#cause as usual when I google my problems

[wormk1n]

Cw food issues

Google is not helping and I don’t know anyone irl who can help so I turn to tumblr I fuckin guess does anyone know if there are therapists who do like, food issues? Like not necessarily ED specifically but like, I think I have like a fear of food? Idk how to even put it into words like I can’t physically can’t force myself to eat anything that isn’t one of my safe foods and I really don’t wanna live like this anymore how to pay someone to fix that

[huuuuughes]

First Time Feeling - Mat Barzal x Reader

Pairing: Mat Barzal x Fem!Reader

Word count: 6.4k

Warnings: so much fluff, did i go overboard? maybe lol

A/N: this was my first time participating in a fic exchange and i honestly had so much fun. this is for the summer fic exchange 2k24 hosted by the lovely @wyattjohnston. it is written for the also fantastic @ahockeywrites! i am your friendly neighborhood exchange writer. i hope you enjoy it as much as i did writing it!

also i used google translate for the french. pls dont come for me if its not right im doing my best

It’s that time of year, when hockey pauses and every hockey player you know has a wedding because they scarcely get to have them in season. Growing up a coach's daughter, you were not unfamiliar with NHL weddings, and it meant your best friends were other kids from the organization your dad was in at the time. Now that you were getting to be that age it meant everyone you knew was having weddings.

Except you.

You were the one single person remaining in the bridal party for your best friend. Everyone did their best to try and include you without making it feel like third wheeling but sometimes it felt like that anyway. It wasn’t like they could help it and you were always happy for them. Weddings just seemed to rub salt in a wound now. Being alone scared you more than a lot of things. Which is why you were taking this bachelorette weekend to let loose and have fun. At least more than you usually let yourself. Your ability to do shots at a fast pace and without hesitation got you to that buzzed feeling a little too quickly.

But everyone was having fun. The band that was playing for the bar was insanely good and every song kept making you wanna dance. You managed to drag a few of your friends out onto the dance floor with you and it was the first time you felt free in a very long time.

“We’re gonna go get a drink, do you want something?!” Hannah attempts to yell over the volume of the music.

“YEAH, just water is good! Thanks!” You didn’t want to leave the dance floor- you were having a really good time. You let the music be your happy place for the moment, forgetting any problem you had before coming in the door. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a trio of men looking at you. And then you have to do a double take, because you’d just seen those same 3 men at the previous bar, and the one before that…

Moving to a different spot on the dance floor didn’t seem to help. Hannah still wasn’t back from the bar and you were starting to think that these creeps were trying to form some kind of blockade. It was unsettling, but your usual fears were blurred by the alcohol that was currently coursing through your veins. You had forgotten there was a reason you didn’t like to drink that often. Then there was a tap on your shoulder, and as you turned around one of them was right there.

“You wanna dance sweetheart?” He screamed in your ear.

“No thanks! Just waiting for a friend!”

“I don’t see that friend anywhere right now, why don’t you want to dance?” Attempting to get closer to you, he moved forward causing you to back up into a stranger. Another one of his friends, you discovered, once you saw the first one smirk like there was some kind of inside joke that you weren’t in on.

“I said no.”

“That’s not what that outfit says.”

“Get away from me you fucking creep.” Your voice was firm, attempting to just go back to having fun. You closed your eyes, trying to let the music flow through you again. When you opened them there was yet another man coming at you, but this one didn’t feel threatening. He looked familiar, like you had maybe seen him before in passing. You couldn’t place it sober, and you definitely couldn’t in the current state you were in. He was making a beeline for you, pushing the first creep out of his way and almost onto the ground.

“Holy shit babe, there you are!You, my love, are too drunk! Time to go home!” Before you knew it he was reaching for your waist and your feet were no longer touching the ground. He throws you over his shoulder like you were nothing but a paper weight. Instead of the panic you should have felt, you relaxed over him. You didn’t fight the motion, it felt good to just stop for a moment. But then you realized that you really didn’t know who this was either and you just let a strange man pick you up and carry you out of the dance floor area.

“UM YEA HI, WHO ARE YOU?” You attempted to yell at him but the music was still loud. He either didn’t hear you or chose not to respond because you didn’t receive a response.

“Excuse me! Sir! I demand to know who you are please!”

Still nothing from him. He was like a big brick wall.

“JUST BECAUSE I'M SMALL DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN JUST MAN HANDLE ME.”

But then you were on the ground again. It had felt like years before he set you down again but when he did you were once again reunited with your friends. You finally had a chance to get a good look at the stranger who carried you. He was definitely over six feet tall, and was honestly the hottest man you’d ever seen in your life. His eyes were a soft brown color that you could almost drown in. His hair was also brown, and fell in different directions all over his head. The expression on his face was a neutral one, but you felt drawn to him.

“Girl holy shit, why didn’t you tell us those creeps were still following you?!”

“Stop shouting at him babe, you are FINE!”

“You guys failed to mention your friend was such a chatterbox when she’s intoxicated.” The man laughed, but you could barely focus on anything with the way the world seemed to be swaying about.

“Thanks so much Mat, for rescuing our friend. She’s kind of key to the wedding festivities this weekend.”

“No problem. I hope your night gets better from here. Tell Coach I said hi. Maybe I��ll see you this weekend ladies.” He winked, like he knew he was going to but was just saying that to be clever. He looked like he felt accomplished about your frustrated state. As if he found it cute or endearing that you were so small yet had so much anger.

“You know she’s single Mat!” One of your friends interjected. And with that the handsome stranger who now had a name walked off and out of the bar, and you wondered who his friends were. You watched as a smile broke out on his face again, as if he was thinking hard about the proposition just said to him.

“Have a safe night ladies.” He lifted his head in a nod and you watched him walk out of the bar and out of your sight.

Everyone in your group had also decided that they had enough for the night and you booked it back to your hotel. The wedding was in 2 days, and the rehearsal dinner is tomorrow evening. Tonight was the last night to let loose and perhaps you had come too loose.

The next morning…

Your head was pounding. Opening your eyes was a no go, the light too painful to look at. It was like your entire head was pulsing. Liquor should definitely not be mixed with any other type of alcohol, you thought.

“WAKEY WAKEY BITCH, UP AND AT EM!” The bride came into your room, clearly more ready to tackle the day than you were.

“Oh my god Hannah. STOP YELLING. My head is killing me…” you groaned.

“Oh I know, I was there too, bestie. I’ve brought Tylenol and water, and there’s breakfast in my room. Oh and here’s some sunglasses. Those might help for a bit.” She thrust all of the items in your arms and helped you sit up without dying.

“Come on, we have a bridal party meeting, maid of honor!”

You loved Hannah, you really did, but if she didn’t lower her volume you thought your head might explode. After a quick shower, some meds, and an outfit change you were ready for the bridal party meeting there was to be had. When you walked into the room it was a mixture of excitement and groaning. All of the bridesmaids looked like they’d been through it, but the groomsmen were relaxed. The groom had his party a few weeks ago, just in case any shenanigans ensued.

“There she is!”

That voice. You knew that voice…God why did you know that voice?

You almost dropped the plate of food in your hands. When you turned around the shock of who it was rendered you speechless. It was the man who carried you across the bar last night. The man you thought you’d never see again after that embarrassing spectacle you’d caused. The memory was slowly coming back to you, and you really, really hoped there wasn’t video evidence.

“Good to see you survived your journey home.” He smirked.

“Wait! Do you know Mat?!” Clutterbuck asked. You knew Cal from your dad’s years in the league. You knew most of the people in the room, but Mat had been a pretty private guy. You didn’t really know much about him other than he was damn good at hockey and had pretty nice eyes. Since you only knew him in passing, you had never heard him talk much and drunk, you definitely did not recognize him. You felt like the blood had entirely drained from your face all you could think of was how quickly you could get out of that room.

“Apparently I do.” Your eyes tried to stay fixed on the ground as the meeting got started. It was basically just going over who was going to walk down the aisle with who and what everyone’s entrances would be for the reception.

“So, you’ll be with Mat. You guys good with that?” You locked eyes with your best friend. You knew exactly what she was doing. She was trying to play matchmaker without even asking you first. How would she even know if he was your type?

“I mean I-,” You stammered.

“Yeah, it sounds great to me.”

Finally you had to look at him. Of course he would say that, maybe he was in on it, you were being tortured by all of your friends. You had to begin lining up to practice, making sure you didn’t fall flat on your face and embarrass the bride. They all knew him, there was definitely an underlying motive. You had a feeling it was because they didn’t want everyone to pair up and you were left by yourself. It was a nice gesture, but being filled in would have felt nice so you did not in fact have a strange man picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder in a bar.

Being the maid of honor, you were last in the order to go. You waited patiently in the back of the line, the only one who was not linked in arms with their partner. Mat offered his arm to you, attempting to show some good will.

“You gonna take it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“No.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about last night. Your friends told me to come get you by whatever means necessary so that is what I did.”

“So you decided the only way was to pick me up with no warning? Who taught you to do that?” You threw your arms up in the air almost in defeat, you didn’t know what to make of what he did. You may have been drunk but you were never going to forget looking down at the ground when being carried across the room.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.” He shrugged and still somehow managed to look smug. He knows what he’s doing, and he definitely thought that he was being charming by doing so.

“I want you to tell me why you did that! All you had to do was grab my hand and lead me away!” You’d had enough of his games. You were going to get some answers before the night was over and done with.

“They all seem to know you, but I don’t. Why is that?” You had turned to face him, staring him down in order to get him to crack. It was almost your turn. You’d run into a slight issue when the bride decided she wanted to switch up the order of things before the honors of maid of honor and best man. All this meant was more time to get him to crack, which if he had known any better, would not take you very long. His resolve was weakening, and quickly.

“I’ve been around. You just haven’t noticed me.”

“I think I would have noticed you.” It would be hard to miss someone as pretty as he was. Did you really just admit that? Your dad hadn’t been with the Islanders for several years, but you still knew who most of the team was. Based on what you had managed to Google on the walk from the meeting to the present rehearsal location was that he was a pretty damn good hockey player.

“I don’t think so sweetheart. Your friends have told me all about you too, you know.”

“Oh yeah? What did they tell you?” You were almost angry but didn’t know why.

“Well for starters they just want you to be happy. They know you haven’t been happy for a little while now.” He smiled at you, and you tried not to melt in response. The way your body reacted so physically to him when all he did was smile was not something that you could ignore.

“And what else?” You prompted.

“My last relationship was some time ago, and let’s just say it didn’t end that well. They’ve noticed I haven’t been happy either.”

“You look happy to me.”

“Looks can be deceiving. The cameras and the media pick up only what they want to see.” This time he didn’t meet your eye. Which told you everything you needed to know. You would never understand how strangers and the media thought they knew someone just by what you see them do as an athlete. As if they don’t have personal lives or things that are important to them. Your suspicions were confirmed, but not in the way you thought. Of course your friends wanted to set you up with someone. Not to be funny or to try and make a joke, but they hated to see you so unhappy. Things were starting to make a little more sense.

“So you knew their motives?” You asked, feeling bad about how you had sort of gone at him without knowing why. You couldn’t undo the years of crappy guys that you had to deal with in the past, but now you could learn to give Mat a better chance.

“Partially. I knew they wanted to set me up with someone, but I don’t enjoy the anxiety of blind dates. They didn’t want me to say anything to you- they wanted to protect you. Based on your reaction I’m guessing you don’t enjoy surprises either.”

“Correct. So what would you like to do about this?” You asked, hopeful.

“I think we should see where the weekend takes us, and go from there. How���s that sound?”

You hoped that he couldn’t see the blush starting to appear in your cheeks. Your friends did this on purpose. They wouldn’t just set you up with some hockey player they didn’t know or trust, they knew he had to be vetted first. They also knew that you wouldn’t just take being set up with someone due to your stubbornness, so this was the only way they knew how to get to you.

“I’d like that.” His smile was infectious and you could feel yourself reciprocating.

Once the rehearsal dinner was figured out, the rest of the evening seemed to go as planned. Most importantly, the bride was happy. You noticed Mat across the room, smiling at you. You were alone at the bar, and watched him excuse himself from the conversation he was having to walk your direction.

“You wanna get out of here?” It was almost a whisper, so only you could hear it. You looked around the room to make sure that your absence wouldn’t be noticed.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You took the hand that he offered you and followed him out of the room. His car was already waiting, the perks of having the wedding on Long Island was a lot of the wedding guests already lived in the area.

“I feel like a teenager sneaking out when I’m not supposed to!” He held the door open for you as you slid in, and he climbed into the driver’s seat, “Where are you taking me sir?”

The sun was starting to set, making the sky an orangish pink color. It was like all of the colors of the sky melting together, painting a beautiful scene that no camera could ever do justice. He reached over and grabbed your hand as he began to drive. It looked like he was going nowhere in particular, and he squeezed your hand gently. You appreciated a first move when you saw one, it took the anxiety out of the way and you instantly felt more relaxed around him.

“There’s somewhere I want to show you. It’s not that far from here, is that okay?” You nodded. According to maps, the destination was only a few miles away. It was almost dark out, but not quite. The sun rested quietly in the sky, hovering just above the skyline ready to disappear. Mat still held your hand in his, gently squeezing every so often as if to reassure you of something but you weren’t quite sure what yet. When you arrived at your destination, there wasn’t another car to be seen. The only sound came from a distance, and then you looked around.

“Where are we?” You asked.

“Crescent Beach. I used to come here a lot when I first came to New York. The city can be overwhelming sometimes, but out here you can actually hear yourself think. The sunset’s here are something to behold, I’ve heard.” He held out his hand for you to take, and led you on to the beach. He had already grabbed two blankets from his trunk. You laughed a little bit, you always kept blankets and towels in the back of your car just in case too.

“It looks like we’re just in time for sunset.” Mat laid down one of the blankets on the sand. You were close enough to the water to be able to smell it, but not close enough that the tide could touch you. He placed the other blanket over the two of you, sitting down beside you after you got comfortable.

“The sky looks beautiful right now. I would have never thought a sunset in Long Island could look like this!” You closed your eyes for a second, taking in the smell of the ocean and the sound of the waves. It was the peace you were looking for during the wedding weekend.

“New York can be beautiful when it wants to be. You just have to know where to look.”

“I like to think that whenever there is a sunset this beautiful, it’s just someone you lost saying hello. Like a little wave from the sky, you know?” You asked him. He nodded, looking out across the horizon. “Tell me about you Mat.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Why did our friends want to set you up with someone?” You were curious.

“I’d been on and off with someone for a long time. It was unhealthy for me, and for anyone to be around me. Let’s just say I wasn’t always the most pleasant person. I want to start a family one day. With as much as players can move around, my home is with a person. Not a place or anything like that, if that makes any sense at all.”

“I was the same way with my dad. We moved around every few years, it felt like I could never really put down roots in one place.”

“What’s your favorite color?” He asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What does my favorite color have to do with anything?”

“It says a lot about a person to me.”

“You’re a little strange, has anyone ever told you that?” You both laughed, his was infectious.

“Just answer the question!”

You tell him your favorite color, smiling.

“Don’t you want to know what mine is?” He asked.

“Tell me.”

“It’s blue.”

