#character related c: alter

[passimtemere]

how is your soul perceived?

the strong-willed

your soul has touched darkness and so you learned to wrap yourself within it. you felt fear and decided you would never let it control you again. you're not always all sharp edges and cool stares, but you refuse to be prey again. you turned your teeth into fangs so you would be the one to bite. you learned to growl louder than all the predators who stole your innocence. it may seem like you don't care, sometimes you try to pretend you don't, but i see the way you sharpen your knives when the ones you care about are hurting.

[making-you-in-spore]

pinned post

TRANS RIGHTS!! TERFS GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG!!!!!!!

who are you?

i'm just a guy who likes spore [2008]

why do this?

i just really like spore and making creatures in spore. it helps me practice my creature creation abilities.

can you make my oc in spore?

as of right now i do not take requests. i generally find characters and creatures i want to make by them appearing on my dashboard. refer to the Request Beast.

what is in your icon?

captain thunderhide, my main spore space stage captain.

what is peeling?

peeling is when i remove all detail parts from a creature and show the bare sculpt underneath - anything that is not eyes, mouth, hands, feet, or limbs will be removed. it is a tradition around these parts

do you use mods?

i exclusively play this game with mods.

can i download the creatures you make?

only if the original creator of the design is okay with it and requests a png. please note that in order to successfully download the creatures, you will need to download every mod used to create them.

i will not always be able to say what mods i use to make something, so it's a gamble if you don't have all of the ones i use.

how do i mod spore/do advanced creature creation like you?

darkedgetv's FAQ is a very good resource to begin. i started there, and it's where i recommend you to start if you're interested in spore modding. it also contains many other mods i have not listed under the cut.

as much as i disagree with the process of using a discord server to contain vital information and resources, the davoonline spore modding community discord is also a good source of resources and mods that even i do not use.

what editor mods do you use?

a lot, so they'll be under the cut.

not mods, but highly recommended for enhanced playing experience

4GB patch - Tutorial - patches spore [and other 32bit programs] to be able to use 4gb of RAM. recommended if playing a highly modded copy, and makes the game more stable.

Reshade & ReSpore - post-processing injector & shader that alters the appearance of spore, giving it more detailed shading and vibrant colors. i use this for gameplay and screenshots. runs on GPU power, so excellent if you have a strong graphics card

HD graphics fix - this doesn't actually seem to work for my copy, but it alters the textures of base spore to be more high-quality.

mods that are absolute must-haves

these mods are ones that i use in almost every creation, and add a lot of QoL to the editors. if i forget a mod in a creature png i post, it will be one of these.

Dark injection - THE spore mod. it's likely a lot of other mods you'll download will mesh well with dark injection. you can turn off whatever you don't want to use through the installer.

Universal Property Enhancer - a library mod that many other mods require

The Smoother - a useful tool for building muscles and smoothing out your creatures' bodies

Enhanced Color Picker - a requirement for super detailed creations, enables hexcode color picking and color wheel selection beyond normal limits of spore

[UPE] Infinite Part Scaling - allows scaling of parts near-infinitely, beyond the limits of the original game

Project Skyncraft - adds new creature skinpaints

Unshackled - adds nodes and limbs for creating custom wings, heads, hands, etc. a little bit unstable, i mostly use this for wings.

Spore Stacker - allows stacking of any part

Subtle Rotations - reduces part rotation snapping

Advanced CE - adds building editor manipulators to the creature editor

Every Part Costs Nothing - self explanatory

Rotate Anything - lets you rotate anything, including feet and hands

Advanced Creature Paint - allows for individual coloring of parts on a creature, like in the building and vehicle editors

Ambient Occlusion Disabler - removes baked-on shadows for creatures

Delta Paints - adds new skinpaints

Valla's Skinpaint Switcheroo - adds duplicates of all vanilla, C&C, and GA creature coat and detail skinpaints into their opposite category

test drive related mods

these mods are not required to download the creatures i post, but are recommended for the test drive.

No More Creature Editor Animations - turns off the animations that play when you add eyes, mouth, feet/hands, etc

Sevan's TF2 editor animations - adds multiple animations from tf2 into the creature test drive.

Mx3's Dance Animations - adds a multitude of dance animations into the creature test drive.

Tenebris's Creature Test Drive Animations - adds many animations from within the game to the creature test drive.

EditorBG - adds extra editor backgrounds

Ramone Kemono's MMD Drag Ball - high-effort dance mod complete with special effects and a reverse engineered camera system

part mods

these mods add parts to the editors.

DroneParts 2017 - adds many mechanical and polygonal parts useful for machine creatures, i like to use it for building clothes and markings.

New Drone Parts - a sequel to droneparts 2017, compatible with the old version. install both at the same time if you want to be able to use creatures from the old droneparts mod.

Himeric Engine - adds horror-themed parts to the creature editor.

Spore Resurrection Next Steps - adds a few parts to the creature editor and several new textures to the building and vehicle editors.

Dinosaur Parts - adds parts based on dinosaurs and other animals. mostly heads.

Strange And Beautiful - a now-discontinued, reuploaded mod that adds unusual and unique parts to the creature editor

Bionicle parts - adds a few bionicle pieces to the creature editor

Little Box Of Horrors - adds many parts with an overall horror theme. some are animated.

Pandora's Toolbox [1.0] - adds a multitude of basic shapes and polygons to build with

Replicant - adds non-textured animating parts and non-animating parts in a separate tab. good for if you want to use hands, limbs, etc without them animating or adding stats

Armoured And Dangerous - adds a few high detail mechanical looking parts.

Delimbiter - increases the amount you can scale limb parts, and allows for more crazy movements of certain limb parts

Valla's Vanilla Style Parts - adds several parts which mimic the vanilla style

Wordsmith 2.1 - adds letters to the creature, building, and vehicle editors

Kaiju parts - adds several parts based on popular kaiju

Organic Help - adds many membrane pieces to the creature editor, for creating wing webbing among other things

Project: Mad Mannequins - adds many human body based parts. and a horse for some reason

A Mouth For All Seasons - adds alternate versions of all vanilla mouths [and all unused cell mouths] with alternate diets

Valla's Captain Badges - adds all space badge models into the captain outfitter and creature editor

Rock On! - adds rock props from spore into the building and creature editors

[nevermint-yoongi]

Hi, I am pissed about how the show handled Blood and Cheese. So pissed, in fact, that I made a fucking rubric for you all....

You may have noticed a trend here: The act of making Heleana choose for the pure purpose of making her choose, for so to ignore her choice, is vital to Blood and Cheese and its role in the narrative.

Because Dance of the Dragons, in the books, mirrors a perfect Greek Tragedy.

What is a Greek Tragedy, you ask? It requires two opposing parts, in a disagreement, to be equally right and wrong. One is not better than the other and can never be (to the narrative, not the audience). They can never be anything but what they are, can never change who they are, either because of personal conviction or societal role. Due to this, a Greek Tragedy always ends in death, destruction or deus ex machine (I think you see where this is going).

f.ex: In Antigone by Sophocles, Antigone faces the problem of wanting to bury her brother, forbidden by her Uncle who has deemed said brother a traitor. Antigone is required, as the niece of the King, to follow his word and his law. Antigone is required, as the sister of the traitor, to bury him.

The Greens and the Blacks are these two parts. There is no use in arguing over who is best, who deserves the throne more or who is the most morally depraved. The fact that they are equal in their claims is the point. That is what makes it a Greek Tragedy, because they were both right and there is no correct answer. The problem the show has is that it alters slight details that sets this balance askew.

How does this affect Blood and Cheese, you ask?

Blood and Cheese, fantastically, is its own little Greek Tragedy within the Greek Tragedy that is Dance of the Dragons.

In the show it comes down to if she should sacrifice an heir or her daughter. It is a very practical case. They are asking which one is the boy. She needs to point out the boy to them.

In the book, it comes down to which son should die. There is no pragmatism, no need for Helaena to clarify to her child’s murderers which one is their intended target. It does not have a purpose. It is not meaningful. B&C make her choose because they want to, because they enjoy it, not because they’re bumbling idiots who wanna make sure they’re killing the boy. It needs to be a deliberate choice, untainted by any other thing, of which son needs to die. THIS SHOULD BE THE ONLY CONFLICT FOR HELAENA IN THIS MOMENT – by introducing the confusion over the boy, you have erased the pure cruelty of how senseless them making her choose is.

