#china fitting mold

[yueyimold]

dual mold sewer sealing fitting

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[mcnjushcge]

besides hetalia my other longtime obsessions are percy jackson, batfam (namely dick/jason/tim/dami), and mlp:fim. isn’t that so silly….my type is traumatized black haired boys with daddy issues. but twilight sparkle is also there

[zhongrin]

zhongrin © 2024 ❥ do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or feed into ai.

when your heart screams within your sealed lips…

(…. i hope i can at least be there to hold you.)

featuring... ❥ zhongli, al haitham, wriothesley, neuvillette, jing yuan, blade

involves... ❥ gn!reader, deeply personal blurbs (very self-indulgent), hurt with comfort (vague, with mentions of someone/people wronging/impacting you badly), probably ooc characters, mentions/implied retaliation by the characters

gilded golden lined fingers of a god dethroned gently weaves through your hair. for once, no words fell from your beloved’s lips, for zhongli knew that despite the silent night and the faux tranquility blanketing your dark bedchambers, your heart was screaming and writhing in pain.

the past few days, his amber eyes had followed you as you stumble and trudge through the thick mud of this whole mess you found yourself entrenched in. you may not realize his vigil over you, and countless times he had wished with all his heart, dreaming that you would sit with him to verbalize your troubles, seek his counsel, sought his aid - anything. anything but this foolish game of pretend, because he is not sure until when he can tolerate ignoring the vermin who has given you such unjust treatment.

perhaps in the morning the sky will darken and his wrath will descend upon the land you both walk on towards those who had wronged you. but for now, his anger simmers, bubbles, forges itself silently within his chest, tempered with the eons of expertise of molding metal. for now, he holds you like he’s holding a shattered bone china, like a craftsman appraising its damage before reshaping it with molten gold.

the price of violating the sanctity of a contract is steep, but the price of breaking your trust and betraying your kindness is steeper.

“you need not worry, my love. if there are moments where a god - retired as he may be - must pass judgment, it is now. a contract has been breached… and consequences shall follow.”

there aren’t too many things that can ruffle al haitham’s feathers. but seeing your eyes clouded with hurt and rimmed by veins of reds while you force a trembling smile on your lips as you welcomed him back home… it most definitely exceeds the annoyance from being forced to work overtime on a friday.

he’s glad he’s gotten used to reading you like a familiar book; your form fits snugly within his arms and your weight rests just right on top of his lap, not unlike the way a familiar book fits within his hand and weighs comfortingly in his hold.

“do you want to talk about it?” his comforting skills are a mixed copy of what he remembered from his grandmother and your own actions, carefully threaded and analyzed to fit the situations and the various variables within the scope of the equation. it’s methodical, logical, yet comforting all the same; it’s uniquely your al haitham.

whether you agree to open up to him or not, he’ll eventually find out. researching is one of his strongest skills after all, and when it comes to investigations, he has two strong cards to play: kaveh knows about almost all the gossips circulating in the city, and cyno is a strong advocate of justice who would be able to move independently given a whiff of the possibility of committed transgressions. if they wouldn’t do it for him, he’s sure they would at least feel empathetic towards you.

and if this perpetrator still insists on weaseling their way out of the law… well, he had been looking for a way to dispose that forbidden knowledge capsule, anyway.

wriothesley has never looked forward to arresting and 'welcoming' a criminal so much before.

impartiality is expected when you work in such field, but the agony you’ve gone through and he���d witnessed firsthand due to such heinous individual had been permanently etched in his brain. with each silent tears falling down your cheeks, it adds yet another scar upon his heart. he never fails to hold and comfort you every night, tries his very best to piece you together the best he can. but with how broken you were, he fears that you’ll never be the same.

he never wanted you to obtain a wound that cut so deep, it would leave a mark on your skin or your psyche. he’d take the bullet for you if he could. but with your insistence of dealing with the matter alone at first, he could only watch as you were ripped, torn, beaten.

he’s never felt like he wanted to utterly destroy a man as he catches your falling form and cradles it close to his chest.

so could you blame him when he personally goes on his way to make sure his newest, permanent prisoner feels absolutely unwelcome inside the fortress sunk deep beneath the waters?

after all, when the duke wants a criminal under his jurisdiction to suffer a fate worse than death, he needs no justification.

the word “guilty” had always tasted bitter on his tongue, like a sour, days-old water which had gone through several harsh conditions and became contaminated with environmental causes.

this particular “guilty”, however, he had said with the most conviction, with no pity nor sympathy, and its palate was of the freshest spring water of an untouched stream in the very nation he’s looking after. if the audience observes that the iudex looked colder and spoke with a voice so calm it’s almost obvious he was trying to conceal his fury, they did not say anything. it’s always been clearer than the reflection in the fountain of lucine; the fact that neuvilette holds you in the highest regard as his spouse.

so when you’ve been wronged?

naturally, when the opportunity for him to deliver justice on your behalf comes to him on a silver platter, he takes it with the most gratuity and takes the chance to personally hands down the verdict.

guilty, for the nights he had to hold you to sleep, for the mornings he had to assure you that you could go through the day, for the afternoons he had to check in to make sure you were busy and not wallowing in the murky depths of negative thoughts. guilty, for all the tears, the frustration, the mental strain, the self-hatred, and the bleeding wounds they’d inflicted upon your heart.

guilty, and for once, he finds himself wishing he could have handed down a death penalty.

“what’s troubling you?”

your husband loves his cuddles as much as his feline companions, and he’s just as sensitive to the changes in your mood as they do. with mimi sleeping and being your makeshift pillow, your cat curled right behind you, the fuzzy blanket pulled up to your waist, and your jing yuan holding you close as he continuously strokes your hair… if your heart weren’t so weary, it would have been a peaceful afternoon.

“you know you can tell this old man anything, yes, dearest?” a playful hum and a lazy grin rouses you out of your miserable thoughts, the muted colors filling with the warming golds of his eyes.

unlike inanimate chess pieces on a board, humans may veer off course from their planned routes and therefore proves finicky to handle to some. but to jing yuan, it is but one of the facets that makes human, human. so when you stubbornly try to avoid talking about it, he does not press further, nor does he feel anger.

time and time again, you’ve proven yourself stronger than steel; countless times you’ve proven you didn’t need his help, and it’s always reminded him of how resilient one could be in the face of adversity. still, he can’t help but fret whenever he’s deprived of witnessing the skips in your steps and the pleasant ring of your laughter. he may be patient, but he knows everything has its limits - both your tolerance and his fortitude, that is.

the general sighs and somewhat begrudgingly decides to give you a few more days. he’s gotten used to uprooting weeds growing in his garden after all these years; this, too, will not be any different.

“who did this to you?”

mara is truly a strange phenomenon.

while there are several things that could trigger his condition, if there’s one absolute causation which could decisively result in a mara-struck blade leading a whole carnage, it was seeing pearls of tears drop from your sullen eyes.

for a moment, he thinks it’s his fault. he’s not the best lover, and he has no doubt that you deserve better - but the moment you admitted you wanted him, broken and horribly disfigured as he was, you’ve filled the cracks in his being with you; you’re part of him, now. and he can’t bring himself to ever let go - but as you look into his eyes with the exhaustion of a broken soldier enduring one too many battles, he knows.

he knows he needs to fight a war you dare not tread.

“all i need is a name.”

through the desperation, there’s a hint of pleading in his voice. the hands cradling your cheeks are bandaged and bloodied with the blood of a billion lives, and he’s ever so grateful that you never flinch away from them. red spider lilies blooms ominously behind his gaze, lycorine bubbling like acid in his veins as he commits the memory of your lips forming the syllables, letter by letter. he’s not good at comforting people, so he does the best he could do: stay as close as possible as you rest against him, eventually falling into a tired slumber. blade carefully tucks you in, habitually presses a chaste kiss on your forehead, and sets off when you’re asleep.

if he’s already just a tool anyway, he would rather become the blade that pierces your enemies’ heart for your sake.

[denial-permanente]

You often mentioned that to start off Etsy/ Amazon etc offer cheap Chinese copies of devices which are good to get an idea of what fits.

My thought has always gone to the health risk that there is in buying anything that comes from China and is cheap. Do you have any advice on how to avoid stuff made of harmful plastics/covered in toxic chemicals?

