#chaotic cousin remus

[quackkaz]

Remus : If you water water, it grows.

Virgil : ...What.

Janus : He’s got a point.

[mary-mary-not-contrary]

mary macdonald <3

17 she/her bisexual yet has no bitches 😔 virgo (which means i'm better than all of you 😘) proud gryffindor!!

likes: PINEAPPLE, my family and friends, reading (when lily forces me to), flowers, music, playing the flute (don't bully me)

dislikes: sirius, pranks, kale smoothies (thanks mum), and red cabbage

feel free to talk to me but i BETTER NOT see any "ei ei o"s or "how's ur farm"s 😡😡

people that i know: (and more, my other friends are being slow 😔)

the good:

@redwearingred - lily!!!! best friend fr <33

@prongs-plural - james, my favourite marauder ofcc. why is he dating reg... and why is there so much drama...

@girlinthemeadow - DORCAS <3 my favourite ofc ofccc WAIT is she with marlene 💀💀

@everyhouseishaunted - remus!!! i'm jealous of sirius fr like hello i am right here 😔😔😔

@go-lonedove-xo - xeno, should be a poet. so sweet

@marlene-mckickin - MARLENE bestie but scared of her 😭😔 JK I LOVE HER and she always eats her outfits

@euphemia-effie-potter - james' mum?? i actually adore this woman

@alice-the-fortescue - aliceeeeee my actual favourite. she's so kind

@dumb-german-boy - peter <3 he's amazing i love him and is such a cutie patootie

@frank-n-bottom - PETE'S BOYFRIEND SO I ALREADY ADORE HIM HE HAS AMAZING TASTE

the bad:

@im-not-drowning-you-are - he's called regulus, far better than his brother

@bat-b0y-barty - barty! barty! barty! jealous of him

@rosie-evan - barty's... boyfriend?? seems nice.... (secretly in love with him, ofc ofc)

@the-hb-prince - severus, not as bad as i though he would be. actually a vibe (sorry i had to put u in the slytherin group ughh)

@bella-tricks-skeeter - rita's girlfriend hello what how does even rita get bitches

@beetlethebards-second-coming - rita........ as much as i love a good gossip, i don't like her. isn't she dead??

@narc1ssa-bl4ck - who the hell is this??? is this one of sirius' cousins

the ugly:

@sirius-ly-awesome - debatable.... this is sirius... never talk to me pls

arctic monkeys, taylor swift, the 1975, david bowie, olivia rodrigo, lana del rey, maisie peters, tv girl, conan gray, sabrina carpenter, chappell roan!!

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

ooc: hi, this is a rp account for fun! my main is @soupyloopyx <3

ask @bralnwashed to join if this sounds like something you'd enjoy. we do need a few more characters --- guys we have so many but pls join, it's chaotic but amazing

also hi guys most of these pics aren't mine but since i am so slay i might use some of my own

[missmoonfrost]

Bella's bithday - a wolfstar microfic

@wolfstarmicrofic - November 1: Great Hall - Words: 475

Remus didn’t know if it was a werewolf thing or recently having turned thirteen, but somehow, he always woke up starving. He didn’t have much to say at this time of day and was perfectly happy to walk yawning in competition with Peter after the bickering James and Sirius.

Sirius entered the Great Hall the same way as always. Head high, step self-assured, smiling at any girls looking his way – too many, in Remus' opinion.

Before they reached their usual seats at the far end of the Gryffindor table, an older Slytherin girl that Remus recognised as Sirius’ cousin stood in front of them. Remus had never seen the two of them speak to each other and expected Sirius to brush past her the same way he did any other Slytherin. He stopped. Naturally, so did Remus, James and Peter.

“Happy birthday, Bella.”

Sirius' smile was suddenly constringed.

“Thank you, cousin.” She handed Sirius a letter that he took with a shudder.

She gave the other three a venomous look. “I hope you haven’t forgotten your family altogether.”

She sharply turned around and was off to her table. Sirius, however did not get back into walking until James gently pulled at his arm.  He slumped down on the bench and fidgeted anxiously with the letter.

“What does it say?” James prompted.

Sirius sighed and finally opened it. “It’s an invitation. Tea with the family. For her birthday.”

“You don’t have to go?” James suggested.

“Yes, I do”, Sirius sighed, “It will only get worse if I don’t.”

Remus looked at Sirius quietly nibbling at the end of his toast and suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore himself. It hurt him to see Sirius like this. It hurt him not to be able to protect him from whatever terrible things his family came up with. Remus was usually the more careful of them, or boring and scared of getting caught if you asked James and Sirius. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Want to see something fun?” Remus nudged Sirius who grunted and hesitantly looked up.

He nodded towards the Slytherin table and shot a hex with his wand under the table. Suddenly everything on the table was stuck to it. The Slytherins gasped and cried out in annoyance when the forks, toasts or glasses they tried to lift up were stuck.

“Watch now” Remus said and whispered the counter spell.

Half a dozen Shlytherins splashed themselves with their drinks as their cups suddenly became unstuck and there were chaotic outcries and food spilt all along the table.

Sirius snorted and hid a smile behind his hand. Then reached out for some pumpkin juice and a serving of scrambled eggs.

Remus watched in the corner of his eye how Professor McGonagall walked sternly towards him. He quickly looked down but didn’t stop smiling. It was worth it.

[calamiteliza]

Marlene McKinnon was always the chaotic cousin, the dark sheep of the family.

The one who was always quiet and slightly prickly at family gatherings in her teens, who was prone to meltdowns and tantrums and lashing out as a child. Who overshared on her cringey Twitter account when she was 17 and had an emo phase when she was 12. The one who was always slightly weird but not outwardly off putting, neither beautiful nor ugly, not as introverted as Lily and Remus but felt lost in a sea of Mary's and James' and Sirius'.

Never fully one thing or the other.

Just...Marlene.

