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starilicious · 3 years ago

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der lagi lekin (hunter x force-user!gn! reader + ep. 8 fix-it)

》 summary: tbb episode 8 fix-it featuring a force-user reader who used to be a jedi. reader is a part of tbb and in a relationship with hunter, but the squad–nor hunter–knows that reader is a force-user. (disclaimer: all of this was written before episode 9 was released! see a/n for an explanation ^_^) (another disclaimer: if you want just the hunter x reader comfort, please let me know and i'll finish it up and post it!)

》 word count: ~8k (yeah, it's a lot LOL)

click here to read on AO3

》 warnings: in-universe swearing, mental breakdown, some slight sensory overloads, pretty mild panic attack, light canon-typical violence, angst + some comfort, survivor's guilt from surviving order 66, no use of y/n, slightly plot heavy because i got way too carried away in writing (whoops?) [if i should add more warnings, please let me know!]

》 spoilers: major ones for tbb episode 8 "reunion"

》 a/n: okay look, i gotta confess: this wasn’t supposed to be an episode 8 fix-it. really. i’m actually glad cad bane won because we get to see that the clones don’t always win every fight... i think it makes for a better and more complex story. anyway, i started out writing just reader and hunter comfort after episode 8 ended. but i’m weak for omega because she reminds me so much of my younger siblings and i ended up writing a wholeass fix-it to save her (even tho cad bane is a downright badass). i kind of liked what i did with building up the plot so much that i might continue this story of force-user!reader with tbb. but that’s a tangent we can deal with later. if you would like a part two with the hunter x reader comfort this was originally intended to be, let me know!

as i said in the summary, i wrote all of this before episode 9 came out–just be aware of that. because it’s so long, it took me a while to edit, which is why i’m posting after ep. 9 was released. but without further ado, i hope you like it! <33

》 misc. notes:

• title of the fic is from the hindi song "der lagi lekin" from the film zindagi na milegi dobara. i linked the song in blue and linked the english translations in green in case you're curious! it's not necessary to listen or understand the song, but i thought it went well with the fic :)

“Everybody get down!” Wrecker yells. You and the squad immediately do as he instructs, diving towards the ground and covering your head. Stars, I hope this works.

The charges the six of you placed around the gigantic cone that surrounds the core cylinder explodes in a deafening blast. You curl into the tightest ball you can manage, breathing so hard that the HUD inside your helmet temporarily fogs up. Metal shards of the explosion rain down on you hard.

For a moment, it seems like nothing happened. But then you hear the telltale, ear-grinding creak of the durasteel and the squad is roughly catapulted forward from the force of the cone beginning to fall down.

You struggle to stand up as you lurch this way and that, trying to regain your balance and stabilize as Tech calls out, “Hold on!”

You quickly glance at the rest of the Bad Batch, trying to see if any of them were hurt. Other than the absolutely terrified look on Omega’s face, all is well considering the circumstances. The metal groans and begins its descent, taking your feeling of being grounded with it. The weightlessness is uncomfortably familiar to say the least, but you ignore it as the six of you scramble to hold on to the side of the cone. You certainly did your fair share of acrobatics back in the war, but feeling it hum around you...it’s too much. It’s too much. You elect to push it back into the depths of your brain. But it doesn’t leave.

It never really does.

Omega’s anxious whimpers come in faintly through your thick helmet and you whip around, frantically trying to find where she is. But before you can find her, the cone lands vertically on its head and the force is so violent that your stable hold on the durasteel is broken. Panicked, you quickly fire a grappling hook towards the ledge where you were previously hanging on. The hook catches and you stop abruptly, the jerky movement almost wrenching your arm out of its socket.

You look down to see Omega falling from someone’s grip and into Hunter’s arms. You can barely tell where anyone is thanks to the lack of light and the incessant motion.

The cone begins to topple onto its side and suddenly, your wire snaps from the tension. You let out a scream of surprise as you plummet downwards, wind rushing past your helmet. ForceIdon’twanttodieohmyMakerohno–

But you never hit the ground, instead being flung sideways as the cone tears into two. On trained instinct, you tuck yourself into a ball to try and roll in order to break your fall instead of using it. That time is long gone.

You land with a sickening thud and hiss in pain as your back hits the metal hard. You hear something crack, but whether it is your armor or something internal, you have absolutely no idea, and don’t have time to check before you black out.

✧✦✧

You jolt awake, a sound making its way into your consciousness. Finally, the damn place stopped moving. You take a few minutes to try and relieve the painful pressure in your chest, reaching up to rip your helmet off because you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe.

You tilt your head back as you struggle to take in air and let the adrenaline subside. You hear voices in the distance and you strain your ears to pick up on the sound as you quickly check yourself over. As far as you can tell, nothing major is broken, and at this point, that is all that matters. Though, your head is pounding, and for more reasons than one

“–nter.. port side... what… status?”

You can’t tell who is speaking, the message too far away for you to hear. But the bits and pieces are enough for you to know that it’s someone from the Bad Batch and that you weren’t unconscious for long. You stand up and dust yourself off before slowly walking to where you believe the origin of the sound is.

“–engine… got company.” A blaster sound and then an explosion rings through the quiet.

Your eyes widen and you quickly pick up the pace, getting your blaster ready as you pick your way through the sharp metal that is jutting out from the ground.

You click on your wrist comm. “Echo, you there?” A faint crackle before his voice comes through, but the signal is scratchy. You frown in frustration.

“–are you? Hunter is... port side,” Echo says and you smack your commlink to try and get the electronics to work, but it’s no use. The device is broken, most likely from the fall, you deduce.

“Meet… Marauder.”

You don’t bother to answer, knowing Echo would probably not even be able to hear what you had to say anyway. Without a signal booster or repeater, there’s no way you can get your transmission across the channel frequency.

It takes a few minutes, but you eventually find the night sky of Bracca blinking down at you at the end of the ripped off cone. You run out to find that you’re in the middle of where the cone broke in half. Okay, new plan. I need to find Hunter. Hunter will know what to do.

You scan your surroundings. The HUD isn’t picking up on any lifeforms near you, and you realize with sinking dread that you have no more options. Whichever piece you climbed through to get to your squadmates, it would take too long for you to search for them since you don’t know their coordinates and your comm isn’t working. Frankly, the Empire–Crosshair–would find you first. You have to use it.

You have to use the Force.

A wave of nausea overcomes you at the mere thought of it and you sway. In an attempt to ground yourself, you tear off your helmet to breathe some fresh air and end up keeling over as the bile rises in your throat. Nothing comes out. You can’t tell if that’s a positive or not.

You could have saved them. Someone. Anyone.

It itches at you in the back of your head, wishing to be let out of its cage. But you can’t. You can’t do it. What’s the use anyway? All you would be doing is saving yourself. The choice of surviving it all has haunted you ever since. Your head pounds in agony.

You saw it happen. You could have helped them. And you ran like a coward. Only ever concerned about yourself.

You inhale sharply as the scene flashes before your eyes, clones shooting at you and the other Jedi. The blaster fire. The confusion. The screams.

How pathetic.

The last statement, an echo of Crosshair’s words, bounces around in your brain. You clutch your head as you let out a heartbroken sob, knee deep in the dirt and metal and grief. Tears create clean tracks down your face as you finally break down, the flood of emotions bursting the dam open. At this point, you don’t know if the emotions are yours or the ones you previously felt through the Force, all of them swirling and blending into one. The bottled up anguish merged together when you attempted to cut yourself off from the Force after the clones–your friends–attacked.

The pain of their death is perhaps the worst of all. Horror courses through you as you finally process your friends and mentors dying around the galaxy, their deaths, their distress, their fear reverberating heavily throughout the Force. Each one cripples you further as you once again struggle to breathe.

It feels like light years pass when you finally calm down to a practically numb state of being. The scenes stop replaying behind your closed eyelids and the echoing shrieks die down to a faint, hollow whisper. You’re suddenly exhausted, limbs heavy and energy sapped. It was almost relieving to finally let the Force once again flow through your body, your nerves lightly tingling with potential despite how tired you feel. You collapse onto the ground and try to recenter yourself.

But despite finally acknowledging the loss, it doesn’t feel right. You didn’t get to say goodbye. You hadn’t been able to even think about them, much less honor them, too focused on going on the run to concentrate on anything beyond the next day’s survival. Even once you joined the Bad Batch, you were paranoid about their chips, about your friends turning on you at any moment. You were always extremely reluctant to engage in the Force, even at the worst of times.

With a start, you realize that you don’t need to worry about your squadmates. Their inhibitor chips are now gone. You… you are safe.

You let out a shocked laugh as it sinks in. A glimmer of hope, of peace. I’m safe.

You sit up then, criss-crossing your legs as you survey the broken landscape of Bracca. Despite the planet being a graveyard, you feel lucidly alive. Perhaps something died in you, that wretched day. But something else, slowly but surely, began growing in its place. It’s meek, but it’s there.

You let out a breath and close your eyes, reaching for the Force like it’s an old friend. It accepts your invitation with hesitation, joining hands with you as if you did not try beating it to death for days on end. You sink into the gentle lapping waves of the Force, extending into it and widening your scope.

There’s something that lurks beneath the surface, in the deep. Dark and sinister and so utterly painful. It calls to you, quiet and low. Enticing. Tempting. And something in you knows that it’s the reason for your previous life’s demise.

But you can feel Hunter’s–and Omega’s, you realize–presence near you in the Force. Even with your relatively damaged connection to the Force after Order 66, the Bad Batch’s Force auras were something you could always hone in on. You let yourself direct your focus to the duo, letting their emotions be your beacon to the acceptance of the Light side of the Force.

In a split second, you decide to not dive deeper into the Force. This isn’t the place nor the time to discover what is prowling in the endless yawning of the Force, to discover why everything happened. So you direct your concentration to the beings on the planet, feeling and breathing your way through the Life Force.

You freeze. There’s something here. No… someone. Your eyebrows furrow as you divert your attention away from your friends and other organisms to the peculiar source. Something about this person strikes you as familiar.

Your eyes snap open and you gasp. I’m not alone. A Force-sensitive. Someone survived. Giddy beyond belief, you snatch up your helmet and begin trekking your way across the wreckage in the opposite direction of Hunter and Omega before pausing. Whoever this person is doesn’t know about your presence on the planet.

And despite the fear you felt emanating off of them in the Force, you somehow knew they were safe, at least for now. And they would remain so if you have anything to say about it. Maker forbid anything that jeopardizes this person’s fragile safety. After all, you know best what it’s like to constantly flee scene after scene.

Staying away is the best thing to do. I’ll come back for you, whoever you are.

You double back and make quick work of getting across the debris as you focus your concentration on Hunter’s and Omega’s Force signatures. As you get closer to the port side, you hear Omega’s high voice. Through your HUD, you can see her small form. You grin. She disappears then, and on closer inspection, you figure she jumped through some broken cargo doors.

The entrance she and Hunter took is too high for you to jump up to, even with the aid of the Force. Combined with your wariness of probe droids, you decide to take a different route from the right side, climbing up the broken ship. The slick oil mixed with the water still present on the metal makes for a difficult trek, and you slip more times than you would like to admit.

Hunter’s gruff voice floats up towards you and you scramble the last few meters to the edge of a hole in the ceiling before pausing. The Force is itching at the back of your head. Something’s wrong.

You peek over the edge of the giant slab of durasteel that created the hole to see bodies in white armor littered everywhere–clones, you realize. Your heart pangs in sadness at the sight.

Slightly to your right, a blue figure and a techno-service droid stand in front of a ship and a frightened Omega stands behind a defensive Hunter. Your mouth drops open. Kriff.

Cad Bane.

A memory from near the beginning of the war hits you in full force. You and Anakin had taken some time on Coruscant to catch up with each other after you passed your trials and were promoted to Jedi Knight. He told you about a mission where he had to stop a bounty hunter who successfully stole a Jedi holocron. You remember how surprised you were when you heard the bitter disgust in Anakin’s voice. The ruthlessly cunning bounty hunter not only threatened to kill Ahsoka, but he murdered Master Ropal.

Judging by the looks of it, Hunter doesn’t know who he is. If the Anakin Skywalker had a difficult time with Cad Bane, there is no way in sithhell Hunter can take him on, even with his enhanced senses. Frankly, you seriously doubt you can either, especially with how rusty your Force skills are now. And that means this isn’t going to end well.

You watch carefully as you tune into the conversation.

“Ain’t you smart?” Bane smirks. “The kid’s got it all figured it out.”

“You’re in trouble now!” the droid exclaims, pointing at Hunter and Omega. You grit your teeth in annoyance.

“Who hired you?” Hunter asks. Stalling. Not a bad move, Hunter.

“Son,” Bane sighs, already done with the brief conversation. “That’s confidential information. Now hand her over.”

Omega stays behind Hunter, taking a knee as Hunter walks forward protectively. You bristle. How am I supposed to help from up here?

“She’s not going anywhere.”

Your eyes drift over the scene in a panic and you take in the fallen clones again. An idea pops into your head. It is desperate, but at this point, you don’t have much of a choice.

Bane mimics Hunter’s movement, walking forward and putting a hand near his belt. The tension is as thick as duracrete.

“That’s unfortunate… for you.”

You grab the long barrel piece from your belt, fitting it over your blaster hurriedly as the showdown begins. Out of the corner of your eye, you see them staring each other down and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Men.

During the war, Crosshair helped you re-engineer your weapon so you could put together various pieces in the field to make a blaster gun that loosely resembled his own sniper. Seeing the clones reminded you of him. A wave of sadness washes over you, but you shake your head. Now is not the time.

You screw on the telescopic sight and set up your makeshift sniper. You peer through the viewfinder and find Bane’s chest. Your finger tenses over the trigger.

You let yourself sink deep into the Force, let it guide your actions. Inhale. Exhale. I can do this. As you relax, the mellow warmth you missed so dearly washes over you, gently eroding the torment in your mind and heart, guiding your focus to the here and now. Trust in the Force.

Wait.

Now.

You fire two bolts straight into your target the same exact moment Bane and Hunter shoot each other. Hunter’s shot hits the droid, breaking off its leg. Bane’s shot hits directly in Hunter’s chest, as yours did Bane. Both men immediately fall backwards and slam into the ground.

“My booster!” Oh. So not a leg. Got it.

“Hunter!”

Kriff kriff kriff. You jump down nimbly from your hiding spot in the ceiling and immediately sprint towards the duo. Is he dead? You would unapologetically release sithhell on Bane if he killed the man you love.

Omega panics as she tries to wake Hunter up, continuously calling his name before taking a glimpse of her surroundings. Before you can react, she grabs her bow and pulls it taut, aiming at you. She looks petrified.

“Whoa! Omega, it’s me!” you exclaim, holding your hands up in surrender. She takes a moment to actually look at you before sagging in relief. Suddenly, the droid comes speeding out of nowhere and Omega shoots, the energy bolt whizzing past your waist and straight into the droid before it can attack you from behind.

The shot rings true and the grumpy robot falls. You turn around to grab at its exposed parts under its head and yank them out to make sure it can’t power on again.

“Thanks, Omega. I owe you one,” you say and Omega gives you a proud smile.

You place a comforting hand on her shoulder before kneeling down to shake Hunter awake, but it doesn’t work. You take a moment to analyse Hunter’s Life Force. It’s a bit dimmer, but it’s constant, meaning he’s out cold and doesn’t have the life draining out of him. You let out a sigh of relief. He’s alive. You glance back to see Bane still not moving. Good.

“What’re we gonna do?” Omega whispers as you both peer down at Hunter. His armor is smoking from Bane’s blaster shot and you exhale through your teeth, trying to come up with a plan. You slip off a glove to check Hunter’s pulse–it’s strong. You don’t want to leave Omega alone, even if Bane is unconscious, but you aren’t sure you have a choice.

“Well we can’t carry him to safety, neither of us are strong enough for that,” you think aloud, gears churning in your head. You would have to wait for help, even if you were sitting ducks.

Briefly, you entertain the thought of taking Bane’s ship. The only problem is you don’t know what trackers or other gadgets are in there–it’s too costly of a risk and a price you weren’t willing to pay. You sigh, resigned.

“Omega, you try to comm the others and see if you can wake Hunter up. I’m going to go inside this guy’s ship and see if I can find something that can help us. We have to get out of here before the bounty hunter wakes up,” you instruct and Omega nods, youthful determination flooding back into her eyes.

You leave her to it, walking cautiously towards Bane’s ship. You look down at him. His armor is smoking in two places from the shots you fired. Based on what you see, he’s still unconscious, and his Life Force reflects the same conclusion. How long that would remain, you don’t know. Which means you need to work fast.

You board the ship while you remove the sniper attachments from your blaster and clip them back onto your belt. You keep your guard up as you look around. No droids. Guess that techno-service droid is his one and only.

In an effort to slowly re-familiarize yourself with the Force, you send out a quick pulse through it to see if there are any lifeforms aboard the ship, relaxing when you find none. You rummage through all the cabinets that you discover, looking high and low as you try to locate something of use. The secret compartment in the cockpit proves to be the fruitful reward to your search. With a wave of your hand, you unlock it with ease. Bingo.

Credits. Bags of them. And they’re unmarked creds, which make your score even better. Hopefully, it would be enough to pay off your debt to Cid and give the Havoc Marauder some much-needed upgrades.

Usually, you would feel bad about stealing from someone, but considering this was a bounty hunter – Cad Bane, no less – you figure you can risk treading the grey area of your moral code.

You grab as many bags as you’re able, stuffing them inside your backpack and clipping the rest onto your belt. At this moment, you’re incredibly grateful to Tech and Echo for designing a sturdy utility belt that fits you well. The standard ones were for clones and you definitely were not a clone.

