most viewing him as something less than human. If they notice the drastic uptick in him sneaking away, they say nothing. Whether it is out of respect, fear, or apathy does not matter.

When they stop somewhere, even if for just a night or two, he always searches the area for overgrown shrines belonging to the god. Now that he is actively seeking them out, he realizes that they’re everywhere.

Damn near every notable landscape was a ruin of what was once a commemoration for the god. Clearings in trees with stone circles on the ground, shallow caves with a pedestal holding forgotten gifts, eye-catching rocks that turned into statues when you paid attention — all for a deity that was now on the brink of death.

On the rare occasion he is unable to find one, he creates one. It was never really anything more than a pile of rocks, but the offerings were still accepted so he took it as a sign of approval. Before, he always ate his meals on the edge of camp, as far away from everyone as he could get while still being in camp. But then he remembered that he didn’t give a shit and would wander further into the woods before sitting down to eat.

Now, it was the same routine but a little less alone. To call some old ass god a friend was a stretch, especially since half of the time it felt more like trying to feed a skittish stray dog, but he enjoyed the time spent “together”. He decided not to think about whether that was an exploitable weakness or if he was going soft and instead tried to enjoy his newfound respite.

Of course, nothing stays happy forever.

When the battle they had been marched towards finally came, Ghost was put on the frontlines, as per usual. This time he felt Different but chalked it up to nerves with feeling like he might have something to lose now.

That morning, he hadn’t received breakfast so the only offering he had been able to provide was a few flowers that were in the area. He felt beyond stupid while picking them, but when they were laid down, the god hadn’t even waited for him to turn away to be able to dramatically accept the offering. They were accepted immediately, with a strong breeze rustling the branches and such an intense feeling flooding through him he’d had to take a step back.

The forgotten god of death likes flowers, apparently.

Within a few hours, he went from wondering if he would now be upgrading his food offerings to include a garnish of whatever flowers he found in the area, to wondering if that would be the last offering the god would ever receive.

The arrow had nestled between plates of his armor, striking him in the lower ribs. He was dying far too slowly for it to have hit anything vital, but he was still dying. He was an okay field medic, but it was that very knowledge that meant he knew he was doomed.

Being nothing more than a weapon, he was not allowed to see the healers the same way everyone else was. As the battle finished with their side unfortunately victorious, he wondered if the general even realized he could be fatally wounded.

The smoke cleared, the injured men were hurried to the medical tents, the general began planning their next attack, and Ghost lay there, dying and forgotten in an open field. He had been looking forward to this moment for so long, but now that he was here, he wondered who would give his god offerings tomorrow. Realizing that in dying, he would be taking the god with him made him feel almost remorseful.

But the darkness was creeping in on his vision and his woes seemed to fall away as did the rest of the world. Perhaps he would be seeing the god soon.

————

He did not expect to wake up, and yet he was staring at the canopy of leaves above him and wondering why Hell looked so nice. When the pounding in his head went away, he sat up slowly, first rolling onto his side and reeling from the pain. When he was able to push himself up into a seated position, he realized that Hell not only looked lovely, but incredibly familiar as well.

Once his vision stopped swirling, he saw that he wasn’t in the afterlife at all, but instead had been lying on the offering table he had just left flowers on that morning. Still barely comprehending what was going on, he scrambled off the shrine. Just because he’d challenge a god to a fistfight doesn’t mean he’s entirely stupid. He still remembers stories that the elders would use to scare him and the other kids — about how anything on the offering table was an offering that could be taken.

He wasn’t interested in becoming a human sacrifice just yet so he fell to the grass and tried to remember what happened. The pain made everything muddied, but he knew for certain he was supposed to be dead. The shrine he had woken on gave some indication of what must’ve happened, though the why of it all was still a mystery.

Would the god of death betray his own domain just for the sake of keeping him alive?

Lifting his shirt and finding a golden scar on what should have been a fatal injury, he found out that yes, yes they would. The pain made it take a good few minutes to stand and he distantly wondered how much power the god had. He’d heard of deities saving their favorite (and in this case, only) follower from the brink of death, but never heard mention of the pain.

He deduced that the god must still be too weak to have done such magic fuckery without repercussions and that the full-body agony must be at least one of those repercussions. As he sat pondering the power level of the being, he went to run his hand through his hair but stopped, feeling something that wasn’t there before.

A flower, tucked behind his ear. One he picked that morning.

The god of death saved him and put a dandelion behind his ear.

————

It wasn't until the next night that he was able to visit the shrine. As expected, he was yelled at for disappearing for several hours but he was too out of it to really hear any of what was being said. The pain would come and go at seemingly random and each spike that made his steps stutter was another reminder of just how close he had been to death.

Waylaid by his duties and own requirements of rest, he finally snuck out with the little dinner he had been given. Part of him was a lot more scared than he’d like to admit, having no idea what the god would want in return for the miracle they’d performed. He really did not want to be indebted to yet another person, much less a god.

It took him much longer than usual to make it to the shrine, slowed by pain and exhaustion. It was pitch black by the time he got there but the area around the pedestal had a slight glow.

