#constantine allen

[lovelyballetandmore]

Brady Farrar | Constantine Allen | Aran Bell

[nightingale-prompts]

Danny lives in a horror movie-DC x DP prompt

Based on my favorite book series "tales from the gas station"

It's not every day that a mission requires the league to travel to middle America in a bid to obtain a highly cursed artifact but it certainly is today.

Locating the Seal of Silent Ashes was a task usually given to Justice League Dark but Constantine was currently busy. So that meant it was left to the poster boys to get this done. They dressed in civilian attire to investigate the last location of the seal starting with the first building on the edge of town. A small dusty gas station near the woods.

The inside had an awful smell, like death and cleaning fluid. The lights gave off a greenish-blue tint. Rats could be seen out of the corner of your eyes. Most of the chips were offbrand and crappy.

Behind the counter was the teenage boy chewing gum. He looked up at the group before going back to reading his book. He had clearly seen better days but didn't show signs of caring about the state of his hair or bags under his eyes. He drank his coffee.

The air felt off.

"Hey kiddo, do you mind giving us directions?" Clark started.

The kid narrowed his eyes as he popped his gum.

"You're not from here. That or you're from that cult in the woods. Listen I'm not joining. Seriously, cosmic nihilism and fatalism sounds doomed. Hey wait-" the teen checked his notes " No, the cult killed themselves in that mass suicide 2 weeks ago. I forgot, sorry."

The teen didn't say anything else as he went back to his book.

The horrified look of the adults shared was almost hilarious. At least to the teen if he looked up.

"Oh, and stay out of the woods. I don't want the police to come back and ask about who saw you last. Seriously if whatever is in there tears you apart I won't feel bad. I put those signs out forever ago and if I get one more girl covered in blood running in here screaming about her dead friends I'll get a headache." The teen shrugged turning the page.

"What do you mean?! Why would-?! Who's killing people?!" Barry asked frantically as Bruce serched for more reports of missing people in the area.

"I don't know. Why would I know? If you want to go in the cursed forest go ahead. I mean that's how they all die. It isn't my job to stop you. My job is to sit here and watch this store." The teen huffed in annoyance.

Before anymore questions were asked the signal of the radio was disrupted and a demonic howl screeched through the radio.

"God damnit. That cunt is back. Stay here." The teen growled as he grabbed his bat from under the counter and walked out the back door. "String bean! Get off the fucking roof you bastard! You know that radio is all I have here!"

A chattering laugh like a death rattle was heard and the sound of 2 sets of feet was heard on the roof then they lept down.

"Come here so I can beat you to death!" The teen ran around the building towards the front of the gas station chasing-what the fuck is that!

It was like a human that was twisted to crabwalk on all fours backwards. Its face was contorted into a black stretched-out smile with no teeth. It had no eyes just black sockets. All its limbs were stretched out to an extra meter in length. It was a skinwalker of some kind with chalk-white skin. It was skittering away from the teen who was swinging his bat at its head.

"Stop running! I told you before what would happen if I found you fucking with me again!" The boy meant it as he finally landed a hit and began wacking it over and over it.

The skin walker screeched and tried to run for its life but couldn't.

After reducing the monster into a black puddle the black-stained teen came back inside to sit back down not paying anymore to the monster blood he was covered in.

"Sorry about that. Most of the freaks around here have learned to stay away from this place. That one is new and he doesn't listen. You'd think they'd learn but Sting Bean thinks he can torment me. Petty bastard." The teen sighed "anyways are going to buy anything or are you going to waste what oxygen we get in here with this shitty ventilation.

Diana couldn't help but admire the boldness of the boy. He had no hesitation or fear against the beasts of this area even if was crude.

"Does Constantine have a cousin or something? Just a more angry one" Barry whispered to Hal.

[deadsetobsessions]

Hera stood, waiting for her turn at last. The Queen of the Greek Pantheon traced the lines of neon green, its light reflecting against her true form in a soothing way. She’s no stranger to patience, to waiting. But there were little of those that had the gall to make her wait, and even smaller of that number that she would tolerate such behavior. Regardless, this was the one being she could not afford to offend and so, she waits. Her many forms, her divine self, perceived the room and compared it to her own halls of residence.

Olympus was much more intricate, carved of noble marble and inlaid with countless of priceless metals and gems and divinity. Twelve seats of power atop an engineering wonder, halls adorned with the brightest of the original flames, an hearth that was roaring at Hesta’s skillful hands.

In comparison, this throne room had been changed much since she was last here. Gone were the spikes of terror and screams of the damned. Now… it looked like the most bare throne room she’d ever bore witness to.

And yet, as she waited for the Boy King, Hera could feel the subtle thrum of impossible power. The new king did not flare his will and might like the previous tyrant, and for that, Hera approved. She has had quite enough of living with and under tyrants who cared only for themselves… and their bed achievements whilst failing spectacularly in their marital roles. Zeus was not a good life partner and Hera regretted ever saying yes to him many times in her immortal life. And yet… she loved him still.

The doors opened, and a small figure floated in, flanked by the previous King’s Knight. Perhaps that is what makes this Boy King so dangerous, Hera thought as she dipped into a bow, because he can turn the loyalest to his side.

“Your Majesty,” she greeted, in ghost speak.

“Heya, Hera!” The Boy King greeted her back, before waving the Knight away. Hera marveled, a bit, at the sheer confidence he had to dismiss his knight in her presence. Even the last king kept the knights around to ensure his power was always in display, always unchallengeable. The Boy King could destroy her with a snap of a finger and he knows it. He knows that she knows it.

“What did you need?” The Boy King asked, grin still on place as he floated to her instead of seating himself on his throne. Hera masked the bit of confusion she felt in pursuit of her goal.

“I have come here to ask of you a favor,” she began. “I am aware that… you are fond of this, the earth in which I reside in?”

