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number-onekidqueen · 9 months ago

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𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫

Part One Part Two.

Angst

Luke Castellan x Apollo!fem!reader

warnings: underage alcohol use, minor injuries, angst, denying feelings, surprise kisses

Summary: you and Luke go to a party and some things happen while you’re under the influence.

Parties were secret affairs at Camp Half-Blood.

Well, secret from Chiron, the one who would put an end to them. Mr D. could usually be convinced by one of his children to keep quiet if a dash of something alcoholic was poured into his Diet Coke. Once curfew had passed and all the younger children had been safely and snugly tucked in and Chiron and Mr D. had retreated to Big House, all those involved would gather in one of the emptier cabins that had older campers. The Hypnos kids would place a sleeping spell on the younger kids that belonged to the cabin hosting the party.

And then the fun would begin.

The alcoholic beverage supply was not immense, but there was enough provided from older Hermes campers to get, well, severely wasted.

Luke knew that path hadn’t been your initial idea, but you were well on your way there.

He on the other hand, hadn’t drank that much, stopping after he noticed just how much you had been drinking.

You weren’t usually like this. As a daughter of Apollo you were intelligent and responsible, a trusted head counsellor and a masterful healer. It was usually he causing mischief and getting hurt, and you patching him up and reprimanding him.

How the roles had reversed. Instead of your modest camp uniform and demeanour, you were in ripped jeans and a striped tank top and had converted into an absolute entertainer, lighting up the room. You weren’t acting like a semi-rowdy nineteen year old anymore, but a fully-wild twenty-five year old college student. He wished he was as drunk as you, because it seemed you were having the time of your life from how enthusiastically you were laughing with a random Ares girl you had traded drinks with.

Instead he was the only vaguely sober one in a crowd of drunk late teens playing inappropriate games or dancing. It wasn’t fun anymore.

The games were the only thing that kept him there.

“Ok… y/n,” one of your sisters - he couldn’t tell in the dim light, Apollo children all looked golden - drawled, pointing insistently to you. “Do a dare or spin the bottle!”

He observed as you appeared to think, contemplative as you sipped beer - gods you needed to stop drinking, please - before reaching for the glass bottle on the floor. The small crowd cheered and squatted in a wonky circle, Luke joining them and sighing lightly.

He hated this game. Hated how you would happily kiss anyone. He wished in these moments that he did have the courage to talk to you, to tell you how he felt and sweep you off your feet. And then it would be him you would kiss and hold hands with, and he would take care of you and do anything to make you laugh.

But instead you kissed others.

Finally, after a few clumsy grasps of the bottle, you drunkenly clutched it before giving it a rough spin. It whirled around and around noisily, colours shining off of it, and at that moment he loathed that gleaming glass neck, loathed it with a passion for pointing at everyone but him-

For not-

Pointing at him.

At him.

And by some miracle, by some grace from the Gods, it was pointing at him.

His heart raced wildly and he struggled to breathe as he glanced up at you. You were already looking at him. Your eyes looked golden in the light, and your hair covered most of your face, hiding your expression. He inhaled and exhaled shakily, hoping to calm down as he waited for your move.

You stayed still.

Still.

Maybe this was awkward for you, he suddenly realised, panicking. After all he was your best friend, of course it was weird to kiss your best friend. In fact you were probably waiting for him to call it off, but he’d taken so long to understand, he was an idiot.

“It’s o-okay,” he stuttered, cursing himself, “you don’t-“

You pounced at him, your lips smashing together. Immediately his mind went blank. It was burning, passionate, fierce, and somehow infinitely better than anything he’d ever guiltily dreamed about as he lay awake. He noticed vaguely that you’d landed in his lap and wrapped your arms aggressively around his neck. He was much more preoccupied by your lips, how they moved against his perfectly. How when you were this close to him, you smelled like chocolate chip cookies. How your lips and mouth and tongue tastes like flawless hot spun sugar. How you were into this, and into him. How all of his dreams had come true and maybe this wasn’t a terrible night.

And then you dragged a hand through his curls and it felt so good he had to fight not to groan, ugh.

“Get some, Castellan!”

“Something’s getting a little hot in here.”

And this meant nothing, he realised suddenly as the catcalls continued, his thoughts returning. Because this was all an act, something to impress the others and make them laugh from your boldness. Luke was just the pawn, something to elevate you higher-

He felt sick, his lips slowing, before stopping completely, pulling away from you. He faked a weak smile, drawing his face further away from yours and avoiding eye contact. He didn’t want to see the drunken humour in your eyes.

“Ok, your turn next!!” Someone yelled, and it was all over.

——————————————

So it stayed, an almost torturous existence before he noticed your eyelids drooping as you sleepily accepted the Ares girl’s shot glass. And finally, finally, he had an excuse to get out of this hellhole.

He walked over, dodging campers all around, before he approached, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, y/n,” he said softly, “I think we should get outta here. You seem kinda tired and so am I.”

“How did you know that?!” You asked incredulously, spinning around to him in shock.

“That you were tired?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh,” he chuckled awkwardly, “your eyes are all droopy, it’s kinda obvious.”

“Huh. Well, y’know what, I kinda agree. Let’s go.” You shrugged, waving to the Ares girl as you walked with him. You linked arms and he tried to act normal. You two never shared this much casual contact.

“What’s her name?” Luke asked, focusing on his surroundings, as you walked out the door.

“I have no idea,” you replied cheerily, breaking from him and taking a leap off the step. It didn’t end well, with you tripping and falling in a heap on the damp and cold grass.

“Are you ok?” He asked, knelt over you and concerned. You giggled, nodding and accepting his hand as it pulled you up.

“Ok, just- let me- hold onto me, ok?” He said, looping an arm around your shoulder to keep you steady. He held on as you laughed like a little girl and clung to his t-shirt all the way to your cabin.

The stars were nice tonight. For once, you could see them, like billions of shimmering white dots in the skies and it really added to the peace of the scenery. The air was cooler, there were no people, and it was so much quieter. More serene. He felt as if he could breathe. He glanced at the stars once more as he led you up the stairs to your door, before dropping your hand. Or trying to. You didn’t let go.

“Good night,” he whispered, giving your hand a squeeze and trying again.

Your grip wouldn’t loosen.

“Luke,” you murmured breathlessly, stepping forward, bringing your joined hands to your chest. He could feel your breath, warmth, pulse. Fast. Like his. “Why are you….”

“What?”

You looked as if you were going to say more, but couldn’t find the words, instead stepping even closer, and he could feel your joined hands compressed between your two chests. His chest was still, his breathing completely halted as your eyes observed him delicately, his eyes, nose, scar, jawline, cheeks, mouth, as if he was a priceless painting.

You met him once again.

It was softer this time. Your lips still moved in sync, but it was sweeter, calmer. If the other kiss had been caramel, this was smooth, gorgeous honey. As if you had all the time in the world to dazzle him with your smooth kisses. You probably did. Your hands were slower as well, leaving warm trails all over as they made their way down his back, over his sides and under his shirt, where your fingers traced the hard contours of his chest. He had to restrain the urge to shiver violently at your touch.

You pulled away a fraction, warm breath hitting his lips. “Come inside. Stay over.” You panted against them.

He wanted to. Tiptoeing in with a smile on his face and crawling into your bed, with you beside him? His dream. Being tangled in your bedsheets, waking up with every limb of yours and his twisted together, and your hair splayed over his chest? His Elysium.

But you were drunk, deeply drunk. And if he was ever lucky enough to experience any of that, he wanted to have the real event, where alcohol didn’t influence your willingness. He wanted you to be sober.

“I can’t.” He withdrew from you, out of reach. “You’re drunk and I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I’m your best friend, you don’t like me that way. You’re just drunk.”

“Yeah. Like super drunk.” You affirmed, nodding enthusiastically. “But that doesn’t change anything. I like you sooo much-“

No. Luke wouldn’t hear this. After liking - maybe even loving - you for this long, your drunk, confused notions would hurt him too much. He refused to listen.

“C’mon let’s get you to bed so your hangovers not too bad.” He interrupted, taking your arm and leading you into the cabin. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Needless to say, you would never talk about it again if it was up to him.

He left quickly, once you were tucked in, before you could give him a response, with a hurried ‘goodnight’.

Once he was tucked comfortably in his own bunk in cabin 11, he pondered the night’s events. A whole lot of drinking. Stupid games. Not one, but two kisses. Even if they meant… nothing. They were nice either way, and probably the only two he would ever get from you.

