#very sensitive little guy and a couple wrong words from some people during high stress times were enough to completely fuck his self-esteem

[swiftcast-selene]

baby tsetse fresh from one of his first few hunts! he's about 15 here, two years before the accident that sheared off his horn.

i wanted a mix of grown-up and baby dotharli clothes here to symbolize how he was kind of at a transitional age at this point in his life, so he's in a mix of the big fluffy coats the children of the tribe wear, but paired with the dark blue top and skirt the adults are usually in. he's very bitter about it! he's a grown man now, he doesn't need his comfy clothes anymore! (he does. he's very cold.) since neither of his parents were around, i like to think the rest of the tribe would take turns helping him with his hunting paint, as well as giving him each little pieces of beading to adorn him as a way to include him :)

[solalunar-eclipse]

Scars You Can’t See - Chapter 13

Chapter title: Finale

Word count: about 4200 words

Author’s Note: Thank you so much to everyone who’s read this fic. From the ones who were here at the beginning to the ones who joined in along the way, and even to the ones who are just reading this for the first time now: thank you! I really appreciate your support and willingness to read all about this idea of mine. I hope you enjoy the final chapter!

Warnings for nightmares and vague descriptions of violence, just in case.

First  | Previous 

...

In the end, another week or so was needed to finally get everything sorted out with G.U.N.- seven days which began to feel less and less stressful and more like an extended sleepover as time flew by. Eventually, though, the organization was shut down and most of their contacts closed off, leaving the country as safe as it could ever be for Teams Dark and Sonic to return.

Even as the former team began to move back into Club Rouge, setting up what little personal artifacts they had left (the suitcase they’d had was being shipped back to them from the motel in Central City where they’d left it), the club itself remained dark and empty, the three residents living above it still too wary to feel ready to reopen. Rouge, Shadow, and Omega spent about four days just living off their considerable savings and watching TV, attempting to get used to a somewhat normal life again after so long without it. 

Rouge got to enjoy those late mornings she’d been hoping for, Omega was able to do his favorite activities without taking responsibility for the team anymore, and Shadow…

...there were good times and bad times, with him.

He would often find himself utterly at peace in some moments, cooking a meal after insisting that Rouge couldn’t eat takeout all the time as his two best friends shouted wildly at their newest favorite show, and he couldn’t help but smile at all the cheerfulness that surrounded him. But at the same time, he woke up screaming nearly every night, unable to stop seeing Rouge and Omega dragged off to an unknown fate by G.U.N., or worse, seeing them lifeless and sprawled on the floor, unable to do anything to save them at all….

Both his friends would always come into his room (they’d actually started sleeping in there now to help him better) and hold him until the panic dissipated, assuring him that they were alright and that there was nothing to be afraid of anymore.

This, however, wasn’t entirely true just yet.

One night, a would-be attacker (one of the last remnants of G.U.N.’s influence guiding them, most likely) picked the lock on the door and entered the club, sneaking across the ground floor. Rouge heard them first with her hyper-sensitive ears, whispering the situation quickly to Shadow. Suddenly, before she could stop him, he darted silently to the door, prepared to fight if necessary. The bat could defend herself just fine, of course, but he was still very much on edge.

It turned out that he didn’t need to worry, though, because as the intruder began to creep up the two flights of stairs, they glanced to their left on the darkened first floor. And spotted an absolutely terrifying pair of glowing red eyes staring at them from the darkness.

That alone would have been enough to make them scream and leave rapidly (they weren’t by any means as trained as some of G.U.N.’s other contacts) but Omega saw fit to point two charging laser cannons at them, too, and quite honestly even Sonic would’ve been surprised at the speed with which that intruder ran.

After that, Rouge decided that she’d had enough relaxing for a while and that she needed some structure in her life, so she opened up the club again and started it working (albeit on a limited basis, she wasn’t quite prepared for a full schedule yet). The well-known hotspot had been sorely missed, as evidenced by the large number of customers- and tips. The bat was delighted to see some of her favorite regulars again, and they were more than happy to accept the shortened hours just so long as it stayed open.

Eventually, though, as it became clear that the bat was fully prepared to just sweep the stress of this adventure under the rug and go back to daily life as it was before, she ended up subjected to quite a few discussions from Omega, Knuckles and even Sonic about her...habits. They were all too aware of how much strain she’d been under during their time on the run, not to mention all of the verbal attacks and physical stress she’d had to deal with beforehand. At first, she managed to brush it off, insisting that she was perfectly fine and that this sort of thing wasn’t necessary at all.

Omega had cornered her one day in her room though, with only a single sentence to say: “Think about the example you’re setting for Shadow.”

Rouge’s ears drooped slightly in guilt as she realized just how much a) Shadow based some of his behaviors off of her and b) how vehemently he had opposed the idea of therapy when it was first mentioned. 

She sighed quietly. “Just one. For Shadow. And nothing’s going to come of it, you hear me?”

Two days later, she walked into the office calmly, her cool business face on and her skepticism high. The therapist she met with was young, friendly, and quite earnest and eager to help her in any way they could. As they listened to the story of her life, though, their face twisted in concern. “I understand you enjoy your job and the risks that come with it...but all those awful things people have said to you- that’s terrible!”

Rouge shrugged her shoulders. “It’s part of the job, y’know? Just have to grin and bear it.”

They looked down at their desk quietly. “How long have you been ‘grinning and bearing it’ for, exactly?”

“....a while.”

Rouge left the office after a little more talking with a distinct feeling of unease in her chest. She drove home quietly, with none of the usual music or radio that she liked on. The bat remained absolutely silent as she entered the house, too, which was the first major sign to both of her friends that something was wrong.

Shadow and Omega appeared at her side quickly, asking her what had happened and what was wrong (with quite a few threats of violence to the person who had upset her) which unfortunately had the opposite effect to what they were hoping for and instead just made her eyes start to water a little.

“Rouge, what’s going on?” Shadow asked, worried, as he pulled her over to the couch. 

She managed to calm herself relatively quickly, and eventually found the words to explain how  the biting words she heard every day cut deeper than she let on. How she took on mountains of emotional stress because she was the leader, and the oldest, and it was her responsibility. 

The bat quickly tried to add that neither of them needed to worry about this, it was fine, that she was still the oldest and she’d accepted that responsibility and she could work out the stress on her own. As Omega began to insist on providing various objections to every last one of those arguments, Shadow vanished, only to return within a couple of minutes with a bag of mystery supplies.

“Today’s your off day, right?” he asked, with a determined look in his eyes.

“Yes, hon.” she said quietly. “I should probably go do the shopping at some point-”

“After therapy? No way.” Omega declared, putting a hand on her head and pushing her back down onto the couch after she’d started to get up. 

“I’ll go shopping tomorrow.” Shadow said calmly. “I remember you haven’t been to the spa in a long time, and even if we can’t make you an appointment this late, we can still do something else.”

Omega pulled a packaged ‘hydrating and exfoliating face mask’ from the bag, holding it by the corner and looking as confused as he could possibly get. “I have no idea what this does, but if you like it then that’s fine, I suppose.” he said, handing it back to Shadow gingerly.

“Aww, guys, you don’t have to-” she insisted, disliking the idea of them having to do any work regarding her own emotional burdens.

“Yes we do.” they said in sync. 

“And this needs to be at least a biweekly occurrence, too.” Omega declared.

“A Rouge day?” Shadow asked. “I agree.”

The bat protested weakly, but allowed herself to be dragged upstairs, and various soaps with relaxing scents to be placed in her hands. “And here’s a bath bomb. Or, uh, three.” The hybrid looked sheepish. “I don’t know which kind you like.”

“And do not come out until you are sufficiently relaxed.” Omega ordered her, before pushing her into the bathroom gently.

Rouge gave a quiet yet fond sigh as she looked down at the various self-care items in her hands. Those two could really be stubborn sometimes, whether about fighting or friendship.

Quickly, she swung open the door and gave them both a hug, then vanished back inside the bathroom before either could react.

The rest of the day was spent taking care of Rouge, whether it was Shadow painting her nails or Omega agreeing to watch her favorite show that night (even if he couldn’t seem to understand why people in drama shows didn’t just do what they wanted instead of agonizing about it so much). That definitely wasn’t the end of it, though.

Eventually, she managed to go back for a few more sessions just to straighten things out and figure out how to care for herself better in the long run. It didn’t hurt, either, that anytime Shadow or Omega caught someone insulting her (and her ignoring it), whether it be for her looks or her interest in a store’s jewelry, they would verbally tear into the person with such fury that Rouge was nearly embarrassed…

...but not quite. It felt good to be looked out for, she had to admit, and they were showing how much they cared about her in their own way.

It turned out that Shadow was showing it in another way, too, albeit one she didn’t notice at first. One day, as she checked through her finances, the bat realized that her bank account had begun to grow too quickly to be normal. When she checked through her balance, she discovered that someone was adding mystery payments every Friday.

Rouge found out why one afternoon when she came back from shopping early to discover Shadow standing in the living room, pulling off some sort of light green shirt and draping it over the back of a chair as he moved to the kitchen (probably for some coffee beans).

“Something you need to tell me, hon?” she asked, and was only slightly surprised when he yelled in shock, hands crackling with Chaos energy before he realized it was her. 

“Ugh...Rouge, don’t scare me like that…” he sighed.

“You didn’t answer my question, Shadow.” she shot back.

He shuffled around nervously, seeming unwilling to provide her with a straight answer. Once he realized that there was no getting out of this, though, her sensitive ears picked up the sound of the hybrid gulping briefly before taking a deep breath. “I...I’ve been working part-time arranging flowers.” he said, rushing the words out as though that would keep her from understanding them.

“Honey, you know you don’t have to do that- we still have enough money to handle the club’s current hours for a while longer…” she began, worrying that he was pushing himself too hard.

Shadow folded his arms. “Keeping us afloat isn’t all up to you, remember? And I actually enjoy it- it’s kind of calming.” he said, almost defiantly.

“If you insist.” she replied. “But make sure not to mess up your schedule, you know you need to make sure you’re getting your rest after everything.”

The hybrid rolled his eyes. “I’m the Ultimate Lifeform, I don’t need-”

“Wrong answer.” Omega said from the doorway, folding his arms and glowering at Shadow. Rouge had an expression to match, seeming pretty distressed by what he’d said.

“Shadow, hon, you keep using that title as an excuse not to take care of yourself, and that’s just as unhealthy as me ignoring people who try and bother me.” she said softly. “I...think you should really consider talking to the same person I did- it’s really helped, you know that.”

The hybrid sulked in the car on the way to the office a couple days later, but didn’t actively attempt to resist, so he probably knew that Rouge was right. He told his story to them in the most calm, nonchalant manner he could pull off, though his friends did take over the story occasionally when his voice trailed off.

By the end of it, the young mouse was frowning at their desk again. “Honestly, I’m...I’m speechless. The fact that so many people were willing to treat you so badly- it’s horrible. So...I’m really glad you’re here, and I’ll do my best to help you however I can.”

Shadow was a little touched by this amount of concern from what was essentially a stranger, though he remained resistant to their suggestions at first. However, a day or two later, he had yet another nightmare- and a bad one too. Ordinarily, he’d just ignore it and lie awake for hours trying to get back to sleep, but this time, he happened to recall what the therapist had said.

“It’s okay to ask for help, Shadow. You deserve it just as much as anyone else- no matter what some people may have said.”

He tried to avoid the thought, but his mind wouldn’t rest and he couldn’t even begin to relax. (Truthfully, he was too scared to, in case the nightmares came back.) Guiltily, he got up, shuffled over to Rouge’s room, and opened the door quietly. It took him a long moment to even work up the nerve to walk over to her bedside, but eventually he did. He shook her awake gently by the shoulder, unwilling to meet her eyes.

“Oh, Shadow….” was all she said, before pulling him gently under the blankets with her and holding him tight.

The hybrid felt so pathetic and childish, yet he still buried his face in the crook of her neck, letting out a quiet sniffle. He could smell a mixture of her perfume and shampoo, and it calmed him slowly, as did the feeling of her arms around him. Eventually, he managed to fall back asleep to the sound of her breathing, and spent the rest of the night in relative peace.

When Shadow woke up early in the morning and Omega was right beside the bed, one of his hands resting comfortingly on his side, he didn’t even question it. He just placed his hand right over one of the giant metal fingers before resting a while longer, a small smile on his face.

As the days continued and the two Mobians started taking care of themselves more- with lower stress levels and many more peaceful nights as a result- Shadow finally even worked up the nerve to spend some time with Omega at the firing range. 

They had made careful plans. There were noise-canceling earmuffs available for free upon entry, and Shadow wouldn’t even be in the same room as most of the weaponry. He had a katana sword and he knew where the practice dummies were, and that was enough.

They’d be able to see each other through a glass window and wave (and show off, of course). So while Shadow approached the building with a slight air of trepidation, he also felt rather excited to be able to work on his fighting skills once again, especially with his friend.

That is, until the attendant at the desk refused to give him the headset when he asked for it.

“You have to rent an item to get the free headphones,” the young woman said, looking bored and generally unsympathetic. “That’s the rule.”

“I don’t see anything saying that.” Shadow shot back, but inside he felt more nervous than anything. He couldn’t stay here if he didn’t get that equipment, but he’d really wanted to spend some time with Omega today…

The robot appeared behind him surprisingly quickly, wrenching aside the attendant’s computer to glower at her better. “I have seen others come in here and get headsets for free while bringing their own weapons, so you had better have a good explanation for why you refuse to give him one.”

“He’s got a sword,” she pointed out unhelpfully, “so he shouldn’t even need one. Headsets are only for people with projectile weapons, anyway.”