Hera carefully picked her word. Everybody knows that the new King Phantom had laid claim to not only the Infinite Realms as is normal of his station, but an entire Earth as his haunt. He had the power to do so, she could finally see, now that she was standing before him. It would not do for Hera to get her strings cut because she claimed what is his.

“Sure. Why?” The Boy King tilted his head, narrowing that predator green upon her true form.

“Do you know of the Justice League, my lord?”

“Phantom’s fine,” he waved a hand. “And yeah, sure do! Why?”

Hera tilted her many forms in acknowledgement of the command. She bowed.

“My daughter, of a sort, is Diana Prince. Wonder Woman. She is… in grave danger. We can not exert our influence over a land that does not have our history. I can not interfere and aid her.”

“Oh, you want me to help her?” His tone was exasperated, and Hera spoke even more carefully in fear of offending him.

“Yes, if it pleases you. And it would be most gracious of you should Your Majesty have time to watch over her. I fear the danger will not leave her so quickly.”

There was a brief period of silence before King Phantom sighed. “And if it does not please me to do so?”

Hera looked up and locked gazes with evaluating green. “Then I am afraid I will be breaking a fair bit of cosmic law, King Phantom.”

He laughed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll check up on Wonder Woman.”

Hera blinked her many eyes, peacock feathers spreading in shock at how easily he allowed her favors. She did not even have to beg.

King Phantom turned to leave before pausing. “Hera, if you need help, just ask. Preferably without beating around the bushes next time. Also, Pandora misses you. You might want to hang around for tea later.”

Hera regarded him with the might of her divinity, which was but hardly a spec of his own kindness. The last one had not had her respect. Fear, yes. But never respect But this one…

“Yes, my King.”

“It’s just Phantom.” He shot back as he left, the Knight returning to his side once more.

Hera transformed into a more mortal form. She had not seen Pandora in a long time, the young woman had made quite an impression on her. Perhaps her old friend could be convinced in helping her punch Zeus and ruin her beloved husband’s day. Hera hummed, the green that used to flicker acidly against her divine form now only soothed. A reflection of its owner.

King Phantom is worthy of her regard.

——

Holy shit, a goddess asked him to check on the Justice League! She was super weird about it and talked in a really old way of speaking, but Danny hadn’t had anything to do for the past few days while entering the zone for his annual check up.

Danny waved away Fright Knight and dived into the portal that would take him directly to the Justice League and Diana!

He floated down from the portal, blinking at group of disheveled and injured superheroes surrounded by a group of demons. Belial?

“King Phantom.” Belial rumbled. Danny waved, not noticing the standstill his presence forced.

“Shite.” The British man cursed, drawing on his magic once more.

“King Phantom?” Diana Prince, Wonder Woman, said quizzically.

“Who?” Batman, Batman! That’s actually Batman, rumbled.

“High King of the Infinite Realms. We’re buggered if he decides to help Belial.”

“Wait, like the god of gods, that King Phantom?” Captain Marvel asked. Ancients, why are all of them electrical based? Danny hates electricity.

Danny floated closer to them, grinning in a friendly way before frowning as they tensed up.

“King Phantom. May I ask why you have graced us with your presence, my King?”

“Hey, Wonder Woman! Your mom asked me to babysit you!” He grinned, sharp and mischievous.

“What…?” The Flash asked, zipping to their side. “Her mom? Queen Hippolyta?”

“No, Hera,” Danny said, and watched Wonder Woman straighten at his words.

“The Goddess Hera.”

“Yep!” Danny rocked back on his suddenly formed legs instead of the whisp of a tail he usually kept in the Zone. He was also still floating. Danny sent a wave of ice and froze the rest of the demons in one fell swoop.

“The rest of you can take care of clean up, yes? Diana has to get some snacks, dinner, and then go to bed.” He pushed gently at Diana’s shoulders, nudging her towards the plane. She went willingly, respectful but amused.

——

Bruce, intellectually knowing that’s a king but only seeing a superhero teenager: *fills out mental adoption paperwork*

——

Hera, a goddess, terrified of misspeaking and dying as a result: he’s so strong even though he’s young omg powerful and could end my immortal existence

Danny, an unserious king: golly gee why is she speaking like a Shakespeare novel

——

Hera, thinking Danny’s gonna be dignified: pls watch over my daughter

Danny, who has a clone he sees as a daughter and therefore has no issues babysitting a grown woman: lol snacks, dinner, bedtime

Diana:… usually I’m on the other spectrum of this but it’s from a higher up so… okay?

——

Danny, terrifying gods and ancients: they’re my friends! The power of friendship!

[thecrowmonster]

dc characters as text posts (pt3)

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

Random things I like to hc (part 1)

- Constantine calling Batman "love" anytime.

"Good plan, love. Now, if I may add..."

- Diana constantly fighting the urge to add multiple times in the footnotes of her research papers : "*I know that because I was there."

- Clark feeling some type of way whenever anyone from the Batfam calls him Uncle Clark (he does tear up a little the first few times).

- Anytime Booster would get cancelled for a tweet, he'd go back in time just far enough to prevent from tweeting it. He did that way too many times.

- Barry and Hal being that one best friend duo that are big on PDA. Most of the time during JL meetings, Hal's leg would be intertwined with Barry's.

- Given that the way they usually interact correlates with what he learned about married couples, J'onn assumed for the longest time that Bruce and Clark were spouses.

- Much like how Clark switches off his kansan accent when he's being Superman, Bruce switches off his "posh" accent when he's being Batman.

- Everytime someone mentions (any) Robin, Hal's mind still can't fathom that Batman's sidekick is a literal child.

- Dick is a bisexual flirt in and out of costume.

