#connecting to google docs lol
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tiredly and sadly googling "how to make writing feel good again"
#I genuinely think my life is too busy right now and that I like... intentionally need to slow it down#which I rankle at because 1. I like keeping myself busy and 2. it's easy to keep busy when you have to run your whole life by yourself#but also I think I need to spent less time being busy and more time being a little bored and more time being intentionally slow so I can...#sit and marinate with creative stuff a bit longer#I hope that me leaving behind the job application/interview/etc. grind means a bit more mental space#but... I also have to onboard onto a new job lol#I think I need one week of being alone in a remote area and then two weeks with a computer and an internet connection only strong enough fo#connecting to google docs lol#man. man. I need to recapture the spark. I know it's there. I have Ideas and Things I wish to write. I just need to... slow the rest of my#life down a bit. easier said than done though
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this finally pushed me to start a tag for all my music posts lmao
#teaser: side blog coming (soon-ish) at some point this year (hopefully lol)#the more i pay attention to the background music the more sensitive to it i get#i've started hearing thdrama music in jet lag and daniel thrasher vids and even jubilee i think??#i started a google doc about a year ago collecting thdrama music that sounded familiar#and it's kinda funny bc i'll note something down that sounded familiar but i didn't know what series to connect it with#and now that i've started shazamming more and more i'm like#OH.#so THAT'S why i felt compelled to note it down back then lmao#like for example there was music on midnight motel that i found again in the eclipse#and suddenly it made sense to me why i had to note down that particular music in midnight motel lmao#this is such a fun project tho tbh#airenyah plappert#adrm
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Just wanted to know if Drayden is/ is considered the Twins uncle in your mod? Think either 'yes he is' or 'no but actually yes' could be some nice flavour texts
We talked about that because we like the thought of Drayden being their uncle but know that some people see him as their dad/grandpa too..... we avoided any labels until recently (because saying just "close relative" is a bit awkward sounding), so we went with "uncle" in the mod! I hope that's okay!
Whether or not they're blood-related or not is left up to interpretation (the twins calling Drayden "uncle" is written along the lines of Iris calling everyone "grandpa"), but aside from that, Drayden did raise the twins in the mod and there is text reflecting that!
On that note, here's some dialogue of the twins retelling the story of the legendary Dragon with a brief mention of Drayden!
Also funny you ask this because @xdoctorsparklex just finished drafting up an event where he shows up in (alongside Iris!). The sprites for them are done and as of this moment I'm in the lineart phase of Drayden's portraits. It might be a while until I post that event though since I have summer classes to focus on so I can't focus on encoding/drawing yet ^^;
#mail car connecting line#subway to stardew#the twins got nightmares because of him lol#speaking of events#I haven't been recording/posting them all because I wasn't sure if people wanted to be spoiled on everything#Emmet's 2 heart event was finished alongside another group event that takes place after both twins' 2 heart events#Haven't finished encoding Ingo's 2 heart event though so I was waiting on that.....#Maybe I'll post Emmet's 2 heart event later#Drayden's event I'll post for sure though since that's introduction-adjacent#Also sorry for huge walls of text!!! A good amount of modding is just staring at a google doc apparently
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Another Fant Drabble (prologue?)
Commentary: AH! I was looking through my docs to try to find a different story I'd left unfinished, and accidentally stumbled upon a prologue I'd written up for the Fantasmic thing. Well, I say that as if both were the same concept. They weren't...necessarily. This one came first...still Parks, I think, but more background lore. Both could technically still work together. I can't decide what I'm going to choose if I continue this story, but I shall share this anyway! (I don't think I've shared it before?)
~~~~~~
What is imagination?
A passive thought quickly swept away? Or visions--dreams--yet unseen, seeping into reality in the quietest of ways.
It’s the beauty of a prayer. A glimmer of hope. The impossible wish that whispers, ‘maybe it isn’t so impossible, after all’.
And then, worn by the world, by its shadows, imagination is the darkest, most dangerous weapon to be found.
It is rare that something so powerful does not manifest a far greater creation. And, unsurprisingly, manifest something did. When the first dreamer dreamed, possibility was born. Though you may better understand this by another name.
Magic.
The world was shaken to its core and could never have withstood the full force of this new creation. And so magic took its place in a realm all its own. Fueled by the imagination of those who dared to believe, this realm of dreams grew. And in return, lent those dreamers glimpses of the stories that emerged within.
But some dreams were nightmares. Some dreams were wicked, vile things. Some dreams had strings pulled by cruel hearts, whose visions blotted the pages of reality in thick, dark ink. Had they been allowed to grow unchecked, they may well have shattered the barrier between worlds, granting them untold power.
Light is not easily consumed by darkness.
Protectors rose to counter the shadows with dreams of their own. Unwitting though they may have been, their relentless determination to cling to the light of the world was enough. They imagined grand tales in which good and evil might collide...but good would always prevail. And so imagination--magic--in desperate need of heroes, breathed these stories to life.
There have been countless such protectors throughout the ages. Some whose tales are known by nearly all the world. Others who touched but a few, quiet hearts...though those often shine more brightly than any other. But to detail the battles and stories of each and every one would fill a tower of pages to the stars.
So this story is about the legacy left by just one. A tiny kingdom within the world you know, where reflections of magic from the realm of dreams managed to slip through...and found a place to reside. It began with a creature smaller than any other--a miniscule, innocent idea that wriggled through the barrier and into the mind of a Protector in his greatest hour of need.
And with time, that idea called another. Then another. And yet another. Until this simple imagining summoned countless others by its side. The kingdom grew, and the light that flowed from it was immeasurable.
But so was the shadow they cast.
And with every new idea that managed to slip through, drawn in by the tiny, hopeful voice of the first, the gap between worlds widened.
The shadows saw their chance.
And that is where our story begins.
#StoriesComeAlive#sorry y'all#I keep finding these buried in the deep corners of google docs#lol#see throughout this whole thing#my whole goal has been to create a story that#ya know#in my grandest wildest dreams#Disney would actually consider picking up#not that they would#but that's how I've tried to approach it#And so I wanted to create something that didn't scream 'DISNEY STORIES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY OTHER STORY EVER'#because in creating a story in which Disney characters and their magic have an impact on the 'real world'#I need it to be clear that they are powerful#but they are not all there is#that our company#is not all there is#but that the stories that have all sprung from this place#are connected in a way#and now they are caught up in something that even they don't quite understand#so yeah idk#fantasmic#my writing#fanfiction
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sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, how the hell do people learn things on their own??? I've bern trying to understand how Internet and the World Wide Web work but there's so much stuff and at every step more stuff pops out. ACK!
#mdn web docs ILY but I'm slow and forgetful </3#just understanding how DNS works is hard for me lol#what's a server port why don't I know what a server port does#and like how is it physically connected. I know there's optic/copper wires under the sea but how do those reach my puter and the server#just through routers? where are they? do only private companies own them?#I know I can google all of this it's the sheer quantity of information that's too much to take#it's too much and it takes me time to understand it#pointless microblogging#how does my computer know what dns server to contact? who controls them?#and there are servers for every top level domain like .com .org right? but what do they store just a list of websites with that tld right#I should sleep it's late
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yandere jjk? with noncon(your wish) megumi /gojo/toji
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/75c5d21e9195e3670af8712d08058bd2/9cd024647c680b5f-69/s540x810/c9aeef325894fb2fd3d3b85bb52ec5e13076721b.jpg)
Yandere Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro, Megumi Fushiguro x Fem! Darling
cw: Not proof read • Gladiator JJK! • Slave girl reader • Dark • Yandere • NSFW • Fem/AFAB Reader • NONCON turned DUBCON • Punishment • Spanking • Darling has hair long enough to pull • Spitting • Oral/Deep Throating • PIV Sex • Anal/Anal Play • Double Penetration • Gangbang • Praise/Degradation • Humiliation • Dumbification • Overstimulation • Dom jjk men • Sub reader • Kinda fluffy? • Manipulation • Sadistic Satoru (kinda)
wc: A lot? Idk like 4k or more, I did half on google doc and half here lol
Porn with no plot, just straight porn.
“Hey, Meg,” it’s bad. This entire day couldn’t be going more horribly wrong.
“Hn?” A soft grunt for someone covered in so much gore.
“Your old man care we’re in his quarters?” The white haired male had his eyes covered by a strange metal band, one usually connected to a helmet. He wore no head gear though, hardly any armor either. A testament to his confidence and strength.
“He doesn’t.” The dark haired male still dripping blood spoke back, but his eyes didn’t leave your cowering form.
“Well then shall we? I’ve been hard since I won my match. Be a shame to waste good meat when it’s offered up like this.” The vile and leering tone of the white haired devil above you only had your blood going icy. The cool wet stone beneath your aching knees and skinned up palms was a stark contrast to your boiling insides. They spoke as if you were akin to the animals kept beneath the Colosseum, as if you were livestock meant for slaughter and not a living person. You should’ve known better, your Master had been so eager to offer up a servant for the great Gladiator Toji upon the man’s request. It seemed odd to not send a more experienced servant… instead your Master sent you. A lesser slave and much more inexperienced… you now realize why after being sent below the arena you were only used to seeing from above.
Gladiators surely have earned their keep. Muscles and bared teeth, the Gladiators are warriors to their core, ready to spill blood and die at any moment.
A soft thing like you? They wanted to chew up and spit out. Swallow whole. Take you apart piece by piece until you knew nothing of your own name or life before. Except you were Toji’s and that meant something. Well, to everyone but the two younger males standing over you. The white haired male seemingly a bit older than the dark, the two close too as the older one leaned against his younger counterpart with a hand on his hip as he examined you behind his metal eye block. You knew who these two males were. Everyone knew who they were.
Satoru and Megumi, you’d only seen them from afar, not wealthy enough to afford to sit closer to the arena floor. Even from afar they left an impression though, at least on your soul.
Demons.
Creatures from hell which have proven unkillable. Megumi being Toji’s son, while Satoru acted as Megumi’s teacher. They ruled the arena, and it’s not a secret that Satoru is a noble’s son who willingly joined the Gladiators after serving in the Imperial military. Megumi too volunteered for his position, while his father stayed employed working off an endless debt due to a gambling addiction the wealthy enjoy feeding. His mountain of owed cash so overflowing it’s rumored he even owes to the Emperor himself.
Yet it didn’t explain why you were here like this. You’d been told indirectly from a stable hand that Toji wished you to clean and wait in his chambers, private unlike lower classed Gladiators. Instead you’d been grabbed and tossed to the floor by Satoru and spoken about before your very eyes. You weren’t a fool. What they, or at least Satoru wanted, was clear enough.
“I-I’m sorry if I offended m-my lords, p-please forgive—,” you were silenced by a hand raising, a slim perfect finger help up against plush pink lips. Satoru’s lips tilted up in amusement as he eyed you behind his shades.
“Nu-uh pretty, you be good and stay silent while we talk, okay?” He spoke to you as one would address a child, not how a man who was quickly untying his leather breaches might. He ignored your trembling form to return his attention to his pupil.
“She’s cuter close up like this, right Meg?” Satoru teased, happy to free his aching hard cock from the tight confines of his pants. He loved the look of fright in your wide doe eyes, a slight tremor to your bottom lip. “I’ve been craving to sink my cock into your little cunt for a while now.” He’s addressing you again, crouching down to get more to your eye level so you caught a flash of bright blue through the metal blocking his eyes. His grin is sadistic and jovial, sharp canines bared aggressively as he jerks his leaking shaft without shame while watching you.
“P-please don’t—hgh!” Your jaw is gripped in an iron lock by Satoru, who still smiles despite the furrow of his brow.
“Thought I said no talkin’? If I need’a say it again…” he leaves the threat open. You can only tearfully nod the best his grip allows, cheeks smushed and lips pursed cutely while your reddened eyes silently ask for mercy this time. His grip softens minutely, “Good girl~” he praises, smile becoming less vicious as he releases you to stand up again.
“Want her first Meg?” Satoru addresses the silent male, who stares down at you with the same intensity he held the moment you’d entered the chambers.
“Yes.” That chills you more than Satoru’s comment, Megumi’s demeanor more dark and strangely concerning as he steps towards you. You have a few options now, and your mind reminds you that if you don’t act now it’s entirely over for you. Your first option is to simply allow it to happen. You’re a slave with no status, and you’ve had your ownership transferred to a Gladiator in eternal debt with the most violent track record. These two before you have a close connection with your new owner, disobeying could mean death.
Then again obedience could mean it too.
You leapt, lucky enough to escape the hand reaching out to grab you as you sprinted for the door. The thick wooden frame made your muscles scream as you yanked it open, and just as your foot stepped through the threshold, you were yanked back by your hair. A sharp scream echoed off the stone walls, your legs kicking out in protest as you fought back wildly.
Megumi needle only one arm to yank you up off your feet and onto the low platform bed his father occasionally used to sleep on. It’s been weeks though since he’s bothered sleeping in his own chambers, more often than not bought home by a noble woman for the evening after matches to warm their bed for a steep price. He rolled his eyes at your dramatics, easily subduing you with a hand circling your neck and slowly decreasing your oxygen and blood flow.
It made you very compliant, much to his lower half’s enjoyment. The little whimpers and weak hands slapping at his chest were akin to a kitten’s attack.
“Let’s see here~” Satoru hums, quick to grip the fabric of your clothing between two hands and tear it down the middle. It was a useless endeavor to attempt to escape, as they chuckle and strip you entirely naked on the bed smelling of dust, sweat, and blood now. Both males haven’t showered, Megumi’s body the most blood soaked even after stripping. The metallic sour tinge to his masculine scent revolting as you turn your head away in disgust.
“Nu-uh~ bad girl, you keep your eyes on us, or I’ll just remove them from your skull. Okay?” It didn’t matter how terrified you were before, the thought of your eyes being removed had them snapping to the male who threatened you. He’d tossed aside his eye piece, letting you see the visibly beautiful face of a God it seemed smiling down at you. In a way he was a God, or at least blessed by one, his strength and power undeniable but wicked and cruel ways no less. One pale slender finger pressed against the side of your face, just under your eye, and Satoru took enjoyment seeing how quickly you froze up. “Be a good girl now, Meg hasn’t had a woman before, so you’ll both get to have your first! Isn’t that romantic?” It wasn’t, at least to you, but the almost dreamy look in the dark eyed male was unmistakable.
Megumi was certainly in a dream it seemed. How could he not be? You were here, beneath him, and completely naked and vulnerable to do as he pleased. Before today he was certain you didn’t know his name, or if you did it was merely from his matches. He knew your name though, said it a thousand times when he gripped his cock and worked himself over, moaning it while he came nearly every morning. He wouldn’t need to touch his cock anymore though. He had you now. Whether he needed to share you with his teacher or father wasn’t bothersome, it meant you had more eyes looking out for you anyway.
Satoru amused himself with scaring you senseless while Megumi parted your trembling thighs, settling his shoulders between them to keep you from closing them again. “Oh fuck,” he breathed, catching Satoru’s attention.
“Look how wet she is…” Megumi couldn’t bring himself to much else but admire your soaked cunt even as you mumbled quiet pleas and prayers.
“Oh? Are you a little pervert Y/N? Do you like the thought that we’re going to fuck you?” Satoru’s relentless, soft lips pressing close to your ear and whispering his intentions and insults against the shell while you writhe at the feeling of something soft and slimy poking through your folds. His tongue, you realize with a jolt of him licking up, grazing your sensitive little clit. Your gasp doesn’t go unnoticed by either male, and soon a wide chiseled chest blankets you as Satoru captures your lips in a heavy kiss and invasion of your mouth. Megumi focuses on your lower mouth though, fingers digging into the fat of your thigh as he struggles to retain his sanity as he loses himself to your taste and the erotic euphoria filling him. Every little wiggle and moan encourages him on where to lick and suck, and eventually his fingers sneak down and into your quivering wet hole.
“Mhm! P-plea—!” Satoru muffles all protest with his mouth, one free hand playing with your chest while you struggle to avoid the building pressure in your lower belly as Megumi relentlessly attacks your nub and hole. He flicks and meanly pinches and pulls your nipples, enjoying how your spine arches up each time he bullies them. He doesn’t let you avoid his kiss, and if you close your mouth he plugs your nose and forces it open again so his tongue can taste you.
It’s too much, and you’re coming much too quickly from their rough attention.
It doesn’t end though, only changes as Megumi lifts up, dark hair slightly limp and falling into his eyes as he softly smiles at you, much like a lover might despite the horrid situation. “So good f’me, think you can do it again for him?” He’s not really asking, as he switches places with Satoru who looks overjoyed and viscous as he stares at your quivering dripping pussy.
“Course she can, just listen.” Satoru laughs, messily rubbing your overly sensitive clit and eliciting a yelp from your swollen lips. The lewd wet noises produced from his heavy petting only increasing the shame building inside you as you tearfully whine and try to twist your hips away. “She’s soaking the bed too. We’re getting everything dirty anyway, let’s just fuck her up as much as possible.” You don’t understand what that means until two fingers sink all the way inside you without warning.
“Oh Gods!” Your short cry is silenced again when Megumi decides to kiss you. His lips more tentative and the taste slightly shocking until you realize you’re tasting yourself on his tongue. Despite all you wish for, it makes you tighten on Satoru’s fingers as he gleefully curls them up inside your gummy walls.
“Think she likes how she tastes.” The devilish comment only makes Megumi groan in response, pulling back slightly to reply. “She tastes fucking delicious.” He murmurs against you, stealing your breath again while your poor cunt is finger fucked by Satoru at a quick and forceful rate. Each thrust of his hand accompanied by a loud squelch as he uses his other hand to ensure you stay spread and still despite the panic striking you.
“Mh! S’too’—ngh!!!” Even as you squirm and cry, neither lets up until you’re breaking this time, orgasm so strong you feel your eyes roll back.
“That’s it pretty girl, cum for me,” Satoru nearly comes with you as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm, fluid rapidly forced from the confines of your cunt and out as you squirt for him. It’s a sight for sore eyes, the cute fucked out expression on your face as they force your body to relax and lubricate itself for their pleasure.
You’re too out of it to notice the switch again, Megumi back between your thighs but this time holding his curved thick cock between his fingers. Gripping it, he pulls back the skin hiding his sensitive head, easily slicking the tip up. The bulbous soft head smushing against your clit and folds and dragging up and down as you squeak and tiredly roll your head to look up and down.
It’s too late to truly realize what’s happening until his hips are surging forward and the tight ring of muscle at the opening of your pussy is stretched wide open on his cock for the first time. Your scream is silent, mouth open but no noise leaving. Instead you hear Megumi’s moans, short gasps of pleasure huffed into the humid and heating room as he struggles to work his shaft into your tight canal either trying to suck him further in or force him out. Your contracting muscles and choked gasps only spur him to fuck deeper until you’re filled inch by inch with him.
He bottoms out eventually, your sweaty bodies tinged slightly pink as he rubs against you, smearing blood from the Gladiator he killed today on your skin now.
“Wow~ look at how well you’re taking him, here, I’ll help.” In your shock and daze, you’d nearly forgotten about Satoru. The male happy to lift you up and make you see the enormous cock now swallowed up inside you, filling you almost painfully as you shake. “How’s it feel Meg?” He asks, blue eyes looking at Megumi’s strained expression.
“G-good…” is all he can manage. It’s better than good, more than good will ever be, but it’s all he can choke out without snapping and fucking you roughly.
“Hm~ it’ll feel better if you play with her here,” Satoru guides, his striking blue gaze focused on you with a nearly malevolent intensity as you grit your teeth to attempt to adjust to the intrusion more gracefully. He ruins it though, skilled fingers dancing down your belly and right to where you’re most vulnerable. Your cry isn’t silenced this time as Satoru presses down on the fleshy pearl above your opening. Megumi’s clumsy thrusts have spread you to your limit while Satoru rubs your nub with calculated precision.
“F-forgive me…I-I’m sorry…” both males look to your face now, confusion painting Megumi’s flushed face while Satoru seems enamored.
“How cute~ what’re you apologizing for?” He doesn’t let up. His fingers give you no rest and Megumi’s jerky thrusts seem intent on staying as deeply buried as possible. “Shh, being s’good, relax for me.” Megumi murmurs close to your ear, leaning over you some as Satoru braces you from behind.
It’s too much. You’re clamping down tight around the hot shaft stuffed deep inside, muscles contracting almost painfully around him.
“Gods—fuck, she’s so tight,” he sounds in pain, his nails digging in more harshly into your flesh as Megumi struggles to withhold his orgasm. It’s useless, moments after your own crashes down, he’s spilling into you, thick spurts of cum filling your womb as you groan and lay limp in Satoru’s arms.
Megumi recovers faster than you though, kissing your tired sweaty face as you blearily stare up in a daze.
He finds it cute.
Satoru does too. Happy to simply pull you up under your arms like a rag doll and position over his lap and against his chest.
“I can’t—a-anymore, no more—,”
“Poor thing. Has no one told you it’s good to push your limits? I think you can. Should we see who is right?” Your pleading look is lost on Megumi who merely pats your hair down, face serene as he watches you. Satoru gives you no time to recover before he’s wrapping an arm around your waist and lifting you.
“No cryin’ now, I let Meg stretch you out good n’well, I don’t want any tears unless they’re from how good I’m fuckin’ you.” His grin is sinful as he lets gravity sink you on his cock, the low light of the candles on the wall giving the illusion of sunset across his pale pretty features.
“O-oh!” Satoru snickers a laugh as you moan in startled shock. His words not a lie as he stretches you out in a different way. Where Megumi had been thick and curved, Satoru was much longer, hitting so deep it felt like the air was knocked from your lungs. It was enough a surprise to have you holding onto him, making the white haired Gladiator coo at you.
“Look at you~,” he’s not gentle as he bounces you on his cock. “Am I just so deep in this pussy? She seems to like how I fill her out, she’s just gushin’ all over me.” He holds onto the fat of your ass, hands spread wide to help anchor and rock you as he thrusts up. “Stay awake, pretty girl, remember what I told you? Eyes on me.” It’s difficult to concentrate on his husky voice when it seems he’s intent on breaking you, each time his shaft struck deep inside you swore your vision blurred. This wasn’t the slow overwhelming pleasured pain forced on you by Megumi… this was just rough sloppy sex with a maniac. Nevertheless, you do as told as try to keep your eyes open and on Satoru. His gaze didn’t waver like yours, despite the sweat sliding down his cheek, he never lost his arrogant smile or sparkle in his eyes.
A stark contrast to the lax expression you wore, lips parted and wet as you struggle to even swallow as you tearily moan like a whore in a brothel for these Gladiators using you like a sex toy. Your fucked out face and impending orgasm are what send Satoru over the edge. When your soft warm pussy creams around him and your eyes cross, Satoru can’t help but nearly whimper as his balls draw up tight and he fills you up along with Megumi’s earlier load.
The dark haired male seemingly content to watch or occasionally praise and pet sweetly while Satoru savagely used you.
It’s over, it must be over, you think as Satoru pulls out of you slowly with a soft pop, lifting you up and off to the side to lay you down. You can feel their combined releases leak down your thighs, soft hiccups escaping you as you catch your breath and come down from the intense high.
You feel nearly hollow as both men stand and begin loosely dressing, holstering their weapons back into their bodies as they prepare to simply leave.
It hurts worse despite all else.
“Pretty girl looks heartbroken Meg, should we stay?”
“Not when he’s coming back from a match, we need to meet with the Emperor before he goes back to the Palace.” Megumi shakes his head, his gaze softening when it lands on you.
“We’ll be back in a few hours, be good.”
They’re gone after those words, and while your heart filled with fury and humiliation, your eyes burned with sadness and something akin to loneliness. Just as you’d finished wallowing in self pity, ready to pull yourself together again and clean up both yourself and the mess made, the door opens again.
Both of you freeze, though for different reasons.
Toji froze because he’d forgotten he’d had you sent here, and you froze because a monster was standing before you.
Your scream is muffled before it leaves your lips, one single palm covering nearly your entire face as Toji looms over you in his full arena battle armor, the black intricately designed metal dripping crimson as he drops his weapon to the ground with a clang.
“Non’a that shit. Hear me, girl?” You nod weakly to show you listened.
Once he was sure you weren’t planning to scream his ears off more than the crowds already did, he released you and took another look.
Cute and well fucked is his first appraisal. He briefly recalls Megumi telling him his wish to have you, so it’s not strange his kid had jumped on his new slave so quickly. The marks littering you were likely that asshole’s doing, his kid too soft to be anything but be sweet towards the object of his affection. Toji briefly considered getting paid for his services tonight, but he was tired, and you looked fresh enough still.
“They fuck you good?” His question brought a baffled look to your face, amusing him as he begins unfastening his ties and removing his armor. You stay awestruck before him as he slowly sheds his persona in the arena, his laid back rugged appearance quite handsome up close as he towers over you with both height and brawn.
“M-master—,” you would either be killed or sold, there’s no way—
“You think you can handle me too?”
You stand nude before your new master still dripping the cum of his son and peer, and he asks if he can have a turn too?
“Yeah. I think you can.” He answers himself in your state of shock, and despite the sweat and blood coating him, he’s unabashed as he strips naked and corrals you back onto the bed.
“M-master please, I-I need to clean up! A-and sh-should run you a bath!” You were grasping at straws, frantically trying to escape the beastly male now licking his lips with a smirk, the scar in his mouth tugging up. You make the mistake of looking down, only to see the monster he contained beneath his armored belt.
Why was it so big? The girth alone frightened you, his length even longer than Satoru’s too, the veins running along the enormous shaft made your poor slick cunt still dripping cum clench. He’d break you. There’s not a doubt in your mind as you crawl away, his advance never slowing as he chuckles at your display.
“I don’t see why ya can’t clean after, hn?” He descends like a wolf to prey, easily pinning you down on your back, slotting his body between your thighs and forcing them open painfully wide to accommodate his size. “Don’t even need’t prep, still drippin’ huh?” He smiles, lazily grabbing his heavy appendage and lubricating himself through your folds.
“P-please master, it won’t fit—hah!” Your cry of shock only makes him sink faster and deeper into you, pressing and forcing himself into your cunt which protests the weighty thick invasion of the older male above you. He smells like the earth, like soft dirt and grass, metallic like copper, and sweat. Toji watches as your back arches further and further up, the sharp angle not looking entirely pleasant but it pushes your bust up for him to lean over and capture a perky nipple to suckle on, his teeth grazing the tip and groaning as your cunt spasms around him.
“Never understand why women say it won’t fit,” Toji mumbles against your saliva covered tit, strings of it still connected to his mouth as he casually addresses you despite pulling out and making you feel like he’s going to take your insides with it. “Y’can push a baby through here, my cock isn’t as big as that.” Not the point, but you’re too feverish to pay attention any longer as he begins sliding in easier and easier as the combined releases from earlier lube his cock to fuck you.
He sees the strain on your face, the shaking of your thighs and the tears leaking down your cheeks again. Generously, Toji lifts up under both your knees and hoists you higher, holding your lower half up and allowing himself to slide deeper. The girlish squeal you release only has his hips snapping harder, working his cock in as deep as he can, feeling the stress of the day melt in your soft tight pussy. He grunts as you cum, mouth open as drool escapes down your chin, cute wet moans so soft and breathy as you shudder and gasp.
“That feel good?” He smiles, the dopey expression on your face too cute for him not to bend down and capture your lips this time. Sucking and nibbling on your lips till they’re swollen before he delves his tongue into your hot mouth, his tongue taking up too much space until you’re squirming for air. He denies you it, swirling around your own pink appendage while rocking you with each thrust, rolling his hips expertly until your eyes are going crossed and you’re meeting his thrusts with your own. When your hands move to touch him, he restrains them, curling his much larger hands around your own and putting them beside your head while he presses you up and down into a mating press.
“Oh gods,” you can only cry for mercy, begging for more or less you aren’t sure, as he languidly pumps his cock into you until you don’t know up from down.