You exit the cockpit and head to the second level of the ship to see if there’s anything else you can find. A stack of crates sits in the corner across from what you assume to be a prison. You scrunch your nose in disgust as you open one to find medical supplies. Bacta patches and gel, vitapaste, rations, water, gloves, sanitary napkins–it was all there. Delighted, you close the crate and click the repulsor to make it levitate. Oh how you love technology.

You turn around and walk back up the stairs to leave the ship. You freeze at the exit ramp. You have got to be karking kidding me.

“Sorry lil’ lady.”

Cad Bane stuns Omega in front of your eyes before rounding on you and immediately fires. In a desperate attempt to save yourself, you throw your hands up and the honeyed power of the Force rushes through every fibre of your being. The blaster bolts slow down to a snail-like crawl and your eyes widen. How did I…?

Never mind how you argue with yourself. Time to get out of here!

You tiptoe around each bolt, the effort of keeping them in stasis becoming more difficult with each passing moment. You grit your teeth as your arms shake, but you keep going until you are finally off the ramp. You lower your arms and the energy hits the inside of the ship, spazzing out the blinking controls inside.

Bane turns to you in surprise, astonished at how you’re suddenly in front of him. You don’t give him the luxury of processing the event and immediately punch him in the face with as much strength as you can muster. Bane pitches backwards and collapses onto the ground, just as he did the first time. You grab your stun blaster and shoot him as extra assurance. You really did not want this to repeat again. Hopefully he never wakes up with a memory of what I just did...

“Now stay down,” you mutter to a knocked out Bane, cradling your now injured hand. You have no idea how Wrecker ever does this because wow your hand is killing you.

You have to say, you’re pretty proud of yourself for being able to render him unconscious not once, but two times. You wish you could tell Anakin–the thought saddens you. He’s probably dead too.

With that vividly cheery thought, you stagger back from the ramp in exhaustion, weary from the sudden surge of the Force still ebbing and coursing through your body.

None of the Bad Batch knew you used to be a Jedi–not even Hunter. It was something only a few of your closest Jedi friends and the Jedi Council knew about.

But after what happened today, with Rex helping your squadmates get their inhibitor chips out, with you finally letting the Force in… maybe it is time to tell them. The secrecy wouldn’t be needed anymore now that you were sure you were safe around your friends. But clearly, the universe wanted to throw a nasty vibroblade in your plans by knocking Hunter and Omega unconscious and having the best kriffing bounty hunter in the galaxy be hot on your heels.

You take a few seconds to get your breath back and regain your mental energy. You aren’t out of the woods yet. You run inside Bane’s ship to grab the crate of medical supplies before sprinting back out towards Hunter and Omega.

You lean down and pat Omega’s cheek gently, trying to wake her up, but she’s out cold. Why is everyone around me unconscious? Frankly, you’re equally amused and terrified by the situation laid out in front of you.

You sigh, looking around to see if you can find some cover. There’s a giant sheet of durasteel to your left, big enough to act as a barrier in case trouble comes knocking. You bend down and pick Omega up before placing her down cautiously, leaning her small body against the metal. You repeat the action with the crate you found.

The third time proves to be much more difficult. Hunter certainly isn’t as muscular as Wrecker, but he sure as sithhell isn’t as light as Omega. You tap your foot nervously, trying to figure out a way for you to lift him. Yes, you could use the Force, but you don’t want to alert the other Force-sensitive on the planet. If they knew about your existence, it could put them in danger, and that was the last thing you wanted.

Giving up, you place your hands underneath Hunter’s armpits and effectively drag him all the way over, propping him up as you did Omega. You cringe at the sound of his armor grating the floor. There are sure to be dirty scuff marks on it now. Sorry Hunter.

Just as you’re about to sit down next to him, heaving deep breaths from the exertion, you pause. A warning is practically blaring in the Force and you tense, urgently trying to figure out the cause.

“Not again,” you mumble under your breath. You can’t handle any more action today. With Hunter and Omega both down, and your extreme fatigue from engaging in the Force, you don’t know how much of a fight you can put up. Not to mention you never trained as a soldier. There was a reason why you left the military planning strategies to the Bad Batch.

You hold your blaster close to your chest as you scan the environment. Bane is immobile and so is the dismantled techno-service droid. So what’s wrong?

Ten nerve-wracking seconds pass before you get your answer. Clone voices waft up to your hiding spot and you bite your cheek in frustration as your head continues to pound. Your headache still hasn’t stopped.

There is no way you can fight them all off, especially if Crosshair is with them. They are too far away for you to get a read on how many there are, and frankly, you’re much too scared to even peek around the durasteel to count.

One of Tech’s previous statements floats through your mind. About three attack shuttles worth.

You can feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest, blood rushing through your ears as anxiety ties your stomach into knots. I can’t do this, I can’t do this, Ican’tdothis.

You take deep breaths, doing your best to clear your mind and focus. You had to do this. There is no other option other than surrendering or dying. No, damnit, you would go down fighting until the Life Force left you.

You peer just past the edge of the metal to see at least twenty clones heading your way. Certainly not ideal, but you bide your time. If you started shooting now, you couldn’t use the element of surprise to your advantage and they would easily overwhelm you. But once they’re close enough, you hope you can at least take a couple out before having to resort to using the Force. It isn’t ideal, but it’s all you have.

Honestly, you don’t know if you could get out of this one alive, much less protect Hunter and Omega too. Maker help me.

It throws you off when they finally come into sight–you see how plain the clones’ armor looked without paint. You never really noticed it before since you were always running for your life in those circumstances. But now that you think about it, you are so used to seeing bright blue or green or yellow that the alabaster white just seems so… odd.

“Looks like a big fight happened here.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. All these men are dead.”

Now.

You whip your body around the metal and immediately begin shooting as fast as you can pull the trigger, trying to make every shot count. The troopers hesitate for just a moment, most likely due to their surprise of you being there. But that second is all you need.

You take out the three men closest to you before jumping back behind the metal as their barrage of fire rains down on you. You do your best to shoot back and manage to take out one more clone, but they’re beginning to gain too much ground too fast. I can do this. I have to do this.

As far as you can tell, Crosshair isn’t with the clones attacking you, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t set up shop somewhere nearby, waiting to shoot you.

You shudder. It’s a chilling thought.

You grab one of your last detonators from your belt and hurl it as far as you can. The rapid beeping rises quickly in pitch before the charge explodes. Anguished cries reverberate throughout the area, and you briefly feel sorry for having to take such drastic measures as you feel their Force signatures dim swiftly. But you don’t have a choice.

Peeking around the corner, you count around eight to ten clones down. Not bad considering the circumstances.

You continue shooting as much as you can but now the troopers are much too close for comfort and you’re feeling overwhelmed. The durasteel you are using for cover isn’t meant to take this kind of damage, and the integrity of your shield is quickly waning as told by the constant creaks and groans. You don’t know what to do. Will we make it?

In your haste of shooting first and panicking later, you don’t notice Hunter groaning, finally waking up. And before you have time to even glance at him, the familiar hum of the Havoc Marauder and its lights shine down on you. Your sag in relief. Looks like Omega was able to comm them after all. Never before have you been so glad to see the beat-up hunk of junk. (You would never say that to Tech though–the Marauder is his baby, his pride and joy.)

Echo, Wrecker, and Tech all race off the ship, guns ablazing. Wrecker and Tech stand guard, serving as cover fire while Echo bends down to help you out.

“Hunter, wake up!” Echo hisses and smacks his helmet lightly. Hunter mumbles in pain as he starts to move, trying to look around as his HUD boots back up. Seriously? Now you wake up? you think sarcastically. But you’re much more relieved at the fact that he has actually woken up.

“What happened? Where’s Omega?” Wrecker bellows, worried.

“She’s right here, I’ve got her!” you shout back at the same time Echo says, “He was shot in the chest plate.”

You pocket your blaster and gather the young girl in your arms with every last bit of strength you have left. You aren’t strong enough to hold her in one arm and shoot with the other. That is much more up Wrecker’s alley.

“We have to get him on board!” Tech exclaims as he helps Echo support Hunter. You pick Omega up in both arms and bolt for the ship as fast as you can while yelling at Tech to grab the crate of supplies.

“Incoming!” Wrecker calls out as a fresh wave of troopers advance towards the six of you. You grunt as you deposit Omega in a chair near the controls before pulling out your blaster and helping Wrecker shoot down the men racing towards you.

“Got him. Tech, fly us out of here!” Echo commands while Wrecker makes a gesture for them to get on the ship faster. Hunter stumbles as he does his best to upright himself.

“Go go go!” Wrecker exclaims. Tech shoves the crate next to Omega’s seat and makes a beeline for the cockpit as you continue shooting, moving to the side to make space for Echo and Hunter to come on board. Wrecker quickly climbs in right after them and the ramp closes shut.

Tech immediately pilots the Havoc Marauder up and away from the scene. You vaguely hear the sound of blaster fire hitting the bottom of the ship while you drop your blaster on the ground and wrench Hunter’s helmet off in a panic. You take his face in your hands as you scan him quickly, trying to figure out if he’s hurt or not.

Hunter bats your hands away. “He... he took Omega,” he says and you shake your head. Wrecker pipes up from behind you to respond.

“Who? Crosshair?”

“The bounty hunter,” Hunter mutters as he rubs a hand over his face. Before Wrecker can answer again, you step in.

“No, he didn’t. I took him down. And no, he’s not dead,” you tack on quickly when you see Echo open his mouth. Echo shakes his head fondly and you just grin at him.

“She’s right here,” Echo says instead, pointing to Omega’s sleeping figure. Hunter turns in surprise to see that his brother is indeed telling the truth.

“How...?” Hunter’s voice trails off. Echo and Wrecker look at you expectantly, and Hunter follows suit. You sigh and take off your helmet, setting it down on the ledge next to the controls. You don’t look at them.

“It’s a long story.”

You don’t have a chance to elaborate any further because Tech walks in, interrupting the conversation.

“I’ve made the jump to hyperspace. There was a cruiser in the atmosphere, but I was able to quietly go past them by disguising our ship as a bounty hunter’s. They didn’t interfere. I put in the coordinates for Ord Mantell. I estimate our time of arrival to be five hours and thirty two minutes,” Tech reports and Hunter nods while you voice your thanks.

“Looks like we got time!” Wrecker says cheerily, pulling out an extra chair. Tech looks to you in confusion.

“Did I miss something significant?” Tech asks, concerned about the information he did not receive as he adjusts his goggles. You shake your head but now, all eyes are back on you.

“She was just about to tell us how she saved Omega,” Hunter supplies helpfully and Tech nods in understanding. He grabs a chair as well and sits down, interested in hearing what you have to say.

You look around the room, realizing you can’t get out of it. You are exhausted and just want to sleep but based on the looks you are getting from the boys, there is no way you can leave without giving a sufficient answer.

You sit down on a chair in between Omega and Echo and begin explaining.

“When the cone fell, it separated. I got knocked out when I hit the ground, but I don’t think I broke anything,” you quickly reassure as Tech grabs a datapad to scan your vitals.

“After I came to, I tried comming Echo, but my commlink was broken – I could only hear bits and pieces of what he said. There were some voices near me so I just followed them and–” you pause, not sure if you should tell them what happened. What you experienced, what you found out. “–I saw Hunter and Omega. The ledge I found was way too high for me to jump to, so I climbed up the side of the wreckage to see them and the bounty hunter facing off,” you say, choosing to leave the detail out. It was too personal. You still needed time.

All of them are listening intently, hanging on to every word you’re saying. Hunter’s gaze on you is heavy and loaded with questions. Tech is still tapping away on the datapad, but you know you have his full attention. Multitasking may not be possible for regular humans, but it definitely was for Tech.

“When I saw the bounty hunter, I knew Hunter wasn’t going to win,” you mumble sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. Hunter winces at your statement and you rush to explain why.

“Hunter, you have to trust that I genuinely don’t doubt your abilities. You are much more of a soldier than I will ever be. But this bounty hunter is one of the best, if not the best in the entire galaxy. He’s gone against the Jedi, and won. Based on what Anakin told me at the beginning of the war, Cad Bane is ruthless. He tortured Master Ropal and killed him. Believe it or not, I think he tried to abduct Chancellor Palpatine. Even Anakin had a difficult time fighting him.”

A tense quiet settles over you all as you mentally revisit your conversation with Anakin, and later with Ahsoka. She told you how it was one of the first times she was genuinely afraid that she was going to die, or at least get hurt very severely.

Echo’s rough voice shakes you out of your reverie. “How do–did you know General Skywalker?” he asks, clearly confused at how you referred to him on a first-name basis. You mentally facepalm yourself. How did I forget he served as part of the 501st? You feel incredibly stupid.

You could make up a lie, of course, but it wouldn’t be worth it. Hunter’s enhanced senses and Tech’s vitals scan could probably pick up on your biological signs, not to mention you would feel terribly guilty about not being honest. I promised myself I would tell them…

You blow out a nervous breath, deciding to at least give them something. They deserved that much.

“I’m–well, I was a Jedi,” you admit, staring down at your feet. You can’t bring yourself to look at them, feeling almost… ashamed.

The boys are shocked into silence and you cringe. There was probably a much better way for you to say that, but now it was out there. Yet the pressure that had been weighing down on you since you let the Force back in didn’t lessen.

“What?” Wrecker questions, thrown completely for a loop. “You’re a Jedi?”

Before you can answer, Tech pipes up. “When I reviewed your medical data, there was no note about an elevated midi-chlorian count or any sort of connection to the Force. Additionally, there is no documentation of you serving as a General or a Commander during the war in the Republic military records. How were you a Jedi? And why aren’t you one now? You used past tense in your sentence,” Tech adjusts his goggles as he attempts to register this new information that conflicted with his previous knowledge.

You sigh, drumming your fingers on your thigh. “I left the Jedi Order before the war ended. I promise I’ll explain everything in detail later, but for now, you have to understand that I’m just a Force-user. I trained as a Jedi, but I’m not a Jedi, not anymore,” you clarify, lifting your head up to make eye contact with each of them.

“Aw man, that’s so cool. You have to show us your cool mind tricks sometime!” Wrecker smiles and you agree to his request. It warms your heart to see him so excited.

“It makes sense. You must have seen the regs turn on the Jedi but didn’t know why. When you started traveling with us, you didn’t know if we would turn on you too, even though we’re not regs,” Hunter realizes, and you nod in affirmation. You’re secretly relieved by the fact that he doesn’t seem angry, just… just thoughtful.

“And then when I saw what happened to Crosshair, I knew I couldn’t risk ever telling any of you. But when Rex told us about the chips…” you trail off.

Echo picks up your sentence quickly. “You figured out you would be safe with us if we got our chips removed. No wonder you were so insistent on following what Rex said.”

You smile at the last part, a bit embarrassed. He wasn’t wrong. You were probably even more insistent than Rex was on telling them to get their inhibitor chips out. Better to be safe than sorry you told them. Though at the time, you hadn’t even thought about how removing their chips would impact you and your abilities. You were too focused on keeping the Force out of your body to entertain that thought.

Wrecker suddenly gets up and gathers you in a bone-crushing hug. “Well you don’t have to worry now! We got those stupid chips out of our heads, which means I promise we won’t kill you!” he says cheerfully and you can’t help but laugh as you hug him back, the knot in your chest beginning to unravel. You could always count on Wrecker’s wonderfully big heart to raise your spirits.

“You’re right, big guy. It’s honestly a relief. One less thing I have to worry about.”

Wrecker lets go of you and you pick up where you left off. “As I was saying, Cad Bane isn’t a bounty hunter we can take lightly. Crosshair helped me re-engineer my blaster to turn it into a pseudo sniper with attachable parts during the war. Because I was so high up, I could get a clear shot of Bane. From that vantage point, I shot him at the same time Hunter and Bane shot each other.”

Echo’s mouth drops open. “Damn.”

“What I didn’t expect was for Hunter to be rendered completely unconscious. So I told Omega to try to comm you guys while I went on Bane’s ship to see if I could find anything. And I did.” You pull off your backpack and dump out the contents. Bags of credits come tumbling out. You unhook the few bags on your belt and toss them into the pile.

“Bane had a secret compartment with a lot of credits. So I took them and that crate I yelled at Tech to get,” you explain as you reach into the bag to show off the Imperial credits.

Tech’s eyes widen as he lifts up a bag to inspect it. “I will have to calculate how much you took and mark it in the inventory, but based on my initial deduction, this may be enough for us to upgrade the Marauder and provide sustenance for at least a few months.”

“Nice one!” Wrecker compliments and you grin in response. “What’s in the crate?” he asks, walking over to lift up the top.

“Medical supplies. We barely had any left so I figured I might as well take that too,” you shrug as Hunter gets up to join Wrecker to peer at the contents.

“What happened after that? You said you told Omega to comm the others, which means she was awake. Did she get hurt while I was out? Is that why you look so exhausted?” Hunter inquires, astute as ever.

You bite your lower lip. “When I was getting off his ship with the goods, he had woken up again. Before I could do anything, he stunned Omega and then immediately shot at me,” you pause, wondering if you should elaborate on how you got out of the situation. You decide to come clean on this part.

“I… I don’t know how, but I was able to stop the blaster bolts and keep them – and Bane – in stasis with the Force. The problem was that it took a lot out of me. After not really using the Force for so long, my energy reserves were pretty much gone,” you sigh, absentmindedly rubbing your arms. Your muscles are still sore from the event.

“After that, I punched him and knocked him out again. I dragged you and Omega away from the ship so that I could protect you, and I ended up using that giant piece of durasteel as cover to fight off those clones. Then you guys came and rescued us and that’s that,” you finish, suddenly fatigued from the conversation. You slump back into your chair, perfect posture be damned.

“Wow,” is all Echo says, surprised by your strength. It took some serious stamina to be able to withstand so much for so long. Echo remembered seeing Commander Tano and General Skywalker be exhausted after some especially intense missions where they constantly had to use the Force.