He set down his offerings and really hoped it was enough to not incur the wrath of an angry god that felt like they were owed more than they received. His dinner — consisting of a bread roll and salted meat, a true feast — along with some jewelry he was able to pilfer and more flowers was far from what any god would expect in return for such a miracle, but it was all he had to offer.

He took a stuttering step back and bowed his head. He may be a prideful bastard but he’d consider the day a victory if he lived long enough to feel embarrassed. His fingers tingled, the leaves rustled, and he opened his eyes to find— Oh. Hmmm.

The flowers and jewelry were gone, but the plate had more food on it.

Well, that’s… something. He looked up at the sky, wondering if the god was watching him. After some hesitation, he verbalized his question, asking if this meant the offering was rejected.

There was no answer. When he looked back down, the plate had been moved closer towards him. Okay, what the fuck? The food looked kind of shitty, honestly, but looking closer he realized that’s because it was his offerings that he had given.

Still not quite grasping the situation, he slowly grabbed the plate, waiting to see if he’d be struck by lightning. However, no murderous rain clouds spontaneously appeared as it left the altar. He examined the plate. The food was stacked rather precariously; there wasn’t much of it but the randomness of the items ensured it was on the brink of falling.

Was this meant to be a gift? For him? Why would a god continue to give more and more while receiving almost nothing in return?

He took a moment to sit down, definitely out of caution and not pain, trying to figure out if this was what the deity wanted him to do. Tentatively, he grabbed a piece of bread and slowly began eating. He was slowed by the shake in his hands and for once was right in saying it wasn’t from nerves. The shakiness had been persisting ever since he woke up but had gotten better over time. Before, he hadn’t been able to even pick up small items without struggle. It all seemed a small price to pay considering he should’ve died in that field.

As he ate, he stared up at the altar and wondered how a god whose favorite offerings were flowers had gotten such an awful reputation. Lost in thought, he was pulled back to the present as the apple almost rolled off the plate. He caught it, moving to set it in his lap instead, but noticed something that made him freeze.

Someone was there.

He felt it, both the eyes watching him and the domineering presence that had taken up the area. He carefully continued his movements while looking around, alarmed to see nothing there. He took stock of his surroundings, trying to discern what he was sensing. It seemed the god was no longer simply watching him from the heavens.

Not expecting an answer, he asked aloud if the god wanted some of the food, resolutely staring at his plate. He was unused to feeling a divine being near him. It was unsettling.

No.

The answer seemed to materialize from nothing. He hadn’t heard it, hadn’t read it, it didn’t even feel like it had been some kind of psychic fuckery. It just was. Man, gods were weird.

Pushing the limit, he asked if they had a favorite flower.

Whichever you give me.

And then the presence was gone. He was back to eating alone in a clearing. What the fuck does that mean? The weird godly way of talking didn’t provide much in the way of tone. Was it happy? Flirty? Apathetic? Annoyed?

He shook his head and resumed eating. It didn’t matter. Tomorrow would be an even longer day as they pack up and march on.

He needs to get his god more flowers.

[tarohonii]

eleceed guys on: texting their ex

Sucheon will not text under any circumstance. His pride and hurt won't let him, and also probably blocked your contact the moment things went sour. Suppresses everything- out of sight out of mind. He will agonize over it sometimes, like maybe asking why it ended the way it did, or a scathing remark, but in the end, he never will.

Duke? Don't make him laugh. Once you're done, you're done. Contact blocked, messages deleted, and you're all but non-existent in his head. Your house could be burning down, he'd hear there's a hit out for you, he's not texting you.

Jiwoo, the poor thing, is absolutely texting you back. Unless if it ended absolutely horrifically (like trying to murder him), beyond a romantic partner, he'd still want you to be by his side and would go to great lengths to keep it that way. Would be heartbroken if you stopped keeping in touch, actually.

Wooin won't respond at first over text. However, if you keep texting him, he'll eventually show up in person to confront you and talk to you face to face.

Jisuk is fighting literal demons not to text you. He has a whole album on his phone filled with memes and photos he wants to send to you, but he can't because that shit's embarrassing. He does give in pretty quickly though; especially if you text first.

Ian is likely the one to text first. Either does it because he's a.) bored and doing it for the plot or b.) misses you so bad he has no idea what to do with himself. Will text you a lot, but plays the games and responds only after leaving you on delivered for a whole day.

Asher is similar to Ian and Jisuk, but I can see him getting attached pretty easily, and doesn't text you just to fuck around. Misses you and wants to text you back, but his pride and hurt will override everything and likely won't end up texting them back.

Gahin can only last about 24 hours after seeing their ex's text before going ham in the responses. He's sending paragraph after paragraph, fluctuating between cussing them out for fumbling the best option they had, and demanding answers for why it ended the way they did. Very much a stream of consciousness and has shit to say.

