#circumstances. so im getting used to it and lining is actually??? not that bad)
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women. you agree.
#(if you see a difference in line quality. i actually got a tablet (android) that is strong enough to run krita. through a wack series of#circumstances. so im getting used to it and lining is actually??? not that bad)#im gonna call them.#cantoriel#toriel#fanart#deltarune oc#digital art#deltarune#krita#dr: cantarell
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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...
#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way#sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table#theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential#its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war#(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time#both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys#both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years#things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group#and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste#it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can#also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk#but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other#(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)
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Some people also just want to post for the enjoyment of writing and sharing it whilst being pretty unskilled; I don’t think the motivation behind posting poorly-written stuff, and not wanting to make corrections, is always gonna be that they’re convinced their way of doing things is the right one and they want to make a point of that. Some of em might be convinced of that, but them posting a fic in that conviction isn’t really anything to do with the conviction, honestly? Like, if they post it, there’s another badly-written fic on the internet. That’s not... hurting anyone, beyond the fact that someone might feel they’ve wasted a couple of seconds clicking the link, going ‘oh, this isn’t readable for me,’ and hitting the back button. (It might honestly be readable for some people, people do engage with very poorly-written fic and honestly that’s frequently kids engaging with other kids. I think that’s an important part of fandom that it’d be a bad idea to lose sight of or act like it’s something that needs to be corrected).
Also some of em who write badly don’t have that conviction and just... want to write, even if they’re unskilled at it, and a lot of those honestly are gonna be like, teenagers who are still not done with even a high-school level education on writing, and may not do well in it on top of that. But there’s nothing in AO3′s rules that says they can’t post fic just because it’s low quality.
I think it’s fair to be like, well fine your loss, if the person is complaining that they’re not getting the amount of views/kudos/comments they were hoping for when they posted it, and they’ve refused help to make it more appealing. But if someone’s just posted their fic and left it there and not made any remark about what their expectations might be, idk if it’s a fair assumption that they must want help/if they don’t like being offered it, they’re in the wrong (in the wrong for cussing out the would-be helper, maybe, but not for the rejection). I know everyone loves getting kudos and comments, but I don’t know if it necessarily follows that it’s then reasonable to assume that... anyone would want more kudos and comments badly enough, that help to attract more positive feedback would more likely be well-received, and if it’s not, that’s purely about the writer’s attitude.
And bad writing is just like any other thing that people might dislike seeing on AO3 - if people really don’t wanna interact with it, they can hit the back button and leave it alone. No author is obligated to improve for the sake of readers’ comfort in only encountering decently-written fic, and existing bad fic doesn’t need to be curated so that it becomes good, if the author is fine with the consequences of their fic being unskilled (diminished engagement, etc, I don’t think I regard unsolicited critique as quite so neutral a consequence that people need to accept). They’ll probably improve somewhat just by continuing to work at writing anyway, even with absolutely no feedback - but even if they never do, like, their fic just existing on the internet and them leaving it there and going on to write the next fic, isn’t really a negative or a thing that needs correcting, in my mind?
I know a ton of people have said this before but for the love everything PLEASE stop treating AO3 like instagram. It is NOT cringe to comment on an old story. It’s an archive old stories are still meant to be found and read. Please think about interacting with the fic you read: at least kudos if you read it, a comment would be ideal. The authors will be over the moon. I guarantee you not a single author is going to ask why someone is commenting on an older fic.
#i do have respect for you twistedchickness but in this case i'm a bit like#i know people compare fanfic to a hobby group but it is vast enough now that it doesn't really follow a structure anything like that#which seems to be reminiscent of the approach you describe?#like posting on ao3 is too broad of a thing to be the same as posting in a curated group of any kind#people who post on ao3 may have no idea that someone else thinks that means they're opening themselves to concrit by default#and if they respond based on not knowing that that's how the other person perceives it#i don't think that's entirely about them having the wrong attitude or whatever#hell. i have never used a beta reader because a) it was a sparse enough thing for people to do when i joined fandom ten years ago#b) i lack energy enough as it is and if i actually finish a fic chances are i just want to get it posted because it's taken me long enough#i would almost certainly refuse if someone offered to beta for me unless it was someone i already knew/trusted#if someone showed up out of the blue and offered their services i would try to be gracious but honestly i would not feel gratitude#because what they'd be offering would be out of line with how i want to do my own fandom experience#im sorry that people were rude to you and you didnt deserve that no matter the circumstances of the people who were rude#but whilst the rudeness is bad im not so sure that the refusal is in principle#fandom#fandom culture
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Whenever people compare Hazel and Timmy its like why r we making two bad bitches fight, they could easily be best friends guys, like I fully think Hazel would help Timmy kinda think his actions though and help him actually process his emotions while Timmy would help Hazel to try not to overthink things and that everything will be ok in the end. Cosmo and Wanda love BOTH of them guys, yes there's a difference in status (IE. Hazel doesn't need Cosmo and Wanda as her parental figures, being more like aunt/uncle vs Timmy who kinda does, and has more of an adopted kid vibe with them) but that doesn't make Timmy or Hazel bad characters!! Nor does it make Timmy or Hazel a worse godkid, I legit just think they both show different styles of godparenting respectfully, and I think that's perfect? It was obvious that Cosmo and Wanda were doing something different with Timmy, Him being proclaimed the favorite, as well as the amount of time they spent with him in general. Timmy was a lot more neglected then Hazel, and I think Cosmo and Wanda had more of a parental attachment to him.
Hazel though has different problems, she has more severe anxiety and is in a new place that she's having trouble adjusting too! and unlike timmy, she experienced a loss of a caretaker when she was a kid, which is a different type of pain than having no caretaker. Comso and Wanda don't try to be Hazel's parents though, rather just another adult figure in her life that she can go too!! Yes I think that Hazel is a lot more fortunate than Timmy and I won't lie one of my criticisms for the new show is the fact that she too happy, which contradicts a lot of the OG's shows' logic that Godkids have to be miserable, but I think this was done for a writing shift, so that so much humor wasn't focused on the cynical tried to be funny outlook they had with Timmy, but actually focused on the fun a godparent CAN be! Hazel is still an amazing protagonist and cause of her we get more fun adventures with Cosmo and Wanda, and adventures in her world too!
I also think that Timmy in general is a more compelling main character but that's cause of my own preferences and beliefs. Im sure there are so many kids rn who watch A New Wish and see themselves in Hazel, like how so many of us saw ourselves in Timmy! I think there's a lot of misinformation and mischaracterization between both of them, and it sucks ALOT!! Im not super into a new wish as I am compared to the old show, but I can respect both protagonists without trying to make the other one seem any less. Saying that Timmy is worse then Hazel just feels like were writing off his characters to the bare bones that were kinda fucked up by butch Hartman himself. If you actually watched and took time to see his character, you'd see how he always just wanted to be a part of his family in the end, that a lot of his wishes were suppose to be somewhat selfless, and meant for the people he loved to be happy!! The "selfish" wishes he made were made out of emotional distress, which, what 10-year-old isn't experiencing at all times??? He had severe circumstances that its hard to draw the line as to what was just cartoon exaggeration vs what his reality is, cause as the show went on his parent's disdain for him felt very real.
He still stood up though, and he put his fairies safety above all else at times, and its so sweet, and shows how much Timmy really was part of their family. He is very much an average kid who no one understands and its sooo funny that it ended up being like that in the general public as well. Timmy did the best with what he had and tbh it was amazing!! I really loved the found family of it all and I do think he belongs with Cosmo and Wanda <3 BUT I THINK IN TERMS OF SHOWS, THEIR BOTH GOOD PROTAGS!! they just have diff storytelling/different circumstances and both are experiencing a different style of godparenting
im saying this as one of the top 10 Timmy Turner fans ever btw
#Fairly odd parents#FOP#Timmy Turner#FOPANW#Fairly odd parents a new wish#Fairly oddparents a new wish#Hazel Wells#Cosmo#Wanda
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One Piece 1133 talk: Praise Me for Living
i just wanted to open this with I WANT TO PELT SPANDINE AND THAT FUCKING SON OF HIS WITH ROCKS SO BAD OH MY GODDDD
"I'll never forget the sounds of the screams that emerged from the fire" THOSE WERE CIVILLIANS. ON THE ISLAND YOU ORDERED A BUSTER CALL ON. I HOPE YOU CHOKED IN YOUR GRAVE AND SUFFER IN HELL I HATE YOU
(kind of a moot point but one other thing i wanna say when I was reading through the raws was that Spandine says “ガキの皮を被った悪魔だ”/"That's a demon wearing the skin of a child" here which - to me - felt more visceral than the translation. still an insane thing to say about a child though, obviously.
edit: I was thinking how fucked up it was that literally everyone around her believed that she truly was the devil's child, but with descriptions like that (+ rumors spreading about how she can use "freakish sorcery" [-> devil fruits not being common in the Blues?], she'd "slit your throat in the night", and "no human emotions", like she's not human at all) you can see how easy it was for people to get brainwashed into this wrong idea of her when she was young. Government manipulation in, i guess, the entirety of West Blue at the time, ran deep. anyways)
With that outta the way, this chapter is masterful. Im gonna cry. Ive cried already throughout a third of my reading for this chapter, it's just so good. Nico Robin I love you so much
Though its unfortunate that we have to see Spandine again, Oda knows what he's doing bringing back Robin's tragedy at the start of the chapter. We know her story, we've seen her flashback, but it's an entire other thing to see it again in Elbaf, the arc where we know the context of, that Saul is alive, and it gives us a clue that that is where the chapter is heading towards.
Also isn't it crazy that when the dialogue frames Robin as this "dangerous", "unfeeling" person with no heart, the visual we're presented with is her crying as she sifts through garbage to search for food, and then sharing it with a dog?? Hello??? And the panels before that goes "The government won't go into detail about the story" for fear that "the truth" might "traumatize the children", which is CRAZY when slapped upon an image of cipher pol agents with guns actively hunting down a child??? The juxtaposition of Spandine's dialogue and the images that are shown is very telling, it's just so well done.
TW: discussions of suicide (for this part)
We know that Robin was ostracized as a child. We know this. Doesn't make it hurt any less, though. Especially (and especially) when it's shown on the pages clearly of how it affected her.
What got me thinking when I saw this again was that all of West Blue was probably fed this lie from the World Government. Every island she went to knew who she was, literally everyone was warned to look out for her, that she was dangerous and should be turned in. And it's not like travelling out of West Blue was safe, nor was it probably an option that existed for Robin back then- like, she was eight!! How was she supposed to go across the Red Line, the Calm Belt?? She was truly boxed in. She must've felt that there was no other way out. Of course she'd turn to suicide.
That panel of her at the cliff honestly broke me. It's not like it wasn't implied at all back when her flashback was first shown; Her circumstances were difficult for her and it wouldn't be out of left field to think that she might have considered dying. To have it drawn on a page that she considered it, looked down from a cliff, and the fact that the only thing keeping her from jumping was her mother's words and Saul's promise was genuinely heartbreaking. She was so strong to have gone through all of that, she deserves the whole world and more actually
Cut back to the present and she lived through it all and here she is with her family, a place where she belongs aaaaaa 🥲 I love that Luffy gets all huffy (hah) over Robin saying that she can go alone, saying that a captain needs to pay their respects to those who have helped their crew, that it's the honorable thing to do. Sounds like a certain someone, ey? (Ace & Shanks lol, he remembers Makino's lessons from all those years ago too ;v;).
Then they all insist to go with her and it's so cute and I was like oh when did she change her clothes and $@!#>}! ITS THE SAME FIT SHE WORE WHEN SHE MET SAUL FOR THE FIRST TIME!! SAUL'S "FALLEN AND WON'T GET UP" IS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GREET HER SO HE DECIDED TO JUST FACEPLANT ON THE BEACH BECAUSE THATS HOW HE MET HER FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! ITS SO SILLY BUT I STARTED TEARING UP??? WHAT????AND THEN THE PARALLELS:
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
my heart...... my heart.....augghjkjsdh..... (speechless)
The fact that the first thing he tells her was about how Ohara's sacrifice wasn't in vain, that traces of them still remain, like Robin, did you hear Vegapunk's message?? That was the message from the people of Ohara, their voices are still being heard!! was so goddang wholesome.
And Robin hears this, and she hears about how Saul survived and the things he heard other people call her, and he's getting angry on behalf of her again but all she wanted (and perhaps, what she truly needed this whole time) was something else;
For Saul to praise her for having survived.