“Yeah,” you mutter, massaging your dominant hand. It is still throbbing from the mean hook you threw at Bane. You don’t have any regrets. You glance at Omega’s sleeping figure and soften. The things I would do for this girl.

“Looks like I taught you well!” Wrecker laughs and you smile. When you first met the Bad Batch, Wrecker took it upon himself to teach you basic self-defense and how to overtake an opponent intelligently. Even though you already learned how to fight as part of your Jedi and military training, you couldn’t say no to him when he looked so excited. But it paid off because he’s right. Wrecker did teach you well.

“You did. You basically saved my ass out there with your amazing teaching skills,” you chuckle, glancing down at your hand. You think you’ll probably have to cover it in bacta gel to speed up the healing process before having yet another realization. (You seem to be having a lot of those today.)

I can just Force-heal. Before, you couldn’t Force-heal because it would look suspicious if something healed too fast. But now that they know, you don’t have to solely depend on medical supplies anymore.

Tech, as always, is right on cue. “Is your hand alright? For you to render Bane unconscious must have been no easy feat. Not to mention that according to the medscan I just took, you have a mild concussion, most likely due to your fall. I can run a medical diagnostic test to start and then run more specific tests to combat your pain...” Tech mutters the last part to himself, brain running light years faster than his mouth as his fingers fly over the datapad.

You debate it for a moment before nodding. “That would be great, Tech–thanks. But right now, I’m exhausted, so I’m going to go and crash in my bunk. Wake me up if I need to punch someone again,” you joke before shuffling away from your squadmates. You ruffle Omega’s hair affectionately as you pass by her and pick up your blaster from the ground before climbing down the ladder. You don’t notice Hunter’s troubled gaze or how his Force signature sours a bit as you leave.

You quickly clean up and throw on some bacta patches on a few nasty bruises. You sit down on your bed and pull the privacy curtain before deciding to open up your secret compartment next to your mattress. You stare down at the objects, the only things you have left as a reminder of the past. You reach down for one of them, about to touch it when you stop.

You shake your head and shut the drawer. Deciding to finally, finally hit the hay, you’re out like a light as soon as your head hits the pillow. Dealing with the Force and healing yourself could be done later. Not even your constant pain and crippling worry about your family friends could keep you up any longer.

please consider reblogging! it really helps me and is super encouraging ^_^

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writer1 · 3 years ago

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Acceptance

Warnings: a bit of angst, but not too much.

A\N: This was requested by Anonymous, I really hope you like it and that it helps your brother to feel better! Best wishes to him 😊 If there is anything wrong that I did, please tell me, this is my first time writing a fic like this and I don’t want to offend anyone. D\N-Dead name.

The Request: For your 501 followers celebration, can I request Bad Batch and Omega with reader, who came out as ftm? ( transgender, female to male ) Plot looks a little like this : reader calls them all for a meeting and makes them all sit down, telling them he has something important to tell them. He starts to explain to them his he felt for the past few years, not knowing who he really is and stuff. At some point he starts to cry from fear that they won't accept him and maybe even kick him out from the squad.

I would love to see their reactions, how they calmed him down and told him it's okay and they love him no matter what.

This request is for my brother, who is trying to tell our mother that he's transgender. He's really scared and I hate to see him like that. I think this fic would help him gather the courage and tell her or at least make him feel better about himself.

Please let me know if this kind of request is okay with you, like if you feel comfortable enough to write it. Have a great day/night and take care!

You pace the common area of the marauder, nervous about what you are about to do. You have decided to come out to them, and tell everyone that you are a transgender. You’ve always felt different, not like yourself, and it’s taken you a while to realize that you are a man, not a woman.

You just… you don’t know how to tell the bad batch, they’ve always treated you like their little sister, what are they going to think when they find out you are actually their brother? You sigh, and decide to just call them, it’s all you can do. You’re just scared, what if they won’t accept you, they may even kick you out of the squad, then you’ll lose your brothers and new little sister.

“Guys! Can you come in here, I want to have a family meeting!” You call, twisting your fingers in your hand, you take deep breaths to come yourself down, as the bad batch and Omega all walk in. Hunter raises an eyebrow.

“What’s going on, Sis.” You flinch when he calls you that, and Hunter frowns. “Hey, what's wrong?” “Are you feeling sick?” Wrecker asks, and you chuckle. That cheered you up a bit. “No, no. I’m not sick, there's just something I have to tell everyone, so please sit down.” Everyone does as they’re told, all curious of what you may have to tell them.

Tech smiles at you. “What do you need to tell us, D\N?” “Yeah, I was in the middle of cleaning my rifle.” Crosshair earns a slap from Omega for that, as she glares at him. “Cross, don’t be rude.” Then everyone turns and looks towards you, making you even more nervous than you already were, but you just take a deep breath to calm yourself, and start. “I… “ You try to start, but choke up.

You feel so nervous and scared. “D\N?” Hunter asks, as the others stare, you sigh and take a deep breath. “For the past few years, I’ve been struggling a bit. I’ve never really understood who I was, or what I really wanted. And I’ve always just felt… different.” They nod, looking confused, but they listen intently.

“Is it something we did? Or something we could help with, Sis?” Hunter asks, but his eyebrows furrow when you flinch at the nickname. You run a hand through your longer hair, absolutely hating it. “Look, I just… I don’t know how to tell you because--” You choke on a sob, making them all jump up. Hunter runs over to you, followed by his brothers.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright Sis.” He hugs you close, pulling you over to a seat and sitting you down. He pets your hair gently as Wrecker grabs your smaller hand in his larger one. Once Hunter pulls away Tech gently pulls you into his own hug. Echo walks over and grabs your hand gently, he’s newer to the family, but still has already become a brother to you. You look up as Crosshair taps your shoulder three times, his way of saying ‘I love you’

Omega comes over and gently gives you a hug, making you smile as you try to stop crying. “Hey, whatever it is, it’s okay.” Hunter tells you, but you shake your head and set Omega down. “You’re gonna think I’m weird and kick me off the squad, out of the family…” All their eyes widen. “Like hell we will!! You’re our sister!” Crosshair yells, making you flinch and sigh. Hunter wonders why, he has a theory, but you should be the one to tell him. “We won’t kick you out, none of us will.” Hunter reassures you, making you smile as the others nod in agreement.

“You’re family, even to me. And I haven’t been in this family very long.” Echo tells you, making you smile as they all sit down, but then you frown. “I’m not… I’m not a girl.” You tell them, finally just saying it. They all raise their eyebrows, not exactly understanding. “What?” Wrecker asks, not angry or anything, but sincerely confused. Even Tech doesn’t know what to say, you sigh as you bite your lip.

“I’m not a girl…. I’m a boy.” You tell them, and Tech makes a little ‘oh’ sound. “So you’re transgender?” He asks, and you nod. The others still look confused, making Tech sigh, then look at you. “Would you like me to explain?” He asks, softly. And you tear up, nodding. Who knows how the others beside Tech will react.

“Transgender means that the gender you are born with, doesn’t corraspond with how you feel. Meaning that D\N, who was born a girl, is actually a boy. That's who he is.” They all nod, blank expressions, you start to tear up again. “M’sorry.” You whisper, but then are pulled into a hug by Wrecker.

He sets you down, gently wiping your tears away. Hunter smiles at you. “Hey, we are never going to kick you out, ever.” He tells you, making you smile. “So we have a brother.” Crosshair says, giving you a rare smile. You nod. “Yeah, you do.” You tell them, and they all smile again. Omega runs over and hugs your legs. “I have another brother!!” She cheers, making you smile as you pick her up into a hug. “You do, sweety.” Hunter then walks up as you set her back down.

“Do you have a different name in mind, Brother?” Hunter asks, and you tear up, being called brother instead of Sis feels so nice. You nod. “I kind of like Y\N, what do you guys think?” They all give you wide smile’s. “I love it!!” Wrecker yells as he picks you up in a bone crushing hug, making you laugh, nuzzling into his shoulder.

“That suits you well, Y\N.” Hunter tells you as he smiles, Wrecker setting you down. “It does fit well.” Crosshair smiles, placing a toothpick in his mouth. You run a hand through your hair, and you grimace. Hunter must notice. “Would you like me to cut it for you? If you want it cut, of course.” Hunter says, making you smile. “Yes, please.” Hunter smiles and leads you to the refresher as your brothers and sister follow.

You both walk in, but then you smirk. “I want it to be a surprise to the rest of you.” You tell them, making Wrecker pout. “Aww, I don’t want to wait.” He says dramatically, making you chuckle. “Too bad.” You close and lock the refresher door, as Hunter smiles and sits you down. “Alright, how short do you want it?” You hum and tell him, making Hunter smile. “Nice, I’m sure it’ll look great on you.” You smile as Hunter gets to work, gently cutting your hair. He makes sure it’s the exact length and style you had asked for, wanting you to feel comfortable.

It’s a nice silence, filled with only the sound of the scissors. All you feel is joy, joy that you aren’t losing your brothers, joy that they accepted you, and joy of finally being who you are.

Once Hunter finishes, he smiles and runs a hand through your hair. “Is that how you wanted it?” He asks, and for the first time since he started, you look in the mirror. You immediately tear up, it’s exactly how you wanted it. “I… Thanks.” You tell him, slamming into him and hugging him tightly. Hunter chuckles and pulls you close, kissing your forehead. “Don’t you ever be afraid to tell us anything, no matter what happens, we will always be here for you.” You tear up again, crying tears of joy as you nod.

Hunter lets you go. “Ready to show them?” He asks, and you nod. “Yeah.” Hunter smiles and opens the door, you walk out as everyone comes running over. Wrecker smiles widely, a large grin as usual. “You look great, Y\N!!” You smile. “Thanks Wrecker.” Crosshair smiles. “You look a lot happier too, I’m glad.” He smiles at you, then he looks away. “I… I love you, Brother. Nothing can change that, not ever.” He says, making you tear up once again and pull him into a hug. You know how hard it is for Crosshair to say those words, so for him to say them, it’s so comforting.

He hugs you back, and after a few moments you pull away. “It looks great, and I’ve already changed your name and sex in my database to match what you told us.” Tech smiles at you, making you smile back. “Thanks Tech.” You chuckle out, smiling at him.

Echo then gives you a one armed hug, smiling. “I love it, it fits you much better than your old one.” You smirk, rubbing his head. “Hopefully yours grows back soon, then maybe we could match.” Echo chuckles. “Not a chance, I already have a hairstyle planned. No offense.” You nod, waving it off. “None taken, you just don’t know a good hairstyle when you see it.” Talking like this, normally. It feels so nice, before you told them, you thought you’d never joke with any of them like this again.

“You look so handsome, Y\N!! I love it!” Omega tells you, running forward and hugging your legs. You laugh and pick her up, as Wrecker pulls all of you, even Crosshair, into a group hug. Right here, feeling like yourself, your true self and with your family, this is the only place you ever want to be.

Taglist: @ahsokatano-thetogruta @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @lightning-wolffe

#star wars clone wars #the bad batch #my writing #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch x trans reader #trans reader #tech #crosshair #hunter #Omega #wrecker

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yukipri · 3 years ago

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Bad Batch end of season thoughts/ramble, bc it's been a week and I just wanna get it all off my chest...

(end of season spoilers and very disorganized rambling)

First off, I do want to say that I enjoyed watching the show. It fulfilled its primary purpose: entertainment. It was nice having something to look forward to every week, and even though it wasn't quite what I was expecting, it was fun. The animation was gorgeous, I liked all the references and tie ins. I will likely watch it again, and will watch season 2. This is by no means meant to be a hate post.

That being said, it is critical so please just skip if you're not into that!

The thing is...it takes very, Very little for me to love a clone. He doesn't need lines, or a face, or even a name, and the default is that I will love him. He can even be a little bastard, like Slick, and it's fine. I always want to know more about them, and wish they had more screen time and time in general to develop their characters. So given that we were getting 16 (20 eps total if we count TCW S7 pilot arc) centered around these guys, I was expecting to absolutely adore them by the end.

And I wanted to love the Bad Batch, I wanted to love them so damn much, and I tried. But I think one of the reasons why they never fully clicked for me was that their thing seems to be "we're unique, we never fit in, we're outsiders in our own home, among the people who are supposed to be our own family, and so we've found our home with each other."

Which! That's usually a wonderful message, and not a particularly rare or unique one either for stories! I usually dig these kinds of stories!

The problem here is the extremely unique situation of the clones. They are literally created to be identical, brain washed to be uniform. They must conform, or are killed off by their creators, and their conformity isn't a choice in the slightest, but one of fear and necessity.

Their uniformity is something that they are also entirely aware of--it's unavoidable, they're clones. Once out in the real galaxy, they all strive to find and establish unique identities for themselves, struggling against a galaxy that just wants them to be faceless products. It's a shared struggle, and all they have are each other, and their brotherhood is sacred as a result. Shunning unique identity is the opposite of who a clone is--it's what they all want.

So on one hand, it's understandable that the Batch stuck out (when all others who would have also stuck out were culled, when individuality isn't allowed). It's understandable that they would have yearned for the brotherhood shared by the other clones, and when they couldn't have it, they stuck closer to each other. It's even understandable that they would feel bitter, having experienced bullying at the hands of the other clones (but isn't it also understandable that the other clones would feel bitter that the Batch gets special treatment, when their own brothers with less-than-beneficial mutations were taken by the Kaminoans to never return?).

And so we have this batch of clones, who the Kaminoans call "mutated," but also specify that their mutations are "desirable" (implying what happens to mutations that are undesirable...). They have their own unique unit, in which they're able to improvise and act freely with seemingly little to no oversight, so long as they complete their mission. No Jedi to obey, no nat-born officers who look down on them. In fact, they look so different from standard clone troopers that most of the galaxy probably don't even know they are clones. They have their own ship (personalized), they have their own possessions (which we don't really see any other clones have), they have their own barracks (probably also very unique), and they even have access to superior weapons and armor (most of the Batch, minus Echo, seem to be wearing modified Katarn-class armor which is supposed to be for Commandos. we KNOW it holds up better than standard trooper armor).

So I'm sure they had some unpleasant experiences growing up, and I do get it. But at least at "present" end of clone wars, they honestly seem to be living infinitely better than all other clones? They still need to follow orders but they have more freedom, and perhaps most importantly, they have clear uniqueness that is denied almost all other clones. And yes, some of the clones on Kamino bully them, but we've seen NONE of the "regular" clones that we know to be particularly nasty to them, and in fact it's Crosshair who starts it by calling them "Regs."

And how does the Batch respond to this situation? By acting superior. It's Crosshair who says and it believes this firmly, and I do feel that the others are likely mostly influenced by this, but it's also true that Hunter, Wrecker, and Tech don't really deny this either. They don't like the "regs," they do act like they're "better." Poor Echo, who they repeatedly seem to forget is in the room, and who they call "machine" and such...yikes yo

So I guess the point is, I just really struggled to feel sympathetic towards them, and was already on a kinda eh about their premise. They're marketed as "the special clone squad"--and yet they're not nice to the clones I love. I thought that wasn't great, but also hoped that the series would work towards them understanding the other clones better, and I love character development so that woulda been fine--but, nothing. A glance from Hunter at Howzer. Extended camaraderie from Gregor, who I feel they mostly just tolerate for the mission, other than Echo who genuinely cares.

And on top of feeling not feeling particularly sympathetic towards what I saw as a pretty privileged group of clones, the Batch seems to place primary blame of their woes on the "regs" themselves, who again, honestly seem far worse off! There isn't blame directed at the people who demanded the conformity from the other clones in the first place, that made it so the Batch couldn't fit in. The Batch was modified due to the Kaminoans (and implied specifically Nala Se). She's the reason why they don't fit in. And the Kaminoans are also why the other clones have to be so uniform, why they must fight to be people and not products.

Bitterness and pettiness can be fine in characters. But it's frustrating to see in a group supposed to be competent and elite, especially when those feelings have consequences. Sure, it sucks when someone throws a food tray at you. You can throw food back. It's not an equal reaction to feel no remorse when you shoot that guy dead in a blaster fight, when for all other clones, having to kill another clone is one of the most horrible, tragic things that one can do (thanks, Umbara).

Fives was the only clone to actually point a blaster at Nala Se.

We know Omega has deeply personal history with Nala Se. She was Nala Se's personal medical assistant. We see her cry when she takes off her head ornament that matches Nala Se. We know that being back in the lab gives Omega complicated, and probably not entirely positive feelings. But we barely learn more about this relationship, other than these glimpses.

And I get the feeling that to Omega at least, Nala Se wasn't all terrible. If Omega grew up with mostly only Nala Se for company, she had to have gotten her sheltered outlook on life, and her willingness to help others from somewhere. Nala Se intentionally let Omega go, to be "safe."

I think Omega's adorable, and I do like her. But I wasn't able to fully love her to the extent I wanted to, because there was always the fear that she was involved in the creation and implantation of the chips. She knows about them, she would have been positioned to do so. I want to think she would never, and I was hoping the show would reassure us of that, but it never did. We don't actually know how Omega feels about Nala Se, or even the chips and their presence in other clones. Instead, all we know is that Omega doesn't like "regs."

And again, "they call me lab scrubber," and "I helped put (or am complicit in putting) mind control devices in their heads," are kinda, unequal. Again I hope it's not the case. But it definitely kept me feeling uneasy throughout the show.

It really boils down to I don't trust or forgive Nala Se, and the Batch's lack of stance against her and the other Kaminoans, and clear distaste for their other clone brothers, really puts them in a situation that makes it difficult for me to take their side entirely.

