#cause I just. fuck I don’t wanna be the weirdo that shows up in a fucking mask ok

[bastardcherub]

honestly it would probably do me Really good to get off of social media and seek queer community in person but I’m fucking Scared. it used to feel so easy. idk what changed

[sweeneydino]

IM OBSESSED WITH UR CROSSOVER IDEA, BUT I GOTTA ASK QUESTIONS

1: When Donnie grows to be 14-16, does that mean his bros are gonna be 30? Or does time work diffrently? (Ex: Time works 4x faster in RISE universe)

2: When did Danny adopt Don? In guessing somewhere from year 2012 since that prob when he died

3: you mentioned that RISE!Donnie and Don become friends, just what is the age difference exactly?

4: How would the brother reunite? (If they do) do they accidentoy get thrown into the dimension and be like “ah nit this again and find Don? Or will they meet their other versions and itll go like this:

“Oh that Don, the mafias son-“

“DONNIE?”

(sorry if this a lot pf questions and you don't wanna spoil/ don’t have this planned out, im just rlly excited. No pressure to answer)

GVAJSUSYBS IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT!

Honestly, the AU was for anyone who wanted to pick it up cause I'm not known for staying on top of things, but I'm happy to answer any questions anyway susnwkjs!

1) They will srill be the same age. Fortunately, time isn't all that different, well sorta. Donnie, despite dying around 2012 or so(the timeline is a mess, fuck time travel) would've been reincarnated to around 2002-2004 in the Rise Universe. So when they eventually go to get Donnie, it would've been only a few months since his death, but in the rise universe, he's been there his whole life.

So I suppose a better answer would be, fuck it we ball. Or really, they went to the future (~ ._.)~

2) Danny adopted Don in 2002-2003. Why? Cause I've made enough angst aus for my liking 😔

3) Don is older by 2 years. So Donatello looks up to him.

4)They do reunite! :D I'm not sure what specifically since I have many ideas on how, most include April if not, then Donatello doing something silly to show how amazing he is. Either way, when they get there, it won't be easy, obviously, since Don was raised there and is not gonna believe these random weirdos that look like him and come and tell him he doesn't belong there. The kid probably has enough imposter syndrome.

Although...

I do think this is funny.

Feel free to add to this AU! It would be greatly appreciated ehjekwuw

[stari-hun]

Medicine Pocket and Mesmer Jr Siblongcy

Here’s why everyone should adopt Medicine Pocket and Mesmer Jr chosen siblinghood.

Certified @anonymocha cult memberrrrrr, go check out their post on Mesmer and MedPocket HEREEEEE

The short? Lives life like a wounded dog and HALLO NEW DOG AT THE DOGGY DAYCARE? FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The long is that Mesmer Jr is a deeply unwell character who’ll live with the consequences of Constantine conditioning her for the rest of her life. Constantine conditioned Mesmer to be near completely dependent on her despite the fact that she’s the source of majority of the trauma she goes through. From her graduating class dying, putting her in the rehab center so young, letting her near there at an even YOUNGER stage, basically training her to make her arcanum solely focus on something that’s actively hurting her. Even if Mesmer was taken away from Constantine, she would go back to her because in a world she was purposefully not taught to cope in, Constantine is a comfort. Even if she’s the cause, Constantine makes everything in order again for her. Trauma responses don’t have to be rational and Mesmer shows that. At the end of the day, Mesmer is closer to a wounded dog than a person.

LUCKY FOR HER HER CLASSMATE LOVES DOGS

Mesmer Jr who's used to being able to blend into the background next to Vertin and the others.

Medicine Pocket who goes up to Vertin’s group to ask if they wanna go run around in the grass. Medpocket and Vertin who run around for a while and then Sonetto joins them, then Matilda before noticing someone's still on the benches near the buildings. So they go up to Mesmer like “:D Why aren’t you coming with us, are you injured or something??” (We both know medicine pocket’s rude ass was absolutely a no filter child) and Mesmer Jr who already has anxiety up until that point esp around strangers, avoids talking to MedPocket.

Mesmer Jr who gets confused why this person is randomly talking to her, and even more so why they're so rude.

Medicine Pocket who refuses to give up on making everyone in the friend group accept them “I gotta be apart of the pack!”

Mesmer Jr who tried to avoid getting caught in the whirlwind of energy Medpocket stirs up in the group.

Medicine Pocket who notices assigns an animal (fursona) to everyone in the group and realizes Mesmer is the most like a dog in the group [Vertin is a cat (friendly but never truly tamable) , Sonetto is a Fox (sorry Pupnetto), and Matilda is a bird]

Mesmer Jr who just as on guard as MedPocket is observant and always looks over the group to check everyone is still there.

Medicine Pocket who approaches Mesmer like a scared dog: always alerting when they’re coming close, offering snacks, making sure to sit in their group during lunch time.

Mesmer Jr who's wary but still a kid like all of the others and accepts their snacks. Barely registering as MedPocket started taking the seats farthest from them in the group while still talking to her.

Medicine Pocket who tries sitting next to Mesmer while the others play outside again before noticing she seems too uncomfortable that close to a stranger

Mesmer Jr who's still jumpy around strangers but is slowly warming up to this weird kid.

Medicine Pocket who then tests how close they can get without her feeling threatened by a stranger (it’s Medpoc sitting on the ground on the other side of the bench)

Mesmer Jr who doesn't notice the way Medpocket is getting closer each day but feels something is off.

Medicine Pocket who spends weeks getting closer each day talking to her as she listens until she doesn’t even notice them getting closer each day (it’s literally only 20cm closer)

Mesmer Jr who's already integrated Medicine Pocket into her schedule without realizing their chaos brings her a weird sense of peace.

WRAHHHHHHHHHHH WEIRDO SIBLING DUOOOOO

Unwell genius duo, the MeMe siblings. Mesmer Jr unironically gained coping with her anxiety despite Constantine exasperating it via Therapy Dog. (Years later, after Vereinsamt, Vertin comments about how she got a therapy dog and Mesmer bites back about Pupnetto.) Mesmer Jr has uncurable anxiety which she herself knows is too bad to be around others that stress her out, but if she grew up with MEDPOCKET?? I just know she'd be much more comfortable in the world cause she has another rock besides Constantine. On top of it, if that person was MEDPoCKET? Resident biter, literally ate their rulebook, their office sign has bitemarks, and they threatened to bite Laplace's DIRECTOR. Medicine Pocket is the perfect chaos to calm Mesmer down. Medicine Pocket IS an irrational arcanist but they make sense and they're very caring and considerate to their friends which is why they're so close in the main storyline. Mesmer isn't the slightest bit uncomfortable around them so if they GREW UP TOGETHER? Mocha by god I think you cracked the code cause this feral therapy dog is about to save Mesmer Racism Jr from so many bad habits and hurt later on. They'd really be each other's comfort and chaos and I love that for them.

Constantine : It's time for your internship with the rehab center, Mesmer Jr. Medicine Pocket, stanced up after sensing she's having a panic attack at the idea of going : 👁️👁️

[thechillsquid]

Blind Eyes Au- Demon Stuff

Okay, so like, I am hyped cause folk wanna hear more of this shit so here we go!

So in a sense the summer precedes in an adjacent manner to canon, but ya know, Fidds and Bill hang out around the shack most the time as well otherwise they’re at the bunker which Fidds has been using as a sorta base of operations so him and Stan don’t gotta drag some shit in and outta the shack that would possibly attract unwanted attention

Fidds adjusts easily to the kids being around and certainly knows how to handle them better than Stan does, and the kids like him well enough cause he’s kinda a lunatic but less in a blunt criminal manner (I mean sure the kids come around to Stan and become mini criminals by the end of the summer, but they did discuss whether or not to dip out the window and report Stan to the FBI when they first got there soooo)

And admittedly, while Fidds has a much closer relationship to Tate in this au, just cause he’s got his head on right and kinda realizes yeeeesssh I did kinda sorta make a robot to go on a rampage after the divorce and that’s probably not healthy at all—

Certainly Fidds and his ex-wife did some talking behind the scenes, and while it’s unlikely he’d gain custody officially, cause you know, giant death robots, Tate probably started visiting in his later teen years and eventually settled down in Gravity Falls later on after moving about for a bit

Which speaking of Tate, techncially speaking Bill is his kinda sorta step-father? They don’t talk like at all but they got a mutual respect thing going on and probably just like sit and fish sometimes, which leads to Bill rambling about random bullshit while Tates just nodding along, and that’s kinda that

So you know what, yeah if Bill’s not around the shack, not with Fidds or Stan, he’s probably at the lake just hanging out with his ‘stepson’ which is oddly kinda weirdly wholesome now that I think about it?

Like Bill really changes in the 30 year timespan working on the portal and I’m not sure whether or not to just jump about that timeline to showcase how exactly that builds or whether to make Blind Eyes a multi-chapter, multi-work based thing

Meh, either way Bill certainly has chilled out in the sense of malicious chaos, though the guys still a complete and utter freak; dude really got treated like just another person and it made him realize how much he actually kinda liked that rather than straight up worship/fear and he kinda actually started hanging out with his henchmanics when not on earth (aka when things get a bit much and he’s gotta unwind or when he gets really fucking bored) and actually becomes friends with the group

Its kinda weird the snowball effect of that, like all these weirdos in the nightmare realm are used to instability and running amok and then their boss comes back and instead of the usual unhinged rants and low key threats of killing any of them if they step out of line, he very slowly but surely just starts… actually hanging out and talking with them? And its kinda weird? But they’ve all just been burning themselves out and it’s like, huh, this isn’t… that bad? Like yes, they’re still a bunch of intergalatical criminals but how long can you stand always having to go go go?