🔏 Okay, buckle in, we're going for a ride.

Very few people in our consumer society know how anything is made. I'm not joking. Even the simplest items most of us buy are mass produced. When I was growing up, most kids had been to "the factory in town" on a class trip to see things produced. I have seen dozens of different kinds of things being made, from baked goods, to bottled soft drinks, to wine, and of course, to manufactured goods (consumer and industrial products). Now, nobody sees these anymore, and no body gets to have any underlying k edge of how things are made, or how good, ie, quality products differ from crappy consumer items. Hell, most schools no longer have regular shop class anymore (I'm told it's a liability 🙄).

All that is a lead up to this: most consumer driven products (like plastic chastity cages) coming from China are cheap because a) they did not have to so k any mo ey I to development costs, and b) the products are cheap enough so that most people don't care if it breaks, and c) most people can't tell the difference between an okay product and a high end one. A $10 crappy product might have sharp edges and burrs, while an okay $30 product won't. But few people will notice or care about the difference between the $30 cage and the $130 or even the $300 cage.

Now, that said, I am wearing a Chinese made A272 cage that I bought about seven or eight years ago, and have been wearing steadily (and now permanently) since. Did I get lucky? Maybe. I've bought other Chinese stainless steel cages just to test them out, and most were junk. And even this particular cage came with a crappy knockoff Burg Wachter ME/2 barrel lock. I ended up buying a few more, better quality locks as backups.

Okay, I got that off my chest. 😅

Here's the problem with buying those cheap Chinese cages: you can't tell what you're getting. The Cobra knockoffs have been reported to have color dye that irritates some people. The locks will probably need to be replaced with decent ones. The molds will probably leave the cages with sharp edges that could irritate sensitive skin. And don't even get me started on the quality of the plastic. Many years ago I bought a cage that was advertised as stainless steel. The cage was, but the rings were cheap metal with chrome plating. That would have been a major reaction for a lot of other guys.

So while I do suggest that some people experiment with the cheap cages in order to get a feel for what works, I also follow that up with suggesting that when they figure out what works, to use that information to help pick out a quality cage. A few months in and out of a crappy cage will probably not poison you; the harmful chemicals in those plastics are fairly well bound up.

And until Consumer Reports starts reviewing them, then about the best you can hope for is reading the various discussion groups to glean whatever information you can.

[coldswarkids]

lord give me the strength, for in a few days I’m going back to visit my “maybe you and your bf should work out more, it wouldn’t hurt” “you SeE, in tHe FiTNeSS COmmUniTy” “the brand new furniture is contaminated with mycotoxins causing MOLD” “they probably sterilized you when you were in china so you wouldn’t even be able to have kids anyways” family. and while I’m not there for Christmas thank God, just a couple days is about enough to send me over the edge

[dangermousie]

Top Dozen 2023 drama MLs so far

It's August, so not the end of the year, neither it is at halfway year mark, but why would I ever do anything like a normal person? Here my very very subjective list. I have limited myself to one dude per drama or LYF would be half the list. No order except alphabetical.

Chen Wende (Sun Yizhou in Gone With the Rain, China)

The epic troll lord stole the whole drama as competently as he stole the FL's heart. He was competent and adult and oh-so-amused by but also gone for the heroine.

Gu Jiusi (Bai Jing Ting in Chang Feng Du/Destined, China)

CFD lost steam for me halfway through but Jiusi's character remained a delight throughout and BJT gave a great performance as a golden boy who went through a bunch of hell and grew up but remained goodnatured at heart.

Han Dong Jin (Kim Young Kwang in Call It Love, Korea)

You know, he and Jing (from LYF1) really fit the same mold even if one is in a mellow realistic modern and another in xianxia - lovely traumatized people from monster families who win over heroine with a metric ton of baggage through sheer unswerving decency. I have a type.

Jang Uk (Lee Jae Wook in Alchemy of Souls s2, Korea)

I loved Uk in S1 and S2 continued that love - he's so intense, so grieving, so still in love with Naksu. LJW is always a good actor so it's such a pleasure to see him in a good role.

Kim Do Ha (Hwang Min Hyun, My Lovely Liar, Korea)

The year of surprises - Minhyun, who I found utterly wooden in AoS stole my heart here as this hopeful, traumatized sweetheart of a man.

Kim Moo Chan (Park Hae Jin, The Killing Vote, Korea)

Yeah, we are only one ep in but who said anything about this list was objective? PHJ brings his usual unsettling intensity to the role of a cop who breaks all the rules and teeters on the edge and now is set to catch a killer who really only differs from him in a matter of degree.

Lee Jang Hyun (Nam Goong Min in My Dearest, Korea)

If I had to pick a favorite ML from this list, it would be between him and Jing (LYF). This is basically if you took Rhett Butler and took out slavery and rape but gave him a sword. The character is complex and nuanced and NGM is giving his usual incredible performance.

Lee Rang (Kim Bum in Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938, Korea)

I was not a Rang fangirl for most of the original (even if he was well-acted; and he did win me over by the end) but I fell for him head over heels in this sequel/prequel/spin-off. I am so happy the man who believed he had nobody and was abandoned by everybody ends the story with his beloved brother and his beloved woman, both.

Moon Seo Ha (Ahn Bo Hyun in See You in My 19th Life, Korea)

A lot of MLs on this list have serious trauma and haunted by it and can't let go of their past love (I have a type) but even by those standards, Seo Ha was such a lovely, quiet person slowly healing.

Tantai Jin (Luo Yunxi in Till the End of the Moon, China)

Abuse victim/monster/praiseworthy king/xianxia saint/man on the brink - LYX portrayed a character in multiple timelines and many different complexities and did it amazingly. Tantai Jin may or may not win my favorite place on this list, but his performance was hands-down the most glorious thing this year.

Tushan Jing/Ye Shiqi (Deng Wei in Lost You Forever part 1, China)

If before LYF aired someone would have told me that a character played by Deng Wei, an actor I've always found eminently forgettable, would make it on this list and be in the running to win the whole thing actually, I'd have wondered what weird reality they came from. They somehow managed to make someone genuinely good and kind not in the least boring; I am ridiculously invested in the man who managed to keep his soul after all he's been through.

Yun Xiang (Chen Xiao in The Ingenuous One, China)

A schemer on a revenge quest, smarter than anyone else in the room but helpless in front of love. Yun Xiang was an adult in an adult story for adults and it was glorious.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

I picked this 1973 home in Utica, Michigan because the virtual tour video plays the the theme from "The Godfather." Therefore, the realtor thinks that it's fit for a mobster. 6bds, 9ba, $1.1M (actually, not a bad price.)

So, apparently, everything has to be ornate. We begin with the front doors.

And, it has to have to marble. This home has marble floors and stairs, spiraling up thru the floors.

And, there have to be magnificent chandeliers.

I have no idea what some of the rooms are, but this looks like the main sitting room, off the center hall. It has a lovely curved fireplace which is different.

The description talks about an entertainment room, which I'm guessing this is, b/c it has a large bar.

Very large kitchen with marble or quartz counters and backsplash. The beams in the ceiling are accented with corbels.

Curved window in the dining room and also a curved china cabinet.

Like the rounded walls, carved molding and wallpaper, but I don't know what this room is. It could be a bedroom with a wall sconce on either side of bed.

This would be the primary bedroom.

And, this is the en-suite.

Each landing has a large sitting area with a fireplace.

The bedrooms are all very large and each one has a different style fireplace.

This bedroom and en-suite have a very different style.

And, this is another very different bedroom decor.

The rec room in the basement has a stone fireplace and a bar.

There's also a full, but dated, kitchen in down here.

This is the indoor pool.

And, there's also a shower.

The back of the house has terraces and a large patio with an outdoor pool.

In addition to the pool, there's a pond on the grounds.

The lot measures 5.50 acres.

[talbaquix]

A layman's guide to olympic fencing—

for writers, artists, olympic fans, or the otherwise curious.

disclaimer: i say layman for a reason! i'm not at all a professional, or even good, but i have been fencing (very) recreationally at an amateur level for ~7 years. also, my exposure to sabre is extremely limited, and i am speaking from an american POV, so please feel free to correct me on any points you see necessary. :)

long post incoming...

So, what is "Olympic fencing?"