“No gods here girl, just this fucking tight little cunt y’got here, beggin’ f���another load.” You can’t even shake your head, in fact you find you wouldn’t mind it, the feeling of his hot seed spilling into you. He’s pressed you down so well you can’t even wiggle your hips, only moan and whine waiting for him to speed up, to fuck you harder.
He doesn’t. Just keeps the same steady pace and rhythm, balls slapping your ass at the same time, slimy and wet with all the mixed fluids your cunt has forced out by Toji’s invasion. Toji ignores your nonverbal cues for more, smirk still the same as he even occasionally grinds in deep to watch your eyes widen and lips part. The soft squishy leaking tip of his cock continuously smushing up against the soft barrier of your cervix, ready to spill his load and fill your womb.
“Master~” you begin to lose it completely, arching up as well as you can to press your chest to him, “Harder! Please fuck me! Please, harder please—,” a mindless chant for more, just a little more, to push you into that crest of euphoria where you crave to be again.
Who is he to deny such cute lewd begging?
Toji laughs, grin bared like a wild animal as he leans even more weight down on you before picking up his pace, pounding you into the mattress while your eyes roll back into your skull and you scream your impending orgasm. It hits you so hard you pass out for a moment, vision completely darkening as waves of pleasure engulf you.
Toji spills his load not long after, groaning deep in his throat as he releases as deep into you as possible, hips stilling and locking against your groin to ensure your cunt doesn’t waste a drop.
“Hey,” you’re too out of it, as he taps your cheek and only receives a blissed out smile and clouded vision. Just as he prepares to pull out and give himself a minute before fucking you again, his door opens.
“Boo~! You stretched her poor pussy out with that thing. I wanted to play with it again.” Satoru whines, blue eyes narrowed in childish petulance.
“Shut up, brat.” Toji rolls his eyes, cocking a brow at Megumi who moves silently around to check on you. His small smile at the pretty expression you wore grew, looking so fondly down at you it made Toji’s teeth ache.
“Hey~ Meg, you gonna use her? Otherwise I will~” Satoru begins undressing shamelessly, Toji’s exasperated glower ignored as the white haired male joins them in bed, tapping his hard cock on your puffy slick lips, letting you taste his salty precum.
“Fucking brats.” Despite his words, Toji feels his cock hardening again inside your warmth, giving a few short hard thrusts into your cunt to fully harden. He grips your hips and rolls so you rest on his chest, digging his fingers into the fat of your ass and spreading your cheeks for the two younger males to see.
“She’s got another hole that can be filled.” Toji grunts, beginning a slow a pace sensual pace inside you, more rocking than actual thrusts as you mewl against the hard planes of his chest. Satoru shivers, licking his lips as he brings his face down to where your puckered back entrance rests untouched. He’s unbothered by Toji’s thick cock spreading your pussy open, opening his mouth and letting his tongue prod your ass while you jolt and tremble in Toji’s hold.
“Easy girl, ain’t gonna hurt.” He mumbles, roughly petting your hair while you turn your face away to look back, only to feel fingers gently tangle in your hair.
“Here,” you’re being fed more cock, Megumi’s leaking swollen tip smearing his fluids across your closed lips until they open and he can plunge into your mouth’s warm depths with a moan. Your mind slowly goes blank again, the earlier feeling of panic fading as Satoru plays with your ass, using your own cum as lube and spreading it over the hole before playfully pressing his thumb into the tight space.
You moan around Megumi’s cock, the shaft sinking deeper into your throat while Toji fucks you a little faster, feeling you tighten with Satoru’s intrusion.
They play like that for a while, slowly speeding up before becoming languid again, turning you into a soft wet mess in their hold as Satoru finally lines his cock up with your free hole, groaning loudly as he fails to press inside. A sharp slap to your ass tears you free from your bliss, the pain biting but making the pleasure stand out more as Satoru looks at your hole in irritation. “Hey, sluts should just relax, let me in,” he complains, slapping your ass again and making you do the opposite and tighten.
“Shit, tight fucking pussy,” Toji moans, moving you up and down his shaft faster while Satoru tries again, spitting on his dick lewdly and pressing the tip back at your hole, hips driving forward and finally breeching. “Ngh—!” Satoru nearly cums on the spot, feeling the tight ribbed walls of your ass strangling his cock as he spears you open.
You’re so full it’s unbelievable, head empty and completely blank while feeling two thick cocks open you up while Megumi continues to fuck your mouth.
You can’t say a word, only feel as Satoru sets the pace while Toji helps rock you back and forth. With your hips occupied with Toji’s hands, Satoru instead wraps his long slender fingers around your neck, dragging you away from Megumi, loose enough for you to breathe but tight so he can draw you up against his chest as he drives into your tight sphincter with short jerky thrusts, lips pressed against your ear as he groans low in his throat. Megumi stands, perfect height with you lifted like this to comfortably slip his cock back into your mouth and down your throat. It’s too much and not enough at the same time, the slow clapping of skin and trembling movements, no one wanting this to end too soon while you writhe and jerk in their hold as they use you.
“I think you like being our little whore, huh?” Satoru whispers in your ear like a demon. “Feeling us all fill your filthy holes, making you our pretty slut to fuck however we want.” He’s so deep inside you, hips flush with your ass he stretches you on his cock, the thin skin separating him and Toji continuously stretched and rubbed from inside. A mess of fluids coated you all from below, so much so it was all wet squelching and moans from the languid movements of the gladiators. “Bet you’d like it if we just chained you up to fill all your holes, right Princess?” His condescending tone is lost on you as you feel your lower belly tighten painfully, the fullness becoming more evident as you get closer to your end.
“Don’t tease her,” Megumi huffs, looking fondly at Satoru with a hint of exasperation. “She’s being so good, taking all of us so well,” he feels you swallow around his rod, eyes fluttered closed as he thrusts into your mouth. “We should reward her.”
Toji chuckles, knowing exactly what the two were up to.
“Oh~? How should we reward our little cum Princess then?” You stutter as you feel Toji shift his hand and press down on your belly, body shaking as your eyes watered. Your hands were useless trying to push him away, only feeling his cock twitch and flex inside of you while he smiled.
“She looks close, should help her finish.” Megumi huffs, his own end nearing as you slobber and choke on his cock.
“Hmm~ guess I’ll be nice, this time,” he breathes the last bit in your ear threateningly, but the seductive undertone has you shaking in a way that isn’t from fear. Satoru releases one hand from around your throat to dip down until he can swirl his finger around your swollen sensitive clit. It’s already covered in slick, easily letting him press and grind down, feeling you buck and moan in their grasp beautifully.
“You gonna cum Princess? All over our cocks?” Satoru has you clutched close as he fucks you, helping forcing you down on Toji’s cock while you groan around Megumi’s length. “Cum for us, let us ruin you.” It’s like he’s a prophet for the Gods, because when you do cum, you do feel ruined. Megumi’s hips stutter as you gluck and allow his cock even deeper, his balls drawing tight as he floods your throat with his cum.
Satoru and Toji cum shortly after, grunting and moaning their own finishes while you’re cradled limply against Toji’s chest now, eyes unfocused as you’re filled again and again.
Your dreams provide you with sweet relief, as you’re left unconscious in Megumi’s arms as he cleans you in a warm bath he’s pulled and heated.
“No fun~ she looked cuter covered in cum.” Satoru grins, but his smitten expression isn’t missed by Megumi who shakes his head with a smile.
“She won’t sleep good like that.” Is all he says, gently washing you clean and drying you off to take to bed. The bed Toji hardly ever uses now occupied by four occupants.
Toji watches in silence as you’re laid down, Megumi calmly sliding in while Satoru flatly lays at the bottom of the bed.
“Sure you want her?” Toji asks as the silence descends on them all.
Megumi’s dark gaze flicks up to his father.
“Hmph, acting like you don’t?” He challenged back, only to be met with a smirk and a heavy hand landing on top his head, making Satoru cackle.
You awake clean and warm, with a new pristine silver chain wrapped around your ankle and chained into the stone wall.
Satoru wasn’t kidding.
Dividers by @benkeibear
If you liked this, please reblog!♡ It is what sustains me, well, coffee too but reblogging is the dominant factor—
#not proof read#tw: dark content#tw: noncon#jjk#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk#yandere jjk smut#yandere Gojo Satoru#yandere megumi fushiguro#yandere toji fushiguro#Gojo Satoru x reader smut#Megumi fushiguro x reader smut#toji fushiguro x reader smut#jjk x reader smut#x fem reader#idk I’m tired
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Can't Stop
Pairing: Eustass Kidd x Female Reader
Warnings: MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS BEGONE!!! 18+! Vaginal penetration, dirty talk, overstimulation, dirty talk, pet names (baby, babe), Kidd being pussy drunkkkkkk
Summary: Porn without Plot it's just Kidd being drunk off that coochie lol
*One of the old stories I posted on my deleted Tumblr but thankfully I wrote it on my Google docs so it's back again !😍*
*banner*
Wet slaps, creaks and moans filled the room making your head swim. It was intoxicating the way he pressed into your pussy roughly. Pushing your legs back to your chest to get as deep into your cunt as possible.
“Some good pussy.” He murmured as his eyes locked to where you both were connected.
“Just like that! Kidd baby please~!” You moaned out.
Squish. Slap.
“Fuck babe! Listen to how loud your cunt is!” Kidd’s moan was raspy and drawn out, making you shiver. Body warming up to the praise he was giving you.
“F-feels so good~” You stare up at him as he owns your body in his large hands.
“Made for me, you know that right?” Kidd whispered when he looked at your eyes deeply, still a scowl on his face. Your pussy fluttering at the passionate attention he was giving you. His soft words never matching the harsh expression he always wore.
“Yes! All yours Eustass~” Moaning his name had the man’s eyes roll back and fuck into your spongy cunt faster. His abs flexing and rippling with every powerful thrust he delivered to your sopping wet pussy.
Moving his hands up higher until he was pushing your ankles back. “Eustass~!” You whined at the deeper angle and new stretch he was putting you in but the cocky bastard only smirked.
“Fuck yeah baby I know you can take it for me.”
You couldn’t hold back the screams from his powerfully deep thrusts. Your stomach feels so full from how he punched your insides.
“Ugh! YES~!” You screamed out throwing your head back from the pleasure.
“Yeah you like that don’t chu?” Kidd grunted as he pulled back just the tip before slamming down making you scream out.
“AH!! FUCK!” Tears sprung to your eyes that now rolled back, your hands falling above your head as you turned to mush. He was fucking you silly, your mouth unable to swallow your saliva as you started to drool.
“Holy shit Y/N! Do you even know how fucking good you look!? Dammit!” Every curse being hit with a harsh thrust that pushed you further into you a cock drunk madness.
“Yesyesyes! Fuck Kidd! Please give it to me! YES!” Your screams had the man’s body heat up and balls twitch, unprepared for just how hot you’d be. “Shit! Your cock is so fucking big~!” You hiss out the words but it only turns to a moan as he keeps beating up your pussy.
“Like taking my big cock though, huh baby?” He asked you, making you nod quickly with a whine. “Fuck yes! I love it so much~! Please use me for your big cock! Please Eustass~!”
“Damn right you love this big cock stuffing that pretty pussy of yours baby. Shit~ you feel so fucking good wrapped around my dick like this Y/N!” He moaned out in between thrusts, his grip on your ankles growing tighter.
Your gooey wall’s squeezed his girth tightly, squishing sounds making goosebumps form on his creamy skin. “Fuckfuckfuck!” He growled out, his cock thrusting on each curse in frustration. “Can’t last long with how fucking wet you are. Dammit!” He was practically whining at himself at this point since you were in euphoria.
“So! Big!” You sob out between his pounding, eyes not able to focus on the man above you anymore. Your dazed out look left him moaning deeply, fucking your poor cunt faster to chase his high.
“You take this big cock so fucking good! You have no idea.” Grunting as his eyes rolled back. “Shit! I gotta cum. FUCK!”
“Take my fucking cum got it?” Kidd asked when he leaned down placing his elbows on the side of your face caging you in. Your ankles by his ears which he turned his head to nip at. “Gonna make you my lil cum dump. Get this pussy all filled till you’re dripping for weeks.”
“Yes I need your cum so bad. Please Eustass give it to me~” Your cry doesn’t go missed by the red head as he rolls his hips smoothly into your spongy walls. Kissing along your neck till he was sucking under your ears.
“Fuck I’m gonna cum.” He groans deeply against your neck before biting down a bit. Hips snapping in a frenzied pace as he fucks the endless ropes of cum into your leaking cunt.
Your walls tighten as the cord snaps, making you gasp as you claw at his back. Body and tits being rocked by the force of the large man using you roughly. Your pussy screaming with pleasure, your orgasm smacking you right along with him.
You came too many times to keep track.
“Eustass~!” You cried out with tears that he licked away as he fucked you shakily. Body buzzing with overstimulation that still couldn’t stop him. Huffing and whining as he fucked his throbbing cock into your stuffed cunt.
“Oh fuckkk~” Eustass couldn’t hold back the whine deep in his throat as he felt the tug of your walls when he dragged his cock back. You were folded into the mattress, his body pushing you deeper into the blankets.
“I can’t stop. Fuck~ Can’t. Stop~” His voice was so deep and drawn out that it made your pussy flutter.
Kidd was slobbering as he sucked on your neck, leaving bits and kisses all over. Loving how your skin sparkles with his spit covering you, his lipstick staining a trail of his passion.
“Don’t!” You start to scream, “Please don’t stop!”
“Fuck~ your pussy’s all mine. All. Fucking. Mine.” Kidd’s voice was a gravelly growl as he thrust harder making you cry out louder, voice getting hoarse. Lips kissing up your neck to your jaw until he reached your lips that he nipped gently.
“No one else can have this pussy. Got that?” Kidd asked against your lips before licking into your mouth to kiss you deeply. Your hands tangled in his hair roughly pulling him in closer.
“Mm~.”” You moan into each other's mouths, Kidd sucking on your tongue as it shoves its way into his mouth. His hips snapped sharply into your sensitive cunt as you both tongue kissed.
It was all too much for you to handle, his cock bullying your pussy and his deep kisses pushing you over the edge. Thick balls slapping into your ass making you shiver and pussy clench at the thought of filling you full again.
Pulling back slightly you mumbled into his mouth, “C-cum~ gonna cum.” You barely choke out between moans.
“Fuck ~ me too.” Kidd groans out before smashing his lips into yours making you whine as you hold him tighter.
Your pussy quivering as it wet his cock, both of you cumming together in a shaking mess. Tingling from overstimulation to the point of stars in both of your vision but neither caring.
When Kidd finally had his fill of fucking his cum into your pretty cunt he flipped you both over. Sighing when he landed on his back, throwing an arm behind his head.
“Yeah…No way I’m letting anyone else get a hold of you.” Kidd grumbled as he pulled you into his chest, his arm wrapped around you tightly.
“I can say the same about you, Captain.” You chuckle but it turns to a yelp when he pulls you in a soft chokehold almost.
“Hey I don’t have enough energy for a round three so leave the whole ‘Captain’ outta your mouth for now.” Kidd barked out against your ear making you giggle, “Okay okay~Eustass!”
“UGH! Just stop talking! Everything you say makes my dick twitch!” Kidd had to keep your mouth shut the whole night or he would’ve never gotten any sleep.
#eustass kid x reader#one piece smut#one piece#eustass kidd#eustass kid#eustass lovin on meeeeee#eustass kid smut#eustass kidd smut#eustass kid x female reader#eustass kidd x female reader#x female reader#female reader#honeys works 🍯#eustass kidd x female reader smut#eustass is papi!!!
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Recreational
Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader
Summary: Two chefs, one needs a distraction and the other needs anything but.
Word Count: ~11k
Notes: This one has been stuck in my drafts for almost 6 months, google docs was my editor so if you mention any grammar/spelling mistakes I'm gonna blame Google lol.
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Y/n always had the idea that life never let her be too happy. And not to be unnecessarily pessimistic or ungrateful for the good things that happened in her life, but it was really only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped. To be completely honest, if she was remotely better at anything else or something else paid more, she wouldn’t have been a chef. She thought her career as a chef was the universe having a good laugh at her, making her a part of a culture so deeply rooted in making connections which she couldn't reciprocate.
“They aren’t your friends.” The lesson was so deeply ingrained into y/n’s psyche that it was impossible for her to even spare a simple congratulatory smile after finding out her co-worker had won a James Beard award a few years prior or give that same co-worker a nod of approval when he retained a star. They were at best two instruments in the same tool kit, easily replaceable to the other, and y/n wasn’t going to offer an olive branch.
The French Laundry’s kitchen had perfected the skill to make even the best chefs throw their thousand dollar knife in a huff and quit on the spot. The head chef was a maestro of pushing buttons, ensuring a constant undercurrent of tension that never reached extreme highs because, in that kitchen, there was never a low.
That was before y/n was hired. There were chefs with better referrals, more experience, were more likable but there was something in her that put her above the rest, she didn’t crack.
She didn’t flinch when the head chef lowered himself to her level, still towering over her, and told her that she didn’t deserve to be there in the middle of a dinner rush on her first week.
Carmen kept his head down, anticipating the impending sobs and sniffles. However, as moments of silence stretched on, he resisted the unseen force compelling him to remain bowed. Slowly lifting his gaze, he noticed her studying the head chef as if extracting more from his irises than his words. Her eyes then swept over the rest of the staff before locking onto Carmen's. There, in that shared glance, he sensed her silent inquiry, a question of whether he, the second in command with a James Beard award and a Michelin star, was a coward.
He bowed down, focusing on the plate in front of him and pretending to wipe a nonexistent splatter.
The silence echoed while the rest of the chefs continued to slice, dice, and stir not sparing a glance, this was nothing new. When the head chef figured that she wouldn’t say anything back, he sauntered over to his next victim. Carmen lifted his head one more time, there was nothing he could do to comfort her if she was a mess but he already knew which chef would have to take over for her while she sobbed in the freezer. He was met with her side profile, she was smirking.
For a brief moment it felt like Carmen finally got a good look at her since she had been hired a week ago. It took a few moments for Carmen to decipher her expression. She was unimpressed with him, the head chef, and the kitchen. It wasn’t possible to be unimpressed and here she was looking at everyone like she was a parent listening to the squabbles of an irritable child, it was different.
She was a dangerous person because her small stunt inspired him to do something he had never done in the French Laundry, roll his eyes when the head chef left after his criticism. It was a small taste of delicious, slippery, freedom that was bound to kill him later. The day ended and Carmen didn’t even notice that he was walking up to her until he was right in front of her.
Y/n was expecting an apology and Carmen was expecting an opening to start talking, something had to give but it was too raw to do that here. After one more glance, Carmen started parting his lips but y/n slipped right past him and walked out.
They aren’t your friends.
Y/n had many aspirations growing up: pop-star, astronaut, scientist, and ice-cream vendor. As she got older the list matured, and consequently shortened. It didn't take much for her to enroll in culinary school, a decision made almost impulsively.
In the busy kitchen, amid clattering pots and the aromatic dance of ingredients, she watched chefs passionately invest themselves in each dish. She had heard stories from her colleagues, the heartfelt narratives that bound them to their culinary journey, and she couldn't help but feel a pang of shame that she couldn’t reciprocate. Her presence in the kitchen wasn't driven by sentimental attachments to food; she was here for a paycheck, a stark contrast to the fervor surrounding her. As she navigated the world of flavors and aromas, she grappled with the solitude of her own motivations, wondering if there was space for her in a profession driven by love, memories, and a deep connection to the culinary craft.
Unable to reciprocate the profound connections others sought, a sense of bitterness and unrest festered within her. Her internal conflict wasn't born out of disdain for those more accomplished; instead, it stemmed from a profound inability to fathom the emotional intricacies that seemed to drive others but couldn’t seem to reach her.
Y/n didn’t allow herself to confront a nuanced flaw—projecting her perception of routine loneliness onto the world, all while unconsciously imposing a self-isolation rooted in a complex interplay of guardedness and yearning for genuine connection. She kept herself busy by watching, judging, others in the hopes that eventually she would see something that clicked.
Y/n spent the next few years in relative ease even if every single soul in the French Laundry were a bunch of battered devotees, who regularly got verbally and emotionally beaten black and blue, but still came crawling back. It was almost humorous to watch all the chefs line up to leave and look like they just had their soul siphoned out from their puckered assholes.
Carmen felt like a cautionary tale to her, never getting too involved. He had crafted his own prison cell, a second in command with no real power, no life outside of work, and y/n bet he told himself that this was his peak. His self created pathetic life was so intensely interesting to y/n that she resisted asking about his life so she never made the same mistakes. But the way his focus scattered across the kitchen told her that he didn’t know why he was like this either.
He didn’t come to work on a Friday, which was a bit of a shock, and it rippled when she walked in on some janitor emptying his locker a few days later, and just like that, Carmen was gone from her life.
Months went by and by then y/n had completely forgotten about the chef that wasn’t strong enough until she saw browsing a food blog, and she found a name that she thought she would never see again. A post about a restaurant in Chicago that had served yet another "dish to die for". She refreshed the page a few more times, wondering if this was someone with a similar name but after a bit of sleuthing, a slightly blurry google review photo, it was undeniable, Carmen was indeed in Chicago.
They shared certain similarities—they had comparable resumes, education, and paychecks. Given the exorbitant rents in New York, it was likely that their living expenses were almost identical. They were both engulfed in the demanding world of cooking, leaving little time for anything else. Yet, despite these parallels, a puzzling question lingered: why did Carmen have the financial freedom to make a spontaneous departure, a luxury y/n had yearned for but couldn't grasp for years?
Y/n wished that she felt that pulling force, like seeing a familiar face after a long time bloomed an ache in her heart. She spent a few moments trying to will her heart string to pull but she was unsuccessful. She was looking for a reason to leave the French Laundry and she was hoping that Carmen’s scribble tattoos, wavy hair, nauseatingly blue eyes would make a path for her to escape, or at least reveal what gave him that final push.
She liked the restaurant that she used to work at, a local hotspot that was known for its penne alla vodka and other vaguely Italian dishes. Over there she was the hotshot young chef freshly graduating from the CIA and was leagues above anyone else. No one towered over her asking if she knew what she was doing, no one ever asked her if she remembered to stir the roux, or if she was an assistant. The only reason she left was because her student debt was closing in and she was exhausted from constantly debating if she should buy a replacement for her shitty knife or groceries for the month. Being poor was so tiring that y/n caved when someone came in with a job offer. As much as she hated the French Laundry it graced her with a different type of freedom, the freedom to not worry about if she could afford to survive.
She waited till The Beef closed to give them a call, and unsurprisingly someone picked up with a heavy sigh, “ We are closed.” and then hung up. Y/n dialed again, “I need to speak to Berzatto.”
“Yo Cousin, some chick is looking for you.” A muffled, we’re closed, was heard but y/n insisted.
“We worked together in the French L-.”
“She says she’s French or something.” And before y/n could correct, Carmen was handed the phone.
“The fuck do you mean French?” Still arguing with the guy with a gruff voice.
“Maybe it's a "pro" you sobbed in front of in France, you virgin. I don’t know your fucking life.”
“French Laundry.” Y/n interrupted and just like that Carmen was glued to the phone.
“Y/n?” Y/n ignored that he was able to recognize her voice even after all this time and how that made her almost soften her voice.
“I’m in Chicago for a few days, when can I stop by.”
“You want to come?" Carmen hastily recovered, "You can come when you can but we are doing some renovations and it's a mess-''
“I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon.” And with that y/n hung up and emailed HR that she would be out for the week because she was sick.
The Chicago air was unbearably similar to New York's and y/n was glad she didn’t have to spend too many miles on the same shitty city. And Carmen understated the “renovations”, it was a gut. The door scraped open dragging the paint cans that were leaning it. The door isn’t the working issue, it's the fact that the whole restaurant looked like it was on the verge of being classified as a collection of bare load bearing pillars and plastic tarp. Y/n was glad that she settled for sneakers because heels were begging for her to eat shit.
“Ms. New York!” The man with a gruff voice yells with laced hostility, alerting everyone.
The echoing music was promptly shot off as curious onlookers tried to decipher why an unknown woman was waddling through a battlefield of loose nails and scattered sawdust.
Y/n didn’t have to look long before Carmen came tumbling out the kitchen door, looking at her like she was glowing. Y/n wordlessly walked over to him and extended her hand and much to her shock the shake was firm, eager even, the last time they shook hands was when y/n had to take a photo with him 3 years ago for Gastronomica. Y/n was the first to slip her hand away, not remarking on his softened calluses, it seems like he hadn’t done much cooking lately.
Carmen ushered them towards the kitchen and held the door open for her, the room was empty and oddly quiet. They were holding the work outside so they could hear what they assumed would be confessions and passionate love making.
Carmen probably sensed it too because he took them to what looked like the skeletons of an office.
They both stood against the wall on completely opposite ends, their words would have to fill the gap. Carmen parted his lips a few times trying to formulate what he practiced last night but all the words seemed to die in his throat. His staggered inhale was followed by a soft, “What brings you here? I mean I’m glad you're here-”
“I wanted to know what you were up to.” Y/n twirled a strand of hair, looking into his eyes trying to relearn him again.
Carmen’s breath stalled as he fiddled with his apron to avoid eye contact. “I’m running this place now so-” Carmen’s eyebrows furrowed, “How did you know where I was?”
“I saw the restaurant in a blog and thought I would….” Y/n noticed him deflate, trying to figure out from disappointment or finally relaxing.
“I thought I would get something to eat but it seems like…” Y/n waved her hands at the bare walls, “That's not gonna happen.” She let out a soft chuckle but was a bit peeved that Carmen wasn’t doing anything but staring at her.
Y/n crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, Carmen sighed and thumped his head softly on the wall behind him. Being across from him, gave y/n a familiar view of Carmen at the end of shift, pitiful and enervated. Y/n didn’t fail to notice that his arms had gotten bigger.
“Manual labor suits you.” Carmen let out an embarrassed but bemused “ha” as he failed to stop his lips from curling up.
“Yeah, I have to do a lot by myself. Don’t exactly have the funds to be hiring a million contractors to do shit.”
“How do you afford all this?” Y/n lifted her gaze and tried to not look too eager.
"A ton of loans. We're barely holding it together," he admitted with a soft chuckle, passing some papers to y/n. As he continued, Carmen listed the financial burdens on his shoulders, payroll for the chefs, government permits, contractors, vendors, appliance suppliers,each itemized until it culminated in a big, fat, red zero that highlighted the crushing reality of y/n's shattered dreams. There was no money left; they couldn't afford to keep her. The devastating truth settled in, she couldn't afford to work here, and Carmen couldn't afford to save her.
Carmen walked over to the desk between them before plopping on his chair and balanced his head on his right fist as he looked up to y/n.
“What are you doing right now?” Carmen asked, the new view let him see more of y/n, which she didn’t know if she liked.
“I'm still at the French Laundry, it pays the bills, Carmen.” The air stilled and all the oxygen in his lungs contracted in his lungs as his name echoed in the otherwise silent room. He wasn’t Berzatto anymore. Y/n’s small smirk was enough of a reaction for Carmen to solidify that he had no clue about the women in front of him.
As she basked in the lull, she extended her leg to stretch them out to, noticing that it wouldn’t take much effort for her to put her foot on one of the legs of his chair and roll him closer. Y/n wasn’t without decency so she resisted messing with Carmen anymore. She was being stupid and immature, it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t help her, but a part of her still yearned to inflict some measure of discomfort on him.
“Enough about me…what have you been up to?” He was finally worth talking to, y/n thought. He would finally have something of value that she couldn’t get out of any other seasoned chef, a spark behind his eyes. Maybe there was something else that gave him the power to come here, something that could move her too.
“I'm taking over the restaurant from my brother and we are remodeling and shit to make it…a spot.” He realized how stupid he sounded when he said it outloud.
Y/n’s lips quivered downward, he was taking over a family obligation. He didn’t unlock any of the universe’s secrets that he could share with her, that would make the road ahead clear. He really couldn’t help her. The crushing feeling in her chest was worsened when he carelessly tossed out, “You could work here, ya know?”
