#character analyzation

[acourtofquestions]

I keep on thinking about the “You left me” scene…

As painful as it is (and NOT one of Rowan & Aelin’s finer or healthiest moments; probably one of if not my LEAST favorite for them) there is something so guttural, telling, & crucial beneath the surface. … Especially the more I analyze many aspects of this VERY layered scene…

So, let’s break it down:

Now this may be my own abandonment issues talking😅but as someone that knows I see this argument (as drastically different as they sound) as two sides of the same coin (as Rowaelin often/always is) both sides rooted in abandonment issues & a consequential fear of love/the loss of it; hence ending up in one of two responses (even in a situation as seemingly ‘simple’ as this; triggering) either: clinging to someone with everything you have, begging, fighting, desperately trying to stop it from happening again. Or being the one to leave so you are not the one left saying “I didn’t care anyway” so you don’t have to feel like you lost anything to begin with.

… Sound familiar? It’s what’s happening here.

Unfortunately, this is one of the moments where these two are too much alike; it’s triggering them both (two people who can go from 0-180 & when it comes to flight or fight triggers are very prone to fight) they are arguing with themselves & their own fear/self-loathing more than each-other (thus hitting exactly where it hurts; because they are hurting themselves; for Rowan it’s punishment through self-sabotage, for Aelin it’s proving she’s unworthy of anyone’s care even someone who could be cruel to her) while also simultaneously using it as a form of ‘self-protection’ (they are trying not to care (further mad at themselves for already caring) & terrified for the other because every person they love has left; loving them feels like a death sentence & they have to protect the other by making themselves unlovable; before they get hurt again).

For Aelin, it’s a last resort; fear is a crucial part of her mindset, (upbringing), & survival. She lives in fight or flight, fawn or freeze, (leaning towards the natural inclination of the first latters) this is her fighting, desperately clawing (like a wounded animal), & on her last leg; because if he cannot choose her, cannot stay, will not; if as she describes, “She didn't know why it happened, because she had been so dead set on hating him, but... it would have been nice, she supposed. It would have been nice to have one person who knew the absolute truth about her--and didn't hate her for it. It would have been really, really nice.” If he who knows her unlike anyone ever has or could (from best to worst) has seen it all and found nothing there worthwhile then how can she possibly argue that with herself/anyone? Right then, you see how little she cares for herself (how she stays even when it’s hurting her because she doesn’t know anything else (how would she?) & because she believes every word of it (he doesn’t realize until later just how much she meant every word; because he didn’t, not fully at least, not in the same way she did). She feels that she has “nowhere else to go” because as she said “I have no one left. No one.”) you see how desperate she is for an end to the same trapping heartbreak that keeps repeating again & again. & If she loses him than there is truly nothing left. She is drowning, and this is all of it catching up to her at once — she’s screaming at him as much as everyone she’s ever lost — she’s pleading with Sam to let her look out for him, screaming at Chaol to let her in to trust her (& be worthy of his trust) so she could’ve saved Nehemia; an extremely raw wound (as shown in the broken echoing words she finally gives voice to in the next chapter), screaming at Nehemia for choosing to leave her, at Arobynn for betraying her (even if she can’t admit it yet, unleashing one begins unleashing them all) screaming at the very universe itself (the world that already broke every ‘natural’ promise; stolen all the ones she wasn’t ‘supposed’ to lose) screaming for her parents, her Aedion, her kingdom, herself. — At herself for not being able to save them, to stop it, to be fast enough- -to be enough. And begging for it, for anyone- -anything not to take this too because this is a final breaking for her.