And then gosh, Hunter. During Crosshair's whole "you never came back for me," spiel, I couldn't help but think he's kinda right. He had 15 episodes. Sure, it's difficult to get Crosshair back. But they could have done something. They could have done research. We could have had scenes of them wondering where Crosshair is, discussions on how best to find him, even if that discussion ended in, "but we can't risk it right now." They could have grilled Omega for information on the chips, which they really shoulda done either way, but especially since that knowledge is important to understanding what (they thought had) happened to Crosshair. Instead, they just ran every time Crosshair showed up. The show could have done better to show that they cared, and were trying, instead of just, y'know, doing chores for Cid. One, "I kinda miss him," doesn't really count as working on getting him back, at least in my books.

The sole exception to all of this, of course, is Echo. Who really, he works with the Batch fine, he's a former ARC and can more than keep up. Skillset-wise, he fits in well enough. But this season really made me wonder why he's with them at all. Crosshair's revelation and true feelings at the end of the season were no surprise to me, as they're consistent with what we've seen of him from TCW S7. But for Echo, a former "reg" to have to work with someone like Crosshair...even if Crosshair thought Echo was "different" enough to accept him, those are his brothers that Crosshair thinks he's so superior to, and has no issue speaking disdainfully about.

The increasing tension between Echo and Hunter, Echo's interest in helping Rex, in helping other clones, in doing something...I do hope they reach a point where Echo demands they go help, or he's leaving.

They gave Crosshair a chance, despite the fact that his choices were willing. I really hope Echo can convince the Batch to help save the other clones who don't have a choice. Because even if the Batch doesn't consider them their brothers, they're certainly Echo's. They matter just as much as Crosshair, and I really hope season 2 shows it narratively.

To conclude, again I'm interested in seeing what happens next, and I want answers about Omega and Nala Se. I find it interesting that they tied the facility where they took Nala Se in with the scientist dude collecting data on Grogu in the Mandalorian and those cloning labs. All of this is interesting, but at the same time I feel like it's trying to build up to Snoke/Palpatine stuff in the sequels which...I don't care nearly as much about, but who knows, could be neat ^ ^;

I'm okay with, and have made peace with the fact that the Bad Batch probably isn't the "clones-centric" show I wanted, and that they'll continue their own story, and probably continue to not care much about other clones in upcoming seasons. That's unfortunate, but alright. I'm interested enough in their story too.

But at the same time...I can't help but think man, if they have the time and budget to do a season 2, after seeing what was (or wasn't) accomplished in season 1...I wish they'd also make a Rex/Cody/Wolffe/"regular clones" show, because in the end, if you're going to do a "clones show"....that's who I want to see most.

If you got to the end, thank you for reading, and being an ear to my ranting ^ ^; Again this is literally just getting this off my chest. If this take isn't one you agree with, please just ignore. For people who did fall in love with the Batch, I'm happy for you, and regret that it just couldn't happen for me. But, I'm hoping that S2 will change my mind, but we'll just have to see! ^ ^;

#the bad batch #bad batch #YukiPri rambles #really i'm not interested in a debate i just want to ramble

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ladykatakuri · 3 years ago

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Layers

Pairing: Wrecker x Reader

Word Count: 2221

Warnings: Just fluffy and a kiss! Wrecker is not just the hug-a-bear we all love, he is more !

Song Lyrics: Faith of the Heart performed by : Russel Watson

Summary: People always judge you by your so-called defects, but Wreck…” Carefully you place a finger under his chin and lift it. “You are a man with so many layers to discover. Beside your sweet and gentle nature, your love of explosions and bets with Cross on who can destroy the most clankers and your deep affection for your family, there is so much more.

So a Wrecker one shot i made. I think there is far more to the man then has been shown until now and i hope that we will get to see more in depth about all of our sweet Batch in season 2 ( and yes I mean all of them when i say Batch! Crosshair included! )

The Havoc Marauder always seemed as a small home to you all. There was enough space to sit and relax, sleep after a mission or work while underway to whatever planet it was the lot of you would go to, to earn some credits. It was a home away from home, even though you also had a new home base on Ord Mantel. The Marauder was that bit more special because it was the last part of home that the guys had left after defecting from the Empire. Today it seemed to be a refuge for one of the guys and you were glad it was parked on Ord Mantel. Now at the very least, you could spend some time with him, without having to worry that one of the others would walk in on the two of you, without having to worry that he would shut you out again.

“Wrecker….” You walk up to the man currently sitting with his back against the wall of the Marauder. It took you a minute to realise he had taken refuge in the hull and you would not let him get away with withdrawing himself from you again.

“Wrecker, you know you can talk to me right? If not me, then you should find someone to talk to. Please Wreck, don't shut me out.” You slide down next to him on the floor and put a hand on his arm.

When he turns his head to you, you see his watery smile. As much as he is always the cheery and positive man around his family, he now seems to have withdrawn from it all to suffer alone. “I… I don't know where to even start Mini.”

Mini, the name he has given you when you first met and it never left. It became his sweet nickname for you, knowing that you never felt secure about yourself. You had always been well aware you were more weighty then most of the women crowding around the troopers at 79s and all the women flocking towards the men of the Bad Batch whenever they showed up in a bar. The clones who were the majority of the visitors to 79s never looked at you as someone different because of looks though and Wrecker and his brothers were very quick to point out how sweet they found you and how special you had become to them when you joined their little family. To Wrecker you were the most beautiful person in the galaxy as well. He named you Mini, because compared to him, almost everyone was small and you were no different in that. Softly patting his arm you tell him to start where he wants to start.

It's been a long road

Getting from there to here

It's been a long time

But my time is finally near

“I guess, I just wonder where it all will end, or when it all will end. Omega is still just a kid ya know? She is growing up fast, but she is supposed to be a kid. She should be playing with other kids and having fun, bringing home stray animals as pets and kiss a special someone…. Well not kiss, that would not be alright with me and the guys, but when she is older…. But she is learning how to fight and kill now and she is a fugitive with us. It ain't right.” He almost shouts out the words, as if it was blocking his every thought and had to be thrown out there. “I know it wouldn't be much of a life on Kamino for her and all, but still… Is this the right thing to do for her? To keep her with us where she is always in danger?”

You know it is a sentiment that all of the men have had at one point, but Wrecker who bonded strongly with the young girl, as the older brother, felt strongly protective of his little sibling and feared greatly for her safety. With what you hoped to be a reassuring smile you look at him. “Wreck, I know you worry. But this is also Omega`s choice. You all wanted to give her a chance at a more normal life with Cut and Suu. She chose to be with you and live her life with you. You are her family and family is all that matters to her and to you.”

For the first time he grins. “Yeah, she is stubborn ey? Guess she has that in common with us.” Reaching to his side, he grabs a bag of his favorite snack, most times shared with the young girl after a mission. “Want some Mantel Mix too? “ He offers you the bag and you grab a handful of the mix. Popping some in his mouth he chews while staring at the wall opposing you. “Remember how we first got to talk? It was in the hull of the Marauder as well.”

And I can feel the change in the wind right now

Nothings in my way

And they're not gonna hold me down no more

No they're not gonna hold me down

You had been travelling with the guys for a while now, getting used to the day to day business and to being somewhat of a sister figure to Omega. You were no warrior, no clone and no mechanic or medic. You were just the person who was easy in making connections with people when you decided to give it a real try and you knew how to prepare meals from whatever was lying around that was edible. And even more important, you befriended the Bad Batch and covered for them when it was first announced they had defected from the Empire. Knowing how close you had grown to the men, you were under investigation and the guys quickly decided to get you away from the Empire's clutches as fast as they could.

Each of the Batch had grown rather attached to you and Omega clung to you, especially when it came to doing the girly stuff. You enjoyed it immensely but it was Wrecker who surprised you the most. The man had always been considered a simple person that loved explosions and fighting and having his sweet snacks. He could party like the best of them and that was all there was to him. Boy, did he surprise you when you walked in on him one night.

You had been on the way to some remote planet in the Outer Rim. The possibility of finding an ally or foe was small and you needed supplies. Tech and Echo were in the cockpit as usual while Crosshair and Hunter were sound asleep. Omega shared her private sleeping space with you and after a long talk and reading a fantasy story she finally fell asleep. Lula was tucked snugly in with her after which you softly stepped down a ladder and moved to grab something to drink. You stumbled in on Wrecker, concentrated on something on a pad and not hearing you enter the hull. “What ya doing Wreck?” Carefully moving around a crate, you stand beside him and look down.

“Y/N ! You surprised me!.” He quickly puts the pad beside him and looks up to where you stand. I was, well… I was reading something.” He scratches his neck and a slight blush creeps up on his cheeks as he looks at you.

Tilting your head you slide down beside him. “What are you reading?”

For a moment he seems to be debating whether or not he should let you know. Then, he grabs the pad and hands it over to you. When you look at the text displayed you look up. “Wreck, I didn`t know you were interested in this.”

He shyly smiles at you as he takes the pad back. “I like to read about things… Do you know about this man? Asimov? He is really smart. I thought maybe… There is something we can use from what he writes when we face clankers and all.” The sincerity in his voice surprises you a bit.

“I won't say I understand everything this man writes, but it is very interesting. Honestly, I prefer reading different kinds of stories. Romantic novels, historic stories or thrillers and all that. Biographies can be very interesting too and sometimes it can still teach us still I guess.”

Wrecker nods at your every word and a smile beams at you. “You love reading too! Why didn't you tell me? We could share favorites and talk about them if you want? I mean, if that's something you'd like?”

From that moment on, the two of you would share time together whenever you could to talk about the latest story you discovered, about the things either of you did not understand and the other could explain or just reading the same book. More than once it happened that the others would walk in on the two of you, you with your head against him, him with his head in your lap or the other way around, just enjoying the stories you were reading or discussing the stories. Those moments were also the start of Wrecker opening up even more to you about the past and sometimes about his deepest feelings and fears.

Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

And no one's gonna bend or break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith

Faith of the heart

Now right here in the present, you realise that the man you came to love for his love of life and his hidden, deeper layers of personality is severely struggling with everything that has happened up until now. And he needed to work through it, alone and with you. Carefully you lay your head against him. “What else is wrong Wreck? I know it is not only Omega you worry about. You always shut people out when things bother you and you retreat to wherever you can go to vent.”

Wrecker inhales deeply and shifts to wrap his arm around you. “You know Mini, there is so much that happened. Omega is young and a fugitive with us, my chip activated and I almost killed them! Crosshair…. well you know his chip also activated and we lost him for a little while. I`m just happy we got him back again, but he has a lot to work through and he still blames us sometimes. And you….. Mini, you are not safe with us either. They will hurt you if they ever get you. I don't want you to get hurt Mini. I mean, we all have been injured on jobs and stuff, but you and Omega? I would die if something happened to either of you!”

You can hear his heart race as he speaks and feel his body shudder at the thought of you and Omega getting hurt somehow. But, you let him vent every bit of emotion, every bit of anger and fear he has deep inside of himself. He finally decided to open up and let this out. He decided to let you be the one to hear every thought and every struggle he has been fighting with on his own. To so many people he appeared to be a simple man, but you knew better. You knew all too well how many layers there were to this gentle giant.

Pulling away from his body you sit up on your knees in front of him. “Wrecker. You are the most gentle man I have met. You care so deeply for your own and you would sacrifice all that you have and all that you are to ensure their safety. People always judge you by your so-called defects, but Wreck…” Carefully you place a finger under his chin and lift it. “You are a man with so many layers to discover. Beside your sweet and gentle nature, your love of explosions and bets with Cross on who can destroy the most clankers and your deep affection for your family, there is so much more. You are smart, Wrecker. You have an intelligence that defies the understanding of those who always considered you only by your CT number and purpose. And Wreck? You are also the only man I truly, deeply, love.” You place a gentle kiss on his lips as you look him in the eyes.

As you pull back from him, a grin forms around his lips. Without any warning he embraces you and then stands up and slings you over his shoulder. With a high pitched yelp from you, he walks out of the Marauder and into the streets of Ord Mantel. “Time to treat you to some proper dinner, my sweet Mini!”

Before he lowers you back to your feet, he kisses you with a smile.

Out in the back, a man grins and turns around. You only see a glimpse of a red bandana, as Wrecker walks off with his arm wrapped tightly around you. Your Wrecker, a man of deep devotion and many layers to him.

@loth-wolffe@hellothere-generalangsty@chaoticvampirejedi@nahoney22@reluctant-mandalore@kin-rokku@cyroku@m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s@catbustours@uponrightful

I have tagged people I think might like this, if you want to be tagged in future works or do not want to be tagged anymore, please let me know in a messege <3

#wrecker #Wrecker The Bad Batch #Layers #Wrecker x Reader #The Bad Batch #TBB

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ficsnooneaskedfor · 3 years ago

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Bad Batch Labor/Birth headcanons

So I've been attending births for the past 6 years as a doula and student midwife, and since I started writing a fic about a midwife who meets the BB, I can't get this idea out of my head.

So here are my headcanons for how the BB would support their s/o during labor/birth.

Tech: Love him to bits but not gonna lie, he would definitely be the kind of dad as a birth worker I dread being around lol. He honestly means well when he spends the entire pregnancy researching every possible thing. He reads every guide and textbook he can get his hands on, and takes a variety of childbirth education classes. But when his s/o does go into labor, all that education ends up doing more harm than good though.

He knows almost everything that could possibly go wrong and it terrifies him. He questions every suggestion the medical team offers, not because he thinks he knows better than them, it's more he's trying to be a good advocate for his s/o. S/o ends up having to tell him to calm tf down at some point in labor. After they talk, Tech settles down a bit and focuses on keeping his s/o comfortable.

When his s/o is ready to push, Tech becomes strangely quiet and just observes the entire process, holds his s/o hand, and offers words of encouragement occasionally. Doesn't get super emotional after his baby is born, but definitely has to wipe a few tears from his eyes.

Echo: Bless his heart. This man is bad-ass and capable in almost every aspect of his life. Much like Tech, he spends the entire pregnancy doing research and taking classes. But he really struggles when his s/o is in labor. He just can't stand seeing the person he loves in discomfort. Isn't one to have a reaction to blood and stuff normally, but in this situation, he has a hard time.

When his s/o is pushing, he takes a peak and he full-on passes out (yeah this isn't just a tv trope, it actually does happen sometimes). When he comes too, he decides to just stay by his s/o head, feeding them ice chips and cheering them on, telling them how much he loves them. When his baby is born he doesn't cry, he's just in awe. The whole experience makes him fall even more in love with his s/o.

Hunter: Cool as a cucumber. Doesn't seem phased one bit by the whole thing. He gives me "crunchy dad" vibes ngl. What do I mean by that? Like smoke cleansing the delivery room, crystals, essential oils, that sort of thing. He and his s/o definitely took Hypnobirthing classes, per his suggestion. (Hypnobirthing is exactly what it sounds like, a form of self-hypnosis used during labor. Actually very effective in my experience) He uses his soothing voice to help guide his s/o in meditations. Is as hands-on or hands-off as his s/o needs.

When his s/o is pushing, he is catching his baby with no assistance, and no one will tell him otherwise. After his baby is born he is very smiley and giggly, and he is very appreciative of the medical staff. He brings them all cookies and coffee the next day.

Wrecker: Definitely a delivery room comedian. When is s/o is early in labor, he makes jokes and tries to make his s/o laugh. But as labor progresses he knows when to be more serious and less jokey. Helps s/o get into different positions, holds them, and is overall very touchy-feely. If his s/o didn't want to be touched, he wouldn't be offended in the slightest and would find other ways to help them.

When his baby is born, he definitely becomes VERY emotional is extremely protective of his little family. Also brings thank you gifts for the medical staff, but goes for gift cards and bottles of wine instead.

Crosshair: Takes direction from his s/o on their needs. When they ask for a drink, he gets it. Need a massage? Done. He and his s/o would probably use seggy-time activities to cope with labor. (seriously though, it happens more than you might think. I've walked in on some awkward situations over the years). Seems very calm and collected on the outside, but inside he's actually pretty freaked out by everything. If his s/o needed a pep talk during labor, he would remind them how much of a bad-ass they are and that they can do this.

Like Hunter, I think he would also like to catch his baby when they are being born but I think he'd be too scared to do it by himself, so he'd let the doctor or midwife help him. Absolutely adores his new baby, doesn't cry but smiles a lot.

Bonus:

Omega: She is one of those kids that I'm in awe of when they are at a birth. If she was with her brother and their s/o when they were having a baby, she just instinctively knows what to do to help keep everyone relaxed and comfortable. She gets snacks, makes sure they stay hydrated, gives them a massage, draws a bath, etc. Whatever they need, Omega is on top of it. If the birthing person or their s/o didn't want to catch the baby when it's pushing time, Omega would absolutely help do it with no fear or hesitation. In between contractions, she would be whispering words of encouragement to the birthing person, tell them how much she loves them and how proud of them she is. She would definitely cry after the baby was born, and would be the best auntie in the world to that baby.

#the bad batch #sw tbb #bad batch headcanons

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superhusbands4ever · 3 years ago

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life is far away from fair - The Bad Batch (Ao3)

Words: 1562 | Rated: Gen | Hunter & Tech & Crosshair (& Rex, kinda)

Canon through Episode 3: Replacements | Lotta Angst

“Do you think he’s eating enough?”

Hunter pulled his eyes from where he’d been blankly watching the hyperspace lane fly by.

Tech was sitting in the copilot seat, fiddling with his inhibitor chip scanner. Wrecker and Echo were back in the bunks, staying with Omega after the girl had woken them all screaming from a nightmare.

Hunter certainly couldn’t blame her. He shuddered when he thought about their time in that Zygerrian camp, the collars around his brothers necks, Omega’s screaming and crying, begging the slavers to stop as they cracked the electro-whip at his back—

They were all sleeping a little rough after that. Thankfully they’d found Rex’s scrambled beacon not too long after and were able to take a couple of days to relax before Crosshair and his team found them and they had to—

And before Cody—

He was grateful to their ori’vod for helping them escape, but prying Echo from the other man was the hardest thing Hunter had done after leaving Kamino without their kih’vod. He hoped Rex was okay.