A pile of bills at home dared her to throw caution to the wind and fail spectacularly. Y/n shut down any part of her that could have been swayed and diverted instead.
“What are you serving?”
“You would be head chef, y/n.” Carmen's intense gaze made her look at him in bewilderment.
“It’s not a good fit.” Y/n pressed with a self-assured chuckle.
“Syd would be number 2 and I can focus on the business shit-”
Y/n wasn’t going to justify his ridiculous proposition with a response, so she gave him a pointed look before asking a final time, “What are you serving?”
“Whatever I want.” His eyes focused on y/n’s, almost daring her to be enticed by the freedom.
Y/n's stomach somersaulted. The room around them seemed to close in as the weight of the unknown pressed against her. Y/n grappled with the question of what she had truly come for. The initial curiosity about his past now collided with the reality that the person standing before her was somehow a deity that had broken free from the shackles of depriving the self from freedom but also a mortal with dangerous arrogance that she couldn’t replicate.
“You finished the menu?”
Carmen nodded as his eyes wrinkled.
“Show me the menu.”
“You’ll see it on opening night.” Carmen leaned back in self-assurance.
“I won’t be back.” Y/n briskly asserted as she went back to twirling her hair and crossing her arms.
Y/n heard a chuckle and a soft, “Doubtful”. Just as she lifted her head to argue, the words were gone and so was Carmen, who was at the door now, holding it open for her.
“You're the worst, you know that?” She presented him with a vicious side eye. “I came all the way to the menu, you know.” That wasn’t remotely true.
“You can see the kitchen.” His hand hovered over the small of her back before catching himself and slipping his hand back down.
Carmen gave a run down on where the stove would go in relation with the expo, being mindful of speed but also spatial restriction. Y/n walked with him wondering if she would care enough about the minutia to organize a restaurant from the ground up like this. Her fingertips grazed the silver gas stove, teh cool metal brought back memories of working in LA. His expo covered in plastic wrap was the exact one she saw in her first internship. And most damning of all, Carmen specially picked out everything; so just like y/n, he had a story to tell with each piece.
His eyes shimmered as he talked about not beating his time around the kitchen yet, and y/n felt her stomach roll over as a wave of… something rolled over her.
Eventually, Carmen led her out to the front where she talked about table choices and the lighting to match, her eye’s glazed in wonderment wondering if the version of Carmen that cared about interior design was always a part of him or if it was a new development. Just as she was about to ask, Richie interrupted her.
“We’ve held it long enough, I think we would ALL love to know who you are.” He spread out his arms and nodded like a politician who was, “asking the real questions”. Y/n went from floating around the kitchen to being slammed shut in a bird cage.
“Ms. New York didn’t give it away?” Y/n replied, doing her best to ignore the nagging whispers in her head telling her she wasn't wanted here.
“Then why are you here?” He challenged right back, pointing an accusatory finger at her before migrating it to Carmen, “Why is she here?” The urge to run away tugged at her, to a place where it didn't matter if people liked her.
Carmen squinted his eyes before letting out an exasperated sigh, y/n could tell he was used to Richie’s machinations. Looks like the three of them didn’t know why y/n was here.
“Just ignore him, that's Tina..” pointing at an older woman who looked like she was just about to leave.
“..Nat” was buried in a binder but her head still shot up and smiled which y/n politely reciprocated.
“.. and Syd '', who looked pissed that y/n was here, y/n looked at her hands clasping a notebook. Recipes…a menu…y/n tucked her lips to hide her laugh, they didn’t have a menu to show and she had interrupted their brainstorming session. Y/n made a mental note that Carmen wrinkled his eyes when he lied.
“I was just in the neighborhood, and I'm just about to leave.” She walked towards the exit, not failing to notice that Carmen was in hot pursuit.
It didn’t take a genius to know he was going to offer her a ride so she beat him to it, “I’ve taken enough of your time.”
And just as Carmen was about to say something, Y/n hid her disappointment with a smirk, “I’ll let you get back to making that menu.” Y/n caught a quick glimpse of shock before the door swung open and she walked the Chicago streets wondering if she got what she was looking for.
This place wasn’t for her at all, and no amount of small town romance novels could convince her to leave her cushy job with a bunch of pompous clowns for a DIY restaurant. Her heart quickened as she allowed herself to be momentarily seduced by the idea, only to shatter any hopeful illusions with the harsh reality that Carmen couldn't rescue her from her financial nightmare. She needed a paycheck, a big one, and Carmen couldn't give it to her; he could barely afford the stove he wanted. It was almost cruel to give her a taste, let her acquire it, and then realize that she couldn’t have it.
Y/n went back to her hotel and had the difficult choice between watching Pawnshop or Diners, Drivers and Dives when she got a text message from an unknown number.
I’m off tomorrow, let me take you somewhere other than a construction site.
Y/n let herself have one last taste of freedom and dialed the number, “Who’s this?” she asked to tease Carmen.
She could hear Carmen’s grin loud and clear as he gave her a soft, “The worst person ever.”
Y/n laid flat on her bed and made herself forget that he didn’t have a backbone, that he ran away without a word like a coward, and (most damning to her) he couldn’t save her. She pushed the part of her that screamed that she should run away before they realized they didn’t fit because right now, she wasn’t talking to Berzatto. He was Carmen. He had dreams and aspirations that were bigger than him or maybe just as big as him. He was working hard and confident; everything else he wasn't in New York.
As she confirmed a good time for tomorrow, she sat up on her bed as she said her goodbye.
“Have a good night, Carmen.”
Y/n had trouble falling asleep that night.
**
The week had reached its end a lot quicker than y/n thought it would. Before she knew it she had repacked her life back into her suitcase and was sitting at her gate waiting for boarding to start.
Y/n had her legs propped up on her carry-on, balancing an egregiously priced coffee in one hand and a book in the other. It’s not like the book was any good, it was an autobiography about a famous chef who had died of cancer. She recalled her outing with Carmen a few days prior.
The pans that y/n had to use in her shitty old apartment were non-stick because she couldn’t afford the non-cancer kind till after she graduated from the CIA. She remembered joking with her classmates about it while they were learning how to take apart a chicken, and everyone gasped in disgust. Y/n gave a careless grin while hiding her warming cheeks and mentally punching herself for even saying that out loud.
Her birthday came around and all of her classmates pitched in for a set of pans, non-stick pans. She laughed with her friends, went home and invited them for dinner made entirely from the pans and watched as they ate their dishes, nodding in pretentious considerment, not knowing it was made on Teflon and wondered if this is how that guy who served his customers human meat felt.
Y/n told the story to Carmen during their lunch at a Korean restaurant and felt a surge run through her as he met her eyes and instead of laughing at what was meant to be a humorous story and mumbled, “That was shitty.”
Y/n’s lips parted as her eyebrows furrowed in anger and, more embarrassingly, shame.
Before she could defend herself, Carmen added, “I wouldn’t call those friends.”
He played with the condensation on his glass, y/n knew better to look down at him playing with the wetness with his pointer and thumb.
“That’s how it is there. How was your first week here?” Y/n sipped her soup.
“I lost my knife, found it beat up on the floor. I would have quit if I could.” Carmen gave a soft chuckle and y/n hated that she wanted to know more about him.
“Which knife?”
“It was the Yoshimi.”
Y/n quirked her lips up, “I remember when you first got it.” Carmen looked up quizzically.
“It was a shit show.” The head chef was not in a good mood and Carmen pulled up, with a pep in his step and a new knife, begging to be shot down. Honestly, y/n was surprised that Carmen didn’t kill anyone that day.
Y/n’s flight had started boarding so she threw all of her stuff in her bag while fishing for her passport. In her hustle she missed her phone vibrating till she was in her seat trying to catch her breath from shoving her overloaded carry-on in the ever shrinking compartment.
You got on yet?
Just sat down, TSA sucks ass, might have to start working out bc im winded rn.
Have a safe flight.
Y/n finally made it home and just as she was about to pass out, she quickly texted a picture of her exhausted face with a cringy thumbs up, she would regret that in the morning.
Y/n fell right back into her regular rhythm, with two new additions. She had started running in the morning. The other thing was a new pen pal, of sorts.
They tried texting more regularly for the first few weeks but their schedules were too different so they had simplified it to a photo every few days.
The Bear
Y/n got the photo on her train ride home after months of “talking”, a picture of a decal on the restaurant window, y/n didn’t miss Carmen’s furrowed eyebrows and grimace from having to be out in the sun to take the picture. His reflection exposed his paint stained t-shirt and y/n rubbed her eyes to check that his arms had in fact gotten bigger.
Y/n sent out the first actual text message in months, Why The Bear?
She saw the bubbles disappear and reappear a few time before settling on,
Come and find out
Y/n snickered and the women sitting next to her gave her a side eye as she got up to leave.
I don’t want to install appliances or check the plumbing for free.
Carmen texted back uncharacteristically fast, maybe they had shot down texting too soon.
“Don't want to” or “don’t know how to”?
Y/n squinted her eyes, he should believe her even if she was lying. She texted a middle finger back. You should be so lucky to see my trade skills in action, I could have been your contractor and it's sexist that you think otherwise.
I’ll settle with you coming by as a guest.
Y/n called him, it was a split second decision that she didn’t have time to regret. He picked up just as quickly as she called.
“I’m not coming back if you guys are still building shit.” Y/n asserted as she unlocked her front door.
“We finished that a while ago, now it's real shit this time.” There was faint rustling in the background and what y/n could decipher as yelling.
“Yeah?”
“We're missing some stuff, repair guys to call, and we still have some vendors to deal with but doors open in a few weeks.”
Y/n giggled, “Sounds like you're cutting it close, Carmen.” There was rustling heard on the other end, “You can probably get all that shit done with time to spare if you don’t get distracted.”
A laugh erupted from the other end, Richie’s.
“He’s plenty distracted, got himself a girlfriend.” Y/n stomach fell to her ass as she stood in her kitchen with her work bag still slung on her shoulders.
“Really?” she croaked out. Richie must have slapped Carmen on the back because she heard him slap Richie back.
“Ignore him. Doors open on the 1st.” The line stayed quiet for a second.
“I’ll see if I can make it, but you know it gets.” Y/n wasn’t going to make it, she was taking it out of the calendar right now.
A door closed on his end and the line was disconnected.
Before y/n could chuck her phone at her couch and sleep off her day, it rang again. Facetime.
Y/n picked up and was met with a new setting. Carmen noticed her slight confusion.
“New office, what do you think?” He propped his phone up and angled his body so she would see his fully stocked bookshelf. If y/n didn’t know any better she would have assumed that he was trying to impress her.
“Dewey Decimal?”
“Alphabetical.” He pulled out a book and showed her the self-made label on the bottom that proved that it was in fact in alphabetical order.
Y/n let herself be a bit difficult, “Your handwriting leaves something to be desired.”
Carmen covered his smirk with his tattooed hand before locking into her eyes,”Why don’t you come over and help me out?”
Y/n almost let herself fold before recollecting herself, “Unless you plan on working part time for our HR department, I don’t see that PTO being approved.”
“Sick days?”
“Why don’t you come back to New York. Wanna slice oranges for our tarte á l’orange? Maggie misses you.” Y/n was referring to the kitchen’s pastry chef who didn’t miss Carmen in the slightest.
“Are you opening a restaurant?” Y/n was a bit floored that she was getting sass from a man who put his jeans in an oven and shirts in kitchen cupboards.
“Are you? Looks like your team thinks you're distracted? If I didn’t know any better I would say you're calling me to distract yourself from calling the repair guy.”
“He can wait… tell me what I have to do to make this happen.”
“I took a week off, and we live in a capitalist hellscape so I already used up my PTO for the year. Don’t worry, I’ll make it to the next one.”
“You think I'm good enough to franchise.” Carmen ran his hands through his hair as he laughed and y/n cheeks warmed as his shirt slightly lifted as he leaned back.
“No, when this one fails and you have to make it another Mcdonalds.” Carmen gave her an adoring smile that made her wonder if he heard something else.
He put his right leg on his knee and spun in his chair, thinking.
“It’s better if I don’t come, what if your team hates me or worse they love me, force me to be their leader, and kick you to the sidelines.”
“I can be on the sidelines for you.” Y/n ignored the fluttering in her stomach.
“I’ll see…”She offered.
Carmen let out a sigh and y/n almost felt bad but the distance was good. They didn’t work together anymore, they texted irregularly, they barely were face to face, and it was working for them.
She was forgetting the man who froze like a battered dog when she was being shredded in the kitchen, and she could forgive him for being selfish because now he was too far away for it to affect her. Closing the gap risked her relearning why she didn’t get close to him in the first place.
His lips parted like he was constructing the words.
“What?” Y/n was just about ready to hang up and get ready for bed.
“I just…I don’t know. I thought that I could…you would see something different.”
“It’s a restaurant, I've seen plenty of those.”
“It’s different, I swear. I worked hard on shit and it's new and different. It's …better.” A chef analogizing his restaurant to represent himself was so unoriginal y/n would have laughed in their faces if it wasn’t Carmen.
“I’ll save you a table.” He offered.
“Looks like you’ve got a lot of tables to save.” Carmen quirked up his eyebrows.
“Your sister s, Sydney’s dad, Richie’s friends, me. Are there going to be any tables left for customers?”
“I need them all there, y/n.” He didn’t need to say her name but it still reverberated inside of her sending a shiver down her spine. In response, y/n felt a warm wave of relief wash over her, knowing that she couldn’t quite explain why that felt good to hear.
“I'm nobody.” Y/n squinted her eyebrows in doubt.
There's a hint of desperation in his voice, as if he's been searching for something that y/n couldn’t figure out, “You saw me in New York and here so you're the only person who can compare the two. I don’t have anyone like that left.” Carmen rounded his eyes in closeted adoration and y/n’s throat closed up.
“I’ll see what I can do but no promises. I have to go… don’t forget to call the fridge guy.”
Y/n was a strong independent woman who built her own furniture, threw out her own trash, and even back out by putting an arm around the passage seat headrest so when she got an email the next day with tickets to Chicago, her head began to swim.
Her phone buzzed, Meet me halfway.
Y/n left him on read and gave herself the freedom that Carmen had unknowingly denied her.
–
Birthdays were never y/n’s favorite holiday, she didn’t bother taking the day off and she stopped telling people since her CIA days, so she felt a little disgusted when grown adults would make a whole situation about this day. Celebrating birthdays in a restaurant was annoying for the kitchen but celebrating management’s family birthdays made y/n nearly quit every year.
It came around like clock work, just as she forgot about it, her boss's friend's (or whoever) birthday would roll around and she had to remind herself that the only reason she still had a job here was because she didn’t break down in hysterics and the only reason she stayed was because the bill wouldn’t stop just because she disliked her job.
It had already been a month since she and Carmen last spoke, they went back to curt messages. Y/n couldn’t help herself from texting back even though she knew better. The last message was a picture of Carmen in front of a finished kitchen, he puckered his lips to hide the full grin and seeing such joy, even if it was from a photo, was infecting every corner of her mind.
The week was just as difficult as it always was, and the last thing y/n wanted to do was a large dinner like this but it was like the universe wanted to beat her numb.
Y/n forgot to mention that the HVAC system had gone down for the afternoon and it was still over 100 degrees in the kitchen. As she chopped some chives, she ignored the expo coughing, and she walked over her collapsed body when expo inevitably passed out, to grab some more butter from the walk-in.
Y/n stole a glance from the corner of her eyes, they had no expo and a full house. Y/n puckered her lips in hidden contentment when the head chef practically roared and the unconscious women to get up and y/n swallowed a laugh when he had enough and started to manage the expo.
Y/n’s eyes darted to her left and finally felt that Carmen wasn’t working there. He had long been replaced, twice over, and y/n went back to her foie gras terrines trying to figure out why it even mattered now.
As orders were being barked and a rehearsed chorus of, “Chef” played back, y/n stalled her knife noticing that the pitch was off. It was missing the bass of a chef that had left just about everything to run away and was trying to convince her to do the same.
“WHERE THE HELL IS THE CONSOMME FOR 14?”
For the first time in years, y/n flinched. It wasn’t noticeable barring the fact that her little jump made her slice her finger. Her breath picked up as the blood pooled over the chives, she grabbed her cutting board and dumped the herbs in the trash and grabbed another board. She pressed the kitchen towel deeper into her finger, trying to remember where the first aid kit was from her orientation week.
Just as y/n was about to run to the stove to cauterize the wound herself so she could keep working, someone grabbed her arm and handed her a bandaid. She looked up to give them a silent thank you but they were gone. She hastily wrapped herself up and tried to lean inconspicuously on the counter because heat was getting to her too.
A few minutes later when by and y/n had fallen back to her usual rhythm even as a waiter walked in, she had learned to ignore waitstaff when they entered the kitchen because they never brought good news. Y/n could feel a piercing glare on her back.
“You sent out a Coq au Vin, chef?” Y/n didn’t have to look up to know he was talking to her but she still met his searing glare.
“15 minutes ago, chef.” Y/n resisted wiping the bead of sweat that was torturously grazing down her face.
He stared her down like he was waiting for her to admit that she had actually eaten it, she kept her nose high and bit her tongue to stifle the grimace that was forming.
“It's missing.” An ugly pause passed throughout the kitchen, she had almost convinced herself that she hadn’t actually finished it but the shift in his gaze brought her back to reality, he remembered her bringing it to him.
In the smelting kitchen, in her cramped corner, with her chef whites sticking to her, she almost let this pathetic man think he knew more than her.
The command echoed out of her before she could contain herself, “Refiring the coq au vin.”
A familiar chorus of, “Chef” was missing its usual thoughtlessness, y/n wasn’t supposed to do anything till the head chef told her, she had given herself a command, it was sacrilege.
Y/n was never a target, she watched as others were shot down time and time again, and moved on when she saw them break down crying in the middle of a dinner rush. The most she could give them was aloofness but as she stood in her corner, drowning in orders, and having every single one sent back from expo to redo, or having to wait longer for plates then everyone else and getting reamed for her dishes coming in late, she felt the weight of the kitchen’s gaze on her shoulders and wished someone one was there for her.
She kept her face composed as she finished up the last of her orders, her vision swaying from dehydration. Just as she was about to give into the weightlessness, the clock struck midnight and the kitchen was officially closed.
She did her best to walk to her locker, and sat on a chair with her head in her hands wondering how she was getting out the door, let alone go home. Her phone buzzed in her lap and knew that it was Carmen. His restaurant was opening tomorrow and she didn’t want to hear about it right now.
The rest of the chefs filed out, each giving her a glance that told her that she had finally been properly assimilated, just five years too late.
Carmen was giving her a taste of freedom in Chicago and that fleeting freedom was too seductive to ignore. The job offer echoed in y/n head, she wasn’t a good fit with them, she didn’t want a “work family”, but the temptation was poisoning her.
She opened the text, it was a simple picture of Carmen in his chef whites, he was practicing the “look” the day before the restaurant opened. He had even slicked his hair back with pomade like he used to in New York, and for the first time in months she laughed.
The sips of warm gatorade had sobered her up enough to walk out, just barely missing the head chef on her way out the door. She performed a blasphemous act in the back of the uber, she opened the email that Carmen had sent a month ago and checked the tickets date and time. Tomorrow morning, and like the universe was giving back after being shitty today, the French Laundry was closed for the next few days.
Y/n got home, ate two day old Thai food, sat on her couch astounded by her sheer audacity as she checked in for her flight. She was sure that Carmen would have gotten the confirmation email by now but he did her the service of not mentioning it.
Y/n packed a carry-on early in the morning and got to the airport, each checkpoint moving much faster than usual. The TSA didn’t make her take off her shoes, her gate was super close, and they had upgraded her to first class because a couple wanted to sit together. All the stars were pointing to Chicago…to Carmen and she tried not to think about how she was running away from her problems just like he did.
As she reached her hotel room, she hesitated to text Carmen. Nothing felt right to say, so she gave him the best thing right now, some space. She busied herself with getting ready and watching the shopping network.
As y/n approached the restaurant, she was a bit taken aback that the line was still so long. She stood next to an elderly couple who were talking about mortgage rates going down which meant that another housing bubble was bound to burst and the economy would be in shambles. Y/n tried not to think about how she couldn’t afford to lose her job right now because she had nowhere else to go.
No special treatment tonight, Carmen wouldn’t know when she got here so he could focus on his own work. She entered the restaurant and was relieved that the host and the waitstaff were new. She was led to her table and hesitated to pick up the menu. This was a long time coming and opening it felt so empty. It was like when she submitted her last assignment for highschool, alone on a Thursday night wondering why something so big wasn’t registering.
As she digested the menu, she let her fingers trace over the faux leather and the brown stitching. She wanted to know why he chose brown stitching, or why he stuck with Seven Fishes despite the fact that he must have made it a million times in the French Laundry? Why did he choose certain wines, or why was there a donut on the menu?
It's not like she hated the menu but a horrible thought dawned on her that all she wanted right now was for Carmen to sit across from her and talk about everything that she had missed. Every detail of this restaurant that reflected a better him, and how she had so much more to learn.
Her phone burned on her lap but she didn’t text him. Instead, she watched the people murmur about work and the food and y/n couldn’t help but hate herself for her self imposed loneliness.
Y/n did herself a disservice by coming towards the end of the shift so the crowd was thinning and her cover was close to being blown. Her dish arrived and she didn’t need to walk into the kitchen to know that Carmen made this, after years of taste testing his food, his flavor was ingrained in her DNA. Y/n finished her bucatini and felt compelled to order another despite being stuffed, just to swirl the flavor around her tongue for a bit longer. She ordered the aforementioned donut, paid and left.
She stood in the crisp Chicago air, a few steps from the restaurant, grappling with the audacity that led Carmen to abruptly leave the French Laundry. Immaturely, she couldn't help but wonder why he got to leave and she couldn’t. She knew why, but she let herself fester in the pain, it kept her alive.
She was used to being alone but for the first time in her life she yearned for someone to be there for her. She had isolated herself to such an extent that she knew that right now no one knew where she was or what she was doing, even Carmen couldn’t be sure that she actually went on the flight.
She could hear the last of the customers file out and the bussers clearing tables. She felt her phone vibrate and took a few breaths before she picked it up.
How was the bucatini?
Y/n lips waivered and a pit dug itself in her chest as she tried to compose herself, but she felt her eyes watering. This wasn’t fair, he wasn’t playing fair.
She hid her face in her hands, and tried to regain some of her dignity.
She stood there for what felt like a few seconds and felt someone stand next to her followed by the familiar sound of a lighter.
Y/n bit her lips shut and stared ahead, knowing that she was stronger than this.
“I didn’t take you for the donut type.” Carmen said in between puffs, he had changed into more casual clothes.
Y/n inhaled deeply through her nose and put her arms down, the night has hidden any trace of her vulnerability. “I wanted to try something different.” Y/n tried to put more power behind her voice but it came out too soft for her liking.
Carmen studied her profile and y/n knew better than to turn away, so she faced him. Her moist eyes turned his eyes into a kaleidoscope of silvers, blues and gold.
“How did you know I was in the restaurant?” Y/n was relieved that she was able to get it all out before her voice cracked.
A silence passed through them and y/n wished they were doing this somewhere more private.
He gave her a look, I know you.
The air hung heavy with tension as Y/n responded to Carmen's humored dismissive look. "You don't know shit,", a sardonic smile playing on her lips. She nonchalantly extended her hands toward Carmen's cigarette, a move that seemed almost too casual for the charged atmosphere. She was reaching out for the small remnants of warmth that she knew she would lose in a few hours, because right now and right here, he was there for her.
Their fingers brushed in the exchange, a subtle yet palpable connection that lingered in the air. It was a moment that could have easily been avoided, but neither of them seemed willing to retreat.
As the smoke curled around Y/n, she maintained a facade of cool composure, seemingly unfazed by the intimacy of the shared smoke. It was as if the brief touch and the exchange of breath and saliva meant nothing more to her than the inhale and exhale of the smoke itself. The proding sense of sadness thumping in the back of her head telling her that this couldn’t last, they couldn’t last.
“I liked the food.” Y/n returned the cigarette. “It's different…better.”
Carmen looked at her like he had a million questions that he wanted to ask and y/n wondered if she was giving him the same look.
She leaned back, “Don’t you have an alley or something? Smoking out front is so highschool.”
“Syd threw up in the alley.”
Y/n raised an eyebrow and wondered if this is how far they would go, she would have savored him for a moment longer if she knew it was going to end so soon.
Carmen stood straight and tilted his head so she would follow him.
“They cleaned up fast.” Y/n marveled at the vacant restaurant, the lights were dimmed and Carmen led her to the office.
“I think they wanted to get out of here before the last train left.” Carmen held the door open for her and the familiar heat of his hand hovering over the small of her back was a welcomed surprise.
Despite the practicality of the situation, the impending departure and the need for a clean, cold goodbye, there was a lingering question of whether she could maintain that distance. Carmen's proximity, the heat of his touch, and the shared space was going to make it challenging to stick with a clinical farewell.
The door clicked shut and y/n let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.
“Do your worst. I can take it, y/n.” Carmen sighed, y/n’s stomach fluttered and she dug her nails into her palms to compose herself.
“Service was good, the waiter filled up my cup when it was halfway. The silverware was clean and rolled tight. Points off because my fork was from a different manufacturer from the rest of the dinnerware.” Y/n saw Carmen clench up for a second before nodding in concentration. It felt as if each syllable was being burned into his memory and the intensity of his gaze was making her sweat.
She gave herself the satisfaction of sitting because her feet were killing her and Carmen sat on the floor, leaning against the wall.
“The saltiness of the guanciale harmonizes with the richness of the eggs and the sharpness of the Pecorino Romano. The dish was velvety but delicate. The guanciale provides a necessary contrast in texture. Simple but precise. I think…I know that it was the best thing I’ve had in a while, chef.”
Yn was met with a humming silence.
“We can do this tomorrow, I know you had a long day.” Y/n offered.
“No…” He shook his head and his eyes were distant before landing on her’s, the severity behind them had made her sit back, “I want to hear what you have to say.”
She extended her legs towards Carmen, “You see these, chef?” Carmen hesitated to look forward like he was in the middle century and ankles were scandalous before gazing at her soft legs.
“They hurt like a motherfucker.” She flexed the back of her heel to show the blisters that had formed. “I gotta take care of this back in the hotel.”
Carmen slowly shifted his gaze from her legs to her face before wordlessly getting up and walking out. Y/n rubbed her temple and allowed herself to be selfish once more by downing Carmen’s abandoned sugar free Redbull left on the desk.
As she collected her stuff to get back to the hotel, Carmen returned with ice and first aid.
He placed everything on the floor so slowly that y/n could only assume that he was stalling.
Carmen looked up at her with his bright, almost silver, eyes and his eyes asked, Can I help you? Can I be there for you like you were here for me today?
It was like time had stopped as y/n struggled to bring oxygen to her lungs. She mindlessly nodded yes and the first touch made her heart thump against her chest. His hands were scorching against her skin and every lingering touch imprinted its memory on to her. As he iced the swelling and followed it by placing his warm hand to ease the shock in temperature, it became hard for y/n to focus.
Carmen did her the courtesy of abandoning the ice pack. She took a hollow and staggered breath, “Ask me anything.”
Carmen looked up from her, she hadn’t noticed that he had removed her heels, and asked her about every minor detail about her experience. He wasn’t aware that he was softly rubbing his thumb across her ankle, and y/n couldn't seem to move on from it.
When y/n finished her summary, Carmen’s fingers seized dancing across her skin and she regretted not talking for longer.
He didn’t let his hand leave her even as he asked, “How is work?”
Y/n grunted out in dismay and she leaned back and would have fallen backwards if Carmen hadn’t grabbed the seat between her legs. They both stared at his hand before Carmen quickly pulled back, y/n mumbled a quick thanks.
“It’s great.” Y/n sarcastically pushed.
