#come* oops
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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
#ra speaks#personal#JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians#obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7#fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background#my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated#by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods#edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.
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happy halloween 👻 it's haunted house time again
#this also is a meme redraw#stranger things#stranger things fanart#robin and eddie make steve go first so they can hide behind him#oops accidentally didn't post anything for a year sorry about that#but another one of these and more art are on my patreon!! it's pretty much the only place i've managed to stay active on 😭#anyways i won't be watching season 5 so i'm stealing these characters from the show creators i've decided that these are OUR ocs now 🤝#sorry again for not posting anything life's been giving me a hard time lately but i'm trying to come back to tumblr!!
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Teyvat's "Most Down Bad" Award Goes to Alhaitham for a Second Year Running
Seeing everyone making fun of Alhaitham for his "stalkerish" tendencies in this event is funny, because I feel like a lot of people missed that "Be literally everywhere Kaveh is" has been Alhaitham's MO from the day Kaveh appeared in the game.
From only grabbing his house keys after Kaveh returned from the desert (he couldn't have had both sets of keys at the end of the Archon Quest unless he went home and got Kaveh's copy) to ditching conversations to get back to his house only after Kaveh came home, to showing up without any warning or explanation in Kaveh's hangout with some ridiculous excuse about hearing his voice through noise-cancelling headphones... Refusing to offer any help in the Temple of Silence story quest other than staying in the library with Kaveh...
Since when does Alhaitham willingly cover anyone else's duties?
But this trend of "Be everywhere Kaveh is" didn't start when they were adults. It was already in place when they were still Akademiya students--and it's a trend that didn't end even when they had their fight.
Even when they weren't speaking, Alhaitham dogged Kaveh's every step through published responses to Kaveh's research articles in academic journals. He insisted on keeping a line of communication between himself and Kaveh open, even if the only way to do that was through very public ideological clashes. Pulling Kaveh's pigtails to get his attention lolol. It's implied that, for at least the few years between their fight and Kaveh moving in, this was the only communication between them--Alhaitham's refusal to allow their connection to entirely fade away. (And the fact that this is revealed in Kaveh's character stories--through his precious journal that records the moments of his life that had the most impact on him--shows just how deeply he values the fact that Alhaitham didn't give up.)
Another relevant side note: Alhaitham never asked Kaveh to give up his half of their house. Knowing half of it belonged to Kaveh, knowing that Kaveh may one day want to reclaim his part of it, knowing that it was listed as theirs, Alhaitham moved into the house and made zero effort to change its ownership. He was completely fine with living in "his and Kaveh's house." The stories suggest it was only months later (or even longer) that Kaveh even noticed he had the house, and he transferred away ownership of his portion without Alhaitham ever asking him (or even seemingly wanting him) to do so.
Please, let that sink in. Alhaitham actively left his grandmother's (presumably comfortable) house to move into "his and Kaveh's house," with no apparent explanation for why, and after doing so, he made no attempt to change that "his and Kaveh's" label. He moved into the house with no promise that Kaveh wouldn't show up on the doorstep the very next day and move in too. It almost feels like another deliberate provocation--I've moved into our house, are you going to come stop me? LBR, if Alhaitham had had his way, Kaveh would have been living there with him from Day 1...
There's also the fact that Kaveh literally can't write on a single message board anywhere in the entire nation of Sumeru without Alhaitham hunting his messages down and responding to them (which absolutely no one else does, by the way).
"NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH." "NUH-UH!"
Alhaitham's own character stories tell us explicitly that one of Alhaitham's defining character traits is "He is never where you need him to be," yet somehow...
Shot, and chaser:
Any time Kaveh is in the slightest bit of need or danger or just wants Alhaitham near, Alhaitham is "coincidentally" exactly where Kaveh needs him to be, whenever Kaveh needs him to be there.
Alhaitham didn't just "happen" to run into Kaveh in Port Ormos, an entirely different city from where he was supposed to be working. He didn't just "happen" to read the same terrible book as Kaveh when we know he otherwise would not waste a moment of his time on poorly-written literature...
He didn't just "happen" to appear when Kaveh was upset and needed a distraction in the House of Daena during Kaveh's hangout. He didn't just "happen" to be sitting around waiting when Kaveh needed answers after the Archon Quest. He didn't just "happen" to find Kaveh's academic publications and every single message board posting and respond to them at length and in public.
The only person for whom Alhaitham just "happens" to be available is Kaveh, over and over and over again--because he is very deliberately making himself a constant presence in Kaveh's life.
Which is exactly what Kaveh's mother told Kaveh he needed.