& For Rowan, this feels like a loaded gun. It's his connection to her (despite his trying & denying it; he realizes it had already become a relationship & not just to him but to her) it’s him screaming “You are nothing to me, and I do not care.” to try and make it true because after centuries of not caring about anything or anyone (of feeling only ice), of not having anyone care (or need him for that matter; he’s realizing for better or worse she does)… Here it is (someone who cares & someone who needs him; someone who he cannot turn away because she can bear all of his ice & still understand him; he hates her for it, he hates himself for it “There is nothing that I can give to you. Nothing I want to give to you.”)… Here she is… Begging him to stay (just like Lyria), wanting him to stay (something he does not feel he deserves — “Aelin, you deserve better than this-than me.” — & is trying to prove to her as protection & punishment; to be the monster), caring enough about him to want him to stay in the first place (something he truly thinks they are better off without; he's reminding himself as much as warning her when he says, “The people you love are just weapons that will be used against you”— another key word will —he believes it all is already inevitably doomed. So, while she is desperately giving a last try, he has already given up on trying.) He is a wild animal trapped into a corner; if she cares—if he cares; because it will end (she will leave; because she is capable & will learn & be back on her way, gone again while he will still be stuck with Maeve the same as before (he twists it to sound different but the meaning is the same when he says, “the sooner I can be rid of you”.); or worse she may very well get herself killed (the way she’s going) the way he knows why, (why do you think he spends so much time trying to get her to fight for her own life?- -To scare her, provoke her, anger her- -anything to shake her from her stupor… he says as much later on “You're learning.” “You get baited by me every now and then, too, you know.” He gave her a look that said, I let you bait me, in case you haven't noticed."… anything to make her make it out alive) & he has not helped that either because he can’t help himself. So, either way, he feels stuck in the same mistake again & again; is he failing her the same as he did Lyria? Is he failing Lyria by repeating it (worse; is he betraying Lyria in the fact he may care for someone else?) — if he is, how does he survive that?). … He has been trying to tell himself 'she's just another soldier', yet, here he is again raw with Gavriel tattooing even more names of grief (because 'just a soldier' doesn't make it hurt less). & She is not just another soldier; he (an ‘all-knowing-immortal’) was wrong; he is missing something about her (this “girl” doesn’t add up; this fight doesn’t add up) & He is feeling the weight of every mistake; even as he makes another one; to hurt her now thinking; it’s better than getting her killed, (it’s better than him caring & losing her) It’s what he ‘deserves’ (he hates himself for it, even as he breaks her heart; it’s why he says, “and for a heartbeat he hoped she’d left, if only so he didn’t have to face what he’d said yesterday.” because he knew he was wrong & he hated himself for it; he does it to punish himself as much as to protect himself & her). It's his last attempt at pushing her away (and ultimately the one that makes him realize he cannot).

It's not an excuse, but it is a reason. One that makes sense the more I read, re-read, & continue the series. This fight is in some ways their first real fight; because they are both vulnerable because this is more than a biting surface (because they have always been more than that). And it forces them to realize & reconcile; to go to their true worst until there is nothing left but to piece together something else.

For two people so fearful & without option they needed to hit the rock bottom together; to have no doubt that they were chosen at their true worst; to learn almost losing the other did not leave them better off; & know that they cannot turn away, & will not because if it would have happened, it would have been then (& there is no more point in being afraid anymore; it is too late to take back what’s been forged; “Something molten rushed through her, pouring over every crack and fracture still left gaping and open. Not to hurt or mar--but to weld.”)… Without it Rowan would never have checked himself, he would have trained her on nothing more than begrudging orders of Maeve, & he would never have cared to ask or learn more… She would have either bet everything on him & thrown herself into another relationship to outrun everything else, & end up broken again because she cannot learn to sit with (nor accept) herself. She was forced to pick life or endless nothing, to stop freezing or fawning or running, to care & fight for it; & find something more worth fighting for (to accept her anger & also learn to be more than just angry) To let it out & let go; to stop drowning on the words that have been suffocating her for months; to stop being afraid to say them. … And while they cannot quite say all those words; I’m sorry, I care about you… They can know they won’t say the other again… They are not expected to be more than they can give. There is finally an understanding (the start of a friendship… & maybe ‘more than’ friends) because they stop running from it & instead run in headfirst. … Through the most dividing thing they are finally not alone. The final stand stands. There is no more fight against each-other. It cannot get worse, they can survive it, and now they are really what they are.

[its-vamber]

Do you think that asagiri will leave questions unanswered about dazai or tell us by the end of the manga? It will leave things really interesting if we never know the holes in his character but it could also be not fulfilling.

