#chapter 0
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"THE OTHER HAPPY PLACE ART BOOK: CHATER 0" The book is UP for order NOW!
over 50 pages! full color! story bits and lore!
HERE'S THE LINK https://zoop.gg/c/theotherhappyplacechapter0
orders made today and tomorrow get a discounted price!!
i'm REALLY proud of this book.
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There are so many things in my mind right now and i wanto to start by sayin
People I'm losing my mind (once again )
So you Know how chapter 0 was announced, and it would be like a a 4 pages long about Shinichi before the date in tropical land
Well! Apparently, (i read in some places but im not sure how true it is)he went there by himself to scout the place and saw KAITO AND AOKO! And not only did he thought it would be nice to do the same with ran
I looks like HE IMAGINED THEMSELVES IN THE SAME SITUATIONS
so KaiAo are so close that Shinichi thought they were a couple???!!!!
I'm dying
Also it looks like Furuya would be there too like watching were the illegal transaction would be taking place.
For me this oppens some questions, if he was there observing, did he see the whole Shinichi to Conan transformation? Wasn’t he around when the org tried to kill him?
This 0 chapter is going to make my week!
I love it already!!!!!
That's it! Thanks for reading my descent to madness again 😅❤️
#dcmk#magic kaito#kuroba kaito#aoko nakamori#nakamori aoko#case closed#detco#kaito kid#kaiao#kaitou kid#shinran#detective conan#chapter 0
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DOCORONPA R
CHAPTER ZERO
(1/3)
Drummer awoke, her eyes slowly focusing in on the decaying wooden planks suspended just above her face.
Turning to her left, a scream nearly escaped her at the sight of a muscular stranger sitting up in the bottom bunk accross from her. The stranger, meeting her eyes and lurching forward, held a finger to her mouth.
Drummer began to take in the features of this girl: tall, robustly muscular, orange hair spilling over her face. The girl leaned forward toward Drummer, whispering to stay quiet. She was seemingly vibrating with excitement.
The girl silently pointed a finger just above Drummer, guiding her attention to the bunk above hers.
As the girl whispered, Drummers eyes began to drift around the room. Her eyes quickly locked onto the camera mounted on the wall just behind the other girl. Her eyes darting across the room, she spotted several more dotting the walls.
Panic setting in, drummer sprang out of bed with a visceral shriek, frantically interrogating the strange girl where they were.
The girl instantly shot up to meet her, wrapping both arms around Drummer and masking her mouth. Drummer tried to wrestle out, and continued her now muffled screaming, but they were soon interrupted.
As the girls struggled, a third voice murmered from above.
Spinning around and looking up to the bunk above, they were met with a cautious stare from a beautiful set of baby pink eyes. Deep red braids framing her perfect face, she cautiously spoke, asking the girls who they were.
Drummer, mouth still covered, was too stunned to answer. The muscular girl, dropping Drummer to the floor, emphatically introduced herself as the Ultimate Personal Trainer. She manically extended a hand to the top bunk, eyes gleaming with admiration for the new girl.
Ignoring PT's attempt at a handshake, the girl looked down to drummer. Drummer, flushed from the situation, quietly introduced herself from the floor.
Before the new girl could introduce herself, PT exclaimed that she knew exactly who she was, the Ultimate Social Media Star.
Clearly being a massive fan, PT was thrashing with excitement. She barrated Social Media with questions and compliments, blocking all of Drummer's occasional attempts to chime in.
Drummer, giving up on socializing, began to analyze the room while the other two chatted.
She silently noted the lack of windows, the empty bunkbed above PT, the monitor in the corner, and most importantly, the many, many cameras dotted around the cabin.
Social Media, growing tired of the incessant praise, eventually found her eyes wandering to the cameras as well, immediately cutting her dialogue with PT short.
After Social media pointed out they were under survaillence, PT's attention was finally turned onto their situation as well.
With all 3 girls now in panic, they cautiously agreed that they would test the front door together. Unsure of what would be on the otherside, they approached the cabin door at a snails pace.
PT led the way as the three made their way out onto the front porch of the cabin.
Towering pines surrounded the girls on all sides, cameras darted along their trunks. Looking to their right, three other cabins followed parallel a wide trail curving through the forest, branching off into several smaller paths. The girls stood in silence, each taking in the foreign enviroment.
Suddenly, Social Star jumped, pointing out a lone girl sitting on the stairs of the furthest cabin, who had gone completely unnoticed by the other two.
She suggested that they go greet the stranger and possibly inquire about their situation, but Drummer disagreed. She insisted that the three stay at the cabin and wait for help.
After facing minor pressure from the other girls, Drummer caved, joining them in their trek to meet the strange girl.
As they approached the cabin, the girl sat straight up, wide brown eyes veiled behind large round lenses staring in fear.
Nervously gripping the ribbons in her hair, she shifted around on the steps, clearly very uncomfortable with the girls approaching. Nonetheless, as they approached, she shakely introduced herself as the Ultimate Marine Biologist.
