#i can rarely decide what to focus on ughhh

[thegoldenavenger]

Little Fic Bits, WIPs, and Starts for SVSSS. Just a collection of ideas that I've started writing and am still kicking around, got stuck on, need reworking, or whatever. Unedited (as always) ♡ / mostly various iterations of binghe, sqq, and lqg / there's nothing too bad here content wise I think?

Pacific Rim AU

Shen Yuan wakes up to an aching head and an unfamiliar ceiling. He feels slightly off, his body an ache but an ache he isn't used to. The walls are concrete and the bed underneath him is hard. A hospital?

"Shen Qingqiu?" A voice swims up, breaking through his dazed scrutiny of the thin sheet covering him. His hands are elegant and callused.

"Are you okay? Qingqiu—"

Shen Yuan's hand is being held. He follows the line of hand to arm, to shoulder, to the man sitting next to him. He is handsome, tall, and looking at him with a concern that is as foreign to Shen Yuan as the room he's in, as the body he is increasingly aware of.

It's entirely reflex that has him pulling his hand back. The man lets it slip through his fingers.

"What... happened?" Shen Yuan asks.

"Do you not remember?" At this, Shen Yuan glares and the expression molds to his face like a glove. The man next to him, paradoxically, smiles. "It's good to see that you're feeling better."

The door opens and another man walks into the room holding a tablet. He has glasses and a lab coat and Shen Yuan instinctively pegs him as a doctor.

"You're up." The doctor says with mild surprise before nodding his head in greeting. "Shen Qingqiu, Yue Qingyuan."

"Mu Qingfang." The man—Yue Qingyuan—returns the greeting.

Mu Qingfang subjects Shen Yuan to an examination: looking at his pupil dilation, asking him to track his fingers, simple memory recall. He has Shen Yuan sit up so he can look at the burns on his neck and down his spine.

Shen Yuan, in the flight of fancy all young book-inclined children go through at one point or another, had resolved to act with dignity if he ever woke up in a fantastical situation. He hadn't ever really thought he'd become a—what? Chosen one? But stranger things happened in the books he liked reading, so he decided that if he ever walked through a wardrobe, or got hit by a truck, or passed some nameless threshold and became a xianxia transmigrator his first actions would be to not gape in stupefied amazement and ask suspicious, leading questions.

This is decidedly not xianxia ancient China, no matter how handsome the two men with him are, but he would still like to keep that childish promise to himself. If only Yue Qingyuan or Mu Qingfang would explain anything to him, that would make his position a bit easier.

Shen Qingqiu was, Shen Yuan was learning, a bit of a bitch. When Shen Yuan walks into the cafeteria, the idle chatter quiets down. In more than one case, several small groups of two or three all stand up and rush to sit at a table together as if terrified he will pick them to sit next to. The feeling is so unsettling when he first encounters it, Shen Yuan grabs the first thing he can get his hands on and leaves the mess hall entirely.

The staff avoid him, the trainees flinch away from him. The other senior members often act as though interacting with him will be a chore. Yue Qingyuan, who has rarely seen fit to let Shen Yuan walk alone, carries himself with such subdued guilt Shen Yuan feels a little like squishing him just to see if Yue Qingyuan will make a different face. Mu Qingfang offers all of his medical advice with the air of someone bracing himself.

Even after Shen Yuan has reluctantly allowed Mu Qingfang to speculate that he has suffered some memory loss from the incident that had landed him in the medical facilities, his reception is a stilted one. It helps, Shen Yuan thinks, that this body remembers its mannerisms well enough. He finds himself instictually reacting to certain stimuli in specific ways: Yue Qingyuan's apologetic voice makes Shen Yuan's—Shen Qingqiu's—face sneer; not hearing someone enter a room behind him and getting caught unaware makes him freeze first and then glare, blood itching to hiss a vitriolic remark.

He finds that some impulses are quite easy to lean into. The venomous tongue he'd used to weild devastating criticism lends itself well to the acerbic remarks Shen Qingqiu is apparently known for. His face, never that expressive before, has reached a new level of stoic apathy.

The face thing, specifically, helps him in the days it takes for him acclimate. Not only does he have an entirely new body, and an entirely new life, but he's in an entirely new world. The casual reliance on technology he's never seen before, the vaguely unrealistic military structure of the personnel around him, it all makes him suspect he has definitely transmigrated instead of just bodyswapping, or reincarnating.

He has his freak outs behind his closed doors, presents an aloof face to his peers when Mu Qingfang or Yue Qingyuan visit him to make sure he is recovering well, and nearly brains himself when Yue Qingyuan walks with him into the Central Headquarters for a meeting debriefing the incident he was involved in.

Because the meeting room has a wall entirely made of glass facing the bay of what is, now, unmistakably the Shatterdome. It is unmistakable because they are currently in the middle of repairing a huge, hulking, mecha which Shen Yuan recognizes from the gold-tier extras of his favorite hate-read Pacific Infinite Drift War.

Yue Qingyuan? Mu Qingfang? Shen Qingqiu??? Now he recognizes those names! Three of the twelve founding members of the Shatterdome, then called Cang Qiong, who invented the Pons technology that enabled the fantastically wild mecha battlesuits used to fight monsters in PIDW. It took so long because PIDW was set decades past this point. Long after Cang Qiong was flattened by the increasing threat of Monsters and the survivors rebuilt under the Shatterdome.

Only a handful of the original founders had survived to have any present role in the novel very early on in the prologue chapters. Luo Binghe, an orphan after a monster attack flattened his home town, was picked up by one of the founders Liu Qingge. Brought back to the newly built Shatterdome, six year old Luo Binghe resolved to become one of the mecha pilots trying to save humanity. He only had fleeting interaction with the old guard, Shen Qingqiu was briefly mentioned as an unpleasant and exacting master who berated Luo Binghe during synchronization tests.

At some point, Luo Binghe had been trapped near the rift allowing monsters through and sacrificed himself to carry a missile into it, hopefully closing it for good. He succeeded, discovered the rift was an opening to space, used his mecha to pilot away from the monster world and stumbled into a wide, wide galaxy of very fuckable alien women.

There the story devolved into a very flat, new woman of the week, space opera following Luo Binghe's journey through the galaxy ostensibly trying to find his way home but mostly finding himself in the bed of a new woman.

There were so many interesting things set up in those first chapters though! The mechas themselves were designed to be piloted by at least two people, sharing a neural link to help spread the load of operating such a behemoth. That neural link facilitated mind-to-mind communication between the pilots! The monsters were fascinating pieces of xenospec creature design, Shen Yuan had a great time speculating how their world worked in those beginning chapters.

The character plots set up in the beginning had been intriguing as well. Now that Shen Yuan had a reason to, he dug up his vague recollection of the intro characters. Shen Qingqiu, foreboding and always too hard on Luo Binghe's inability to synchronize with the mechs and establish a neural link despite himself being a technician and not a pilot. Yue Qingyuan's world-weary countenance having lived through almost half of his peers dying under his watch, latching on to those surviving with a guilt complex you could see from space. Mu Qingfang, a sharply brilliant multi-purpose doctor who was, of course, specialized in an unrealistic amount of disciplines and who seemed just as curious about the monster's as Shen Yuan was.

The others, Qi Qingqi, Wei Qingwei, Shang Qinghua, and Liu Qingge, were all unfortunately abandoned with very little character development which should have been Shen Yuan's first clue towards how this novel was going to go. Qi Qingqi was the token girl, and though Shen Yuan had hoped her position as one of the transitional trainers overseeing the mental preparations for synchronization trials she had been outshown by even Shen Qingqiu's meager appearances in the beginning chapters. Wei Qingwei was the head mechanical engineer and that is where his personality ended. Shang Qinghua had an interesting habit of conversing with Mu Qingfang about the monsters threatening humanity, but he disappeared (literally! He stopped being mention at all. Shen Yuan was fairly certain the author forgot about him) right before Luo Binghe went through the rift. Liu Qingge had a devastating neural accident sometime after picking up Luo Binghe but before the protagonist ever even got in a mecha!

Luo Binghe's relationships with his fellow trainees, were, of course, cut short when he went through the rift. The sweet spring romance between Luo Binghe and Ning Yingying was forever stalled! The antagonistic bullying from senior Ming Fan and Luo Binghe's determination to prove himself was never resolved!

And it would be too much to ask for any fleshing out of the many alien women Luo Binghe met post rift! No! All the substance they provided was in the interest of sex scenes that were, frankly, mediocre and under utilizing of the rich setting they were placed in.

Even the original conceit of the novel, the brain-linked mechas, got nerfed when Luo Binghe discovered he could pilot one by himself early on in the first arc.

So, Shen Yuan thought it was very understandable that it had taken him this long to recognize the world he was now in. What a treat! He was here for the actual development of the mechas! He would be seeing the prequel! Though, if his timeline estimate was correct he was nowhere close to seeing the surely adorable protagonist Luo Binghe, the alure of uncovering in all those plot holes and missing character scenes he'd been craving was really making up for it.

"Shen Qingqiu?" That was Yue Qingyuan.

"Maybe we were too hasty holding this meeting now is Shen Qingqiu is still having difficulties." That was a woman's voice—Qi Qingqi?

"Xuan Su is expected to be repaired with no difficulty," Another man's voice, deeper than Yue Qingyuan's. "Your quick thinking saved many of the delicate electronics."