He hoped Rex was still alive.

Little gods, everything was so karked these days.

Omega was able to fall back asleep pretty quickly with Wrecker holding her, but Hunter hadn’t been able to, so he offered to take the first watch in the cockpit. They were in hyperspace and on autopilot, so there was really no reason for him to keep watch, but he needed some time to gather his thoughts.

Tech had come in an hour later, mumbling under his breath about Wrecker and Echo snoring before dropping into the seat beside Hunter and messing with his scanner.

They’d been sitting in silence for a while, Hunter lost in his own mind, before Tech’s voice broke through the silence.

He was still toying with the device in his hands, his voice the same clinical monotone as always, and he was carefully avoiding looking in Hunter’s direction.

“He has a faster metabolism of course, so if he doesn’t eat often enough he gets—“

“Dizzy spells,” Hunter finished, watching Tech carefully. “Yeah, I remember.”

“And he’s always been weird about eating,” Tech continued as if Hunter hadn’t spoken. “Statistically speaking, with the number of times we had to take him to the mess ourselves versus the number of times he went willingly, it’s unlikely that he’s—“

“I don’t know if he’s eating, Tech,” Hunter said softly, cutting the man off before he could work himself up. “I hope he is.”

Tech nodded, pulling a small screwdriver from somewhere and poking at his scanner.

It was instantaneous when my chip came out. I still remembered everything I’d done, but I was in control again.

Tech had been quiet about Crosshair since they left Kamino. While Wrecker and Echo and even Omega had expressed some fear for Crosshair and a longing to get him back, Tech hadn’t said much. A few passing comments about the chips, mentioning Cross’s name only when absolutely necessary to the conversation — speaking about their youngest brother almost clinically, as if everything was normal and they hadn’t broken the one rule they set for themselves when they left him behind.

It was strange at first, because he and Cross had always been close. Being the two youngest of the batch they tended to drift together more often than not. Crosshair was a man of few words while Tech tended to be a man of many. They balanced each other out, in a way. Crosshair was the only one Tech tolerated casual touch from. Tech was the only one Crosshair let near him when he was injured or sick. It was weird to be on the ship and see the two of them not in the cockpit together, Tech rambling about something or another while Crosshair rolled his eyes and tried to hide a smile. It was strange, at first, that Tech didn’t seem to want to acknowledge their brother was gone.

Hunter hadn’t said anything about it because he wasn’t sure what to do. Tech tended to struggle with complex emotions. He didn’t always know how to explain what he was feeling, and he struggled socially because of it.

But having known Tech since he was barely over two growth cycles old, Hunter knew Tech was really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything at all. And usually to figure out what he was feeling, actions spoke louder than words.

Theoretically, if you get the chip out, you should get Crosshair back.

He saw the way Tech would clam up and get tongue tied when Crosshair was mentioned. He remembered the way Tech had snapped at him on Salucamai about the chips. He’d leave the room when Wrecker would tell Echo and Omega stories about their time as cadets, the way 99 had brought them together and the way they became the squad they were today.

(Before.)

He saw the way Tech had barely put his inhibitor chip scanner down since their run-in with Rex, constantly fiddling and tinkering with it since Rex told them that the effects of the chip were reversible. Since Rex had given them hope that there was a chance they could get their brother back.

“I don’t understand.”

Hunter looked at Tech, who stared down at the device in his hands.

“You don’t understand what?”

“Why Crosshair?” Tech said slowly, brows furrowing. “All five of us have the chip. Why did only his work? I’ve been trying to figure it out. There’s no logic to it.”

“I don’t know,” Hunter said, having spent too much time asking himself and any higher power in the universe listening the same question. “Sometimes things don’t have a reason. Sometimes things… just happen. There’s not always a logical explanation.”

Tech scowled and his jaw clenched, obviously unsatisfied with the answer, but didn’t argue.

It was like I was watching someone else control my body from the inside. No matter how much I tried to scream, I couldn’t even open my mouth.

“If anything it feels like some kind of sick, cosmic joke,” Hunter finally said the words that had been plaguing him since the order came down and everything changed. “The one clone out of all of us who hated regs and following orders more than anything…”

I was only under its control for a couple of hours at most, but it still felt like a part of me had been ripped out. Sometimes I wake up and I still feel like I’m not myself.

“I hope he’s fighting it.”

Hunter jerked back at the venom in Tech’s tone. It was the most emotion he’d shown the whole conversation, and it was the first time he’d heard Tech sound truly angry about their brother. It was the first time since leaving Kamino that Tech had sounded anything other than indifferent and unperturbed about it all. The tone made him sound so similar to their brother that Hunter was almost surprised to look over and see goggles instead of a crosshair tattoo.

I can’t even imagine how the others might feel. The ones who have been under longer. How much of them are still left.

Tech turned to look at Hunter, finally, and Hunter felt his heart clench at the fire burning in Tech’s eyes.

“I hope he’s fighting back, like he used to,” Tech whispered. “If there’s even a little bit of our Cross’ika left in him, I hope he’s giving them hell.”

I don’t know the long term effects of the chip. I can’t imagine what that might do to someone’s mind.

Hunter thought about Rex, about the way he said he tried to fight the chip before being sucked under its control. That despite realizing what was happening, the split second where he realized Fives was right and this was Palpatine’s plan all along, he’d still been helpless to it’s pull before it dragged him under mentally kicking and screaming.

The order was to execute the Jedi for treason against the Republic, he’d said. But the order also said to execute any clone who refused to comply.

He thought about Crosshair and the way he’d consistently questioned Hunter about letting the Padawan go. The way he’d spit and yelled and called Hunter unfit and incapable, but never lifted a weapon toward them. He’d been angry and confused and lashed out like an frightened and injured tooka backed into a corner.

He did fight it, Hunter desperately wanted to tell his little brother. He already was, he wanted to say, because Crosshair may have yelled and argued and said things that made Hunter feel like he’d been stabbed through the chest, Crosshair never actually tried to stop them, let alone kill them.

But then he thinks of Crosshair in the hanger bay, his vod’ika, armor as blank and empty as the eyes that looked down the scope of the rifle as he shot down Wrecker and taunted Hunter without second thought, and he doesn’t know what to believe.

Once that chip finally comes out, I can’t guarantee how much of the Crosshair you knew will be left behind.

“I hope so, too,” he said instead, praying to the Maker and the Force and Manda and anyone who was listening that by the time they got to Crosshair there was still enough of their baby brother left to be saved.

(that bit with Rex and Cody is a reference to another fic I am currently writing that will be published... eventually idk)

#cady writes #my fic #the bad batch #tbb #tbb hunter #seargent hunter #tbb tech #tbb crosshair #captain rex #the clone wars #clone force 99 #clone trooper tech #clone trooper crosshair

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deans-haunted-baby · 4 years ago

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Best Part of Me

*This is my fix-it of Jack’s reaction to Cas’s death in 15x19 and some of the events in 15x18 rewritten. Featuring a flashback post episode 14x10. I was so disappointed they never really let Jack feel this loss when he dreaded that deal for a whole year. The title is from a song by St Leonards. Enjoy!*

Summery: In Hastings Minnesota, after learning from Dean of Castiel’s sacrifice to the Empty. Jack runs off to be alone somewhere in the deserted town. Breaking down and reliving the last good memory of a hunt he and Cas went on together

Sam and Jack sauntered down the quiet roads, surveying the desolated scenery, coming to a 4-way stop. Nothing but emptiness all around them. Vacant buildings and vehicles, one smashed into a telephone pole. Stores still blinking their neon open signs in the windows. Car alarms blaring off in the distance. But no voices. Not a trace of any souls anywhere. Just nobody. Everyone was gone and the two hunters began feeling like they were starring in that Chuck Heston flick The Omega Man.

Jack could see his tall, anguished mentor was distracted, often checking his phone for calls in case Dean or Eileen or maybe Cas… Desperately searching inside the unoccupied cafes and stores in case they missed someone. He’d been beating himself up all night for not being able to save the AU world survivors. And it was driving him crazy not hearing from his brother for the past 12 hours.

“We should’ve heard from them by now.” Sam blurted; quickening his pace towards a truck. Peeking inside. “Come on Dean, where are you?”

“You think they’re alright?” Jack asked uncertain.

“I don’t know. But you were the last person to talk to Cas.” Sam approached the boy getting restless. “What; did he say anything to you before you guys got cut off?”

Immediately Jack stopped; swallowing hard as he lowered his eyes to the pavement. “No…not really.”

The truth was Jack couldn’t get over this weird twinge he felt in his chest; an ache that refused go away. Like a piece of him had been severed and now he was nursing the phantom pain. The Nephilim boy had it ever since the last time he spoke to his father on his phone…before they were abruptly interrupted by static. Last night the group had split. Dean and Castiel went to confront Billie at the bunker while Jack stayed behind with Sam at the hideaway to protect the remaining people that hadn’t been erased. Next thing he knows survivors are disappearing in front of him, people he knew. Friends and fellow hunters. And then his phone set to vibrate; buzzes irritably in his jacket pocket to which he’d fished it out.

________________________________________

Several hours earlier

“Jack!” the angel’s gruff voice was urgent. But relieved when his son had answered. “Oh, thank heavens.”

“Cas?” the young boy chirps; raking his fingers through his hair. Still not over the shock of seeing all their people vanish and exchanging disturbed looks with Sam. “Cas are you and Dean okay? Did Billie?”

“No, we’re fine,” he replies back; tone switching from critical to sudden despair. “What about you and Sam, the survivors?”

Jack’s face fell on the verge of tears; pacing away from the tall hunter and leaning against the wall.

“They’re gone.” He chokes out. “All of them… Cas…Sam and I tried…we tried… It happened so fast… We just couldn’t save anyone.”

The Nephilim boy heard a heavy sign on the other end then Castiel says, “It wasn’t your fault Jack. None of this is your fault, alright.”

“No, I could’ve done something! If-if I still had my powers, I could’ve protected all of us!”

“Jack, no. Don’t do that to yourself. There was nothing you could’ve done and you did all you could do, okay.” The angel encourages firmly though soft. Giving Jack a chance to calm down before he adds. “Listen…there’s something I…need to tell you…in case anything happens.”

Jack’s heart rose in his throat. “What do mean in case something happens to you?” he demands; voice rising. “Cas what’s wrong?”

“Nothing…yet.”

“What does that mean?”

“You remember what we talked about?” There’s something in Castiel’s question that begins to worry the young Nephilim. “The night we were hunting in Albuquerque?”

Jack let out a sharp intake of breath. “Yes but…what does that have to do with right now?”

The angel hesitates briefly and resumes a response; spontaneously changing the subject.

“I’m so proud of you Jack. I’m proud of the person you are and who you’re becoming,” Castiel’s deep baritone was gentle as it always was whenever he spoke to his son. Never above a decimal than he had to; reserving his emotions. Yet the sadness was unmistakable. “The day that I met you and your mother…changed my life forever. When you chose me…I knew…I knew the moment when I first connected with you through Kelly…felt your love…that I wanted to be your father. And I never felt more happiness in all my eons than I did raising you.”

“Cas why’re saying this?” Jack stuttered; his eyes glistening. He was so confused over the angel’s choice of phrases. “Don’t…”

“Jack I…I need you to do something for me…alright?”

Castiel’s request was blunt yet sudden, jerking the young Nephilim out of his afflicted stupor. “What is it?”

“I want you to look after Sam and Dean for me,” He says melancholically. “Can you do that?”

“Why? What about you?” Jack gasps; his whole-body trembling; going cold. Sinking into a corner holding his knees. Yet he tries to maintain his anxiety during the situation. “Cas, you’re scaring me.”

“I know this is going to be difficult for you to understand but…I want you to be strong, Jack. Stronger than you’ve ever been… To never give up on yourself no matter what. Because I know you will do amazing things one day. I believe in that. I’ve only ever seen good in you.”

“Cas…”

The angel pauses, and with another sigh he reveals, “I love you, son. I love you more than anything in the whole world… You’re the best part of me, Jack… I’m happy because of you; for the time we got together. And I just wanted you to know that…”

Jack could hardly speak his throat clogged. Tears now rolling down his cheeks. He wanted to return those words so badly, his chest swelling like something crushed him from the inside. Finally untangling the muscles in his neck, he pleads.

“Cas…Dad, wait I-” just as the Nephilim boy is about confess the line goes dead mid-sentence followed with an indescribable pain hitting him in the heart; causing Jack to drop his cell in defeat. Muttering the words to himself. “…I love you too.”

________________________________________

Present time

Not long after the two hunters had given up their search for signs of life, did they hear a familiar engine of a car. And a black 67’ impala wheeled around the corner of the street; parking beside two large plants in front of a blue and white store. Dean, he was alive. Sam and Jack wanted to feel elated at that moment…until they saw him exit the vehicle. Alone. And the Nephilim boy’s chest pains increased. Why wasn’t Castiel with him? Jack was too afraid to even ask in case he got an answer he didn’t want. So instead, the three guys traded bleak looks in the middle of the road; minding the fragments of what was once a functioning civilization.

“Everyone’s gone,” Sam says to Dean; barely leveling his shock. Looking around with that false hope someone else might pop up. Then he glances back at his older brother who’s avoiding his gaze. “You see anybody on the way here?”

“No.” the elder Winchester replies huskily. His expression tormented. Again, Jack is afraid of reading him too closely.

Sam fidgeted on the spot; squints his eyes and imparts, “I couldn’t save anybody.” A hint of bitterness enflames his voice at the thought of that reaper. “Billie.”

“It wasn’t Billie. It was Chuck.” Dean discloses.

“What?”

Right then Jack couldn’t keep quiet anymore. He needed to know the truth; impulsively jumping into the conversation.

“Where’s Cas?” His voice was harsh.

The taller Winchester peered over his shoulder at the Nephilim boy but Dean couldn’t even give him direct eye-contact. Visibly shaken. Jack had detected redness within the whites of his puffy eyes. He was so anguished about something that it made the other two hunters nervous. Finally, its Sam’s turn to inquire about the angel’s whereabouts.

“Dean, where is he?”

The elder Winchester was apprehensive; staring off vacantly. Hanging his head and licking his lips trying to conjure up the best explanation he could which might lessen the blow. But Jack was impatient; arms at his sides. Heart pounding with fear. He doesn’t want excuses he just wants a straight answer from his other mentor about his dad. And he was going to get it whether he liked it or not.

“He saved me. Billie was coming after us and…Cas fought her off until we found someplace safe,” asserts Dean and he looks over at Jack who’s getting paler listening to the story. “While you and Cas were…speaking on the phone, he summoned the Empty. It took her. And it took him…” Jack’s heart instantly sank to his stomach. No, this couldn’t be true. No. The Nephilim boy backpedaled, shaking his head in disbelief. Noticing the tears in the hardened hunter’s eyes. “I’m so sorry Jack… Cas is gone.”

Sam’s grief had swallowed him up whole; touching his face with both hands. Struggling to keep it together. But Jack was the opposite. Standing there wearing a hollow smile; releasing a counterfeit laugh.

“No, that’s not true,” argues the Nephilim. “I just talked to him last night. He was okay.”

Sam attempted to console the boy; quickly wiping at his wet face. “Jack.”

“Cas’s fine you’ll see. He’s coming back. He has to come back. I didn’t get to tell him I loved him too.”

But Dean hardly in the mood for sentiments wouldn’t play along. “Jack, he-he’s not… Cas isn’t coming back. I’m sorry.” As Sam tries to reach his hand out to touch the young Nephilim’s shoulder, he receives a heated defensive glare.

Nobody touches him there except for Castiel. NO ONE.

“NO!” Jack barks jerking his body away from the taller hunter’s grasp; face beet red. Even though he already knew. Felt the truth in his heart all along the second that line went dead; the boy had been reluctant to accept it. He was too overwhelmed with denial. “I said Cas’s is coming back! HE’S COMING BACK!”

“Jack, wait!”

Quickly the Nephilim storms off in a random direction of the street; ignoring the Winchesters’ shouts behind him. It didn’t matter where he was going, he just needed to get away from them. Away from the sunlight. From the noise. Away from everything else still standing. Into nothingness. Somewhere that didn’t feel so loud or enclosed. Putting a palm to his head, Jack starts to feel dizzy and an urge to vomit. His vision blurred and his legs began to wobble each step he took. Nothing felt real anymore. It was terrifying.

He could hardly breathe as if something were suffocating him.

Over and over, Jack’s mind is racing in between panicked breaths. “Cas? Cas, where are you?” Reaching his hand out in front of him like a blind person; aimlessly searching for that invisible tether that bound him to the trench-coated angel. Receiving nothing but a light breeze against his skin. “Dad, please, tell me where you are?”

At last, the Nephilim boy stumbles on an old dessert parlor. Sammy’s Highway Café. Despondently gawking at the stupid giant pink milkshake on top of the sign. Walking inside not caring whether he was trespassing or not. The lights were off but Jack could see traces that this place was thriving not too long ago. It smelt of stale food and drink; evident of half eaten platefuls of burgers with fries and empty glasses sitting on top of some of the booth tables. Along the counter was a partially bitten donut beside a cold mug of coffee. A receipt with some money next to the till. And draped on one of the stools, it seemed as though someone had left their beige jacket which resembled so much like the angel’s trench.

Fragments and memories…of live people. Before Chuck took them…just like Castiel. His father.

Stepping towards a jukebox tilting his head, Jack’s blue eyes meet a half-full glass of milkshake sitting on the table close by. Pink, like the one on the sign outside. It disgusted him. A serge of hatred suddenly overflowed his body; knocking it onto the floor and smashing into pieces on impact. Unable to avoid the dibble of pink goo getting on his jeans only enraged the Nephilim more. Resulting in a fit of fury; swiping everything off the counter. Kicking at stray contents clinging to his shoes. His throat clogged up as the anger gave way to uncontrollable sobs. He wanted the pain to stop, but no matter how many things he destroyed, the hurt wouldn’t leave him.