First and foremost, it is a sport. Not a fight, not a duel—a sport. One of five that have been permanent fixtures since the very first modern Olympic games, actually—hence the name! While other similar sword-wielding activities (such as historical European martial arts (HEMA), kendo, or wushu for example) may occasionally be referred to as "fencing," most people (me included) define fencing as this specific sport, and use other classifiers to categorize the rest.

Originally, fencing began as a form of military training in Germany and Italy, before spreading recreationally across more areas in Europe. Currently, the fencing scene is almost uncontestedly dominated by Italy, France, and Hungary, though both China/HK and the US have had some pretty stellar wins more recently.

In addition, French has a pretty large influence on fencing terminology and language, at least in the West. Be prepared!

The Basics

Three Weapons

Fencing is divided into three disciplines, each with their own equipment, strategies, and ruleset. They are as follows:

Épée: The classic. The heaviest and most defensive of the three blades, épée's simple ruleset allows for more elaborate strategy and really lives up to fencing's moniker of "physical chess." In épée, the entirety of your opponents body (including face, toes, etc!) counts as valid target area and all hits must be scored with the tip of the blade. In case of a double-touch (relatively simultaneous hits from both opponents), both opponents score points.

Because there's no need for specific target areas, épéeists enjoy minimal equipment, forgoing lamés (electric jackets, pronounced luh-may) and mask cords in exchange for a larger bell guard to protect the hand (that big bit of metal at the end of the blade). Épéeists can use pistol grips for more point control (molded to fit a hand), or a french grip to get a little bit of extra distance (red stick grip).

Épée bouts are stereotypically known for being slow and boring, since the absence of right-of-way (explained later) allows more freedom in trying to sus out opponent reactions and strategize, and the whole-body target + double-touch system means there's more benefit to fencing slowly in comparison to sabre or foil. It's not uncommon for épée bouts to begin with both fencers being carded for passivity! There's a lot of bouncing back and forth in the middle.

Saber (Sabre): Fast, slashing, and aggressive. The fencing you see in movies? Sabre. It's the only cutting weapon, where the entire length of the blade is able to register contact with the opponent. In sabre, the target area is the upper half of the body (including the face, but excluding the hand) and their lamés reflect that. Sabre also employs what is known as right-of-way/priority/advantage (from here on abbreviated as RoW) which, in the case of a double-touch, essentially gives RoW—and therefore the point—to the "aggressing" fencer at the referee's discretion. RoW is pretty complicated, but is very influential in how both sabre and foil play out.

In their ready (en garde) position, sabreists also hold their blade vertically to protect the face (as opposed to foil and épée, where the blade is held horizontally to keep the point towards the opponent). Sabreists also need special masks to register hits, as well as a mask cord to connect it to the rest of the electric circuit. Sabre bell guards are kinda swoopy and extend downward (think pirates) and are always "french grips" (aka just a stick).

Sabreists are generally known for being (respectfully) batshit insane and dramatic as hell. Bouts are extremely fast (rarely more than a few seconds) and look simple, and rely much more on pure athleticism and fast reaction times than épée. Most bouts consist of the two fencers running towards each other, maybe a parry or two, then both fencers scoring hits with a fair bit of screaming and angrily pointing at the ref. Oh wait, did I say running? Sorry, I meant advancing, since sabre is also the only discipline where crossing-over with your legs got banned because people just started sprinting towards the middle instead of actually fencing. Love them for that.

Foil (Fleuret, rarely): Oh, foil. The artistic middleman. Originating as a practice weapon, foil tends to sit in the middle of épée's careful point-control and elaborate strategy and sabre's split-second reactions and fuck-it-we-ball energy. Yet somehow, it ends up being more nit-picky and complicated than both. It has the smallest target area of the three, only covering the torso, as well as the lightest blade. Touches are only registered from the tip.

RoW's influence is noticeably large, since, compared to sabre, the longer bout times actually allow for opportunity for RoW to be traded between you and your opponent. Foil can almost be thought of as turn-based combat. Fencer A initiates the attack first, now has RoW, lunges and misses, which gives RoW to Fencer B. Fencer B attacks, gets parried (back to Fencer A), A extends, B counterattacks, A gets the point.

Foil stereotypes aren't as strong as épée or sabre stereotypes, but foilists are generally known for either being super pedantic and arguing w/ the ref about RoW or whipping their blade around constantly & being flowery (hence, "fleuret"). Because of how bendy the foil is, foilists can also do cool stuff like flicks (snapping your wrist so that the blade bends around, oftentimes to hit your opponents back) and can also get into pretty funny in-fighting situations a bit more often than sabre/épée (since corps-a-corps contact isn't allowed in fencing, and stepping back means you lose RoW, there's a lot of awkward up-close poking).

Some Positions

En garde: the basic fencing position. In essence, a squat, with one foot facing forward and the other turned out, roughly one and a half foot-lengths apart. This is the basis from which all other movements—the lunge, the advance, the retreat—should be executed, and the position fencers return to once an action is completed.

Lunge: the quintessential fencing attack. From en garde, extend your dominant arm, kick out your front foot, land forward, and extend your back arm for balance. To recover, bend your back leg and return to en garde.

Parry: the most basic piece of defensive bladework that every fencer learns, with the "beat" serving as its offensive counterpart. Consists of hitting your opponents blade to prevent a touch. There are nine different parries in classical fencing, but the most common (in foil/épée) are the four and six, which defend the inside and outside lines respectively.

Ettiquette & Other Fun Facts

All fencers must salute their opponent, referee, and audience (if there is one) before and after the bout. Usually just consists of "nodding" at the salutee with your blade before the mask is donned. At the end of bouts, a handshake with your opponent using your non-dominant hand is also expected. Many people substitute/add on to the handshake by tapping blades instead.

Unlike in tennis, seeing a fencer hold up a one on their hand after a touch is an acknowledgement of the opponent's point, whereas a closed fist is a claim of theirs.

When fencing without a ref, many people will slap their thigh to indicate the start of a bout.

Fencers may not speak while the mask is on.

Fencing clubs are also sometimes called salles.

While electrical equipment can vary between disciplines, all fencers are required to wear knickers, a plastron (under-arm protector), a body cord, a jacket, a glove, and a mask. For women, a plastic chest protector is also required. In sabre and foil, fencers also wear a mask cord and lamé.

The first safety rule most fencers learn is to never raise your blade towards someone without a mask on, and it's taken pretty seriously. Because the back of a mask is exposed, its also a big big no-no to turn your back to your opponent during a bout or otherwise lower your head.

Common Terminology

En garde, prez, allez! - On guard, ready, fence! Used to signal the start of a bout.

Halt! - Said by referees to. halt the bout.

Strip/piste - The surface on which fencers fence. Usually around 2m wide and 14m long, the lines on the piste also dictate where fencers must move to to begin bouts, and where they're considered out-of-bounds. Sometimes, they're on raised platforms. Yes, people have fallen off, yes, it's extremely funny.

Feint - Probably what you think it is.

Disengage - Moving your blade in a little circle to avoid contact with what is usually an incoming parry/beat. On a very basic level, straight attacks beat disengages, disengages beat parries, and parries beat straight attacks.

Fleche - An explosive running attack. Due to not being able to cross-over, sabreists use "flunges" instead, a mix between a fleche and a lunge that essentially entails flinging yourself at your opponent in a flying lunge.

Balestra - hop :)

Riposte - An immediate attack done after a defender's parry. Usually heard as "parry-riposte."

Tempo - A kind of nebulous concept, but very similar to the musical definition of the word. The pace of a bout, sorta. Often used when someone is advised to break tempo or if one fencer is controlling the tempo of a bout.

FAQ

Why are the blades bendy? To keep us from dying, mainly. What, you want the metal pole people can throw at each other at the same speed as a bullet (literally) to be solid? Also, blades break a lot already, especially in the hands of the inexperienced—they'd snap a hell of a lot more if they weren't flexible. Ouch.

Does it hurt? About as much as getting poked really hard with a steel stick would. Leaves bruises often, but cuts very rarely. You get used to it. The real kicker is staying in en garde for that long. Trust me, your quads will be screaming.

Is it- No, it's not dangerous. If you follow the rules, fencing is actually extremely safe, especially compared to contact sports.