[zylphiacrowley]

So I've been kicking this bit of lore around in my head for a while now and I'm mostly just writing it out to get it out there but have some more of my stream-of-consciousness lore babbling pertaining to the BRD skillset and animations and how it fits in with X'vahl's personal lore (subject to change at will since I probably need to do more research):

Despite him being an absolute dogshit caster, X'vahl is actually extremely naturally gifted with wind aspected aether he just... he doesn't realize it. He doesn't realize that whenever he does the crazy acrobatics and trick shots with his bow that that's just like very Not Normal™. He's been able to pull off wild stunts pretty much since he first picked up a bow. His dad never mentioned it being unusual, so he just figured it was normal. His dad also partially wrote it off as he was just a very energetic child (I imagine when he started shooting he wasn't doing the super insane shit yet), it just seemed like he had a natural proclivity for archery and a whole lot of miqitten energy stored up.

When he was training with Sanson and Guydelot, Sanson didn't notice it as much as something unusual but Guydelot had a "holy shit." moment about it, but decided just not to say anything (again, maybe it's a miqo'te thing???? Also it was probably more fun not to say anything about it, after all being a bard is in part also being a performer, and what are aerial acrobatics if not a performance?).

When he joined the scions, they had all figured that he was fully aware that he was channeling wind aether and it was just something he did so nobody ever really said anything about it.

I'd like to imagine if he had been asked to take part in the Hanu Hanu test one of two things would've happened: 1) The feather would've fallen like a stone (the expected outcome) since he would not be able to willfully channel the aether to make it do anything else. or 2) He would've blown that feather into the next zone and had an extremely shocked pikachu moment and had to suddenly question everything he's ever known about aether and magic.

[veryinjuredperson]

i'm not sure how many people will actually see this post, but anyone who does, hi! i'm vip, and i have some pressing questions on my ol' mind!

so, i'm... severly mental ill, to say the least of it, diagnosed with depression, adhd, anxiety, bpd, professional suspicions of autism and ptsd, and personal suspicions of some sort of dissociative disorder.

to make this easier, im going to breakdown what's been happening...

so, i can't say i've ever noticed being GONE from the present per say, but it's more like... i'm sort of present at all times, but have different personalities or voices who crop up and direct me. my tones change, sometimes my accent changes, my mood changes, the words i use change, certain skill sets might change, thought processes change, etc.

i've struggled with identity for a long time, i just don't like to share that fact usually, particularly because it scares the shit out of me and also due to the fact that i am constantly telling myself that i must be an attention seeker and a faker and a liar, even though i have only spoken about my suspicions of potentially being a system with a single trusted person.

some voices have names, there are several who are at least based on fictional characters, and others who aren't... sometimes i can communicate more clearly between separate voices, and other times it feels like one train of thought that's jumping back and forth for a single mental conversation, like i say something and then respond to myself but it still doesn't feel like just me? i have had people point out that i'm acting different before, but i have a consistent stream of consciousness, so i feel like that's kind of... idk... i feel like that's not how systems work, is it? bc it's less like individual people who take the reigns and more like i am a sort of central core, and then there are little voices or influences, some stronger or bolder than others, who sort of... blend in with me? and influence what i'm doing... so like... i know what's going on, i feel in control, but i don't feel... normal?

if anyone has any way they can help me decipher some of this, please let me know. for now, i've taken to using plural kit and simply plural to log these personality shifts.

i do intend to speak to a psychiatrist and/or at least a therapist about this, but i haven't been able to get that far quite yet. any help in the meantime would be greatly appreciated.

( i have trauma, but a lot of my childhood from at least anything prior to 6th grade is rather blurry, there's memories here and there, some clearer than others, some just gone, i know i've had some pretty bad medical trauma all prior to the age of three, but also some beyond that, i know my parents have always fought a lot, i know that i never stayed in one school for longer than a single grade year, i know i had very inconsistent friendships, i know i played pretend or even "played games with myself" including "hide and seek" which was... generally just sad... but yeah, i do have trauma, i js dont know if it's enough to cause what happened? oh! i also started school a year earlier than most, so i turned 10 part way into 5th grade, i know a lot of sources say that this stuff had to happen prior to... 9? 7? it's unclear... but... just letting that be known )

[truly-a-snitch]

hi!! I just found your blog, and honestly love this already..and I really wanna request! So it is alright if I do? And if I could be called 🧸Anon?

so my request is reader who is super blunt..like will say anything that comes to mind about someone (good or bad) and won’t stop unless pulled away from the scene? And they are super judgmental, doesn’t even try and hide it. Reader will side eye everyone and everything? I was hoping for Dazai, Ranpo, chuuya, and kunikida if that’s alright with you!

reader is so mepilled lowk. hi 🧸 anon !!

WARNINGS: none i dont think :3

---

dazai, ranpo, chuuya, and kunikida with a blunt, judgemental s/o

dazai

he thinks its entertaining as hell watching you just speak your mind

like. you straight up have no filter and he loves it

because hes so used to everybody darting around their feelings, acting all nice when he can see in their body language that theyre actually not so cool

but then you came along and you werent like that at all. you just... say what you think. he fucks w that

loves talking shit w you so much. second favorite pasttime other than purposely getting on ppls nerves

unfortunately he does have to pull you away from people, especially because a lot of the people he associates with (or runs into) are. yknow. mafia members.

when its safe to do so, however, he indulges you. he loves to sit with you and just talk about your opinions of other people

over meals especially is his favorite !! he sits next to you on the couch with a takeout container of crab fried rice and listening to you mindlessly bitch about people because they had bad vibes