(The Viz translation isn't ~wrong~ with Robin's line here, but I wanted to point out how it was put originally; Instead of "I want to hear nice things about how I survived!", the raws read “生きたこと… 褒めてほしい!”, which, as I understood it, "I want you to praise me... for being alive/having survived!". The chapter title has it as "Nice Things" but the original was “褒めてほしい”/ "I want you to praise (me)". And this probably seemed self-conceited in english?? and that's why it's translated like that idk, i just thought its nicer in jp)
But the fact that Robin is asking this of Saul and the fact that she's able to make that request in the first place is where I sobbed because this is what Robin wants to hear!!! It's a childish, selfish request, and it's something she wasn't able to wish for / doesn't allow herself to wish for before because she thought Saul/anyone she loved from her past was dead this whole time or that she didn't deserve it, but Saul is alive, and it's the first step she needs to take to truly heal!! Her changing her clothes and cutting her hair to seem more like herself when she was younger is a deliberate choice, this is the part of her that needs closure, the part of her that went through all the trauma the world had given her, and she's healing her inner child!! She needed to hear this from Saul!! She deserves this so much!!! (im rambly if this doesnt make any sense im sorry khfdjk)
And Saul laughs, and says of course!/“勿論だ!”, no questions asked, and the unconditional love just broke me down man i cant
Note that Robin was smiling this entire time (maybe from the start of the arc? or at least since she cut her hair) and leading up to the last page was when she finally started breaking down. They're crying, the crew's crying, Luffy looking on so fondly, happy for her, and I'm crying. I love One Piece so much, I love these dorks. I don't think I'll forget this last page for my life, it's one of the best moments in this series to date.... Truly the Robin chapter of all time <3
bonus: lmfao?? maybe they'll let him down once they get back for the festivities but rip bozo
#in which i yap about Robin so hard I start to not make any sense#As always I'm not a native jp speaker I just want to relay the meaning with how I personally understood it#so take everything I say about translations with a grain of salt lol#also one thing i didnt mention was how robin saw a map and drew a little dot on where Ohara used to be and its so damn sad thats it#chapter review#one piece#nico robin#jaguar d. saul#opspoilers#one piece spoilers#elbaf spoilers#one piece 1133#one piece ch. 1133
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Bugs, Bears, and a Thunderstorm
On a camping trip that y/n wasn’t particularly eager to go on, a set of unfavourable circumstances leads to the best possible outcome, leaving her to believe camping may not be so bad, after all.
Pairing: Danny Wagner x f!reader
Word count: 12.5k
Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex (fuck just please wear protection), fingering (f!receiving), oral (m!receiving), oral (f!receiving), face-sitting, sort of rough sex, bit of slapping ig, teasing, name calling, biting, touch of orgasm denial, touch of a daddy kink towards the end (im sorry, im terrible, ik), drinking, swearing, camping (deserves a warning), sorry if I missed any!!
ok without further ado, here it is! I’ve been working on this for like a week and was hoping to have it out days ago. but alas, im on day 3 of one of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had and i think i perhaps may be dying. anyway, im so down bad for this man it’s not even funny. sweet stuff at the beginning, the ending is pretty filthy. i have no explanation for it 😌 enjoy, and as always be kind and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!
~
The sun was warm, inviting you in with its gentle embrace and loving touch. You sat under it, birds chirping in the distance and the smell of the trees filling your nose. The trickle of the lake nearby was calling to you, begging for you to jump in and feel the water on your skin. You made a mental note, ensuring you’d check it out before the day was through. The grass below you was tickling your thighs, reminding you how loving the earth could be if you treated it right. Peacefulness wasn’t a strong enough word to describe the scene. The stress melted off your body as if it never existed. Just by sitting there, you seemed to be able to forget about all of your other worldly troubles.
The serenity was disturbed when voices broke through the air, laughing and joking echoing like the owners didn’t realize you were enjoying the silence. You turned your head, eyes settling on a group of boys. You wanted to be mad, to scold them for disrupting your solitude, but you couldn’t. The minute they came into your line of vision, a smile was breaking out on your lips. “Trying to catch a tan?” Jake asked, taking a seat next to you on the ground.
“Maybe, more or less just enjoying some peace and quiet away from you guys.”
“Oh, come on, Mama, you know you love us.” Josh teased, taking up the empty spot on the other side of you.
“Depends on the day, really.” You shrugged off his comment, giving him a smile. He placed a hand over his heart in mock hurt, giving a dramatic gasp. “Oh, shut up, you know I do.” You assured him. He placed his arm around you, pulling you into his side.
“You know, for someone who said she doesn’t like camping, you seem to be enjoying the trip so far.” Sam chirped, taking a seat on a lawn chair not far off from where the three of you were sitting on the grass. Danny followed suit, sitting in one beside him.
“I like the outdoors, Samuel. I don’t like tents, or bugs, or bears.” He raised an eyebrow at you.
“That doesn’t really make it sound like you like the outdoors, either.”
“Sun! The sun is fantastic! Swimming is great, too! Hikes and fresh air and all of that is awesome! But, I like my bed, and I prefer to sleep without a million bugs trying to bite me, and the thought of not being eaten by a bear is very comforting.” You argued. He held his hands up in surrender, conceding from the discussion. “Besides, having a kitchen is great, and you know, a roof, in case of extreme weather is excellent, too.”
“Fine, I suppose you have a point.” Sam rolled his eyes.
“Speaking of hikes,” Jake turned to look at you, now “we’re getting ready to go check out the trails. Care to join?”
“I was actually going to see the lake over there.” You were honest. You’d love to go with them, but the water was calling your name, and you knew that if you went with the boys, you may not be back until dark.
“You bring your life jacket?” Jake smiled, nudging you with his elbow.
“My god, you guys really know how to disturb the peace.” You shook Josh’s arm off you, standing now.
“You were the one who agreed to come with us.” Sam reminded.
“After you begged me to come!” You snipped.
“Yeah, yeah,” he waved you off, all of them standing now, too. “Daniel will stay and keep you company, just to make sure that bear doesn’t get you.” He winked. The three brothers stalked off, going to collect their bags from the cabin. You watched them walk away, then turned to look at the boy they’d left behind.
“You don’t have to stay with me, Danny.” You assured him.
“I don’t mind,” he gave a nervous smile. You felt your stomach flutter at the sight. “Sometimes I just need a break from them, too.” He admitted.
It was day one of the camping trip you’d been coerced into going on. The boys had a break from touring, and you took some vacation time to spend with them for their time home. You’d arrived earlier that morning after the boys packed their cars with necessities and food. You’d split up into two cars. Sam and Danny had arrived together, and you and the twins went in the other vehicle. You were on the fence about going, due to all the reasons aforementioned. But, you’d managed to convince the boys to rent a cabin rather than rough it in tents, making your uneasiness about the plan a bit better.
After unpacking and throwing the food in the refrigerator, you’d all went your own way for a while. You found yourself content in a patch of sun by the fire pit, leading yourself to your current situation. Now the boys were gone, and you were alone with Danny, who’d managed to win your heart over from the minute you met him. Somehow, he still made you nervous even after years of knowing him.
Your apartment building was nestled in the heart of Nashville. You kept to yourself aside from a few friends you still had from high school, whom you’d spent almost all of your free time with. You were a local bar frequent, spending every weekend going out for karaoke and a few games of pool with your group, just for something to do. You weren’t the biggest fan of drinking, but adored the social aspect.
After one particularly rowdy night, you woke the next morning to banging and crashing in your hallway, covered up almost completely by loud voices. In your hungover state, you decided to check out the scene, wondering who was causing the disturbance in your normally, mostly calm complex. You hoped maybe you could reason with them to keep it down, just to keep your migraine at bay. You washed your face and pulled your hair back, throwing on some clean, comfortable clothes before investigating. When you peeked your head out your front door, you were taken back by the amount of items littering the otherwise empty space. You only had to wonder for a moment before a group of three boys you’d never seen before popped out from an apartment across the hall.
“Well, hello.” A shorter boy with curly hair gave you a breathtaking smile. You tried your best to return it, suddenly feeling very nervous.
“H-hi,” you stuttered, stepping into the hallway. You were too invested now, having to see the interaction through. “You guys moving in?” You asked, addressing all three of them. You noted how similar they all looked.
“We are!” The curly haired boy said, motioning to a strikingly similar boy beside him with long, wavy hair. “I’m Josh, and this is Jake.” He introduced them both. “We’re twins!” You couldn’t help but giggle at him. He was so bubbly and welcoming.
“I’m y/n.” You stepped forward, holding your hand out for them to shake. After the introduction with the twin boys, the taller boy stepped forward, pushing past the other two.
“I’m Sam,” he gave a smile, shaking your hand, too. “The younger, but better, brother.” You laughed at his words.
“So you’re all brothers?” Josh gave you a nod. “Must have been a full house growing up, then.”
“We have a sister, too.” Jake chuckled, leaning against the wall.
“Wow,” you exhaled, unable to imagine that many siblings. “I’ve got one, and she’s way younger than me.” You laughed. “I couldn’t imagine growing up with that many kids in the house.”
“We never killed each other, so I guess it turned out alright.” Sam grinned. “I’m actually moving in upstairs, too, with our best friend Danny. Not sure where he ran off to.”
“So four new faces to see around.” You nodded along to your own words. “I suppose it won’t be that bad. You guys seem alright.”
“As long as noise doesn’t bother you to much.” Sam chuckled. You cocked your head to the side, as if to ask him why. “We’re in a band.”
“Oh, cool! Noise doesn’t bother me, especially if it’s good noise.” You assured them. “The apartment isn’t really quiet in general. Lots of musicians and aspiring artists in here. The hallways usually pretty silent, but not the rooms. That’s kind of why I came out to investigate.”
“What about you, duckie?” Josh asked, eyeing your pyjama pants. You looked down, feeling redness rush to your cheeks at the childish pattern of rubber ducks plastered on the fabric. You were suddenly aware of how attractive all of the boys were, and how hungover you looked. “You an aspiring artist?”
“Writer.” You smiled, trying to brush off the embarrassment.
“I’d love to read something, someday.” His words were honest, warming your heart.
“Who knows, maybe you guys can be my new muse.” You joked.
“Oh! Can I be a superhero?” Sam exclaimed.
“Pirates,” Jake interjected, dismissing Sam’s idea. You giggled.
“I’ll make you guys sound super cool, don’t worry.” You assured them. “I’d love to hear some of your music, too.”
“You play any instruments?” Jake asked, trying to engage more in the conversation.
“I tried a bit of everything, I guess. Never stuck with much, but I could pick a tune on guitar and I could play a melody on the piano. I tried drums a couple times, but my family got fed up pretty fast.” You chuckled at the memory. “I like to sing, most of all, but I tend to stick to my writing.”
“You hear that, guys?” Sam looked between his brothers. “She’s coming for our jobs.” They all laughed at the statement.
“I think you’re all safe, don’t worry. Especially your drummer.” Your eyes looked between all of them, trying to figure out who that might be.
“Speaking of drummers,” Sam cleared his throat, eyes looking down the hall to another body moving towards the group. “Maybe this guy could teach you a thing or two, if you ever wanted to learn.” You couldn’t hide your staring when the fourth boy came into view. He was tall, wearing jeans and a muscle shirt, his biceps catching you off guard. His long curly hair framed his face, his nose a little on the larger side and his eyes glistening with a type of kindness you couldn’t fake.
“Who am I teaching?” He asked, smile wide and tone welcoming. He was breathtaking.
“Duckie.” Sam motioned to you, breaking you from your trance. “She said she’s not very good at the drums. Well, her parents didn’t think so, anyway. She may be alright.”
“Hi,” you breathed, clearing your throat “I’m y/n.” You tried your best to give a good first impression, but your crimson cheeks and racing heart were not helping your case.
“Danny.” He beamed. You started to hold your hand out to him to shake, but he dismissed it. “I’m a hugger, if you’re cool with that.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s cool too.” You managed to squeak out. He took a step towards you, wrapping his arms around you. “Nice to meet you.” You told him, and you meant it. It was very nice to meet him. His cologne lingered in your nose after he pulled away. You tried not to let it affect you, but you were swooning just at the thought of his arms around you. “Sorry I didn’t wear my Sunday best, I didn’t expect to meet anyone new. I was honestly gonna come out here and tell you guys to be quiet. The bar got the best of me last night.” You laughed. “But, since you guys are cool, I’ll let it slide.”
“‘Preciate it, duck.” Sam smirked. “You’re alright, too.”
“Aw, thanks.” The sarcasm was dripping from your words. “You guys need any help?”
“Maybe an interior decorator!” Danny offered. “All our stuff is in our apartment, but we aren’t exactly experts on the decoration part.” He admitted. “I’ll treat you to lunch if you could offer some insight.” You swore you saw his cheeks turn rosy, but you ignored it, believing you must have made it up. “Well, I’ll treat you to lunch, anyway, but I could really use a second opinion up there.”
“Y-yeah!” You stuttered. “Let me go and take a quick shower. I’ll meet you up there?”
“Sure, 208.” He replied.
“Guess we’re still stuck moving everything in down here?” Sam eyed his roommate. Danny gave a shrug.
“I wasn’t gonna let the pretty lady do the dirty work. Besides, you’re doing such a great job already.”
You didn’t believe in love at first sight, but whatever you’d felt for Danny that day was the closest thing to it. At first, you thought he may have felt the same way. He always wanted to hang out, made excuses to come to your apartment to visit, and always made sure you were invited to any of the group events. He never technically stopped doing that stuff, but it had never advanced. You guys had fallen into the friendship routine, never toeing any boundaries or crossing any lines. You wished he would, though. You bent down and picked your journal up off the grass, swiping away any dirt that had accumulated on it.