“Like Islanders blue?”

“Any blue, but right now, blue like the ocean.” The breeze started to blow hard, quickly reminding you that you were in fact in New York, not a beach somewhere tropical. Mat was good at making you feel like you were somewhere else but in a good way.

“Tell me something else about you Mr. Barzal.”

“Is this 20 questions or something?”

“It is now!” You playfully smacked his thigh, you were so close together it wouldn’t take much for you to lean in and kiss him.

“Tes yeux sont les plus beaux que j'ai jamais vus.” You could tell he was speaking French just from the way he changed his accent. Since when could this beautiful man speak french?!

“You can speak french?”

“A hobby of mine, you could say.” From the way the words flowed out of his mouth, you knew it wasn’t just a hobby.

“What did you say?” You turned to look at him, slightly shorter so that you had to look up to look at each other. Everything else seemed to disappear behind him. There could have been roars of people around you, but you wouldn’t have been able to hear them. It was true what they said, when you found the right person it was like everything else melted away.

“I said you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.” You couldn’t even attempt to hide the blush you could feel forming in your cheeks.

“Is that how you get all the ladies?” You managed to speak finally, after gaining your composure again. But your voice was quiet, like you didn’t want to know the answer.

“Tu es le seul que je veux.” His forehead came to rest against yours. You could feel his hot breath against your face, lighting the nerves in your body on fire.

“Tell me what you said.” You breathed out, trying to catch your breath as if it had been taken from you.

“You are the only one I want.”

“Okay.” You didn’t know why you were saying it. But he seemed to know why, and crashed his lips against yours. His hand came up to cup the back of your head, bringing you as close to him as you could get. The ocean breeze no longer seemed to matter as you began exploring each other’s bodies. He pulls you onto his lap, wrapping the blanket around you in one fluid motion. His lips tasted slightly of whiskey and chocolate, inviting and warm. Warmth blossomed in your chest, like you wanted to be engulfed in each other. You could feel his hands wanting to go under your shirt, and you nodded into the kiss to let him know that it was okay.

You pulled back just for a moment to catch your breath, but not letting your forehead leave his. You were breathing hard against each other as one, in sync already after the slightest touch. His eyes told you everything you needed to know, and you felt safe in his arms. Mat placed his hands on either side of your face, allowing you to feel just how much the moment meant to him. To him, he was holding his world in his hands and now he never wanted to let you go. His next kiss felt like fireworks, and now you knew what it felt like when people said they never wanted something to end. A kiss like the two of your lives depended on it, and you wanted to get lost in him. His kisses were soft at first and increased in intensity every time you drew back for a breath. You wanted more, you wanted all of him.

He breathed your name, realizing that it was in fact now dark outside. The only light came from the street lights in the parking lot and the small flashlight Mat had brought from his car. He brought you in for a hug against him, tucking your head into the nape of his neck. You fit there perfectly, and the smell of his cologne engulfed all of your senses.

“We should probably head back to the hotel.” He whispered, but didn’t make any moves to let go of you.

“Maybe…”

“That doesn’t mean we have to be alone tonight.” He squeezed you, the reassurance washing over you. You nod, and get up off the ground. Mat shakes off the blankets, trying to get rid of as much sand as possible. But you knew that there would be sand all over you for days, in places you never think sand would end up. He got you settled in the car, placing the supplies back where he got them from. Once back in the car, he took your hand once more and you drove quietly back to the hotel.

“Where do we go from here?” You asked.

“I like you.” Another hand squeeze. You didn’t know what to say back to him, too afraid that anything would scare him off just like the other guys you’d dated. “You don’t have to say it back yet, I just didn’t want this night to end without telling you that. When I know I want something, I won’t stop until I can have it. If you’ll let me, that is.”

“What about tonight?” He didn’t answer you, but that was okay. It was unspoken, hanging in the air like a cloud, but you knew you weren’t going to be alone that night. Or the rest of the weekend, if Mat had anything to say about it. Arriving back at the hotel, Mat handed his keys off to the valet and led you inside.

“Is there anything you need to get from your room?” He asked once in the elevator.

“Not that I can think of.”

“Good.” Once the elevator doors opened to his floor, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder once again. But this time you were more than okay with it. He had to set you down in order to open his room, but picked you up again once you were inside. He laid you down on the freshly laundered bed, throwing your shoes across the room and his along with them. You crawled under the covers together, and all he did was hold you. There were the occasional make out sessions throughout the night, but nothing more. He told you about his childhood and growing up playing hockey, and you told him about the life of being a coach's daughter.

He told you about the way he likes his eggs cooked, his pregame rituals, and all the movies he liked to watch. You talked about anything and everything that came to mind, eventually falling asleep in his arms. When you woke up it didn’t feel strange, it felt like you were supposed to be there. The morning after was always an awkward moment, falling over your words and trying to sneak out without the other person noticing. There was no sneaking out this time, instead you woke up with a kiss from Mat being planted on the top of your head.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He whispered, kissing around your neck and cheeks as much as he could.

“It’s wedding day today.” You smiled, you were excited to get your best friend in the world down the aisle. In helping her find her happiness, you had also managed to find some of yours.

“I’m guessing you have to go soon?” He asked, looking down at you.

“Well I am the maid of honor you know, I think someone will notice if I’m not there.”

“But what if I told you I just wanted to hold you all day instead?” He smirked. The hold that this man already had over you..

“What if I told you, that starting tomorrow you never had to let go of me again?” He sat up quickly and looked down at you.

“You mean it?”

“Well I don’t just spend the night with anyone, Mathew. I think our friends might just be right…” You smiled, he came down to kiss you so fast you didn’t even know what hit you. Was it crazy to rush into something so fast? Maybe. But did it feel right? Absolutely. You’d read all the romance novels of quick relationships, always telling yourself it wasn’t actually like that. Those were just fairy tales you could read about, nothing like that would ever happen in real life.

It took a little more convincing for him to actually let you get out of bed and go to the bridal suite where everyone was getting ready. Of course he had to be with the grooms party, but somehow it never took guys quite as long to get ready.

“Are you sure you have to go right now?” He asked once he pulled away from you. You didn’t want to get out of the nice comfy bed with a pretty man laying in it but duty called.

“Yessss, do you think you’ll be able to survive without me for a few hours?” You started to throw off the covers, but he pulled you back in.

“No, I don’t actually. I might just lay here and cry all day!” You laughed, knowing that both the bride and groom would come for him but let him pretend.

“You’ll be fine, I promise. If you let me go, I’ll let you grab my butt when we dance later.”

“DEAL!” One more quick kiss, and you were finally able to get up. One wave goodbye as you opened the door to leave, and you were off. You had to stop by your own room to get your dress and makeup, and then it was off to the bridal suite. You were surprisingly one of the first ones to arrive, and were able to eat a little bit of breakfast for once. Everyone in the bridal party got to choose their own dress as long as it was within the color palette, and yours was your favorite shade of blue. It fits you in all of the right places, just the way that it should. The bride paid for everyone’s hair to be done, and once everyone was all finished getting ready it was time to take pictures of the bridal party. The photographer seemed to be on her A-game, and for once things were running on time in your life. Anthony already gone to take his place

Finally you got to have a moment just you and your best friend on her big day. The day both of you had talked about since you were kids, the one that you spent planning on pinterest for hours without even a thought of someone in the picture.

“Hannah… you look stunning! I hope today is everything you ever dreamed it would be. I can’t wait to see the look on Anthony’s face when he sees you today. I’ll still beat him up if he ever hurts you though. Are you ready?”

“Have I told you I love you yet today?”

“I love you too girl. Let’s get you married!” Each bridesmaid had their groomsman, and you took your place at the end. Mat walked around the corner and paused when he saw you, stopping him dead in his tracks.

“You like something you see sir?” He offered up his arm for you to take once he made his way to you.

“Tu es le seul que je veux.” He repeated his words from last night, kissing your cheek.

“Me too.” You’d learn how to say it in french, one day at least.

Of course there wasn’t a dry eye in the house after the ceremony. After all of the guests made their way to the reception hall and the rest of the wedding party photos were taken, the evening seemed to go rather smoothly. You may or may not have felt Mat’s hand graze across your butt a few times during pictures, but you kindly reminded him that he wasn’t allowed to feel your butt until you got to dance. He acted like you were torturing him though, depriving him of a dream.

You wanted to get your wedding mingling out of the way first, so that you could enjoy the night with who you wanted. It did not go without notice that Mat’s eyes were following you around the room in a very flirty kind of way. You hadn’t felt like this in a really long time, like you could relax because you were finally comfortable with someone.

“Hey bestie, how is your night going?” Hannah found her way over to you, and more of your friends noticed. You recognized what was happening, they wanted to get all of the dirty details about you and Mat. Of course their plan was successful, but you were also a proud individual. All of them were smiling a little too big at you, asking without actually asking.

“I know what you’re trying to do here!” You accused her.

“Don’t waste time woman, we wanna know! How’s it going with Mat?” Hannah asked.

“I saw you going into his room last night!”

“We know you two snuck off last night, don’t even lie.”

“Where did he take you! Was it romantic?”

“One question at a time!” You were only one person after all, “It’s still very new, we just met this weekend.”

“That smile doesn’t lie sweetie.” You were a bad liar and they knew it.

“Okay fine. Yes we snuck off last night, yes I was in his room but we didn’t do anything but talk and make out, he took me to a beach, and yes it was romantic! Now if you don’t mind, I promised my man a dance and that he could touch my butt. I always keep my promises!”

“YOUR MAN?”

You ran before they could question you further, right towards Mat, who held his arms open for you. Hiding things was never your strong suit, so you two had decided to not even bother.

“They look like you just told them the world is going to end tonight, what happened?” He asked, bringing you into his arms for all the world to see. Clearly he was ready to make everyone aware you were an item, and you weren’t going to object.

“I called you my man, and then immediately walked away.” You smiled up at him.

“Oh you did?”

“Yes sir.”

“I guess that does leave us with the big question.”

“What question?”

“What are we going to do with us? Did this weekend make you want to see me again?” Great opportunities rarely presented themselves at your doorstep. Mat had treated you better in the last 24 hours than a lot of people and you already knew your loved ones approved. It felt right, your gut always had a good feeling about these things. It would always be fun to tell the grandkids you met at a wedding, you’d tell them the part about the bar when they were old enough.

“I said you were my man, did I not?”

“Well you did keep me waiting ma’am, that’s a criminal offense. I’m not sure if I’m your man yet.” He said through a smile.

“Oh is that so?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Nah I’m just fuckin with you, I’ve been dying to kiss you all night.” He brought his hands up to cup either side of your face, and kissed you in a way that shouldn’t be in the middle of your best friends wedding reception.

“You don’t want to touch my butt?” You ask when you finally pull apart.

“Of course I do, but if I touch your butt right now we would be leaving this party within the next few minutes and I believe we both have important things to do.” He whispered in your ear, giving him a look. A look that said I know you want to take my clothes off right now, so I’m going to do my best to tease you. After pulling away, Mat offered you his hand for the dance you had promised.

Standing in the middle of the dance floor with him, while looking at your surroundings and seeing how happy your best friend was, kind of hit you like a sack of bricks. A few years ago if someone had told you this was where your life would end up, you’d have called them crazy. You felt him kiss your forehead as you danced, and you felt yourself melt into him a little. You had no defenses against him, your walls suddenly disappeared when he was near. If he was out of your sight, suddenly the world wasn’t as clear anymore. Maybe summer wasn’t just a time for flings, because this one felt different. Who would have thought just one summer weekend could be so life changing.

........

Half a summer and one year later…

You couldn’t believe you were standing where you were. Summer was starting to become your favorite season. The only thing that brought you back down to earth was the squeeze you felt on your hand from your new husband. The look of reassurance on his face told you all that you needed to know, that he loved you and that you’d be fine. Crowds weren’t always your thing, even if it was your own wedding.

“You ready?”

He knew the timing of your entrance better than anyone, and you could hear Tito start to speak from the other side of the door. The doors opened, blinding you with light. You felt one last squeeze, and then your brain managed to get your feet to start moving again.

“My friends, it is my honor and great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time… MR. AND MRS. MATHEW BARZAL!”

[shurisasthmaticgf]

wait a damn minute: max verstappen x black fem! reader

summary: in the midst of the biggest worldwide IT outage you realize your name has come up at the worst time possible

author's note: i wrote this on friday when the entire thing happened, i thought i posted it but turns out it was camped out in my drafts still. this is my first max fic so i hope it's an enjoyable read! feedback and comments are always appreciated and highly encouraged, i like to know what you all think of my work!

warnings: google translated dutch

the hungarian grand prix was only days away and you couldn't wait to surprise your boyfriend with a visit. it killed you to miss his races but you'd recently been promoted to a new position in your company which required more days in office than remote. you'd managed to balance work and personal life pretty well but when you weren't missing due to your new job, you had something else happen last minute. finally, after weeks of working long hours on end in an office, you were in the clear to start remote working more frequently.

you managed to clock out of work right on time so the minute the clock hit 6:00 pm, you were logging out and grabbing your already packed bag. one of your coworkers passed by you in the elevator, he was the only one around your age in the entire department so immediately you both clicked. he lightly bumped you with his shoulder and commented, "three side profiles and a headshot or selfie." you furrowed your brows in confusion and he clarified, "photo requests for my husband of course." the two of you burst into laughter as you teased, "was the autographed photocard not enough for you, théo? i even decorated it and put it in a holder for your desk." the young man smiled fondly thinking of the small 3x4 inch card that sat on the corner of his main monitor. he brushed one of his locs from his face and dramatically sighed, "fine i won't be pushy...i only want the selfie." you shook your head and refused with a chuckle, "i'm not asking toto wolff for a selfie, théo." your coworker let out a fake sigh of disappointment and lightly pushed you in the other direction as you parted ways to your cars. you laughed and called out, "i'll see what i can do, no promises though!" his face lit up and he blew your air kisses before calling out a goodnight.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

just thinking about seeing your boyfriend racing again brought butterflies to your stomach. although he was doing well this season a few problems had cost him a few wins here and there. fans had jokingly mentioned that you not being at races was the cause of the missed first place wins because coincidentally, every race you've ever attended, max has won exactly that. for weeks fans have asked about your whereabouts and you'd practically ghosted them simply because you were working so much. you were known as one of the more down to earth f1 WAGs who had no problem interacting with fans in person and over social media. so you suddenly not showing up for max and not interacting with people online made them wonder what was going on with you during the past few weeks. now that work had chilled out, you were happy to be back online again, and even happier to be able to make it out to hungary this weekend.

the moment you stepped into your apartment you made a beeline for your bedroom to change out of your professional clothes. you snatched a pair of scissors, a spray bottle, conditioner, a towel, a comb, and a crumpled up paper bag and cozied up on the couch with shrek queued on the tv. you sprayed your head with the warm water in the bottle and spread a glob of conditioner all over the roots of your hair. you pulled one of your braids forward and snipped the end before unraveling it and picking out whatever knots formed in the 6 weeks your hair had been tucked away. thankfully this time it didn’t take too long to get your braids out, only 3 hours compared to the usual 5 when you didn’t have your boyfriend’s help.

