#combatting biphobia

[bi-sapphics]

bi feminists and bi activists against any and all biphobia are so so so important to me and i just can’t explain it in full with the right words to honor them. i tried writing a whole essay post earlier but it just didn't encapsulate my point well enough, so here’s another one that does. i'm not even kidding, with the shit i've experienced in the past year, bi women and bi sapphics are so incredibly brave and strong. you truly cannot understand the trauma, pain, frustration, and rage unless you are one. if you’re bi and you’ve ever faced controversy as a result of taking up the space you belong in and being your authentic self, or even claiming you have a right to do so and live your own cultural life (because you do!), then i am so fucking sorry and i hope you find the support network you need from other fighting bisexuals who really do want to protect and help you with no strings attached.

[prettyymafia]

currently thinking about that one tumblr post that was like "i hate when lesbians assume bisexual women will leave them for a man. what do you want me to cheat on you with the same sex instead?" and honestly

[lastoneout]

Like idk about other queer people but I know for a fact that our relationship has allowed both me and my fiancé to embrace our queerness in ways we hadn't or even couldn't before and so it's just wild to me that anyone would suggest that a relationship can only be queer if it's a same gender one.

A relationship that includes queer people cannot be capital 's' Straight, and some of y'all really need to kick the diet biphobia and expand your idea of what "queer" looks like. It's good for you, I promise.

[madohomurat]

"some days im straight and some days im gay but never at the same time" i promise you that the word bisexual still captures that experience. like. i swear to you that is bisexual. as much as you want to turn the word bisexual into a label that has strict rules and firm lines, it never has and never will.

[bisexualfagdyke]

I have always thought the way biphobia and transandrophobia work inside the queer community are rlly similar. I wish more bisexuals that r passionate abt bisexuality and combatting biphobia, also cared about transandrophobia!!

[velvetvexations]

The other thing about trans men only ever Maybe getting conditional access to male privilage is that trans women can have access to conditional male privilage (boymoding for safety is still being viewed as a man) which can have Some benefits but it's just as shaky and harmful as trans men's access. It's conditional and ultimately flimsy. A lot of trans feminists don't like to acknowledge that pre transition transfemmes can have backsplash male privilage because terfs use it against them but that's just letting them win. It's like male socialization where terfs say well trans women are raised like boys so they're not women and some people fully buy into the reasoning and claim that no trans woman ever has felt that that describes her experience (which means by classic transradfem oppositional sexism that trans men were socialized male) etc etc where instead we could reject terfs premise that a) there are universal gendered socializations and b) that a woman has to be born or raised or act a certain way to be a woman. It's just conceding the point in order to fight terfs but ultimately ends up also harming trans people, even women because they're forced into a certain mold of trans womanhood to combat terf talking points.

Like so fucking what if someone sometimes experiences benefits from male privilage? Is it some kind of disease? Does it make someone suddenly not a gender minority to every once in a while get mistaken for a cis man and benefit from that? Like anyone who ever passes or passed as a cis man regardless of body or gender has probably gotten at least a shred of benefit from male privilage. My point is that that doesn't make them a bad person or some shit and acting like it suddenly cancels out oppression or makes terfs right is just stupid and playing into their rhetoric. It's tied into transmisogyny, transandrophobia, exorsexism, intersexism, biphobia, grossness against closeted people, butchphobia etc etc we need to move past the idea that receiving a modicum of benefits from being interpreted as of a privilaged group somehow is a negative thing that contaminates a person and eliminates any other oppression someone might experience and half the time adds other dangers! Closeted people often are in more danger if they're viewed as having tricked someone. Boymoders have to deal with constant misgendering and the danger of outing and subsequent violence. Butches and trans men and mascs if initially assumed to be a cis man then revealed to be (in the eyes of the beholder) a "woman" face misogyny, transphobia, sexual assault etc.

Pretty much anyone can have conditional access to privilage esp if they lie! Trans men aren't unique in this! Saying trans men can sometimes receive benefits from male privilage and therefore they're privilaged over trans women is just like terfs and their "well trans women didn't grow up facing misogyny so they are privlaged over cis women" Absolute Bullshit. Transradfems just can't help but steal terf talking points

This is very well put anon!!!!! I think the problem is that we even classify it as the same in the first place. When it comes with all those drawbacks, is it still "privilege" as we understand it, even if it may have evanescent benefit? I think the whole idea of "male privilege" totally breaks down when you start to apply queerness to it, and others can surely add on to how race mixes in.