(Like, out of all things, I think people really underestimate the devs deliberately paralleling the romantic relationship between Kaveh's mother and father with Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship. If you want to point to one thing that says "These two characters are intentionally queer-coded," it doesn't get any more obvious than this.)
Alhaitham, are you not embarrassed to be this transparent??? 🫣
#genshin impact#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#I wasn't even looking for half these screencaps#I was just scrolling through the content and “Oops; there's another one”#imagine thinking it's a “coincidence” to run into someone in a desert that stretches hundreds to thousands of miles#I say this in the most positive way possible#but I think Alhaitham might actually need an intervention#bro is reading PULP FICTION for a man#checking the message boards daily for updates from a dude he already lives with#skipping work to do favors for his favorite#I would say his Kaveh hyper-focus is impacting his quality of life#but Kaveh IS his quality of life so...#do you think the merchants in the market are getting savvy#when they see Alhaitham coming they're just like#“Oh Mister Alhaitham! Mister Kaveh was really admiring this painting the last time he came through--”#how many times do you think Alhaitham's brought home new foods only to never buy them again because Kaveh didn't like them?#we could end world deforestation with Alhaitham's pining alone
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an untainted innocence
#houseki no kuni#hnk#land of the lustrous#phosphophyllite#phos#i forgot to upload this here oops... commemorating ichikawa's masterful direction in writing phos' self acceptance :)#i love the way phos had finally come full circle in their journey to understanding their purpose in the universe#can't wait to return to the series and get closer to the ending... closure that phos deserves T_T#hnk spoilers#pemprika
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tfw u go to live with ur cool dad who definitely isn’t a horrible person and ur gonna be happy and never worry about anything ever again cause this is a fresh start to ur new life
#warrior cats#wc#tigerstar#tawnypelt#my art#thinking abt them and the early days of tawnypaw in shadowclan. do u think she was hopeful about how#nicely everyone treated her compared to shadowclan? how they respected her and she fit in? that her dad gave her positive attention? before#what would come next?#^ meant to say compared to thunderclan above btw oops im not rewriting those tags
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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she’ll be alright because she had you.
#star wars#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#sw tbb#the bad batch season 3#the bad batch season three spoilers#the bad batch season finale#tbb spoilers#tbb#tbb season 3#tbb hunter#sergeant hunter#just been thinking about hunter struggling to let omega go because he fears for her safety#it’s a big bad galaxy and he’s seen some of the worst of it#but i think he’d come around because he knows that he’s done all that he could to teach her to survive on her own#his love for her#the same love that makes him fear for her#is the very thing that gave him the strength and drive and dedication to give her all the tools she needed to mold herself into her own—#extremely capable person#idk i just think they’re beautiful and i miss them#apologies for waxing poetic (not really at all but it feels like i’m dumping— don’t know if anyone will even read this. oops. okay bye)#mods draws#mods art#my art
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Oooooh the girls are problem solving (the ship is exploding in ten minutes)
Alt below
#star trek#star trek tos#tos#Spock#james t kirk#oops my bad guys seems I forgot for two years my b#uh oh did working a full time art job kill my inspo oopsieeee#anyway sorry this is the part where you find out I have Star Trek brain rot#sorry I’ve been lying to you but I’ve carefully concealed that I’m sick in the head about it#I’m finally coming clean 😔#I’ve been this way for years#s'chn t'gai spock#jim kirk#the original series#my art#I’m still alive I swear#star trek art#spirk
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ally confirming in the adventuring party that kristen still wants to be a cleric and still a follower of cassandra is both comforting and sad. there’s been speculation abt kristen switching to monk/sorcerer/etc and while that would be really interesting narratively, it would sort of throw the last three episodes of sophomore year out the window in doing so.
i also think this last episode mirrors/reaffirms her commitment (in that she opted to allow cassandra to turn their anger onto her willingly), hence the comforting aspect of her keeping her class. but it is really sad bc as ally said: it’s not that kristen’s not caring, but she’s truly disorganized and so young. in a perfect world someone else would have been cassandra’s prophet, and kristen could just be a normal cleric of cassandra.
the unique role she’s in now, as cass’s sole follower AND prophet, is so similar to the life she left behind as helio’s “chosen one” that i can’t imagine it WOULDN’T be triggering. in a way she’s been almost set up to fail.