Carmen quirked up his eyebrows in a sarcastic manner and y/n ignored him.
“It was Henry’s birthday.” Carmen hummed in understanding, birthdays were always a mess.
“You wouldn’t guess who was doing the expo yesterday.”
“I have an idea.” Y/n couldn’t deny that his smirk sent her spinning. He understood the fiber of that world so well even though he was hundreds of miles away, and she was barely hanging on to a tread.
Carmen continued, “Feel bad for the poor bastard who was his punching bag for the night.”
Y/n swallowed the burning lump in the back of her throat and kept her gaze relaxed and gave him a soft, “Yeah.”
The silence was making y/n uncomfortable so she mustered her remaining energy to give him a relaxed smile.
Carmen’s face didn’t give anything away, “How bad was he?”
“I'm here, aren’t I?” Y/n chuckled humorlessly.
“I know you're strong but I was being serious, y'know…about the job.” Carmen asserted.
Y/n softened her eyes, he was making this so much harder for her. “Noted, chef. Why Chicago?” Y/n diverted.
“Inherited the restaurant from my brother and I had to deal with it. He killed himself.”
“I shouldn’t have brought it up-”
“It’s fine, I was going to have to tell you anyway.” Y/n didn’t have to know anything, she was no one and she didn’t deserve his trust. “It was a sandwich place before we renovated it.”
Y/n laughed in disbelief, “You made sandwiches? They sell truffles in Chicago?”
Carmen smirked as he went back to mindlessly rubbing her ankle again. “Regular sandwiches.”
Y/n widened her eyes and couldn’t hold her laughter in, “Pictures or it didn’t happen.”
Carmen fished out his phone and showed her pictures of a messier restaurant.
“I get why you had to gut the place.”
“It's not that bad.” He asked humorously.
“What you have right now is more your style, I like this version better.” Y/n heart skipped a beat when his hand shifted a bit higher up her leg.
“I love the look though,” Y/n squinted at a picture of Carmen standing behind a counter at what looked like a bachelor party.
“What look?”
“You know, the rugged, tired look.” Carmen rolled his eyes. “No seriously, I didn’t even know you had so much ink.” Y/n zoomed in on a tattoo of some numbers on his biceps.
“I'll show you all of them later.” Y/n let out a laugh as she handed back the phone. She wondered if she was hiding her nerves well.
"You spend all your time at work, when do you find the time to sit in a tattoo shop?"
"Prioritizing important shit, I guess."
"If you can prioritize getting tattoos and running a restaurant, when do you have time for your girlfriend?" Subtle, passive, non-probing was what y/n was going for. She forced herself to watch his reaction.
Carmen gave a puzzled look, his scrunched up eyebrows and distant look was accompanied with a quiet, "Don't have one."
Y/n gave a casual "Hmm…you sure? Seems like you got time to kill, always so relaxed." Carmen curled his lips up and bit his lips to stifle his smile. His lips turned pale pink before returning to rose red and y/n wanted to reach down and run her pointer finger along his lips to feel his heat.
"When I have the time. The restaurant is new and I need-"
"I thought you said you knew how to prioritize?" Y/n leaned back and rested her cheek on her fist.
"Maybe if she's really special."
"And not distracting." Y/n added.
"Then I can prioritize." Carmen adjusted his posture before asking y/n.
"What about you?"
"I am a realistic romantic, so love is real but just not for me. I don't have it in me to text everyday or go to family dinners. But who knows, Mr. Right might make me less shitty and more sunshine and rainbows. "
"Your personality is fine right now." Carmen offered.
Y/n jokingly scoffed before adding, "Then maybe I just need someone to distract from my own problems."
They sat in comfortable silence, but y/n’s eyes widened as she checked the clock, “It’s late.”
“It’s only one.” Y/n gave him a look of disapproval before nudging her foot against his stomach, where it had been resting for the past hour.
“Go home, Carmen.” Carmen wordlessly picked up her heels and slipped them back on to her feet. He stood up and offered his hand.
They walked out the restaurant and y/n pulled out her phone to call a taxi.
“I can drive you.”
Y/n looked over her shoulder at Carmen checking the locks.
“If you drive me, you won't be getting any sleep.” A pause passed through them.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Y/n rushed out.
Carmen cleared his throat, preserved her dignity by not saying anything else and led her to the car.
“You know these things will kill you.” Y/n lifted a Red Bull from the cup holder and cracked it open and took a few healthy sips.
Carmen wordlessly slipped the can out of her hands at a red light, “I need it more than you.” He looked down at the lipstick mark and took a few savored sips. At the next light, y/n could see the remnants of red lipstick on his bottom lip.
They reached y/n’s hotel too fast for each other's liking. Y/n swiveled her head, Carmen was already looking at her. She was fighting heavy lids a few minutes ago but now she was sprung with energy.
Y/n looked up in feinted innocence before casually offering, “You want to come up for some tea?” The kettle in her room didn’t work, she checked this morning.
Carmen blinked a few times, wondering if he heard her right, before slowly nodding his head like he wasn’t sure it was a joke.
She unlocked her room door for the both of them and Carmen shut it behind him. With a cautious gesture, y/n extended her hand, placing it close to Carmen's body. The darkness clung to Carmen's form as y/n's fingers grazed his side, a brief but intimate contact that went unnoticed in the dimly lit corridor, to check if the door was locked.
Carmen walked over to the office chair in the corner. Y/n room was so cramped that she was still within arms distance of him as she sat on the foot of her bed.
“The Bear?” Y/n’s inquisitive gaze and playful smile made Carmen’s heart stutter as he nearly forgot what The Bear was, or what his name was.
He cleared his throat, “Berzatto…Bear. It was a nick-name my brother gave me.”
Y/n leaned in a bit closer as she scoffed, “Even the name is good. I kinda hate you a bit more.” She bit her bottom lip to stifle the laugh but was pleasantly surprised that he was bouncing from her eyes to her lips.
He parted his lips to formulate a coherent sentence but y/n extended her heels to the legs of Carmen’s chair and pulled him closer. The look of his thoughts scrambling right in front of her was making it difficult for her to be restrained and poised. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”
His grip on the arms of the chair was telling her that she was headed in the right direction. She kept her hold on Carmen’s chair, as she softly assured, “I have to go back soon, so I’m trying to soak it all in right now.”
“You're leaving?” Carmen mumbled, sharing his attention between her eyes, lips, and her leg. He let his legs relax, which made them meet with y/n’s legs.
“I hate Chicago.” Y/n leaned back. “And I don’t really belong here. My whole life is in New York, and I don’t want to change everything just for-.”
“Come work for me-”
A swift pang of anger rippled through her, he didn’t need her. “You’ve got your plate full, you don't need a distraction.”
“But you do.” Carmen placed a warm hand on her thigh and the heat made her breath heavy, y/n knew where this was going but she wanted it to last as long as it could because she knew that once the sun rose, they were done.
“It’s going to be messy.”
“It won't be.”
The room held its breath as they teetered on the edge of something undefined. The impending dawn loomed, casting a shadow on the delicate illusion they had woven. “I don’t want something serious.” Y/n argued.
“And I dont have the time for something serious.” As Carmen leaned forward, pushing his hands high up her thigh.
As y/n searched for any other reason no to do this, Carmen’s cerulean eye’s hazed with lust seemed to have the opposite effect. Any reservations, logic, or inhibitions that could have prompted her to stop were forcefully pushed away amidst the intoxicating allure of Carmen.
Y/n didn’t know who leaned in first but it didn’t take much time for both of them to topple in the bed. In between huffs and shirts flying off each other Carmen whispered into her lips, “Just pretend it’s real tonight.”
Y/n reeled her head back a second, but Carmen's intense gaze and his trailing hand convinced her otherwise. She leaned back in, hooking her legs around his waist pulling him closer.
Carmen stalled his kisses down the column of her throat, “I thought you wouldn’t come.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” Y/n twisted her hips and in a flash she was straddling him.
She sensed the subtle shiver that ran through him, his unsteady hands finding a resting place on her hips, torn between the desire to reciprocate from below and allowing her to continue her torture. Taking charge, she decided for both of them, lowering herself down to grind against his jeans.
Carmen’s mind went blank and the last thing he saw before he lost all sense of restraint and reason, was y/n’s eyes sparkling.
--
You can read more of my stuff here
End Notes:
I love reading your comments, and that's what motivated me to finish, so share your thoughts bc I want to hear them.
I currently have like 10 half baked drafts and they all suck so this was the sole survivor. This one is kinda self indulgent because I hate my job so much but sometimes no matter how much something makes you miserable, there isn’t a way out, so you have to find something to distract yourself from the dull pain.
I tried to keep it as realistically healthy as a relationship with Carmen can be because that man just needs some space to grow. Honestly, I'm not sure if they'll ever meet again, or maybe they might meet up more now. Im really not sure.
#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy x reader#carmy x you#carmy#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x you#carmy berzatto#carmy the bear#the bear#the bear fic#carmen berzatto x y/n#carmen carmy berzatto#the bear x reader#the bear hulu#the bear imagine#carmen berzatto imagine#carmy berzatto x you#carmy berzatto imagine#jeremy allen white#jeremy allen white imagine
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TMNT 2007!Raph x Fem!Reader: Make Me (NSFW 18+)
Anonymous asked: This is kind of weird but would you be able to write 2007!Raph x reader where Raph is trying to dominant and gets shy when he finds out y/n is more experienced?
ya'll im such an idiot and I accidentally deleted the anon request who had asked for this. Luckily, I keep all the reqs in a google doc when writing lol. Here goes nothing! Let me know if you enjoyed this :)
NOTE: this is my after dark blog, and you're going to find smut here. 2007 is a more mature version of the turtles, and they are around their early/mid 20s. MINORS DNI. WARNINGS : dirty talk, doggystyle, and missionary
Imagine Raphael getting thrown for a loop the first time you have sex with each other
It’s honestly so sudden, neither of you expecting it to happen the way it did.
Now, Raph has had his fair share of sex. If the turtles had to take a guess, Raph would have the highest body count out of the four of them (Donnie takes the cake for last place, he’s a scaredy-cat).
He vividly remembers women practically throwing themselves onto him while he was The Nightwatcher long ago
I mean, could you blame him? A mysterious man in metal armor with a sexy accent who protects the city?
He felt invisible, being able to be himself and enjoy life the way it was supposed to be lived
In short, Raph here is no stranger to women- he knows what’s got to be done.
When you first met the turtles, it was thanks to a clumsy Mikey during patrol one night who came crashing into your bedroom window.
With some panicked explanations, promises to keep a secret, and to fix a window, bonds were made. Friendship blossomed.
Feelings blossomed.
You seemed to get along well with each and every turtle, however, something about the smug-looking golden-eyed one who didn’t speak much at first had grabbed your attention.
As you began to come down to their home often, you found yourself having more opportunities to interact with the second oldest brother: Raphael. He had this bad-boy aura that had you hooked.
However, it wasn’t what you thought it was.
Raphael constantly teased you, and you constantly did the same back. He had no malicious intent, and neither did you. You had simply piqued each other's interest.
“Hey shorty,” Raph snickers at you trying to reach for something on a high shelf.
“Hey hothead,” You tease back, “How about you use those big muscles of yours to help me instead of standing there and enjoying the show?” His eyes watched your breasts bounce in your shirt as you struggled to reach what you needed.
Oh, and he loved it. That you noticed what his game was, and that you were more than happy to play.
His non stop picking had been his fun way of flirting with you, to which you did the same back. As it went on, a friendly yet flirtatious connection had been made.
Only, a cloud of sexual tension seemed to follow you around every time you interacted with the turtle in red.
There was something about Raphael that got your panties in a twist. As time went on, you found yourself fantasizing about how you’d make your move on him. It seemed that your sexual appetite grew hungrier with each and every scenario you imagined in your head.
You wondered just how Raph was able to get you going.
Unbeknownst to you, Raphael’s reptilian instincts give him a heightened sense of smell.
AKA, you didn’t have to tell him, he knew- no- he could smell how down bad you were for him.
Luckily for him, your human senses weren’t as strong.
He remembered how he tested the waters a bit, trying to see if he was the cause of the smell of arousal coming from your sex. He had to make sure you were actually thinking of him in that way.
Long story short, he was right. One day, he placed his hands on your waist during training, only for his nostrils to be hugged with your excitement in between your legs.
And thus, the more he flirted with you, the more he wanted- no- needed you.
It seemed the feeling was mutual, yet you both went about your days as normal.
Until one day, you said two words that sent Raph over the edge.
Brace yourself, Y/n.
-------
“Ya ain’t gonna take me down that easily, shorty.” Your eyes follow Raph’s figure, watching as he circles you around the dojo. Since the streets have been getting pretty bad, Raphael took it upon himself to teach you a few things just in case.
You could almost feel your heart pounding out of your chest. Being pushed to your limits, you weren’t giving up so quickly, either. You could see Raph looking you up and down, his amber eyes stopping right at your chest. You made a good choice to wear a tight tank top today, huh?
Quickly, his eyes shoot back up to look at your own, and suddenly, he’s studying you to see what his next move could be.
“I bet money you can’t take me down this time.” You smirk, albeit you were talking out of your ass; seeing Raph’s devious smile got you going.
“Oh, so now we’re delusional?” The turtle chuckles as he gets in a fighting stance, “Looks cute on ya, Y/n.” Raph closes the space between you both inch by inch, and suddenly, his fists are flying toward you.
He was ready to see if you remembered what you practiced.
You quickly dodge his first hit, brushing the loose hair out of your eyes, “I told you,” Your knees bend, and Raphs last punches don’t connect, giving you the upper hand while he’s distracted. “I pay,” with a sweep of your left leg, you were able to catch Raph off balance. “Attention!” To finish, you hop on his shell from behind, touching the pressure point on his neck with two fingers (thanks, Master Splinter!) He easily topples over, and you pin his arm behind him as you straddle the back of his rough shell.
Okay, maybe Raphael underestimated you a bit. He had no idea where you’d learn pressure points from, he didn’t teach you those.
Seemingly defeated, the turtle under you sighs, his breathing becoming regular and less shallow as his heart rate goes down.
“Did Leo teach ya that?” He huffs, straining under your control. A prideful smile is formed with your lips.
“Nope, Master Splinter did.” Why would Leo teach you something like that, anyway? I mean, it wasn’t like he trained you alone. It was always as a group with their sensei. Leonardo taught you safer tricks that didn’t require you to get so close to your opponent.
You were enjoying your little victory, and what kind of victory would it be if you didn’t rub it in Raph’s face?
“Did I really beat Mister Hothead?” You teased the turtle under you, whose annoyed eyes seemed to burn into your skin for you to set him free.
“Aigh’t, ya got me, now, get off.” Raphael’s rough accent was music to your ears, and you couldn’t imagine letting this opportunity go to show him what you were made of. Your grip on his arm becomes tighter, and you lower your lips to his exposed neck.
What’s the point of teasing the big teddy bear if some flirting isn’t involved, right?
“Make me.”
Suddenly, Raphael stops struggling and falls silent. You follow suit, alleviating the pressure you put on his body while on top, letting your guard down in confusion. Before you can ask what was going on, you feel yourself being flipped over, with your back hitting the hardwood floor and Raph’s face centimeters away from your own. Your arms are pinned at the top of your head by one of his hands, while the other is placed under your chin.
“Come again?” He purrs, eyes scanning for any sign of you wanting him to stop. But, you don’t. In fact, you wanted him to keep going.
“I said, ‘Make me.” You could feel the heat between your legs begin to rise, and your heart practically beating out of your chest. You watched as golden eyes behind a red mask looked into your own before his free hand moved toward your bra strap.
“Ya think ya so innocent, dontcha?” You could almost jump out of your skin from the feeling of butterflies invading your stomach. It felt electrifying with every touch the turtle gave you.
“Ya think I don’ know?” His face dives into your neck, taking a slow lick before suckling in a spot that causes your body to shiver in desire. “I can smell ya, I know that ya been wantin’ this.” You wished he would let go of your hands to give you free will, eager to take the lead and surprise him.
It wasn’t long until your soft whimpers caused a throbbing erection to emerge, and when his hand let go of your wrists bound at the top of your head, your fingers found their way to his biceps, giving them a light squeeze.
“Like you haven’t been wanting it, too” You challenged, trying to keep all composure. Raph comes up from working on your neck, his eyes darting to your lips that continue to tease him even though he has the upper hand. He couldn’t wait to shut you up.
He did just that. Before you could think of something slick to say, his green lips crashed on yours, not coming up for air once. It seemed all the pent-up sexual frustration was being let out in this very moment in the middle of the dojo.
Speaking of, it’s amazing how nobody came in by now.
“I’ll take you right here,” You knew he would. Name a time or place and Raph would be down. You could feel tingles up and down your body from the friction, your nipples hardening from the arousal, and Raph's tongue intertwining with your own.
It was a long time coming, and before you know it, Raph’s three-pronged hand moves one of your thighs over, only for them to rub circles around your clothed clit. Now sensitive, you wondered just how you could get Raph crumbling beneath you. “You’d like that, won’t ya?” Oh, he knew exactly what the fuck he was doing. Every sentence he said in between kisses drove you up the wall, the strong desire to ride him until the wheels fell off seemed to take over, and you knew you had to prove yourself. Raphael has no idea who he’s messing with.
His fingers then move to the hem of your leggings, dropping the hint he wants them off.
“Make sure it's locked, big guy.” Your voice hoarse from a dry throat. Looking at you one last time, Raph makes the conscious decision to listen to you. Sure, he could take you to his room and get it on, but he couldn’t wait. He wanted you now. As he makes his way to lock the dojo, you undress behind him, tank and bottoms discarded in a pile off to the side. Your red bra teasing the red-banded turtle, almost begging him to snap it off you. But before he could even think about doing so, he watched you motion for him to come over sitting on the workout bench by the dumbbells.
“My turn,” Your body naturally gravitates toward Raphael’s sweet spots when he sits beside you. Before he can take control, you straddle his waist before he can go anywhere. Arms around his neck, your back arches in pleasure as his hands go up and down your exposed sides, heating you up as he does so. Now, Raphael didn’t expect you to take control of him that easily. If anything, he didn’t think he had it in you. But, here you were, caressing his body and grinding yourself on his throbbing cock, a wave of sinful thoughts making up his mind as he felt the pre-cum leaking onto his thigh. You must’ve noticed, because you dip a finger in the sticky substance, placing it in your mouth as the turtle’s cheeks heated up from watching you taste him.
“Sweet,” You teased, giggling at the sight of a shy yet enticed Raphael.
You really knew what you were doing.
But, shyness aside from not being the only experienced one, he’s ready to show you just what you’re in for. With the help from you, his erection springs up after a swift movement of his lower plastron. His dick stood up with pride, begging for warmth as it throbbed once exposed to the cold air. Once in your sight, it had your own sex wanting to welcome it home. Raphael could smell it, how your pussy soaked your panties, and he couldn’t wait to take them off and make you his.
Picking you up and laying you on the hardwood floor, you unclip your bra as Raph’s fingers find the band of your panties, throwing them to God knows where in the dojo. You’ll get them later. They didn’t matter right now. What mattered was the way Raph admired your excitement, watching you let out a submissive moan as he dipped his head in to taste you.
“Sweet,” He comments huskily, words vibrating your cunt that sends a signal to your brain to ask for more. You didn’t just want his tongue, you wanted him inside of you.
“Stop teasing~” You murmur, your chest heaving after each and every lick your sensitive bud takes. It was enough to get your cavern dripping, and Raphael wasted no time in flipping you over onto your stomach and getting your ass up in the air, arching your back as his hands gripped your hips. You could feel his tip pressing against your tight hole, and as he took your wrists to hold them behind your back, he slowly inserted himself, your pussy squeezing him tight as he stretched you out to the max. He wanted to go crazy, but he knew he needed you to adjust before doing so.
Your body aching for more decides to meet him halfway, your ass coming into contact with his plastron in an instant, swallowing him whole. He was so big, and he knew it, too. Your loud moan after taking him all in caused Raph to hesitate.
“Not too loud, pretty.” His hand then frees your arms, and almost immediately you clasp a hand onto your mouth, muffling all sounds you were making. Once Raph got into the swing, his wild side came out. Before he knew it, he was thrusting in and out of you at an animalistic speed. He was a rough lover, and you loved every second of it. His praises on how good you felt and how wet you were caused shivers throughout your body and mind. The sound of skin slapping against skin was enough for you to be in a trance. You could feel how his curved dick hit you in the right spot deep in your cavern, pressing against your G-spot. How his hands continuously guided your hips and ass to back up against his plastron, and he smirked as he observed you crumble beneath him. You were practically biting your lip to keep yourself from shrieking in pleasure. The last thing you needed was anyone knocking and destroying your high.
“You’ve always wanted me, huh?” “Fuck, you’re so tight,” All of his remarks whispered into your ear as his hand moved toward your neck, choking you lightly. Your hands went over his own, begging for his grip to tighten. He stopped for a moment, then gave into your noiseless demand.
“Didn’t take ya as a freak, Y/n,” He chuckles, watching you turn around to face him. If the sound wasn’t enough, your flushed, fucked-out face was enough to drive him wild.
He was close, but he couldn’t finish like this. He needed to see all of you. He needed you facing him, tits bouncing with every thrust. His hand around your windpipe and your eyes rolling back into your skull.
So as he unexpectedly stops, your legs begin to shake. “W-wha?” You strain your back, trying to get relief. It isn’t until Raph uses his strength to flip you over as if you weighed nothing that you knew what was about to happen.
He wasn’t done, he was just getting started.
“I wanna see ya beggin’ fa me, got it?” Raph grips his member, placing it in between your wet folds as he churrs, locking eyes with you to make sure you understood the assignment.
“Y-yes.” You were hypnotized by Raph. How his girth was enough to stretch you out, and was long enough to hit places you didn’t think were possible. A smirk plays along his lips, and you feel his tip at your entrance once again. He leans in, lips crashing into yours before you feel him fill you up once more. Only this time, he was hitting your sweet spot even better. You felt yourself nearing the top of the hill, waiting for just the right thrust to send you over the top and back down again.
“Tell me how much ya wanted me, baby,” You see Raph’s focused look as his hands gripped your cupped breasts, ripping them clean off before tossing them to the side. He plays with your hardened bud, alternating from the left and the right.
“Shit.. a-a lot! I wanted this so bad, Raph~” Your sweet voice had created the music he wanted to hear, and you felt him slam into you harder. It wasn’t until his hand left your breasts and moved down to your swollen clit. Looking up at you, then back down at your sex, he gives you a smirk before getting to work. “Oh! Fuck, Raph!” His finger quickly flicking your clit like it was a bell, making it ring in ways that caused you to reach the top of the hill.
“Fuck, please,” Your breathy moans became uneven, and your body came millimeters away from your well-needed orgasm, “Don’t fucking stop,” Your words became slurred and sloppy, and Raphael wouldn’t want to have it any other way. “You’re doing so good, Raph, fuck.” You were copping pleas, just like he wanted. Your sweet voice interrupted by unsolicited wonton moans caused Raph to fuck you like there was no tomorrow. He studies your face, and your half-lidded eyes watch as beads of sweat litter his emerald skin, the sweet sinful smell of sex filling the air as you finally come to your senses. “Think you could fill me up?” You had asked so innocently despite the obvious whine in your voice. You sounded so needy and sexy, that Raphael couldn’t hold it in any longer. All of his senses were being simulated, and the sight of you was the cherry on top. He had you exactly where he wanted you: crumbled, fucked-out face, rosy cheeks, and begging for him to cum.
You tightened around him, a wave of pure euphoria taking over you as you came to the squelching sound of you finishing all over Raph’s member. Your body shakes as he doesn’t stop, moments go by before he slows down, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. You lean up to lock lips, and his thrusts quicken before he groans huskily into the sloppy kiss. He had reached the top of his own hill, and he couldn’t wait to fill you up and paint your insides white.
When he’s finally ready, he puts his forehead on yours, and you watch as he becomes weak at the knees, bucking his hips to meet your pelvis one last time before you feel something warm shoot through you. The thought of Raph’s cum filling you up alone caused you to moan in ecstasy, never mind the feeling of it.
Raph shifts his weight, holding himself up with his reserved strength. It wasn’t like he was finished. No, Raph’s libido was so high and mighty, this was just the pregame.
“I kind of feel bad…” You trail off. You felt Raph’s cum leak from your pulsating cunt, pooling onto the floor under you. Droplets of sweat littered the hardwood, “We made a mess.” But before you could get up, Raph lets out a throaty chuckle, “Ya think so? We could do bettah than this.” His accented voice teases a new idea. Maybe he was right, you guys could make an even bigger mess.
The smell of sex wasn’t leaving the dojo anytime soon, and with the way you went uninterrupted for what seemed like hours, what made you think you’d be stopping here? You sit up on your knees, pushing Raphael back onto his shell. Straddling his waist, his member jumped in response. Once again, he was ready to give it to you. As he watched you grab it at the base and align it with your sex, cum still dripping from the previous activity, you sat down on it slowly until your pelvis met his own.
It was your turn to fuck his brains out, and you were ready to do just that.
// Taglist:
@fjfjdjd
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#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#raphael#tmnt 2007#tmnt imagines#tmnt headcanons#tmnt raph x reader#tmnt raph#2007 raph#2007 tmnt#tmnt fanfiction#tmnt smut
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Terrified to be dropping out of anon for this, but I love, love, LOVE your radiostatic au. It's definitely one of the main things that helped me come to the realization that I am aroace myself, and I've been wanting to make something to show my appreciation for a while. I can't draw very well, but I can organize stuff lol, so I made a google docs organizing all the posts you made for Murder Husbands. It's definitely long, because there's so much amazing content, but I tried. I hope you don't mind. Thank you so much for making this au!
___🎀___ | The | | Link |
OH MY Gosh! This is amazing, Imp!! This must've taken you so much time and effort, and I'm absolutely floored! <3333 And some of the titles you used for the asks had me in stitches! XD
I'm also absurdly honored and humbled that you enjoy these guys so much, and even more so that they connected to you so strongly. There is truly no greater badge that a writer or artist can wear than to have someone explore and learn from their work, and I swear I hold it tight to my chest. You all helped me grow as well, in ways I couldn't have imagined, and I hope you all know how much I adore you guys. <33
As the smallest token of appreciation for the most stunning, organized, and frankly hilarious catalogue of these silly murderous boys anyone could ask for, here's for you, Imp!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d2305542f775a0f0664b9f7a7abbde0c/55337c9fdd2c35df-c0/s540x810/b719595eb0167ea6784aa65b1cbce864f65770be.jpg)
Thanks you guys for all the love and support <33
And special thanks again, @ruleroftheimps ! This is amazing! <33
Check it out everyone! Especially if you were hoping to ask a question and are wondering if it might've been asked before!
(Though, you will find some answers will change as the plot moves along and...situations change ;))
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#ask reply#ask#art#hazbin hotel vox#reply#vox#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel art#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor#staticlovetune#human vox#human alastor#vox x alastor#voxal#one sided radiostatic#radiostatic#radiosilence#All my love guys!#Mwah!#staticradio
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Suffer Pt. 6 | Lucifer x Reader
(This series is complete! All parts are listed on my master list and are linked below!)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6
A single anon request and a 56-page Google doc later, this is the last part, my friends. Thanks to everyone who's been so invested in this, this turned into a bigger project than I thought it would lol But! I'm so glad everyone's been enjoying it, and I hope y'all like the ending! I'm sorry for all the cliffhangers along the way haha (not really)
An extra thank you to the anon who requested a simple babysitter fic and ended up inspiring this whole deal!
♡♡♡
It’s almost been a year since you arrived to the hotel. You arrived when the building was in less than pristine condition, and just a few new guests had arrived. It was a few days after you saw Charlie’s interview on the news, that being what brought you in, despite it’s failure. You were just happy to see her face after all that time. Yet, above the cluttered space and the holes in the walls, there was a more malevolent scheme being hatched.