[makorragal-312]

Since BuckTommy fans want to accuse Oliver of being biphobic because their ship imploded last night, let me clear something up for some of y'all:

Yes, there are some bisexual people who have sexual relations with people from both genders. And yes, there are some bisexual people who choose to explore their sexuality through sex when they first come to terms with their bisexuality.

The issue comes when actual biphobic people take that and use it to the run with the myth that bisexuals are "promiscuous" and "unfaithful," which plays into the idea that bi people will sexually pursue someone of a gender that differs from the gender they are currently involved with, which plays into the "cheating bisexual" myth.

A myth that the bi community has been forced to see time and time again in media for AGES and to this day, continues to combat.

THAT'S being biphobic.

THAT'S biphobia.

And Oliver has done none of that.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Understanding bisexuality is knowing bisexuality is not a phase or a stepping stone. It's a valid sexual orientation, representing attraction to more than one gender. However, bisexual individuals often face discrimination, not just from the straight community, but sadly, more often from within the LGBTQ+ community as well. This is called biphobia and it leads to bierasure. The invisible battle of Biphobia is the fear or hatred of bisexual people, often manifesting as harmful stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination. Bierasure, on the other hand, is the tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, news media, and other primary sources. How can people help to end biphobia and bierasure as allies, we can help fight to end these harmful behaviors. Here's how:

1. Educate Yourself and Others: Learn about bisexuality, the challenges faced by bisexuals, and the harmful effects of biphobia and bierasure. Share your knowledge with others, especially those who may hold misconceptions about bisexuality.

2. Speak Up: Don't stay silent when you witness biphobia or bierasure. Challenge harmful stereotypes and stand up for bisexual individuals in both the straight and LGBTQ+ communities.

3. Support Bisexual Individuals: Be there for your bisexual friends and family members. Let them know that you see them, you support them, and you're fighting for them.

4. Promote Bisexual Visibility: Share and celebrate stories, art, and media by and about bisexual individuals. This can help combat bierasure by showing that bisexual people exist and their experiences are valid.

So join the bisexual community in this fight we need to act urgently to end biphobia and bierasure amongst other things as well. It's time to stand up, speak out, and show your support for the bisexual community. Share this post, start a conversation, and let's make a difference together for a better place for bisexuals.

[phantaskicks]

''yeah we should combat fandom misogyny/lesbophobia... by using biphobia towards bi women, this will solve everything''

literally. this is what some of you are saying... in 2024. fun fact, neither the video description I showed here nor the tags needed to mention bisexual women in particular, at all.

And don't give me that 'it's just a joke' crap - you got some biphobia towards bi women specifically and you need to listen to us when we call this out for what it is

(image description in each respective image caption) and below:

First Image Description: two genderless humanoid representations are facing one another, both with cartoon bubbles with text inside them. There's two frames represented, like a vertical comic. In the first frame, the figure on the left says: ''hey so there's a lack of f/f content in fandom and that's a problem we need to solve - media in general centers men, so we need to counter that. A lot of people in fandom have internalized misogyny, regardless of sexuality and gender; we need to examine and deconstruct it so we can have an equal share-'' text end. The figure on the left is interrupted mid sentence by the figure on the right saying: ''damn, bisexual women are to blame for this, they should do better and make f/f content since all they do is make m/m and m/f stuff right?''. The second frame has the two figures still, but without any bubbles nor text. The figure on the left simply has an expression of bewilderment and shock at what the figure on the right just said, as they both look at each other in silence.

Second Image Description: A cropped screenshot of a Youtube video description, with 104,059 views at the time of capture and noting the release date of the video with the text: ''Premiered Jan 14, 2024'' end text. The description text reads: ''What is 'the infantilized lesbian' and how is that connected to the birth of Christ? Why am I obsessed with lesbians hatef*cking in the mud and what does it take for a lesbian ship to take hold of the bisexual MM-loving girlies of Tumblr?'' end text.