[aurae-rori]

my roman empire is the fact that dr. ratio couldn't get into the genius society because of how much he cares for others. my roman empire is the fact that the way that he loves and has too much empathy will be his own downfall. my roman empire is the fact that he spent so long thinking that he was enough only to be hit with the reality that the world and life is cruel and his heart is too soft for the universe he was born into.

my roman empire is that dr. ratio cares. he cares so damn much. he loved too much that it held him back from his ultimate goal.

dr. ratio they could never make me hate you.

[cutter-kirby]

obligatory “cool characterization, still murder” like I’m not excusing him but it does make him incredibly interesting

(*girl gender neutral edition)

[dsmp-lainey]

unfortunately spoke to a c!dream apologist so this is how i’m recovering from that interaction

[pillowscience21]

I wanna talk about Vi pulling Cait by the back of the neck here. Not only is it really hot I feel like it has a lot of meaning...

Caitlyn has spent half of season 2 with her neck being a target. She is choked out by the shimmer monster at the memorial.

Sevika chokes her...

Sevika chokes her TWICE while fighting in the tunnels... I imagine after this she has a lot of trauma around her neck being a vulnerability...

She pulls away when Maddie goes for her neck when they are in bed.

She covers her neck completely with the collar of her coat

Covering her neck with her clothing, and her neck thingy(idk what it is called) to display her rank. A symbol of her status and strength in a place that she feels she is vulnerable...

Ambessa's lieutenant chokes her when she is trying to help Vander, he chokes her enough for her eyes to turn read and for her to pass out, she almost died here if Jinx hadn't stopped him... another peace of trauma added to the pile.

She wears a turtleneck after that, perhaps symbolizing the trauma from those previous experiences, an attempt at sheltering herself from pain that area of her body has been subjected to.

Yet she allows Vi to pull her in from the back of her neck.

She allows herself to feel pleasure in Vi's touch there...

She tilts her head so Vi can have more access to the part of her body that makes her feel most vulnerable. Allowing Vi to kiss her there... to trail her fingers down her throat.

She even allows Vi to grab her by it as they are kissing. From anyone else this action would invoke a trauma response but again, she allows herself to take pleasure in it.

Caitlyn allows Vi to touch her most vulnerable parts, she allows herself to feel it as a source of pleasure instead of pain. I think its an incredible beautiful detail...giving yourself to someone you trust fully.

Then when Maddie aims at Caitlyn's neck, its like a huge fuck you to all of the growth Cait has allowed herself. A place on her body that has shown weakness, pain and trauma that she has allowed herself to heal with Vi's hands. Maddie tries to take that away.

Then she still is wearing the turtleneck at the end, symbolizing the trauma she bears. Still vulnerable, to what may come next. But she has Vi by her side to soothe those worries, because she knows they can overcome anything together. I think that is beautiful.

[porkymcsly]

More Maul studies! Slowly but surely I’m dialing him in. I’m trying to work towards more expressiveness. his proportions are really tricky, but I really enjoy the gaunt look of Rebles Maul. Experimenting with different ways to draw the eyes…just playing as usual. Just love him a lot.

[linkcharacter]

thanks for being one of the few mouthwashing artists who is like.. normal about jimmy, is the only way i can describe it. for treating his character just as seriously as all the other tulpar members, not being afraid to analyze/explore his character and relationships with the others; for not outright refusing to draw him etc. i feel like a lot of people think that including him in fanart/analysis is equal to excusing his actions and it really sucks to see that, so it's always refreshing to see someone give him as much thought and appreciation as any other well written character.

Thank you, but it makes me wonder how cooked this fandom is, if I'm getting praise for treating the central protagonist and main character of the story as just A Character In The Story. And he isn't even my favorite. I understand the aversion to Jimmy obviously, but a lot of people act so immature about him.

[pinep-ne]

If one more person misconstrues Arthur's journal entry about how he should have married Abigail as genuine romantic attraction I will actually lose it. OBVIOUSLY IT WAS TO SUPPORT HER AND JACK AND FILL THE ROLE JOHN RAN FROM!!! Marriage for the sake of convenience and support is nothing new folks. It was not lust nor love. I personally don't even think Arthur had anything with Abigail at any point. They were just two troubled souls that had leant on each other in a desperate situation. Y'all are stirring a hollow pot talking about how John would've felt reading that entry. He probably didn't even give a damn because he knew well Arthur's insistence on giving Abby and her boy at least some semblance of stability.

