#clear and their relationship isn’t even supposed to be one of the focal ones

[aalghul]

i think often about how teen titans ‘03 failed from start to finish to portray a team and relationships worth investing in. were we reading about a team or 3 characters the writers liked + a cast of extras they threw around as they liked all the while not even having the favoured characters interact with each other in a worthwhile way

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

You did it again! Loved “Across the Bar”. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 😝 I didn’t actually have another request ready, but I needed to think up at least one more after reading that. 😌

Another Shawn. (For me it’s always Shawn; it’s pathetic really.) I read something recently that had such good back and forth banter between the couple in the story. So, I guess I’m just looking for something fun and flirty in an established relationship. Maybe throw in some dirty/sexy innuendos, but it doesn’t have to lead to smut since you just did one of those for me. LOL Feel free to get him (or her) all flustered/worked up though. There can always a be denial in the follow through (or a future promise). 😆 Some quips or ribbing, some playful teasing, a little competitiveness? Maybe during something mundane or everyday, like she goads him into doing yoga with her or something. (Just an example- the first I thought up; it can be whatever you might like it to be.)

Idk. What do you think?

I kept this one a little shorter, only wanted to the banter to be focal point.

Written for Graduation Blurb Weekend. Today, May 8th, 2022, is the last day to submit a request. 

Female Reader Insert. CW: 18+ Content (Smut Adjacent)

Cleaning Day

_____________

Saturdays and Sundays are cleaning days. There’s no way around this. There's no avoiding the fates. There is only ever joining in, or at the very least, not interrupting the flow. Shawn, after the bed shakes for a moment, listens. You brush your teeth, get dressed, and then shuffle out the room. Though Shawn knows he’s not going back to sleep, he continues to lay in bed, cradling the pillow to his chest. A speaker beeps to life. 

It’s going to happen. It’s all going to happen and then a moment later, Shawn hears the crooning of Mary J. Blige. There it goes. Shawn pushes up from the mattress a little and listens to the cabinets opening and closing. He tries to remember what part of the house you’re supposed to be tackling today. Last weekend you deep cleaned the bathrooms and prepped dinner. Shawn thinks that maybe you’re going to tackle the kitchen. 

And if you are going to deep clean the kitchen, that means he needs to get up because you’re definitely going to go for washing walls and deep cleaning the stove. Which means he needs to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. Shawn makes quick work of brushing his teeth and throws on pants, but forgoes a t-shirt. Mostly because the one he was going to wear isn’t on the back of the chair and he assumes you’ve snagged it. 

Stepping out of the door, Shawn immediately spots you on your step stool. You’re pulling the stuff from off the top of the fridge and he walks over, hands resting gently on your waist. “Hey, hot stuff,” you grin, turning to look at him. 

“Good morning to you too,” he laughs, pinching your ass. “Also that’s my shirt and you know it!”

“Guess you’ll have to take it off me.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? Love me to undress you?”

You laugh for a moment before you can return. “You love it too. Don’t even lie.”

He laughs, but stays behind you to ensure you don’t get wobbly trying to clear off the top of the fridge. He’d offer to do the job himself, but you’d refuse having already started it and he doesn’t mind the facefull of your panty cladded backside. When you start to shift, Shawn takes a step back and lets you set all the boxes and tins onto the counter. 

“Are you going to deep clean out the fridge too?” Shawn asks, pulling out your gloves and buckets. Inside of them already are the sponges and cleaners you’ve designated for the kitchen. 

“We probably should see what has expired and what’s still good.”

Shawn hums, filling one bucket with some warm water. “So clean appliances, walls, counters and then we deep dive into the fridge.”

“Sounds like a man with a plan,” you return, sliding up behind Shawn. You playfully tap his ass before kissing the back of his bicep. 

“Hey, missy. What’s going on here?”

“Oh, come off it. You love it when I play with your ass.” You give your thanks and take the bucket from Shawn. He squawks, watching you go back to the step stool to begin the cleansing. He does, but that’s not the thing he expected from you first thing in the morning. He laughs and fills the second bucket to start on wiping down the walls of the kitchen. This deep of a clean is a two person job and slowly over the months, Shawn has picked up on all your little intricacies. You like to clean the appliance first and the walls. Then you clean counters. 

And when it’s not cleaning, Shawn has learned the small things about you too. Like the way you do a two-step to almost any song that you love. You love having more time in the morning to do things than the mornings so you wake early out of dedication to keeping a schedule. Your prefer cooler showers if you’re showering in the morning and warmer showers at night. And it’s all the small things, but it’s those things that matter the most between the two of you. 

Another song comes up on the shuffle and both you and Shawn start to belt out the lyrics. He spins to watch you and you turn from the wiping down the fridge handles to sing to each other. He’s the singer, obviously, at how flawlessly he hits the higher notes, but you love to join in with him. Laughter and giggles fall from you two after the note passes and the two of you resume your assigned work. 

As the morning progresses, the two of you keep passing teasing touches. Shawn’s hand on your ass. You trail your nails over his stomach. It’s intimate, gives both of you a fluster, but is clearly not taking precedent. Shawn steps away to the restroom, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay. Don’t fall in,” you call out behind him. 

Shawn laughs. “I’ll do my best.”

The music continues to filter around the kitchen and you scrub at the oven floor after letting the cleaner sit for the last hour. A couple minutes later, Shawn returns back to the kitchen and as he passes, he cups the back of your neck and tilts your head back. 

“Yes, my dear?” you ask, batting your lashes up at him. 

“Oh, so innocent. But not later,” he teases, thumb teasing your lips. 

“Oh, later, I’ll never be innocent again,” you return, tongue flicking out against his thumb. Your heart is racing just a little in your chest and you’re cursing the way the wetness gathers between your legs, but it’s Shawn and he’ll always make it so easy for you. You’ll never resist him. 

A small punch of arousal hits Shawn’s gut and he squats down to capture your lips into a kiss. “Love you,” he whispers. 

“Love you too.” He stands and turns to the sink to wipe it down.

“Love your ass in those boxer briefs too,” you tack on. Shawn punctuates the sentence with a tiny wiggle and the sound of both of your later bounces over the lyrical flow of Lauryn Hill.

[iguessitsjustme]

Triage, Tin, and Time Loops

Well. Boy have I had some thoughts about Triage this week. I haven’t had a chance to sit down and write them out until now because somehow, I have been busy. Doing what you ask? I do not know, I just know I was busy. Anyway, it’s time for me to lose my mind about Tin. Before the most recent episode, I lost my mind about Tol (here). Keep in mind that many of my predictions were wrong and I am ever so happy about it. ANYWAY.

We already know so, so much about Tin. Tin is the one who has been suffering from the time loop since the beginning. It’s been *checks MDL* 10 episodes and Tin has been stuck in a time loop this entire time. This boy who has worked tirelessly to end the loop by preventing Tol’s death. He finally succeeded by dying in his place. Don’t even get me started on how it was Sing that called his time of death and how it was 10:55, the time that Tol was supposed to die. Tin finally escaped the loop.

But when Tin fought off that gunman, he wasn’t trying to end the loop. He wasn’t thinking that he needed Tol to live so the loop would break and he could finally end the cycle. Tin was thinking that he needed to protect Tol. He needed to save Tol. Only when Tin stopped trying to end the loop and started trying to save Tol was he successful.

And now we are going to learn about Tin the same way we learned about Tol. We already know so much about him as he has been the focal point. We know he’s smart, he’s loyal, and that he cares deeply for others. We know how he grieves for his sister, how he doesn’t disclose Rit’s medical condition to Tol even though it would clear up the misunderstandings because it is not his place to tell anyone Rit’s business. We know how he is willing to let Dr. Sak (seriously fuck that guy) needlessly scold him without talking back so he can go back to saving patients. We know so much. But we are about to learn what Tin is like outside of the loop.

All of Tin’s actions in the show so far, outside of episode 1, were all made because of the loop and his desire to leave it. He knows roughly what’s going to happen. He knows how to save the patients coming in. He is approaching everything with a vast amount of knowledge. Now he is going to know nothing. Now Tol is going to have the burden and the weight of the time loop on his shoulders. Will Tin be as guarded as Tol was when they meet? I doubt it, but he isn’t going to jump immediately into his arms either. Both Tin and Tol have had to do a lot of work for the relationship. It took Tin time to learn how to approach Tol. He was so careful and he made sure that Tol knew he could be trusted. 

Tin is ultimately a careful person. So how is he going to handle being approached by someone like Tol. And it’s not like Tol is entering the time loop in his most stable mental state. Tin was better prepared for each loop reset. He is a doctor after all. He saw death every day. And while it hurt him, he was able to carry on. He was able to continue and he was able to keep fighting through the loop. Tol hasn’t experienced loss like Tin has. So he is going to be over eager when he sees Tin again. Tin, alive and smiling. How will Tin react to Tol’s eagerness? I think he will be more receptive to Tol, he has the patience of a doctor after all.

[joonkorre]

(love) is a heartache

@drarrymicrofic prompt: hope is a heartache - léon

let it be known that harry goes through life purely on vibes. half of his reasons why for every decision at his big age are “idk imma just hope for the best”

ao3

People’s hearts twinge sometimes. For Draco, he can barely remember the last time he doesn’t have these twinges. It’s pretty normal at this point.

“No, it’s not,” Pansy says. She’s a Healer, so she’s probably right. But Draco prefers to ignore that.

“Leave it be,” Draco murmurs, lips against her scalp, “I’m fine. Say, are you free tomorrow?”

“Yeah. You want to go somewhere?”

“Mm. Sleep.”

They go out the next morning, Pansy in thick makeup and Draco practically drunk under nine layers of Charms. The air is a bit humid, which seems to get worse when the bustling street intensifies in volume into a roaring din. Pansy pulls him under an awning, yanking at his sleeve a bit to try out her disgusting sugary coffee. She always does this whenever she wants to take his attention away from something, which means he just has to look at exactly where she’s doesn’t want him to. As his lips wrap around her lipstick-stained straw, he glances up.

Across the street, a couple strolls through a gushing crowd. Fiery red hair, airy laughter, a pale arm wrapped around her fiancé’s waist. Curls of black, sleek spectacles, a protective palm on his fiancee’s shoulder. They make the perfect picture, a vibrant oil painting. Their existence is formed from bold strokes of sunlight and starburst kisses, with the focal point being a shock of phthalo green and cadmium lemon, two minute specks that make all the difference. As all good paintings do, they pin the viewer on the spot, as if the viewer himself is a thing to behold. Then they shift away.

The exhibit moves forward and out of sight. It’s closing time, the viewer has overstayed his welcome.

Something leaps in Draco’s chest and splatters on the floor of his stomach. Placing her hand over his heart, Pansy frowns at him. She doesn’t ask why Potter stared at someone who looked like a stranger to him. Only tells him to start finding answers.

Months later, on the most awaited day in recent Wizarding history, there’s a knock on Draco’s door.

He throws on a sweater, and a throw, too, for good measure. Ambling to the door, he checks the mail slot before peeking through the peephole. Nobody but a package is outside. Draco hums and unlocks his door, crouching down the moment it opens. What feels like soft satin brushes against his cheek, cool and smooth. With a flash, a pair of shiny dress shoes appear before him.

“Draco.”

Draco peers up as he rises, hands around the package. Potter has his maddening Invisibility Cloak slung over his arm, his roguish charm heightened by a perfectly fitted three-piece suit. A tiny posy is pinned on his left lapel, muted green hellebores with a few sprigs of privet berries. He’s dressed like a man in love.

Draco feels something he hasn’t felt in months at the sight. He’s trained himself to suppress it the moment it showed itself and has been relatively successful until now. The sting, without warning, bursts from within his chest, calling forth a slight wince. Potter’s brows furrow.

"How do you know where I live?"

“How long has this been going on?”

Draco frowns. “Pardon?”

“That,” Potter gestures at Draco’s chest. “The heartache.”

He rears back. What the hell is he supposed to say to that? At Potter’s unchanging expression, Draco shoves his hair out of his face with a quiet huff and puts a hand on the doorknob.

“It’s none of your business. Please leave.”

“It is, actually,” Potter stops the closing door with one arm.

“Excuse me? We haven't had a proper conversation in more than a decade and suddenly you want to act like we're friends? Leave, now.”

“Listen to me. How can it not be my business when I feel it, too?”

“Check with a Healer, then. If you can put past grudges aside, I can hand you Pansy Parkinson’s business card,” Draco grits through his teeth, pushing against the door with his entire body, his throw slipping to the ground.

“Draco, stop, I already know, stop.”

“Know what? No, I don't care. Leave at once, else I’d alert the Aurors.”

A rough slam sends Draco staggering back. Potter pants, hard lines on his face. His chest heaves under his crisp white shirt, its top two buttons unclasped, and he steps over the threshold, closing the door.

“You think they’d believe you?”

The pain shoots from his chest to the rest of his body, and for several seconds, his lungs wouldn’t work. He whips his head away from Potter, who groans and sags against the wall.

“I told you to leave.”

“I’m sorry, that was a shitty thing to say,” Potter says immediately, sweat dotting his temples.

After an uncomfortable pause, clearing his throat, he picks up the near-forgotten package from the carpet. His hand feels around the outline of the object within, rectangular and heavy. Glancing at Draco, he says hoarsely. “I know why you bought this book.”

“Know this, know that, you know nothing,” Draco lunges forward, only for Potter to twist out of the way and raise the package out of his reach.

“The Life-long Burden of Dark Curses: A Caution by Elise Arrowlane, limited edition,” he says, unbothered by Draco’s slackened jaw. “You ordered it from the new bookstore on Diagon months ago. You were small and old and grey, but I recognized you. I always could.”

“Okay,” Draco sneers, “so you’re a stalker. Old news. Anything else?”

“There’s no need to order one. I would’ve borrowed it from Hermione if you had only asked,” Potter says. “Instead, I got curious and read it for myself. That’s how I connected the dots about the heartache, how I realized we’ve both had it since that day years ago.”

“Oh, the day you slashed me into ribbons and almost cut through my heart?” Draco clenches his jaw.

Being able to shout this ugly kind of truth into the perpetrator’s face feels oddly liberating. That is, if liberation also comes with a specific kind of agony that makes Draco want to fall to his knees.

“Dark Magic leaves a mark on both the wizard and their victim, doesn’t it? No need for a book to tell us that,” Potter says, the harsh afternoon glow of him gentled by the soft lamplight in Draco’s hallway. “In certain cases, it even leaves a link. A connection.”

Draco bites the inside of his cheek and looks away. The only consequence from that horrid night was his fucked up heart and nothing else, nothing at all. Whatever Potter is insinuating, he hates it. He hates this. He hates him.

“How are you so sure there’s a connection.”

“I wasn’t,” Potter says. “The Healers said it’s a health thing I developed after the War and I just needed to avoid strenuous activity. I didn’t think much of it, but then I read the book and realized that it usually flared up whenever you watched me.”

Scoffing, Draco turns and stalks into the kitchen. Walking past the boiling kettle, he throws a cabinet door open and grabs a mug, his hand trembling.

“Interesting how my health suffers when I see the bastard who quite literally carved me open.”

“I was eating dinner when I thought I was going to die of a heart attack at 23,” Potter continues. Draco pulls the drawers out, unable to find a single bag of tea for several excruciating moments. “The next day, I was reading about your mother’s death on the Daily Prophet. That was the first sign.”

Grabbing a rag and wetting it, Draco wipes the countertop even as he’s just done so last night.

“When Ginny saw you on the street during our date and extended her hand toward you, you shook it. But your heart ached.

“I saw you looking at the picture of Ginny and I kissing on the front page of Witch Weekly. Your hair was brown and your back was curved, but I saw you. Your heart ached.

“When I announced my engagement to her on the Battle of Hogwarts’s 10th Anniversary, you were clapping along with everyone else. But your heart ached.”

Draco throws the rag on the counter. The kettle whistles, a piercing sound. “What’s your point? Are you here purely to flaunt your relationship and imply that I’m in love with Ginevra Weasley? If so, I got it. Thank you so very much, it’s been enlightening. Now get out.”

“The point is,” Potter says, lifting the kettle off the burner to pour it into Draco’s mug, placing his tea bag in, “unless the article about you being gay was wrong, Ginny isn’t the one you’re in love with.”

“What arti—” Draco stops. “That was years ago.”

His sexuality was leaked to some irrelevant gossip rag, not even making the front page. Nobody noticed, nothing changed, and it hasn’t entered his mind in what feels like forever until Potter reminds him.

“I remember.”

“You—” Draco frowns. His eyes strain on the cup of tea until they hurt. He squeezes them shut, sighing. “It doesn’t prove anything. Perhaps I’m jealous of my childhood nemesis having a better life than me, ever thought of that?”