right as the last strands of synthetic hair slipped out of your own curls, your phone rang the familiar tune and a picture of your boyfriend flashed on your screen. a warm smile spread across your face as his camera turned on to show face. you braided you hair on each side to get it out of your face as you spoke, “hi my love how was your day?” he rolled over to his side and grumbled sleepily, “long, usual press day so you know how that goes.” you frowned slightly, “i wish i was there with you today.” max hummed and admitted, “i do as well. but your work is more important so i can deal with this.” you watched as his eyes lingered on your face and you giggled while moving out of the frame shyly, “stop looking at me like that.” although it was dimly lit in hotel room you could see the light pink tint to his cheeks as he smiled, “i can’t admire my lovely girlfriend?” he yawned mid sentence and you insisted, “as much as i love talking to you i know you’re tired and you need to go to sleep. so i’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?” he sleepily agreed and murmured, “welterusten mijn liefste.” you blew him a kiss and whispered softly, "goodnight baby." [goodnight, my love]

instead of heading straight to sleep you chose to wash your hair rather than waiting until the morning to do so. the flight you managed to snag last minute to hungary was set for tomorrow evening and you hadn't packed anything. not wanting to get onto a plane with a damp head of coils, you decided to just deal with it tonight. the entire process didn't take as long since you were speeding through just so you could sleep. by the time you were done it was around 2 AM and you were more than happy with the results. a dozen thick twists hung past your shoulders until you wrapped them up into a scarf and covered them with your bonnet to head to bed.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

when you woke up in the morning you noticed your phone had over 50 missed calls, messages, and emails. your mind conjured up the worst possible thoughts as you called your boyfriend to see what was the matter. max answered on the first few rings and you anxiously stammered, "baby? maxie? what's going on are you okay? where are you?" on the other line max answered clearly confused on what you were talking about, "schat? i am fine, i'm heading to the track. nothing is wrong here, what are you talking about?" you started to calm down realizing that he was fine but you responded, "i thought- didn't you blow up my phone early this morning? i was worried something happened and-" your boyfriend interjected with a calm tone, "y/n, i promise you nothing is the matter-"

an incoming call from théo, your coworker cut max off and you spoke up, "i'm sorry i think it's work related because théo is calling me." max let out an annoyed sound and you laughed, "i don't get why you don't like him." max scoffed, "he is too touchy and handsy with you." there was a playful groan, "oh god here you go- max, we've been over this. théo is a 27 year old gay man from san francisco who's convinced he's princess diana's reincarnate. he's the least of your worries okay?" max conceded, "okay fine i guess...but i still have my eye on him." another call from théo interrupted your conversation and you added, "but he's blowing up my phone so i need to see what's wrong. i'll talk to you later okay?" max agreed and bid you goodbye before hanging up the phone.

meanwhile you answered théo's call and he was literally running through what looked like the parking garage of his high rise. he panted, "you- you nee-...oh god i'm out of shape- you need to get up right now.. i'll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes so be ready downstairs." you looked around confused and your coworker/ friend explained, "there's some massive outage or something happening. i know we had off today but they're calling the entire office in to see if we can figure it out." you were already climbing out of bed and you pressed for more information, "what do you mean an outage?" théo shrugged and wiped sweat from his brow as he tried to make himself look less winded, "i dunno i was thinking a breach or something? whatever it is we'll find out but we gotta go right now babes." you hurriedly grabbed an outfit from your closet and started to get dressed and ready to go, keeping him on the line.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

when you finally managed to get to his car, théo pointed to your phone and told you, "check twitter too, the fans are making jokes that you did something to the platform." despite having no idea what the hell he was talking about you opened twitter to see the flood of tweets under your name on the trending topics list. a pit formed in your stomach and you nearly fainted when you realized what he was talking about. you were completely new to this job and panic coursed through your veins on the thought of losing everything you worked hard for. the look of panic drew a laugh from your best friend and coworker as he jested, "they're funny aren't they?!" you shook your head and nearly shouted, "no it's not i'm gonna get fired!" théo waved off your concern, "girl the issue is definitely not from you and nobody thinks so. besides, dante from marketing and eleni from HR were sending the funny ones to our group chat...not that this isn't serious but just to make light of a shitty situation you know?" you shifted in your seat unsure how to feel and he promised, "i guarantee it's fine."

when you actually got to work with théo you were pulled into a meeting where you all were briefed about the situation. they clarified that they knew it was an issue with an update that was sent out early in the morning. after the meeting your boss told you that he knew you weren't supposed to be working today but you did need to stay and potentially over the weekend as well to help your team mitigate the issue as much as you all could. despite it being a global issue and not directly an issue from the monaco office, you knew that he meant he needed you there to help deploy the solution when it came through. he let you have a fifteen minute break to rearrange your travel plans and make the cancellations you needed before having you start work.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the work day ended later than usual, the later hours were spent at your home office while you were on meetings with other people on your team. luckily you were able to catch up with the results of max's first and second practice sessions through peeking at live updates while you worked. when you got the okay to clock out, you nearly fell asleep on your desk but waking back up when your boyfriend's ringtone jump scared you.

you kept your head on the desk as you opened the video call, "hey you." max's features softened when he noticed the look of exhaustion on your face, "it was that bad huh?" you gave a silent thumbs up and sighed, "i wish it didn't happen...i was so excited to come surprise you and finally be there to see you again. i'm sorry i can't make it work." max rushed to your defense, "er zijn nog genoeg andere races over in het seizoen, je kunt in plaats daarvan naar die races komen kijken." you let out an annoyed groan, "i know but i wanted to be there this time. now you'll have bad luck." max chuckled at the mention of the running joke of you being his lucky charm, "it's alright. don't worry your pretty little head about me. now come on let's go to sleep, i know you're tired." you shuffled your feet against your bedroom floor as you took your phone with you to get ready for the night. [there are plenty of other races left in the season, you can come and watch those races instead.]

as you lay in bed with your lights off max asked, "did you see they asked me about you today?" you hummed a soft, "nuh uh." he smiled at the memory and explained, "i was in an interview and they mentioned that your name was trending on twitter and asked if i saw it. i only saw that your name was trending but i didn't see what for so they told me fans made jokes that you crashed the mercedes, mclaren, and williams servers so that i could win this weekend." a sleepy smile crossed your lips and you asked, "what'd you say?" he turned over in his bed and answered, "i told them it wasn't you because you don't make mistakes in your work. you're too good at what you do. also that you aren't the one that sends out the updates so people don't need to use your name in a bad light." you grinned wider already knowing what he was going to say, "and how did that go over?" max let out an sigh and small chuckle, "the guys have been making fun of me all night for it." you let out the loudest laugh max has heard from you in weeks making him somewhat more fine with getting teased by his friends.

your laughter subsided and you told him, "tell me about something interesting." max thought for a moment then started rambling on about the geologic history of the netherlands, watching as your eyes started to droop with the passing minutes. falling asleep with your boyfriend still on the phone became a habit especially in the early days of you dating. but now you were spending more time with him that occurrences like this just started happening once more, leaving you missing his presence at night. as for now, this was the best you could get.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the end.

[oval3000]

Chapter 3

Yandere Psych Patient König x Nurse Reader

Warning: Possesive, Obsession, Death, Gore, Blood, Smut, Toxic behavior, age gap.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

(This might suck idk. I don't know German so it's all Google translate)

-------------------------------------------------------

He hasn't left his room for a month. They kept him in their with the straitjacket on. His meals are just vitamins that he has to swallow. You would go in to check up on him, but new orders from the administrator's to not go near at all, so you pass by his room. You would peak through the little window and see him laying on his back with little no to motion on his arms or body entirely. His psychiatrist, Dr. Smith is the only that goes in there. They have sessions in his room instead of the usual spot they have it in.

She was pissed at everyone, specifically you. You are her punching bag, even though it was Ben's fault. "Why hasn't he been given his meds!" She yelled at you.

"We are not allowed to go i-" you tried to explain your her, but she could care less.

"You are his nurse right! Your job is to give him his meds! How did you graduate when you can't even do that!" She yelled at you.

You plead for her to listen to you "I'm sorry, Dr. Smith. I can't it's Mr. Millers orders. No one can go in except you because you are his psychiatrist."

So she strolled her way to the administrator's office.

Ignoring his assistant from telling her that she can't go in. Slaming the door open to see him sitting on his chair, writing whatever cral he writes on paper.

"Sarah calm down!"

"Do you have any idea how dangerous he is, and you want me to deal with him alone! On top of that the lack of guards is making my job harder!" Dr. Smith argued with a hand on her hips and her finger pointing towards Ben.

"Do you remeber when you wanted a nurse to look after him." She rolled her eyes. Yes, you, the nurse. "Do you have any idea how much money is going towards her. Triple the pay for looking after him."

Her hands swing in motion, showing her frustration. "She can't even do her fucking job Ben!"

"If she's alive, then she's doing her job well. What's making this hard, is you barging into my office and telling me what to do when you are the one demanding this." He stood up from his chair, fixing his navy tie. "We're loosing staff. People don't want to go near him. Gabriel is threatening to sue the company. Gaurds are quiting left and right so sorry that there aren't enough staff attending your needs."

She crossed her arms with an annoying sigh leaving her lips tinted with red lipstick. "Then hire more people, I don't see the problem?"

"Did you not hear what I said" he walked towards her, standing toe to toe to her. "Majority of our budget is going towards (Y/n). She's been here for two months now, lasting longer than any other nurses. We can't afford another hire with the same pay to deal with König. Besides he hasn't actually killed anyone in those two months, I'll take that than dealing with someone who has a broken jaw from a simple punch."

"Then ask for more money." She scuffed like if it was a joke she said.

He laughed at her face, "Do you think the government cares to fund more for this place, I already have the staff on my ass for new medical supplies, do you think they are gonna hand me the budget to hire someone with triple pay just because you are scared."

"Then fire (y/n) and hire a new guard, maybe someone with military experience."

"Why would I do that. You came into my office, spreaded your legs cause you were so desperate for a nurse and now you want me to fire her. She hasn't done anything in particularly wrong."

"She doesn't follow orders!"

"She does, you just make it difficult." He came in defense.

"Wasn't she trying to stop you from putting him into a straitjacket?" She smirked while her arms crossed at her chest.

"Yes, and she was right. Putting him in a straitjacket does nothing. He was fine it's just that..." he closed his eyes taking deep breath.

"Just what?" She came closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, gently caressing it.

He turned his head to her, he used to lovy dovey with her seduction, but now it's more annoyance. "Eli, the other guard, came to my office the other day and told me that Gabriel was provoking König."

She rolled her eyes, looking around his office. Paying attention to the paintings hanged up on the wall and the light objects he has on his desk. "Like what? Making fun of him? We all make fun the people here what else is new?"

"I don't know the full details, but that's what he told me." He sat a bit on his desk.

"Why does that matter?" She shook her head without a single thought in her brain.

"Gabriel is threatening to sue us. If we fight the legal action, we'll have to defend König. König, just like any other patient represent us, our care. If they find out that Gabriel was the one that caused this, making König the victim it doesn't look good after we placed him in the straitjacket. Like we silencing him out. It will ruin our reputation, we'll all loose our jobs and you fucked your way up here for nothing."

"But he harmed a worker, beside murdered multiple people." She let out a little chuckle, placing her hand on his chest.

He didn't give in, instead, he gave her a stare. "He's ex- military and as for you being his psychiatrist, you'll have to speak on behalf of him. Meaning that people will find out about you, how you never studied to become a doctor you fucked every professor you had to get your degree."

"What are you saying, Ben." Her smile dropped.

"I won't fire (Y/n). She stood up for König, making us look like we care about our patients. As for Gabriel, all he's asking is for some 20,000 thousand dollars, which we can easily give him worth than standing infront of the judge. Which means that we can't afford new guards for you. Besides they're taking off his straitjacket today, so stop being so scared and do your dam job."

"I still think you should fire, (Y/n) atleast." She hummed, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I'm not doing that. Beside she's the only staff that doesn't barge in here demanding stuff. She nice and sweet...." he looked down to the side, " and...young and beautiful. "

She let go of his waist, clenching her jaw. Yes, you being so beautiful. "So what? You want to fuck her? Is that it. Never head young pussy before?"

"You should leave, I have work to do and so do you. This discussion is over." He walked to his desk, sitting down on his chair, unbutton his last few buttons from his dark, navy, blazer.

She stormed off his office, angrly stomping on the white tile floors with her heels creating a louder noise.

You heard the word going around that their taking of his straitjacket, so you quickly gathered what you need to check him up. You saw as the guards took off. He let out a big stretched, flexing more of his muscles. It caused a scare to the guards like a lion letting out a roar.

You walked up to and saw more of his face. He stared at you.

He missed you. He never thought he would miss you. During that month of not seeing you was a time he contemplated about you. Are you made for him or not. He will shut his eyes and images of you will pop up. You smiling at him. Taking good care of him. Watching you squirm under him as you take his full length cock inside your pussy. He'll treat you with respect as long as you do what he says that's all. Seeing your belly swell up with his baby. Can't wait to fuck your tits filled with milk. Can't wait to impregnate you with multiple of his children, making one big happy family. How protective he'll be for his kids, for you. To stand up to the bullies, to show them not to be scared of anything. To hold them if they cry.

He should kill you for making him react this way. He should just kill you. You are just another nurse thinking they have control over him. He use to give orders to people, being the colonel and all, he got the respect he fought for, why does he feel weak around you. You are so sweet and joyful to him. If he was back in the field and saw you, would he kill you. Or maybe fuck you. Maybe that's it. He hasn't done it in so long, so long he hasn't touch a women. He should've just fucked one of the other nurses. Yes, maybe he should do that. Fuck a nurse, just to see. I mean what's the harm in that.

"Aah...yes. right there ngh.... yes...oh fuck that feels good."

The sound of König's footsteps were low that they couldn't hear over the sound of skin slapping against eachother. Watching a men fucking his girlfriend on his bed.

"Does your boyfriend fuck you like this?" Slaming her ass back and forth on his cock.

"Ah....a-aah....he-..he could barley...make me- fuck!..mmgh....wet." She grip the bedsheets hard while he kept pounding her.

No. No. He can't. Not you. He can't. He can't betray you like they did. He can't imagine the face you'll make if you know he fucked another girl. No he should be pure to you. You should be the only one he touches.

He needs you. Okay, it's done. He'll make you his and you'll love him. You'll love him and care for him. Rather you like him or not it's done.

You wrapped the cuff around his bicep and squeeze the bulb reading the numbers on the circle, writing it down. Doing the usual things you have studied for. As you were checking his heartbeat, he reached up which caused you to flinch a bit. His index finger, gently, caressing your cheek. Your back was turned to the guards, making it hard them to see what's going. You stared at him as he touched you with such charisma. His thumb reaching to your chin, hovering over your lips. He placed the tip of his thumb on your bottom lip, gently pulling it out a bit.

You shouldn't have this feeling at the pit of your stomach. You couldn't tell of you didn't smack his hand away because you are scared or because you enjoy it. You never had this much attention, not like this.

"I don't have time to argue with you (Y/n)! Go to your room!" The little girl tuged at her moms shirt.