"I'm quite fine." Shen Yuan—Shen Qingqiu—responds. "I just wasn't expecting..." He doesn't mean to let himself trail off but he's starting to remember, vaguely, as if remembering watching a scene from a movie, the screens of the mechas cockpit going staticky with overload and

---

Undertale AU

Shen Yuan wakes up on a bed of greenery after a particularly hard fall.

The cavern he's in is dark, except for the path of light hes lying in. He can't see the cave walls but he can feel how large it is in the way the fine hairs on the back of his neck raise. Looking up he can distantly see the hole he must have fallen down.

The quiet is so complete he can hear his blood rushing in his ears.

And then a flower blooms right in front of him: a lotus on land. It's petals are thick and a rich black as they spread open in front of his eyes. Nestled between the green shoots of bamboo Shen Yuan is lying in the lotus rises and tilts to face him. There's a face in the center of the flower.

----

Shen Qingqiu decides that if LBH and LQG are going to be stupid about him, he's going to not!date-date them both

He realised, abruptly, that they were waiting for him to choose. Between them. What was this? A game with him as a prize to win? They never ask him outright, though, and really that makes this their problem. The competitions, the peacocking, that's all on them.

He decides that he will not choose. Maybe that's selfish of him, but aren't they also being selfish? They keep acting as though his every decision carries the weight of the mountain to them. Well, he simply will not decide between them. If they're fine pushing each other back and forth with him as their referee then so be it. He's keeping them both.

----

[Liu Qingge Moshang Situationship because the BingLiuShen ship has Not Yet Sailed]

It doesn't escape his notice that he's being loaned out like livestock. On Junshang's whim no less. Shen Qingqiu smiles and then covers that smile with the fan Liu Qingge returned to him. "It would really be appreciated, shidi. This master would want to be there myself with Binghe if we weren't caught up here."

"You should be where your sect needs you regardless." He says, crossing his arms.

Luo Binghe hisses at him from where he's hovering like a gargoyle. Shen Qingqiu shushes him and delivers his final, devastating conversational blow: "Liu-shidi is the only one I can trust in the absence of me and my husband."

As always, Shen Qingqiu manages to hit his target two-fold. As always, Liu Qingge does what he's asked.

He thinks Shen Qingqiu won't ever forgive him for saying Luo Binghe had died at Maigu Ridge.

---

[They're all gods prologue]

He is the breakthrough. The final push. The turning of tides. The culmination. He has never failed to turn a lost cause into victory, there has never been a battle lost to him if he means to win it.

He is Liu Qingge.

Gods are not mortals, they do not change. He expected to be this way forever. Until the very fabric of the world crumbled and decayed. He never expected to change.

There is a story that exists, of a mortal who built a shrine because he was without hope. Cursed with tragedy for a bloodline he did not even know of, his every move was rife with misfortune. The shrine was built and caught the eye of Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge's god-brother of Bitter Autumn and Uneven Ground.

Liu Qingge wasn't aware of it at the time, but Shen Qingqiu caused some sort of mischief with the mortal and his shrine. It only becomes relevant later, when the shrine becomes a God itself under the mortal's own care.

Because Liu Qingge finds that new God, reeking of Shen Qingqiu's spiritual power but being so clearly new and naive. It takes the mortal under its wing and raises it up, like a pet.

And like a scorpion placed amongst frogs that little pet tears the heavens apart. Demonic blood festers the spiritual purity of heaven.

Liu Qingge, War God of Breakthroughs, goes through a Crucible and changes into the God of (pine trees) Endless Reliability. Of cyclical mundaniety. [This became that Everyone Is a God ficket outline thing]

---

[Lion, Tiger, Fair]

Liu Qingge is used to have Shen Qingqiu's undivided attention. The man enters the forest on soft feet, the layers of green robes swaying around him. He takes his time observing the new growth, the small animals, the spiritual pathways that Liu Qingge cultivates. Then Shen Qingqiu will find a nice spot and sit, sometimes he will meditate or cultivate, but often he will write notes in one of his field journals.

Liu Qingge will interrupt him then; striding out of the forest with mist on his paws.

Shen Qingqiu will lift his face up at him, a delighted smile breaking across it.

Like sunlight.

Liu Qingge will gracefully entertain his forests guest, sometimes he will lead Shen Qingqiu to a new surprise, or herd rare animals towards him. Q [drew a comic instead of writing OTL]

----

[LQG accidentally-on-purpose seduces Bingqiu]

Liu Qingge accepts Shen Qingqiu's marriage announcement with about as much dignity as can be expected of a war God brought to his limits every day for five years.

"You!" He shouts, alighting upon the verdant knoll of Qing Jing Peak. Cheng Luang sheathes itself as he lands in front of Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu stiffens and Luo Binghe pulls his master back from Liu Qingge's approach, as if preparing to perform some evasive maneuvers.

"... Me." Shen Qingqiu replies, evenly.

"When?" Liu Qingge demands, crossing his arms.

There's a moment where it looks as if Shen Qingqiu will prevaricate and Liu Qingge will have to figure out his words in a more orderly manner, but halfway through Qing Jing Peak's Lord just sighs.

"A few months," he says.

"Three months and eight days," Luo Binghe clarifies.

Liu Qingge looks at Luo Binghe, half a snarl on his face before turning back to Shen Qingqiu. "You didn't say anything." He accuses.

"This one was trying to avoid an argument." Shen Qingqiu says, his eyebrow an elegant arch.

Liu Qingge's hands were already fisted. There wasn't much more tightly that he could clench them before something gave so he forced them to relax.  The tension gathering in his shoulders and spine reflexively loosens as well when he makes himself breathe deeply. Shen Qingqiu's face is a mask of impassivity, as always, but his hand is hooked into Luo Binghe's sleeve.

For as much as Luo Binghe looks ready to physically push Liu Qingge back if his Shizun—his husband, Liu Qingge reminds himself—wishes him to, Shen Qingqiu looks as equally ready to stand his ground. It takes Liu Qingge a moment longer than it probably should to realise that both of them are expecting a fight.

Of course Luo Binghe does; Liu Qingge has done precious little but fight the demon lord. But that Shen Qingqiu also expects it of him is... Liu Qingge blinks and shakes his head.

"There was gossip. I just came to hear it from you."

"Well then, you've heard it now.  We're married." Shen Qingqiu takes the moment to find and thread his fingers through Luo Binghe's. The demon lord's expression turns into one of puppyish devotion.

Liu Qingge nods decisively and uncrosses his arms to grab Cheng Luan in its sheath. Shen Qingqiu and his husband tense again, Shen Qingqiu even opens his mouth halfway ready to say something—stop? Liu Qingge's jaw clenches. Surely Shen Qingqiu doesn't think so badly of this Bai Zhan Peak Lord as to expect him to attack a martial brother's husband unprovoked?

Liu Qingge removes his hand from his sheath, hoping his face doesn't look as surprised or as stung as he feels. He blows all the air in his lungs out in a displeased grunt. Later he will do some reflection on his own actions, for Shen Qingqiu to suddenly mistrust him.

"Congratulations." He says instead and turns on his heel to walk an appropriate distance before drawing Cheng Luan to fly him back to his Peak.  He doesn't look back; he knows already that he'd only see Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe staring at each other.

The problem is that Liu Qingge, in those years he'd grown closer to Shen Qingqiu, had developed the habit of finding things. Yes, Shen Qingqiu's fans and various beasts Shen Qingqiu had mentioned. But also other things, here and there.  When driving off some manner of demonic dread from a village, he'd spied one of the villagers wearing their hair up with an elegantly died ribbon, who, after seeing Liu Qingge's interest, had insisted on him taking it in thanks for his service.

The ribbon was promptly given to Shen Qingqiu.

"Afterall, I have no use for it." Liu Qingge had said to the man.

"Yes, and this master supposes rejecting it all together would have been too rude of my shidi to consider."  Liu Qingge had let that accusation sit.

Not only the ribbon but books and scrolls, old and well preserved parchment, jewelry, wall hangings, fan ornaments, some hair crowns, a stray length of spider moth silk... anything he'd come across that reminded him of Shen Qingqiu and his strange inclinations.

With Shen Qingqiu's dead body out of reach and losing his battles daily, Liu Qingge had still somehow found time to keep this collection of would-be gifts growing. What did Liu Qingge have of his dearly departed shixiong except the little pieces of him Liu Qingge found himself seeing in the world around him.

With Shen Qingqiu back, alive, Liu Qingge could give those trinkets and treasures properly. He had been, though even Liu Qingge knew he couldn't dump five or more year's worth of grief filled collecting on Shen Qingqiu. However, there was a difference between giving your shixiong a book he might like and giving a married man an expensive jeweled guan—even if the jewels could be tracked to originate from a blue-kingfisher-wolf spider, which Shen Qingqiu had once filled an evening waxing poetic upon.

So. The problem: Liu Qingge has been giving gifts to a man in a committed relationship. Moreover, Liu Qingge has done something to make Shen Qingqiu wary of him. Mistrustful in ways not shown for a decade or more. He doesn't believe the two are inherently related, but he supposed the solution should be the same.

He needs to find a wedding gift for Shen Qingqiu and his husband.

That should prove to Shen Qingqiu that Liu Qingge, if not approving of the marriage, refuses to impede it. He doesn't want Shen Qingqiu to look at him like a threat. He isn't one, anyways. He can and would fight Luo Binghe again, could likely put up enough resistance to annoy the man even, but Liu Qingge couldn't defeat him once in five years. Whether for Shen Qingqiu's attentions or any other matter Luo Binghe bothers himself with, Liu Qingge doubts he factors as a concern at all.