Does a red light mean no touch? No. One fencer is assigned a red light that lights up whenever a touch is made, and the other is given green. In sabre and foil, yellow (sometimes white) means whatever the fencer hit was off-target, and should not be counted as a point. Épée doesn't have an off-target light, since épéeists don't wear lamés.

How do the masks know when a point is scored? Often asked upon seeing the little lights on the side of masks light up upon touches. Unless you're "dry fencing" (no electricity), you're typically hooked up to a circuit. If you fence épée or foil, there's a little button on the end of your blade that registers when pressure is added onto it. When a hit is scored, the signal goes through the wire in your blade, up your body cord, and eventually to "the box" (and your mask if you're fancy), and the corresponding light is flashed.

Why hold your hand behind your back? Most people don't! Some beginners do it to prevent themselves from reflexively moving their non-gloved hand in front of them when being attacked (which is against the rules), but most fencers either keep their hand relaxed at their side, raised in a t-rex pose, or occasionally above the head.

Helmet? Mask.

Sword? If you want.

Touché? Often "touche," actually. No accent.

Paralympics? On (stationary) wheelchairs. Extremely cool, actually, and very hard. Check it out!

Expensive? To get all your own stuff? Yes. But most clubs will rent you equipment, or sometimes lend it for free! But yes, more expensive than, like, soccer. :(.

Is it fun? Absolutely. To quote some random internet user, "it's like chess, at 90 miles an hour, oh and there's swords!" I would 100% recommend it to everyone, especially if you're on the older side (fencing isn't super age-restricted at all—seeing a 12 y/o and a 70 y/o facing off on a club piste isn't uncommon!) It is exhausting, exhilarating, and super, super fun. Give it a shot!

.

Please feel free to send any and all questions, corrections, or musings my way. Thanks for reading—I hope this was interesting and/or useful!

[slasher-dasher]

Vincent

︶꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦︶

Starry, starry night

Candles lit up the area around him, flickering like the stars he hadn’t seen in who knows how many days now. The smell of wax invaded his nostrils more than usual as he poured the melted material over his latest piece of art. Bo had delivered her to the workshop himself, stomping down the steps with the proudest smile on his face before leaving her in the care of his twin.

Flaming flowers that brightly blaze

Vincent wasn’t sure if she had passed out or had suffocated from the hardening wax around her face, but he did notice that at some point she had closed her eyes. It was a shame. Vincent had liked the way her hazel eyes danced like the candlelight, flicking between his face and the brush in his hands. She had tried to reach for it at first. Not in an attempt to escape, but in an attempt to get his attention. Vincent tilted his head, taking in every detail he could as she tried to speak. The colors in her iris exploded in a pattern that made him think of sunflowers. His mother always loved that painting.

Swirling clouds in violet haze

He carried the weight of two titles, both passed onto him by his mother. Artist. One that was semi-forced into his blood. He liked watching her swirl the wax in her molds, delicately carving them to seamlessly match the rest of her sculptures. How many times had Vincent wished she would look at her children like those sculptures? He remembered the day she put a brush in his hand after he had pointed at her tools. It hadn’t ended well. Shaking his head, he brought his attention back to the girl on his table. The artist ran his brush over a fresh, purple bruise on her wrist, hiding the imperfection from any ghostly prying eyes.

Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue

Vincent. After Van Gogh himself, his mother’s favorite artist. She had always adored art while growing up, but his paintings always inspired her to create when there was no other option. And here he was, continuing her legacy while starting his own. Bo had worked out the plan years before the boys found their way back to Ambrose, never stopping until he found the two again. Maybe the name was fitting. Two men with loving brothers who, deep down, knew they would do anything for. Two tragic artists with no one to listen to them. Two people with the same name, same signature, same occupation, in separate times. Vincent found it ironic.

Colors changing hue

The artist placed his tools on the rolling shelf nearby, taking a match to light some of the lesser-used candles. Waterfalls of wax dripped onto the floor, pooling at his feet with a few rusty nails he had yet to shove into another makeshift clock. While the wax dried, he gently moved her wrists and ankles into the restraints on the worktable, careful not to break the layers he’d already worked on. This was a rare sight for him. Someone who hadn’t tried to fight from the moment she came to town, just accepting that there just so happened to be a wax museum not far from where her car had broken down. It was obvious his twin hadn’t done much before bringing her down here, at most he had wrapped her wrists a little too tightly in that wretched chair before he glued her lips together. Lips that had become pale and chapped from the chill of the basement, now full of faux life again. All because of his craft. Vincent pulled a small tube of lipstick from the girl’s bag, another rare sight since Bo usually took them for the wallet before getting rid of them. The tube was set aside to be put in a much smaller batch of wax to be melted later. He would honor her color choice, it was common enough to do so.

Morning fields of amber grain

The sculpture’s eyes shot open again as a fresh layer of hot wax poured onto her torso, untouched by the substance until now. They scanned the room in a panic, realization finally setting in as the flowers in her eyes became blurry with tears. The extra light made the green halos around the edge of her iris appear almost yellow, distorting them further as the flames danced. Vincent worked quickly now, muscle memory taking over as he just tried to get this over with. His method worked, he knew this, but it still shocked him how fast pain and adrenaline could cancel each other out in the human mind. She took a few deep, desperate breaths from under the wax face, feeling hot rushes of air that did little to soothe her fear. Her eyes shot to Vincent, pleading and full of life that was snuffed out far too fast for his liking. They closed, hidden from the world for the moment, and he instinctively lowered his head.

Weathered faces lined in pain

Sleep deprivation was starting to get to him just as the heavy doors of the museum crashed open again, followed by familiar loud barking. Dinner time. Lester had likely been sent to get him, which meant Bo was in a bad mood. Then again, Jonesy wouldn’t be with him at this time if he didn’t already have food in tow. Vincent guided his hand over the girl’s eyes, opening them one last time now that they couldn’t be closed again. The artist sighed, taking off his apron to hang on a spare hook before climbing the stairs into the museum. He glanced around at his artwork, some of the newer additions glancing back at him. Vincent guided his hand over each sculpture, wondering if they knew how important they were to this town. A happy bark brought him out of his trance, not realizing he had accidentally cracked the wax of the man as he jumped. Jonesy happily trotted up to him, wagging her tail as he leaned down to pet her before following her to where Lester stood, admiring the House of Wax in all its unsung glory. The trio made their way back to their rundown home, Vincent dragging his fingers across the heavy wax door as he locked it in a silent promise to return.

Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand.

Song - Vincent by Don McLean

[theidiotartistt]

Last Night At The Telegraph Club — A book by Malinda Lo

A book blog by me~

A sapphic historical fiction emotional roller coaster? YES PLEASE. 

A brief introduction to the text:

We are first introduced to Lily, our baby gay protagonist, and her journey of discovering who she is in a time when doing so was inherently dangerous. Gaybars were being raided by police, those who were gay were seen as “sexual deviants,” and, on top of it all, she was only seventeen, making her vulnerable to the criticisms and gossip of those around her. She also carried the weight of protecting her family on her shoulders. Her father had his papers taken away, so every action by any family member had to reflect the image of a "good American family." Being openly queer in this homophobic time didn’t fit into that mold.

Still, Lily decided to take a leap. She chose to go to the Telegraph Club (a queer club/bar), not because anyone influenced her but because she was sick and tired of the reasons that had kept her from going—reasons that had kept her trapped.

Even within the queer community, she faced stereotypes: people assuming she didn’t speak English, the "China doll" fetishization, and assumptions that she knew every Asian person. All of this made her feel unwelcome in the very place where she was risking everything to be herself.

Throughout the story, we are introduced to the pasts of the people in Lily’s life, and we see that some of them had also stepped outside the guise of social norms to express themselves. Her parents even visited a sexually explicit club in one chapter. The time period itself is revealing, as Shirley is dating Cevin, a college student accused of communism—someone considered off-limits. Shirley even hid this truth from Lily. As I read, it became increasingly clear that their criticisms of Lily did not hold up, and many of the people who later tried to “save” Lily were hypocrites. Except for her Aunt, uncle, and siblings—bless them.