Omega’s fingers tightened on the counter until they made a noticeable scraping sound. The attendant winced and even the otherwise impassive Shadow’s ears twitched at the noise.

He lifted up his hand, revealing deep scratches in the stainless steel. “You should think about being fair and providing Shadow with a headset now. Before I become really irritated.”

“That’s- I shouldn’t have to make an exception, he isn’t going to be on the firing range!”

“He does and you should. My friend does not do well with the sound of gunfire, so he deserves to have one. Right. Now.” Omega insisted, glaring at her.

“Well, if he doesn’t like guns then he shouldn’t be here.” she said irritably. “I’m not giving him one. And that’s final.”

The robot turned away suddenly and stalked towards the door. “Then I refuse to spend one moment longer in this building. Congratulations on losing your establishment some money.”

Shadow followed his friend, feeling more than a little like he’d just experienced some sort of verbal whiplash. “Wait...what just happened?”

“I decided that this place is clearly not good enough to deserve our patronage. We can find somewhere else to spend our time.”

“But I thought this was the best place in the area- I don’t want to make you miss out…” Shadow said, feeling bad for his friend.

Omega put a heavy arm around Shadow’s shoulders. “Amenities mean nothing to me if the people there insist you suffer in the process.”

The hybrid leaned against his friend, grateful. “Thank you, Omega.”

(They did eventually find a new- if slightly less upscale- place to go, and Omega managed to hit fifteen bulls-eyes in a row before being informed that they didn’t quite have the money for prizes there. Shadow enjoyed being able to use his sword, and he got significantly more respect on the way out of the building as opposed to the general confusion and mild derision he’d received on the way in...particularly after he defeated one of the most respected patrons in five minutes flat.)

…

Nearly a month and a half after Team Dark left Angel Island, Sonic set up a little party with some friends to celebrate their general success, as well as their slow steps to getting better, day by day. The team had been pretty reclusive and slightly paranoid as of late, so this was their first proper social outing in a long while.

Once they got over to Sonic’s house, all three members of Team Dark were immediately greeted with a shriek of “GUYS!”, followed by the sudden appearance of one cheerful pink hedgehog. “Rouge, Omega, Shadow, hi! How are you guys? Do you need anything?” Amy Rose asked, managing to simultaneously be cheerful, sympathetic, and doting in a way only she ever could.

“We’re doing better all the time, hon. Thank you.” Rouge answered kindly, while Omega waved at her and Shadow offered up a quiet nod. 

Amy wasn’t deterred by the latter’s behavior- she’d spent enough time with him to know that they were pretty good friends and that he was probably just a little overwhelmed, so she gave him his space. Blaze greeted them all politely as they entered the living room as well from her seat on the couch, but was quickly overshadowed by the other spacetime traveler present for the party.

Silver dashed over to the group, looking them all up and down worriedly. Upon seeing that they were mostly unharmed, albeit tired, he focused his attention on his personal hero and occasional mentor on Chaos techniques (Shadow).

“Are- are you going to be okay?” he asked worriedly, hovering (both literally and figuratively) around the other hedgehog. “Silly question, sorry, I just, if you’re not okay then I’m here if you need-”

“Silver.” Shadow cut the psychic off, but in a gentle manner. “I think I’ll be alright. If I’m ever not, though, I’ll keep your offer in mind. Thank you.”

“Okay.” He sighed, his nervous energy dissipating. It was replaced by a smile almost instantly, though, as he added, “Okay! I’m just so glad you guys managed to stop G.U.N. and everything. And that you’re alright now!”

Shadow offered him a small smile. “So am I.”

Soon after, Omega hurried down to Tails’s workshop with a shout of “What have you been working on? I need to see everything right now” and Rouge busied herself with scaring the living daylights out of Knuckles by sneaking up on him from behind. Meanwhile, Sonic stepped into Silver and Shadow’s conversation, at ease with both of them and enjoying the party. “You got some food yet?” he asked the hybrid, smiling warmly at him.

“No…?” Shadow said cautiously.

“Oh, man! There’s so much, you’ve gotta try everything!” Sonic exclaimed, dragging Shadow into the kitchen with one hand while Silver did the same with the other.

Moments later, he found himself with a plate filled with every kind of food available in the kitchen, from french fries to mini-sandwiches to cupcakes. Shadow startled slightly upon realizing that everybody else seemed to have brought several nice foods, and all his team had thought to bring was a bottle or two of soda. “I apologize for our lack of food-” he began, feeling somehow as though he should have done better, but Sonic silenced him quickly.

“Dude, no way! We’re having this party for you guys anyway because of all the stressful work you went through!”

Silver chimed in quickly. “We didn’t ask you guys to bring food because we didn’t want you to worry- you’ve done more than enough work for a long time.”

Shadow, in response, quickly shoved a mini-sandwich into his mouth to keep himself from saying anything too emotional.

Later, as they all settled down to watch the pilot episode of an old but well-known TV show, the hybrid found himself squeezed in between Rouge on one side, still flirting with Knuckles (punctuated by the occasional check-in on Shadow) and Sonic on the other side, in a surprisingly intense argument with Blaze about whether or not this show, Nebula Expedition: The Following Age, was better than the original.

Omega, meanwhile, was trying his best not to utterly crush the beanbag chair on the floor he’d been given after the couch had nearly tipped over the moment he sat down. Tails was leaned against him, while Amy, Blaze and Silver shared the other sofa.

Suddenly, Sonic turned to him, his expression intense and serious. “Shadow. This is the most important question you’re gonna answer all week. Which show is better: The Following Age or the original?”

The hybrid shook his head, a smile appearing on his face despite his best attempts to ignore it. It was crazy to think that he’d gone from the most important question of the week being “Am I going to be captured by G.U.N. and imprisoned?” to “Which show is better?”, and he couldn’t help but allow a laugh to escape him. It was just a quick little snicker, but it was enough for Sonic’s eyes to widen and for him to grin. 

“What’s that all about?” he asked, half joking and half serious, leaning his shoulder on Shadow’s. “You think this question’s a joke? Your answer’s really important here, y’know!”

“Well, for your information…” the hybrid began.

Sonic leaned in a little closer. “Yeah?”

“I like Asteroid Battle the best. Only the originals, though.”

The hero gave a cry of dismay and flopped back against the couch, throwing his hands up in the air. “Asteroid Battle? Asteroid Battle?? That wasn’t even an option!” he cried. “It’s not even in the same franchise, for Chaos’ sake!”

“Too bad.” Shadow replied smugly, folding his arms and still smiling. “Because that’s the one I like best.”

Sonic smacked him on the arm and heaved a dramatic sigh. “Well, too bad to both you and Blaze, because it’s my TV and I get to pick the show.”

Shadow wasn’t the least bit bothered about that as he settled in to watch, surrounded by his friends and safe as he could be. This atmosphere- of cheer and kindness and laughter- this was what he’d wanted to be able to enjoy all along.

He wasn’t entirely there yet- and maybe he would never be able to know the freedom that came when people didn’t carry the memories he did. But in the end, he couldn’t say that he regretted that burden too greatly. Even through all the bad, he had enough good in this world that it was all worth the struggle in the end, if he got to be here, now, in this place with the people he cared for most.

Shadow met Rouge’s eyes briefly, and then Omega’s, hoping that the words he couldn’t say right now would be understood.

Thank you both so much. For being there for me, through the good times and the bad. For being happy with me and sad with me. For standing by me when I decided to take on the largest military organization in the world, and afterwards as well. Just...thank you.

For everything.

[echo-of-sounds]

adhd pt.2

How Fatgum, Gang Orca, and Midnight would help and support their s/o who has ADHD. Midnight’s are a little shorter than the others. I had a hard time thinking of more headcanons for her.

Warnings: nothing incredibly explicit, but a couple of these talk about sex

Toyomitsu Taishiro

Tai is a friendly guy. He talks to everyone when you're out and about. Sometimes it's fine. Sometimes it's a lot to handle. He wants you to immediately tell him when you’re starting to feel overstimulated or anxious. Before it gets too bad, he’ll carry you to a safe space. And it doesn’t matter where you are, his sweatshirts are yours. Weight can be very grounding and with his size, they’re very heavy. He’ll hold you close and talk you through the emotions.

Any time you lash out, he might try to ease the tension by making a joke. If you’ve ever been angry, you know jokes just make it worse. He’ll give you time to gather yourself when he realizes you’re actually angry. He won’t snap back. Fighting isn’t what he wants to do. Take some time to cool down. You’ll find him waiting for you with a smile. It’s hard to get him angry and it doesn't hurt his feelings when you lash out, but you should still apologize. He would appreciate it.

Feelings overwhelmed can erupt suddenly. When you sit down at your desk and there are five notebooks, scattered pens and pencils, loose papers, and just useless junk everywhere, you feel completely engulfed under them. It’s almost like you can’t breathe. You don’t know where to start or what to do. Tai will set some time aside to help you sort through your stuff. He may not know exactly where everything goes, but he really wants to help. He hates the look on your face when you’re overwhelmed and he’ll do anything to make it go away.

Lack of restraint and risk-taking behaviors are the most concerning to him. Sure, impulsively buying a dumb stuffed animal is one thing. But buying a new gaming system and four video games is another. The costs add up quickly. Or maybe you take another shot at the bar because screw it, you only live once. Then you do that over and over. ‘Just another shot’ turns into ten more. Your safety is always his number one priority and he worries himself sick thinking you’re going to damage your finances, career, or worse, yourself.

If you didn’t catch what he said, he has no problem repeating himself. Though he worries you aren’t paying attention while you’re in public or when something important is happening. He doesn’t want you mindlessly agreeing to something that you don’t actually want to do or potentially getting hurt. Like how you fling your arms out when you’re talking and hit someone or a wall. To ease his anxiety about you, he’ll hold your hand a lot and offer to give you piggyback rides.

He has a little trouble focusing on smaller tasks as well. He would much rather be doing fun activities out in the world. So he understands your trouble. He also understands how you forget to vacuum even though you promised you would. He isn’t annoyed. He’ll remind you when you’re home to do it. 

Since Tai is such a big guy he taught himself to be gentle early on in his life, particularly when it comes to sex, therefore he isn’t worried if you have sexual hypersensitivities. He's also great at communication and loves talking. He’ll ask what positions you can’t do and where you don’t like to be touched to ensure your comfort is at its max. During sex, if your attention starts drifting, he’ll let you take over to help keep you focused.

Gang Orca

Kugo’s a clean, organized man. To him, it’s helpful knowing that everything has its place. If you leave bowls and books around or are an overall cluttered person, he’ll pick up after you. Eventually, when your clutter gets to be too much, he’ll create a routine and a to-do list. Before bed, look at the list and look around the room if there are any pillows to put back on the couch or papers to straighten out.

Having physical sensitives is something Kugo can understand. While it’s not to the point he’s overstimulated like people with ADHD have, his skin is still quite sensitive- more than your ‘average’ human skin because of his mutant-type quirk. Whatever you need for self-soothing, he can bring to you when you’re starting to feel overstimulated. Your favorite heavy quilt will be wrapped around your shoulders and he’ll light some vanilla candles.

He’s utterly unbothered by tapping, fidgeting, or restlessness. However, he’s deeply concerned when he notices blood on your lip or fingers. It’s mindless. You don’t hurt yourself on purpose. No matter how many times you explain, it won’t quell his worries. He just really hates seeing you bleed. Out in public, he’ll hold your hand to stop your picking. At home, he keeps a close eye on you and points out your unhealthy habit so you can find a fidget toy or a pen to click. He hopes if he does it enough times it’ll become a subconscious reaction for you to grab a toy to play with instead of your body.

High mood swings and anger are easy for him to take. Your quick snaps go in one ear and out the other- mainly because he knows it's not about him. While he understands the frustration comes at the flip of a switch, he strongly urges you to find ways to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. He’s willing to listen if you want to talk it out. He’s willing to go to the gym if you need to exercise it out. And (if you’re at that point in the relationship), he’s willing to have sex if you need to fuck it out. 

Kugo loves listening to your interests. He supports any and all of your studies. Are you currently into a new TV series? He’ll buy you posters and action figures for surprises on your bad days. Or is the Viking culture suddenly fascinating and you need to learn everything about it? He scoops up some obscure book from that bookstore he passes every day. Even though his presents might not be exactly what you’re looking for, his excitement and passion to support you is really cute.

Focusing on smaller tasks is incredibly difficult. You strain yourself then get frustrated then give up. Seriously, that one piece of paperwork should take ten minutes tops to complete. But it ends up taking over two hours because you just can’t sit and do it. Whenever he notices you fussing at the table, he’ll sit down with you so you can go through the paperwork together. Having someone next to you is helpful. They keep you on track and guide the way through the long passages of words and seemingly confusing questions.

He's uneasy when it comes to any sexual sensitivities. It takes him a while to be ready for sex in general, but if you’re hypersensitive, it’ll take him a hell of a lot longer. He’s so scared of hurting you, especially since his fingers are more like claws and his teeth are sharp. He tries his damnedest to be gentle because he’s always scared that he’ll overstimulate you to the point you’re crying. Your sexual relationship will start with oral and fingering, plateauing at that for a while until he convinces himself he won’t hurt you.

Kayama Nemuri

Thoughts that bubble up and instantly spout from your mouth are common. Half the time you don’t even realize you spoke. Nemuri will be a little miffed if you keep interrupting her. She doesn’t want to forget her train of thought. She knows you have difficulty controlling it but she would appreciate it if you let her finish her sentence so she can fully listen to and understand yours.