“So, are we going for a swim?” Danny asked, gazing in your direction for a second too long. You felt the nervousness creep back in.
“Yeah, of course. I gotta get changed.” You turned to the cabin, Danny following closely behind. Just as you reached the door, the others tumbled outside, almost knocking you over. You stumbled backwards into Danny, but he caught you and steadied you. His large hands holding your arms made your head spin.
“Sorry!” Sam exclaimed, inspecting you to make sure you were okay. You waved him off.
“S’okay, Sammy.” You assured him, regaining your footing. He was still watching you carefully, making sure you were being honest. “It’s okay.” You repeated, reaching out and giving him a pat on the arm. “Less scary than a bear.” You two shared a chuckle before the three brothers bid a goodbye, promising they’d be back soon. The two of you continued on your way, running up the stairs and into your own rooms. You pulled out the bikini you’d packed, quickly changing out of your shorts and tank top. You’d managed to tie the strings around your neck with no issues, but were struggling with the ones around your back.
A knock sounded on the door, startling you. “You okay in there?” Danny asked through the door. You sighed, holding the cups of the top tightly to your chest.
“No, can you help?” You called him in. “I need you to tie the strings for me.” The door creaked open, slowly revealing the boy you’d been talking to. He let out a small chuckle at the sight, making his way over to you. “Just as tight as you can, please.”
“Will do,” his fingers grazed the skin on your back, causing goosebumps to raise on your arms. He took the strings and tied them together, making sure it was on securely. His palm landed on your lower back as you turned around, causing your stomach to flutter with butterflies. You turned to face him, taking in the sight before you. He was just in swim trunks, standing closer than you thought he was, with a grin plastered on his lips. Your breath caught in your throat at his exposed upper half; it was a sight you would never get used to, no matter how many times you saw him shirtless. “Ready?” He asked, fingers still lingering on you. You managed a nod.
The two of you clambered back down the stairs. He held the door open for you as you slipped on your flip-flops. “Wait!” You stopped, turning back towards him. He raised an eyebrow. “Sunscreen!” You ran back inside, grabbing the bottle from your bag and bringing it back to him. He watched you, unsure of what to do. “Put it on, silly.” You laughed. “No sunburns on my watch.” He playfully rolled his eyes, grabbing it from you and obeying. You took turns with the bottle, coating yourselves in the lotion. “Turn around.” You ordered. He did as he was told and you put some on his back, rubbing it in gently.
“You’re such a mom.” Danny poked fun at you.
“I’m not listening to everyone complain when they’re burnt and sore, later.”
“Fair enough,” He backed down “your turn.” He said once you finished, turning around and grabbing it from you. You allowed him to do the same, holding your hair out of his way. “Should be good enough.” He said, gently pulling you back around to face him. “Oh, hold on.” He squeezed a bit more on his finger. You watched with curiosity as he closed the bottle.
“I don’t think we missed-“ he raised his hand and swiped the dollop of lotion on your nose. You both broke out into a fit of giggles as you processed what he’d done. You massaged it into the bridge of your nose and over your cheeks, not finding it in you to be annoyed with him. He had a child-like humour by times that was heartwarming.
“Now we’re okay. Come on.” He grabbed your hand, leading you back outside. You shut the door behind you, letting him guide you to the water. You broke through the tree line, following the short trail to the clearing. The grass slowly transitioned into sand, which was surrounding a gorgeous body of water. The sun rays made the surface sparkle, illuminating the blue hue that looked so inviting. There was a dock with a small ‘no diving’ sign attached to it. You couldn’t see the other side of the lake, but you were assuming it wasn’t as large as it seemed upfront. There were a few other trails through the line of woods, presumably leading to other cabins in the campground. Each building was quite secluded, giving lots of privacy to the visitors. It was nice.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Danny asked from beside you, hand still in yours. You gave his a small squeeze, nodding your head.
“It’s like a whole different world compared to the city.” You sighed, kicking your shoes off. “I should come out here and write sometime.” You thought aloud, not really intending for a conversation.
“If you ever want company, you know where to find me.” He said, thumb running over the soft skin on your hand.
“As long as it’s just you,” you mumbled “the other ones are too distracting.” He laughed, letting go of you to step forward onto the beach. You followed behind him, immediately walking over to the dock. You were careful stepping on the old wood, not wanting to get a splinter. Once you made it to the end, you bargained with the thought of splinters, willing to risk one or two for the experience. You sat down, feet dangling over the edge, just barely reaching the water. You moved your legs back and fourth, getting a feel for the temperature. You looked back over your shoulder, watching Danny scale the shore, just a few feet in from the sand.
He caught your eye and you looked away quickly, your heart racing. You had a hard time not staring at him, but you didn’t want him to think you were weird. He walked over to where you were sitting, barely making a noise aside from the small splashes of water with his steps. “I thought you wanted to swim, duck?” He asked as he approached the dock. He waded into the water, coming to stand beside you. The water was shallow enough that he was only up to his navel in depth. He moved in front of you, hands reaching out and finding a home on the wood beside each of your legs.
“I’m in the water.” You reminded, pointing at your feet. He scoffed, holding back a laugh.
“I don’t think that counts.”
“Does so!” You argued.
“Come in with me.” He pleaded. You reasoned with yourself before answering.
“Is it cold?” You questioned. The water that was up to your ankles told you it wasn’t, but you were sceptical.
“No, it’s really nice. I promise.”
“Okay, but you have to stay with me, just in case.” You bargained.
“Don’t know how to swim?” He quipped, a smirk growing on his lips.
“I do! I’m just nervous. Usually I only swim in pools.” You admitted.
“Ah, whatever you say, city girl.” You responded by flipping him the middle finger. “Maybe Jake was right, we should’ve brought your life jacket.” You rolled your eyes.
“You know, maybe you should’ve went with them. I’d rather fight the bear than get bullied all day!” You both erupted into a fit of laughter again.
“Fine, I promise I won’t go too far away. I wouldn’t want a fish to get you.” He said through a giggle.
“You’re on thin ice, Wagner.” You warned. He took another step closer to you, his chest practically touching your knees. He held his arms out for you. You hesitantly scooted forward, letting him grab onto your hips. He lifted you carefully, slowly bringing you down into the water with him. You let out a sigh of relief when your feet hit the bottom. You were significantly further in than Danny, though. The bottom of your bikini top was hitting the surface of the lake.
“See, it’s not so bad.” He whispered, pulling you into him. His hands still rested on your waist, sending your stomach into knots. You were sure he could feel your pulse just from the proximity of your chests. “Right?” He mumbled, looking down at you.
“It’s not that bad,” you sighed an agreement, relaxing a bit. He smiled, leading you out further into the water.
“Float on your back.” He said, simply.
“I don’t know how to.” You admitted.
“I’ll show you.” He let go of you, taking a step away from you. His arm landed on your upper back. “Lean back, keep your legs straight.” He explained. You did as he said, easing into the water. Eventually, your legs rose a bit higher and he snaked his other arm under you, supporting your bum. You tried not to notice where his hand was, but it proved difficult. “Now keep your hips up and your legs straight. Don’t lose your posture, okay?”
“Okay.” You whispered. He held you for a moment, but slowly lowered his touch so you were floating on your own. He continued to stand next to you, making sure you knew he didn’t leave you stranded. “I’m doing it!” You exclaimed, looking at him through the corner of your eye.
“You are, duck.” He beamed down at you. “Good job.”
The afternoon was filled with aquatic adventure, but eventually dwindled into the early hours of the evening. The sun sinking slowly below the trees, but still bright enough to cast a golden glow over the earth. When the temperature started to drop, too, you and Danny made your way out of the lake, planning to retire back to the cabin. When you got out of the water, a shiver ran through you. Danny wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to him, trying to warm you up. When you got back through the trees, a billow of smoke through the air caught your attention. You continued walking to find the three other boys had returned from their hike and had lit a campfire. Jake was sitting in a chair with his acoustic guitar in his lap. Josh had a drink in his hand, face looking a bit red. You couldn’t tell if he was sunburnt or just drunk.
“Hello, lovebirds!” Sammy announced, causing you and Danny to look between each other, unsure how to respond. “Have a good swim?” He grinned.
“Shut up, Sam.” You rolled your eyes, throwing your towel on the ground to sit on it. Danny did the same, taking post next to you. The orange flames warmed you, drying any missed water droplets from your skin. “How was your hike?” You pointed the question to the twins.
“It was an extravagant exploration of the wilderness,” Josh giggled at himself. You could tell he’d been drinking for a while. You smiled at him, looking over to his brother who was picking a tune on the guitar. You hummed along with him, appreciating the sound of the song.
“Did you guys get anything to eat?” You asked. They all shook their heads. You had to hold back an eye roll, making a move to stand. “Okay. I’ll make something, then, before you all perish.” Danny looked up at you from his seat on the ground.
“Need any help?” You gave a nod, holding your hand out to help him up. The two of you disappeared back into the cabin. You raced up the stairs to grab a quick shower and get changed. You pulled on some sweatpants and a tank top, quickly brushing through your hair and meeting Danny back in the kitchen. “What are we making, duck?” He asked, standing up from the chair he’d been sitting at.
“I have no idea what they brought for food,” you laughed, walking to check the fridge. You searched, trying to find something to throw together. “Nachos, I guess?”
“Sounds good to me.” He smiled. You took out the ingredients the boys had thrown haphazardly into the fridge. The two of you cooked silently, both starving and ready to eat.
When the food was ready, you put out paper plates on the table and called everyone back inside. The meal went quickly, barely any words spoken. You were all hungry after a long day of activities. When the food was gone, you all joined forces to tidy up before going back outside. The boys all took their turns thanking you before returning back to the fireside. You grabbed a cooler from the fridge, cracking the can and taking a sip. You watched out the window for a moment, admiring the view.
Danny had started the shower upstairs, presumably wanting to wash the lake water off as badly as you’d wanted to, earlier. You went up to your room, sitting on the bed and pulling your journal out. You put your pen to the paper, wanting to write about the beautiful things you’d seen all day, the serenity of nature and the experience of being with your friends, but every word that came from you was all about the same thing; the boy who had taught you how to float today. You laughed at the memory, feeling a bit ridiculous that you were an adult and had no idea how to float on your back in the water. In a way, you were glad you didn’t, because it gave you an excuse to be close with Danny. You thought about the scene, the metaphor pouring out on paper effortlessly. He was so easy to write about, so easy to think about. He occupied your mind even when you were busy with a million other things. It was so easy being in love with Danny; it wasn’t easy, however, not knowing if he felt the same way about you. His lingering touches and affinity to be near to led you to believe he did, but he never gave any other idea that he felt that way.
If you’d known that day, when you joked about them being your new muse, that it would be so true, you never would have said it. Writers block was a distant memory now, your mind constantly begging you to write about the beautiful boy who lived just a floor above you. You’d heard about his dates, potential flings and pursuers, just the same as he’d heard about yours. You even met some of them. But, in the years that had passed since you met him, nobody you’d been with ever compared to him. You barely knew what it was like to touch him, or have him hold you. He’d never kissed you, or given you anything other than platonic love, but you knew that nobody could be better than Danny. He was a ray of sunshine, he made your day better just by knowing he existed. You were hopelessly pining after him, wishing he’d notice, but too scared to say anything to anyone.
You were broken from your thoughts when someone stepped in your room. You looked up to see the boy you’d been lost in thought about. “Hey, duckie.” He greeted, giving you a smile. The other boys never really consistently continued on with the silly nickname they’d given you all those years ago, but he did. The rest of the boys usually only called you it when they wanted to get on your nerves, or tease you, but was rare for Danny to call you by your name. You didn’t mind it, especially coming from him. “What are you writing about?”
“Just about the lake, earlier.” You replied, closing the journal and putting it beside you on the bed. He took a seat beside you.
“Care to share?” He asked. You convinced yourself he was only doing so as a formality.
“Nothing worth sharing.” You lied, looking over to meet his eyes.
“I think everything you write is worth sharing.” You felt your cheeks heat up, distracting yourself from the compliment by reaching over and taking a sip of your drink.
“Thanks, Danny.” You whispered. “Wanna head out to the fire?”
“Sure,” he said, looking a little dejected. You thought maybe he really did want to read what you had written. You promised yourself you’d show him eventually, when you worked up enough courage.
The boys were positively drunk by the time you rejoined them, laughing and signing along with Jake’s playing. You returned to your unspoken claimed spot on the ground. On the way out, Danny had grabbed his own guitar and started tuning it when he took his own seat. It didn’t take long for you to find yourself tipsy, too. You were tired, making the effects of the alcohol even stronger. You found yourself swaying to the music the boys were playing, entranced in Josh’s singing. Your eyes drifted towards Danny, watching him smile as he played, fingers dancing over the fretboard. He was beautiful, everything he did was captivating. You’d only noticed you were staring when he caught your eye, giving you a grin.
“You gonna sing us a song, y/n?” He asked. You heart sped as your name fell from his lips. It sounded so perfect coming from him.