After brief introductions, Drummer questioned Marine Biologist if there was anybody else in her cabin. Marine biologist cautiously explained that when she woke up there was one girl with her, and that the other two beds were empty when she awoke.
The other girl had apparently set off without her while Marine Biologist waited for others in the cabin. She had seen nobody else since then.
As the group hesitantly discussed their situation, a smooth, deep voice called out to them from much further down the trail.
The girls span, their eyes falling on a tall, slim man with long blonde hair, waving to them from a distance.
He approached the group through a clearing in the brush, his laid-back swagger already had Drummer uneasy. His laid back attitude continued as he introduced himself to the group as the Ultimate Salesman.
He explained to them that a small group had already made their way further down the trail and gathered at a nearby lake.
While Social Media and PT were thrilled by the prospect of other people, Drummer and Marine Biologist were not nearly as trusting of this mysterious stranger.
Casually explaining that he had come back to check the cabins for others, his cold eyes met Drummers, sending a chill down her spine.
Salesman quickly picked up on Drummers feelings toward him, calling her out on being so quiet through a smirk.
Drummer, not seeking a confrontation, exused her silence as nerves.
Caving once again to the pressures of the group, Drummer agreed to set off further down the trail to meet the others.
TO BE CONTINUED...
#danganronpa#dangan ronpa#oc#dangansona#fangan ronpa#fanganronpa#docoronpa#docoronpa r#my art#chapter 0
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Dungeon food! Having ravenously devoured both the anime and manga, I felt like re-reading the manga and giving some thoughts. (And posting funny pictures.) Spoilers ahoy!
Chapter 0
So, chapter 0 is a pilot of sorts. Maybe there's a proper term for it, but I am not exactly a manga expert. It does a pretty good job of setting the tone, even if still rough around the edges.
Most of the character designs are already done, but Senshi looks particularly rough in this whole thing. Not that it really matters. Chilchuck is the only one even mentioned by name. Izutsumi is the focus character here, even if no one is polite enough to mention her name.
Laios would never. I don't remember the party having this much chutzpah in canon.
Oh, sure, NOW you're interested. Please stop staring at me like that.
What makes you think they were sane to begin with?
Behold, a dark twisted universe where they actually ate the fish-man.
Man, where was Izutsumi when we needed her? She'd have been great against the dragon.
Anyway, that was chapter 0. Short but sweet, gives a good overview of the vibe, especially early on. Can't wait to start reading the manga proper to see more adventures with this sassy cat-girl.
What do you mean she doesn't appear in the manga proper until chapter 42?
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I don't wanna be that annoying bish and I'm really entitled for saying this but like what was the point of making a comic of what happened in the past as a flashback, just dragging out all the details as much as possible, not exactly touching up on their present dating status because let's face it whatever he did or not do to plan the date back when they were friends some billion 6 months ago, it doesn't change anything really. Maybe I'm not a romantic as I was in highschool being satisfied with flashback crumbs
When I would be more hyped with a date in the present because they're actually a couple now
Just feels like a waste of opportunity. But then I'm not a middle aged man who's trying to milk his manga as much as possible. Maybe I don't understand the importance
What next? Another comic next year, of Ran shopping for her outfit before their tropical land date?lol
I knew I wasn't gonna be impressed as soon as i heard it was going to be another added detail of their flashback. Boring...
#it's disappointing and a waste of time bye my opinion doesn't matter tho it's just a drop in the sea of the fandom#shinran#chapter 0#detective conan#kudo shinichi#ran mouri#gosho aoyama
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Yasopp and Usopp
youtube
This clip from Strong World: Episode 0 gets me each and every time.
Why?
Because I think of the fact that Yasopp eventually did leave Usopp and Banchina because of his dream, and it’s so amazing how much Usopp resembles Yasopp here (minus the nose). Like, seriously. Yasopp’s hairstyle is so retro but still has that Usopp pre-timeskip vibe. In the manga Usopp sits on the cliff/hill and sees the Romance Dawn trio approaching Syrup Village (Chapter 23? I think?).
Yasopp is sitting on that same-ish(?) hill.
Shanks is wearing that same d*mn straw hat.
It makes me wish we could get a movie or special of the Red-hair Pirates’ early days, and see how much alike Yasopp and Usopp truly are. Because c’mon, I can’t believe Yasopp didn’t at least have a few hiccups along the way. The old geezer can barely face his son right now. Shaky knees and all. Might get island diseases too.
Although this is irrelevant…Usopp and Yasopp are both fire signs (Leo and Aries). They both love fish of the season. They are both great sharpshooters/snipers. They both have observation haki (yes, Yasopp’s is advanced but still…)…and more we have yet to see.
Also, what’s another thing worth noting is that no matter how selfish Usopp may come off (although he isn’t selfish at all), I can most certainly say that it speaks volumes that when the RD trio was approaching, Usopp had his pirate trio with him. Meaning that, maybe this represents that Yasopp is selfish in his journey, but Usopp isn’t. He’s able to connect with the others in the way his father isn’t.