Like just that sounds tiring, and well, Bill was the first one to realize how fucking tired he was of it, like it takes a couple fucking decades for him to even say nice things to Stan or Fidds openly, but he gets there and it’s weird but it’s not too shabby

So like when the kids show up for that summer? Bill has no clue what to do with them, he’s glad they’re aren’t like babies and can actually move around and think, but he also doesn’t know how to act around them

He’s gotten used to the shack and the shack has used to him and now when he walks in there’s two tiny Pines there and the one kid reminds him of Ford and sure he’s figured awhile back that he really hurt that guy but it’s not like he can find the guy cause he’s been just running about the multiverse and—

Then he just has to walk away and take a breather. He hates emotions, has gotten used to expressing them, but now the kids remind him how much is actually at stake now. Goes became somewhat of a background thought and Bill realizes fiercely that he’s done what he always does when things go wrong, pushes it to the back of his mind and try to forget

This playing house with Fidds and Stan has been occupying his thoughts and keeping his mind away from Ford and all That. So yeah, he avoids the kids for a bit when they first arrive until Stan corners the weirdo and tell him to fucking buck up or stay in the bunker cause so help him he wants these kids to feel welcome and Bill slinking around like a nervous Hide-Behind isn’t helping

As time goes on he starts helping the kids out with their mysteries (aka I’m something with bigger teeth than the fuckers out here and if something tries anything it’ll be the last thing they do) and eventually he gets comfortable hanging around the shack

Progress keeps on with the portal and sure he suspects the kids might know he’s not exactly human but that’s fine because for now they seem to trust that he won’t hurt anyone (that he cares about at least; Gideon finds himself getting chased by a terrifyingly large wolf with glowing yellow eyes when starts trying to flirt with Mabel until Stan gets onto Bill about taking away his fun. If anyone’s going to torment the little weirdo it’ll be Stan)

And then Gideon summons Bill, the kids start having suspicions, and the triangle fuck avoids them again for the next few weeks until the kids track him down and demand answers

He gives the most watered down, vague answers, but for once it’s not all lies so that’s got to count for something

The portal opening throws a whole new shift to things and that in itself forces the bastard to think and think hard about what he really wants now after the one goal he’s been working towards for so long has been completed

He probably tries to drink his problems away and ends up crawling through one of the shack windows to raid the kitchen, him and Ford probably end up staring at each other and Bill almost gets shot trying to drunk ramble apologies

Its a total trainwreck

[anxiousaster]

My snack

A Rocket Raccoon x reader fanfic(gn pronouns)

You were one of those people around the middle. Sometime sharing a snack with someone you like was possible and other times you would cut someone’s hand if they got near your food.

Recently y’all just found something similar to your favorite sweet and it wasn’t exactly cheep. However despite the price you had grabbed a few and had been slowly rationing it until you had about one left. Tonight was the final episode of the season for your favorite show. You were so excited.....until when you opened the cabinet in the kitchen it was gone. You thought maybe you had misplaced it, so you ended up opening every cabinet looking for it.

“The hell you doing” a certain sarcastic raccoon said.

“Looking for my sna-“you paused looking at what Rocket had in his hand.

“Why the hell you are you looking at me like a damn demon possessed you”.

“Quick question, what’s in your hand”?

“Uhh, a wrapper”.

“Can I see it for a sec”!

“Why ya wanna see a damn wrapper you weirdo”.

You grab the wrapper and yep it’s the same one for your snack. You look at Rocket and he immediately runs out the room. You’re left frozen in kinda of a disappointed shock. Well there goes your snack. You later find out that the show you wanted to watch would be moved to next week. There goes your plans. Feeling defeated you decide to go to the front of the ship and just look at the stars while listening to music. You sit there for a minute or two before Quill takes notice of your mood.

“What’s going on”?

“Rocket ate the last of my snack and then ran away right before I could confront him, and my show got pushed to next week”.

“Dammmmn”

“Yep, so as you can tell I’m a little pissed”.

“Ya I would be to......so how you gonna get Rocket back”.

“What”?

“Get him back, ya know he did something to you, you do something back”.

“How did I not think to do that”.

“Well there has to be some smart people in the world”

“I know which is why I’m shocked you came up with and not me”.

“Ouch, this is what I get for helping you”.

“Ya kinda”you say as you walk off.

“Just don’t blow a hole in the ship or start a fire”.

“No promises”.

Now how to get him back. You could always eat his food, but it normally isn’t all that tasty. You could maybe take something of him. Actually no cause he’d blow your face off. Oh wait you could prank him, nothing to extreme of course, but a good prank should get him back. Now how to prank him? Drax walk in on you coming up with your evil plan.

“What are you doing”?

“Just trying to think of a way to prank Rocket”.

“Why”?

“Cause he ate my food and ran away before I could confront him”.

“Listen I didn’t know it was yours ok” a frustrated raccoon said.

“Ya you just see a pice of food that had a sticky note that said do not eat and you eat it”.

“There wasn’t no damn sticky note”!

Drax’s face shifted to a oh I fucked up look as Rocket spoke. You look down at his arm and notice a colorful sheet of paper on it.

“Hey Drax did you by chance grab the sticky note on my snack”?

“No I would never” he says as Rocket pulls off the note.

“Well if ya didn’t then how did this get on your arm”?

Drax then stood there frozen not saying anything. You both just stared at him until you noticed something.

“Also why do you have chili on your pants”?

“Wait your the one that are my damn chili”!?

Drax than ran off, booking it down the hall before y’all could say anything else.

“What the hell he just ran off before we could yell at him”.

“Doesn’t that seem familiar” you said with a hint of sarcasm in your voice.

“Hey like I said at the time it had no note on it”.

“Fair but you still made me mad sooooo I’m gonna get ya back for it”.

“How is that fair, there was no damn sticky note like you said”.

“I don’t know maybe the fact that I refused to let anyone else even try it may have been a hint”.

“You act like I pay attention to how you react on food”.

“Well you obviously did when you ran off before I could ask about the wrapper”.

“Get off my ass will ya, I didn’t know it was yours, you lost a sweet and I lost my chili, that’s about as fair as it gets”.

You just stared at him with a blank face.

“Listen I’ll get you so more when we go back ok”.

“Naw”.

“You mean to tell me you made that big of a fuss to just brush it off”.

“One isn’t that what you wanted and two I still want them but make Drax pay for them”.

“Alright that seems reasonable enough”.

[what-gs-watching]

"HOW GREAT IS THIS PARTY?!"

So here’s a thing: I’ve been in a bit of a rut in terms of what I’m watching. I’ve clearly been doing a ton of comfort binging - Supernatural, Good Omens, Murder She Wrote, etc. because I can’t get my brain to focus on anything, I’ve just been trying (and very much succeeding) at turning it off.

But the other day, my sister came to the rescue. She and I definitely have different opinions on what’s good (again, she got all the way through Good Omens, and was like “I never got a romantic vibe from them…” which caused the biggest eyeroll of my life, possibly). Sometimes, though, she comes through. Which led me to…

THE AFTERPARTY on Apple TV.

You’ve never heard of it, right? Because I definitely hadn’t. Which is crazy because I am 10000000% their core audience. Like, so hard. And it’s soooo good.

Wherein a group of friends attend an afterparty, and somebody ends up dead. 

This is one show I don’t wanna ruin, because I had absolutely no idea what would happen going into it and it was SO delightful, so I won’t get too detailed but there is a ton to love about this show.

One of which is the cast. 

Tiffany Haddish is the detective that’s attempting to solve the murder. And sometimes I feel like she's wayyyyy too much, but she is the perfect amount of something in this show. Honestly one of my favorite parts. She’s fucking hilarious. Her method is insane and perfect, it’s exactly the way I’d go about solving a murder, and it’s just enough of ridiculous.

And Ike Barinholtz! And the dude who plays Gabe on The Office. AND JACK WHITEHALL, aka freakin’ NEWT from Good Omens season 1. Who you will absolutely not recognize because he’s hot as hell. And Ken Jeong. And John Cho! And weirdo Dave Franco. 

ALSO, Ben Schwartz, aka JEAN RALPHIO from Parks and Rec! Jean Ralphio is one of my absolute favorite insane characters, he’s so obnoxious and silly and his character Yasper in this show is similar, but also really charming. I was immediately in love with him because I’m a super weirdo, and his episode in the first season was definitely a highlight. I promise you’re gonna be singing “Yeah, Sure, Whatever” for a couple of days.

And that’s another thing - each of the episodes have their own motifs, which is clever and fun. A romcom episode, a musical episode. An episode that seems like a thriller movie. A heist caper. There’s even one that’s a fucking Wes Anderson love letter, which made me laugh out loud. 

Each season is dedicated to a murder and both are self-contained, which I appreciate, with a few characters recurring. Maybe people more clever than me can predict who the murderer is, but I have to say, I love the surprise. And both of them were definitely a shock to me. I was basically live-tweeting at my sister, who’d also gotten my parents into it,  while I watched and made her promise ‘no spooooilies’, so all she would say was “none of us could guess who did it.” 

The point is, it’s just a dope show. Again, satisfying my blood lust, but in a hilarious way. It’s FUN. And I haven’t been excited to watch anything new in a while, and it helped in my effort to wake my brain up (if only minutely, it’s an effing process y’all). Apple TV apparently canceled it after the second season which is a huge miss on their part, but there are no cliffhangers and it’s just silly and wonderful. And it made me happy, which I appreciate. 