The unfortunate part is that Liu Qingge has to find a gift that will please not only Shen Qingqiu but Luo Binghe as well. It cannot be a token gift. Liu Qingge is, also unfortunately, not well suited towards thinking of things others will like, to say nothing about Luo Binghe in specific. Half the reason he has collected so many things for Shen Qingqiu are because of how little he needs to think about it.

Shen Qingqiu is obvious in his affections and disparagements. He loves books and bestiaries and historical nonsense. He likes fine and well crafted adornments. He's fond of specific snacks and teas and serving sets. His fan collection is varied and large. It is very easy to walk into a city market and see green silks or a lauded tome and think: Shen Qingqiu would like this.

It's even easier to size up the monster of the day and decide whether to dismember it, kill it cleanly, or shove it in a bag for Shen Qingqiu's pinched and slightly disapproving face.

Somehow, Liu Qingge doubts that Luo Binghe would appreciate the same.

Still, he must try.

He supposes the traditional gift would be to celebrate their joint household.  Luo Binghe did not spend almost eight years consolidating power just to shove Shen Qingqiu into some favored courtyard somewhere. No, the man had been determined to approach as an equal and to create a partnership based in equal powers. That he had gone so far as to stake claim in two realms and crown himself an Emperor was surely a sign of how much he idolized the Qing Jing Peak Lord. That he has all but abandoned his Demon Palace for a relatively humble bamboo house continues to reflect that his devotion, at least, has not diminished.

Liu Qingge is perhaps disadvantaged at knowing what one would welcome as a home gift. His own house on Bai Zhan is spare and he had left his home among mortals far younger than it would take to make him pay attention to and remember the furniture surrounding him. 

Shen Qingqiu liked tea... perhaps a new tea table?

Liu Qingge isn't nervous. His plan is simple and straightforward: give the wedding gift and show Shen Qingqiu that he will not... do whatever Shen Qingqiu is worried that he's capable of. The stakes are obvious as well. Either Shen Qingqiu and his husband accept the wedding gift and understand that Liu Qingge means to be friendly and not hostile to both of them; They accept the gift but either do not accept or do not understand his intentions behind it; Or they do not accept the gift and therefore reject him completely.

Only the latter is insurmountable, and even then it just means distancing himself from the couple. Shen Qingqiu has not stepped down from Peak Lord, so Liu Qingge will still be in his life. This little social number is nothing like watching Shen Qingqiu's lifeless body fall too far for him to do anything about it. It's only Shen Qingqiu's regard for Liu Qingge that is in question today, and therefore, Liu Qingge has nothing to worry about. Any outcome is better than Shen Qingqiu dead.

Kicking the doorframe to announce himself is a habit so deeply ingrained that he automatically does it as he steps up onto the bamboo porch.  He shakes his head in mild dismay. That will put neither Shen Qingqiu nor Luo Binghe in an especially receptive mood. Oh well.

As he waits for a reception he shifts his grip on the thin qiankun box he had packed the gift into. Though plain it is cleverly made, and he hopes its utilitarian design can be useful outside of its original purpose.

A gift of this much importance should be fitted inside a more comely presentation, but Liu Qingge found he didn't have the face for picking out a more suitable container. Imagining giving Shen Qingqiu and his husband one of those elaborately carved or lacquered gift boxes made him want to fight a waterfall.

He debates kicking the door again, as the wait draws on. Instead he puts the box on the porch by the door. He had used one of his polishing oils to help condition the wood of the box and the grain doesn't look terrible with the bamboo of the house. 

With a sigh he retreats from the peak and waits to see the result of his overture.

He is rewarded when Shen Qingqiu invites him for tea several days later.

"Liu-Shidi," the man greets when Liu Qingge steps into Shen Qingqiu's home. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to recieve you the other day."

Liu Qingge makes a noise of acknowledgement. Shen Qingqiu ushers him inside and gestures him towards the area he usually hosts in. There, sitting on one of Shen Qingqiu's existing tea tables, is a new wet tea tray.

After meditating for many fruitless days, it was a fight that had sparked an idea in Liu Qingge. A quiet road to an isolated village was being stalked by a demonic wandering tree. The tree hadn't been much of an issue for Liu Qingge, but as he'd finished delimbing the trunk, he'd been struck by the way it's sap had stained the pale wood like blood. It had nearly been the same hue as Luo Binghe's demonic crest.

After searching markets and craftsmen, Liu Qingge had finally found a piece of seasoned wood of an appropriate size while night hunting closer to the borderlands. He'd taken it to an expert, to be sure, and it was determined to be from one of the milder variants of man eating tree: the Oxblood Heart Eating Tree.

It was characterized by it's deep and rich blood red wood tone, it's equally bloody diet, and, more importantly, its lack of innate toxic qualities. In fact the wood purified liquids fed through it, and it was a popular and expensive building material.

The piece he had found had been carved into a spectacular show piece: the dips and valleys at once resembling the top down view of mountains and clouds and the stepped banks of a tranquil pond. Accents stood stark against the deep red wood made from bamboo: an elegant crane in flight, the delicate wispy clouds flowing into a wreath of lotus blossoms.

It combines Shen Qingqiu's aesthetic senses and Luo Binghe's bold color palette quite well, Liu Qingge had thought.�� Now, settled in Shen Qingqiu's home, Liu Qingge thinks it again. It doesn't look out of place, but the deep red isn't a very common color theme and it draws the eye almost forcefully.

Liu Qingge seats himself as Shen Qingqiu bids him to and they are joined quite readily by Luo Binghe with such timing Liu Qingge can't help thinking the demon lord must have been waiting for his cue at the kitchen threshold.

Liu Qingge is served quite good tea by Shen Qingqiu and, to Liu Qingge's quiet surprise, a small selection of tea snacks Luo Binghe usually reserves for Shen Qingqiu only. At first, Liu Qingge almost suspects a trick, that the moment his hand moves to try one of the delicately steamed cakes Luo Binghe will have snatched it away for his Shizun's pleasure instead. However, the tea cake makes it all the way to Liu Qingge's mouth and he can't mask the noise of surprise he makes at its taste. It's very good.

Even Luo Binghe's look of smug satisfaction doesn't dampen the pleasant flavor.  With Shen Qingqiu's selection of tea, the combination is very good.

Shen Qingqiu keeps up an idle conversation as they drink the tea finish the snacks. He blithely comments on his recent mission, the annoying debrief, a new recipe Luo Binghe had tried, some reports of a beast Liu Qingge may be interested in, and some light gossip. Liu Qingge contributes as much as he ever does: nodding or humming in appropriate places and asking one word questions when something catches his attention. Luo Binghe is much more solicitous, for all that he must have heard these same words before.

Liu Qingge thanks Shen Qingqiu for the invitation when the tea runs out. He also, perhaps unsubtly, makes it a point to thank Luo Binghe as well. The gratitude wants to stick in his throat but the way Shen Qingqiu smiles, before hiding it with his fan, reassures Liu Qingge that he had approached this correctly.

"Thank you for the gift," Shen Qingqiu finally says, once they've all stood and Liu Qingge is getting ready to leave.

"One could almost think it too much," Luo Binghe snipes. Shen Qinqiu sighs at him but doesn't censure him.

"Wedding gifts are supposed to be ostentatious," Liu Qingge answers, cautious.

"Ah!" Shen Qingqiu's exclamation is barely an exhalation of breath, hidden behind the snap of his fan except for Liu Qingge's cultivation supported hearing. "On our anniversary, too... shidi you are surprisingly thoughtful."

"I don't know about that," Luo Binghe says, as Liu Qingge steps away from Shen Qingqiu's gesticulating fan.

Liu Qingge shoots him a glare, but doesn't argue with him. Liu Qingge had not been thinking about the timing of his gift at all, afterall. Still, he will take the good favor from Shen Qingqiu all the same.

"Hush, Binghe." Shen Qingqiu scolds his husband. "It's a lovely gift. Thank you."

Liu Qingge nods and makes a tactical escape. As is becoming a new habit, he waits until he is out of easy combat range to mount Cheng Luan and fly away. For an immortal master and demon lord this means he stomps through a fair bit of Qing Jing Peak's bamboo forest before he can leave properly.

Shen Qingqiu, at least, seems to relax. Whatever Liu Qingge had done to make him wary seems to have rested after Liu Qingge's wedding gift.  Luo Binghe is the same, and not any worse, so Liu Qingge decides that his plan worked.

Phase two is put into motion.

This, once again unfortunately, means thinking too much about things Luo Binghe may like.  At least this is simpler as he just has to match the items he already wants to give to Shen Qingqiu. A length of jade colored diaphanous wooly reindeer silk is paired with a bolt of northern desert wolf wool. A bestiary local to one of the rare wandering realms is accompanied by a book detailing the surprisingly nuanced demon cuisine in one of the regions on the borders of the demon realm. 

By the time he finds himself hacking at the poison backed ruby pangolin because the ruby-like crystals decorating its bony plates of armor would look quite well in a hair crown next to the one he already has for Shen Qingqiu, Luo Qingge is already past the point of despair. It's fun, finding things things for Luo Binghe.

So far, neither Luo Binghe nor Shen Qingqiu protest Liu Qingge's continued spate of his perhaps maladaptive coping mechanism through gift giving. Shen Qingqiu is pleased in fact, if the quick flash of smile Liu Qingge catches before the snap of a fan opens is any indication.  The degree the man's cheek lifts, the squint of his curved eyes, increases with each new matched gift shoved towards Luo Binghe. 