“Yeah,” Potter says, “I’ve thought about this a lot. Which is why I’m here. To make sure.”

Draco takes it in, then, unable to help himself, curls his lips at Potter and his attire. At his artfully gelled hair, his hanging bow tie, the elegant boutonniere on the lapel of his dark blue suit. His empty ring finger.

“Couldn’t you have chosen a better date to make sure? Preferably before your wedding day?”

Potter steps closer. A respectable distance away, but closer.

“I could’ve, but I spent most of those days in denial. Then the dots connected and I couldn’t deny it anymore, so I decided to just go through with the wedding regardless, be with the woman I loved. Hoped that maybe the odd emotions I had would go away,” he shrugs, raising his eyes to meet Draco’s. “Saw Ginny at the end of the aisle and, well, I couldn’t stop thinking that it should’ve been someone else. All this time, I’ve thought that she didn’t feel… right in my arms, but I pushed it down. And there she was in that white dress.

“Seeing that today was the last straw. I had to leave.”

Draco’s breath catches in his throat. Swallowing it down, he grabs his mug, scooping out the tea bag just to have something to do. He takes a sip without blowing, ignoring its scalding heat.

“That was stupid.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re so fucking stupid,” Draco can feel a headache building. “That was a horrible decision. I never imagined you—you!—out of all people, could be this irresponsible. What the fuck.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am. Merlin, that poor fucking woman. If your purpose here is to make me feel bad for Ginevra and all 300 of her relatives for once in my life, you’ve succeeded, congratulations.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that to me, say that to—oh, you’d do what you want no matter what I say, wouldn’t you?”

“Depends on the situation.”

“‘Depends on the situation,’ he says,” Draco mocks, getting a carton of milk from the fridge to save his bitter, bitter tea. Potter doesn’t reply. Stirring the milk in, Draco lets out a heavy sigh.

“What do you want me to do about this?” He says. “I didn’t make you run out of your own wedding. If you expect me to take the blame for your inane decisions, the first person I Floo wouldn’t be the Aurors, but Ginevra Weasley herself.”

A small smile graces Potter’s lips. “I don’t expect anything from you but honesty.”

Draco squints.

“And how will you know if what I say is a lie? Will you reject my genuine answer if it’s not what you want to hear?”

“That won’t be a problem,” Potter says. “I trust your heart will speak the truth for us both.”

There’s a pang in Draco’s chest, and judging from the twitch of Potter’s brow, he can feel it too. Not another word is said, the two men merely facing each other from across a tiny kitchen, considering. Draco can feel the warmth of sunlight beaming through the little window and coating his nape as he leans against the sink, earl grey on his tongue. Lovely citric notes of bergamot drift up his nose. He closes his eyes. What to do, what to do.

Weightless oxfords clack against the yellowed tiles, clear and bright in Draco’s ears. Fabric rustles as Potter slips a hand into his pocket only to retrieve it a second later. Draco lets himself be cornered, barely glancing at the wool-clad arms caging either side of his waist. A clink catches his attention, however, and he tilts his head to the left.

Millimeters beside Draco’s hand on the counter, glinting in the sun, is a wedding band. Draco knows Potter and Ginevra’s in and out, has examined the picture on that day’s issue of the Daily Prophet more times than he should have. He knows the marquise droplets of Ginevra’s gems and the chevron curve of her ring, the blankness of Potter’s own band a dream and a question in his mind.

The band that’s resting on the counter is different. Rustic gold and a fissure in the middle, the fertile earth splitting open to reveal a stream of diamonds, a sparkling river. Draco sets his mug to the side and holds the ring up close, his finger smoothing over the grooves of its texture.

“Did you make a stop at a jewelry store before breaking into my home?” He asks.

“No,” Harry murmurs. Draco looks at him in surprise. “I’ve had this with me for months.”

A pause.

“I thought you said you were in denial.”

“I was, but I knew, somewhat, that I wanted someone else,” Harry’s head lowers, slow and careful, until his forehead rests against Draco’s shoulder. “I told myself that I just liked the way it looked, had to get it in case I didn’t want the other ring anymore. But I got it a size smaller. Been carrying it in my pocket ever since.”

Draco’s heart throbs and throbs. Large hands circle his waist, bunching up the back of his sweater and pressing him close, chest to chest. A blanket of pure heat envelops his body as he breathes in the timeless saffron and neroli of cologne, half-lidded eyes pinned on the band he’s given. Oh, dear, he thinks, and again when it settles at the base of his ring finger with ease, as if it belongs there and never left. Oh, dear.

[hellsbellschime]

A Brief Exploration Of How Generational Trauma Destroys The World

Although The Umbrella Academy is only two seasons deep, one thing about the family that serves as the focal point of this story seems abundantly clear. They are absolutely, abysmally awful at their jobs.

After the bizarre births of some seemingly extraordinary children, Sir Reginald Hargreeves set out to purchase as many of these oddities as possible with one singular purpose behind it in mind, using these exceptional kids to save the world. Although Reginald only managed to acquire seven of these baby flukes, each of the Hargreeves children were gifted with some extremely unusual superpowers that seem to set all of them up for a successful life as superheroes.

Reginald raised them with the most rigorous superhuman training that he could devise, and he explicitly intended for his children to save the world. However, after nearly two decades of training and experience, along with a few major bumps in the road, the vast majority of the Umbrella Academy decided to leave the life of the hero behind.

But despite the fact that the children were raised to save the world, it seems like they can't help but to end it. The family has been estranged for years, but now, over the course of two seasons, they've managed to end the world twice, and in both instances it was just mere days after reuniting as a family. So, why the hell do all of the Hargreeves kids suck at life so hard?

Although the Hargreeves clan is supposed to be a squad of superheroes, the reality of the situation is that they are truly just a group of neglected and traumatized children who are not equipped to deal with adulthood, and their lack of ability to cope seems to have catastrophic consequences for the rest of the world. However, each one of the children is dysfunctional in their own way.

LUTHER

Oh, Number 1. Luther is the assigned leader of the Umbrella Academy, but it's painfully, awkwardly obvious that Allison might be the only one to even possibly defer to Luther in an emergency situation.

It is very interesting though, that Reginald has made Luther his number 1. Clearly Luther doesn't have the necessary leadership skills to keep his siblings on task, but he also arguably has one of the least useful superpowers of the entire group. So then, why is it that he's number 1?

Well, the obvious answer seems to be that, while he is not the most powerful, he may be the most useful to Reginald, because he is the only one of Reginald's children who actually tows the company line. He's the only person who has truly committed his life to Reginald's failed experiment, so even if he's the least powerful, he provides the most utility to Reginald.

In Reginald's eyes it's easy to see why Luther may have been the most important, however through the eyes of a normal human being, it's easy to see why Luther's experience growing up in the Umbrella Academy and his experience as Number 1 was so psychologically damaging to him. Luther seems to go to great lengths to seek approval and love specifically from people who always deny him, and this self sabotaging behavior seems to be reflected in many of the largest and smallest aspects of Luther's life.

Luther shouldered a disproportionate amount of blame for ending the world in season 1. Yes, his actions did have the direst consequences that any actions can have, but it's not at all difficult to understand his train of thought.

Firstly, he's the only member of the Hargreeves family who has never been able to escape his abuser. Luther's entire self identity is designed around what Reginald has taught him, and his overly simplistic idea of what a hero is and how he needs to lead his family is one of the many ways in which Luther demonstrates that he truly has not experienced life outside of his abusive childhood.

Secondly, it should come as no surprise at all that Luther's first instinct on how to handle Vanya is to do exactly what Reginald would have done. Despite the fact that no one actually remembers Vanya being locked up, Luther's reaction to the threat that Vanya poses is astonishingly predictable given that he is built by Reginald's design, through and through.

But finally, while Luther's actions are obviously the incorrect ones, clearly his assumptions about the threat that Vanya posed were absolutely correct. There were very few reasonable courses of action when the family realized that Vanya not only had powers, but had become dangerously unstable surprisingly quickly. Luther did take the wrong course of action, but there was really nothing wrong with his thought process behind it, and ironically it was likely only Reginald's extended isolation of Vanya in her childhood that led to Luther's imprisonment of her in adulthood causing such apocalyptic consequences.

Although Luther is a product of his environment, it's clear that he takes his duties as a real life superhero seriously. And interestingly, even though he was the last child to extricate himself from Reginald (and he didn't extricate himself willingly), he has actually shown himself to be one of the most easily self-reflective and self-critical characters in season 2 of The Umbrella Academy.

Luther made an enormous mistake because he recognized that Vanya was a powder keg ready to explode, but the choices that he made actually caused that bomb to go off. When he sees Vanya again, it's understandable that his first instinct is to eliminate the threat at any cost. But after just a few moments of consideration, he takes responsibility for his own actions, he recognizes that he needs to change, and he acknowledges that Vanya deserves the opportunity to change as well. Ironically, one of his first choices as an individual that isn't directed and controlled by Reginald is exactly the kind of decision that a good leader would make, which really goes to show how much Reginald's influence has stifled Luther's growth as a person.

DIEGO

If you're not first, you're last. Despite the fact that Diego is outwardly the most resistant to the training and indoctrination that his abusive father foisted upon him, it seems like Diego's position as Number 2 is how he has defined himself for his entire life.

The effect that Reginald's abuse had seems to be the most obvious with Diego out of anyone in the family, because it controls every aspect of his being. Everything that Diego thinks, says, or does is in reaction to his realization and understanding that he was raised by an abusive monster, as well as his deep and unyielding desire to experience true parental love in a way that was always denied to him.

It's intriguing but understandable that, despite hating his father more than anyone, Diego wound up becoming his Number 2. Because although Diego seems to mold himself in a reactionary way against everything that his father taught him, he's still the most ardently heroic member of the family, even more so than Luther.

Interestingly, despite the fact that Diego appears to be the most aggressive and brash member of the family, it seems like whenver he makes an attempt to express any of his sincere or deep emotions, he has a lot of trouble doing so directly. Both in the literal sense, due to his stutter, but also in an emotional and psychological sense too.

Like many of the Hargreeves kids, Diego's form of dysfuction almost seems to be an extension of his own superpower. He can literally adjust the trajectory of flying objects when they're already in flight, and his life's obsession seems to be redirecting his heroic story arc in the direction that he wants to see it go instead of along the path that his father set out for him. However, it's still incredibly telling and meaningful that Diego still defines himself by the heroic archetype that his father forced on to him when he was a child.

Similarly, Diego seems to be equally conflicted in his feelings towards his siblings. He at times embraces them, at times resists them, and he always seems to want to redefine the relationships that they all have on his terms instead of his father's terms. And the fact that he is so ardent that they all be a part of Team Zero when he spent his entire life playing the role of Number Two just goes to show that while he seems to rebel against everything that Reginald forced upon him, he still defines himself, his family, and the world in the terms that the Hargreeves patriarch laid out for him.

ALLISON

On the surface it would seem like Allison is the Hargreeves sibling who has gotten the closest to achieving a relatively normal life and who is the most capable of relating to others on a more healthy and normal psychological level, but it's still clear that her power defines how she relates to people and relates to the world, whether or not she's actually using it at the time.

Clearly her relationship with Luther is her most important familial bond, and while she doesn't seem to share Luther's more romantic interest in her, she does seem to be very keen to lean in to the person that Luther sees her as. And it's an understandable impulse, since it would appear that she doesn't use her powers on Luther or anyone in her family besides Vanya, so he's one of the few people who's interpretation of her she can actually rely on to be truthful.

But even when Allison can't or won't use her superpowers, her attempts at relating to other people or to society at large seem to be mostly driven by a need to control, redirect, or otherwise influence their way of thinking, even if they're extremely resistant to it. Of course, this isn't an entirely uncommon behavior, and it is an attitude that can be enormously beneficial in some situations while enormously detrimental in others.

However, the damage that Reginald has done to Allison is readily apparent because, regardless of the fact that she has been able to form deeper and more complex interpersonal relationships than any of her siblings, she still has no understanding of how to relate to people outside of her power.

And why would she? Allison's constant attempts at creating a normal life that seem to inevitably fail are not just failures because she is a superhuman trying to live in a human world. It's because she never had a fully dimensional and fleshed out human experience as a child. She wasn't seen as a person, but as a power, so she only knows how to develop or maintain relationships in which she exercises some sort of psychological control over the people she is engaging with, regardless of whether or not she's actually using her power in order to do it.

KLAUS

Klaus is undeniably one of the most compelling characters in the entire series, and it's easy to see why his childhood trauma has resulted in such extreme behavior and personality traits in his adulthood.

Reginald is a parent who did an exceptionally poor job of socializing his own children in a way that would help them function in the real world, but that lack of appropriate parenting seems like it would have the most extreme impact on Klaus, because Klaus' power is inherently social.

Seeing ghosts would be terrifying for any child and pretty much any adult on earth, but for a child who has no idea how to interact or relate to others, it could be an utterly crippling ability to have.

It's clear that the ghosts that Klaus typically sees are spirits who have some sort of unfinished business left in the world. And not only would any child be astonishingly incompetent when it came to dealing with those kinds of emotionally and psychologically complex situations, but the fact that Klaus' father mostly psychologically neglected and occasionally outright terrorized him meant that he had a very mentally draining and damaging power and was given no tools or coping skills with which to deal with them.

More than any other member of the Hargreeves family, it is Klaus that does everything that he can in order to escape his power, which is ironic considering that it was the only characteristic that his father seemed to think was relevant about him.

But, Klaus' desire to dull his senses by any means necessary was a rational response from a poorly emotionally developed person that was stuck in an astoundingly bizarre and psychologically taxing situation. In a sense, none of the siblings were failed by Reginald quite as much as Klaus was.

And that is a truly tragic result of Klaus' exceptional abilities. It's very telling that Klaus seems to occupy some metaphysical space between life and death that allows him to commune with the dead, but he's also terrified of losing the ones that he loves to death.

If most people knew with any degree of certainty that the afterlife was real, let alone if they could actually commune with the dead, it would be a huge relief. But Klaus lied to Ben about going into the light because he was afraid to lose him, and he spent most of the second season doing whatever he could to save Dave from certain death. But why? Well, because his father made his own abilities, and the dead, into his source of constant terror.

FIVE

Interestingly, despite the fact that he spent the least amount of time with Reginald out of all of his siblings, it seems that Five's utilitarian attitude towards heroism mirrors his father's the most closely out of anyone. It's easy to see why that would be the case, but the fact that Five's reaction to the most extreme trauma that any of the Hargreeves kids have endured is to act more like Reginald than any of the other members of his family is a strong indication of how abuse and generational trauma can affect an individual as well as an entire family.

However, there is one stark difference between Five and Reginald. While Five has a very easy time grasping the greater good in any morally difficult situation, he still goes out of his way to prioritize the health, safety, or survival of his family whenever he can.

With all of the Hargreeves children, there is an element of conflict that arises from the fact that they were raised being told that they had to save humanity, but they were also raised in a way that completely disconnected them from humanity. And with no character is that conflict more apparent than with Five.

Five is ready and willing to sacrifice nearly anyone that he feels he must on the altar of the greater good, but his emotional connection to his family is extremely strong, and even in the most dire of circumstances it seems like he always keeps them as his priority.

It's an interesting dichotomy for the character, because the distance between him and the rest of his siblings is larger and longer, both literally and psychologically, than anyone else in the Hargreeves family, but he seems to be almost entirely oriented around his family at the expense of himself. And it's a sharp contrast with his father, his father seems to have reacted to world-ending trauma by ensuring he would have no familial bond with his children, but Five has reacted to it by holding on to his familial bonds as if they're the only thing in the world that matters.

Although the trauma that Five experienced in the post-apocalyptic world as well as during his tenure as a time-traveling assassin is probably far worse than the trauma that he experienced as a child being raised by Reginald Hargreeves, becoming the survivor of an apocalyptic holocaust led him to most clearly mirror and contrast the parent who spent his entire life raising him with the intent of preventing another apocalyptic holocaust.

BEN

Most of the Hargreeves siblings seem to have some sort of connection between their power and their personality, either because of nature or nuture, so it's fascinating that Ben seems to be diametrically opposed to his. His ability to summon and partially transform into some horrific Eldtritch creature seems to completely contrast to his innocent, sweet, and generally kind disposition. But why is that?

Ironically Ben seems to be the most well adjusted member of the Hargreeves family, and it's hard not to speculate that his maturity might actually be driven by the fact that he died young.

He was subjected to the abusive and neglectful parenting of Reginald just like the rest of his siblings, but through death he actually wound up escaping his abuser. So, while his literal growth came to an abrupt end, it seems like his personal growth may have actually begun.