“I mean, I can’t really compete with Josh, but I suppose I could give it a go.” You smiled. You could see the excitement dance across his face. He didn’t say anything else before he started playing again. When Jake picked up on what song he was picking, he joined in. Rhiannon. Fleetwood Mac. He remembered your favourite band. You sung along, carefree and open, not worried about how you sounded. All of the boys joined in on the chorus, laughing and belting it with you.
When the last note of the song rang out, Sam and Josh gave a round of applause, muffled by Jake and Danny’s cheers. “If you ever give up writing, we’d give you a spot in the band.” Sam laughed. You shook your head, dismissing his statement.
“No chance, Sammy. I’m just going to keep writing my silly little book and hopefully make it big, someday.”
“You’ve got four of your biggest fans right here once you do. Remember us when you’re famous.” Danny spoke now, immediately catching your attention.
“As if I could ever forget about you guys.” You said, but you directed it to him. You would never be able to leave any of them behind, but he’d always have a place in your heart, especially.
“Awww, you’re so sweet, Duck! I know you couldn’t forget about me, I’m your favourite!” Josh’s smile blinded you from across the fire.
“Of course, Josh.” You laughed.
The drinks slowly came to an end as the flames fizzled into embers. The music died off, too, all of you completely exhausted. Danny had thrown his guitar back in the case and you’d laid back, head in his lap while his fingers danced through your hair. You wished you could lay with him like this forever. Jake was picking at the strings, not with much intent. Josh was a second away from slumber, barely holding his eyes open. Sam had dozed off a few times in his chair, quite like a middle-aged dad. You were certain it was nearing midnight by now, but truly didn’t care enough to check. You closed your own eyes, just to satiate the need for sleep for a little while, not wanting the night to end.
Just as you did so, a raindrop landed on the coals of the fire, omitting a sizzle that brought you back to reality. You only had a second to realize what was happening before more were falling. Everyone sprung to action, the boys grabbing their instruments to get them inside. You gathered all of the damageable items, stuffing them into the pockets of your pants and the rest in your hands. The boys were inside by the time you collected the last of the things. The rain had picked up, now drenching your tank top. You swore under your breath as you made your way into the house, shivering and cold.
Danny was waiting for you by the door, immediately taking the stuff from your hands. “I’m sorry, duck! I wasn’t even thinking about the rest of the stuff, I just didn’t want to get the guitar wet-“
“It’s okay,” you promised, teeth still chattering.
“Here,” he placed all of the things on the ground and pulled his sweatshirt over his head, handing it to you. You took it, turning away to face the wall for a moment, slipping the wet shirt off. You pulled his sweater on, immediately feeling better. It was still warm from his body heat and it smelled like him.
“Thank you.” You sighed. The two of you joined the others in the kitchen, returning phones and wallets to the right owners. You all stood together, sharing mindless chatter and forgetting about the rainstorm for a moment. “You see, Sammy. Aren’t you so grateful for a roof, tonight?” You smirked.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Be careful, I might let one of the bears know which room is yours.” You both giggled, knowing he’d never let the joke die. “Well, I think it’s bedtime.” Sam sighed. Josh and Jake nodded, both feeling the same way. “Have a good night, everyone. I’ll make sure to wake you all at six sharp, so we don’t miss out on any festivities.” Sam announced. You rolled your eyes.
“If you show up at my door at six in the morning, you won’t be alive for any more festivities.” You warned.
“Understood.” Sam gave a salute before breaking away, heading upstairs. The twins also bid a goodnight and found their way to their own beds. You turned to look at the only other body left in the room.
“You going to bed, too?” You asked. He gave a shrug.
“Are you?”
“I’m not sure.” You said, looking around the empty kitchen. “I’m tired, but I don’t know if I’m ready to sleep yet. You don’t have to stay up with me, though.”
“I know I don’t have to.” He chuckled. “If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t.” You gave a small smile.
“Go to bed, Danny.” You gave him a gentle pat on the arm. “I’ve got a date with my journal. And by date I mean staring blankly at it until something good comes out of it.” He laughed at your words.
“You know where to find me if you need anything, then.” He replied, hand reaching out and landing on your lower back. He pulled you in for a hug, chin resting on top of your head. You held on to him, not wanting to let him go. Eventually, he broke away, leaving you wishing he’d stay. “Goodnight, duckie.” He whispered, walking out of eyesight before you could formulate a response. You sat in the kitchen, waiting until you heard his bedroom door shut, thinking about the days events. Eventually, you found yourself retiring back to your room.
You clicked on a lamp that was on the table beside the bed. It was soft, enough so you could see what you were doing, but not enough to become annoying. The rain softly puttered against the windows, inviting you in. You loved rain, the sound was so soothing and it was the perfect ambience. Your journal still rested on the bed, saving a spot for you. You slid under the covers and opened it back up. The words poured out effortlessly, continuing on with your story as if you’d never stopped in the first place. You filled the page, not taking a break until you were jolted to reality from a thunder crack outside. Your stomach churned at the sound. You tried to ignore it, but another boom and flash of light startled you again. You loved the rain, but you hated thunder, and despised lightning.
You swallowed hard, feeling a nervous tremble in your hand as you tried to keep writing. By the fifth snap of thunder, you were no longer able to focus on anything you were doing. It was a childish fear, but the loud noises were always unsettling to you, mostly because you never knew when it would happen. Counting the distance between bangs only kept you more on edge, and then the spark of light lost your focus. You climbed back out of bed, finding a bit of solace in Danny’s sweatshirt that you were wearing. You pushed the door open, creeping down the stairs, hoping you wouldn’t wake anyone. When you made it to the kitchen, you searched for a kettle, hoping that there was one in the cabin somewhere.
You stumbled across a tattered electric one, smiling in triumph. You pulled a teabag from the small sandwich bag you’d filled while packing. That was one thing you knew you couldn’t go the weekend without. The water ran quietly from the tap, filling the kettle within a few seconds. You flipped it off, searching in the dark for an outlet.
Once you plugged it in and flipped it on, you sat at the table to wait for it, focusing on the noise of the boiling water rather than the commotion outside. Your fingers drummed against the wooden table, filled with anxiety. You were calming down slightly, thinking the storm may have been dwindling to an end, but the rain started coming down harder and another sound of thunder filled the home, much stronger than the rest. A bright flash filled the windows, and the sound of the boiling water slowed to a stop. The power had gone out. Your heart was racing now, palms breaking out into a sweat. You decided the best course of action was to go back to your room and hope to fall asleep.
“Y/n?” A low voice said from the bottom of the stairwell. You jumped, whipping your head to see who it had come from.
“Oh, Danny,” you sighed, laughing gently. “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” he said, sheepishly, making his way towards you. His hair was pulled back and his shirt was off, leaving him just in a pair of sweatpants. “What are you still doing up?” He asked, but he already knew the answer. He’d never forget how much thunder bothered you.
“Ah, just couldn’t sleep.” You brushed it off.
“Thunder?” He asked.
“Yeah,” you whispered. “Powers out, too.” He was in front of you now, kneeling down so he could see your face. His hand reached out, finding your cheek. His thumb brushed over the skin, causing you to melt into the touch. The anxiety bubbled away just from him being there.
“You can come to bed with me, if you want.” He offered. You looked up at him through your lashes, unsure if he really said what you thought he did. “O-or Sam, or anyone, really.” He covered it up, quickly. “Nobody would mind.”
“I wouldn’t want to intrude.” You brushed it off.
“You’d never be intruding. I can go wake up whoever you want to stay with-“
“You, Danny.” You assured him. “I’d like to stay with you, if it’s okay.”
“Yeah, of course it is. Come on.” He stood, holding his hand out for you. You took it and he carefully guided you to his room. He let you go in first, opening the door for you. You slowly shuffled inside, turning to look at him. He chuckled at your nervousness, closing the door behind him. “I can sleep on the floor, you can take the bed.” He said pulling a pillow from the mattress. You held your hand out to stop him.
“We can both…” you trailed off, suddenly embarrassed at your words. “We can, uh, both sleep in the bed. I mean, if you’re okay with it. It’s just… it’s a big bed, there’s no need for you to sleep on the floor. If anything, I can sleep on the floor-“
“Hey,” he laughed, throwing the pillow back in its place “it’s okay, if you’re cool with it, I am too.”
“Okay, great.” You internally cringed at yourself, realizing how stupid you sounded. You watched as he climbed under the covers, not sure what to do.
“Oh, did you want me to put my shirt on?” He asked, quickly making a move to stand again.
“No, it’s okay.” You said, making a move to get in beside him. He scooted over, giving you as much room as possible. “We can put a pillow between us if it makes you more comfortable.” He laughed at your words as you both settled in.
“Don’t be ridiculous, I don’t think you have cooties.” You let out a small giggle.
“Maybe you do, though.”
“Too late for you, then. You’ve been wearing my sweater all night.” He argued. You relaxed a bit, the anxiety seeping away. You’d almost forgotten why you were in bed with him in the first place. He rolled onto his side, facing you.
“I guess so,” you sighed “I’ll never recover.”
“You poor baby,” Just as he said it, another roaring wave of thunder shook the house. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound. Without wasting any time, he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into him. You accepted the hold, shifting on your side and burying your head in his chest. He held you tightly, not even so much as considering letting you go. “It’s okay.” He whispered, rubbing your back gently. You relaxed into his touch, wrapping your arm around him and allowing him to comfort you.
“Thanks for letting me stay with you.” You mumbled. He moved the hair from your face, running his fingers through it and gently brushing out any knots.
“My pleasure, duck.” He hummed, still holding you close to him. “Who doesn’t love a good sleepover?” You gave a small laugh, mumbling an agreement. Any sleepover would be fantastic as long as it was with him. You guys fell into routine of listening to each others breathing, eventually drifting off into a slumber that was more peaceful than any you’d had before.
When the sun peaked through the curtains the next morning, it was almost like the storm had never happened. Golden rays casting over both of the bodies in the bed, showcasing that neither of you moved the whole night. You were still wrapped up in Danny’s arms, holding him closely to you. His hands had drifted downwards, hand decorating your thigh and fingers dangerously close to your ass. You were awake, the sunlight ensured that, but you wished so badly that you weren’t. You wanted to stay like this all day, sleeping next to Danny and soaking up every bit of affection you could get from him. You felt grateful for the thunderstorm last night, realizing that it was the sole reason you had the opportunity to wake up to the beautiful sight of him sleeping next to you.
You wiggled impossibly closer, gentle enough to avoid waking him. You just wanted to be surrounded by him and to never have to let go. He stirred but didn’t wake. Instead, the hand that was holding your hip tightened and pulled you closer to him. Your heart fluttered but you tried to stay calm, shoving the interaction to the back of your mind. Though, it was really hard to forget the feeling of his hand on you, burning into your skin and lighting you on fire. You tried not to think about your own fingers dancing on the bare skin of his back, how warm he was and how you wanted to lay there and trace patterns into it all day. You closed your eyes, trying to let sleep take over once more, but his heartbeat was fuelling you rather than serving as a lullaby.
Your feelings for Danny were always prominent, standing out above anything else, but in that moment they were driving you insane. You wanted nothing more than to lean up and kiss him, just to know what it felt like. You wanted him to wake up, to see you as more than the downstairs neighbour or his friend. You wanted to start your day wrapped around him like this every morning. As if the universe heard your silent plea, Danny shifted, hand never leaving you, and took a sharp inhale. You pulled your head back, looking up at his face. His eyes fluttered open, immediately looking down at you. His lips upturned into a smile which you returned without a thought.
“Good morning, duck.” He whispered, hands unmoving as if he was enjoying touching you, too.
“Morning,” you managed to muster out, eyes taking in every aspect of his features. He was doing the same, wanting to remember exactly what you looked like first thing in the morning. “Sleep well?”
“Yeah, really good.” He sighed. “You?”
“Me, too.” You said, making a move to turn on your back. He kept his hand on you as you moved, not letting you get too far away.
“Storm didn’t bother you too much?”
“No,” you tried to ignore the nervousness brewing in the pit of your stomach. “Felt pretty safe in here with you.”
“I was hoping you would.” You both fell back into silence, his thumb teetering just underneath the hem of your shirt, scared to push his luck. You laid still, hoping maybe he would understand that you were far from complaining about the contact. You were too scared to give any encouragement, afraid that you may have been getting the wrong idea from the encounter.
“Probably should get up, see what everybody else is doing.” You breathed, looking towards him but making no effort to leave.
“I really don’t care what they’re doing.” He admitted.
“Me, either.” You laughed. “I could stay here all day.”
“What’s stopping you?” He asked, suddenly finding enough courage to slip his hand just under your sweater, now letting it dance over the soft skin that lie beneath. Your breath caught in your throat, eyes looking for some sign of joking in his expression.
“Nothing,” You said. “We are on vacation, aren’t we?” He gave a nod, a smile creeping onto his face. “Staying in bed all day is more than acceptable.” He wasted no time pulling you back towards him, rolling on his back as he did so. You let out a giggle at his suddenness, his arms wrapping around you as he pulled you on top of him.
