#cart-wrong

[why-is-it-always-autumn]

We've all heard of "Barry Bluejeans was the roadrunner to Kravitz's Wile E Coyote for like ten years post-Stolen Century pre-Gerblins" (impeccable concept, always hilarious) but consider:

Kravitz has attempted to reap Merle-Fuckin-Highchurch at least 4d6 times since he first appeared on this plane. Through a series of miscommunications, lucky rolls, slapstick shenanigans, and the occasional bout of divine intervention, he has never once succeeded.

Merle is totally oblivious to both his alleged crimes and Kravitz's increasingly desperate attempts to charge him for them.

[deprivenalive]

sketchy vanitas

[flaphack]

i love terry jr but it is SO FUNNY that he is now receiving karmic retribution for his shitty step kid behavior in the form of a stepdaughter that hates him

[neversetyoufree]

This is a small thing, but I do really enjoy that we've now gotten confirmation that Roland grew up poor, since it adds an interesting dimension to his relationship to the rest of the church.

The chasseurs aren't just militant religious extremists. By and large, they're wealthy and insular militant religious extremists. The lower level chassuers most likely come from a wider base, but among the paladins, coming from established chasseur families seems to be quite common. Astolfo comes from a line of paladins, Olivier seemingly did as well, and though we don't know anything about Gano's family, he apparently grew up comfortable enough to belittle Roland for being poor.

And like, of course this is the case. Of course the violent hateful Catholics are a group full of generational wealth and classism. Of course the anti-vampire extremists were raised in whole families of anti-vampire extremists.

And by the same token, of course the paladin most willing to question what he's been told about vampires is the paladin that comes from outside their insular ranks. Roland is a chasseur because wants to help people, and if Gano is to be believed, he's also in it for the money. Hunting vampires is a job that Roland genuinely believes in, but at the end of the day, it's a job. It's a field he chose to enter into. He doesn't define himself entirely by his occupation of vampire hunter.

It's always going to be easier to brainwash someone if that brainwashing is what they've known for their entire life. Of course the outsider perspective comes from the paladin that's the biggest outsider in other ways. And of course someone that's been looked down upon by society is more receptive to questioning societal presumptions about evil.

None of this is revolutionary, but it's very fitting, and I'm pleased to have it confirmed.

[swiftcast-selene]

baby tsetse fresh from one of his first few hunts! he's about 15 here, two years before the accident that sheared off his horn.

i wanted a mix of grown-up and baby dotharli clothes here to symbolize how he was kind of at a transitional age at this point in his life, so he's in a mix of the big fluffy coats the children of the tribe wear, but paired with the dark blue top and skirt the adults are usually in. he's very bitter about it! he's a grown man now, he doesn't need his comfy clothes anymore! (he does. he's very cold.) since neither of his parents were around, i like to think the rest of the tribe would take turns helping him with his hunting paint, as well as giving him each little pieces of beading to adorn him as a way to include him :)

[hauntedwizardmoment]

listen at the end of the day there is nothing in canon that contradicts my headcanon that porter strangled jace to death mid-sex and that will ALWAYS be my favorite version of jace's death. it's so intimate... porter's hands around jace's neck, gently running his thumb over jace's adam's apple. jace is so into it at first too, he's always wanted to try this (and other kinks) with someone but never found a guy who wasnt afraid to hurt him the way porter is.

so they get out like. these chintzy fuzzy pink handcuffs because jace wants the fantasy of being helpless. and he's lying there like "come on, big guy, go ahead, i know you wanna shut me up" and porter chokes him juuuust a little at first, enough for jace to go lightheaded and dizzy, and when he lets go of jace's neck jace is like laughing about it like "oh my god that felt craaaazy, that was so hot, do it again"

and porter does, harder, enough to leave a pretty ring of bruises around jace's neck, and jace is into that too, he loves getting marked up. and atp jace is half-hard and wants more, so he tries to like, use Knock to unlock the handcuffs so they can do something more than just some light kink exploration tonight.

but like. porter's not letting him up for air. he cant get the verbal component out. and suddenly it's not fun anymore. and he's panicking as porter keeps pressing down, and he feels his windpipe shatter and tastes blood as it fills his mouth and he chokes on it. and the last thing he sees before everything goes black is porter grinning at him like he's a caught prey animal.

and then he wakes up days later, disoriented, still handcuffed to the bed, with the shatterstar in his chest <3

[bunnykitty13]

got paid extra to add a background to this chibi comm (somethin im trying to be more open to!) for @tenfingers-elevenpies ^_^

rlly wanted to improve my bg drawing skills w/ this one, thanks again for the support and patience!!