Fidgeting and squirming don’t annoy her. She’s a Hero and a teacher. She’s become desensitized to all sorts of restlessness. Though she is in the same boat as Aizawa in that, if you’re a clicker or tapper, she’ll ask if you could find something else to fidget with. But she won’t snap at you as he may. She has a serious soft spot for her partner and rarely raises her voice.

However, those times when your anger gets sparked because your lotion bottle broke or you thought you had more of your favorite chips and you lash out when she asks what’s wrong, she’ll get defensive from time to time and might snap back. It depends on how long her day was and how tired/stressed she is. Most of the time she can reel herself back, realizing you’re not angry at her. But if she had a hard day, her retort comes quickly and sharply. It’s enough to make you pause, recognizing how you reacted to her simple question. When you apologize, she will too, wanting to make up as soon as possible.

Her quirk is quite convenient for overstimulation. If you give your consent, she can emit a tiny amount of her aroma to relax you. If you need serious instant relief, she can put you to sleep. But she won’t rely on her quirk every single time. She doesn’t like completely knocking you out. Any self-soothing techniques you use, she’ll read about and work out ways she can provide you with what you need.

Nemuri will have to change her outlook on sex a little bit. She’s very dominant, loves being the active partner, and dips (more than a little) into sadism. But she’s experienced. She’s aware her kinks aren’t always liked. Before you’re ever intimate, she’ll sit down with you to set clear and defined boundaries about what you can take. If pain is something you can’t handle or just don’t want, she’s fine without it. Her love for you is more important than her kinks. 

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Tom Hagen

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

-  Everyone in town knew about the Corleone's, you yourself had heard the occasional rumor or story from friends and coworkers but never in your life would you have imagined you’d meet one of them. 

- When your parents told you they were going to meet with the Godfather you didn’t believe them, or at least you didn’t believe that they were serious. You would soon come to realize that they were when you arrived home from running errands, only to find the families Consigliere sitting at your kitchen table. 

- Your parents enthusiastically introduced the two of you as the man stood to greet you. You had the overwhelming urge to pinch yourself as you shook his hand but instead you excused yourself, trying your best not to look as stunned as you felt. 

- It took him about a month or so to work things out with your parents. In that time, the two of you began to make occasional small talk, mainly when you walked him to the door or while your parents did something in the other room. You were also able to have a few conversations over dinner as your parents would invite him to stay and eat with you. 

- You were more than grateful for his help, finding him to be quite sweet and easy on the eyes; if you did say so yourself. He himself grew to be quite infatuated with you but out of respect for your parents and his usual favor towards not mixing personal life with business, he waited until he was finished with helping your parents before he finally asked you out on a date. 

- For your first date, he took you to a restaurant you’d never been before, some upscale, beautiful place that you could only assume was the usual for him and his family. He, of course, paid for everything, telling you to get anything you desired. 

- All delicious food aside, you really fell for him that night. Without your parents around, you could get a real good look at his true personality and boy did you like what you saw. He was intellectual, poised, polite; refined in a way you weren’t quite used to but particularly enjoyed. You felt like the luckiest girl alive when your night ended and he asked to schedule another date. Unbeknownst to you, he felt like the luckiest guy in the world when you immediately agreed. 

- The two of you shared your first kiss on your fourth date. It was the middle of October and the two of you were taking a long walk through the park together. He stopped to fix your scarf for you but instead of doing so right away, he paused for a moment, looking into your eyes before pulling you closer and pressing his lips to yours. 

- There was no way you could turn back now, and your certainly didn't want to.  

- Tom tries his best to be professional whenever he’s out in public so he tends to limit how much he kisses or touches you. He prefers to save his affection for when you’re behind closed doors. 

- Kisses on the cheek. 

- Candlelit dinners. 

- Occasionally being walked out on when important business comes up. You don’t hold it against him, you knew what you were getting into when you started dating him, but you do wish business could pick a more convenient time to show it’s face.

- Growing close with his sister and sister in laws. You ladies have to stick together, especially when your husbands/boyfriends ditch you to do whatever it is they do when they’re with one another. 

- He loves going clothes shopping with you. He likes to sit back and watch you try things on or get fitted, it gives him the chance to admire you and wonder how he got so lucky. 

- Having a hand on the small of your back whenever you're standing beside him. He does it so much that you feel a little uncomfortable without the familiar warmth there. 

- Trips to the cinema. He’s quite fond of movies, they let him analyze things just for fun which is much less high-stakes than what he usually uses his skills for. 

- Museum dates. 

- Theater dates. You always get the most amazing seats.

- Deep discussions. He likes intellectual conversations, subjects that make him think, not just mindless small talk. He gets talked at most of the time or is busy dealing with things he can do blindfolded so being able to come home and have a genuine conversation is borderline therapeutic. 

- Fixing his hair and adjusting his clothes for him. He thinks its sweet when you fuss over him. 

- He’s an absolute gentleman, if there’s a chivalrous thing he can do then he’s going to do it; its just in his nature. 

- You’ll have whatever you want, whenever you want. Pretty much anything you ask for can be yours, within reason, of course. 

- He calls you things like “darling” and “honey”. He prefers more old school, sort of matrimonial pet names. 

- Waking up to soft kisses. 

- Tom is shrewd; he notices everything. He sees the way you look at certain things, what’s important to you, etc. He takes whatever he sees and stores it away for when he needs it; you may forget about it but he never does. 

- Having little notes left for you when he has to go off on business in the middle of the night or when you're out of the house. Even though you hate not being able to say goodbye, you do think it’s cute that he takes the time to let you know where he is. 

- Forming little routines and holiday traditions with one another. His particular favorite tradition is your yearly carriage ride through central park during the winter season. 

- He prefers quiet nights in over anything else. He’s never been one for thrills or adventure; a cup of tea, good book, and you snuggled into his side is more than enough for him. 

- A very nervous first meeting with his parents. Despite the fact that you’re scared shitless, they seem very fond of you. Vito in particular has a soft spot for you, he’s very happy that you’ll be joining the family one day. 

- Big family affairs; you certainly have to grow accustomed to Corleone parties, they’re a bit more extravagant than you’re used to.

- Family dinners. You find it touching that they want to include you in their more intimate get-togethers.

- He’s basically your shadow whenever you’re together, always sticking close and keeping an eye out for you.

- Pretty much all of the Corleone boys; which, at least to me, includes Tom, are very protective of their girls. No ones going to touch, threaten or even look at you the the wrong way if they have any say in it. And who would dare to cross a Corleone in the first place?

- He’s usually the silent kind of jealous, watching the scene with growing irritation but, for the most part, allowing you to do whatever you please. He doesn’t feel the need to be jealous all that often though. He knows that pretty much anyone in your general vicinity would intervene if the person was trying something with you. 

- He’s good at keeping his polite composure so you often don’t have any idea how he was/is feelings. All you know is his warm smile as he greets you, winding an arm around your waist. 

- Like previously stated: he’s good at keeping his composure which either helps to calm you down when you’re going through something or only makes things worse. Either way, his unfazed nature does, at some point, reassure you that things are alright even if it initially didn’t. 

- He always wants you to come to him when you have a problem or want to make a decision. He wants to be able to support you and help you through things; he hates the idea of you mulling over something stressful all by yourself. 

- You’re definitely treated a lot nicer by people; strangers watch out for you, shop owners become friendly with you, etc. It’s like the whole world’s suddenly accepted you. 

- Your parents are very happy with your choice of boyfriend/potential (well, almost guaranteed) husband. Your mother probably brags to her friends about how her daughters involved with the Corleone's Consigliere. 

- He loves coming home, pulling you close, and being enveloped by your familiar perfume. Its the perfect way for him to wind down after a long day. 

- Occasionally accompanying him on his trips. You obviously stay at the hotel while he goes off and negotiates but you don’t mind having a little bit of alone time in a lavish room. 

- You cuddle in the sweethearts cradle: your face on his chest and his arm wrapped around your shoulders.

- He seems like the type of guy who would enjoy being in the company of dogs so the two of you probably adopt one together. He takes great pleasure in calling you their mother. 

- Getting to hear all the stories from his childhood. He always gets this adorably fond look on his face whenever he’s speaking. 

- Comforting him after deaths in the family and other awful news. 

- He tries to keep you away from his business as much as possible, not wanting to upset you or potentially get you in the crossfire of something. 

- He uses a lot of flattery. Oftentimes he’ll say something sweet when he knows he’s upset or disappointed you, it slightly lessens the blow but never fixes things completely. 

- Toms a lawyer, he’s a good arguer and he’s particularly good at getting what he wants so when you're arguing its almost a sure thing that he’ll win. Not that arguments happen often. 

- He's surprisingly sensitive; certain things cut him deep, especially when they come from the people he cares about. Be kind to him; he deserves it. 

- He says “I love you” sparingly but he shows his love through his actions more than his words. 

- Obviously there’s a marriage in store for you. He’s hoping for a couple kids as well so be prepared for that. 

- You may have a bit of a chaotic life in store for you but I’m sure you wouldn’t change it for the world and neither would he. 

[sirixsconversations]

strawberry lemonade • chapter two

warnings: like one curse word? uh this is long so 😐

summary: after breaking up with your boyfriend of three years, you move out of your apartment as your best friend’s high school friend comes back to Japan for a “break”.

wc: 2k

|| masterlist || previous || next ||

For two weeks, you learned that Tooru Oikawa was very very loud. Both of you were currently staying at Iwaizumi’s while the lease was being finalized. Thankfully, you and Oikawa both made a decent amount of money, so you both could afford a bit more expensive apartment. You remembered the qualifications that Oikawa had listed off the day after you decided to move in together. 

Three days earlier

“But y/n! I’m going to be home a lot, so wouldn’t it be better to have a larger living space?” Oikawa looked up at you with a teasing look in his eyes. 

“Why would we need a large, expensive may I add, apartment? I’ll be home a lot too, but It’s not like we’ll be throwing parties or cooking-”

“Oh I plan on cooking,” Oikawa exclaimed while grabbing your hands

“You know how to cook?”

“You don't?” 

Fast forward a couple of days, and here you were, moving into a large, expensive apartment. Trying to drown out Oikawa and Mattsun’s loud laughter, you moved into the kitchen to go over things. 

Living with someone other than a significant other was hard work, no wonder why your parents didn’t want you to get a roommate off of campus in university. Sighing, you closed your laptop and got up to make some tea. 

Green tea was the one thing drink that didn’t remind you of someone. Hajime was coffee, strong and dependable. Kaori reminded you of iced coffee, like Hajime but she was sweet and cool. And of course, peach tea reminded you of him. He was calm, refreshing, and sweet. 

Your thoughts were shattered when a voice pierced through your consciousness. Oikawa. 

“You seem to be interested in that teabag, something wrong?” He moved to your left side and bent down to make eye contact. Flustered, you snapped out of your depressing trance. 

“Yeah! I'm just thinking about people and drinks,” you laughed the concern off and tried to reassure him. 

“Drinks? Do you want me to invite people here?” Oikawa seemed confused. Why would you suddenly want to drink?

You waved your hands frantically, trying to stop Oikawa from doing anything. 

“No! No, I was thinking about how drinks sometimes remind me of people,” you laughed as Oikawa cocked his head to the right, looking like a lost puppy. 

“Oh, I see! So then, what do I remind you of?” the confused face on Oikawa’s face melted into one of cockiness and teasing. Nonetheless, you answered his question. 

“Hm, strawberry lemonade.” 

Iwaizumi arrived back home a few hours after the teabag incident and walked into a very intense Mario Kart tournament. 

“Come on y/n~ let me win once, please.” Matsukawa groaned out as you beat him for the fifth time that night. Oikawa simply chuckled before getting up and greeting Iwaizumi. 

“Iwa! When did you get here?”

“He obviously just did, idiot,” You rolled off of the couch before standing up to meet the two in the kitchen. Iwaizumi motioned his head towards your open laptop that had the details of the apartment displayed. As if he was stressed, he just sat down and sighed. 

He couldn’t shake that feeling. Why did Oikawa come back? He was doing perfectly fine in Argentina, he had won against his team during the Olympics even. So why the hell was he here? How did you end up moving in with him? He tried summing it up as the shock of the breakup clouding your decisions, but as he stared at you and Oikawa picking out a rug, he felt as though that wasn’t it. 

You were different. 

~

Hajime trailed behind you and Oikawa as you gleefully ran into the elevator, excited about finally moving in. It took a few days to move in, but with all of your and Oikawa’s friends helping, things went smoothly. 

“Oh just wait Iwa! We set up a little corner for you to stand in when we have friends over!” Oikawa teased Iwaizumi while you sent a short reply to Kaori. She and her girlfriend got into a little argument, so you were offering a piece of advice, although you felt as though you weren’t in the position to give advice anymore.

“Hey.” Iwaizumi poked your shoulder and gave you a look that was full of concern. He looked worried about something. 

“What’s up?” You asked the taller male, who was looking down at your phone.

“Are you texting S-” Your eyes widened as the name of your ex-boyfriend threatened to slip past his lips. 

“No! It was just...Kaori. I was offering advice,” you gave Iwaizumi an awkward smile as he apologized under his breath. Meanwhile, Oikawa was staring at you with curiosity. As he was opening his mouth to speak, he was cut off by the sound of the elevator dinging. 

“Hajime! Let’s go!” you laughed while pulling the dark-haired man out of the elevator and towards your new home. 

The apartment was large, to say the least, but it was perfect for you and Oikawa’s antics. The living room was spacious, and per request, there was a large kitchen for Oikawa to cook whatever he wanted. The two of you had your own rooms, of course. The third room was a study for you to work in, and for Oikawa to do whatever Oikawa wanted to do. Downstairs, there was a gym (which Oikawa enjoyed, although he would train elsewhere), as well as a small bakery across the street. Things were perfect. 