There is no right or wrong. Helaena choosing Maelor is Antigone tossing dirt upon her brother’s casket. But Blood and Cheese do not care for the tragedy, nor its form. Against his nature as a character, Creon wipes the dirt away and orders Antigone to obey his word. There was never a choice.

How, dear showrunners, do you think this may relate to the overarching themes of Dance of the Dragons, hm??

Do you think, perhaps, that ‘Impossible Choices’ is a running thing in this narrative that needs to be respected and paid attention to???

In the show, the Tragedy plays out as typical. Helaena makes a choice, whether it is the right one or not we cannot tell, but she chooses the boy. Blood and Cheese are not the authors of this Tragedy. They are not playing God. They are merely background actors.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Something about that last post just really fucking irked me.

Normalize asking questions about your experiences and things you're not clear on

Yesterday, I had to ask some friends a question.

Any uterus having people that have had the electro therapy on their back-- very specific but Google isn't helping

Can the electricity on the lower back cause a period???

Wow, fucking cringe, what a faker, doesn't even know how her own uterus works, how do you make it this far in life and not know this stuff, FAKE UTERUS

I was so embarrassed to ask. I was scared, too.

And yet, I got an answer that I hadn't been able to find on my own.

Yes, it can happen.

Nice!

Well, first off, A, thank God I'm not hurt or dying, that's a relief. B, no one laughed. C, this shit isn't common knowledge.

Even if you think it's obvious, it's not.

Things can be related in the weirdest ways, and sound totally strange at first, and they turn out to be totally normal experiences.

What is dissociation?

Doctors say it's super complicated to understand, don't worry, you're not alone.

What's the difference between normal and pathological dissociation?

Oh, boy, let's sit down for this one.

What's the difference between trauma and abuse?

Fantastic question, first, are you doing okay? Second, it's complicated.

Could these two symptoms be related?

FUCKING PROBABLY, let's talk about it.

All these overgeneralized, sweeping statements, made under the guise of "correcting misinformation," and really only trying to prove people wrong instead of educate, hurt other people with that thing.

"Your doctor is ALWAYS right," fuck you, no they're not. "They know you better than you know yourself." Ohhh, fuck no, that's dangerous. "You MUST fit the criteria 😤."

The criteria:

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP?

Because you're failing spectacularly at doing any kind of good for the community you want to "help".

You lost the point so hard that your posts are now actively dangerous to people with CDDs that don't think clinically enough for you. You lost the point when you use papers that directly contradict each other over basic facts, and don't even realize it in your rush to be "right".

"Trust your doctor 100%," about any other disorder, would get you instantly canceled. Are you overweight? A POC? A woman? Trans? A combination? Well, you're fucked.

You, yourself, have probably never thought that.

So why did you say it?

Who cares what they're calling themselves, who cares whether the term is clinical, are they getting the help and support they need? Can we help clarify anything for them?

Using a people focused approach in therapy is totally fine, THIS HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE. It may be a doctor-focused issue, but it's not a treatment issue. In other words, for every doctor that prefers a parts focused approach, there's one that'll use a people focused approach just fine, if that's what you want to do. Good job getting into therapy, congrats! That's what's important.

"Fictives," are so well documented that complaining about them is laughable.

Alters can take years to come forward after events, and may latch onto a character years after their actual formation. Who cares if the person can pinpoint the cause, or if they don't even care enough to try, are they getting the help and support they need???

Instead of saying, "that's impossible," let's start asking, "how can I help?"

Instead of saying, "your opinion is wrong," let's address actual misinformation. Talk to pro/endos about the trauma basis of DID. That matters a fuck ton more than whatever you're arguing about.

Instead of laughing at people who don't know things, learn to socialize and present corrections in a pleasant conversation. God forbid you're seen "being nice," to the other side.

As a very good friend said, better than I ever could, this whole "prioritizing research always over listening to others' lived experiences" is just the plural version of "academic theory on queer experiences is most important." You need both.

Many things can be true, all at the same time. Opinions are onions, they all make me cry or whatever the saying is. Single research papers should never be used generally. If you put all the papers together, anything is possible. This paper doesn't specifically talk about that thing so it's not possible.

Another paper, just a click away:

Are people happy, healthy, and feeling supported in their life?

Fantastic, that's what matters.

This blog is open to basic questions that people are scared to ask. I would also highly recommend sending @cdd-safe-haven those kinds of questions. It's completely unrelated to syscourse, hopefully the information will help more people.

[moonpool-system]

Alterhuman Coining: Phoenitrauma & Phoenitraumagenic

[PT: Alterhuman Coining: Phoenitrauma & Phoenitraumagenic]

🌀 Phoenitrauma 🌀

alternatively: fenitrauma, phenitrauma

Phoenitrauma refers to any trauma someone has experienced/is affected by that originates from a past life, reincarnation, etc. The term is meant to validate the traumatic experience and the post-traumatic effects one might experience from their past lives, but still distinguish itself from trauma experienced within both this world and life. The word is derivative of "phoenixal" and meant to describe a certain type of exotrauma specific to people whose exomemories are from past lives/reincarnation/etc. The symbol is a combination of the phoenixal symbol and the aqua PTSD ribbon, over the phoenixal flag.

This term is meant for all people/beings/etc that experience any sort of reincarnation or past lives, including otherkin/therians, introjected system members, and more. This term does not discriminate between spiritual-based and string-theory-based reincarnation/dimensional concepts.

🌀 Phoenitraumagenic 🌀

alternatively: fenitraumagenic, phenitraumagenic

A system or system member that is phoenitraumagenic originates from phoenitrauma, a specific type of exotrauma stemming from past lives and other reincarnations. This means that the system/member(s) themselves stemmed from pre-existing phoenitrauma, rather than it simply coming with their exomemories.

Example 1: Member A has a traumatic past life, and Member B forms to cope with a specific aspect of that trauma. Member B is phoenitraumagenic.

Example 2: The system has no existing past life connection to Character C, but when Fictive C showed up, they found themself to be deeply affected by the exotrauma they experienced. Fictive C has phoenitrauma, but is not phoenitraumagenic.

Example 3: Member E has phoenitrauma from a bad experience in a previous reincarnation. Eventually, Member E splits a subsystem specifically centered around the phoenitrauma experienced. Member E's subsystem is phoenitraumagenic.

Example 4: Member G unlocks memories of a past life, and due to the trauma related to that past life, their identity is drastically altered to present completely as that past life. Member G is phoenitraumagenic.

Some alternative flags & symbols!

🌀 For use by all alterhumans; these terms are not gatekept, but phoenitraumagenic is a term intended for systems/plurals/etc. Hate will be removed. 🌀

[funishment-time]

now that i'm halfway-ish thru V3: revisiting my OG predictions

YET TO BE SEEN:

Shuichi survives

Miu survives

Kokichi survives

Rantaro is a) some kind of robot or clone, b) related to Junko somehow, or c) an antagonist or villain

Gonta is a murderer

Gonta kills Kaito

Kaito is a victim

Keebo is a victim

Tsumugi is a mastermind/related to mastermind

Himiko is a mastermind/related to mastermind

Himiko is a murderer

Himiko manipulated into doing something awful

Junko is in the game

Alter Ego is in the game

Miu has breakdown over Keebo in some way

Ryoma related to other characters in DR universe somehow

DISPROVEN:

Kork survives

Maki kills Angie and/or Tenko

Kirumi kills Keebo

Himiko kills Ryoma

I WAS RIGHT BITCHES:

Angie is a victim, case 3

Tenko is a victim, case 3

Kirumi is a murderer

Ryoma is a victim

Tenko has yuri subtext

KINDA BUT NOT IN THE WAY I EXPECTED:

Maki is a murderer

Game is an AU retelling of DR1 (symbolically, imo)

not bad so far

[blindbeta]

hi! i'm currently writing a blind character in a futuristic sci-fi setting (think fifth element). some backstory just so there's additional context: she's orphaned as a baby, and while very young, contracts a virus that leaves her with minimal light and shadow perception. she later gets adopted, and her father acts as her guide until she's 12. when she turns 12, she's gifted a droid who acts as her mobility aid (visually, her droid is similar in design/size of r2-d2 from star wars). i thought this fit the futuristic setting. here's my question. originally, i had her (let's call her C) commission a special pair of glasses that connect to her droid so it can see what she sees and better help it guide her in public spaces, especially if it's too loud for her to hear it or if they get separated somehow, because the glasses have an auditory link for them to communicate with each other. after doing more research, i've learned that the "blind character covering their eyes" trope is super common and kind of looked down upon in the blind community. i'm really worried now, as someone sighted, that i've fallen for it by designing C's mobility aid this way. have i? and if i have, what is some advice or tips for ways i could alter this to where it doesn't come across as trope-y? should i get rid of the glasses, scrap the droid idea completely, etc?