"Where's daddy?" She felt tears running down her face as her mother poured more wine into her glass, already finishing up the fresh new bottle.

"(Y/n)! Seriously go to room! You are such a headache! Why couldn't your father take you with him! Nauseating!" She dranked the entire glass, slamming the cup on the table.

"Where's daddy?" She said one last time not letting go of her blanket. The same blanket her father got her when she told him she was cold.

"HE LEFT! HE LEFT US (Y/N)! LEFT US FOR THAT BITCH! AND NOW I'M STUCK HERE WITH YOU. HE RUINED MY LIFE. I COULD'VE DONE SOOOO MANY THINGS! But no! I'm stuck to take care of a brat!"

He palmed your cheek, feeling your warmth. He went in closer to you. You could feel his hot breath, quicken as he got closer to your lips.

You pulled back, "I shouldn't- we shouldn't. I mean." You whispered to him.

"Mein liebling (my darling)." He whispered to you. The first time he spoke to you. You couldn't understand him, but he spoke to you. "Du bist mein (you are mine)." He pulled you closer to him, he didn't care if the guards were staring, if anything, he enjoys it. To show everyone that he is yours to touch. "Mein schatz (my sweetheart)," his lips were hovering yours, you felt a little tingle at how close he was.

You know this shouldn't happen. You turned your away from his. You walked back, feeling his grasp letting go. He stared at you witch a smile on his face. You saw the smile he gave you.

When your shift ended and went back to your apartment, the thoughts of what happened lingered into your mind.

That night, you couldn't sleep. He was in your dreams. What if you never pulled way. Were you really going to kiss him. You glazed over the parts where he touched you.

You searched the words he said to you to translate it. Sweetheart, darling, mine.

You felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You never felt so complicated before.

Having a crush on a patient.

You have a crush on König.

[incorrectbatfam]

Types of obnoxious batfam stans

Written by an obnoxious batfam stan

Not really a rant but something I've noticed over the years interacting in different spaces and I've decided to make your problem now.

Please note that I'm not saying there's any "right" way to be a fan because we all suck by virtue of being comic nerds, but there are certain kinds of batfamily fans that stick out to be in particular.

Anywho, here are 12 kinds of annoying batfam stans that you've probably run into and you better get a laugh out of it *points gun to your head*.

1) The Newbies Who Never Heard of Google

There's no shame in being new to something. It's a phase that we're all guaranteed to go through, whether we're 11 or 101. However, in this day and age, so many things can be easily googled that you don't need to shout every question you have into the VVorld VVide VVoid. If you need comic recs or a reading list, google it. If you wanna know a character's origin story, google it. If you need to know the color of Batman's underpants in a particular issue in 1965... well that's probably too specific for Google but Reddit will definitely have an answer.

2) The Middle School Authors

Before the 13-year-olds get up in my notes, I'm not saying everyone that age writes like this. Middle school is a state of mind. These fanfic writers usually stand out in a few ways.

They're oftentimes first-person POV or reader-insert. Give Y/N a break, she's tired.

The grammar is stunningly atrocious. I get if you're inexperienced or if you're writing in a second language, but we are in the prime era of autocorrect. If you need help, it's right there. Also, fuck c*nsoring b*d w*rds and fuck "unalive."

The characters do things that are out-of-character because the author is projecting their own personality. Bruce Wayne is a lot of things but he does not listen to the fucking Mountain Goats.

There's a lack of experience or research when it comes to certain topics. That's not how physics works. He can't walk that injury off. And that's definitely NOT how you do the horizontal hokey pokey.

3) The Neckbeards

Unfortunately, these basement-dwelling mouth-breathers tainted the image of what a comic fan is, though that's been changing recently. Still, we've all seen them. They gatekeep via pop quizzes, 'cause obviously you're not a real fan unless you know what page 10 of Batman #138 smells like. They give unsolicited commentary on people's cosplays, nitpicking the guys and being gross toward women. And heaven forbid the comics add a little diversity.

4) The Moviegoers

Nothing inherently wrong with getting into the fandom via the movies, nor is there anything wrong with sticking to that. I just feel like we're two different species of Galapagos finches, you know?

5) The Christopher Nolans

Separate from casual fans of the Nolan movies. I'm calling them the Christopher Nolans because these people have a tendency to reach for the grimdarkest thing possible. It's like they cannot fathom Batman having any other emotions besides punching and gargoyle brooding.

6) The Canon Purists

Wanna share a fun headcanon? NO, because Stephanie Brown never used cherry lip balm in the comics so therefore that must be the absolute truth. These people are a stickler for comic accuracy to the point where it's like... why bother interacting with the fandom in the first place? The worst part is when they're adamant on following a single continuity and refuse to consider anything else. This is comics we're talking about. Everything either has been or will be canon at some point.

7) The Fanon Worshippers

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have the people who base their entire perception of the characters on something either they pulled out of their ass or that their mutual with 16 followers came up with, despite evidence directly contradicting it. I love WFA, but I feel like that's partially responsible for further perpetuating certain popular myths. Also, these fans tend to focus solely on the batfam/their ships. It's one thing to have some people in the foreground vs. background, but put some respect to Bart Allen's name you goddamn cheesecakes.

8) The Golden Age Dads

These guys aren't really obnoxious. I actually find it kind of cute how they think Jason Todd is still dead.

9) The Chronically Online

I have a rule of thumb when it comes to discourse: if it's not something I'd hear about at a bar, it's not worth my mental energy. Some people haven't gotten the memo, though.

These are either the well-intentioned but misinformed teenagers or grown-ass adults beefing with children because they don't have a life. They have takes that are oversimplified, rage-inducing, TikTok algorithm attention-grabbers that no one cares about in real life.

Don't get me wrong, we've got a bunch of issues in comics and fandom that are worth discussing. However, there comes a point where you're splitting hairs and need to go the fuck outside. I'm not gonna link the post 'cause I don't wanna call them and their 7 notes out, but the other week I saw someone saying Stephcass was a racist ship because something something colonialism parallel. You gotta be Elastigirl to have that kind of reach.

10) The Corporate Simps

I love comics. I appreciate the writers and artists. However, you will find my carcass in a ditch before you catch me licking the boots of DC/Warner Bros. Basically, these fans, fewer as they are, can't seem to fathom that their favorite franchise can (and does) put out some steaming motherfucking garbage.

11) The Hot Cosplayers

Not actually annoyed, I'm just a little jealous. Stop being hotter than me, please and thank you.

12) The One With A Punchline For Everything

Wait–

[strangesthirdeye]

Being Sherlock's wife and going through the pregnancy would include:

Warning: It's Sherlock, he's a great man. fluff, aftermath of The Final Problem, sweet, baby, Sherlock is a great husband, pregnancy, Baby William creation.

As usual, I'm sorry if there are any wrong sentences or typos or grammatical mistakes, please forgive me and again English is not my first language, so I try to improve my language and writing in this way.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

• Him, dumbfounded and stunned when you told the news that you are pregnant which causes you to be concerned with the lack of response from him.

"I think you broke him" John.

•But later Sherlock recovers from the state of loading his information by hugging you tightly and repeatedly saying you two have become parents.

• Since you are still in the early stages of pregnancy, Sherlock will monitor your diet and recommend routines that should be followed by pregnant women. That's after he did research for pregnant women on Google.

• Concerned with the safety of you and the baby when you insist on joining him and John to solve cases. Even if you are still early in your pregnancy and capable of doing your work, saying that you don't need to tire yourself, but later let you join him and John.

• Morning sickness? don't worry Sherlock is always alert to your situation so don't be surprised if he suddenly appears behind you just to hold your hair as you vomit all the contents of your stomach into the toilet.

• Headaches? Sherlock can give you paracetamol and massage your head. Body aches? automatically, Sherlock is good at massage

• When it comes to the middle of pregnancy, the majority of pregnant women will have cravings with weird combinations of food. So you are no exception.

• Lemon and Honey? Sherlock can take the pickle and peanut butter boots? Sherlock doesn't know if the one he married all this time is human or not.

• wake up late at night just to eat something spicy? Sherlock automatically got up and left the flat for the sake's of you.

• you are also no exception to mood swings and your victim is Sherlock. Obviously.

• from sad to angry to happy and Sherlock handles your mood easily because he really expects you to be like that. He will be the place where you release your mood swings as long as you don't kill him.

• John being an expert about pregnancy (Mary preggo tadaa) gave him advice to handle pregnant women.

"and don't stress her out, Sherlock" John obviously.

• And now the awaited time has arrived. As your stomach is getting bigger and rounder, Sherlock can't keep his hands on his side because he always puts his big hands on your stomach just to feel the baby in that stomach.

• he will kneel and talk to the baby in the stomach which becomes a daily routine in these few months. He excitedly talked about his cases. Obviously.

• Him, excited when he gets a response from the baby in the stomach like a baby kicking your stomach because the baby is excited with his father. Often leaving you gasping for breath due to indigestion being kicked by the baby in the stomach.

• rub your belly every night and hug you from the back every time you sleep.

• when it comes to last month of pregnancy, your body aches and back pain are getting worse and Sherlock always helps you.

• he will whisper words of comfort in your ear as he hugs you from behind and strokes your hair to convince you that you are a strong person as you are having a mental breakdown.

• But overall, everything turns out fine and you don't have a mental breakdown anymore. Thanks to your loving husband.

• Excited because there are only a few weeks left before he will meet his baby and always finding some good names for his baby.

• Gender? nahh he doesn't care about that as long as the baby comes out well.

"Tina?" Sherlock.

"sounds like somebody's aunt" You.

•talking with baby has become traditions now. And he cannot wait to hold his baby.

• last week of pregnancy, he already took you to the hospital in case you give birth early. Bags and all facilities such as baby clothes and diapers have been packed by Sherlock. So no need to worry.

• John gave him a word of advice about the newborn. Such as what he should do and what he shouldn't do so that he won't panic.

• Rosie is excited to meet her new friend and always stuck with you while talking to the baby in your belly. She already sees you as a mother figure as hers has passed away. So no wonder she always stuck with you.

• When it's time for you to give birth, Sherlock will be where you endure the pain when you push the baby out of your vagina. He doesn't care if his hand is broken because you grabbed it or you swear at him. He's always there.

• Him, saying that you are strong and encouraging you to push the baby.

• panic when everything was quiet for a moment but sighed in relief when he heard the sound of his baby crying for the first time. He rubbed your head happily.

• Him, support his bundle of joy in both hands and smile genuinely as he found out that he got a boy.

• William Scott Hamish Holmes. That's your baby's name and his.

• Kiss William's forehead tenderly and whisper some words like welcome him to the family of Holmes.

• He is always there when you need him. What a great husband.

[hikarry]

Aziraphale and Crowley plan a vacation free of miracles, just for the heck of it. Just to do it the way humans do. Maybe it's fun! Maybe they will have a grand old time! Who knows?

It all starts with packing.

Aziraphale is the very first to regret this idea as soon as he opens his bag on top of the bed, ready to pack. They can only take so many bags because they are going on the Bentley, and no miracles means no calling books through space with a single snap of his fingers. So...one bag is not enough, surely.

"Oh, but it is, angel. Max one bag for clothes and one bag for books, nothing more."

"But Crowley, that's absurd! We'll be in Scotland for 2 weeks! Am I supposed to take, what? 5 books? And how am I supposed to choose?"

"This 'no miracles' trip was your idea. Now deal with it."

Aziraphale deals with it, but not without a lot of complaining and making a list of pros and cons of taking every single one of his favorite books. He ends up with a bag full of them and a couple more in the clothes bag.

This is to say that Crowley doesn't have an easier time. No miracles means no miracling his own clothes, so he's got to actually pack something. And he likes most of his clothes. And you never know what type of events will be around. A restaurant? A play? He needs outfits. Good outfits. And a toothbrush. And shampoo and conditioner, cause he refuses to use the ones from the hotel. And hair gel! Cause no miracles also means no miracling his hair into being in shape...doing his hair every morning will be an absolute pain in the arse, but he can endure it. Yet, when he goes to close his bag...it's too full. Taking two bags of clothes would be ridiculous, so he lays his hand on the bag and pushes down, trying to run the zipper. Nothing happens. He sighs and sits on the bag, pulling the zipper once again, and it runs for a couple of millimeters.

"Angel, give me a hand, will you?"

"With what, dear?"

"I'll sit on the bag and also push it down with my hands and you will try to close the zipper." He opens his legs so Aziraphale can access the bag's zipper and he jumps once on his bag, pushing down with his hands.

Aziraphale almost breaks the bloody zipper, but it does indeed close.

With the bags in the Bentley and both seated on their usual positions, Crowley lays his hands on the steering wheel, but doesnt start the car just yet, instead looking ahead.

"Everything alright?"

"...does 'no miracles' mean I can't keep the tank of the Bentley full?"

"I suppose."

"Aziraphale, I haven't gone to a gas station since I got the bloody James Bond stickers!"

"And when was that?"

"Many, many decades ago."

"Oh well, I'm sure getting fuel in a car isn't that difficult. It mustn't have changed since back then."

"Are you sure we can't make an exception?"

"Quite."

"...is this because of the books?"

"Mmh."

Crowley groans and goes to start the car, but he stops short of the ignition.

"Are you...keeping the Bentley whole with miracles? Is that the new problem, my dear?"

"No." He looks up at the angel. "I have to buy a phone charger."

"Whatever for?"

"Because I keep my phone charged with miracles, angel! And I have absolutely zero idea where the original charger is! I never used it! With a bit of luck its still somewhere in Mayfair."

"Oh well, we will stop at a phone shop then. Easy fix."

The demon takes a deep breath, and off they go, on their road trip to Scotland at very not legal speeds - not for lack of complaining on the angel's side, mind you.

When they get to Edinburgh, they quickly find their hotel and go up to their room. Both take showers and, hell, it's still mid afternoon, so they go for a stroll around.

At about dinner time, Crowley quickly googles restaurants nearby and finds one named "Angels with Bagpipes". As soon as he sees it, he stops scrolling. It's somewhat modern and certainly different from the Ritz, but, Satan, look at that name! They just couldn't not go.

"You're joking, certainly." Aziraphale looks over his shoulder. "Look at that other one! Rhubarb. It looks so much more-"

"Posh?"

The angel eyes him side ways.

"I was going to say classy. Romantic."

Crowley snorts.

"Oh this is a romantic vacation, is it?"

"No!" He slaps his arm. "I mean-! Yes! Just-" He runs a hand down his face while Crowley keeps laughing. "Oh, hush. I'm just saying that one looks way more up our alley. That one is too modern."

"I'm down with modern. Big fan of modern, me."

"Oh, believe me, my dear, I'm extremely aware, but-"

"And! For a restaurant as posh as that I bet we need reservations. And you know what we don't have?" Crowley wiggles his fingers. "Reservations. Or miracles to get said reservations."

Aziraphale rolls his eyes, trying to suppress an exasperated sigh. Crowley was ridiculous. How in all the heavens did he put up with him through all these years will forever be a mystery.

"Alright. Let's go to the other one."

Crowley smiles, victorious, and offers him his arm, which Aziraphale promptly takes.

"An angel and a demon walk into a restaurant named 'Angels with Bagpipes'-"

"Crowley!"