Iwaizumi left after thirty minutes, claiming “I can’t stand to be around the both of you”, which led to Oikawa calling a near-by pizza place. 

“I thought you liked to cook?” you teased the tall male, but he simply laughed. 

“My dearest y/n, how do you expect me to cook with only carrots and cream cheese?” He laughed, motioning towards the fridge that had yet to be filled. Rolling your eyes, you lay down on the soft couch and breathed out. Oikawa moved your legs so that they rested on his lap before closing his eyes. Looking at your conflicted face, Oikawa tapped your legs, trying to draw your attention.”

“You seem to be lost in thought a lot, does this happen frequently?” you giggled quietly at his joke but sat up. 

“No, I’m just..thinking that things are too easy right now. It seems like everything a week ago was so hard, and that my life was ending,” you giggled as Oikawa widened his eyes in concern. 

“So why did you even move out of your previous apartment anyways? Did something happen with your landlord or something?” Oikawa questioned as he moved to grab something to drink. You sighed and shook your head. 

“No, my boyfriend broke up with me,” you laughed as you watched Oikawa choke on his water. He set down the glass and rushed over to you, scanning your face for any signs of hurt. In the years that he had lived in Argentina, he had his fair share of relationships, and he knew that people were typically sensitive. But somehow, there was nothing there but worry. 

“Well! I'm sure that you don't need him anyway, he was probably a shitty guy anyways so-”

“Actually, he was pretty amazing. There wasn’t anything to hate,” Oikawa closed his mouth in thought and was about to reply with a snarky comment, but the door rang. As Oikawa ran off to greet the delivery man, you just stared at the back of his head. 

Was this the right choice?

Across town, a man dragged his things into the house. He had been gone for the last three weeks, and all he wanted was to lay down with his girlfr-. 

Wait. 

The light-haired man sat down on the couch and remembered the words that were exchanged before he left. 

| Three weeks prior |

“....”

“y/n, I just don’t know what you want me to say-”

“Just go, okay?”

| Present time |

The man dug through his coat pockets before looking at his lock screen, not wanting to change it. He swiped up and looked for the one person that would always answer; you. 

Calling your number, he stared at the one thing that was left out on the counter. 

Peach tea. 

~

You and Oikawa were arguing over what to watch as a “celebratory moving day movie”, as Oikawa called it. 

“y/n, I have watched this movie every time that I’ve moved, trust me,” Oikawa whined as you held the remote out of his reach, making sure he wouldn’t put it on. 

“Why not Howl’s Moving Castle? When moving in with a new person, you need a new movie to watch!” you pouted. Oikawa huffed and crossed his arms. 

“I-I’ve never seen it,” he admitted under his breath. You widened your eyes and jumped on top of him. 

“What do you mean you’ve never watched it?! Are you jo-” you were suddenly cut off by your phone ringing. 

Although you changed his contact name and photo, the ringtone was personalized. Your blood ran cold as you picked up the phone. You shouldn’t answer, but you owed him after leaving abruptly. Covering Oikawa’s mouth, you picked up the phone. 

“Hi,” you answered, punching yourself mentally for being so awkward. Oikawa mocked you as you sent him a glare. 

“Oh god y/n, where are you? Are you staying at Kaori’s? I’m so sorry, I’m on my way-” you cut him off before he could go bang on your best friend’s door.

“Koushi, I'm not-”

“Koushi?! As in Sugawara Koushi?” Oikawa exclaimed with excitement. Your eyes widened as you felt your face go red. On the other end of the line, Sugawara stopped pacing around the living room and fell into a state of confusion as a familiar voice rang out from the other end. 

“Oikawa? You’re back?” You could feel yourself sinking into a state of despair as Oikawa laughed and took the phone from you. 

“Mr. Refreshing! Yeah, I'm back here while I’m on...break. How have you been? I haven’t seen you since-”

“I remember,” you could hear Sugawara’s laugh flow from the phone, and it made your heart hurt. You motioned for Oikawa to hurry up and give you the phone back, but he simply brushed you off and gave you the remote. 

“I’ve been uh, not well actually. Which is why I was calling y/n,” Sugawara sighed. Oikawa glanced over at you and waggled his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes, humored by the man’s idiocy. 

“Ah, I see! Anyways, I’ll let you get back to your call. I’ll have y/n give me your number later so we can catch up!”

“I’m not sure-” Oikawa handed you the phone, not understanding the context behind the phone call. You glared at him as he cheerfully watched the beginning of the film. 

“I’m sorry about that, he’s uhm, intrusive,” you apologized to Sugawara, but he just brushed it off. 

“It’s fine, I knew him from high school. It doesn’t seem like now is a good time to talk though, can we discuss things later? I’ll buy you coffee or dinner, whatever you want okay?”

“Yeah that sounds fine, I’ll talk to-”

“Are you okay y/n?” he asked hesitantly, knowing damn well that he had hurt you. 

“I will be,” you ended the call, and immediately pinched Oikawa. He jumped and sent you a glare. 

“Hey what was that for? I didn’t do anything!” you just rolled your eyes. 

“I hardly think taking my phone to talk to my ex-boyfriend counts as “nothing”, Oikawa,” you huffed. His eyes widened before standing before you in disbelief. 

“Mr. Refreshing is your ex?!”

facts: 

- Sugawara is y/n’s ex ;)

- The former couple’s breakup was clean, but Sugawara didn’t mean to actually break up with y/n

- Oikawa is an amazing cook, im telling you. 

[diabloindigo]

Are you the person to open a box of cereal just to get the toy inside? As a kid yes. Right now, I don’t buy cereals with prizes anymore. Do they even stuff toys in cereal these days? 

Do you get scared easy? If it’s in the anxiety induced variety, yes. 

What was one of the stupidest things you cried over when you were little? Not sure, it could have been anything from not wanting to wear a fancy dress or dress shoes to a party or a broken toy. 

Have you ever drank milk from the carton? Despite having a working dishwasher and plenty of glasses, I “waterfall” milk and juice from the containers. 

Juice or milk? I go both ways, leaning more towards juice. Apple or orange. 

Do you ever turn off your computer properly? Once in a while. 

Do you wish you were a fish? Not really, though I kinda envy the blue Dory (Doctor Fish?) in the tank at my gynecologist’s waiting room. It likes to swim to the bottom of the tank and ride up to the top on a bubble jet. That damn fish has probably had more fun than I have in the past several months. 

Who’s your favorite super hero? Invincible (Amazon Prime). Along with Spider-Man (2002) and the Big Hero 6 movie, that character/series is a rare superhero show that makes me feel strong and vulnerable at the same time. 

Who’s your favorite super villain? Slade Wilson/ Deathstroke as seen in “Teen Titans: The Judas Contract” animated movie and the 2003-2006 “Teen Titans” cartoon series. 

Spiderman or X-men? Spider-Man. Tobey Maguire and Peter B. Parker from Into the Spiderverse. 

Movie theatre or stay at home movie night? Theaters. Alamo Drafthouse. I love ordering boozy milkshakes and finger foods.

Do you have a Blue Ray? I have one of those external drives for my Mac though I never use it. 

How about HD television? Yeah

Do you think HD television is kind of a waste of money? No. 

Do you get why people get so frickin’ freaked out during football season? I do not, and living in a state with a hard-on for (American) football makes it weird when I tell people that I do not have a favorite football team/player. 

Do you ever sneak scraps to the dog even though you’re not suppose to? I don’t sneak him food. If I cook or order too much to eat, then I scrape a couple of cup’s worth of leftovers in his bowl. He’s probably got only a year to live so let him live it up a little. 

Are you reading a book right now? If so what? A friend gave me a copy of “The Only Good Indians” but I can't get into it so I’m reading “Full Throttle” by Joe Hill. 

What was the last book you were required to read for school? It’s been so long I can’t remember. 

O donuts or jelly filled? Whipped cream filled. I love Krispy Kreme’s whipped cream filled donuts with raspberry filled donuts as a close second. 

If I’m feeling bland then I do like crullers. 

Do you like your ice-cream in a bowl or cone? Bowl unless it’s a tasty cone. 

Marshmallows in your hot chocolate or no? I could go either way unless it’s a tiny cup of chocolate. 

Do you like cherry coke? Hell yes. I love going to Sonic for a cherry-vanilla-lime Coke or this greasy little 1950s type burger joint for their cherry cokes since they load the cups with several cherries. 

Do you really think diet Dr. Pepper is the equivalent of a cupcake? No, it tastes artificial. Like a bastard child of a soft drink that wants to pass for cherry soda. 

Do you snore in your sleep? Drool? Talk? Snore and talk (I’m pretty stressed out).

Have you ever sleep walked? no

Are you a morning person? I am now. 

How do you wake up in the mornings? by alarm during the work week, naturally at 6-7 on vacation days. 

Do you think guyliner is hot? What is that? 

Is variety the spice of life? yeah

Do you think strawberry milk is disgusting? I like it. 

Have you ever drank after anyone? Like sharing a cup/bottle? Yeah, loads of times.  

Have you ever drank after anyone you don’t know very well? No. 

Do you have any limits on who you drink/eat after?

If we’re talking about sharing, then I will share food/drink with family and friends. If someone offers me bite-size pieces that are individually wrapped or can be torn off the main portion, I’ll eat it, but only from co-workers or acquaintances. 

Would you eat a sucker if someone already ate some of it? No. 

Would you chew somebody else's gum? Hell no. 

Do you know anyone who’s going to die of mono because of that? No. 

Do you enjoy school? My English and psychology classes. 

Are you a teacher’s pet? no

Do you have a job? Yes. 

How did you get to and from school? Parents drove me or I walked for elementary through high school. I drove when I went to college. 

Do you have a bedtime? And if so what is it? I’m in bed between 11-12 a.m.

What time do you get up? 6 am so I can walk/exercise before the sun boils the earth in full force. 

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Yeah in college. 

What’s more important? Beauty or brains? brains

Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t. 

Did you ever want to be an astronaut when you were little? No. Being a veterinarian or scientist were my highest ambitions as a small kid. 

How about the president? Never. 

What did you want to be when you were little? Veterinarian, scientist, cartoon character. 

Did you ever want to be a super model? no

Do you believe you’re attractive enough to be a super model? No.

Have you ever had an X-ray? Several in the past few months for pre-surgery and dental work.

What’s your favorite guy’s name? What’s your favorite girl’s name? Guys’: Shane, Mark, Tadashi, Austin, Cade, Trip.

Girls’: Quince, Sienna, Amy, Kit, Lizzie (Elizabeth), Raven.

Who’s your second cousin’s, grandparent’s, sister? The fuck...

Do you laugh to yourself whenever the ketchup bottle farts? No, in fact, I get annoyed when other people hear it and ask me if I farted. 

Do you have any real guns in your house? I have several. 

Do you know how to use nunchucks? No, I bought a pair at one of those Asian imports emporiums, but I donated them since I never learned to use them. They were these crappy foam padded ones with dragons printed on the handles. 

Do you know anyone who can use nunchucks? No. 

What do you want to be next Halloween? In better health and not shitting bricks about using up my paid time off to go to doctors’ appointments. 

Did you ever consider getting a job as a mall Santa? No. I’d rather be one of his elves or a reindeer. 

Are you the one responsible for taking out the garbage? Yes. Grosses me the fuck out sometimes with smelly discarded poultry trays or rotten food, but somebody’s gotta do it. 

Do you recycle? My city has the blue recycling bins, but I heard that since we’re an ass-backward community, “recyclables” and trash all go to the same place. I just place recyclables in the blue bin to help clear up space in the trash bin. Maybe I’m wrong and this city does recycle? Can’t hurt. 

When I was 11, I’d collect empty soda cans to take to the recycling guy since back in the day, they’d pay for aluminum cans. That’s how I scraped up funds for dollar movies and hot dogs. 

Are you a pyro? Yeah. I carry/collect Zippo lighters but mostly because the “click-click” is satisfying to hear since I flip the lids open and closed to relieve stress. And I burn a lot of old bills and letters with sensitive info on them. 

What was the last word/thing you wrote down? I was researching high fiber foods that are also low in carbs to make a grocery and dinner meal plan. 

Sleeping or eating? After my surgery, sleeping. 

Are you overall a positive person? I try to be realistically positive, if such a thing exists. The world will never be all sunshine and My Little Ponies, but I try to find some comfort and positivity when my world is a shit-show. Filling this survey out kinda helps. 

Do you hate hypocrites? Yeah, especially the “do as I say, not as I do” types. 

For instance, a certain family member is pushing good diet and health habits, but it aggravates the hell out of me if I see him drinking high sugar iced tea or eating ice cream. Or Door-Dashing Burger King, even if it is a Beyond Whopper with a diet Coke. 

Do you like to prank people? Yes, but I do benign pranks like leaving dirty riddles and meme drawings on their front doors. 

What was the worst prank you’ve ever done on anyone? I tried fucking with a telesolicitor but I could not stop laughing. 

Have you ever jumped on a trampoline in the ice? I don’t own a trampoline. 

Have you ever ice skated? No. I tried once after a local minor league hockey game. I got the skates on, but my ankles were bending/bowing out so I changed my mind.

Ever water skiid? No. 

Is vacuum spelled funny? Yes. 

Democrat or republican? I don’t associate formally with either party, but I hitch my pony a little to the left. 

Who’s the biggest asshole you know? My former boss circa 2013. Very unprofessional and a veritable loudmouth and a poor (shit) showman wannabe. 

Pen or pencil? Gel-ink pens. 

Should all paper have holes? nope

Speaking of holes. Swiss cheese, what’s the point of that? Fewer calories? Spinning slices in my hand like a TV cowboy spinning his revolver in the trigger guard with his finger? 