On the one hand, it seems like Ben's behavior is an obvious signifier of the fact that his life stopped at a relatively young age, however, a lot of Ben's behavior and overall outlook on life seems to be exceptionally childlike, even for someone who died as a teenager. And that in combination with the fact that he seems to be so well adjusted in relation to his other family members begs the question of whether or not death finally allowed Ben to have the childhood that he deserved but never had.

Either way, it certainly says a lot that the two most well adjusted members of the Hargreeves family either spent most of their lives in an apocalyptic hellscape or literally dead.

VANYA

Poor Number 7. Being relegated to the least important member of your family is never an easy position to occupy for anyone, but it seems like Vanya is the purest and most clear manifestation of all of Reginald Hargreeves' failings as a parent and teacher.

There are a lot of curious complexities to Vanya, and it's obvious that having no real human parental influence is almost certainly why she became the most dangerous member of the Umbrella Academy despite not even using her powers for most of her life.

Reginald's fatal mistake with Vanya was his belief that constantly reminding her of how un-special she was would lead to her never becoming dangerous enough to do real damage to the world. But his assumption of what would be the best way to handle her seems to be based on an incorrect conclusion that Reginald drew based on Vanya's behavior towards her nannies.

It's quite an odd dynamic, because while Vanya seems to have extremely negative reactions towards the nannies that try to parent her, Vanya's behavior in general has demonstrated her to be an extremely emotional, empathetic, and kind individual who doesn't want to hurt anyone or anything. So why did she keep on lashing out at the women who were being hired to care for her?

Well, because she is someone who had never experienced a human parent-child dynamic, and therefore she lashed out emotionally when that dynamic was suddenly thrust upon her.

Vanya may have become dangerous after years of being horribly abused, but what's sad about the trajectory of her life is that she clearly had an abundance of emotion, much of it positive emotion, that she was desperate to express but couldn't.

Given that she has very quickly fallen in love twice over the course of two seasons, it's painfully obvious that she feels like she has a lot of love to give and no one to give it too, but it's also tragically clear that she doesn't know how to differentiate between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one.

Vanya dedicated her life to expressing herself through music, which is clearly deeply connected to the latent superpower that had been repressed for her entire life, but as a result of that enforced repression she even felt like a complete failure at that.

So, while everyone at the Umbrella Academy contributed to Vanya's meltdown in some way, the honest truth seems to be that nothing could have been done to prevent it. After a literal lifetime of total repression, abuse, and neglect, there was no other way for Vanya's abuse, or the abuse of all of the Hargreeves children, to end.

REGINALD

Of course, as the patriarch of the Hargreeves family, Reginald Hargreeves is truly the architect of his children's dysfunction. They all react to his neglect and abuse in their own way, but ironically the entire reason that the Umbrella Academy seems to repeatedly fail in it's sole mission is because of Reginald's single-minded focus on it. The Hargreeves children are doomed to destroy the world because all Reginald ever cared about was saving it.

Reginald is literally an alien, but the literal and metaphorical implications of a group of children who are raised in a world that separates them from their humanity is a rich textual and subtextual aspect of The Umbrella Academy.

Reginald himself is not a suitable parent to his children, but all of the outside influences that he allows on his children are literally not human either. Grace and Pogo provide some basic functional emotional satisfaction to the Hargreeves children, but they're still not people. They don't help the children to understand humanity or human existence any better, and they still serve to separate the Umbrella Academy from the very world that they're meant to protect.

On the whole, Reginald's abject failure as a parent, teacher, and creator is a fantastic allegory for the nature of generational trauma. Reginald is a failure as a parent for many reasons, but ultimately Reginald is a being who was extremely traumatized by the destruction of his own world, and as a parent, he passed that trauma down to his own children.

In that sense, the failure of The Umbrella Academy to live up to it's potential solely rests on the failings of Reginald himself.

[kamari333]

AO3 Tags and the Undertale Community

I went through my fics to re-tag my stuff after I saw the post by Galli talking about how fanon tags were supposed to go in as Additional Tags on AO3. I also re-read the Tag Wrangling support page on AO3, compared preexisting filterable tags, and reached a number of conclusions which I want to open up a discussion about.

I want this community to pull together and unify in its use of tags, and tagging patterns, so we can all identify the content we love accurately and safely. The more people who use the same tags, the more likely those tags will be made searchable by staff, and the easier it will be to find the content we want! But I don't think the volunteers are necessarily as savvy in the nuances of the fandom, so lets help them out by giving them the right info!

If I misunderstand any of these nuances in the guidelines, I want those who know better to help me get it right.

Long Post Incoming.

Firstly: Character Tags

Apparently the standard of Character tags is the format "<AU> <canon mirror> (Undertale)" example: "Underfell Sans (Undertale)". This is all well and good. Simple, no? Simply tag "Underlust Sans (Undertale)" and we all know Lust is in there.

So let me talk about the anomalies, the exceptions to this rule.

* Keep in mind I am only speaking in terms of the Undertale fandom, and any characters who have evolved beyond that to become originals in their own right are only being considered in the confines of their existence in terms of the Undertale fandom.

Who better to start with than Error when it comes to Anomalies? Error does not have an AU. He is only, and explicitly, known as Error. AO3 at this time has an "Alternate Universe - Errortale" tag, and is using "Errortale Sans (Undertale)" as a filterable tag, but these tags are inaccurate to who Error, as he was originally made by CQ, fundamentally is.

To combat this, and keeping in line with the rules of tag wrangling, I have started using the "Error | Not Sans Anymore (Undertale)" tag. This separates him from any alternate universe but still recognizes that he has his origins in Sans, and also separates him from his evolution outside the undertale fandom. I had considered and ultimately discarded "Error | Aftertale Sans (Undertale)" as an alternative, but I can certainly understand the argument given he is a logical progression of Geno, who by all rights should be tagged as "Geno | Aftertale Sans (Undertale)", separate from just regular "Aftertale Sans (Undertale)".

The next one I want to talk about is Ink. In accordance with, again, my understanding of AO3 tagging guidelines, Ink is known most commonly as Ink, despite explicitely being a derivative of Sans. We also know from his reference sheet that Ink is originally from an AU known only as "_____tale" (i counted 5 underscores, but if anyone else knows the more accurate number I would love to hear it). So, I have started tagging ink as "Ink | _____tale Sans (Undertale)" because he IS explicitly a Sans with his own, albiet unfinished, AU. Right now, AO3 has Inktale Sans and Inktale AU tags, but neither of those identify the homeless worldhopper originally conceived by his creator, so would be inaccurate tags in many cases.

Another anomaly is Fresh. For a number of reasons. Firstly, he isn't a detivative of any undertale character, instead contributing to the mythos indirectly by using sans as a host. Fresh is a parasite, so he should be tagged, and i have taken to tagging him as, "Fresh | Parasite (Undertale)".

Next I wanna talk about Killer. Killer is from a comic series which, from my understanding, is collectively known as "Something New". So, thats the AU Killer is from. By that logic, his proper tag should be "Killer | Something New Sans (Undertale)" to identify him as a Sans from his AU. Right? Unless his creator gave his AU a different name...

Next on my list is Cross. Cross also clearly has an AU, which conveniently also has a clear, distinct name (Xtale). But Cross isn't talked about as Xtale Sans (even though thats what he IS), he's just called Cross, even in his canon. So he would be tagged as "Cross | Xtale Sans (Undertale)"

Then we come to Dreamtale. Now... Dreamtale is its own, very, very far removed, AU -- the "Alternate Universe - Dreamtale (Undertale)" tag is accurate. I am conflicted since, on the one hand, both Dream and Nightmare are Sans, but on the other hand, they are not sans. So, is it more correct to say "Dream | Dreamtale Sans (Undertale)" or "Dreamtale Dream (Undertale)" ? Or are they synonymous?

For the record, I separately tag my AU by tagging as "Alternate Universe - Dr33mtal3 (Undertale)" and "Dream | Dr33mtal3 Sans (Undertale)" and "Nightmare | Dr33mtal3 Sans (Undertale)"

These tadding distinctions are incredibly important to understand and solidify NOW, because the minor details change how everything is alphabetized in Ship Tags.

I looked at the AO3 tag wrangling guide as best I could and compared existing tag patterns to figure this much out...

Canon Characters First

better known name

Surname (or in this case AU)

Forename (or in this case canon equivalent)

So lets look at some examples:

I have already gone and tagged all my Rust fics as "Underfell Sans/Underlust Sans (Undertale)".

I also tagged my Burlesque fics as "Dancetale Sans/Underfell Sans/Underlust Sans (Undertale)".

SpicyHoney is "Underfell Papyrus/Underswap Papyrus (Undertale)"

Kustard is "Sans/Underfell Sans (Undertale)"

SpicyKustard is "Sans/Underfell Papyrus/Underfell Sans (Undertale)"

...but add Slinky in and its "Sans/Lamiatale Sans/Underfell Papyrus/Underfell Sans (Undertale)"

If I tag Suave/Razz its "Dancetale Papyrus/Swapfell Sans (Undertale)"

but if for some reason I decide Dance and Slim have to kiss I would tag "Dancetale Sans/Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale)"

I struggled, however, tagging my HoneyCider crackship. I ultimately went with "Nightmare | Dr33mtal3 Sans/Underswap Papyrus (Undertale)"

But take KillerCreamMare. Here is where I have trouble...

Logic says that, assuming its classic dreamtale, its written as either:

Dreamtale Dream/Dreamtale Nightmare/Cross | Xtale Sans/Killer | Something New Sans (Undertale)

Dream | Dreamtale Sans/Cross | Xtale Sans/Killer | Something New Sans/Nightmare | Dreamtale Sans (Undertale)

Cross/Dream/Killer/Nightmare (Undertale)

Of course, these all present their own problems... The last of them doesn't distinguish Dream or Nightmare from each possible AU or combination of AUs, for starters. The others are quite the mouthfuls.

The first two could be synonymous but the third is ambiguous...

Edit: I also think we should normalize Platonic Relationship tags too! Like, I tagged "Underlust Papyrus & Underlust Sans (Undertale)" because that brotherly relationship in particular was a major focal point! And tags like that would make finding those friendship and family feelings easier!

TL;DR: This is all very very interesting... What do you think?

[ryttu3k]

thanky ou so so much for answering my ask! that makes actually sense. I really thought that Julain didn't give two flying crackers about you, but maybe he did; he just doesn't express it in a normal way. Although I still have somewhat my doubts. But at the end, you don't end up like Z, so that means something. And I sometimes wonder what Z's backstory is, too. It's also strange that Julian didn't seize the opportunity to groom Z as his new apprentice of sorts and not making the same "mistakes"

he made with you. I also realised that the player is technially Julian's only true ally/friend/focal point. He killed Jasper, an ally of his, he planned and sent the entire SI to Tuscon in order to take Lettow down and destabilize the Camarilla's hold there, even after he and Lettow somewhat became... luke warm friends in the end? But then again, he constantly risks the player's life, too, so there's that. And you know what the funniest thing is? Julian is a hypocrite through and through. From what I understood is that Julian looked up to Jasper in a sense. After all, they worked together and he does somewhat speak fondly of him in a way (just a tadbit though). He claims that he was so disgusted with Jasper's experiments that he had to kill him in the end, and he does seem sincere in that, but Julian does literally the same thing. He experiments on us, on other vamps like Z, and is even cool to work with Invidia Caul, who is also despised by other Kindred for her experiments. Is this cognitive dissonance or is he just lying through his teeth after all?

Oh, I forgot to mention that Julian seeking Invida's help is also weird because he knows that 1) Jasper financed he work (which shows that Invidia and Jasper have the same "moral" compass even for Kindred) and 2) she and Jasper were friends I believe. And I have no doubts that Julian knows this. Quite frankly, I believe he was disgusted by him in a sense, but at the end, he might not have liked competition or regarded him as possible future opposition and wanted to get rid of him quickly.

Yeah, it’s a complicated situation! Julian is definitely not a straightforward character - the read I get on him is that he’s trying too much, juggling too many balls, and thinks he’s better at it than he actually is. He also has a vested interest in being... well, better than others. No one is asking about 2100 and beyond, but he is. No one is as smart as he is. No one knows as much of what’s going on as he does. No one can play games with the SI like he does. Goddammit now I have Gaston stuck in my head. Here’s a bit from the Scheffler chapter:

You pull into the storage facility and do what you're told. The new phone is another disposable burner. Julian, you realize, isn't hiding from the Second Inquisition. He's using what they think they know to move them around the board, in a game you don't fully understand.

So his work with Jasper, that’s an interesting one because consider what Jasper is doing. He’s trying to push the limits of the vampire mind. He’s able to bring Lampago up to a point where she’s much more intelligent and aware, less bestial. He’s not able to succeed with Modian, but he was trying something similar there - break him down to the status of wight, then try to restore him.

Now, consider Julian’s aims with the 2100 formula. It’s meant to push the limits of the vampire mind and body. He and Jasper are actually extremely similar in what they’re working on, and I do wonder if this gave Julian a bit of disquiet when he realises how messed up the experimentation with Modian was.

Julian is a Banu Haqim. When he explains to the Courier why he killed Jasper, he addresses this directly:

Julian leans against his Fisker, then says, "You should know the truth. I killed that Usurper."

"For his crimes?" The Tremere are given relatively free reign, but torturing Nosferatu until they turn into wights is definitely outside whatever laws bind them to the Camarilla.

"Well, you and I have a complicated relationship to 'crimes,' don't we, Pyre? But yes, I suppose so. I may not be much of a vampire, but I'm still a Child of Haqim, and our work is to judge the unrighteous."

There's that wild gleam in Julian's eyes again. Some nights it seems like Julian Sim couldn't be a worse representative of his religion, or of the larger cultural complex that surrounds and sustains Clan Banu Haqim. And some nights your sire looks like the Angel of Death.

So he’s still very much from the Clan of Judges. Let’s say he’s starting to feel guilty - he’s a Judge, and here he’s judging himself. By taking out that guilt on Jasper, he can tell himself, “Well, what I’m doing isn’t so bad after all. And see, I’m still judging the unrighteous - I killed Jasper for his crimes. If I can feel compelled to stop Jasper, then surely what I’m doing can’t be that bad?”

I think you’re right in calling it cognitive dissonance. He can’t feel bad about what he’s doing, it’s for the future, and look! He punished Jasper, right? His moral compass is still correct, right? Sure, he experimented on the Courier and on Z, but at least they’re not wights, right?

If he judges Jasper, he clears his own conscience.

(As for Invidia, I actually don’t think her experiments were nearly as bad. She was working on making clones and experimenting on sheep to find a stable, reproduceable, ethical source of blood. The clones were only of questionable intelligence in the first place (they don’t seem to... react to much, seem pretty mindless) and, well, I personally don’t like animal experimentation but then I am vegan, so XD;; She was kind of a horrible person, mostly in her violence in lashing out against others and in blood binding Giselle, but the experiments itself were definitely a lesser evil than ‘torturing people until they turn into wights’.)

[seeminglyseph]

little bit of a redraw/redesign thing. I wanna shade it but also I spent multiple hours zoned out drawing her hair. I like feel super cringe showing the original but like it’s clear I used no reference, was more interested in silhouette than pose dynamics (I’m even being generous and cropping it, my ability to know what’s important to a picture is non existent) and also learned exactly how bad it looks to shade with grey. I did not use a reference and did not have the time or discipline to do the details I’m managing now...

I have this group of OCs I keep meaning to write... something about. I’ve been playing around with designs for a while (and not been very great at it, honestly looking at the old designs. They’re either really really bland or my concept of design and anatomy... can we just say I’m improving? That was meant to be lipstick but it was a bad choice and I definitely see it. I’ve also experimented with makeup in drawings. I don’t know how to mix it with the cel shading. I tend to make solid blocks of eye shadow, but it doesn’t work good for the really blush heavy looks. I’m trying to give her that like e girl style heavy blush and highlighter. My idea is that she’s like an anime and games youtuber/streamer? Her name is Tamara and she has two love interests and originally it was a werewolves are a found family story but idk if I have anything remotely werewolfy for them to do. also I don’t wanna draw wolves. I was gonna say ‘I just want werewolf dynamics without having to draw wolves’ but that’s just abo fic. which I am not above, I do love some mate bonding and like packs. it’s about a bunch of queer kids coming together and like doing stuff. when I was designing them I was super into Wet Moon by Sophie Campbell? So I was like thinking of just some just like intense character based journeys. Really original, “hello I would like to write queer found family personal drama?” groundbreaking. I wanna though...