So yeah, go watch it. You know you’re subscribed to Apple TV even if you forgot about it after Ted Lasso ended. And then, maybe watch Ted Lasso again…

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

The Whole Nine Yards - a Malevolent standalone fic

A brief moment between Arthur Lester, brand-new P.I., and Parker Yang, handling a unique client.

AO3

-------------------

Arthur was new to detective work. At least, he was new to official detective work, but even so, he was pretty sure it didn’t usually go like this.

“Are… are they going to come out?” he said, staring at their utility closet.

Parker—seated in the squeaky office chair, rocking it and fiddling with a pen—shrugged. “Gotta eat sometime.”

Arthur stared at him.

Parker sighed. “They came in before I got a chance to warn you. Sorry. Okay, sit down, English. Time to learn the whole nine yards.”

“The whole nine yards? They came in about missing jewelry.”

“Time to learn the difference between cases, charity cases, hard cases, and fucking crackpots.”

Arthur sat down.

Mister and Missus Barton screamed at each other in the closet, flipping occasionally into terrible Brooklyn-kissed French, all words muffled.

Parker clearly did not fear their violence. “Right, so. Cases, you got. That’s your basic need. Following cheating spouses, digging into embezzlement, all that shit.”

“Hunting witches.” Arthur said, deadpan.

They both laughed. There were no witches, as they both well knew, but they’d sure been hired twice to find one. Arkham sure had some weirdos. “Yeah, anyway,” said Parker. “Charity cases—”

“I can guess,” said Arthur. “Mrs. Hudson, last week.”

“Right. They need help, can’t pay for it, and that doesn’t qualify them to get help, but sometimes…”

“Sometimes, you have to be a decent human being and swallow the cost,” Arthur said, jaw set.

Parker’s lips quirked. “I like it when you get high-horsey, English.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“No, no, it’s a good look on you. Do it again.”

Arthur reached into his pocket and tossed Parker a penny. “For your jokes. I hate to see a comedian in the gutter.”

“You wound me, English.” Parker pocketed the penny anyway. “Right. Hard cases… they’re tough. They’re like charity cases, and they really fucking need help, but they bring pride into it. These guys… you gotta handle careful-like, if you’re gonna help ‘em at all.”

Arthur fondled his tie a little, thoughtful, completely unaware of how Parker followed the movement of his long, clever fingers. “That sounds rough.”

“It is. You wanna help, but they’re just so… proud. They won’t tell you everything, or they lie with important details to save face, or they swear they’ll pay you and cause a serious fuss over trying to do it. They’re a choice. Gotta consider carefully before you take those cases, because they almost always end up costing more than your time.”

“All right. So far, so good.” Arthur grinned. “Will there be a test, professor?”

“Depends. You gonna cheat for a better grade?” said Parker, smooth, low, really trying.

Arthur laughed like he’d said something innocent. “Of course I will. Anyway, go on.”

Parker got on. “Fucking crackpots. They come in different flavors. This here’s one.” He jerked his thumb at the closet, where the fighting had calmed down to… other sounds that were not fighting.

Arthur went beet red. “What the fuck?”

“Don’t worry. They’re clothed in there,” said Parker. “It’s all for show, anyway.”

“What the fuck?” said Arthur, recoiling in his crappy, creaky chair.

“These two come in here every�� I dunno, couple months, or so? They claim they got a case. Something important was stolen and they’re both blaming the other for selling it behind their back, or they’re accusing each other of sleeping with the maid—”

“Both accusing?” said Arthur.

“Come on, Mister Music Scene, keep up with the times,” said Parker, grinning. “Thought you’d seen 'every combination that could be plugged or partied.’”

Arthur cleared his throat. “It’s not the act that threw me. It’s making a public accusation like that. They could get themselves thrown in jail.”

“Only if coppers find out, and nobody’s telling them nothing,” said Parker, who had many reasons not to like cops. “Thing is, most crackpots? They don’t need our help. They just want attention, and they’ll make shit up and even be willing to pay us to get it. Though I suggest not taking them. Too easy to uncover some real shit while you’re at it.”

“And they’re insane,” said Arthur helpfully. “Sometimes violent?”

“You ain’t wrong. These guys, though? These two come in here with a reason to fight. They present a made-up story to me—us, now—then they start fighting with each other. It’s part of the performance.”

“Performance.” Arthur stared.

Parker leaned forward, chair creaking, unblinking. “They get off on being observed. Seen. It’s a public kink.”

“So they fight in front of you… then make up in front of you? So to speak?” Arthur said, voice cracking.

“And for that, we get the full twenty-five dollars.”

Arthur choked. ���A full day’s work? We didn’t do anything!”

“We did. We witnessed.”

On cue, the door opened. Mrs. Barton was fixing her hair, adjusting her hat and little lace veil to hide the fact that her expensive makeup was completely smeared. Mr. Barton was tugging down his jacket, smoothing his tie, evidently proud of the lipstick stains all over his face and throat.

Arthur choked.

Parker stood up. “So. You still need our help? We’re ready to take the case.”

“No, ah. I think we’ve worked it out between ourselves,” said Mrs. Barton loftily. “Forgiveness is a virtue, after all,” she said as though chiding them for being heartless.

“You sure?” said Parker. “I mean, like I said, it’s all confidential. We don’t need to involve the cops, or papers, or nothing.”

“No,” said Mr. Barton. “I believe the chance to… air our grievances has done us good.”

Arthur wasn’t looking at them. He squinted at the utilities closet, and stood.

“Hmph,” said Mrs. Barton, as if Yang and Lester, Private Investigators had burst into their home and intruded on a vulnerable moment.

Arthur ducked around them and bent down. “Hey, weren’t you fighting over this?” He stood, turned, and held up an emerald earring.

It was stunning. Some ancient Italian family heirloom, tear-drop and framed with diamonds, its twin sat in Mrs. Barton’s purse. Evidently, recent events had dislodged it from a pocket.

“Oh,” said Mr. Barton flatly. “There it is. You see? I didn’t sell it, after all.”

Mrs. Barton stared. “You will give that to me right now.”

“Yes, Missus Barton, ma’am,” said Arthur, face going long, his steel-blue eyes wide and too sincere.

“How dare you handle our family heirloom.” She snatched it.

His face went longer. “Yes, Missus Barton, ma’am.”

“You are a disrespectful young man, and I am displeased,” said Mrs. Barton, but she said it throaty, not at all matching her words.

Somehow, Arthur kept it together. “Yes, Missus Barton, ma’am.”

She sniffed. “I don’t believe we need to return to this place. Let’s go, Albert.”

“Of course, Camille.” Albert Barton took his wife’s arm, and in the first genuine move he’d done since he came in here, winked at Parker and Arthur over his shoulder before escorting her out.

“We didn’t get paid!” said Arthur.

“Check’ll come in the mail. Every damn time. And they’ll be back in about two months.”

Arthur stared after them. They’d begun arguing again on the other side of the frosted glass. “They’re crazy.”

“They’re into what they’re into. That can be hard when it ain’t the kinda thing you see on the silver screen, you know?” said Parker, studying Arthur. “Can’t just do what makes you happy out on the street.”

Arthur didn’t get it. He never did. “Yes, I suppose so,” he said.

Parker sighed.

Beyond the frosted glass, they’d gone from shouting to kissing passionately.

“Next client must be here,” Parker guessed. “Woo-hoo, free show. Gonna have to apologize.”

“I refuse to apologize for their behavior,” said Arthur.

Parker laughed softly. “Pride don’t only come in client-form,” he said, winked (and Arthur didn’t get it), and opened the door to greet their next case.

---------

Notes:

This is the first of a bunch of side-stories we want to put out that are related to Surrogate: The Director's Cut, but don't really belong in the main series. We hope you enjoy. <3 This particular short is connected to Clever

[winderlylandchime]

I honestly can’t believe that we finished the show. And that you all were here to witness it, I don’t know if I should thank you or apologize. I feel like part of me should say thank you for allowing me to spam you. But also thank you for being there with us throughout this time. It was fun to share his stupidity with someone other than our family :)

But I do plan to show him that one Gale interview since he deserves to meet the real man. And the Austin panel thing, i feel like that one might heal him a bit and maybe make him hate cowlip a little less. So i will let you know how that goes (if that is okay with you) And then I’m planning to slowly tell him about all of you guys. I mean you guys have been there for a hot minute, i feel like you deserve to know how he will react to all of you and to Gale. I do think I should ease him into the real people/fandom slowly because idk what he’ll do. Basically im scared to just sit him in front of a computer and going ‘meet tumblr’. Thats too much power for one man. And through the Gale interview he’s gonna learn that he’s straight so I can’t wait for that because he is still convinced he’s gay irl. And tomorrow I’m planning on showing him the gag reels and some of the bts content (the tiny amount of it that exists) so that he can finally see the good side of it all. I wanted to do it today but he was still sad and didn’t wanna do anything. But:

He is still completely heartbroken. He fucking cried to our mom on the phone!!!! He told her what happened and started crying again (light crying!! He is not sobbing anymore) and our mom went ‘WHAT?!’ And then dad joined the call and asked what’s wrong and my brother is crying and i cant get a word in because of him and our mom goes ‘those bastards fucking broke them up at the end’ and my brother starts crying and goes ‘nooOooOooO’ and my dad went ‘those sick sons of bitches’ and that’s all I got to hear cause he took the phone to his room then. But he did come out of the room more calm and collected. I honestly feel like I told a little child the truth about Santa.