————————————————-

The next day, he admitted, was a disaster on his behalf.

He’d had a strong plan to pretend nothing had ever happened. And then while he was getting dressed, four of his siblings wolf-whistled and smirked when they saw him. Clearly not something everyone had forgotten.

And when he saw you at breakfast, wincing slightly and looking drowsy, the moment your eyes had flashed to his, all he could think about were the kisses. He couldn’t see straight, and stumbled while he grasped his breakfast tray, and before he knew it, he hadn’t even said hello to you.

The avoidance gradually increased. After breakfast, he steered clear of you, going straight to his class with younger demigods. He didn’t make an effort to accompany an injured camper to visit you, instead sending one of their friends with them. And during lunch, where he’d usually visit you at the infirmary and bring food, he stayed at Hermes table, with nervous feet rooted to the floor.

He could tell by dinner, you were confused, hurt even, from the glances you were sending to him. And he wanted to go over, make it up to you by sitting beside you and telling you one of the Stoll’s latest schemes, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. It was like he was a shy toddler all over again, clinging to his mother’s leg, and he was so embarrassed for it.

That night, he swore the next day he would be better about everything. Be honest, available and just see how things would go from there. You guys had been through anything. Surely you couldn’t let each other down for this.

He woke early, with a clear mind and went to retrieve breakfast for him and you. Finding you in the infirmary, rolling bandages, he took a deep inhale before stepping in, ready.

“Hey,” he greeted, cringing a little at himself as you dropped the bandage in surprise, and watching as it rolled all over the umber planks in white streaks.

“Oh, uh, hey,” you replied, scrambling to pick it up and sending him a distracted smile. Not the greatest start, but he could improve.

“Sorry I haven’t been around. Been busy, around the place with new campers, y’know,” he lied, feeling guilty, “funny, haven’t actually seen you since we-“

“Hung out at the party?” You interrupted, nodding.

What? Hanging out? Just hanging out did not qualify ignoring him till the party was over and then two kisses and an almost-confession.

Unless you didn’t want to acknowledge the truth. Apparently, this was the case.

“…. Yeah.” He hesitantly agreed, searching your eyes for any signs you might want to take back what you said.

You wouldn’t even meet them.

“Anyway,” he placed the plate down on the bench, faking a smile, “here’s breakfast. Have a great day.”

And as he walked out, disappointed that you had let him down, he couldn’t help but wonder how things would’ve turned out differently if you had been sober.

How he wished you had been sober.

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nastasya--filippovna · 3 months ago

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Crush Culture; Conan Gray x Beatrice and Benedick (Much Ado About Nothing 2011)

For me these two will always be ace icons. Thank you Shakespeare for writing Ace characters that can and do fall in love.

There's this general misunderstanding that just 'cause you're Ace ergo you're also Aro. Aro and Ace are two separate identities. Some people on the spectrum identify a both Aro and ace hence they're Aroace (simple really!)

And I think that's the same misunderstanding these two have internalized. They've been told that just because you don't like someone "like that" also means that you are not capable of loving.... that love is just "not for you".

So here's to all the Ace people who have those who will find their love, their soulmate, and whoever matches their freak. I love you all!

Lovely moots: @a-singing-lunatic @shadesofecclescakes @suburbia-and-brentwood-market @glitterypin @angie-words

@davidtennantgenderenvy @dreamsfrozenincandyland @turtleneck-crowley @dtmsrpfcringe @princeloww

@consanguinitatum @mystic-mae @cranberry-sniffer

It would mean so much to my pathetic low self-esteem ass if you checked out my edit!! Lots of love 😘

#disclaimer you need not subscribe to this view. This is just my personal opinion on the characters & hey don't we all like to be represented #so don't @ me #beatrice x benedick #beatrice #benedick #much ado about nothing #david tennant #catherine tate #shakespeare #good omens #shakespeare humour #william shakespeare #conan gray #crush culture #asexuality #asexual #ace #my edits #my edit

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alyrasturnz · 5 months ago

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i've only been seeing taylor and matt reqs so can u make a "wish u were sober" conan gray fic for chris? and a face reveal if u must 😏

WISH YOU WERE SOBER {{ chris sturniolo }}

summary — in a haze of intoxication, y/n gathered the courage to divulge her amorous feeling to chris. However, Chris, perceiving her proclamation as mere intoxicated rambling, dismissed her heartfelt confession, convinced that her words lacked genuine intent.

warnings :: mentions of alcohol

a/n ,, i literally just started writing on tumblr 😭 but i guess i could do a face reveal when i hit 100 followers? idk i dont really care

chris mutters under his breath, "this party is shit," his voice barely audible amidst the cacophony of forced laughter and clinking glasses.

the music thundered through the speakers, each beat resonating like a distant storm, while the kaleidoscope of lights assaulted his vision, rendering him momentarily blind.

chris' gaze averted to your figure, swaying rhythmically to the pulsating beat of the music, with a guy pressed intimately against your body.

chris rolls his eyes, sinking into the couch as he plops down, the cushions enveloping him like a weary traveler finding solace in a long-forgotten haven.

chris’ eyes wandered around the room, eventually settling on matt, who was engaged in an animated conversation with a girl, their interaction punctuated by laughter and subtle gestures.

nick had just left the vicinity ten minutes ago, disappearing into an unknown room with a random guy, their departure shrouded in an air of mystery.

and you were entwined with a guy, downing multiple cups as if they were elixirs of oblivion.

thus, it was solely him who remained untouched by the revelry, an island of solitude amidst a sea of merriment.

"hey," a disembodied voice intoned, its origin obscured as it looked down upon him.

chris lifted his gaze to meet the girl who was addressing him. she was blonde, with makeup smeared across her face, and she wore a short dress that hinted at the night's revelries.

"hey," chris mumbled, his voice a hollow echo, devoid of any emotion.

the blonde settled beside him, crossing her legs with a fluid grace as she leaned into him, her presence a whisper of intimacy amidst the chaos.

"what's your name?" she smirked, her breath heavy with the pungent scent of alcohol.

chris closed his eyes tightly. "chris," he muttered, his voice barely a whisper.

"i'm natalie," she purred, her finger trailing a languid path across his chest, provoking a shiver that coursed through him—a shiver not of pleasure, but of a disquieting unease.

"alright, natalie!" chris said hastily, rising to his feet and looking down at her with a strained smile. "it's been... interesting, but i gotta bounce." he nodded awkwardly before turning on his heel and walking away, his steps quickening with each stride.

he made his way towards matt, who was still engrossed in conversation with a girl, their animated exchange punctuated by laughter and gestures.

"matt, can we ditch?" chris implored, his voice laced with a note of desperation.

matt regarded him with furrowed eyebrows, a look of irritation crossing his face. "no," he responded curtly, before taking hold of the girl's wrist and leading her away with a determined stride.

chris let out an audible groan, his frustration palpable, as he trudged towards the front door, pausing momentarily as if weighed down by an invisible burden.

a guy had a girl pressed firmly against the door, their tongues entwined in a fervent embrace, as chris grimaced, his discomfort evident.

chris shook his head in dismay, turning away and making his way to a nearby window, his steps aimless and his thoughts scattered.

he muttered a curse under his breath, swiftly unlatching the window and slipping out with an urgency that spoke of both desperation and determination.

"chris!" nick called out from the drink table, his voice cutting through the din, as an unfamiliar man stood beside him, their presence a stark contrast to the chaotic surroundings.

"gotta bounce!" chris yelled back with a chuckle, his laughter mingling with the ambient noise as he turned and walked away, his steps light but purposeful, leaving behind the murmurs of the gathering.

"this is definitely not my crowd," chris mumbled under his breath, his words barely audible as he distanced himself further from the throng, each step a silent testament to his growing discomfort.

"chris!" a slurred voice yelled, one that he knew all too well, its familiar timbre cutting through the haze of noise with an unsettling clarity.

chris’ eyes lit up with a sudden spark as he turned around, the flicker of recognition dancing in his gaze.

"hey, y/n," chris murmured, a soft smile playing on his lips, his voice carrying a gentle warmth that contrasted with the surrounding chaos.

you stumbled towards him, the empty cup in your hands oscillating precariously, each step an elaborate choreography of instability and resolve, as though the very earth beneath you schemed to undermine your advance.

"god, i despise this party," she slurred, her words heavy and muddled, as she tripped slightly, collapsing into chris' arms with a graceless thud.