For his part, Luo Binghe is starting to look less apprehensive. Instead he looks confused when Liu Qingge presses something new into his hands and it turns out to be something pleasant instead of a trick. As if Liu Qingge had ever stooped to tricks in the first place. Infuriating man.

The challenge of finding things that not only match or compliment gifts he has already chosen for Shen Qingqiu, but also manage to suit Luo Binghe's tastes settles well on Liu Qingge's shoulders. He may mostly be known for fighting, but he's also a hunter. He can be patient and observant, when he wants to be.

The knowledge of what Shen Qingqiu likes had eased into him almost against his will. Taking tea with him, cleansing his meridians, still suspicious of his motives and plans for his sudden change of personality, Liu Qingge hadn't meant to find out what Shen Qingqiu liked. At the time he had been so hyper aware of Shen Qingqiu's every move that he had cataloged everything for fear that he would miss the tell-tale sign of duplicitous intent.

So when his hand twitched towards the tanghulu stand on one of their missions together because he knew Shen Qingqiu liked sweets, well. He was surprised at himself for knowing.

Luo Binghe though, did not give his preferences up so easily.  Liu Qingge would watch him slide the embroidered silk of a new sash between his fingers and compare the tilt of his eyebrows to the face he makes when serving his husband tea. When Luo Binghe made a half-aborted noise at a well shaped wooden serving board to accompany Shen Qingqiu's new set of dipping bowls, Liu Qingge had to cross reference it with the pleased noise the demon makes when Shen Qingqiu makes a benign request.

Shen Qingqiu slides choice cuts of meat into Luo Binghe's bowl and Liu Qingge has to decide whether the resulting countenance is because Luo Binghe favors the meal or his Shizun's attention more. Liu Qingge chases after Luo Binghe's reactions like a hunter picking its way through a deer trail.

Luo Binghe does not like gifts of jade jewelry—that's the biggest loss Liu Qingge has encountered so far in this endeavor. Even Shen Qingqiu had winced when Luo Binghe pulled out the token. Liu Qingge had seen it and thought that it reminded him of Shen Qingqiu and subsequently that Luo Binghe might think so as well. It was a poor gift.

In his defense, other jewelry and decoration have been fine. Blood colored earrings, silver cuffs, hammered metal vambraces. Even, on one nostalgic occasion, a bamboo embroidered belt coupled with golden weights. The belt was black silk, the bamboo picked out in shades of red, so perhaps that is why it passed muster. (Liu Qingge had given Shen Qingqiu a matching belt this time made to compliment Luo Binghe's: all white with silver and pale green embroidery but the design was very obviously patterned in Luo Binghe's sigils.)

Of all his gifts, ones that allow Luo Binghe to play house wife are recieved the best

---

[Modern AU but demons are an oppressed class and LBH was part of an underground fighting ring]

"You're going to help him acclimate!" Shen Yuan beamed at him, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose and his eyes sparkling.

"What."

"Acclimate! He's had a rough time and he's so sweet... they were gonna dump him into the recovery system but I had a moment to talk to him and he would really benefit from a more personalized approach."

"The Recovery System is designed to help kids like him." Unspoken: Liu Qingge was definitely not designed to help kids unpack their trauma and become healthier, happier versions of themselves.

"Qingge," Shen Yuan pouted at him before turning his face away. He crossed his arms defensively, recovered his expression, and turned back to Liu Qingge. "His entire impression of the team is Da-ge... he's a little, well, mistrustful of it all."

Liu Qingge snorted. Shen Qingqiu was very, very skilled at infiltrating the illegal demon trade and blowing them up from the inside. He was also mean, underhanded, and not the kind of person who would coddle a traumatized kid caught in the middle of it all.

"And the kid is half demon, so, you can imagine... Da-ge wasn't exactly..."

"Just because you're brother is a jackass—"

"Hey!"

"Doesn't mean I have the—" knowledge? Skill? Patience? "—time to babysit for you."

"You'll like him though, he's so sweet! He really doesn't deserve to get lost in the system."

Liu Qingge nearly called him out. Does anyone deserve to get caught up in the bureaucratic red tape, passed through the seive of reports and check ups and therapy, modulated social rehabilitation? It was necessary but the system was so flooded it was mechanical, impersonal.

Liu Qingge knew very well what it felt like to be snatched from the middle of one hell hole, be promised it'd get better, and then abandoned to the monotony of "tell us about your feelings" and "why don't you try thinking about whether your actions are going to help or harm before you act" and "you can try a little harder to be empathetic to those around you".  As if he had been the problem and not everyone else pressing so hard at his boundaries when the only thing he'd been taught to do was lash out. Eventually he'd just shut up, did his exercises without absorbing anything, swallowed the pills he'd been prescribed, until he got the grudging stamp of approval and was set adrift into society barely any more self sufficient than before.

If he hadn't run into Shen Yuan when he had, he'd probably still be doing the same exact routine: wake up, drink a meal replacement, walk to his boring little job at the corner store, refrain from punching (his boss, the customers, the vendors, the teenagers making a mess in the snack aisle, the auntie who always smiled at him as if she could see the struggle on his face, the rats that his boss complained about but was too lazy to do anything about, the—), clock out after 7.5 hours, run his habitual circuit, go home, shower, then stare blankly at the ceiling until he fell asleep.

If someone like Shen Yuan had scooped him up at the start of it all, where could Liu Qingge be now?

Well, he probably wouldn't be living in Shen Yuan's house, happily spending his days dogging the steps of the world's most oblivious, self-sacrificial man. Shen Yuan would tell him that someone should have been there for him. That it was sad he had been left alone for so long but that was no excuse for not helping others avoid that pain if he could help it.

If Liu Qingge was particularly unlucky Shen Yuan would get that disbelieving, disapproving crease on his forehead that meant Liu Qingge was acting entirely out of Shen Yuan's perception of his character. It didn't matter how many times someone else told Shen Yuan that Liu Qingge was a loose canon, a liability, selfish, inconsiderate, or self-absorbed. The only thing that could take the shine off Liu Qingge in Shen Yuan's eyes was Liu Qingge himself.

The thing was, Shen Yuan made Liu Qingge want to be reliable, responsible, competent, safe. He really, really wanted to live up to Shen Yuan's expectations. Thinking that eventually Shen Yuan would learn how difficult Liu Qingge was to handle slowly turned into Liu Qingge wanting to be easy for Shen Yuan.

Somewhere, somewhen, Liu Qingge stopped wanting to chase Shen Yuan away and started trying to keep him close with both hands gripped tight.

He blew out a sigh, and even to his own ears it sounded defeated. Shen Yuan perked up, smile playing around the corner of his lips. He pulled out his cellphone and tapped something quickly.

"Good! Perfect! Haha, I already said we could host him so it would have been embarrassing if you'd said no."

"Ugh," Liu Qingge rolled his eyes. "You're lucky I don't have hobbies. How else would you commit all my free time."

"I know, I know, Qingge is too sweet for me! So reliable!"

The familiar warmth of pleased embarrassment washed through him. His ears flushed with it.

"Well. As long as you know." He said, finally. 

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 4.1

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, as chapter 3 concluded, Kiyo was the worst and I yelled a lot, Kokichi accidentally did something nice for once in the process of deflecting his own issues, Himiko had emotions and so did everyone else, and the out-universe writers quite rightly decided that Kaito’s character arc was important enough to be the focus of the chapter-end stinger.

Now that we’re done with the weakest chapter of the game, we can move on to one of the best chapters of the game! Yay. I hope you’ve been looking forward to this, because I sure have.

This opening stinger with Rantaro’s video message to himself is even more obviously a thing for the out-universe audience’s eyes only. The in-universe audience already knows exactly what Rantaro’s deal is, so this wouldn’t be interesting for them at all.

Rantaro:  “You wanted this killing game, so you have to win no matter what.”

This is super misleading. I imagine the writers worded it this way for the sense of mystery it brings to seeing the scene here without context – making people think maybe Rantaro was the mastermind or otherwise a bad person who was only out for himself. But since that’s not the case, this really isn’t how you’d think he’d actually phrase things from his point of view. He didn’t want this killing game – he volunteered to sacrifice himself so two of his friends from season 52 could survive and escape, and at the time he presumably expected his “punishment” to be death rather than having to do it all over again. And he certainly didn’t want to “win” in the sense of “become blackened and get away with it” that this seems to be implying. He presumably wanted to end the killing game, especially upon having learned that this is an endless cycle, which isn’t something most people would describe as “winning”.

Live and Let the Languid World Live

I think I sort of get what this title’s relevance is, but maybe the Japanese title, “Living in a Lazy Parallel World”, gets it across a little better. It gives the sense of there being a separate world in which one can remain blissfully oblivious to the horrible reality of the situation, which fits in multiple ways. There’s their life in the academy versus the supposedly-ruined outside world, there’s Miu’s claim that the Virtual World is a peaceful world with no killing game, and then there’s the way that Gonta loses his memories as he leaves the Virtual World and remains oblivious to what he did in there.

At breakfast in the morning, one of the few people managing to stay upbeat is Kaito. Naturally he’s completely fine and definitely didn’t realise he was dying last night.

Himiko:  “Heeey! You guys have no energy! You need to look alive! You’re all still teenagers!”