#just some ramblings#this js coming from someone who doesn’t personally play dnd but i assume most clerics aren’t prophets?#hopefully this makes sense oop#kristen applebees#cassandra fantasy high#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#dimension 20#d20#ally beardsley
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hey guys it's silver vanrouge from the hit disney mobile game twisted wonderland
Comes in three variants: Blonde and Obsessive, Silver but Blonde, and Original who was originally blonde✨
#these all came out within like a month of each other#twst#twisted wonderland#Silver#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#notes from the writing raven#ikevil#elbert greetia#ikemen villains#lovebrush chronicles#alkaid mcgrath#EVERYWHERE I LOOK... I SEE HIM#oops all Silver#this is just like whenever oreo comes out with a new flavor except the new flavor is slightly more filling or smth/j#book 7 spoilers
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drew this instead of working on my computer
#can yall drop some requests in my inbox while i sleep i dont wanna get burnt out from drawing the same white guy over and over again#creep coming on shuffle while im uploading this actually fucking comical#black christmas 1974#billy lenz#slashers#my art#sorry if this comes off as me woobifying him im not good at writing things down OOPS#yes i know his hair is like brown or whatever DONT CAREE#i just know his diagnoses would be fucking insane omg#toontown probably could have saved him if im being real#dont ask me to elaborate on that
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this is so needlessly chaotic but so is act 4 so really if you think about it i'm imbibing the spirit of it all into a lot of gaussian blurring
#homestuck#rose lalonde#john egbert#dave strider#davesprite#terezi pyrope#karkat vantas#okay listen this is like a sloppy redraw of panel uhhh#panel 1691#it was not supposed to go like this#but hey um#you ever remember why you were so obsessed with a webcomic#because like i do#i really really do#this comic is so dumb and soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fruitful#and as a teenager guys I DID NOT APPRECIATE THE INTERMISSIONS#I PAID NO ATTENTION TO SPADES SLICK AND SNOWMAN AND SHIT UNTIL WAY LATER#AND SO NOW I'M LIKE MUCH MORE APPRECIATIVE#AND IT'S JUST#A REALLY FUCKING FUN TIME#TO BE REREADING#thank u jax for getting me hooked in#im seated and i'm reading#too many tags oops#art#rosemary to come soon i just reread their first like 2? pesterlogs and OOFJSGLKDJFGLKDFJGLDFKJDFGL#I EAT IT#IF UCKING EEEAAAAT IT#hey the way i'm 25#sorry to be cringe on my TUMBLR account
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Omegaverse AU where Steve presents as an alpha just like his father always wanted, just like everyone expects, just like he was supposed to. He exclusively dates betas, scoffing and saying omegas weren’t good enough for him. He said they were too needy, too annoying, too pathetic. He was an alpha.
He hates it.
The truth is that Steve always wanted to be an omega, always wanted to soft and taken care of, wanted to be pupped up, wanted to avoid the stupid knotheads that he was forced to surround himself with, forced to pretend to be. He never dated an omega because he wants to be one and wants desperately for another alpha to take him as their own.
Enter Eddie, an alpha unlike any other. He scorns alphas like Steve and Tommy and Billy and all the other knotheads who act like they’re so much better than anyone else just because of their secondary gender. He rants on top of cafeteria tables about it, has ever since he presented and actually had the other alphas try to talk to him at first as if he was one of them.
No fucking thank you.
Steve is…not enamored, but curious about the super senior. Nancy broke up with him, he and Tommy are sort of on the outs though still barely friends, and Billy has a one-sided rivalry for the crown Steve currently wore, not that Steve truly cared about it.
Blah blah blah, Steve propositions Eddie after watching him for a while, realizing that Eddie might just be the sort of alpha who would fuck Steve and let him pretend to be an omega for a little while, meanwhile Eddie thinks King Steve wants to start shit with him like a knotheaded alpha and is wary and lightly mocking at first, until he realizes what Steve wants.
Steve and Eddie become fuckbuddies, nothing more, where Steve gets to role play as an omega and have Eddie dominate him, who seems to know that Steve wants to pretend to be cared for rather than playing the slut role he’s been doing as an alpha, and Steve actually breaks down in tears the first time Eddie calls him “good boy” and “good omega” though they both pretend he didn’t.
And you see, bitching isn’t really well known yet. It’s not really a thing that’s spoken about amongst polite society. So neither of them clock it when, as their feelings for each other grow, Steve becomes a little more emotional, a little more irrational in regards to Eddie’s attention, and they use scent blockers and neutralizers all the time to keep their affairs secret, so they don’t notice Steve’s scent changing, or the fact that he’s starting to become more than just artificially wet, or his knot doesn’t really pop like it used to because they both steadfastly had ignored it for so long to play the role right.
And it’s just not known. It’s not something that’s really spoken about, so they’d never think about it.