[andromedashoax]

Andromeda Black

hi I’m Andromeda Black

friend/family call me Andy or Dromeda

slytherin

french

head girl

17 years old

i’m single

lover of poetry, art, literature & music

fashion icon

mes amours:

Slytherins

Bellatrix, my crazy old sister: @the-queen-bellatrix

Regulus, my little cousin : @little-king-offical

Pandora, my prettiest cousin ever: @pandoras-nox

Severus, potions master: @severusprince-snape

Barty, chaotic, boozes, & flirting: @lifeofthe-barty

Evan, chaotic cousin: @whokilledevanrosier

Dorcas, she is that girl: @cas-not-the-band

Rodolphus Lestrange, emo boy: @rodolphus-le-strange

Rabastan, shiny: @feeblemortal

Persephone Lylia, queen of color- @daughter-of-spring

Anastasia Selwyn, a goddess in disguise: @anastasia-selwyn

Vidalia Carrington, gorgeous: @vidiadelafairy

Aelius Fawly, style king: @aelius-with-a-quill

Edmund Avery, chaotic thing 1: @averykissableguy

Bruce Mulciber, chaotic thing 2: @fire-allayer

Valentina Zabini, a show woman: @vszabini

Narcissa: @flowers-of-narcissus

Lucius: @malfoy-lu

Hufflepuff

Olivier, sev’s boyfriend??: @oxxen--free

Sybill Trelawney, fortune cookie: @sybill-patrica-trelawney

Imogen Morningstar, she seems cool:@imogenmorningstar

Adam Morningstar, he quite but really sweet: @adam-lukas-morningstar

Elias Smith, dove: @magandang-kaluluwa

Ravenclaw

Alex, il est vraiment chaud: @kingalexanderthegreat

Xenophilius, spiritual and whimsical actually pretty cool: @xeno-graphical

Theodore, he has it all: @tjsinclairofficial

Emmeline, besties: @emmelineandhervans

Lockhart, another fashion icon (please tell me your secrets): @mystical-magical-me

Rita Skeeter, please stay out of my business: @poison-penmanship

Gryffindors

Sirius, my go to person: @thebr1ghteststar

Remus, favorite future cousin in law: @looneymoonyy

Lily, iconic no need to tell you more: @lilyevensoffical

Alice, very sweet girl: @alicethekindon

Peter, is beth harmon: @wormy-loves-ch33se

Mary, sweet as sugar: @mary-mcdeal

Marlene, hottest hottie around: @marls-mckinn0ns

James, he very funny and Sirius best mate: @james-the-amazing-potter

Hestia, the hot cat mom: @hjonesworld

Phoenix, my gossiping buddy: @flyasaphoenix

Fabian Prewett, smooth: @fabian-with-an-f

Molly Prewett, so sweet @mollberryshortcake

School Papers

Newspaper: @hogwartsstudentconfidential

The Quibbler: @student-quibbles

to join dm @lixzey or @jennapancake!!!! this is my interpretation of the Andromeda so if you don’t like it don’t interact

[thetourturedwritersclub]

Finis vitae sed non amoris-its the end of life but not of love

Chapter Four: December

December 1st 1976

Dear diary,

The quiz was really easy. I guess all that studying did pay off. I saw James on the hall today. I quietly observed him. He was laughing, his smile as bright as the sun. James has a very special charm, a very comforting one I would say. But he's also incredibly annoying at times (a big portion of it).

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 3rd 1976

Dear diary,

I hung out with Narcissa today. We took a walk around the Black Lake. It's her last year at Hogwarts and I don't want her to go. Narcissa is my favourite cousin. She's the one I confine in. She is like my safe space. But I want her to be happy. And if Malfoy makes her happy, so be it.

Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

December 5th 1976

Dear diary,

I had another tutoring session with Potter today. This time we discussed Amortentia. The potion of love. We spoke of the effects of the Potion and I taught him how to prepare it. One thing I've really noticed is that James, yes James. We're on a first name basis now.

Has started concentrating more and has stared paying more attention. Which is nice, it does show that our hard work is paying of. The atmosphere has become filled with a tension I can't quite name. Which is a shame because I thought we were becoming somewhat friends.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 7th 1976

Dear diary,

I finished the book Remus gave me. And it was so incredible and heartbreaking at the same time. Incredible in the way that it's written, yet while having a heartbreaking story. I feel really bad for Orpheus. His insecurities are his biggest regrets. His is going to regret his lack off trust forever

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 11th 1976

Dear diary,

Today the Hufflepuf versus Ravenclaw match took place. Pandora was doing the commentary. Now one thing to know is that Panda isn't the most well-versed when it comes to sports like Quidditch. Frankly she doesn't care at all.So the commentary involved a lot of cursing, chaotic descriptions and it was hilarious. I'm glad I saw the match. I'm glad I didn't stay in my dorm.

But I did see a pair of hazel eyes on the crowd looking at me. A pair of very pretty eyes that belonged to James Potter. He was just quietly looking at me with such a soft look on his dumb face that made me feel... strange. Really strange. His expression changed rather quickly when he noticed I was looking back at him. It went from soft, to calm to nervous and embarrassed. My face showed it less but I went threw the same mental roller coaster.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 16th 1976

Dear diary,

Merlin I have been busy. So busy. School can sometimes take you like an angry storm which lasts for days.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 17th 1976

Dear diary,

I have been invited to form a book club with Remus and Lily. Remus and I have become friends. We meet at the library occasionally. I'm really excited and happy. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

December 20th 1976

Dear diary,

Today was the last day of classes because of Winter break. Thank you Merlin! I'm spending it at Hogwarts with my friends. For five days it's Christmas so I went shopping with my friends. You say where particularly? I say outside of Hogwarts territories

We snuck out to go shopping. I noticed Barty was looking at some type of piercings machine and I got that for him. Secretly of course. For Evan I got a model of the human skeleton which came with a book about anatomy. For Dorcas I got set of paints and brushes. For Remus I got a murder mystery by Agatha Christie and a box of chocolates. For James I made a cart and got him a red sweater with an embroidered lion. It reminded me of him because he is really adamant to show his Griffindoor pride. I think it's nice and I hope he likes it. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

December 25th 1976

Dear diary,

Merry Christmas!! We had a Christmas gathering at the common room, since we were the only students from Slytherin staying at Hogwarts.

We ate a nice breakfast and decided to explore the castle until lunch, then we ate said lunch. After that I went to the library and met Remus. The library has become our meeting spot now. I always find him there after lunch. I gave him the present and he seemed to like it.

From the library I left with an annotated copy of "Anna Karenina". Which such a sweet gesture and incredible gift. I thanked him and gave him a hug. I thought about asking him to give my gift to James but then I realised that was really cowardly so I didn't. I went and gave to him myself.

Well to be honest,he approached me first. I wished him merry christmas, asked him if I was spending it here at Hogwarts. He was and I gave him the gift. Strangely he also gave me gift in return. A necklace. A beautiful silver necklace with my name on it. He looked so nervous for my reaction, while I was thinking that this was the second most beautiful thing I ever layed eyes on. I smiled at him like a damn foul and thanked him. He helped me put it on. When his fingers touched the back of my neck I felt sparks of electricity.

He opened the gift I gave him and he looked very happy. He thanked hugged me. We took a walk together in the yard untill he had to go to his friends and I met up with mine. We went for dinner and then in the common room to open the gifts, like a big happy family.

Pandora had crocheted me an emerald green sweater, Barty got me star shaped earrings, Evan got me a new notebook and quill set, with a cart which said :" For your poems, because I know you love to write - With Love Evan", and Dorcas made me a painting.