Tamara’s kind of a sheltered baby of her family, she’s trans and her parents got a little hover-parent over it. She started her transition in her childhood so she was on puberty blockers and the whole thing, she was kind of a shut in because she’s shy and a nerd and didn’t get out much until she went to art school and the story starts. So she’s a shy lover of anime and cute things and she wants to be a manga artist and art school is going to be very hard because like why write a story about a thoroughly uneventful time? like I said I have no idea where the werewolf shit would fit in. I gotta admit this started focused entirely on the other main character Jon who has been through many incarnations but when they started being werewolves was like an uwu omega special werewolf mage.. so like there’s a confused disconnect between what was clearly self indulgent spank bait and what was supposed to be a lot of character drama.

which I suppose isn’t to say intense character drama can’t be spank bait but I think probably not with abo dynamics lol. though it would be interesting to play it straight and see if I’m a good enough writer to pull it off (I’m not) I do hears that there’s a market for it in the world of self publishing lol I just wanna write like batshit insane drama like a soap opera. I think part of me still misses the high of being into Teen Wolf, I just want extreme relationship drama and love triangles and found family and one night stands and shit combined with like monster of the week supernatural garbage. “Hi we’re a bunch of queer college age werewolves we solve ghost crimes” I want that. if teen wolf could get away with some prosthetics and eye effects, I can too. please don’t still be reading this I put it under the cut because I knew I was going to end up talking too much. I have to either say nothing about a drawing or explain my whole thought process, there is no in between.

Cutesy e-girl weeb goes to art school and maybe does supernatural adventures but definitely ends up the focal point in a love teetertotter between her best friend since childhood who went to college one year earlier and got like suuuuper attractive and it’s a little weird but she honestly couldn’t love anyone more, and the hot nonbinary fellow art student with like... depths. I know it doesn’t sound like it should be much of a fight but like just because a relationship is new it doesn’t make it less good. and theoretically the hot nonbinary artist is very hot so don’t give up on him yet. Though childhood friend is also theoretically hot. Everyone is theoretically hot because I wanna make them hot.

[agirlunderarock]

How I accidentally wrote 20 page paper on Boromir for one of my Final Ever University Papers PART 3

 Okay folks so I think we’re a little more than halfway through? I think??? I don’t freaking know this is the exact same feeling I had while writing the paper-

Will I ever come to an end? 

We just don’t know

If you missed Part 1 and Part 2  just click the text and it’ll take you to the link

So where did we leave off last time?

I told you exactly how academics where taking a crap on the goodest boi and so this time I’m going to explain why Faramir is the better character foil. Because instead of using Boromir as foil for say Aragorn or Sam, I say they should be using Faramir. I think specifically I left you guys with this lovely little picture I made myself of their character arcs:

If you can’t read it, I’m sorry its pixilated, thats just how the program gets when you try to make an image that compact to fit on a large presentation poster with an already large image. But anyway the important thing in this image isn’t whether or not you can read the damn thing, no, its that Boromir and Faramir’s character arcs are nearly exactly the same.Boromir and Faramir face political, and familial pressures, and faced with the question of what to do about Frodo and the ring. Both brothers are introduced in places that are supposedly out of their element. Boromir is seemingly described as more prepared for battle and fighting, yet we meet him in a council meeting of all things, and Faramir who is supposed to be #intellectual we meet after he and his men have just conducted a raid on an enemy patrol. They’re later both faced with questions of doubt and what they feel they need to do to protect their people. Denethor asks a lot of them and it takes a toll in some way shape and form. but the main points of their character arc ultimately come down to the conflict of family, country, and the fellowship.

like okay I’m not gonna lie, I really just want to put this picture in here and I have a funny story about how this picture made it in the research project but basically even the movie backs up that Boromir’s real foil is Faramir.

shit what was I saying?

Oh yeah

so basically in this flashback from the two towers we get a good side by side comparison between the brothers. Clearly they look alike, but look at how they’re dressed. Boromir’s in full armor my dudes, sword looks like its partially out of the scabbard- but really the main thing you need to focus on is the costuming in this shot, because the costuming here is, of course a reflection of their roles as military leaders, but also a major reflection of their personalities and really how their character arcs play out as a whole. Boromir is usually on the defensive (note I say defensive not ready to throw down) not just in battle because Mordor is like constantly like “Knock Knock can we come in?” but when he gets the Rivendell too, he’s being defensive because it almost sounds like these people half way across the world are going to forsake his home and the people he loves. So yes, I’d say my boi gets to be a little abrasive and wear emotional armor. He’s got a lot of feelings and he doesn’t get to talk about them because either 1. he’s with his troops or 2 he’s surrounded by people he doesn’t know that well i.e. the fellowship early in the story.

Faramir on the other hand is wearing some pretty light armor. He’s more open than Boromir, and if I remember correctly its said in the book that Faramir had taken to talking with Gandalf often when he was young and stuff- I don’t remember tbh I’m at that point where I haven’t read a book in a year cause I’m so damn tired, and I get canon and fanon mashed up sometimes. But what I’m trying to get at is, Faramir lets himself be open to more ideas, to more people, he’s more trusting of people’s intentions probably that numorian thing that he and Denethor have tbh. So basically what I’m trying to say is the main difference between the two brothers is how they deal with fear and anxiety.

Again Boromir tries to hide and swallow his fear and anxiety- he has to as a military leader shit happens. Faramir, looks for as many plans as he can to relieve some of his fear and anxiety- he’s also a leader shit happens.

So remember back when I said that Aristotle said some bullshit about how betraying your father is like the shittiest thing a person could ever do ever? Or when I said the heroism through obedience is absolute bullshit? If not too bad that was your reminder, though I genuinely don’t remember if I talked about the latter.

Denethor becomes the focal point of how these characters are compared. I say this because there is never a moment in the books were we actually have a conversation with all three of them present, but we know that he makes the same demand of both of his sons, that being find out what Isildure’s Bane is and then find a way to protect Gondor by any means. Not necessarily a bad request, its just HEAVY and the way its delivered in Return of the King is heavy and hurtful. I sir I know your mad stressed but also

YOUR SONS ARE MAD STRESSED SO CAN YOU PLEASE NOT HAVE CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS:

“‘Your bearing is lowly in my presence, yet it is too long now since you turned from your own way at my counsel. See, you have spoken skillfully, as ever; but I, have I not seen your eye fixed on Mithrandir seeking whether you said well or too much? He has long had your heart in his keeping.

‘My son, your father is old but not yet dotard […]

‘If what I have done displease you, my father,’ said Faramir quietly, ‘I wish I had known your counsel before the burden of so weight a judgement was thrust on me.’

‘Would that have availed to change your judgement?’ said Denethor. ‘You would still have done just so, I deem. I know you well. […]But in desperate hours gentleness may be repaid with death.’

‘So be it,’ said Faramir.

‘So be it!’ cried Denethor. ‘But not with your death only, Lord Faramir: with the death also of your father, and all your people, whom it is your part to protect now that Boromir is gone.’

‘Do you with then,’ said Faramir, ‘that our places had been exchanged?’

‘Yes, I wish that indeed,’ said Denethor. “For Boromir was loyal to me and no wizard’s pupil.” (Return of the King 794-795).

Like thats a big load for two dudes to carry man

Like I get it but thats heavy and I cri for both my bois having to deal with this war their whole life

 But you see what I’m getting at here. Theres a lot of expectations for these boys, and really they just need hugs, and I need a hug rewriting this part into non academic language because it makes me BIG SAD

But whats interesting about the expectation that his sons only be loyal to him, is that in attempting to obey their father, THEY GET FUCKING WRECKED. Boromir ends up scaring Frodo to the point the Fellowship breaks up, and Faramir ends up like almost dying and gets his men wrecked. Now I’m not saying Aristotle is full of bullshit, but he’s full of shit, and I’m gonna learn you why.

So before I say which critic actually puts everyone else to shame by praising two hobbit bois, let me make this clear: Boromir does not die trying to obey his father, he dies actively disobeying him. Instead of trying to find Frodo and still get the ring like Denethor would have wanted, Boromir goes dies defending Merry and Pippin. HE COULD HAVE LEFT THEM IN FAVOR OF GOING AFTER THE RING BUT HE’S A GOOD MAN WHO WANTED HIS HOBBIT CHILDREN WHO ARE TECHNICALLY JUST AS OLD AS HIM TO GET AWAY AND BE SAFE AND HE DIED. Faramir on the other hand nearly dies while trying to carry out his father’s orders and thats tragic but again- shit happens.

According to no braincells Aristotle, one of these is right, even with the tragic outcome and one is wrong and deserved to die.

WRONG

In Ian Romuald Lakowski’s, "Types of Heroism in The Lord of the Rings," he acknowledges that through Merry and Pippin there is heroism in DISOBEDIENCE. For Boromir and Faramir this means obedience or disobedience is not a simple right or wrong choice, and in both of them being disobedient to their father is a more sure sign of their heroism.

I mean think about it, the very action every critic characterizes Boromir for is based off of his obedience to his father. He’s villainized for trying to take the ring from Frodo, when the reality is, the man was struggling with trying to figure out what the right course of action was. ITS THE SAME REASON FARAMIR TAKES SO DAMN LONG TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH FRODO AND SAM. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

So what ends up happening? Faramir is praised a good guy for disobeying, and really in the end the real Boromir comes back when he disobeys Denethor too.

But we’ll come back to some of that in a bit,

Because STRESS is not enough to bind these two as better foils than other comparison that can be made. Because again, critics like to praise Faramir and elevate him and I’m not about to put them against each other.

Like despite their differences Boromir and Faramir’s relationship with one another isn’t characterized by fear or power or even that #stress but genuine love for one another. And this is important, because though no critics ever sighted a page for their reading of Boromir as a greedy little shit, I believe their interpretation comes from second hand accounts of his character. Instead of actually looking at what he says and does to be his true self.  They characterize Boromir by his single action of trying to take the ring from Frodo instead of looking at him as a whole.

Boromir’s relationship with his brother is incredibly important because given the circumstances and everything that they’ve been through and even though they have very different thought processes, they should have a rocky relationship, but  they don’t. They have a very good relationship.The appendices give a nice description of the things we never got to see happen in the book

“…there was great love, and had been since childhood, when Boromir was the helper and protector of Faramir. No jealousy or rivalry had arisen between them since, for their father’s favour or for the praise of men. It did not seem possible to Faramir that any one in Gondor could rival Boromir, her of Denethor, Captain of the White Tower; and of like mind was Boromir” (1032).

Actually

I take it back

Never say never get to see because in the council of Elrond, Boromir literally shows us his relationship with his brother and what kind of person he is. 

“ Therefore my brother, seeing how desperate was our need, was eager to heed the dream and seek for Imadris; but since the way was fully of doubts and danger, I took the journey upon myself,” showing that he willingly put himself in danger to protect his little brother (The Fellowship of the Ring 239).

The reason I bring this up is because I don’t think critics look at what Boromir actually says and does through out the book. I literally don’t understand where or how they would even perceive this as an ulterior motive or that he does anything with ill intent. AT THIS POINT THERE IS NOTHING THAT SUGGEST HE MIGHT BE. BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERY ACTION BOROMIR TAKES IS TO PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE

 Like maybe they take the first description of Boromir to be negative:

“a tall man fair and noble face, dark-haired and grey-eyed, proud and stern of glance,”

But none of these are inherently negative. Proud and stern aren’t negative words. Proud doesn’t become negative until you pair it with the action of taking the ring from Frodo and THATS ASSUMING that he’s taking it for himself to use and that he himself wants power.

BUT HE DOESN’T- and we’ll get to why later

OR maybe they’re trying to take what Faramir has to say about his brother to the extreme end: 

“‘And this I remember of Boromir as a boy, when we together learned the tale of our sires and the history of our city, that always it displeased him that his father was not king. “How many hundreds of years needs it to make a steward a king, if the king returns not?” he asked. […] Alas poor Boromir. Does that tell you something of him?’

‘It does,’ said Frodo. ‘Yet always he treated Aragorn with honour.’

‘I doubt it not,’ said Faramir. ‘If he were satisfied of Aragron’s claim, as you say, he would greatly reverence him. But the pinch had not yet come. They had not yet reached Minas Tirith or become rivals in her wars” (The Two Towers 655 ).

Which I’m gonna be honest is fair assessment.  But like Boromir’s asking these questions 1. as a kid, and as I myself was a child who hated incompetency, ITS CONFUSING AND FRUSTRATING TO BE DOING ALL THE WORK AND NOT GET THE CREDIT? (RIGHT NOW I’M LOOKING AT PEOPLE WHO REPOST FAN ART WITHOUT THE CREDIT- I WILL FIND YOU AND SMITE YOU)

but anyway, yeah you know what that question about kingship tells me- HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE THE FUCKING KING IS???? Like thats not inherently a greed thing- Only if you’re looking at it from like a religious standpoint and blah blah blah Catholic teachings about- but again

Then good boy Frodo looking out for him, I’m gonna cry, points out the obvious- that Boromir respected Aragorn, and Faramir has the nerve to say- yeah but wait until the group project falls apart- then see what happens

and let me just say

Faramir

sir

my boi

YOU CLEARLY HAVE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A GOOD TEAM FOR YOUR GROUP PROJECT BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU. IF ARAGORN WENT IN THERE AND THINGS STARTED GOING WRONG AND PEOPLE STARTED DYING OF COURSE BOROMIR WAS GOING TO BE PISSED- LIKE THEY WAITED HOW LONG FOR WHAT????

It’d be like if someone you didin’t know came over to your house told you not to make dinner in your own house, that they knew their way around the kitchen- WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW YOUR’RE ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, proceed to start a fire while trying to fry up some chicken, and then saying they’ve got it under control, but the fire dept can’t put out your oven. I mean thats worst case scenario.

I’m sorry but just the thought of someone I know/am related to coming into my room and touches my goddamn light switch gives me anxiety- BOROMIR HAD TO TRUST THIS STRANGER WITH HIS COUNTRY 

But like the movie tries to get you to agree with the line of thinking, that Boromir is about himself and doing it to glorify himself. take THIS SCENE

You know the one, that shot in Rivendell and Boromir is exploring on his own and casually picks up the sword, you know THE SWORD and kinda low key plays with it for a hot minute- you know, the way you walk by the nerf swords at a walmart and you pick one up to wack your bro with it, but then you remember you’re 23 and he’s 18 and taller than you now so he’ll beat the shit out of you if you start shit. But anyways, Boromir picks up the sword and cuts his finger, is amazed that its still sharp, and then puts it back only to have it teeter off and he walks away quickly like nothing happened. If you’re a small brain critic you’ll see this scene and say “Ah yes, in picking up Narsil Boromir displays a desire for power for himself, and in cutting his finger it shows that this desire is his ultimate demise. He might think he’s ready for power and deserves more, but by walking away he shows that he’s actually irresponsible guffaw” I demand you go back and read that in your guadiest accent. But hear me out. Remember that nerf sword you picked up in the toy aisle, instead of being the grimlin you know you are deep in your soul, you take a few practice swings for your audition fantasy and put it back and start walking away just to realize that the walmart employee had been watching you the whole time and the whole bin of plastic and foam swords comes tumbling down bring with it a Hot Wheels track and collectible cars, and you just look at the employee, and they just look at you, and then you brain just short circuits  and so you keep walking down the aisle away and laugh cry across the store because you don’t know what the fuck just happened. And thtas the energy that scene gives to me.

But I’m getting away from it all because the real arguement against the way this scene is framed is one question he poses right before he attacks Frodo:

“What could not Aragorn do?”  ( The Fellowship of the Ring 389). 

He makes a big speech here about Frodo giving up the ring, but he doesn’t talk about him using it himself, instead he wonders, What would Aragorn be capable of?

Does that sound like a question someone crazed with a drive for power would ask?

I don’t think so

Why even mention Aragorn if he wanted it for himself right?

We’re dissect the fuck out it in the next part don’t you worry.

I think I’m almost done

[gascon-en-exil]

So this thought just occurred to me but do you think Dedue being default "dead" in AM is supposed to be Symbolic in the sense that the AM arc sees the return of Gustava's Prince Dimitri? Like without the tragedy of Duscar, Dedue and Dimitri would never meet or become friends. But Dedue's Dimitri was suicidal, expecting to die young trying to get vengeance for the dead. Hoping that in the course of his revenge, he could clear the people of Duscar. So Dedue had to "die" to free Dimitri...

Dedue being dead by default in AM is to accommodate Dimileth (and to a lesser extent Dedueleth). I know this because CF exists, wherein Dedue does not sacrifice himself for Dimitri during the timeskip and the two have a well-adjusted intimate relationship that only ends in tragedy because Edelgard smashes the Kingdom into dust.

Dedue’s sacrifice may be the catalyst for Dimitri’s full psychotic break in the other routes, but it’s not the focal point of his grief and lust for vengeance. That would be his father as well as his stepmother until he learns of her role in the Tragedy, which makes sense as we learn in Part 1 that it was the Tragedy that set Dimitri on the path to seeking revenge originally. Dedue’s potential death and later Rodrigue’s only add to that and trigger different stages of grief, with Rodrigue’s being the one that brings Dimitri back to himself. Not all of Dimitri’s arc is handled organically particularly where Dedue is concerned; their reunion is an emotional one but isn’t followed up on outside that scene since Dimitri is still “feral” for one more chapter, and Dimitri can’t fixate on Dedue’s death after that point because, well, he may have survived. However, there’s still a solid arc for the two of them underneath the self-insert romance mandate, thanks in large part to how their relationship is firmly established years before the game even begins.