Any soul who might pass the princess’s room would be bombarded by curses, screams, and growls that sounded less than human. So, most the hotel residents decide it best to avoid that corridor. But not our trusty hotelier. His hand reached for the handle, after deciding that making a bold entrance might not be the best idea. His motion was put to a quick halt by a flurry of curses coming from the other side of the door. Alastor didn’t realize Charlie held such a..colorful vocabulary. Despite that, he went on.
He was greeted with a sight that, unfortunately, wasn’t new to him. An intricate web of red thread connected to pins, all scattered across a once pristine wall. It all connects a collage of images, some that he recognized, some that looked like nonsensical scribbles. The view is obstructed by a furiously pacing princess of Hell. Mumbling completely incoherent complaints, she doesn't notice the opening and closing of her bedroom door.
Alastor, being the sadist he is, props his stance with his microphone, his forced smile unmoving. He enjoys the view for a moment before finally clearing his throat to bring her attention to him. She nearly stumbles over her own feet, ready to scold him for materializing into her room, despite the fact that she was just too out of it to see him walk straight in.
“Al! Good! I need another pair of eyes, come here, come here, look!” She approaches him faster than he expects, and he’s ready to reel away, but is unfortunately hooked around the neck with Charlie’s disturbing strength. With an arm around his shoulders, she drags him forward to examine the wall, as if it made sense to anyone other than her. She starts talking nonsense, again. Something about friendship and Heaven, things he never really cared about. Things he usually tuned out whenever they came up. He only seems to partake in the conversation once he heard your name.
“Alastor.. She’s one of our first guests. I honestly can’t believe anyone showed up after that terrible interview I had earlier, I’m worried i’ll mess things up, again! I mean, all of Hell already thinks i’m a joke.. I just- really need this to go well.” Her mood seems to calm, but to a state of despair. Alastor let’s out a symphahetic awe, patting the top of her head.
“Aw, our poor princess. I understand your concern, my dear, this hotel must mean quite a lot to you.” He faines a sympathy that only convinces Charlie because of her state of disarray.
“Of course it does! And she’s already so kind, I’m sure she’s close to redemption! Maybe this will be a quick one! A-and we don’t even know it, right? That has to be it!” She seems to be reassuring herself, only to be met with an unresponsive radio demon. She groans. Dragging her feet as she walks to the edge of bed, She sits down and lets her head fall into her hands.
“I really need this to work. I’ll do anything for this to work..” It was a quiet mumble, muffled into her palms, but Alastor heard exactly what he wanted to hear. His grin twisted, something Charlie didn’t see, as he sits at her side. He gives her a quick pat to her back, in some form of comfort.
“Charlie, dear, I understand how much this little project means to you.. I do. And I want nothing more than to witness you trying as hard as you can to keep it up.” Even if it fails. Charlie looks up to him, the bags under her eyes suddenly very apparent. “How would you feel about a little deal? Just a small one, no souls on the line, I guarantee.”
She’s been warned by Vaggie in the past. Actually, his entire reputation is enough to make her uneasy by the idea. but…
“I-I don’t know. What did you have in mind..?” She asks reluctantly. He let’s out a chuckle that almost sounds sinister.
“Believe it or not, our little guest and I have a bit of a history.” You can barely call it a history. You served him and Rosie on occasion when you were working in cannibal town. “I’d be delighted to oversee her safety and process to redemption! It’s just as you said, she’s already a gem, Heaven is waiting for her, I can feel it. This will be a breeze for the both of us.” His offer comes off as sincere and touching to Charlie. It wasn’t like him to openly mention his relationships with other demons yet, the idea of you having a close friend throughout this process might just be what you’re missing.
“That’s so sweet of you, Alastor, but.. What do you want from me?” She has to ponder a moment before even considering letting this go on any further.
“Well, you’ve given me a roof over my head and.. A tower for my broadcasts.. Hmm..” He taps his chin, as if he’s in thought. “I’m not quite sure I’ll need from you at the moment, since you’ve just been so hospitable already.” He places a hand to her shoulder, the kind words causing her eyes to well with tears a bit in her weakened state.
“There has to be something.. Well, maybe we can both think this over, once I have a clear head.” She sighs her words, standing from the bedside. Alastor takes her hand and brings her to a halt.
“Oh, but I’d love to get to work as soon as possible, if I may be so bold.. I’m not quite sure what you could offer me in this moment… How about we work out the details, later?” He speaks as if he’s coming up with these words on the spot. He’s had this planned since day one, though. Any chance to get a favor from the princess, he’ll take. Charlie turns to him and sees the strange green glow surrounding their hands. She attempts to pull away, but his grasp is tight.
“Well.. I mean…” She’s still hesitant. He watches her rub her eyes. The still relevant exhaustion gives him a bit of hope.
“It’s simple. I’ll do everything in my power to keep our little guest comfortable and on the path to redemption, no acception. In return, I’ll ask of you one single favor when the time comes.” The glow only continues to swell with his words, and it's clearly making her reconsider. “It’s not as serious as you may think, Charlie. Just a favor between friends, really.” Friendship seemed to strike the right tone.
“I guess.. If it’s for the hotel… Okay, Alastor. It’s a deal.”
-
Back to the dreaded fight just a few months later. You're seeing red.
“Charlie! You made a deal with Alastor?? What were you thinking?” You’re scolding her at this point. The situation barely had time to cool down before your worries began to kick in. Her horns and ruby eyes are still present, she hasn’t even had time to calm herself from the previous display. Lucifer is essentially holding you back, a hand across your front as you try to approach her. It hurts you a bit. Does he think you’re some kind of danger to her?
..Are you putting her in danger?
Alastor is still propped on the ground. He holds a hand around his neck, in hopes of soothing the aggressive collar that had materialized around it just moments ago. You’re all keeping your distance from eachother.
“I-I wasn’t! I wasn’t thinking! It was after the interview! You saw it, you know didn’t go well! I-I had all of Hell laughing at me, laughing at the hotel- He was offering help, I have no idea why he’s acting this way, I swear..! I.. I-” Charlie’s demonic features start to recede when she feels a hand on her back. With heavy breaths, she looks over to Lucifer, who was standing by her side now, ready to comfort her. With a small hiccup, she falls into his arms, gripping his shirt tightly as she did. Her head fell to his shoulder, thoroughly staining his vest with her tears.
The room is uncomfortably filled with her silent sobs. Your heart aches too much looking at the touching display between father and daughter, and your guilt from snapping at her is making you fidget. That’s when you got to thinking.
The deal was for Alastor watch over you until you got to Heaven. For him to do anything in his power to keep you on the path to redemption. To prevent any behavior that might stunt that process..
“Oh.. oh, my god. You’ve been buttering me up this whole time.” You turn to face a still recovering Alastor. The realization grabs the attention of both Morningstars, they raise their heads to look towards the commotion. “The gifts, all the time we spent together.. Was because of this deal? Did.. did you ever actually care about me?” You grip at your heart, ready to rip it straight from your chest. He stands, brushing debris from his entirety.
“I doubt you’ll believe me after such a display of violence, but.. Yes. I did enjoy our time together, despite the requisite of being under my protection. It was quite entertaining before it was… tainted.” His hisses out his final words, contrasting the sweetness of it all. Tainted?
He was kind to you as soon as you arrived in the hotel. Despite the drama, you’ve been inseparable since. Things only got convoluted after..
“Under your protection..? Is that why you’ve been turning me away from Lucifer?! Fuck- it is! You’ve been playing games with me for months! Getting in my head..! H-How could you..” He hasn’t just been physically keeping the two of you apart. From day one, your mind was manipulated into thinking Lucifer never wanted you.
“Well.. not to defend myself, dear, but I was merely considering your redemption. I believe there’s some sort of sin in worshipping the Devil.” Oh, now he’s just trying to make more trouble.
“Oh, fuck you Al, I don’t worship him, I love him!” Your comical response seems to drive a shocked expression or two towards you. But you’re too upset to elaborate. You want to tear him apart. You want to see him experience as much pain as you’re feeling now. Luckily, you weren’t the only one. In a blur of a movement, Alastor was brought back to the ground with a thud.
A foot to his chest, Charlie has him pinned to the ground. Her fists are clenched, the aura surrounding her creates a suffocating heat.
“You took advantage of me, Alastor. You betrayed my friends, my family.. My trust.” Despite the demonic tones underlying her voice, it still sounds pained. You didn’t know she could do this, but her clenched fists become encased in fire. Just like her fathers’.
You’re surprised to see him lurking behind, but not attacking. After all you’ve seen, you were sure he’d have ripped Alastor’s head off at this point. His eyes widen, a display of fear you werent expecting. You follow his gaze to see Charlie holding a familiar angelic spear to his neck.
You hear an unearthly growl come from her chest, and before you can think, your arm is wrapped around hers. You can feel the resistance, realizing you had stopped her right as she was about to put an end to it all. Put an end to him.
“Charlie! Stop!” You yell out. You have to do it once or twice more, your words not quite reaching her yet. Once she turns to you, her eyes are still dripping with tears. “Charlie, don’t. This isn’t you. You’ll regret it, I know you will.. I know you.” You’re begging her to stop. As you feel the muscles in her arm start to relax, you reach for the spear and pull it gently from her hands. She releases her grasp without a fight.
You usher her off, glancing back to Alastor for a moment to see his wound had reopened from that. He had an obvious slash across his neck. You gulped, realizing how close she was to actually killing him. She places her hand over yours, where your arms are still linked.
Charlie let’s out a sigh, looking to her shaking hands, then clenching her fists. She looks to you, then back to Alastor.
“But.. everything he’s done to you… It’s not right, I’m not sure I can forgive him..” She’s speaking quietly to you.
“Well.. You don’t have to forgive him. But he doesn't deserve to die, Charlie.” You state the obvious and it makes her flinch. “And.. you should let him stay.” You hear a collective What? from the room.
“I know I know.. but… this whole place is about second chances. I.. think he can change. And even though, he is being such a dick right now-” Your voice is cracking, as if you can hardly believe your own words. “-I still believe it. You taught me that.” You smile up to Charlie. After a moment you turn your head to Lucifer, meeting his eyes. He looks more in shock than anyone, almost hurt by your act of mercy. You’re surprised by his expression, not realizing Charlie had slipped from your side to approach Alastor.
“She’s right, you know. I can’t forgive you, Alastor. Not yet, at least.. But you’re welcome to stay here, considering all the help you’ve done for the hotel.” She sounds stern, still not entirely convinced this is the right call.
“Yeah, some help you’ve been, you prick..” Those are the first words Lucifer has muttered in awhile. You approach his side to jab him with your elbow and shush him. Despite your scolding action, your presence only reminds him of your previous confession. He crosses his arms and continues to curse quietly, despite his flushed cheeks. Charlie steps closer to Alastor.
“You’re still here, because of her.” Charlie’s voice goes dark as she gestures to you. “That favor I owe you? Is letting you live. This deal is done, Alastor.” She hisses her words out. The intensity and anger radiating from two of the most powerful creatures in Hell is enough to leave even Alastor a bit weary. He nods, still gripping his wound that has been repeatedly opened these past few days. Other than that, he slinks away with barely a scratch. Lucky him.
Once he’s out of sight, Charlie let’s out a groan and falls to her knees. With a unison call of her name both you and Lucifer rush to her side. You place a hand on her back, attempting to keep any displaced hair from her face. She leans into Lucifer’s chest, a heartaching sight of sniffles and apologies.
Before long, she seemed to exhaust herself. Curled up to his chest, Lucifer smiles, despite the circumstances of their closeness. He lifts his eyes just slightly to see yours. You look embarrassed. Before he has a chance to question you, you rise from the ground.
“You should take her to bed.” You say in a hushed tone, gripping your arms and making some distance. “She needs some rest after.. all that.”
“Sure, but.. are you-” He speaks just as softly, opening a portal behind him silently.
“I’m fine. I’m-” You let out a sigh, beginning to move towards the stairs. “She needs to rest, Lucifer.” You remind him.
“Oh- Oh.. Right, yeah.” He rises to his feet, effortlessly lifting Charlie into his arms and stepping through the portal. You try to keep moving. You try to not meet his eyes as the portal shuts, but you find yourself unable to go on. Once they’re gone, you cover your mouth, only making your labored breaths worse, but you’re desperate to muffle any cries. You feel yourself wobble in place, before seeing a portal open to your side. It leads to your room.
After stepping through, you silently approach your bed. Your legs suddenly turn led, and you're hitting your bed with a gasp. Your exhaustion is enough to keep your sobs to a minimum at least.
-
The feeling you have when you wake up is worse than any hangover you’ve had. With alcohol you can at least forget your troubles. But on this morning, you can vividly remember the previous night. You sit up, your body aching. You only wonder why for a moment, before realizing you had fallen asleep sideways across your bed, your legs still dangling off the side. You still need sleep.
You remove any uncomfortable clothing or accessories that had pressed marks into your body and return to bed. The right way, this time. Your pillows feel like heaven after all that’s happened. Heaven..
You try your best to sleep, you really do. Your body is essentially begging you to empty your thoughts just for a few more minutes. But your mind is sending you tossing and turning, any times you close your eyes, all you can imagine is everything you've done wrong. Your eyes drift open after trying to force them shut, and your eyes spot the radio on your nightstand. You sit silently for a moment, maybe try to close your eyes again..
Nope.
Before you have a chance to process every movement, you’re opening your door and thoughtlessly throwing the radio outside. You don’t care where it ends up, clearly. You were waiting to hear it break, into multiple pieces hopefully, before shutting your door. You’re met with a startled groan instead. Taking a moment to process that you had thrown an old-timey radio at someone, you stand at your door with a yawn.
The panic hits you. It could’ve been Alastor, assuming he stayed. It could’ve been Charlie, who doesn’t need any more conflict. You could’ve taken out Niffty as far as you know. Swinging the door open, your eyes see the radio first. They’re wrapped in your victim’s arms.
“Good catch.” You let out hoarsly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes to clearly see Lucifer.. It could've been worse. He let’s out a breathless thanks, clearly having the air knocked out of him. You definitely didn’t hold back with that throw. And it wasn’t exactly a lightweight radio.
“Er.. Sorry. I meant to say sorry.” You try to recover, your words are followed by another yawn. You watch him drop the radio into a small portal he conjured below his grip.
“Good morning to you, too. I was, uh.. about to check on charlie, but-” He’s ready for a conversation that you aren’t. You quickly shake your head, pulling your door in.
“Nono, I need some time.. To wake up. I’ll see you around, though.” You didn’t expect him to perk up from his words, but he does. His smile is infectious. You watch him give you a little wave before shutting your door. You lean against it, your smile that you had been presenting to him, leaves you almost immediately.
There’s so much on your mind. You scan your room, memories of Alastor popping up no matter where you looked. Every chat you’ve had in here, every moment you’d call him in for advice for clothes or accessories, all the nights you’d fall asleep listening to his voice. Your eyes stopped at your vanity seat. Draped across the back is a bittersweet sight, your gifted red sweater. You finally rise to your feet, quickly reaching for it and holding it tightly in your hands. You hesitate before bringing it to your nose. You’re not sure why. Why would you want to remind yourself of anything involving him? Did you think that same scent that’s brought you comfort so many times would have the same affect? You give it a shot.
Hesitantly breathing in, you’re immediately reeling back, throwing the sweater down to your ground. Your hand covers your nose, that sickenlingly sweet honey scent now smells like rotten flesh. Like road kill. You need some air. Digging out a different sweater, one you haven’t had to use in months, you decide you just need to walk around for a bit. The hotel was big enough that you could safely avoid any unwanted attention. Plus, you were sure Alastor’s pride was too wounded to freely roam the hotel. And his other wound.. You hope he’s okay.
You groan out loud, mentally cursing yourself for your sympathetic thoughts. You make your way down to the lobby, and are met with a surprisingly clean lounge. You scan the walls that were previously cracked, the carpets that should be stained with blood, then wonder where Vaggie’s suddenly conjured spear might have gone. What would have possessed Charlie to choose such a weapon.. an angelic spear? She didnt really want him dead, did she? She's emotional. And extreme. Like her father. You decide not to question it any further. It’s not like you were upset by the erasure of the previous night's events.
-
A day or two passed. Your mind seemed unwilling to accept the reality you're currently in. You're anxious, and paranoid to any sentence thrown your way. You're constantly looking around corners, checking all parts if your room before locking it for the night. Yet, if someone were to ask what was making you so nervous, you wouldn’t have an answer.
You found yourself taking those little strolls often, though. Keeping your body in motion, with only the sounds of your breathing keeping you company, seemed to clear your mind. It never helped come to terms with any seething pain you felt, but it cleared your mind at the least.
You'd pieced together a few things in the meantime. After passing the bar, where Angel and Husk were chatting, they would smile and wave, ask you join them form a drink, but you’d decline. Neither of them seemed to know about anything. Maybe Niffty cleaned the mess. Maybe Alastor asked her to. Before anyone could see the outcome of his mistakes.
You passed Vaggie in a hall, and she immediately looked concerned. She opened her mouth, an Are you okay? sits on the tip of her tongue. But then she looked at you. Your body only mirrored the fog of your mind, baggy eyed and wrapped in some blanket as you roamed the halls like a damned ghost.
“Hey, um- it's.. it's gonna be-" you held your hand up to her.
“I know. Thank you.” You smile, the action stiff, considering you hadn't used those muscles in awhile. Vaggie knew. That was fair, though. You were glad Charlie had someone to confide with. You walked on after she gave a hesitant goodbye wave.
One night, when your body had taken over and you were wandering aimlessly, you realized where you ended up. Not only were you standing in front of Lucifer's workshop, he had already spotted you through the window on the door. He opened it before you could fully take in your surroundings.
“Hey..” You let out softly. What else are you supposed to say? You didn’t come prepared. You feel embarrassed standing in front of him, realizing how much of a mess you must look. You're not even sure what part of your mind made you end up here.
He doesn't respond at first, another speechless moment letting your mind wander. He opens the door more, offering his space to you. You look at him and he smiles before you shuffle inside. You take in the sight. You haven't actually seen it, considering your circumstances after the hotel was renovated.
“It looks nice in here.” You say quietly, your voice cracking just a bit. You walk through, tracing your fingers along desks and tables, stopping and looking at family photos on occasion. You looked to Lucifer’s smiling face in a picture where he was lovingly holding his wife and daughter. How did you end up like this?
“Oh- um.. thank you, it's more than enough space for me, but, uh.. it's nice.” His voice sounds unfamiliar as it snaps you from your mindset. He moves to his main bench, which is slightly elevated by a platform that connects to the windowed wall. You eventually make your way around, standing near him.
“Are.. you… How are you..?” You listen to him struggle to form such a simple question, and yet you have an equally hard time trying to respond. Obviously, you were crushed. devastated by the betrayal and overwhelmed by everything else.
“I'm okay.” You reply thoughtlessly. It was your go-to answer. You hear a muffled chuckle and look over to him. He's blocking the laughter with his fist in front of his lips. Is he laughing at you?
“Sorry sorry, I just.. know that you're lying. You've done this before, don't forget how much time I've actually spent with you.” You want to scold him for acting so bold, for saying he knows you better than yourself, but..
You're leaning against the table in one moment, and before you know it, you're hoisted to sit on its top. You felt like a relief you didn't realize. Your feet were aching. How long were you walking the in the halls today? The sensation of his hands planted on your waist. to steadily bring you to the counter, lingered after he had removed them.
“I used to see you wandering around back home- at the mansion, I mean. usually after a tough day. But it's been a few days, so I just thought you might be-”
“Why are you so calm?” Your sudden question made him visibly finch. "You were tricked, too, you know. He tore us apart. How can you be handling this so well?” Your voice starts to turn agitated. You weren't sure why you were taking it out on himm, but you both knew in the moment that this was the first time you’ve let any emotion out since the fight.
“It's like some.. malevolent force is constantly tearing us apart. One moment I'm happy, I'm in love, I'm smiling- then the next, you're just gone. and everything else that keeps me sane goes with it.” You feel a flood of tears beginning to well. Tears that you should've been letting out days ago. “Is this some kind of fucking curse? Why can’t things just be easy..? A-Are we just doomed?” You're wiping your face clear, your words becoming sloppy and hoarse.
“Maybe.” Your head lifts to see him, still calm as before, but with a solemn look on his face. “But, we keep finding eachother, right? And all the good times.. they'll stay good, won’t they?” You nod your head reluctantly.
He approaches you, with a hand on your shoulder, he's wiping away tears with the other.
“Honestly? I'm not handling this well at all. You're right, the universe has done nothing but tear us apart and hurt both of us. And I’m just about ready to tear Alastor limb by limb. I want Charlie to be okay.. I want to keep you by my side and never let you out of my sight this time.” You see his emotions range throughout his words, his eyes flashing red for a moment. He calms himself down, running his hand down your arm to hold your hand. You don't resist.
“But, you made some good points back there. And I just thought.. if you're strong enough to let that prick live, after everything, then.. Maybe I-I.. I'm trying to be strong.” He sounds almost embarrassed to admit it, and the comment on your strength leaves you a bit red in the cheeks. “You've always been so strong, darling. I just wish you'd tell me how you're really feeling.. I miss talking to you. Not this.. empty shell.” His words stung and he knew it as soon as they slipped from his lips.
“W-wait, no, I mean..”
“It’s fine, you're not wrong.. Jerk.” You share a little laugh with him, the mood lightening for just a moment. “Lucifer, I'm.. I'm so tired.” You let out weakly. That barely scratches the surface of everything. It's as if your mind was boiling over, with all the thoughts of Alastor turning sour, and the thoughts of redemption suddenly in question, not to mention all those feelings of Lucifer that were repressed until just recently. You want Charlie to be okay. You want things to be normal, but.. you're not quite sure what normal looks like. You wish you could say all this to him.. it’s hard to put it to words. But you're trying. He makes you want to try harder.
You feel a gentle hand holding your cheek, bringing your blurred thoughts to clarity and meeting eyes that left you breathless. When was the last time you've looked in his eyes? A blush forms across his cheeks, your gaze seems to fluster him. He clears his throat, getting his mind back.
“You're not okay. But.. You will be. I promise.” With a wry smile, you let the weight of your head fall into his palm.
Your eyes meet. He leans in and you feel his arms snake around yout waist. Looking back, you're almost embarrassed by the way you leaned towards him, eyes shut, head tilted, your lips just slightly parted. You were startled by the feeling of his head resting on your shoulder. He only pulls you closer after he feels your breath start to deepen, his hands gentle across your back. You finally return his touch, digging your nose into the crook of his neck and gripping tightly at his shirt.
It used to feel like, if you let go, you'll never hold him again. God, how the possibility scares you. But.. it feels a little different this time. You weren’t worried about him disappearing, this time.
You’re so comforted by his presence, you let yourself fully relax to him. You open your eyes just slightly, blinking out some tears that still remained, thoroughly ruining his top. You pull away, meeting his eyes again.
You feel as if you were close to forgetting this side of him, but you recognize this face. You saw it the night you first kissed him. You saw it after seeing him at the hotel for the first time, then when he decided to sweep you off your feet for a little date. You saw it after every little date that followed. You realize he's never stopped looking at you this way.
“I love you, too.”
-
I had to put that worship the devil in there it just made me laugh so sorry if that seemed out of place lol
And not to fear my friends,
I plan on making a little epilogue about how everyone's recovering, and some sweet, yummy, fluffy goodness to top it off.
Again, Thank you all so much for your support! :)
I'll be working on some requests next, and some more vamp Luci! Kind of in love with that guy ngl
Taglist! (good lord I hope I got everybody )
( @vififofum / @thornwolfy235 / @tinywolfiegirl / @chipper-chip / @bat-boness
@misfitgirlwrites / @nayomi247 / @lonelynmisunderstood / @escapistoftherealworld / @b4ts1e / @hamthepan / @kyo-kyo1 / @looking1016 / @polytheatrix / @littledolly2345 / @lillianastuff / @yourlocalcryptidbee /@0strawberrysorbet0 / @themageofblood / @jayyyayaysblog / @floralsightings / @azmosposts / @8har0ley8 / @actuallyspiderwoman / @sirenetheblogger / @christineblood / @kaytemchugh / @cimadreamer / @simpdevil66 / @azmosposts / @m3ow1 / @acrazyartist / @redfoxwritesstuff / @4k1to / @meesachan / @corvusskid / @alientee /@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx / @alon3lylov3r /@sapphireravensworld / @mjmdragons / @catticora / @the-maladaptivedaydreamer / @carrie0-1 / @shamblezzz / @cassandras-nest / @wendigonamecaller / @chirimeimei / @sapphireravensworld / @sillywormtrixareforkids
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#lucifer morningstar#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fandom#lucifer hazbin#lucifer magne#hazbin hotel fan fiction#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin fanfiction#hazbin fanfic#hazbin hotel fanfic#hazbin hotel fic#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#lucifer x reader#lucifer x you
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Piltover and Zaun Lore Deep Dive
I've been doing extensive research into the history of P&Z for a Silco and Vander origin story fic, and I figured it could be helpful to share my findings here too!
My main goal was to try and integrate known Arcane lore with League lore and iron out some of the creases, to nail down exactly what the world of P&Z looked like in Arcane. I've done a lot of extrapolating and theorising to make sense of it all, but if you're just interested in the raw data from canon, I've compiled all my notes on a Google Doc. All sources are listed throughout.
The contents of this post are as follows:
Part 1: Chronology (the timeline)
Part 1.1: Chronology in League of Legends
Part 1.2: Chronology in Arcane
Part 1.3: Integrating the timelines
Part 2: Geography (the layout of P&Z)
Part 2.1: Existing maps of Piltover and Zaun
Part 2.2: Geography in League of Legends
Part 2.3: Geography in Arcane
Part 2.4: Integrating the layouts
Part 3: Modern Zaun (ft. Silco and Vander)
Part 3.0: Preamble
Part 3.1: The timeline of Zaun’s creation
Part 3.2: Vander and Silco’s early life
Part 3.3: Golden age of Vander and Silco
Part 3.4: After the betrayal
Part 4: Wrap-Up
Summary of the timeline
~~~
Part 1.1: Chronology (League of Legends)
Information derived from the LoL Fandom Wiki and official LoL website, with most details corroborated by various Reddit threads and similar forums. BN means Before Noxus, and AN means After Noxus.
6000-5000 BN: Westward Migration. Humans began to migrate from the eastern hemisphere to the western hemisphere, towards the Shuriman Continent. Settlers founded many new nations and cities. Among these was a sea port called Oshra Va’Zaun (also referred to in some places as Osha Va’Zaun or Kha’Zhun, but I went with what was most consistently used on the Wiki). Oshra Va’Zaun connected the Shuriman Continent to Valoran via an isthmus, or artificial land bridge, that allowed for free trade between the continents and also comprised docks from which sailors could travel in and out. The people of Oshra Va’Zaun worshipped Janna (then known as Jan’ahrem), the wind spirit. As a spirit god, she relies on prayers to keep her strong. Sailors and merchants would pray for calm seas, and she would deliver.
2000-3 BN: Various Wars. The fall of the Shuriman Empire (2000 BN), the Darkin War (550 BN) and the Rune Wars (25-3 BN) all took place during this time. Janna protected Oshra Va’Zaun from every conflict, preventing it from becoming rubble.
772 AN: The Collapse. The people of Oshra Va’Zaun planned to destroy a portion of the isthmus connecting Valoran and the Southern Continent, allowing for safe sea passage between eastern and western Valoran. The plan was to use thousands of Chemtech bombs to crack open an area of the land so that a cavern could be created. Instead, the bombs triggered a series of earthquakes that completely destroyed the isthmus and sank large districts of Zaun. Thousands of citizens were killed, and poisonous gases leaked into the city’s surviving areas. Allegedly, Janna saved many of the citizens by holding back the seas to prevent floods.
790 AN: Piltover is Established. Over the last 18 years, the ruins of Oshra Va’Zaun underwent extensive reconstruction. The Sun Gates were established to regulate travel through the oceanic passage that had opened up where the isthmus used to be. This essentially forced all ocean transport through these waters, which brought wealth to the city and spurred the development of Piltover - named after its construction over the Pilt River. Merchant clans dominated the trade route and built up towards the sky, while those still living in the ruins built down into the fissures.