100% the type to be like nodding along and reacting like "oh shit really ? he said that ? whatd you do. did you hit him with your car ?" ("no") "you should leak his credit card info on reddit"

hes an agent and harbinger of passive chaos what can i say

ranpo

you're literally just like him, if a bit more unfettered. you don't have the same bonds that he does

another fan of your shittalking, he thinks its interesting that you speak your mind !

he loves egging you on especially

ranpo is very similar to dazai in this manner, he likes to lay his head in your lap and play video games while you read the people around you to filth

however where dazai is just sort of There while youre doing it, ranpo actively contributes

he lowk has the best side-eye. like somebody says something sketch and hes just like staring

ranpo cant help but stare at you when ur talking shit which is sort of weird but hes seriously like yes read them to filth honey

he helps you get better at reading people too !!

also he likes that he can get rid of his filter with you and just spitball his thoughts :3 not that he has much of a filter as it is but still

if you get to be too much out in public, he will drag you away from the situation though, if only because hes prioritizing your safety

chuuya

okay. it is very important to remember that chuuya loves you very much.

HOWEVER comma. your little stream of consciousness habit sometimes does grate on him

when it doesn't though. and even when it does actually he does NOT stop you

hes standing there next to you watching the whole situation ready to defend you if somebody tries to get physical (epitome of "say what you want babe i can fight")

he doesnt partake in it himself, but he never stops you. (he supports your rights AND wrongs)

chuuya does like when you talk about dazai though

only if its bad stuff. and only if he gets to talk shit with you

he also has a really good side eye. he doesnt let himself get upset enough to start talking because hes not very good at controlling his volume when he gets mad

if you get yourself in over your head he WILL pick you up and carry you away. no need for his ability either hes goated as we all know

sometimes he does find himself laughing at the things you say. he tries not to. he does. (his laugh is so infectious too)

kunikida

youve seen how he interacts with dazai (or rather how dazai interacts with him)

point is dazai gets on his nerves. we love an annoying bisexual king. you would think he would have a similar attitude towards you but he doesnt !! hes usually on board for your shenanigans

he loves hearing you talk no matter what its about. though he likes when you talk about dazai because its usually how annoying he is

thats usually the only time he joins in to give his two cents

he was a bit taken aback by how blunt you were when you two first met. he probably was already mentally noting which of his relationship ideals you fit and which you didn't (though obviously it doesnt matter now because youre dating him lmao)

you can take the man out of the teaching position but u cannot take the teaching position out of the man when i tell u he LOVES hearing gossip coupled with opinions on said info

plus he gets to hear your ramblings whenever you two are together

the bluntness and lack of filter does catch him off guard on occasion like you say something and he goes PAUSE ?

other than that he likes listening to what you think of HIM because you dont hesitate to point out unhealthy coping mechanisms in him before he accidentally turns them into habits

(plus its a confidence booster when you tell him the things you like)

[rabbitbonesandsheabutter]

Thinking about aftercare with dale.. I feel like he probably hasn’t been with anyone that would put that much thought into it. He would feel so special and cared for. And then get hard again thinking about it and ruin it.

Me too anon, me too

I feel like he avoids letting either of you move for as long as possible, convinced that you’ll want to leave no matter how many times you show him otherwise. A little more pliant post-sex, he’d be less forceful than usual about keeping you in place. Mostly because you’re either at your own home, or he’ll just hide your clothes to stop you from leaving if you’re at his (Ruth’s). Once he lets you go to clean up, he’s shuffling along always within arms reach, staring at you longingly as if he wasn’t just literally inside you. If you get him water and a snack he’s speechless, he definitely feels like it’s something he should be doing for you, even when he’s been more of a sub and so very likely bleeding if you’ve really indulged him. Even just the thought of someone looking after him is so foreign, something he gave up on years ago.

The excitement he’d have when you come back to cuddle properly never dwindles. Whatever position you end up in, he wants at least one of your hands in his hair and a full view of you. When you get comfortable he’s muttering out praises and thankyous. From “you’re so perfect, so good to me” to more creepy shit like “angel, I wish I could climb inside you and live there forever” while he runs his hand down the length of your torso. Both said with the same sweet smile on his face. On a lil bit of a tangent, I think sometimes he just says stuff like that to scare you because he finds it funny, but a lot of the time he really means it and kind of doesn’t get if you find it weird. Like he’d let you live in his ribcage, come on (there’s a joke here somewhere with the LET ME IN NOWWW but i’m too tired to make it). Anywayz, I think he’d still be pretty talkative post-sex, but the topic is more likely to be you or himself. Compared to his usual almost stream of consciousness rambling, it’s much more persona and a little less animated.

He’s going to cry. There’s no avoiding it. For a very long time, any softness and real intimacy you show him will have him in tears. It might only be a few trailing down his face that he wants to ignore and carry on with the moment. Or it all gets too much and he’ll bury his face into you and the tiny tear tracks turn into great big sobs. It all depends on how he feels that day, the kind of sex you had, and just how soft you’re being with him. The nicer you are to him the more likely he is to start balling his eyes out spontaneously, honestly.