As Lily discovers herself, she realizes that she no longer wants to hide in the ways she had before. She no longer wants to follow the lead of Shirley (her “best friend” from childhood), and she no longer wants to conform to the constraints that had long boxed her into the stereotype of a “good Chinese girl.” She wants to be free—free to pursue her dreams of working in her aunt’s lab to help build rockets, free from the criticisms of her parents, and free to live with and love Kath, the beautiful girl who introduced her to a world of possibilities just beyond her view: the queer community and the legacy of gay bars.

My personal connection:

Anyone else suddenly inspired to sneak out and go clubbing at a gay bar? Just me? Kidding! But seriously, this book drew me in like no other. I found myself fighting sleep just to read ONE. MORE. PAGE. It was beautifully written, and the descriptions of furniture, drinks, parks, and more were so detailed that I felt as if I were experiencing these events alongside Lily.

Though I couldn’t directly relate to her intense struggles with homophobia, the threat of deportation, and the racism she faced as a Chinese American, I could deeply relate to some of her interpersonal struggles with friends, family, and herself—especially as they related to her queerness.

I could feel the last remnants of my own internalized homophobia melting away as I watched a girl in such a dangerous time period fight to be herself despite everything she stood to lose. The denial of who she was by certain people in her life, and her strength in resisting all of that, reminded me to stand my ground about who I am. It showed me that I shouldn’t let people minimize my experiences as “just a phase,” even though I’m young.

Also, Shirley’s disgust with Lily and her assumption that Lily liked her hit HARD. While I haven’t experienced such an extreme reaction, I’ve had friends in the past assume I liked them solely because I’m gay, and that has led to them feeling uncomfortable around me. (#Shirleysreactionwasmyworstfear)

Overall, this book was incredibly well-written and insightful. It showed me a piece of history I had thought existed, but have never heard of. Of course, I knew about Stonewall, the raiding of gay bars, and similar events, but I had never read a book that immersed me in the experiences of young people my age facing these struggles head-on.

——————————————————————————————————

BTW: If you read all of this, do you like this format of writing better? Usually I would write a essay summarizing every part of the text but I decided in this to be more brief to allow people to learn about the book but not so much so that it ruins it for them. What do you think?

[yueyimold]

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[hetafice]

soft!yandere china x reader

request: Hello! Do you write yandere characters? What about 2ps and nyo!? Could you do something for Yandere!China? If not can I get hcs or scenarios for China with a Fem!Darling?

I feel like you would have to be exceptional in some way to become the object of Yao’s affections. He appreciates beauty and intelligence, but he would place much more stock in a darling that’s graceful or poised. I don’t think he’s necessarily hung up on looks (he is thousands of years old- it takes more than just a pretty face to catch his eye), but he seems likely to try to cultivate sophistication in his partners as well. Elegance is closely associated with the feminine ideal in Chinese culture, after all. Regardless of how his darling identifies, he will strongly mold them to fit cultural/historical standards of comportment. 

Before Yao even thinks to start a relationship with you, he will observe you. Likely within plain sight. If you’re a country you’ll likely feel his eyes on you in a crowd. Before he makes such a big emotional investment, he needs to be sure of what he’s getting into. Once you exhibit a few of the qualities he’s into, you’re a goner.

His age strongly informs the way he interacts with his darling. He’s old enough to not be delusional. I feel like he’s the least likely to kidnap you. Instead, he’ll take a different route completely. Think crazy gifts (first class flights, expensive clothes and jewelry), and compliments. Is he obsessed? Yes. Is part of that obsession fed by a desire to control? Also yes. But he does not want to coerce you. Part of the fun is indeed having you, but another is getting you to come to him on your own. He looks down on the greener nations that rely on force. He will carefully manipulate your perceptions of him, and over time you’ll fall into his trap without even realizing.

Of course he’ll let you borrow the car to drive yourself home, or he’ll take you home to get clothes, but why would you need to when he’s got the entire Spring/Summer 2023 Mugler collection at the penthouse?? I’m tempted to use the term gilded cage, but you can leave whenever. That ��freedom” could easily give anyone a false sense of security. And he takes full advantage of that fact. 

 He is truly devoted to his darling, but is not the most openly loving person. As such, he expresses his love by giving gifts rather than physical contact or romantic language (it’s giving sugar daddy y’all). As mentioned before, he will pay top dollar and move the moon to ensure his darling’s happiness. He is not worried about spoiling his darling at all. He does not mind a little bit of brattiness to spice things up as long as nothing goes too far. He rarely spends money on himself, but as his sun moon and stars, that reasoning cannot be applied to you. Ask and you shall receive.

Don’t let him fool you! This devotion does not come without a price, though. Complete obedience is expected. He uses his darling’s standard of living as leverage, so there is rarely a need for real punishments. His goal is to get you so accustomed to luxury that you’ll do near anything to keep it.

Because of his age and temperament, I don’t think Yao would be keen on harsh physical punishments, or any physical punishments for that matter.

If you’re lucky enough to catch Yao’s eyes, you will never lift a finger again. So long as you play the part of a gentle, grateful, and obedient lover, that is. But with a life like this, why wouldn’t you be? No need to question anything that seems off…right?

[buriedalienfma]

The release of the first few episodes of ‘My Adventures with Superman’ has got me thinking a lot about Superman, and in particular, I wanted to talk about the Superman cartoon that never was - The Superman Family Animated Series.

For those who don’t know what this is all about, here’s the gist of it :

In around 2019, animation director Victor Heuck pitched an idea for a new Superman cartoon that was loosely titled “Superman Family”. The basic idea behind the cartoon was to essentially adapt the DC Rebirth Superman comics as well as the Super-Sons comics. The Rebirth Superman comics primarily focused on Superman raising his son, Jon Kent (who inherited his father’s powers) with his wife Lois Lane, while Super-Sons focused on Jon Kent’s escapades as the new Superboy as he teams up with Damian Wayne, the son of Batman.

Victor Heuck wanted to take the ideas behind the above mentioned comics and adapt them into a new Superman cartoon. The cartoon was also going to be very light-hearted in tone and Heuck has stated that the older Silver Age Superman comics was also going to be a strong influence on the cartoon. Just as an example, Heuck mentioned that he wanted to explore the idea of Jon and his mother dealing with Superman being turned into a Merman for a potential episode of the cartoon. That should give you a good idea of what kind of cartoon this was going to be.

Victor Heuck worked alongside Sean “Cheeks” Galloway to put together the pitch. You might have heard of Sean Galloway, he was the character designer behind the Spectacular Spider-Man animated series, and he drew up a couple of the character designs for the ‘Superman Family’ cartoon.

As the title of the cartoon would suggest, there was going to be a strong focus on the Superman family. Characters like Kenan Kong and Natasha Irons were going to be featured as recurring characters. In the comics, Kenan Kong is the Superman of China, while Natasha Irons is the niece of John Henry Irons, a character who built a high-tech suit of armor in order to become a superhero inspired by Superman himself. Natasha Irons followed in her uncle’s footsteps with her own suit of armor. The ‘Superman Family’ cartoon was going to portray Natasha as the big sister to Jon Kent. As you can see from the character sheets above, the classic Superman villain Mxyzptlk was also going to be a recurring character, which is fitting since I consider him to be THE silver age Superman villain.

While the pitch was received warmly by the people working at Warner Brothers, they ultimately chose to pass on the cartoon and as a result, it was never made.

So what are my thoughts on this pitch ? Well, this pitch was made in around 2019, and I can tell you right now, that wasn’t the best time for Superman fans. There was no plans for a new Superman movie or series at the time and the character seemed to be fading from  the public eye. At that time, I gladly would have welcomed this cartoon. It would have had a pretty big impact on the Superman franchise. For one, I think that Jon Kent would have been propelled into the spotlight.

When this character was first created, he seemed to be guaranteed to be a very popular kid-appeal character. He was the son of Superman who had to live up to his father, one of the world’s greatest heroes. His design is anime-inspired and in-universe, he was even an anime fan. He had a pretty charming personality as the kid who meant well, but tended to screw up for one reason or another. He was created in the same mold as the likes of Gohan from Dragon Ball or Midorya from My Hero Academia. By all accounts, he should have been a bigger deal.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. In general, I think the comics that starred the character were not easily accessible to the general public. The Superman Rebirth comics are still loved by Superman fans, but they’re full of continuity baggage that only long time fans would have been able to understand. They also weren’t very kid friendly and featured a surprising amount of gruesome scenes. The Super-Sons comic was a little more accessible, but it was ultimately short lived and didn’t make that much of a splash. Recently DC has experimented with aging Jon Kent up and having him become the new Superman...which hasn’t been well received by fans and to be fair his comic series is kinda mediocre. Over time, I’ve realized that while I liked the basic ideas behind Jon Kent, I don’t really care for the character as he is outside of a couple of very specific comics. And one of those comics is a fanfic, so that should tell you how bad the character has it in the past few years.