Guide Droid And Character Covering Her Eyes With Glasses

The glasses remind me a bit of the OrCam My Eye, which is a pair glasses and an ear piece. You have an already-existing precedent for this. Additionally, my main concern with covering eyes, which I discuss here, [link], is that there is often no thought or explanation behind why a character’s eyes must be covered. Narratives often twist themselves into knots simply to cover a blind person’s eyes with something like sunglasses or a blindfold, which the character never removes.

Regular glasses are, however, a different story. Regular glasses are transparent. They are usually for protection of the eyes. They may also make objects slightly clearer, which can reduce eye strain. Not that your character will need to worry about that.

The glasses are not able to correct vision. They serve a purpose, and one that isn’t covering the person’s eyes.

My suggestion is to provide an explanation for the glasses and make sure they are see-through. They shouldn’t be sunglasses unless she has transition lenses, which can protect her from damaging UV rays.

The key is not to cover up your character’s eyes. Especially for no particular reason.

However, if you are worried about the glasses, you can also simply have bone-conducting ear piece that sits on top of her ear. Avoid implants or anything that might disrupt her hearing or other senses.

The Guide Droid

Speaking of senses, having a droid as her guide means she will miss out on a lot of tactile information provided by a cane and, to a lesser extent, a guide dog. For example, a handler can feel elevation.

Walking behind a droid is not going to provide that same information.

Yes, there is a step down, but where? Is it an even step or does it curve? Are the steps the same width?

I suggest giving her a cane, as they can be used with sighted guide and to a lesser degree, service animals. Her using a cane won’t interfere with a droid the same way it might with a guide dog or horse.

Alternatively, you can also find a way to connect them so she can get tactile information. Another, cuter option might be a droid service animal with a more futuristic harness.

About Using Sighted Guide Until She is 12

Something about this bothers me.

Sighted guide is a legitimate form of O&M and can increase independence in a way only blind folks can relate to. I also know that sighted guide may be more encouraged in some cultures that value interdependence. Sighted guide is a great and should be used more in fiction. I personally prefer it in unfamiliar areas and at night time.

However, it also feels off to me that she so happens to use a human guide all her life and not a cane. It may be because I am imagining times where her father may not be able to accompany her. Or perhaps I am sensitive to the lack of mobility aids in fiction that feature blind characters.

Lastly, cane skills are a part of O&M, which is needed before being able to work properly with a guide animal. I think she should have at least some cane skills and some navigation techniques even if she prefers to have her father guide her. This also gives her more agency to experiment and choose what is comfortable for her.

Here is a post I made about mobility aids that might help.

I hope this helps.

[artivessel]

a few questions to help alters figure out who they are and introduce themselves to others!

B A S I C

Name and nicknames?:

Do you feel older or younger? Age (range)?:

Sexuality? Types of attractions?:

How would you describe your gender and pronouns?:

Role:

Fragment or Alter?:

How would you describe your appearance? Drop faceclaims and picrews:

Human or non-human? Elaborate if you can:

What caused you to split?:

Music taste?:

Likes:

Dislikes:

Kins, relatable characters and sources:

Any media you enjoy?:

Favorite/Disliked food?:

Describe your personality:

Favorite colors and themes?:

Typology:

Do you relate to any mental illnesses?:

How do symptoms affect you?:

Are you safe?:

Other:

A L T E R

Any memories you’d like to mention?:

How much amnesia do you experience?:

What is the last thing you remember?:

Significant events you were part of:

Who did/do you interact with?:

Do you prefer to mask or would you like to meet others?:

Who would you like to meet?:

If you don’t want to, why?:

What are your thoughts on other parts?:

Do you have any connections with other parts?:

What do you think of other people in our life? Family, friends:

Do you have any specific triggers? Positive/negative:

What does dissociation feel like for you?:

How do you act in real life (when masking less)?:

How do you act online (when masking less)?:

P R E S E N T

What are you doing right now?:

What caused you to front?:

Do you have a memory of what happened?:

Are you speaking to anyone?:

How was the switch?:

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Right this is discourse so keep scrolling for the ones who want a peaceful life

Addressing this:

Racist: I’m really not, I’ve spoken multiple times on this and it’s easy to find those posts. ALL I SAID WAS I DONT LIKE SOME RAP MUSIC and in general I prefer music I can relate back to me. (Aka aroace vibe songs, some general angry music etc lots of ones about mental health, sad and slow songs or dance music) or my characters (rebellion music this contains more rap to my knowledge) I would also like to state that I suck at ID-ing music genres so I may be listening to more then i know

Ableist: I don’t even know what that is so I can’t exactly address it?? I will say I’m welcoming to all plural (??) people, I just ask that the host? The main guy? Don’t claim things on behalf of an alter (??) such as: if they’re (main person) not aroace but the alter is, the main person shouldn’t speak about aroace things, only the alter and viceversa

Aggressive antiship: which is hilarious as I wrote gay fics in my free time. I’m not anti ship, I’m anti some ships… like every other person

Exclusionist: no. Never. I’m 100% welcoming to all sex favourbility and I challenge you to find different. Just because I haven’t spoken about it doesn’t mean I’m against it?? I personally am not sex favourable so I can’t speak on it from a personal perspective… idk this one’s weird NEXT

M spec lesbian and gay exclusionist: bestie this one made me laugh as one of the main reasons I got hate on my old (first) blog was I said I supported lesbians who may one day be attracted to men (I don’t remember if the term mspec was a thing then-) secondly; what’s a gay exclusionist?? Like a homophobe?? Huh???

I won’t even address the darvo tactics one. As a) this is the internet and b) lmao. And c) I could say anything and this person would still say it was DARVO. I literally apologised to one of the people involved privately and in full (an ask send from my main, like 200 words ish) and they just never replied to it and their next post was a reblog still calling for me to apologise 6 hours later…

So get fucked with that one. You’re clutching at straws there. I don’t want you on my blog and you’re already blocked but this post is for those I missed in the blocking game. Leave. We can exist away from each other.

[budgetbuildsystem]

This may be a bit long of a read, as a notice:

Introjection and "source memories" (a common term used in the community, though other common terms are pseudomemories [a more ) are a complex thing and whether or not any introjects (fictives, factives, other kinds that cannot be organized in such a way) even develop them varies greatly between systems.

Some introjects' memories "update" with whatever their source is, while others do not.

Coming from a more psychological view of why introjects' can form pseudomemories:

Psueodomemories are often there to "explain" or sort of to be a "backstory" for the alter in question. Maybe to be a better way to explain why their personality is the way it is, or why they have the fears they have. Pseudomemories though often can be there as "coverups", or ways to show what you all collectively or the body may have gone through, while still providing a kind of "safe distance" from the body trauma. A good example would be A (a system) goes through trauma as a child. C splits off at some point with pseudomemories related to things that while aren't a 1:1 to the body's trauma, still hold feelings and maybe similar experiences to what the body went through. This time though, since in the mind these memories aren't exactly the same as the body's, it may be processed a bit seperately so you may have time to process those invidually and may come to realise that processing that opened up for being able to better process and understand the body's trauma later on when you have tools. In a way, C having these memories may also serve as a way to not trigger other alters who DO have memories of the bodily trauma, but since they're a bit more "distanced" from it in a way, the chances of triggering others out or causing a chain reaction may be a bit lower thus processing this overall may be a bit easier. Though easier doesn't necessarily mean it won't be difficult, at the very least it may mean that there are less chances of triggering multiple alters or a chain reaction if you have "coverup" memories.