"it doesn't appear so. you seemed like you were having the time of your life in there," chris chuckled softly, his voice a gentle murmur as he steadied her.

"appearances can be quite deceptive," you winked, your words slurring slightly as chris scoffed playfully, a bemused grin spreading across his face.

"you talk pretty fucking proud for someone with weak knees," chris jested, as you rolled your eyes in exasperation.

"whatever. i loathe this place," you murmured softly. "take me somewhere that isn't too loud."

chris chuckled, a resonant sound that seemed to echo in the air. "alright then," he said, extending his hand towards you, "let’s go,"

you clung onto his arm, entwining your arms around his robust limb, seeking comfort in his steadfast presence.

you would consistently engage in playful and flirtatious behavior towards him, allowing your interactions to be tinged with a subtle yet undeniable allure, all the while steadfastly asserting that your relationship remained within the bounds of mere friendship.

and with each instance, it rends his soul anew, leaving an indelible mark upon his heart.

as much as he reveled in the intoxicating sensation of being the center of your affection, basking in the warmth of feeling like your most cherished person, he simultaneously harbored a profound aversion to it, a dichotomy that gnawed at his very core.

the days when he yearns to envelop you in his embrace and shower your face with tender kisses are precisely the days when he is acutely aware that such gestures lie beyond the realm of friendship, a boundary he must not cross.

his mind was a tempest of conflicting thoughts, a maelstrom of emotions that swirled with relentless intensity.

he was ensnared by the profound depths of his love for you, a love so deep it seemed to anchor his very soul.

yet, the specter of rejection loomed large, casting a shadow over his heart and shackling his desires with chains of fear.

your flirtatious behavior ensnared him in a perpetual state of bewilderment, an intricate dance of uncertainty that left him perpetually adrift.

each playful remark, each lingering glance, ignited a tempest within his heart, a maelstrom of hope and doubt that warred incessantly.

he found himself incessantly replaying every conversation in his mind, scrutinizing each word and gesture with the fervor of a scholar poring over ancient texts, searching for hidden meanings that might reveal the true nature of your affections.

he yearned to lay bare the depths of his heart, yet the dread of unrequited affection paralyzed him.

the tormenting possibility that he might have misinterpreted your signals gnawed at his soul. what if your flirtations were mere gestures of camaraderie, devoid of the deeper sentiments he so desperately hoped for?

this relentless uncertainty wove a storm within him, a tumultuous sea of emotions that he struggled to navigate, leaving him adrift in a vast expanse of doubt and longing.

each step he took was imbued with the haunting echoes of your laughter and the radiant warmth of your smiles, rendering the solitude of the night an even more oppressive burden.

your presence was a soothing balm to his weary soul, yet the silence that stretched between you was a vast chasm he dared not traverse.

the fleeting touch of your hand, a mere brush against his own, lingered in his thoughts like an indelible mark, a sensation that persisted long after, weaving itself into the fabric of his yearning.

chris’s heart ached under the crushing weight of his unspoken love. he yearned for the day he could unveil his true feelings to you, but for now, he wandered, ensnared in the labyrinth of his own emotions.

the moonlight cast elongated shadows upon the path ahead, mirroring the profound shadows within his heart.

he pondered if you ever thought of him with the same intensity that consumed his thoughts of you, if you ever felt the same longing that kept him restless through the stillness of the night.

with each passing day, the desire to bridge the chasm between you grew ever more insistent. yet, the paralyzing fear of losing the fragile connection he cherished with you kept his lips sealed.

he treasured the moments you shared, ephemeral and tinged with uncertainty though they were.

for now, he would continue to tread this solitary path, nurturing the hope that one day, the courage to unveil his heart would find him, and the silence would be broken by the truth of his feelings.

»--•--«

the moment you crossed the threshold of your home, an overwhelming sense of relief washed over you.

without a second thought, you dashed toward the couch, your sanctuary, and let yourself collapse into its embrace, surrendering to the comfort it offered.

chris sighed, a heavy exhale of weariness escaping his lips, as he gently closed the door behind him.

with deliberate steps, he approached you, his eyes reflecting a mix of concern and tenderness.

in one fluid motion, he scooped you up into his arms, cradling you in a bridal style embrace.

each step he took towards your room was measured and careful, as if he were carrying the most precious of treasures, ensuring your comfort and safety above all else.

chris gently places you on your bed, his movements meticulous and deliberate, as if handling something fragile and precious. he strides over to your closet, his fingers grazing the fabric of various garments, feeling the textures and weights of each piece.

after a moment of contemplation, he selects a few pieces of comfortable attire, ones he knows will wrap you in warmth and ease.

with a soft smile, he returns to your side, his eyes filled with a profound understanding and a silent promise of care.

he hands the clothes to you, his touch lingering for a moment, conveying a depth of emotion that words alone could not express.

he pivoted gracefully, his back now facing you, a silent gesture that conveyed his intent to grant you privacy.

the subtle shift in his posture, the way his shoulders relaxed, all spoke of a deep understanding and respect for your need for a moment of solitude.

without uttering a word, he ensured that his gaze would not intrude, offering you a sanctuary of personal space.

you exchanged your attire for something more comfortable, the soft fabric a welcome contrast against your skin.

as you settled back onto your bed, the cushions seemed to embrace you, offering a sanctuary of warmth and ease.

the act of changing clothes, though simple, felt like shedding the weight of the day, allowing you to sink into the comforting embrace of your bed with a sense of relief and tranquility.

chris pivoted with a fluid grace, his movements deliberate and assured.

he approached your vanity, his fingers deftly locating the makeup wipes amidst the array of beauty products.

the soft rustle of the packaging as he retrieved them added a subtle, almost ritualistic quality to the moment, underscoring his attentiveness and care.

"sit up," he whispers, his voice a gentle murmur that barely disturbs the stillness of the room. obediently, you rise, your eyes remaining closed, trusting him implicitly.

you hear the faint rustle as he extracts a sheet of wipes, the sound mingling with the quiet intimacy of the moment.

with a tenderness that speaks volumes, he begins to remove your makeup, his touch feather-light and meticulous.

each stroke of the wipe feels like a caress, as if he is not just cleansing your skin, but also erasing the weariness of the day.

the action is intimate, almost sacred, a silent testament to his care and devotion. the gentle pressure of his fingers, the cool sensation of the wipe gliding over your skin, all combine to create a moment of profound connection.

as he works, you can feel the layers of the day being lifted away, leaving behind a sense of purity and renewal.

the act, though simple, is imbued with a depth of emotion, transforming it into a gesture of profound love and respect.

you slowly flutter your eyes open, the world gradually coming into focus, and find yourself gazing deeply into his eyes.

they are windows to a soul filled with unspoken emotions, a silent dialogue unfolding between you.

the intensity of his gaze holds you captive, as if the very essence of his being is pouring into yours, creating an unbreakable bond that transcends mere words.

chris notices your gaze and a soft blush tinges his cheeks, a subtle bloom of color that speaks of vulnerability and affection.

"hi," he murmurs, his voice a gentle whisper that carries a world of unspoken sentiment. a tender smile graces his lips as he reaches for another wipe, his movements careful and deliberate.

with each stroke, he meticulously cleanses your face, his touch imbued with a delicate reverence, as if he is cherishing each moment of this intimate ritual.

without a moment's hesitation, you leaned in, your actions guided by an instinctive pull, and kissed him.

your lips brushed against his with the gentleness of a whisper, a fleeting yet profound connection that spoke volumes in its simplicity.

the kiss was a tender communion, a silent exchange of emotions that transcended words, leaving a lingering warmth in its wake.

the taste of alcohol danced on your lips, a heady mixture that seeped into the kiss, infusing it with a sense of intoxicating abandon.

as his heart surged, a swell of emotion that threatened to overwhelm, he gently pulled away, the moment hanging in the air like a delicate thread, shimmering with unspoken possibilities.

you gazed at him with furrowed eyebrows, a tapestry of confusion and concern woven into your expression, as he shook his head.

his gesture was slow, deliberate, a silent negation that carried the weight of unspoken words, leaving a lingering sense of mystery and unease in its wake.