The ‘Superman Family’ cartoon would have been the break that Jon Kent deserved as the cartoon would undoubtedly be more accessible to the general public. I think the character would have been in a very different place if the cartoon went through and became successful.

As for Superman himself, I feel like the cartoon would have actually delivered on the promises of the Rebirth Superman comics. When I first read those comics, I was excited because I wanted to see Superman deal with the complications of being a parent, and especially a parent to a super-powered son, and I was rather disappointed when the stories side-stepped that idea entirely and just had Superman as a perfect father figure. Perhaps the cartoon may have fixed that ? Who knows.

Now with the benefit of hindsight and after seeing the release of two new Superman series in ‘Superman and Lois’, and ‘My Adventures with Superman’, do I still think that the cartoon should have been made ? Probably.

I have to be honest, I much prefer ‘My Adventures with Superman’ and how it took a more classic, back-to-basics approach to the Superman mythos. I think that is much more refreshing compared to the twists that other Superman stories have tried to put on the formula. One the other hand, the ‘Superman Family’ cartoon probably would have been much better than ‘Superman and Lois’, which has a similar premise and started off very strong but slowly became worse as the show was overtaken by soap opera drama that was bad even for CW standards. I’d take a more light-hearted Super-family cartoon over that any day.

But Ultimately, the cartoon only exists as a “What if ?”, and I think it’s a shame that the pitch was passed up by the higher ups. It could have been a fun little cartoon that could have placed the spotlight of a bunch of underrated Superman characters.

[wedreamedlove]

To Live In A World - Light & Night Group Essay

Light and Night has an 18+ rating in China but, in my opinion, it's not for sexually suggestive scenes, it's for the topics they bring up that only individuals with solid worldviews can appreciate and discuss. One topic that comes up again and again is how an individual lives in the world: what makes someone choose to leave and what makes someone keep going?

Out of the 5 male leads in Light and Night, Sariel, Evan, and Osborn have tried to kill themselves. Charlie cannot even conceive of the idea of suicide, but he also discusses this topic and has his own coping methods to deal with suffering. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Jesse has the standard response that he can't give up on everything because of his responsibilities, his attachments, and his loved ones [SSR Prairie Fire DATE].

Trigger warning for discussions about suicide. Spoilers up to Chapter 19 and Charlie's 2023 birthday.

[SSR Escaping Into Dusk DATE]

Evan: "Do you know how to meet a mermaid?" His tone sounded like he was asking someone a question, but also like he was simply telling the opening of a story. Evan: "You have to swim to the bottom of the ocean—there it will turn pitch-black and blue skies will become a memory." Evan: "When you lie down in that silence and decide to become a part of it, mermaids will appear." Evan: "If your love is sincere and pure enough, they will accept you and take you away forever."

This story comes from The Big Blue and, in the context of Evan's date, refers to committing suicide. I think it's only fitting to start this essay with this haunting metaphor, and this also happens to be one of the times Evan tried to commit suicide during the period of his life when he enjoyed freediving.

TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER—

Since Evan opened this essay, we'll continue to talk about him. First, to understand what could drive someone to commit suicide, I will summarize Evan's background. He was born into a caring nuclear family that quickly disintegrated and so, at the tender age of 5, he lost the love and protection of both parents. Right after that, he was forced to go through the brutal training all Blood Clan members go through, such as survival training in the woods and the indoctrination of their superiority.

[SSR Secrets in the Shade DATE]

Evan: Yes, it was when I was a child and driven into the woods for the first time. Evan: I witnessed wild beasts hunting and escaped from the mouth of a snake. I felt that the forest was full of dangers and only wished to get out of there quickly. Evan: And, just when I was hungry and exhausted, I saw a bamboo mushroom. Evan: At the time, I didn't know what it was and whether or not it was poisonous. I looked at it and thought hopelessly that I might as well pluck it and eat it, and resign myself to my fate.

[SSR Illusionary Light - 14 Years Ago Fall TRAJECTORY]

I felt my pulse beating, ba-dump, ba-dump—and so I aimed the screwdriver at it and stabbed down hard. The second the blood spurted out I heard the sound of my soul drilling out too. It cheered and sang for the freedom and sunlight it waited for so long. I was a bit happy, because I discovered that my heavy body was gradually turning light. That feeling of being able to fly even without wings was addictive. The smell of blood was a strong fragrance and when it dripped onto the mud it even blossomed as a vivid flower. [...] This time no one would be able to stop my footsteps. When the blood ran out, I would be free.

[SSR Against One's Heart - 11 Years Ago Spring TRAJECTORY]

Whenever my body was spread open to be seasoned, I always prayed in my heart for rot to come. I think I would greet it with extraordinary calm and even a small smile. Of course, I would allow myself to retain a bit of sadness and this would be my last reverence and friendliness to life. I held this thought until the first spot of mold appeared on my body—I meant the fresh and still bleeding bowl-sized wound in my chest, large enough that my heart could almost fall out. There was no moment closer to death than now, however a long-lost fear suddenly grew crazily in my body until, in the end, I was defeated. I watched myself stuff cotton balls into my body, along with all my obsessions and wickedness, and the blood stuck them together, forming a new piece of flesh of its own. If death happened to arrive at this moment, he would surely laugh at my hypocrisy and cowardice. Fortunately, the dense night outside the window stretched in front of me like train tracks and I could even hear his departing footsteps that were too lazy to step over those tracks.

The Blood Clan ground away his individuality, his sentimentality, and his attachments. In his 1st birthday [SSR Enticing Feast DATE], Evan explains that all members of the Blood Clan are brought up to have no affections for anything but family. He couldn't be picky about his food, he could only read books that were approved, and his pet rabbit was killed. To make matters worse, Evan is also the black sheep of the Blood Clan. He cannot bring himself to be like them with their cruelty, arrogance, and depravity. He shares their instincts but he instinctively rebels against it and questions all of the Blood Clan values.

Can someone even be considered to be "living" in this existence? It's no wonder Evan doesn't think there's anything to keep him in this world, because he grew up without even knowing who "he" is as a person.

Despite all this though, Evan did manage to find a way to reconcile his self-destructive impulses. However, this answer is going to be left for the next section and, instead, we are going to move onto our next male lead who suffered, Osborn.

Much like Evan, Osborn was also born to a loving family that disintegrated, starting with his father leaving and ending with his mother's multiple attempts to abandon him before she finally succeeded. Once that happened, Osborn had no more attachments to this world and thought about how easy it would be for him to disappear without anyone noticing or caring. He grew up with this fear of being abandoned again and so was afraid to get close to anyone. This self-isolation was only exacerbated by the prejudice of people around him, who saw him as a juvenile offender, and made no attempts to understand him.

[SSR The 400 Blows TRAJECTORY - 14 Years Ago Early Spring]

I look forward, beyond anything else, to the moment I kill myself. At least this proves that, at the very end, before the world abandons me, I severed my relationship with it first.

[SSR The 400 Blows TRAJECTORY - 8 Years Ago Early Summer]

After waking up, he climbed to the edge of the rooftop and looked at the rusty red marks on the concrete floor that couldn't be washed away, like they were a silent accusation. So long as he jumped, he could escape everything. Will anyone grieve for me? Will anyone care about my death? Osborn blankly thought.

[SSR Free Fall TRAJECTORY - 6 Years Ago Early Winter]

He suddenly raised his hand and slashed at his own neck hard. However, the biting pain didn't bring a sense of relief. Instead, it hurt more.

[SSR Free Fall TRAJECTORY - 4 Years Ago Early Winter]

All my classmates had jumped and kept hurrying me. The waves grew larger and larger and I realized I really would die if I didn't jump. But there was an instant where I seriously had the idea of giving up. I thought about leaving things like this, because to me this had never been an act to survive but instead a punishment.