- Regular occurence : Batman enters the meeting room, sees Booster's stupid expression that's a clear sign he's going to share very stupid ideas, and Batman exits the room without a word. He doesn't come back for the rest of the meeting. After it happened more than once, some of the members get the clue and walk out as well.

- Superman can recite entire movies by heart. Not surprising in and of itself, but surprising that Bruce silently lets him do it over his shoulder when he's working in the batcave. Lets Clark unwind and gives Bruce background noise.

- After multiple complaints, Batman had to soundproof Dinah and Oliver's room in the watchtower.

---------

(Part 2 here )

(Good dad Bruce hc here)

[randomthing13]

I posted again. This is how I imagine some of the League members reacting to John and Billy's relationship. I have more stuff on the way to, so don't worry.

[the-scarecrow-of-aus]

Dating life of an immortal teen

Jazz developed a liminal gift around the time of dannys accident due to exposure.

She starts to suspect since she hasn't grown as much since she was 17, it was so subtle barely anybody noticed: jazz has the gift of longevity and is not ageing as fast.

Unfortunately her parents were among the small number that started to notice and she had to leave 'for college' before they tried any 'experiments' on her (they were always far too quick in suspecting jazz of being a ghost).

So started the continually cycling aliases of Jazz [no last name given] as she tried to live her life travelling around the country.

Occasionally she would meet someone and be happily in their life for a while, before having to move again (either forced or scheduled)

Her secret finally comes out when one of her early ex's recognises her in a photo with their younger co-worker... who then realises another co-worker is also an ex... until most of the group realise they've dated her at one point in their lives... then it gets noticed by their sister organisation who also recognise her.

Now anywhere else this could be humorous except these are no ordinary coworkers...

They're hero's.

Jazz has accidentally been 'Dating' her way through a large chunk of the the justice leagues civilian identities all across america and the world! (Not to mention JL: Dark) she has no idea they were hero's only that they were charming and she was lonely.

now the paranoid members (eg. Batman, the Question, Constantine, wonder woman) are worried she was preying on them and need to investigate.

[thelesbianthespianposts]

going down a non bat superhero tag be like: Batman post, Batman post, Batman post that explicitly belittles the tagged superhero, more disrespect, post that doesn’t even mention the tag but says justice league in it, GOOD POST, good analysis but somehow still about Batman, ship art with Batman, post that has nothing to do with the tag or the fandom, the most incorrect take you’ve ever heard, more disrespect, take based on a spin-off animated show that hated he character, GOOD ART, just a genuinely confusing take, Batman post, Batman post, Batman post.

[grimdarling69]

Another Deaged Dan and Ellie or otherwise known as Crack pt8

John Constantine was unsurprisingly quite used to being tied up. Ever since Batman called him in to inspect that interdimensional portal that reeked of the Infinate Realms, he's been inning around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to stop the end of the world. The portal was just about the worst constructed thing ever. It was running on ectoplasm and soda. From the notes and scribbles he found in the lab. Luthor was going to create a that would have been much safer but ran out of time. So they recreated 'the Fenton portal' he has no idea what that is.

Even Batman, much to his displeasure, has no clue. He's the fucking Batman, the greatest detective in the world and he has no goddamned clue what the fuck that means. Whatever the fuck or whoever the fuck Fenton is he will be torturing them somehow.

God, he needs a drink. He tries to reach his flask in his coat but can't. Because he's fucking tied up in a random ghosts lair.

"Beware! I am the Box Ghost!" Fucking kill him now. How the fuck did this loser capture him. He tricked fucking Satan so many times snd this rectangular obsessed ghost captures him? He's never living this down. He just hopes Zee won't find him before he gets out of here.

Purple smoke seeps in from the ghosts door to his lair. To late.

"Huh?" The stupid ghost questions the smoke and flies toward it.

"Beware!" He yelled and threw his hands up. Obviously, trying to appear scary but only achieving in making himself look like a total dork. God, what an idiot he was. Hurry up, Zee. He's not bloody drunk enough to play damsel in distress.

The smoke turned tangible and wrapped up the befuddled ghost and drags him to the floor. He tries to go intangible, but the purplish ribbons keep top strong a grip on him. He resorts to wiggling around on the floor like a worm. The door is roughly kicked open, and Zatanna struts in.

"Need a hand, john?" She sarcastically asked him. He sighed.

"Just put me out of my misery, please Zee."

"No can do." She uses her magician wand to cut the rope magically and dropped him to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Curse you my knight in shining fishnets.

"Hope you don't mind i brought some company." She said like she'd really care if he did.

"Oh great." He picked himself off the floor, massaging his irritated skin. His head was still spinning from being tied upside down for so long. He stumbled and was caught by a pair of strong arms. He looked up and saw four batears and two frowns.

"Aw batsy, you do love me.. fuck I don't feel good..." He then immediately threw up the measly crackers and some whiskey he had in his jacket for some reason when he was captured by those fuckers last week.

He reached into his coat pocket and grabbed his flask, and took a big swing of the empty flask.

"God fucking damnit!" He cursed and fumbled around for a cigarette finding absolutely nothing. Worst day ever. Or night or whatever the fuck time it is.

"Constantine. What the hell are you doing?" Batman gravelly voice interrogated him. What a tool. He finally takes a glance around his now less spinning surroundings. Zatanna really brought the cavalry in, didn't she?

Red Hood, Red Robin, Signal and Flash younger stood on one side of the room. Wonderwoman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, the older Flash, and Cyborg were on the other.

"What in the bloody hell is this?"

"Nightwing and Robin. Have you found anything?" Diana asked calmly like this was any other day. And they weren't in one of the most dangerous places in the multiverse.

"Yeah, they're trapped in the Far Frozen."

"How are you so sure?"