“Cas you liar! YOU LIAR!” he howled; covering his tearful face with one hand collapsing into a corner. Crying. “You said you’d still be with me!”

For over an hour Jack sat like this; breaking down into his palms over his knees. Shedding more tears than he ever thought possible. Practically wearing his eyes out. It was his fault. He should’ve said it back, why didn’t he say it back? Why could he never tell the angel how much he’d meant to him when it counted? Jack wanted the tears to stop the but every time he tapped into an arbitrary memory of Castiel’s face smiling back at him or giving him that infamous sage advice. Heard that soft raspy voice saying his name. The pain worsened causing Jack to cry harder and longer.

All of a sudden, a sharp jab interrupted his grief. Jack was just about to grab the thing whatever it was and toss it until he realized what it was. Digging inside the sleeve of his white jacket, the Nephilim pulls out a single silver angel blade. Jack had completely forgot he’d been carrying it around with him since yesterday. No much longer than that, he carried it all the time in his clothes for a year now as it was very special to him. Wiping at his eyes, Jack clutches the blade and is instantly transported back into a memory of when he’d first received the weapon.

________________________________________

One Year Earlier

Castiel and Jack were in the outskirts of Albuquerque hunting a couple rugarus in the process of kidnapping a family in a warehouse. Around this time the young Nephilim was on probation for using his powers in the fight against AU Michael’s monsters. Ending with the unholy archangel prince trapped inside Dean’s mind. The reason for the restrictions was because of the resurrection spell keeping Jack alive. Every time he used power, he’d burn off part of his soul; something Castiel and the Winchesters did everything possible to prevent. And the best distraction for boy was usually going on some Team Free Will 2.0 hunts.

“Jack, NOW!” the angel shouts, wrestling with the second monster after his son successfully torches the first.

“I got it!” the Nephilim calls back, aiming the flamethrower nozzle ready to blast the creature. He’d remembered Sam and Dean’s specific instructions that the only way to kill a rugaru was to burn them. And he would’ve if he hadn’t frozen on the spot; Castiel would’ve been fried otherwise. There was no way, he couldn’t risk it. “I-I can’t! I can’t get him!”

“Jack, what are you doing?!”

“I don’t want to burn you!”

Immediately the angel groans grumpily. “It’s not holy fire!”

Jack wasn’t a gambler. “Yah but-

“Jack!”

Running out of time, the frantic young hunter goes over another strategy in his mind. He wasn’t willing to singe his dad to stop a monster. And that’s when it hit him. Reckless though it just might work.

“Wait, Cas let him go!” he clamors.

“What?!” Castiel was mystified at how crazy that plan was.

“Just let him go, trust me!”

Taking on too much faith the angel puts his trust in his son anyway and releases the rugaru; dodging out of range. As expected, it instantly launches at the nonchalant Jack who’s armed and ready with the flamethrower; projecting a lethal jet fuel of fire. The Nephilim then covers his ears as the creature releases high pitched throat screeches; its entire body engulfed until the thing’s charcoal hide falls lifeless to the ground. Breathing a sign of relief, Jack stares at the dead monster; spacing out. Brought back to reality when he hears the angel grumbling and rushes to his aid.

“Are you okay?” he asks his dad breathily; helping him to his feet.

“Yah, I’m fine.” Castiel belches; still sore from the fight. As an angel he was much stronger than a human, though it still hurt getting punched in the ribs. And the monsters he tangled with were far from weaklings. “So that was your plan? Just let him go, huh?”

Jack shrugged smirking. “It worked didn’t it?”

“Yes, it did.” The reluctant blue-eyed angel agrees dryly; giving his son an affectionate shoulder pat. “Come on, we’re not finished yet.”

“What do we have to do now?”

“Tend to the civilians.”

After releasing the captive family, Castiel and Jack resumed the dreary task of getting rid of the rotten smelling corpses and packing their things into the aquamarine pickup truck. The night air was hot accompanied with the usual sounds of owls and crickets chirping. Jack’s busily loads the flamethrower into the back compartment, unaware his father is taking a moment to gaze at him. Expressionless though underneath that reserved exterior is admiration. Despite using none of his powers, the boy had handled himself just as he’d done the other several times they’d hunted together.

Castiel couldn’t help feeling impressed with Jack; overwhelmed with a sense of pride. He’d come a long way in his training in such a short time; picking up skills faster than the angel had seen any human. But Jack wasn’t just getting better at the combat or the weaponry. His mind functioned more acutely than any other hunter in the field. And he wasn’t even three years old yet. Still there was something about tonight’s hunt that bothered Castiel. His son had nearly given into his own fear. Fear of losing…him; which could’ve costed them the lives of the family they were saving.

“Well, we’re all packed.” Jack announces gleefully; turning to the angel.

Stonily, Castiel approached the young Nephilim.

“Good.” He says; scratching his hair. “Ah Jack…can we talk about what happened back there?”

The question made the boy frown, unwinding his jaw. “Oh…right… Yah, I-I’m really sorry, Cas. I didn’t mean to-” He stopped himself.

But the angel finished his sentence. “To freeze?”

“Yah.” Jack hung his head in shame.

“Do you know why?”

Did he know why? Of course, he did! Jack was afraid. Afraid of hurting Castiel. No…he was scared of losing him and had been ever since that deal he’d made with the Empty. For the past month it’d been daunting on Jack the severity of his dad’s sacrifice; what it meant. Tried as he might to pretend it didn’t trouble him. Smiling, acting normal. the Nephilim secretly agonized over the angel’s fate. To the point where it either made him overprotective of Castiel or reckless during hunts. Just like tonight.

“I…just didn’t want to set you on fire too, that’s all.” Jack answers vaguely earning his dad’s titled scrutinized glare.

Being as close as they were, Castiel was pretty astute at reading his son’s body language. Knowing when he wasn’t entirely honest. “Are you sure that’s what it was…or was there something else holding you back?”

Jack swallowed, averting his gaze. And it dawns on the angel, sighing, looking heavenward. He didn’t need a verbal explanation; putting his hand on his son’s shoulder in an attempt to console him.

“Oh Jack, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how tough this has been for you.”

“I can’t help it,” concedes the young Nephilim; his gaze shiny. “I know you said not to worry about you but…I am. All the time. And when I keep thinking about that deal you made… I get this…awful feeling in my stomach. Like I’m being torn apart…from the inside.”

Castiel’s reserved face promptly falls, listening intently as Jack confides his deepest fears. Knowing that this deal had been causing his son so much grief pained him. The angel felt like someone had just run him through with his own sword.

“Cas I…I love you. And I don’t want to lose you. Not to the Empty or to anything.”

Parting his lips and softening his eyes; slowly absorbing everything he was hearing. Castiel was touched; taking a deep breath before reassuring. “But Jack, that rugaru was barely a threat to me. And you know my deal with the Empty… I’m far from happy for it to take me away any time soon.”

“What if I don’t want it to ever take you?” Jack remonstrates; defiantly scowling.

“I’m afraid its not that simple.” Sadly, contests the angel.

“But…I don’t want to lose you. I hate even thinking about it.”

“I know…so do I.”

Together the angel and the Nephilim boy endure a tender moment, leaning against the tail end of their truck side-by-side; taking small solace in each other’s company. And quietly gazing at the stars. Then out the blue a bright twinkle catches Castiel’s eye; reminding him of something he’d forgotten. His present to Jack. They’d been so wrapped up in dealing with Michael’s shenanigans, he hadn’t even found the time to give it to him yet. Delving into one of his trench-coat sleeves, Castiel presents the dumbfounded Nephilim with a polished angel blade.

“Cas what…why are you giving me this?”

Castiel pursed his gentle smile and winked. “Call it a late Christmas present. I’ve ah, I’ve been meaning to give it to you…when I felt there was a more appropriate time.”

Jack furrowed his brows; observing the weapon. “Your angel blade?”

He humbly accedes.

“Not just any angel blade but…its the very first one I ever fought with.” Divulges the docile angel. With two fingers he carefully touches the tip, devotedly looking over Jack’s awestruck expression. “I won many battles with this blade…for millions upon millions of years. Just when I thought I’d fall…this weapon seemed to…save my life. And I started to look at it as more of a…good luck charm I guess.”

“Cas I…I don’t know if I should take this. It means too much to you.”

“Jack, I want you to have it. Sort of a celestial warrior’s birthright and with your archangel half technically being of royal lineage…and you’re my son.” The young Nephilim grinned at him somberly; working the blade in his hand. And Castiel pauses giving himself a minute to think about what he was going to say to his son next as it would be difficult. Exhaling heavily, he conveys. “But I also want you have it…as a reminder that…wherever I am…I’ll always be with you.”

At this Jack’s eyes find his dad’s; expression dismal absorbing Castiel’s every word. “Because someday Jack its true, I won’t be here and you’ll have to carry on with your life. I can’t say when it will happen…it could be months or years… Whether it’s the Empty or something else…we will be separated… And it will hurt…” The Nephilim boy’s lip quivered as he holds back oncoming tears; looking away. Pain twisting all his insides; he didn’t like this conversation. Though Jack’s ears and heart remained open to the angel; touching his chest using his index finger. “But just because I won’t physically be here anymore…doesn’t mean I’m gone, Jack. I’m right there…within you. Whenever you need me. You understand?”

“I think so.”

Without warning Castiel embraces Jack in a bone-crushing hug; chins touching shoulders. Closing their eyes. And they held each other tight; savoring every single second of that closeness.

“I love you Jack.”

And Jack whispers out of earshot. “I love you too…Dad.”

________________________________________

Present time

Just like that the memory passed. Jack was back in the café he roughed up earlier. Alone. Curled up in fetal position, clutching the precious gift his father had given him; tears still streaming down his face. Hair matted and moist; clothes soiled. And his heart as broken as that milkshake glass he’d smashed on the floor. Castiel was gone. His dad was gone… Forever… It didn’t feel real, more like a nightmare. A nightmare Jack desperately wanted to wake up from. He couldn’t even think about moving his body it hurt too much. Whenever he tried lifting his head the dizziness settled in and he sunk back into his depression.

“No, I can’t do this.” Jack thoughts bombarded; gawking the angel blade in his grip. “I can’t keep lying here feeling sorry for myself. He wouldn’t want that, not after giving his life for me. I’m supposed to be a hunter and a celestial warrior. I have to be stronger now.”

Using every muscle at his disposal, Jack forces himself up off the floor. Grabbing a stool and countertop for support. His whole body ached; weighted down like it was full of dumbbells yet he didn’t quit moving. Jack could hear Castiel’s voice in his mind, encouraging him like he’d always done on hunts and during one of their sparring sessions in the gym.

“Come on Jack, get up! Get up now!”

“Yes, I will,” the Nephilim promises himself; gnashing his teeth. Lumbering forward on his wobbly legs ignoring the agony. “I won’t let you down Cas! I swear I won’t.”

“That’s it Jack, come on! You’re almost there!”

“Okay!”

One foot in front of the other. Jack slowly repeats this method of awkward walking until all the muscles in his legs have loosened and are functioning properly. As he’s feeling more mobile the pain is subsiding. It’s not quite gone but it’s not intolerable either. In fact, the Nephilim uses it to power through the wreckage and towards the exit. Drying his eyes with the back of his palm. Before Jack realizes it, he’s already reached the door pushing it open. And on his way to search for the Winchesters. Because he’s not alone… He’ll never be alone. He has his family. And Castiel is always with him; guiding him.

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the-cookie-of-doom · 4 years ago

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Were somewhere in the vicinity of LHAW which I never manage to do in time dammit, but here's an idea

Fresh after the Fire, Laura and Derek are in New York, shell shocked and afraid for their lives, just trying to stay alive and safe.

While trying to keep everything together, Laura meets Mitch. He seems sweet enough, but Laura can't trust him, not now. Mitch doesn't press for anything. He makes whatever assumptions he does, and doesn't do anything more than sometimes text Laura or ask her out for coffee/study dates. He wants to be her friend, and isn't that something?

Little by little, she lets him in. Lowers her walls Just enough to see over. She wants to trust him. She's so tired of being alone, having to be the strong one, the Alpha, taking care of everything. She wants someone to lean on.

A few months in they start dating. Mitch is still sweet as ever, never pushes for anything Laura doesn't want to give, and handles her mood swings amazingly well. Eventually she tells him a sanitized version of the truth, to explain why she is the way he is. Mitch tells her about his own father, who died when he was a teenager, and then his first girlfriend was murdered almost 2 years ago. It's not the same thing as losing everyone, but he kinda of gets it.

Despite all of her instincts and fear telling her not to, she begins to trust Mitch. She can't find any reasons not to: he seems like a genuinely kind and caring person, and she needs that.

The first time they sleep together, Laura doesn't notice anything is off. Everything is actually really good, distractingly so. But later, when he gets out of bed ringer dressed again, Laura notices the tattoo on his shoulder: he's a hunter.

Flashes of Kate and fire and death run through her mind, and all she can think is, how could she be so naïve? This is exactly how Kate got to Derek.

Laura attacks him, and sure enough, he fights like a hunter, too. Knows exactly how to use her weaknesses to overcome her before she kills him, and oh, is she going to tear his throat out with her teeth.

It's not an easy struggle. There's shouting and crashing furniture and blood and Mitch is lucky Derek isn't home or he would be dead. As it is, he keeps trying to make Laura listen to him; insisting that he's not like other hunters, as if she can believe that. "Have I done anything since we met to make you think I'd ever want to hurt you?"

Mitch has never had very good self-preservation instincts. When he sees he's not getting through to Laura, he lets her go and dares her kill him. If that's what she thinks he deserves, then fine, to for it, he's at her mercy.

She wants to. All the pent up rage and grief and injustice makes her inhuman, bloodlust singing through her veins. But she knows Mitch had nothing to do with her family, even if he is a hunter. And she's not like them. She won't do anything to anyone who hasn't hurt her first.

Laura demands he gets out of the apartment. She doesn't want to see him ever again. Mitch doesn't try to fight this time. Got his shoes and phone and left without another word, before she can change her mind, and Laura finally cries. The betrayal and the heart break and the fear finally breaks her. What if she hadn't caught him tonight? She per the last of her family at risk by letting a hunter into their home, and she may not have realized until it was too late. It's worse when she realizes she's still wearing Mitch's shirt, and his scent is comforting even now.

She understands how Derek must have felt in a way she never had before. When Kate came slithering into his life in the aftermath of Paige's death. When she pretended to love him just so she could destroy everything.

Derek comes home to find her a wreck, her room in shambles, smelling like pain and anger and so much grief that it chokes him. He's horrified when Laura tells him, because he knows. He knows.

Mitch waits a few days for everything to cool off before contacting Laura again. He doesn't try to see her, or even call, but he does send her a text. Tries to explain that he had never, would never, want to hurt her. The message goes to read and doesn't get a response.

It's weeks before Laura decides to see Mitch again. It's a risk—she can hardly trust him atbfsce value, but she misses him. Misses the way things had been. Even now she still sleeps with her face buried in his shirt; even though his scent has faded. It's the one small comfort she has.

And she knows it's stupid but she meets him at their usual coffee shop. Derek tells he not to do it, he doesn't want his sister hurt the way he was, but she needs answers. And the only way she can be sure Mitch isn't lying to her, is if she can hear his heart.

The first thing she asks is how Mitch's girlfriend really died, already suspecting she knows the answer. Sure enough, it was a werewolf. A rogue omega that killed her.

She asks if Mitch knew what she was from the beginning—he didn't. Hale isn't and uncommon name, and they've always been more prevalent on the West Coast, anyway. It didn't click until she told him about her family, and he remembered hearing rumors through the grape vine about an entire pack being eradicated in California. He did some research and found the news paper reports.

Why didn't he tell her? He was trying to avoid this. Looking for the right time to tell her when the grief wouldn't be so fresh. He knew she wouldn't trust him if she knew, and damn did he get that one right. The dig hurts, but he knows he deserves it.

After the very long interrogation, Laura's nerves are raw. She needs time to think everything over.

When she goes back home Derek is waiting for her, obviously stressed, knowing she had to have been with Mitch. He's relieved when she comes home okay, until he sees that she looks like hell.

Another few days go by and the whole time, she really just misses Mitch. Seeing him again calmed something inside her, even despite the circumstances. (And deep down, she knows he could be her mate. Has known for a while, she just couldn't find the right time to tell him, afraid of scaring him off, and the irony isn't lost on her.)

Finally she can't take it anymore. After tossing and turning all night, unable to sleep, she does over his apartment in the middle of the night. When he opens the door with a displeased scowl that quickly turns to confusion upon seeing her, she falls into his arms and tells him that if he ever lies to her again she'll kill him, and that's that.

#cookie speaks #cookie writes #mitch rapp #Laura Hale #lhaw20 #I need to go back and look at the prompts #I looove mitch/Laura #I don't talk about them often but I adore them #and often times I write them as a side pairing to Sterek

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captxin-rex · 3 years ago

Text

How the Bad Batch react to Omega being upset (HC’s)

Hello there!

I have written more Headcanons! I do so enjoy writing these.

This one is a sort of continuation of the last one I did, that you can find right here.

So, as the title stipulates, this one is about the Bad Batch reacting to Omega being upset. It’s gonna be slightly AU, as I will be including Crosshair. Our boys aren’t really shown to be processing their emotions as they are constantly on the move (and are apparently built to withstand stress), so I thought I’d write a little something about how I think they would help Omega process her emotions.

Warnings: Fluff galore! Lots and lots of it. There will be quite a bit of angst and minor mentions of violence. Slightly AU. Some swearing (both English and Mando’a – forgive me if the Mando’a isn’t right. I relied heavily on the internet for the translations). Also, I never got it proof read so sorry in advance if there's any grammar/spelling mistakes!