Freedom is a double-edged sword. In protecting himself by keeping others at a distance and not getting attached, Osborn had also walled himself off from the world. It was all too easy for him to be indifferent and flippant with his own life because he cherished nothing and believed that no one cherished him.

However, as we all know, people (and animals) did get under Osborn's defenses and became family members he took under his wing and who ended up binding him to this world. He also discovered his own way of reconciling with the world, which we will talk about in the next section.

The last suicidal man was Sariel. Unlike the others (except for Jesse), Sariel was born to a loving family and there were no tragedies in his childhood. Instead, it was the trauma of war in his early adulthood that brought him to despair. On the battlefield, he saw the cycle of hatred and revenge, what humans do at the extremes of desperation (cannibalism), massacred a village, and ultimately ended the life of someone he loved with his own hands. Everyone he knew and loved passed away, either due to circumstances or the long passage of time, and after fulfilling all of their leftover wishes he himself was left with nothing of his own but crushing survivor's guilt.

[SSR Meeting Spring FILM REEL - Undead Nightmare]

Sariel lay on the shore of the lake and it was unclear whether it was lake water or tears on his face. Sariel: Yet another failure. After that, Sariel tried countless times more. Since his talent would save him, then he would try even more drastic methods. However, his talent followed him relentlessly like a curse. Cut veins would heal, torn off limbs would be restored, and even his heart could recover its function after being pierced by a long blade.

Not mentioned above is how, for his first attempt, Sariel jumped off a cliff and his body was practically pulverized or how, in the scene prior to the translation, he tied himself to a rock and sank into the bottom of a lake to drown. Unlike the other men, Sariel would have truly ended his life on multiple occasions if it weren't for his talent, but since he couldn't die he became an empty husk that wandered the world instead, attempting to drown out his pain in vices like gambling and wine.

So now, after seeing how some of the men in Light and Night hit absolute rock bottom in their lives, how did they pick themselves up and walk all the way to the present to stand before us?

—TO SURVIVE IS TO FIND MEANING IN THE SUFFERING (GORDON W. ALLPORT)

As I have been mentioning, all the men in Light and Night were able to come to terms with living in this world, although it's arguable how "healthy" their coping methods are. In this section, I will not be listing the men in the order I introduced them, but rather by my opinion on the worst-to-best coping methods the men demonstrate. Naturally, this is an incredibly personal opinion and you do not have to agree with me at all. In fact, discussion would be happily welcomed!

First, we have Evan.

[SSR Escaping Into Dusk DATE]

Evan: Actually, it can't be called liking it. It's just that I was once a little addicted to the feeling of freediving. Evan: In a turbid world without sound, color, or light. Evan: You toss aside every tool and means and rely only on the limits of what the human body can do... Evan: It's true the pain brought on by this method is inevitable, but the freedom of the soul gained from this is very captivating. Evan: You will genuinely experience and truly reach your inherent limitations as a human being. Evan: And, in this process, you can also expand the limit of your boundaries bit by bit as much as possible. MC: It sounds like it's nearly walking on the edge of death. Evan: More or less. But it's certainly attractive, isn't it?

[SSR Secrets in the Shade DATE]

MC: When you're feeling down or that things are difficult, just fantasize about the wonderful life you'll have after achieving your goals. [...] Evan: After I achieve my goals? Evan: At that time, perhaps nothing will be important anymore.

There are two parts to Evan's reconciliation with the world. First, as I brought up in my essay "The Depth of his Feelings", I believe the way Evan flirts with death is a homage to traditional vampire literature and their attraction to their own death, but I also think this is a natural act of those who are suicidal and lost as a person. Owing to the Blood Clan, Evan questioned himself and his perception of the world, but nothing is quicker at grounding someone to this world than the undeniable physical sensation of their body's primal instinct to survive.

Second, Evan ended up becoming indifferent to death. Even though I'm mentioning Evan first for "unhealthy" coping methods, it's mostly directed at his near-death outlets, and I actually appreciate his acceptance of death. On that note, there isn't a contradiction here because, even if his body emotionally wants to survive, he has intellectually made peace with death.

Evan's view on death reminds me a lot of the Stoic ideal of the good death. The Stoics do not believe that death is anything to fear because everything comes to an end and, in fact, they believe that suicide is a choice and amoral. The door is always open to you if you choose to leave; the only caveat is that you must consider your circumstances seriously and make your decision logically and not on a rash and impulsive decision. For Evan, he calmly accepts death after he achieves his goal (of wiping out the Blood Clan) because, to him, his life would be complete and there would be nothing more for him in this world. It would be a good death. Evan's acceptance of his own death can also be seen in his 2nd anniversary card [SSR Yesterday's Elegy TRAJECTORY].

Alright, we've seen how Evan reconciled with the world, so now we're going to move onto Charlie.

[SSR To the Oracle DATE]

Charlie: Fiancée, freedom exists. Charlie: It's pain and sacrifice that let him feel the value of existence. [...] Because that person who treats pain as feeling the world and touches the weight of freedom is Charlie too. [...] Charlie: But they can't stop themselves from interacting with others. MC: Why do they have to be so persistent... Charlie: Because they still have hope for this world.

[SSR Solar Flare DATE]

Charlie: I cried terribly when I learned that he would never come back. Charlie: But when I grew up I gradually understood that maybe he had already decided to say goodbye to this world. Charlie: So long as people live they will get hurt. No one knows how much pain the seemingly optimistic and cheery people around them have endured alone. Charlie: Time couldn't heal his wounds and so he gave up on saving himself. I could hear the conflict in his heart. He was someone who clearly valued life a lot and always spared no effort in saving every single person. How many similar things had he gone through, how many helpless moments had he experienced, and how had he carried all of this to this day to stand in front of me... I had no way of imagining it. I could only hold his hand tightly to let him know that I was trying to understand how he felt. Charlie: The look in Myron's eyes before he was lifted into the ambulance made me feel that everything I had done just now might have been meaningless. Charlie: But I will still choose to save them. I can't explain why, maybe it's an instinct.

Like I mentioned, Charlie cannot even conceive of the idea of committing suicide but, ironically, he experiences the world through suffering. As a phoenix, he innately loves the world and its people, and that's why the injustices and despair in the world hurt him so much. So, how does he find an outlet for this pain?

[SSR Perpetual Journey Home TRAJECTORY - New Era 44 Late Autumn]

Charlie clenched his fist, making the tense veins in his arms and wrists bulge out before they submerged into his palm. His flat nails nearly dug hard enough into his skin to bleed. Only then did I suddenly notice that his broad palm was covered with crescent-shaped scars that curved in the same direction. The protruding white marks were old, but it was obvious they were quickly covered with new purple marks before they faded. MC: ... Don't hurt yourself. I placed my fingers on the tips of his fingers and tried to pry them away. But Charlie didn't loosen his hand. He bent his knuckles so hard that it seemed as if he was biting the skin of his palm painfully. And that pain actually entered my body through this touch. MC: Charlie, let go! I heard my own urgent voice, as well as the imaginary quiet sound of flesh being separated. His fingernails dug into his palm, which slowly began to turn red. MC: Charlie, I don't understand... I shook my head, tears staining my cheeks. I didn't understand why he had to torture himself like this. Or— I did understand, but I could only use this common logic to persuade him to stop harming himself. The glaring redness of his palm filled my mind like the shallows of a sea. I smiled bitterly. Wasn't pain just another way of breathing?

[SSR Under the Stigmata DATE]

He walked to my side and sat down, watching quietly as the boy turned back to plucking his black feathers, as if he had seen this done countless times. In a daze, I saw Charlie sitting there in a firefighter's uniform, his face covered with smoke and dust. And every time the boy plucked a feather, his expression that was on the verge of a breakdown softened a little, as if that action could relieve his pain. I also saw Charlie, wearing a white coat and looking exhausted. He sat there blankly, his hands still shaking slightly. I recognized this action, it meant that he had just completed a long operation. They all had the same contentment of pain on their faces. It dawned on me that this place, this house, might have been built by his father originally, and Charlie had also once destroyed it. But in the present, Charlie had built all of this by himself, brick by brick. Here, he overlooked the pain of his past, again and again, gaining the power to rebuild himself from it. I thought about how he found a way to use this pain, but this didn't mean that this pain no longer existed and I didn't want to see any Charlie trapped in it.

