#chaotic anxiety

[xkriskrossx]

(FOAAN meme incoming)

Pomni:my man is perfect

Her man:

[tiddie-taylor]

IM PISSING MYSELF HELOPP I LOVE THEM

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A new challenger approaches (slowly)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[make-death-proud-to-takeus]

Maybe I'm not introverted, maybe I want community, gossiping over a glass of wine, coffee shop dates, dying in some club's dirty bathroom, knowing half a city and saying hello to my favourite restaurant waiter; maybe I got too badly burned too young, just got too scared, settled for living in numbing comfort

[hephaestusshield]

anxiety. anxiety feels more like a biiig heavy rock on your chest. you try to breathe, but it's quietly impossible. your only thoughts are blurred, you can't think rational, everything is your enemy. it's impossible to stand and you feel lonely, but not in the normal way. you think you are the only person who can hear you. you are screaming on the inside, and sit still on the outside. that is what anxiety feels like for me.

[solpadeinedelusions]

i've had absolutely no motivation to do anything lately. luckily, i found myself a job as a tutor, and i'll finally make some money

i also got 67 in bio and 56 in chem (which are good scores in comparison to what the rest of my class got)

[kourota]

being a writer is just thinking that anything and everything is great writing material. people watching while you wait for your bus? writing material. experiencing something that's gonna scar you for life? writing material. getting chased by chickens and running for your life? writing material.

[antiquepearlss]

[creativity-deficient]

South Park fans! How many things do you have in common with your favorite character(s)? I’m curious!!

[me-beef]

A collection of Fell art I don't think I've ever posted before. This is all art I've made in the last year, those first pics being done in January/February-ish? It's been fun to see how much my art has developed since then :) So, something I'm sure I've mentioned before, I have RSD- or rejection sensitive dysphoria. For the last decade or so, it's controlled a large portion of my life and has dictated a lot of what I've been able to do. It used to be a lot worse- like, eating-lunch-alone-in-the-bathroom-everyday-at-school-because-I'd-have-a-panic-attack-if-I-tried-to-go-into-the-cafeteria type of bad. Or, having-a-panic-attack-because-a-girl-complimented-my-socks-and-I-was-CERTAIN-she-was-actually-implying-I-was-a-stupid-idiot-loser-baby type of bad. It's made it really hard to make friends and maintain relationships, because a part of my brain truly believes the people around me don't want me there, or that it's better for me to be quiet and out of the way than to risk doing something "wrong" and drawing the ire of everyone around me. It was something that I was really ashamed of for the longest time. I didn't understand what I was feeling or why I acted the way that I did, I just wanted everyone around me to be happy and I felt like I was doing everything wrong and making everything worse just by being present in any given situation.

So- what ended up working for me? How did I start moving forward? Years of counseling and therapy? Yeah. Medication? That too. But do you want to know what really ended up changing my life this year? I made a character to conceptualize and encapsulate all of my anxieties and traumas, took my condition, and made it her superpower. This is already getting long, so I'll add some bits about her character under the cut:

In a ⋆˙⟡dramatic⋆˙⟡ and ⋆˙⟡tragic⋆˙⟡ childhood event, Fell's heart was fused with a star. It sounds like a magical-girl dream- but for Fell, it's only ever been a curse. Whenever her emotions flare, she has an uncontrollable surge of magic. Sometimes, that wild magic can scare or even hurt the people around her. She's become terrified of her own emotions- and that fear only exacerbate her "curse". So, she isolates herself- not out of a fear of others, but out of a fear of hurting those around her. When I was a kid, there weren't really any characters out there that I felt like I could truly identify with. Sure, I've seen social anxiety addressed in media throughout my life, but nothing that I felt really captured the full complexities of what I was experiencing in my day-to-day. Plus, I feel like those characters rarely got to be the heroes of the story. So, all that to say, Fell is the hero that I wish I had gotten to have as a kid. Starlight Saga (working title), or Legends of ZahKol, is the story and world that I built around the lessons I've learned in my journey of overcoming my anxiety and RSD. I can't give that to my past self, but my dream is to one day share it with the world- for other people out there like me, to help them and give them hope and let them know how strong they really are for fighting day in and day out. That these parts of yourself don't mean you're broken or damaged or wrong- these are tied to the most resilient, most beautiful parts of who you are.

[xkriskrossx]

Idk why but I think this ship would be funny

An anxiety ridden introvert

And a chaotic crazy jester

Jevil X Pomni supremacy

[loganslowdown4]

Virgil: Don’t look at me like that.

