#lupiinee

[pctioneer]

@lupiinee​ said:

“You’re right, I don’t understand, yet. Will you help me?”

THIS WASN’T A CONVERSATION HE IMAGINED HE WOULD EVER BE HAVING WITH REMUS. Or with anyone, for that matter. Severus still isn’t sure whether or not he considers him a friend. Delivering his potions for a little over two years now, he certainly sees him in a different light now. Still, there are things he doesn’t think he will ever forgive Remus for. But did any of that really matter anymore? Neither of them was likely to survive this war. If he remains silent now -- he might have to take that silence to the grave.

            ❝ My father was a cruel man. My mother was    w e a k, ❞ he begins. 

       ❝ He had her wand broken the day they were wed --, it was the only way he could control her. He did unspeakable things to her. To both of us.❞

inspired by: Noticing Trauma sentence starters.

status: open.

[ssevruss]

                           𝓢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝓢𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞  𝐚𝐧𝐝  𝓡𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝓛𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐧'𝐬                                                  𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐈                  𝓓𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝓐𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝓓𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝓒𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬, 𝓟𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝓙𝐢𝐧𝐱𝐞𝐬                                       𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐘 , 𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐍𝐃 ,  𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐌

     ❝ Consider everything you’ve learned thus far  —                                                     And consider that you’ve hardly learned anything at all, ❞

      ↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ 𝓢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝓢𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞  adored  by  @goeticapothicaire​​                                           ↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧   &&  𝓡𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝓙𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝓛𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐧  perfected by @lupiinee​

[bornbreathless-archive]

@lupiinee liked for a starter

It’s late in the evening when she pads her way into the room, taking a cursory look around before making her way to the sofa and climbing up to start butting her head against Remus’s arm.

Sol demands attention.

[thewrongsorts]

@lupiinee gets shepherds pie

James hates the Hogwarts kitchens, just a bit— They’re dark and huge and it’s nearly impossible to have any space to yourself. It’s not remotely fun or meditative like cooking at home can be. ( And, frankly, why would you want to cook for yourself? Not when they eat so well in the great hall. )

But cooking for someone else... 

It’s Remus’ birthday, after all. Home cooking is important for special occasions, he’s decided. He certainly can’t imagine his own birthday without a pile of treats and comfort food from his mum and dad. And there’s something deeply rewarding about turning simple potatoes and lamb into such a comfortable, happy dish; one of his favorites, as well as Remus’.

“Hope you like it,” he beams, setting the dish down with a beam. “I know it’s not exactly a cake, but... Seemed homier, y’know?”

[adveanture]

*    @lupiinee​​    —    I’M  NOT  GOING  ANYWHERE  UNTIL  YOU  GET  SOME  SLEEP    (   REMUS  &  SIRIUS   ) 

THE   ICE   CLINKS   IN   HIS   GLASS   AS   HE   MOVES   THE   SCOTCH   BACK   AND   FORTH.         still   the   same   place      —      still   the   same   order,   the   same   gaudy   decanters.            “      well,   you   ought   to   have   a   drink   with   me   then,      ”            he   replies   with   a   sharp   grin.            “      courtesy   of   my   dearly   departed   father.      ”            if   he   has   to   stay   here      —      if   he   has   to   live   in   this   house   again      —      he’ll   find   ways   to   enjoy   himself.      stealing   from   his   father   beyond   the   grave   helps,   even   if   only   a   little.            “      a   miserable   bastard,   of   course,   but   he   always   had   fine   taste   in   drink   .   .   .      ”   

[askabound]

@lupiinee​    said    :    a moan sounded from his lips, head pressed hard against the wood of the door as another painful rip ran through him, stifling his breath and making him lose all sense of self, a cry, a sob, fingers dragging down the pine , fingernails pulling off && the weak attempt . " sirius , sirius , please open the door , i can't do this ---- " bent double , an echoing cry sounding from him, " sirius ! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, I NEED ---- fuck . " tears rolling down his cheeks, remus let out a terrified cry. don't open the door, don't open the door. don't listen to him. don't do it sirius. don't do it.

even if he lived up to an unthinkable age,    having to do this every month for the rest of his and his friend’s existence,    sirius thought,    it would still not be enough time to get used to this.    in fact,    and he was quite certain of it,    there was no amount of remus’s suffering he could endure that would desensitise him to the horror that was the transformation itself.    

he sat on the cold wooded floor on the other side of the bedroom door,    knees drawn halfway up,     elbows resting atop them in what appeared to be a lazy sort of comfort.    though if one were to look closer to the hard set of his shoulders,     the tension in his fingers as though he was fighting the instinct to ball them up into fists and dig his fingernails into the palms of his hands to offset the crawling sensation that travelled in waves throughout his body,     then they would know this was the stance of a boy who was itching to listen and cede to his friend’s request.    if for nothing else but to at least be in there with him.     

the tips of his shoes were touching the door,    ready to push against the wolf’s attacks.     sirius squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a breath before shaking his head.    as if remus could see.    as if remus could look into his pained expression. 