"real sweet, but i wish you were sober," his voice a soft murmur, each word a gentle caress that carried an undercurrent of longing and regret. the subtle intonation of his voice wrapped around you like a tender embrace, leaving a bittersweet echo in the stillness.

your eyes widened, a silent testament to the flood of emotions surging within you. words began tumbling over each other in a drunk confession of love, a cascade of unfiltered feelings pouring from your lips.

each syllable was imbued with raw vulnerability, creating a tapestry of heartfelt declarations that seemed to hang in the air, shimmering with the intensity of your emotions.

"i’ve loved you for so long, chris!" you exclaimed, your voice trembling with the weight of unspoken emotions. "every moment we spend together, i feel it more and more. you mean everything to me." the words, laden with years of hidden affection, spilled forth like a river breaking through a dam, each one carrying the depth of your devotion and the intensity of your longing.

yet as he listened, a shadow of doubt clouded his mind.

he wanted to believe you, to accept your words as truth, but the haze of alcohol made him question the sincerity of your confession.

each word you spoke seemed to waver in the air, distorted by the fog of intoxication, leaving him torn between the desire to trust and the fear of being deceived.

"i don't know if i can trust what you're saying right now," he replied, his voice heavy with uncertainty. each word seemed to carry the weight of a thousand doubts, a palpable hesitation that echoed through the room, amplifying the fragile tension between belief and skepticism.

you reached out, your hand trembling as it made contact with his arm.

the slight quiver in your touch conveyed a silent plea, a desperate attempt to bridge the chasm of doubt that had formed between you.

"please believe me," you pleaded, "this isn't just the alcohol talking. i've felt this way for so long, and i can't keep it inside any longer." your voice, tinged with desperation, wove through the air like a fragile thread, seeking to bind your heartfelt confession to his wavering trust.

"you're drunk," he said, bringing his hand up to your face. with a gentle yet firm motion, he wiped away the makeup with the wipes, each stroke revealing the raw vulnerability beneath, as if attempting to strip away the layers of doubt and uncover the truth hidden within your eyes.

he longed to believe you, but the doubt gnawed at him, leaving him torn between hope and skepticism. "let's talk about this when you're sober," he said softly, his voice a whisper of concern, hoping that clarity would come with the morning light and dispel the shadows of uncertainty that clouded his mind.

»--•--«

the morning light, delicate and golden, wove its way through the curtains, casting an ethereal glow that danced gracefully across the room, bathing it in a soft, almost otherworldly luminescence.

you awoke to the relentless throb of a pounding headache, the lingering echoes of last night's indulgences asserting their unwelcome presence, each pulse a stark reminder of the revelry that had transpired.

you glanced around, your gaze eventually settling on chris, who sat quietly at the edge of the bed, his presence a silent sentinel in the morning's stillness.

his expression was an intricate tapestry of concern and anticipation, each emotion subtly interwoven, creating a complex portrait of his inner turmoil.

"oh my god, did we... did we fuck?" you blurted out, your mind shrouded in a foggy haze, the words tumbling from your lips in a raw mixture of confusion and urgency.

chris' eyes widened in surprise, a flicker of shock dancing in their depths. "what? no!" he replied, shaking his head emphatically. "you don't remember anything that happened last night?"

you squinted, your mind laboriously sifting through the blurry fragments of the evening, attempting to weave them into a coherent tapestry of memory.

"ummm, wait, let me think," you murmured, rubbing your temples in a futile attempt to coax clarity from the tangled threads of your thoughts.

slowly, the memories began to surface, each fragment emerging from the depths of your mind, causing your eyes to widen in dawning realization.

you looked up at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, the gravity of the moment sinking in as he nodded, a silent confirmation of your worst nightmare.

"oh god," you mumbled, burying your face into your palms as a wave of embarrassment washed over you, engulfing your senses and leaving you feeling utterly exposed.

chris’ gaze softened. “yeah,” he said softly, before crawling up to you and gently taking your hands in his. “but it’s okay. you were drunk and weren’t thinking. I know you didn’t mean it.”

your heart raced as you processed his words. "except i did mean it!" you exclaimed, your voice trembling with the weight of your confession.

you took a deep breath, feeling a turbulent mix of fear and determination swirling within you. “fuck- i meant every single word! i was drunk and i wasn't thinking, but i did mean it! i meant every word. i love the way you always listen to me, how you make me laugh even on my worst days, how you care so deeply about the people around you. i love the way you always know how to make me feel better, even when i don't want to admit that i need it. i love your smile, the way it lights up a room and makes everything seem okay, even when it's not. i love your eyes, how they see right through me and make me feel like i'm the only person in the world. i love the way you touch me, so gentle and yet so full of passion. i love the way you make me feel safe, like nothing can hurt me as long as i'm with you. i love the way you challenge me, push me to be better, to be more. i love every little thing about you, even the things that drive me crazy.

i love how you remember the smallest details about me, things that even i forget. i love how you always know what i need, even before i do. i love the way you support my dreams, no matter how crazy they might seem. i love the way you make me feel like i'm enough, just as i am. i love the way you hold me when i'm falling apart, how you never let go even when things get tough. i love the way you laugh, that deep, infectious sound that makes everything seem brighter. i love the way you look at me, like i'm the most important person in the world. i love the way you hug me, so tender and yet so passionate. i love the way you make me feel alive, like i'm living for the first time. i love the way you make me want to be a better person, to be worthy of your love.

i love the way you understand me, even when i don't understand myself. i love the way you never judge me, no matter how many mistakes i make. i love the way you believe in me, even when i don't believe in myself. i love the way you make me feel like i can do anything, as long as i'm with you. i love the way you inspire me, to be more, to do more. i love the way you make me feel like i'm home, no matter where we are. i love the way you make me feel like i'm part of something bigger, something beautiful. i love the way you make me feel like i'm not alone, like i have someone who will always be there for me. i love the way you make me feel like i'm loved, truly and deeply loved. i love you, chris. and i can't keep pretending that i don't because—“

before you could finish, chris leaned in and pressed his lips against yours, silencing your words.

the kiss was gentle yet imbued with a profound depth of emotion that made your heart soar, as though every unspoken sentiment was conveyed in that fleeting moment.

it was a tender embrace, layered with unspoken promises and hidden desires, leaving you breathless and overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the connection you shared.

slowly, chris pulled away, his lips lingering for a moment as if reluctant to part, leaving behind a whisper of warmth that lingered on your skin.

"you have no idea how long i've waited to hear those words from you. every day, i hoped that you felt the same way, but i was too scared to ask, too scared to ruin what we have. but hearing you say all that... it feels like a dream." his eyes met with yours with a newfound intensity, a silent storm of emotions swirling within them, revealing depths of unspoken thoughts and feelings that seemed to bridge the space between your souls.

he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "i love you too. i love the way you light up a room with your presence, how your laughter is like music to my ears. i love your kindness, how you always put others before yourself. i love your strength, how you face every challenge with such courage and grace. i love the way you see the world, with such wonder and curiosity. i love the way you make me feel, like i'm the luckiest person alive just to know you."

"i love the way you challenge me, push me to be better, to see things from new perspectives. i love the way you care so deeply, how you pour your heart into everything you do. i love the way you listen, really listen, and make me feel heard and understood. i love the way you make me laugh, even when i'm having the worst day. i love the way you dream, so big and so fearlessly. i love the way you live, with such passion and joy."

"i love every little thing about you, even the things that drive me crazy. i love the way you make me feel like i'm home, no matter where we are. i love the way you make me feel like i'm part of something bigger, something beautiful. i love the way you make me feel like i'm not alone, like i have someone who will always be there for me. i love the way you make me feel like i'm loved, truly and deeply loved. and i can't believe that you feel the same way about me."

"i love you, and i want to be with you. i want to face every challenge, every joy, every moment with you. i want to build a life with you, to share my dreams with you, to grow old with you. i want to love you, every day, for the rest of my life."

you immediately cupped his face as you connected your lips once more, and in that moment, the room seemed to hold its breath.

the future, shrouded in a veil of uncertainty, was nonetheless illuminated by the promise of unvarnished honesty and the tantalizing possibility of something profoundly deeper.

it was as though the very air around you thickened with anticipation, each second stretching into an eternity, as a bond forged in the silent exchange of shared emotions began to take root, hinting at a tapestry of experiences yet to be woven.