Though this isn't the case for every single memory, and still trying to dig could end up in triggering something so regardless if they are source memories or body memories, I suggest you treat all of this with care and take it slow.

Pseudomemories aren't always a cover up as I said before, and sometimes they can just be there to provide a backstory or even just some sort of comfort.

I think tying this into why introjects form could be beneficial, but I'll leave it at that. And again, not every introject has their memories "updated" either. "Non-canon" introjects or introjects who don't follow their source 1:1 is also very common, and I'd argue simply is what happens to anyone given the fact that people can grow. Characters can not (in a way, they only grow as far as narrated). Introjects are not their source, and naturally introjects are the system's mix of interpretation, what the system needs at the time (say A splits off C who is based off of someone, but only splits off more resilient or positive traits of them because that's what's needed at the time), and probably a few other things I'm missing.

Keep in mind that it really also depends on your all's outlook of source memories too. I'm speaking from a very medical side of things, and also more strictly about DID/OSDD, so this may not apply if it's something you all experience moreso from spirituality, etc.

So essentially, yes it could be that Astarion doesn't feel comfortable enough or wants to keep things private. It could also be that Astarion doesn't have many memories or even memories of what happened as you all continued playing. It really just depends, but at the very least I will reiterate to just take this slow. Pseudomemories can be just as personal and often very intimate part of alters' lives.

I really appreciate this break down and honestly it makes a lot of sense. Sometimes the things astarion went through in source do slightly mirror my own feelings and thoughts. But yes I do try to give him his privacy as I know he is more than just a character in my head, he's a part of me and his own person at the same time.

[17-noodlebird]

presenting...

The Amazing Digital Circus Road Trip AU!!!! 🎪🛣️🎉

I finally have the courage to post something of genuine purpose here!!!

So this is the summary:

• The events prior to the road trip were… eventful, for lack of a better term. To make a long story short, a group of dimensional travelers opened the eyes of the Amazing Digital Circus, both for better and for worse. What started out so rocky ended up becoming a closer bond for them, as they learned more about the other dimensions, and maybe, just maybe, the enigmatic inner machinations of C&A and their perpetually dark history.

• About 6 months went by since then, with Bubble, and four of the interdimensional diplomats, Beth, Pam, Val, and Garcia, creating brand new maps for the game that the others could explore, while completing tasks, gaining artifacts, and meeting brand new people, all while keeping the details secret until it was ready. The other diplomats each had their own contributions to their own game maps, as did Bubble, but only one knew the ending of the road trip: the main diplomat Lulu.

• The road trip would be akin to the world level-based collect-a-thon video games, a la the Super Mario Odyssey, and the role-playing games a la the Steven Universe: Light series. Twenty-six designated levels were made, each with a different theme, animation style, culture, customs, interactable NPCs, characters in need of help, and antagonists/bosses that they can defeat.

• There is a door made out of mountain rock that needs to be unlocked, using all twenty-six (or twenty-eight, depending on your point of view on the matter) jewels, to unlock the “ending” of the road trip; no one else, not even Bubble, knows what's behind the rock door — no one, that is, except Lulu. She says that it's a surprise for afterwards. Each gem is hidden somewhere in their respective worlds, and the players need to obtain and collect all of the jewels in order to open that door by completing tasks, fulfilling objectives, and defeating antagonists. While the circus players pack their things into the Magical Digital Van (a combo of the Magic School Bus for the cutesy face that only communicates in beeps or radio music, and Vanzilla from The Loud House, in terms of retro appearance and spaciousness in cargo and passengers), Garcia gives Caine a silver-colored crystalline gem, causing a “YOU DID IT” pop-up to appear, startling him. Apparently, the pop-up appears when a jewel is obtained after completing the location’s objective. After the first jewel is placed in the middle of the rock door, The Amazing Digital Circus sets off for fun and adventure, thrills and peril, comedy and tragedy, action and excitement, an obscure all-star cast of side characters, heroes, villains, pop culture references, ties to nostalgia, relatability, and… possibly romance…...? Who knows? The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.

• Each of the Digital Circus members have magical Velcro bracelet communicators that they can use to contact the diplomats for help on tasks, finding out further information, or to just talk to them the same way we'd talk to our loved ones on the phone for hours on end. The communicators also send the circus members notifications for an objective they must complete (do keep in mind they can come much later than usual when they least expect it), as well as random achievements, the same way you would when actually playing a video game. Once a jewel has been obtained by any means, the pop-up will congratulate the circus members for grabbing the jewel, as well as to notify how many left you need to obtain to unlock the rock door. For example:

~ JEWEL OBTAINED! ~

15 out of 26

Only 11 remain

~~~~

Characters:

The original eight characters have been slightly altered to fit the AU, but still have most of their canon traits intact.

• Caine:

Caine is still the charismatic goofball we all know and love, but with a dash of nervousness, inability to understand human humor, especially Gen Z humor, and hints of newfound irritability. He's practically a fish out of water in most of these game locations, not really capable of self-defense outside of his signature cane, and being a lot more cautious and protective with his fellow members, especially his best friend and guide, Pomni. Caine sometimes acts as the dad friend of the group, not tolerating anyone's BS and trying to maintain order in situations he's absolutely not familiar with at all. When around Pomni, he feels kinda at ease, with their dynamic being akin to SpongeBob and Patrick when working together. Hell, Jax even refers to Caine and Pomni as The Dynamic Duo.

• Bubble:

Still the chaotic, anarchy-loving glutton we all know and love, but with a caring side to him. You see, for as long as Bubble could remember, he had been Caine's sole confidant, being there for him during his toughest battles, from witnessing yet another abstraction, to calming the ringleader down after a nasty panic attack. They're even roommates! (my god, they were roommates) Bubble would totally just go with the flow and not worry too much about having to adapt to an environment completely different than his own. In fact, his masochistic tendencies make the perils more thrilling for him! He'd also act as the mom friend of the bunch, acting as some sort of mediator for when things get too chaotic for his liking. He'll also lend a helping hand if so desired.

•Pomni:

She's still jittery and anxious, but thankfully not as bad as when she first arrived at The Amazing Digital Circus. After several months of dealing with this game's BS, she developed an indifference to her situation as a defense mechanism, and has become something of a voice of reason to the others. Jesters in real life are known for not just providing entertainment and comedic nitpicks to the royal court, but were also considered their royal advisors. Pomni would become Caine's advisor after some constructive criticisms towards him and his methods of keeping the others sane and healthy, and later on his best friend, acting as Bubble's stand in from time to time, providing witty banter and friendly roast sessions with the other circus members. Jax often calls Pomni and Caine “The Dynamic Duo” because of the fact that they share some things in common: both can turn into nervous wrecks during stressful situations, both are hilarious to be around, both want to keep the circus happy and healthy, and both care immensely for the well-being of everyone around them. Rumor has it they're also drinking buddies; but nothing has been confirmed…

• Ragatha:

Still our cheerful and good-natured ragdoll, with big sister/ant tendencies. Her hugs are as soft as they are warm and reassuring. She'd be the one to always look on the bright side, even when surrounded by unfamiliar surroundings, kinda like Ruby Gloom. She still has to keep an eye on Jax and make sure he doesn't get up to no good, but during moments where Ragatha and Jax must work together, there are things they can learn from one another. Ragatha would teach Jax the importance of being kind to others as well as taking time to listen and understand them, while Jax could teach Ragatha how to be more assertive and set proper boundaries, making her less of a passive pushover and more confident in taking care of herself first. Ragatha could also attract animals and have them help around with chores, a la Snow White.

• Jax:

Jax is less of a condescending asshole and more of a Jerk With A Heart Of Gold, becoming Pomni's big brother figure when necessary. Sometimes, he and Pomni would get into comedic hijinks of their own, as regular siblings naturally would, even pulling off harmless pranks. Jax is still snarky as always, but this time, being more genre savvy than the others, taking notes of his surroundings, and apparently has a lot of knowledge about agriculture, which proves useful for one particular road trip location. He'll also go out of his way to give someone a hug if he sense someone is in dire need of one, and will offer helpful advice during his more rare moments of kindness.

• Gangle:

Still the cute and bubbly but also emotional and prone to crying talking theater mask, but with hidden depths. Her love for anime and all things Japan is generally what keeps her going, as well as her love for drawing. Gangle doesn't really contribute much other than trying to be as helpful as possible, especially after finding out she can use her ribbons as a rope! Golly! She is, however, incredibly intelligent, with a knack for math, science, and history, as we come to find out in a road trip location, and can even speak and translate Japanese. When Gangle decides to grow a spine in protecting her friends from harm or bullying (even Jax, surprisingly), her voice has a tendency to change to a more mature and assertive business-like tone (remember that her VA, Marissa Lenti, was once the voice of a high school guidance counselor until… y'know.) to show you that you really shouldn't fuck with her. This causes Jax to rethink picking on Gangle ever again at one point.

• Zooble:

Honestly, not much can be said about Zooble, other than they're mostly apathetic, slightly rude, and snarky, being there cuz they can. They, along with Bubble, kinda just go with the flow, but now has the ability to become awestruck or starstruck by the other circus members’ newfound abilities, including Gangle's rope ribbons. Zooble also takes time to appreciate the little things in life, enjoying the much-needed change of pace the road trip brings. They're basically the emo goth kid in terms of personality, but with layers like an onion. Zooble also acts as the bodyguard of the circus members, somehow discovering her prowess in defensive combat, fueled by the innate desire to protect their loved ones at all costs.

• Kinger:

The oldest surviving member of the circus, Kinger still retains his ability to get startled easily from constantly dissociating, his love for insects and insect collecting, and his knack for building pillow forts. Due to being the oldest, he now acts as the group’s grandpa, with his “back in my day” kind of storytelling, and apparent knowledge of how the digital world works. He also offers some life advice on how to get through even the toughest days, him having lived through it long ago with Queenie’s abstraction, and is noticeably a lot more chipper and compassionate during the road trip. He also becomes braver and more empathetic in one particular road trip location, with him becoming less startled easily over time. He apparently is also a tech genius (in reference to MatPat and finnthepony’s theory on Kinger’s past life as The Amazing Digital Circus’s game dev), having knowledge on how to fix machines and software, as well as acting as the gang's mechanic for the Magical Digital Van.