Remus: Like what?

Virgil: Like I’m your everything.

Remus: I don’t know how else to look at you, Emo, checking you out is my favourite pastime. Next to sitting in traffic.

Virgil: *sigh* Dude, we’ve talked about this—

[sunshineandteddybears]

Holly Jolly Chaos

This is a gift for @edupunkn00b for the @sanderssidesgiftxchange

I hope you like it!

“Now we just need to add two cups of sugar-”

“What if we pour the whole sack in?” Patton paused from reading out the instructions and turned to look at Remus. The dark aspect wiggled his brows mischievously as he held up the bag in question. He even gave it a little shimmy shake. The representative of morality hummed thoughtfully.

“The recipe calls for two cups…. But I’m sure a little extra sugar won’t hurt right?”

“Incorrect!” Logan chimed in sternly. “That is by no means a ‘little extra’. That, Patton, is a four pound bag. That is roughly nine cups of sugar. That would be more than quadrupling the recommended amount.” The logical aspect adjusted his glasses as he regarded the other two. “Not to mention, that much sugar is extremely unhealthy.” Remus blew a raspberry. “Don’t be such a party pooper, Nerdy Wolverine.” A gleeful look overtook Dark Creativity right after. “Oooo, on second thought, you should totally p-”

“Look, Remus, a cactus covered in hot sauce just ran by.” 

“WHERE!?” Sugar was dropped onto the counter as the giddy duke dashed out of the kitchen. Janus smirked in triumph from where he had risen up through the floor. 

“That,” he drawled, examining his gloved fingers, “is how you handle Remus in the kitchen.” Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, did you have a better way of making sure he didn’t make us all sick?”

“I was handling it.” Janus chuckled at Logan’s response, his hands softly clapping together. 

“And I thought lying was my job.” The two faced aspect chuckled some more. Logan huffed in frustration, but turned to Patton instead. He held his hand out and Patton handed the recipe over with a pout. 

“Last I checked, you hadn’t had your kitchen privileges returned yet.” The logical being pointed out calmly. “I’ll take over sugar cookie baking. Janus, may I count on you to keep an eye on these two?”

A reptilian eye watched Patton carefully while a thoughtful hum left Deceit. “Hmmm, I ssssuposssse.” Janus walked over to the fatherly entity and looped their arms together. “Let’s grab that silly duke and go decorate the tree.” Patton perked up. “Okay!”

------

“Remus! Sit! Stay!” Classic christmas music played from the radio while the trio made the tree sparkle and shine. Remus had tangled himself in a spare string of lights, and Janus fought to free him. A task made more difficult because the duke did not wish for freedom. He hopped around, giggling maniacally, while the deceitful aspect chased after him. Patton hummed happily to himself as he wrapped a tinsel garland around the branches. 

“Okay, it’s ready for ornaments!” he declared with pep, moving towards the box that had his name labeled. All the sides had their own little box of special ornaments, so that the tree displayed a bit of each of them in harmony. Remus excitedly willed away the strands off his body and skipped over to his own box that had his messy handwriting spelling out his name with a backwards R. “Finally,” Janus grumbled, breathing heavily from all the running. The scaly aspect made his way to his own box, which was labeled ‘nothing to see here’, and pulled out silver and gold baubles and crystal icicles. Patton pulled out light blue snowflakes and various santa ornaments. Remus cackled as he pulled out- “Really now Remus?” Janus asked, raising an elegant eyebrow. “Ninja ssstars?”

“You said I couldn’t have the dookies on the tree this year!” The entity of intrusive thoughts moved onto the step ladder, standing upon it precariously with little regard for safety. He hung his deadly weapons with glee. “Pattycakes, grab my balls!” A snicker followed the demanded request, though Patton was none the wiser as he approached the box.

“Sure thing buddy!” The snickering increased as Patton grabbed the bright green baubles and brought them to Remus. The fatherly aspect chuckled along, his lips spreading into a wide smile as he passed the orbs one by one.

“What’s so funny?” Logan asked as he phased into the living room. 

“I have no idea.” Patton admitted, his smile still wide. He had simply been bitten by infectious laughter. The logical being looked to the snake-like chaperone, who simply shook his head in exasperation and divulged nothing. 

“Explaining will only encourage more.” 

Suddenly, a crash resounded as Remus toppled over on the step ladder, the tree falling with him. Patton yelped in concern, rushing to help him up. Only for himself to trip over the fallen step ladder and land on top of the Duke with an oomph. Remus groaned ambiguously before managing to push himself and Patton back up. Some of his shurikens impeded themselves into his chest. 