And if you were wondering, yes, he did end up calling his therapist. And he told me some of the stuff they talked about but who cares about that. The only part worth mentioning that we were all curious about: he called him, and then there was some silence in his room and then a loud ‘YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME?!’ Came out of the room. And i fucking lost it. I told him i had a suspicion he knew because of that reaction to the finale mention and my brother went *shocked face* ‘that does make sense, i just thought he wanted to talk to me cause he’d miss me. I mean i did think he was a weirdo but who am i to judge’ so safe to say he’s still a bit dumb.

ANON I AM SCREAMING (sorry neighbors!) HIS THERAPIST KNEW THIS ENTIRE TIME?

I knew it! I called it! VINDICATION! (captain holt voice)

I think the Gale interview, and the ATX panel, and the bts (my favorite is the bts for the bashing, obviously) are solid choices to introduce him to the fandom. And then yes, ease him into finding out about us. Because we are definitely going to be a shock and poor bb has been through so much.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO KEEP US UPDATED. You have no idea how much I adore all of this.

Your parents are also the best:

mom goes ‘those bastards fucking broke them up at the end’ and my brother starts crying and goes ‘nooOooOooO’ and my dad went ‘those sick sons of bitches’ I'm dying about this.

[princessconsuela120]

❃ ALYSSA ❃

Chapter five: Walking All Day —❃

Series masterlist

Chapter warnings: mentions of sexual assault, cursing, everything that comes with teotfw and euphoria

Authors note: this one contains sensitive material, read at your own risk. Don’t forget to repost like and comment, enjoy guys!

—❃

“Where are you going?” Fezco asked, making me turn to him with an angry expression.

“Well, we can't drive it, can we?” I asked angrily, making him sigh.

“I might be able to fix it. We can't just leave it.”

As if on queue, the car burst into flames.

“Do you think you can still fix it now?” I asked, making him sigh as I started walking in the other direction.

“What should we do?”

Go home.

“Do you wanna go home?”

Hang on. Does he want to go home?

“You saying you wanna go home?” I asked, tilting my head to show Fezco I was annoyed. “'Cause that's fine, can if you want.”

“No, I don't want to. I was just asking…”

I sighed, turning to Fezco with a frown.

“I don't wanna go home, Fez.”

“But…”

I know he had things back home, he had people. He had his grandma to take care of, and ashtray. I knew he wanted to go home.

“I don't want to go home.” He replied, making me smile softly at him. He smiled back just as sweetly.

“So what do you want to do?”

“I don't know! Why don't you fucking think of something for once?” I lashed out angrily, making Fezco sigh.

So we walked, and walked, and walked all day long until we made our way to a busy road. Fezco had come up with the bright idea of hitchhikking. I hated the idea.

“Why is no one stopping?” He asked, turning to me as I rolled my eyes.

“Probably because you've got your tits out.” I said, earning a defeated look from Fezco. “I'm serious. No one stops for weirdos except other weirdos. And you look like a proper day release.”

And as I stand corrected, a car pulled up.

“You all right?” The man asked, causing my heart to drop as he smiled at us cheekily.

“Hi.”

“I'm heading down south, son, if it's any good to you.” Fezco looked back at me, as if to ask me whether we should go or not.

“Do you want a lift or not?” The man asked urgently, making Fezco decide himself.

“Yeah. Thanks. Come on, then.” He said, opening the door for me as I stared at him blankly. “Come on.”

“I am gonna be so fucked off if we get murdered.” I hissed, angrily getting in the back of the car as Fezco sighed. I can't believe he got in the front.

“Grab us that sweater in the back, there, love. Chuck it down to your boyfriend.” The man said with a cherry expression, causing me to look back at him with a glare.

“Who said he's my boyfriend?” I asked angrily. I could tell I was testing Fezco’s patience by the way he clenched his fists, turning to look at me with an expression that asked please stop, now.

“Are you all right, love?” The man asked, but I didn’t answer. “Is she all right, son?”

“She's fine.”

“You're funny, you. I like you.” The man said, making me take in a deep breath as I looked at the pictures in his car.

“That your dog?”

“Nearly, I'm buying her. She's cute, though, ain't she?” He asked, making me nod.

“Yeah.”

“Not for long, mind. She's a cane corso.”

“What's that?”

“Number 23 on the Top 25 Most Dangerous Dog List. For fighting.”

This asshole was buying a dog to fight it? What a dick.

“They expensive?” I asked, pretending to be interested.

“Just a bit.”

“You know your car smells like feet.” I hissed, though everyone in the car ignored my comment.

“One of the lads had a couple, in Fallujah. They're lethal, I tell ya.”

“You were in the army?” Fez asked, though I wasn’t sure why he was trying to engage with this creep.

“Five years.”

“Cool.”

“So tell me, then, what you two been up to, eh? Come on, I ain't gonna say anything. What's the matter with ya?” He pressed, causing Fezco and I to share a glance.

“Well, we haven't done anything.”

“Sure. I couldn't give a fuck either way, I'm…I'm just making conversation, you know? I'm not a fucking copper. I just thought, you know, you… You might wanna make a phone call to your mum or something. Let her know you're okay.”

“My mum's dead, actually.” Fezco said quickly, making the man go silent.

—❃

We had made our way to a restaurant, Fezco and I awkwardly sitting at a table as the man went to order our food.

“This guy's a prick.” I said, turning to James

“What?”

“He's, like, the worst kind of person.” I explained, making him shrug.

“Shit he seems all right.”

Fezco and his damn kindness.

“Why are you defending him? He's a murderer. He was in the army. He's murdered people. And now he's buying a dog to murder other dogs with.”

But my lecture was cut short as the man came back with our food.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

“Is that your family?” I asked, pointing at the picture in his wallet.

“That's the missus, Liz. Abi. That's Baby Jack”

“Jack looks like a potato.”

All eyes were instantly on me.

“You what, love?” He asked, making me widen my eyes.

“Joke! Joking.” I exclaimed, making everyone laugh fakely. “He looks like a ham. He does, though, doesn't he?” I asked, turning to Fezco who looked up at the man then shook his head.

“No.”

“You guys are so fucking boring.” I grumbled, turning and running from the table.

I hated myself sometimes. For the things I’d say, and why I’d say them. I didn’t understand the way the world worked, or maybe I did and it was everyone else who was Square. I'm bad at apologizing to people, but sometimes I know I should.

“What's going on?” I asked, walking into the bathroom to find Fezco and see him standing next to the man at the toilets, holding his business as they pissed. “Are you gay?” I asked, turning to fezco who shook his head frantically. I wasn’t sure why he let it happen, wether he was afraid, or didn’t know what to do.

“No.”

“It’s okay if you are.”

“I'm not.”

“But you should tell me if you are.”

“I'm not gay.”

“So what are you doing?” I asked, louder this time as I looked between the two, the man getting up to leave. “Where do you think you're going?”

“Well, I... gotta go.The dog's not gonna collect herself, now is she?”

“Gimme your wallet.”

I wasn’t sure where that came from, but I was feeling confident.

“You what?”

“Give me your wallet.” I repeated, but the man just shook his head.

“No. No…”

“Give me your wallet or I swear to fuck I'll go visit Liz and Abi and your weird potato baby, and tell them what you like to do with teenage boys in toilets.”

That was the first time I had ever threatened anyone; I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not.

“You wouldn't do that.”

“I'll tell the police, too.”

And so he handed me his wallet, and we were just out of his way.

[toehwa6]

You wanna know some fucking bullshit.

Listen to this dumb fucking shit.

So to the puzzle gang out there you know that og plastic 2x2’s are literally the craziest puzzles you can get like crazy collectors shit

I currently have two a stickerless and a white one. I need a fucking black one to complete the collection.

I’ve been looking for these stupid fucking things for years.

Well low and fucking behold some rando fuck shows up on Reddit going

oG pLaStIc 2x2’s for sale I got a bunch I’m ready to get rid of them blah blah blah

So I hit this dumb motherfucker up and I’m like

Hello please let me purchase your one black og plastic Dayan 2x2

He’s super cool shows me the puzzle blah blah blah

I pay him and he says he’s sending it out tomorrow

Doesn’t hit me up

I go, hey buddy! Did you send it?

He goes

Oh yeah, sorry I don’t check Reddit much! Yes I sent it out

I ask, when’s it gonna be here, tracking, how’d you send it blah blah blah

Doesn’t hit me up

I go, boi you fucking there?

He goes

Oh yeah, sorry I don’t check Reddit much!

This stupid motherfucker made a post on Reddit the day after I sent a message so he’s fucking ducking me

He goes. They said it’ll be there on the 18th

And then he fucking ghosts me again when I ask for tracking

At this point I’m losing my fucking mind

Eventually he gets back to me and calls me a fucking weirdo, saying he’s never had someone yell at him like this before

Like listen dumb fuck, you’re shipping one of the rarest fucking puzzles there are and you don’t give a fuck

That’s fucking weird

You literally don’t reply AT ALL, let alone with any tracking or a “hey I sent your package out”

He literally goes

Idk it sounds like YOURE the scammer trying to get a free puzzle from me!

Bro! You’re fucking r-ed!

I already paid you and I’m screaming for tracking to make sure you actually fucking sent it.

I’m losing my mind at this point.

This stupid motherfucker hits me with a “you’re*” joke

I want to fucking kms

He then makes some dumb fuck comment about how I didn’t pay him PayPal did

Like, are you actually r-ed?

You’re so fucking stupid Jesus fucking Christ

Anyway. I argue with this dumb motherfucker for a bit until he’s like alright jeez I’ll get you tracking jeez leave me alone

He gets me tracking, we say sorry. I wait for this stupid fucking puzzle to get here.

IT GETS HERE OMG

guess what

It’s not a fucking 50mm puzzle

You know, like the actual rare one? The one people actually use? The one people make a big deal out of?