"Ghosts are stealing food and human items across the earth. Mostly from high magic and death rate areas. Where natural portals are more common." He took a cigarette from Red hoods outstretched hand, ignoring the glare from the others around them. Also ignoring the shove Red Robin gave to his brother and lit the tip with a quick spell. Inhaling and blowing out the smoke is an experienced dance.

"We already know that. We've all tried tracking them and nothing works." Zatanna stated crossing her arms and peering over the brim of her hat questioningly.

"I've got a source. Did some bounty hunting for the resident ghost of a dead warden, he wanted some ghosts locked back up in his prison." He pointed at the still wiggling ghost "This one here was the first one I locked up a week ago after I left those demons in the dust and he got a lucky revenge shot in."

"How do you the warden is trustworthy?" The older Flash questioned. He looked nervous like he was waiting for something.

Another shoe to drop was just what he needed.

"Because i got it verified by the Lord of all time. He told me to hurry that'll I'll need to be 'Beware of poisonous thorns '. I'm guessing he just means they're guarded by a nature ghost or something. Weird for the antartic, but they are ghosts, so nothing really has to make bloody sense around here." Taking another drag from his, smoke, and he takes a mental stock of the few things they'd need to make it there.

"We need to go now. How do we get there?" Batman grabbed his arm and started pulling him toward the door.

"Slow your roll, luv. Do you want to die? We've got a lot of things to do if you want even a chance to survive that bloody place. Forget even making it there."

"Like what?" The older Flash asked suddenly standing with Batman and wonder woman.

"Like getting some bloody jackets."

----------

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock beeps loudly in his ear. He smacks it without thinking. So early.....getting up and walking to the bathroom swiping his phone on the way. Doing his business and brushing his teeth.

He scroll through his phone. Bruce wanted to talk, Jason was mad at him, Tim was pissed at a case, Babs missed seeing him. He walks out the bedroom after pulling on some random shorts. He yawns loudly and open the cabinets grabbing cereal.

He eats the cereal slowly while responding to messages. Looks like the internet isn't working very well nothings going through...weird with a waynephone but not impossible it wasn't as bat-grade as his other tech anyway. He'll fix it later. His sons bedroom door opens.

"Richard? Where are we?"

"Richard? Since when do you call your old man by his first name? Not very proper of you baby wing." He joked ruffling his hair. Damians face was rippled with confusion.

"Your not my...father...oh my ancients...fuck-" He looked around the room for another second then turned back around and ran into his room slamming the door closed.

"Damian..!" He tried the door, but he immediately heard the lock turn. He knocked on the wood, hoping Damian would respond.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" He tried to talk to him through the door. He stuck his ear to the door and could hear rustling noises and swears and something Diseree?

He grabbed his lockpicks from their usual places. He picked the lock methodically.

"Diseree! Fix this now! Or I'll put you down!"

"Ughhhh I'm only granting your wish!" A echoey voice unbound by a physical plane.

A genie(?) Flew up through the floor she wore blue robes and with a bored expression snapped her opaque fingers and everything went dark.

------------

Everything hurt. Before he could even wake up he was aware of immense pain. His chest hurt and his eyes were to heavy to even attempt at moving. They felt heavier than his fortress key. He vaguely recognized the bed he was laying on to be his recovery cot with the solar panels in the watchtower med bay. He tried to think of what led to this but he couldn't think of anything. It hurt to think god his head was pounding like he went through a skyscraper all the way from the top to the basement and further.

"Clark? Can you hear me?" Lois? What was she doing here? He tried to open his eyes but they must have been glued shut.

"Stay still, dad..." Jon? Jon...and him...were fighting but over what? Something to do with Robin, maybe. He can't remember, and it hurts to try to sift through his shattered memory.

"Go back to sleep dad. We'll be here when you wake up." Kon, he remembers telling him something but what was it? Be prepared? No he says that all the time it's something different...its gotta be something new...God if only the lights weren't so bright maybe he could open his eyes. Speak. Ask him. I know it's important, what did I tell you?

He tries to open his mouth, and all he hears is beeping and unfamiliar voices. He thinks he can hear Lois tell him to calm down? He is calm. in fact, he feels too calm, like the calm before the storm. Ugh, if only that obnoxious beeping and shouting would stop. This time, he welcomes the embrace of darkness. Anything to escape that horrid shrieking.

------------------

"And why should I help you?" The large green and pink alien looking woman leered at Constantine. This was a bad idea, a terrible one, actually. Why did you listen to Batman, Wally? He should have just zoomed around this dimension instead of almost killing them by begging for help from dead aliens! Why would Dora the Explorer or whatever her name is want to help us?

"Because I've brought you your cousin, Diana of Themyscira?" Constantine told the amused tall as fuck lady. She was huuuuge-not in a rude way of course. Gid he's an idiot atleast he's to scared to speak. He's the Flash, faced of million of scarier foes but something about her just makes every hair on his body stand in fear. She kinda reminds him of Wonder Woman.

Wait, did he just say cousin-wait? Is he trying to sacrifice her to this random alien?? By telling her she's its cousin?? Is he telling the truth she is kinda of wearing armor like Wonder Woman, but still...

"Greeting cousin, I've heard many stories of your great cleverness." WW said to her. He guesses he was telling the truth if she's going with it.

"And of my great naivety and stupidity? You have been poisoned by spending all your time with these mortals if you think false flattery will endear me to you. What will you give me if I help and don't say your soul. I know who you are, John Constantine, and your reputation precedes you even here." She spoke with an even tone, but he could feel the power in her words as she toyed with the small box in her lap. Running her fingers across its lid and body. Tracing the beautiful woodwork.

"A favor. If you know of my reputation, you must know of my skills." Constantine quickly controlled himself and attempted to convince her again.

"I suppose it would be nice to hold a favor from such a skilled magician..." She appeared deep in thought, and from his position to the side, he could see Constantine's eye twitching from being called a magician. This was pretty fucking funny actually. He just hopes Constantine controls himself.