When Shanks approached Yasopp, Yasopp was alone. Meaning again, that not only is Usopp not a selfish guy, but he is definitely a true leader. His dad doesn’t necessarily lead (I don’t see it in him—even at commander status and what he did in RED); at least in the sense of what I’m thinking. There’s something better with Usopp than what his dad ever had going for himself.
Leave it to shonen manga fans to define (in a half-baked way) what true masculinity and superiority looks like…whatever.
related links:
one
#I really like this clip#it’s kinda like a parallel to Usopp’s intro#Youtube#yasopp#chaser#abandonment issues#daddy issues#red haired shanks#shanks#red hair#red haired pirates#one piece#chapter 0#strong world#episode 0#strong world episode 0#observation haki#Banchina#Usopp#op usopp#one piece usopp#sniper king usopp#god usopp#usopp one piece#straw hat usopp#sniper king#captain usopp#usopp op#wesleysniperking#syrup village
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Vash the Stampede // chapter 0, High Noon at July
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shout out to Adashiro Kou (from the pilot) for being the ultimate fail boy
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jibaku shounen hanako kun#chapter 0#there is way more too#like WAY more#this poor boy get no W in the 3 chaps#pls help him#kou adashino#jshk#tumblr i love you pls show it in the tags
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< Previous | Next >
It's Ratau! Oh, Lamb's not so sure about him. 🤔
I have a new background artist! @lunity-moonity She did great! Go follow her!!
Come join the discord! Also please consider joining my Patreon or dropping a tip at my Ko-Fi! Thank you!!
Mirrors: Twitter | e621 | FA | dA
#cotl#cult of the lamb#in spite of you#isoy#chapter 0#page 9#comic#fancomic#cotl fancomic#cotl comic#lamb#the lamb#ratau#cotl ratau#cotl lamb#cotl the lamb#blood#cultist
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BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'm launching the campaign to fund the Issue #0 Art Book for The Other Happy Place on Zoop next month!!
Can you all please sign up here for notifications so you know when we launch? (I'M REALLY EXCITED)
(PS you don't gotta put in payment or anything right now it's literally like "YOU'LL GET A MESSAGE SO YOU DON'T MISS IT" )
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Introspection
Chapter 0 : Prologue
When do you know it's going too far?
TW : Implied/references of drug use, heavy read, explicit language used
Based in a Modern/Realistic AU, depression/mental health focused storyline.
"Hey Jellal, we were thinking about hitting up that new club that opened up downtown, wanted to ask if you'd come along agai-"
He sighed.
Delete
"Yo bro! There's a sick rave we've all been invited to an-"
He swiped.
Delete
"You know we got some more of that shit and was thinking if you'd-"
He paused to take a pull.
Delete
His vision hazed as he watched the numbers of his inbox. They had accumulated again, just like before. And just like before, the numbers had grown higher.
They always were when he finally got the courage to face them.
How long had it been this time that he hadn't listened to them? A few weeks? No. More than that. A few months then? What was it? Time had become so irrelevant to him nowadays that he could not tell.
But it's not like he wanted to know how long he had been running away either.
Briefly closing his eyes, he lifted the roll up to his lips again. He dragged it on longer this time, feeling his thoughts go blank for a period. The relief it gave him made him unwilling to move from such a state until he had to be released.
Exhaling the built up smoke above him, he felt the remnants burn his eyes a bit. Making it blurrier than it already was. Darker than it already was too.
The sight in front of him was as if it reflected the state of his mind in those few seconds.
Murky.
Vague.
Invasive.
Impermanent.
Until it all dispersed.
And he'd have to take another pull again.
Looking down at the lit screen of his phone, he selected the next message he would listen to. Hoping that reducing those numbers he saw piling up in his inbox would help clear some of his conscience.
But the next one didn't let him relieve himself like that.
"...Jelly?"
It was her again.
"..How are you?"
The woman he didn't want to hear of.
"I tried to call you a few times today but you were busy again."
Because each time he did, she brought it back to him.
"It's okay though, boys your age have a lot going on in their life."
His mistakes.
"You have so many friends now too, and I don't want to keep you from having a good time with them."
His misguidance.
"But I'm just not used to you having moved out yet."
"I don't know if I ever will be."
His melancholy.
"I know you get tired of hearing it, but you're my baby boy Jelly. I just worry about you so much."
Everything he wanted to ignore.
"I'm sorry I call you so much, it's getting annoying isn't it? I'm sorry. I know you're grown up now and you don't have much time but please do call back."
"Please don't forget us even though you're going more into the world now."
"Me, Siegie and even your Papa, we all want to hear from you I promise."
"Take care of yourself Jelly and always remember we all love you."
"I love yo-"
Delete
He swallowed.
Another voicemail from his mother. One of these was sprinkled amongst every handful of messages he went through in his inbox. Her soft and honest voice never stopped tormenting him each time he heard it. The pain woven in her voice couldn't hide, no matter how hard she tried to conceal it.