Btw, forgot to mention

I call this guy out for not giving a fuck and he goes

Gosh it’s just a puzzle, “it’s not a million dollars”

No shit you fucking idiot

But you know what the fuck it is

The minute I hit this motherfucker with

Hey! I didn’t even know 46mm was a thing! I don’t want this! Give me a refund!

He goes

Oh, yeah, sorry forgot to mention the size

It’s still the og plastic and the same mechanism

I shit you not

“Still very sought after”

Like no it’s fucking not you fucking ape

And boom

That when he stops messaging me

Actually

He fucking blocked me

I find this out by(after the reason I’m furious which I’m going to explain) going on a fucking alt because Reddit said his account was gone

Nope!

Just fucking blocked me!

I write up this long as fucking chargeback on PayPal and absolute goddamn motherfucker the fucking page fucking takes me back to the fucking log in screen after I hit submit and everything I typed up for 30 fucking minutes is fucking GONE

I’m losing my mind and can no longer fucking REWRITE anything because I’m just FUCKED

I’m FUCKED

So I go to message this stupid fucker and say

Hey bud, refund me before I smack you with this chargeback

Btw I’m saying that you purposefully left out important info in order to mislead people

That’s when it hit me

His account is gone

And he blocked me on PayPal cause I can’t fucking message him there??

So I go on one of my many fucking alts

And look this motherfucker up

And write on one of his stupid fucking comments

Hey guy, message me back on my main before I smack you with this chargeback tomorrow. Thanks bye.

FUCK. YOU.

And that’s where the fuck I’m at now.

Bitching on a stupid fucking TUMBLR POST BECAUSE IM FUCKING MAD AT FUCKING NOTHING

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF

IM MISERABLE

MY LIFE CANT GET ANY WORSE

But holy fuck

I’m going to get my fucking money back before I blow my fucking brains out

Fuck this mother fucker

Fuck these stupid puzzles

Fuck Reddit

Fuck everyone online

Fuck the puzzle community

Fuck talking to people

I fucking hate myself

I fucking hate being alive

I hope I fucking die soon

I don’t fucking care anymore

FUCK

If you’re reading this fuck you too

Fuck me??

Fuck you!!

FUCK YOU

FUCKING. DIE.

Can’t wait til I charge back this motherfucker and keep his motherfucking puzzle

I’m literally going to spit on garbage and mail that to him

FUCK. YOU.

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE I CANT GET OUT

I CANT GET OUT

I CANT GET OUT

FUCKING HELP ME PLEASE

HELP

FUCK

I fucking hate this shit

Don’t fucking read this too late go fuck yourself cya

[snimeat]

Oh, darling, you followed me first :) I just followed back, that is all.

And of course I am not okay! Who in their right mind would be normal on tumblr? That's the point of this hellhole <3

Well, thai shows... idk, I'm waiting on NLMG and 10 years ticket. Between Us is unfortunately a disappointment for me. And GAP has no plot whatsoever... for now I guess. But I'm mostly watching it for the thirst ngl. And the gorgeous outfits. But plot ?? Never seen her. Wednesday was great imo, so is The Imperfects if you haven't seen it. Oh and The Bastard Son and The Devil Himself was amazing, even tho it got immediately cancelled. Fuck netflix basically. This is why I pirate their shows. Smh. Oh, and I heard from mutuals that Heartbreak High is also very good. So there you go - some recommendations.

But anyway, glad you're doing good, that's what I wanna hear <3

☀ (sun emoji is shit on windows :( and tumblr keeps changing to bulleted instead of a fucking dash )

so we’re moots then, okay, okay. cool👀

i laughed. honestly, can’t even deny that one because lmao. we’re just a bunch of weirdos in here and gotta love us for it, huh.

i don’t follow that many thai shows so don’t worry about that. i just jump wherever the brain jumps to honestly. so, what’s NLMG? i’m also waiting for 10 years ticket and i’m pretty sure some others too but my brain is like a foggy forest, sometimes things are visible but most of the time they’re not lmao. i did start between us but idk what happened there but i lost interest and rn i’m watching it mostly through mor @liyazaki sets who so kindly tags me and i live for it. i also gif watch through mor sets for the gap one, i just am not feeling the fluff. i need characters who are evil and spill blood rn so anything far from that isn’t in my sight. i definitely enjoyed wednesday too!!! not gonna lie though, i wished we saw something more gore and evil? i’m in my reputation era, anything too cute and romantic or just generally good, i’m out lmao. i haven’t heard of the imperfects BUT i did see an edit of the bastard son and the devil himself and thought of starting that RIGHT AFTER seeing it’s been cancelled, so disappointed but not surprised. heartbreak high? i don’t think i heard of that either but i’ll try looking it up!

how are you though? are you doing okay?

so thank you for all this!!! btw, i did start alchemy of souls (like two hours before i answered this so i’m enjoying that if you haven’t seen it!), and i am trying to rewatch the untamed cause i want pain apparently but other than that i ditched all my shows, my mdl must be yelling with the amount of things i haven’t finished lmao.

[rainbows-fandom-things]

Imagine being Georgie Barker the podcast from her perspective is so fucking weird when you think about it. You are just an average college student. I mean, you’re at Oxford, so not exactly, but relatively an average college student. You see a bunch of dead people, one says a weird thing to your friend who also then just fucking dies in front of you. You’re like 18 years old when this happens. You take off a year off college and can no longer feel fear. A couple years later, still in college, you date this guy and then break up with him. You aren’t even friends with him after this. Fast forward to 2017 about ten years later, you have an apartment now, you adopted a cat, you started a successful podcast, you made some friends, you’re doing pretty good. Remember your weirdo college ex-boyfriend who you no longer talk to? He shows up at your door asking to crash on your couch for a couple weeks because his boss framed him for murder and his only friends are his coworkers who think he committed the murder so he’s on the run now. For some reason you just let him do that. He tells you God is real, actually multiple Gods, but they’re not benevolent, they fucking suck and like torturing people, and he works at the agency that categorizes them and serves one of them, which also fucking sucks. “That would explain why I can’t feel fear anymore!” you say. “You fucking what?” he responds, and against your better judgment you tell him the story to tell to his job. The job he currently is not even going to because he’s on the run because his boss framed him for murder. He leaves your house shortly after and gets immediately kidnapped. Eventually you just kinda give up on him again and decide you don’t want any more to do with his weird fucking job. One of your close friends starts working at his weird fucking job. You start dating her. She also decides she wants no more to do with the weird fucking job but she can’t quit! Except she can quit she just has to cut her eyes out. So she cuts her eyes out. A few months pass and the world ends! Wanna know who caused it? That’s right, your weirdo college ex-boyfriend! It wasn’t his fault though but it doesn’t really matter who’s fault it is because fact is people are being tortured. Not you and your girlfriend though, so you start rescuing people. Most of them die. The ones that don’t worship you like gods. Guess who shows up at the tunnels you’re all living in (under previously mentioned weird fucking job’s building which is now the capital building of England: hellscape edition)? Your weirdo college ex-boyfriend! And his new boyfriend! You all decide that you should un-end the world. Things go down and the other remaining coworker of your ex shows up. “Actually we shouldn’t unend the world since it’s going to doom other worlds,” says your ex-boyfriend. “Fuck other worlds, who cares,” says everybody else, including you. You have a perfect way to unend the world and guess who fucks it up? That’s right, your weirdo college ex-boyfriend!!! The world does go back to normal but him and his boyfriend disappear because of it. They’re dead or in another dimension or both now, probably. That kinda sucks. And you have to feel fear again now. That kinda sucks. But the world’s unended so that’s good. The end.

[mochiswifey]

DAMN, YOU’RE SUCH A!

BONTEN X ASSASSIN

Why did you start working for them? Oh… yeah. Money. You want money. Lots of money.

GENRE: Crack

“M-mommy….”

“EW! GET THE FUCK OFF!” You yelled as you try to push the drunk Haruchiyo away from you.

This wasn’t the first time he got wasted. But it is the first time he clung to your legs smearing his snot all over your sweat pants.

“Do I look like fucking mommy to you?”

“M-mommy!” He started crying like a toddler and gosh. It made you want to puke!

“SOMEBODY! CALL ANIMAL FUCKIN’ CONTROL!” Your yell echoed through the hallway but no one came to your rescue.

“MOM! I WANT-“

“F-FUCK OFF!” You screamed as soon as he started to run his face up and down to your legs.

“M-“

You had enough and grabbed his hair smashing his head to the wall instantly knocking him out.

“Fucking weirdo.”

You sighed before heading towards the meeting room.

There Takeomi and Kokonoi were waiting for you.

“Where’s Sanzu-“

“You gotta take him to church or like bring an exorcist here ‘cause that man? That grown ass man? Is not normal.” You pointed at them fury visible on your face.

“Tell us something we don’t know.” Kokonoi laughs as he typed on his MacBook.

“Here.” You took your sweatpants off leaving you with just your spandex, it immediately made the two uncomfortable.

“H-hey you’re not here to fuck us-“

“Takeomi, there’s no way I’m gonna fuck your old ass.” You glared at him before throwing your sweatpants at them.

“Haru smeared his goddamn snot all over it. I’d like you to buy me a new one to compensate for your little bro’s bull fuckin’ fuckery.”

Takeomi stared at the wet spot on your sweatpants and immediately got disgusted throwing it far from them.

“I-uh I’ll have it deliver on your apartment.” He says apologetically.

“Thank you.” You sighed.

“Enough of that. Mikey wants to know if you killed the rival-“

“Job is done, no evidence. Now give me-“

“WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE!?” Ran and Rindou enters the meeting room and you immediately rolled your eyes.