"You wanted a way to the Far Frozen, why? Does it have anything to do with the rumored lockdown over there?" Shit she wasn't convinced this was less funny....

"There's a lockdown...? That wasn't-"

"Calm yourself, magician. I have been invited for diplomatic reason recently and j suppose I could invite a few of you but not all of course. Tell me why you need to go there and ill put us on the list?" She praticaly purred the last part she knew she won.

"We-"

"Are looking for my sons." Batman interupted WW and what the hell was he thinking? Giving information to people we have no clue about! He was Batman he'd kick people out of the Justice League for that and now he's doing this!

"Your littlest one is in great pain. Burdened and heavy, how will you relieve that?" She pondered aloud her voice seemed to echo against the marble.

"He is my son. I will do anything to help him-them." Batman answered truthfully with full conviction.

The woman hummed thoughtfully. "He told me that would be your answer but can you keep your word. Can you accept that the son you lost will not be the son gained?"

"I thought The Lord of Time was the riddle fanatic?" Constsntine joked and the woman turned to him ever amused. "Well i enjoy some from time to time." She chuckled at her own joke and turned away toward her maze the one they came through. It wasn't a difficult one at all hardly newsworthy but he had a guess she had something to do with the skill level.

"A friend of mine has a beautiful ship. He would be delighted to escort mortals across the Realms."

"There are no large enough ectoplasmic pools for a ship large enough to hold our party. Mortals need more space than ghosts. We cannot simply hibernate like your kind." Zatanna answered this time he was wondering when she'd show back up. She had left in a flurry of magical nonsense for something but he didn't really understand her explanation.

"Ah but his ship does not sail the water but the sky." She reached into a pouch secured onto her leg below her fancy Greek skirt , which probably had a fancy special name, she pulled out a white whistle. It had runes and symbols all over it and they glowed a bright neon green. She blew into it but no sound came from it.

"Sounds broken-" He manged to whisper to Vic right next him. Victor glanced at him about to speak but a sudden loud crashing over head. He crashed to the floor while the gaint alien Greek ghost laughed at all of them. He looked up to the sky the large pirate ship with skeletons hanging out the side of it peering them. What the....

"Amen Auntie Dora! You called?" A young boy dressed in pirate gear complete with a skeleton parrot on his shoulder.

"It's 'ahoy' ugh why do even I try?" The pirate groaned loudly.

This is going to be one interesting voyage...

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 7 - "Do you recognise this?"

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: G

Warnings: -

"So, who did it?" Bruce asked, eyes narrowed at the children before him. Clark was next to him trying once more to persuade Bruce that it was unnecessary to go after the kids like this.

The 'kids' in question were the assembly of three of his children, Clark's child and clone and a couple of their respected friends.

"Father, I do not know what you are talking about." Damian piped up offended and crossed his arms. Next to him Jon scratched the back of his head in mild confusion and Dani despite not knowing what was going on but still glaring in defiance at Bruce.

"If this is about our prank war it was definitely not necessary to interrogate our friends too." Tim added looking every bit like he would be somewhere else than here. Kon and Bart were with him. Kon looked rather unsure while Bart had gone and gotten himself popcorn for whatever was going to happen.

"Look old man, how was I supposed to know Replacement would trigger the glitter bomb inside the Batmobile. I already cleaned that up!" Jason put in his two cents, Roy eyeing the other with a raised eyebrow.

Bruce stared at them quietly, not saying a word as Clark continued to fuss next to him to not make it a big deal and that a deep clean would surely fix everything.

"It's not your prank war I am talking about. Alfred will deal with you about the chaos you caused." The three respected batkids swallowed audibly while their friends chuckled. "No, what I am asking is which one of you decided it was a good idea to dye Clark's hero suit and my cape pink."

"Wait, someone actually did that to Dad?!" Jon piped up wide eyed as Dani broke out laughing causing Damian to eye the ghost girl with narrowed eyes and suspicion.

"Who would…" Tim started but didn't finish as his mind came up with possible suspects. Kon on Bart next to him went onto their phones, trying to search up pictures of Superman in a pink hero suit.

Jason and Roy broke out laughing too, voicing their respect to whoever managed to do that.

Bruce's eye twitch at the children's reaction. He then proceeded to pull out an opened can of pink dye and placed it on the table in perfect view of everyone. "Do you recognise this? Jason? Tim?"

"WHY ME?!" They both cried out in protest and Bruce narrowed his eyes on the two. "Jason, your last prank on Tim involved a glitter bomb with pink dye, the Batmobile's seats are still strained pink. Tim, you dyed Damian's shirts pink a couple days ago at the beginning of your prank war."

"So it was you Drake! You are going to pay for this!"

"And I will do it again if you ever touch my laptop again, Demon Brat!"

"How does that even prove that one of us did it!"

"It doesn't!"

"Do you think there might be someone else that fell victim to the pink dye in the JL?"

"Maybe?"

"Why would someone even go after Clark? He has nothing to do with our prank war."

"Jason, my friend. You are indirectly admitting that you would dye Batman's cape pink."

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose as the children before him (he ignored that at least two of them were over 20, they were children period) started to argue among themselves while Damian's newest friend the Daughter of Phantom, who recently joined the Justice League Dark, was by now rolling on the ground laughing.

Not far from the interrogation Danny sat by a table next to Alfred snacking on some of the best cookies he had ever gotten to eat. He had originally come by to hang out with Tim, Kon and Bart but now he was threaded to some A+ entertainment, Dani was clearly enjoying.

"You recognize the can, don't you Mr. Daniel? I believe you accidentally left it behind in the cave." Danny side eyed the butler next to him and grinned into his next bite of a cookie. "Supes deserved it."