Logan sighed. “Let’s get you taken care of.”

“Psh.” Remus waved him off. “Tis only a flesh wound.” 

“If you’re going to quote Monty Python, at least commit to the bit,” Janus interjected, “Cut off your arm.”

“Oooooo great idea-” “Do NOT cut off your arm!” Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and silently counted to ten before he took Remus’ wrist and pulled him toward the hall. “I’ll take care of this while you two clean up and fix the tree.” 

When the ordeal of removing Hollywood Japanese weaponry from the Duke’s body was finally over with, taking up far too much time than necessary, the tree was back where it was meant to be and fully decorated with all the Sides’ ornaments. All done with the precision and harmony that the embodiment of logic had come to expect from Janus when it came to tree decorating. “Excellent work.” His watch beeped with the timer for the dough in the refrigerator. “And just in time. Let's cut out the cookies.” Janus raised a brow. “I thought you ssssaid you were taking over sugar cookie baking duty?” “That is correct.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “I’ve prepared the dough and I will be the one to place the cookies into the oven. However, I am under the impression that cutting out the shapes is for all to be involved in just as decorating is.” 

“Yes yes,” Janus followed after the trail of the other two sides, who had dashed eagerly back to the kitchen the moment Logan had said it was time to cut out the dough. 

-----

Patton glanced over thoughtfully at Remus’ decorated cookie pile, his brows furrowed. “Your holly is missing a couple leaves there,” he pointed out. The dark side giggled at him and shimmied as he shook his head.

“It’s not holly.” Patton’s confusion grew, looking over the shapes. There were two rounded spots frosted red and one long piece frosted green. 

“Then what-’ “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing,” Janus interjected. He placed a frosted snowman onto his own pile. “Remus is just being silly.” He reached for a candy cane shaped one and began to spread red stripes onto it. 

“Oh, okay.” Patton went back to his own decorating, spreading abundant multicolored sprinkles onto a tree shaped cookie. Then he added little candy pearls to look like beaded strings. With that done, he grabbed a Santa cookie. He hummed a little christmas tune as he spread red frosting on the hat and clothes. 

“Pattycakes, toss me a gumdrop!” The embodiment of Thomas’ feelings looked back to Remus, who drummed his fingers excitedly on the table. He opened his mouth wide like a baby bird. Patton chuckled and grabbed one of the green ones from the bowl.

“The gumdrops are for decorating,” Logan interjected, “and I don’t believe he’ll be able to-”

“Here it comes!” Patton threw the little candy like one would toss crumbled paper into a basket. It sailed across the table in a little arch and Remus managed to open his mouth a little wider as he angled his head. The gumdrop landed in his mouth and the dark side closed his lips in triumph. “Wooo! Two points!” 

“Again! Again!” The mustached aspect chanted, mouth muffled as he chewed the gummy candy. “No not again-”

“Here you go!” Another gummy flew in the air and successfully landed its target while Logan sighed heavily. Janus smirked and grabbed a gumdrop as well. His fellow dark side shimmied in excitement and turned his body just enough to face the two faced aspect. The candy was tossed up and caught triumphantly. 

“Will you stop!?” Logan demanded in exasperation. 

“You’re just jealous that I’m so good with my mouth.” Remus wiggled his brows. Logan scoffed in return, unimpressed. 

“Please, it’s hardly a talent to catch flying food with your mouth,” he remarked, adjusting his glasses. “It’s simple calculations of trajectory and relies more on the skill of the thrower.” 

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you give it a try then Nerdy Wolverine?” Remus grabbed a yellow gumdrop. “Put your money where your mouth is.” Logan scoffed again and rolled his eyes.

Crossing his arms, he regarded the matter. “I do not see what the point would be. It’s a childish activity.” The Duke made chicken noises and Logan’s eye began to twitch. “But very well, I shall prove that it is an easy feat.” A twinkle shined in murky brown eyes and Remus’s mustache twitched with glee. He lifted his hand as if to toss the gummy and Logan eyed the angle and moved his body to the most optimal position.

Just as the logical side opened his mouth, Remus used his other hand to grab a fistful of gumdrops and toss them with abandon. The change of tactics caught Logan by surprise, his face flinching as it was pummeled by a variety of colored gumdrops. Remus shrieked with laughter, clutching his sides as he tipped his chair dangerously back.