It always came through regardless.
She was a bad liar.
Just like him.
But he wasn't going to expose his lies to her anytime soon.
Stretching against the suede material of the sofa he had crashed on, he wondered to himself just like any other time, why did he do this?
Why was he heartless enough to ignore her and her every desperate attempt to reach out to him, yet not heartless enough to not feel guilt and heaviness with each word she left for him in her messages that would only ever be dismissed?
He probably wouldn't ever be.
He wasn't like that.
But it's times like this he wished was.
Then it would be easier for both of them.
Reaching over to the glass table beside him, he grabbed a hold of the can of beer he had been sipping from every now and then. He didn't know why he did that either. The taste of beer wasn't something he found pleasant yet he kept taking modest sips of it anyway.
Perhaps because the burn it created in his throat felt deserved and that's why?
Really that's what his life was now.
Doing things without ever really knowing the reason why.
But then again, maybe that's how it had always been?
And it just took nights like this to realise.
He cleared his throat from the burn of booze passing down before taking another hit. As his brain clouded up whilst the smoke was inhaled, he felt himself instantly shift from his heaviness holding him down, to a state that allowed him to continue with his outstanding messages.
"Jellal bro! We're all going out and-"
Delete
"Heyyyy Jellaaal! Do you wanna-"
Delete
When listening to the current voicemails, his finger instinctively trashed them by a few words in. He didn't need to lie to himself now, he didn't really care about the contents of these messages at all.
The only reason he would listen to them for that split second, is with the hope it would relieve some of the burden those rising numbers impressed on him.
To be able to say that he at least did that if nothing more.
It was selfish and it was deceptive, but he wanted to get this tedious cleans over and done with soon.
It wouldn't be truthful, but at this point, what about him was?
He kept going through his inbox absent-mindedly until a change in tone caught his attention and forced him to listen and be present.
"Mr Fernandes, you missed your appointment on the 10th, we are calling to know if you'd like to reschedule with-"
Delete
Ah.
"Mr Fernandes we called up before to inform you of a missed appointment on the-"
Delete
That was right.
There were a number of appointments he had been missing for a while now too. And for some reason he didn't want to follow up on them, when truthfully that would have been the wiser thing.
But it's ever since the diagnosis was made, the help he should have been going for, he soon started to avoid.
And he started to look towards other places for alternatives.
Resolutions.
Which would work for some time.
Until they wouldn't.
And ruined him more in return too.
"Mr Fernandes your prescription has been ready to pick up for 3 months now-"
Delete
Taking another puff, he watched the dirty white glow transiently before his eyes lazily threw a glance at his said 'alternatives'.
On the littered glass table beside him was the evidence of his spiraling.
Things he would have never seen himself using, things he never thought he would be abusing, but it was there by no mistake. In front of him in plain sight. Cartons, bottles and pouches. Empty or becoming empty during another one of these nights that refused to move to the next day.
Life would be going so fast until it would stop.
And when it did, that's when he found himself like this again.
Trying to make it move again.
But regardless, the passing of time never stopped being painful.
Using the back of his hand which he held his cigarette with, he rubbed the side of his eyes, hoping sleep would come to him anytime now. And stop his under eye bags and dark circles from getting more obvious than they already were.
Another sigh fell from his throat as he looked at the dark room around him, wondering how long it would be until the light would hit again. The time lit on his phone told him there were still hours ahead until sunrise. On top of that it was winter too, so the wait would undoubtedly be long.
Trying to pass the time yet again, he went back to going through his inbox. There were a few more reminders from the doctor mixed in with some invites from his friend, and on top of that like he already expected, another few voicemails from mom.
"Jelly hi! It's mama again-"
Delete
"Oh! I actually wanted to quickly ask-"
Delete
"And then I also forgot to tell you-"
Delete
This time he couldn't stand being tortured.
Just hearing the return of her voice had him instinctively trashing them.
The fact she would send so many at once, he could tell why. Hoping that he'd see at least one of them out of the many she piled up, hoping that one of them would catch his attention.
Since he wasn't picking up her calls anymore and calls from himself were once in a blue moon, she resorted to the next best thing.
Sending conversations in hope one of them he'd respond to.
But all she did was talk to herself.
He hated it.
She gave so much effort towards a son that couldn't give her any.
Every time it got harder to.
That's why it was easier to hide away.
But either way that never stopped her.
And only made him spurn more too.
His fingers shook slightly as he held the phone, trying to clear all the messages with her name over them. At times his thumb slipped and it would start her voice, causing his heart to writhe with that deep seated pain from listening to her again, and he'd silence her immediately.
He kept doing that until her name was cleared from what he could see of his screen now. There was no doubt in his mind that he would find more from her if he just scrolled further up, but for now as long as he didn't see that name, it would be better.
As he cleared up his inbox, there were a few other names he came across which he hadn't really heard of in ages now. And these names were mixed with those that tried to replace them.
"Hey Jellal?"
He paused.
"What's up man? It's been so long, oh my god."