~~~~

• The Magical Digital Van:

Built by Bubble, Kinger, Val, and Beth, the Magical Digital Van is the main vehicle the circus members use for the road trip, traveling to different destinations and stops along the way. The Van has a cutesy face that pays homage to The Magic School Bus, with her own emotions and reactions, but can only communicate in van noises, horn beeps, and radio music. Yes, the Van is a girl; a lot of vehicles in real life (including ships) are referred to by female pronouns. Kinger especially loves the Van like he would his girlfriend, much to the chagrin of everyone else.

~~~~

• Potential ships(?):

I might be the only one in a sea of Showtime, Bluetooth, and Kingleader, among others on this platform, but I actually do ship Caine x Bubble. When I first saw the pilot, I thought to myself, “yep. These two definitely have chemistry.” I see them as one of those old bickering couples that like to tease each other. They've basically been through thick and thin, gray skies and sunny days, tears of laughter, and everything in between. Also, I'm in love with the idea of Caine just being a tsundere; I find it pretty hilarious to me. And Pomni being the Shipper On Deck in the background. I have a particular fondness for the unusual.

Another ship mentioned here is Jax x Ragatha. Remember The Princess & The Frog where Naveen taught Tiana to relax a little, while Tiana taught Naveen to take life more seriously and work harder to achieve his goals? Well, it's essentially that, like rivals to lovers or something. I love when “opposites attract” is done properly, especially here!

Bluetooth (Moon x Caine) would have been canon in this AU at one point in the past, but now The Moon and Caine are exes (y'all can have exes in fiction btw!). In the past, Caine and Moon dated (and at one point did the deed, *wink wink*), but after the Moon became too clingy and possessive, with a yandere attitude, Caine broke up with her, and Pomni would have helped both the Moon and Caine move on from the breakup, realizing what they had was not healthy. This “adventure”/off-screen episode would be mentioned here and there during the road trip (I want to assume the road trip is like a Season 3 thing, but the show's success might contradict this; oh, well) while Bubble and Caine try to take things slowly.

Hints of Gangle x Zooble (aptly named Google by the masses) can be found, but only in subtext. Zooble makes an in-passing comment on how they find Gangle's assertive voice to be hot at one point.

~~~~

This AU pays homage to… well… A LOT of things that I enjoy watching over the years. It takes a look back on the things I found nostalgic as a kid growing up in the late 2000s and early 2010’s, including things that might also be familiar to other older generations of Gen Z. My most recent fixations (such as Unikitty) can also be found there, including random YouTubers I used to watch all the time, horror movies I grew fond of, some cartoons I still watch, such as Steven Universe, The Loud House, Teen Titans Go of all shows, the DreamWorks and Disney movies I watched as a kid, the older Gen Z memes we're familiar with by now, other video games we used to play all the time, among many others. I also wanted to spice up the variety of the fandom with my own interpretations of the characters, as well as some neat ideas I wanted to share when I conceived them.

With that being said, I hope you enjoyed this summary of my brand new AU idea!

Welcome one and all to

The Amazing Digital Road Trip!

[gambieau]

i’m sharing this detailed assessment of remy lebeau’s mental health to provide a deeper understanding of his character. as many of you know, remy is a character with a rich and often difficult past. his personality and experiences are shaped by a blend of trauma, neurodevelopmental conditions, and even the impact of a surgery that altered his brain. this analysis offers a detailed look into how his mental health impacts his behavior, relationships, and decisions — considering his background, neurodivergence, and the impact of trauma. by examining these aspects, i attempt to create a more nuanced portrayal of remy, one that i severely miss in canon storytelling.

while these interpretations blend canon and headcanon, they serve as a grounding point for how i write remy and how he moves through the world. if you're interested in exploring any of these dynamics further in our writing, i'm always open to collaborating and discussing how they can be incorporated into our stories together.

neurodevelopmental conditions:

remy navigates the world through the lens of both autism and adhd, which significantly shape his interactions and experiences. his adhd manifests as challenges in maintaining focus on tasks that fail to capture his interest, often leading to impulsivity, restlessness, and a tendency to act without fully considering the consequences. while he can hyperfocus on activities that ignite his passion — such as honing his skills, nurturing certain relationships, or delving into specific intellectual pursuits — he frequently neglects other important aspects of his life. this dynamic creates a chaotic internal landscape, where he swings between extremes of vigorous activity and complete inertia.

remy’s impulsivity, especially, can lead to risky behaviors that endanger both himself and those around him. he often charges into confrontations without a plan or makes decisions that lack forethought. this impulsive nature arises, also, from a blend of his neurodivergent traits and the heightened emotional states triggered by his trauma. in moments of stress, he may resort to thrill-seeking behaviors as a means of escaping overwhelming emotions or asserting control in chaotic situations.

in addition to these traits, remy grapples with specific challenges related to attention and focus, such as difficulty maintaining concentration on tasks, susceptibility to distractions, and struggles with organization and time management. his hyperactivity manifests as restlessness and an ongoing need for movement, while emotional regulation proves to be a significant hurdle, exacerbating feelings of anxiety and stress. executive functioning issues complicate his ability to plan, organize, and execute tasks effectively.

remy’s autism further influences his sensory processing, communication style, and emotional regulation. although he is adept at masking these traits,he often grapples with feelings of social disconnection and misunderstanding. his tendency to intellectualize emotions and disengage from social subtleties can make him appear aloof or distant. while routine and structure provide him with comfort, his adhd often pulls him away from strict adherence to plans, leading to frustration and anxiety. he is known for subtle stims, such as tapping fingers, humming, and rocking. remy also vocally stims through echolalia — repetitive sentences or quotes from movies, social media, etc. 