“Ola, baby girl.” Ran greets you with a borderline racist Spanish accent making you roll your eyes and as you thought his eyes immediately landed on your exposed legs.

“Damn! You lookin’ like a fine snack!” He says as his lazy mischievous eyes examines every inch of your exposed legs.

“Mind if we take a bite?” Rindou says as he hugs his brother from the back.

“Mind if I crush both of your empty skulls?” You replied and they immediately stepped away from you.

“Where’s my money?” You returned your attention to Kokonoi.

“I’ll send it to you.” He replies and you simply nodded leaving the meeting room glad that you’re day with them is over.

But not even a minute later you encounter Kakucho.

He’s not bad but you don’t fancy him either.

“Hey. Had a bad day?” He asked as he notice the frown on your face.

“Hey wanna have a broken nose?!” You smiled sarcastically as you passed by him.

Kakucho sighed realizing he failed again. He’s been wanting to ask you out but every single time you just ignore or roast him.

“Okay. No Haruchiyo no Haitanis, we’re fine. It’s over.”

“Oi.” You turn to your left to see Mikey and Kanji AKA “Mochi”.

They just returned from whatever atrocity they were doing and you were unlucky enough to encounter them before you leave.

“What’s up…….. boss.” You unenthusiastically greets them.

“Buy me-“

You rolled your eyes and pulled up the Taiyaki you bought for yourself. You were planning on eating it after work but now…. You have to give it to Mikey.

“You didn’t poison this did you?” You rolled your eyes and took a bite of it.

You chewed it and swallowed it hard before opening your mouth showing Mikey that you didn’t poison his food.The food you were supposed to enjoy.

“K.” He says before walking away without gratitude.

“You’re very welcome!” You yelled but like always got ignored.

“Why are you not wearing pants?” Kanji asked you.

“Kanji why are your eyebrows like that?”

“First of, they’re natural. Second, don’t call me Kanji. No one fucking calls me that.” You stared at the enormous man in front of you before cracking up.

“You’ve got me fucked up! If you- *exhales* if you fucking think I’ll call you Mochi.”

“That’s what everybody calls me.”

“Bro, you’re practically a blond Bigfoot and you want me to call you Mochi? Shit. I rather touch a fish eye than to call you Mochi.” You roasted him before patting his chest and turning around to leave the shocked man.

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

“I’ll give a shit when pigs started giving birth to dolphins.”

“You’re a fucking dumbass!” He yells but you simply ignored him heading to your merry way.

In other words, away from the Bonten’s HQ.

….

Thank you for reading. Plagiarism is a crime.

[peachyfuck18]

Ok @full-timel-lurker since you claim you don’t know why let me tell you my experiences as an autistic person and maybe you’ll find why I hate this series

Never had my needs accommodated by my shitty ex sperm donor cause in his words “I could handle it”

Was literally emotionally abused by my church(Satanist now) as I showed my autistic traits all the time and the Sunday school teachers hated it

I have to go to bed hungry cause I ran out of my safe food

Literally baby talked due to propaganda about autistic people being childlike

So ask me again how I’m so “up in my arms about” it you fucking bitch.

Also we’re talking about R*ordan write? The same Riordan who Americanized Greek Gods and wrote them as villains despite Hellestic paganism still being around and called those same pagans who he wrote their gods about weirdos? The same R*ordan who wrote Islam characters in the most intentionally Islamophobic way possible to make that makes the religion look bad? The same R*ordan who wrote girls and women in the Madonna/Whore complex and masculinize GOC? The same R*ordan who write POC as stereotypes that if I was told to spot the difference between his writing of POC and the way POC were portrayed in early 20th century cartoons I couldn’t tell what difference there were? The same R*ordan who wrote Hitler, goddamn ADOLF HITLER as Hades SON and WWll as a “family matter between the Greek gods so everything that did happen was all fake” promoting Holocaust denial and the denial of the Nakbas terrorism? The same R*ordan who’s first gay character coming out is that he’s forcefully outed and that genderfluidity is genetic? The same R*ordan who supports ITSNOTREAL’s GENOCIDE OF PALESTINIANS? That fucking R*ordan?

And If he was trying to make a hero for his son than why didn’t he not publish the story at all hmm? Answer me that

Also you find other peoples mental disorders being written as superpowers where neurotypicals will read and will not understand when they come across a person with the exact same disorders and actually show the symptoms, which you can fucking Google btw, that actually make their life harder as good? The so called “powers” where the actual symptoms are mentioned for a short amount of time and never mentioned again as good? If that’s the case you’re a fucking joke then and should really take a long hard look at what the fuck you think is good media then

And you believe fiction can’t affect reality? Ok answer me this then:

What about proshipping and how the normalization of it for the time being influenced the normalization of pedophilia?

What about Nazi Germany when so much shit was being said about Jewish, Romani, disabled and Queer people that many people started to believe it and the holocaust happened?

What about after 9/11 the US spread Islamophobic lies and weaponized Arabs against the American people that literal people overseas FUCKING DIED due to anti-Arab US propaganda?

What about the AIDS crisis back in the 80s when Ronald Reagan was purposefully making false claims against people affected by AIDS cause he wanted queer people dead?

Wanna answer that?

Also you say this:

“I just don’t understand why you’re so determined to hate on it. It feels like you’re demonised people with adhd and dyslexia saying they couldn’t be heroes? Which feels really insulting.”

Ok first of all let me fix that terrible ass sentence for you sweetie:

“It feels like you’re DEMONIZING people with ADHD and Dyslexia saying they CANT be heroes.(period not question mark period ok?)

First of all I gave you literal evidence and my friend @scionofthehellpriest literally gave you examples on R*ordans ableist writing and why it’s dangerous so maybe you should know who you’re talking too before even saying a fucking word

So as an autistic person I say,

I would like to thank the Percy Jackson fandom for the reason that neurodivergent people are infantilized on a daily basis as well as R*ck R*ordans shitty rewrite on ADHD and Dyslexia and making it like superpowers not actual disorders people suffer from on a daily basis while most of the characters act like neurotypicals.

[nushy]

It is time.

I still don't have a title for this one, but... part 1 is here. also: part 2 and part 3

A/N: besties, i needed something positive after s4, vol.2 so here we don't have anything supernatural - just a normal Hawkins, normal kids, etc, etc. Our pretty boy is alive and well.

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: you are the new girl in town and Eddie is seeing something he likes. And you too. (i am sooooo bad at summaries)

warnings: a lot of spelling and grammar errors (sorry, english is not my native language), blood, punching, cursing, drug use, smoking, strong language (?), maybe SA if you squint, in the next parts there will be smut. idk

word count: 1.4K

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You knew the day was going to be bad the moment you woke up. First, the milk had gone bad so you just skipped breakfast, then your car broke so you had to walk to school and on your way there your favorite bracelet tore and you just threw it away. And to top it all off – well, you had to go to school.

The day only got worse when, while strolling through your locker and searching for a pen, someone stood by you and started talking to you.

“Hey, new girl, wanna come with me tonight to show you the town?” You looked at the guy – and, oh my god, the most generic white boy was smiling stupidly at you. What’s more, he was part of the basketball team. Fuck, you thought to yourself. Yes, of course, new girls always get the attention, especially when they were dressed like you – short black skirt and pretty cropped top handmade by you from one of your favorite band t-shirts (very against the school dress code but you really didn’t care). But what was he thinking, trying his luck with you – what were you going to talk about – you doubted that he knew any of the bands you liked, or the scary movies, or the fantasy books. Plus, he was soooo far from your type.

“No, thanks, I’ve got plans” you responded and then resumed your pen search.

“What plans can you have, I doubt that you have any friends here to have plans with” he chuckled at his own joke. You took a deep breath, trying not to scream right there and then. And in this moment, your salvation came by – you knew the boy vaguely, cause you saw him yesterday at lunch and were immediately drawn to him – his long curly hair, leather jacket and denim vest with Dio stitch on the back and of course, you favorite, his big metal rings. When you passed by his table you heard him talking about the gig he was having the next evening with his band and you noted that in your head. Now this was your alibi. You stretched out your hand and grabbed the boy that was passing by, drawing him to you.

“Well, yeah, tonight I’m going to see him playing with his band” you said pretty conveniently, one of the boys was shocked and the other one was a bit… disgusted?

“What? Eddie Munson? This freak? You better be joking” he scoffed. The boy next to you, Eddie, just signed but still didn’t try to escape your grasp, he was intrigued. And you were pissed so you decided that it will be the hard way.

“You talking about yourself? You a freak?” you asked dumbly and laughed. His face became red, and Eddie reacted for the first time with a sincere laugh.

“You bitch, I was just trying to be nice.” the player was angry. But the way he called you made you furious. And Eddie immediately knew because your hand, that was still on his, grasped him harder.

“What did you just call me?” you asked, your jaw clenched.

“What you are – a bitch. I was trying to be nice but apparently you like the weirdos.” He was a total douche and you knew what those needed, so you let go of Eddie’s hand, and you punched the idiot in the face. Right in the nose – and that was the best feeling of the day. He immediately put his hands on his face, a small trail of blood got to his mouth. Eddie gasped, then let out a small laugh.

“Don’t ever dare to call me bitch…. or him a freak.. ever again” you said, standing close to his face, his eyes wide and shocked, but full of anger. With him still standing shocked in front of you, you turned to Eddie and said calmly:

“Wanna skip the next class and go somewhere far from this shithole?” He was a bit taken aback but still nodded and you grabbed his hand and guided him to the exit. 

Outside of the school building you managed to take a deep breath and to think clearly about the situation you were in, Eddie’s hand still in yours.