Stunned from hearing a voice he didn't really expect to hear again.
"We need to meet up again bro, ever since you went off and did your own thing you barely remember us lot."
From being reminded of a connection that was so different to what he lived by now.
"Call up when you get this alright?
"Honestly bro I wanna see you."
From being reminded of what he had.
"We need to hang out like old times."
And what he was losing.
"I hope you're not just forgetting the past now that you're going places."
Erik still wanted to check up on him, it was surprising.
It had been years now since they had gone their separate ways, and he didn't really think about him as much as he should have for someone he grew up with.
He didn't know why either.
His heart was touched by the fact that his old friend reached out to him after so long, but the warmth was quickly lost as guilt took over and writhed in him further when he remembered Erik was barely a passing thought to him in these current times.
Some part of him wondered if it was mom that told Erik to try and call up on him, he wouldn't have put that past her as if he wasn't answering her, she might have thought that he'd answer to someone else.
But such a thought felt cruel.
As Erik didn't dislike him, he never did. He would have done something like this on his own incentive, he shouldn't have discredited him like that.
The two of them grew up together, were like brothers all the way up until they couldn't take the same path anymore. Practically inseparable until the distance grew and life went on for the both of them. And he never went to close it between them.
Erik…He was a good friend.
He however…
He wasn't.
Delete
Not anymore.
He deeply inhaled, trying to relieve the heaviness that he wasn't prepared for.
Looking over at the cigarette he had been taking his hits from, to his dismay it was reaching the end of it's life. Sighing he took the last pull that was possible so he could savor the bitterness once more before smashing the remnants on the glass table beside him, snuffing out the fire and glow.
He wondered…
Should he reach for another one since this one was finished?
He bounced the thought around in what was left of his head until ultimately deciding against it. Though it was tempting, he couldn't be throwing his health away more than he already was.
Barely in his mid twenties and God only knew what problems were underlying in him from these new habits.
With his (now) free arm he brought it over, using it as a support for the back of his head as he moved about a bit to get comfortable again. It was something he had to do every now and then since sinking into the suede of the sofa didn't remain as pleasant when he had been like that for hours.
After that readjustment, he went back to going through the list of names and numbers, being greeted by those he knew were coming again, making the act of committing to his cleanse for his conscience easier until he got some other messages that had him pausing again.
"Hey babeee, want to-"
There was no need to listen to the rest of that message to know what would follow. And honestly there was only one reason he kept connections like that, but if he had to be frank, in recent times he had barely been interested in that too.
Sex was once intimate.
A pleasure.
Now, regardless of what angle he looked at it from...
It was a chore.
The effort needed to pick someone up, to act in a certain way to try and get something going…
It got tedious .
Sometimes he wanted it. Sometimes it made the nights pass. But other times it made him feel trapped. And tonight was one of those times.
It had been like this for some time too.
Having the option was good.
But he wasn't looking to indulge in it now.
He didn't know when he would again.
Delete
Since his mouth had it's fill of tobacco for the night, he wanted something else to accompany that harsh taste. Unfolding his arm he had used as the support for the back of his head, he reached over to take a few more sips from the open can beside him.
Though the taste was bitter and scalding, he hoped that whatever was left inside could help his eyes close quicker.
It was getting heavier with each sip, so perhaps it was working.
But still he was too present for his liking.
As the burn settled in his throat from his latest sip, he commenced going through the outstanding message. Again, a mixture of new names, names that only called him or he only called when something was wanted, and then the name he wanted to avoid.
At some point his vision started to fade as he kept looking on; whilst listening to the snippets of messages that were deleted without him needing to see. It felt like he would finally give into the darkness, but that's when he heard a voice that stole him straight from it's longed embrace.
"Hey….Jellal?"
His features twitched, unsure of who's voice he heard.
"It's me."
But hearing what they said next confirmed what his brain already started to connect.
"I know we haven't spoken in some time and things didn't end well between us but…"
It was her.
"I've been worried about you."
Another person he didn't think to hear from.
"I'm glad you didn't block me, I really wanted to talk to you but I didn't know how to come about with it until now."
Another person he wished to avoid.
"Call me back when you hear this, okay?"
His eyes blinked open, slowly seeing her name fill his vision and he just stared at it, not knowing what to do.
Erza.
She was the last person he expected to want anything to do with him with how it ended up between them. She wasn't happy with him, they both knew that, so what was making her come back?
The last he had heard about her, she had a new boyfriend. Someone more considerate, someone better suited and overall better for her. Someone who wasn't problematic nor felt unnatural. Someone that would make her happy, unlike him.
And he was happy for her, he truly was.
But why was she trying to talk to him now?
His thumb hovered over her name, shocked still that it would exist again in his recent contacts with all that happened between them. Their ending wasn't as explosive as it could be, but neither was it sweet either.
A sudden death was what it really felt like, or perhaps what had been between them had already been dying before that, and she just made him realise it.
Either way it wasn't going to work out between them like that and he came to accept that.
She wanted things that he couldn't give her.