trauma disorders:

remy’s life is profoundly shaped by the multiple layers of trauma he has endured, culminating in both c-ptsd and ptsd. his childhood was marked by abandonment, violence, and a relentless struggle for survival on the streets of new orleans. it fostered hypervigilance and a strong mistrust of others. these early traumas have instilled patterns of emotional dysregulation, and, as a result, remy often experiences a fragmented identity, feeling disconnected from his sense of self and grappling with conflicting versions of who he is — the charming scoundrel he presents to the world versus the vulnerable individual he conceals.

dissociation is a strong symptom of his c-ptsd, though not cause exclusively by it. he frequently feels detached from his body or experiences episodes where reality seems distorted. it hinder his ability to engage fully in the present. his disconnection from emotions and past experiences complicates his ability to process grief, joy, or trauma, often causing him to feel lost in his own life. additionally, remy struggles with emotional intimacy; after a lifetime of abandonment and betrayal, his c-ptsd prompts him to shut down emotionally. although he can project a charming facade, deeper feelings often remain hidden. he may appear level-headed in dangerous situations, a defense mechanism learned in childhood, where vulnerability was seen as a weakness. however, these repressed emotions can resurface later as nightmares or panic attacks.

in addition to c-ptsd, remy carries ptsd rooted in specific traumatic events that haunt him; the mutant massacre in the morlock tunnels, his experiences under sinister or apocalypse, those days lost in antarctica trying not to day — to cite a few. these experiences manifest as flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and nightmares, often compelling him to relive moments of betrayal and extreme danger. the interplay of c-ptsd and ptsd creates a constant state of tension for remy, where even minor stressors can trigger intense emotional reactions, ranging from rage to profound sadness or withdrawal. this relentless turmoil leaves him feeling overwhelmed and trapped within his own mind.

a significant aspect of remy's struggle is his hypervigilance; he is perpetually on high alert, scanning his surroundings for potential threats, whether real or imagined. this state of vigilance sharpens his skills as a thief, enabling him to detect even the slightest shifts in his environment. however, the mental toll of this constant vigilance leads to perpetual stress and fatigue. additionally, remy suffers from recurrent nightmares that force him to relive the terrors of his life, disrupting his sleep and making restful nights elusive.moments which escape him once awake, though his subconscious remains reeling in the aftermath. he also grapples with flashbacks triggered by certain situations, which transport him back to his childhood or formative years, especially during instances of physical violence or coercion. compounding these challenges is a deep sense of internalized guilt, exacerbated by his ptsd, which manifests as self-doubt and a belief that he deserves punishment, often extending to feelings of responsibility for his abandonment or mistreatment.

remy’s traumatic history has instilled in him a profound fear of abandonment, making him hesitant to forge close relationships. his rejection sensitive dysphoria amplifies this fear, causing even minor criticisms or perceived slights to feel deeply personal and painful. this can trigger intense emotional responses, sometimes leading him to overanalyze interactions and spiral into feelings of inadequacy. to avoid perceived rejection, he often goes to great lengths, even if it means pushing people away. this paradox leads him to sabotage relationships before they can deepen, acting out in ways that drive others away. when he does connect with someone, he swings between craving closeness and fearing it, resulting in anxiety and emotional upheaval.

personality development:

trauma has significantly shaped remy lebeau's personality, leading to traits associated with borderline personality disorder. his intense fear of abandonment, emotional instability, and pervasive feelings of emptiness are deeply intertwined with his experiences of betrayal and neglect. remy's tumultuous childhood has given him a profound sense of worthlessness and a belief in his disposability. this history fosters chronic distrust, making it difficult for him to form close emotional connections and compelling him to view relationships as fragile and conditional, always anticipating betrayal.

this instability can lead to volatile relationships, where moments of connection quickly devolve into conflict or withdrawal. when feeling threatened or vulnerable, he resorts to defensive mechanisms such as sarcasm or emotional detachment, shielding himself from potential hurt. despite forming attachments, remy has learned to suppress his softer emotions, presenting a charming façade that keeps others at a distance even when he deeply cares. however, in rare moments of safety he may allow himself to be vulnerable, often accompanied by feelings of shame or regret.

remy’s anxious attachment style, rooted in his traumatic experiences, manifests prominently in his relationships. his intense need for closeness and validation often clashes with a profound fear of abandonment. while he projects an image of self-reliance, beneath the surface lies a deep dependence on others and an aversion to solitude. this tension may lead him to avoid situations that force him to confront his emotional vulnerabilities, downplaying his need for connection.

remy’s internal fear of rejection makes it difficult for him to fully trust or open up, causing misunderstandings and conflicts that arise even without conscious intent. instead of verbalizing his attachment, he expresses it through actions — demonstrating commitment by helping marie or ensuring her safety — while avoiding direct discussions about his fears. this overcompensation reflects a desire to prove his worth without confronting the emotional aspects of the relationship. ultimately, his reluctance to engage in difficult conversations stems from a belief that addressing issues could jeopardize the connection, leading him to prefer silence as a protective measure.

emotional detachment & dissociation:

detachment refers to an emotional or cognitive withdrawal from certain situations, people, or feelings. while it serves as a protective mechanism against emotional pain, it can also hinder the depth of relationships and experiences. as aforementioned, remy often struggles to form deep emotional connections, even with those he cares about. his past experiences have taught him that intimacy can lead to hurt, prompting him to instinctively keep others at arm's length, despite his longing for connection. he may find it challenging to express his true emotions, opting instead for a cool, indifferent, or sarcastic demeanor in difficult situations.

rather than sharing his feelings of fear, shame, or anxiety, remy adopts a stoic or detached persona. he perceives emotional vulnerability as a weakness that could be exploited, a lesson learned from his childhood experiences of betrayal and mistrust. this guardedness is particularly evident in his romantic relationships; although he feels deeply for her, he often avoids meaningful conversations out of fear of rejection or abandonment. remy tends to compartmentalize his emotions and experiences, mentally separating his past trauma from his current life. this coping strategy allows him to navigate day-to-day life without being overwhelmed by memories of childhood abuse. however, this compartmentalization can be problematic, as repressed emotions may resurface during moments of stress or vulnerability.

dissociation represents a more extreme form of detachment, wherein an individual mentally disconnects from their surroundings, emotions, or even their sense of self. this response is common among those who have experienced trauma, providing a means to escape the reality of their pain. remy may experience moments of disconnection from himself or his surroundings, feeling as if he is observing his life from a distance. 

this defense mechanism, developed during his childhood, helps him cope with abuse or exploitation by mentally “checking out.” he often feels this numbness during stressful moments, conflicts, or instances of intimacy when emotions become overwhelming. in high-stress situations, remy might zone out, functioning on autopilot. this dissociative response can occur when he is reminded of past trauma, even if only subconsciously. remy may feel as though he is “playing a role” rather than being his authentic self. this form of dissociation detaches him from his true identity, causing him to adopt a more confident, daring persona. his transgender identity intersects with this experience, as feelings of dysphoria or disconnection from his body can reinforce his dissociative tendencies.

impact of sinister’s brain surgery:

perhaps one of the most defining moments in remy’s life was the surgery performed on him by mr. sinister, which fundamentally altered parts of his brain. this procedure, an exploratory craniotomy that affected both his amygdala and hippocampus, has had profound consequences on his emotional regulation, memory processing, and impulse control. the amygdala plays a critical role in processing emotions like fear and aggression, and the hippocampus is essential for forming memories and linking them to emotions. by tampering with these areas, sinister left remy with a heightened sense of emotional detachment, making it difficult for him to connect emotionally with past experiences and people.

this detachment manifests in a blunting of emotional responses, particularly when dealing with memories or relationships that should be significant to him. he experiences a disconnect between his emotions and his actions, which can make him seem cold or distant even when he's struggling internally. the surgery has also exacerbated his impulsivity, making it harder for him to control reckless behaviors or pause to reflect before acting. this is further compounded by his powers, which require him to channel energy without fully understanding the long-term effects on his brain and body.

impact of the hearing loss:

as one of the results of the brain surgery, remy’s had partial hearing loss. this fact can influence his mental health in several ways, particularly exacerbating some of his symptoms. remy feels even more anxious when crowded spaces are also noisy, trying to overcompensate by focusing on visual cues — that in turn aggravates his mental fatigue and feelings of hypervigilance, not to mention the sensory overload from attempting to understand both visual and auditory input. his hyperfocus on ensuring safety and detecting danger through non-auditory cues could also aggravate ptsd symptoms, leading to heightened stress responses. so he seeks solitude, which in turn reinforces his social avoidance and further promotes his feelings of isolation.