❛    you know i can’t do that,    remus.    just a few more minutes and it’ll be over.    then i’ll see you again,    yeah?    ❜     he called out,    clicking his tongue when his voice broke mid-sentence.    ❛    we’ll have lots of fun,   you’ll see.    and then tomorrow morning i’ll tell you all about it.    every little thing that we did,    i promise.    ❜

[pctioneer]

@lupiinee​ continued from HERE

SHIT  .  

he  hadn’t  been  expecting  anyone  to  be  in  the  kitchen  .  let  alone  grab  him  . sirius  wasn’t  speaking  to  him  since  their  argument  earlier  that  month  &&  only  merlin  knew  where  about  his  old  friend  was  within  the  house  .  &&  shit  ,  remus  didn’t  even  know  if  sirius  was  really  CONCNERNED  about  the  full  moon  in  a  few  days  .  no  doubt  the  other  had  lost  track  since  his  days  in  azkaban  &&  his  time  on  the  run  . remus  had  hunched  over  himself  ,  breathing  hard  as  a  SUDDEN  ,  but  not  unexpected  wave  of  pain  hit  him  , causing  him  to  lose  his  balance  .

���  SEVERUS  ?  ”  he  glanced  up  ,  &&  breathed  hard  before  trying  to  stand  again  ,  stomach  churning  inside  &&  not  sure  if  he  could  stay  standing  for  much  longer  .  “  oh  shit  ,  shit  —  ”

HE MOVES SWIFTLY -- almost     i n a u d a b l e    -- when he notices Remus starts to sway. He is all but certain he would have fallen down had he not reacted, judging by the fact that he was supporting most of Remus’s weight at present && that it took several seconds for him to regain his    b a l a n c e. It’s clear he is in A LOT of PAIN. Why was he left    a l o n e? With nothing useful to occupy him, one would think Black could find the time to at the very least accompany his friend. 

      ❝ Sit down -- ❞ 

Severus doesn’t let go of him -- even though by now he is painfully aware of how close they were. He has never been particularly comfortable touching other people, but it was something he could push past when the situation demanded it. Despite his commanding tone, he is patient, allowing Remus to lean on him rather than trying to FORCE him to move. Once the other is seated, he takes a step back, glancing at the porcelain cup abandoned by the sink. With a flick of his wand, a second floats down from the cupboard above. Once the kettle is heating, he sits down opposite Remus, meeting his eyes.

     ❝ What do you need? ❞ 

[ssevruss]

            .·゜-: ✧ :-   @lupiinee​   |   birthday edit !!!!

 “  You don’t need to wear a party hat, despite whomever has told you otherwise, ”

                                   “ —- What ? … But I — Minerva and I shall be having a conversation. ”

[thebrxghtestwxtch]

Starter for @lupiinee

"Thank you for inviting me to your new home." Hermione said to him with a smile. She had just heard that Lupin had even offered the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher once again and that he had accepted the offer. She was happy for him and wanted to go to him personally and congratulate him. She had always loved visiting Hogsmede and it was comforting to see that hardly any damage came to it during the war. Nothing had changed it was just as picturesque as before.

"I wanted to see you before term started again and congratulate you." She said softly. "If you need any help then just ask. I will be happy to help." She continued. Hermione still had some loose ends to tie up but once she has done then she will probably apply for a job at the Ministry.

[lovegoed]

continued.  @lupiinee

REMUS  FELT  HIS  HEART  DROP  .  watching  the  blonde  haired  teenager  carefully  pin  up  another  flyer  asking  for  her  things  back  .  he  had  heard  the  same  words  pour  from  his  mouth  too .  he  had  told  mcgonagall  the  same  thing  .  told  madam  pomfrey  the  same  thing  .  told  dumbledore  the  same  thing  .  &&  it  wasn’t  ...  it  somehow  made  it  worse  to  hear  it  out  of  someone’s  mouth  who  clearly  did  not  DESERVE  to  be  bullied  &&  broken  up  like  this  . remus  let  his  expression  soften  gently  before  then  taking  some  of  her  flyers  .