“Wow” was all he could say. You looked at him and started laughing, not knowing how else to react. He looked at you, confused at first, but soon joined you in the laugh. “It was a really good punch tho.”

“Yeah, my father taught me how to punch, said I had to be like the boys or better.” you explained, dryly smiling.

“This one was definitely better.” Eddie looked at you, from head to toes, for the first time. And, boy, was he impressed. Not just by the outfit – but by your face, the fire in your eyes, the messy, yet beautiful, hair, the chipped black nail polish and the several skull rings on your fingers. You blushed. And for some minutes there was silence.

“So, where are we going? And can you drive, my car broke this morning.” you broke the silence. Eddie looked around, thinking, then smiled and grabbed you by the waist.

“I have  the perfect idea. And we don’t even need a car.” So you two left the parking in front of the school.

It really was a short walk through the woods, until you got to a clearing with a wooden table in the center and two wooden benches.

“My favorite spot, no one comes here.” he said with a delight in his voice. And, to be fair, you liked the place – it was quiet, it was nature, and there was no one around. You sat on the bench, Eddie sat on the opposite one, there was silence once again. You got your backpack on the table and started to search for something, Eddie looking at you with confusion. He really didn’t know what to expect next from you.

“Want some?” you took out a blunt and handed it to him. And, boy, was he shocked, because he expected everything, but definitely not this. “Or you don’t use those kind of things.” You continued when you didn’t get a response. Eddie finally managed to react letting out a loud laugh.

“Sweety, I sell those things.” It was your time to be shocked, as he put his black lunch box that you noticed just now, and he opened it. You looked inside and nodded with a grin on your face.

“Yep, you definitely sell those things.” then you both laughed. You lit the joint and took turns until you both were feeling light as feathers. 

“So, you new here?” he asked. You took a deep breath, your thoughts were a bit scrambled but not that much.

“Yeah, came here 3 days ago with my father. He’s a truck driver, his station is near, so we settled here, in the trailer park.” Eddie’s eyes grew bigger.

“No way, I live there too.” You honestly didn’t know that but it was a really cool coincidense.

“Yeah, basically I live mostly alone, as my father is always on the road, but he makes good money and he sends me to help me. But I still consider finding a job. Shitty part is I have to finish school, and I’ve changed a lot of those. Good thing is, this time I managed to go two days without punching someone, last time I punched the guidance lady on my first day… but it was her fault, she acted like I was stupid.” The weed made you chatty, but it seemed like Eddie didn’t mind as he was carefully listening to you talking about your life.

You had no idea how much time has passed as you talked about everything there is to talk about (you definitely clicked as your interests were basically the same), but it was slowly getting darker and Eddie suddenly jumped.

“The gig!” he looked at his clock. “Damn, it starts in two hours, gotta go or the boys will be pissed.” you looked him with heavy eyes but still stood up.

“Yeah, but Eddie, I will be heading home, not feeling like going to a bar right now.” You looked him in the eyes and for a moment you could have sworn there was a trace of sadness (or were you just high?). He lifted slowly his shoulders and tried to be casual:

“You lose.” he said with a grin. And with that said you both headed to the school parking lot for him to hop on his van. You sobered up quickly while walking through the woods, Eddie also looked quite fine. There was silent once again but it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was nice. Your hands brushed lightly, you smiled not sure if it was because of the weed, or you just started to fall for the boy, not knowing that he was thinking just the same.

“Want a ride? I can give you a lift to the trailer park and then head to the Hideout. " You declined.

“I need a bit more fresh air, I will walk. You go or you will be late.” Eddie smiled so sincerely that you wanted to jump right away in the van next to him, but you just waved goodbye and walked away.

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Baji Being A Menace To Society (And Your Relationship) 2.0

Sequel to: Baji A.K.A. The Worst (Best) Matchmaker

Summary: Baji’s at it again, acting out-of-pocket and creating chaos for absolutely no reason, other than to see you suffer. In his own Baji-esque way, of course.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Warning(s): Boku no Pico is mentioned, but there is absolutely nothing graphic; mentions of masturbation

Note(s): I am so sorry if it isn’t funny. Sadly, I am but an amateur writer, not a comedian. Still, I hope you all enjoy! ^^

"(Y/n), want some ice cream? My treat."

Usually, you'd be the first to jump at an offer for a sweet treat, especially when you don't have to pay. However, as of now, the word 'ice cream,' when said by Baji, instantly triggers your fight-or flight-response. Paired with the fact that he’s broke as hell, your suspicions only increase for the sudden indulgence.

Since you know you're no match for the long-haired menace, your body automatically prepares to flee, legs twitching to lurch into a sprint. Unfortunately for you, just before you can get the fuck out of there, your hand is being grabbed by Mikey, who leisurely begins to tug you along to claim your dessert.

“You like ice cream, right?” he turns to ask, eyes unbelievably soft when looking at you.

And because you’re weak for him, all you can do is nod stiffly, trading in your sanity for the pleased grin that spreads across his face, his confident strides thereafter likely a result of him successfully remembering another miscellaneous fact about you, as has been the case since you officially started dating him. From the most trivial of things, like which brand of pens and pencils you prefer, to the slightly more important stuff, like ice cream being one of your favorite desserts; he’s made the effort of remembering them all.

He really doesn’t need to do any of that, ‘cause you’ll love him either way, but the conscious decision to do so is what makes you love him even more.

Zoning back into reality, you shake your head to reorient yourself. It isn’t the time to be going over the reasons why you’re such a lovesick puppy.

No, there are other things to worry about, mainly Baji.

You squeeze Mikey’s hand as you’re led to the nearest ice cream parlor to try and calm yourself. It works for the most part, especially when you get a reassuring squeeze back.

‘Right,’ you tell yourself, ‘it’s going to be okay.’