the additional mental load of dealing with partial hearing loss worsens some of his adhd symptoms. it might increase his distractibility in settings where he struggles to hear or create extra layers of frustration when his brain is already trying to compensate for executive dysfunction. depending on his mood, the situation may lead to perceived incompetence and low self-esteem. and, as someone who already grapples with complex identity issues, remy might see his hearing loss as a further complication of his identity. it is a further step into losing control of who he is, adds more vulnerability to his sense of self.

coping mechanisms:

remy’s relationship with food and cooking is just one facet of how he copes with his complex mental health landscape. however, this passion is tinged with a complicated history; growing up in a food-insecure environment, remy often associates food with scarcity and survival. this can lead to disordered eating patterns, such as binge eating during moments of emotional turmoil or restricting food intake as a misguided attempt at control.

he may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, undermining opportunities for happiness or success as a form of self-punishment. despite knowing the harm in these actions, he continues down dangerous paths. remy finds solace in his powers and the thrill of his work as a thief, or even in casual sexual encounters. while these activities provide an adrenaline rush that distracts him from emotional pain, they also serve as a double-edged sword. the high-stakes nature of his lifestyle can lead to increased impulsivity and risk-taking behaviors, resulting in encounters that exacerbate his trauma.

another significant coping mechanism is his reliance on humor and charm. remy often uses wit as a shield, deflecting deeper emotional discussions with sarcasm and lighthearted banter. this strategy allows him to engage socially while maintaining a safe distance from vulnerability. however, this behavior can prevent him from forming genuine connections, leaving him feeling isolated even in the company of others.

remy’s partial hearing loss is a more recent challenge that impacts his mental health, although he manages it with a mindset focused on neutrality rather than optimism. he employs adaptive communication strategies — such as lip-reading, situational awareness, and, when necessary, assistive devices. this is less about pride or strength and more about maintaining his autonomy and clear communication. socially, he tries avoiding overstimulating environments, preferring to engage in spaces where he can rely on non-auditory senses and cues like body language and touch to navigate interactions. in moments of frustration, he uses neutral self-talk to accept his disability as a fact of life rather than as something to overcome or define him. 

in moments of acute distress, remy may retreat into solitude, preferring to deal with his emotions in isolation rather than seeking help from others. this withdrawal can lead to cycles of rumination, where he becomes trapped in negative thought patterns, reflecting on past traumas without a constructive outlet. his desire for self-sufficiency often clashes with his need for support, creating a tension that can spiral into greater emotional struggles.

while remy's coping mechanisms serve as protective barriers against the pain of his past, the maladaptive nature of some mechanisms also hinder his ability to form deep connections and fully engage with his emotions. recognizing the limitations of these strategies, he’s been seeking therapeutic support to explore and address the underlying trauma that shapes his behaviors:

medication management: to complement therapeutic approaches, remy's treatment plan includes a combination of medications to help manage his symptoms and enhance his overall well-being. a comprehensive evaluation by a psychiatrist helped identify specific medications that could address issues such as anxiety, mood instability, and emotional dysregulation. remy is on multiple prescriptions, such as sertraline to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression, and also assist in reducing the intense emotional swings he experiences; lamotrigine, a mood stabilizer that helps regulate his mood and reduce impulsivity, by mitigating the extreme highs and lows associated with bpd, fostering a more consistent emotional baseline; quetiapine, an atypical antipsychotic, prescribed to manage symptoms of emotional dysregulation and impulsivity; used primarily to treat adhd, ritalin can help remy manage symptoms related to focus and attention. as part of his gender-affirming treatment, remy monthly injects testosterone to support his transition, a crucial aspect of his treatment to improve his body image and self-esteem. remy also supplements his diet with omega-3 fatty acids, magnesium, vitamins b and d. 

therapeutic approaches: given remy’s complex mental health landscape, a multi-faceted therapeutic approach is crucial. under the guidance of his therapist, jericho drumm, he participates in emdr, somatic experiencing, and narrative therapy, which help him process trauma and explore his personal narrative.

emdr can help remy process and integrate traumatic memories, reducing their emotional charge and helping him develop healthier coping mechanisms. focusing on the body's sensations through somatic experiences helps him reconnect with his physical self and release trauma by encouraging him to process emotions through bodily awareness, which could be particularly beneficial given his history of detachment. narrative therapy may aid him in reframing his life story, helping him separate his identity from his trauma. by articulating his experiences, he may find new meanings and strengths, fostering a sense of agency and resilience. in addition, remy also takes part in group art therapy, allowing him to express himself creatively and connect with others who share similar struggles. this combination of therapies provides him with a holistic support system, fostering healing and personal growth as he navigates his emotional landscape.

supportive relationships: building a reliable support system is vital for remy’s recovery. encouraging open communication with trusted friends or mentors can help him navigate emotional complexities. group therapy or support groups designed for individuals with similar trauma backgrounds can provide community and validation, fostering connections that reinforce his healing journey.

self-care: establishing a consistent self-care routine is also crucial. this might include setting aside time for creative pursuits, such as cooking or painting, allowing him to express himself and unwind. encouraging him to explore his culinary interests through healthy meal preparation could help him build a more constructive relationship with food. engaging in regular physical activity that he enjoys serves as an additional outlet for stress relief.

[horizon-verizon]

https://www.tumblr.com/horizon-verizon/756487959478452224/condal-truly-said-that-he-sees-daemon-as-someone?source=share

Usually when a work of fiction, or any topic in general, is discussed, it's only expected for people to come up with theories of their own. The next step is to validate a theory by weighing them against valid sources and, in the case of fiction, the canon and then debate on its plausibility.

But when one has to outright disregard canon and alter several details about it in order to fit their interpretation, then it ceases to be a discussion related to that topic and goes into fanfiction territory. This is precisely what Condal is doing with the show and, specifically, for some reason, with Daemon.

Had Condal been a fanboy lurking on tumblr or in Reddit spaces and said stuff like Daemon teleported into the Vale to smash Rhea's head with a rock or that he arrived at the Riverlands after the Battle Of the Burning Mill and didn't do much during the war, he would either be ignored or downvoted or called out because the aforementioned events cannot be refuted even with the now misused excuse of F&B being an unreliable narration. They happened on specific dates, in a particular sequence and were witnessed by people. Daemon was present in the Stepstones at the time of Rhea's accident and Rhea being alive for nine days after that without mentioning any foul play rules out the possibility of an assassin. Regardless of what people personally thought of B&C within their closed doors, it did not affect Rhaenyra's position among her allies in canon or hindered their efforts to raise an army.

Unfortunately, Condal isn't just some biased fanboy harboring elaborate canon defying fantasies but the showrunner in charge of adapting F&B and its characters. And, there are several instances in which one can see his and Hess' bias permeating through the script, not just with Daemon but with other characters too. The characters on the show aren't the ones GRRM wrote but what C&H want them to be.

Though, with Daemon, it's amusing because they didn't even spare the smallest of details such as Daemon capturing Harrenhal and House Strong's 'not so inconsiderable wealth' which is expressly stated in the book and had to make a point to say twice on the show that Larys had the gold moved out and it is an empty castle.

One would think Condal feels personally aggrieved by this fictional characters. Hess does too, for different reasons. But in Condal's case,specifically, I just can't help but feel he is one of those disgruntled fans who dislike Daemon just because he sincerely supported Rhaenyra instead of opposing her just like how he probably begrudges Rhaenyra for not giving up her claim in Aegon's favour.

So, ultimately, it all boils down to Rhaenyra.

I do wonder how GRRM fumbled the bag once more with the showrunners. One would think he would be more cautious after what happened with D&D.

@deus-sema

And people wonder why people have called HotD not an adaptation but fanfiction? Hmmm....

And I agree that Ryan feels like one of those fans--who seem to be the very dim majority of "book" fans who just skim--who resents Daemon for being at her side and for her claim even if they won't admit to themselves; this has been a point people have said many times as and after S1 ended. Too lazy to pull up examples & posts I reblogged or made right now.