​

[risetherivermoon]

i dont really like it when people dumb down Curly's characterization to just the guy enabling Jimmy. I get that that makes it easier to not like him, so that's why a lot of people do that, because they feel guilty about sympathizing with someone who's done smth fucked up like that, but i really don't think it's giving Curly the justice he deserves.

regardless of if you like him as a person or not, Curly is still a victim and he suffered greatly at Jimmy's hand. Just because he did something fucked up doesn't make him a 'monster' (sorry because i saw someone say that he looks like a monster post-crash and thats sticking with me because why TF are we saying disabled burn victims look like LITERAL MONSTERS- yall use some common sense I BEG)

Dumbing down characters is what fandom does best, but i think it particularly irks me in Mouthwashing because of the nature of the story. Jimmy already thinks of the rest of the crew poorly and doesn't see them for how they really are, we don't need to be doing that too.

I also feel like people don't really recognize the fact Jimmy manipulates and abuses Curly too, even before the crash. What Curly did was fucked up but for the love, don't dumb him down to just this one thing he did.

[bread-that-draws]

Flowey’s so funny and has me so fucked up like he’s a talking flower. He tries to kill you upon your first interaction. He is ten years old. He is damaged beyond repair. He’s a flower named Flowey. He’s become friends with every single character. He’s killed all of them countless times. He knows everything about everyone. He doesn’t care anymore. He takes care of his mom when she can’t take care of herself. He’s killed her before. He doesn’t care if you kill her. He thinks she’s trying to replace him. He just wants to be himself again. He wants to destroy everything. He hates you. You’re the only one who understands him. He wants his best friend back. He’s terrified of them. He believes in kill or be killed because he died by giving mercy to the wrong person. He believes himself to be the wrong person. He doesn’t understand when you show him that kindness he showed others, even when you know he could kill you for it. He’s tried every route. He asks you if you have anything better to do when you try to do the same. He’s a direct reflection of the player. He’s a fucking talking flower named flowey and his only voice line is by Ronald McDonald and his officially licensed plush does a little dance for you

[detectiveposting]

my stages of watching columbo

1: hahah hes just a silly detective ;)

2: columbo is actually a cunning manipulative liar that hides his true persona behind the facade of a slow and clumsy middle class detective

3: hahah hes just a silly detective ;)

[briefhottubcoffee]

I was flipping through the manga today. Check out Twilight’s very consistent little sigh and smile he has whenever he is proud or fond of his family members:

Anya:

Yor:

Bond:

Bond got two smiles in just one chapter! Which I think is interesting, because Twilight is most “himself” with Bond because, well, Bond is a dog and there is no need to hide anything.

A theory I’ve heard, and very much agree with is… at this point in the manga, Twilight is trying to distance himself from his family. This is because of what happened with Wheeler and Yuri. He’s struggling with his emotions because he thinks they are a weakness, and, deep down, he doesn’t believe he is allowed to be feeling any affection for his fake family. He’s been a little colder, to Anya specifically.

Nevertheless, he had a small version of his proud/fond smile for Anya recently, bro can’t help himself:

I hesitate to include this one, because it’s right after his fight with Wheeler and Yuri, my man is going through some stuff, and I’m not sure how genuine this smile is. But I still think it’s important. Directed at Yor:

So yeah, I think these are the most authentic smiles of the man underneath all the fake personas and acting. And it’s a smile full of genuine affection and care, directed at only three individuals in the entire series. He doesn’t smile like this for anyone else, ever. There are a bunch of other smiles he gives his family that I think are still very much real, but these little ones are my favorite. I think Endo is drawing these little smiles throughout the series on purpose, it’s not hard to imagine why.