So no, they don’t notice anything until it’s too late, until it happens, and Steve is suddenly thrown into a spontaneous heat after an intense basketball game or something, the final stages of his transition. There was too much sweating, too much testosterone, that the blockers and neutralizers don’t really cut it anymore.
Billy makes the winning shot as the heat hits, making Steve’s legs collapse under him as slick coats his drawers and shorts, dripping down his thighs. All alpha heads suddenly towards him as his new true scent bursts out, surprise on all their faces, even hunger on some.
Billy and Tommy both take a step towards him but are forced to stop by a growl that reverberates through Steve as if it were his own as the familiar scent hits him of blockers and tobacco and weed and leather and that stupid cheap shampoo/conditioner/body wash 3-in-1 that Eddie uses as strong arms wrap around him and dark hair cascades around him.
Because he’s there. His alpha. He’s always there, hiding in the corner or under bleachers or somewhere where Steve can’t see him and he’s always there because this stupid thing between them has become so much more than either of them ever expected and he’s so protective of his omega because Steve is his omega even when he was an alpha because he was always an omega even when he wasn’t biologically.
It isn’t ideal. It far from fucking ideal, but Eddie whisks Steve away in his arms, whispering those words of praise that used to only belong in their role play, but Steve is burning up and he can’t wait can’t wait can’t wait can’t wait can’twaitcan’twaitcan’tfuckingwait—
And Eddie pulls him into classroom, locks and bars the door with desks and chairs and whatever else, and then he’s there he’s there he’stherehe’stherehe’sthere.
Eddie wants to bite, wants to mark, wants to claim, but he knows now isn’t the time so all he does is help Steve through it while he’s all but delirious from the sudden heat rewriting him completely.
Afterwards, they will talk. They will confess. They will admit. They will acknowledge that they were his alpha, his omega, and had been for longer than either of them realized. They will slink to Eddie’s car, go to Eddie’s trailer, will wash off all scents artificial and other until the them, finally just them and they will find the truth in each other. They will find a love that thrived against all odds. A love that beat fate itself.
Eddie does eventually bite him, and Steve completes it with his own, and eventually Steve gets his and his alpha’s pups like he always wanted and he can bask in the knowledge that he was exactly where he was always meant to be, with an alpha that loves and cherishes him exactly as he is, with a pack both of his own pups and the pups he all but adopted as their babysitter and real friends he gathered along the way he never thought he would be lucky enough to have.
It’s not easy at first. Of course it’s not. Something practically unheard of happened in a small conservative town like Hawkins. There were bigots and hateful people galore, and at times it even tested Steve and Eddie, but they always survived and always came out on the other side hand-in-hand and triumphant in their growing love.
They know that the best things in life are worth fighting for. And they vowed to never stop fighting. For themselves, for each other, and for everyone and everything they hold dear.
And they have fantastic sex along the way.
#I really just like the idea of Steve wanting to be an omega instead of the fics where he has to come to terms with being one#I may or may not write this out one of these days#or if someone else wants to do their own version of it please just link credit and send me a link to the story!#omegaverse#omegaverse au#alpha!steve harrington#alpha!eddie munson#omega!steve harrington!#alpha steve harrington#alpha eddie munson#omega steve harrington#omegaverse bitching#king steve#eddie the freak munson#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#literally wrote this at work instead of working oops#plot thots
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yeah, get it right Sam
#batpoopart#superphantom#danny phantom#supernatural#dp x spn#superphantomweek2024#king of hell danny#he's in a different dimension or smth tho... still has his 'ghost' form but it's emaciated oops#cw blood#cw gunshot wound#i've come to conclusion that this king of hell danny can be found at DIY skate parks a lot#either skating or helping do the DIY ramps and stuff#just think hes neat#dpxspn#hell is under new management au
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puppy... 🥺👉👈✨💕
#i'll have you know! that's my emotional support murderer~#ughh listen he was justified!!!!!!#ok maybe not about the wutai thing but. nobody is immune to shinra's propaganda ok???#the other couple hundred dudes tho yeah they totally had it coming.#the helicopter pilots and wanted terrorists were just collateral damage. oops shit happens lol! haha#ffvii#zack fair#my art <3
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my live reaction when i saw aemond in the brothel
#and i oop#what a man what a man#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#aemond one eye#aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#prince aemond#prince regent aemond#aemond#aemond x reader#aegon ii targaryen#Aegon Targaryen#alicent hightower#queen alicent#king aegon#helaena#helaena targaryen#if ANY of y’all body shame ewan Mitchell you will have to answer to me—AIGHT#we love all body types in this house#mans is a Greek statue come to life i stg
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