Himiko is also managing to be upbeat! She’s even taking a leaf out of Kaito’s book and trying to boost everyone else’s spirits too!

Maki:  “…Weird. I thought you’d be the most depressed out of all of us.”

Himiko:  “Of course… I’m depressed. This is the most depressed I’ve been in all my 200 million years. […] But… being depressed won’t help those who died rest in peace…”

And I appreciate that acknowledgement that she is still horribly depressed. That’s not going to magically go away just because she’s been inspired by Tenko. She’s just trying as hard as she can to fight it now, which is really admirable.

Himiko:  “S-So anyway… Please… t-take care of the… new me…”

Kaito:  “You’re out of breath already. You’re going full speed right out of the gate!”

Like you wouldn’t do the same, Kaito? Like you aren’t doing that right now, considering what’s going on with you?

Kokichi:  “Ughhh… but now that there’s less people, I might… be the next victim… Woooow, so exciting! But I definitely don’t wanna die!”

Kokichi’s doing his usual shtick of pretending this game is totally fun for him. Since this is still before he sees the outside world, I don’t think this has any greater meaning to it than usual.

Then again, he’s also added more to the graffiti, meaning the “claim to be the mastermind” part of his plan is already in progress. So really, seeing the outside world isn’t going to change his intentions that significantly at all.

(I have a lot to say about Kokichi’s intentions in this chapter, but I’ll wait until we get to the part where he actually has seen the outside world.)

Tsumugi:  “Wh-What about this world? What does it mean? Is there some crazy story going on?”

This is Tsumugi’s response to the graffiti possibly saying “this world”. It sure is telling that she’d think of what’s going on outside as a story, because that’s all it is to her.

Maki has started using her catchphrase at Shuichi in front of everyone else, by the way! She’s opening up more and starting to feel like the others aren’t going to think she really wants to kill anyone either. Progress.

Kokichi:  “But Gonta stumbled onto the writing by coincidence, right? If it was a prank, they would’ve done it in a more obvious spot, not in the grass.”

Kokichi’s saying this to try and support the idea that the writing isn’t him, but this is misleading. The original message wasn’t his, and it’s only after Gonta found that and pointed it out to everyone that he started adding to it, since he knew at that point that people would definitely pay attention and notice his additions.

Kokichi:  “There’s nothing more depressing than an unnoticed prank.”

This says a lot about Kokichi’s approach to things in general. He doesn’t just want to mess with people – he likes it best when they know they’ve been messed with and that it was him who messed with them. Keep this in mind in chapter 5 when I’ll be talking about the reasons his plan fails, because this is at the root of another one of them.

Kaito:  “Well, I don’t really get it, but… Maybe it’s some kinda clue. Thanks for the report, Gonta.”

Another interesting observation about Kaito: he very rarely directly thanks anyone. Which might seem strange when he’s all about encouraging people and letting them know how much good they’ve been doing. But it makes sense when you consider that specifically thanking someone is a bit more personal to Kaito himself and comes with the implication that he needed their help, which is of course something Kaito does not like to admit to. This instance here is an exception to that probably mostly because he’s just thanking Gonta on behalf of everyone, so it doesn’t come across as if he specifically needed anything.

Gonta:  “…Gonta just glad to help. Gonta want to help, even little. Tell Gonta if you need help with something, okay?”

But it’s also likely because Kaito knows how much Gonta needs to hear that and to feel useful and like he’s helped someone out right now, more than ever before.

(And Gonta’s not the only one. Which might be why Kaito is so aware of that.)

Kokichi:  “O-kay, got it! I’ll let you know if I want you to punch someone.”

Himiko:  “No! You don’t get to tell Gonta what to do anymore!”

Gonta:  “Y-Yeah… Gonta learn lesson after Insect Meet and Greet…”

Yeah, Gonta’s definitely never going to get manipulated into doing something bad by Kokichi ever again, right? Hnnnngh.

Monophanie:  “…a card key! Which just so happens to be the motive, too!”

So, uh. Let’s talk about this card key. First of all, it being a card key is super misleading, because the immediate thing I assumed when I first saw it was that it’s the key to the hidden door in the library. That’s the only door we know of with a card reader, so that’s the obvious assumption to make. But none of the characters comment on this at all, not even Shuichi, who found the hidden door and indirectly got Kaede killed because of it. You’d think it would have come to mind for him at least. Clearly the writers don’t have anyone comment on it because they don’t want the players to think it’s connected to the library door (since it isn’t), but if that’s the case then they really should have just made it a different kind of key so it wouldn’t bring that to mind.

Second, we never see the place in the school that the card key actually opens. It would have helped immersion to at least show some kind of mysterious locked door that could plausibly be what Kokichi unlocks with this. As it is, from the players’ perspective, that hidden route Kokichi finds simply doesn’t exist, so we just have to use our imaginations to pretend that it totally is somewhere that we just don’t get access to while playing the game, which is a little awkward. It’s also pretty unclear how this card leads to a place from where one can see the outside world. Does it lead to the same place that the Death Road to Despair does? Is it like, a shortcut through that tunnel so that Kokichi can reach the end of it without worrying about the traps? Or is there another totally different place in the school that also shows the outside world, meaning Team Danganronpa would have had to double-up on the special effects? It’s annoyingly unclear.

But what’s most annoyingly unclear is how seeing the outside world is supposed to be a motive. Presumably Monokuma expected everyone to use the card key and view the outside world, right? That would have been the very opposite of a motive! Everyone would have fallen into despair and realised there was no point killing each other to escape at all, which is exactly what happens when Kokichi shows them all the outside in chapter 5 and which really annoys and bores the audience when it does happen! The only reason it functions as a motive in this chapter is because Kokichi steals the card key and keeps it to himself, and then later decides to show the motive only to Gonta to convince him to try and mercy-kill everyone, since the mercy kill plan would be meaningless if everybody had already seen outside. The part where Kokichi shares the motive with Gonta explicitly isn’t Monokuma’s intended plan right now, since he has that conversation with Kokichi later where he agrees to go along with it. And I doubt he would have known Kokichi would steal the card key before anyone else could use it in the first place. Even if he predicted that as a possibility, he couldn’t know for sure that Kokichi would be fast enough to swipe it and run off without getting caught, and if that didn’t happen and everyone used the card key then that would have been the worst possible outcome from Monokuma’s perspective. It shouldn’t be worth the risk.

Like, I love this chapter a lot for most everything that happens in it. But this initial decision of Monokuma/Tsumugi’s that sets off all of the fun stuff that happens in this chapter feels kind of contrived and illogical, and it’s a shame.

Keebo:  “Right now, we need your skills as a detective, Shuichi.”

Shuichi:  “Right… in that case, let me hold onto that. I’ll look around again.”

Himiko:  “Nyeeeh, Shuichi’s grown up! He’s become so reliable!”

Again – the job of using the objects on the mysterious items to open up new areas really does not require a detective. Kaito only gave that job to Shuichi back in chapter 2 to help make him feel useful when he was feeling down. But now that’s just become how things are done to the point that everyone’s forgotten they don’t really need Shuichi for this, and they’ve been relying on him so much in trials (where his skills really do make a difference) that it’s just kind of extended to outside the trials as well even when it’s a lot less necessary.

(Kaito isn’t here at this point, since he’s already run off after Kokichi, which is kind of a shame because I would have been interested to see how he’d respond to this.)

Gonta:  “Shuichi is so amazing. Gonta wanna be useful to everyone too.”

Aww, Gonta looks up to Shuichi and desperately wants to be as helpful as him. And he’s being so open and honest about feeling this way. (Unlike someone else.)

(Again: it is a shame that Kaito has already left the room.)

Maki:  “Don’t worry. When the time comes, we’ll use your body as a meat shield.”

Gonta:  “Okay! Gonta hope time come soon!”

Maki is probably joking (she’s at that point in her development where she’s starting to make jokes that still don’t really sound like jokes because her delivery is too deadpan), but still, gaaah. It’s admirable that Gonta’s willing to risk himself to protect everyone, but he should still hope that it never has to come to that, so the fact that he’s actively hoping it will is pretty fucked up. He doesn’t just want to help if he’s needed, but he wants to be needed, even if that means he’ll need to get himself hurt.

Opening up the new areas, I’m starting in the courtyard with Keebo’s lab.

Keebo:  “Anyway, Shuichi… That black object over there looks suspicious, doesn’t it?”

This goes to show that they don’t actually need Shuichi’s skills as a detective at all to open up these new places and Keebo would have been able to do it himself if he’d had the mysterious items.

Since there was nothing else to examine inside Keebo’s lab, I decided to examine the monitor (which I usually never remember to do), and…

Shuichi:  (These monitors are everywhere, but I don’t see any cameras. How is the mastermind behind this killing game monitoring us? Or… are we not really being watched at all?)

An important question to ask, Shuichi! Even if he hasn’t figured out like Kokichi has that this is clearly being shown to people for entertainment, there still absolutely must be cameras in order for Monokuma to know who the blackened is in each case. Unfortunately Shuichi never quite thinks this through far enough until halfway through the fifth trial.

Shuichi:  “But I imagine that a lot of things in here would really help you out. You should take a look.”

Keebo:  “No… I do not want to be assisted by sci-fi technology.”