And off they go, down the streets of Edinburgh. They have dinner and Aziraphale only complains until the food is served. Afterwards he appears quite content to stuff his face with appetizers and whatnot all while under the watchful eye of Crowley that keeps sipping his wine silently, one elbow on the table, while under said table his leg pushes against Aziraphale's.

"Do behave yourself, will you?"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean, angel." He uses his foot to slightly slide up Aziraphale's leg.

"We are in public."

"Your point?"

Aziraphale closes his legs, trapping Crowley's foot in between them.

"That's my point."

Crowley pouts, pulling his leg away.

"Boring, you are."

The meal proceeds with little to no incidents. Just the usual: Aziraphale utterly enjoying his food and Crowley watching him as he is enraptured by the flavors and its, honest to Satan, impossible to look away. Not to mention the satisfied wiggles. And the moans. It can pass 6000 more years, but Crowley will never ever get used to those.

"Angel."

"Yes, my dear?"

"Do you have money?" Aziraphale suddenly drops his fork and looks up at Crowley, mouth hanging open. "Thought so."

"Heavens, what are we going to do? We can surely miracle it, right? This is an emergency."

"Nop. You didn't let me miracle the fuel so no miracling the money either."

"You paid for the fuel."

"My last pounds, yes."

The angel's eyes widen quite comically.

"You must be joking."

"No. No joke. Last bills in my wallet." He sloshes the wine inside his glass, leaning closer towards Aziraphale. "And I bet this is all quite the price too. What do we do, Aziraphale? Leave by the back like criminals?"

"There's no back and we are not criminals! We need to miracle the money!"

"That's against the rules." He points at the angel, raising an eyebrow over his sunglasses. "Your rules, might I add."

"No-! Crowley!" He also leans closer to the demon and whispers. "We need to do it. We are not criminals."

"I'm a demon. I guess I can be considered a criminal at some extent."

"You're being ridiculous."

"I'm playing by the rules."

"You're insufferable."

"And yet you still love me."

Aziraphale sighs and closes his eyes, trying to think about a solution, when he hears footsteps approaching.

"Have you finished your dessert, sirs?" The waiter asks, stopping right in front of the table.

"We have." Crowley is quick to answer, and Aziraphale kicks him under the table. He was not done yet, and he needed more time to think about a solution!

"Are you ready to pay?"

Crowley looks at Aziraphale, very serious, and Aziraphale can feel the sweat accumulating on his hands. Oh lord, they had no money. And they just ate a 3 course meal. I mean, Aziraphale ate. Crowley mostly dabbled on the soup and spent the rest of the meal drinking. Drinking quite old and expensive red wine, at that.

Aziraphale looks at Crowley, then at the waiter - who is smiling very politely at them - and then back at the demon. Crowley raises his eyebrow again while Aziraphale starts to shake. He was about to pop when Crowley snorts and reaches for his wallet, pulling a black card and handing it to the waiter, who accepts it and walks away. Aziraphale gasps.

"You had money!"

"Technically no. I had a card."

"A card with money!"

"I never said I didn't have a card. I said I didn't have bills. Physical money. I did use my last bills at the station."

Aziraphale kicks him under the table again, and Crowley can't hold it anymore and starts laughing as controlled as he can.

"Oh, I hate you, you fiend!"

"You've been telling yourself that for 6000 years and you're yet to believe it." The waiter returns with the card and leaves just as fast. "Shall we go back?"

"Yes. But I won't forgive you for this."

"Ah, yes. You. The one that throws 'I forgive yous' through the wind."

"Crowley!"

"Joking. I'm joking." He gets up and Aziraphale follows him. When they get through the door, Crowley offers him his arm once again and leans in closer. A whisper just Aziraphale could hear. "I have my methods to make you forgive me. Just let us get to the hotel, angel."

Alas, the day was not ready to give them a break. On their way to the hotel, it suddenly started raining heavily, soaking both of them to the bone.

"I don't believe this!"

"A little miracle would come in handy right about now, eh?" Aziraphale sighs and snaps his fingers, summoning a tartan umbrella to his hand, which he promptly opens, covering both of them. "Angel!"

"Hush. We can start over tomorrow. Now, let's go." He grabs Crowley by the arm and starts pulling him.

"What's the rush? It's not like we can get sick."

"Someone promised me something when we got to our hotel room." The angel looks over his shoulder to the demon for a second, still walking up the street.

Crowley smiles.

"And you just have to run to find out whatever it is."

"Color me curious."

They did get to the hotel quite fast, and the first thing they did was peel away from their drenched clothes and jump in the shower. Whatever happened in there is between the angel, the demon, and the white tiles on the wall.

[factual-fantasy]

20 Asks! Thank you!! :)) 🎩

@holly-opal (Sent after this post)

I'm still working out the kinks of my AU- but I've got a few ideas in mind for Wally!

First off, he has terrible sleeping problems. :( He can only sleep for a few hours at a time before waking up with heart palpitations and feelings of anxiety :((

He's very casual about these problems and will talk to anyone who asks him about it, The neighbors will ask things like "have you tried this?" or "Have you tried eating this?" And he tries it all, but it never works.. he's not sure why :(

This is my in-world explanation for why Wally talks soooo slowly and has droopy eyes. The poor guy cant get a good nights sleep!

Now what Wally doesn't know, is that his Home is some kind of living entity.. its intentions with Wally are uncertain.. but at night while Wally is sleeping... it watches him.

The aura Home creates causes so much anxiety in Wally that he wakes up. And the feeling of another presence somewhere nearby creates so much anxiety that he cant go back to sleep.

He doesn't really recognize that these feelings could be legitimate. He just thinks to himself "No one is watching you, don't be silly!" He then double checks that his house is all locked up tight and finds a comfortable spot to rest until the anxiety subsides.. (..until home stops watching him..)

I've been experimenting with different ways that Barnaby could find out about just how severe Wally's nighttime anxiety is. And what he would do to help him.. but I haven't settled on an idea yet <:0

@greenkirbkid456u

I have not.. :( but after googling it, the art style looks really cool!! :DD

@birodactyloftheblog

XDD This ask made me laugh, and it was really sweet! Thank you!! :}}

I would love to dip my toes into welcome home a little more, I'm just a bit thin on ideas <XDD

@ivannakoopagirl14

<:0 Sorry what?

<XDD I cant tell what Wally is supposed to be. In canon he's the same height as other characters, dresses rather grown up, had his own house?? Yet so much fanart draws him/portrays him as really young or a child..? With all the neighbors treating him as a child?? <XD Which one is correct??

Not any that I can remember.. I haven't interacted with that fandom for a while <XD And when I did, I mostly stuck to my own blog and my own ideas-

@glitchhayden418

Bloop!! :))

Oof, its sad to hear that's how you found me.. 😔 But its nice to hear that someone feels the same way! :))

As for your question, that's totally fine! :D

@hershelwidget

Thank you so much!! :DDD And to be totally honest I never really think of the environment the sky animals/beasts live in <XD I usually just see the cool mask and imagine what the rest of the creature would look like! :00

Not sure for any specific advice... I'm not great at explaining art things <XDD

Yeah I have her holding an everstone XD and if she evolved she'd look like a man 💀 Which is why I'm keeping her as a cute little baby Kricketune :))

@sevenheven7011

Oh cool! :DDD

@wolfwraithartz

AAAAAA THEY LOOK SO COOL!!! :DDDD

@minnesotamedic186 (Sent after this comic)

That's right! And its a SEAHORSE MASK?? Huh :00 I didn't realize!

Oof, thanks for letting me know.. and it sucks to hear that my art is on your board, that's not good. 😔

@imaplantyay

Oof, thanks for letting me know..

@davesartdesk

👀👀👀I cant wait to see it! :DD

@orchid-harmony

Season of Abyss was a literal and figurative game changer for me. Adding swimming mechanics to sky?? That beautiful ocean(?) to swim in?? I loved it so much and it added so much more playability to the game for me.

..However..... the season of Aurora was mind blowing. Haven't cried that hard at a game before. That's gotta be my favorite season. 🥺💞💞

@stupid-thatsme (Refencing this post)

Man... 😔 I'm so sorry.. 😔😔😔

@kaiserdarken

I'm not sure! :0

XDD Nope! They Ingo and Emmet!

@livinwa

SNake! :D

(Referencing this post)

Same here 😔

@coolguyoninternet

XDD Well I do have a few side blogs, but my sona is only on this blog!

@couchwow

👁️👃👁️

@ozzytheplushiemonster

You'll find someone my frien :(

@neo-metalscottic (Master post trouble)

AAHHH THANK YOU!! :DD I was really proud of that gut punch so I'm glad you liked it! :))

As for if the animatronics have their own show.. I'm not sure :00 I made my AU without them having a show in mind.. but that's not to say they don't have one! Maybe its played on TV outside of the pizzaplex so the main animatronics don't really know about it..? :0

@kittysuicoffee (Sorry for the late reply! <XD)

WAHGGG THESE ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! 🤩🤩💞💞💞💞

XDD That's me!! :))

[thatrandomlemononyourcounter1]

The Problems With TMNT 2012 April O'neil (And Why It's The Writer's Fault)

(side note this accidentally low-key turned into an April O'neil defense post, and I apologize.)

Hello everyone! This post was seven pages on google docs so that's fun :D

When I was younger, I thought April O'neil was so cool. She was part Kraang, had multiple guys chasing after her, and was training to be a kunoichi.

As I got older though, and rewatched the show, I realized that while her character was cool, there were a lot of issues with said character.

Now, before I really start, I want to clarify, I do not dislike April! In fact, I still think she's a really cool character with a lot of potential. Unfortunately, said potential has been lost to the grasp of time and space, but that's not her fault.

A lot, and I mean a LOT of people don't like April. The most common complaints I hear about her are as follows. A, she led Donnie and Casey on. B, she's a Mary Sue. C, she got too powerful too fast. D, she's just annoying and two-faced.

Let's start with point number 1.

The Love Triangle between Donnie, April, and Casey is one of the most controversial things in the show. Some people love it, most people hate it, not that I blame them. The biggest point against the love triangle was that it deterred from the characters, and was honestly just kinda gross and cringey.

This could not be more true.

I could make whole other posts on why Donnie and Casey's characters would've been so much better without the love triangle, but this is an April post, so let's talk about April and the first point where the writer's screwed up.

Introducing April as a love interest

If there was one thing that I could take away from TMNT 2012, it would be the fact that they introduced April not as her own character, but a love interest. The fact that they did this set the stage for what April's character was meant to become.

If they had simply introduced April as her own character, then we would've been able to get a better grip on her personality.

But no.

April had never really been a love interest in the iterations before tmnt 2012, and that was because she usually stood in as an older sister figure for the turtles. Yes, some fans shipped April with the turtles, but it was never implied in any of the previous shows that any of the turtles had a crush on April or vice versa.

I don't know why TMNT 2012 decided to change that, but they did.

Making April the same age as the turtles wasn't the problem, and honestly, neither was shipping Donnie and April in the show.

It was how they did it.

In shipping the two of them, they dumbed April's character down to just a love interest, and made her seem bitchy. They wrote her having romantic moments with both Donnie and Casey, and supposedly turning both of them down at other moments.

A Foot Too Big is one of the most controversial episodes in TMNT 2012 period. The episode consists of Donnie rescuing Bigfoot. Bigfoot then proceeds to follow Donnie around like a lost puppy, invade his personal space, touch him without consent, blah, blah, blah. This causes Donnie to realize that just like how Bigfoot is acting is making him uncomfortable, how he's acting around April is probably making her uncomfortable. He then proceeds to tell April that he was going to try and start leaving her alone, and that he understood he was probably making her uncomfortable.

Then, in one of the most controversial moments ever, April grabs him and kisses him, saying "You're my mutant."

Yeah.

Prettttyyyy bad.

I think this incredibly out of character for April, and I think that the entire reason this scene happened was so that they wouldn't lose their most played gag, well tied with making Mikey look stupid after proving him to be smart time and time again, but that's a post for another time.

An excellent point that I've seen made by others was that the whole love triangle was never planned to have a solution, it was there to be played for laughs, which in turn, made April's character suffer for it.

I do believe that April's character would've thrived if not for the love triangle, and I believe that Donnie and Casey's characters would've been better off as well.

Point 2: April's a Mary Sue

Boy oh boy.

First of all, let's look at the definition of a Mary Sue.

"Unrealistically lacking in flaws or weaknesses."

So...people want to call April bitchy, and then call her a Mary Sue, as if being bitchy isn't a character flaw?

This is argumentatively one of my LEAST favorite arguments against April's character, because usually the argue-r defeats themself when they say the statement.

"She's annoying." That's a character flaw.

"She leads people on." That's a character flaw.

"She let herself get controlled by the stupid crystal." That's a character flaw.

April has a lot of flaws, and that's one of the reasons why I think her character could've been really interesting!

Let's take a look at some of the things that build April's character, and therefore make her not a Mary Sue.

April is shown from the very beginning of the show to be more of an action-oriented person, not always thinking things through.

(i.e. in S1 EP6 Metalhead when she went to go investigate the Kraang warehouse by herself or even in S1 EP1 Rise of the Turtles when she tries to come up with a plan to escape the Kraang's holding her hostage)

This is a character flaw, and it's one that we see a lot throughout the show.

April is also shown to be very empathetic. You can see this in multiple instances, such as when Karai admitted that she believe Splinter was her father, and April believed her.

This isn't necessarily a character flaw, but it has gotten her into trouble a few times. Usually her empathetic attitude helps more than harms.

April stands up for what she thinks is right. This is an important piece of her character that ties into her empathetic attitude.

April is sassy sometimes.

April can hold a serious grudge.

But, she can also be forgiving.

April is stubborn.

So, as I've pointed out, April definitely has a personality. It's just that usually, these elements of her character were ignored in favor of the love triangle, dulling down her character overall, and making her sometimes seem like a Mary Sue.

Speaking of the Mary Sue argument, let's take a gander at another requirement for being a Mary Sue, which is "everyone likes them, and people who don't like them are shown to be wrong for not liking them."

This is NOT true for April.

TMNT 2012 had no problems making Karai and April have serious beef, and Karai was never shown to be in the wrong for disliking her, except for when Karai took it a step too far.

Obviously, most of the other characters (who aren't villains) like April, because the other characters that are shown are her friends, or friends of friends.

Another aspect of the Mary Sue argument was that the character was usually too powerful without a reason, or out of nowhere.

This also ties into point number three:

April got too strong too fast/April's too strong

Okay!

So let's get into this point.

When I was a little younger, I used to think that people who argued this had a point, but again, as I've gotten older and applied my critical thinking skills, I realized that this isn't actually true.

Some people didn't like that the show made April half-Kraang, claiming it was too strange, just a way to make a female character seem like a 'girlboss', and of course a variety of sexist comments.

I am among the lovers of half-Kraang April, mostly because I think it was a really interesting take on the character.

But! A lot of people claimed that her "kraang" powers were too strong, making her unlikeable.

You want to know how the writers remedied this?

By making April get possessed by the Aeon crystal! (In my opinion, this was actually a really interesting writing direction)

Whiiichhh...of course a bunch of people also had a problem with.