She dreamed of things between them that he could barely see.
She wanted someone from him that he couldn't be.
Lingering feelings weren't enough to save what was between them.
But he wasn't bitter, she deserved better.
He came to peace with that decision.
And he believed she did too.
So why was it that she wanted to talk to him again?
Shouldn't he have been a closed chapter in her book by now?
Ghosting over her name with his thumb, he briefly contemplated what he should do. And before he knew it, her name also suffered the same fate as all the others he had gone through.
Delete
The weight felt like it increased in his heart, deeper than he thought it would, and adding on to the gaping hole he could feel tearing into him more. Some part of him wanted to look at that name just a little longer, try and build on that hope he killed.
But it was dangerous.
And he didn't want to drag her down again.
He couldn't deny, it was sweet that she was worried about him. It was sweet that she even gave him any thought at all after all these months when things became sour. But really, someone like her shouldn't have been concerned with the likes of him.
They were from two different worlds, and the boundaries couldn't be blurred like they believed they could.
People talked.
The world talked.
It didn't consist of just the two of them.
Everything that happened between them, someone else had a second opinion to say.
And at some point it couldn't be ignored.
He didn't blame her though. The world's judgment would be and was definitely more sound than his own. And ultimately he did want what was best for her, even if it wasn't himself.
And he knew it wasn't himself.
Even if she wanted to believe otherwise.
Scrolling through his remaining list of names and numbers he looked to see if her name existed anywhere else. It wasn't the case. But fact brought conflict to his heart.
He didn't wish to ponder on it so he went on to the other names yet to filter through to distract himself. As he was doing that though, there was a change in the usual tone he would open his messages to.
"Oi why aren't you picking up your phone anymore?"
"Always ghostin now and shit."
"Do you want us to beg to bring you out or somethin?"
"If you wanna be a little bitch about it, suit yourself."
A hostility he didn't expect.
And going through the chain of messages from his new friends, he found a lot of them adopted the same tone too.
"Why the fuck you always hiding now?"
"You're meant to be part of the group but you're acting like a right pussy."
"Stop being a fucking attention whore, the world can't revolve around you. We all have lives of our own you know?"
"Are we supposed to drop everything for you and wait at your feet?"
"Inconsiderate cunt."
But he couldn't say that he was completely surprised.
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
The new group of people he hung out with, he learned they weren't the nicest. A lot of them didn't hold back the sharpness of their tongues either. They were mean, judgmental, self-absorbed and shallow. Not the sort of people you'd call friends proudly.
And to be honest, he didn't know why he had.
At first he believed them to be alike. Lost souls though hurt and troubled by the world around them, finding distraction and comfort in what could take the pain away. While those words were not a lie, just because there was common ground like that, it didn't mean they understood each other.
Or that they even wanted to begin to.
Just because all of you were in a hard place, didn't mean that the support needed would be automatically created.
The world wasn't like that.
Misery loves it's company.
He had every reason to leave, he knew what they were doing to him.
What he was doing to himself.
Yet…
Somehow…
He remained put.
Because perhaps their thinly veiled cruelty resonated with himself. Their self absorption reminded him of his own. Their suffering reminded him of his own. And their self destruction was like his own too.
He lost his feeling of belonging in the world.
And through them, he thought he would find it.
It was wrong.
But he had gone so under he didn't have the strength to wander once more.
Yet with what he could hear in the voice of his false comfort, they would drop him soon. He would be homeless again. A vagrant again. And there would be no one but himself to blame for it.
His vision had become blurred again at some point in time. From listening to the sharp but truthful voices telling him what he already knew. From listening to that which he tried to hide in. From listening to those he tried to hide from until, eventually, a new voice spoke back to him.
"Oi you traitor."
One that was like his own.
"Can't believe you move out and don't even think to contact the single most important guy in your life once."
"That's considered an unforgivable treason in my books, but since it's been some time I'll allow it."
Even though the sides of his face had become wet, he couldn't help the small smile that had cracked at the dramaticness of the obnoxious voicemail. Of course, the first he would hear of his brother again would be through words like that.
But his smile didn't last long when Siegrain's tone also changed to everyone else's.
"No but seriously idiot, have you forgotten us or something? You can't have. That isn't like you."
And even he was questioning him.
"I know things were tense between you and our old man before you left and you don't wanna talk to him. And to be honest I don't blame you, he's always been hard to talk to, you leaving didn't make it any easier."
"But like, that's him."
"What have I done?"
And he too was asking things he didn't have the answers to.
"And Mom?"
"What did she do?"
Or that he was too ashamed to say.
The fact that his overly carefree twin was also getting involved told him how far he was going. And it's not like he didn't know it, he did. He wasn't ignorant of the damage he was doing by any means. But even so, he couldn't stop himself.
He didn't know why, he just couldn't.
"Do you know how much she speaks about you?"
Given how things had become at the household, he didn't think his name would be something she mentioned so openly with all the tension that it would stir up.