~~~
Part 1.2: Chronology (Arcane)
The only traces I could find of a timeline were on the League of Legends Universe Wiki, where birth years are given for several of the main characters. Most were given a range, as follows:
676 AN: Heimerdinger is born
959-963 AN: Jayce is born
961-968 AN: Viktor is born
966-970 AN: Caitlyn is born
967-971 AN: Vi is born
972-976 AN: Jinx is born
In Season 1 Act 1, Heimerdinger specifically states that he is 307, and Jayce states that he is 24. The writers also stated that 7 years had passed between Acts 1 and 2. This gives us a good base to work from, especially since Heimerdinger's birth year is the only one that is dated precisely. 676 + 307 = 983; thus, Act 1 takes place in 983 AN, and Act 2 onwards takes place in 990 AN. Working backwards, we can determine that Jayce was born in 959 AN, and everything works itself out from there.
676 AN: Heimerdinger is born. He is 307 (Act 1) / 314 (Act 2 and beyond).
959 AN: Jayce is born. He is 24 / 31.
961 AN: Viktor is born. He is 22 / 29.
966 AN: Caitlyn is born. She is 17 / 24 (honestly 17 seems too old to me based on what we see of her in Act 1, but 966 is the earliest year listed on her wiki page, so this is what I’m running with).
967 AN: Vi is born. She is 16 / 23.
972 AN: Jinx is born. She is 11 / 18.
983 AN: Events of Act 1. Key events here are the raid on the Kiramman warehouse and the subsequent invention of Hextech.
990 AN: Events of Act 2. At the start of Act 2, Heimerdinger says that Piltover is turning 200, so this works out perfectly with the League of Legends timeline.
~~~
Part 1.3: Chronology (Integrated)
So, how exactly do Arcane and League lore fit together? The answer essentially boils down to: there isn't one. Everyone in every thread has a different solution, and the timeline is so messy that there is even a dedicated Wiki page to all the various contradictions. I'm going to spend this final section developing my own theories and solutions based on what I know; feel free to take or leave any of this.
Pre-772 AN: From everything I’ve read, it seems like there are hardly any indications of Zaun and Piltover’s history before the events of the main timeline. There is no mention of Janna at all in Arcane, but subtle imagery of her is sprinkled throughout the art, which suggests that she could still be a figure present in the history and protection of Zaun. Thus, I think we can reasonably assume that everything was much the same up to the collapse. There don't seem to be any lore inconsistencies prior to 772 AN that would make the timeline impossible (other than Heimerdinger having supposedly lived through the Rune Wars, but Yordle lore is a whole different ball game that I'm not even going to touch lmao).
Post-772 AN: From the collapse onwards, there are two main issues I ran into in getting the lore to match up. One of these issues is the absence of the Sun Gates in Arcane. Instead, the Hexgates play the role of facilitating trade, which is treated like a new and revolutionary invention. This raises questions regarding how exactly Piltover came to prosper for ~2 centuries before Hextech. It’s possible that the Sun Gates did exist at a point in time, but were destroyed for one reason or another before we get to the main timeline. Otherwise, it could just be that they flourished through maritime trade for a while without the Sun Gates, given that they are still positioned at the intersection between continents (the Hexgates facilitate air travel, not sea travel, so that would have still been a pivotal change). The council is made up of wealthy merchant clans, which suggests that Piltover was still a place of high traffic for traders. We also know that Piltover and Zaun are realms of innovation, and with Heimerdinger at the forefront of Piltover’s establishment, it seems viable that they had a lot to offer that made Piltover attractive to other regions. This also raises the question of what exactly Piltover was inventing before Hextech, but I'm going to shelve that question, as it integrates slightly better with the next section.
The other issue that came up is with regards to Chemtech. In League lore, Chemtech is consistently listed as “Zaun’s answer to Hextech”. The Wiki also mentions that it has existed in Zaun “since the early 900s AN”, but wasn’t widely used until “the later half of the 900s AN”. There are two issues with this. Firstly, the lore specifically mentions that Chemtech bombs were used to explode the land in 772 AN, which means that it did exist before the 900s. The second issue is that Hextech was not invented until 983 AN, which contradicts the notion that Chemtech was “Zaun’s answer” to it. We see green lights all over the Lanes in Arcane Episode 1, so it was definitely in use before Hextech existed. So the questions that arise are 1) What was the timeline of Chemtech usage in Zaun?, 2) Why wasn’t it ever used in Piltover?, and 3) Why was Piltover the city that prospered through trade and innovation, if Zaun was the one who had Chemtech?
I think the most sensible answer to question 2 is simply that it's toxic. People in Piltover are terrified of change, judging by the council’s reaction to magic the first time Jayce brings it up. If a Chemtech bomb was what caused the destruction of Oshra Va’Zaun in the first place, it makes sense that Piltover would have avoided using it. This could also help with the answer to question 1. If we believe that Chemtech wasn't widely used in Zaun until the 900s, it could just be that they were afraid to touch it again for a very long time after the collapse. That just leaves question 3, and I think to answer this, we need to return to that earlier question of what exactly Piltover invented/traded that cemented their position of affluence. The official League webpage for Piltover talks extensively about Hextech, and also includes images of Piltover's inventions under the umbrella of "Hextech". However, there are three images in that category that stand out to me as different:
In the bottom series of pictures, three of the images are in black and white, and look more like sketches than the fully-rendered designs of the other inventions. The first of these images is just a string of merchant clan sigils, which don't give us all that much information. What I'm most interested in are the second image, which is a dome-shaped streetlight:
And the third image, which is a "Pneuma-Tube Conduit":
The black-and-white design of these makes them look older, as opposed to the modern designs of objects like the gauntlets, which we know are newer. That indicates that these inventions existed before Hextech. The light source looks like it has a wire running through it and a switch of sorts, which suggests that they had some form of electricity. Another possibility is that it functions using solar power, given that the Zaunites, despite being inventors in their own rights, seem to rely mostly on Chemtech for light and haven't been able to built light sources that can pierce darkness/the Grey. It would make sense if they simply don't get the sunlight down there to operate them properly.
The pneuma tube is the most notable to me, given that it seems to match the tube Grayson gives Vander in Episode 1 as a method of contacting her ("this will reach me, and only me") - again, before Hextech existed. What's interesting about that tube is that, when I went back to the scene where Vi decides to turn herself in, the tube arrives with a puff of gas and a small lime-coloured light that turns on. There's also a green-tinted lamp in the police station where they appear to be located. It looks very Chemtech-like, which I'm intrigued by; it makes me wonder if Piltover actually does use Chemtech to some extent, but in much smaller doses with extensive safety measures to keep the gases from escaping.
I also found a Weebly website, which looks very unofficial (i.e. I cannot verify any of the information on there) but has a ton of lore for various regions, including the only mention I could find of a Piltovian energy source that wasn't Hextech. The site mentions that Piltover uses liquids and gases from a nearby marsh to power the city. This seems like a viable option to me, especially given the detail of the gases coming off the tube, and the images of factories with smoke coming from the underground. So I guess, rather than being Zaun's "answer" to Hextech, Chemtech is more like the toxic and volatile version of the various controlled gases and liquids that Piltover uses as an energy source.
On the topic of other things Piltover invented, here are some additional notes from my research:
Weaponry - There are guns everywhere in Piltover, particularly for the Enforcers. Presumably one of the wealthy clans had to manufacture these.
Tools - We know that the Talis family gained wealth and notoriety for their invention of various tools, including mostly hammers and the "collapsible pocket wrench".
Lock System - Amanda Overton stated that the Kirammans became wealthy for building "the very important lock system in the channel that first allowed trade between regions". I suppose this must have been instead of the Sun Gates, if we're assuming they don't exist?
Other Systems - The Kirammans also appeared to be the ones who built the underground ventilation system for Zaun. The tube conduit is also an example of a miscellaneous system invented by someone in Piltover, as well as presumably whatever wiring system allows the streetlights to function.
Machinery/Machine Parts - It's mentioned in League lore that the Medarda clan became wealthy for their invention of the piston, which is part of an engine. It's unclear whether this is still the case in Arcane, though.
Prosthetics - In the story The Lady of Clockwork, it's said that Corin Reveck was renowned for his design of prosthetics. Arcane canon calls him a "revered academy alchemist", so it seems like his creations there had more to do with chemistry and magic, but prosthetics could have been the specialty of someone else in Piltover.
Clockwork - I've also seen Corin Reveck described as a clockwork inventor, so revolutionary clocks and time-based inventions could have also come out of Piltover.
Cameras - Caitlyn has a camera in Act 1 when she's investigating the crime scene after the Firelights raided Silco's shipment. The flash has a blue tint, so this could have been a Hextech invention, but I was interested to see that it had a green pipe running along the side; perhaps it was a Zaunite camera that she asked Jayce to modify for her.
Food/Drink - In S1E4, it's mentioned that Councillor Hoskel ships wine to Noxus. Perhaps some clans in Piltover accumulated wealth from unique food/drink products that other regions could not cultivate.
Various Gadgets - Mel's very first scene shows her choosing a gift for Hoskel from an assortment of mechanical gadgets. These could have been a smaller byproduct of Piltover's invention boom. This category also covers the items in Jayce's lab, many of which seem to be assorted gadgets like the nose hair trimmer, the spinning mobile on the ceiling and the "real Valdiani".
So, to recap, here's a summary of the integrated timeline for P&Z in Arcane:
Pre-772 AN: Westward migration led to the establishment of the sea port of Oshra Va'Zaun. Wars ravaged the Shuriman Continent, but Oshra Va'Zaun was protected through all of it, until their own innovation caused the collapse of the isthmus via Chemtech bomb.
Post-772 AN: Piltover was gradually built over the ruins, and formally established in 790 AN. Meanwhile, those still living underground were forced into labour, working in the mines and factories to provide for Piltover's inventions. Piltover became richer and richer as trade increased, while the people of Zaun had nothing themselves.
959-972 AN: Births of the leading cast members. Jayce is the oldest, and Jinx is the youngest.
983 AN: Events of Act 1. Vi, Powder, Mylo and Claggor raid the Kiramman warehouse. Hextech is invented. Vander turns himself in for the raid, Silco intercepts the arrest, and Vander, Mylo and Claggor end up dead.
990 AN: Events of Act 2. The main Arcane timeline starts here.
~~~
Part 2.1: Geography (Maps)
Figure 1: Piltover and Zaun in the wider landscape of Runeterra (source)
Figure 2: Piltover trade routes per the Medarda Heirloom (source)
Figure 3: Piltover and Zaun map in Arcane (source)
Figure 4: Map of Piltover and Zaun from Jinx Fixes Everything (source)
Figure 5: Map of Piltover and Zaun from World Anvil (source)*
*I'm not sure of the exact source for this map; the page I found this from is a fanmade D&D campaign but the creator has a disclaimer that they sourced the artwork externally and do not own it.
Figures 6 and 7: Maps of P&Z from Arcane and the Medarda Heirloom respectively. The Arcane map has been rotated to align the structure of the land masses in the Medarda Heirloom.
~~~
Part 2.2: Geography (League of Legends)
In League, Zaun is built quite literally underneath Piltover; there are some absolutely beautiful official artworks depicting this. In the League version of Zaun, there are three levels, as per the Wiki page:
Promenade Level: The top level of Zaun. Described as an "entertainment and commercial zone", this is where Zaun's wealthy reside, and where the line between Piltover and Zaun blurs. Some of its features include a thriving marketplace on the boundary (several regions are named specifically; the Boundary Markets and the Skylight Commercia), a pump station to move clean air from Piltover into Zaun, and the College of Techmaturgy.
Entresol Level: The level just below Promenade, this is considered the main hub of activity for Zaunites. It's one of the most populated districts between the two cities, and is also where the Zaun Grey lingers most. Some of its features include augmentation parlours for prosthetics and other bodily augmentations, a breather station where Zaunites can find reprieve from the Grey, the Chemtech Seam in the cliffs where compounds for Chemtech are sourced, markets and greenhouses, and laboratories for science and invention.
Sump Level: Zaun's deepest level where the light doesn't reach. It's chaotic and grim, with disorderly piping everywhere and discarded waste from Piltover. This is the origin of the Grey, from polluted waterways and grilles. Some of its features include a pump station for removing sewage, a prison mine where convicts are forced to mine Chemtech compounds, factories and warehouses, a surviving clock tower from Oshra Va'Zaun, densely-populated slums, the Black Lanes where merchants and thieves do business, sewers, an orphanage and an asylum.
Other Features: There's a large cliff in Zaun that makes up part of the Promenade Level, and is home to shipping docks and the Sun Gates. There are also Hexdraulic Conveyors in various locations throughout Zaun, which allow Piltovans to descend into Zaun - some available to the public, and some for private use, especially for the Chem-Barons and wealthy Piltovans.
As for Piltover, per the Wiki page, there are only two main regions - North Piltover and South Piltover:
North Piltover: Most of the clans have their mansions and "heavily guarded workshop compounds" here, in a region called Bluewind Court. The north also contains a menagerie, theatres and workshops, a promenade of cafes and bistros, and a region dedicated to banks and secure vaults for the wealthy.
South Piltover: Not much is mentioned of South Piltover, but it seems like it involves several shopping districts, more workshops and lavish residences, and the fissures where Zaun is located.
I recognised a lot of the location names on the Wiki from the map in Figure 5, so presumably the north just means everything north of the canal and the south is the region on the other side; then Zaun exists directly underneath southern Piltover, carved out of the land underneath the fissures.
~~~
Part 2.3: Geography (Arcane)
The geography in Arcane was a little confusing to make sense of. These are the changes noted on the Wiki:
The Sun Gates do not exist
The fissures are narrower
Zaun does not have three levels, instead being divided into the Lanes which each represent one of the fissures
The tallest tower in Zaun is now the Chem-Baron tower, which replaces the College of Techmaturgy
There are no Hexdraulic Descenders, instead replaced by smaller elevators
The Lanes in Zaun are home to Babette's brothel and The Last Drop
The Firelight Hideout is built in a large, abandoned sewer
The north and south parts of Piltover are connected by The Bridge of Progress
In mid-Piltover is the University of Piltover, located near the Hexgates, where most council meetings take place
Stillwater Hold is located on an island just outside the eastern part of the city
I've read a lot of other forum threads, and it seems like there's no real consensus on where exactly Zaun is located in relation to Piltover. Some people say it's still directly underneath southern Piltover, while others think the entire region across the bridge (see Figure 3) is now entirely Zaun. I get the impression that a lot of the confusion comes from Arcane visuals that make it look like Zaun is just everything on the other side of the bridge. Vander also describes the Undercity as "our side", making it seem like Zaun is that entire side of the region rather than just a part of it built underground.
Personally, I'm inclined to think Zaun is still predominantly underneath Piltover, judging by the maps in Figures 3 & 4 from Arcane canon. It seems like the Alcove District, Low Piltover and South Side Harbour are still part of south Piltover, while everything around the Fissures are part of Zaun. The scene in Season 1 Episode 1 where Vi and the kids are running away from the Enforcers also seems to support this. They run through a corridor, then slide down a sewer grate, into the underground where we can see all of Piltover's metal scraps and parts discarded as per the lore. I presumed, from this, that the first place they entered across the bridge was still part of Piltover, and then they went down the pipe to get to Zaun. Deckard confronts them before they take the elevator even further down, and we know that this confrontation happened on their "side", per Vi's conversation with Vander, so this was likely an upper part of Zaun.
Additionally, we see this wide shot as they run across the bridge:
Figure 8: Wide shot of the Bridge of Progress from Season 1 Episode 1, timestamp 13:01
Figure 8 shows Zaun/South Piltover on the left side of the bridge, and North Piltover on the right side. The architecture immediately across the bridge still looks very Piltovian, while towards the back of the image, we can see large green towers and smoke, more akin to Zaunite infrastructure. This makes me think there's still something like the Promenade level at the same altitude as south Piltover, where the lines between cities are blurred, but most of the activity takes place underneath. The maps from Arcane are also specifically labelled "Piltover", which further supports the idea that the entire region is Piltover, with most of Zaun lying underneath.
~~~
Part 2.4: Geography (Integrated)
I don't think Zaun was just made up of the Lanes, as the Wiki page seems to imply. There's a line from Silco in S1E3 in which he says "not just for the Lanes, but the whole of the underground united as one". It seems like the Lanes were the region Silco and Vander had control over ("you had my respect, the Lanes' respect" - Vander, S1E3), but there were other parts to the underground too.
There's a really useful Twitter post here that proposes one theory as to how Arcane and League geography can be integrated. As previously mentioned, I like the idea that the levels still exist to some extent. The Promenade level bleeds into South Piltover, and looks to be where many of the factories and warehouses are located judging by the smoke - as well as, of course, the Chem-Baron tower where Silco gasses them all in S1E7. This is also where the fight with Deckard happened. Every theory I've seen that incorporates the levels places The Last Drop on Entresol, so I'm inclined to say that's where the Lanes are located, with The Last Drop a central feature, and quite close to the Sump. And the Sump is where the mines are, all the way down in the lowest inhabitable (using that term very loosely) part of Zaun. There are also ruins of Oshra Va'Zaun underneath this where it's completely deserted.
~~~
Part 3.0: The Creation of Modern Zaun (Preamble)
So all of this brings me back to the question at the heart of it all: where do Silco and Vander fit in? There are three big questions I am aiming to answer in this section.
Question 1: What is the timeline of Silco and Vander's past?
Question 2: What did Zaun look like before Silco and Vander took control of it?
Question 3: What was their vision for Zaun and how far did they get with it?
Before I can get into answering those questions, I want to compile everything that we already know about Silco and Vander. From Arcane canon, here is what we're given:
Vander and Silco started as miners who "had nothing" (Silco's words, S1E9), and had a shared vision for what Zaun could have been. Silco talks very distastefully about his experience in the mines, describing "air so thick it clogged your throat, stuck in your eyes".
They are said to have "built the underground", according to Sevika (or, at the very least, she says that Vander built the underground).
Zaun was governed by Piltover and their council; Silco and Vander wanted Zaun to become an independent nation in its own right.
Silco’s description in S1E3: “We shared a vision, Vander. A dream of freedom. Not just for the Lanes, but the whole of the underground united as one. The Nation of Zaun.” In S1E9, he also says "everything we ever wanted" when he's talking to the Vander statue about Jayce's offer of peace, so all signs point to them having both been set on independence for Zaun.
Sevika says that "Silco spent his whole life trying to rally the Undercity together" in S2E4.
At some point, Felicia joined their fight, and the three of them were seen at The Last Drop together around the time of its founding. Sevika and Connol also knew them in their youth. I don't believe it's ever explicitly stated whether Benzo knew them back then, but Vander mentions him by name to Silco, which suggests a mutual connection.
Felicia speaks about the vision for Zaun as theirs, not hers, so it seems like her role was not quite as prominent as theirs in the actual conception and construction of Zaun.
Felicia encourages Silco and Vander to "figure this Zaun thing out", even if they have to "carve it out of the bedrock, covered in blisters". Much like Sevika using the word "built", this seems to imply a very literal kind of construction.
When Vi, Powder and co raid the Kirammans' warehouse, Vi mentions that it's exactly the kind of job Vander would've done when he was their age. We know that Vi was 16 at the time, and Mylo and Claggor were also both older than Powder, so presumably she means 15-16.
In S1E2, Vander tells Vi that when he was younger, he "was angry" about the treatment of Zaun by Piltover, and led the bridge riot that killed Felicia and Connol.
Using this post and the Arcane artbook as a guide, I also pulled information out of comments from the creators, which I'm regarding as canon-adjacent:
The Lanes is the black market area of the Undercity, created through Vander and Silco's smuggling operation that gave them the chance to make money outside of working as miners for topsiders.
Silco "grew up working in the mines", which is where Vander, Silco and Felicia met. It's also mentioned that this is why he was the only one who could tolerate the gas in S1E7, but he specifically says that the Chem-Barons used to work in the mines as well (“The mines they had us in” / “I pulled you all up from the depths”), so that seems inconsistent. I'm inclined to believe that it's a combination of him growing up in the mines and continuing to live on the Entresol level (in The Last Drop), while the others lived on the Promenade level.
Silco and Vander led a movement towards independence. Both were unhappy with the "oppressive feeling" of being "under the thumb of Piltover".
In the artbook, it's said that Silco hated the way he was treated by Piltover and wanted to prove that he was more than what the world had made him out to be. He and Vander "tried to build this world together", with the main goal of independence and pride for Zaun. Ultimately, there were limits to what Vander was willing to lose, while Silco always wanted to keep fighting no matter the cost.
There's an image of young Benzo with Silco, Vander and Felicia in the artbook, confirming the implication that he knew them at that time.
The bridge riot was incited after Benzo got arrested, and Silco was the one really pushing for the uprising; hence he was the one who threw the first Molotov cocktail. This was when Vander decided that violence was not the way to achieve peace.
Amanda Overton frequently refers to that riot as the "Day of Ash". I could only find one source on this, a Fandom Wiki page with no additional references cited. According to this page, the Day of Ash took place on December 1st 979 AN, and involved a protest march on the Bridge of Progress in which over 100 unarmed Zaunites were shot and 84 died on the spot. This seems inconsistent with what we see in canon (the "unarmed" part specifically; Silco throwing the Molotov, Vander beating up Enforcers with his mining gloves), but I'm listing it here anyway for full disclosure.
The drowning incident happened after the riot, apparently after Vander had already taken the kids (so I guess he came back for Silco??? Or it happened a few days after?).
Something else worth noting is that in the Season 2 flashback, Felicia says that "tonight", their dream of turning the underground into a community became a reality. This obviously marks a very significant date for them, and they toast to the occasion. My assumption was that this was meant to show us the opening of The Last Drop, and that's what I ran with for much of my analysis throughout this section; however, I don't think it's ever actually specified which milestone they're celebrating, so this detail is ultimately up to interpretation.
~~~
Part 3.1: The Creation of Modern Zaun (Timeline)
All of the wiki pages I've looked at place Silco at 37-39 in Act 1, and 43-46 in Act 2; and for Vander, 43 in Act 1 and 50 in Act 2 (in the AU/as Warwick). As far as birth years go, this would translate to 944-946 AN for Silco, and 940 AN for Vander.
At the time of The Last Drop's opening, Felicia is pregnant with Vi. That would place this scene in either 966 or 967 AN. I struggled to find an official reference for Arcane character birthdays, but Vi's birthday is very consistently celebrated on December 19th across the fandom, which puts us in early 967. That makes Silco and Vander 21-23 and 27 respectively. Based on what we see of Silco in that scene, I'm inclined to place him at the upper end of that range, or even a year or two older. So more like 39-41 in Act 1 and 46-48 in Act 2.
The Day of Ash is an interesting conundrum. 979 AN, as per the wiki article I found, would make Vi and Powder 12 and 7 respectively. I'm not sure how reliable the source is, and my personal estimate would have been 977-978 AN, factoring in the kids' ages and the time it would take for Silco to rebuild his life from scratch.
Combining all of this information, we get the following timeline:
940 AN: Vander is born
942-944 AN: Silco is born
966-967 AN: The Last Drop is opened
977-979 AN: The Day of Ash
For the next few sections, I'd like to have precise years to focus on, so I'm going to run with these dates:
940 AN: Vander is born. He is 43 / 50.
943 AN: Silco is born. He is 40 / 47.
967 AN: The Last Drop is opened. This marks the birth of modern Zaun.
978 AN: The Day of Ash. Silco is betrayed, and Vander swears off violence.
~~~
Part 3.2: The Creation of Modern Zaun (Early Life of S&V)
Content warning for discussions of slavery/slave labour in this section; I'll mark the paragraph that includes this with ~!!~ at the start just in case anyone wants to skip it.
It's pretty solid canon that Vander and Silco started as miners, and built up their world of Zaun from there. The mining tunnels run all along the fissures, as per this map from the Jinx Fixes Everything minigame:
Figure 9: Map of mining tunnels from Jinx Fixes Everything
I get the impression, based on the prevalence of the tunnels & Silco's dialogue to the Chem-Barons ("We had nothing" / "Have you forgotten where we came from? The mines they had us in?") that the underground, at the time, was mostly just mines.
~!!~ I'm particularly interested in how this fits in with the original League geography of the Sump, given that's where the mines are located. In League, the Sump included a prison mine for "Chemtech compounds", factories, warehouses, and slums where the workers lived. There's one particular factory mentioned which involved "slave labour camps" and "tightly controlled torture chambers". This is a very dark but plausible look into one possibility for the Undercity's past. Since Silco and Vander were said to have grown up in the mines, I assume it's most likely that they were the children of prisoners, rather than prisoners themselves - although it isn't outside the realm of possibility, since Powder's visibly young age did not stop the Enforcers from going after her at the beginning of the show. Alternatively (if we want to assume the slave labour aspect did not exist/was very far in the past) we could just assume Vander and Silco were children of people who worked in the mines, and were essentially born into it.
Regardless, I don't think they had many other options outside of mining, so we can assume that this was much the same for most people living in the Undercity. Something I'm curious about is, with the interpretation that there was still some semblance of a level system in modern Zaun, when and how Entresol and Promenade came about.
My personal assumption for Promenade is that the level existed as a sort of gateway between south Piltover and the underground. The elevator from S1E1 is on this level, and it looks to be in an abandoned house, judging by the stairs, furniture and paintings on the walls. The decor is quite fancy and the people in the paintings are dressed similarly to the Kirammans in their family portraits, which makes me think this was the repurposed home of a wealthy topsider. One possibility is that Promenade held the residences of Piltovan elites who worked close to Zaun (e.g. owned factories, oversaw mining operations). I think it's unlikely that Promenade had anything to do with Silco and Vander's operations, since it's much closer to the surface than where they reside, but their revolution could have been the force that drove many of the topsiders out.
Entresol is where the Lanes and The Last Drop are located, so I'm inclined to assume this was the part that Silco and Vander built. This is also corroborated by the various references to the Lanes in S1E3, which I elaborated on in Part 2.4, that makes it sound like this was the part that they had the most involvement with. This was where both of them ended up living, and Vander says that Silco "had the Lanes' respect", suggesting that this was where they started out, too.
The way Sevika and Felicia both talk about Silco and Vander's work makes it sound like they built the Lanes in a very literal sense. This leaves us with two main questions; 1) What was there before?, and 2) How much of it was built by them?. Unfortunately for us, I don't think there's actually enough in canon to answer either of those questions with any real certainty. The best I can do is suggest possibilities. We do know that there were other parts to the underground outside of the Lanes, so one possibility is that there was already a community inhabiting Entresol that they took over as their own - perhaps a small rebel group, or colonies of Zaunite labourers who lived on that level. These are all the other options I came up with:
There were semi-intact ruins still lying around Entresol that they built out of.
There was a large, empty space in the place that would later become the Lanes. They built on top of this and filled out the entire region.
They literally built the Entresol level themselves. The mining tunnels had been dug out of nothing, and all that was lying on top of them was rock; they quite literally "carve[d] it out of the bedrock", as Felicia's phrasing would imply.
So in summary, I'm imagining that the Sump was the main region of the Undercity at the time, comprising a network of mines where the Grey originated, sewers for wastage from up above, and potentially factories or warehouses as well. Another question is what exactly was being mined here, and again, we can turn to League lore for possible ideas. The prison mines mentioned on the Zaun wiki page were for "Chemtech compounds". Amanda Overton described Silco and Vander as "miners working for topsiders", which makes me wonder - if they were mining for Chemtech compounds - what exactly the topsiders in question wanted to do with those compounds. This brings me back to my long-winded Chemtech musings from Part 1.3. I can think of three primary explanations for this:
The compounds in question could be used for a variety of inventions, not just Chemtech. Perhaps there were elements involved that had to be chemically separated; one of which was safer and used to power Piltover's inventions, while the other was highly toxic and was originally discarded as waste, but later became the basis for Chemtech.