Look, I can't make you like the Aeon crystal writing choice, and I'm certainly not about to try, but, by making April get possessed, the writers inadvertently added a flaw to their apparent "flawless" glorified love interest.

Now, it's been a hot minute since I watched any of the later seasons of TMNT 2012 (mostly because paramount plus is my mortal enemy (side note if anyone has seasons 3-5 downloaded feel free to DM me wink wink)), but I think I remember April losing some fights.

It wasn't like the narrative made her invincible, is my point.

So yes, April was strong, but she wasn't insufferably strong to the point where it was annoying.

I often see this argument used against Captain Marvel from the MCU as well, and I loathe it with my entire being so.

Now for the "April got too strong too fast" complaint.

I just gotta ask, did we watch the same show? /hj

April was shown to have something strange going on with her since season 1! Her powers were alluded to multiple times, so it wasn't like this was a last minute writing decision.

Her power grew stronger as the seasons went on, and there were a few episodes in each season that showcased this, such as S3 EP7 Eyes of the Chimera.

Yes she was strong in season 5, but that's because it was the last season!

As for her ninjutsu skills, it's the same thing. She'd been training since season 1! She grew as a ninja over time.

Now, for the last point:

April's just annoying.

Yeah, if this is you, I don't know if I can change your mind. Also if this is you, there a many times per season where I agree with you!

But let me tell you dear reader the same thing I tell myself.

It's not the character, it's the writers.

Unless the very idea of April O'neil makes you mad, my guess is that most of the gripes you have with her character are the writers' fault. The not choosing between Donnie and Casey, the 'character trait swaps', all of that was the writers.

None of those things are April's character.

Conclusion:

If you made it all the way down here, and read all of it, I applaud you.

Overall, I can't make you like April, but I can attempt to analyze her character and give you the finished analysis, that is mostly just me blaming all the problems of her character on the writers.

April had the opportunity to be an amazing character, and that opportunity was poured down the drain.

But, there are still some redeeming things about her character, and those things are the things that made me like her.

So, like most things in life, if you focus on the positives, you'll be okay.

This was CJ and her April O'neil analysis, that accidentally turned into a defense post.

Sorry if none of this post made any sense, I wrote it at midnight after a very long day.

[ooffmlsorry]

The Monster Trio Driving (you around)

LUFFY

Getting this one right out the way, THIS MAN CANNOT DRIVE!!!! You are driving him around

Luffy theoretically knows how to drive because Ace and Sabo taught him but doesn't have a license and no one in their right mind would give him one

Always has his feet on the dashboard

Loves singing along to music with you even if he doesn't know the words

Knows it's probably a hassle to drive him around sometimes, so he'll get out and pump gas for you--especially when it's cold

Sticks his tongue out a people that cut you off

Always brings snacks that he'll (mostly) share with you

Points out everything cool, cool cars, cows, dogs, clouds, he just wants you to experience them too 🥰 (just don't crash)

DOGGIE!! Y/N there's a doggie in the car next to us!! Let's tell them to pull over so we can pet it!!

Leaves crumbs in your car if he notices them (BIG IF) he'll apologize and swipe them out, I swear!

SANJI

Between Zoro and Luffy, obviously he's the best driver and he definitely mocks Zoro about it

Drives so safe when you're in the car

You know that one Twenty One Pilots song "Tear in My Heart"? Yeah, Sanji is the guy avoiding potholes so you can keep sleeping and is cursing the government under his breath for not filling the potholes so his princess can sleep

Other than the fact that the car smells like smoke, he keeps it pretty clean

Of course he opens the door for you, who do you think he is???

He's great except...the road rage Oh. My. God. Nobody better drive like an idiot when he's go the most beautiful woman in the world in his car

HEY JACKASS CAN'T YOU SEE I'VE GOT AN ANGEL IN MY CAR!!!?? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!

I mean he's not gonna cause a problem once the idiots done being an idiot but I hope you like flipping people off and the liberal use of the car horn

Let's you pick the music, obviously, but gets really melty and fuzzy-hearted when you let him pick

Gets distracted at stop lights because he's always touching you or staring

Car sex obviously

ZORO

No one knows how he got a license...you're not even sure he has one because if anyone asks he just smirks like the gif above

Always has Google maps on, don't say anything about it or he'll get mad

HATES traffic

Tells you you owe him gas money, never actually collects on it though lol and if you try to give it to him he basically gaslights you into believing he never said that

His car is kind of a mess, when he started dating you he put his gym stuff in the trunk so at least his car doesn't smell like sweaty balls and ass anymore

Gets lowkey nervous about driving in the city and in bad weather

Shut up! I need to concentrate! / *turns the music down so he can see better*

Begrudgingly lets you pick the music and complains that you don't have taste but ends up totally enjoying it

Thinks about road head a lot but doesn't necessarily want to try it

Loves driving you around actually because it's just the two you and it feels like y'all are in your own little world sometimes

Usually rests his hand on your thigh or is touching you in some way while driving

Cramped backseat car naps together🥰

[she-is-ovarit]

This is for all the younger gen Z women, particularly those of you within the ages of 17 to roughly 23. This is written from an American perspective, things might be a little different depending on where you're from.

I graduated high school with the unconscious assumption that certain systems will take care of me. The medical system would educate me on proper nutrition and health issues was probably my largest underlying assumption, but really I just had trust in institutions generally.

This isn't true. You are responsible for learning. As an example, I have been vegetarian since age 14. Nobody talked to me about proper nutrition, they just told me I needed to eat more protein.

I lived a decade of my life having shortness of breath, sleeping issues, clumsiness, cold hands and feet, having brain fog, extreme fatigue, heightened anxiety, etc. My period was extremely light and brown, it'd last for about 2 or so days. I'd go and talk about these problems, and telling doctors that I was vegetarian was one of the first things that came out of my mouth just with any visit because I knew at least that piece was important to communicate.

There was really no action taken over the span of about 10 years. I was told the period thing was normal, that changes for women. A sleep specialist let me know that feeling exhausted was also normal. The brain fog was probably due to anxiety. Here, try allergy medication (tbh that did help for other reasons). Then one day I just asked them to check my vitamin and mineral levels. Prior to this I didn't think you can make requests to doctors, I thought you showed up and they performed tests on what they recommended. With some reluctance from my primary care physician and some compromise because she said my insurance wouldn't cover testing things like B12 levels (I later found out from a nurse that, they would, she would have just needed to fill out extra paperwork), she did some tests.

I found out both my iron and D3 levels were low. What else could be?

I later learned pretty much all the vitamins common to be low for vegetarians were low. D3, magnesium, vitamin Bs, iron, and healthy fats. Bought some liquid vitamins (because the body only absorbs 10% of the pill supplements), began eating an avocado a day, my period became normal for the first time in nine years, and I am able to function.

Another example of how human systems won't educate you: I don't have feeling in some of my toes due to wearing incorrect sized footwear for years resulting in permanent nerve damage. I'm size 11.5 in women's, and I was relying on someone to tell me how proper footwear worked, because surely the guy in the minimum wage position working the footwear section would know.

Don't trust human systems to guide you through how certain things work. Seek specific specialists and experts when you can, and inform yourself on your own. Don't blindly trust search engines like Google, it's not like how it used to be when I was growing up and many millennial adults will tell you to "just google things" because we're used to finding actual substantive answers when we do. However, now, usually whoever pays is who makes the first page or two of search engines, it has nothing to do with what information is "most correct". Don't be afraid to request certain tests be done by doctors or certain referrals made to different specialists.

Edit: And also, I've found general practitioners are terrible when you walk in and tell them about several different symptoms at one time. They're more used to treating one symptom at a time, and they treat the symptom not the root cause. If you go in with a runny nose, general practitioners are going to throw medications at you to try and treat the runny nose, not look deeper into what's causing the runny nose. It's equivalent to if you're in a boat and it's sinking, they're bailing out water without actually fixing the hole or trying to figure out where it is, with the exception of emergency situations and even then it depends.

[the-leyline-directory]

I'm coming out of hiding about this cause I'm so fucking anxious about sharing this info about Silvaire Canon, but uh!! Sil's canon ship is with Krile!!

I'm anxious cause of the types of reactions that come with ships with lalafells and any race that isn't also a lalafell :( But! For a longstory short of my brainrot with them, Silvaire through most of the MSQ is still 'a voidsent' or technically a 'villain' type character, working behind the scenes to play multiple parties (reasons usually literally just to cause problems for the WoL to force them to grow as a person so they they'll be a 'better meal' down the line.) Though the longer he stays with the warrior of light the less atherical imbalance he has from his voidsent/darkness affliction and the original person he was (the warrior of crystal from ff11) comes through more as he is a good person deep down! Krile, is the first person to clock him on his behavior and see through the way he acts around people due to her Echo! She can read his intent and tell if he's lying, as well as see the unnatural traits (slitted eyes, sharp teeth etc etc) that are hidden from those unblessed. She's the main person who starts correcting his behaviour by giving him consequences for his attempts to distance himself from others by seeming 'untrustworthy' - as she can tell that he's never doing anything maliciously or to be cruel to the WoL or Scions. It's a very nice slowburn relationship! As Silvaire recovers his soul through the process of healing from his traumas (Shadowbringers is the main point he starts becoming a person again cause of his direct confrontation with Emet, and then post Endwalker dealing with the Thirteenth and the potential of fixing his original home) and Krile is a good support to that, as unlike the scions, she's not as quick to mistrust him (or in Thancred's case to fight him on most things) as said before she can sense his intent for what he does, and as he gets more of his 'soul' back, she's the first to offer that olive branch cause she believes him.

There's so much more!!! Honestly!! It's a long goddamn narrative for him, hence him having an entire Google Doc Lore (Covering his original ff11 Lore + The Hound of Garlemald + post > Actual game lore) but someday I'll have it all written, and by that point it'll be a novel in itself. But uh! Yes! I've always seen @starrysnowdrop's content and it eases my heart of worries for the affection I have for the relationship and the development I've done behind the scenes \o/ Inspiration to overcome my phobia's to talk about it in general as it were! The Gposes and Writing that they do is always beautiful!!! And heartwarming!! \o/ Give them a looksie! Their work is wonderful! I wouldn't be confident to post this without seeing them on my feed. But ya! I'll be doing more content of them now that I'm not being fearful of it! Cause they're important!! And I'm a sap!

Thanks for reading and while it's none of most people's business I will say that the relationship itself is emotional attraction top of all, and sexual aspects are not the focus of this narrative >:( Lalafell are adults who can have fully established relationships and 'sex' isn't an end-all-be-all when exploring character dynamics. The deep emotional connection and trust of secrets and feelings, as well as providing comfort from so many trials!!! Sorry rambling again. I care them very much!

[lansthetic]

Did I make this instead of drawing Lance for his Birthday. Yup. Regret will be a problem for tomorrow me. ✌️💚 This snippet was translate with google, so sorry in advance for the mistakes. :>

Fernando wasn't easily scared. He had seen a lot in his centuries of life and honestly, threats were just one thing among others. He had the ancient and forbidden black magic anchored on the skin of his body in sinuous lines. Nothing can scared him. Nothing. It was his name who make poeple trembled in fear, not the way around.

-What are you doing here, Alonso?

Fernando looked at Jenson's mischievous and uncertain gaze, his body leaning on the ring net, gangs of boxes in his hands. All the people present had stopped their activities, eyes fixed on him and their whispers reaching his ears like a freaking gang of mosquitos. He grumble. Fernando denied his minority in front of the magical auras that he perceived. Wild and savage energies from the demons rubbing his skin like a whispered warning.

-I need a bodyguard. Fernando confessed, then scratching his chin, uncertain. I was given your address, but I didn't think I'd come across a boxing club.

-It’s not just any boxing club.

The dark wizard mentally grumbled under the laughter of the others wolves present, the demons being much more discreet, but some chuckle silently. Fernando knew perfectly well the physical attitudes of the wolves, these brutes believed blindly in their fists and with a good reason. A really good reason. Jenson's laughing eyes stared at him with nostalgia, perfectly remembering that evening in France back in the days. His jaw remembered it too.

-Listen, I just need a bodyguard for an indefinite period of time. Fernando grumbled, burying his hands in his pockets. Can you help me, yes or no?

-Of course! Of course, my dear friend. The werewolf laughed, getting up from the net while removing his gloves. Do you need a wolf or a demon?

Considering the delicate investigation he was on and the constant pressure placed on the hunters' orders, a werewolf wasn't really a great choice. Lewis had warned him, a wolf would risk causing problems with some of their evidences but especially since their main suspect was a wolf.

-A demon.

-I have someone for you, then.

The threats he was receiving were futile, but Fernando had to follow Lewis' orders and if Lewis imposed a bodyguard on him, then he had to comply. He hated being ordered around left and right and having choices forced on him, but his well-being was important to the hunters and he inevitably had to stay in one piece for the sake of the mission. Lewis will tell him whatever he wants, Fernando knew that the hunter didn't care about him and that it was only for the sake of the investigation that he had given him the address of this boxing club. This same club run by one of his old friends from whom they left each others path on bad terms. Fernando scratched his chin as he followed Jenson body moving on the stage, yelling at the others present to continue their training. On the other hand, going down the three small steps of the stage, the werewolf pointed at a demon who was standing not far away, sitting on one of the benches of the platform, a towel around his neck.

-Lancey, come here.

Basically nothing scared him and Fernando always saw everything coming meters ahead. People were afraid of him, usually, his name and his presence made cities trembled with fear and insecurities. He was scary, so seeing the opposite on the face of that demon had frozen him in place. Lewis had insisted that he find a bodyguard, after the macabre package discovered on his doorstep and Fernando, knowing how stubborn Lewis was, had given up. He wasn't afraid of anything. He had brushed death so many times that nothing affected him anymore, but when he met the eyes of this demon, he feel his heart stop. Two brown eyes with whitish reflections stared at him curiously and the magical aura that wrapped around him took his breath away on the spot.

-Alonso, let me introduce you to Lance, the best fighter I have at the moment. One of the best if not the best.

-You're exaggerating, Jenson.

Lance turned his face towards the wolf and pouted. Fernando felt his eyebrow rise, unable to conceive what had just happened in front of him. Did this demon, with this killer aura, just pouted? Really?

-No, no, no. The werewolf patted the demon on the shoulders in a friendly manner. I emphasize what I just said, you are my best fighter and the only one who, I believe, will be able to tolerate the bad temper of our sorcerer right here.

-Always so nice, Button,

Fernando growled, sizing the wolf up with a pair of black eyes. Lance stared at him, a little surprised, but a little mischievous smile stretched his lips. Fernando stared at the young demon, especially at the two shiny marbles that stared at him with a hint of envy, unable to read the man. He made his way next to him.

-So… you need my help, grandpa?

-First, I'm not old.

-Yes, of course. Jenson chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. You’re six centuries old, Alonso.

- You can’t talk with your four centuries under you’re belt, Button. You’re no better.

-All right, that’s enough teasing, grandpas.

Lance laughed. He seemed so young, his pouting face still in the flame of youth and Fernando thought he saw George during a brief second. George with his childish presence despite his Lys title within the hunter hierarchy. George, hunter in his twenties, right-hand man to the one and the best investigators in the city and also boyfriend, with an already golden reputation. Fernando chuckled as his eyes dart on Lance in a teasing way.