By the end of the night I wanted to cry, tears of joy of course. Even tho I say that sometimes I feel like a parent, I'm just so grateful to be surrounded by such an incredible and thoughtful group of people. Usually I don't show a lot of emotion and have good composure but it takes so much energy to not smile all the time when people make you happy. It's just so draining to not show emotion in fear of being perceived as weak. It takes so much energy to always be so composed.

Goodbye for now,

R. A. B

December 28th 1976

Dear diary,

I reorganised my part of the dorm. Now it looks nicer. It has less of a mess and more decorations.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 31st 1976

Dear diary

We went to the Griffidoor New Year party today. It was nice. It wasn't extremely loud which I do appreciate. We were all so drunk. Evan and Barty were dancing, giving their all. While Sirius was singing Rasputin on top of a table. He looked crazy and I was struggling to contain my laugh. Marlene and Dorcas were making out on a corner while Panda was making moves on Lily.

I went outside for some fresh air and there I meet James. He also was there for fresh air, while drunkenly flirting with me. I had to say I was enjoying myself. Then the clock went 11:59. Almost midnight, when James Potter asked me question I never thought I'd hear from his mouth.

" Do you want to kiss me at midnight?". And then I replied with. "Only if you promise me a real kiss next year." He replied grinning "Yes." and kissed me. How much I wished that yes was true.

And then we kissed.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello yall!!! This chapter features : Drunk! Starchaser, Regulus angst, Platonic moonwater, Panda lily, Rose killer, Dorlene and so much more. Also Regulus is drunk and spontaneous here. This chapter was so long and bit difficult to write bc I'm not rlly good with the emotional or romantic stuff, I'm more of a scenery and dynamics person. Tho it was so fun to write! Hope yall enjoy it!

Amazing ppl who wanted to be tagged (tell me if you want to be tagged or unttaged) :

@ivy-is-chaos

@reddamselette

@permetutotheworld

@that-stressed-out-chic

@raine-ray

@blurstardust

[marauderswolf22]

marauders (read the teamans of hogwarts)

sirius would find the tea. having cousins and family in slitherin, being in gryffindor and having fangirls (and boys) all over hufflepuff and ravenclaw too would make him a genius to guessing the rest or memorazing people. he would be the most emotional one for gossips ofc

remus would act like he doesn't care outside of their group but DAMN he would be so into it. he would be a lil bit messy and chaotic with remembering all of it so he'd ask sirius like "susanne was the one with weird shoes right?" but he would also give out such a creative theories

james would be the agent one. when they didn't know something the were really curious about james would go and find the info. he also somehow knew things before all of them

peter would be the confrontive one. he just wanted to know more so when the other would hide next to him he would be like "oh so i heard you and Michell are dating" and say things so full of sins no one would be brave enough to even think of. but it worked when james couldn't do much with his detective self

[qu1cks1lversb1tch]

Some of my Marauders era/Harry Potter Headcanons

Professor McGonagall was considered a patient teacher until the Prewett twins and the Marauders, so when the Weasley twins and Prongslet started Hogwarts, she just knew it would be a chaotic repeat of events.

"Well, thank you for that assessment, Mr Weasley. Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr Potter and yourself into a pocket watch? That way, one of you might be on time."

Of course, we can't forget Ron. He was just as much Gideon and Fabian as Fred and George, but to a lesser degree.

He's brilliant and gets a lot of hate for always making Hermione cry (which im totally not ignoring)

Ron is an important part of the trio, even if the movies do kinda portray him as a replaceable, dickish, himbo, carrot top cunt, who purposely hurts Hermione.

THAT'S OUR FOODIE GINGER SNAP BABY RONALD, OKAY!?!?!???

We respect him in this household, even if we sometimes wanna kick his ass so hard he begins to think he's Viktor Krum.

REMUS LUPIN FOLDS HIS SOCKS

He did it as a child and a teenager, but he carried the habit into his adult life. It made him feel in control of something in his life.

James was Sirius's first kiss

Sirius was James's first kiss

Strictly platonic first kiss between a couple of bro's

It happened second year.

"Its not gay, Wormtail, we had socks on."

Peter was terrified of rats before he discovered his animagus was a rat

If Regulus Black was an animagus, he'd be a black cat, for obvious reasons

Speaking of Regulus Arcturus Black, we stan that dramatic emo bitch in this household <3

He was just like Sirius, but in his own way and he catches so much shit because he was a death eater and did bad things.

Before he was marked, he was a boy who wanted to make his family proud. After he was marked, he wanted to escape.

He defected to the good side, but he died before Sirius could know the good thing he had began. He was just a boy.

Draco heard stories from his mother about Regulus and based many of his best traits after his cousin.

He treated house elves with respect, mostly when Lucius wasn't around to influence him. When he had nothing to prove.

He didn't care if they were like Dobby or Kreacher

He simultaneously hated his father and wanted him to be proud, so he took the dark mark at sixteen

Much like Regulus did

He also wanted to defect. He didn't want to be a killer. He didn't want to die.

He was just a boy.

Hermione carried on the soul of Regulus

I will die on that hill.

She was born a few months after he died and they were very similar, except for the obvious differences (blood status, house, family life, you get the gist)

We all know about S.P.E.W.

Regulus would've been the FIRST official member if he had been alive

Lily introduced her pureblood friends to muggle fashion

In fifth year when she saw James in a pair of tight pants, she almost fell out right in the middle of Hogsmeade

After that, she forbade Sirius from letting James borrow his clothes ever again

For self-preservation purposes, I like to pretend THE prank never happened. If you know, you know. If you don't, I can't explain or I'll cry

Marlene McKinnon = blonde Sirius with boobs

Hermione, Remus, and Lily are the voices of reason amongst their friends, while also being just as bad as them in a more subtle way

"Now, if you two don't mind, I’m going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed or worse. . . Expelled!"

BUT ALSO

Snape on fire ring any bells?

I just know James was sitting in the clouds, laughing his ass off while Lily told him to hush

She was also fighting laughter

Revenge often came in the form of a brilliant muggleborn witch

Sirius craves violence. . . And chaos

He would love when witches or wizards got mad, especially at him.

That shit turned him on faster than Remus fresh out of the shower

Sirius and Marlene yelled at eachother like siblings

Meanwhile Remus and Lily were sipping tea like some high society in-laws at Sunday brunch

Sirius LOVED Abba, but refused to admit it, even after Lily caught him singing 'Mamma Mia' under his breath. . . In the middle of class.

I SWEAR I had a point to this. I started writing HCs and then I started rambling??? I could ramble forever, honestly.

Send requests, I have some free time

Let me know if you want to be put on the tag list :)

It's currently empty, so it sure would be cool if I could make a list :)

[puckwritesstuff]

I had this thought while looking at your Character Boards and the new cutie character baby Heidi! What if... Vali in that universe had twins, Romulus and Remus? Some chaotic cousins for baby Heidi.