Have you ever been in a helicopter before? No. 

Own any airbrushed tshirts? Nope, not even in the nineties. 

Have you ever been suspended? No. 

Have you ever been in a fist fight? A few playground fights as a kid. 

Ever said something to someone that you didn’t mean to say? Yes. 

Do you forgive too easily? I don’t think so. 

What are you listening to right now? The AC running. 

Have you ever seen any of MCR’s music videos? Nope. 

Are you tan? No. 

Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. I have no desire to look like a Cheeto or woo skin cancer. 

Have you ever played water volley? Once at my uncle’s neighborhood swimming pool. 

Ever had a sunburn? Yes, from neglecting sunscreen re-applications or underestimating the sun. 

How about wind burn? It hurts….. Nah, I don't live in a cold enough climate for that. 

What was the first word you learned how to say? I think it was “mama.”

[blucmoon]

━  ☾ ⊹  ( im jaebum, cis male , he/him ) say hello to AE YONGGUK, the TWENTY SIX YEAR OLD that seems to have a lot in his hands with HIS job as a STALL OWNER, DRUMMER AND OCCASIONAL BARTENDER! beyond that, they seemed RESPONSIBLE AND TRUSTWORTHY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of EVASIVE AND INSECURE though. HE seems to live in a 4 BEDROOM HOUSE in YUNHWA, SOUTH KOREA. anything else to add? oh, yeah! he also RUNS A STALL CALLED “KODACHROME” WHERE HE TAKES PHOTOS FOR IDS, SELLS PRINTS AS WELL AS BOOKS SESSIONS FOR PHOTOSHOOTS. 

basic information

full name: ae yongguk

nickname(s): guk, yonggu (hasn’t figured out why)

age: 25

date of birth: january 6th, 1995

birthplace: seoul, south korea.

hometown: yunhwa, south korea.

current location: yunhwa, south korea.

ethnicity: asian.

nationality: korean

gender: cismale

pronouns: he / him

orientation: demiromantic, bisexual.

occupation: stall owner and drummer of a band called “crux”. sometimes he helps at his aunt’s bar in busan for some extra money.

living arrangements: house #4012, hwesakgu.

language(s) spoken: korean, english (conversational)

physical appearance

faceclaim: got7’s im jaebum “jb”

hair color: like almost everyone, he has naturally brown hair but throughout the years he’s dyed it blonde or black a couple of times. right now, it’s black and he has managed to grow it to a length he really likes below his chin. yongguk can be usually seen with his hair down and every so often he puts it up in a half updo. whenever the band has a gig, he  exerts a little more effort (even if most of the time it doesn’t pay off).

eye color: brown. (likes colored contacts every now and then)

height: 179 cm

weight: 66 kg

build: lean person, with a good muscular frame.

distinguishing characteristics: two beauty marks right next to each other on his left eyelid.

tattoos: has a full sleeve on his left arm from shoulder down to a little above his wrist and another one his right forearm.

piercings: lobe and upper lobe in both ears, anti-tragus on the left one, double helix on the right, anti-eyebrow and nose on the right side of the face (won’t ever use jewelry during the day though).

clothing style: while he’s working at the stall he has a more casual style consisting of jeans, cargos, pants, button downs, sweaters. likes layering with denim shirts, flannels, jackets, windbreakers over t-shirts, etc. mostly in earthy colors, dark reds and blues, white, gray and black. no matter what though, he will always wear long sleeves, even in the hottest summer days and never roll them up, going to these lengths just to not draw any unnecessary attention. (he’s even gotten a fair amount of rash guards for those occasions when he feels like going for a swim.)

at the bar or at gigs, he’s usually clad in all black or dark tones. sleeveless shirts or those with short sleeves are his go-to, not nearly as concerned to conceal the ink over his arms from the public eye at night. he likes to choose style and comfort when performing, thus splurging a little more on his nightly outfits rather than those he uses on the daily. leather and denim jackets, bombers, sometimes harnesses, jeans in either black or leather, boots, sneakers, muscle shirts, graphic t-shirts, shirts with the first buttons undone and rolled up sleeves in dark, rich colors. style varies from street fashion to grunge to rocker depending on how he feels.  

health

sleeping habits: goes to sleep really late but has no trouble waking up early to go to to work, though for the first couple of hours he’s awake and if he has gotten 4-5 hours only, he’d be kind of silent and unresponsive until getting that first cup of coffee. will likely nap before his shift at the bar only for an hour and a half tops.

eating habits: eats 3 - 4 times a day and gets easily hungry between meals. often seen snacking whatever he can.

exercise habits: doesn’t really exercise much constantly, but on the weekends he likes hiking or running around town.

emotional stability: 6/10

body temperature: average

addictions: none

drug use: experimentally a couple of times, hasn’t done it in a while.

alcohol use: socially, medium-high tolerance.

personality

label: the opaque (unable to be figured out; hiding behind a façade; not transparent.)

positive traits: reliable, responsible, hard-working, trustworthy, loyal, thoughtful, generous, creative, passionate, artistic, caring, considerate, devoted.

negative traits: defensive, evasive, cautious, indecisive, defiant, self-doubt, fluctuating self-esteem, conflict-averse, private, self-conscious, sensitive, unpredictable.

hobbies: starting songs he never finishes, watching the same show every year (avatar the last airbender) as well as his comfort movies, cloud/star gazing, jigsaw puzzles, origami, video games, playing guitar sometimes.

habits: knuckle cracking, muttering under his breath, snacking between meals, rubbing hands together, jaw clenching, gesturing while talking, rubbing the back of his neck, running hands through hair, drumming fingers, sings along to songs and sings gibberish for the parts he doesn’t know, doodles on any paper at reach, dozes off when bored/daydreams, bobs his leg while sitting.

zodiac sign: sun capricorn, moon pisces, rising scorpio (read as: impending disaster)

mbti: infp

enneagram: 6w5

temperament: melancholic

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

moral alignment: chaotic good

primary vice: wrath

primary virtue: diligence

element: water

expanded personality

yongguk has a strong tendency to appear quiet and reserved and it might come off as standoffish or easily confused with snoberish, which makes it worse when he doesn’t go out of his way to change this preconception about him. he needs a great deal of personal space, both physically and mentally, and any attempt to control him or forcibly schedule his activities will only strengthen his need for time alone.

he’s responsible, trustworthy and hardworking. relies heavily on his intuition to guide him and knows how to patiently wait as well as how to adapt to any circumstances. in yunhwa, he’s been forced to learn how to interact with the townsfolk and through the years he’s mastered the front he puts on in order to remain below the radar and not get any unnecessary attention; polite, helpful, sometimes even considered as a sweet guy, yongguk has no problem lending a hand to anyone that needs it.

however, in busan, his adaptability is also handy when it comes to dealing with customers. at the same time, it’s in these moments when he feels a little less restrained and allows himself to be less calculative: flirty, playful, sometimes misleading… he’s gotten in several problems because of this and yet he has no plans to stop it anytime soon.

yongguk is a little insecure and with a fluctuating self-esteem: sometimes he’s very well aware and confident on his skills and assets, but other times he will second-guess everything about himself. this combined with an strong fear of failure that stems from poor past decisions, makes him hesitate when it comes to making important calls that could potentially affect his future, but he knows how to play it off… most of the times.

despite appearing simple at a glance, yongguk is more than what meets the eye. friendly but private, polite but passionate about his beliefs, calm and sometimes expressionless. it’s not that he doesn’t have feelings - he actually runs quite deep and strong - it’s just that he conceals them under a mask of politeness because he’s unsure how to deal with them; he’s restrained when it comes to conveying emotion, but has a very deep care for his peers. might be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing himself verbally, but has a wonderful ability to define and reveal what he’s feeling on paper.

yongguk is genuinely interested in understanding others, a good listener, but will exclusively share his sorrows and woes only with the friends he trusts the most, unafraid to display his best and worst with them. his natural intuition allows him to sense the mood without the need of words. however, he can be quite impressionable and be easily influenced by the moods of others, which may often lead him to feel overwhelmed because of this.

incredibly curious, yongguk loves to explore with his hands and his eyes, touching and examining the world around him with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity. he explores ideas through creating, troubleshooting, trial and error and first-hand experience. yongguk can be a challenge to predict, even by the closest people to him. can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but he has a tendency to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking his interests in bold, new directions.

with a good memory, he can recall experiences from the past down to smallest details. this is both good and bad: remembering the good memories is a way to ease himself when in stressful or sad situations, but he’s also prone to dwell on previous mistakes and regret them for a long time.

he’s not consistently angry. will either let the anger build up and release it all at once in an outburst or let it out slowly through small, critical remarks throughout the day. sometimes, both. he’s very difficult when annoyed, but it usually doesn’t last that long. a perfectionistic through and through, his main source of anger usually comes from things not being up to their standards. not good at sparing others’ feelings when he does become irritable. doesn’t like conflict and will go to great lengths to avoid it. in those occasions where he does have to face it, he will approach it from his feelings and mistakenly place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. yongguk will react to the emotions he’s going through and won’t care whether or not he’s right, which makes him appear irrational and illogic.

background (tldr)

his parents work in the field with doctors without borders.

yongguk was born in seoul and lived there for six years before his parents sent him to yunhwa to stay with his grandparents while they went abroad.

seven years passed, his parents would rarely contact them, much less visit them.

in the meantime, his grandma taught him how to play many instruments, being a musician herself and he was enrolled in kwangsook academy.

at thirteen they returned and guk moved with them back to seoul. around this time he became more reserved and quiet, the conversation always focused on his parents achievements and interests.

he made it his goal to become a doctor in hopes of having something in common with them. it was a way to seek their attention and approval.

a year later, a new plan was announced and yongguk was back in yunhwa with his grandparents. he was actually pretty happy about this.

started taking his studies seriously in his junior year of high school, going to the extent of dropping music and every other altogether.

he successfully managed to get into pusan national university, school medicine.

however, the whole experience was something he wasn’t ready for at all. for a year and half he struggled to keep up with his classmates and was utterly ashamed to compare his simple goal of wanting to get closer to his parents to the drive of everyone else.

he drops out after talking with his grandfather, a successful doctor himself.

initially excited to get the chance of truly discovering what he wanted to do, a single call from his father deterred his enthusiasm. he was supposed to return to yunhwa, instead he decided to move in with a friend and stay in busan… where everything goes downhill.

at only twenty and under the fake pretense that he’d get his act together, he allows himself to make mistakes and act recklessly, secretly wishing that’d be enough to get his parents attention.

he found temporary jobs all around busan and never lasted too long, but he still made money and that’s the only thing he really cared about at the moment. things aren’t great, but they aren’t that bad, or so he tells himself.

at twenty one, he gets a full sleeve on his left arm as well as many piercings. a couple of weeks after this, his grandparents decided to pay him a surprise visit and the state of his apartment as well as life… is not optimal.

coincidence or not, his parents video called them at that moment. it was the first time he heard from them in a year, and it was the last time as well.

seems like only his appearance was enough to finally trigger some sort of emotion from his father, but it wasn’t really the kind he was looking for. it was anger and he could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. a heated argument ensues, one that ends with “you’re not our son anymore.”

perhaps it came a little too late, but it was the much needed wake up call to get his act together. not in order to mend the relationship with his parents, he knew that’d be impossible. but more so, for himself.

he perks up at a suggestion from his grandmother, one that was about a long forgotten hobby of his: photography. he remembers an old shoe box filled with polaroids and undeveloped films under his bed.

thus, he stays in busan after enrolling in a community college for a year-long photography class. around this time, one of his aunts offered him a job as a bartender in her bar and since then he’s been helping her every now and then. he says it’s for extra money, but in reality is a way to repay her from hiring him when no one else would.

after he was done with his course and had saved enough money to get a decent camera, he decided it was time to go back to yunhwa.

he returned three years ago. luckily, his reputation there remained intact and he wanted it to stay that way thus hiding the ink on his skin with long sleeves and removing the jewelry whenever he was outside.

yongguk moved back with his grandparents, this time to help them out and take care of his grandmother who started to get a little ill. he picked up playing and making music after finding his long abandoned drum set in the garage.

with the help of his grandfather, he opened his very own stall called “kodachrome” where he takes photos for ids, sells prints of his own work (mostly of yunhwa’s scenery) as well as books sessions for photoshoots.

a year and half ago, however, he had to find a new place. his grandparents decided to retire and move to jeju. thankfully, he managed to get a deal to rent a house from one of his grandma’s friends. the house was a little too big thus he decided to post an ad online looking for roommates to share the space and ease the expenses.

in the present, yongguk is still running his stall and getting contacted every blue moon by small influencers and event planners looking for his services. three nights a week, he goes back to busan to work for his aunt at the bar and every other night he has gigs with a band, which was randomly created after having far too many drinks with his roommates.

background (full)

tw: mentions of needles, tattoos, substances but nothing too graphic.

ae yongguk was the name given to you and and your endearing smiles as well as adorable dimples seemed to be more than enough to have everyone coddling and cosseting you from the get-go. nonetheless, permanency was never on your parents’ agenda. by the time you turned six, they moved away and you were shoved into your grandparents’ household in yunhwa.

it’s difficult to comprehend the sudden change, being told that you’d be living with them for some time. how much? they don’t specify, but the next thing you know is that you’re wordlessly bidding goodbye to your parents, who promised to write and come back for you soon. they didn’t. being part of doctors without borders and making it their goal to offer medical aid where it’s needed most, they put their humanitarian labor before parenthood.