The man hummed and Danny smiled as he was offered another cookie. "I believe I know why but would you please elaborate on why Master Bruce also got targeted? I will most likely be the one who will have to wash out the cape."

The half ghost didn't say anything at first before shrugging. "Kon wasn't the only one who deserved some Justice for how he had been treated in the past. I know they get along now but still… a little pay back for past mistreatment wouldn't hurt anyone right?"

"Ah, so it was for Mr. Conner and Master Jason." The butler smiled in understanding, pushing over a box of take away cookies to Danny. "May I suggest that next time you seek out justice for the boy, that there are other -embarrassing- ways to achieve it."

Danny only gave the man a feral grin as he hopped off the chair with the box in hand. It was time to release the children of Bruce's interrogation. He would just put the blame on Constantine somehow, like a spell gone wrong instead of actual dye being the cause. The man owned him anyway since he had gotten most of his soul back aside from a couple of pieces he was still negotiating over in the Ghost Zone.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

There's no "I" in Team but there are two in Migraine

Bruce had no issue with teamwork, despite what his children and colleagues might think. Teamwork was great. If done properly it was efficient, and it was good to have backup. Competent backup, at least. 

Bruce helped found the Justice League. Obviously he was a supporter of teamwork. 

However. 

Some teams he really could have happily lived out his life without them ever existing. 

He had a list. 

One: Dick and Clark Kent

Clark had been the first hero he had introduced Dick to. It was a move he had regretted ever since. 

He was glad the two of them got along, of course, but did they have to get along so well? 

He could withstand torture but the two sets of sad puppy eyes attacking at the same time was on another level altogether. 

Two: The Titans

Pros: Dick was making friends. 

Cons: Dick was either away with his friends, or they came home with him. Really, all Bruce wanted was to spend one week without putting out any fires caused by teenage superheroes. Literal fires, not metaphorical ones. Well, actually there were plenty of those kind too. 

Three: Dick and Jason

When Bruce first brought Jason home he wasn’t sure how Dick was going to react. And so maybe he panicked slightly and didn’t end up telling him for three weeks. In his defense, the voicemail he had left asking Dick to call him soon was left before the newspaper article came out. 

Perhaps not his best moment. 

Eventually, though, the two boys were introduced. 

There was some yelling that took place, mostly directed at him, but other than that things seemed to go rather smoothly. Assuming, that is, that smoothly meant neither of them seemed to care about getting to know the other one, and mostly kept to themselves and their own activities. 

And then, four months, two weeks, and five days after Jason first came to the manor, Bruce came home to discover the two of them had bonded over some unspoken activity that neither were willing to divulge. Alfred knew and didn’t disapprove so it couldn’t be that bad, but from then on out it was…well…

Bruce began the daily habit of checking his blood pressure. 

Four: Talia al Ghul and Lois Lane

Bruce didn’t know how the two of them had met and he didn’t want to. See, Dick, he was okay with not knowing things. Sometimes. In this one instance, at least. 

Five: Dick and Slade Wilson

Worst three weeks of his life. 

Six: Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn

He was happy for them, he really was. He just wished they could be happy together somewhere less structurally damaging. 

Seven: Jason and Harley Quinn

Explosion therapy was not a thing, despite both their arguments otherwise. They didn’t even give him a Joker effigy to blow up. They could have at least asked. He would have happily paid for that one and all the rest of them. 

Eight: Tim and Barbara

 He wasn’t that old. He knew how to use his computer. 

Nine: Jason and Cassandra

Too competent. They should never have been allowed on the same team for any game ever. If he heard one more complaint from any of his other children he was going to seriously lose it. 

And then there was that one time the two of them disappeared for a week and no one, not even himself or Clark, could find them. They had turned back up with grins and minimal injuries, and Bruce had tried to not investigate, he really had. But he needed to know, regardless of how much he regretted it later. (A lot. He regretted it a lot.) 

Ten: Dick, Jason, and Constantine

Bruce hated magic. 

Eleven: Jason, Diana, and Barry Allen

No one knew how or why the three of them had teamed up. It had been four months of secret meetings and pointed looks and minor heists that couldn’t technically be traced back to them but Bruce knew. And then there was the regular day-to-day hero-ing. Diana, he could understand. That’s what she did. Jason? Had always been vocally opposed to getting too involved with the Justice League, but had also always looked up to Diana, so maybe that was understandable? Allen? The man was retired. And he wasn’t suddenly out of retirement for some reason, no. He was just there to “lend a hand” to the other two. 

At least Bruce could comfort himself in knowing Jason was spending time with two respectable individuals. It was certainly a step up from his unfortunately ongoing acquaintance with Rayner. 

Twelve: Stephanie and Hal Jordan 

They should never have been allowed to meet. It was a disaster. For Bruce. 

Jason had been the one to introduce them, as he had proudly let Bruce know after the first breaking news cycle hit.

Thirteen: Duke and Damian 

Bruce would have told Jason how thankful he was that he was acting as the moderating adult influence with those two if he didn’t think Jason would start doing the opposite out of spite. 

Jason would make a great parent someday. 

Bruce would love a six month vacation. 

Fourteen: Alfred and Martha Kent

He didn’t really need to explain this one, right? Everyone could just move on, continue with their lives and so on and so forth. 

Fifteen: Damian and Batcow

Because a boy needs a cow and a cow needs an emotional support duck, turkey, cat, dog, rabbit, goat, and raccoon. Apparently. Tim and Jason were, in Bruce’s opinion, far too enthusiastic to provide research as evidence whenever needed (or not needed, as was usually the case). 

[nana-mizu-shiki]

"I won't spill that you almost called the CPS on him."

I love the misunderstanding/miscommunication trope so much. Like. S o M u c h.

"....He did have a good reason to stand us up."

Bruce really should have asked Danny for more details.