You noticed that, huh? ^_^ Yeah, I didn't realize that "Sylvie" was derived from the name of the human mother of the demigod founders of Rome that were famously nursed by a she-wolf, until after I made my Sylvie a Vali variant. I did think that was a cool little bit, because that means that in-story, Vali renamed herself something that still connected her both to divinity and to wolves.

Anyways, have some children's shenanigans.

Thanks for the ask!

---

Heidi rushed around the corner with the two very active wolf pups in her arms. She ducked into a servant’s corridor and set the pups down.

“Okay, now you two change back right now!” she said.

The pups— really her half-elf cousins, Romulus and Remus— instead jumped on each other. One of them tried to bite the other’s ear, only to get swiped by the other’s paw.

Heidi pouted, looking at the situation. She couldn’t change them back herself. Grandfather Loki hadn’t taught her that counter-spell yet.

She gasped. Grandfather Loki might not have taught her how to change them back, but he could certainly do it himself! She scooped her cousins up in her arms again and headed out.

She knocked frantically at the door of Loki’s study, struggling to keep a hold of the pups with one arm. One almost fell to the floor as the door opened and Loki grabbed him before he hit the ground. He brought the pup to eye level, inspecting him.

“I can’t say I’m surprised this has happened,” he said. “Come in, Heidi, we’ll get them fixed in short order.”

It would have been very quick spell work to get the two back to their normal forms if Loki hadn’t taken the time to guide his granddaughter through the counter-spell step-by-step to teach her how to perform it. But even then, very soon, two infant twins were sitting on the floor of Loki’s study, pulling at each other’s pointed ears.

“Light Elves are notorious shapeshifters,” Loki explained to Heidi. “And your Aunt Váli is quite closely associated with wolves. While it took great study and careful work for me to learn how to change my form— as it would for you, if you so desired to learn— Romulus and Remus will be able to shift as often and freely as they desire.”

He looked over at Heidi, who was sitting on a stool, looking dejected.

“Something the matter, my dear?” he asked.

“I was supposed to be watching them,” she muttered.

Loki sighed and put a hand on her shoulder.

“And you’re doing a wonderful job at it,” he said. “Something happened, and you didn’t know how to fix it, so you asked an adult. That’s all anyone could have expected of you. I’m glad you trusted me enough to ask for help.”

She nodded, feeling a little better.

Remus reached up for Loki with grasping hands. Loki picked up his grandson and held him close.

“As long as I’m here,” Loki said, “you can always come to me and ask for help, no matter what trouble you’ve gotten yourself in. I can promise you, I have gotten out of far worse situations than you could imagine.”

Heidi recognized a glint in Loki’s eye that she’d seen before in her aunt Váli’s and her cousins’. A spark of mischief that her father had buried inside of him, but not deep enough that Heidi couldn’t recognize it in herself.

“Like what?” she asked.

Loki laughed softly. “Well, would you like a story about Midgard or Vanaheim?”

“Vanaheim!” she said.

“You know that abandoned castle in your Grandfather Theoric’s fief?” he asked. “The one near the Vanir Wastes?”

She nodded.

“Well, it used to be home to a dragon,” he said.

Her eyes went wide, and Loki smiled.

A while later, Ummi came by searching for her daughter and nephews. Loki let her into the study and took her to the three of them, who had fallen asleep in a large reading chair.

“I’m so sorry about this, your highness,” she whispered, collecting her nephews in her arms. “But with Váli and Alba out on a mission, and Nari at the gatehouse—”

“I understand,” Loki said. “But I’ve told you, Sigyn and I are more than happy to look after our grandchildren.”

“Of course, of course,” she said.

She looked back at her daughter, still asleep in the chair.

“I’ll bring her to you when she wakes up,” Loki said. “I remember when my twins were infants, that’s more than enough to deal with on your own.”

“Thank you,” Ummi said, sighing in relief. “Though I can’t imagine Nari giving you anywhere near the trouble that these two give us.”

“You’d be surprised,” Loki said.

[babysizedfics]

:oo roman and remus are frends now - spare some slliy//chaotic scenes w twins pls thnk you

HMMM finkin real hard ,,..

all that comes to mind is how they both act like total dumbasses when theyre mocking janus together - like they dtill have some tensions and WILL argue over anything but the moment janus says something remotely british "spot of tea" or smth they both rip janus to shreds abt it

like they will make the stupidest impressions that arent funny to anyone except each other and they will be red in the face laughing

u know when u n a bestie or sib are so stupid silly and one thing makes u both laugh so hard u cant breathe and ppl are just looking both amused and bewildered at u two like ur crazy

thats roman and remus going "uuUUU chewsday spot ov tea INNIT" "lawd awmighyty anywun POPpin down ta TESCOOWWW" and wheezing when everyone else is just .. trying to find it endearing of the twins but mostly finding them rlly ridiculous atm

its just so stupid too bc vee also has a british accent , but they dont tease her abt it, only janus lol

[littlebigafterdark]

I wasn't sure if this was too heavy for the other blog so I thought I I'd ask it here. If this is becoming a human au what made Janus decide not to take legal action to get vee back from patton when she ran away as a minor?

mmuch to think abowt (⸝⸝◕⸝⸝⸝◕⸝⸝)

okay okai herr is a BIG explanation of some family history this isnt finalised i was just brainstorming it all with liv last nite but her we go

((btw the au is set in britain now aaaa))

i think the thing is - janus had vee at 18, vees mother i THINK abandoned them both very soon after vee was born , janus and her werent in a romantic relationship

janus struggled to take care of vee alone because he had no family he was in contact with (he himself ran away from home a couple years previously)

after a while of struggling to take care of vee - and a very stressful time with social services wher janus thought they would take vee from him , janus realised he had to find help

he tracked down vee's mother's father - who was american but living in britain, married to another woman, and had two other children , a woman and a teenage boy (logan)

logans older sister and her husband passed away a year after their twins (roman and remus) were born - the twins were put in the care of their grandparents (logans parents) UNTIL the grandfather (also the father of vee's mother) got dementia and his wife had to care for him fulltime

these parents werent the most compassionate - and so they put the care of the twins into their teenage son's care as soon as he turned 18. logan didnt know how to cope with both his sisters death, his dad's mental decline, plus his parents not being very supportive, and having to care for two children, so his best friend patton moved in with him to help him care for the twins

janus learned of al of this when researching the father of vee's mother (who therefore is logans half-sister) and on a panicked and desperate whim he tracked down patton and logan and basically begged them for help ,,

they became close over the few years , vee actually did grow up around the twins and patton and logan , but at some point remus decided he preferred janus to the caregivers he had (pat and lo) and they were all so close by that point they didnt see an issue with him moving into janus' place since they all were around each other so much anyway - patton a ctively encouraged remus to leave even though he was a minor becaus him and roman didnt get aong and also patton was worried about how stressful remus was for logan ... who he recently learned was struggling with an eating disorder

and by the point remus settled into janus' home, the adults started getting more distant as patton started helping logan with his ED and kept it a secret, janus became paranoid that they were going to basically abandon him and vee (and now remus) bc they were distant (his fear of abandoment comes from family history and from vees mother leaving them - and n the future from vee running away too)

so in retaliation janus pulled away too

but then a few years later when vee ran away and janus followed her to check she was safe - he saw her go to their house and saw patton bring her in , and he knew she was safe

so theres a lot of history that meant janus knew vee was safe to live with them - and technically he had remus in his care from when remus was a minor too so it wouldve been hypocritical if he had taken issue

but mainly he wanted what was best for vee even if it hurt him a lot

[vann-cat]

Just told my cousin to drink her rice so it wouldn't spill

[wolfstardaughter-jj]

Like fathers, like daughter

Summary: You're the daughter of the infamous Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. During your 3rd year at Hogwarts, your family finally reunites and none of you plan on separating any time soon.