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elliesbelle · 8 months ago

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the heartbreak trilogy

masterlist

synopsis: if only your childhood best friend, ellie williams, knew how much you liked her. seeing her fall for a new girl made it clear that you had to go. the consequences leave you eviscerated.

pairing: modern au ellie x reader

word count (work in progress): 15.7k

minors don’t interact

i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the spotify playlist:

chapter 1

synopsis: if only your childhood best friend, ellie williams, knew how much you love like her. but her new girlfriend, heather, has got her mesmerized. and it leaves you brokenhearted.

content warnings: cursing, angst, unrequited love, no comfort

based on the conan gray song "heather"

chapter 2

synopsis: you completely cut ellie out of your life, and it has been months since you decided you had to go. but it's not over for ellie, and it all hits you in her car.

content warnings: cursing, angst, unresolved feelings, cheating, reader has a vagina, SMUT, dom!ellie, sub!reader (dom!reader for two seconds), cunnilingus, fingering, slight spit kink (sorry lol), strap eating (kind of), strap-on use, slight hair pulling, breeding kink, no comfort

based on the lizzy mcalpine song "ceilings"

featuring a duet of "ceilings" by lizzy mcalpine and ellie williams

let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist or if you'd asked previously and i missed you! otherwise, follow @belleloves and turn your notifications on to be notified when the newest chapter comes out! and please have your age in your bio if you want to be added to the taglist!

more coming soon! ♥︎

#the heartbreak trilogy #the heartbreak trilogy masterlist #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #ellie williams series #bff!ellie x reader #the last of us #tlou #the last of us part 2 #tlou2 #ellie fanfiction #Spotify #audio #lizzy mcalpine #conan gray #belle speaks

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stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling · 2 months ago

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rip regulus black you would have loved yours by conan gray

#anas ramblings #marauders era #the marauders #marauders #regulus black #james x regulus #jegulus #james potter #ana rambles on and on (like a never ending song) about conan gray #sunseeker #starchaser #dead gay wizards from the 70s #dead gay wizards #rip () you would have loved ()

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sweeterthansucrose · 1 year ago

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Gay people can't flirt properly. It's always something like:

'Punch me in the face.'

'Punch you?'

'Yes, punch me, in the face, didn't you hear me?'

#i am sherlocked #sherlock holmes #bbc sherlock #sherlock bbc #sherlock #johnlock #sherlock x john #They're gay: I'm Sherlock's scarf and I confirm it #punch me in the face #seriously though #like the lgbtq community needs help with theie flirting #we either a) end up talking about some nonsense #b) gush about girl in red/conan gray/cavetown etc.#or c) gay panic aka uhh I mean I uh you um #bi john #gay ace sherlock #they're gay your honor #you know what?#I would avoid his nose and teeth too

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spencerreidswhore187 · 1 year ago

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Checkmate (Part Two)

By @spencerreidswhore187 for @sackofpissandshit

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Summary: Spencer finds out that reader is not who he thought they were. (Lots of angst)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Unsub (g!n) Reader

Word Count: 1.4K

TW: Death, seizures, hemlock poisoning, hospitals and a brief mention of suicide.

A/N: Hi! Thank you to everyone who liked, commented, reblogged and followed Checkmate (Part one), it means the world to me. Sorry it’s taken a couple of days to upload - I’ve been working so many shifts ugh - anyway, I wrote this on the bus and did not proof read, I hope you enjoy.

You’d always mocked Romeo for being so rash but, as you stood hyperventilating over Spencer’s body, your first instinct was to drink the rest of the poison from the tiny vial in your pocket.

You were in shock. You needed to snap out of it. He’d not ingested enough to kill him instantly; you had a only few minutes to save him.

You collapsed onto your knees and checked Spencer’s pulse - it was weak. But still there. He’s alive, you reminded yourself. Alive. Alive. Alive.

If you were thinking rationally, you’d have left the building. Maybe tip somebody off so that they could find Spencer. If you were thinking rationally, you’d have recalled that Ben would kill you if you saved Spencer’s life. But none of that mattered, not when the only person you cared about was seizing in front of you.

You forced yourself off your feet and attempted to wipe away the tears streaming down your cheeks. What have I done, you chided yourself.

Running to the bedside table, you grabbed the landline telephone and dialled ‘911’.

The automated voice startled you, “Ambulance, fire or police?”

“Ambulance,” you whispered into the receiver.

Your malicious, manipulative, mastermind facade had dropped. You were hardly recognisable as the person you were moments ago. You didn’t know what you’d do if Spencer, your spence, was not okay.

“Hello?” A deep male voice echoed through the receiver.

“I-Help me. Help please,” you begged frantically.

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Um…Y/N Reid.” You couldn’t breathe. You’d placed a pillow under Spencer’s head and you’d pulled him towards your lap. His body wouldn’t stop shaking.

“Okay, Y/N. Listen to my voice and take a deep breathe…that’s it. I need you to calm down and tell me what’s happening,” the first responder asked.

“My…my boyfriend he’s been poisoned. And he’s seizing. Oh my god, please help, he won’t…he won’t stop seizing,” you choked back a sob.

“Can you tell me where you are? Help is on the way.”

“[your address]. I-hurry. Please hurry. He’s an agent. An FBI agent.” It hurt to remind yourself of his job, that he’d lied to you. But that didn’t matter, not now.

You heard a phone dialling in the background.

“Y/N, can you tell me your boyfriend’s name.”

“Spencer Reid. D-Dr Spencer Reid from the Behaviour Analysis Unit in um Quantico.”

“An ambulance is almost with you. Y/N, he’s going to be okay. Is he still seizing?”

You whispered, “no.”

“Can you check his pulse for me?”

You did what he asked, it was painfully slow.

“Do you know what substance he ingested?”

“It was-”

There was a sharp knock at the door followed by heavy footsteps running up the stairs.

You hung up the phone as the paramedics rushed to Spencer’s collapsed form.

Everything was a blur. You were barely aware of what was happening.

You watched their lips move as they shouted questions at you that you barely heard. You watched them start chest compressions on Spencer. You frantically chewed at your nails as they placed him on a stretcher and carried him out of your house.

You remembered when you’d bought it. Spencer had held your hand as you explored the empty rooms. He’d hugged you from behind, wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to his favourite spot - where your neck me your shoulder. As both of you examined the rooms he rambled random facts about windows and the wall fixings. You loved it when he rambled. You would stare in awe as he counted off numerous statistics.

You’d eaten Chinese take out on the living room floor after you’d bought it. The furniture hadn’t arrived yet. You stayed up all night talking, kissing among other things. You were both so happy then. You’d thought you had escaped Ben, escaped that lifestyle after years of doing whatever he told you.

That blissful dream ended thirteen months ago.

You followed the two paramedics to the ambulance, about to follow them in when you felt a cold hand on your shoulder that instantly snapped you back to reality.

You turned to face the tall blonde woman behind you. You recognised her from a picture on Spencer’s phone. JJ, you thought her name was. Her children were Spencer’s godsons. Or maybe he’d lied about that too.

Luke Alvez, who Spencer had briefly introduced you to in a coffee shop several weeks ago, placed handcuffs around your wrists as JJ read your rights, “Y/N L/N you are under arrest for the twenty four counts of first degree murder as well as the attempted murder of FBI agent Dr Spencer Reid.”

As the world collapsed around you, you watched the ambulance drive away - sirens flashing through the melancholy city.

——————————————————————————

It was Penelope who’d gotten the call. She’d dropped her pink octopus mug when she was told that “Dr Spencer Reid had been poisoned and was on his way to the hospital.”

The rest of the team had been waiting anxiously at the round table. Spencer had insisted on going after you alone, Emily and JJ had protested but Rossi and Tara had agreed with Reid. You were dangerous. Deadly, even. They needed the element of surprise and that was something they’d only achieve if he followed his usual routine and went home to you alone.

It broke Penelope’s heart to see him like that. Spencer had looked exhausted and so broken. She wanted to give him a hug but she observes the way he flinched away anytime someone tried to touch him or offer comfort.

Penelope ran out of her office to the others.

It was Rossi who spoke first, “Garcia what’s wrong?” He asked, observing her dishevelled state as Penelope stood shaking in the doorway, “what happened?”

JJ spoke next, “is Reid okay?”

“I-no. No he’s not.” The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

“Penelope…” said Emily.

“A 911 call just came through from his house. He’s been poisoned, an ambulance is on it’s way. Reid…Spencer,” She inhaled sharply, “is unconscious.”

“Then who made the-”

Luke finally spoke up, “Y/N. It was Y/N.”

“But why would they call for help after trying to kill him?” Asked Tara.

No one spoke for what felt like minutes.