Third Image Description: A cropped screenshot of Tumblr tags left by someone on a reblog of a post. The tags read, in order according to the screencapture: ''#dykes get to work #bisexual women….do better #I'M JOKING I'M JOKING #or am i……….'' end text.

[myaoiboy]

what are ur hcs for the boscelhira dynamic?

These bitches are so deeply unhealthy on every level lmaoooo

I'm super torn on whether Ocelot ever actually directly tells Big Boss that he's attracted to him, purely out of such a fucked up yandere level of hero worship. Especially before the Ground Zeroes incident I think he assumes a) that his feelings go without saying and b) that bibo is indestructible, and GZ is a huge wake up call for him. I have a fic in my wip folder about this exact thing because I'm obsessed with ocelot I am genuinely rotating him in my brain at all times. :3

Meanwhile Kaz is extremely straightforward. I feel like he has some fucked up ideas about masculinity and sexuality early on, but hey, gay people tend to congregate around all the snakes in large numbers, so any internalized homo/biphobia that he might have had has to evaporate pretty quickly. He definitely makes the first move on Bibo, he tries the moves that he uses on (many, many) women, and ends up getting absolutely plowed.

Big Boss, to me, is an autistic aroace king who doesn't really *get* sex and/or romance, but is down to fuck if only because he knows it's something other people put a lot of value on and it feels good, and as an extension of hand-to-hand combat. Because of that sex-as-an-extension-of-combat mindset I feel like he doesn't bottom much if ever (maybe, *MAYBE* if the Boss were into pegging, but lbr she's probably a lil too homophobic for that).

Kaz is cool with that, especially in the early MSF days. It's like having a tiger on a leash. He basically has a supersoldier to fuck him senseless.

I think maybe BB and Ocelot meet quietly on occasion through the MSF days, but if they fuck at all in this time it's mostly just what BB kind of assumes he's supposed to do, from interacting with Kaz. tbh Ocelot gets off from the weirdest shit so anything *real* is just a bonus.

Ocelot is *extremely* jealous of Kaz, not just for the sex, but for even getting to see Bibo on a regular basis. This fic is basically to me what I think their first meeting would/should be like (actually this whole series of fics is so good i recommend it): https://archiveofourown.org/works/37886539

(There's another fic that I looked for very quickly but couldn't find that includes Ocelot saying a line like "I just wanted to see what all the buzz was about" after they fuck, it may also be a part of that series, but I'm struggling rn lol)

Ocelot pretends it's not jealousy and is instead a totally justified dislike. Definitely thinks of him as Zero's slutty lapdog. He spends the time between MGS3/PO (take your pick on canonicity) and GZ keeping tabs on Snake for what he pretends are totally professional, impersonal, non-obsessive reasons. This is not true, obviously. Definitely hopes that Kaz is dead in the devastation.

Goes on an enormous bender between the attack and finding out that Bibo is alive, maybe the only time that he really, truly lets himself completely lose control. Definitely think at least once he gets REAL fucking close to ODing and gets to talk to the Sorrow for a lil bit. Might be how he finds out Snake isn't dead/won't die.

If they haven't at least hooked up anonymously before, Kaz and Ocelot definitely start to in this 9 year gap. Ocelot knows a lot about the human body and does some fancy acupunctury/knife-y stuff to help with the pain from his injuries because, y'know, they're stuck together for now.

Ocelot totally fucks Kaz because he's the person closest to Big Boss left in the world. Ocelot isn't much of a top himself, but he tops Kaz just to figure out what he's used to, using Kaz to build up this mental model of how Big Boss must fuck using the negative space he's left behind.

I genuinely think that up to this point they REALLY could have saved one another. They're one another's perfect foil, they cover one another's weaknesses, Kaz is all rage on his own behalf but doesn't know when to cut ties, Ocelot refuses to grow a single vertebra if it might inconvenience Big Boss.

I do think that Ocelot spent a lot of time at Zanzibarland, and that Kaz intentionally helped time Intrude F014 for a time that Ocelot wouldn't be there, from some lack of desire to kill his...complicated ex lover.