DO NOT REPOST/USE IF YOU ARE NOT THE COMMISSIONER.

[legendoftortor]

My lil labour of love is nearly complete 💚

A few months ago, I decided that I wanted a dedicated space for all of my HP/HL bits I’ve accumulated, plus some themed decor…

I’m still waiting on my Sebastian & Ominis replica wands and the stands for those, as well as the Japanese exclusive acrylic stands I ordered, but it’s nearly complete and it makes me so happy ahhh 🥰

(All of the books on the second shelf, minus Phantom, were books my Sebastian c.ai recommended for me during a random conversation about classic literature…so I added them for the hell of it 😂)

Shoutout to the Etsy/Redbubble creators who helped make this happen:

- @puridewart for their amazing wall art:

-@CosyCharacter on Etsy for the Sebastian drink cup (I think they only have Ominis available now!):

https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/CosyCharacter

-@AstroCatsCraftsCo on Etsy for the quote laptop stickers:

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1536949686/ominis-gaunt-sticker?ref=yr_purchases

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1551135323/sebastian-sallow-sticker?ref=yr_purchases

-@RikkuSpace on Etsy for the magnets and the Slytherin cat sticker on my laptop:

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1479274469/hogwarts-memories-polaroid-magnets?ref=yr_purchases

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1418659673/hogwarts-cats-stickers-matte-vinyl?ref=yr_purchases

-@keera-kennedy on Redbubble for the wand sticker:

(I can’t remember whose screenshot the other Seb photo on the shelf is as it was just in my photos on my phone - please let me know if it’s yours and I can tag you ����)

Also a massive thanks to @silverxstardust for the photos of Sebastian & Ominis on the cart (plus the beautiful necklace which I wear all the time) 💚

[daguerreotyping]

Carte de visite of a sleekly polished gentleman, backstamped Angers, France c. 1860s

[arolesbianism]

I caved and made them real. Obverse me losing more and more motivation to draw as I made each of these back to back lol

[denjidenjiji]

Noe, 10 years into the future.

Greetings, I’ve returned with a new interest. I don’t want to be here anymore.

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

The teacher seems mighty suspicious tbh. He seems sinister. I am deeply suspicious of anyone who calls the child they bought their kitten, but he also has bad vibes

[neversetyoufree]

hi! i know you usually buy the japanese vnc manga chapters as they're published. would you maybe know the website for buying the special edition of volume 11? i don't really know a lot about the japanese market. completely fine if you don't know ofc:)

Hello! I usually buy new VnC chapters (via Gangan Joker) on seymour/cmoa. However, volume 11 isn't on there yet in any form. I've done some hunting around elsewhere, but navigating Japanese sites besides cmoa is also a bit out of my comfort zone, so I may have missed something.

Edit: And speaking of missing things/getting them wrong, I did do that! What follows is an edited version of this post, as I made a mistake the first time I posted this and misread several listings for the special edition with the artbook as being for only the artbook. Whoops.

Anyway, here's some places you can buy the special edition (artbook included):

Rakuten Books

Square Enix

7net

All of the above were linked by Mochijun on her twitter, so everyone say thank you to the anon that linked her tweets to me.

It's also available on Animate along with two exclusive bonus art cards:

[messandamiracle]

Nami (at least in East Blue) is the only one of this ragtag group of youths who would successfully pass the driving test and get a license.