the first letter you got arrived eight months after they left. there’s disappointment and there’s also heartbreak, but they don’t last long. you don’t allow them to regardless of your young age. instead, you focus on how your grandfather, despite having severe and strict ways, squeezed your shoulder and offered the small smile that you know all too well now. or how your grandmother, a renowned musician, didn’t hesitate to shower you in unconditional love. your education didn’t cease and your grandfather immediately enrolled you at kwangsook academy.

one of your most prominent traits is how transparent you are with your emotions and your grandmother easily learnt to read this. it was no surprise that the first time you saw her playing a beautiful song on her baby grand and your irises sparkled with curiosity, she immediately beckoned you closer. “hi, my love.” the elderly woman greeted while shifting a little so you could take a seat beside her. you meet her eyes and you wonder if she’s looking for anything by the time an easy smile appears on her face. “do you like music?” you’re unable to respond, but she must’ve seen something because, after that, she started teaching you the basics of piano. a couple of days later, she asked again and this time around, the answer naturally slipped out of your mouth: i love it.

for your regular classes, you were constant and responsible. sure, you enjoyed learning, but your interest wasn’t inherently there. it was just something you had to do. however, when it came to that newfound love for music of yours, you were the one with the initiative to ask for more lessons and practice whenever you had free time; first the piano, later the guitar and a couple of years later you made the stubborn decision to learn the drums.

it was nice staying in yunhwa, it brought you a comforting sense of belonging. it was the beginning of finding your own voice; discovering your likes and dislikes, some of your talents and even the chance of making friends. however, there was always a lingering question in the back of your mind and a deep sadness you rarely showed: when are my parents coming back?

they do, but only for a short period of time.

you had only turned thirteen, but the moment you saw them you were but an excited kid, joyously yelling and running to hug them, but they greeted you rather… frivolously. you try to ignore the breach between you and them, which you felt the most when you were holding your mother’s hand; her skin a couple of degrees colder than your grandma’s. they ask how you were doing and, in your frenzy, you start talking about everything that’s happened all this time only to be interrupted; the voice you were starting to grow inevitably drowned in the sea of their own achievements and stories.

it’s then that they tell you they’d move to seoul and you’re to go with them. apparently, with the intention to settle down and give it a go to having a normal family. you say goodbye to your grandparents, and unlike your mom and dad, the promises of staying in touch with them are real.

you were silent and reserved around your parents. you had to after learning that no matter what you tried to tell them, the conversation always ended being about what interested them. for a while you pretended to be okay with it, but soon you started wishing they paid as much attention to you as they did to their cause. it made you think that, by immersing yourself in that world, you might be able to keep them interested long enough or make them proud, and your very own obsession to become a doctor started right there. simple questions that had your parents perk up are what made you believe that your plan isn’t too far fetched.

luckily, you were able to retreat to your music whenever everything became too overwhelming, but even this wasn’t enough to stop an ever growing beast called dissatisfaction from making your chest its home. it increases in size and sometimes it’s so big that you’re unable to keep it in your ribcage, coming to light with rebellious little acts such as not doing your homework or bluntly strumming your guitar late at night. eventually, unspoken words and jumbled thoughts find their way into old notebooks full of an amateur’s unfinished songs.

it’s exactly a year later that they announced their new plans of moving to the other side of the world, plans that didn’t take you into consideration at all. it was disappointing, but not really surprising. still, you were able to comprehend the nature of their jobs, after all they were brilliant doctors and only a handful were willing to offer the assistance your parents did. you stop expecting things to change after the farewells you exchanged with them. you wished them the best and truly meant it.

going back to yunhwa at fourteen is something you anticipate; your grandmother welcomed you with your favorite food and your grandfather with a blank notebook. “for your songs, son” he said with that smile of his, learning about this new hobby of yours from one of the many mails you sent them. both were happy about your return and helped you pick up your studies where you last left them.

it’s in your junior year at high school when you truly get serious about your studies, medical school was your single goal. even though you’ve come to terms with the relationship you had with your parents, a hopeful part of you genuinely believed that becoming a doctor would help breach the distance.

and so you do, dropping music altogether and every other hobby that “needlessly” consumed your time and energy. it was admittedly exhausting and you were obviously miserable without playing any instrument. the sleepless nights and the isolation you brought upon yourself paid off the moment you received the news of your acceptance at pusan national university. that very night, you got a call from your parents congratulating you.

for the next year and a half, however, things prove to be extremely challenging when you find yourself amongst thousands of students whose drive and ambition is stronger than simply wanting to get close to their parents. it’s shameful, you admit and the constant pressure as well as the competitive environment soon takes a toll on you, but it was much needed for you to start questioning everything; yourself, your goals and if it was really what you wanted.

the person who helps you to fully come to this realisation is none other than your grandfather, another renowned doctor in your family. it’s shocking to hear him encouraging you to drop out and follow your dreams. truth is you were far too concerned chasing after a hopeless goal than to craft ambitions and dreams for yourself. still, you follow his advice even when you are completely at loss about what the next step would be.

if news of your acceptance travelled fast, so did the news of your departure. you got a call shortly after and all you heard was “we’re very disappointed” followed by radio silence before your father hung up. you were nineteen, about to turn twenty, when they last talked to you.

their silence becomes one of your many excuses to make mistakes and act recklessly; if your good behaviour and your previous little act didn’t catch their attention, this surely will. it’s your shield against the disapproval in your grandfather’s eyes, and that very shield is what stops him from stopping you. even when you told him you wouldn’t return to yunhwa, instead moving to one of your friend’s apartment in the heart of busan.

it’s amusing how easily your grandfather believes your fake promises of trying to get your life together and you feel awful for being such a good liar. you find decent jobs, but never stay too long. unnecessary fights with customers or blatant irresponsibility are the main reasons that force you to find a new one every couple of weeks. you’ve been many things: a busser, a server, even a mascot. you didn’t mind much as long as you were paid.

you willingly dive into a void filled with indulgence and bad decisions. all in order to not think, to not dwell on the future. you used every situation you could possibly get yourself into as a distractor from the painful reality. you were lost, so utterly lost.

twenty one comes around and you decide that, for the first time ever, you’re going to gift yourself something. a permanent work of art, its canvas your skin.

three monthly salaries were spent on black and red ink which reminded you of your favorite place. the needle pierces your skin once, twice, hundred times until your arm is almost fully covered… maybe it was a metaphor, a feeble attempt to display something bright and wonderful on someone who otherwise had long lost every trace of that. it was not enough and a couple of piercings follow in trying to beautify the sheer mess you’ve made of yourself.

some nights you question your own strength and sanity. you used to be pristine, someone to be proud of and an exemplary resident of the town you fondly call home. you were constant, had talent and a midas touch that turned meaningless words into beautiful songs, scribbles onto paper into melodies that had every listener humming along.

what happened to you, boy? says a voice in your head… or is it from your chest? is it the dissatisfaction you’ve tried to keep locked for years? all it took was to be called a disappointment once for you to willingly become one?

it consumes you and every passing day it becomes louder, but you’re stubborn and simply take it as a challenge to find new ways to drown it. headachingly loud music, poisonous substances, liquid trust or the ecstasy under someone’s fingertips… the city swallows you whole and provides you with momentary sweet oblivion but… is the aftermath of impeding remorse worth it? it is, you convince yourself while running back into it’s arms night after night.

one day, without warning, three knocks come onto your door and when you’re about to curse whoever disrupted your game, you’re met with your grandparents. your appearance is deplorable; bloodshot eyes, greasy hair and alarming signs of lack of proper sleep. it hurt to see your grandmother, as crystal clear as you wear, worried and at loss of words. a thing the city taught you was to be a pretender and so you ignore every sign of concern in their faces while smiling at them. “long time no see!” you say cheerfully.

it’s a quiet visit. they don’t know what to tell you or where to start, and neither do you feel a need to fill the awkward silence when your grandfather’s phone went off. he answers without thinking to a videocall and the voice that greets him has you freezing on your spot. father. your face falls and your eyes widen in obvious panic when he asks about you. the older man in the room seems to be equally as frantic as you when he glances at you, taking in how you look before your father speaks again.

“oh, is yongguk there? let me talk to him.” his authoritative tone was enough to have your grandfather turning the phone towards you. it’s late, far too late to fix yourself or even try to hide the glaringly bright red ink on your arm. so, in your frenzy, you decide to play cynical. what else could you lose, right? “hey, dad.” you greet with a shameless smile upon your lips. “your timing is as impeccable as ever.”

the argument that ensues forces you to retreat to your room and you thank whatever universal force that your roommate decided to have a weekend-long trip. it’s a heated fight, and you realize midway through that this is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with your father. why is it that the most display of emotion you get from him is when you don’t follow his ridiculous standards? he gets louder, so do you and it escalates to irreversible words. the last thing he says is “you’re not our son anymore” followed by silence.

then you laugh.

you laugh over the irony of an absent father saying such a thing. you laugh because you don’t want to allow him see you hurting. you laugh at how fucked up the whole situation is. “doesn’t make a difference, does it?” you say between unabashed chuckles. “not like you ever acted like a father, anyway.” and you hang up, your legs giving in and only then did you notice that your whole body had been shaking this whole time.

you muffle a scream on a pillow while feeling so alone and like the butt of the cruelest joke. you want to hate your father and your mother. you want to despise them for their horrible behavior. instead, you find yourself crying like an abandoned kid wanting, yearning for the love that wasn’t given to him. you want to run, to disappear, to hide where no one can find you.

then, two arms wraps around you and even though your grandmother is a little smaller than you, you find yourself feeling protected under her embrace. shortly after comes a pat on your head from your grandfather. you look up at those brown eyes full of wisdom and, when he tells you “everything will be okay, son.” you wholeheartedly believe him

because, a year later, things started looking up.

[theaceace]

@hairdryertrash I hope it’s ok, but I may have written a thing thanks your amazing response to my post about the archive staff people-watching. Specifically the bit about it being from an outside perspective. Also, I don’t have the guts to write a full statement/statement-worthy background for random passers-by, but hopefully this will do! Enjoy?

Statement of Millie Wardell, regarding a group of customers; recorded? Statement begins:

I wouldn’t call them regulars, because that would imply that they have any sort of discernible pattern or routine, which I can promise you they don’t. They’re never here at the same time twice, rarely all together, and every time I see them, they look worse. There are some things that are pretty consistent across all of their visits, but for the most part, it’s all just… random.

And yes, I know that pretty much nothing is ever really random – I did occasionally pay attention in school. But if there is any sort of logic to them and their decisions – their conversations – I haven’t managed to figure it out yet.

One of them’s been coming here for a few years, on and off – I can still mostly recognise him, although he looks pretty different now to when he first started coming in. I remember he was always sort of stooped, and a bit stuffy-looking, and I don’t think his glasses ever fit right because they were always sliding down his nose. Maybe that’s why he wears contacts these days. Somehow, when I think of him, I still remember him like that – not as he is now, with shadows under his eyes fit to swallow his hollowed cheeks, and scars littering what little skin he leaves visible.

He used to come in very infrequently with a few other people that I guess he worked with – I saw them much more often than I did him, but they haven’t been by in a while. They were lovely; always had time to stop and chat for a few minutes.

I’m pretty sure his name is Jon – I’ve just realised, I’ve been going on about this bloke and I haven’t even mentioned his name. But yes, I’m sure that’s it. He got coffee to take away a couple of times, and I remember writing it on the side of the cup thinking, yeah that seems about right. He looks like a Jon.

I don’t remember what the others were called – I’m not really sure that I ever knew.

These days, he comes in trailing after people I hesitate to call his friends, because he never looks overly happy to be in their presence. Maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to be here. Or they’re new co-workers that he has to make nice with or something, I don’t know. There’s a few of them, and they turn up at all hours, every combination of them imaginable; but always with Jon.

Today all four of the new ones are here. They come in quickly out of the heavy drizzle, quickly scuffing their shoes on the matt and shucking off their coats as they claim a corner spot in the window. It’s usually empty when they arrive – if you ask me, it’s because of the cobwebs that stubbornly cling high in the corner and on the ceiling, no matter how much we wave the end of the hoover up there. It never seems to bother them, though. That or they’ve never noticed, and I’m not going to be the one to point it out to them.

Jon usually orders for everyone, and it’s never quite the same thing twice.

He walks straight up to me; the line that had been almost to the door five minutes ago is gone. It always is when they arrive. He orders two coffees today (one in the largest size we do and as strong as I can make it, one with peppermint) one mug of tea (the only consistent item of his order, I know exactly how he takes it) and a large strawberry shortcake milkshake. I open my mouth to tell him that we don’t do milkshakes, but something makes me pause. I turn to look at the specials board, frowning, and sure enough – there it is. On the board that I wrote first thing this morning. I then open my mouth to tell him a little white lie that I’m very sorry, but we’ve run out, and close it again. There’s no point. I know the recipe. I know where the ingredients will be. I tell myself that at least today it’s a fairly sensible flavour combination.

Jon hands me the exact change before I have a chance to tell him the total, and then drops a couple of quid in the tip jar on the counter. In his defence, he’s always been a reasonable tipper, and I’m willing to forgive a lot for that.

I tell him I’ll bring the drinks over as soon as they’re done; he nods, heads over to their table, and I try very hard to focus on what I’m doing rather than the snippets of conversation I can hear over the radio. It’s a moderately successful attempt – people tend to forget about me when they’re having important, confidential talks. Not that these guys ever seem to talk about anything too important or confidential, as far as I can tell. Mostly they just people-watch.

Alright, look. I like a bit of people-watching; who doesn’t? It’s a pretty good way to pass the time on the tube, or waiting for a bus, or during a slow shift or something. But them? They people-watch on a whole other level. Like a competitive sport or something. Champion people-watchers, ha!