Also, even though they share a desire for revenge we know that it’s not the core of their relationship. There’s the exploration dialogue from Dedue the chapter after Dimitri’s turnaround, where he explains that Dimitri is still fundamentally the same person he’s always been: too kind and sensitive to the pain of others, which is why Dedue admires him. The implication is that the revenge is only a manifestation of that sensitivity - a self-destructive one to be sure, but one that Dedue understands on a personal level based on his dialogue the chapter before the timeskip. Even with the extreme trauma bonding it’s not what defines them, and it’s interesting to see how that plays out in their interactions when Byleth’s not being shoved between them.

[hopelesstvaddict]

The Last of Jon and Sansa

[No review for the series finale - I don't know if I want to write one - but suffice it to say I may be in the minority that was satisfied. For now I'm back to writing on interesting aspects I take out of the episode. This should be short. Shorter than my combined review of Episodes 3 and 5. I hope]

A lot has been said about the series finale. Most critics and most viewers have been left disappointed which was predictable. Jon as a character in particular was a big contentious point. The episode seemed to cement this idea that he really was a lovestruck fool in the end. That, all this time he really loved Daenerys. And yet the behaviour viewers have seen is at least as erratic as Dany's changes of mood. The previous episode seemed to point at the last of their relationship as news of his birthright spread and he couldn't return her affections, which was part of what set her on her path to her barbecue fiesta in King's Landing. So naturally what everyone expected was the final Dance of Dragons i.e. the final clash between the last two Targaryens. A bit late in the endgame but due nonetheless. The first part of the episode even seems to point in the right direction as Jon wearily witnesses Dany's speech to her armies and guesses nothing good is going to come out of it, especially when he hears her utter the name of Winterfell. He's again agitated when she sentences Tyrion, upset at the carnage, the useless slaughtering of prisoners and worried as she looks past him - with a look that carries nothing of love there, as the distorted version of Truth plays - and enters the ruins of the Red Keep. So in that first part of the finale, both Jon and Dany still seem to be consistent character-wise.

And then suddenly they don't. Jon visits Tyrion who has the greatest difficulties to swerve Jon into doing the right thing when the Jon viewers know would not hesitate and would absolutely know what to do. One could argue that the resurrected Jon is less certain, more doubtful of everything that's not White Walkers- related but come on. Is it love ? Fear ? We don't even know what it is that restrains him. He certainly doesn't seem to know either. And Dany is no better. The next time she sees Jon, she's all of a sudden all over him again. Bad writing ? Or maybe she feels so elated over her victory that she feels in a good mood ? Enough to forgive his betrayal ? He did betray her, per her own words. And she was angry with him. And as Arya pointed out, she knows her claim will be threatened as long as he lives. Well she seems to forgive him. But not the others. She goes on about wanting them to rule side by side and for a split second I thought ‘oh she's gonna off him’. That's the big twist. He's not killing her, she'll make an attempt. Except no she really was in love all over again. Consistency ? Think again.

How does Jon respond ? With his favorite sentence. ‘You are my queen’. Duty duty duty. But no ‘I love you’. Thank the Gods. Because that at least leaves room for interpretation and is a remnant of consistency carrying over from Jon's behaviour from Seasons 7 and 8. For those who cling onto the lovestruck fool theory, it works. The general audience stopped there. And for those who wish to find a way to tie all of this, it leaves just enough to try and understand Jon. As everyone pointed out, blocking his point of view was a huge mistake. Strangely the show tries to satisfy everyone but ends up frustrating everybody instead by relying too much on the fans' ability to figure everything out themselves and expecting them to find the truth. Sometimes just spelling it loud and clear works better. Anyway Jon protects himself by appealing to Dany's sense of entitlement. And proceeds to do the deed. His reaction to it and how he fares for the rest of the episode is thankfully consistent with who he is as character. Kit Harington really played it well. Once again, it works whether or not he really was in love with her. If he really loved Dany, the tears and the angst and the guilt all work themselves out on their own. If he didn't, it still works in terms of the man he is and what he has done - a man of honor who has committed the highest treason, a protector of the innocents (this plays into his final fate as he returns with the people he spent so many seasons trying to protect) who has murdered an unarmed woman (to save thousands of innocents but still...) Too bad Jaime isn't around anymore to give him a prep talk.

But what's interesting there - and I finally get to the main point of this - is the presence of Sansa despite her physical absence. If there are so many downsides to this way of making fans analyze and guess instead of simply telling it the way it is, it is still amusing and interesting to try decoding and admiring it when it's properly done. Per their own admission, Sansa is one of the producers' favorite characters and they have done her mostly right - certainly not perfectly, not even admirably, but she fares much better than the rest of the cast. The relationship between Jon and Sansa has been one of the most important on the show, ever since they reunited back in Season 6, retook their ancestral home as a team and ruled it as a team. The dynamics established between them has been an important part of Seasons 6 and 7 as it was shown that they were often at odds with each other as essentially two strangers rediscovering themselves but that the partnership could potentially lead to greatness if allowed the time to develop. Unfortunately it didn't achieve its potential. So much foreshadowing, so many Ned/Catelyn parallels... All wasted away. Or was it really ? Game of Thrones has always been about the be-careful-what-you-wish-for trope. And not fulfilling the potential of Jon and Sansa as a ruling team also works with the bittersweet ending which basically denies everybody their wishes. At best, the characters end up with satisfying situations but not perfect ones. Perhaps it was best to leave Jon and Sansa in this state rather than explicitly declare them in the end. We all saw what happened with explicit relationships. Sure it's frustrating but Jon and Sansa were always about the subtlety of subtext, analysis and interpretation. In that regard, if indeed the producers were trying to set up the pair during Seasons 6 and 7, then Season 8 did not destroy them - which is more than can be said for the show's flagship pairing - but it didn't exactly prepare the ground the way the two previous seasons did. Subtlety was still the keyword but it largely took a step back compared to the rest. Blame it on the shortened amount of episodes.

It was established clearly that Sansa plays an important part in Jon's life. Season 8 reminds viewers of this in the season premiere. Unfortunately, it does not seem to explicitly go anywhere. Except, once again, we are supposed to look deeper than what we see on screen. Astute fans have deduced that Jon's dismissive behaviour towards Sansa was really his own way of protecting her against Daenerys. That again is brought up in the series finale where both Arya and Tyrion mention Sansa as a potential dissident to her reign - the notion of how Jon will deal with protecting his sister from her. Dany has low-key threatened Sansa several times and certainly does not view her favorably - she blames her for Jon's treason, for Varys and she does not like her relationship with Tyrion, she knows Sansa wants the North to secede from the rest of the Kingdoms and she knows how much the North respects her. All of this points to Dany targeting Sansa next had she had the opportunity. This was a running theory throughout the entire season and even the potential snapping point for Jon, were he to choose between his family and Dany. None of it happens but the eventuality of it is adressed in the episode. Daenerys mentions Winterfell in her opening speech and tell me that your minds did not automatically switch to Sansa. Not Bran, not Arya. Sansa. Because Sansa is now representative of Winterfell and the North more than any other person still alive at this point. Even absent from the entirety of Episode 5 and the aftermath in King's Landing, Sansa's specter looms over Jon - and Jon in particular. He definitely thinks of her when he hears the name of Winterfell. The show established their relationship such as she's now closely associated with him in a way neither she and Arya or Jon and Arya are. That's not to diminish Arya's bond with her brother and sister but Seasons 7 and 8 have established that she is a changed woman, whose relationship with her sister and brother may be still loving but there's a melancholy to Arya that pushes her towards other horizons, to seek her purpose beyond mere revenge.

‘Try telling Sansa’, Arya says. To which Jon says nothing because he knows Sansa will never bow. Not after something like this. He himself knows as well but he is trapped. He's hopeless for himself but the main focus is Sansa. Not even Bran or Arya who's standing there in front of him and who's certainly not about to bow either but no, once again Sansa is the focal point. Sansa really permeates the first part of the episode while being absent. Too bad the recently released script [good thing this thing waited in my drafts for so long] does not make it explicit but it is not hard to connect the dots. Next, Tyrion resorts to mentioning Jon's family as a last attempt to sway him. Both 'sisters' are mentioned first before Tyrion zeroes in on Sansa - perhaps because he knows her best - but still it works. This time Jon plays the obedient subservient version of himself and says she doesn't get to choose. The switching between seemingly Political!Jon and Dumb!Jon makes it hard to keep tabs. Then finally the big moment between Dany and Jon. And again, Sansa is present without ever being physically there. Jon adopts a similar pattern to Tyrion in his attempt to appease Dany. First the question of the rightness of the massacre in King's Landing, the forgiveness to prove that she is not only fire and blood and finally, family. Jon does not explicitly mention his siblings but really, the 'everyone else who think they know what's good' is for Sansa mainly. It also works for Arya, for Bran, for Sam, all potential opponents to Dany, but really it's all about Sansa, who is the last ruler in Westeros competent and loved enough to hold the power necessary to pretend to know what's good. Dany implicitly targets Winterfell - and Sansa. Arya mentions Sansa. Then Tyrion. Finally Jon implicitly asks Dany ‘And what of my sister ? What about Sansa ?’ Her response ? She doesn't get to choose. No matter how competent she is, no matter how loved and respected she is, no matter that she's the Lady of Winterfell, commandant of the largest Kingdom in Westeros, allied to many Great Houses, no matter the fact that she is Jon's own family. If she dares oppose, she doesn't get to choose. She'll bow or she'll die. And that's finally the turning point for Jon. He kills Dany to protect those who also think they know good. On this, the script at least acknowledges the people whom Jon ‘loves the most’; perhaps - and most likely - an unintentional contrast but a contrast nonetheless between Dany, the woman he loves and Sansa, Arya and Bran, the people he loves the most.

The rest of the episode sets Sansa as indeed the last competent ruler of Westeros and I thought for a moment that she would get the Seven Kingdoms. But she settles for the North, the only Kingdom she cares about. Sansa makes it clear that she still stands by Jon; the implications of her short statement about the thousand of Northmen ready to fight if Jon were to be hurt are huge. Upon hearing her brother’s imprisonment, Sansa commandeered the remaining armies of the North (still amounting to thousands of men) and marched south, ready to start another war to save her brother. The girl who’d suffered so much in that city returned to a place full of traumatic memories for her brother, the girl who’d prayed for someone to do exactly that, when places were switched and who didn’t get her wish, decided to do the work herself. Of course, these implications are really just that and are glossed over by the final script but they are legitimate, interesting deductions we can make on the character. This again plays into the subtlety and underlines how strong Jon and Sansa’s relationship is. The guy has threatened and killed for the woman, waged war at her behest; and the woman has worked every way to protect the man, and she’s ready to start yet another war if it means saving him. Her sister is fully on board with the plan by the way.

Then the constrictions of the story call for Jon to go back to the Wall, never mind that the Wall is in the North, now an independant Kingdom under the rule of a Stark, his own kin, or that the Wall is under the jurisdiction of the Starks. Never mind thus that Sansa could legally do whatever she wants with Jon. The coronation scene was beautiful however and it really felt satisfying to watch Sansa be crowned and reflect on her harrowing journey. Sometimes, it is hard to believe when you see the writing and what they put the poor girl through that she is one of D.B. Weiss and David Benioff’s favorites; but I believe that whatever fault there was, it was either demanded by the story, or it wasn’t done with the full intention of hurting just for the sake of hurting. It was merely the result of biased views and opinions. But every one is entitled to that. In the end, Sansa comes up on top, crowned Queen in the North, [a big middle finger to the haters], the sole master of her own agency, and she has earned the respect of everyone, no longer a pawn, no longer a simple player, but a full-on force to be reckoned with on the board. Her hair and costume notably are the final steps to becoming her own person while also not losing this habit she has of incorporating the influence of those around her into her clothes. As such, for the first time, she lets down her hair completely, free from any braid and thus free from trying to emulate Cersei, her mother, her aunt, Margaery... She is Sansa Stark, First of her Name, Queen in the North. By contrast, her coronation gown pays homage to those who loved her and shaped her - Jon, Arya, her parents and deceased brothers, Bran... - and you can especially notice that finally, Sansa reverts to the blue-ish colors of the North and ditches the black dresses. How disappointing then that for a House that liked to hammer on us that the pack survives, they are all separated and no one we know is by Sansa’s side when she is crowned. But while I was personally upset about it at first, I’ve come to view it as a logical evolution of the story. ‘The pack survives’ was Ned’s motto and he imparted it to his children, who have tried to follow it as best as was possible. But this is not Ned’s story anymore, it’s his children’s and now, they are ready to properly live. Now that they have defeated their enemies, now that their world is ready for peace, they can let go of these words if they wish to do so. Each of them has gone on their own formative journey that has enabled them to be able to stand on their own. They don’t need one another to survive. Because the time is not for surviving anymore. Now is the time to live.

But where the open ending works in our favour is that nothing prevents us to imagine Jon and Sansa seeing each other in the future and indeed, it’s hard to imagine they won’t. While Arya is sure to come back at some point, once again, she and Bran are the farthest away and we are back to a similar situation to Seasons 5 and 6 with Sansa in Winterfell and Jon at/not far from the Wall. They are geographically the closest and Sansa being Queen, can indeed do as it pleases her regarding Jon. Jon seems content to peace out and settle down with boyfriend Tormund - another ginger - and it makes narrative sense that he would go North, the ‘real North’ that he has in his blood in Tormund’s words, and that he would go with the Wildlings, the only people who accepted him exactly for who he was and won’t even bother about his parentage, or about what atrocities he did in the South. For them, he will always stay the crow who saved them, the Lord Commander who opened the Wall for them, the only man who ever united the Wildlings and the Northmen to stand and fight together. He can be himself with them. But should he sometime want to come back to Winterfell, you can bet your money that Sansa is not going to forbid it. Keep also in mind that when the series ends, these characters are just beginning their life; they are in their bare twenties. They have their whole life ahead of them. Sansa, who was so focused on love and motherhood when she was younger, has her life before her now to think about it with all the freedom she wants. Jon can rest, enjoy life, fall in love again if he wishes (Tormund, hem...)

[Yes that is a very disturbing thought when you think about it. Westeros was torn over while the big boys and big girls played - the Eddards, Roberts, Tywins, Cerseis of the world - and then they were gone and it was up to the surviving children to face off the end of the world. Arya killed the Night King and she is only 18. Bran is King of the Six Kingdoms at 17. Sansa and Jon, the eldest, are 20 and 23 and have waged war and endured much trauma. One of them was raped, the other killed and resurrected. Daenerys conquered the world and saw her short life end in her 23rd year.]

And finally, we get to the last goodbye. Here again, there is lot to observe, especially in light of the released script which differs from the final screen version. First off, Jon stops and inhales a sharp breath when he sees his family. Interesting. Personally, when Sansa apologized, I also thought it was for spilling Jon’s secret. Thus the script “confirms” this and Kit Harington seems to play by it as he seemingly looks conflicted and still a bit resentful. A callback to their first reunion with a repeat of the ‘there’s nothing to forgive’ would have been lovely - I immediately thought of it when I first saw the scene - but I understand Jon’s point of view. Daenerys’ unraveling stemmed in part from the repercussions of Jon’s parentage spreading out. Again, the finale tries to appeal to everyone. Jon/Dany lovers can read into this as Jon being angry he had to kill the woman he loved. Another interpretation is Sansa apologizing for Jon’s exile to the Wall. It also works because the scene comes shortly after Tyrion explaining how Arya and Sansa tried and failed to fight the final decision.

But what’s really interesting is the final goodbye. Jon doesn’t respond to the apology but Harington makes a slight - perhaps involontary - movement of the head which can be read as a nod. A comforting thought for those who wish Jon and Sansa to part on good terms. But then Harington graces us with just that and more. He instead tries to change the subject and finally, openly validates her as the best leader the North can hope for. Sansa spins this back to him and makes it clear she still considers Jon as the King in the North. The script does not dwell long on Sansa and Jon’s goodbyes, instead focusing on Arya, Jon’s favorite sibling. While explicitly stating that Jon knows Sansa loves him, it then just reads ‘Jon and Sansa embrace’. The final screen version gave us much more as we see Sansa embrace Jon, and Jon’s initial resistance to the hug crumble as he gives in and fiercely hugs her back, burying his head in her shoulder in the process. It’s very interesting that in every hug they share we get to see both Jon and Sansa's faces. It really allows us to see the full range of emotions on Sophie Turner and Harington’s faces. This particular part was not scripted and is either the choice of Harington or the choice of the directors, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss themselves. In any case, they kept it. Another interesting thing to note : the cue Winterfell that starts roughly as Jon and Sansa hug also played during their most emotional scene in the sixth season finale The Winds of Winter.