Warnings: curse words

Song: Last time by Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody

Word Count: 2.3k ik...it's long

A/n: Got the idea from @wolfstar-jegulus-shipper , and in truth, Harry really does need a happy childhood so here you go:)

Your fathers, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were mostly seen as the outcasts of society. One being a werewolf and the other being a convicted murderer.

But that's not how you saw them. You saw them as the greatest people in the world who did everything in their power to stay alive and fight for what they believed in. And what they believed in was love.

You were only one when Sirius was taken away to Azkaban and when Remus lost you.

Saying you had a messy family History was an understatement.

But luckily for you, you had your aunt Andromeda and your cousin Tonks.

They took you in and took care of you. Stayed by your side and became your new family.

They also managed to let Remus visit and see you. Making sure to check in on you frequently. Your only wish was that you would get to be in the same house as him without having to go back to live with your relatives.

At some point Tonks introduced you to one of her closest friends, Charlie Weasley. You meet the Weasley Family and they become your 2nd family.

Your closest friend being Ron, you two were two peas in a pod. You would find every excuse to visit the Weasley's Burrow just to spend time together.

Eventually you two started your 1st year at Hogwarts after Tonks and Charlie graduated. You started the year with your best friend and you were happy.

You meet the famous Harry Potter and befriend him along with Hermione Granger.

You recognized Harry's last name not because of his title being "the boy who lived" but because of aunt Andy's stories of your fathers' adventures with a boy named James Potter.

Let's just say that your first two years at Hogwarts were the most chaotic years of your life. Emphasis on chaotic.

Through those years, you only grew closer to the three, especially Harry. He had grown to become your family, your brother.

Being Y/n Lupin-Black had its cons and pros. The cons being that some people would think that you were more like your imprisoned father.

In truth you were, you were confident, courageous and most of all, had a knack for pranking. But you were also like your lycanthropic father. You were intelligent, resourceful, and most of all, in love with books.

You made it your goal to prove all those people wrong. That you were more than what they saw you to be.

During your 3rd year, Remus steps into Hogwarts for the first time in years as not a student but a teacher. And not just that but he finally got to see you without the law having to interfere with your interactions. Meaning you got to see each other everyday and you cherished it completely.

Aside from having your father by your side, your other father managed to escape from Azkaban. It was like the universe was trying to push your family back together and you made sure to take advantage of it.

Which leads us to the moment where three of the friends had to witness their friend being dragged into a hole by a Black dog.

"NO! RON!"

You stood up as quickly as you could and attempted to jump down but the Willow suddenly came back to life and knocked you back.

You landed on your back with a loud thud. You winced at hard impact from the ground.

You stood up once more and realized that passing through this may be harder than you expected.

By some miracle you three eventually made it through with a few scratches and twigs stuck in your hairs but you made it through regardless.

"Where do you think this leads to?" Hermione asked.

"I have a hunch." You mutter.

As you expected, the tunnel led to the "most haunted house in London". In truth, it was the home to your father's full moon transformations during his time at Hogwarts.

You three climbed up the rickety flight of stairs that led to a whimpering Ron who was sitting on a moldy mattress that laid on the ground.

You ran towards him with haste, knowing full well that he was injured. The door surprisingly swung close causing all of you to turn around. There stood the man you've been waiting to see for 12 years.

"Papa…" you were speechless. You never thought that you would get to see him after all these years.

There he stood, all scuffed up in his Azkaban uniform. Covered in tattoos and smudges of dirt all over his clothes and body. His hair looked like he hadn't brushed in years. You guessed that's what Prison does to you for 12 years.

But you knew deep down that his heart couldn't have changed. No amount of time could change your father's heart into something it isn't.

You couldn't move or say anything, you were still processing it all. He too seemed speechless, looking into your eyes as if he was trying to find the words to say after 12 years of not seeing each other.

But the glint in his eyes said all that needed to be said.

You ran to him and pulled him into a hug. He hugged you with so much warmth, so much love. The love you've been waiting to feel for such a long time.

The trio witnessed a father and daughter finally reunite after years of being apart. They knew your thoughts and opinions on your father and believed you. Even without any proof on the matter, you kew your father was not what everyone said he was.

"My little wolf's all grown up." He whispered into your hair. His voice broke as he spoke, as if he was about to cry.

As you pulled away, you saw the tears that began to form in his eyes.

"You're here." You were starting to cry yourself. You still couldn't believe it.

He's here, he's really here.

"I am, little wolf. And I promise I won't ever leave you again, I won't let it ever happen again." He assured you.

Suddenly the door swung open to reveal your father, Remus. For a moment he stood there, trying to process what he was seeing. He honestly felt like he was dreaming.

Maybe it was the full moon closing in that night or the fact that he finally got to see his husband after 12 years of being apart. It was probably both but he didn't care, all he cared about was that Sirius was here, and he was okay.

The two slowly approached the other in caution, as if they were expecting the other to suddenly disappear.

Once they were finally facing each other, the two grinned happily.

“Looking rather ragged aren’t we?” Remus smirked. “Finally, the flesh reflects th madness within.”

Sirius chuckled lightly, “Well, you’d know all about the madness, wouldn’t you Remus?”

Remus shared a similar chuckle as he tackled Sirius into a tight hug. The two hugged for a moment but once they pulled apart, they pulled each other into a kiss.

The four teenagers stood there with somewhat shocked grins on their faces.

The two pulled away with blissful grins as they rested against each other's foreheads.

The two exchanged heartful whispers as they enjoyed the moment. Soon they pulled away and they focused back on the task at hand.

"I found him, Remus. I found Peter!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yes, I know, Sirius. I know." Remus assured.

Harry walked up. He knew about the unfortunate demise of Peter Pettigrew. He wondered why would they bring up a dead man in the midst of their reunion.

"What do you mean 'I found Peter'? Isn't he dead?" Harry asked.