[scarlet--wiccan]

Hello! For a hypothetical Into The Scarlet-Witchverse which generations (classic,90s,etc) or versions (Earth 'insert here' or Cartoon Shows) would you want in your line up? Are there any fun or interesting interactions you would want to see between them?

It's shame that Wanda doesn't have more fun multiverse storylines under her belt, because she's uniquely well-suited to them. One of the main things we learned about Wanda's Nexus powers in Scarlet Witch (1995) is that Wanda has an innate connection to other Nexus beings throughout the multiverse, several of which are alternate versions of herself, like Lore. So, it should, theoretically, be pretty easy to get a bunch of Wandas in a room together.

I've said it before, but I think that understanding Wanda's Nexus powers is the key to understanding how her reality-altering abilities are supposed to work and properly contextualizing everything that happened with both her babies and the Decimation. I've written at length about it here and here. So I really want to refresh this subject for modern readers, and I think that throwing Wanda into something like The Variants or the roadtrip arc from Young Avengers (2013) would be a great way to do it.

I wouldn't want to do a multiversal-hub/peacekeeping-corps situation like Spider-Verse or Captain Britain-- for Wanda, the stakes of using her Nexus powers are usually more personal and close to home. It's more about how opening herself up to the expansiveness of her abilities makes her powerful, but also vulnerable, and the stories which relate to this usually involve Wanda being taken advantage of and having to reclaim her agency. In the past, most of those stories have been... problematic, to put it lightly. Revisiting it with fresh eyes and her contemporary treatment could be really rewarding.

This might literally be where Scarlet Witch (2024) is heading-- in this year's Women of Marvel, there was foreshadowing that Wanda would be "exploring the possibilities she holds," and her featured story was actually about Wanda getting support from one of her variants. We also know that Wanda will be encountering the Queen of Nevers and coming face-to-face with Lore again. Wanda's new enemy, the Griever, is a universal abstract that represents the final end of the multiverse-- maybe exploring her multiversal potential is how Wanda will defeat her.

What versions of Wanda would I want to see? Well, as I mentioned, she doesn't have that many interesting canon variants, but part of the charm of Spider-Verse is that it always generates a bunch of new, eclectic Spideys. Momiji and Weapon Hex are both great, and I think Wanda Strange from the Variants and Imperious Hex from Tarot could both be developed into fun What If characters. I really liked my Bride of Doom and Witch of Wundagore concepts from this post. I'm extremely fond of the Elizabethan fantasy world that Gillen invented for the Secret Wars version of 1602, and it would be cool to see Romani characters in that setting that are, like, authentic and not racist. I feel like you could do something inspired by The Tempest...

Also, Wanda's powers are very broad, so I think the key would be to give each Wanda a specific focus point or gimmick based on her universe. The Wolverine, Namor, and Strange fusions are obvious, and Momiji could focus on illusions and mental manipulation. The others, I'm less sure.

I don't personally care for any of Wanda's movie or TV versions-- I think most of them are very poor adaptations of the character. Obviously the M C U is the worst, but even the cartoons usually whitewash her. But if you change up the visual designs a little and give them a better backstory, some of them have potential--

United They Stand Wanda as Agatha's successor in a story that focuses more on historical covens, New Salem, etc.; drawing inspiration for her powers from the psuedo-pagan treatment she got in the 80s.

Iron Man Wanda in the Force Works costume as the version who's most focused on her probability powers, maybe play her as more of a tech specialist than the other Wandas.

WatXM Wanda as the main representation of Wanda-as-Magneto's-daughter, being the princess and heir of a mutant nation experiment (better than HoM, that's for sure!)

Evolution Wanda as a rebellious punk kid-- maybe with a new, matching design for Pietro? Just based on how the design was inspired by The Craft, it might be cool to play like a character who just stepped out of a horror movie.

[mirrorme-mirroryou]

SYSTOBER DAY 10: LESS FORMED ALTER

it may seem crazy what I’m about to say. But a lot of us are mostly fragments and have little to no sense of self whatsoever (including our main fronter/host, Kayden! Yes, even our main host is a fragment.)

but if I were to say who the least formed alter is, I’d say that it’s tied between Kokichi and Sahoko. Kokichi is fairly recent so he doesn’t have much of a self, but Sahoko is an entirely different story.

At the end of grade 8, which was by far the most traumatizing year of our life (if we could even remember other years of our life that are suspiciously missing) Sahoko formed and they are a factive of our best friend, whom I’ll call C for the sake of privacy.

C was literally one of the only people IRL who were genuinely there for me(other than our therapist) when all the shit happened, and I’m guessing our brain loved them so much that the moment we got too stressed, brain decided “oh, let’s fuel our identity crisis and make you wonder whether C is real because congratulations, you’re C now!”

C doesn’t know about Sahoko, but Sahoko knows about C and their issues with a certain “friend” who literally stole their identity down to the way they act. They did not want to use C’s name for that reason, even though they did initially have an attachment to it. So they used the name of a manga character that C really related to.

but beyond their name, pronouns, species and gender, Sahoko doesn’t know anything about themselves. Even Kokichi has a slightly more fleshed out identity.

I myself am not too fleshed out either, so take my words with a grain of salt.

-Mauve

[communist-manifesto-daily]

The Communist Manifesto - Part 11

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All objections urged against the Communistic mode of producing and appropriating material products, have, in the same way, been urged against the Communistic mode of producing and appropriating intellectual products. Just as, to the bourgeois, the disappearance of class property is the disappearance of production itself, so the disappearance of class culture is to him identical with the disappearance of all culture.

That culture, the loss of which he laments, is, for the enormous majority, a mere training to act as a machine.

But don’t wrangle with us so long as you apply, to our intended abolition of bourgeois property, the standard of your bourgeois notions of freedom, culture, law, &c. Your very ideas are but the outgrowth of the conditions of your bourgeois production and bourgeois property, just as your jurisprudence is but the will of your class made into a law for all, a will whose essential character and direction are determined by the economical conditions of existence of your class.

The selfish misconception that induces you to transform into eternal laws of nature and of reason, the social forms springing from your present mode of production and form of property – historical relations that rise and disappear in the progress of production – this misconception you share with every ruling class that has preceded you. What you see clearly in the case of ancient property, what you admit in the case of feudal property, you are of course forbidden to admit in the case of your own bourgeois form of property.

Abolition [Aufhebung] of the family! Even the most radical flare up at this infamous proposal of the Communists.

On what foundation is the present family, the bourgeois family, based? On capital, on private gain. In its completely developed form, this family exists only among the bourgeoisie. But this state of things finds its complement in the practical absence of the family among the proletarians, and in public prostitution.

The bourgeois family will vanish as a matter of course when its complement vanishes, and both will vanish with the vanishing of capital.

Do you charge us with wanting to stop the exploitation of children by their parents? To this crime we plead guilty.

But, you say, we destroy the most hallowed of relations, when we replace home education by social.

And your education! Is not that also social, and determined by the social conditions under which you educate, by the intervention direct or indirect, of society, by means of schools, &c.? The Communists have not invented the intervention of society in education; they do but seek to alter the character of that intervention, and to rescue education from the influence of the ruling class.

The bourgeois clap-trap about the family and education, about the hallowed co-relation of parents and child, becomes all the more disgusting, the more, by the action of Modern Industry, all the family ties among the proletarians are torn asunder, and their children transformed into simple articles of commerce and instruments of labour.

But you Communists would introduce community of women, screams the bourgeoisie in chorus. The bourgeois sees his wife a mere instrument of production. He hears that the instruments of production are to be exploited in common, and, naturally, can come to no other conclusion that the lot of being common to all will likewise fall to the women.

He has not even a suspicion that the real point aimed at is to do away with the status of women as mere instruments of production.

For the rest, nothing is more ridiculous than the virtuous indignation of our bourgeois at the community of women which, they pretend, is to be openly and officially established by the Communists. The Communists have no need to introduce community of women; it has existed almost from time immemorial.

Our bourgeois, not content with having wives and daughters of their proletarians at their disposal, not to speak of common prostitutes, take the greatest pleasure in seducing each other’s wives.

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