The writers of Game of Thrones have been the target of much scrutiny following the backlash of the final season and I’m not going to argue that the writing was sometimes sloppy. However, I will give credit where credit is due and for all its faults, the episode was not that bad. Benioff and Weiss were thrust in an impossible situation where they became the scapegoats of every single default singled out in this final season; but it could have been much worse and we need to remember that screenwriters and authors do not have to answer to fans. They write the story they want to tell, we’re just here for the ride. Whether we’re satisfied or not is ultimately not their main concern. Back to Jon and Sansa, Benioff and Weiss have in my opinion written the pair beautifully and kept them consistent to the end. If indeed they were subtly trying to create an item out of the two or to point them as a potential couple, they did it properly during the sixth and seventh seasons; come Season 8, it was about following G.R.R. Martin’s guidelines. Maybe in the end, it was really the tragedy of Jon and Dany. But still, Benioff and Weiss wrote Jon and Sansa well, exploiting the chemistry between Harington and Turner to give us all too rare but important scenes full of subtext. I’ve written about the season premiere Winterfell about how much could be read into Jon and Sansa’s interactions. I personally think that The Iron Throne is perhaps the second most-charged episode this season in terms of analysis regarding to Jon and Sansa. The subtlety of the relationship is kept until the end and we’re still left satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time. Jon and Sansa love each other as siblings ? Of course. This scene establishes it. Jon and Sansa maybe love each other as more than siblings ? Well... not explicit but the scene does nothing to deny it or the possibility of it in the future. Especially when Kit and Benioff and Weiss include yet another unscripted tidbit. After Jon has finished his goodbyes, the script just states that he steps on the boat as his family watches him go. In the final episode, we see a shoulder-shot of Jon looking back one last time, distraught. Who is he looking at ? Well of course, you guessed it. He’s looking at Sansa, whose right shoulder was framed into that shot. Then he looks in the direction of Arya and Bran and then, one last time, back to Sansa. And as if to confirm it, as we move on to the next shot of the Starks watching him go, who appears first ? Well of course, you guessed it. Sansa, who’s also looking very distraught.

And of course, the lingering look Jon glances even as Sansa is framed in the shot is a well-known storytelling device. The trope of people looking back to their loved ones, whether with an established love or one still in the making, is a very common trope that has been used several times in the show, and even once already for Jon and Sansa. So yes, I will still support Benioff and Weiss at least on this; they might have ruined Jon’s character in surface; they might have written the story better; perhaps they could have done even better by Sansa. But they have done her right and they did write Jon and Sansa well. I would not also exclude Martin still hiding some final aspects in the books or asking them not to explicitly show everything to keep some kind of secrecy on the last books despite the show being completed. He has said that the show would end like the books. That doesn’t necessarily mean that all will be shown; that is pretty much a given when you see all the substories and deviations from books to show. How much of a stretch is it then to suppose that Martin told Benioff and Weiss to subtly prepare Jon and Sansa - thus explaining and validating all the foreshadowing in the books and why they have said that their relationship was ‘crucial to watch’, all the ‘they skirt around the true tension between them’, ‘all is subtext’ and why the relationship was explored over three seasons - but in the end, told them to just commit to subtlety instead of a full-on reveal, so as to keep that secret amongst others for the books as part of the full story?

Whatever the truth here, Benioff and Weiss allowed those unscripted additions that help shape Jon and Sansa more than they were in the original script. What exactly prompted these changes, why and whether it was on Harington or the directors, we may never know. But Harington has already acknowledged the chemistry between Turner and himself and stated he’d like to partner with her on screen again. Add this to the list of unexplained acting choices he made during the past seasons. Puppy eyes, big sighs, long forehead kiss... Let’s take a trip back down memory lane. Oh and of course, they both failed geography.

[littlemisssquiggles]

Some people say seasons 4 and 5 were weakest in terms of stuff happening for Ruby and character progress for her, compared to the focus of several episodes on Blake. Like Ruby doesn’t get that too much. What would you say to refute that? I’m just curious I like seeing people’s stance on things gives me a new perspective at times.

Hello again Sweet. Seasons greetings to you and your family. Whelp as I toldyou before, I didn’t exactly see V4 and V5 as Ruby’s weakest seasons. On thecontrary, this squiggle meister hasthe opposite opinion in which I think that V6was Ruby’s weakest season (with the current V7 potentially becoming a closesecond) despite her enduring quite a bit of focus and development during that volume.

Although much didn’t happen for Ruby during V4 and V5, I personally didn’t mindit . While the title of RWBY says that the storycenters around the adventures of all four RWBY girls, I’ve always had the greater impression that Ruby was the mainheroine of the story.

This was evidenced by the fact thatshe was the first character to be introduced to us both in her originalcharacter trailer and the first episode of the series. Not to mention that for a good chunk of the Beacon Trilogy (V1-V3), you can say that much emphasis was based onRuby, often by her own peers which made her stand out compared to her oldermore experienced teammates.

Basically what I’m saying is thatfor half of RWBY’s narrative, Ruby had been a focal character. So when V4rolled up and we got an opportunity to focus on the JNR members for a change,particularly Ren and Nora, for me, I actually enjoyed it. I know some Ruby stansdidn’t like that Ruby’s time with JNR involved her receiving less focus as opposedto the rest of her team (who were the focal characters of their own plots whilethe team were divided during the first 2/3 of the Mistral Trilogy). But like Isaid, I didn’t mind it coming off the high of the Beacon Arc which, in myopinion, had a good amount of Ruby development to satisfy me long enough untilthe PLOT was ready to resume fleshing out what’s next to come for her story.

To me, my biggest gripe with V4 andV5 had less to do with that. As a matter of fact, I actually disagree withfolks on saying that Ruby did receive focus during those two seasons. What wasproblematic for me was what the PLOT—here go the CRWBY Writers at the time(Miles and Kerry) chose to focus on as part of Ruby’s story for the Mistral Trilogy.

During the Beacon Trilogy, Ruby’s arcwas her starting her journey to become a huntress and most of her story fromV1-V3 was about her training to live up to that aspiration of hers whilelearning to be a leader as part of a huntsmen team. It was an establishedaspect of Ruby’s story that remained pretty consistent until the conclusion ofthe Fall of Beacon.

However at the end of V3, the CRWBYWriters introduced this new element of intrigue to her character—her being aSilver Eyed Warrior. After the end of V3, I was hoping that the nextinstallment in Ruby’s development would’ve involved her unlocking the mysteriesof these mystical powers she alone seemed to possess, learning about its strangeorigins in connection to her mother and even Ozpin who seemed to be the onlyperson at the time who knew any info on the Silver Eyes, as revealed by QrowBranwen back during the finale of V3.

I thought Ruby learning aboutthe Silver Eyed Warriors and potentially starting her training to become a fullyrealized one was what the Writers’ had next in store for her story.

But rather than watching three seasonsof Ruby learning about the Silver Eyes, instead we spent two full seasons—V4and V5—feeling as if the PLOT had forgotten this new part of Ruby’s story asthey had her focusing on other things. 

At the time, I previously chocked upRuby’s lack of interest in learning more about her Silver Eyed heritage as her concentratingmore on the upcoming Battle of Haven and the acquirement of the Relic ofKnowledge since that was the main objective of the Mistral Arc at the time. Howeverthe more I thought about it, the more I started to think that it probably would’vebeen a better idea if the PLOT had spent more time providing the groundwork forthat side of Ruby’s story.

Even if it was as small as Ruby simply askingfor more information on who the Silver Eyed Warriors were, I would’vetaken that as opposed to having her not care about it at all for two seasons.Especially since it was tied to her relationship with her mother as well aswhat happens later in V6 after Maria Calavera’s debut. 

This also illustrates my biggestpeeve with the treatment of Maria. As much as I really, really like our veteran pocket abuelita,right now she feels like wasted potential.

The Writers had an opportunity tomake Maria a significant character in Ruby’s rise to Silver Eye status as theold lady is the first and only other Silver Eyed Warrior that Ruby has met inthe story thus far.

Instead, the PLOT practicallyrendered Maria’s character irrelevant bythe finale of V6 after rushing Ruby’squintessential ‘magnumopus’ moment with her Indomitablescene against the Leviathan Grimm.

They still had a chance to redeemthemselves by progressing Ruby’s relationship with Maria for this season. Butfor the second time since V4 and V5, the CRWBY Writers have once againabandoned focusing on building up Ruby as a Silver Eye in favour of forcing development onto another side of her character.

What do I mean by that, you might ask?

Back in V5, it was said that Ruby’s so-called‘problem’ was that she needed to learn hand to hand combat…in spite of her alleged ineptitude forhand to hand never being a key liability to her fighting style inprevious seasons. I mean yes we saw Ruby struggle without Crescent Rose duringher brief altercation with Mercury Black during the Vytal Festival back in V3however we’ve also had moments when Ruby was able to hold her own without theneed for her trademark weapon as shown back in her last fight against Torchwickand Neo in the same season.

So the Writers making the choice to alter that trait in Ruby’s character to suit the PLOTfor that respective season honestly came off as a minor retcon for our little red rose .A retconthat was ultimately made pointless bythe end of V5 entering V6 since Ruby was never seen using or even needing to use hand tohand combat ever again; making me ask the obvious of question of whythe Writers chose to have that be a point of focus for Ruby back in V5 sincethem dropping it a season later  madethat aspect of her story from the season before quite meaningless.

Now this squiggle meister is starting to get a weird sense of déjà vusince I’m seeing a similar pattern being repeated for Ruby’s character for V7only now it’s with her semblance.

While I understand that one’ssemblance is capable of evolving withtime and proper continuous training as mentioned by Ozpin back in V5, however Ican’t tell whether Harriet’s remark to Ruby in V7CH3 about “there being more to her semblance than sherealized” was an indicator that Ruby’s Petal Burst semblance might be evolvingwithout her realization or not.

I mean that could very well be thecase going on with Ruby. However instead I’m left feeling like it doesn’tmatter or that it’s not really that important since Ruby herself has been shown to notthink about it at all; in spite of characters like Harriet and later Oscar inCH6 pointing out that there is something different going on with her signaturesuperpower. 

Instead I’m left thinking that thewhole thing with Ruby’s semblance for V7 is just another example of the PLOT forcing attention onto another aspect ofRuby’s character that’s didn’t really need it.

Back in V5, hand to hand combat didn’tneed to be an obstacle Ruby needed to overcome since a) scythe-wielding has alwaysbeen her signature combat style since her introduction and most importantlyof all b) she never needed to learn hand to hand since it’s never been a  liability to her as a huntress in the line of combat prior to V5.

And now for V7, I’m seeing a similarthing with Ruby’s semblance seeming to be getting some focus but I’m leftfeeling confused by this choice since Ruby’s semblance had been consistent(mostly) for many seasons and honestly didn’t really need any focus at allsince I wasn’t expecting Ruby’s semblance to be developed moving forward.

I was expecting it to be her SilverEyes especially coming off of the end of V6. However it appears that onceagain, Ruby the Silver Eye plot thread has been dropped for yet another season whichunfortunately makes all of progress back in V6 (as small as it is) feel …well…kindof pointless.

Now the impression I’m left with, asa viewer and Ruby Stan, is that the CRWBY Writersdon’t have a clear blueprint or treatment for what Ruby’s Arc is supposed tobe.  While it’s evident that they do haveIDEAS for what they can do for Ruby’s story, a proper PLAN of how they intendto go about executing said ideas per season isn’t there and it SHOWS in the show.

Case in point, Ruby being a SilverEye. Despite presenting the allusion that Ruby being a Silver Eyed Warrior mightultimately play an important part in her story with Salem, the implementationof them building up that side of her story has not only been sloppily handled butit’s also been very fickle with how they flipflop with other things they claim to be important to Ruby’s development.

And as someone who was very excitedto see the progress of this stage of Ruby’s character, seeing the way the PLOThas been handling Ruby in that regard has been a disappointment. Nonetheless, inspite of the oddness in choices made for her writing, this squiggle meister still likes Ruby as our protagonist. She’s stillmy second all-time favourite RWBY character.

If anything, my feelings for Rubyironically match my other favourite character: Oscar—Still one of my favs howeverthe treatment of their side of the story within the series has been so questionable that it’s made it hard toremain invested in whatever the showrunners have planned for said character.Granted that there even is a clear plan which I’m left feeling like there isn’tone based on what I’ve seen so far. However, this is only my opinion.

If anyone reading through myresponse respectfully disagrees withme since they’ve been satisfied with Ruby’s story up until this point then that’sperfectly fine. Like I said, this is my stance onthis subject matter and I hope no one is offended byme taking it this way.

That being said, my verdict isn’tthat Ruby doesn’t receive a lot of focus compared to other characters. As I’vestated throughout my post, I think she receives a good amount as the leader ofour main four. It’s just what the PLOT decides to be the focal point of Ruby’sside of things and the execution of those ideas. This has been my issue withRuby for the past three volumes and even as we’re in V7, it’s unfortunatelystill a problem with the writing for her character for me.

It’s as I said. During the BeaconTrilogy, Ruby’s story was that she wanted to become a huntress to protectothers and a pivotal part of her arc back then was watching her grow into thatrole while proving herself in the eyes of other characters who either doubtedher abilities (such as Weiss) or rose to challenge her on her ideals (such as RomanTorchwick).

It was great watching Ruby grow intoher own as a huntress back in those early seasons because it was a stable part of her character writing that grew withevery season that followed the last.

It’s why I’m having issues followingRuby’s development into a Silver Eyed Warrior (or anything the PLOT has donewith her after V3). The consistency thatwas present with her development has been lost a bit and thus, I’m left feelinglost on what Ruby’s story moving forward is going to actually be.

This isn’t me trying to throw shadeat the Writers or the writing for RWBY in general. It’s just an issue that I’vebeen noticing over the past few seasons, especially since I did my full recapof the whole series last year in preparation for V6.

It’s an overarching issue that, forme, began a bit back during V4 until it was made more apparent by V5. While V6and V7 have shown improvements andsteps in a better direction for the series, unfortunately I’m still noticingthe same lingering problem that has impacted the overall treatment ofcharacters such as Ruby.

Don’t get me wrong. There has been plentyof material dropped by the last few volumes from which I can see the PLOTworking off of to further strengthen Ruby’s story and character. But just likeher treatment back during the Mistral Arc, I’m concerned for the execution of those said ideas and that’s where I mostlystand in that regard.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

[orionsangel86]

Some honest thoughts...

As many of you know, I have tried to remain very positive lately about the show and the current direction. I have always tried to speak my mind and not mislead my followers especially regarding a topic that we are all so very passionate about. This is why I want to write down some things that have played on my mind lately. 

Long post under the cut

I have always been honest about my analysis of the show, and what I interpret as I watch. What I don’t think is made clear enough by many of us meta writers is that sometimes the direction of the show changes, sometimes the change is slow, sometimes it happens abruptly. All we can do is let the show guide us. We let the meta guide US, rather than force it to fit our preferred reading.

The one thing I have always tried to avoid, regardless of what idiots on Twitter might claim, is confirmation bias. I will not let my desire for canonically romantic Destiel endgame affect my meta reading of the show. I ALWAYS force myself to see other perspectives and usually, the show still pleasantly surprises me by loading the subtext with Destiel themes.

I have written several posts on the topic lately to remind you all of my current stance:

My view on canon endgame Destiel (plus additions by others)

My view on the business side of things

My last meta piece on endgame themes in Season 14

Since the announcement that Season 15 was the last, I have suffered a whole range of emotions, and many of those were relating to my fear over Destiel. My desire for it to be brought to text is shared by so many of you, I am just another fan like any of you who desperately wants this love story honoured and done RIGHT. My optimism has constantly jumped up and down from episode to episode, from one PR release to another. I can’t make up my bloody mind. 

I’m scared. 

I’ll probably be mocked for saying that. I half expect the assholes to grab hold of this post when I’m done and use it to twist my words and attack Destiel shippers with. The one thing you can always count on with absolute certainty is the predictability of the bronlies and *others* who have recently aligned themselves with them. I’ll blow them a kiss now and be done with it.

This isn’t a post to announce a *change* of heart as such, but like @tinkdw wrote this morning my optimism on endgame romantic Destiel is currently at a low point.

Ever since the end of the S12/13 escalation after 13x06, I have had this horrible voice in the back of my head telling me that such an abrupt change of pace probably came from higher up. Suddenly jumping from a heavily romantic Destiel arc to zero Destiel focus was extremely jarring and confusing enough even for the general audience to be confused with.