Congratulations, Keebo, you’ve just become partially responsible for every death that happens from this point onwards. The things in his lab include a jetpack and a laser gun, which make him an equal match for all five Exisals in a fight and are able to blow a hole in the wall to let everyone escape. (Well, apparently only after Keebo modifies them to be more powerful, but since he’s the one who’s capable of doing that, the point still stands.) If Keebo decided to use them right now, the killing game would be over in a matter of hours. The fact that he’s refusing to do so because he’s uncomfortable with sci-fi technology is not a remotely valid excuse in this situation when people’s lives are at stake. He should be willing to make temporary sacrifices like that for the sake of saving everyone! It’s not like he’d have to ever use those weapons again if he didn’t want to once they’re out of here!

What the out-universe writers really should have done here to justify Keebo not using these yet is make it clear that it’s because his inner voice doesn’t want him to. The only meaningful difference between now and chapter 6 is the lack of his inner voice, not any kind of character development to have become more okay with being sci-fi. The audience obviously wouldn’t want him to use his weapons to bust everyone out of here in chapter 4 – they want an exciting killing game.

Shuichi:  (It doesn’t seem like Keebo is going to use this lab. Well, he’s free to do as he pleases. Nothing I can do about that.)

I mean, you could try arguing to him that he could save everybody’s lives if he used it, Shuichi. You’re still too passive sometimes.

Back up to the fourth floor, Tsumugi and Maki are there, which for some reason only happens if you’ve already been to Keebo’s lab first, hence me doing things in this order.

Tsumugi:  “I still don’t get that stuff with his sister or why he killed Angie and Tenko…”

THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU WRITE KIYO THAT WAY.

Maki has also figured out exactly where to use the mysterious item, proving that splitting up into two groups with one item each would have been much faster than mindlessly assuming Shuichi’s the only one who can do it.

Shuichi:  (Maki has never been this cooperative with investigations before… She must have been serious about what she said after the trial.)

Maki:  “…What? Why are you making that gross face?”

Shuichi:  “Wh-What!? It’s not *gross* …is it? I’m just happy… It’s, ah, really nice that you’re working with us like this.”

It’s really heartbreaking that Maki considers expressions like the one Shuichi’s making – expressions of caring about her as a person and considering her feelings – to be “gross”. Gah.

Maki:  “Well, unlike Kaito, I’m not just all talk. I always follow through with my decisions.”

Maki still doesn’t quite properly understand Kaito. Kaito always means to follow through on his words, even if he’s not always as good at it as he wishes he was. She’s probably still annoyed at him skipping training last chapter because of the ghost thing.

I’m ignoring Tsumugi’s lab for now even though it’s closer and heading to Shuichi’s first.

Shuichi:  (This also looks like an Ultimate lab. But whose lab is it?)

Even if you can’t see the icon for it on the map, it’s still clearly yours, Shuichi. None of the others left without a lab would have a door like this (except maybe Rantaro I guess). But of course Shuichi still kind of hates his talent and hasn’t been remotely thinking about what a lab based around it might look like, so it’s a nice little detail that this doesn’t even occur to him.

Maki:  “But this place doesn’t match you at all. I think this lab is too good for someone like you.”

Ouch, Maki again being bluntly realistic about Shuichi’s detective skills still having room for improvement.

Shuichi:  “There are a bunch of files lined up. It looks like about 50 of them.”

Not just “about fifty”. To be precise:

…there’s exactly fifty-two of them.

Maki:  “The newer files have photographs, but the older ones have illustrations?”

Shuichi:  “But why? Are the old ones just fictional?”

That’s exactly what they are. Almost as if something involving murder cases which has happened fifty-two times up until now used to be fictional at the beginning and then became real.

Each one of these files contains the cases from a single season of Danganronpa.

I didn’t pick up on this for the longest time – I assumed that it just included some random fictional murders in among with some real ones because why not? I didn’t quite register the fact that it was specifically all of the earliest files that were fictional, nor the fact that there were exactly fifty-two. But given both of those facts, this is so, so clearly what the out-universe writers intend for this to be, and it blew my mind when I figured this out. Have I mentioned how much I love it when there’s details like this that are deliberately hinted at but never made explicitly clear because they don’t need to be as it doesn’t stop them being true.

Maki:  “Then this would make a good guideline for anyone who wants to commit murder.”

I’m not so sure about that, since these are all murder cases where the blackened got caught. If we’re to believe chapter 6, every single game ended with hope winning, which means no blackened has ever succeeded in getting away with it. They’d make a good guideline of what not to do, maybe.

Shuichi:  (The first few files have only illustrations, but the others have photographs… Is there a reason for that?)

Oh, Shuichi, if only you’d sit down and spend longer thinking about what that reason might be.

I have to assume they kept the precise details of the overall context the murders happened in pretty vague so as to not make it obvious they all took place in a killing game just like this one. I imagine they edited the illustrated ones to make the blood red rather than pink, too, because that might have got Shuichi’s brain ticking.

We also have to assume, then, that nobody ever happened to look at file number 1. Otherwise, when they all see the Flashback Light about Hope’s Peak in chapter 5, that would definitely raise some fucking questions.

If this weren’t a killing game, I’d be very sceptical about why an Ultimate Detective’s lab would need actual poisons in it. Facts about poisons, sure, and antidotes, maybe, but there’s no need to have a whole cupboard full of the means to actually kill someone.

Shuichi:  (…I suppose that’s right. There’s a fine line between criminal and detective.)

All it serves to do is make Shuichi feel awful about his talent again.

Shuichi:  “The only time I can use my detective talent is after someone dies… A detective… can’t save anyone. I’m only useful after it’s already too late.”

Maybe in the real world, detectives don’t usually save lives, but giving loved ones closure is still worthwhile, Shuichi! But of course he still thinks of everything in the context of that one murder case where the culprit had a sympathetic reason for doing it and hated him for figuring out the truth.

More to the point, though, in this killing game, Shuichi is absolutely explicitly saving the lives of everyone except the victim and the culprit. Sure, it’d be better if the murders didn’t happen at all, but given that the murders do happen and nobody is able to stop that part, Shuichi’s talent makes him the biggest hero out of anyone here.

Maki:  “Why are you so upset all of a sudden? Do you want to die?”

Shuichi:  “You’d kill me just for that!?”

Kaito:  “Nah, I understand why Maki Roll would say that. Your face looked pretty gloomy.”

Thankfully, both Maki and Kaito realise how ridiculous it is for Shuichi to think that he’s not saving anyone in this situation and call him out on it appropriately.

(I also really like that this is the point in the conversation at which Kaito happens to show up.)

Kaito:  “With a face as gloomy as that, I can’t believe you’re my sidekick. Be more proud of yourself, Shuichi! Everything you’ve done up until now has been amazing!”

Of course it has! Of course Kaito thinks that! And he can hardly believe that Shuichi could still be self-deprecating even now when it’s so clear from where Kaito’s standing that Shuichi has been the real hero all along.

Shuichi:  “Ah… thanks.”

Shuichi’s response is somewhat lukewarm, like he still mostly thinks Kaito is just saying this to encourage him and doesn’t quite fully believe it. No, Shuichi – Kaito absolutely means it.

Maki:  “Because of how well you did in the class trials, people are keeping their eyes on you, Shuichi… The next culprit might come after you.”

So I’ve seen some people complaining that it’s unrealistic that nobody ever does try to murder Shuichi, since this is a very valid point. But it makes perfectly good sense in the context of the actual people who attempt murder. Obviously Kaede believed he wasn’t the mastermind. Kirumi probably should have targeted Shuichi, but her thing was that even though she was desperate to escape, she still couldn’t bring herself to directly kill anyone who actively wanted to live, which is why she targeted Ryoma. Kiyo only targets girls. Miu is an idiot who might have never had the issue of Shuichi’s prowess in trials occur to her, and even if it did, she falsely believed that Kokichi trusted her, which is why she goes for him.

Honestly, this argument about how the culprits should go for Shuichi because he’s so good in class trials is most relevant to the question of why doesn’t Kokichi choose Shuichi to be his accomplice in chapter 5? I’ll talk more about that later when we get there, but suffice to say that’s probably the biggest reason his plan is really not as clever as he thinks.

Kaito:  “Heh, you don’t need to worry about that! I won’t let anyone mess with my sidekick! I’m gonna protect both of you! It’s a hero’s job to protect his sidekicks!”

Kaito, meanwhile, is probably quite unnerved at the realisation that Shuichi is an even more likely target than anyone else now. Naturally, he’s going to do something about that – because, you know, it’s totally possible to make absolutely 100% sure that a particular person will not get killed. Short of designating himself Shuichi’s personal bodyguard, which he’s obviously not going to do because that’d come across as ridiculously paranoid, there’s… really no way to come close to guaranteeing that at all. But even though he has no way of knowing for sure that he can back up these words, that doesn’t diminish the intent behind them one bit. Of course he wants to protect Shuichi! Of course he doesn’t want to stand back and let Shuichi get killed if there’s anything he can do about it!

Also, consider: Kaito almost certainly feels that he in particular should have been able to prevent each of the murders that have happened so far. Rantaro left Kaito’s meeting to “go to the bathroom” just before getting killed, which Kaito should have realised was suspicious and at least offered to go with him for safety. I’ve made it very clear that Kaito could and should have saved Ryoma just by reaching out to him, and I’m pretty sure he realised that himself in the end. And if he’d just been able to be his usual self last chapter, then surely he’d have done something to stop the resurrection ritual, or noticed Kiyo acting strangely, or been at the seance and noticed something off there, or something. Which is admittedly the kind of thing everyone is probably thinking in hindsight, even though really they were trying their best and couldn’t have done any more than they did – but Kaito could have done more, couldn’t he, if he just hadn’t let something as stupid as being scared of ghosts get to him?