-You're still just a baby, demon. You can’t talk either.

The demon pouted again, in a rather adorable face despite his murderous eyes that want him dead on the spot.

-I'm 27. I'm an adult.

-That's what I was saying, still a baby.

[frescoisnotinthemilitary]

Not sure if this is how I send you asks but could you do a König x male baker reader? Like a fluff story? Like at some point Konig realizes he's in love with the sweet baker? If not that's fine too 🫶🏾🫶🏾 please?

Sweet Tooth

König x Male!Baker!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, and König being clueless about his feelings (Tags apply differently. Jokes about suicide, meant to be read with a light heart)

Pronouns for reader: you, he/him, reader is implied male

A/N: I really appreciate this opportunity to write for a character I haven't really written for or considered writing for in the past. I’ve also never written for a male reader before, so thanks so much for this ask! I’m also a firm believer that König drinks an unhealthy amount of hot chocolate. We’re talking 4+ cups on a normal day. I was given the idea and it kind of spiraled. He’s also shy and very pookie-coded here, I think.  Let me know if any of the German is wrong, I relied heavily on Google Translate for this. Also if I missed anything. I’ve read this so many times that the words are melting together and I just needed to post it. Sorry this took so long, I’ve been sick and it’s kicked my ass.

It was a bit of a shock, the first time he walked into the bakery. At almost seven feet tall, how could he not be a shock? 

Ding. The soft tinkle of the bell above the door alerts you to the presence of the morning’s first customer. You glance up, and the smile drops from your face, then immediately reappears. 

“Good morning! Take your time with the menu, and let me know when you’re ready to order.” Your voice cuts through the silence. “I’m going to go take some muffins from the oven, but I'll be back soon. Let me know when you're ready, alright?”

“Ja.” A man’s deep rumble sounded from under his dark veil. You notice his head tip back up toward the chalkboard menu as you slip through the swinging doors to the kitchen. 

When you return, holding a tray of still-warm muffins, he looks to you. “Bitte, ah, please, may I order?”

“Mhm,” you hum in response, your chest buzzing with the vibrato. “What would you like?” The air is filled for a moment with the quiet sound of each muffin tapping onto the glass display plate. 

“May I have a- a blueberry scone, and a medium, ah, large, hot chocolate, please?” He asks. You notice him picking at his gloves and shrinking down as if trying to appear smaller than he is. 

Maybe he’s shy. The thought makes you smile inwardly. “Yup. I’ll get those for you. Sorry for the wait, it’s just me this morning.” 

“Die Stille [hush], it is- do not worry. It is no problem.” 

Oh my god, he really is shy. 

“For here, or to go?” 

“To go. Danke.”

Several minutes later, you raise a hand in a slight wave as he leaves, paper bag and steaming cup clutched in one gargantuan mitt. “Have a good day.”

“Ja. You as well,” he replies. 

It becomes routine, after a while. At first, it was about once a week. Then, it was a few times. Now, Monday through Saturday, he’s the first customer in the bakery, often causing the bell to ring as soon as you flip the sign. 

It’s a typical Tuesday morning, about a month after he started coming in. You’ve already opened the door, he’s received his usual order, and you’re curious. “What’s your name?” You ask, the urge to inquire obscuring any boundaries you might cross. 

He considers lying for a moment, but you’ve been kinder than most. Always assisting him whenever you could, treating him like a human, not like an apathetic war machine. 

“König,” he answers. 

“König,” you repeat. “Isn’t that German for ‘king’? Are you German?” You can’t keep the questions in. They fall from your lips before you recognize that what you’ve asked is invasive. He’s a customer. He’s here to get cocoa and a scone, not be bombarded by questions he might not even want to answer. 

But the man seems unfazed. “Ja, it is German. However, I am from Austria, not Germany.” 

Thank god for those Duolingo lessons, you think. 

“Oh. I’m sorry for all the questions so suddenly, but what do you do for work? Do you work around here?” The embarrassment you felt at the barrage of questions leaving your lips ebbs, and you feel more comfortable asking them now. 

“Ah, well,” he hesitated. “I am a Marine. I am a colonel. I work on the KorTac base, just outside of the city.” He checked his watch, then looked back up to you. “I’m sorry. I have to go, now. It was good speaking with you. Ah, goodbye.” 

It seems rushed, but you think little of it. He’s just shy. 

“Oh, yeah. Of course. See you tomorrow.” 

“Ja, I will be here.”

Tomorrow comes and goes. As does the next day. And the next, and so on. You don’t ask any more questions, as he seemed to leave hastily the last time. 

But he wishes you would. Why did I not ask one of him? I want to know more about the man, the little voice in the back of his head tells him. 

Weeks pass. He returns again. And you’re feeling brave.  

“König?” Your voice accompanies the sound of the paper bag as he grabs the top. “Would you, uh…” You trail off. 

“Would I what, Schätzchen [sweetie]?” 

“Would…” You had a hard time getting the words out. Your palms begin to sweat against the counter, and everything seems to be amplified tenfold. “Would you like to get dinner sometime?” You blurt. 

König is silent for a moment. Then, “Dinner?”

“Uh- yeah. With me.” You wish you could see under the veil, as he doesn’t answer. It seems like hours before König’s head tilts back upward to you. 

A small smile grows on his face, not that you can see it. He finally speaks, and his voice is soft. “Ja. I would like that, very much. Thank you.”

He doesn’t understand why his neck feels hot. His ears. His cheeks. His face is on fire and he doesn’t know why. 

You breathe a sigh of relief. He didn’t reject me. He wants to go to dinner. 

Shit. He wants to go to dinner.

“Cool, cool. What, uh, what kind of food do you like?” You ask casually, as if talking about the weather. As if you hadn’t just asked Colonel Colossus to grab a whole ass meal with you. 

He thinks for a moment before responding. “I quite enjoy anything. I am in favor of the foods of my Austrian background, though I am sure you are much more accustomed to those of your home. The choice is yours, mein Täubchen [my dove].” 

“Uh, well, it’s not Austrian, but there’s a little German restaurant a few blocks from here.”

Why did he ask me to choose? “If that’s okay.” 

König smiles, though his glowing cheeks remain obscured by the veil. “That sounds perfect, Mein Schatz [my dear].”

Your face lights up. “Great. When are you free?”

[captain-mj]

Dragon 1/2

Found the plot and a short drabble in my google docs and wanted to finish it! Couldn't find the original ask, but I have delivered! Second part comes out tomorrow

Soap had found him deep in the woods. He had heard of something had been seen and he wanted to look for the creature causing issues. From the reports, he had a feeling it was a small wyvern or maybe a kelpie. It had been stealing sheep and other small livestock to eat, so he doubted it was anything too powerful. While he could leave this to his knights, he wanted to get out of the castle for a bit.

So for him to find a sleeping dragon, tucked in an abandoned farmhouse, curled up tight, was more than a little surprising. Usually dragons didn't bother with livestock, but Soap could see the bones of the creatures he had eaten all scattered about.

Soap noticed a large gash on his side and realized what the problem was. With a wound that size, the poor thing was probably trying to get what it considered easy pickings.

Slowly, painstakingly, he got on the ground in front of him. His kingdom had many religions, most revolving around the inherent divinity of dragons. They were majestic. The blending of humanity, nature and the divine. All of  those features were very prominent in the creature before him, even injured and sleeping. 

Massive paws, tipped with giant claws. Wings that filled the entire barn with just enough room for his body. Beautiful black iridescent scales that made red ripples when the light ran over them, complete with gold cracking from where the wound was as well as a couple of other scars. Gorgeous. His eyes were a stunningly dark color. Pools of ichor with flecks of color in them. The pupils were barely recognizable as pupils, just a thin vertical line.

Eyes. 

Soap jerked back but the beast’s tail had already blocked the exit he had just went to. It stared at him, clearly thinking. 

Intelligence was another thing. Most people believed that dragons had knowledge that escaped human grasp. Something about them felt so ethereal it wouldn’t shock Soap if it was true. But that did not and could not erase the fact that dragons ate people. And Soap was certainly people. 

The dragon considered him for a moment before lowering his tail and returning to resting. “You should leave.” His voice was hoarse and scratchy from disuse. 

Soap hesitated. “You’re not healing.”

“Poisoned arrows. Still working through the poison.” He lowered his head on his to paws again. The feathers along his head lowered. They were scant, just a few along the barbs. Which meant this dragon was rather young as they lost their feathers as they got older. Probably just reached adult age. 

Just like Soap! His 19th birthday had passed a week prior. This dragon must be around his age. Possibly a little older. 

“Maybe I could help?” Soap moved closer. 

The dragon opened his eyes. “How could you help me?” He looked down at Soap like he was a bug. An inconvenience. 

“I could bandage you up. See if I have anything that will help in my kingdom.” Soap got closer. He wanted to assist him. Dragon or not. He was hurt. 

He growled and narrowed his eyes. “Do not come closer.” 

Soap paused. “I… Okay. What if I bring you supplies?”

“That would be… acceptable.” 

“My name is Johnny but everyone calls me Soap..”

“...Simon.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Simon.” Soap smiled at him. “Don’t leave, alright?” He started to step back. 

Simon narrowed his eyes but slowly, achingly relaxed back onto his paws. “How do I know you won’t bring someone else here to kill me?”

“I’d never do that! You may have stolen some things, but it was clearly from need.” Soap raised his hands, praying he would believe him. “I’ll even bring you more food.”

Simon looked very suspicious but he nodded. “I’ll stay. But just for a little while…”

Soap beamed. “I’ll be right back!!” He rushed off to get supplies. 

Only after coming back with two backpacks, stuffed to the brim, did he consider maybe that was overkill. 

Simon had shifted back. 

Soap blushed and quickly looked away. 

“Something wrong, Johnny?” Simon asked, stretching himself out among the hay. His wings had blocked it before but the majority of the left side of the roof had been damaged. The sun was spilling out all over his very naked body.

“Do you have no modesty?” Soap sounded aghast. Simon had his wings still, but they were lounging around his body. Not moving to cover it. Soap kept his eyes firmly on Simon’s face. 

Simon looked amused. “Why? I am wearing just as much as I was before. I simply changed forms.”

Soap shook his head. “This form is… is…”

“It is your form!” Simon frowned. “Under all of those clothes. You’d look just like me.” 

“Yes, but I’m wearing clothes!” 

Simon snorted and looked away, crossing his arms. “You said you’d help me. Get on with it.” 

Soap glared and moved closer, still focusing on his face. 

Simon sighed and raised the arm on his injured side up above his head and used the other to cover himself. “There. Modesty.” He said it with such sarcasm that Soap wanted to snap at him. 

“I’m a Prince you know. You’re not being very respectful of royalty.”

“You’re the one asking me to be unnatural and wear clothing. Are you not disrespecting divinity by doing so?” Simon purred. 

Soap poured water over the wound. “I think there may pieces of arrows still… in the wound… That may be why you still haven’t healed.” 

Simon frowned and deflated a bit. “I’m going to have to let you dig it out… Fucking hell.” He tilted his head back, exposing his throat. “Alright. Go for it.” 

“What?? I’m not… I don’t have the… experience to do this!” 

“C’mon, little Prince. Hurry up. Explain why it still hurts so much.” 

“You cannot be serious! You weren’t even sure if you’d stay until I got back and you’re going to let me just dig around in your wounds??” Soap was hoping he’d see sense and change his mind. 

Simon smiled. “You got it! Get to it, Johnny.” He had a beautiful smile. It lit up the entire room and Soap was sure it was some sort of dragon magic he wasn’t aware of. He was wrong. Simon just looked like that. 

Soap sighed and got closer. “Alright. You’re crazy.” He moved to get a better angle, pulling out a knife. “One of the pieces are in deep. Let me get these little shards first. Think you can stay still for me?”

“Sure. And if you hurt me too bad, I’ll just break you in half.”

Soap nodded immediately and got to work. “How old are you?”

“21 years. You?”

“19.” He had guessed right! “What brings you to this area?”

“I was fleeing the North. There are some real assholes there.” Simon winced and then pressed back into his hands to correct himself. It meant that Soap’s palm came into direct contact with his skin which surprised him. 

“You run hot. Always thought dragons ran cold.”

“Misconception. Thanks to the fire in us, we’re technically warm blooded.” 

Soap hummed. “The thing that lets you breathe fire right?”

Simon pursed his lips and blew out a perfect smoke ring. “Yeah. Exactly.” 

When he did that, a spot in his throat glowed faintly. Since it was just smoke, it wasn’t very noticeable, but it was clearly there. 

Soap focused on the task at hand again, but he planned to ask some questions once they were out. He pulled out the little wooden splinters before grabbing the metal tip. “This may hurt a bit.” 

“What do they say? Pain is beauty?” Simon grinned right before yelping in pain when the arrowhead was fully dislodged. He panted softly as the thing dropped the ground. “Jesus that’s big.” 

Soap nodded in agreement and, while Simon was distracted, quickly poured alcohol all over everything. Simon growled immediately and grabbed Soap hard. For a moment, Soap thought he was about to make good on that promise of breaking him in half, but Simon didn’t move any further. He just held him tight and slowly took a deep breath. Then another. And after a moment, he relaxed his grip. 

“There ya go. That wasn’t too bad, was it?”

Simon had closed his eyes and it gave Soap a chance to steal a quick glance at him. The dragon was a vision. Dozens of golden scars laced over his body, especially over his chest. His face… He was pretty. So very, very pretty. When he was a kid, his mother insisted he study the ancient arts and one of those included a set of sculptures made to be in the gods’ images. Simon would’ve fit in well among them. 

“Thank you.” 

“Of course… I also brought more food for you.”

Simon opened his eyes again. “You’re being awfully kind.” His throat glowed again, down his chest. 

Soap stared openly this time, too taken back by the fire clearly going under his skin. “What is that?”

“A flame.”

“Fascinating.” 

Simon stared for a moment before grabbing Soap’s hand and pressing it to the places that glowed. There was more heat in those areas. It felt extremely pleasant. “Huh.” Soap felt very eloquent with that response. He kept his hand pressed to spot. 

“Little prince, you done?”

“One second, ye overgrown lizard.”  Soap mumbled and followed the little lines. 

“And you tried to talk to me about modesty.” Simon purred, chest vibrating under Soap’s hand. Soap quickly yanked it back. 

“I am so so sorry. I sho-”

Simon grabbed one of the backpacks, effectively cutting Soap off with a question. “So you brought me stuff?” He tried to get it open but had a problem with the clasp. His hands were comically big compared to it so he couldn’t quite get it to work. Soap gently took it from him so he could get it open. 

He didn’t know what dragons could and couldn’t eat, so it was mostly meat since that was a safe bet. He did bring some bread, cheese, butter, different fruits and… most importantly, rings. 

Dragons love rings. 

And Simon was no exception. He scooped them all up and quickly started putting them on. Only a few of them fit but Simon held all of them close to his chest, clearly thinking of ways he could wear them. “You have any string?”

Soap fished through his bag. “I brought this in case I needed to sew you up?” 