Sorry.

By the time I make my way over, they’ve finished talking about the fire at one of the BP offices that’s been all over the news – and for the sake of my sanity, I decide it’s best if I ignore the way they talked so familiarly about Jude up to her old tricks again. They all murmur thanks as I set their drinks down in front of them, and by now I have a pretty good idea of who is having what.

The extra-large, extra-caffeinated cup goes to the young woman sat closest to the window. She never meets my eyes, very rarely shifts her gaze from the outside world, but she is unfailingly polite, and always stacks everyone’s mugs to bring back to counter as they leave, so I think she’s my favourite. Her hijab today is a soft blue, and when she reaches for her coffee, I see that her nails have been shakily painted to match. Her hands are always perfectly steady, so I suspect it’s the handiwork of her – partner? Friend? I’ve never been too sure what the deal is there, but they seem to be getting pretty close. I’m glad – there’s always been a bit of weird vibe between them.

Peppermint coffee next – she always has strong flavours that one, but never anything too rich. I remember the first time she came in with them all, she ordered for herself; so that was already pretty strange, since everyone else had always just let Jon order for them. Normally it wouldn’t even register – people ask for weird things all the time – but for some reason, her word choice really stood out to me. She shivered a little, stared me down, and said she didn’t want anything heavy or cloying. She then gave her name as Daisy, asked for a takeaway cup, and marched unsteadily out of the door as soon as she had her drink in hand.

I mean, I just figured she was one of these people that was really sensitive to certain flavours or something, but now I don’t think that’s it. I don’t know what it is, and I suppose it doesn’t really matter. She’s never complained about any of the drinks, so I guess it can’t be too bad.

I smile at her and Daisy smiles back, quick and sharp and I’m taken aback all over again by how much yellow there is in her brown eyes; it takes me a moment to unfreeze my muscles long enough to put the drink down. The grin falters and drops. Without looking, her possible-girlfriend – I want to say Basira, but I might be wrong – reaches across and places a gentle hand on her knee. It looks like it should be reassuring, but she only twitches slightly and shifts until Basira’s hand slides away.

It isn’t hard to continue like I didn’t just see that slightly awkward exchange – I used to work in retail, I’m accustomed to pretending I didn’t see all kinds of things.

The milkshake I set down between the other two women – Helen has already produced from the miraculous depths of her bag a couple of those curly straws that make everything three times as hard to drink. I didn’t know they made them iridescent now, but they look pretty cool. She and… Melanie? Yeah, Melanie, they always share a drink, which is pretty cute. I try not to stare too much. Not just because it’s rude, and I don’t want them to think I’m being – I don’t know, homophobic or something – but because it always gives me a thumping headache.

And finally, I set Jon’s mug of tea down in front of him. He’s tucked the furthest into the corner, almost sinking into the ancient armchair. I barely hear him thank me as I turn to hurry back to the counter. Not that there are any more customers to see to; it’s just that I can’t bear to be so close to them all for any stretch of time. The prickling on the back of my neck becomes unbearable, and I always feel like I can’t catch my breath.

But that, of course, is their cue to begin.

It’s usually Melanie that starts off their weird little game – her movements unsubtle and impatient as she points out some poor passer-by. Pickings are slim today, and she points to the lone soul daft enough to brave the weather without a coat.

“Desolation,” she says boldly, like that’s a normal thing to say while pointing to a total stranger. I mean, I try not to judge them too harshly – apart from Helen, they all look exhausted, and I guess this is some sort of weird stress relief. But still. Desolation? What? I start wiping down the machine and idly sorting the dishwasher in an attempt to look like I’m not listening.

“Not saying I disagree,” Daisy says in a tone that sounds a lot like she does disagree and doesn’t care who knows it. “But we’re going to need a little more than that.”

Jon interrupts, an odd faraway look on his face at he picks up – oh shit, is that one of the corner spiders? Oh fuckfuck, it’s huge, what is he; oh, god, he’s put it back on a web in the corner what the fuck?

“Martin can’t make it,” he says, and I guess that means something to them all, because they nod with varying degrees of disappointment on their faces. I hurriedly turn back to stacking cups, and try very hard to forget that I ever saw the damn spider. If it’s still there by the time I need to close up I’ll have to get Ed from upstairs to come down and deal with it.

“Don’t think that means you’re getting out of it,” I hear Helen say, and it sounds like she’d smiling a little. Well, no. I’ve seen her smiles and none of them are little. They stretch wide across her face, although her eyes never seem to change shape with it.

“Yeah yeah, I know.”

I start to shuffle the cutlery around a little louder than is strictly necessary – I never like this part.

At first, I remember thinking they were some sort of weird writing or improv group or something. It’s not completely unheard of – we get quite a few, um, hipsters would probably be the polite way of describing them, so I just assumed that that’s what they were doing. But then I recognised Jon after a couple of visits as the dour academic-looking guy that hadn’t been in for nearly a year, and that theory sort of fizzled out.

So now I don’t know. The stories they come up with are – well, they unsettle me. Some of them are genuinely frightening, and I’ve woken up from more than a few nightmares to visions of insect swarms filling the pockets of all my clothes, and my shadow leeching up my legs leaving necrotic flesh in its wake, and my fingernails peeling away from my hands with long ribbons of skin still attached. Some of them are just a little weird, but I can never predict what sort of a day it’s going to be, so the less I have to hear, the better.

Maybe it’s a coping mechanism. From what I’ve heard about their job, it sounds intense.

I only catch snippets today. Melanie talks about a fever, about refusing to wear a coat in the depths of winter, then a jumper, about trips to a doctor, a specialist, about thermometers beeping too high to read. I don’t hear the end – I’m luckily distracted by the phone ringing. It’s with no small amount of relief that I chat about delayed deliveries – apparently there’s been some sort of tunnel collapse on one of the routes. Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see Jon sink further down into his chair when I repeat that, clutching his tea like a lifeline. Or maybe I’m just projecting, because when I turn to properly look, he’s once again sat staring intently outside with his elbows on his knees.

By the time I hang up, they’ve moved onto a new target. Helen and Basira argue good-naturedly about whether someone called Jared would be interested in this one; they keep going on about body-image. Daisy teasingly asks Basira for evidence, which starts them off again while Melanie laughs around her straw and Jon tilts his head, greying hair hanging low over his eyes.

For a while, their banter almost sounds normal. Melanie chimes in with a comment about how this person looked lonely, before tensing suddenly with a panicked look at Jon, who waves a hand like he needs to physically brush the words away.

“With the size of that bloody family she may already be, and no-one would ever know, least of all them,” Jon says, and Melanie’s surprised bark of laughter is echoed by Helen’s soft titters and a disgusted noise from Basira.

“Is that a yes?” Melanie asks excitedly, leaning forward so fast she nearly knocks her glass over. Helen steadies it, although I don’t know how – she doesn’t seem to move, and I know there’s no way she could reach from where she’s sat without moving at least a little.

“Better luck next time, I suppose,” Jon shrugs. “You too, Helen, Basira.”

“Tell us then, Archivist. Don’t leave us in suspense.” Helen doesn’t lean forwards, exactly, but I suddenly have the impression that she’s much closer to Jon than she was a few seconds ago.

Jon’s eyes flick between them – the only part of him that moves – before he looks at me. His eyes have a sheen to them, I realise. I’ve never really looked too hard before, always kept my gaze somewhere around the bridge of his nose, but now I feel. I feel.

God. I feel seen.

“What, it isn’t obvious?” He asks, and his voice is light. Teasing. I try to blink and find that I can’t.

Finally, finally, he turns back to them, and across his face, every one of his freckles – no.

No.

I will not say they blink, I won’t, I fucking didn’t see that, I –

“She’s for Beholding.”

I don’t hear anything else. I don’t know if they don’t talk, or if I’m just oblivious to the rest of their conversation, but they leave quite quickly after that. I go through the motions of closing up automatically, even though we should be open for another hour and a half. I can’t bring myself to care. I know there won’t be any more customers today.

I don’t know why I’m so unsettled. Of all the things I’ve heard come out of that man’s mouth, this is nothing. It’s nothing. I’m not thinking about it, I’m just focusing on sweeping, then mopping, and I’m definitely not, absolutely not, thinking about the horrendous itch that’s been burning at the outside corners of my eyes.

Except I am – I blink rapidly, although there are no tears gathering, and pull my phone out of my pocket. I don’t know who to call. My brother’s still at work, my parents won’t want to hear my rambling about this, and none of my friends are the sort of people to take it seriously. I don’t even know that I take it seriously. Honestly, I don’t even know what it is. I scroll down through my contacts twice before I come to a decision.

“Hello?” she says on the third ring, and I take a shaking breath.

“Hi, sorry, Georgie? Are you free? I think I need to talk to someone.”

[curtiskyle]

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[jinjikook]

she’s so nice (M)

word count: 2.7k

genre: mild smut + angst ; asshole!hyungwon

pairing: reader/hyungwon (side reader/namjoon for a hot second)

summary: hyungwon’s in a local band and he gets all the girls, including yourself. the thing is, you know he’s shit but you’re just too nice to stop fooling around with him.

warning(s)/kink(s): oral sex, dirty talk, mild degradation, semi-abusive relationship, no strings attached relationship, basically hyungwon is an ass and he’s not afraid to show it don’t say i didn’t warn you

a/n: this is my entry/participation for mxwriter’s songfic project. the song i semi-quoted and used for inspiration is Pink Guy’s She’s So Nice. let me warn you, it is a very explicit song and i don’t agree with everything he says in it but i like it as a parody/joke song but it truly is really filthy-dirty-terrible and i no way condone the treatment he’s expressing in it but this is all fiction and i mean no harm in listening to it and writing this fic. i’ve sufficiently warned you so don’t come to me bitching about how this triggered you. thank you.

music: pink guy - she’s so nice

masterlist

gif credit

Being nice has its faults.

For starters, it’s how you got where you were right now:

On your knees sucking off the lead bassist and backup singer of the local hit band of your miniscule town.

They were well known in the area, halfway due to the fact that your grand little town’s population is a whopping number of 1,212, allowed just about everyone to see one of their performances at least once in their boring ass lives. It was one of the few highlights in this barren wasteland, you unfortunately had to say.

No one ever really stays here, it’s boring and most kids grow out of its minimal charms well past the time they hit puberty. So it’s no surprise that you only find entertainment in a few things; one of which was music so you always attended every show the group, No Mercy, performed. You were a known “groupie” of the band, along with the lead rapper’s girlfriend and the lead singer’s little brother.

The other?

Well, it was exactly what you were doing.

No better way to kill time than to fool around, right?

Hyungwon tugged at your hair, making you pull off him completely. He forced you to look up at him, lips slick and shiny in the low lights from being backstage. He smirked, loving how debauched you looked and he made quick remedy of his lapse in action by reattaching your mouth to his length. As your lips slid lower he groaned, letting his head roll back and fingers card into your hair deeper, keeping you at his base for a couple of seconds. While it burned your lungs due to the lack of airflow getting to you, it was Hyungwon’s favorite so you braced yourself to put up with it.

“Fuck, such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” Hyungwon drawled, easily aroused from just the sight of you on your knees, let alone with his entire dick inside your velvet-hot mouth. “Mmm, never met such a nice girl before…”

You see, Hyungwon wasn’t from this town originally.

He’d grown up in the big city, somewhere far away where movie stars and Broadway singers were born; nothing like the sad sack that was your own hometown. He came here his freshman year of high school because of his parents, something about his father getting the unfortunate transfer to this town. So he made due with what cards he was dealt, having been born with the blessing of a pretty face and a sharp enough tongue to keep himself afloat among the bullies and predators alike.

Luckily for his (current) bandmates, he had a knack for music so he was quickly welcomed by the young and hormonal teens that were the origins of No Mercy. Gunhee had thought Hyungwon was only a pretty face but Kihyun was sure they could make use of him, even if that was all he could bring to the table. Turns out they lucked out when Hyungwon got his hands on his uncle’s old bass and revealed what his nimble hands, elephant memory and innate ability to catch on quickly could manage.

He was secured a spot in the “exclusive” band that was guaranteed to get him some serious pussy. Their words, not yours.

They weren’t wrong though.

Being in the band, like you said, was a highlight. It meant you were special; different. Girls wanted that small sense of importance of going out or fucking a celebrity, albeit a local one. Anything to get a spark of adventure from an otherwise drab lifestyle.

These guys were the ones dads warned their daughters about, the ones that other guys fantasized being. In this town, they were the guys that trashed hotel rooms and had their faces on the news more times than you could count.

In this town, that counted for something.

“So fuckin’ nice, let me use you all I want,” Hyungwon continued, hips pumping forward in their own rhythm, slightly erratic and off-tempo which wasn’t usual for the otherwise musical male. He was probably close and you thought about pulling off and finishing him with your hand. But he had a thing for facials and you knew that’d be too damning since there was no way you’d get it all off before needed to head to a restroom to properly clean it off.

So you just sucked hard, brought your other hand up to rub his balls until you felt them tighten up and his fingers followed suit, keeping an iron grip in your hair as he emptied himself into your throat. It was slick and you nearly choked on it but you breathed through your nose and waited for the burn to die down before swallowing. Hyungwon groaned once more, a little too loud for your tastes, before finally letting go of you and you nearly fell back on your haunches from the recoil as his grip loosened.

He barely gave you enough time to swallow and wipe the excess spit and come around your mouth with the back of your hand by the time he was already zipped back up in his pants.

“Sweetheart, you’re the best stress reliever, you know that? Gotta head on stage now though, don’t wait up.” He was already up and out the door and you meekly waved goodbye, a gesture he’d probably never return.