But this time, it’ll be different! This time, he’ll definitely notice whatever’s going wrong and step in to do something about it before it’s too late, especially if the person lined up to be the next victim is Shuichi!

…Right?

I also enjoy how he promises to protect Maki too even though she is clearly the person least in need of protection from being murdered. Kaito is trying really hard to seem like he’s being a good hero to his sidekicks.

Maki:  “…What if I end up as a future culprit?”

Kaito:  “Are you stupid? That’s impossible.”

And guess what Kaito actually will end up protecting Maki from? Becoming a future culprit! He will manage to keep this promise that he’s making here! More or less. It’s not like he directly promises that he’ll prevent Maki from becoming a culprit, since he believes in her so much that he doesn’t think he’ll need to (I love the way says it’s impossible for her to become a culprit like it’s just obvious), but that’s absolutely something he feels just as strongly about as preventing her from becoming a victim.

(Also, Maki still not believing in herself enough to assume that she wouldn’t ever kill anyone any more. Which she’s unfortunately right about, but still. Gah.)

Maki:  “How… can you believe in people so easily?”

Because he’s Kaito, of course!

Other than still questioning why he believes in a murderer like her, I think part of Maki might be asking this for the same reason Shuichi also asked Kaito this back in chapter 2 – because she’s starting to wish that she could also believe in people more and wants to know how it comes so easily to him.

Kaito:  “Huh? Didn’t I tell you before? I believe in people I wanna believe in. And if they betray me, it just means I made a bad call believing in them. Of course, you’re one of the people I want to believe in, Maki Roll!”

Maki:  “…”

I think she’s finally starting to accept that Kaito really is just like this – and that it is possible to be like this in general. Also, she’s given up on protesting the nickname, so that’s progress! Sort of.

(Also this is literally the fourth time Kaito has explained his principles about believing in people and acknowledged that he could be wrong but chooses to believe anyway; this shouldn’t remotely be something that is easy to miss about him.)

Anyway, Kaito couldn’t catch up to Kokichi, but he found the Flashback Light instead.

Kaito:  “So let’s all gather in the dining hall!”

Maki:  “Huh? Me too?”

Of course you too, Maki! You said yourself that you want to start working together with everyone and getting them to trust you, so of course you should be at important gatherings like this!

The reason I did this lab before Tsumugi’s is that you miss out on some dialogue here if Shuichi doesn’t still need to check any more places and they can just head straight to the dining hall.

Maki:  “…You’re not going to check this place?”

Kaito:  “I’ll let Shuichi handle it! You got this. Right, Shuichi!?”

Kaito’s still being so encouraging! I guess he really is okay with Shuichi continuing to be the one solely responsible for opening new areas even though it really doesn’t need to be him any more. Kaito gave him that job in the first place to boost his confidence, which Shuichi doesn’t need anywhere near as badly by now, but Kaito’s still continuing to use it to boost his confidence anyway.

Maki:  “…You didn’t even complain. You seriously *are* his sidekick now.”

Shuichi:  (…I can’t even argue with that.)

Aww, look at Shuichi becoming more used to the idea of being Kaito’s sidekick (not that he ever actively protested it in the first place). And Maki still thinking the word means “someone who does whatever Kaito tells them to”, when that’s not it at all. Kaito only tells Shuichi what to do as a way of encouraging him to do things he might otherwise be hesitant to try, even if that’s not really as necessary now as it used to be.

Tsumugi:  “Yeah, I think it’s just plain fun to become fictional characters. To become a completely different person and feel like you’re part of a different world.”

Yeah, it really must be fun to become someone who doesn’t enjoy watching real people kill each other and immerse yourself in a world where the idea of real people killing each other is barbaric rather than everyone’s idea of a good night’s entertainment, huh.

Tsumugi:  “Doesn’t that sound interesting? Don’t you want to live in a fictional world?”

Why are you asking Shuichi this? You already think he does.

Tsumugi’s lab is way bigger than it really needs to be. Someone just wanted to give herself the biggest lab, now, didn’t she.

Also, in the thing at the back that keeps putting up and taking down different backdrops, one of the possible backdrops is very much a Hope’s Peak classroom complete with Monokuma graffiti on the blackboard. Like it’s just a place she’d want to do cosplay photoshoots in or something.

---

[Next post]

[foreveratlas]

The Late Birthday

This post is a present for someone important to me. Though it is a little late, it’s a lot more effort than my usual Poem a Year tradition. Plus, it helped me unlock some of my writers block. Enjoy!

Loren

I had looked up at the analog clock posted over the door of the break room. It read 10:43pm. I was absolutely exhausted, which was only amplified by the reminders nagging me in the back of my head in regards to Elena’s birthday. I was panic-stressing, pacing the room around the four round tables; and despite her anxiety, and yet, still due for another hour of work. Due to recent shrink going on in the department, I was being forced to stay late.

This was creating within me, a sense of worry. Of course, I had wished Elena a Happy Birthday, promised to try to be home soon, but when the announcement was sprung earlier that day that everyone with any form of authority in the store would be staying over, all I could do was text Elena and groan loudly in the women’s restroom.  

I needed to make time move faster, and I needed to get home so I could prep everything. In the breakroom fridge sat a cheesecake, made fresh that day by the bakery; the best cherries that were available; and a package of precooked barbecue brisket (easily heated to temp in the microwave). But I was going to miss the entire day at this rate! I wasn’t going to be able to celebrate with my problematic favorite person until the next day, and I didn’t even know if our schedules aligned.  

I sighed loudly as my pacing continued.

A cough returned my aspiration. “Yeah, it’s horse shit they make us do this.” Mike, the manager of Produce and Snacks wiped his chin on a handkerchief. “It’s not like it’s gunna accomplish piss-all.” He was an amusing character with a big brushy mustache, and the gaunt composure of a cattle driver,  but he seemed wholesome. He never seemed to have a problem with myself or with Elena when she was still with the store.  

“Do they do this often? They claimed they found a lot of shrink in my department but--”  

“Horse shit,” he sneered again. “You just made it to supervisor, but what it is they just want the labor of the salary people to go over the shit because they don’t wanna pay the hourly kids.”  

Loren scoffed. “Wouldn’t it just be easier to have us direct them to do that during their normal shifts on top of their regular duties?”

“One would think, but this aint Rocket Science Academy. Smarter minds have come here to die.” I shuddered at the idea and looked away to see the clock switch to 10:50. As good a time as any to clock back in and get back out there.  

On the floor, the time was even more excruciatingly slow. I took every second I could spare to check my phone’s digital clock. And as the seconds ticked by, I began to wonder if I would even be able to beat the traffic and get home in time. This new stress was confounded even as my department’s manager came up and said, “We may need you to stay till one.”

“One?” I half screamed and cried at the same time, causing several other employees around them to stop their tasks and stare. “I was told eleven, and then 11:30. Why One now?”

“Corporate wants us to stay for an all nighter.”  

“Then I expect my compensation to be reflective of these hours. I may be salary but you are clearly overworking me.”

My boss quickly moved to shush me, waving his hands in the air, “You can’t say that!”

“Why not? I’m just stating a fact.”

“Because it could lead to a write up.” I gave my boss a face that made it very apparent that the prospect was very much not what I wanted. And partially, I didn’t believe him. I rarely believed any of the jargon that the company had the audacity to put out there. It was pretty obvious when we are treated with dignity and when something seems fishy. He recanted, “I don’t want you to get written up over something stupid. You know you can take the accrued additional time off on another day.”  

I made an emotional display and pouted vividly as he spoke and finally said, “But it’s my girlfriend’s birthday.” I did my best to show what should have been puppy dog eyes. But to honestly, in hindsight, I don’t know how to use my charms to seduce men.

Luckily, my boss sighed and said, “I’ll see what I can do. But for now, no promises. And if I tag you out, you are gone. No dawdling. No sticking around. You go.”

“I gotta get my stuff though,” I interjected.

“Then get it and go!”

I kept working as we had agreed and kept looking to my boss for some form of relief. And slowly 11:30 came. And went. And then 11:35. 11:40. 11:45. And finally at 11:49. My boss passed as I was in the process of counting belts (in obvious lackluster) and whispered, “Run now, Vale, you won’t get a second chance.”

I thrust my clipboard into my boss’s hands and sprinted past him, going full speed of almost thirteen miles an hour. I ran hard, letting my Sketcher-Relaxation loafers get torn up from the exertion. After rounding the first set of shelving that made up the aisle for the electronics, adjacent to my own department, I turned sharp left, sprinting as hard as I could. The breakroom doors were within my sight, just beyond the medicine and optometry departments. I turned at the pharmacy aisle one more time and went in a direct line to the door, hurdling over a cart filled with Tylenol products.  

I rammed my shoulder into the door, rushed into the breakroom and moved to the refrigerator that housed the food I had purchased earlier that day. I grabbed the bag and the cheesecake and turned on my heel, just as the District Manager stepped out of the restroom on the opposite wall. That’s when I froze, suddenly well aware that no one was suppose to be leaving earlier than one.

“Excuse me,” he said pointedly, his tone very firm. The district manager walked across the breakroom, smiled beneath his thick red beard and said, “Mm, is it someone’s birthday today?” He looked down to see the custom cheesecake in the white box.  

I nodded, “My girlfriend’s,” I offered almost shyly.