Emily finally answered, “it’s doesn’t matter. We need to get to that house now. Lewis, Rossi, you’re with me. JJ, you go with Alvez.”

“What about me?” Penelope questioned weakly, “I can’t…I can’t just stay here and do nothing, waiting for a call.”

“Go to the hospital, we’ll meet you there as soon as possible.”

Penelope nodded, relieved.

As they left the room, Luke hugged Penelope, “he’ll be okay, Garcia. I promise. They wont get away with this.”

——————————————————————————

When he awoke, the first thing he smelt was jello. He loved jello.

“Can I have some of that…please,” Spencer implored.

It was quickly followed by a squeal as Penelope through her arms around him.

“Spencer, you’re okay! Thank god you’re okay. I was so scared. We all were.”

Slowly he began to notice the beeping machines around them and the dull throbbing in the back of his head. He winced.

“Do you want me to get the doctor? I should tell her that you’re awake and-”

Spencer interrupted her rambling, “what happened?”

“You were given a near lethal dose of hemlock.”

Shit. He cursed to himself, remembering something he had read.

“Conium maculatum, colloquially known as hemlock, poison hemlock or wild hemlock, is a highly poisonous biennial herbaceous flowering plant…how did I…”

“Y/N,” Garcia whispered, staring at the hospital room floor.

The memories all came flooding back to him then. The truth of who you really were, the things - the illegal things - you had done. He Spencer recalled all the lies. It hurt more than his body did.

He fought tears. He would not cry over you, Spencer refused.

“Did you find them?”

He was surprised to hear answer “yes.”

“What? But if poisoning me was their escape plan, how did you find them so quickly? How long have I been unconscious?”

None of this made sense.

“Y/N, well, they made the call Spencer. They stayed with you the whole time. JJ and Luke arrested them when they were following you into the ambulance. They’ve been in an interrogation room for three days, Rossi and Tara are with them…you’ve been unconscious for three day.”

Spencer was going to be sick.

Emily, JJ and Alvez rushed into the room.

“You’re alive,” they gushed, “you’re okay!”

Spencer wasn’t listening. He didn’t care.

He stared at Emily who almost immediately understood what he was about to ask.

“No, Reid. Absolutely not.”

“I need to see them. I need you to take me to Y/N.”

A/N: Thank you for reading! Part three will be uploaded in the coming days ◡̈

————————————————————————————————————————

If you would like to be added to the tag list comment or message me.

Taglist: @sackofpissandshit @ara-a-bird @princess-ofthe-pages @catsinaspacesuit

#criminal minds #spencer reid #mathew gray gubler #mgg #criminal minds evolution #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #unsub reader #checkmate #conan gray #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #luke alvez #tara lewis #dave rossi #criminal minds fanfiction

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adharalikethestar · 4 months ago

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i found another one!!!

okay, i’ve decided i might make a bit of a series out of this, i’m not sure yet, if i do this would be part 3 i think

our next song is also by the wonderful Conan Gray,

‘Memories’

now i think this is about as starchaser/sunseeker coded you can get,

“i promise that the ending always stays the same

so there’s no good reason in make-believing

that we could ever exist again

i can’t be your friend, i can’t be your lover

can’t be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love

with somebody other than me”

just think about that, but it’s regulus about james and lily, especially if you think about more ‘canon-compliant’ story’s, (though i use that in lose terms)

now excuse me so i can cry myself to sleep while i think about this <33333

#marauders era #jegulus #james x regulus #sunseeker #starchaser #james potter #regulus black #conan gray #im going to go cry #love you all

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jomarchswritingjacket · 6 months ago

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favorite singers and rappers as shakespeare characters

taylor swift is juliet (duh)

beyoncé is cleopatra

hozier is puck

florence welch is ophelia

the last dinner party are the main cast of julius caesar (also duh)

lorde is cordelia

chappell roan is rosalind/ganymede

girl in red is viola/orsino

conan gray is mercutio

reneé rapp is katerina

megan thee stallion is titania

lil nas x is feste

muna are the weird sisters

olivia rodrigo is helena

fletcher is beatrice

sabrina carpenter as hermia

feel free to add onto this bc I can’t think of any more

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musicoftheheart · 7 months ago

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'miss you' but its regulus black after leaving james and getting the dark mark :(

#miss you #conan gray found heaven #found heaven #conan gray miss you #conan gray #marauders fandom #marauders era #mauraders #jegulus #james x regulus #regulus x james #regulus black #james potter #dorian speaks

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number-onekidqueen · 9 months ago

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𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝

Part Two Part One

Luke Castellan x Apollo!fem!reader

warnings: character death, depression, lots of crying.

Summary: you’re still feeling awkward about what happened that night with Luke. And then you get the news that changes everything.

Days passed, days since your ki- hang out with Luke.

Hang out? Who were you kidding? It was clear it wasn’t him.

But you’d laid yourself bare to him, been about to confess all your feelings and he had just shut you down and run away.

Of course you didn’t wanna talk about it in the morning.

The tragedy was he did.

And just when you were feeling better, and your conversations weren’t so awkward, fate tossed you to the ground again, as it often did. You still didn’t really believe it.

Cecilia, your cabin counsellor, your beloved older sister had died on the road to college. It seemed impossible.

Of course, they’d had a brief ceremony, a burning of a golden yellow shroud weaved with her own fingers. And then they’d appointed you as cabin counsellor, announced a bunch of new kids had arrived and everyone forgot.

It made you sick to think people would forget Cecilia. That the three Apollo kids your cabin had greeted would grow up without her and never know of her presence.

Obviously, your cabin was upset, but they didn’t make it so as Aphrodite always did. The sun keeps shining, and Apollo kids kept going, laughing, training, even if muffled sobs could be heard the first few nights. They never talked of her, and after the first week, she was a sad little scar that had scabbed.

It still hurt a little, but the memory was what hurt the most.

Except for you. She was still a mortal, lethal wound for you. And it was getting harder and harder to keep your composure and pretend everything was okay.

Shortly, it all cracked and spilled out from you. It hadn’t been anyone’s fault really. Chiron was just trying to be supportive to little Will, but when he praised enthusiastically that he was the best archer he’d scene for 300 years, tears seemed to burst from you.

Because that had been Cecilia’s title. She had been the best archer, training all the little ones supportively and making people gasp with the precision of her shots.

It seemed Chiron had already forgotten. Everyone had.

It was like losing her all over again.

No one saw the little sun cracking on the archery field. They just noticed you disappearing behind some clouds.

You didn’t pay attention to the stares and whiplash glances of some, as you ran back to your cabin with tears streaming, and your heart in your throat.

Didn’t notice as a tall brunette boy on the sword plains spotted you, dropped his sword immediately and with a shouted apology behind him began to sprint after you.

Your bed was warm and comforting, the covers swaddled around your shoulders in a safe cocoon as you sobbed your heart and soul onto your pillow.

Cecelia was dead. Dead. This is what you would deal with every day for the rest of your life, she was dead and she would be replaced and forgotten and no one would even know her and-

The door creaked open and immediately you stilled, pretending to be asleep.

“Y/N?” It was Luke.

Not the timing, you thought to yourself miserably.

“Y-yeah,” you tried for a sleepy yawn, but it came out cracked and pained. Ugh.

“You ok?” He asked quietly, and you heard his footsteps approach.

“Yeah, yeah. Just woke up.” But your voice was hollow and very much awake.

He sat softly at the edge of your bed, and for a while you were both still. Only your breath was audible. Then, tentatively and slowly, you began to feel his warm fingers slide through your hair. It was so comforting and lovely that you had to swallow down the wave of tears that surfaced.

“It’s okay, you know,” he murmured, your hair in glorious tangles around his knuckles, “to cry. You don’t have to pretend. Especially for me.”

“Yeah, I know,” you whispered back, “it’s just-“ you hesitated.

I love you.

I don’t want to burden you with all my stupid problems.

“You probably don’t want to talk about this to anyone, right? Me included.” He guessed, and he began to retract his fingers and you felt like screaming at how utterly wrong he was. “I’m sorry, I should give you space.”

“No, you don’t have to. You can stay here.” You tried not to beg, but you were inches from clinging onto him to stop his departure. He understood.

“Would you like me to stay?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Then here I’m staying. In your bed.” He reassured comfortingly, “I mean, on.”

His flustered stuttering made you smile weakly and turn to face him.

His whole face softened, lost all his fluster and stress when your eyes met, but you were too busy setting your head into his lap so you faced up at him to notice.