“I was hoping you’d say that.” He sighed, his grip now falling to your lower back. Your head found its place in the crook of his neck, hand resting on his chest. “I didn’t want to say it last night, but I was really hoping you wanted to stay with me, and not one of the other guys.”
“Why is that, Daniel?” Your anxiety was melting away, knowing he wanted you there just as much as you wanted to be there.
“I think you know why, y/n.” His tone was completely serious, no hidden implications behind his words.
“I don’t think I do.” You whispered. You pulled back from him to look at his face. His eyes were watching you carefully, looking to see if you were being honest.
“Come on, duck, you really have no idea?” You shook your head, waiting for him to continue. “I love you.” He almost laughed at his own words.
“I love you too, Danny.” You told him, your heart racing.
“No, like I really love you. I’m in love with you.” He said, clarifying even further.
“Yeah,” you breathed. “I am, too.” He didn’t move, still continuing to watch you to ensure you weren’t joking. “Last night when you asked what I was writing about, I was writing about you.” You laughed. “That’s why I didn’t want to show you. I didn’t want to make it weird.”
“So you’re telling me I’m your muse?” He smirked, cockiness radiating from him. “Sam’s going to be pissed. He was really hoping you’d make him a superhero.”
“He’s not cool enough to be a superhero, I just don’t have the heart to tell him yet.” You both laughed, feeling the weight of the world being lifted off your shoulders. “How long have you felt like this?” You asked, curiosity getting the best of you.
“I mean, I’ve always thought you were pretty. When we were moving in and I asked you to come upstairs and help me, I just wanted an excuse to get to know you, and take you out to eat.” He explained. “I guess I never realized I was really in love with you until we started touring. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and I was always a little bit jealous if I heard you on the phone with the other guys. Then I knew I was really in pretty deep.”
“You never said anything.”
“I was scared,” he finally broke the eye contact. “I mean, we all practically live together, we’re all friends, I was scared of risking it all.” You felt like screaming. Years of repressed feelings and emotions were flooding you all at once, angry with yourself that you never got the nerve to be honest with him. “I think that this morning I realized I had to tell you, because I want to wake up next to you every day.” He chuckled.
“Me too, Danny.” You rushed out. “I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.” You felt your cheeks turn red.
“So love at first sight, then.” He teased. “I guess we were both pretty stupid.”
“Yeah,” you practically scoffed. He didn’t let you say another word, because he was pulling you forward into a kiss. You thought maybe you should pinch yourself, just to make sure it wasn’t some grandly fabricated dream you’d wake up disappointed to. You didn’t care, though, because even if it was a dream, it was the best one you’d ever had. He gently pulled your bottom lip between his teeth, causing a small moan from you. You shifted your position without breaking from his lips, moving your legs on either side of him. Both of his hands immediately shot to your hips, wanting to make sure you knew that your new position was very welcomed.
One of your palms fell flat on his chest, holding you up. The other cupped his cheek, holding his face to yours. Eventually, you pulled away to catch your breath, head spinning and chest burning with desire. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He smiled at your words, pushing you down a little towards his legs so he could sit up. His back rested against the headboard of the bed. He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, wanting to see your face.
“We’ve got all the time in the world, now.” He gently brought your lips back to his. The kiss was sweet, filled with love and even better than you had ever imagined it. You were desperate for more, no patience left from waiting so long. He deepened the kiss, more than likely feeling the exact same way. It didn’t take long for it to become messy, both of you grasping at each other, frantic to know everything about the undiscovered parts of each others bodies. You could feel his erection pressing into your heat, causing your arousal to grow even more. “Can I take this off?” He asked, pulling at the bottom of your sweater. His face was barely parted from yours, just enough so he could get the words out. You gave a small nod, lifting your arms so he could pull it off for you. He threw it to the floor, eyes raking over your naked upper half. His mouth moved down to your neck, nipping and biting at the soft skin. When he found a particularly sensitive spot, his attention rested there, sucking gently. You rocked your hips forward into him without intent, begging for some friction. “Needy,” he smiled against your neck.
“Been waiting for this for a long time,” you sighed, a hint of a whine in your tone.
“It’s okay, baby, you can have me. Just have to be patient.” He assured you, his hand reaching to cup one of your breasts. “Have to appreciate you first.” The pad of his thumb brushed over your hardened nipple, sending a rush of pleasure straight to your core. He pinched it gently, rolling it between his fingers and watching your reaction. Your eyes settled on his face, a pleading look instilled in them. You saw his jaw clench. He wanted the foreplay to continue but he wanted you just as bad as you wanted him.
He flipped you over, settling you on your back without a word. He tapped your thigh, silently letting you know he wanted you to lift your hips. You did as he wanted and he pulled off your pants, throwing them in the steadily growing pile of clothes on the floor. You watched him as you laid back on the bed, still forcing yourself to believe it was real life. His hair was still pulled back into a bun, some pieces falling out here and there. His eyes still looked tired, but his expression showed that he was wide awake and fully invested in the moment. “Seeing you like this is way better than anything I’ve imagined before.” He whispered, lips trailing over your bare stomach, sucking marks into the skin just above your panty line.
“So you’ve imagined me like this before?” You tried to sound confident, but your voice was shaky and gave you away immediately. His mouth moved to your hip, gently sinking his teeth into you. You let out a noise of surprise at the feeling.
“You haven’t?” You could hear the smirk in his voice; you didn’t even have to look at him to know.
“Maybe once or twice,” you admitted. He was right, this was much better than any of the dreams or fantasies you’d had about it. The feeling of his mouth on you was intoxicating. He pulled back from you, moving to rest on his knees. He made a move to take off your underwear, which you happily helped him with. You could see how hard he was through his sweatpants; the sight alone was driving you crazy. Once he had you fully naked, he slipped an arm underneath your hips, then roughly flipped you over onto your belly.
“You okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, more than okay.” You assured him.
“Let me know if you want me to stop, or if I do anything you don’t like, okay?” You nodded. “I need to hear you say it.”
“I will, baby.” You promised. He started back at the top of your body, lips brushing over your shoulders, making their way down to the dip in your back. His large hand became quite familiar with your ass, fingers squeezing it ever so slightly. He pulled back again, just long enough to deliver a sharp slap to the same spot his hand had been just a moment before. You gasped, not expecting the sudden change in his demeanour. He leaned down and placed a small kiss where he’d left the stinging red mark.
He moved his hand between your legs, fingers slowly running through your wetness.
“All this for me, sweet girl?” Hearing such a pet name coming from his mouth was enough on its own to warrant an orgasm. His fingers explored further, almost immediately landing on your clit. He knew he’d hit the right spot when a moan fell from your lips. His index finger circled there a few times, allowing some relief for you. “You want it so bad, don’t you?” You hummed a response, but he pulled his hand away from you completely. “Use your words.” He ordered.
“Y-yeah, I do, Danny. So bad.” You stuttered, taken aback. You definitely didn’t expect him to be as dominant as he was being. His usual sweet personality has seemed to vanish completely.
“That’s what I thought.” He resumed his slow pace at your clit, enough to give you some pleasure but not enough to get you off. He was driving you crazy. He continued on at that speed for only a short while before he removed his hand again, grabbing your hips and pulling them up off the bed. “M��sorry baby, I can’t wait any longer.” He shuffled back to his knees, pulling his pants down just enough to free his cock. He spit on his hand, stroking himself for a second before pushing into you, letting out a sigh of relief at the feeling.
He used his hands on your hips to pull you back on him as he thrusted into you, hitting your cervix hard on every re-entry. Each time you let a moan out, letting him know he was doing a good job. His fingers were digging into you more with every movement, and your were certain there would be perfect, fingers shaped bruises to remind you of him. One of his hand slipped up to your hair, balling it in his fist and pulling your head back. He leaned down, moving your head to the side so he could kiss you while he fucked you. You whimpered into his mouth, which in turn caused him to grip your hair even tighter. “Being such a good girl for me.” He muttered as he pulled away. The praise began to form a knot in your belly, desperate for a release.
He removed his hand from your hair, slipping it under you, reaching down to your bundle of nerves again. The combined feeling of him inside you and the stimulation on your clit was making your head spin. The burning in the pit of your stomach was growing by the second. It didn’t take him long to catch on, your ragged breathing and string of moans served as a strong indication of your impending orgasm. “Danny, I’m gonna-“
“No, you’re not.” He cut you off.
“I-I can’t-“
“Don’t,” he warned. “Not yet.” He didn’t slow his pace, making it even harder for you to control yourself. Your noises of pleasure became more erratic, informing him that you couldn’t stop it. He pulled out immediately, moving his fingers, too. You let out a whine, almost in pain at the loss of contact. You were panting, legs shaking underneath you. Without really thinking, you reached your hand down to your cunt, trying to find some relief. He noticed, grabbing your hand before you could get anywhere. “I told you no, baby.” He was taunting you, hoping you’d beg for him. Little did he know he didn’t have to ask for that. You’d been desperate for him for years, all of it finally coming out now.
“Please, Danny. I need it so bad.” Your head was still down on the bed, not willing to move and look him in the eyes. A gentle hand ran down your ass, fingertips trailing down the back of your thigh. The light tickle was enough to sent a jolt of electricity through your body.
“How bad, baby?” He breathed. His voice was low, dripping with emotion. You had to commend him for his self control. He stood now, fully taking off his pants. He walked to the side of the bed, looking down at you.
“So bad,” you whined. “Can’t wait any longer. Please, please fuck me.” He grabbed your hair again, pulling your head up gently to look at him. He gave you a small, reassuring smile, just so you knew he wasn’t going to push you too far. As soon as he was certain you’d seen it, it disappeared.
“You sound so pretty when you beg for me.” He took your face in his hand, making you keep the eye contact with him. He leaned down, placing a kiss on your lips. You made a move to sit up, sitting on the edge of the mattress to face him. You took the time to admire him, now, finally getting the full view of him. The usual sweetness in his eyes were replaced with a dark look, one that sent a shiver down your spine. A good one, but still a feeling you’d never had from him before. He almost held a scowl on his features, for lack of better description. But it wasn’t hateful; it was authoritative, and it was turning you on more by the second.
His cock was eye level with you, head red and glistening with pre-cum. Your mouth was watering at the sight, curious to know what he tasted like. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, giving him a sweet look before leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. You realized that he was much bigger than you’d anticipated, confidence slightly diminishing. You gripped him at the base, stroking the bottom half that couldn’t fit in your mouth. He let out a groan, watching you suck him off with nothing short of adoration. You took as much of him in your mouth as you could, slacking your jaw and relaxing your throat. He took it as an invitation, slowly thrusting in time with the bobbing of your head. He wasn’t being aggressive, wanting you to know you had the freedom to stop him if it got too much.
When you enthusiastically continued, he did, too. His fist found your hair again, holding your head in place while he fucked your mouth. He didn’t push you past your limit, but certainly tested it. When his hips stuttered slightly, you knew he was getting close to his orgasm. You didn’t care, wanting him bad enough that you’d let him finish wherever and however he wanted to. He pushed your head down on him as he pushed himself down your throat, causing you to gag, tears forming in your eyes. You felt him twitch in your mouth, wondering if he would stop or just finish right there. The noises and profanities that were slipping from his mouth were heavenly. Just when you thought he might cum, he pulled back from you completely. His breathing was heavy, jaw clenched and eyes a little sex-crazed.
“Up,” he ordered. You scrambled to your feet, still trying to process his quick withdrawals. He seemed to want you everywhere, in any way he could have you. You weren’t complaining, feeling the exact same way. You dreamt of having him like this so many times, and now that you did, you wanted him to have you in any way he pleased. He laid on the bed, looking to you. “Come here.” He held his arm out, motioning for you to join him. You moved towards him, climbing on top of him and straddling his waist. As you were lining yourself up with him, he held your hips, stopping you from going any further. He roughly pulled you upwards, catching you off guard. You caught his eyes, finally understanding what he wanted; He wanted you to sit on his face.
“Danny, I don’t know-“ his hand lifted to your face, gently brushing over your flushed cheeks.
“It’s okay, if you don’t want to, we don’t have to.” He assured you. The nervousness fizzled away.
“I just… I don’t want to hurt you or anything.” He let out a chuckle.
“Baby, I’m asking you to. If you hurt me by sitting on my face, I think I’d be very proud of that injury.” There was no tone of sarcasm or humour in his words. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay, but if you’re worried about me, don’t be.” His voice was firm, assuring you he was more than okay with the situation.
“Okay.” You whispered. He guided you upwards, settling his head between your legs. His hands were firmly planted on your ass as you hovered over his mouth. “I’ve never done this before.” You admitted.
“If you want me to stop, I will.” He said. You weren’t looking at him but you knew the sincerity was pooling in his eyes. He would never say that without meaning it. “Are you okay with this?” He asked again. His earlier aura of dominance had faltered. It was just Danny, as sweet as he’d always been. He always made you feel safe.