Anger rose within the logical being. On impulse, better befitting the embodiment of Intrusive Thoughts, he grabbed a handful himself and threw it with viscous accuracy. Remus shrieked again out of surprise, tipping further in his chair until he fell back entirely. Silence followed. Logan breathed heavily as he slowly registered what he had done. “I-I’m sorr-” “FOOD FIGHT!” Remus rose back up, seemingly unaffected, and grabbed a finished cookie. 

“Don’t you dare use my masterpiece-” Janus hissed in warning, but it went ignored. Remus threw the cookie back at Logan, who dodged in the nick of time. With a cry of fury, the lying side grabbed one of the other’s cookies and smashed it against Remus’s face. 

Patton quietly gathered as many cookies as he could onto a platter, smiling all the while as the other three threw confections at one another. 

-----

“Hey guys, we’re back,” Virgil greeted the gang as he and Roman rose up in the living room. Heavily bagged eyes scanned the area, whistling low at how nice and festive everything looked. “Wow, it’s like Christmas threw up in here.” 

“My stars, the tree looks magnificent!” Roman remarked, moving towards the great pine he had conjured up for the group before he and Nightmare Before Christmas had gone to shoot an episode with Thomas. “Are those ninja stars?”

“Those are Remus’ replacement from the banned ornaments of last year,” Janus replied, lounging on the couch as if he had not a care in the world.

“What’s on your face?” Virgil smirked as he rose a brow at the smudge of green on the non scaly side of the other’s face. 

“Nothing,” came the smooth lie, “What’s on yours? Surely the video isn’t so horrible as to cause you to become even more raccoon-like?” Virgil opened his mouth to retort, but gagged as Patton appeared with a platter of cookies and shoved one into his mouth.

“I saved you boys some cookies!” Morality chirped merrily. He offered the platter to Roman, who happily looked over the options. 

“The holly cookies are missing some leaves,” he pointed out. Remus broke out into a fit of giggles from behind the couch and Logan rolled his eyes. 

“Apparently,” Patton explained, though it was clear he was still confused on the matter himself. “Those aren’t holly.”

[surrah698]

[solpadeinedelusions]

I GOT INTO AN ENGINEERING PROGRAM FOR HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS OMG I'M OFFICIALLY A WOMAN IN STEM‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

(translation: hello! I am pleased to inform you that you have qualified..)

the next line obviously reveals the program which i would like to keep private as it is rather personal information

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What's your opinion on malewife/house husband Adrien posts? I asked this to another blog, and like I said to them, I find them a guilty pleasure: The concept is cute, but I know that would be the last thing Adrien would ever wanna be after all his dad put him through.

I don't think that it would be the last thing that Adrien would ever want. I actually think it suits his character in a lot of ways, you just have to handle the topic with care.

First let's talk about why it suits him.

Miraculous has totally failed to give Adrien any sort of career-based passion and - if we ignore the senti complication - I honestly love that for him! I want more characters with no major life ambitions to balance out the Marinettes of the world!

I think that society places way too much pressure and value on finding the perfect career that fulfills us in every way while also allowing us to put food on the table. Most people will never find that and that's okay. It doesn't mean that you've failed or that you're lesser. For most people, the goal is to find a career that pays the bills and that you enjoy enough that you don't hate doing it 40hrs/week. Along similar lines, for most people, your passion will be something that doesn't make money. It will be something like a hobby or spending time with those you love or analyzing badly written French TV shows.

This brings us back to Adrien.

Adrien seems to get a great deal of joy from being around his loved ones and making them happy, so I can absolutely picture him finding a lot of joy in running a home. This is extra true because Marinette is pretty clearly career driven and she's planning to go into a creative field, so she'll probably have a pretty crazy schedule and struggle to stay on top of it all. Having a loving husband to take things like cooking and cleaning off of her plate would be a blessing and a gift that she'd greatly appreciate, but that would feel unbalanced if Adrien was working, too. (Yes, they could hire staff, but that risks the secret identity thing, so I don't see them doing that.)

If they both have power careers, then they'd barely see each other and I hate that for them. I think that it would make Adrien incredibly sad and depressed. Plus, while Marinette thrives off of competition and staying busy, only needing occasional breaks before diving right back in, Adrien seems to hate busy schedules and heavy work loads.

Given all of that, I think that there's a lot to be said for Adrien stepping away from the working world. Especially since he's been in it for years and being a child celebrity is no joke! I think it would be nice for him to escape from strict schedules and expectations. Dinner fails? Order takeout!