Happy reading!

Hunter:

· We all know Hunter is stoic and acts like a tough, no-nonsense leader, but under that dark and broody façade is a sweet man who loves Omega with all his heart. She is very precious to him and he’s very glad that they took her with them when they escaped from Kamino.

· She managed to push past his tough exterior and unlock emotions within him that he didn’t even know he had. Watching her grow as a person and experience the galaxy brings him so much happiness and he’s glad that he gets to experience it with her.

· So, when Omega is hurting, he hurts too, and not just because he can sense when she is upset by the way her breathing changes or the sounds of her very quiet sobs that anyone else would struggle to hear.

· He doesn’t like seeing her sad but, in the beginning, he doesn’t quite know what to do when she’s upset, as he’s never really had to deal with an upset child before.

· He doesn’t really go for physical contact with anyone because of his enhanced senses, and at first, he is reluctant to hug her back when she hugs him – usually he would just put his hands on her shoulders and try to talk to her.

· But Omega is too sweet and pure and deserves all the love in the world, so the resolute walls he built up from being a soldier came crashing down and he finally hugged her one day when she was particularly sad and exhausted.

· He just held her close and gently rubbed her shoulders, telling her that everything would be okay, and promised her that he would always be there to look after her. He would never leave her, and he would never let anyone hurt her.

· The hug also puts him at ease too and after a while even his senses become used to it and it doesn’t bother him. He also needs this as much as she does, even if he doesn’t realise it at first. (Tech was right all those months ago when he was rambling about the benefits of a hug).

· He will never push for her to tell him what’s wrong, but will let her know that when she’s ready to talk he will be there to listen and offer support.

· Omega will often fall asleep, safe, and warm, in Hunter’s arms. He sometimes falls asleep too, relieved that he could be there for her and that she was safe in his arms, protected from harm.

Wrecker:

· A lot of people think that Wrecker is just big and loud, so how could he possibly be a comforting presence when someone is upset?

· Well, for one, he is the best hugger out of the Bad Batch and when people are upset, particularly Omega, he is usually the first to notice (after Hunter and his enhanced senses).

· He took to Omega basically straight away when the Bad Batch escaped Kamino with her. They have the same excitable energy and constantly hype each other up.

· They have a very special bond, and he hates seeing her upset and will do anything to see her smile again. Seeing her sad makes him upset and angry. He just wants her to be happy.

· He will scoop her up in his arms and hold her until she calms down, humming a random tune to soothe her.

· He will try to make her laugh by telling awful dad jokes and he will let her hold Lula because Lula helps him when he’s upset. He will also grab the Tooka doll he made her, called AZ, because double the tooka, double the happiness.

· When Omega does finally smile, Wrecker’s heart will soar. He feels that sometimes people judge him and fear him because of his appearance, but when Omega seeks him out when she is upset and he can make her smile again, it makes him realise that maybe people are wrong about him and that he’s wrong about himself - maybe he’s not so scary after all. He does in fact understand the need for subtlety and softness when it comes to comforting someone, despite what appearances suggest.

· When she has calmed down and is ready to talk about what’s wrong, he will be like “Who made you upset? Was it Crosshair? Because I’ll kick his shebs!”

· Once any ass-kickings have been given (if needed), they will seek out some food together (Mantell Mix is a favourite, of course).

· They will laugh and joke and have the biggest grins on their faces, happy to be in each other’s presence.

Tech:

· Tech, the clever clogs that he is, knew how special Omega was from the beginning when he analysed her DNA.

· However, he was still a little awkward around her at first because he, like the rest of his brothers, wasn’t used to having a child around, but they ended up bonding over their mutual love of knowledge and Omega hanging on his every word, especially when it came to teaching her about the Marauder. He likes that she doesn’t brush him off when he tells her facts, and actually asks him more questions and genuinely likes learning what she can from him.

· Now, Tech is a very smart man and has gathered knowledge about what to do if someone is upset, you know, just in case he ever needed to comfort someone.

· In theory, comforting someone seems pretty straightforward, but putting it into practise? Not as straightforward as it seems!

· Omega was upset one day, and usually she would seek out Hunter or Wrecker, but they weren’t there. He knew he had to do something, as he didn’t like to see her upset. But the thought of trying to console her made him slightly uncomfortable. What if he made her feel worse rather than better?

· He pushed his anxiety to the side anyway and asked her what was wrong, but she just sniffed and shook her head, leaving Tech to search his brain for what he should do next. He internally berated himself for being slow in providing comfort, because the longer he took to think of something, the longer Omega was upset.

· After a few long, slightly uncomfortable moments he said “You know, I have read that hugs have been proven to reduce stress and they also release oxytocin- “

· Before he could even finish his sentence, Omega threw her arms around him and held tight. He awkwardly patted her back at first, but then relaxed and hugged her properly. He held her tight and sat quietly for a few moments, letting her get her breathing back under control.

· He also started to feel the benefits of the hug and finished telling Omega why hugs are healthy. She looked up at him and smiled, thanking him for making her feel better. Seeing her smile at him like that made his heart melt and he was so relieved that he could help her feel better. He knew that information about hugs would come in handy one day!

· Omega would then tell the rest of the batchers this and try to get all of them to hug regularly, for the sake of their health! This idea was met with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

Echo:

· Echo wasn’t so sure about having Omega aboard the Marauder at first, mostly because he didn’t think she would be safe travelling with them.

· But then he saw how well she fit in, and he realised that she belonged with them.

· During his time as an ARC trooper, Echo saw some pretty messed up shit on the dangerous missions he was sent on (often with Fives). Some of these missions gave him terrible nightmares, and he would wake up shouting and terrified. Fives would calm him down and hug him, saying “It’s okay, vod, you’re safe”. He would also do the same for Fives if he ever had nightmares. He still has nightmares from when he was imprisoned at Skako Minor.

· One night, Hunter, Wrecker and Tech were out getting supplies, leaving Echo on the ship with Omega and Crosshair. Omega had retired to her room at his request to get some sleep a few hours before.

· He then heard small, quiet whimpers coming from Omega’s little room and immediately went to see if she was ok. By the time he climbed up the ladder, she was awake and looked terrified, and the scared look on her face reminded him of himself and Fives, when they would awaken in the dead of night, from dreams plagued with war and darkness.

· He asked her if she had a nightmare and she nodded her head, so he helped her down the ladder, and took her to sit down in one of the chairs in the cockpit, stopping to get a blanket along the way.

· He put the blanket around her, and she immediately leaned into him, searching for comfort, and he hesitantly put his arms around her, worried that his cybernetics would hurt her.

· However, she didn’t make any sign that his cybernetics bothered her, so he held her more firmly and let her cry, while he whispered, “It’s ok, vod’ika, you’re safe”, just like Fives would whisper to him.

· He let silent tears of his own fall, thinking about how unfair it was that Fives wasn’t there with him, about the war that had taken so many of his brothers. He hated that Omega was going through this, she was too young! He composed himself, putting on the mask of a tough soldier, and asked Omega what her nightmare was about.

· He vowed that night that he would always be there for Omega, no matter what.

Crosshair:

· Crosshair was very against having Omega aboard the Marauder. She was a child, had no combat experience, and would be a liability.

· He found her irritating at first, she and Wrecker were always doing something and were too energetic for his tastes. He tried to avoid her as much he could, which was difficult to do on the Marauder. He was even sarcastic and downright rude to her a few times, which the rest of his brothers reprimanded him for.

· Yet, no matter how sarcastic or unpleasant he was, Omega would still try to talk to him. She always made an effort to ask how he was, to engage him in conversation. And she always made sure he was included in every discussion the group had. She even came to him for advice about shooting her bow on a few occasions.

· She started to grow on him, and after a while he got used to her presence and even started to enjoy it, and he stopped trying to avoid her and actually held conversations with her. She was a little ray of sunlight in their ragtag group. But there was no way in hell he would ever admit that to anyone, he even had trouble admitting that to himself!

· One day, he was asked to stay behind with Omega because she needed a break, whilst the other batchers went to do an easy job for Cid. Apparently Hunter had decided that Wrecker’s, Tech’s and Echo’s skills would be needed more than Crosshair’s for that job.

· He heard Omega crying, and he froze. What the kriff was he supposed to do with a crying child? That was usually Hunter or Wrecker’s territory. Kriff, even Tech and Echo would be a better choice than him.

· But they weren’t there, and he couldn’t very well leave Omega to sit and cry on her own, could he? Even he wasn’t that cold.

· He approached her slowly, and knelt in front of her, intent on asking her what was wrong and trying to fix it as fast as possible. Before he opened his mouth, she threw her arms around him. He sat frozen for what felt like hours, arms limp at his side whilst Omega held him and cried. He brought his arms up and patted her on the back a few times before drawing her slowly away from him and looking at her.

· “Come with me,” he said, and he took her to a little makeshift target practise range he had made for himself to let off some steam when he needed to, making sure she brought her bow with her. They stood side by side like that for a while, Omega shooting her bow and Crosshair occasionally giving her advice on how to shoot more accurately.

· From that point on, Crosshair and Omega became closer and would use the practise range together when everything got a little too much for them. And Crosshair vowed quietly to himself that he would never let anyone harm their little ray of sunshine.

Tag list: @eyecandyeoz @itsjml @kratosfan6632466 @radbatch

(if you wanna be tagged in any of my future stuff just let me know via message!)

#the bad batch #the bad batch omega #the bad batch echo #the bad batch hunter #the bad batch wrecker #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch tech #the bad batch spoilers #the bad batch headcanons #headcanon #clone force 99

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vorsakh · 7 years ago

Text

Feels Like Fate [3/?]

Previous chapters: 1 / 2

Chapter 3: “Liam, breathe,” he couldn’t. He couldn’t. Everything was blurry and he felt numb.

Liam wasn't surprised to realize Theo had become his best friend. These past couple of months brought them closer together than ever, without the constant pressure of Beacon Hills and the pack around them. Liam felt like he could talk to him about everything. Yeah, the pack was still rarely mentioned but now it didn't feel so forbidden anymore, Liam just didn't want to talk about them. He was in college, away from home. He wasn't trying to run away from anything but this was his chance to forget for a while about the endless struggles that come with living in Beacon Hills.

He had to focus on his life here; on school, on his friends. He couldn't do that with the pressure and anger that was such an integral part of him back home. Surprisingly, Theo didn't bring any of these feelings or memories with him, only calm. Maybe being out of Beacon Hills was good for the both of them. Despite all that, Liam had missed fighting alongside Theo. He realized that as they were doing just that, for the first time in so long. A feral omega had somehow made his way into the town's central street, despite this so-called pack guarding the town. They worked fast and efficiently together, side by side, like they did against the hunters, against the ghost riders.

That was the thing that brought them together in the first place - when Liam brought Theo back from hell, he only intended to use him. He didn't trust him, he didn't want to, but the way they fought together, synchronized and brutal, connected them in a way he couldn't ignore. The more they worked together, the more Liam felt comfortable in trusting Theo to at least have his back in a fight. It took a long time for them to actually become friends, but once someone takes a bullet (or a knife, or claws) for you, it's hard to keep on pretending they didn't mean a thing to you. That Theo was still the same manipulative killer he used to be.

Maybe they were fast to forgive. Maybe neither Liam nor Scott had the best track record with trusting people, but Liam trusts his alpha and if Scott gave Theo the second chance to help the pack and didn't say a thing about Liam and Theo spending all that time together, knowing first-hand everything Theo was capable of, that's good enough for Liam to follow his lead without guilt.

Scott was the first one to consider Theo an ally and even if he won't ever forgive him, he trusted him with his pack. So that's the reason Liam is meeting Scott first. He felt bad about lying to his alpha, even by omission, and logically thinking there's no reason for Scott to be upset about Theo being a part of Liam's life again. There was absolutely no reason for Liam to be nervous about this conversation. He still was, though.

When he reached the McCall house, though, he felt calm. This is his alpha's home, a safe place for him, the scent of the people in it familiar and warm. He hadn't seen Scott since starting college, both visited Beacon Hills at different times before. Melissa and Argent went to visit Scott and Malia for Christmas while Liam celebrated with his parents back home. Theo politely declined the invite to join them, promising Liam he will spend Christmas Eve with work friends.

He reached the entryway but the door opened before he even got the chance to knock, strong hands pulling him into a fierce hug. His wolf rumbled happily as his alpha held him close, the calmness he felt intensified. He never should have felt nervous about this meeting, no matter what, he can always trust Scott. Scott moved away with a small laugh and his eyes look a bit wet, but Liam was close to tears himself so he was really not one to judge. "Come in, come in! Mom's home," Scott said, moving into the house and pulling Liam alone, holding his wrist tightly. The contact served to ground them both, after spending time apart. After the war, when things have calmed down, Derek sat down with them and Alec, explaining the importance of touch to werewolves within a pack. They managed fine by keeping in touch with phone calls and texts, and simply by knowing the pack were all safe, but being able to touch and feel the warmth coming from his pack-mates was a feeling he couldn’t describe.

His thoughts went back to Theo, about the casual way they touched, and he couldn't help but wonder if the wolf in him ever made him crave Liam's touch, or if it was just the way he was. He was brought back to the present by Melissa’s hug, her usual scent of exhaustion softened by the happiness at spending time with her family.

“You said you wanted to talk to me?” Scott asked as he led Liam to his room.

“Uh, yeah. There’s something I should tell you,” Liam said as he sat down on the chair, facing Scott who sat down on the edge of his bed.

“So- I’ll just get to it. Turns out Theo lives pretty close by? We’ve been- uh, spending time together,” god, could he sound more awkward?

“Oh,” Scott said, looking genuinely surprised. “Well, that’s- good isn’t it? How is he?”

“Um, fine I guess? He’s changed. Even more than before, I mean. It’s- things are fine.”

“Liam,” his alpha said in a stern tone.

Liam sighed, trying to find his words. “It is...good. I’m glad to- have him back? Not that I- not like-” he scoffed at himself, frustrated at not being able to express himself properly. “I like spending time with him, and it’s helping me when he’s around. We don’t really talk about anything important, I never asked him why he left. I probably won’t ever because I don’t think I’ll like the answer and I don’t want to...ruin what we have,” he finished quietly, looking down.

“Liam, you know it’s okay, right? I know you two were...friends before, and it’s perfectly fine to be that again,” the way Scott paused before the word friends made Liam think he was about to say something else.

“Yeah, no, I know. I just thought it’s something you should know,” he said.

“Well, good, I’m glad you told me that. Not because- I know he won’t hurt you or anything, not anymore. But if he’s going to be a part of your life again, I would like to know that. Do you wanna talk about it, about him?”

“What- what’s there to talk about?” the nerves were back, Liam felt Scott was digging for something.

“Liam-” Scott’s tone was soft, almost...pitying. Oh no. He knew.

“Don’t- Scott. Just...no,” he looked back down, not being able to meet Scott’s warm eyes. He felt pathetic. Was he that obvious? If Scott noticed...did Theo know Liam was in love with him? Is that why he left?

“Liam, breathe,” he couldn’t. He couldn’t. Everything was blurry and he felt numb.

“Liam,” the voice was inhuman, almost a growl. Scott's eyes flashed red and Liam gasped, sucking in a breath as his eyes flashed gold in return. He didn’t even notice Scott moved off the bed, but here he was, kneeling in front of Liam and trying to talk him out of a panic attack.

The last time he had this attack was- oh. It was after Theo left. Liam was a mess, he couldn’t focus without his anchor and he’d been suffering from this attacks until he found the way to anchor himself once again, using his memories of the chimera.

Now, his wolf was stressed the Theo was far away. It was the same process all over again; Liam got so used to Theo’s presence he counted on that to anchor him, but now he was faced with the possibility of losing Theo again and couldn’t focus on any other memory other than Theo leaving.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he muttered over and over again, trying to calm his fast-beating heart.

“Liam, you have nothing to be sorry about. Wait here, I’ll bring you water,” Scott’s voice was muffled, far away. All Liam could think about was the fear of losing Theo.

He won’t let that happen again. He’ll be careful. He’ll give Theo no reason to freak out or leave again. He’ll be his friend and- and nothing more.

His wolf growled angrily at the thought, the word mine echoing in his head but Liam ignored it. Theo wasn’t his.

#thiam #theo x liam #theo raeken #liam dunbar #fanfiction

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destiel-addict-forever-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Enter Sandman

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: Sam recently got his soul back. The reader is being different around him and he doesn’t know why. What will it take for him to remember? Can their relationship truly be saved? A/B/O AU

Warnings: angst, so much fucking angst, kind-of build-up to smut, mentions of rape, supposed cheating, cliffhanger

Characters: Alpha!Dean, Alpha!Reader, Omega!Sam

Pairing: Alpha!Reader x Omega!Sam

Word Count:

A/N This is part three in an A/B/O series I’m writing based off Metallica songs.

Nothing Else Matters (Part One) The Struggle Within (Part Two)

Sam’s POV

Say your prayers, little one Don't forget, my son To include everyone

“Hey Sweetie,” I said walking up behind (Y/N), wrapping my arms around her waist. She flinched, tensing up, before relaxing in my arms. I couldn’t help but realize how she still remained a little tense.

“Hey, babe. What’s up?” I didn’t answer her question, leaning down to kiss the side of her neck.

“Not much. Just missing my Alpha.” I continued kissing down the side of her neck, trying to ignore the way she didn’t quite melt into me like she used to. I turned her around, boxing her in against the counter. “Dean’s on a supply run. He’ll be at least a couple hours.” I leaned in to kiss her, but stopped unable to ignore the way she flinched at my touch, backing away.

“Sam?” She tilted her head, confusion in her eyes, even though I could see the hurt that hadn’t left them since I’d gotten my soul back.