“Yeah, I am.” You replied. Once he heard your answer, he pulled you down onto his mouth. A gasp of surprise sounded from you, but it was quickly replaced with a cry of pleasure. You had to silence yourself, biting down on your lip. He was quick to the point, fucking you with his tongue. Your anxiety dissipated almost as soon as his tongue was on you, completely replaced with pleasure. His movement was fast, working at you like he had been dreaming of having you like that forever. Your hips involuntarily rocked into his movements.
The tip of his nose brushed against your clit, driving you closer to your orgasm. You let out a whine, knuckles gripping the blankets on the bed. He moved upwards, focusing his attention there and slowing his speed. The burning in your belly that had been building seemed to remain steady, the feeling radiating through every nerve in your body. It didn’t take long for your breathing to become ragged and your muscles to tense. Your moans were frantic, the heat of his mouth and the strokes of his tongue were heavenly for such a sinful activity. “Danny, m’gonna cum.” You whimpered. He hummed against you, encouraging you. His grip tightened on your ass, holding you down on his face. Within a few seconds, you hit your peak, unravelling and calling out his name. Your legs were shaking, knuckles turned white from your hold on the fistfuls of blankets. He rode you through it, slowly stopping his movements as he gently lifted you off of him.
“How was that, baby?” He breathed, looking up at you.
“S’good,” you sighed. He tapped your ass with his hand and you raised yourself up, freeing him without moving from where you were. He guided you back down his body, stopping you when you were over his hips. He didn’t give you any warning before he grabbed his cock in his hand and brought you down on him. The feeling of him inside you again was blissful. The feeling of him under you was, too. You started slowly, wanting to savour the moment. He allowed it for a few seconds, wanting that, too.
After a minute, he used a hand to pull you down to kiss him. He took the opportunity to fuck you at his own speed, hips raising from the bed and slamming into you. You moaned into his mouth, only making him fuck you harder. His tip was hitting your cervix, causing a pleasurable pain to shoot through you. You sat up again, riding him as he fucked into you. He had a hand on your hip and reached his other one up to cup your tit, grabbing your nipple and pinching it. You used one of your hands to rub circles into your clit. He was watching you carefully, soaking up every expression.
“Look so good riding me,” he mumbled, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You clenched around him, letting out a small gasp. “You’re my little whore, aren’t you?” He murmured. Your breath caught in your throat, looking down at him with wide eyes. Your orgasm was building again, pushing you closer with every move of his hips. Your fingers on your clit never slowed, desperate for another one. “Answer me.” He snapped.
“Y-yeah, I am,” You groaned. His eyes burned into you expectedly. You weren’t sure what exactly he wanted, but you had an idea. “Daddy.” you whispered. His jaw clenched, eyes rolling back in his head at the sound. You’d never pegged him for the type, but once you’d started fucking, you slowly started to realize there was a whole other side to him you knew nothing about.
“That’s my girl.” He was throbbing, also painfully close to his climax. “Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” He asked, voice faltering. He was barely holding back. Your fingers sped, not worried about holding on either. You nodded your head, but he wanted an answer. His hand on your hip moved, snaking behind you and landing a sharp slap on your ass.
“Yes, daddy, I am.” You moaned. With another thrust you came hard, palm planted on his chest so you wouldn’t fall over. “Fuck!” You cried. He wasn’t long finishing, pulling you down on his cock and staying buried in you.
“Oh fuck, y/n.” His eyes screwed shut, head falling back on the bed as he spilled into you. You collapsed on top of him, both sweaty and panting. His fingers danced over your back, tracing small patterns into your exposed skin. His lips found the top of your head, placing a sweet kiss on there. You melted into him, wishing you could stay like that with him forever.
Eventually, he helped you off of him, ordering you to lay back while he got something to clean you up with. When he returned, he wiped you off and pulled you in for a kiss. You savoured it, finally realizing that everything that happened was, in fact, real life. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, grabbing one of his shirts from his bag and handing it to you. You sat up and slipped it on. You both stood, gathering your pants from the ground. “That was fantastic.” You told him. A smile graced his lips.
“You are fantastic.” He said, pulling you into a hug. “I wish I could start every morning like that.” He sighed. You let out a giggle.
“Me, too.”
“You want to go find something to eat?” He asked. You gave a nod, making a move for the door. He grabbed your hand before you could leave the room, pulling you back to look at him. “I was also wondering, maybe, if you’d want to be my girlfriend?” A blush rose to his cheeks. You grinned, barely comprehending how he’d just had sex with you like that and was nervous to ask you to be his girlfriend. It was adorable.
“Yeah, Danny. I’d really like that.” His smile grew, too, as he pulled you in for another kiss. “Now let’s go get breakfast. We can see if the boys are still alive.” He kept his hand in yours as you both went downstairs. Nobody was in the kitchen when you got there, so you both went to work, finding something suitable to eat. In midst of cooking, the front door opened. You both turned to see Sam stumbling in. He immediately looked between both of you, raising an eyebrow. “Good morning,” you greeted.
“Glad to see you’ve both decided to join the rest of the world.” He said, making his way to the table. He took a seat before he spoke again. “I went to wake you up this morning only to find your bed empty. I thought that bear you’d been talking about really did get you.” He let out a disapproving tsk. “Turns out it was just Danny.” You felt heat rise to your face, knowing Sam knew exactly where you ended up last night.
“Yeah, I stayed with him last night. Thunder storm, couldn’t sleep.” You explained.
“Uh-huh,” Sam nodded, a mischievous smile on his face. “Josh and Jake went to check out the water earlier. I stayed back to wait for you both. Realized I would be waiting for a while, so I was forced to explore outside a little bit.” Your stomach dropped, realizing he’d heard you both this morning. You wanted to shrivel up and die.
“Shut up, Sam.” Danny dismissed him, seeing you were embarrassed.
“What! I’m happy you guys finally made a move. It was getting a little unbearable watching you two.” He laughed. You rolled your eyes, still cringing at the whole interaction. “Care to share some breakfast with the poor soul who had to listen?” You hid your face in your hand, wanting nothing more than to run away.
“Go and join your brothers,” Danny was holding back a laugh while he shoo’d him away. Sam raised his hands in defence, standing.
“Fine, I see how it is.” He stalked towards the door. “Oh, y/n?” He asked as his hand reached towards the knob. You looked to him, annoyed that he’d only come inside to poke fun at you.
“What, Sam?” You asked, knowing he wouldn’t let it go.
“Glad to see you really are enjoying the camping trip, after all.” He giggled to himself. You groaned.
“Never going to live this down, am I?” You muttered. He opened the door, taking a step outside.
“Never.” He assured you. He shut the door behind him, leaving you and Danny by yourselves again. You could tell he was trying to hold back from laughing.
“I wasn’t that loud, was I?” You asked. He looked to you from the corner of his eye.
“Um, no, I wouldn’t say so.” He tried to comfort you. You could tell he was lying.
“Danny! Why wouldn’t you say anything?” You smacked his arm. He gave a chuckle and a shrug.
“It was way too hot for me to tell you to be quiet.” You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t find it in yourself to be mad at him.
“So you just subjected me to a life full of torment?” You couldn’t help but smile, too.
“I think it was well worth it.” He pulled you into him, lips landing on yours once again. As annoyed as you were, you couldn’t help but agree. You were certain everyone in the world could hate you, but if Danny was by your side, it wouldn’t matter. You would take a lifetime worth of bullying from Sam, because you finally had the one thing you’d wanted so badly for so many years. Hell, you were even thankful for the bugs, and the bears, and especially the thunderstorm, because it landed you there with him, making breakfast and wearing his clothes, as his girlfriend.
#danny gvf#danny wagner#greta van fleet#gvf fic#jake kiszka#sam gvf#gvf#sam kiszka#jake gvf#josh gvf#gvf fandom#gvf imagine#gvf smut#gvf fluff#gvf x reader#danny wagner imagine#danny wagner smut#greta van fleet imagine#greta van fleet fic#greta van fleet fluff#my fic#writing#builtbybrokenbells
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Okay, this is gonna be a long one because I got a HELL of a lot to say on this matter;
It's a shame because nobody who has actually interacted with him has a bad word to say about him. The negative portrayal of him being peddled by 'notajikookers' here is a shipper/anti invention and doesn't line up with what people who actually know him or have met him say.
I know he's not flawless and people close to him will see him at his worst because none of us are perfect but everyone from his close social circle to his peers to random fan reports and encounters not only speak well of him but are VISIBLY and obviously fond of him, proud of him and endeared by him. (The proof is in the pudding even in official content but I guess we're supposed to believe that every single person he surrounds himself with is an Oscar worthy actor giving Oscar worthy performance 24/7 🙄)
And this has been the takeaway from people who met the group before they were even famous. One notorious story is of him meeting a granny before BTS even released their first song and she found him so polite and endearing that she supported the group long afterwards and even tried to get her grandsons into their music.
And those who have met him talk about him the same way she did. The takeaway from most people is that Taehyung is polite, funny and charming but we're supposed to entertain the opinions of people with UNs like jic_oo_k666 because they conveniently have a bad feeling about him while watching a BTS Run episode and these morons expect us to ignore the fact that this also conveniently validates and soothes their own ship insecurity and anxiety? 🙄
This is a guy who, as a kid and while experiencing the overwhelming pressure of global fame, praise, criticism and the stresses of overworking---suffered through a rally of traumatic losses, grief and experiences and the resulting impact on his mental health and STILL turned into a man that is perceived so positively and warmly by those who know him. That speaks volumes about his character.
Because at one point, it felt like every time we clicked a button we were hearing about another loss in Tae's life. Like he was going THROUGH it and still getting up and doing his job only to have certain 'fans' reward him with death threats, insults and taunts about his departed grandmother
Between shitty life circumstances, a shitty company and shitty 'fans'---there's enough there that could have broke him and turned him bitter but it speaks volumes about his personality that when the shit hit the fan, the people closest to him WANTED to gather around him, wanted to support him, wanted to comfort him, wanted to put a smile on his face, wanted to reinforce how much he was loved and how proud of him they were, they wanted to see him come out the other side. Why would they be so damn concerned and so clearly invested in him feeling better and trying to lift him up and build up his confidence if he was such a negative presence in their lives? Answer is; they wouldn't, dumbasses. Like the group litter the ground with context clues and these fools are too dumb, lazy or envious to bend to pick ONE up.
There was one episode (I think it was a Run episode but I might be wrong) where Taehyung really enjoys a rich, flavored meal so much he cant stop eating it and Hobi is inexplicably happy about it and excitedly lets the others know how much Tae likes it and Jin jumps on a promise to recreate it for him whenever he wants and this is just a throwaway part of the episode but it's significant because it was coming off the end of Tae's period of depression (that he has revealed himself so that's the only reason Im talking about it) and if you've ever had or known someone going through that shit, you know that physical and sensory numbness is a symptom of depression that can fuck with your appetite and enjoyment of things and it's usually a good sign of healing when you start enjoying simple stuff like flavors, scents etc again.
(Looking back at that moment after Tae had spoken openly about depression, it made a lot more sense why Hobi and Jin would react that way over something so simple as Taehyung enjoying a meal)
Like I just have no patience with people who question the bond between any of the guys because you can find so many of these 'side' moments, where it's clearly not scripted or intended to be part of the content, that show that these 7 men genuinely care about each other. They were so damn happy and excited to see him enjoying the taste of his meal and people STILL want to question whether the group relationship dynamic is real or not.
Another example is when they're rating themselves and their achievements for the year and Tae rates himself super low and Namjoon makes a point of boosting his confidence and cuddling him (for all you morons who want to talk shit about Joon disliking Tae like Joon hasn't done more than enough over the years to preemptively shut your asses up on that point)
Like you insecure ship heads really think it's cameramen giving Joon a countdown to fucking cuddle in that moment? 🤡 And that he's not just doing it because Tae is someone that he loves and doesn't want to see beating up on himself and thinks he's worthy of feeling better about himself?
People don't respond like that if the person in question is all of the negative things 'fans' accuse Tae of being---or any other member of being.
These haters and antis need to use their damn brain matter for once in a while.
The people who meet Taehyung like him and love him for a reason. The people on the damn street who meet him root for him for a reason. People who are at the top of their own professions and have their own stardom like him and love him for a reason. His group members want to protect him, defend him, care for him, comfort him, heal him etc for a reason and it's not because he's the horrible person that shippers and antis make him out to be.
Taehyung isn't your problem. The fact that you're parasocially invested in a ship that you don't genuinely feel is validated enough for you to believe in wholeheartedly is why you haters need to create a false personality for Taehyung to excuse all the things in your ship that YOU can't make sense of. You need someone to blame because your asses can't ship right ---because if you really believed in your ship you wouldn't have a problem with any of the other members 'getting in the way' by just being there and doing shit the group has done since day one
Learn to ship correctly and leave Taehyung TF alone, losers.
Hi anon!
Now this is the kind of essay I love to find in my asks!
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Trusting In Your Inner Change
One thing that rlly used to fuck me up when I would attempt to shift states is seeing the “opposite” even after I changed my internal dialogue.