“  at  LEAST  let  me  help  you  get  them  back  ,  ”  he  said  quietly  .  “  come  on  ,  &&  then  afterwards  we  can  go  for  some  supper  .  ”

                                     luna refuses to feel sorry for herself ,  not when there are so many others that are far worse off .  she’ll see the good in everyone around her until it kills her .  even if that is what kills her .  after her mother passed ,  it would have been so easy to be consumed by darkness .  it takes far more strength to insist on staying in the light .  so if occasionally she hides behind her quibbler or passes off her missing possessions onto nargles just to keep a smile on her face ,  then who could really blame her ?  “  that’s awfully kind of you ,  professor .  but i’m sure you have more important things to do .  ”  her wide ,  silvery eyes look up into his .  an open book ,  truly not expecting him to care about her missing things or to help her find them .

[evasn]

accio  starter  call   ...   @lupiinee

                                       a hand absentmindedly comes to rest on the barely there swell of her belly .  lily keeps one eye on the crack between the curtains and the other on remus .  he looks skinnier than the last time she saw him ,  the circles under his eyes are darker too .  she won’t be able to rest until the other boys are back from the meeting ,  poor remus having been left behind to keep her company ,  but fretting over her friend should prove to be a decent distraction .  “  when was the last time you had a proper meal ?  ”  she asks with one eyebrow raised .  “  we should have a family dinner tonight ,  the five of us .  ”  worrying about remus’ state is easier than worrying about what is being said at the order meeting  .

[empaht]

accio  starter  call   ...   @lupiinee​

                                       the damp weather sends her toward the cover of the wooden bridge .  the hood of her cloak is pulled over her hair but it’s already begun to soak through .  morwenna comes to a startled halt when she sees professor lupin’s form only a few feet before her .  if she were any other student ,  professor lupin might actually be her favorite teacher .  but she’s not .  the sadness that she feels from him seeps into her body ,  making her already overwhelmed mind drag further into despair .  morwenna does her best to avoid him ,  something that she feels rather guilty about .  her parents were friends with him during their days with the order ,  she knows it’s rude of her to not reach out on their behalf .  “  professor ,  ”  her greeting comes out as a squeak ,  “  i thought i was the only one that ventured from the castle on days like these .  ”

[thewrongsorts]

❝ true friends are never apart —

@lupiinee && thewrongsorts | anti jkr, fanon noncompliant, mixed canon remus john lupin && james potter i

                          — maybe in distance, but never in heart ❞

[adveanture]

*    @lupiinee​​    —    YOU  KNOW  MY  DOOR  IS  ALWAYS  OPEN  TO  YOU    (   REMUS  &  HARRY   ) 

IT   ISN’T   EASY   FOR   HARRY   TO   TRUST   ADULTS.         there   have   been   few   he’s   known   that   cared   for   him      —      that   wanted   to   be   trustworthy.      he   doesn’t   matter   to   so   many   of   them      —      expendable   to   the   best,   worthless   to   the   worst.      but   professor   lupin   has   already   proven   himself   different.      he’s   actually   helped   harry      —      helped   all   of   them      —      more   than   any   other   teacher   ever   has,   except   for   perhaps   professor   mcgonagall   and   miss   lainey   from   year   one   in   the   muggle   world,   who’d   insisted   on   harry   receiving   an   eye   examination   when   the   dursleys   dragged   their   feet.   

harry   nods.            “      i   know   that,   professor,      ”            he   replies.            “      thank   you.      ”            but   that   familiar   bit   of   suspicion   at   kindness,   at   openness,   creeps   in,   and   he   wonders:      is   lupin   only   offering   this   because   he   thinks   harry,   ron,   and   hermione   might   be   up   to   something?   

[bornbreathless-archive]

“  i’m broken.  and i don’t need anyone to try to feed me white lies about it.  something inside me is broken and it isn’t just going to be put back like it was.  ” 

@lupiinee

"So you're broken, big fucking deal."

It comes out a lot more harshly than she intended, words bursting out before she has the chance to bite them back, but she's annoyed. Why can't, no, why won't he see what it is that she his friends can see?

But she can admit that that was over the line, and she huffs out a grunt of frustration - this one more at herself than at him. "I just mean- Look, life decided to beat you over the head with the shitty end of the stick, I know, but Jesus Christ, Remus, that isn't all you are! You're the smartest man I've ever met, god knows you're the best wizard and you have a wicked sense of humour. You're more than just broken, and telling you that isn't a lie."

Char sighs, deflates almost as if the act is draining the air from her tires. "I just wish you'd see that."

[pctioneer]

@lupiinee​​ liked THIS for a starter.

       REMUS LOOKS LIKE SHIT - but that was somewhat to be expected after a few weeks with Greyback’s clan. Fenrir was one of the few people that could genuinely make Severus uncomfortable. There was something off about him -- about the way he gave in to the beast inside of him even when in human form. He definetly didn’t envy Remus for being forced to spend time under his rule. 

         ❝ I didn’t know you were back in London - ❞