[waitineedaname]

feeling insane about the deep dream extra again. I like to make jokes about shen qingqiu seeing binghe hugging his corpse and deciding to fuck that man to qi deviation, but when I think about the emotions communicated in that moment it's so much more. shen qingqiu just got insight into a moment he wasn't around for, when binghe was grieving him so terribly, when binghe still didn't have answers for sqq's actions, when he kept reenacting a moment of nonsexual physical intimacy that left such a profound effect on his psyche

and shen qingqiu obviously can't change what happened in the past, but what he can do upon waking up is kiss binghe, press his hand to his beating heart, affirm (out loud!! a big deal for shen qingqiu!!!) that he wants him -- communicating with his actions that "I was gone then, but I'm here now, I'm alive, I won't be leaving, I love you and want you even when it hurts"

[mellosdrawings]

Alrighty, let's tackle the second part of this request!

Here's a tuto on how to draw the nightmare that is Azul's hair!

First, a few observations.

Contrary to other characters like Jamil, Riddle, or Sebek, Azul's hair doesn't immediately tell you everything about his personality. For someone as calculating and (trying to be) mature as Azul, you'd expect his hair to be slick and and each strand to be at it's proper place.

It's the contrary here. Azul has wavy, almost curly hair that is completely all over the place.

It's because that's his own struggle that is shown here. Azul has always fought against himself, being his octopus nature, his weight, or even his hair that won't stick down. That boy is just cursed to forever have something about himself that doesn't fit his aesthetic.

(Personally whenever I look at Azul upside down, I really feel like it'd be the kind of hair for a cool extroverted guy in an Idol gacha game)

Step 1. Hairline

Azul has a simple round hairline so simply draw an arch.

Step 2. Hair root

Azul's hair all comes from a point right above the left side of his left iris, so I would suggest you draw Azul's face (and even glasses) first.

Step 3. Bangs

Azul has two strands that fall between his eyes, just a bit to the right. Start from the root point you placed earlier, and draw two wavy lines intersecting. The first will stop at the upper rim of his glasses, above his right iris area. The second will stop at the lower rim of his glasses, below his right iris area.

All of Azul's hair will be made with soft waves that fork back up, so train yourself to do that move flowingly. You're not done using it.

Step 4. Front hair 1

There are two strands that seem closer to us and frame the other bangs, so let's draw them first. In my example I drew the lower strand a bit too high, it should come right above Azul's right eye. The upper one thought will almost be horizontal. Both of those will reach the area above the right ear.

Once more, waves.

Step 5. Front hair 2

Now the two strands between the last two. They will go further than the ear.

Step 6. Side strand

Azul's tentacle-like strand. It is composed by the only strand of hair that forks towards his face, instead of outward. It goes around the eye and reaches lower than the middle strand.

The second part is the actual tentacle. It hides the ear entirely and reaches down to Azul's chin level.

Still, always a wave that forks outward.

Step 7. Ahoge

Yup. "Mature" and calculating Azul has an ahoge. That might be the only part of his hair that does indeed reflect his personality. Azul can be quite immature and stupid at times. (For those who don't know, "ahoge" literally means "stupid hair" and it's usually used on stupid or immature characters)

Simply make it start at the root point. It's about the size of Azul's hairline to eyes, but globally just make it go up above where the rest of his hair would go.

Step 8. Right side

That is the part that people (even Yana if we trust the notes she made) struggle with. There is a volume here that can't be too fluffy or not big enough. It's actually just the size of half his face. Put your mark and do your best to fill it without going further.

From there, draw about 4 or 5 waves. Connecting each tip should make an arch, with the further point being the strands at Azul's eye level.

Step 9. Behind the ear

The only part of Azul's hair that is well groomed is those few strands of hair, that look like they were pushed behind his ear. This is also the only part (alongside the ahoge) that isn't made using a wave.

Step 10. Left side

And we're back to drawing waves, this time forking left. There is about 3 waves to do. These strands won't be as fluffy as the right side, sticking closer to the skull, but still add some volume. Wavy/curly hair just can't stick to the skull (I'd know it *sigh*)

Step 11. Details

Time to check your proportions, add a few lines within the strands, add more lines at the roots to show that his hair go from here.

Finished!

So. Idol!Azul when? (One day. One day I'll do that Housewarden Idol AU)

(Last note: he does have an undercut. I'll forever go crazy about Azul of all people having a fuckboi (/affectionate) haircut)

(Official pic from the Magical Archives)