After all that, he either falls asleep or stays awake long enough to get hard again from the soft touches and caring attention. More sex as aftercare is for sure something he loves. It’s probably the closest he will ever get to being gentle, and also too blissed out to be a brat. He’s not letting you get up this time because oops! he’s fallen asleep splayed out on top of you, how terrible!

[valtsv]

last serious post for tonight i promise but i think part of the reason i value critical thinking so much (even though i realize that might come as a surprise if your only knowledge of me as a person comes from here, because tumblr is more of an escape slash stream of consciousness collaborative scrapbook for me than a platform for spreading awareness or teaching and learning tool - no offence to anyone who does use it for that, i just prefer to treat it as a hobby myself) is because i grew up both extremely isolated and controlled and prevented from expressing myself while also watching my parents fall hard down the conspiracy theory pipeline and experiencing the creeping horror of growing old enough to understand that and learning more about the world and being exposed to more people and ideas in it and realizing that my fear and frustration around them wasn't just typical teen angst but an entirely reasonable reaction to their increasing capacity to be very dangerous and untrustworthy people.

and like. i did actually try to pull them back. i wasn't very good at it (partly because i was a kid, and partly because i have my own biases and misconceptions and just plain bad ideas that i'll spend my entire life working on unlearning and trying to be aware and receptive to criticism of) but goddamn it did i fucking try. i tried discussing, i tried debating, i tried arguing back and standing up for myself and others, i tried researching and learning and presenting my counterarguments backed up with actual evidence, i tried to get other people to support me despite lacking much in terms of social skills or confidence or people around me who didn't buy into all the same bullshit, or something equally stupid and harmful. i even read the things they sent me and showed me so i could say "look, i approached this with an open mind and genuine good faith, i reflected on it and i used my critical thinking skills and tried to understand, but this is wrong and it's going to get people hurt. it's going to get you to hurt people."

i grew up knowing that as the closest person to them who hadn't fallen into the same trap of facebook radicalization groups and increasingly deranged and cult-like (and i don't use that word lightly) organizations and communities online i had a responsibility to try to protect people by warning them that my parents have the potential to cause a lot of harm and suffering if nothing else. and i failed. i'm not a trained deprogramming therapist and they probably crossed whatever event horizon ordinary people who aren't professionally taught how to combat that shit could have any chance of pulling them back from long ago. but the one thing i still have the ability to do is not let the same thing happen to me. i refuse to just passively let everything i see and hear fester in my brain until it starts poisoning all my thoughts and interactions with the world and people around me, and i'm still willing to try to encourage others to be aware and critical of everything around them so they don't end up following the same path and ending up unrecognizable to their former selves. i'm not perfect, i've definitely made some very bad mistakes and hurt people in ways i can't and don't want to be forgiven for and have many regrets, but i will never let myself end up like that as long as i have the ability to fight back.

[eliounora]

your tags abohtt friends falling in love…. yeah i’ve lost a number of male friends because of this and it’s like given me a bit of a complex??? i don’t want my being nice and friendly and excitement to be gaining a new friend be misconstrued as romantic interest? like no i’m genuinely just excited about this topic lol, and the number who have just stopped talking to me once they gain a partner hurts so much because like oh? you only saw my value as that this whole time. i feel like i have a very specific type too (looks not so much but the have to be cocky and cheeky and funny ig help me) and i really don’t feel romantic attraction all that often or at least as often as these fellas do so it’s just like? idk how to say it’s never going to happen lol,,, i also went to a party the other week and because i was the only single girl and was talking to the only other single lad people were going ‘ooooh you seem to be getting on’ and like yeah we are but not like that sorry, and felt uncomfortable the rest of the night, so like great !

sorry about the grammar and punctuation this was rlly stream of consciousness pmsl

I totally get you and have been through all the same things!! sorry that thing at the party happened to you, that is literally the worst!!! I've also been in those situations and it's always deeply uncomfortable, like I'm being a decent human being, not flirting.

on one hand I respect anybody shooting their shot lmao but it is also deepy frustrating when you repeatedly get asked on dates and confessed to because you were "just" being nice and maybe shared an interest with someone.

I also don't feel romantic attraction a lot and I have a specific type (both in personality and looks, my standards are crazy) so it is baffling how easily some guys go for it. when I was in uni I would get messages from guys who I had only briefly talked to. again, respect for asking, but where did you get the idea I would say yes?

for me I always feel like I get asked out by guys who have felt like they have been largely ignored by women in their life, and then when someone is friendly to them and maybe likes something they're into as well (video games, anime, dnd, etc) they get really excited about it, which I can sympathise with, but guy. maybe I just want to talk about video games with you. maybe I just want a friend.

my complex is definitely that I am quite pretty LMAO and sometimes I feel like that is all the guys see. there could be other girls who are also into all that nerdy shit, but I'm the conventionally pretty one. and then when I tell them no or they get a girlfriend, suddenly talking with me is not that interesting anymore. huh, look how that worked out.