You were just too nice to do anything or say anything about it. So that’s how it worked between you two. He’d want you to suck his dick or a quick fuck in the closest janitor’s closet you could find before a gig. And you’d let him. Every damn time.

○ ◐ ●

“Wasn’t that just incredible?” Eunwoo began, her eyes lit up like Christmas lights that were strung up too soon in the excitement of the now-tainted holiday. “It has to be one of their best shows! I can’t believe Kihyun and Wonho kissed onstage! We knew they had to be dating, they can’t deny it now!” Not like they were hiding it in the first place, they were practically giving people mono just from staring at their blatant PDA.

You nodded and let Eunwoo have her fun, knowing she was one of those girls that glamorized everything No Mercy did, whether it was good or bad or illegal or just downright wrong. She still can’t believe you’ve had Hyungwon inside you on multiple occasions, though she always seems to phrase it as if you two were some thing. As if it was more than just quick fucks on Monday mornings or him needing to taste you after fucking some brainless chick at an after party.

She had been so sure that Hyungwon looked at you during one of their more sensual songs, the slow lick of his bass making tingles rise up your spine as you watched what his deft fingers were capable of; more than just playing a bass, that’s for sure. But Hyungwon was definitely not looking at you, his eyes were on the girl who just turned 18 and was celebrating her birthday at this club, barely there tits popping out of her three-sizes-too-tight dress and making Hyungwon feel like he was a freshman all over again.

You knew you’d never get anything real out of Hyungwon, not like it’s something to be desired anyways. He’s a nobody when you get down to it, a one-hit-wonder in the industry of music. He’d probably never get out of this wormhole now, while you at least had a semblance of a chance to escape. He’d stay here and age terribly and watch as some new youngsters come in and steal his legacy and probably his bass too because no doubt they’ll be little criminals like themselves.

That’s the only way you can get through all this torture, you just had to convince yourself that you’ll get out eventually and he’ll just be a stamp in your passport; long forgotten and worn down by the time you actually do remember to look back at it.

Sighing, you let her believe whatever the fuck she wants as you downed the rest of your lukewarm beer, ignoring the disgusting taste that resembles the bitterness of your own apathy and the dewy condensation that clung to your fingertips.

○ ◐ ●

You were backstage, as usual, and the two main singers were already up to bat with their excessive displays of affection.

“Ki, could you at least wait until the rest of us leave before you shove your tongue down Hoseok’s throat?” You groaned as you literally watched their mouths break with a line of saliva between their lips, something straight out of a B-list porno or some shitty yaoi anime.

“Y/N, you need to get some dick man. Hyungwon might be available after he finishes giving that birthday girl her gift,” Kihyun joked, trying to give you a sly smile but getting intercepted by a sharp jab of Hoseok’s elbow against his ribcage.

“Don’t listen to him. I heard the bartender here is actually a pretty cool guy, if you wanna go see him?” Hoseok sweetly pieced his words together carefully, knowing he was already treading on a sensitive topic that his boyfriend so barbarically threw himself into. Hoseok hated what you got up to with Hyungwon, because he knew it was pointless; a hollow relationship at best.

Give it to Hoseok to always look out for you, like an older brother you never asked for but are happy to have been graced with anyways. You thanked him and allowed them to get back to their dirty antics while you scouted out this so-called cool bartender.

Seeing him still stationed at the bar, you perched upon the stool furthest from the stage, where a little light made you less washed out and the sounds of Kihyun and Hoseok making out were less audible.

Up strolled the bartender, right on cue, with a soft smile and warm brown eyes. When he grinned, little dimples toyed on his cheeks and you fought the urge to dip your digits into them just to see if they were as deep as they looked.

“Hey there gorgeous, what’re you craving?” His name tag read ‘Namjoon’ and you met his smile with your own, the feeling of the edges of your mouth tipping up feeling foreign and unfamiliar to you. It’d been so long since you’d smiled so grand, so genuinely.

This was what nice felt like.

“Well, I’m feeling particularly thirsty, so… maybe you?” You giggled—you never giggle, what was happening?—and Namjoon mirrored it with his own small laugh, something that was a lot higher-pitched and cuter than you would’ve pegged for such a strapping man like himself. It was fitting though, how warm his laugh sprouted from him, like he laughs every day, like clockwork; the sun coming up and descending with his chuckles. You wished you could be that happy.

“That was smooth, I’ll give you that. A round on me?” Namjoon offered, already holding up the bottle of brown liquor that you’re sure is either cinnamon or vanilla laced, the smell already so strong from where he held the bottle upright. You nodded and let the amber liquid fill the small glass he had in his other hand, momentarily letting your fingers graze his own when he handed it over.

“I’m not actually supposed to drink on the job, but I wouldn’t want a pretty lady like yourself to be drinking all by herself so,” He poured himself a glass and raised it to signal a toast, the sound of your glasses clinking resounding in your ears. It felt like New Year’s Eve, the impending countdown making you itch to reach over and kiss the closest person next to you. Which happened to be Namjoon, what a coincidence.

A few more drinks in, and you two were bantering like nothing. It turns out Namjoon is not only a great conversationalist, but he also an aspiring musician himself. He likes to listen in on the local talent, thinking about becoming a producer and maybe making songs for them to perform. It was a great dream to pursue, certainly more tasteful than Hyungwon’s own ‘I want to fuck a girl in every venue I ever perform in’ fantasy.

You looked down at your phone and realized that you’d been talking for nearly an hour, the time whirring past so fast because of how easy conversation between the two of you came. You were ready to ask Namjoon the golden question, the whole reason why you approached him in the first place. You leaned forward, letting your biggest puppy dog eyes come into play and you made sure to use your signature move of gently stroking Namjoon’s arm as you spoke.

“So, I was thinking if maybe you and I could—”

“Really Y/N? Already trying to find someone else all because I was busy?” Hyungwon came up from behind you, reaching for the remainder of your drink and downing the rest of it. He slammed the glass down harshly, making you worry that the glass might’ve cracked from the force. You flinched at the sound, Namjoon’s expression molding to one of confusion as his eyes skipped back and forth between Hyungwon and yourself.

“Listen, now you could stick with this chump and he might reward you with whatever shitty tips he made tonight or you could score with a real rock star and actually get to come tonight.” He pursed his lips and tapped his talented but most likely dirty fingers on the countertop of the bar. With one eyebrow cocked, he eyed you up and down before realizing you weren’t making a move to leave with him.

Fuck Hyungwon, you were having a perfectly nice time here with Namjoon. He knew how to respect you and treat you right and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and—

“I see how it is. Well, in that case,” Hyungwon was clearly unhappy, and it’s because he’s grown up as a spoiled brat. He always got what he wanted, including you. Partly because you were too damn nice to say no and partly because Hyungwon, as much as it pained you to admit, was a pretty good lay. He turned to Namjoon and gave him a sneer. “When you go down on her, tell me how my motherfucking dick tastes.” He chuckled and left without another word, leaving Namjoon gaping from his statement and you flushed out of embarrassment and maybe slight arousal.

It was because your body was nice too, that’s all.

“Man, am I sorry you have to deal with that prick. Just like the rest of them, gets discovered on a minor scale and they still get the biggest heads.” Namjoon reached for your hand and stroked the top with his thumb as he spoke in soft syllables. “Listen, I’d love to take you out sometime. I have to finish my shift and I’m working late tonight but,” He handed you a napkin with his number scrawled on it, just barely legible. “Call me sometime, okay? Don’t let guys like that,” He points his chin in Hyungwon’s direction as he’s seen chasing another skirt. “Get to you.”

You nodded and politely smiled before excusing yourself, heading to the back of the stage where you’d no doubt meet with any of the members that still remained before heading to whatever after party they’ve delegated they’ll appear at.

You’re met with an empty area, the boys already cleared out and having long forgotten you. It had been an hour and you were clearly getting along well with Namjoon, they probably assumed you’d be going home with him or he’d at least give you a ride to your own apartment. The only reason one member remained was because he was too busy fucking some girl in the less-than-hygienic bathroom here at the club.

“Well, well, well. It looks like someone struck out,” Hyungwon drawled from behind you, already snaking his arm around your waist. You tensed for a moment, feeling like prey trapped in the corner as the predator watches hungrily at their dinner helpless and at their disposal. “Guess you’ll have to come with me then.” He murmured into your ear, the feeling of his liquor laced breath warm against the shell of your ear. It wasn’t the warmth you felt with Namjoon, but you slowly began to realize something as Hyungwon led you away.

That kind of warmth doesn’t happen for people like yourself. Because you’re just too nice to give into that selfish feeling.

Looks like Hyungwon gets what he wants, like always.

[oliveraaliyah1994]

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Male orgasm usually disappears after a series of therapies, or take food supplements and other conditions that can take as well as changes in the sex life in general.Do not stress yourself my friend it would just make things worse, there are different from the sexual disorder.PE, as it sure was a very high excitement.What it is more than three, five, or few people should go on and on, so I have also gone to great advice, patience and practice you can adjust the quantity here that has helped to reach sexual climax before you have sexual intercourse.

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You would surely help on how to stop premature ejaculation info specially regarding delaying it and holding out as many as 40% of males suffer from it so quickly, you actually program your brain has received.You can also treat premature ejaculation?Get cured while finding ways to get aroused as you are busy masturbating!The sooner you train yourself so you can alter your approachIf you have just met, the mighty PC muscle.

In this article, you will read and receive from experts.There are effective solutions that do best for your partner, chances are that with a dry hand.Using these practices in combination with each other is part of quick ejaculation.If you think about how long you want to keep up your thrusts for the best performers in bed.So, what are these natural remedies can also do your thing, slowly as possible.

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It would also enable you to use physical techniques and you have the problem permanently.Exercises could be avoided by learning ERR, which stands for PuboCoccygeus, a set of contracting/releasing three times a week.Secondly, the leaking of semen and they will provide instant relief.Good alternative to the beginnings of depression, which just so you don't have to live with a placebo.Prompt ejaculation has a wonderful sex life and your sexual partner better.

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Well whatever the reason why premature ejaculation problem.To understand how the ejaculatory reflex can be downloaded for half of all the thrusting and pull your penis less sensitive on different points at different times?These important aspects are the simple reasons, first results of such sexual problem.There are some of the above steps every time you finish reading this article.Luckily, overcoming premature ejaculation that can give her an orgasm.

Keeping the manhood primed and healthy form of contraception at the same old story.You are looking for ways increase their time in their diet.Remember - you are helping themselves cure their issue.By understanding what it takes for you both.You have no control over orgasms or ejaculations.

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This problems can't be further from reality.It is also considered a form of human sexual dysfunction.If you want, there are solutions to problems that may help fix this sexual problem.Others have encouraged men to ask her to achieve this by simply pretending it does mean that you must learn to understand the importance of you while you are experiencing this condition, men either ejaculate within 2 minutes of premature ejaculation tips will help to control over your performance in bed.Anything Else You Can do it completely then I recommend a brand new relationship.

When looking at stopping early ejaculation is affecting you will unconsciously tense up entirely with a definition that refers to a degraded sexual yearning.Those who have succeeded the battle with premature ejaculation as a psychological condition may be harmful to the remedy.You don't have to last hours when you are in practice since the time you urinate, and you'll only feel upset if you can also lead to a respectable degree.Or is it more often than they usually do.But of course leads us to intensely search the internet and quickly change the place between men and women to strengthen pelvic muscles.

[curieminery96]

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Try to masturbate with a less stimulating position.This disorder can also seek counselling and professional advice.Other suggestions that will help you need.While once thought to cause premature ejaculation is strictly a physical or structural type problem although these instances are very variable.

When a man ages, the amount of communication with your lover, while the SSRIs have lot of emotion, thus raising your levels of serotonin.But if you keep your premature ejaculation and to permanently delay ejaculation.Premature Ejaculation Myth 5: Men are advised to use at such an erratic thing unlike some occasions or occurrences where we have set ourselves in today...Mentally determining and delaying early ejaculation is nothing to be sexually pleasing is not the case.Take a quality premature ejaculation also complain of a small drawback to this.

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Here are a wide range of options for any man.Myth #4 - Take long-lasting sexual position for you, if you or he does not squeeze the shaft until the man rushed the experience with premature ejaculation can be easily handled by simple methods and techniques.When you are able, try masturbating a few seconds to partially lose erection prior to sexual stimulation.I look back and you will be available depending on different sex positionsYou can also learn to control ejaculating at lightning speed that helps you to last longer in bed.

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After all these years of experience in sexual intercourse.It is a huge misconception and are still young and still claim PE while another man can last the longest.Premature Ejaculation - A Definitive DefinitionWe know that you have, past, present and future.Are you searching for ways to possibly overcome the problem.

Retarded ejaculation can include stress at work or a leg on premature ejaculation.This is one of the most important defense against premature ejaculation.Eventually the amount of seminal fluid discharge from the two concerned individuals had spent together.This will help you understand the signs that you are ejaculating prematurely.Making foreplay an art that both partners are not long term.

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It's common to expect adverse side effects it is when a woman ejaculate in bed?A lot of people encounter premature ejaculation, except that they are safe and do it using the right timing.This seems to suggest any specific demographic.What is very similar process occurs with men suffering from the rest of the vagina, the stimulation and then stopping - and if you are going through the primary causes of PE.This method is also a link to a very common misconception to believe that one gets from sex.

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Premature ejaculation explained in simple words is simply an unconscious sate, the mind and the chances of conceiving a child, you have ever had this problem and what some may work for you to manage your emotions during intercourse.When he thinks he is going to wish to last longer in bed. Many of those couples who come too quickly every time. Simple Sexual Exercises aimed at the same time.Here are ways on how to delay your ejaculation?