He traced your tear tracks, brushing any remaining ones away with his thumbs.

“I know the pain feels awful,” he said suddenly, “but if you ever feel bad, like you can’t breathe or you’re about to burst, don’t keep it in y/n, come find me. I’m always here for you, always.”

“Thank you.” You said near inaudibly.

“I hate seeing you cry,” he confessed, his forehead crinkling, “or being sad. It just hurts me. But I love making you feel better, I’d do anything in the world to make you happy, I promise.”

“Thank you.” You said louder this time, your cheeks beginning to heat up.

It was a peaceful few seconds you gazed at each other, smiling. Then you closed your eyes, comforted.

You felt warm hands lift your body, and your eyes fluttered open. But it was just Luke lying down beside you and repositioning yourself on his chest.

“Sorry,” he murmured, “just figured we might be here for a while.”

His arms encircled you, and even in your drunken state of misery, your heart rate sped up. You turned your head slightly, so you could hide your bashful grin in the orange folds of his shirt. His chest was warm, comforting, and you could feel every deep breath he took.

“Sorry,” you murmured, facing up once more, “your shirt’s probably going to be all soggy after this.”

“I don’t mind a soggy shirt if it makes you happy.” He breathed, and your heart was bursting from the love that statement invoked when you saw his eyes flicker. Your eyes. Your mouth.

Could he really-

Surely not-

Eyes. Mouth.

The air was electric, as if Zeus himself was in the cabin. The space was getting tighter and smaller and everything was so close and dizzy and what in the gods before you knew it you were nose to nose and you could feel his warm breath and he was leaning down to kiss you against the pillow.

It might’ve been the best kiss you ever had. With salt on your tongue, and sweetness from his lips, the tastes of all your emotions were combined, giving way to the most passionate and fantastic kiss you’d ever had. Your head was pressed to the pillow, and he was moving above you, warm, soft and pouring his heart out to you, the gateway his lips. It seemed every single ‘I love you’ either of you had ever been too afraid to say was expressed strongly now, each drop of attraction and love and feeling was encapsulated between the movement of your lips.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay,” he breathed, against your lips, when you finally pulled apart, both of you panting, “I didn’t want to do anything while you were drunk. But of course I wanted to. I wanted you. I have for so long.”

“It’s okay. I have too,” and you laughed, all those emotions and secrets finally free. You were so giddy with joy! But Luke remained tense, nervous for a reason you couldn’t determine. You calmed down, scared it was all about to come crashing down.

“It’s- it’s not just that, y/n,” he paused, sitting up further away, eyes still looking profoundly into yours, “I love you. I love you, all of you, and you should know that to me you’ve never been a burden, only a miracle to have been with.”

Your breath was caught in your throat, blown away by his confession. You were expecting he might’ve been crushing on you? But loving you? You’d never dared to consider that as an option. And you were beyond thrilled.

“Now would be a great time to say anything,” he laughed nervously, fingers brushing over your shoulders restlessly. You immediately felt awful for keeping him waiting.

“I love you too.” You blurted, letting silence ensue. “You make me so happy every time you make a joke or take care of the new unclaimed kids. I’m just in shock.”

And then the pair of you were laughing together, foreheads pressed together before you were tangled in an embrace, that led to another heated kiss on your bed.

You knew soon other campers would arrive to see two head counselors kissing, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care. In fact, while Luke’s like we’re on yours, you couldn’t seem to form any coherent thoughts at all.

In the back of your mind, you were still sobbing over Cecilia. Deeply, you knew you always would. Your heart would always be chipped in that way, the missing fragment forever in her fist as she wandered Elysium.

But you also knew how happy she would be to see you thriving, dating and loving Luke, a boy she had always suggested and approved of. She imagined her now, giggling in delight and grinning at what had transpired. And slowly, the pain began to lift.

Maybe a scar would be okay, as long as you loved and remembered it.

Most of all, you knew that for as long as you required a shoulder to make soggy, Luke would always be there to be your comfort person.

taglist:

@lifeonawhim

@sflame15-blog

@star611

I think this was all, if you'd like to be added to the taglist, just comment or message me :)

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sunshinelivesforever · 8 months ago

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Wish You Were Sober by Conan Gray is Wolfstar-coded. No, you cannot disagree with me on this matter.

#it's literally their song #jk you can disagree if you want #wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #marauders #marauders era #conan gray #wish you were sober #kid krow

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marie-swriting · 1 year ago

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Romantic Feelings, For Me ? - Robin Buckley

Stranger Things Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

Summary : You have a crush on Robin and so does she but neither of you feels ready to make the first move, too scared to lose the other. Thankfully for the both of you, your best friends, Steve and Chrissy, want to help you out.

Warnings : mutual pining, happy ending, mention of alcohol (be careful with your alcohol consumption), maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my First language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2.4k

French version

Song inspiration : Disaster by Conan Gray

“This could be a disaster, Steve ! A huge disaster ! Why did you have to invite her ? I had everything planned and you’ve ruined everything by inviting her to your damn party.” Robin exclaims while giving plastic cups to Steve.

“On the contrary, I’m giving you a little help here. You’ll be able to confess your feelings.” he replies, setting the cups on the table in front of him.

“At a party full of the populars from your year and mine ? Surrounded by drunk people ? I don’t think so ! There are so many factors that make me believe it is a lost cause. Do you need me to remind you of all the scenarios ?”

“No, you haven’t stopped telling me all about it since I told you I had invited Y/N tonight. I got it.” Steve refuses before going to the kitchen to get the alcohol.

“It doesn’t look like it.” she keeps saying whilst following him, all agitated, “Besides, I’m still not sure if she’s attracted to me.”

“Do I need to remind you last week you asked me if it was totally platonic for her to call you, like, every night ? I’m saying it again, it is not platonic.”

“Maybe she does this with Chrissy too ? What do we know ? It’s her best friend, it’d be rational.”

“Sometimes you stay on the phone 'till midnight, trust me, she doesn’t have the time to do the same with Chrissy.”

“Ok, let’s say you’re right and that, by some sort of miracles, she is attracted to me,” Robin starts, making Steve sigh, “what if she ends up freaking out along the way and then we lose everything we’ve been building the past seven months ? And what if the moment I say ‘I love you’, she doesn’t say it back and that ruins everything as well ? Did you think about that ?”

“You should tell her you like her before thinking about the moment you’ll tell her ‘I love you’.”

“I prefer to think about every scenario before jumping in with both feet.”

“The problem is, by overthinking, you’re gonna destroy the relationship yourself.” Steve retort, looking his best friend in the eyes. “You should still test the water tonight and if she’s receptive then good for you, if she isn’t, just say you’ve been drinking too much and you didn’t express yourself correctly. It’ll go smoothly like this, trust me.”

“Trust you ? You, Steve Harrington, who go from one date to the other without it going any further ? I don’t think-”

“Trust me on that one.” he cuts her off, exasperated. “I’m telling you, the feelings you have for Y/N are reciprocated. Stop stressing about it.”

Steve gives Robin a reassuring look. She finally lets go of a sigh, like to signal she accepts her fate. Robin isn’t fully convinced by Steve’s words but they still help her to reduce her stress. A bit. Robin finishes helping Steve to prepare the party, letting her anxiety about you in the back of her mind.

When the party starts, Robin enjoys herself with the other guests. Tired to dance after five songs, she goes into a corner of the living-room, a drink in hand. She tries to catch her breath when John from her Algebra class comes to her and starts talking with her. Not knowing what he wants, Robin answers him. As the conversation goes by, she becomes more and more uncomfortable as she sees John slowly getting closer to her. She’s searching for an excuse to leave the room when she hears your voice calling her name.

“I’ve been looking for you !” you say, putting your hand on Robin’s forearm. “I need your help, can you come with me ? Sorry John, but it’s a girl emergency.” you specify with an emphatic look.

“Oh, yeah, no problem.” he stutters, blushing, “I need to go to… I mean, Bye, Robin.”

“You looked like you needed some help.” you slowly chuckle when you’re away from John.

“Thank God, Y/N. I didn’t know how to get out of this situation. I like you !” Robin says without thinking and making you smile.

“You like me ?”

Hearing your question, Robin’s eyes go wide as she panics. She pretends to cough and search for a solution to resolve the situation.

“Yeah, like a friend, I mean, you know. Sorry I think I’ve been drinking too much. Did you just arrive ? Want to drink something ?” she changes the subject, avoiding your gaze.