Chemtech was mined and used in smaller doses/quantities in Piltovian inventions, while the people of the Undercity began to use it in larger quantities, harnessing the toxic properties that released the Grey as a byproduct.
Chemtech compounds were one of many things mined, and were used for inventions that were limited to the underground, like mechanical mining and factory tools (drills, bombs, transport, etc.)
Alternatively, if we ignore the mention of Chemtech, we could assume that the underground was rich in natural minerals and resources that Piltovans needed for their inventions. We could also assume they were mining for the other gases and/or liquids that Piltovans used as an energy source (it's mentioned that these came from a "nearby marsh", but I couldn't find an actual canon source for that, so I think it's fine to take some liberties with it). I suspect that there are many other possible explanations, with the foundational principle being that they were mining for materials which the topsiders would then use to boost their own wealth, one way or another.
~~~
Part 3.3: The Creation of Modern Zaun (Golden Age of S&V)
In S1E5, we see an old hideout of Silco and Vander's, with plans for the Nation of Zaun strewn all over the desk and plastered on the walls. I've compiled a list of everything we see in that hideout and where it's all located:
CEILING/TOP
Pipework
Low wooden beams
Lantern box hanging from the ceiling
LEFT OF THE ENTRANCE
Boxes/crates
Barrels
Mining gloves
Shovel
Something coiled and hanging on the left wall - perhaps a rope? Or a hose?
RIGHT OF THE ENTRANCE
Small wooden table
Vanity next to the coat rack
Another shovel
Time-worn plans covering the right wall (maps, tables, lots of illegible writing)
BACK OF THE ROOM
Left corner, storage unit/bookshelf (books, boxes, small lopsided paper bag, cylindrical flask or thick drink bottle?)
Left of centre, jackets and hats
Centre, flag with green, red and gold detailing, NoZ logo in gold
Right corner, coat rack and a ledge with hangers and a kettle
CENTRE OF THE ROOM
Desk (more books, flask, glass, tobacco pipe, letter)
Another crate
Knocked-over stool
Tall chair (for the vanity?)
TRIVIA
Walls are all boarded up with wooden planks and metal reinforcements
Vander’s number: 135 714 (from the canon scene)
Silco’s number: 132 219 (loosely interpreted from the very grainy image in the artbook)
I think it's safe to say that they started devising their vision of Zaun in the mines, with comprehensive plans for the nation that include maps and diagrams, a flag with a logo, and many long pages of writing. I'm guessing they were living here for a while, judging by the flask, the kettle, the paper bag that looks like the kind used to carry food, and the clothes hung up on the wall. The furniture is an interesting detail; I'm struggling to imagine that they got away with dragging all of that furniture down to the mines, which makes me wonder if it was there before. Perhaps it used to be someone's office down there? Or some kind of bunker/storm shelter? I have no clear answer for this so I guess it's entirely up to the imagination.
Then at some point, they got out of the mines and began a smuggling operation to make money. I assume this is the era Vi was talking about when she said the break-in was "the kind of job Vander would've pulled when he was [their] age". I'm not sure exactly how reliable this statement is, or whether it even really tells us anything; Vander could've snuck away from the mines to steal from topside when he was a teenager, before he had even developed the goal of an independent nation, or Vi could've heard rumours about Vander's past that weren't entirely accurate. Still, it's the best we have to go on, and if we assume this references Vander and Silco's smuggling operation, it would imply that they started relatively young. In my opinion, 16-year-old Vi saying "our age" could imply anywhere from about 15-18 realistically, and that gives us a maximum of about a decade between the start of their smuggling ventures and The Last Drop opening. We also have to factor in Silco being 2-3 years younger, which means I'm more inclined to assume Vander was an older teen, if not already in his 20s (unless we're meant to assume they were just extremely young when they started all this, but I think that's unlikely, given they already look like adults while still working in the mines). For the sake of the timeline, we'll say they started their smuggling operation somewhere between the late 950s and early 960s AN.
We also don't know for sure when the Lanes were actually built; whether they started with The Last Drop and built everything around it, or built the Lanes and opened The Last Drop as a finishing touch of sorts. Felicia's lines in the flashback - "You two are going to figure this Zaun thing out. I don't care if you have to carve it out of the bedrock covered in blisters." - definitely make it sound like The Last Drop was built first, and everything else followed. Amanda Overton also specified that the smuggling operation helped Vander and Silco make money, so it seems like they were selling their stolen goods (to topsiders?) and running a back-alley black market operation until they had enough to actually start building.
There were about 10-11 years between the opening of The Last Drop and the estrangement of Silco from his allies, which they spent building the Lanes. I was initially thinking this sounded insane, but from this Reddit thread, I gathered that it's actually a fairly reasonable timeline - especially if we assume that they had others helping them with the physical construction, which I'm certain they would've. One of the commenters in the thread brought up the city of Brasilia, which was a planned city built over the span of about 3.5 years. It has a total federal district area of 5,802km^2 built by about 60,000 people (not sure exactly how much of that area was actually built up; the Demographia World Urban Areas Report 2023 counts a total urban area of 963km^2, similar to the size of Buffalo NY).
There's another post I found by a Redditor who calculated the area and population of Piltover and Zaun using the height of streetlamps as a reference. These totals came out to 5.30km^2 (~100,000 population) and 4.12km^2 (~400,000 population) for Zaun. This was calculated under the assumption that Zaun and Piltover each covered one region on either side of the bridge, so the sizes might differ under the model with Zaun being mostly underneath. However, in this case, the Entresol level alone would be even smaller than 4.12km^2, so the task sounds overall very manageable. Worth noting that I think it's unlikely that Zaun was a precisely planned city like Brasilia was, and more likely that they built up the city around themselves, in response to the growing population and demands for facilities. Although we do see very thorough-looking diagrams on the walls of Vander and Silco's hideout, so I suppose you could reasonably assume any degree of planning.
In canon, we do see some glimpses into the post-Last Drop era through the sequence of Warwick/Vander's memories in S1E6. Here are all the memories we see, in order:
Vander and Silco in the mines
Silco sitting at a bar with a book open in his hands
The flashback from S2E5 with Felicia, Silco and Vander toasting in the bar
Young Vander and Benzo leaning over a counter; both look to be around the same age as they were in Act 1, maybe slightly younger
Felicia pregnant with Powder, and a man (presumably Connol) holding child Vi
Powder, Vi, Mylo and Claggor all standing in a group with their backs turned
Vi sparring with Vander, starting around the age she was in Act 1 and then morphing into her younger child self
Felicia and Connol come home with their mining hats and gloves, and Vi and Powder get excited to see them
Vi tries on the mining glove Felicia gives her
Felicia and Powder cook together
Felicia cuts Vi's hair
Felicia, Powder and Vi chase each other around a post
Felicia measures Vi's height
These being Vander's memories, it seems like the kids had a much more resonant impact on him at the time than Silco or the fight for independence did. This explains a lot with regards to the difference in ideologies that eventually divided Vander and Silco. We also see that Felicia and Connol were still working in the mines when the kids were young, implying that Silco and Vander did not shut down mining operations (perhaps they cleaned it up so the work was less dangerous?). The logo for the Nation of Zaun that we see on the flag & on Silco's notebook doesn't come up ever again, and seems to be absent from the modern timeline.
I'm guessing the focus during this period was on the physical construction of the Lanes, and accumulating more and more capital to distribute among the people of the underground. It definitely seems like they were intending to go to war for their independence, judging by Vander's assumption in S1E3 that Silco wanted to use Shimmer to start a war - as well as Vander telling Vi that he "was angry" when he was younger and wanted to fight for change (S1E2). The flag/logo in their hideout was presumably something they planned to fly once they had achieved an independent Nation of Zaun.
They never did end up engaging in a full-on war though, based on various context clues and dialogue exchanges implying that a) Vander and Silco's revolution was never successful, and b) war between Piltover and Zaun is only hypothetical, rather than something that has happened once before. Vander also indicates that the Day of Ash was a one-off incident ("we crossed that bridge once before" in S1E2), which is consistent with how peaceful his early memories are. I presume they wanted to focus on establishing Zaun as a thriving community first before escalating the issue with Piltover; they couldn't exactly fight for independence if there was no nation to fight for in the first place. They most likely didn't have the numbers to form an actual army either, especially not with the Lanes alone.
Eventually, Vander and Silco incited the bridge riot as what was meant to be the start of a bigger revolution, "thinking things could change". The riot was a massive failure for Zaun, and most of the fighters ended up dead. Vander decided that he had too much to lose and attempted to drown Silco to end the cycle of violence. I tend to assume this happened before Vander picked up the kids, but if you want to stay as loyal as possible to the creators' comments, I think this is a very plausible theory that explains the weird timeline and visual continuity errors.
~~~
Part 3.4: The Creation of Modern Zaun (Aftermath of S&V)
Bonus section to discuss my thoughts on what exactly happened to Silco after the Day of Ash; most of this is conjecture rather than fact.
It's pretty obvious what Vander got up to after the drowning attempt. He made a deal with Grayson to keep Zaunites off of Piltover's streets in return for peace. Much of the infrastructure in The Lanes was built during Vander and Silco's era, but I imagine construction continued into this era as well. However, any progress towards independence stagnated under Vander's leadership.
As for Silco, it seems most likely that he met up with Singed pretty soon after the betrayal. There seems to be a distinct lack of trust between them - Singed hasn't told Silco what his true motivations are, per him vaguely telling Silco "I, too, once had a daughter" (S1E8), and Silco tells Jinx that "you're the only one I can trust with this" when she suggests that he give the Hex crystal to Singed instead (S1E5). Thus, I'm inclined to believe it's a purely practical partnership, unlike Silco's relationship with Vander which was much more personal.
Silco's intention with Shimmer, as he tells Vander, was to mass-produce it at such a scale that it would scare Piltover out of entering the Lanes (many of the wiki pages say he wanted to start a war with Shimmer-enhanced soldiers, but he outright tells Vander that this is not the case). It could be that he wanted a bargaining chip too, given that "discontinue the production of Shimmer" was one of Jayce's conditions for independence in S1E9. So, Silco and Singed joined forces at some point to mass-produce Shimmer, Silco used a variant in the meantime to keep his eye infection at bay, and that brings us to the canon timeline.
I want to look a little bit into Singed and his past, as I'm very curious to know where Silco's vision fits in with Singed's motivations. We don't know exactly how much of Dr. Reveck/Orianna's story translates into Arcane, but we do know the following:
Singed was Dr. Reveck, a "revered academy alchemist" in Piltover. His work was "unparalleled", but he was dismissed from the academy with "no mention of his crime" (from Caitlyn; S2E5).
Everything he's done since his dismissal was to cure his daughter. This included the creation of Shimmer, which he did using Rio (the giant purple creature in the cave) as a vessel through which to sustain the regenerative mutation he wanted to harness. When questioned by Ambessa, he says that he's trying to cure "death".
He runs his operations out of the cave in Zaun where Rio is kept. Viktor worked with him briefly as a child, but became horrified by the sight of Rio connected to a series of wires and clearly in pain, so he left. Later, he is seen working out of several locations that all look slightly different (the place where Warwick is created, and Silco's first office under the river), so either the cave is massive with many rooms, or he has several different HQs for his experiments.
Singed uses Chemtech and Shimmer for all his experiments, often a combination of the two. It seems like Chemtech has the potential to sustain life, and Shimmer has the potential to enhance it.
In comparison, these are the main details of Orianna's origin story in League of Legends:
Corin Reveck was famous for making artificial limbs with intricate brass designs.
His daughter, Orianna, was his apprentice. She was adventurous and inquisitive, and wanted to explore the world outside of Piltover, but Dr. Reveck told her it was too dangerous.
An explosion in Zaun ruptured a chemical line and released clouds of poisonous gas. Orianna wanted to help the victims, but Dr. Reveck wouldn’t let her.
Orianna snuck away at night and helped fix the damage, repairing respirators and installing esophilters (described on the wiki as “a Chemtech augmentation that allows people to breathe noxious fumes safely”). She offered her own mask to a child who was struggling to breathe.
After returning to Piltover, Orianna became terminally ill, lungs ravaged by the toxic fumes. Dr. Reveck built her a new set of lungs, and as the poison spread throughout her body, he continued to build new implants and prosthetics for her until most of her body was mechanical.
The process cost Dr. Reveck his entire fortune, which forced them to relocate to Zaun.
Eventually Dr. Reveck fell ill, and she gave up her last remaining human organ for him - her heart.
There are obvious changes that would have to be made to this story to fit with Arcane lore. For example, Singed was already living in Zaun by the time he met up with Viktor, well before Orianna was revived. It also doesn't seem like he built her "piece by piece" as stated in the original story, instead keeping her alive and unconscious until he was certain he could save her. However, I think a lot of these details can be integrated with Arcane lore, and I have some ideas about exactly where it fits in.
As with all things, I want to figure out a timeline first before anything else. This is what we know so far:
Late 950s-960s AN: Silco and Vander start their smuggling operation with the goal of establishing the Lanes
961 AN: Viktor is born
967 AN: The Last Drop is opened
978 AN: Silco is betrayed by Vander
983 AN: Silco and Singed are working together by this point
I found no information on how old Viktor was when he met Singed, so I'm going to estimate around 12-13 judging by his appearance and voice. This would mean they met around 973-974 AN, which matches up with the timeline, given that Zaun looks quite built-up where we see other children playing (although I'm pretty sure this takes place on the Promenade level? Since it seems to be in direct sunlight). It seems like Singed is a fair way into his venture when Viktor runs into him; he's managed to cultivate the mutation he is looking for, and he has a laboratory of sorts that he operates inside the cave, with a vast array of potions, many different vats and test tubes with mutilated animals inside, and a network of pipes and wires that power his equipment. From this, I presume he's been at it for at least a few years.
With this timeline, Orianna would have fallen ill somewhere in the late 960s, right at the height of Vander and Silco's golden age when they were still building the Lanes. An explosion that ruptured a chemical line is an extremely plausible event to happen during this era, for any number of reasons; a riot in the underground, Enforcers trying to halt the construction of Zaun, explosions used to clear rocks so they had a clear path to build, etc etc. It could've been any number of things. Orianna went down there, against her father's orders, and her lungs were ravaged by the gas. Singed started to focus his research on keeping Orianna's condition stable and devising a cure by testing on animals. His unethical activities were discovered, and he was kicked out of the academy in the early 970s for his experiments. He permanently relocated to Zaun.
Sometime after Silco was betrayed, he and Singed met. I am quite confident that Silco was the one to approach Singed, and my primary justification for this comes from Singed's conversation with Viktor in S1E7. Viktor tries to pretend that he wants to use Shimmer on plants, and Singed expresses that he knows what Viktor is really there for, by saying "I know the look of a doomed man". I am convinced that he is talking about Silco here. From what we see of Singed's past before meeting Silco, he had only experimented on animals, and the only human involved before Viktor was his daughter. None of that would justify him "know[ing] the look of a doomed man". I don't think he's talking about himself either, since his injuries don't appear to be fatal and we never see him using himself as a test subject.
So I think Silco somehow found out about his operations and came to him seeking help after the betrayal. Silco had no power without Vander - all their friends/allies that we know of were either dead (Felicia and Connol) or took Vander's side (Benzo and Sevika) - and after being exposed to the toxins in the Pilt, he definitely would have been at risk for a much worse infection if left untreated. He was already taking his injections when we first see him in canon, and it actually looks like Singed might have even performed surgery of some kind on Silco, given that he has both eyelids in the actual drowning scene but one of them is missing later on.
This also helps explain what Singed was getting out of the deal, since Silco couldn't offer him anything tangible at the time; he essentially acted as Singed's first human test subject for a cure. We don't know if Silco's early injections involved Shimmer though, or if he was using some other temporary cure (Chemtech?) that Singed came up with for him before Shimmer had been perfected. Singed mentions to Viktor that he has several different variants of Shimmer, and he was already working on it for at least a little while before Silco came to him, so I'm assuming it was probably one of these variants. If that's the case, I'd guess that Silco is using a stronger dosage after the timeskip, since he responds to it differently (in S1E1 he injects it very calmly with no visible reaction at all, while later on in the series, his body seizes up and he looks to be in pain).
I'm interested in what comes after that, too. I could absolutely understand Singed agreeing to help Silco out after the betrayal, since Silco is in a similar position to Viktor at that point, and a very valuable tool in Singed's research. What I'm curious about is why Singed then agrees to mass-produce Shimmer and "flood the lanes" with it, as it's often described. These are the two explanations I came up with:
Singed wanted to explore the effects of Shimmer on the "average person", so to speak. Flooding the Lanes with Shimmer means putting it in the hands of anyone and everyone, which means ample test subjects for Singed to observe and learn from. The main issue I can think of with this theory is that Singed does all of his research from inside his lab, and one of the key things he notes about himself is that he's a loner, so it doesn't seem like he was going out there and doing field research. There could have been ways for him to learn from afar, though.
Silco offered to make Singed rich. Silco knew Shimmer could turn the tides back in his favour, and he could have tempted Singed to join him with the promise of everything they could eventually have. Early in Season 1, they share an office space underwater, and they have many giant factories with regular shipments in and out of Piltover after the timeskip. We can only assume that both of them became wealthy from this, with Singed making enough money to continue his research, and Silco making enough to build the version of the underground that he always envisioned.
And finally, I want to jump back to the aforementioned discussions about Chemtech, because something is still bugging me about it. If Chemtech existed before Hextech, and it's supposed to be this brilliant but toxic formula at the heart of Zaun's inventions, why didn't they ever weaponise it against Piltover? We know that Jinx uses Chemtech for her bombs, and Renni is seen using a chainsaw powered by Chemtech - and we also know that Silco and Vander both wanted to fight Piltover. So if Chemtech is a power source exclusive to Zaun, why didn't they mass-produce Chemtech weapons or release toxic gases into the streets of Piltover as part of their fight for independence? And after the timeskip, when Silco is working on his own, why did he focus on the production of Shimmer when Chemtech already existed?
By the time we catch up with everyone in canon in S1E1, Chemtech is very widespread. It looks like the Undercity is essentially built on it, with green lights everywhere and massive structures powered entirely by chemicals. I think it's reasonable to assume that Vander and Silco were the ones who facilitated the widespread use of Chemtech. This would fill in a lot of the gaps with regards to the precise timeline of Chemtech usage; it could have been something they once used sparingly, for things like mining equipment and light sources, but when Silco and Vander built the Undercity, it became a staple of Zaunite infrastructure. Since there was a long period over which they were smuggling goods out of Piltover and preparing to start building their nation, they could have also used that time to start developing Chemtech. I'm guessing they would've recruited someone to do this for them, since neither Vander nor Silco seem to have a knack for invention.
This leaves me with three theories with regards to the potential for Chemtech to become a weapon:
Theory 1 - They did try to use it against Piltover, but their attempts were always unsuccessful (e.g. the Day of Ash riot).
This one is pretty self-explanatory. They tried to use Chemtech weapons against Piltover, but the Enforcers were just too powerful. There are two main issues with this theory; the first being that we don't know how exactly the Enforcers would have overpowered them without Hextech, and the second being that, when we see Silco and Vander on the bridge during that riot, there's no sign of Chemtech's trademark green. Silco has a very standard-looking Molotov cocktail that produces orange flames, and Vander uses his mining gloves to beat up the Enforcers using brute force. I suppose the Molotov could have been filled with chemicals, so it's still an option.
Theory 2 - Chemtech isn't powerful enough on its own.
I believe this is the most plausible theory of the three. Chemtech is an energy source, good for powering things like light sources and machinery, but in itself, we don't actually see any evidence to suggest that it's useful on a larger scale. Powder's bombs don't work when she's younger, despite being powered by Chemtech - and even then, Chemtech is never the main feature anyway, with her bombs either being smoke-powered or filled with nails. In S1E4, Councilor Hoskel describes Zaun's "ingenuity over the years", with specific mentions of "Shimmer" and "body replacements"; I would assume, if Zaun really was capable of making deadly weapons with Chemtech, he would have mentioned that as well. Chemtech does appear to be the sole power source behind Renni's chainsaw, but mass-producing chainsaws as a war weapon is not the most practical nor smart strategy. Chemtech just isn't effective enough to make weapons that can be used to fight Piltover with, or on a large enough scale to put them in the hands of average Zaunites.
A major point in favour of this theory is the fact that no one in the Undercity seems to have guns except Jinx, which I find really interesting. During the bridge riot, all of the Enforcers are armed with guns, while Vander fights with his fists, and Silco fights with the aforementioned Molotov cocktail. Later, we see that Sevika and Vi also fight with their fists, and the Firelights use hoverboards and spears. Vander has a dagger which Silco later uses as his own melee weapon of choice. So why does no one in Zaun have guns? Surely Jinx can't be the only person who's ever thought to make her own? The answer has to be that they don't have access to them; either the money to buy them or the materials to make them. The Enforcers are always armed with them, and families like the Kirammans are known to hunt recreationally, which seems to demonstrate that guns are a mark of wealth and status. Jinx is only able to make hers once she's living with Silco, who could easily source the supplies for her.
Theory 3 - They did manage to successfully weaponise Chemtech against Piltover, but Piltover was able to harness the chemicals for themselves before Zaun could take advantage of it.
We know in canon that Silco's goal was to use Shimmer as something powerful enough to scare Piltover off their streets. I think it could be interesting if this was initially the plan for Chemtech, but the council caught wind of this dangerous invention, and commissioned the academy to work on a solution - just like Silco does with Jinx when Hextech becomes an issue. Piltover created Chemtech weapons of their own, so that Zaun would no longer have a technological advantage.
This is where Singed comes in. I think it could be interesting if Singed was the alchemist recruited to work on Chemtech; perhaps even Heimerdinger too, given that Singed mentions them having worked together. Singed managed to extract the chemicals used for Chemtech and create defensive measures against it for Piltover, thus explaining why he had such a good handle on it when he transferred his operations to Zaun. Either he managed to safely extract it, and it was subsequently used for smaller inventions in Piltover (thus explaining the green lamp and the pneuma tube gas in Grayson's office), or he made weapons that were just as toxic and dangerous as those in Zaun, which had to be locked away in case of absolute emergency (this would make sense if we assume Heimerdinger had a part in it; there's no way he would let them use it freely). This theory also explains why Singed would be especially cautious about letting Orianna visit the underground, if he was working with Chemtech himself at the time and knew how dangerous it could be.
Here's my proposal for a rough timeline, using this theory:
Late 950s-960s AN: Silco and Vander start their smuggling operation with the goal of establishing the Lanes.
Early 960s AN: Chemical compounds are smuggled out of the mines, and a group of rebels start using it to develop new inventions, per Silco and Vander's plan.
967 AN: The Last Drop is opened; Vander and Silco start actually building the Lanes. Piltover catches wind of the construction and tries to send Enforcers down there to stop them, but they use newly-forged Chemtech weapons to keep them out. Enforcers are ordered by the council to stay out of the underground due to the danger. Singed (and possibly Heimerdinger) starts working with the compounds mined for Chemtech to develop stronger defensive measures.
Late 960s AN: During construction of the Lanes, something goes wrong that results in the release of toxic gases from Chemtech (a "ruptured chemical line", according to Orianna's League lore story). Singed is the first in Piltover to learn about it, and Orianna overhears. He warns her not to go down there; she does not listen. She goes to help the victims, and falls gravely ill. Singed continues his Chemtech research as authorised, but starts a side project using the chemicals to develop a cure, with a giant vat of liquid to keep her alive in the meantime.
Early 970s AN: Singed's unethical experiments are discovered, and he is booted out of the academy and stripped of his status. He permanently relocates to Zaun.
978 AN: The Day of Ash; Vander and Silco lead an army across the bridge, Enforcers fight back, disaster strikes. It's the first fight for which Piltover brings out the locked-away Chemtech weapons, which is what makes it so explosive (we see Enforcers' guns explode on impact in S1E1, which they don't seem to do any other time).
978 AN (cont'd): Silco finds out about Singed's research somehow and they meet up. Silco knows that Chemtech is no longer an advantage for the Undercity, so he seeks a new solution. Meanwhile, Vander makes his deal with Grayson, and Chemtech weapons on both sides are destroyed.
983 AN: Singed tests his newest Shimmer variant on a rat. He determines that it's now adequate for a human to drink.
This theory does have a few minor holes - Hoskel's line in S1E4 again being one of them, as well as the fact that Silco doesn't consider the possibility of weaponising Hextech until after Jinx steals the crystal - but I find it to be the most intriguing, and could be a compelling way of tying all these stories together.
~~~
Part 4: Wrap-Up
PHEW. We've finally reached the Sump. If you read this entire post, congrats on making it all the way down here! This was over 12k words total so certainly a behemoth to get through; thank you so much for sticking with me <3
I wanted to include one final summary of the timeline, colour-coded to indicate where all this information comes from. I’ve used blue to indicate origins in League of Legends lore, green to indicate Arcane lore (according to the wiki), and red to indicate that I extrapolated the dates myself. In case anyone has trouble distinguishing red and green, I’ve also included an asterisk (*) next to all the reds.
6000-5000 BN: Westward Migration. Humans began to migrate towards the Shuriman Continent. One of the new cities founded was a sea port called Oshra Va’Zaun.
2000-3 BN: Various Wars. Several wars happened during this time; Janna protected Oshra Va’Zaun from every conflict.
676 AN: Heimerdinger is born. He is 307 (Act 1) / 314 (Act 2).
772 AN: The Collapse. The people of Oshra Va’Zaun attempted to crack open an area of the land using Chemtech bombs. The bombs triggered a series of earthquakes that destroyed the isthmus.
790 AN: Piltover is Established. The ruins of Oshra Va’Zaun underwent extensive reconstruction, and the new city of Piltover was built over the Pilt River.
940 AN: Vander is born. He is 43 / 50.
*943 AN: Silco is born. He is 40 / 47.
*Late 950s-Early 960s AN: Smuggling begins. Vander and Silco start their smuggling operation.
959 AN: Jayce is born. He is 24 / 31.
961 AN: Viktor is born. He is 22 / 29.
966 AN: Caitlyn is born. She is 17 / 24.
966-67 AN: Felicia-Vander-Silco scene. A milestone of Zaun's development is celebrated in The Last Drop.
967 AN: Vi is born. She is 16 / 23.
972 AN: Jinx is born. She is 11 / 18.
*978 AN: Silco is betrayed. Beginning of Vander's solo reign and an armistice between Piltover and Zaun.
983 AN: Events of Season 1 Act 1. The Kiramman warehouse is raided, Hextech is invented, and Powder accidentally kills most of her family.
990 AN: Events of Season 1 Act 2. The main Arcane timeline starts here.
I cannot emphasise enough that I put this all together on my own with zero knowledge of League lore going into it, so there are bound to be gaps and inaccuracies somewhere along the way. This is by no means intended as the be-all and end-all of Arcane lore guides, but hopefully there are things in here that someone else will find helpful!