[morgangalaxy43]

This is totally Iris with Barry and Hal or Zatanna with John and King Shark

[jinkoph03nix]

So. I made some bad decisions and a DC comics Formula 1 AU is the result of them. More info under the cut I guess lol.

TEAMS

Note: this is a no capes AU, and all sponsor companies are neutral parties because of it.

Wayne Industries (makes engines)

Bruce “Batman” Wayne

Tim Drake

Damian Wayne (backup)

Dick Grayson (former driver, no longer associated)

Jason Todd (former driver, retired due to injury)

Lexcorp (makes engines)

Clark “Superman” Kent

Conner Kent

Jon Kent (backup)

Queen Industries (makes engines)

Oliver “Green Arrow” Queen

Roy “Arsenal” Harper

Artemis Crock (backup)

Star Labs (makes engines)

Barry “Flash” Allen

Wally “Flamebird” West

Bart “Impulse” Allen (backup)

Atlantis (uses Star engines)

Kaldur’ahm/Jackson “Manta” Hyde

Garth “Tempest” Ranzz

Arthur “Aquaman” Curry (former driver, retired, now team lead)

Themyscira (uses Wayne engines) 

Donna Troy

Cassie Sandsmark

Diana “Wonder Woman” Prince (former driver, retired, now team lead)

Lantern Corps (uses Lex engines)

Hal Jordan

John Stewart

Kyle Rayner (backup)

Zatara (uses Wayne engines)

Zatanna Zatara

John Constantine

Kord Industries (makes engines)

Ted Kord

Jaime Reyes

Hawks (uses Lex engines)

Carter Hall

Shayera Hol

DYNAMICS

TEAM

Hawks and Zatara are relatively low performing teams, but have loyal fans that root for them as underdogs.

Kord makes its own engines but has only started recently, and used to be a relatively low performing team but has begun to make progress.

Lantern Corps, Themyscira, and Atlantis are all solidly performing and occasionally make it to top spots.

Wayne, Lex, Star, and Queen are all top performers, and all make their own engines. 

Wayne tends to perform the best overall and has the largest fanbase, but also has some of the most vocal critics, including some coming from inside the house.

INTERPERSONAL

Dick Grayson used to drive for Wayne but is now retired and fully supports his boyfriend Wally West's team, which initially caused a scandal when they started dating.

Jason Todd also used to drive for Wayne but got seriously injured during a race, prematurely ending his career. Nowadays, he's mostly out of the public spotlight.

Jason is also secretly dating Roy Harper, but the public has not found out yet.

Kaldur'ahm and Garth have the fiercest intra-team rivalry in the league, but it mainly stays on the racetrack.

Tim Drake and Conner Kent have the most public inter-team rivalry, but also regularly flirt with each other. The internet eats it up.

Roy and Wally have somewhat of a rivalry, but it’s less obvious to those on the outside.

Hal and Barry also have a bit of a rivalry during races, but are close friends outside of them.

Tim Drake and Damian Wayne have a very big rivalry but because Damian is consistently a backup driver, it normally does not gain much publicity. They, however, do not limit their rivalry to the race track.

Donna and Dick used to be rivals, but are now good friends and work together helping F1 Academy.

Bruce and Clark are constantly rumored to be secretly dating, but these rumors are unfounded (at least for now). They do not consider each other rivals beyond being the two drivers consistently vying for the top spot in races.

Jaime and Bart are really close friends, but rarely race each other because Bart is a backup driver. They hang out a lot in the paddock, however, and fans love their interactions.

Arthur and Diana used to have a massive rivalry, and it has continued into them both being team managers.

People speculated that Dick would’ve been contracted by Lex if he had kept driving, as he was pretty good friends with Clark especially.

PERSONAL

Bruce and Clark are hailed as the best two drivers on the track currently, and both have massive fan bases.

All of the Wayne drivers tend to be more serious/argumentative over comms, and are very competitive.

Bruce and Tim are a powerhouse for racing strategy, and their calls are almost always the right ones, even if their pit team doesn’t always trust Tim’s calls yet.

Bruce gets called a DILF a lot, but doesn’t know what it means, so he ends up accidentally playing into it

Dick Grayson used to be a fan favorite and The Eye Candy for the league. He was majorly respected by his team and fans because of his smarts and because he had a far more approachable personality than the rest of the Wayne drivers.

Since Dick left, he has functionally become an Instagram boyfriend for Wally. He also helps out with some of the F1 Academy/driver talent finding programs in addition to helping support Star.

Jason Todd used to be a very competitive driver and got a lot of fans because of his creative shit talking before he retired.

The Lex drivers are known for being very friendly both on- and off-track.

Conner tends to be reckless while driving, which has resulted in several times where Tim has gotten mad at him because of it.

Conner is very much a PR liability and will say the most random and out-of-pocket shit when you least expect it.

Conner is seen as a very “cool” and fashionable driver, which has gotten him a lot of fans.

Tim and Conner are both fan favorites and projected to be the spiritual replacements for Bruce and Clark when they eventually retire.

Bruce and Clark are both speculated to be preparing to retire soon, but still haven't done so.

Clark presents himself as more of a goofy dad off-track, and the other Lex drivers usually rope him into doing social media stuff.

Roy Harper and Artemis Crock both are highly competitive drivers and are the most likely to be guilty of swearing over the radio, which their fans all find funny as shit.

There’s also a very dedicated portion of the fanbase that finds Roy incredibly attractive.

Roy has fully shown up to race weekends with visible love bites before and has never acknowledged them. Most people suspect he's just dating a random person from his personal life that he doesn’t want to reveal because they’re not a public figure, but there is an extremely dedicated conspiracy community that thinks it’s Jason. Most people just meme those guys. Jason finds this funny as fuck.

Oliver Queen tends to be generally serious during interviews, but is also is down to do any social media trend he gets roped into. His fans call it cringe, but they keep watching regardless.