He held faith in Sirius and Remus because he trusted Y/n. And in his eyes, anyone Y/n trusts is someone he can trust too.

Remus and Sirius exchanged hesitant looks. How were they to explain to the boy that the true culprit of his parent's fate was the rat that sat on his red headed friend's lap.

Eventually the truth just began to spout out from Sirius's lips. Sirius had wanted to tell Harry so much of the truth that it ate at him for 12 years and now he finally got to do it.

And now everything was clear. The truth was finally brought into the light and it was blinding.

Now the only thing they had to deal with was the rodent that was practically shaking for its life.

But before they could even get their hands on him, the door flung open. This time revealing a very amused Snape.

Every fiber in his being has been wanting Sirius to be captured back into the Ministry's clutches so they could perform the infamous Dementors' kiss. And now, he had the honour of turning him in.

He had taken Sirius's wand from him, cornering Remus with his own. "Oh who knew revenge would be so sweet."

"Ah Severus, you still play with that chemistry set of yours?" Sirius teased as he walked back.

Remus insisted that he stop but Sirius didn't listen.

"No, Remus, I've got to know." Sirius replied as he turned to him.

Snape let out a scoff, "You two argue like an old married couple."

"Well, they technically are married." You added with a light shrug.

Snape sent you a harsh glare before facing the two adults once again. "It's quite satisfying that I will be the one handing you over to the Dementors."

"As if I'd let you do that." You spoke under your breath as you shot the stupify spell at your professor.

Everyone sent you shocked looks at the fact you had just stupefied your teacher across the room.

"What? You expect that I just stand here and let him take my dad after I just got him back? Who do you think I am?" You questioned as you were suddenly pulled into a hug from Sirius who was grinning, proud of his daughter's actions.

Eventually they were reminded of their specific predicament when Scabbers- or should I say Pettigrew, started to squirm in Ron's grasp.

They had transfigured him back into his human form. And let's just say no one enjoyed his presence.

"Oh Y/n, look how much you've grown!"

You cringed at the man as he began to come towards you.

"You wouldn't let them kill me would you? You were always nice to me as a rat." He pleaded.

"If it were up to me, I'd rather feed you to that Acromantula in the Forbidden forest." You stated as you shoved him back.

Sirius and Remus faced Harry as they pointed their wands at Peter.

"It's up to you, Harry." Sirius pointed out.

Harry was at a crossroads. Somewhere in him wanted to bring Peter to justice by killing but he knew that it would not clear Sirius's name if he was dead. So he knew the best thing was to let Peter get sent to Azkaban or get the Dementors's kiss.

"The dementors can have him."

And with that, all the colors left Pettigrew's face. Knowing a fate worse than death was upon him.

You pointed your wand at the man and casted the petrificus totalus spell to prevent him from getting away. You've got to be prepared at all times.

As you all walked down the tunnel that lead you back to the Whomping Willow, You were lost in conversation.

As Sirius told Harry that he was more than welcomed to stay with you guys after everything was over, you stopped in your tracks as you remembered the events that would occur that very night.

"Dad," You called out.

Both your fathers hummed in reply as they froze in their spots.

You turned to Remus with a worried look on your face. "Did you take your Wolfsbane potion?"

The look of realization settled on Remus's face as he remembered that he did take his potion but he had forgotten about the full moon because of all of the commotion.

"I did but you guys need go back to the castle. I'll go back to the shack." Remus said as he pushed through the group.

"But dad-"

A hand rested on your shoulder, you turned to see Sirius who had a comforting smile, "Don't worry, I'll be with him. You take your friend to the Hospital wing and Pettigrew to Dumbledore or McGonagall. Alright?"

You nodded as you watched the two run back towards the shack. They didn't want Remus to transform while they were still in the tunnel, that was the last thing they wanted.

"We'll see you in the morning!" Sirius yelled out.

"Stay safe please!" You yelled back.

"We promise we will!" Remus yelled in reply.

The four of you, along with petrified Peter, managed to get out and head back to the castle.

When McGonagall found all of you covered in dirt and scratches, she wondered what on Earth did you four managed to get caught up in again. That was until she saw Pettigrew and all the pieces fell into place.

All four of you explained the predicament and with Peter present. It was solid evidence that your father was innocent.