[benjineedssleep]

👋 7 and 11 for the "get to know your fic writer" asks, please!

ohhh these are solid ones. can't believe i actually have answers though LOLOL

here's the og post if anyone else wants to join in on the sillies -> Get to know your fic writer! if you were tagged, question 11 was asking for fic recs and ily <3

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

it comes to me in a vision /hj

no but in all seriousness when i come up with ideas for any kind of story (drabble, one shot, short fic, long fic, doesn't matter) they kind of come with a built in pov. i don't think there's ever been a time when i've struggled to come up with a character who i want to tell the story. i think a part of this has to do with the fact some semblance of conflict comes prepackaged with my ideas and conflict is always tied to a person for me.

like with my current short fic, the premise was always that sam was to have a struggle with the reality of being alone in x amount of time because i see sam as a very family/community oriented person. so i guess in this instance you can say my pov choices not only stem from the story idea itself, but the idea stems from some core aspect of a character and their personality.

does that make any sense? i hope it does D:

11. Link your three favorite fics right now.

the sambastian brainrot is actually insane however:

You've Really Got Me by softwisp

this fic is genuinely one of the most well written and captivating fics i've read in a long fucking time. it's also so fascinating because it's written in this super internal monologue-y stream of consciousness way that i've literally never seen before.

please note this fic is sexually explicit tho lmao

The Sunshine of Your Smile by Andrea_P_Quintell

this fucking fic ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY. i remember reading this and texting my friend at the speed of LIGHT when i finished. i think about it now and then and honestly it's due for a reread. also finding out @shortysus4 wrote this has me *slamming fist on table* /pos y'all are so mf-ing talented holy shit--

Frog Rock by wheneveryouwantto

this was the fic that converted me to the sambastian religion. i don't even know how i started shipping them i just know i read this and something in me went "wait a goddamn minute", saw the possibilities, and went insane. and it's not even like it was the first sdv/sambastian fic i ever read. there were others but this was the fic that flipped the switch. @superpyodan i'm looking at you and i'm bowing LMFAO

YOU ALSO GET BONUSES

i've been low key invested in the little snippets of @superpyodan's oc (kenny) x alex fic and @eemamminy-art's oc (mallory) x alex fic that they both post. i haven't committed to the fics themselves just yet HOWEVER i can say both of their ocs live rent free in my head. one day i will have the mentals to pick up the fics but for now they're bonuses for straight vibes alone XD

also if you're tagged here and had absolutely no idea i fucked with your writing that hard i am SO SORRY-- i've been a lurker for 4 months and only started showing my face like a month ago wahhhh D:

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Hi there! I saw your post and was wondering if I could request a Bucky AU story featuring a soft, protective Bucky with the reader. Thanks so much! ❤️

Let me take the pain away

Bucky Barns x F!reader

Thank you Anon for this request! I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. 🫶🫶

Warnings: small SHIELD cross over/ spoiler. Mentions of reader being kidnapped/ tortured by hydra. Protect Bucky. Soft Bucky. Angsty Bucky. No use of Y/N. Not a lot of physical descriptions of reader

“Do you think you’re ready to talk about what happened?” Your therapist asks.

Your leg bounces rapidly, you knew you couldn’t get away without talking about it forever. It’s been a month, she was generous not to push before now.

“I can try” you breathe out, your head hung low.

“How about we start with some details you remember.”

“Honestly, a lot of the details are fuzzy. I lost pretty big chunks of time”

“It’s a natural reaction for your body to completely shut down and go into survival mode”

“I remember waking up in an abandoned wear-house restrained to a chair. I have no idea how long I was there or how long I’d been out…. Ward and a few people I’d never seen before appeared. I always had a bad feeling about him but I never thought he would have been a part of Hydra.”

“They….they wanted me to give up secret tech the Avengers use. Wanted to know where all the hideouts are, all the safe houses and planes.”

Deep Breath

“When I wouldn’t give them the info…they….they proceeded to try to scare me into it and when that didn’t work. They tortured me. I was in and out of consciousness. I-I have no idea how many days it went on. It could have been days or weeks, they barely gave me food or water. After a certain point i just remember coming too briefly in Visions arms as we were flying. When I woke up again I was in my bed with a finger monitor on.”

“How have you been healing?”

“They told me that Hydra had put a chip in my neck. To try to track where they were moving my body… to try to find out about locations of different head quarters. Apparently it was sharp and placed by my jugular so that it could finish me off if they needed. Antman had to shrink down and go in an incision to help Bruce get it out because it was a dangerous surgery.”

“The scar from that is healing and the rest of my broken bones and cuts are healing, but I was so scared… I’m still so scared.” You say, tears starting to stream down your face.

“I’ll stop you there and we can pick this up next week, you’re making real progress that you should be proud of.”

—————————————————————

-The day they found you-

“Let me see her!” Bucky shouted

“She’s going into surgery, you shouldn’t see her like this” Tony pressed

“Why wouldn’t you tell all of us that she was even found?”

“Because we didn’t and still don’t know if she’s going to make it”

“Well then let me see her if she’s not going to make it!”

“They can’t stop the surgery, it’s very dangerous and if the smallest move is done wrong she will die on the spot. So please just go sit down”

“Goddamnit Stark don’t talk to me like I’m a child, when my best friend is fucking dying” Bucky snarls as he pushes a bunch of papers off the table.