But Mom wasn't like how Grandma or Grandad were to his father. Even if he was becoming a lost cause, she wouldn't just act like he was dead like they did to Dad.
She wouldn't act like he did the biggest sin against them.
But now he wished she did.
It would have been better for her if she had.
What did she seek to accomplish by doing such things?
Thinking about it, he wondered if Sieg calling him was another thinly veiled desperation of their Mom trying to reach him. If she nor Erik worked, was it that she resorted to Sieg next?
But before he could chase that thought, his brother quickly disproved that notion with what he said next.
"And before you even begin to think about it."
As if he could tell where his train of thought was going.
"She didn't tell me to call you up."
Was it that transparent now?
"...Okay well she did, but like I did this on my own initiative. You're not the only one with your own life, I've been busy with my own shit and I couldn't find the time."
"But like, why wouldn't I do this? It's not like you're a stranger or someone I don't care about. You're my brother. And like, I realised how quiet it's been since you left. Even more than before."
"Even Erik told me the other day that he hadn't heard from you much since you left and that's when I knew something was up."
"I can understand you ignoring me, like I'm that annoying shithead little brother who gave you more reasons then one to leave on the side for adoption if you could. But Erik? Your best friend since like the time you guys could talk?"
"And Mom too? The woman who has been nothing but good and loving to us. To YOU. The one that's always been there for you before anyone, even me."
"This doesn't make sense."
He was right.
"This isn't like you Jellal."
It wasn't.
"I don't know why you're acting as if it is."
He didn't know either.
But he couldn't tell him that.
"You know someone from our highschool also called up the other day? Asked how you were doing. If you were doing any better. I forgot the dude's name, but I remember it having like Mac in it and it sounded like a book we studied in English."
"Anyway Mac, he didn't have your personal number so I guess he called us up with what you gave him before. Mom told him you moved out anyway though, and she gave him your new number but she told him you don't pick up much since you're so busy."
"I don't know what happened after that. But either that probably didn't go ahead with it or maybe he did and you never heard it yet."
He couldn't answer that for himself either.
Macbeth was concerned about him too? That was surprising. It made him wonder why when the two of them only spend sparse moments together when in high school. Really he had only spoken to the guy before exams or something revolving class since they both were performing similarly.
Once again the sentiment was sweet, but it's pleasant feeling didn't last long as he couldn't even tell if he had ever seen Macbeth's call. Did it ever come through or was it another he mindlessly dismissed and deleted during one of these cleansing sessions.
He didn't know.
But he didn't have time to try and recall an answer as Sieg went on to bring him out of that spell of self-loathing.
"Whatever the case is, people are asking Jellal. People know something's up and they've known for some time now. It's not just Mom, it's not just me. Erik and even old friends are asking about you."
"Why do you keep ignoring everything?"
Yet again something he couldn't answer readily.
But what Sieg said next only brought back the spell of self loathing he saved him from.
One that was more raw and bitter than any other and he hated to face.
"I shouldn't need to tell you all of this. You should know this on your own and honestly you probably do."
"I don't get it."
"You've always been the considerate one. The responsible one. You've always been the perfect one. The one Mom and Dad were proud of most. The one that people liked the most."
"What's happened?"
"It doesn't make sense to me!"
"Like what you're doing is meant to be me! I'm the troublesome little shit that's meant to get Mom and Dad's hairs graying early. Not you."
"You can't take my place like that."
Sieg was trying to be light hearted, but hearing those words had his teeth grating in his mouth. The tension rose in his body without warning from listening to those labels that he couldn't understand anymore. They didn't resonate with him nor did they mean anything now and hearing them was almost a form of mockery.
The bitterness spiked so sharply that he almost cut the voicemail short, but the subject changed again which gave him the shift he needed to listen on.
"Talk to us Jellal."
"Please."
"Whatever you're going through, tell us."
"Tell me."
"I swear, even with as much of an ass I can be, I'll listen.
"I swear Jellal."
"You know what happened to Dad and his brother. Fuck, his whole family. You know what happened to them. I don't want us to be like that."
"With the way things are going it's looking like that, and I don't want it to."
That comparison Sieg made wasn't one that was new to him. It troubled his own mind more often than not. How their dad and his own brothers became estranged, even before Dad was sent to prison.
How one of his uncles became a drug addict during his own youth and becoming a highschool dropout followed not long after. Then on top of all that, kicked out for failing his second chance and becoming dead to the family for years.
Their dad suffered an even crueler fate than that.
And their family was still paying for it.
"I'm sure you don't want it like that either."
He agreed with his brother's words. Never did he want their family to become so pulled apart that it created the same bitterness left in Dad's own. That couldn't even heal after the wounds were long closed.
He never wished for the past to repeat itself.
But he didn't know why he wasn't able to stop it.
He had done everything just so the pain would stop.
So the family would be happy.
But somewhere that intention had inverted.
His actions didn't match up to them anymore.
And he didn't know why.
"So stop all of this!"
"I don't care, you better call me back or I will find you myself and I'll make you talk to me."