The next morning. Sirius returned with an exhausted Remus. Luckily, neither of them were harmed during Remus's most recent transformation.

~~~~~~

As promised, Harry did go to live with the Lupin-Blacks and he was happier than ever. He had finally found a place, other than Hogwarts and the Burrow, to call home and permanent family that loved him at an unmeasurable amount.

He had two amazing parents to look after him, along with you as his God sister. He couldn't ask for anything more because in truth, this was what he wanted all along. A loving family.

You were more than happy to finally be reunited with both your fathers. And though there was still many difficulties in the future. You were glad you had both them and brother by side to keep you afloat.

[saidrolav]

🐧can I get a Stranger Things Ship if you’re still doing them with one of the older characters, Im not a minor Im turning 19 on the 28th! I also use she/her pronouns and Im straight.

(This is super chaotic ik but I opened Tumblr then I simply forgot how the English language works💕)

As far as personality, I’ve been obsessed with the Marauders since I was 11ish and made them my entire personality. I have adhd and a lot of people say Im EXACTLY like James Potter personality wise. I’ve also been in LOVE with Sirius Black forever (Remus too but mostly Sirius). I have no aesthetic really I’ll wear a super frilly pink dress and those Amazon knock offs of the Versace platform heels in hot pink one day and one of seven leather jackets and old beat up black converse the next. I’ve been a competitive figure skater for 15 years and in middle school I skated to ACDC’s Back In Black after all the rude looks from old ladies I went on to do Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Def Leppard, ZZ Top, The Rolling Stones, Queen, and more. I also live in a small town in Illinois and shot trap in HS (just in case thats where you shoot clay pigeons with a shotgun) I got Top Female 3 years in a row and did better than most of the “redneck” boys who got their egos bruised when I STILL shot better when I showed up in my prom dress THREE TIMES. I drive a cherry red Mustang and sometimes wear lipstick and press on nails to match it. I have a MESSY room and car but you best bet everything else is organized, all my notes are color coded with rainbow pens and I have a 3.75 gpa, I work on campus at my university in the DEI office and I’m the president of the Disability Awareness club all while I’m running off of iced lattes. I loved all the kids of ST I just don’t relate as well because I’m older than them, but I do relate to Dustin and love his comedy. I somehow got MULTIPLE rare genetic disorders (how one gets multiple RARE genetic disorders idk the drs dont know either and all these rare disorder foundations want to test me now) one of them is Ehlers-Danlos and I have all the generic symptoms like stretchy skin and bad joints my knees actually dislocate and pop back in as I walk sometimes but the latest thing was my middle finger dislocated and I got it xrayed to make sure I set it correctly and now I have my xray of me flipping off the xray machine taped to my wall and I sent it to all my friends too with no explanation. Ive also become the nurse friend of the group because I currently have 12 diagnosed conditions and I used to have to give myself Subcutaneous infusions once a week before I switched to IVs in the hospital and even though I in no way went to medical school when someone comes to me hurt usually I can fix it or when they come with symptoms I can give them advice but tell them to still go to a dr then they go to a dr and usually the dr says the exact same thing I did except Im a Human Resources major and an anthropology minor and Im keeping it that way. As far as a best friend in ST I’d have to say it would be Robin because because she’s exactly like one of my real life best friends.

Tysm!! I hope you’re having a great day :)

Hiiii! I'm somehow happy you talk about Ehlers-Danlos because my cousin has it and i know how hard it can be 🛐 But even tho all the difficulties YOU are the main character and i love you!! 💚 i ship you with..

Steve Harrington!

If you're bestfriend with Robin you betcha she would do the match maker between you and Steve and she would precise to him that if he breaks your heart she would break his neck 👀

He ADORES the badass vibes you give off and he's head over heels for you!! He's also in love with your Mustang and any time he has the chance to drive it you bet he WILL.

He'll be super protective over you even tho you're the doctor of your friend group he wants to make sure that you don't get hurt in any way!!

If he would've been here when you kicked those redneck's asses he would've probably been like "YAP THAT'S MY GURRRL!! 🗣🗣"

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Jeddy Headcanons

1. By the time Teddy becomes an Auror, James is just starting to train. Teddy offers to help him, but regrets it not too long after

2. James realized that he had a crush in Teddy back in sixth year, but had no clue how to take it. We are practically siblings, he told himself constantly

3. Teddy never really thought of James as anything more than a friend until a year after James joined the Aurors. At some point, the two of them are on a dangerous mission and James almost dies. Once realizing that he's not dead, Teddy shoves him against the wall and starts cursing at him for being an idiotic moron before snogging him

4. Teddy will often change into a spider to scare James, who inherited his uncle's fear of arachnids. James hates the eight-legged creatures and threatens to spray Teddy with bugspray

5. They end up getting married when they're older, but till then they live together in an apartment. Harry wasn't so fond of them living together, but Draco hit him, saying that his cousin could do whatever they wanted

6. James grows a mullet that Teddy loves to decorate with bows and hair ties. James doesn't mind, but he pretends to hate it

7. James and Teddy both get matching tattoos (they were both drunk, Teddy wouldn't have ever gotten one if they weren't). The tattoos are small trees with leaves falling down

8. On Valentines day, James wakes up extra early to prepare breakfast for Teddy, but the animagus is already up, frying breakfast

9. James comforts Teddy on the date of the second Wizarding War. They spend the day at Remus' and Tonks' graves

10. Teddy isn't sure how they keep up with James' chaotic stupidity. James is also surprised that someone can keep up with him for this long

[fruitcoops]

Would love to see a wired autocomplete interview with coops! 🥰

Anon, did you read my mind? These two have such chaotic energy when they’re given an outlet and it was a true pleasure to write it. Dorcas is exhausted. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

“Wait, I want to pull the tab,” Remus said, tugging on the edge of the cardboard lightly as Sirius tried to hold it out of his reach without falling off his chair.

“I get to read it out loud for you and then we switch!” Sirius protested, smacking him gently on the head with it. The resulting bonk noise made them both break down laughing.

“You guys know we’re rolling, right?” Dorcas asked as she gathered a stack of cards in her lap, looking highly amused.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” She turned to the camera with a bright smile. “Welcome back to Lion Pride, hockey fans! I’m Dorcas Meadowes and I’m here today with Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to answer some of the internet’s most pressing questions. How are you two feeling?”

“Terrified,” Sirius said.

“The internet is like the Twilight Zone,” Remus agreed. “Who goes first?”

“Sirius, you’ve got a card already. Take it away.”

He cleared his throat and grabbed the edge of the first pull tab, ripping it off slowly. “That is so satisfying, woah. How tall is Remus Lupin?”

“I am five foot eleven and a half.”

“That half inch comes from your sneakers and you know it.”

“It does not!”

Sirius just smiled and removed the next paper slip. “What language does Remus Lupin speak?”

“I speak English and a little bit of French. Tried to learn Spanish in high school, but failed miserably.”

“I love the wording on this one,” Sirius said as he turned the board toward the camera. “Remus Lupin Green Bay Packers.”

“Dammit, now everyone knows my full name,” Remus sighed. “Uh, the Packers are cool.”

“I think people were wondering if you ever played on the team,” Dorcas said.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Do I look like a football player to you?”

“Next question!” Sirius ripped the tab off and took a good section of the paper above with it. There was a beat of stunned silence. “I am…so sorry.”

Behind the camera, Marlene burst out laughing, along with most of the camera crew. “It’s fine, keep reading.”

“Okay, um…” Sirius squinted at the partially torn-off question. “Remus Lupin name meaning.”