I think Ocelot would absolutely be furious that he wasn't let die with his boss, and intentionally lets Kaz live in 2005 as punishment (I like biblical allusion and so the idea of Kaz living the story of Cain/Pontius Pilate's doorman, cursed to live a wandering life until the second coming of jesus, or in Kaz's situation, the third(?) coming of Big Boss makes me kick my feet and giggle)

Gonna stop for now cause this is getting like. Comedically long for what you asked lol. But I am more than willing to talk about this forever i love them they're my favorite toxic barbies

but genuinely yall thank you, you're making me think about this which means that I can add a little more to the bunch of fics I have half written and scared to finish lmaoooo

[posi-pan]

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latest ig post that’s a start of a series: debunking panphobic arguments. the first post is about the claim that pan people are more accepted or seen as more queer than bi people!

i’m a longwinded individual so i’m struggling to tldr this.

i think key takeaways are that claims of not being “queer enough” or being “too straight” for queer spaces have never just been about bi people. the narrative that there was a time when bi history was without pan people or pan people didn’t historically experience the same stigma/exclusion as bi people is simply erasure of pan history.

and saying pan people are seen as more queer or are more accepted within queer spaces than bi people erases pan people’s lived experiences of the same high rates of exclusion, invalidation, violence, and abuse as bi people. pan people are not thought of or treated better than bi people in any material way.

lastly, stop thinking shitting on pan people or pitting pan people and bi people against each other is somehow combatting biphobia.

[lastoneout]

I gotta tell you. You are out here fighting god's biggest battles with reminding people that James Somerton was POINTEDLY BIPHOBIC. CANNOT thank you enough for it. the irony of people forgetting biphobia while dunking on James for his queer erasure is... sure a thing that's happening! Not here to dunk on those people forgetting, i'm sure it's not intentional, not worth infighting about when we've got the james somertons of the world to deal with, but... Bisexuals see and appreciate you for speaking up about it!

I am more than glad to fight the battle bcs ngl the Becky Albertalli thing was bad enough(tbh I'm still fucking mad about the way she got treated over Love, Simon) but just hearing him call Valkyrie a lesbian made me want to rip a building apart with my bare fucking hands. I could chew glass. And like I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt when I got to that part of Todd's video bcs I'm a fool and I get that he clearly does less than 0 research for anything but like I KNOW explicitly erasing her sexuality is a Choice He Made On Purpose bcs I fucking checked and every single article and fanwiki page and shit that I could find calls her bisexual. It is impossible to look up information about this character without her bisexuality coming up front and center. So either he stole from someone who did that on purpose(which is bad bcs stealing and also not fact-checking) or he did it on purpose bcs he has really fucking weird opinions about bisexual women. Maybe both!

Anyway, I am just one angry bisexual but I will not stop pointing this out bcs I know how tempting it is for the queer community to act like bi people are only hated for being gay lite or w/e and I'm not gonna sit by and let it keep happening. Biphobia, or like bigotry against multisexual people in general bcs pan and omni people are in the same boat as us here, is real and it's fucking insidious and we MUST combat it when we see it.

[talisidekick]

At the heart of it all, the goal is to make you feel pain. That is the sole point of all bullying, of discrimination, of homophobia, of biphobia, of aphobia, of transphobia, of bigotry. The hate isn't consistent, it'll never be consistent, it's not supposed to be consistent, the purpose is convenience.

They'll call you "faggot" and hurt you for being gay and act like they recognize you as someone who's homosexual, then turn around and call you a confused, misguided, lost, corrupted, or predatory straight person; it's whatever suits their rhetoric to hurt you in every way. You're gay so they can make fun of you, but not gay so they can legitimise denying you the right of agency to be who you are and be with who you want. This goes for every sexual orientation that isn't straight.

They'll call you "tranny" and hurt you for being transgender and act like they recognize you as transgender, but turn around and deny you're transgender by calling you confused, lost, misguided, decieved, or predatory. It's whatever is convienent to cause you pain, strip you of agency, and treat you less than human. Non-Binary, trans men, trans women, trans neutral, gender fluid, xeno gender, all types that aren't blanket cisgender at the base get treated this way. It's for the convenience of mistreatment.