While we're on the topic of food, I really like the idea of Adrien falling in love with cooking. Dude needs a creative outlet and that's honestly a great one (I hate it when people write characters as unable to figure out cooking like it's some cute quirk. While an initial struggle is believable, it's not a mystical art that takes years of practice. Between YouTube, the wider Internet, and maybe some classes if he wants to get fancy, I think that he'll be fine.) There's so much variety with what you can do in the kitchen and the end result gets to be shared and appreciated by those you love. It just seems like a perfect fit for him, but I would never make him a professional chef because the hours are insane and the pressure to be perfect is high. I only see him loving it as a hobby where he can go at his own pace, take days off, and make lazy meals when he's not feeling like being a show off.

The big concerns that come with making him a homemaker are a lack of financial independence and a lack of socialization. I don't see the first thing as an issue for Adrien since he comes from a wealthy family, so that one doesn't phase me.

The isolation could very easily be an issue, but it could just as easily be a problem if he started working, too. It's not as if a job is a sure way to have friends or even just consistent positive social interactions, which is another reason why I don't really see a need to give him a traditional job. You can get a vibrant social life in lots of other ways.

Here are the two big things that I keep in mind when writing an Adrien-as-a-homemaker or similar setup as it is where I tend to have Adrien land for all of the above reasons:

Adrien needs to be active in some organization or project. Volunteer work is a good fit as is being an active stay-at-home parent or some combination of the two. Voice acting is also on my radar, but my default is to have him act as the head of team miraculous' out-of-battle activities. Scheduling meet and greets. Going to see sick kids. Jetting around the world for humanitarian aid missions. Basically let Chat Noir be his "career" which gives him a lot of much needed flexibility for making his own schedule, especially if he's a stay-at-home parent to any eventual kids. I also like the poetic nature of Adrien finally being proud to be the face of a "brand" via his hero side while his civilian side becomes just some guy that people kind of remember from old ads.

Consider having a non-traditional living arrangement. I am a big fan of hero teams living together, so my default is to take the Agreste mansion and remodel it into a secret HQ for the team. Adrien and Marinette would have their own apartment/wing/whatever, but they'd still be surrounded by their found family on a near-daily basis, so that social isolation is the last thing on Adrien's mind. There's almost always someone to hang out with! You could also just have Alya and Nino or other friends live in the same apartment building so that they're over a lot/Adrien has a place to hang when Marinette is working late because you know that she'd do that.

Basically, Adrien's rich, so he doesn't need to make money and he doesn't seem to have any interest in a normal job, so I really like letting him having a unique life where he doesn't have a traditional job. He is a superhero, after all. Unique career paths are pretty par for the course. You just have to be careful to make sure that all of this feels like his fully informed and carefully considered choice and not like you forced it on him to make Marinette's life perfect (I only brought her up earlier because this is a story and it makes sense to design characters around each other). I usually do this by sending Adrien to therapy in his late teens or by giving him some other parth of self discovery.

Do note that all of the above is inspired by my read of Adrien which may be totally different from your read of him and that's fine! I just can't picture him as someone who thrives in a traditional career path based on knowing people who strike me as similar to him and from whom I draw my understanding of how to write that part of Adrien's character. I think that he'd be perfectly able to have a traditional career path, but I also think that he'd be pretty miserable for a lot of reasons.

I'll also note that I'm not sure what posts spawned this ask, so there may be elements of those that I'd have criticisms of. This post was about the general concept of Adrien being a homemaker. I tend to avoid the broader fandom for my own sanity and the use of the term "malewife" has me concerned that I'm implying support of something I wouldn't actually support because that's a new one for me and it sounds incredibly sexist.

I'm not a fan of implying that the default definition of "wife" is "submissive homemaker" so a man taking on a homemaking role is clearly submissive and acting like a woman does while his aggressive, domineering wife is acting like a man, which is the definition of this word that I'm finding online and yikes! Wife and husband are legal/social status in my book. They are not clearly defined jobs/roles/personality types, so I'm not a fan of using gendered terms to refer to stuff like this especially since I do actively try to use gender neutral words in my own writing whenever I can, though I'm certainly far from perfect on that front.

I also don't see homemaking as a submissive act. It certainly can be, but that's not how I picture Adrien at all! I picture him as relaxed and plesent, but 100% in charge of the home and all choices about how it's run. I also see him being in charge of their finances like homemakers often were in the "old days" since they were the ones in charge of things like scheduling cleaners, buying food, and other things that needed strong budgeting skills while the person who worked wasn't actually spending money or managing the home since they were at work. I like to think that Nathalie would prep Adrien to be a wealthy man and so he'd have strong skills in finance management.