[gojous-adderall]

About Noé's latest neurodivergent adventures (chapter 61.5 and 62)

(things I found relatable)

1. PUTTING UR HAND UP BC U CANT FIGURE OUT WHEN TO SPEAK. EVERYONE THINKS UR WEIRD FOR IT BUT ITS POLITE AND LIFE IS FUCKING HARD

2. Struggling to follow conversation, and seeing clearer ways of communication that no one else can and getting frustrated that the neurotypicals are so obviously communicating poorly

3. Vanitas designated translator

4. Being quite blind to politics (when it comes to discrimination against himself as a vampire [and his PRIVILEGES as a vampire] and in this case against others like dhams) bc he works individual by individual instead of by social categories

5. Last of all it hurts to see the other characters calling him ignorant and an idiot all the time bc Ive been there. He's booksmart, he's intelligent, just not socially, but here is everyone writing him off as dumb just bc he's different.

Its not like he's ignorant on purpose. Of course it's important to know this shit he's learning now, and it can be done, but it's a lot harder when ur autistic and, as Vanitas said, when u grow up so isolated. Learning is a neverending process and Noé is very clearly learning and just bc he works differently like putting his hand up to speak or interpreting the world differently doesn't mean he's stupid

[softquietsteadylove]

I know you said you don’t love writing thenamesh as actual biological parents (totally respect that and agree, I especially agree that Thena probably wouldn’t be the most willing mother (although I live and die for TMTL AU)) ANYWAY! would you possibly be interesting in writing something where Thenamesh accidentally stumble into parenthood without meaning to?? Maybe a little orphan child in ancient times won’t leave them alone and they end up raising them? (probably begrudgingly on Thena’s part to begin with but she’s a secret softie especially when Gil is smitten and we all know it). No worries if you don’t wanna write something like that, just something I was thinking about!

Thena sighed, "I know you're there."

She didn't receive a reply, and she knew she wouldn't. She stood from where she had been - entirely against her wishes but at Ajak's behest - reviewing some of the senate's requests. The various war orders and border reports were draining her.

She stepped down towards the door of the room, the skirts of her white toga trailing behind her. She spoke again, "orphan."

He responded to more than that, of course. Sersi thought it was cruel of her to address a child that way, but he responded to it. A small head of blonde peeked out from behind one of the larger vases.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him with an expectant tone. She raised her chin to further look down upon the boy, "you know better than to enter the temple of Athena without permission."

Usually, she was loath to bring up the title of Athena in any way. But if she need be stuck with it, she could make use of it.

The boy shuffled out, his hands clasped in front of the brown burlap of his tunic. "I was looking for Gilgamesh."

The boy was positively enchanted by her Champion. Plenty were, of course, but this boy idolised Gilgamesh and the very ground upon which he walked. And Gil was equally charmed by the small child. She thought he entertained his obsession entirely too much.

But the boy enjoyed trailing behind Gilgamesh when he was walking between the forge and the acropolis, or watching him train fighters in the arenas, or even when he was in the orchards gathering fruit.

"Why do you think he is here?" Thena fixed her eyes on the boy. Most grown men would be sensible enough to cower, but the child stepped even closer to her.

He glanced behind him a few times.

Thena let out another breath. She was not a caretaker, she had no business with the boy steps away from clinging to her. But she unfolded her arms and knelt down to see him better. Children's heads were so small. "Speak."

"The guards," the child twisted his lips. "They tell me not to bother the gods."

They also were no gods of old, at least not how Athens imagined them to be. But Thena had no qualms letting them think that if it meant them keeping their distance, either.

"And if they are correct to tell you these things?" she raised her eyebrows. But the boy shuffled even closer to her. She sighed, "what did you do?"

This child was no angel, just like they were no gods. He liked getting into trouble, challenging those twice his size, proclaiming that he would be a fierce warrior someday. And sometimes that 'challenge' was him running up to someone and whacking them with his only possession: a toy sword, fashioned from wood (clumsily, by his own hand).

"They were being cruel," he spoke in defense of himself. His hands left his tunic to clench into tiny little righteous fists. "They were laughing at old man Socrates! One even threw his apple at him!"