I would be so upset because I mean it when I say I rlly would not ruminate on a circumstance. It would be times when i would really forget about 100% and not think about it. I would not be in my head thinking about how i’m gonna manifest it away or anything like that yet it would still be there in my 3D and sometimes worse…
Then to make matters worse I would go on twitter and see threads about “if you’re still seeing the opposite it’s because you’re identifying with it somehow” and be so confused and feel like shit because yeah there’s truth to that but also.. bro… i’m so serious when I say that I really would not be thinking or dwelling on these circumstances at all… like at all… it would just make me feel like shit.
I would pick my mind apart trying to find what went wrong and why that shit is still there and would feel discouraged because it’s like “okay…. i don’t think about it like that during the day at all.. so even if i do do all this what’s to say that it’ll go away completely”…
Then after a while I just decided to start being stubborn about my inner change. Meaning that even if it looks like nothing is working and everything is spiraling out of control and problems are only getting worse, I still remain faithful to my new assumptions and don’t spiral everytime I see something “bad” and assume that that means i’m not doing it right.
Seeing the opposite would rlly trip me up and make me believe all my progress is for naught because i’m doing something wrong and I must not be on the right path if the opposite is STILL persisting in my 3D… like right now as I write this post actually…
But… I decided to tell myself that as soon as I shift states the 3D instantly conforms. It may not be in the way i expect, but judging after appearances is controlling the How.
Sure things may look bad,, and sure I may get really anxious looking at some things and feel like they’re never gonna change.. but telling myself that everything is going according to plan makes me feel way better and less anxious and helps me stay on the right path as opposed to the constant starting over when I would feel like im doing something wrong when i would see “the opposite”.
Maybe this “bad” thing is simply apart of the bridge of incidents to take me to my desire which I assume is the case anyway since the world has to match my assumption of self.
I know my assumption of self inside is lovely as illustrated by the euphoric feeling i feel everytime i re enter the state and fulfill myself ((for fun)) so i choose to let that be my validation and basis of progress as opposed to what the 3d shows me.
I know better than anyone how frustrating it feels to really be doing the work but the 3D shows you the opposite and i know better than anyone how isolating and infuriating it is when everyone just assumes it’s because you’re still ruminating on the old story inside and haven’t shifted states when sometimes you really have forgot about it all along and don’t think about it as much.
Be stubborn about your change. Put your foot down. say NO, I HAVE CHANGED. If your name is X but someone calls you Z, you’re not gonna ransack your brain and wonder why they’re calling you that and gaslight yourself into believing that they’re calling you that because you identified with that name somewhere along the lines.
Maybe, instead of the circumstance showing up because you identified with it, it’s popping up because it’s a part of the bridge of incidents.
Trust in that as opposed to undermining all your growth and inner work. Don’t let your very real inner change be undermined and questioned just because of what the 3D says. Trust in self not the mirror. Don’t let the mirror tell you you’re something you say you’re not.
You know who you are inside. Trust everything is working out exactly as it should even if it’s painful at times. Trust everyone is playing their roles exactly as they should.
In any case that’s all I have to share today. I shared this because I just saw something rlly annoying in the 3D. Hope this helps 🫡
#law of assumption#loa#law of attraction#manifestation#master manifestor#manifesting#shifting#neville goddard#4d reality#3d reality
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WAIT I WAS SPAMMING MARIUS TO INTERACT WITH HIM IN VISIT FOR FUN AND HE SAID “my brother used to buy me clothes. he had a better sense of fashion than me” (or something v similar to this, I got the intimacy level up screen half way through) and I’m like AGH the angst, he even took marius on shopping trips 😭 😭 😭 maybe marius buys clothes based on what giann would pick 😭
WAHHHH yes thats one of my favorite lines from his regular interactions!!! i love how it gives a glimpse of marius and giann's relationship, even if it's a very mundane detail. theres two things i wanna say about this though
1 ) while the line seems to be nostalgic in a way, i also like the implication/thematic tie in that marius growing out of his brother's shadow (even if the circumstances that Led to this happening are less than ideal)
like, theres several stories that show that other people saw marius as lesser or as somebody simply in his brother's shadow and not a person himself. but among marius' key story themes methinks is individuality and carving out his own identity for himself and expressing that identity while bound to a world that is so strict about how he "must" present himself
(sidenote: this is an incredibly queercoded theme to me and i mean that genuinely! the radical decision to be himself against all the "norms" of what the society surrounding him wants him to be!)
(sidenote 2: marius actually shares this theme with vyn a LOT. royal expectations and high class expectations. except that vyn made the radical decision to leave, which is in itself still a valid and worthwhile expression of his individuality. also vyn chose a new name for himself that is so lgbt of him)
so yeah, while giann was the one taking care of marius' clothes (and thus, in a way, marius' image) (though this doesnt strike me as a bad thing, more just in an overbearing protective caring older brother sense) (i hc giann has a lot of guilt in failing marius during their childhoods so he overcompensated in a lot of ways and maybe one of the ways was HEY MARIUS LET'S GO SHOPPING)—SORRY IM GETTING OFF TOPIC. anyway while giann was the one buying clothes in the beginning, that obviously is no longer the case now. so much like the other spheres of marius' life, he needs to employ his individuality in this smaller mundane way as well.
so while i think marius does, every once in a while, buy some clothes because it was what giann would pick, i think he does this out of nostalgia and out of how much he misses giann. not because the image giann had helped him make is one he necessarily fully and only ascribes to. i think marius by and large chooses his own clothes based on his own tastes and identity that he has now made for himself
and i think hes done a pretty good job! marius' outfits are AWESOME. quick shoutouts to my favorite outfits of his:
(sidenote 3: i know that last one, the pink denim jacket one, had POLARIZED audiences but sue me i personally love it jHVKJHSDF i think it is so fun and so campy and pink suits him well)
ANYHOO the second thing i wanna bring up is
2 ) IM SO CURIOUS AS TO WHAT GIANN'S FASHION SENSE IS
i know many many of us have seen giann's sprite already from the cn server bday 3 card of marius, but that sprite showed him in a very formal outfit. i wanna know what his casual day to day fashion sense is like. is it soft cardigans core? something more streetwear? dark academia? JVSKFJHDVFS
i personally think his fashion sense would be in a perpetual state of smart casual. i have no basis for this, this is just me going off of vibes.
thanks for the ask!!
#tears of themis#marius von hagen#tot marius#lu jinghe#asks#anon#i should write an analysis on all the queercoded themes i see in each nxx boy....beCAUSE THEY ALL HAVE AT LEAST ONE
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while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.
(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)
so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.
(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)
i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.
ok cutting 4 length
the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)
but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.
and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)
and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.
oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this
just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:
>:| got distracted again. by this.
anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.
and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)
i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.
(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)
i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.
but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.
tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?
yeah. yeah, i really do. lol
anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.
and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:
and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.
he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.
anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.
bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.
anyway
im just going to roll back to robin 183 now
jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:
does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.
anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.
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omori headcanons: the brothers
hero:
when he was little, he used to tutor kel quite frequently. kel would keep all his notes from previous years for kel to use, and often didnt have much downtime on weekdays because of it. he didn't mind, though, he just wanted to make sure kel was doing well in school and enjoyed spending time with his little brother
he also didn't really have many friends his age aside from mari, choosing to spend his time studying if he wasn't running errands or hanging out with the rest of the gang. he also had a hard time making new friends, feeling the connection he already had with the gang could never be beaten out, therefore he never tried
when mari died, his grades suffered and he hardly passed that year. it unfortunately docked some of his chances for college, but didn't end up affecting him too badly
he went into college to become a pediatric psychologist, 'inspired' by mari's death to try his best to help anyone else who might've been under the same circumstances
when faced with The Truth, he freezes and ends up leaving the hospital immediately. he stayed home for the next couple weeks, and once he was mildly able to function again, he tried his best to get back into his work and college.
he does not hate sunny after the truth, however he tries to speak to sunny as little as possible after, still clearly affected. maybe after 5-10 years they would reconnect, but it would definitely take a while for hero to get into a stance where he feels like he can personally be ok talking to sunny
he goes on to be a psychologist for a few years after graduating before completely changing his career path and becoming a chef !
personally, i dont see hero dating again. i know its not very realistic, as someone's probably gonna get over soemthing that happened in their childhood like 20-30 years down the line but still.... im heromari forever ok... and if theres no mari then there's no one else for him /j
kel:
when he was younger, he was very active and had loads of constant energy. (he's 100% the hyperactive side of adhd) he did lots of sports and was actually pretty good at most sports with how frequently he played them, but his personal favorite was basketball. he is also an extremely sound sleeper, often using so much energy that he crashing towards the end of the day
he always had long hair since his parents could never get him to sit down for a haircut, he was just entirely uninterested and didnt like having someone touch his hair so much. when he got slightly older he got his hair cut relatively short, realized he liked longer hair, and kept growing it out and only getting occasional trims
he didnt spend too much time around the sporty kids, feeling that they were a little too rugged, so the gang was pretty much the only friends he hung out with outside of school
he struggled a lot at school, not because he's dumb, but because of the way everything was taught. he had a hard time grasping a lot of concepts, which is why hero tutored him so much. with hero's explanation and unique view of subjects he was able to understand things a lot better and keep his grades up around B's
however, when hero went to college, kel's grades and mental health suffered. kel was ALWAYS around hero, and even when things were bad, like when mari died, they were still together. now his friend group has broken apart, his brother is leaving, and he's even more unfocused than ever. he started taking basketball more seriously, knowing his height qualified him, and it was pretty much the only thing he was good at now
he hoped if he was good enough at basketball then his parents wouldn't be mad, that he'd still have something to show them at the end of the day, that he's not useless.
he talked more with the sporty kids, but didnt really enjoy himself, forming more surface level connections than anything
after the truth, kel tries his best to get sunny to say that he's joking, but to no avail. he feels the desperate need to forgive sunny, but just cant find it in him to do so. he misses the next few basketball games, trying to understand what had happened and trying to cheer hero up a little
kel graduates with relatively low grades, only really able to keep a passing score from his constant tutor-hopping
he goes to live with hero for a while, giving up on basketball from burnout and going towards minimum wage jobs for a while until he finally finds something he'd be interested in taking a job in, that being the pastry business
kel would find a partner at some point but i have no clue who they'd be
OK THATS IT!!! this was a lot of writing and a lot of procrastinating other things i should've been doing but thats ok
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Istg I keep seeing videos in my recommend that have either Andrew or Ashley sprites in the thumbnail and it's always in the lines of "shock storytelling is BAD" or "this needs to STOP" (I'm not providing examples as to not install a witchhunt but if youve seen them, you know EXACTLY who im talking about.) and I dont...I don't get why? Like, ok genuinely I'm having an actual hard time understanding why because being disturbed and being made uncomfortable is quite literally the definition of horror, so why is it a problem now.
To I guess throw my hat into the ring, I'd like to explain why i personally think incest integral to Tcoaal not only because I'm just fucking tired of seeing people not like the game just because of that aspect and I'm not knocking those people because of it because people can not like things for specific reasons, for example I am not one for horror involving teeth or the mouth so I tend to ignore horror media that prominently use those as setpieces. I'm mainly talking about people that bash it without actually playing it and people that see it at surface level and just make a Baseless assumption because to me and obviously a lot of other people as it still has great reviews, Tcoaal is wonderfully written and that IS thanks to its incest themes.
We see that throughout the game, Ashley obviously loves her brother, not only in the romantic sense but also in the power dynamic. While some aspects have yet to be revealed about thier relationship as we still only have two chapters, Ashley obviously manipulates Andrew and has since they were little as evident by the hide and seek flashback. It's incredibly obvious that Ashley likes control over people and since she doesn't really have anyone else that's closer to her, she uses Andrew exclusively as he's always been there with her figuratively and literally. While this behavior definitely comes from a sense of loneliness and fear of losing the one person that tolerates her as not even thier own parents wanted to stay around them let alone her, I think it also comes down to enjoying the control. Genuinely think about the story of the game for a sec, could you imagine being in that exact situation we see the siblings in. The closest thing we can even relate it to is covid, and we could at least still leave the house to an extent and have things sent to us that we wanted. Imagine going through all that not being able to leave, literally having the bare minimum of food being dropped off to you and being FORCED to stay inside not with a slap on the wrist but with active threats of death even though you know other people get to freely live outside peacefully. Not only is that terrifying but it gives a lot more insight to Ashley's character as she's literally stuck in a place she cannot control in an unfounded situation that is positively awful, but she does have one thing she can control, she has one person she can make exclusively hers and make him do whatever she wants through manipulation and the connection with love. The same goes for Andrew as we know Andrew was at least a bit more popular with people to the point where he even had a girlfriend (Julia) and to have literally all that stripped away from him is tragic, however for him there's one more person he can interact with, one person that cares about him and truly does love him in a way only they can share. It's a beautifully horrific way of telling a story because on the outside, it just looks like "oh hah hah, that's the incest cannibalism game" but if you actually played it you would see not only is the writing genuinely funny but also incredibly smart with its subtle meaning and player interpretation. It's NOT glorifying incest, it is actively showing an incredibly toxic relationship that was made through the circumstances and actions taken with both characters and to say it's just "shock storytelling" or "it's just trying to glorify incest" is just wrong, it's using the incest to further the narrative and that's why I personally find this game to be my favorite work of horror.