“What did I do when I didn’t have my soul?” She sighed, biting her lip the way she did when she didn’t want to tell me something.

“It doesn’t matter Sam. You didn’t have your soul, it wasn’t you.”

Tuck you in, warm within Keep you free from sin Till the Sandman he comes

“(Y/N), it matters. What ever I did, what ever I said, it obviously hurt you. What happened?” I watched as she took a deep, shuddering breath.

“You slept with another woman. I walked in on it and you turned to me and said- you said that all I ever was to you was a good fuck because- because I wasn’t worth anything more than that.” I could see tears forming in her eyes, as she braced her body. As if she was expecting me to say those things again.

“I am so, so sorry. I can’t imagine what you went through, even knowing I didn’t have my soul, that was still me.” She turned her head to the side, then turned her gaze back on mine.

“Well? Get it on with.” I cocked my head confused, watching as she just got more angry at me. “I know the truth now, you don’t have to deny it.”

“The truth? Baby, you have got to know that I didn’t mean any of those things. I love you, and you are so much more than just a good fuck. You gotta believe that.” I watched as the tears ran down her cheeks as she reached up to angrily wipe them away.

“I don’t know if I can believe that Sam. I need time, time to realize that those words weren’t true. All I hear at night, is those words, you repeating them over and over. All I see in my mind every time you touch me is all of those other women you touched, what you did with them. I thought I could do this, just forget that it ever happened, but I can’t. I need some time Sam.” I watched as she walked out, hearing the slam of the door echo around the room, accenting the fact that she just walked out. Without me.

Sleep with one eye open Gripping your pillow tight

Two weeks. I was starting to think that she would never come back. That she had left me for good. I couldn’t sleep, all I did all night was toss and turn missing the warmth from her body on the other side of the bed.

“Need anything Sammy?” I turned my head, looking over at Dean as he entered the room.

“How much time does she need Dean?” He sighed, leaning his head on his arm against the doorway.

“I don’t know Sammy, she was really hurt when you didn’t have your soul. Pushing all of that down for months can’t have made it any easier to deal with.” Now it was my turn to sigh as he repeated the same words he’d been using for the past week.

“But how much-”

“Sam? Dean?” I froze for a second, my body instantly reacting to the sound of my Alpha’s voice, before jumping up and sprinting downstairs.

“(Y/N)!” I reached the bottom of the stairs and didn’t hesitate before pulling her in for a hug, burying my face deep in her neck. All my joy fled my body at the smell I caught.

Exit: light Enter: night

“You- you-” I backed away, feeling the anger and rejection rage inside of me at the smell of another man on her.

“Sam, listen, it’s not what you think.” She took a step closer, only for me to take three more steps back.

“Not what I think? (Y/N) I can smell him on you. I know you needed space, I gave you space, but why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to be with me anymore.” I turned to walk back up the stairs, determined not to let her see how much this broke me.

“Sam, wait.” She grabbed my arm but I shook her off, refusing to meet her gaze.

“Just go away (Y/N). I don’t ever want to see you again.” I stormed up the stairs, running into Dean on my way back to my room. I broke down the second I shut the door.

Reader’s POV

You watched as Sam ran upstairs, hearing the echo of his words cascade around the room as you slid down the wall to the floor. I don’t ever want to see you again. He didn’t even give you the chance to explain. If this was any other day, any other situation, you would have been angry, you would have made him sit there and listen to you.

“(Y/N)?” You looked up from your spot on the floor as Dean entered the room, almost hesitantly. “What happened?”

“He doesn’t ever want to see me again Dean. I can feel the bond weakening every second. It’s like this empty cavity in my chest is opening up and filling with fire.”

“Not surprising, I can smell another guy on you, I know he could too. How could you do that to him? He was laying here, waiting for you to come back, and when you finally do, it’s because you’ve moved on? Of course he doesn’t want to see you ever again. You shattered his heart.” You took a deep breath, knowing this would definitely take some explaining. The tears streaming down your face wouldn’t help.

“I didn’t move on Dean.” The look on his face just grew angrier and more confused.

“I can smell another man on you (Y/N), you’re telling me you didn’t have sex with him? Cause even I can tell that’s a flat out lie.”

“I didn’t have sex with him Dean. He r- raped me.” You could hear the gasp from Dean at your words.

“He- he raped you?”

Take my hand We're off to never never land

“I know, I’m supposed to be this big, strong Alpha hunter and be able to fight off anything, but I’m just me Dean. I tried, I kicked and screamed and clawed and bit but I couldn’t get him off of me.” You pulled your knees to your chest and buried your face into your arms, not wanting Dean to see the tears streaming down your face.

“I’ll be right back.” You heard footsteps going up the stairs and assumed he was going to get Sam.

Now I lay me down to sleep Pray the Lord my soul to keep

Sam, who didn’t ever want to see you again. Who thought you had cheated on him. Who deserved so much better than an Alpha who couldn’t even defend themselves. You got up from the floor, finding a paper and pen to write down a note. And then you walked out the door, hopping in your car and driving away from the Winchesters. Away from your mate.

Sam’s POV

I heard a knock on the door, assuming it was Dean come to cheer me up.

“Go away Dean! I don’t wanna talk about it.” I sighed as I heard the door open anyways.

“Sam, we need to talk.” I rolled over in bed, lying on my side facing away from him standing in the doorway.

“I said go away.”

“Sam you need to hear-”

“I said go-”

“He raped her!” I stopped, my words caught in my throat as I sat up, turning to face him.

“What?” I whispered, praying to God I heard him wrong. I’d rather she’d cheated on me, I’d rather she had never loved me in the first place, than for what he said to be true.

“He raped her. She didn’t have sex with him Sam.” No. No, no, no. This was her worst fear, it was why she always hid being an Alpha. She was terrified that she wouldn’t be able to defend herself, the next time someone tried to take advantage of her.

If I die before I wake Pray the Lord my soul to take

“Where is she?”

“Downstairs.” I bolted down the stairs, only to find no one there. Not in any room. As I walked back towards the stairs I saw something taped to the front door. A note, in her handwriting.

“Sam?” I fell to the ground, one hand crinkling the note, the other landing in a fist on the door.

“She’s gone Dean. She’s gone.”

Take my hand We're off to never never land

Tagging: @dr-dean

#sam x reader #alpha!reader x omega!sam #A/B/O verse #spn fanfic #angst #cliffhanger

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idontneedasymbol · 8 years ago

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12x22: Who We Are

This is going to be long (you're shocked, I know), and more than a little confused. Because there were things I absolutely loved about the episode, and then there were things that frustrated me, and then there were a few things I hated. And some of those are tangled enough together that I'd have a hard time teasing them out into separate posts So. Fair warning.

Starting with the things I loved: I knew from spoilers that Dean was going to be going into Mary's mind to get her out of the brainwashing. And given my increasingly ambivalent feelings about Mary this season, and what the season was doing with the Mary and Dean relationship, I was prepared to be at best bored and at worse angry with that scene.

And then it ended up being some of my favorite stuff of the season. Dean's "I hate you" was genuinely shocking, not because the feeling is unexpected or uncalled for, but that he actually says it -- and it's not just to shock her out of it; he means it. And he has reason to, and he actually explains it -- what I've been wanting to hear the whole season, the acknowledgment that Dean is angry at Mary, not because she doesn't fit his view of a perfect mother, or even that she abandoned them, however unintentionally -- but because of what it meant that she wasn't there. That he not only had to grow up without a mother, but he had to become one himself, for Sam. That Dean actually says that he was father and mother. And that it wasn't fair. Because whether or not it was Mary's fault, or even John's for breaking -- it wasn't fair to Dean. He's said it about John, but only to himself, in his dreams; for Dean to actually get to say it to Mary was amazing.

And then, Dean's list -- that it's not that he resents being that for Sam, but that he failed in it. That he failed Sam, his little brother, the baby that he still recognizes instantly, three decades later, who's gone through so much pain that Dean couldn't prevent -- that's what hurts him the most, and that, that is Dean, the Dean I've been missing all this season.

And then the "I hate you, and I love you" -- because this is Dean, and it's not just that Mary is family; it's that she's family the way Dean is family, and he understands. He can work through his anger and forgive her the mistakes that he's made himself. As he's been forgiven.

And Mary, too, confessing that it was fear of this that kept her away -- and Sam's openhearted absolution, and their hug, with Dean pulled in too -- that was beautiful, that was all amazing.

What's frustrating about it...and it was frustrating...was that I wish more of the season had been like this. It doesn't feel like it came from nowhere; there were hints of it in other episodes (in particular Dean and Mary's argument in 12x14, also written by Robert Berens.) But I feel somewhat cheated, that we had to go through a whole season of Mary being distant to the point of being unlikable to get to this conclusion. It's not that it's bad, but the story wasn't really complex enough to be drawn out for that long. It took 22 episodes for Dean and Mary to go from point A to point B in their relationship, and while I'm glad they did get there...I wish it had been sooner, that we could have more time with the Mary we may (hopefully?) get now.

And then there was Sam's part of the story. Which is where I get really frustrated. (And not just because Sam got so little with Mary -- my hope is that with Dean & Mary's story moved along, next season will put more into Sam & Mary? Which might be an empty wish, but we'll see.)

Because, here's the thing, on the one hand, I like this story for Sam, this idea that he's coming into his own as a leader. And then on the other...what? When has that ever been Sam's arc before?

It's not that it's completely out of nowhere. Sam's story has always been about personal responsibility, about making decisions for himself. So extending that to taking greater responsibility, to others trusting him to make decisions, is a natural evolution. But it's not one the show has ever hinted at before, that I can think of. Even 12x14 (which, again, was Berens' last solo effort, and this episode felt like a direct continuation -- so direct in some ways that the rest of the episodes between might not have happened at all?) Sam wasn't struggling with the question of leading vs following. That was the episode with the "pick a side" argument, but picking a side and choosing to lead aren't the same.

It also felt a bit like they were trying to retcon why Sam joined the BMOL, as that never really made sense to begin with. And didn't here, either. Nor was the strange turn to make it seem like a redemption story, like Sam joining the BMOL was something he had to atone for -- even though at the worst, it was an honest mistake, buying from a shady seller. If Sam had actually done anything for the BMOL, had given them the names of hunters or whatever, that might've needed atonement. But as far as we know, he didn't. He didn't even do any special cases for them; all he and Dean did was take out a few monsters that they would've gone after anyway if they'd heard about them.

(And he did most of that with Dean's agreement, so Sam taking all the responsibility for it was...weird? If that's what that was meant to be, when he switched from "me and my brother" to "I" -- I wasn't sure what the intent was, whether that was meant to be Sam taking the blame, or Sam taking independent command, or what?)

Also, for all the music tried to convince me that Sam's dramatic speech to the hunters was a "But it is not this day" moment -- I didn't get why it would be such a hard sell? The BMOL are killing hunters (for who knows what reason, I still don't understand that) -- presumably most of the hunters they called in have lost friends, and even if they hadn't, their own lives are in danger. And hunters put their lives on the line every day. And it made it clear that none of them had any respect for the BMOL. So I wouldn't think you'd have to convince them to take on the BMOL; I'd have thought that Sam wouldn't get three words into his speech before one of them went, "Yeah, we know, they suck, do you have an address? Great, let's go!"

(I also am still puzzled as to why, as far as we saw, not a single hunter besides the Winchesters actually took the BMOL up on their offer. Okay, the Brits have silly accents. But NO hunter was interested in their toys or their knowledge? Or the chance to take out all monsters? None? Anywhere? Seriously?)

Then there was Dean's reaction to it all, which...I think what the episode was going for was an echo/response to what Dean says to Mary later, about being Sam's parent. This was Dean finally realizing that his job there is over, that Sam is all grown up, letting him go be his own man.

Except that's a story that we got years ago -- it was a major theme of the first five seasons, culminating in "Swan Song," in which Dean lets Sam go. Sam reiterated it in the beginning of season 11 -- "You do what you do. But you've got to let me do what I do, too." And this season especially, when we haven't once seen Dean come to Sam's rescue (and have seen Sam come to Dean's rescue multiple times), when Sam has been doing all kinds of things and Dean hasn't once expressed any concerns that Sam couldn't handle anything, or implied that he sees Sam as anything less than a full-grown man and a badass hunter -- it felt a little weird and forced.

(Unless, and I really hope this isn't the case, the show is actually "breaking the toxic codependency" like so many Destiel fans want -- that is, ending the closeness between them, putting them on separate paths, so they act like "normal" siblings should, still loving each other but at a "normal" distance, no longer hunting or living together and with other more important people (i.e. romantic partners) in their lives. Which for me will be destroying the thing I love and value most in the show. And this thought made me enjoy the brother hug a lot less than I should have. But Sam did want Dean to come along, and Dean's injury gave a strong narrative reason why he shouldn't, so it wasn't just Dean choosing to help Mary over his brother. And then Dean with Mary made it clear that there still is "nothing I'd put before you". So I don't know? And I hope I'm reading too much into that.)

Finally, and this is most annoying as a Sam fan -- Sam's storyline here of becoming a leader doesn't really get any denouement. The mission succeeds. But Sam's leadership isn't really critical to that success; there's no particular strategizing, or Sam coming up with a plan. And afterwards, no one comments on Sam's leadership; we don't get to see any the hunters who survived telling him that they'd follow him again or any other textual acknowledgment, showing or telling, that he did a good job leading. Maybe this arc will be picked up next season (I really am hoping that organizing a real American hunters network will be a storyline). But it's a shame it wasn't carried through more completely here.

Then there were a few things I hated. Which pretty much all fall under the banner of, Supernatural is not an action show. And I'm not sure who* mistook it for one, but I really wish they would figure out the truth.

* My private theory is that Andrew Dabb got so perturbed by criticisms of "Alpha & Omega" that he decided to prove everyone wrong and spent last year's summer hiatus mainlining every action movie ever made, cribbing from the plots to write his eps. (This conveniently allows me to place the blame on all the people who were WRONG WRONG WRONG about "Alpha & Omega," which stands as one of my favorite finales of the show. :P)

The point is, Supernatural is not an action show. It has action sometimes, but its most memorable and most effective moments are nearly always character drama. Action movies have the drama to string together the action setpieces, while Supernatural uses its action to propel character moments. So making the climax of Sam's storyline be him leading hunters into the BMOL facility guns blazing just can't satisfy, and Dean and Mary taking out Ketch together is a little more effective but still doesn't have the power of Dean getting through to Mary in her mind.

Also, and this one nearly killed the episode for me -- I know the BMOL are bad guys. But they're also human beings. Some of the upper-level BMOL managements know some magic (but they still mostly resort to standard weapons) but the grunts, as far as we see, are completely normal humans, not even modified people like the Stynes. And we don't know the deal with any of them, whether they're paid mercs or brainwashed like Mary or trained (and brainwashed) at Kendricks.

So having hunters just shooting them was really, really disturbing. Hunters hunt monsters; they save humans. I didn't get why not a single hunter so much as questions killing any of the BMOL, or hesitates to take a shot -- and lethal headshots, no kneecapping or shoulder shots. Especially when back in "First Blood" Dean and Sam made a point that they wouldn't kill soldiers who were trying to kill them, because those men were just following orders. But the BMOL soldiers were exempt from that, and I don't understand why.

(This especially bothers me because it was one of the things I was most interested about the BMOL as antagonists -- that it was the first time the enemy was actually human, making it a more complex situation than just a monster that had to be slain. And then it never came up at all, was never even mentioned through the entire season.)

Likewise, while Ketch needed to die, shooting him executioner-style, when he's unarmed...I got what the show was going for, subverting the heroes-showing-mercy, if-we-do-we're-no-better-than-them trope. But it was still really unpleasant, not what I want my heroes to be like.

A few more random points:

Single-layer Winchesters, dirty and with goggles around their necks, having a heart-to-heart, aww. (Though was that a bottle of booze, not water? Seriously, Dean?)

It's a minor thing but it had me scratching my head -- why the heck didn't they change outfits in two days? They were in the bunker, they had all their clothes. They get all dirty trying to chop through the wall and then they go and put on the same outfits, why? (Okay, this is mostly because I didn't like Dean's red and black shirt, the plaid was too broad for him.)

And Sam's story maybe didn't get denouement, but the grenade launcher did! And we were sure Toni was going to be instrumental in their escape, so that she proved useless was satisfying.

(Also in SPN-is-not-an-action-show -- that scene was weirdly arranged. Why the heck did Dean climb up the shaft with an injured leg without so much as calling to Sam to say what he was doing? And then Sam nearly passes out from oxygen loss but Dean doesn't come down to help him up or anything -- Dean didn't help Sam up once this entire season, not even that much casual h/c, whyyyyyy?)

Toni in general was...they really didn't know what to do with her character, did they? She joins the long list of Sam's torturers who he then has to work with, but there was zero acknowledgment that they had that history. And then Dean hears about her son and maybe is mildly sympathetic, and then Ketch kills her, and...that's it? I'm not really upset about it, because I didn't have much faith they would figure her out if they kept her around. And frankly at this point I'm just glad to have the BMOL plot over with. But I am a little wistful for the Toni Bevell of the first couple episodes, the overzealous and under-experienced Woman of Letters, who had some human connection and thought she was saving the world and maybe could have been interesting, given more development.

Jody survived! And Alex did too, apparently? I don't quite get why she was there at all, except to make us worry (about her and Donna too), and even Jody’s role was pretty negligible (though her clasping Dean’s hand, aww) but they all lived! \o/

And we got two Winchester hugs. So in the end, for all my quibbles, I have to like the episode for that. And I am looking forward to seeing where next season might pick up some of the threads here.

(But before that, there's the finale. Comments on which will have to wait until after I've slept, and mulled some more on it...)

#supernatural #who we are #12x22 #season 12 #spn meta #ep analysis #meta #my meta #spoilers #my post #bmol #mary

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