“Get a hold of yourself Bucky!” Tony shouts after him as he’s walking away.

“I’ll go talk to him Tony, he’s just worried. You do understand that right?” Steve says going after him.

Steve finds Bucky pacing outside of the compound.

“He’s something else you know that! The fact that they moved most of us here, didn’t tell us they found her and then just showed up with her. And then expect none of us are going to want to see her, it’s fucking bull shit Steve”

“I know, trust me I get it Bucky. But I understand them not wanting to get our hopes up. She’s in really bad shape, she’s on her death bed. They’re just trying to do what they can as quickly as they can”

Bucky let’s out a groan, raking his hands over his face.

“I love her…” Bucky says looking over at Steve.

“And the thought of not being able to tell her that….I don’t know if I’ll recover from that, from losing her.”

——————————————————————

Back to present day

“You should be making her come out here if she wants to eat. She can’t just keep hiding in her room. You also should stop sleeping on a cot outside of her room.” Natasha chides

“She will come out when she’s ready. Christ Nat it’s only been 2 months, she’s been through a lot. Atleast I know she’s eating if I bring her food.”

“I wasn’t able to protect her in the first place, so im sure as hell going to make sure im there to protect her now. She was there for me when I was recovering from Hydra. Because that’s what you do when you care about someone. So I don’t know, maybe mind your own business”

Knock Knock

“C-come in” your voice is so meek and tried. If Bucky wasn’t listening for it he would of missed it.

The dim lighting of your room casts a soft warm hue over everything. You’re curled up in bed facing away from him as he quietly comes further into your room.

I’d give anything for her to just look at me, to let me take all her pain away

“I brought you dinner, you might not be hungry but I’ll put it on your desk for you to have when ever you want.”

“Thank you Bucky” you said turning your head only slightly to make sure he heard you.

Bucky was your best friend and if you were being honest with yourself the love of your life. But you couldn’t bare the thought of him seeing you like this, The terrified shell of a person you were before nearly dying at the hands of Hydra.

Bucky couldn’t help but sigh in relief when he hears you getting up and going to your desk almost as soon as he closes the door. And he can’t help but smile when he hears you whisper “my favorite” when you see what’s for dinner tonight.

Bucky jolts awake to the sounds of you crying out. He scrambles off the cot and to your door way in seconds. He opens the door to find you reaching out grasping at something in your nightmare.

“No please… don’t hurt him…Bucky no” you cry out.

Bucky kneels down next to the bed

“Shh- shh. It’s ok, I’m here with you. Your safe, I’m safe, I’ve got you” he says smoothing this hand up your arm up to your face brushing the hair away to cup your face. He traces your cheek bone back and forth with his thumb until your cries stop and your breathing dips back down to normal.

“Bucky…don’t go please… I don’t want to be alone” you whispered through a broken sob as he was sitting there quietly mentally unwilling to leave your side.

“I’m never leaving your side again I’m right here”

“W-will you lay with me?” You ask nervously

“Of course I will”

As soon as Bucky gets settled in your bed your clinging to each other like your lives depend on it. Your face buried in the crook of his neck, his head resting on yours, his arms wrapped tightly around you.

“I thought I was never going to see you again. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there to protect you when you needed me”

“Bucky” you sobbed.

“I was so scared. Scared of what they’d do to you or any of the team. They forced me to watch these videos that showed terrible things happening to you. It took me so long to realize they were fake. But-but I though for most of the time I was captured I thought you were dead. The only thing that got me through was thinking about you”

“I never thought I’d see you again to say this but I love you”

[archeolatry]

Recently I've been trying to remind myself to take in more "slow media" (akin to the "slow food" movement)- less content, more longform art. I've dusted off a very old list of films that I haven't seen but should, gleaned from the AFI Top 100. Some of it is patience-testing, from musicals (My Fair Lady) to epics (Lawrence of Arabia). Most of it is stuff that didn't necessarily appeal to me initially but is one of those Movies One Should Watch: From Here to Eternity or The Wild Bunch. And some of them are shameful, glaring gaps from the days before you could instantly stream gigabytes of data per second through a screen and into your faceholes. A film of the latter variety is The Third Man.

I watched it last night to keep from doomscrolling and doom-refreshing. (A strange and fascinating choice, in retrospect.) I had heard the above speech before, but in the context of the film it hits even harder. It's not exactly true —Germany invented the cuckoo clock, for one thing— but this speech, as well as others most of Orson Welles' film-defining dialogue, shows you just what kind of man Harry Lime is.

Like the protagonist, we're swayed by Harry's charisma even as we are repulsed by his words. By vastly oversimplifying a paradigm-shifting period in human history and adding a little rosy hindsight, what Harry's saying almost makes sense in a 'big picture' kind of way. But when you find out how Harry made his money and the human toll it took, the picture becomes much, much smaller. It's a great promise to think that hard times may make you into another DaVinci, but it is perhaps more likely that you'll simply be poor and die of the plague.

Relatable, right?