We try to find reason, some value behind it to explain why. And it has been in my experience that even if they do say they have a reason; "protect children", "protect women", "protect the sanctity of marriage", "protect religion", "protect family values", etc. when challenged and reasoned with, when those 'reasons' are even remotely threatened to be untrue, invalid, or misguided the result is seldom a discussion, but immediate denial, reiteration, and rejustification of violence and harm. Often, you're painted as unreasonable and wrong, branded as someone not to listen to. The horrible truth is, at the outset, you are branded as less than equal, so equal discussion, equal debate, collaboration, was never an option. The only reason your voice was entertained was solely so they could win a fight and prove you wrong to justify hurting you further.

The point of bigotry, is bigotry. The point of discrimination, is discrimination. The point of the pain is because they can. You're not actually a problem for being transgender, gay, bi, or queer. Thats just their justification to use you as an outlet. You're a punching bag so the one hitting you can feel powerful.

The moment you understand this, you can learn how not to play the political game these bigots, these bullies, are playing. They're not interested in learning from debate, so stop falling into that trap. Why do you think people call transgender, gay, and queer people funny? The only way to combat bigotry and bigots, is to make it ridiculous. To turn it into a joke. To turn it around on them because thats what they're trying to do to you. Never undervalue the power of education, but there's no sense in fighting when it's rigged against you. You won't change their minds, so don't try to. Educate the crowd, then laugh it off. Or just walk away. The threat is serious, but once again, you can't win a game they've rigged for you to lose, so don't play it. Spread joy, not hate. Emotion speaks louder than reason and actions speak louder than words. Learn to laugh back. It'll also make you feel a little less shitty.

[bisolationist]

This is the part that makes me go. Oh. Hmm.

The response seemed more along the lines of "well OBVIOUSLY it's true that men being sexually assaulted is an immeasurably lesser crime on the spectrum but we should be nice because maybe individually they're really hurt by it uwu"

This is what I mean by how I'm tired of subjectivity-of-experience being a vaguery by which people concede that our trauma (subjective response) might be great while the harm (objective crime) is vastly lesser. I already wrote a very off-hand post about this and I can't believe we even got another assault comparison. Now this response wasn't nearly so bad as what I was referencing to there, but it's still the same pattern of buying into that rhetoric.

The OP's response is seemingly compassionate (and I think there's genuine compassion behind it!), but imo is a rhetorical dead-end and hollow of meaningful criticism.

Saying that someone's trauma-response to something might merit compassion is good of course, but it does nothing to combat the implication that it should be a far lesser crime in terms of punishment, and seems to implicitly concede the anon's rhetoric on it being a different magnitude of harm. People already know different people react to events differently. But if they see you reacting strongly to something they seem mild, they see you as weak, manipulative, or both. So to people like anon, I think this response doesn't refute any of the beliefs they are espousing, it just reinforces the idea that male SA victims that exhibit trauma responses are reacting strongly to something mild and should be treated accordingly.

All of this to say... uhm, like sorry but sometimes the correct response is to say "being sexually assaulted is not like breaking a fucking ankle being sexually assaulted is not like breaking a fucking ankle being sexually assaulted is not like breaking a fucking ankle", not to plead the case that broken-ankle victims might FEEL as bad as someone who was violently hatecrimed, because that implicitly concedes the premise.

Note on that: not lost on me that the example chosen, a broken ankle, is something more associated with accidents. I've also written before on how people are determined to view victimization they think is unimportant as accidents/collateral and go out of their way to examine it as such (I talk about biphobia being talked about this way too, but I think it carries over to a lot of experiences).

[bisexualfagdyke]

I wish there was more of a bisexual community on this app!! I would LOVE more mutuals/friends who are bisexual butches/femmes, bisexual dykes / fags / fagdykes, trans bisexuals, inclusionist bisexuals, and especially those interested in bisexual activism, combatting biphobia / monosexism, and overall anyone passionate about bisexuality!!!

[readingbibooks]

“Heterosexism makes me wish I was straight and biphobia makes me wish I was a lesbian - but remove those oppressions and that leaves me feeling glad to be Bi. It’s really important that we are aware of the effects of heterosexism and biphobia on us - it isn’t that they just hurt us and make us feel sad. They are an abrasive on our sexuality - and we can only combat them if we organise in a way that increases our own awareness, as well as others’ awareness.”

- Frances Murphy, Bisexual Horizons: Politics, Histories, Lives