His eyes seemed to light up at that. “My husband loves cheesecake,” he announced, matter-of-factly. “Well, go, go celebrate. Don’t know why they’re making you all do this shit just because I’m here this week.”

“Wait, are you saying we don’t have to do this busy work?”

He shook his head. “It’s just burning hours, really. Corporate tells them not to do this but Stacy always demands this kind of thing when myself, the regional manager, or the V-P is in town.”

“That seems so superfluous.”

“Good word choice. Tell me more good words next time you’re on the clock,” He looked down to see my name, “Low-Ren. Oops, sorry, Loren.” He ushered me out the door at that, but it was too late. That exchange had brought the clock from 11:50 to 11:55. There was no way I could make it home in time. But, dammit I was going to die trying.  

Elena

When Loren woke up that morning and wished Me a happy birthday, I was confused for a moment, but pleasantly surprised. Truthfully, I hadn’t celebrated my birthday in years, probably not since before my mother left when I was still a teen. Because of such traumatic events that occurred after, I simply chose to avoid the very prospect of my birthday. I did my best to do anything other than celebrate, often avoiding the triggers as my therapist would say. But that didn’t always work, unfortunately. But at least I had Loren this year to help make the event a little more bright.

Though, a thought imbedded into my brain. Why should we be the only people celebrating? I smiled at the thought of hosting a small gathering and moved to look for my phone in the sheets of our bed. When I finally did discover it in its resting place between mattress and wall, I was dismayed to learn that I had no messages or greetings or social media posts wishing me a happy birthday. I frowned at the thought that everyone didn’t know, but I went ahead and decided to text Alison.  

Loren is throwing a birthday patty for me, she texted. Shit, Party*

A party you say? Alison replied. Happy Birthday! I didn’t even know it was today! A party sounds like fun.  

Did you forget lol? I don’t think it was going to be anythimg major. Dammit, anything*. I continued, But I wanted to invite as many people as possible to enjoy it with sus. Ughhh, us*.

Let me see what I can do to help, Allision responded. I’ll even let Gregor know. You just focus on making the place pretty.  

I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be an insult or a reminder that we lived in clutterfuck. A royal clutterfuck. I sighed at the thought, but she was right, the apartment was more than a stye and needed its fair share of TLC before it could be decent enough to host guests. So, I got up, got dressed, kissed Loren on the cheek as she passed in the hall between the bedroom and bathroom, and proceeded to do my morning routines.  

Long after Loren had left for work, I sat in our living room looking about the carnage of the living situation. When I had lived alone, this was hardly messy. Now take out containers and magazines were strewn about. Dishes were piled in the sink in the kitchen, and mail was accumulating on various surfaces. Coats, shirts, and pants found homes on the back of chairs; three bags of garbage had been left to sit by the door but never taken out; and I was all but positive that the air filter for the AC unit was caked to the point of no return.  

How did the apartment manage to get in such a state? I wondered as I took stock of everything that had gone wrong in our cohabitation. For the first time ever, I truly wasn’t even sure if we owned a vacuum between the both of us. Was there even a mop or a swiffer? How about a duster?  

“Start with what you can do, don’t worry about the other stuff until you get to them,” I said aloud and moved to the kitchen. Grabbing a trashbag, I set about the house, picking up various articles of trash and cleaning each room of their rubbish in a quick and painless manner. The trashbag was large, able to accommodate months of accumulation, and was even able to fit the garbage from their bathroom and bedroom. I set the bag outside, came back in and continued my home improvement journey.

Next on the list was dishes, which not only had a thin film of dust, but emitted a very cautionary smell. Thank the dear Lord we had a dishwasher! And with some sanitary gloves from our stash of fun stuff, I managed to rinse and load the dishes into the washer quickly enough. The apartment maintenance went by pretty quickly thankfully. Since I got on the right meds months prior, everything seemed like this was living life with Cheat Codes. Even when some emotional lows slipped through the cracks, I was luckily able to bounce back pretty quickly now.  

I had just replaced the air filter when there was a knock at the door. Before I could even get to it, Alison burst inside, hugging me tightly, “Oh, I thought you might need my help so I came over right after work, but it looks like you pretty much got a handle on it!”

I smiled sheepishly, “Yeah I didn’t know how bad it actually was. Sorry you had been subjugated to that in the past.” I looked off to the side sheepishly but either Alison intentionally didn’t notice or she did her best change the mood.  

“Oh no worries, now let’s talk party!” She ran back outside and returned shortly with several bags with the dollar store logo on them. Streamers, balloons, noise makers, and more filled them to the brim. We set to work blowing the balloons with the hand pump she brought and then I took the step ladder from the hall closet and began stapling the streamers around the apartment. Before long, the apartment looked like a birthday party dream for a teen. I wasn’t sure if the irony pleased me or made me question our motive. But Alison certainly was happy with the result. She was still pumping air into balloons when the first knock came.

Gregor and his roommates, Talia and Vox were the first people to show up. I greeted Talia and Gregor with tight hugs and then waved to Vox who wasn’t comfortable with physical touch in contrast to their roommates.

“Happy Birthday!” Gregor offered. “I had no idea!”

“I had totally forgotten myself,” I laughed.  

“Well with the whirlwind romance between you and Loren, I imagine forgetting your birthday is not the worst thing,” Talia noted.

Vox sipped their glass of water they took from the kitchen, “Where is Loren?”

“At work. To be honest, she remembered. It was so sweet of her. I bet she planned to do something small, so I wanted to do something big. We can do something between the two of us later when everyone leaves.”

Alison chortled and elbowed me playfully, “Ehh, ehh, something between the two of you, huh? Going to have a little bit of fun, eh? Going to wait till you’re alone, huh? Wink, wink; nudge, nudge; say no more!”

Vox spit their drink.  

Guests began to arrive steadily, and by the end of that first hour there must have been thirty people who knew Loren and myself piled into our home, chatting vibrantly, drinking from the cases of beer they brought. At one point Alison had Gregor and Vox bring out the cake they had been hiding in the back Gregor’s car around 10pm, and the entire party stopped and sang.  

But by that point I was miserable.

I had received the text from Loren earlier explaining that work was making her stay over. I knew it was bullshit from when I worked there. They made us do it all the time when the district manager or the regional manager were in town. It was just busy work designed to make us feel like we were grunts and show to corporate that we had the hardest working people in the district. Really, it was all for show. But knowing that fact didn’t stop me from being absolutely beside myself with depression as it slipped through the cracks of my medicine induced armor.  

“You ok?” Alison said as she handed me a piece of cake.  

I sighed. Somewhere, someone turned off the music and in that moment I realized that the chatter and the jubilance came to a gentle quiet and people began to ask if I was ok. “You know,” I finally offered, “The majority of you knew me as a complete monster but now? Now you all are here, with me, celebrating today. I shouldn’t be sad, but I am.”

Talia sang, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to,” and there was a light chuckle. I explained that Elena had to work and there was a quiet acknowledgement.  

“This has to do with Loren not being here because of work, right?” Alison asked. I nodded.

Then Vox spoke up, “Hey uhm, I know we’ve only been friends on social media for so long but, I think it’s important to tell you that though it’s late, you still will be able to celebrate with her.”  

I looked up, “Well yeah, but I just wish she could be here right now. I don’t think she will make it home in time for the actual date.”

Vox smiled, “Well, that’s not quite what I mean but, here take a look at this. . .”

Loren

I stepped through the door of our apartment at 12:15 am, holding the cheesecake in one hand, and the bag of groceries in the other. Elena sat on the couch alone and I realized there were party streamers and balloons all over the apartment, and the trash we had managed to collect on various surfaces was all gone.  

“Baby I am so sorry,” I cried as I sat the stuff down on the coffee table in front of her.

“Hun, it’s ok it’s not that big of a deal,” Elena responded, more comforting me than anything else.  

“Work was a nightmare, it was all a racket.”

“I could have told you that.”

“Why didn’t you warn me about these fake audits they do to try to impress corporate.”

“I honestly totally forgot about it. But they don’t usually spring it on you unless the big-wig is there already.”

“He was, but that’s besides the point.” I sat down next to her and opened the cheesecake container. Elena smiled widely.

“My favorite,” she cooed as she reached toward it.  

“Let me get some forks, hun--” a knock at the door.  

“It’s literally after midnight, who could that be?” Elena asked with a smile. Instead of going to the kitchen I went to the door, which was then nearly kicked open by Alison, and in came behind her was Gregor, his roommates, and about 30 other people, filling out our apartment to the brim.  

I started laughing, “What is all this?”

Elena stood up and scooped a tiny bit of cheesecake with her forefinger, she moved carefully around the guests and wiped the cream-cheese on my nose. “Guess what babe, you didn’t miss it.”  

“Happy Birthday, Elena!” Everyone said almost simultaneously, and then with Gregor’s boisterous voice, were led into song. “Happy birthday to you--”

I stood there dumbfounded until Elena said, “Babe, you weren’t late. You were a day early!,” She laughed as the song continued.  

“Well then,” I responded. “Happy birthday, dear Elena. Happy birthday to you,” I sang with the close of the song, ending my vocal talents by kissing my girlfriend on the lips. She smiled into my mouth and returned the kiss, wrapping her arms tight around me, The cream cheese smudged between our faces, and around us people cheered and the sounds of a party ensued. But in that moment, I was lost in the focus of Elena’s lips and the surrealness of where I was in that moment, celebrating the birthday of my favorite person.

Though, this may be super late, happy birthday to my best friend; my favorite person.