I guess what I'm saying is this: Watch a classic film. Really watch it. Even if that actor or director is "problematic". Put your phone away, even if you feel the urge to look up something that you think will clarify an aspect of what you're watching. Be discomforted. Ask what the film is trying to say. Read or watch The Celluloid Closet. Try to see what's between the lines. Buy physical copies of media you treasure. Put it in your memory where it can't be deleted from collective consciousness. So many classic films —Spartacus and High Noon, just to name a few— were allegories necessitated because of The Hays Code. And whatever censorship Project 2025 has coming down the pike means the great possibility that something like the Hays Code may exist again. Media literacy is going to be more important than ever. You will be forced to learn the differences between queerbaiting and queer coding, because coding might be the most queerness you get. Sometimes ancient Rome is just ancient Rome, and sometimes it's Hollywood under a combination of self-preserving, self-enforced guidelines and government witch hunting overseen by a petty tyrant.

We've seen this shit before.

[crushedsweets]

How did Nurse Ann die in your au??

She's one of my faves and I rlly want to hear your take on her backstory

-💉anon

PERFECT QUESTION OK. ok . man ok. i have a lot to say cw for abuse, torture, kidnapping, etc. typical creepypasta style stuff

annemarie mia was born into a rowdy family in NYC. She had two older brothers & one younger brother. each were 1-3 years apart. Her older brothers were pretty cruel to her and her little brother. she turned it right back onto her little brother. biting, spitting, smothering him in his sleep, stealing his food so he goes hungry, cutting him. she'd been so mean since he was so little, she's threatened to kill him so many times, so he kept it to himself. he was beyond happy when, at 18, she moved out without a word.

by 27, annemarie was a neet. no job, school, social skills - she was unpleasant to be around, really snappy and bitchy and generally had a nasty attitude. cut off her entire family just because she didn't want to deal with the emotional labor. went through some pretty difficult shit to make a living.

and not that anyone really asked how she owned a decent little home in the more rural parts of tuscaloosa county, but she'd attribute it to inheritance, generational shit, the sort. she would be lying

she went by 'nurse ann' online, hosting a 'red room' service on the dark web thats exactly what the urban legend entails. what made her stood out is that she preformed in a dominatrix style, fitted with leather straps, studs, whips, corsets- had a generally more 'sexy' atmosphere to it. her audience liked the way she followed some sort of hospital roleplay half the time with the nurse dress, medical equipment, syringes, etc.

again, its an urban legend, but her red room is basically taking donations alongside requests for certain torture methods on her victim. depending on the price, she could cut off some fingers, use acid, rip out their teeth, skin them, whatever the fuck her audience could ask for - and she has quite the fanbase, too. most of her streams lasted days, sometimes she'd turn it off and come back, sometimes she'd just leave the victim there writhing on camera the entire night. even after they died, she'd dissect them to keep up the nurse persona, making a whole show of it - showing off her body and her sadism all in one. she wanted to make the most money she could

she mostly acquired her victims from dirty, dingy bars where she'd drug whoever she wanted to bring home. drag them into her truck, dump them into her basement way out in the middle of nowhere, set up her camera, shimmy her way into some leather, and make thousands in a single night. she typically preferred men, but if enough people paid for her to bring in a woman, she would.

very very very rarely she'd let an audience member interested in their own murder, an autassassinophiliac, come onto her stream. it'd be a whole ordeal, they'd have to already send a fucking massive sum of money before she even considers it. always brings a fully loaded gun, drugs that she expects them to take right in front of her, cuffs, so on and so forth - too much work and too much risk most of the time, hence the rarity of this occasion.

she fucked up one day. quickly, the man over powered her & beat her unconscious. she woke up in a completely unfamiliar location, hung by her hands like she was meat at a butchers. she was dressed in a shitty nurse outfit, and a camera was set up right in front of her.

what happened to her that night was karma. he dismembered her on camera, with many of her own fans waiting for the footage of him taking out her left eye, her hands, her arms, her legs. the only reason he didn't live stream was because he had no signal.

she slipped in and out of consciousness for the first portion of her torture, until she began to bleed out. she died when he began setting up the tools so he could stitch her right back up and make a doll of her, keep something to keep the 'fans' happy.

he brought her to an abandoned hospital in the middle of a forest. her murderer didn't fully know where he even brought her. slenderman was not very happy about all the mess he made

kate, coming from a mine less than a mile from the hospital, was notified that a human was in the forest. after a short sprint, she begins stalking through the hospital as the man is finishing up his work.

theres a bit of a chase between the two, until kate does her job and kills him with a random weapon he left around.

kates not really paying attention to annemarie's corpse, she's just dragging the mans body somewhere for her to dispose. it takes a couple hours for kate to get it handled, and by time she's coming back to the hospital to deal with annemarie, she gets the shit scared out of her when the woman is walking around. stumbling and already rotting, but walking nonetheless. even introduced herself as 'nurse ann'.

kate had to get that figured out cuz it was really freaky.

anyway, zalgo had a part in ann's "revival." he's another entity trapped in slendermans forest, similar to the operator but significantly weaker. he keeps infecting corpses and bringing them back, partly hoping they can be used as puppets (but he fails to get into their head) and partly trying to cause trouble for slenderman.

he can only bring back people who die in the forest who aren't killed by proxies slenderman/the operator, since the corpses are 'locked' otherwise

but yea :3 she's fun