Thena felt her hackles raise. She had no business policing humans; they were of no concern to her. But what did bother her was senseless cruelty to those more vulnerable than the strong. "And you decided to do something about this."

The boy's small shoulders fell again, though. "I told them I challenged them to a duel."

Thena tilted her head. His tunic was still fastened above his trousers with a rope, but there was no toy sword. "Where is-"

He sniffled, trying not to let his tears fall, "they took it and broke it in half."

That was why he had run to her. Well, he had been seeking Gilgamesh's comfort, foremost. But he had also known that if the authorities of Athens were the ones committing an injustice, only the gods would correct them.

Thena frowned at the child's tears dropping onto the stone floor. He wasn't her child; he was no one's. He was, like many others, a result of the many wars Athens had waged before, and were attempting to continue waging. It was exactly that which she was opposing, despite her title as their figurehead for war.

Footsteps approached, heavily and loudly. The boy nearly leapt in fear and scurried to hide himself behind her, even tugging at her dress like a tapestry to hide his feet.

She glanced somewhat over her shoulder in the direction of the little head of blonde hair, getting tears and snot all over her pure white robes.

"Goddess Athena!" the guards greeted her before all else. Their heavy armour and leather skirts made sound with every breath they took. "Forgive our intrusion."

She said nothing.

"We were pursuing a street urchin, and we fear he may have run in here." The captain of their group stepped forward, the adornment on his helmet distinguishing him from the others. "We wish not to disturb you. But we cannot let a stray mutt wander into the hall of gods."

Thena looked at each of them. She owed them no words, and they had no right to ask them. Her lips twitched. "You have a splinter."

The guard seemed embarrassed, rubbing at his arm. "Forgive me, O-Warrior. I was struck with a splintering old board."

A child's toy, now no doubt sitting broken in the streets. Thena looked at the others. "Which of you ate the apple?"

They looked between themselves, confused. "My Lady?"

"One of you was eating an apple," she continued, raising her empty palm. They knew what that meant, stepping back. "And threw it at a harmless old philosopher."

Their faces went pale. It brought some joy to her, but she kept her face even. Their fear was the best part of her day. Rather than deny the wisdom of the Goddess of War, they knelt. "We beg your forgiveness, great Athena."

She drew back, her blade in her hand in a second. She took a harmless swipe over their heads, although the tops of their helmets fell unceremoniously to her floor like feathers from a startled bird.

The men trembled.

Satisfied that her message was received, she retracted her powers like a cat closing its paws. "Be gone from my sight."

The men obeyed, scurrying away, abandoning the remains of their rank, leaving them to explain what had happened to their uniform. If she ever did see them again, she would not be so kind as to let them go with their dignity.

"They will not bother you again," she said more quietly. The boy was strong; he had stopped trembling. And he had, at the very least, the wisdom to let her face his multiple foes.

He sniffled one last time before stepping away from her protection. "They always do, eventually."

Then next time, she would have them begging her for their lives. She kept her eyes looking out the door as she patted the boy's head. She wouldn't have been able to read the expression on his face regardless. "Gilgamesh should be done in the forge by now. He may even take you to the great hall. I believe they are making the baklava today."

The child's eyes lit at the promise of sweets. "Can I have some?"

She did her best not to smile, lest she encourage his youthful impertinence. But she may not have been entirely capable of suppressing it. "Tell them Athena herself demands it."

The boy didn't even look twice at her, running towards the door and nearly slipping in his old, worn sandals.

"Heracles," she called after him. He turned at the sound of his name. "Return with Gilgamesh. We will show you how to strike someone properly."

The boy beamed. His cheeks were ruddy and his teeth were small and uneven, and yet they fit his cherubic face. "Yes, Thena!"

He had heard Gil address her casually too often. If he called her that, what if others thought it acceptable? But she couldn't bring herself to be angry with the boy. It was far too difficult to hold a grudge against something so sweet and innocent.

Technically, the senate decrees still needed seeing to. But she had more important things to think about. And before young Heracles returned with Gilgamesh in hand, she had some whittling to do. She wasn't Phastos, or Sersi, by any means, but even she could carve a sword out of some spare wood.