Good luck with your fanworks ventures :-)
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okay, i am GENUINELY not trying to be patronizing or condescending right now, but the amount of pearl-clutching and freaking out that's happened in the past six months or so about the wrestlers you write about finding your fic has been quite high, and VERY GENUINELY, if you are one of the people panicking: how did you not factor this in as a possibility in the first place? i'm being serious. how did you, when you sat down to write about real people, not think that those very real people with internet connections and a metric fuckton of boring travel time were not going to find fanfics about themselves if they wanted to?
we are in an age where fanfiction is mainstream. back in 2000, when i was in high school, you didn't talk about that shit, but now? people are reccing fanfics on tiktok videos. publishing has figured out that writers here put out good stuff and are repackaging it for profit. ao3 is a hugo award winning fanfiction archive. y'all. it's out there. it's all out there. this is a fan space. it's still our space. you can't stop them from ending up here, but that's on them, not us. if you're freaking out, then maybe this isn't something you want to be doing. i'm being very serious. if this is causing you panic, you probably should not be part of this in the year 2024. but, like, i would bet a fairly substantial amount of money that at least 50% of them are well aware of what their number one pairing on ao3 is.
they're already here. they already know. they have always known lol. i'm, like, 75% sure i've had lines lifted from fics before, and honestly, that's not a panic moment, that's a fuck yeah i really nailed that moment. you're not doing anything wrong. this is a fan space. as long as you aren't putting it in front of them and they came here on their own? besties, you're good. you're great. it's fine. i'm being serious, please stop panicking. you gotta roll with it if you're gonna be here. you gotta assume that, at any point, someone involved could find what you're writing. genuinely, if you are not comfortable with that, then you're gonna have to just keep your fics to some google docs you share with a few friends. i know that not everyone has had a red alert level 5 the call is coming from inside the house moment, but it's one of those things. it comes with the territory.
we gotta stop freaking out every month lol. take the acknowledgements and laugh about them. it's fun when they give shout-outs! they know what's cookin'. it's cute that they keep an eye on fandom and what's hitting with us. don't put it in their faces, don't tag them on social media with it, just keep doin' what you're doin' here in the fan space and having a nice time. i promise you'll be okay.
#i am too old for this lmaoooooo#like c'mon friends take the W#i would love to know which characterizations went over the best#i would LOVE to know which fics they liked the most#and sometimes we get to know these things!#but not if we keep panicking about it#shout-out to chuckie t for telling us he liked the domestic fics with trent the most#THAT SHIT IS SO CUTE
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Planning Your Novel
Planning can sometimes be extremely difficult, but is unfortunately a necessity when you want to write a book. Based on research and my own personal experiences planning, these are some things that may help you on your planning journey through tips, questions or even a couple of different methods.
Personally, I recommend having a notebook dedicated to your story planning. It can be as messy as you want, as organised as you want. You could scribble a line of a song, a book, a poem, anything down into it that could be useful inspiration. Use your notebook as your best friend. You can write and tell it anything if you think something may come to use. If you do not have a notebook with you, or genuinely not want one, use the notes app on your phone or keep everything in a google doc, ready for you to come back to and write it down when needed. Genuinely though, planning is so much easier when you have something that keeps it all together.
(The writing in red is a couple of methods you can use, but keep in mind it helps if you find something that works for you)
These are some questions that may be useful when planning:
What makes your main character superior to other characters?
Who is connected to your main character?
What are the traits of your characters? (What they like, dislike, their flaws etc)
What is their appearance like?
What is their background or backstory like? (Did they come from a broken family, or an amazing one? Did society treat them well?)
Magic Systems - For Fantasy Novels:
When you plan a fantasy novel, you usually have to have a magic system... In most cases. So I would start with how their magic is sourced. Is there a specific object that their magic comes from? A mini example of this could be a crystal that has been around for decades! They could even be born with their magic, like perhaps it was a power that ran in your character's family for decades.
Think about what happens when their energy source is weakened, damaged, broken. What would happen to the main character's powers? Do they become fatigue? Do they die? Do they go into a coma? Can they live without their magic source?
Personally, the way I plan my magic systems include me breaking down the kingdoms into their own categories. I would research things of that specific species within that kingdom to get a good idea of what magic they have. Bullet point listing is my own personal favourite technique when I plan because it helps me keep it short and simple. After researching that species' magic, I would then write what makes them stronger. An example of this could be a mermaid being stronger by the sea. Water often carries a lot of energy meaning it is a potential source for a character's strength to become enhanced.
Also, consider how powerful that species is and why they may be useful in your story line.
Locations:
I believe it is helpful if you categorise your chapters first via subheadings, that way it is easier for you to find individual chapters and plan through them at your own pace. Usually, a great way to start is what locations that character is in, within that chapter. Are they in a forest? Trapped somewhere? Perhaps outside of Heaven's gates?
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Mind Maps, aka spider grams/mind dumping is super helpful. I have used this method in the past with most of my work both inside of writing and outside of it when i used to study in education (not that the mention of me using it to study is relevant, lol.) A good way of using this is to put a category in the center of your bubble and have different categorised strands coming off. Off of those strands, you may have characters. Then you'd do even more strands coming off of that category to break things down about them. (Rough example below)
Sometimes, it helps if you work out what happens at the end of your book first, then consider a few possibilities to what could lead up to that point. An example of this could be: if you want your end result have a character death, does that character get betrayed? If so, who by?
Pick a genre and research the things that make that genre good and what they consist of. For example if you look at a Shakespeare play, they often consist of a character being used for comedic relief. (I understand that these aren't books, but a play script for inspiration is a great way to get ideas)
A lot of people say to find inspiration through reading, but that isn't always something you have to do. I very rarely read, and yet I often have tons of ideas entering and leaving my mind. I think songs, poetry, quotes and getting obsessive over fictional characters are great ways for me to get inspiration. Like, when it comes to me gaining an interest in a character, I pick out things about them that would make a great character in a book. Like in Scream movies for example, Billy Loomis is a great inspiration for an insane, stalker-like character, then I would slightly inspire a character based on him. Or I would have a dark thought and want to implement that into a character.
Use pinterest!! Most writers these days will tell you to use it. It is SUPER helpful if you need inspiration for locations, characters or even general vibes in your book. It is there to be used, so take it to your advantage, don't be scared.
Sticky notes can be used to help provide extra information, say if you missed something important, quickly scribble it down and stick it on a wall, in your bag, in your phone case or notebook to look back on later.
#female writers#writer#writers and poets#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writing#author#creative writing#writeblr#writers#writing help#tips#authors#story#stories#short story#fiction#storytelling#story writing
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introducing my lifa app!!
so if you don't know what the lifa app is... here is my extremely confusing explanation. if you can't understand it, i don't blame you
the basics of my app:
The app is for pc, phone, ipad, and other electronic devices (or on paper in drs without smartphones)
It will automatically appear and it can not be deleted. I know everything there is to know about Lifa and I control the app with absolute ease.
If someone were to go on a device where the Lifa app is on, they wouldn’t be able to see it or tap on it at all. Only I can see it or use it and it is 100% real and 100% effective
The lifa app doesn’t take up ANY storage
Lifa knows exactly what I mean because it is connected to my subconscious mind. It knows what I mean exactly, and all intrusive thoughts are ignored
The lifa app doesn’t need wifi
I can do ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING with Lifa, no restrictions, and nobody ever suspects that I’m using it
Nothing I search or watch on my lifa app is traceable by anyone but me (not even cell or wifi companies)
There are ZERO CONSEQUENCES to using Lifa and what decisions I make. Nothing goes wrong, everything happens how I expect it to, excluding the intrusive thoughts which are always ignored
No one is ever suspicious of the things I manifest and it’s like I’ve always had them (clothes, food, talents, etc. has always been there)
okay now for the features!!
lifa closet
Any item of clothing I choose from the catalog, script, or import a picture of will be sent to my closet, suitcase, or wherever I want
reality shifting
I can set a time and pick a reality to shift to. I will then shift during that exact time
reality check
I can check which reality I am in with the click of a button
scripter
I can script and write anything. Inserted images are HD, and PNG images remain transparent. I can insert infinite images and change the font’s color and style itself (same features as notes/notion/google docs but neater)
desired scenario
I can specifically script to describe my desired scenario. I can set the time and date to when the scenario happens. The scenario is exactly like how I want and even 1 trillion times better
manifestor
I can insert a picture or describe what I want to manifest. I can also manifest people by typing their name and Lifa will automatically recognize who they are. I can set the time and date to when you want that thing to manifest, and it will happen 100%.
skill increaser
Choose any skill I desire to have (I can also insert it by typing “cooking”). I can choose to master any skill and it will show up immediately. I can search any skill and increase on a scale of 1-100% mastery
motherlode (sims reference lol)
I can deliver/spawn money of any currency in my chosen form. (gift cards, bank acc, cash, etc.) I can choose from coins to bills. There is no limit amount of money or times to deliver it. I can deliver it how much and how many times I want. The money is 100% legal and valid, and passes all money detectors. The money has valid and legal coding, as if it had been made in factories. It still remains perfectly legal. I can choose to spawn the money in my purse, bottom of backpack, pockets, amazon, wallet, etc. The money spawns in 5 seconds. I can deliver/spawn as much money as I desire, there is no limit (even 50 million is 100% possible). There is 0% risk of money inflation
lifa credit card
The Lifa credit card has an infinite amount of money and can never go in debt. There is an infinite amount of money in all international currencies. The card is universal and 100% valid and legal. It can be used in any ATM and online store/game (could be recognized as any official credit card like eg. visa or ae). The money has no money or usage limit, and it can be used for anything, anytime. In ATM machines it appears that the card only has 1000€/$, but in the Lifa app it will be ∞ €/$. If the card gets lost, it will automatically disappear. The same happens if the card breaks, and Lifa will spawn a new card with the same exact info. It will come inside a little gift box (that matches the app’s color scheme I desire) wherever I want. The card’s number and code (and other infos) are up to me or the universe but it's always 100% valid. The card lasts forever. There is 0% risk of money inflation
lifa bank account
The bank account feature is connected to the credit card feature. It’s almost like a normal bank acc. I can see all mytransactions. The amount of money never changes because it stays 100% infinite. I can change my money’s currency. I can also take money out of the card in my desired currency. I can customize the card’s design and I can spawn more cards. I can easily create more bank accounts too, they will all have infinite money. There is 0% risk of money inflation
lifa paypal/venmo/cashapp/etc.
It is 100% legal anywhere. It is exactly like the real paypal, but my Lifa bank account/card is registered. I can use it in all purchases that require paypal. I can login on the real paypal website with the Lifa paypal acc. When I first use the app I get to create a Lifa paypal account. The balance shows 1000€ / $ / £ but the money amount is infinite. There is 0% risk of money inflation
food delivery
If I insert a picture of a food item or search the catalog, Lifa will recognize. When I confirm, it will be sent to my ideal location. (i can pick the location). The food will be 100% fresh and new
boredom cure
Instantly provides me with inspiration to do something that is productive and beneficial to my overall well-being
create-a-person
I can design a person’s hair, body, face, etc., script their personality and choose their traits. It is set up like scripting and has different templates I can use. I can change skin tone, skin type, undertone, hair color, hair texture, eye color, etc. I can insert any pictures and they’ll be exactly how I want. When I insert a script of the person’s personality and behaviour, Lifa will recognize it. I can also script traits and the person’s backstory. I have to fill in each’s birth info (name, age, birthday, sign, blood type, etc) to my desire. I can also choose the relationship between the people when I’m done creating them. Then I confirm and once I shift to my dr it will all be exactly like how I wanted and even 1 trillion times better. If I’m feeling lazy, I can select to let the universe fill in the gaps, and the universe will fill them like I wanted and even better
lifa messenger
I can text with anyone in the universe that I want. It feels completely real and all conversations are remembered. It’s like having online bestie because the people I text always get along with me, always respond, and actually care about me. We can also call and video chat. I am not actually communicating with someone from my reality and instead with the universe since everyone is part of the universe. It works exactly how I want it to
natal chart
I can select which life/reality’s natal chart I want to see. Lifa offers a personalized detailed description of my chart and personality. The chart is 100% accurate. I can also select to look at anyone’s natal chart. Lifa will show a list of everyone I know. It is divided in 5 categories (friends, family, acquaintances, classmates/coworkers, celebrities). The natal chart can also show compatibility
grade changer
Automatically makes me have good grades and changed all my past grades to A. My wrong test answers morph into correct test answers
ask-me-anything
I can ask anything and get the complete and 100% right answer. The questions can vary from asking where my lost tennis shoes are to what’s the answer to number 4 on my math homework. There is no limit to what can be asked and the answer given is always exactly what I need
feature adder
I can visualize and script more features and add them to Lifa with the feature adder. Lifa will add these features in 1 second and they will be 100% effective. Lifa also knows exactly what I mean, even if I script something wrong, so there are no surprises
lifaflix
A streaming site where I can watch shows that only exist in my dr (most of the time used for fame drs so i can see all the great acting projects i have been a part of). I can also watch my drs like tv shows.
lifatube
A video site set up like YouTube where I can watch anything from my dr. Things like fan edits, compilations of dr moments, my dr tiktoks, youtube videos made by my dr self and more. I can also watch memories/anything that happens from either a 3rd person point of view or 1st person
lifa socials
My lifa app has social media accounts from all my different realities that i can flip through, post from, dm with people from those realities, and go live (i can post anything i want on these social media sites and i’m immune to anything bad happening like leaking nudes, screenshots, hacking, or any other cybercrimes/bad things). My wr self even has their own account
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#subliminals#desired reality#manifesting#manifestation#reality shift#shifting realities#shifting community#my scripts ♫#shifter#shift#shifters#scripting#shifting script#desired life#lifa app
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I LOVE that FNAF SB art you did with Vanny, Monty, and Roxy capturing Chica!
Please please tell me where I can read your Glamrock Chica analysis! I'm a long-time FNAF fan and I LOOOOOVE hearing people's analyses and theories! 🤩
The connections people make amaze me all the time and I love when someone connects some dots and is tapping the paper going "See?! Look at these! Isn't that odd?!" and I'm on the edge of my seat going "OMG that is so odd! Please tell me more my brainy friend!"
Thanks!! Tbh, I wanna remake these again sometime because these were made back in 2023 and I wanna see how far my skills have gone now lol
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6fefc4b97176bb39fdaefca6278efb0d/2b7c710f77a31026-f1/s540x810/87bbb17b0f477cadf00e02a1afe8fa8da29327d7.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cdfab4261b454149d62944a725c348c4/2b7c710f77a31026-64/s540x810/c0380fe27c8c52c6d6c7cda9452b9d5ff55773a3.jpg)
Also I would LOVE to give you the link to my Glamrock Chica analysis, but that's on twitter.... and the thought of going back to twitter..... /neg
So instead I will put the google docs version here! Btw, this analysis was done way before Ruin (specifically, this was back in 2022), which means there could be some outdated information in it.
Also, I don't trust word by mouth, and by extension, Ruin. With Scott's history of retconning, and the very obvious lack of regard towards Chica.... yeah. This means this is an analysis that only applies to Security Breach entirely.
WARNING FOR LONG READ!
So, about Chica.
It's been thrown around that she barely has any personality to go with based on in-game when I digress about that fact. I've actually been studying Chica's movements to the best I can, casually looking up every canon footage on yt and going to the wiki for recorded audio proofs. The only thing I wish is that people would dig up a datamine about each animatronic animations so I can see them in clearer light.
But setting aside that for now, let's talk about something Chica audio-related.
So I've been thinking. Chica's speech pattern is definitely peculiar, especially if you compare it to the rest of the Glamrocks. Her speech is definitely reminiscent of that a pre-programmed voiceline, and perhaps, it is at some point. However, going further than that even, what makes Chica stand out amongst the rest is one thing: Her calling out for GREGORY BY NAME.
Freddy knowing Gregory's name is obvious, Gregory introduced himself to him. But why does Chica know, when Gregory has never talked, nor introduced himself to Chica once?
Is it the Fazwatch? Yes, but indirectly.
Did she overhear it? Impossible, her green room is the farthest away from Freddy.
My answer: Vanessa. Or more accurately, Vanny. She knows Gregory's name because of the Fazwatch.
But this.... this doesn't make sense! If Chica says it, how come Roxy and Monty don't? They never call Gregory by his name, not even once! I truly believe that they DON'T KNOW GREGORY'S NAME. You can argue that perhaps, it's just their method of speaking. i.e, "kid" and "little guy", and it's a bit that but I really think otherwise.
Why? it's because they're not under influence like Chica is. More on that later. (elaborated further on "About Roxy and Monty.... and why Chica is odder in terms of hunting methods than the two.")
Something I wanna bring to the table as well: Chica may be selectively mute. Or to be more precise, is going through traumatic mutism.
I've talked about this a bit with my friends on discord, this is something that I've found. We know for a fact that Chica's voice is pretty damn powerful. Enough to make Freddy's voice more gravelly than it is, and to produce high frequencies that disable voice-activated locks. A blessing for players, but a curse for the chicken.
Therefore, what if Chica doesn't want to speak at all outside of the hack?
Some evidences to back this up:
The biggest clue of them all, The duffelbags.
A report about her upgrade shows that her experimental voicebox caused impairment to bot navigations, and a lot of chaos + lawsuits from party attenders. This voicebox was never replaced despite advisement saying (which makes me wonder what the hell happened to her old voicebox-), so I think Glamrock Chica developed a fear of raising her tone, or speaking entirely.
(- MAINT LOG: CHICA - Don't let her sing! Messes with the navigation of the other bots. Horrible results when she sang during live performance. S.T.A.F.F. bots dropping serving trays, chaos, guest injuries, 12 lawsuits. Experimental voice box test failed. Replacement advised. -)
The vents scene. Out of everyone, Glamrock Chica NEVER spoke in the vents section.
We never hear a sound from her, not even a squeak, a grunt, a sigh or a sound of acknowledgement. She just... plays her guitar. We hear Monty raging in his room, Roxy complementing herself, And Freddy, well, being Freddy. In fact, we never get to hear ANYTHING from her verbal-wise, that is until she begins chasing down Gregory. You know, when she's already hacked.
Staying around Chica's vicinity.
After a round or two of her voicelines, Chica starts sobbing. What's weird is that this "crying" is almost silent. Like, she doesn't wanna allow anyone to hear it. She's holding it back but at the same time, she just can't. Here's a yt video that a poster explains how they got this line: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK7cQphVgZw
Lastly, her voiceline's tone.
She speaks in a sing-song manner, yet sometimes it sounds almost like a whisper. Reminiscent of Vanny's tone as well. What does help back this last evidence is the fact that Freddy has a scrapped voiceline in the Burntrap fight with the SAME DAMN SING-SONG TONE.
Also, can we please talk about Chica's behavioral pattern?
Not enough people point this out, but like damn. Does she look SO uninterested when chasing you down. Her shoulders are slumped, she's tilting her head lazily, and she slowly jogs towards you. Not to mention, that when she spawns behind you and when she's idle/stops in her patrol route to look around, she will momentarily stop to twitch, making various clicking servos noises as if the programming is glitching back and forth... or she's actively being hacked.
And what's up with her green room while we're on the topic of her behavior?
An easy answer would be that she's of course, a starter antagonist. An enemy designed to introduce you to the game's mechanics, a base foe that's a little bit easier to evade and/or fight than others. (they kinda failed lol)
However, a lore-wise answer would be that she's being forced against her will to do so. She doesn't wanna chase down Gregory and hurt him, but unfortunately Vanny's overriding her programming completely, so she can't do anything but watch as her body does the hunting for her.
Aside from that, I think the glitching out must be a result of Chica's original programming (unsuccessfully) trying to fight off the control, hence the momentary idle when she spawns in after being alerted unlike the two who immediately rushes in to attack.
Most people in the fandom believe that Chica's glitch and twitchiness comes from the fact that her insides are being messed up by her eating trash.
I can see where they're coming from, but I kind of... don't believe this? Mostly because one, Fazbear Entertainment is absolutely aware of Chica's habit to eat, therefore this "eating" thing was never intended to be a glitch but rather a feature (I'm definitely certain it's to promote their food since that's the most obvious answer), which means she definitely has a pouch for the food she eats somewhere in her torso. And two, she throws up the trash she eats (if you watch her closely in the cameras), so it doesn't stay there long enough to mess with her insides.
Chica's mannerisms of eating trash is definitely a result of stress eating, though.
Oh, and before I forget, what about Chica's Green Room? Why is it that compared to others, hers is the messiest (excluding the damage Monty did to his, of course) ? I'm talking pizza boxes scattered everywhere on the floor, desserts, trashbags and junk food all around, like a depression room, almost. My friend Nexus once again, assumes this to be because Chica is programmed to have ADHD to be "relatable", and this much I believe.
Chica is shown in the intro to do "dino arms". Dino/T-Rex arms are a common symptom for neurodivergency (and I tend to do this as well), often done subconsciously. Also, I think it's pretty funny considering Chica is a chicken, and chickens are said to be the closest relative to Dinosaurs.
Her being the easiest to lose once Gregory makes enough distance and goes around enough corners may also be something intentionally programmed into her. Neurodivergent people tend to lose track of things easily, and get distracted by something that piques their interest (something I relate way too well)
It's also possible that dancing may be a way to let extra energy loose for Chica. I think it's safe to assume that Chica can canonically dance, if Mazercise is taken into account for this. People with ADHD have too much energy in them should it be something they love to do, and they need an outlet for these kinds of things.
her "bawking" is possibly verbal stimming, as no other Glamrocks produce animalistic sounds like her when they are hit with the fazerblaster/flashed by the fazcam.
The difficulty of her maintaining her room as clean as the others could also be seen as part of her neurodivergent programming.
I can't help but see these evidences to be a part of a neurodivergent programming, possibly coded to be like this in favor of relatability. Knowing Fazbear Entertainment, coding one of their robots to have ADHD makes absolute sense if it meant raking in more money towards the teens.
Dumpster Diving: Trying to explain why Chica eats trash
Ah, yes. Stress eating. What seems to be a minor problem, but is quite prominent amongst people. Stress eating is a result of finding comfort in putting food in your mouth for temporary relief. Emotional eating is eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions, such as stress, anger, fear, boredom, sadness and loneliness. Major life events or, more commonly, the hassles of daily life can trigger negative emotions that lead to emotional eating.
So, we know Chica is a compulsive eater. It seems that at every opportunity she can, she'd try to stuff her face with garbage. But why specifically garbage?
It's a literal take for "junk food", basically. Unhealthy foods are often called to be garbage food that provides temporary satisfaction, but can definitely mess you up in the long run depending on how much you eat. (thanks to my friend Nexus on this theory)
Her systems may have confused trash for pizza, however this may also be unlikely but I just wanna throw this out there.
This is an unhealthy coping mechanism. With the stress of losing Bonnie as her bandmate, and the addition of her body moving on it's own, I think she's trying to cope by eating the closest thing to food as kitchen supplies are kept away from her, which are leftovers thrown away.
About Roxy and Monty.... and why Chica is odder in terms of hunting methods than the two.
I'm definitely gonna be scrutinized by the community with this, but.... I don't think Roxy and Monty are under control. And I get it, a lot of y'all favor the others over Chica.
I just want you all to hear me out for a second, though. I've been doing my own fair share of researching the other two.
...Not as much as I did with Chica, but just enough to know that they're not hacked like she is.
it could be:
Monty is doing this hunting thing all on his own, full-stop. He didn't need to get Aftoned, since he and Vanny could have established a deal with each other. Vanny gets kids to gather remnant from, and Monty is promised the lead role. Something that we know he DESPERATELY WANTS, if you've seen the Monty Golf Arcade stage. (Which I think gives us something new to think about why Freddy isn't hacked in the first place)
Roxy is not hacked, but she's not doing this hunting thing out of free will either. I think she was peer pressured (or coerced even), manipulated to hunt down children for remnant experiments. She's pretty easy to break as seen by how she's immediately crying, convincing herself that she's not a loser, which implies Vanessa called her one when she went through the wolf's room. Perhaps she too, was promised an audience that would adore her if she did it successfully.
Chica is absolutely hacked. Aside from Moon, she's definitely under the influence of Afton/Vanny. She doesn't seem to be ego-driven like the two, therefore she drives a hard bargain. I believe she wasn't swayed with Vanny's manipulation, and this costed her her free will. A rather unfortunate trade.
It's really weird how people seem to dismiss the fact that Roxy and Monty walks and talks normally, chases Gregory like this hunt is all part of the gig, when Chica doesn't. Because I'm over here thinking that's a huge indication that, yeah, Chica might be hacked, and the other two aren't. (or at least, not to the extent that Chica is)
And about the scrapped possessed Freddy voicelines, too. I swear, Chica's voiceline tones and his match way too close for comfort, and I think that's the biggest clue for Chica being hacked yet.
I do think that Chica was also hacked with the intention of manipulating Gregory to trust and follow her like that one "nice" stranger, since she's basically like Freddy normally (if it's Roxy and Monty that's cool and ego-driven for audiences, then it'd make sense for Freddy and Chica to be the "Papa Bear" and "Mother Hen" to kids attending the pizzaplex). She definitely gives off bubbly girl vibes if we just... ignore Valley Chica and push her to the side.
I don't think I'll be making a Mazercise analysis because jesus christ Chica I love you but goddamn does your venue suck so much ass
Vanessa and Chica: Parallels between a bunny-costumed killer, and a guitarist animatronic performer
Now this is something I've never seen nor heard to be talked about with in the community other than my friend who's really good at observations and theories, and that's the parallel between the white woman jumpscare and the funny haha trash eater --and I'm not sure if that's because Chica is obscure compared to others, or not enough people like Chica to the point of theorizing about this.
Or I just live under a rock, that's all.
But, I think there's some lines to draw with Vanessa and Chica. How they're both under the influence of a higher being, reluctantly following. Taken over, even. A human and an psuedo-sentient AI, going through the same horrible thing.
Where one has submitted herself to the control, while the other is actively fighting back against it and refuses (although fails). Unfortunately there's not much to say here yet due to the fact that we don't have all the details just yet, but this is where the Ruin DLC kicks down my door and punches me square in the stomach then proceeds to spit on my face as I lay on the floor sobbing. (Future me saying yes it has done this to me but it made me go "WHAT THE FUCK MAN." in a /neg way)
I do hope that Steel Wool explores this concept even further, and maybe even a showdown between the two. That'd be pretty badass. Will an AI win against a force where a human couldn't?
Time will tell.
So, what's the summary for Chica?
I think it's really tragic that all this speculation gives out the idea that Chica is dealing with a lot of stress caused by keeping to herself, and even a depression state.
An experimental voicebox going haywire, causing trauma to her evolving psuedo-sentience code and refraining her from speaking most of the time. The start of an unhealthy food obsession as coping mechanism. And then after that, mourning the sudden loss of someone called a friend, coupled by a virus corrupting her systems, further strengthening the desire of emotional consumption. A robot programmed to be quirky and relatable, going through so much, and what makes this even worse is the fact that I don't think ANYONE in the Glamrocks ever know about what she's dealing with.
She only eats trash when she's alone and separated from the rest of the hunters, and weeps silently, keeping her sobs of grief to herself only. A kind-hearted figure, ruined by serial killer's doing. She cares SO MUCH as evidenced by the intro, yet the care she receives back is little to none.
A character thrown to the side all because her story isn't out there, like Freddy acting as a father-figure fill-in for a homeless orphan, Roxy with her low self-esteem hidden underneath a fragile sense of narcissism, or even Monty with his strong desire to be the one underneath the spotlight and willing to do whatever it takes just to make that come true. Hell, there's more Bonnie fans than Chica and the guy doesn't even make a single appearance.
Instead, she's disregarded by the community to be the bland one all because of misunderstandings and lack of evidences presented onto the table.
I think, out of all of them, she deserved her brutal fate THE LEAST if not at all.
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Thank you for reading if you've reached this far! I believe I wrote this analysis with some passive aggressiveness because I was so frustrated that I could barely get my voice out to talk to the fandom about Chica, but I tried my best to make it more... polite lol
Hopefully, tumblr is nicer than twitter when it comes to theories.
Also, I actually wanted to make my own version of Chica's venue! Please someone ask me about it please please please please please Mazercise physically hurts me to the core
#thanks for the ask!#ziku's insane rambles#(this is the most y'all can look at me and think “yeah this is definitely an insane rambling”)#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#security breach#five nights at freddy's security breach#analysis#character analysis#glamrock chica#fnaf glamrock chica#fnaf sb#glamrock chica analysis!!!!!! woo#I wish Scott cared about her more#I WISH Steel Wool did more for her too#it's so obvious they had SOMETHING planned. but holy shit#Chica fans never win#because Scott is just a HATER#(drinks a bottle of cold cola) Chica? Why... I haven't heard of that name in years....... /ref /j#my mental illness was so strong and it still spans to today#Glamrock Chica is STILL my favorite Glamrock
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