Since then, whilst we HAVE had quite a nice helping of Destiel elements in the show to keep us going, the lack of follow up on that escalation at THIS point is starting to concern me. There is still definitely intentional subtext being laid down for us to enjoy, but in my opinion it has fallen back into the realm of plausible deniability and the characters can easily be viewed as platonic friends/brothers.

Instead, there has been a drastic increase in the focus on found family and the Winchester family unit lately - centering around TFW being the parents of Jack. Sam, Dean, and Cas have all been presented as three equal father figures to their son, the majority of PR has treated the three show leads very equal, and this in itself is amazing for a show that has so often side lined Cas in previous years. This is still a hug win for anyone who sits in camp “Cas is a lead and this show is more than the brothers”.

I always used to say when Dabb took over, that this was a good thing for Cas fans. I still maintain this stance. Cas is more present than ever as an equal to Sam and Dean, and sure they have their disagreements, but his character journey is integral to the brothers journey now. There is absolutely no way that this show will end without the three of them together - whether in life or in death. If it does, then I will be flinging my laptop into the wall in utter despair. 

The latest episode was a heavily emotional send off for Mary Winchester. I was expecting her death, though for a short time there I hoped that perhaps it would  be subverted. I feel like she was honoured well, but at the same time I am upset that she was given no choice in the matter, and I will never fully be satisfied with her death as on a very basic level, it was yet another fridging. I also recoiled at the idea that her heaven included John Winchester - after an early season build of a potential new relationship with Bobby (one that was heavily DeanCas coded) this is another change of direction that left me blinking in the headlights. It is another element that has shaken my faith in the show’s ability to logically plot story direction. The one comfort I can take here, is that the John from Mary’s heaven was NOT the actual soul of John Winchester, but a happy memory of him. Mary’s heaven’s front door clearly only states her own name. Her and John have never been actual soulmates - just forced soulmates for heavens purposes. I can’t berate Mary on her happy memories of her marriage, but from a narrative perspective it feels like a regression of sorts, put there purely for sentimental purposes. Had it been clear that it was John’s soul, it would have been far worse and I would be in a far worse frame of mind right now.

I have seen some really great meta on this latest episode talking about how Mary’s death has shown once again the difference between Dean and Cas, and Sam and Cas, and how Dean’s extreme emotional reaction to Cas’s desperate attempt to shelter Jack and the brothers from further pain indicates an emotional bond between them beyond the realm of platonic friendship and brotherhood. I really want to agree with this reading. I do. I can see it, and I agree that this could potentially lead to a discussion between them that is desperately overdue. 

But I can also easily see this being overlooked. I can see Bucklemming stomping into the story next episode with their gigantic clumsy boots and crushing all of Bobo’s delicately weaved plot full of call backs, mirrors and poetic symmetry. I can see the DeanCas *conversation* that we have been eagerly awaiting now for nearly 2 whole seasons being once again left behind. 

After the series end announcement, I looked back at several episodes that aired recently, and I speculated that the writers have known this since at least episode 300. Too much of what has been said in the scripts since is obviously a message to the fans. Therefore, everything we are currently watching is also already “the endgame” because the writers at this point should start wrapping up loose plot threads and focusing on finalising the character stories. Setting things up for the big finale.

This is why I believe 14x14′s shock end with Michael being destroyed so easily by Jack happened. I seriously doubt that is how it was originally supposed to go. They needed to clear the path for Jack rather than having various different plots running simultaneously like they usually do. 

This is also why I am slightly anxious about Cas’s Empty deal. If this becomes a thread picked up for season 15 great, but I can also see them easily resolving it in some outlandish way to instead focus on whatever big final story will be the focus in season 15. I would love Cas’s deal TO be the focal story, and if this happens, I will also regain faith in a romantic Destiel subplot, but I am wavering. 

Since the writers knew when writing the current run of episodes in season 14 that the season would wind up and prepare for the endgame, if they intended Destiel to be brought to text, I was expecting something more than what we have got. Perhaps I’m just finally burnt out, but frankly I don’t think that the way Dean treated Cas in this latest episode read as a lovers spat, I don’t see intentional romance being coded into their scenes together, and I certainly don’t see any indication from Jensen Ackles in his acting choices that Dean is struggling with a deep love for Cas vs his grief over the loss of his mum. I see loss, and anger, and an outstanding performance yes, but his treatment of Cas was far too cold. In fact, when I look purely at Jensen and Dean over the past season, his interactions with Cas have all been rather cold in my mind. I’m sorry to say this, and I would welcome anyone reaching out to me to point out examples where this view is incorrect. But compare his interactions with Cas to any interactions with Sam, and the difference is obvious, and not in a good way. 

Misha, on the other hand, as always, has spectacularly portrayed Cas’s love for Dean in such an outstanding and heartbreaking way. Throughout this episode his anguish was so evident. He took my breath away, and that final scene when he tries to go to Dean, but Sam stops him, that really made me want to cry. 

So I am still confused, and concerned, because where I see Misha continuing to act his heart out in favour of the love story, I see nothing of the same from Jensen - not since early season 13 anyway. If Destiel was truly on the cards, shouldn’t there be more in the way of early season 13? Are my expectations really so high to want something more than mere one sided scraps?

I need to stress here that I understand the many excuses given towards Dean’s sometimes offish behaviour. He represses his emotions, he hides his feelings, he comes across angry when he is worried. He gets aggressive and violent when scared. I know all of this and will accept this IF the next two episodes SHOW me that he is ALSO capable of apology, of the kind of care and feeling towards Cas that he always gives to Sam. 

Because we HAVE seen that softer, more loving Dean regularly in Season 14. We have seen outstanding performances from Jensen in that respect - but only ever towards Sam, or Mary, or occasionally Jack. He has never shown Cas that same treatment. Again, I appeal to you, especially to other meta writers, to point out clear examples of where I am wrong. Because I really really want you to change my mind. Show me where Dean is obviously looking at Cas with clear romantic love, where the music sweeps and his face betrays his emotion the way it does for Misha whenever Cas is with Dean. 

Of course, there is a rational argument here. That this is all done purposely specifically for the Destiel drama. If this is the case then GREAT. I want it. Believe me I do. But we have two episodes left of this season and one of them will be a huge mess of pacing, action, clunky plot and terrible dialogue, and the other will be the finale which appears to be mostly taken up by Chuck’s return IMO. I can’t see any DeanCas outstanding drama being resolved in the next two episodes. I really REALLY want to be wrong. But if they don’t resolve that DeanCas drama by season end, then IMO the story between them will remain familial. Because a Dean Winchester coming out story in the final season alone just isn’t plausible. 

Again, I stress that I want to be wrong here, but the writers knew the end was coming when they wrote these last few episodes, and if Destiel was something they were doing, then they would have written it into the end of this season. I’m not saying I need a canon reveal, but I do need something more than the scraps we have been given if I am to have my faith rekindled. 

Don’t get me wrong, I adore all the focus on found family, and I fully expect season 15 to further push the Winchesters to finally show to Cas how much he is part of their family. I even think there is a good chance that we could get his name carved on the table by final season end - following that heartbreaking shot of Mary’s initials next to her son’s in 14x18. But I don’t see it being romantic, if there is no romantic push coming up. It is far too easy right now for the show to reinforce the notion that Cas is another brother. I do love that the story is developing down a clear path where Cas will likely choose to be human and live a human life with his brothers, but brothers is all they will be.

I really hope I am wrong, but in amongst all the speculation of this big Destiel reunion and conversation that is long overdue, I can’t help but remember that we have been waiting for this conversation for nearly two years. Just because fandom remembers and holds on to the overtly romantic S12/13 escalation doesn’t mean a general audience will remember this. They will only see the present, and in the present Dean and Cas do not act like a romantic couple. If another long hiatus goes by without that conversation having occurred, it is yet another gap in which the general audience will forget, and the writers will be able to drop it as they have always dropped it previously. 

This is endgame, we can’t afford to have the deancas important plot points dropped anymore. We can’t afford to have their conversations, and apologies, and moments of making up, left in the subtext. We NEED to have that stuff shown the way they show it if it is Sam and Dean. 

If they aren’t planning on doing that, then I doubt there will even be a “Destiel” plot to meta about. It will remain in subtext, as scraps, and maybe something ambiguous right at the end as a saving grace in order to not completely destroy the shows legacy once complete. 

The further we move away from any substantial Destiel elements, the more and more likely it is that a CW exec already pulled the plug on it. As much as I love Bobo, and still enjoyed this episode for its melancholic poetic beauty, his own bitterness over Wayward Sisters still shows clearly in his writing (in my opinion) and I don’t believe he truly has his heart in it the way Steve Yokey does. I sometimes wonder if his lack of passion for his episodes recently is to do with more than just the loss of Wayward Sisters. Could Bobo also be upset about a “no” on Destiel?

The saving grace here being that Yokey still fills his episode with passion and plenty of queer coding. Yokey is the other person on the writing team who I focus on in terms of accusations of queerbaiting. Yokey certainly wouldn’t queerbait his own community, but unlike Bobo where there appears to be a certain bitterness over his place on the show, Yokey still embraces his role and seems very happy with it. If they had truly been given a red light from the execs, then wouldn’t Yokey also be feeling kinda pissed off that he is working on a show that is potentially going to go down in history as the biggest queerbait since TV began?

Aside from Bobo, which can be explained by Wayward Sisters, there is still passion and joy from the writing team, and if they were truly aware that Destiel wasn’t happening, I don’t think they would be so proud. So maybe there is still hope after all? They aren’t the kind of people to intentionally queerbait their fanbase. Yet Destiel has definitely been an intentional part of their storytelling for years. 

I truly hope that the next two episodes rekindle my faith, but right now I have very little hope for textual romance. I am still 100% on board with the found family, Cas is definitely a Winchester and third lead focus that the show has been pushing. It brings me a lot of joy. But yeah, I need a lot more than we are currently getting if Destiel is really still on track. 

Sorry guys. Perhaps I am just not quite out of my rough patch this week. I am fickle enough that by next week I could have totally changed my mind again, but as always. These are my opinions, not to be inflicted on anyone else. You are responsible for managing your own expectations. This is how I manage mine.

xxx

[kalinara]

You know what I loved best about Shadowhunters?

It is the first time I’ve seen anyone tackle the idea of a deconstructive adaptation outside of fanfiction.

The Mortal Instruments novels were pretty popular as I recall.  They sold well, built up a pretty passionate fanbase, and even got a movie that I never actually saw.  I think I read maybe the first one, and it wasn’t really to my taste, but I didn’t think it was terrible.  It just had a lot of the common flaws that I see in a lot of YA books.  

And generally, when you get an adaptation, it doesn’t tend to touch on these problematic elements.  Or if it does, it kind of sidles away from them.  The Twilight movies, for example, show us a couple of POC as vampires, even though technically according to the books, all vampires get paler with age.  But at the same time, neither movies nor books really address the inherent racist dynamic between the vampires and the werewolves.  And so on.

Shadowhunters is different.

When I watch Shadowhunters as an adaptation, I get the sense that a lot of the people involved genuinely do love the Mortal Instruments as a series, but that they’re not willing to overlook the problematic elements.  They want to explore them instead.

And they did.  Starting with the Clave.  Because, at least from what I recall, there’s not a whole lot TO the Clave in the books.  I mean, it’s there.  Sort of.  But our main trio (Jace, Alec, and Izzy) seem to be primarily fighting demons on their own.  They’re literally children.  I think Alec is the oldest at what, seventeen?  And while they’re meant to protect Downworlders and only kill demons, there’s a certain level of probably unconscious superiority.  I mean obviously they don’t support Valentine, the villain who wants to genocide all the downworlders.  But the elements are still there.  Our heroes have angel blood, our heroes are special, and their authority is righteous.

I’m not trying to attack Ms. Clare with this, because I think this kind of thing is very very common in YA books in general.  But I love what Shadowhunters did with this set up.

First, Shadowhunters did away with the idea of Jace, Alec, and Izzy as lone child soldiers against demons.  The Clave exists, and it’s very visible.  The Institute is bustling, filled with all sorts of background personnel.  Something is always happening.  Things are always being monitored.  There are missions happening that our characters aren’t necessarily involved in.  This does create a bit of narrative awkwardness in the first season, when the show tended to cleave more loyally to the books.  (Alec’s role as de facto leader of the Institute early on in particular seems to wax and wane in terms of level of authority.).  But it smooths itself out early on.  And it makes more sense: fighting demons is pretty important.  Not a matter to be left to three teenagers alone.

The show both ages up our characters, which makes certain romantic plots a lot less creepy, and actually addresses the idea that these people have been essentially soldiers from childhood, and that there is a LOT of institutionalized racism and superiority, along with militant duty, that gets drilled into these people from birth.  We get to see the kind of environment that builds a Valentine, and how even generally rational adults like Luke and Jocelyn might have gotten caught up in his fanatic ideology.  It takes the throwaway comments and superiority displayed by the protagonists in the book and extrapolates where that came from.

I remember reading somewhere that Ms. Clare was really unhappy with Alec’s actions early on in season one, when he was in support of Meliorn being taken to the City of Bones for interrogation (torture).    And I can understand that.  I’m sure Ms. Clare has a very clear idea in her mind about who Alexander Lightwood is.  And her Alec Lightwood would never agree to take a man to be tortured.

But I think that, in terms of the show, it was important to show Alec like that.  Because we needed to see exactly how ingrained this ideology actually is.  Jace is the brooding rebel.  Izzy is the bleeding heart half in love with Meliorn already.  Alec is the responsible one, the dutiful one who shoulders the burdens.  Which means, he’s the character most likely (at this point in the story) to swallow his conscience and misgivings and do what he thinks he’s supposed to do.

It’s an ugly moment, but it provides us with a focal point for his eventual growth.  Alec’s multi-season plot, of overcoming both overt and unconscious personal racism, to tackling the problems of the Clave itself, is one of my favorite parts of the series.  And it had to start somewhere.

One of the touches that initially made me uncomfortable, but now I rather like, is how most of the Shadowhunters are white, while most of the Downworlders are POC.  There are exceptions on both sides (the Penhallows, Luke-pre-Werewolfing, Iris Rouse), but that’s the general gist.  And at first, I thought this was a really bad thing.  Until I realized that the show actually was making a point.

Because the racism against Downworlders is fantastic racism.   And all too often, fantastic racism becomes an excuse to use real world narrative tropes meant for poc and apply them to white people.  And look, I like X-Men as much as anyone, but this isn’t our story.  (And there are very few things that annoy me more than when we see fantasy racism applied in ways that lead to POC being racist against white people: see the anti-alien senator during one season of Supergirl who just happened to be Latina.)

Even though it’s still a little uncomfortable that most of the people with “angel blood” are white and most of the people with “demon blood” are not, it does mean that we’re basically returning the focus of the fantastic racism back where it should be: on the POC victims.

Most of the Downworlders we see on the show are good people.  They’re trying to live their lives the best they can.  And the Clave uses the actions of a few bad apples (many of whom have some significant provocation!) to justify a draconian rule over all of them.

The parallels are hard to miss, and the show doesn’t actually try to miss them.  I always think particularly of the episode in season 2, where the Clave starts to chip Downworlders in response to a serial killer targeting Shadowhunters.  It’s heavy handed, sure, but it hits hard when Maia talks about real world racism and how the Shadowhunters are supposed to be better than that.  It’s another episode where a main character is complicit in the institutional racism, and that gets called out too.

It’s not perfect, of course.  And I think Jace, in particular, ends up getting off scott free for things that he really shouldn’t.  (For example, kidnapping the werewolf girl and bringing her to Valentine makes him literally guilty of her murder under the law.)  But it’s something.

Another improvement from the books is in Alec and Magnus’s relationship.  For one thing, they’re a side couple in the books, given a handful of scenes here and there, but very much in the shadow of Clary and Jace’s drama.  Their plots have some seriously uncomfortable elements: the age difference, the way Magnus presses Alec to come out, Alec’s paranoia over Magnus’s sexuality and past experience, Alec’s plotting with Camille to remove Magnus’s immortality.  It’s a mess.

Now whether or not it’s a worse mess than Clary and Jace’s nonsense.  You got me.  But it wasn’t fun.

But even with the problems, Magnus and Alec meant something to a lot of fans.  And I think the show really delivers on that front.  Magnus and Alec go from being a side couple with a handful of scenes, to in many ways, being the pillar of the series.  The age difference is less of an issue (I mean, Magnus is still many times Alec’s age, but Alec is actually an adult in this version).  The biphobia is gone, and while Alec is occasionally intimidated by the difference in their experiences, it never turns into a critique of Magnus. 