Remus groaned. “I hate this question. Yes, it does mean Wolf Wolf. Yes, my dad’s name also means Wolf Wolf. Yes, my mother’s maiden name is Howell. I’m aware of the endless puns.”

“Don’t you mean a-were?” Sirius asked as a slow grin spread across his face. Remus grabbed the card and bonked him over the head with it.

“Remus, your turn.” Dorcas handed him a poster board and took the blank one.

“I’m going to be careful with this one, unlike somebody,” he teased, kissing Sirius on the cheek. “Is Sirius Black…related to Pascal Dumais?”

“In all the ways that matter, yes.”

Remus grinned when he read the next one. “Is Sirius Black missing a tooth?”

“No!” Sirius gave the camera an offended look. “I have all my teeth, thank you very much.”

“Is Sirius Black mean?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Reporters don’t like you very much.”

“The feeling is mutual. I love the fans though, most of them are so sweet.”

“Oh, I like this one. Is Sirius Black married?” Remus rested his chin on the top of the card and batted his eyelashes, making Sirius laugh.

“Almost! Ask me again in July.” Remus set the card on the floor and Dorcas passed Sirius a new one. “Does Remus Lupin wear glasses?”

“Nope.”

“Does Remus Lupin��I have never said your name so many times in one sitting, my god—does Remus Lupin have siblings?”

“Yup.”

“Does Remus Lupin—”

“Can you elaborate?” Dorcas asked with a laugh. “How many siblings? Names? Ages?”

Remus turned to the camera. “I have one brother named Julian and he’s ten years old. He likes piggyback rides, ice cream, and hockey.”

“Much better. Take it away, Cap.”

“Does Remus Lupin have allergies?”

Remus frowned in confusion. “Why do people want to know that? Uh, yeah, I’m allergic to some pollens. Spring is hell.”

“How many of these do we have?” Sirius asked as he tossed the board over his shoulder and crossed his legs.

“Quite a few! Loops, you’re up.”

“Where is Sirius Black from?”

“Canada.”

“Where does Sirius Black live?”

“The Lions ice rink. I set up a tent in the middle of the goal posts every night so that I’m never late to practice.”

“Sirius Black gay.”

Sirius paused. “I think we’re missing a couple words in there.”

“That’s literally all it says,” Remus laughed, moving it to show him. “Sirius Black gay. I don’t know, honey, Sirius Black gay?”

“Sirius Black very gay,” he confirmed. “Sirius Black thinks people need to have better grammar.”

“Is Sirius Black’s hair naturally curly?”

“No, I use a curling iron every morning to do each individual curl,” he said. “It takes me seven hours and thirteen minutes, and I use a full can of hairspray.”

Remus scooted over so Dorcas could hand him a new card. “He keeps a stopwatch and tries to beat his personal record every time.”

Sirius pulled the first tab away and immediately started laughing too hard to speak.

“What does it say? You can’t just leave me hanging!” Sirius turned the board around and Remus leaned down to read it. “Is Remus Lupin hockey? Yes. I am the entire sport of hockey condensed into one being. I’m coming for basketball next. Thanks for asking!”

It took a few seconds for Sirius to get his breath back. “What is Remus Lupin—”

“I thought we just answered that.”

“—what is Remus Lupin zodiac sign?”

Remus paused. “Is that the thing Pots was talking about the other day? With the quiz?”

“That was love languages.”

“Your zodiac sign depends on your birthday,” Marlene called. “When were you born?”

“March 10th.”

“You’re a Pisces.”

“I’m a Pisces!” he said brightly to the camera. “No idea what that means, but it sounds cool.”

“It means you’re two fish.” She laughed as Remus sucked his cheeks in for a fish face. “Very nice.”

“Thank you.”

Sirius was especially careful as he pulled the paper slip off the next question. “What is Remus Lupin first job?”

“The grammar of these questions is killing me. Um, I worked in the university bookstore during college.”

“On the list of ‘things that don’t surprise anyone’,” Dorcas joked.

“Did Remus Lupin go to college?”

Remus gave the camera a look. “First of all, I have a medical degree. Second of all, did people completely forget about the whole ‘about to be drafted right out of college’ thing? It was a grand total of four years ago! Google it!”

“That’s what they did,” Sirius pointed out, gesturing to the board.

“True.”

“Last one for this card: how old is Remus Lupin?”

Remus thought for a moment. “Y’know, I kind of lost track after the first few centuries. My turn…what is Sirius Black real name?”

Sirius glanced at the camera. “It’s Sirius Black? Is this a trick question?”

“There are people out there who think that’s a fake name,” Dorcas said.

“Um, okay. Yeah, my real name is Sirius Black, my brother is Regulus, my dad is Orion, and I have cousins named Andromeda and Bellatrix.”

“What’s your uncle’s name again?” Remus asked.

“Which one? Cygnus? Phineas Nigellus? Arcturus?” At Dorcas’ surprised look, he laughed. “Oh, I could go all day long with this. That’s the tea on old French families with weird-ass naming traditions.”

“This next one is similar: Sirius Black middle name?”

“Orion.”

“Fun fact: the first time I saw your full name, Moody had written it and I thought it said ‘onion’.” Remus laughed as Sirius’ jaw fell open. “Those three seconds were a highlight of my life. Alright, what’s next…what color are Sirius Black’s eyes?”

“Blue.”

Remus shook his head. “They’re gray, almost silver.”

“Basically blue.”

“There’s nothing basic about you, babe.” Remus slid the board onto the floor and passed Sirius a new one. “Hit me with your best shot.”

“Is Remus Lupin Canadian?”

“I wish.”

“Is Remus Lupin left-handed?”

“No, but a lot of people seem to think that I am.”

“Is—” Sirius cut off with a snort. “Is Remus Lupin scrappy?”

“Are you fucking with me?” Remus asked, leaning over. “Is that actually what it says?”

“Yep.”

“Scrappy? Really?” He shook his head, lost for words. “I mean, I guess. Nobody’s ever called me scrappy before.”

“I don’t like this last one. How much is Remus Lupin worth?” Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his temple. “You’re priceless.”

“I’m worth at least half a PB & J, but only if you use the good peanut butter. If you use the shitty Skippy stuff, hand over the whole sandwich. My turn! Does Sirius Black have piercings?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Does Sirius Black have an Instagram?”

“I do. Sblack12, if you want to see pictures of my friends’ kids and this cutie.”

“Is Sirius Black Australian?”

“Fuck off. I’m French Canadian, how the hell did anyone think I was Australian?”

“Sirius Black birthday.”

“I have one.”

“What is it?” Marlene asked. “I’ll tell you your zodiac sign.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “November 3rd.”

“Scorpio bitch.”

“Hey!”

“On the bright side, Scorpios and Pisces are super compatible.”

“What a relief, I was really banking on our astrology compatibility,” Remus said drily.

Dorcas handed Sirius a fresh board. “First up: can Remus Lupin sing?”

“Eh.”

“The correct answer is yes. What is Remus Lupin like in real life?”

“I’m horrible. I kick every puppy I see and carry one of those sticky hands from arcades to steal candy from children.” A smile twitched at the edges of his mouth and Sirius’ cheeks turned pink from suppressing his laughter. “Like Spiderman, but evil.”

“What happened to Remus Lupin after college?”

“What didn’t happen to Remus Lupin after college?” he laughed, leaning back in his seat. “These past couple years have been bonkers fucking yonkers. I became a PT, got a secret boyfriend, and now I’m engaged and an NHL player. There were, like, three seasons of character development squished into eighteen months.”

“Alright, last one. Why Remus Lupin kissed Sirius Black?”

“Because he’s hot and nice. Also, because he’s my fiancé.”

“Is that the criteria for kisses?” Sirius asked. “I just have to be hot and nice?”

“Pretty much. You’ve got both boxes permanently checked.”

“Final card,” Dorcas warned as she handed it to him. “Make it count.”

Remus cleared his throat. “How does Sirius Black work out?”

“I rollerskate and hula hoop for six hours a day simultaneously.”

“How old is Sirius Black?”

“Ageless.”

“How did Sirius Black meet Remus Lupin?”

“Fun story, actually. You know the movie Ocean’s Eleven?”

“Are Sirius Black and James Potter—”

“Dating.”

“—still friends.”

“Damn, I thought I had that one.” He did a double take. “Still friends? What happened? I saw him an hour ago, tops.”

“You might have to google it,” Remus suggested as he slid the board across the floor. “That’s it!”

“Way to go, guys,” Dorcas laughed. “I know literally nothing new about you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius said as the two high-fived. “We were completely honest the whole time.”

She faced the camera with a poorly-hidden smile. “Thanks for joining us today, Lions, and remember to like and subscribe for more content!”