Simon snatched it from his hands and looped all of the rings together so he could wear them as a necklace. He also organized it so they made a rainbow around his neck. 

Soap was fascinated with how the knots were made. Simon butted heads with him once he was done. It was careful, like a cat, and it was clear by the soft purring sound that this was an affectionate gesture. 

Soap felt like he was getting some look into some hidden language. He was being entrusted with something. 

Another thing he was being entrusted with is that Simon was the least picky person he had ever seen. He happily ate everything Soap had. Goat cheese and apples was also a combo he liked. A lot. Simon ate everything Soap had brought which was, again, about two backpacks filled to the brim. 

Soap held it upside down and shook it. “Seems I’m all out.” 

Simon hummed and stretched, looking tired. He started to close his eyes. Already, the wound had started to look better. 

“Let me bandage it and then I’ll be back tomorrow to check it.”

“If I’m here.”

“If you’re here, I’ll bring more food.” Soap promised. 

Simon looked up at him from the dusty hay. He narrowed his eyes and his pupils had slid to slits.

Soap leaned over him so he could get to his wound again. Unlike before, Simon didn’t make it easy for him. He was deadweight and half covering the wound.

“C’mon, ya little flame.” Soap gritted out and Simon gasped at him. “Move your ass.”

“How dare you call my flame little.” Simon did twist so Soap could get to the wound. He started to bandage it and put some extra tape over it in case he moved a lot.

Soap patted his side like he was a horse that had been particularly good that day. “Don’t be so difficult next time and I’ll say it’s big yeah?” 

Simon growled but most of the initial fear was already gone. It was funny. Soap felt like they just… clicked. Being around this dragon in the woods felt strangely normal. 

So he came again the next day with more food. He ignored that there were a couple more bones in the bone pile. They had been picked clean at least, nothing there to rot. 

Simon still looked human. Other than the giant wings of course. He sat up, stretching and shaking himself out. “Little prince!”

“Little Flame.”

“That’ll do.” Simon turned on his back, feeling the heat from the sun on his stomach. 

Soap smiled and went to his side, checking under the bandages. Accelerated healing was not a joke. Without those pieces making it worse, already things were starting to look better. 

Simon threw one of the bags at him and sat up. “Hungry.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Soap opened it and handed it back over. Simon happily started to eat as Soap continued to look at the wound. If he watched closely, he could see some of the skin stitching together. “Fascinating.” 

Simon hummed. “Thank you. We have to have pretty intense healing abilities.”

“I brought you something extra special this time.”

Simon perked up, excited. That excitement was immediately ruined by Johnny throwing pants at him. “Seriously? Does the naked human form offend you that much?”

“Yes.”

Simon grumbled but he slid them on. They were leather, from the guard’s wing, and tight. He twisted himself and Soap could hear it tense and pop before something in them tore. Luckily, it seemed to just be a few threads because Simon relaxed and he was still covered. 

He continued to happily eat everything he could. There’s this soft and sweet air about him. Gentle. What an odd thought. 

Simon looked over at him, mouth full of food. He grinned stupidly. “Why are dragons so amazing at making music?”

Soap frowned. “I didn’t know you guys were good at music.”

“It’s because we really know our scales.” 

Johnny blinked before laughing. “Seriously? Didn’t expect you to be a joking person.” 

Simon shrugged and looked a little rueful. “Maybe I should’ve let you think I was cool a little longer.” He stretched and smiled before settling next to Johnny. The day had started to get cold so the dragon’s body heat was pleasant against him. 

Simon continued to eat his snacks as Soap just soaked in his presence. 

“It must be weird.” Simon started, tracing Johnny’s spine. “Having no wings. Do you ever feel off balance?”

Johnny shivered. “What?”

“Does your back look naked without wings?”

“No?”

Simon hummed and tried to lift up Johnny’s shirt. “Then what do you look like?” 

“I… um…” 

He tugged at his clothes. “Let me just see!”

“No!!” Johnny was aghast. He didn’t know why this scandalized him quite so much. He had went shirtless around tons of people. Whether it was just that Simon was… Simon or maybe that he was being asked, it felt different. 

Simon groaned. “I’ve never gotten a good look at a human before! You’re so… fragile. Your little heartbeat is thumping so loud.”

Johnny had never ever been so utterly offended. “Fragile??”

“Your heart is so loud but you look… you know. Soft.”

“Soft??”

“Yeah. Soft.” Simon grabbed his hand and put it to his chest. “See. I’m hard. You have give.” He wasn’t wrong. There was hard muscle and his skin wasn’t quite as soft. It felt a tiny bit like a snake’s skin even though it looked like human skin. 

Johnny could not believe he was being shamed by a dragon for his physique. He was not soft!! Was he?? 

“It’s not bad. I like it. Never really looked at a human properly. Your skin is also softer.” Simon touched Johnny’s inner wrist, gently feeling his skin. “Really soft. It’s nice.”

Johnny felt like he was going to melt from the heat. Yeah. The heat. Had to be. “Thanks.”

“Why do you humans consider us divine?”

“I guess it’s the fact you can shift between forms. Touch the clouds.” Johnny didn’t really have a solid answer.

“Clouds? Really? What do you think they feel like?” Simon sounded amused, but he was staring at him. His giant brown eyes staring into Johnny’s soul like he’d give him an answer worth listening to. 

Johnny hesitated because Simon knew what they felt like. He tried really hard to guess right. “Like cotton?”

Simon smiled. “Nope. Cold and kinda spiky. They’re full of ice crystals.”

“What??”

“Yep.”

Johnny frowned. “I don’t believe you.”

Simon hummed. “I could show you?”

Johnny was expecting a couple of things from this. Maybe something a little romantic. Not for Simon to grab him by his ankle and throw him several feet in the air like he weighed less than a stuffed animal. Before he got a chance to scream or start to fall, Simon was right next to him, batting him further up into the air. It was easily the most frightening thing he had ever experience. The giant dragon that was flying at him at mach speed wasn’t helping. 

Once he was above the trees, Simon snapped him up in his jaws and flew straight up until he found a cloud. He went straight above it and 

Fucking 

Dropped

Him. 

Johnny did scream this time as he plummeted through the cloud. Simon followed him luckily and grabbed him properly this time. With his arms. He had shifted back to be human and Johnny had zero clue if he could fly in this condition. They spiraled down together and Johnny worried for just a moment that Simon would crash them to the ground before his wings came out, catching the breeze. He spun them around so fast that Johnny knew the only thing keeping him from getting dizzy was Simon’s eyes boring into his own. 

Then he was sent flying back up in the air and Simon shifted back, grabbing and landing on to the trees. Johnny was put on his back as he moved just above the tree line. 

He was trying desperately to catch his breath, both full of fear and… exhilaration. That was pretty fun. Maybe his family was right about this adrenaline junky thing. 

Johnny kept trying to catch his breath as Simon got them safely on the ground. 

“Tell me, do you feel like that was a spiritual experience?”

Johnny took a deep breath. “Yeah. A little.” 

“Come back tomorrow.” Simon smiled at him. 

“Yeah. I will…” Johnny did come. Every day for weeks. Simon was his little secret. 

One day, Johnny was very surprised to find Simon jumping around when he got back. He was very skilled. The way he managed to easily go from the floor to the roof and back to the floor of the farm house. His wings followed along his body, flashing gorgeously. 

Johnny watched him for a few minutes until Simon noticed him. 

“All healed!” 

“Oh! That’s good.” 

Oh no. Now would be the perfect time for him leave. 

“Now I could take you flying properly. Not the sloppy stuff from before.” Simon grinned at him. 

Johnny nodded, already excited. “I’d love to.” 

Simon smiled brightly. The sun in his smile. Gorgeous. God he was so gorgeous. He shifted like smoke, sliding underneath Soap and between his legs. When he sat up, Johnny grabbed on to his neck, perched on his back. It didn’t seem quite as scary, even when Simon stood up and he was several feet in the air, because he had Simon solid beneath him. 

Simon took off and went high up in the air. His wings spread out wide and as he glided, Johnny could feel the air rushing through his hair. It felt so soft.

“This is so much better!” Johnny yelled at him and Simon only purred in response, lifting up slightly. It started to get cold so he pressed closer to his warm body. Simon spun again as he descended, going in lazy circles around and around and around. 

Flying ended too soon. Part of him never ever wanted to leave the air. But his feet were planted back on earth. 

Johnny looked at Simon and Simon looked back. It felt different than his subjects. Less respectful but more understanding. Simon understood something about Johnny he didn’t quite understand about himself. 

“Thank you.” Johnny said softy, afraid if he was too loud, Simon might take flight and disappear. 

“You healed me. Not the other way around.”

Johnny had a feeling Simon did somehow. He just wasn’t sure how yet. 

They were so close. So very, very close. 

Simon pulled back just a little. “I want…” He looked at his lips. “I…”

“Yes.” Johnny said softly. 

Simon kissed him. Soft and sweet. It felt like a first kiss. The first of many hopefully. He tasted like cinnamon. His hands held Johnny closer. Staying firmly on his waist. 

Johnny cupped his jaw and finally got to touch his hair. Felt like silk strands. Like they’d run through his fingers. He wanted to cry for some odd reason. Happiness was fickle. Fleeting. And he knew if Simon ever left him, it would feel like the end of everything. End of something. End of Johnny maybe. 

Simon panted against his mouth, their breath still mingling. “My little Prince.”

“My Dragon.” 

Simon grinned before diving back in. Johnny would’ve went further. Would’ve let Simon take him against the floor of the old barn. But Simon didn’t. He just kissed him until too much time had passed.

Johnny found himself on the floor of the barn, the dragon pressing him down. The place started to feel warm and he smelled burning hay. He shoved Simon back to see that he was in fact burning the hay around Johnny’s head. Luckily, it was very careful and controlled. 

“Sorry. Forgot to control it.”

Johnny flushed brightly, watching Simon just breath. Every exhale meant a little bit of smoke came out of his nose and muddying the air between them even more. He kissed him again. Couldn’t help himself. 

They kept kissing until Johnny needed to leave. As he was pulling away, Simon still kept following and kissing him. His lips, his jaw, his fingers. 

“I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Simon’s eyes smoldered through him. Burned him alive. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

The farmhouse was empty.

Johnny stood in the door, watching the empty home. Simon was probably just hunting. 

He sat at the front of it, reimagining the kiss over and over again. He kept thinking about it all night. 

Night fell. 

It fell and Simon wasn’t there.

Johnny kept waiting. He just kept waiting. 

Don’t cry. 

Just don’t cry yet.

Johnny heard his knights find him. 

He started crying. 

His body hurt. He didn’t want to look at the ground in case his heart was there. Blood smeared on the ground. 

Had Simon ripped it out when he left? Or did Johnny when he offered it to Simon? 

Naively. Horribly. He just offered it to a God and expected that God to look at him and think he was worthy of his attentions. His knights brought him home and he left his heart in that farmhouse. 

[genericpuff]

welp, this kinda sucks

I'm currently at odds with the PC that I got a couple months ago, it's started freezing and soft-resetting randomly for seemingly no reason. It would usually be after hours of use that I could chalk up to the memory overloading, but now it's happening as soon as I boot up the frigging thing. And just to make it clear how much I've done on my own to diagnose the problem, our attempts to fix it have included the following:

Limiting startup applications

Running virus / malware scans

Swapping out display monitors

Updating the GPU drivers

Setting a lower overclock profile in the BIOS settings

Swapping out power cables and outlets to check for power surges

So far none of these things have worked and if anything, the issue has just gotten worse in the last two days. Like, it can barely make it to the startup screen sometimes, despite the memory and CPU usage being >20%, there is zero reason it would be the PC overclocking itself just from startup.

(and no, it doesn't even compel me, i'm just annoyed to shit LOL)

So I dropped it off with the guy who built it (he runs an electronics / pawn shop downtown that's very reputable and well-known so it's not like I don't trust him or anything, he's been building PC's for people in the area for years) and it's now in his care for the next day or two while he tries to isolate the problem. Right now the only thing I can imagine being the problem is the power supply or my display monitor, which is my old Huion Kamvas 22 Plus that still works as a monitor, just not a drawing tablet - but if something's still fucking around in the tablet, it could be causing problems through the PC, maybe.

When I dropped it off with the guy, he went and set it up in his office and came out and told me that so far it seemed to be running just fine, when he asked me if I was doing anything specific I told him it was crashing even after startup so I gave him permission to overclock the shit out of it, run 53879205893 browser tabs, run my games, software, anything he needed to do to push it to its limits and see if he could replicate the problem.

I am terrified if it has to do with the motherboard, because that will be an expensive replacement that will also potentially lead to losing files / installations / etc. depending on how big an issue it is. It could also potentially be Windows 11 having a hissy fit especially seeing as how it's freezing up on startup, but doesn't freeze on the BIOS screen when it loads up in safe-mode after hard resets, so something is clearly happening between the hard boot-up and the startup of Windows 11 itself.

Thankfully I do have Google Drive sync support and plenty of external HDD's that I can back my stuff up to, but with the freezing and restarting getting as bad as it's been, I haven't been able to back anything up, and I don't want to risk doing it manually if it'll just freeze and potentially corrupt my files in the process. So I told the guy to call me if he needed to mess with anything concerning the system storage so that, if he could at least keep it running stable in the shop, then I could swing by and get everything I needed synced up safely before he messes around with anything.

It could also very well have something to do with the power supply itself, the house that I occupy the main floor of isn't exactly built with electric optimization in mind, we've had fuses blow on us before just from running the hair dryer at the same time as the TV, so if it's something to do with the PC drawing too much power for the electrical system here to keep up with, either (hopefully) the guy will be able to instruct me on how to lower and manage that power intake through the PC's BIOS (I believe you can but I'm still a massive noob on custom builds and I don't want to go tinkering with it myself) or, idk, maybe I'll have to get my landlord to drop by again with his electrician and check out the fuses to make sure they're all operating properly. I'm not an electrician either, so fuck if I know at this point what could be going on. I feel like it can't be the house itself because everything else is running fine and it's just become a recent issue, but our city's power grid is also not exactly praised for being good at its job, especially not in the winter.

So yeah, I'm a little - well, a lot - stressed right now, but all I can really do at this point is wait. Fortunately, I have my iPad and also remembered that I still have my old PC, so I've hooked it up, at best if the problem repeats itself on this PC then I'll know it has to do with the display monitor, at worst I'll just be stuck working with my clunky old hardware for a couple days, which is annoying, but it'll get the job done. Fortunately I had the newest episode of Rekindled uploaded to the cloud in Clip Studio so I can still download it and work on it, which was my biggest worry when everything started to go belly-up (next to just, like, having a working PC).

Sooooo yeah. It's annoying, but I'm hoping for the best. Send good vibes y'all, I really could use it rn, between this and slow traffic at work and some other personal shit that's been going on, it's been a shitty few days (╥﹏╥)

And yeah, I'll keep y'all updated on if it affects this week's update, it really shouldn't honestly as most of the work left is doable from both my iPad and PC, but obviously at this point anything can happen so if anything has to be postponed or changed to accommodate the current situation, I'll update y'all as soon as I can! Thanks everyone, y'all are the best, wish me luck <3