After all, Baji wouldn’t do anything too drastic, right?

~~~

You were wrong. So, so wrong.

Despite nothing having transpired yet, every alarm in your head is going off, pounding at the door of reason to get you to wake up and realize that it’s Baji you’re talking about, the same person that sets cars on fire when hungry and punches the first unfortunate soul he passes by on the street when sleepy.

You really should’ve listened to your survival instincts and ran. Alas, it’s much too late to escape, leaving you to wallow in your anxiety, while you wait for misfortune to strike.

And strike it does.

“Please, don’t sit next to me. You make me nauseous.”

“That’s cruel. I bought you ice cream, and you treat me like this?”

Yeah, he may have bought it, but you refuse to eat it because of how intensely Baji is staring at you. Fucking weirdo.

"Oh, do you want some of mine instead, (Y/n)?" Baji accentuates his question with a sensual lick to his ice cream from the edge of the cone to the finessed peak, making you extremely uncomfortable as he stares you down with the full motion.

As slowly as he licks his frozen treat do you slowly raise your middle finger, eliciting chuckles from the other occupants of the table.

You think you won that mini battle, though?

Ha! Nope.

Baji mirrors the vulgar action, not once breaking eye contact as he dips the tip of his finger directly into his ice cream, pulls it out, and proceeds to lick that, too.

Disgusted, you promptly avert your attention elsewhere, praying that Baji won’t continue being, well, himself.

Your prayers fall on deaf ears.

"It's cold!" As soon as the exclamation leaves your mouth, your blood runs glacial, knowing that you've unintentionally played into Baji's trap. The appearance of a sly, almost feral, smirk when you whip your head around to glare confirms what you already know.

The curtain has risen, and you’re standing center stage in a performance you can’t break free from.

"Aw, can't let it go to waste,” Baji continues, reaching over to scoop the ice cream you’re 100% certain he purposely spilled on the front of your shirt, with his fingers.

Then, to your horror and everyone else’s shock, he asks, without an ounce of virtue to his name, "Want me to lick it off with my mouth?"

Chifuyu is seated on the other side of the table, hiding his face in his hands. “Baji-san...”

"It'll stain if it dries like that." Dear God, how you wish to un-see Baji batting his eyelashes at you.

“I don’t care!” At this point, you’ve resorted to clumsily scooting your chair as far away from him as possible, which isn’t actually as far as you’d like considering your surroundings. Hell, so long as you put some distance between yourself and the crazy bastard that wants to see you suffer, you don’t mind having to force yourself halfway onto Mikey’s lap. (The firm hand that keeps you steady by the waist proves that your presence isn’t unwanted either.)

"Geez, (Y/n), you're such a scatterbrain."

Seeing Baji sell the line with a slow tugging of his hair behind the ear has you torn between laughing and dying a little more. Truthfully, his acting is frighteningly impressive, and you would’ve applauded his performance, if not for the fact that the role he’s playing still haunts your dreams.

By this time, most of who accompanied you to the ice cream parlor have figured out what kind of drugs Baji is on this time, which also means that those fuckers have seen, or are at least aware of, the cursed trilogy of questionable porn that’s being reenacted before their eyes, with you as an unwilling co-star. Those that are puzzled as to why people are shoving their fists in their mouths to refrain from laughing are obviously God’s favorites.

“The fuck is going on? I wanna laugh at Baji’s dumbassery, too.”

“Pah-chin... I think it’s best you don’t know.”

Interestingly enough, the one you’re most concerned about hasn’t said anything yet, splitting his attention between observing the scene unfolding and eating his portion of a deluxe sundae.

Then, out of nowhere-

“I understand.”

You and Baji freeze where you are, each of you grasping the other’s collar, you to shove him away, and him to draw you closer.

“(Y/n),” Mikey says, your name rolling silkily off his tongue in a tone much too fond for his next words, “if you like roleplay, just tell me.”

...

“Huh?”

“I’m fine with pissing, remember? So, roleplay shouldn’t be a problem.”

Heat rises to your face at an alarming pace, and it continues to climb as Mikey takes your free hand in his, which serves not to comfort but to unintentionally remind you of the humiliating experience from a few months back. And just when you convinced him that you didn’t want anything to do with getting freaky with the body’s excreta, too.

“You’ve got it wrong! I don’t- arfghfgh?!”

Your prayer to help cool down your flushed cheeks must have been heard, but you’re pretty damn sure you didn’t ask for Baji to shove his ice cream in your mouth!

“Oh, yeah. (Y/n)’s a fuckin’ geek when it comes to roleplay,” the unhinged bastard speaks in your stead, indifferent to the nails clawing at his hand clamped over your mouth. “You should try it with him. We were doing a scene from his favorite anime.”

Mikey tilts his head, interest positively piqued. “Which one is that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, leader?”

Mikey raises an eyebrow.

Baji opens his mouth.

You lunge.

It’s a series of events that happens in the blink of an eye and ends with loud crashing as you tackle Baji to the ground.

“Listen up, Baji Keisuke. We took an oath that day, and if you dare utter a word of what went down, I’ll consider that a breach of the code of secrecy and take you down, making sure you drown in a pit of your own shame and despair.”

Surprised to have been pinned down so quickly, it takes a while for Baji’s brain to catch up, but when it does, he’s frustratingly unfazed at the threat.

“Oho~ How scary. Too bad for you, I have no shame.”

“Not even if I tell Mama Baji where your porn stash is?”

That has the great Baji tensing up.

“You wouldn’t dare use an underhanded tactic like that.”

Your lips turn into a wicked grin. “Are you sure? I have as much dirt on you as you have on me, and like you, I won’t hesitate to use it to my advantage.”

If your grin is wicked, Baji’s is downright evil, showing off his sharp, gritted canines and all.

“You got balls, (Y/n),” he snarls, “but mine are bigger.”

The boy beneath you opens his mouth, and faster than you can stop him, he just...does it.

“(Y/n) (L/n) watched Boku no Pico and liked it!”

Silence.

Silence is all that’s heard for a good, long minute following the booming roar of the revelation.

You dare not look up to gauge everyone’s reactions, instead keeping your icy glare fixated on Baji, who looks smug as shit for having caused the glorious eruption of heat to spread like wildfire across your entire body, from the tips of your ears down to where your skin disappears under the collar of your jacket.

This...

This is war.

Taking in a deep breath, you answer his uncalled for declaration with your own thunderous shout of, “Baji watched Boku no Pico and jacked off to it! Twice!”

Baji laughs. “Oh, pray tell, saintly (Y/n), how many times did you jack off to it?”

“None of your fucking business, asshole.”

“Pretty fucking sure it is, since we were in the same room.”

Someone chokes, while you choke Baji.

“We. Swore. To. Secrecy. You. Asshole,” you practically growl, with each of your words accompanied by a ruthless back-and-forth shaking of the other boy’s person.

“Let up on the choking, dude. I’m not into that. You, however-”

Unable to take the ceaseless slander to your name anymore, you reel your fist back, but, upon seeing Baji’s cheek turned to you, jaw jutted out, as if inviting you to take your best shot, you hesitate. You know you wouldn’t be able to pack enough of a punch to actually leave an impact on him, which is terribly upsetting.

On the bright side, there’s still one tactic you can use that’ll be just as effective, a technique courtesy of your health teacher, who happily taught it to the class to use in case of an emergency.

Technically, it’s meant to be used to assess a person’s level of consciousness, but you suppose it can be used to get back at inconsiderate idiots, too.

“Ow! Ow! What the fuc-! Ow!”

You keep a straight face as you continue to rub your knuckles against his sternum, fully intent on delivering the worst possible pain to the current bane of your existence. It brings a sort of sadistic satisfaction to hear the ever prideful Baji’s screams of pain, and while it doesn’t completely undo the damage done, it does help soothe your wounded self-esteem.

“You want me stop? Beg for it.”

“Pissing, roleplay, choking, and begging? Goddam- OW!”

Your reign of terror comes to its untimely end when you’re lifted up into the air by the armpits, and through the haze of your power trip, you realize that Baji’s saving grace is Draken, who proceeds to carry you out of the parlor with ease.

“People are staring,” he coolly explains when you protest to having unfinished business.

Pouting, you cross your arms over your chest. “It’s his fault.”

Once outside, Draken doesn’t immediately put you back on your feet, until Mikey strolls out of the parlor. Only when the gang leader has his arms outstretched to you are you promptly deposited on the ground and taken into his embrace.

“Are you done letting off some steam?” is the first thing he asks you. Even though you can’t see his expression, the way he holds you and the way he cradles the back of your head, handling you with the utmost care, is indication enough that there will be no reprimand for, essentially, assaulting your division commander. (You would argue that it was an act of self defense against verbal harassment, but whatever.)

There’s just an overwhelming amount of love. So, so, so much love for each other.

“Yeah, I am,” you eventually answer, followed by a content sigh.

“Good.”

Naturally, that’s the perfect time for the tinkling of the bells above the parlor door to pilfer your attention. Baji’s appearance causes your face to morph into a scowl.

You cling tighter to Mikey, peeking over his shoulder to flip the ravenet off and mouth, ‘Go to Hell.’

As always, Baji answers your attempt to appear opposing with an obnoxious smirk.

‘See you there.’

~~~

“Boku no Pico, huh?”

“Draken, don’t laugh! Baji forced me to watch it!”

“All 3 episodes?”

“Twice.”

“...”

“...”

“Favorite scene...?”

“As if I’d have one.”

"Actually-"

“Ahh! Shut up! Why are you here, stupid Baji?! You live in the other direction!”

~~~

“Hey, (Y/n). Want to try doing the same thing with me?”

You look up, perplexed. Mikey literally just walked into the room, and that was the first thing he said to you.

“Do wha-?”

Your breath catches in your throat when you turn your head, only for you to come centimeters from bumping noses with him. And because he can, he lovingly knocks your foreheads together, too.

“It’s okay. I promise it’ll definitely be fun.”

You should feel ashamed for recognizing the same sequence of lines from Boku no Pico so quickly, though any coherent words are overtaken by an incomprehensible, high-pitched screech, a feat achieved solely by a teenage boy going through puberty.

A combination of shock and amusement crosses over Mikey’s features then. He’s never heard you make that sound before.

It’s cute. Strains the ears quite a bit, but cute.

While Draken lurks beside him, questioning Mikey’s standards of what constitutes as ‘cute,’ you’re sprinting across the room, red-faced, to Baji, who’s already grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Stop tainting my boyfriend, you piece of shit! Give him back his innocence!”

(Unbeknownst to you, whilst immersed in your fit of hysterics, your use of the word ‘boyfriend’ has a certain blond beaming.

“Did you hear that, Ken-chin? He called me his boyfriend.”

“Wow, congrats.”

Mikey either doesn’t give a shit or is simply too smitten to acknowledge Draken’s apathetic response.)

Baji blinks, unable to believe what you’re trying to insinuate. “Innocent? That little gremlin motherfucker?”

Both of you look in Mikey’s direction. When he sees you staring, he breaks out in a smile and throws a wave.

Your heart involuntarily skips a beat at the sight, and, okay, you’re convinced. Mikey deserves better than knowing of that cursed series’ existence.

Clearly, you’re down bad for Toman’s leader, and as such, Baji figures he can use that to quench his boredom for the day.

“Ooh, if only you knew what he gets off to.”

The tone in his voice instantly rouses suspicion. You narrow your eyes at him. “I don’t care what kind of porn he gets off to.”

“Porn? Nah, ya silly goose-”

“Don’t call me that.”

Baji ignores your comment as he moves to sling one arm around your shoulders, the other raising up to mimic an obscene tugging motion that no teenage boy is a stranger to.

“He jerks it to yo-”

BAM!

One second, Baji is lazily hanging off of your person, the next, he’s sprawled out on the floor, face down, and groaning in pain. You expect nothing less after witnessing him receive a rather impressive flying kick to the chest from Mikey.

Before you can assess the full damage, your view gets obscured by a pair of keys.

“Wanna take my bike out for a spin?”

Yes, you know Mikey is trying to divert your attention from whatever Baji was going to say, and, yes, you probably should check on the figure that has yet to get up.

But do you really care?

You take one glance at Baji’s concerningly unmoving body and quickly come to a conclusion.

You do not.

That being said, you quite literally drag Mikey and, by extension, Draken out of there, chanting an excited, “Let’s go!” on your way, abandoning Baji to wither on the ground.

Baji?

Baji feels betrayed.

~~~

"Chifuyu?”

“Hm?”

“Y’know, I was joking.” Baji flips onto his back with a grunt. “Man, who knew Mikey was all grown up?”

The vice captain of the first division hums, seemingly uninterested in his commander’s musings.

It goes quiet for a few minutes, the sole instigator of noise being Chifuyu flipping the pages of his manga.

Unpredictable is Baji, and the same goes for his train of thought.

“I should punch Mikey for kicking me.”

“No, you’d get beat up.”

“...”

“I should punch (Y/n) for Mikey kicking me.”

Truly, unpredictable and senseless.

“You’d still get beat up.”

Baji opens his mouth to argue.

“By Mikey.”

He promptly closes it.

“Fuck it. I’ll keep spicing up their relationship as payback.”

Sighing, Chifuyu closes his book to crouch down next to him. “Baji-san, with all due respect, you’re an asshole.”

Baji Keisuke has experienced betrayal twice today.

And he deserved it both times.