"Don't doubt my ability to do that!"
"And for God's sake, talk to Mom already!"
That was the last of Sieg's voice in the message. He stared at the voicemail that had come to it's send, unable to decide what to do with it. Not because of the threats at the end, but his brother had him feeling conflicted again.
Even more than before.
There was something strangely cruel in hearing Sieg's voice compared to anyone else. Perhaps because it was as if his own voice was speaking to him, telling him what he knew deep down and bringing it out into the open where he didn't want it. And Sieg knew more than anyone else, he knew how to say things where they would hit.
He didn't make waste of that in his attempt to reach out.
His thumb hovered over his name just like it did with anyone else's before. But for some reason, this time he found himself unable to commit to his will to be ignorant. Something stopped him from pretending Sieg's message never existed.
He couldn't tell why.
But it felt a graver sin to do the same to him that he had done to everyone else.
So he didn't.
Instead he went to the next message above his, trying to wash his mind of his brother's words, hoping he would go back into that state of ignorance. But without realising who the next message was, he was greeted by another voice that was one he definitely didn't want to hear.
" Jellal."
Because it was one that spoke to him more directly then Sieg ever did.
"I know you don't wish to speak to me, and I will not ask you to."
"But since it's nearly been a year since you moved out, I wanted to ask you."
"Are you happy with your decision?"
"Do you feel liberated now?"
"You said you didn't feel home here, then have you found your home now?"
It was impossible to tell with what intention those words were asked to him with. Was it in mockery? Was it in anger? Was it in sincerity? Or was it the same as him? Asking an answer for the sake of it.
Dad's voice was emotionless as ever. Calm as ever. He couldn't understand his emotions just like he couldn't with his. But somehow, even with this disconnect between them, their father always could say something that struck straight on the target. Even now with these questions he posed out of nowhere, he couldn't help but feel caught.
Because some part of him believed Dad knew the answers to those questions he asked even before he did.
And with what he said next confirmed it.
"You don't need to tell me that answer, that's for you to contemplate and to come to an understanding of."
"Also contact your mother, have whatever issue you want with me, but don't make her suffer for it."
"And one more thing."
"Don't think hiding away is going to solve any of your problems."
If there was anything that left him speechless from what his dad said, it was those last words. He felt himself shake from how direct that comment was, he had seen right through him.
And now that father's voice came to cease, just like with the others, he found himself staring at his name, watching it taunt him on the dimly lit screen, forcing him to comprehend that which he didn't want to.
He just sat there in silence, shuddering and listening to his father's last words echo in his brain. He wanted that voice of his to shut up, he wanted to stop hearing that ridicule, he wanted to stop hearing that clear cut truth.
Wanting to be rid of that taunt, he went on to try and listen to the next messages that were left, in hope they would cleanse his father's message.
Cleanse the emotions he left stirring in him.
But no.
"Jellal please talk to me."
Delete
The next messages only added on.
"W-What have I done wrong?"
"P-Please tell me s-so I-I can fix it-"
Delete
"Pleas-"
Delete
"I-I want to be a good mom."
Delete
"J-Just please let me k-know and i'll be-"
Delete
"I-I'm so sorry-"
Delete
"I-I don't know what I did wrong-"
Delete
"P-Please J-Jellal!"
Delete
At some point he couldn't even tell what he was pressing anymore. Her voice became all he heard.
Out of all the messages he skimmed through, he never failed to single in on the increasing pain that grew with each message he deleted.
Running away could only do him so much, his father was right, but his sins were too heavy to face. Each broken word and bout of desperation he pushed her towards and for what, the scales got heavier.
There was nothing stopping him answering her or anyone, not even pride. What was there to be proud of in a state like this?
Yet why did the only answer he turned to was to keep quiet?
And how long would he be able to?
It couldn't go on like this.
Using the inner palm of his hand he wiped the sides of his eyes, feeling the rawness of his skin itch from the touch. He sighed to himself quietly, allowing for once a sob to break through from his throat as the phone shook from his hand and the first reply he could muster left him in a whisper.
"I'm sorry.."
As the words left him in confession all he could wonder was…
How had it all…
…Come to this?
#Jellal-Centric Fic#jellal fernandes#erza scarlet#Erik Fairytail#fairy tail jellal#fanfic#modern au#Realistic au#ao3 fanfic#ft jellal#Depression Focus Fic#Identity Focus Fic#coming of age#chapter 0#Prologue Chapter#Family dynamics#Failed Relationships#angst#Hurt#Yamishika#Yami-writes
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CHAPTER 0: WHO IS SHE ?
[Start Date: Jan. 25th 2023]
[Asks are now open]
#CHAR: ???#D3CAY au#D3CAY hlvrai#half life vr ai#hlvrai#hlvrai au#fan oc#half life vr but the ai is self aware#D3CAY#original character#ask blog#chrono#chapter 0
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Fate comes for us all.
Page 1 is out now! Read on any of the following sites :]
DeviantART | Comicfury | Webtoon
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