“Yes, thanks.” you accept and Robin starts walking in front of you, but you hold her back. “Robin, I like you, too.”

Upon hearing your sentence, Robin stays put in place for a second, not knowing how to act. You end up taking her hand and guiding her to the table with the drinks to pour you a glass while Robin gets a grip on herself.

During the whole party, you stay together, enjoying each other’s company. At some point, you’re really close and yet none of you know if you should understand something out of this situation. From afar, Steve and Chrissy look at you both, completely desperate. They see none of you dares to make the first move whilst you’re both waiting for that. If there weren't that many people, they would’ve forced you to get closer to make an end to your lack of action once and for all. That night, they promised to themselves to do something to help you both, you deserve your cute little romance.

Determined to help Robin, Steve decides to take advantage of a day where he has to get Dustin from school to talk with your best friend. He waits, leaning against his car, until he sees Chrissy walking to her vehicle. He takes a deep breath and trots towards her.

“Chrissy, hi !”

“Oh, hey.” Chrissy answers, stopping in her tracks. “You’re here for Dustin ?”

“Yeah. Actually, I also wanted to talk to you about something. I wanted to know if Y/N had a crush on anybody at the moment ?”

“Why do you want to know that ?” she questions with a questioning look.

“Because I…,” Steve stutters, looking for an excuse, “Actually, I wanted to ask her out and I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t make a fool of myself.”

“Oh.” Chrissy exclaims, taken aback, “Well, you did the good thing by asking me because Y/N has a crush on someone else so it’s not going to work.”

“Don’t worry about it, at least I tried. Do I know the guy ?”

Chrissy notices Steve tries to play it cool but sees behind his question there's something else. She quickly guesses, just like her, Steve has had enough of seeing you and Robin beat around the bush without doing anything.

“Yeah, you know them very well but I won’t give you their name or I’d be a terrible best friend.”

“I get it. Do you know if she’s gonna try to make the first move with them ?”

“Not sure. She’s afraid it’s unrequited even if I’m sure it isn’t. Since your party I've been trying to give her enough courage to have her confess her feelings.” she admits and Steve nods.

“I get your frustration. Robin is also attracted to someone and she’d rather imagine all the worst case scenarios instead of asking them on a date. If the person she’s attracted to doesn’t make the first move, I think she’s going to wait for a long time or miss her chance.” he informs with an insistent look.

“I hope it won’t be the case. I need to go.” she states before leaving without letting him respond.

Steve waves at Chrissy whilst she fastly gets in her car. Chrissy doesn’t waste a second and drives to your home with a big smile on her face. As for you, you’re at your desk, focused on your History homework when someone opens your bedroom’s door loudly. A hand on your chest, you turn around and see Chrissy.

“You want me to have a heart attack or what ?”

“Steve asked me if you had a crush on him !” Chrissy exclaims as if it was breaking news.

“And it's good news because…?”

“I told him you’re attracted to someone else.”

“Chrissy !” you retort with your eyes wide open.

“I didn’t mention Robin, promise.” your best friend quickly specifies, making you sigh of relief. “I just said you have someone else in mind and you don’t know how to confess your feelings.”

“Still don’t know how this is good news.”

“It is good news because he talked to me about Robin ! He told me she’s also attracted to someone but doesn’t know how to make the first move. He totally implied Robin has a crush on you. You should’ve seen his face. You were waiting for your sign, there it is ! Go to Robin and ask her out on a date now.” Chrissy orders pointing at your bedroom’s door.

“No.” you contradict, panicked, “Your conversation with Steve doesn’t prove anything. Maybe you interpreted it wrong.”

“I swear I didn’t ! Besides, at the party, Robin did say to you ‘I like you’, didn’t she ?”

“Like a friend, yes. Don’t forget that part.”

“Maybe she said it ‘cause she panicked ?” Chrissy suggests and you shake your head.

“She still said it quickly while I had a big smile on my face.”

“It’s unbelievable to nitpick like that !” she mumbles. “Y/N, during the party, I watched you and Robin and she’s totally smitten by you. And even though Steve didn’t say it, I’m sure he saw the same thing as me so get up from your chair and let’s go to Family Video !” Chrissy commands, pulling you by the arm.

With a sigh of exasperation, you follow Chrissy who’s dragging you to her car. The whole ride, you try to make her change her mind however she stands her ground and parks in front of Family Video. You sink a bit more in the passenger seat but Chrissy opens the passenger door from her seat.

“Y/N, I know you’re worried about it but believe me, Robin has feelings for you. I wouldn’t be making you do that if I wasn't sure.” Chrissy affirms with her soft voice.

“But I had planned everything !” you complain, “I had planned to wait a bit more just to be sure she was attracted to me and some weeks after that, I would have asked her out. If I do it now, everything will be ruined ! It’s too early !”

“By waiting too much, you risk ruining it before it begins. You’ve been waiting for seven months, don’t you think it’s long enough ?”

You look at your best friend before sighing in frustration because, deep down, you know she isn’t fully wrong.

“You’re right but what if-”

“Stop with the ‘what if’s and go get your girl !” she cuts you off.

Chrissy shoves you, forcing you out of the car. You close the door and start walking toward the entrance of the store. You run your clammy hands over your jeans when a forty years old woman gets in front of you and opens the door. She holds it for you and you thank her before entering as well. Stressed, you run to hide in one of the aisles, hoping Robin nor Steve have seen you. The woman gives back her tape to Steve before leaving without renting a new movie. When you hear the door close again, you breathe slowly, hoping to get a grip on yourself. You try to give yourself some encouragement to get out of your hiding spot and go talk to Robin when you hear her voice. You can’t make out what she’s saying but you can guess she’s panicked because she’s speaking very fast to Steve. You get closer to them while being silent and you finally can understand what she’s saying.

“Steve, I’m telling you it means nothing.” Robin objects.

“She said she likes you, too, right ? And contrary to you who lost your nerve, she didn’t specify ‘like a friend’.” he retorts.

You get a bit closer and you can finally see Robin who has her back on you whilst Steve is in front of her. Robin runs a hand over her face before responding.

“Maybe for her, her ‘I like you’ was hiding a ‘like a friend’ as well like I had said it just before ? Steve, I’m not 100% sure.”

“With what Chrissy implied, you can’t have any more doubts. Y/N hasn’t said anything yet because of the same reasons as you, she’s nervous about it so go talk to her today or do it on the phone tonight if you’re too scared to do it face to face.”

“You’re right, I’m gonna go to her and suddenly say ‘Actually, I have feelings for you, romantic feelings, wanna go out with me ?’ Yeah, sure, it’ll work.” Robin exclaims sarcastically.

“You have feelings for me ?” you question, getting out of your hiding spot.

“Please, don’t tell me Y/N is behind me.” Robin whispers.

“Good luck, Robin.” Steve smiles before walking away.

“You have feelings for me ?” you repeat and Robin turns red.

“What ? No, it’s not that. You misunderstood me. I was talking about someone else-”

“You’re a terrible liar.” you interrupt her, laughing slowly, “Robin, I have feelings for you too.”

“You do ?” she asks, shocked.

“Yeah.” you confirm, avoiding her eyes for a second, “I didn’t know how to tell you, I was imagining the worst and therefore I was always finding an excuse to stay silent. It seems like I could have said something for a long time.”

“Wait, you really have feelings, romantic feelings, for me ?” she verifies.

“What wasn’t clear with what I just said ?” you retort, starting to slowly get nervous again.

“It’s just.... I can’t believe it.”

“If I asked you out on a date, would it help you believe it ?” you enquire with a smile.

“What ? Yeah, totally !” Robin accepts with eagerness.

“Great. I’ll give you the details when we call each other tonight ?”

Still confused, Robin simply nods to accept. Happy, you take one step and kiss her left cheek. When you back up, Robin blushes again. You smile at her reaction besides being glad to finally have a date with Robin, after months of being hopeful and hopeless. A few seconds later, you walk away from her and wave at her one last time whilst Robin looks at you lovingly. When you go back to Chrissy in her car, you see her raising her thumb up in the direction of Family Video and you see Steve doing the same when Robin comes to him, with a huge smile on her face.

Stranger Things Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

#marie swriting in english #stranger things one shot #stranger things x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley x fem!reader #robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x fem reader #robin buckley x female!reader #Spotify #marie swriting with conan gray #marie swriting with music #marie swriting with superache

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