This is how Charlie reconciles with the world and his powerlessness. It reminds me of these tweets about trashed bathrooms and how, when people have no control over their life or environment, they will want to assert control over the small part of their environment that they still have the power to affect. In this case, what can you always affect? Yourself. In a way, this is somewhat similar to how Evan paces on the border of life and death, because not only does it make him feel alive but it also gives him control.

For Charlie, there are so many things that he cannot control in the world, especially other people's decision to take their own lives. He also lives under the extraordinary pressure and control of his father, who has been trying to mould Charlie into his perfect heir (and a god to rule this world?). By hurting himself, Charlie can be assured that he is still in control of his own life and his own decisions and this gives him the strength to pick himself up again and again, among all this suffering, to try and help more people.

You can probably see why I don't rate Charlie's method that highly either, because I don't advocate self-harm, haha. Next, after having seen Charlie's method, we move onto Sariel.

[SSR Seeing the Spring FILM REEL - The Mayfly]

Sariel (Phantom): Everything has a conclusion that you have no choice but to accept, regardless of whether it goes against your heart or not, or whether it hurts you or not. Sariel (Phantom): When this pain is too heavy, it's better to forget it than to confront it bruised and bloody. Sariel (Phantom): Living on relies not on redemption or reconciliation, but on forgetting. Sariel: Did you survive to that time just by forgetting? Sariel (Phantom): Yes. Sariel (Phantom): Rather than letting regret and pain erode your heart into an empty husk, it's better to forget everything. Sariel (Phantom): Live on, Sariel. Someone is waiting for you in the future.

As we saw earlier, Sariel would have succeeded in committing suicide if it weren't for his talent. This is why his coping method is to forget the weight of his pain before it drives him mad and turns him into something else. In this dialogue between himself, Sariel does question whether forgetting is just another way of escaping his pain, much like drinking; but, in my opinion, it's a valid choice to set aside the pain when you cannot handle it in the moment. Sariel sealed his power and memories away but, now that he has you to support him, he's unsealed his power and memories and has the strength to look back on his past and come to terms with everything with a less despairing outlook.

Lastly, we come to Osborn who, in my personal opinion, has the healthiest mindset.

[SSR Free Fall TRAJECTORY - 1 Year Ago Midsummer]

To be honest, I was disappointed in that moment. It was no different from any other rainbow that appeared somewhere after the rain. It was very beautiful, and very ordinary. The end of the rainbow was in fact just the end of the rainbow, and it was only my imagination of it that idealized it. But I still stared at it for a long time, until I found that the disappointment wasn't that terrible either. Because the world didn't care at all whether or not I was disappointed. Even if I never set foot on the road again because of this, the world wouldn't use anything I longed for to urge me to stay. After understanding this, I suddenly no longer gritted my teeth and fumed about disappointment. Because I discovered I had other things that could transcend disappointment: people who were willing to take risks with me when I took risks, and people who could understand my emotions that weren't understood.

The world being indifferent is supposed to be comforting, because it means that setbacks and disappointments aren't targeting you in particular. Successes are because of your own efforts and failures are because there were more uncontrollable elements than there were things you could affect.

Osborn internalizes this message and I believe it explains why he's such an active person. He has no expectations for the world and thus cannot be harmed by it any longer. He no longer needs to feel like he did in his childhood, about abandoning the world before it abandons him first. He managed to turn his independence from the world, which used to make him feel isolated, into one of his greatest strengths and it's also because he now has personal connections that bind him to the world by choice.

For my headings, I used a quote by Gordon Allport but, to be honest, I prefer the old Buddhist saying that "pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional" and, in my opinion, it reflects Osborn's perspective and why I, personally, think he has the healthiest relationship with the world. It's inevitable that there will be times when things don't go smoothly in your life and that you'll experience (physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual) pain, but it's your choice on whether to suffer during this period or not. Suffering is optional means you should realize the impermanence of this pain and if you can accept when things are out of your control, manage your expectations, and understand that whatever the world does externally to you does not affect your core as a person, then you will realize there are actually a lot of things you can overcome and that you need not dwell on them.

In the end, Light and Night is a game about hope and all the characters are growing, hopefully including the players who are following all of these characters in their journey. I also really like how the game doesn't affix one theme to one character, but instead approaches a theme from multiple angles through all the characters because, in this case, there is no right or wrong answer on how to live a life in this world. But, hopefully, seeing how hard these characters struggle to keep living can also provide some courage to those who are struggling and searching for their own path.

[17meltedcandles]

Beauty Standards and Tax Brackets

The more money you have, the more access you have to fit the beauty standard (fitness plans, surgery, brands, dyes/colored contacts).

And we’ve seen this link between wealth and beauty as long as we can remember.

- Aztecs putting jewels in their teeth

- Plump bodies in Ancient Greece to signify health (and access to it)

- Small feet in 1949 China, (show of wealth and proper petty as you could afford to not work)

- Fatness in medieval times to show the prosperity of meat and food

And the list continues on until today. Now we see slim bodies, well built, shiny hair, glad skin, doll lashes, plump ass, perky boobs. Usually, most of the time, these features come from surgeries, diets, specific ointments, trainers, appointments. And money.

The funny part is the more money you have, the more influence you have. Setting the beauty standard all over again.

There’s also a huge disconnect when someone naturally has these traits without having the money. They get called lucky to not have to spend so much money, they get preyed upon for their looks or sometimes get payed for it.

The opposite happens as well. When someone insanely rich is unattractive, they often get criticisms and many many comments about their looks and wealth.

This is also seen in literature. The Rich Mafia boss, the hot CEO, the Billionaire’s son, the Handsome Prince. All of these books push the narrative of wealth and almost always have a conventionally attractive man as the wealthy man.

This is not to suggest that I think ALL ugly people are poor or that ALL rich people are attractive. But just to comment on the beauty standard and how it just so happens to keep molding with the standards of wealth we’re seeing. Is it more expensive to hit the gym and eat greens? Slim bodies are the body standard. Does an influential figure have Doll eyes and a million bucks? Big doll eyes are back.

Simply observations :)

[the-monkey-ruler]

hi, I don't know if you've heard about “Journey to the West: The Real and Fake Monkey King”, starring the actor of the monkey king from 1986? This year only the poster came out and from what I saw the project is somewhat controversial.

Oh yeah I've been hearing about this one! I think this might be part of the Monkey King 2014 verse but I'm not sure as the summary of the movie seemed to have changed.

I’ve only found websites that talk about the synopsis, do you mind telling me where you saw this? Unless you are talking about Liu Xiao Ling Tong himself as he is kinda seen as a.... purist I think is the right word to use. He has become kinda a meme in recent years as he is very judgemental of Sun Wukong adaptions that do not fit his mold of what he thinks the Monkey King represents, "Parodies should not be nonsense, adaptations should not be groundless recreations" and even advocated for laws banning parodies of classics.

"The sensation of Liuxue started when a cohort of trolls poked fun at Zhang’s years-long attempt to increase his relevance after starring as Sun Wukong 孙悟空, a.k.a. the Monkey King, in a 1986 television adaption of Journey to the West (西游记 Xīyóujì). The role is widely regarded as the pinnacle of Zhang’s acting career. Seeing generally tepid reception to his subsequent works, Zhang morphed into an objectively annoying celebrity who perennially dwells on his best-received performance, constantly boasting about his legacy and attaching his entire worth on the original novel and its variations, a cultural heritage to which Zhang only made a relatively small contribution.But unlike other sellout artists, Zhang went so far that people are now questioning his sanity. It’s documented that, at certain speaking engagements, he branded himself as the only person alive who can offer definitive interpretations of the original Journey to the West. At the funeral of Yang Jie 杨洁, director of the 1986 TV adaption, Zhang filmed a video promoting an upcoming movie where he plays the character again."

In any case, he does seem to be extreme in his views but I can't say if he is considered to be controversial moreso eccentric. While I don't agree with him and I do like the advocacy of laws banning parodies is borderline ludicrous, I can't say that he actually has any power or persuasion to make these realities. I can see why he is treated more as a joke/meme as what he is saying is impossible as there have been more adaptions than ever before. I hope that if he does get this movie made then at least his actors are paid well and that the movie production itself goes smoothly.

If this wasn't what you were talking about please let me know what you hear! Would love to know what’s going on!