Oliver Queen’s wife Dinah Lance isn’t really associated with racing but she is an entertainer that is often featured at races. Outside of that, she doesn't pay much attention to the sport.

The Star drivers are all very friendly, but are very creative shit talkers over the radio.

The Star drivers are also known for their reflexes being very good even compared to other top teams, but are also known to overestimate the power of their cars.

Barry is seen as a goofy dad both in and out of the car, and will regularly crack jokes during races.

Barry also has a proven track record with very good strategy calls, rivaling those made by the current Wayne drivers.

Wally tends to be a bit more willing to take risks during races, but it generally proves well for him as he’s known for being really good at overtaking people.

Bart earned his nickname for just how risky some of his driving calls are, and they don’t always pay off. This is the main reason why he’s usually on backup.

Bart is also a PR liability because of how much he will run his mouth during interviews, which also makes the decision to keep him on backup easier.

Arthur is a really chill coach off-radio but is highly competitive on-radio, especially against Diana.

Kaldur'ahm tends to be a pretty chill driver but still takes his job seriously. He is mostly a team player nowadays except for when he’s dealing with Garth's antics.

Kaldur will try and one-up Garth’s attempts for fastest laps, and usually succeeds.

Kaldur is also seen as one of the better-looking drivers, but his fans tend to be more chill about it.

Garth is highly competitive but primarily against Kaldur, and does shit talk Kaldur if/when he successfully one-ups Garth.

Donna and Cassie are a fan favorite team, especially among younger female fans, and they are both incredibly sportsmanlike and personable. 

Cassie tends to be a pretty funny during interviews, but Donna tends to be slightly more reserved. Both are well-respected.

Donna also helps out with F1 Academy.

Diana is a relatively strict coach but makes good strategy calls and is highly respected by her team and fans. She also regularly hangs out with her drivers and acts as a mentor for them both.

The Lanterns are an older team and a bit more reserved than other teams, and are also very sportsmanlike. This gets them a lot of respect from the general racing fan base.

All the Lanterns are veteran drivers as well.

Hal tends to get called a DILF by fans, and while he takes the dad part in stride, he tries to avoid joining in on social media trends to avoid stoking the rest of the sentiment.

The Zatara drivers both tend to get a lot of thirsting from fans, and while they definitely play it up, they mostly treat it as a joke.

The Zatara drivers also tend to be pretty chill. Both realize and accept that they’re not the most competitive drivers, so they instead attract fans by being quite creative shit talkers.

Kord is an underdog team trying to become a consistently high-preforming team, and have a lot of people rooting for them because of it.

Jaime is a fan favorite especially because he’s pretty funny and a lot of people find him good looking.

Jaime doesn’t always make the best strategy calls, as he’s relatively new. He's getting better thanks to Ted's mentorship, however.

Ted is a bit of a goofy dad personality and is a veteran driver. His veteran status allows him to better mentor Jaime while still being the primary driver for the team.

Ted’s husband Michael Jon Carter is the gay equivalent of a massive wifeguy (positive), and shows up to all of Ted’s races. Fans find it very cute.

The Hawks are pretty chill, but also seen as very tired and not as invested in the racing anymore.

The Hawks also realize they're not a very competitive team, and do not pretend to be.

There’s been rumors of the Hawks disbanding for some time now, but they keep coming back because no other teams have been formed to replace them.

That's all I've got for right now, we'll see if I update this more. If you want to see more from this AU, let me know! Also you can blame @fivespade for me posting this (thank you for dealing with my ramblings about this AU bestie) :P

[pocketmolly]

Headcanon that because of the terrifying expenses superheroing costs, heroes have to take on sponsors

TW: Smoking/Cigarettes, only a little nudity! (It's John Constantine :/), Alcohol (Damian... [Not underage drinking tho])

Like I watched the Crisis On Two Earths movie and that watchtower looks so expensive... Sure Bruce Wayne is rich but he isn't that rich

John Constantine definitely has atleast one cigarette sponsor. Probably Sterling which is British and he's somehow featured on the front of the box in this specific pose despite having never gone for a photoshoot. He laughs it off but he's secretly horrified

Black Canary is fought over by every music app to ever exist but (inevitably) Spotify wins and she becomes the annoying voice that tells you to try Spotify Premium which causes the Arrow Kids to not speak to her for like a month

Wonder Woman, Artemis, Donna Troy, Cassie Sandsmark and Yara Flor get together to do a Lululemon commercial (with colour coding and everything). It goes super viral and sets fashion trends for the next 50 years much to the dismay of Artemis.

The Flashes get a slick Ferrari ad. Like Barry in the front seat of a classic red Ferrari car delivering a smooth line in a seductive tone then it moves to the rest of the Flashes just chilling in sunglasses in the back

Robin has Lego as a sponsor which comes with free trips to Lego Land and free Lego sets. This only serves to piss Damian off and he promptly gets a Malibu (alcohol) sponsorship in the second week of being Robin. This gives Batman and Nightwing simultaneous heart attacks.

While we're on the topic, Batman mysteriously has zero sponsors (the Wayne Industries symbol is secretly on his cape but both are the same black color) and Nightwing has a Wingstop sponsor and his own 'Nightwings' meal that consists of electric blue wings which are very unhealthy and not quite safe

Okay lightning round now!

Zatanna gets Prada

Red Robin gets Red Robin (haha)

All the Green Lanterns get Whatsapp (they have their own sticker pack that the rest of the heroes overuse)

Barbra gets Oracle (haha ×2)

Starfire gets Dior and Tiffany & Co

Red Hood gets Snickers (You're not yourself when you're hungry)

[two-sibyls-tall]

Part 2/2

I couldnt think of any for that one Ellen response,, so lemme know if you have any ideas for that one