But that was just my interpretation, I'd love to hear your guy's views on it because I'd love to further the discussion and potentially add to my analysis as this was just something I wrote at 12:30 AM in bed. I could go on and on about my personal analysis but a lot of it would just be me being genuinely pretty annoyed with the games detractors and overall just make for a poor reading experience.
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this isn't really fandom related but i like a lot of the points you make and was wondering your opinion on something i see a decent amount of people saying that asking for easily googleable information is weaponized incompetence and while I understand the rest of weaponized incompetence and why it's bad this part has never made sense to me, like i get it if someone is pretending not to know or has asked each time they are asked to do it, but i mean if someone was never taught how to do something and they ask someone instead of googling it its seen as putting more responsibility on the person they are asking? when i feel like calling up your parents when you can on how to like boil an egg is a pretty accepted thing but if you don't have a good relationship with or any parents at all it seems like asking your community unless its a vague reddit that anyone can answer its seen as bad? like you can't ask the people in your life and socialize anymore because you can just get google to tell you when idk it just feels lonely? having to go to a search web instead of just talking to your social circle about how to do something? sorry if im overexplaining or don't make sense it just feels like some people follow the line of thought oh they asked me how to do something = they want me to do it because they don't know how even when they genuinely want to know how to do a thing so they can do it
Its because we live in an era where everyone is obsessed with the idea of not owing anybody anything and where asking anything of other people is considered selfish.
Honestly, I blame Reddit and TikTok for that, but that's a conversation all its own.
There are circumstances where its... Somewhat lazy or inconvenient to rely on other people to do things for you or coach you through something, and honestly I don't see how its better to call someone to ask how to boil an egg when you can YouTube it and get a visual and audio step-by-step that you can follow in real time, but each to their own.
Personally for me, it depends on the effort value of what I'm trying to do. Per your example for boiling an egg, to me, its not worth disturbing another person when realistically I can buy a carton of eggs, spend some time looking up cooking times and videos and give it a go myself. In the time it takes me to call someone up or type out a Reddit post I could've just gone to Google or Youtube and already started learning, and I don't have to risk potentially disturbing someone's relaxation time or work time over something that is, all in all, pretty trivial.
But let's say I'm trying to learn how to change a tyre or use a drill or something. I'd prefer to actually have someone there with me demonstrating and guiding me in real time and helping me to learn while also ensuring the job is done correctly because someone knowledgeable is actually right there too.
I think there's also a lot of other factors involved when deciding whether or not to ask another person for help. For example if your partner is busy trying to feed the newborn baby, do you really need to ask them how much washing powder to use or can you just look at the packaging for guidelines?
That said, as always, things like this are down to the individual people and are circumstantial. While I personally believe everyone should have some level of initiative and self-sufficiency, I also think there's nothing wrong in asking for help when you need it or wanting to learn new things with people.
If calling up your parents to ask them is how you want to learn to boil an egg, call them. Life is short. I love calling up my friends and saying "hey, wanna come learn this thing with me?" because its spending time with them, learning new experiences and doing something with someone you care about.
I might not call my parents up to ask them how to boil an egg, but there's still plenty of other things I can learn from them.
#myfandomrealitea#sephiroth speaks#proshipping#proship#reality#education#learning#social interactions#society
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whoops, i almost forgot about the star trek update. tuesday we watched tng's "firstborn" and "bloodlines" and last night we watched ds9's "the wire" (honorific)
firstborn (tng):
i was actually bracing for this one to suck ass bc everyone says worf is a bad dad. and i dont think he is!!! like, it doesn't come as easily to him as it does to sisko, and he sometimes forgets to be gentle or kind with alexander because he's so laser focused on how things SHOULD be he forgets to the importance of taking others' feelings into account, but that's how he is ALL THE TIME with EVERYONE not just his kid. considering the circumstances i'd say he's doing well
before we get started, GREAT cameo from the duras sisters. i was initially really annoyed with their tit windows but im becoming rather fond
i really liked "the family protector guy "k'mter" at first because he said all the right things to alexander...like, it's scary not being able to defend yourself, etc. then he also was a dick to alexander and i was really exasperated...but then he IS alexander so that totally fixes it. he's angry with himself and conflicted and just wants a HUG FROM HIS DAD and that FIXED it!!! like when he said "nobody will look at you and see a human you are alone on this ship" initially it felt like racism but it being like, not quite self-loathing but just bitter experience...that's actually so clever
this is the only episode where they brought up alexander's mom kind of hating ""klingon stuff"" and how that could possibly have negatively impacted him and it only got two lines of dialogue but still. i think it's really damning that she hated her own heritage and also brought her kid up to hate it and now he's sort of out here...pretending to be human, almost, to the point where he doesn't want to participate in hsi own culture or even bond with his own father (a klingon). like it sucks so bad for him
i was afraid that the plot twist would be "k'mter talks alexander into wanting to be a warrior after all just when worf realizes he doesn't have to be" which would have been sad but a real "oh shit" of an ending. mixed feelings about them not doing that but i understand why they wanted to properly wrap things up for s7
i almost forgot but rare w for picard for bending the rules a little bit to give worf time to go to the klingon festival with his kid. credit where it is due
bloodlines (tng):
i have never been so BITTERLY DISAPPOINTED.......................
they gave. picard. an affair baby.
THEY GAVE HIM AN AFFAIR BABY!
what have i been saying since farpoint! he has an affair baby! AND THEY GAVE HIM ONE
AND THEN TOOK IT AWAY
what was the POINT OF THE EPISODE
if that's not his fucking affair child
pussy ass little FUCKS couldnt commit to changes...
i can't even remember what else happened in this episode i was so disappointed about this plot twist
oh yeah actually i do remember picard made a bald joke which i THINK was the only time he's done that in seven seasons? i think the only time ANYONE'S done it? please correct me if i am wrong but i was so shocked it got a big laugh out of me. also a rare w for picard. if he made bald jokes more often i'd hate him less maybe
oh yeah i'm coming back to add this later but it was really hilarious that picard was so torn up over his not-son being a little criminal. his horrific unforgivable spelunking crimes. so true.
the wire (ds9)
ooohhhhhhhhhhhh my god. oh my GOD. let's fucking...get into it
i rly thot garak was just a guy but not only is he a former assassin he's a current junkie. A JUNKIE! he's just like me fr
also, he can act? like that scene where he was withdrawing and saying horrible shit to julian......i was on the edge of my seat.
i love that he gave us 3 different stories about how he got kicked out. i'm gonna be honest, i looked it up, and apparently we never find out the truth? that is a bold fucking move. a daring choice. we, like julian, will never have any certainty. like, sure, i WANT to believe he released some kids from being tortured, but it's also equally as likely that he killed civilians or did a number of other horrible things
like, the fact that he can lie about it even while under significant distress.........king. like you could say oh that's the true one because that's the one where he was physically unwell but he also referred to "elim" in that one which gives it the ring of a potential falsehood
julian forgiving him anyway, even after all the horrible stuff he said, even after being physically ATTACKED (WHICH WAS SCARY!!! i was scared of him!!!!!) for "whatever he did," just because garak said "i need to know someone forgives me"..........AUGHGHGH JESUS CHRIST
THE FACT THAT HE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. he won't tell even US what he did. eliot spencer core actually. i am beside myself about it all
maybe he's right and it is all true. maybe he destroyed a ship and framed a friend AND let some kids go. it's literally none of business though like he's not gonna tell us
anyway, i heard the term "brain implant" and nearly died on the spot, so 10/10 episode
honestly, they should have just upgraded this guy to a regular. he is so good
NEXT TIME: tng's "emergence" and ds9's "crossover" AND YES I KNOW THAT'S MIRRORVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Not to be overly morbid, but do yall ever think about suicide in prythian? Personally, i think killing yourself would be pretty common. I mean, it has to be given how few old people seem to exist in this world even though fae (or atleast high-fae) seem to insanely powerful and difficult to kill
And I dont think its because living in prythian sucks THAT much or even because being immortal is THAT bad, i mean arguably the biggest issue with immortality would be to watch all your loved ones die and thats not something that sjm's fae have to deal with. I think its moreso a thing of people just kinda getting tired of living after a few centuries and being like "welp. ive experienced pretty much everything, time to explore the world beyond" yknow. Thats why I think Velaris would have a pretty high suicide rate, because if youre stuck in a city thats presumably completely stagnant and never changes because its already perfect, youre going to run out of new enjoyable things to do wayyyy more quickly and get tired of your existence. It would also explain how this city full of immortals that can never leave but can reproduce hasnt already collapsed under the weight of overpopulation after over 5000 years
One idea that i like because it could make for some poignant commentary is that suicide rates are really high among faeries because theyre a lot more likely to live in poverty and its really hard to escape poverty and its really fucking miserable so after a few decades most of them decide they dont wanna live like that, and its gotten to the point where the high fae think they just naturally have shorter lifespans for some biological reason when they can actually live just as long as high fae, its just that they take poison or some shit to die in their sleep or something idk. Maybe thats a little very dark for acotar, but then again, sjm is constantly throwing around domestic violence and abuse and rape in this series so
I think suicide rates among high lords would be pretty high as well because I imagine their lives are pretty monotonous and tiring because of their responsibilities and because its not like they can leave prythian for an extended period of time to experience some new things or have some fun adventures, theyre tied to their court geographically. And god, can you imagine what would happen if theres a crisis. Yknow how a while ago the UK went through like 5 prime ministers in two weeks because of some bullshit that was happening? Imagine that but its just all these newly-chosen high lords killing themselves because they cant handle their court for some reason. I actually have a theory that thats what happened in the night court because theres this weird little throaway line where they say like, Mor's family used to be the ruling family but then the highlord power somehow got transferred to Rhys' family and its been driving me insane because WHAT do mean by that??? So basically, I think there was a time when Mor's highlord-chosen ancestors kept killing themselves for one reason or another, none of them wanted to be highlord and the magic of the land kept reaching out further and further until it landed on like, Rhysand's great-granddad who was only distantly related to Mor's ancestors and the ruling line just continued from there
Anyway, Id like to end this post on a more positive note and talk about the demographic that I think is the least likely to kill themselves, and thats the youngest children of noble families with multiple children. As ive said, im mostly basing this off of any given fae's ability to have a lot of new experiences to keep their lives from becoming monotonous and tiresome (combined with their material circumstances) and I think the youngest children of nobles hit the sweet spot of being pretty wealthy and not needing to do a lot of hard labour that would take up their time while also not being tied down by responsibilities that would force them to stay in one place. (Unless its a family of all girls and the youngest is their only son ig because as of acomaf, prythian is super patriarchal but i try not to think abt that ngl)
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I LOVE UR NEW BLOG LAYOUT 💥💥💥💥💥💥
anyway i have oc question :3 sort of like a part two to this question you asked me about how Anton would experiment on Aisling: how would Aisling react to all that? how would all those experiments effect him? what would he do and stuff?
AHHH THANK YOUUU 💖💖💖 I think at first he’d be pretty insistent on escaping, especially after any experimentation happens. He’s never really interacted with humans in a way that could cause him harm besides rosé but he also doesn’t view him as a human so this would be completely uncharted territory for him. He’d try to interact with Anton as minimally as possible, only really answering certain questions and trying to give evasive answers when he knows it’s something that will be used to hurt him later. During the actual experimentation, he’d probably have pretty frequent panic attacks. It’s invasive and wrong and he hates the way it all feels. He’d beg for it to stop even if begging would only make everything else worse.
I feel like a big turnaround point would be when he loses enough magic to the point he can’t hold his form anymore. That would sort of be when he realizes it’s hopeless. He’s stuck here and everything that happens is entirely out of control. As a last ditch effort he may try to bargain with Anton in order to figure out something just to make it all hurt a bit less. Like giving up his name in order for guaranteed sedatives or something along those lines. He’d completely lose any spark he had before of defiance.
^ this might be a bit different depending on whether dew is also there or not as we’ve sort of talked about before. he’d feel better if there was another person (especially dew) who he could talk to. It would take a lot longer for him to lose that spark, even after he’s been drained. He’d want to keep him as happy as he can under these circumstances. i feel like if things ever got really bad for dew he probably would use his abilities to sort of erase bits of that here and there which definitely wouldn’t be received well by either anton or dew if they found out but hey he’s trying to help :( why are you getting upset you’re the one who caused that pain im just trying to make it go away so he doesn’t break completely :(((
#whump#ask#scenario#tllr#whump community#whumpblr#crep’s ocs#aisling oc#he would not handle it well#also as much as he might care about dew if that guy EVER gets sick while being in the same room as him he is#hiding in a corner and crying and begging to be let out#he is doing so great#i feel like there is a possibility of a violent reaction from him too if he’s pushed way over the edge but#it’s pretty unlikely#plus if he ended up in one of those cages and had to constantly stand or wrap his cloak (if he still has it) in order to prevent burns#he might have a bit more of an incentive to stay peaceful!
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