Their conflicts and obstacles are much more compelling.  Alec’s initial coming out story was triumphant and the best part of season 1 to me.  The fact that Magnus is a Downworlder, and Alec is a Shadowhunter, with all that entails isn’t forgotten.  The romance, and Alec’s plot of overcoming his racism, are deeply intertwined.  And Magnus isn’t a bit part in the story either.  His plot, especially with regard to his self-identity and relationship to his magic, is just as important, if not more so, by the last season.

The weakest part of the series for me was when they were more faithful to the books, but I thought the show did a good job of refocusing later season events on Clary rather than Jace.  One of the things that annoyed me about book and the early part of the series is that, as soon as we had Jace’s (not) parentage reveal, he seemed to end up with 90% of the focus in any of the family drama.  Clary discovers her long lost father is a genocidal maniac, but Jace was raised by the man so it gets more focus.  The dynamic between Jace and Jonathan had a lot more focus in the books too.  Sometimes it seemed like the story forgot that Clary also had a family stake in more than just her mother.  So I was really happy when the show started digging into Clary’s identity as a Morgenstern, and went the route of linking her to Jonathan.  (Even if I could definitely do without incestuous overtones.)  Jace, as a character, tends to work better when he isn’t the center focus, in my opinion.  Or at least when the focus is shared, and he gets to react and take part in other characters’ plotlines.

You’ll occasionally see this sort of deconstruction in fanfiction (when it’s not a joyous celebration of unlikely characters banging - not that there’s anything wrong with that), but rarely to this extent, and certainly never with this kind of budget.  The idea of a “Shadowhunters style deconstruction” is a really interesting thought exercise to apply to all sorts of media that has both enjoyable and problematic elements.  

[novaviis]

@speedsterunlimited replied to your post “Poor Jeff and honestly I don’t blame him for being upset. He has every...”

@novaviis Maybe the reason why I don't feel for Jeff is 'cause the writers did little with him for me to care? I also never cared for Jace. She's a lying, manipulative bitch and I know from way before she was on the show. Jeff is a good guy, but like I said, the show did almost nothing for me to care. It's nothing personal against Jeff. Really. Also, if you think is stupid not to feel sympathy for an animated character, shouldn't it be as stupid to feel sympathy?

I... no, that’s entirely missing the point. 

Of course Jace is a lying, manipulative bitch! No one cares for her, and I think it’s clear that no one trusted her from the beginning. We weren’t meant to. We were shown what the other characters didn’t see, specifically planting the seeds that we shouldn’t. 

The point isn’t that this turn in the plot is supposed to be hard hitting and emotional. It’s not the focal point of the show. Jace and Jeff’s “relationship” was just one detail in a greater scheme. It doesn’t have the be the centre of everything to look at that situation, a man who was manipulated and betrayed by someone he thought he could trust (because he didn’t know what we as the audience knew), to be able to think “hey, that would really hurt, I feel for him”. 

I’m not saying it’s “stupid not to feel sympathy for an animated character”, and that counter point makes... absolutely no sense. 

What I am saying is that there’s no grounds for behaving like knowing we weren’t meant to trust Jace puts you above anyone else, much less, y’know, the characters in the story we are watching. I’m not even saying you have to care about Jefferson’s heartache. No one’s forcing you to give to shits about it. 

But going onto someone else’s post saying that they sympathize with the character and saying that’s stupid is a bad look. 

[circuitlover]

Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Analysis

Is this a ridiculously naval-gazing post about Evangelion? Yes. Is it an accurate assessment of the franchise as a whole? I have no idea. I tackled this as an unknown initially, starting the series with zero contexts beyond the usual recommendation of “you should watch this.” Which is part of the reason why I’ve been a little hesitant about even broaching this subject to begin with. I’m so removed from the zeitgeist, both in terms of not being a regular anime viewer, as well as it being long past Evangelion’s relevance as a franchise, that it seems everybody already has their opinion on Evangelion all figured out. So at least indulge me, as I scramble around for something.

‘The End of Evangelion’ is a certainly a gratifying conclusion, as we finally get to see much of what was being concealed behind the veil (well, as much as one could reasonably hope for). It also reminds us of some long-standing questions. Why do the Evangelion possess such a bizarre tendency to be ill suited for battle? How do NERV’s continue to run unabated from governing bodies? What exactly is the mystery surrounding the origin of the ‘Geofront’? These were all broad strokes of why I felt unsatisfied by the original conclusion (the hastily arranged make good of the final few episodes of the series), and though I don’t expect every minor detail to be answered about such a multi-faceted world, I still feel these were questions pertinent enough to have been resolved in some fashion. Now I’m a little more aware of the troubled events leading up to that ending and it’s quite admirable that they managed to deliver something, despite the haphazard nature of those final two episodes.

 It’s clear that End of Evangelion intends to underline the original series from the start, dropping us back at the critical juncture where episode 24 had left us. Even if one could feasibly state that we reach the same point after the events of EOE, I’d argue that we inhabit a vastly different headspace by the time we reach it here. It’s not difficult to surmise what happens between the gaps left between the final two episodes, though everything is lent much more credence here, now that we are left to witness the macabre reality of what the entire series has been building towards. NERV headquarters is finally attacked by SEELE, and with this, we finally see the bloody climax. Now free to depict the attack in full detail, the opening half is certainly full of action and excess, though far from mindless, with only the most unflinching of viewers (or those divorced from its context) likely to derive any sort of baseless enjoyment from these scenes. The various lingering shots of deaths sit uncomfortably here, but nonetheless punctuate the finality of it all. If anyone could have accused the series of taking a wholly unexpected (and saccharine) turn towards it’s finale, then EOE is it’s biting rebuttal.  As cold as the NERV headquarters is, with almost everything bad that has occurred almost exclusively originating from within it’s walls, it’s still disconcerting to see such a familiar setting being callously destroyed in a matter of minutes, along with it’s inhabitants. The conflict has essentially existed as a faceless one; both the audience and Evangelion’s protagonists seldom knew what they’re truly been up against. It’s a war being played out by the pawns, and here we see the severity first-hand.

 As their headquarters are crumbling, so are the pilots. Shinji is in no fit state, evidenced by his own bemusement over his actions towards a comatose Asuka. It may be shocking, and his actions are far from admirable, but given the context, it’s hardly surprising. After all, his confidence had been built up; only to be meticulously broken the instant Kaworu reared his head. This compounded with his earlier apprehensions after Toji’s departure, his various disingenuous, failed, and otherwise doomed relationships leaves his mental state in tatters. I personally don’t like Shinji, but then again, it’s quite clear to see that you’re not really supposed to. Even without Hideki Anno’s spiteful intent of wanting to deconstruct the typical shonen hero propelling Shinji’s arc, it’s quite safe to assume that anyone who had any lingering empathy for Shinji will almost certainly have abandoned such notions at this point. The Shinji we were first introduced to, awkward, unlikeable, with an overriding sense of hate and self-loathing, has now given way to complete apathy. “I’m so fucked up” seems to ring more an acknowledgement, than it does a realization.

 Like Shinji, Asuka too has succumbed to her trauma, but on a much more literal scale, being broken in both mind and body. They are two characters that are seemingly analogous to one another. But again, first appearances can be deceiving, as by the point of Asuka’s introduction, we are already keenly aware of Shinji’s nature. He openly laments his position; Meanwhile, Asuka is brash and outspoken, embracing her identity as a designated hero, rather than cowering behind it. How they choose to define themselves is different, but the underlying reasons are gradually revealed to quite similar. Both driven by an inherent self-loathing, we witness the pair at varying levels of despondency, though rarely at the same time. In fact, for as consistent as emotional turmoil is through NGE, it is rarely overt, leaving most characters to wallow in their own abject misery. Almost everything operates on a certain level on duplicity, some of which, admittedly, isn’t apparent upon first viewing.

 Rei is ostensibly disconnected from the very beginning, though that makes the act of attempting to interpret the character, quite difficult. Very little is revealed about her, and most of the development is concerned with what she is, rather than what she does. Her role is pivotal to the overall narrative, and the themes being explored, as she is, by design, a doll that emotes. Which I guess is where her appeal lies. The mystery intrinsic to the character is never completely done away with, even at the very end. And the case could be made if the third incarnation of ‘Rei’ is even the same character that we’d become accustomed to, as her eventual rejection of instrumentality is a stark contrast to the cold pragmatist that bookended the TV series.

 The (quite literal) congratulatory nature of the series conclusion was always conspicuous in its inclusion. Evangelion had never been a work that had an interest in servicing its audience, at least in terms of a ‘happy’ ending. Which isn’t to say that wasn’t a possibility, but the tonal dissonance in which it was delivered never quite rang true. As an audience, we were conditioned to cautiously enjoy any brief respites afforded to our characters, as more often than not, it was simply a prelude to the turmoil that was soon to be heaped upon them. All of which (keeping with tradition), means the course correcting of EOE ups the stakes by an order of magnitude. The imminent attack is at the worst possible time, with each pilot being indisposed. The first big sequence, the assault on NERV, is a veritable massacre. Everyone’s fates are conclusively played out, whilst the Evangelion units become the focal point. 01 is promptly captured, whilst 02 (along with Asuka) is sunk to the bottom of the lake. This leaves Misato to attempt to galvanize an unstable Shinji. It’s kind of galling to see Shinji act so despondently in the face of her imminent death, though his selfishness probably obscures that fact until it’s too late. For me, Katsuragi is probably the most well meaning of the entire cast, but tragically, is someone woefully inept of providing the emotional support that others around her need. Her own weaknesses are clear to see, and although many of her problems are often emphasized for comic affect, she is still one of the few who straddles the line between her duties and profession life, perhaps the most convincingly. Like most other characters, she serves as juxtaposition to Shinji’s own conflict, and highlights how everyone is dealing with their own issues, just with varying levels of inadequacy. Her final actions echo her previous (failed) attempt at comforting Shinji, with her own loneliness giving way to fleeting intimacy.

Everything hits a crescendo once the Evangelion finally make their appearance, quite literally. Asuka awakens, and with it, her centrepiece battle takes place. I’m sure that it isn’t really something that I need to go into exacting detail about, because the following scene is enduring all by itself. Though it is notable as a culmination of the various elements all coming together; music, animation, along with the story. This is where EOE leverage’s its theatrical status for all its worth, eschewing the patchwork TV production in favour of something grander.  The actions scenes are often impressive and horrifying in equal measure, and there is probably no greater proof than here. Asuka’s death is certainly disturbing, and much of that is down to how they chose to portray that violence. For me, it recalled earlier moments, where the eldritch abomination like nature of the Evangelion had been evoked. These moments give the audience a brief pause for thought, where much is suggested of how horrifying their (The Evangelion) unshackled nature truly is. The unease, which these moments produce, suggests that something is terribly untoward. Most of which is conveyed in how we (the audience) see others react, gleaning what we can from cutaway shots of onlookers recoiling in horror. If recollections of Unit O1’s previous ‘feast’ already served to perturb, then this surely toys with our imagination yet further. We only see Unit 02 itself being devoured, and now knowing what we do about the distinctly human aspect of the Evangelion, the horror of Asuka’s fate here, trapped inside, now inhabits an altogether more unsettling space. The series ending, try as I might to appreciate it, was never going to suffice. It was nice to see Shinji’s own paradigm being settled, but I felt like it would have been more effective with a little more of that ambiguity stripped away. For as much as Neon Genesis Evangelion likes to steep itself in duplicity, this is where it’s felt like it was something of a compromise. The inner turmoil was my key takeaway from the work as a whole; it forms the crux of every relationship, and dictates the course of every action. It’s a lonely show, something that if not apparent from the get-go, slowly permeates throughout the narrative. Shinji is an initially an awkward character to relate to, bumbling his way through his scenes, though much of this weak nature is revealed to be a product of his environment. The world in which this all takes place is irreparably damaged, and even if the true extent of the second impact isn’t made expressly clear, it becomes quite apparent that humanity lives on in its own self-inflicted dystopia. It is this inherent contradiction that defines nearly every relationship, as each is unwilling (or unable) to acknowledge their true feelings. It is ultimately a self-destructive existence for the likes of Shinji, who permeates multiple meanings to his interactions with people, the paradoxical nature of which is explored in the conflict that defines the multiple endings and interpretations. Shinji is our proxy, but even so, it can be difficult to empathize with him. A hero he may be, but it’s more by designation than by design. It’s a role, which he consistently questions, as he exhibits almost none of the values we typically associate with someone tasked with such a mammoth task. He ostensibly comes of age throughout the series, gradually gaining some semblance of self-worth, though it a precarious act as he constantly seeks assurance from his father, and later anyone (which becomes something that Asuka resents him for). No character is treated like a proverbial puppet more than Shinji. In fact, it is SEELE themselves, who objective turns out to ultimately “break” Shinji, rendering his ego to naught. For all intents and purposes, it could be argued that the whole world is literally against him, at least by his own perceptions. His relationship is Asuka is extremely strained, initially showing hints of affection, with their hilariously depressing kiss encapsulates this dichotomy; Neither the circumstances (nor the characters) allowing for anything to take place. Even the slight reprieve offered in the finale (Asuka’s acknowledgement amidst the fallout) is obfuscated by the context in which it’s delivered.

Shinji’s journey dictates the ending, first, in the original series, where his perspective colours the ambiguity from which we see the fallout. Thematically this works (and I can see why some may prefer the agency it gives the audience), though I feel that the abstract nature of this ending, robs it of some emotional resonance. This conclusion is also hampered (at least for me) in how abrupt it is, with certain story threads left dangling. In my opinion, ‘End of Evangelion’ lives up to it’s billing as it gives a much more balanced and subjective conclusion, where we see first-hand “The Human Instrumentality Project” in effect. I was suitably invested to the point where I wished to see how the end was reached, and of course, see something that wasn’t cobbled together with recycled animation or slight of hand. I can certainly appreciate the original ending as a companion piece, which serves as a more personal and intimate resolution. But the fact remains, a lot of the fascination surely lays with how incomplete this all feels, with each finale, seemingly answering as many questions as they create. That said, I find that both endings offer up a surprisingly optimistic message. The original may be more overtly upbeat, but I think that EOE’s is lent more credence by virtue of the horror that precedes it. The life affirming message is delivered in the most tragic of circumstances, and I perhaps find that most heartening of all. By no means does ‘End of Evangelion’ end on a positive note, but I think it’s enough that it carries the promise of one. The somber sentiment may be more prevalent for some, though my rebuttal would point to the fact that, for as depraved and unethical the means may be, everyone ultimately wants to be happy. There is something to be said about the apparent theology that makes up a large part of Evangelion, and even if it has no real implication beyond the aesthetic (those initial warnings from long-time fans that, yes, a lot of the pseudo Christian imagery is window dressing at best. ), I still feel that its prominence casts a large shadow over proceedings. If nothing else, it certainly lends a morbid atmosphere to the show. When one starts to take this aspect into closer consideration, it’s easy to see why theory regarding Evangelion has become so prevalent. One of the constants throughout is the titular Evangelion. Though they remain a focal part, their function, both narratively and thematically, are constantly shifting. Initially agents of change, they are presented as a mysterious, if helpful force. Gradually this is peeled back, as various allusions are made to what they actually are. Throughout, we see how their pilots are affected by their experiences in their cockpits. Shinji is continually drawn and repulsed by the idea of piloting his Evangelion, seeing it as a means to forge something meaningful, whilst at the time, also aware of how dependant he becomes of his new role. Rei is driven by a sense of twisted duty, one that routinely sees her sacrificing herself (needlessly) for the cause. And Asuka perceives her role as raison d'être to obfuscate her own past, this being both a strength and a weakness. For better or worse, the Evangelion define them, and as the story progresses, we see that this takes on altogether more sinister connotations.  When viewed as an allegory, I think Evangelion holds multiple meanings, depending on what part is being referred to, or indeed who is viewing it. My initial impressions were pretty much taking it at face value, though I think the misdirection of the opening is a deliberate ploy for the most part. I’ve read that some take it as a deconstruction of the very genre it inhabits, though not having much experience with that myself, I choose to focus solely on the emotional aspects. Indeed, the psychological (and philosophical) strands become much more prominent as the series progresses, as it steadily veers into becoming a wholly oblique affair. Humanity may live on, but in spite of itself; something which is made abundantly clear, throughout.

Though its message initially seems quite muddled, I still feel it one that still manages to remain pertinent. I certainly can’t fault it for ambition. And there is something to be said about a piece of work that I simultaneously feel, is one of the most bleak and uplifting things I have witnessed, flawed or otherwise. I appreciate the themes that it chooses to explore. I like the characters, even in spite of everyone being contemptible in some glaring way. And in that respect, this series is nothing, if not a parade of characters struggling to deal with their emotions. But maybe that’s why I like it amidst all the abstract craziness; it retains a very human message.