#care that simply does not exist in this current system!

[b-blushes]

also i am going to the dr tomorrow so please can you send some spare good vibes my way if you have them thank you

[gulfiya007]

On lukola fandom

Here’s some venting about the lukola fandom, and its ways, and consequences, from an ordinary polin, Bridgerton and Luke fan.

Starting from the way Luke’s loved ones and friends are treated by its adherents. Especially his girlfriend. The hate towards her is visceral. The whole phenomenon of bullying and stalking someone just for existing and posting on their SM account from time to time probably needs to be studied by social studies scholars and parasocial relationship specialists, cause it’s new heights apparently.

So, what if she’s proud of Luke as her boyfriend and wants to show it? What if she wants to mark her territory sometimes, to which she has a right btw? What if she trolls haters and delusional IRL shippers occasionally? Hers is probably the most relatable behavior. I myself, as an introvert millennial who doesn’t run one single SM account and cringe from the exhibitionist nature of current SM posting practices, still recognize that there’s nothing unusual about that kind of posting per se. Why was Luke’s former gf, Jade, allowed to post him all the time (which is totally alright btw), but Antonia hinting at having, say, a dinner with Luke is shady, attention-seeking, desperate, needy and despicable?

It's not that I care particularly about her. In fact, I couldn’t care less if she’s replaced by Luke with some other woman in a couple of months or if she is his future wife and mother to his kids. I still believe, regardless of her status in the relationship, she deserves basic respect and decent treatment as a human being that we know pretty much nothing about. She does not deserve the vilification and demonization that she gets.

Luke too, has a right to privacy and respect for his personal choices that are nobody’s business. He owes no one anything in terms of disclosing his dating life and confirming his relationships. If for someone, Luke bringing the girl to almost all his travels and events with himself, is not a proof or statement in and of itself about her being his girlfriend, then that’s on them. No amount of intentional misreading and skewed takes on photos will trump this simple fact.

Also please don’t bring up virtue signaling and other cancel culture stupidities, such as moral judgements passed on Luke and his close ones for political or other values purportedly held by them, of which we in fact know zilch. It’s clear that this is just another useful tool in a shipping crusade.

Nicola too, deserves, for a change, to have her numerous statements taken seriously. Let alone, privacy. She’s being stalked by her so-called fans to insanity. I am sure she, to put it mildly, is uncomfortable about her “queen” and “goddess” status among the cultists, and being a projection vessel for a myriad of sad women. Cause she knows very well this type of passionate idolatry is an inch away from hate, and the plus sign switches to a minus sign the minute she does something not to their liking, a wrong brand or person supported, or not enough disciplining of Luke is exercised. The most delusional thing about lukolas is them truly believing themselves to be Nic’s or Luke’s fans.

Which brings us to the crux of the matter. That IRL shipping is bad, period. Some lukola bloggers on tumblr, TT and IG half-heartedly try to reign in and admonish the more unhinged segment of the fandom by telling them to behave and not bring their bul..t to the actors' feet. However, this is what the lukola discourse platforms, by simply existing, still do - breed crazy fan behavior. Because the problem lies in the belief system itself. No amount of reservations, house-keeping and discipline by lukola discourse 'leaders' will do away with the tenets and premises of this religion that seep through and twist every discussion and speculation about the figures involved (Luke, Nic, etc). Since every reasoning should work towards a certain end goal, all means and distortions are good to achieve it. Finding faults with Luke's character and behavior and demanding a 'redemption' from him, hating and criticizing Luke's friends and family, attributing motivations to the actors and their loved ones that best suit theories, online stalking etc. A myth about Luke ever publicly stating he was single during promo, a ridiculous myth about Bridgerton cast and showrunners shipping lukola (news flash – nobody in the cast cares about their co-stars’ private lives, stop the kindergarten), or the “papgate” affecting in any way Luke’s job prospects. Myths upon myths that build the house of cards of the lukola dogma. I myself wouldn’t care a damn about this fandom if it really contained itself to its close corners and group chats, however, unsurprisingly, they spill over in a grand fashion and permeate all discourse.

You really believe the innocent delulu fangirling has no by-products? These are the staple manifestations of the lukola and of any IRL shipping fandom, and popular lukola theorists are pretty successful in justifying and reinforcing them. And it should not be surprising that some followers, the most zealous and stupid ones, take it too far and actually harass people and be annoying in SM.

As a Luke and polin fan, I am annoyed by this, but I am 100% sure this sh*t is affecting the actors, and you all can kiss goodbye to the chemistry between Luke and Nic naturally displayed during promo. I am sure polin will not be affected, for L and N are excellent actors and friends, but you all soon will look sadly back to S3 promo tour as magic that will never come back.

[naamahdarling]

Today's medical update, please pardon any weirdness as I am using speech to text, and please excuse how long this is. I put an excellent picture of Fancy at the end for you. Here we go.

The shortest version is that my GP is going to try and centralize this. I have made an appointment for Monday. We are going to start over from the very beginning. New specimens, new cultures, everything.

The long version is kind of wild ride. It's going under a cut

My GP is now telling me that on two of the occasions that I went to Urgent Care or the hospital for a UTI, the records say that I did not actually have one.

This makes no sense whatsoever. I was symptomatic and I could smell it. On both of these occasions, I was told in no uncertain terms that I did have one.

I do not believe I was lied to at either facility. That means the only possibilities are that the testing was done improperly, the results were charted improperly, the records were sent over improperly, or I didn't understand what was being said to me.

At this point, with this absolute clown show that has been unfolding around me, this ridiculous circus where each act is fraught with nonsensical antics even more baffling than the ones before, I am literally unable to come to any conclusions. This is absolutely maddening.

And it's frightening, because there is something wrong, genuinely, and it might be something that they are unable to detect with the methods they are currently using. That's scary for a multitude of reasons, one of which is that they are not going to be willing or able to treat something if they do not think it exists. The other is that it opens the door to the possibility of their being further testing, which makes me violent to even contemplate. I want what is wrong with me to be simple, easy to treat, and relatively benign.

This has been frustrating, and drawn out, and I am sick of it. By itself it isn't enough to completely break me down. It's been almost unbearable when combined with the facts that I have serious concerns about the health of three of my cats, that my father seems to be worsening in his condition, that I have several other medical storylines going concurrently with this one, one of which is extremely stressful and frightening, and that all of this fuckery and running around has caused me to have to cut out most of the very, very few enjoyable and meaningful activities that are present in my life.

It has impacted my ability to be present for my partner, and for my pets, for me to sustain communication and relationships with people who are not my boyfriend or my best friend, and to simply fucking relax.

Also I can't fuck. Like, I know that this is the laugh at horny people website, but that is significant. Receiving not just physical touch but intimate touch is one of the very few ways I have of assorting ownership over my own body at this time.

I feel my identity has shifted from an internally defined "struggling person just going about their business" to an externally defined identity as a patient with a body that is sick and who must now structure their life around the demands of a system that does not care about me in the slightest, even though the providers usually do.

From the outside I know that this doesn't seem that terrible. I've spent the vast majority of this with no pain, and the times I have been in pain haven't crested a 3. If it weren't for the fact that I don't know what it is, it would be relatively trivial!

Unfortunately, because this isn't all I have going on, it's been really fucking things up. I space my appointments out so that I have time to recover between each one. I have PTSD, I have medical trauma, I have emotional reactions after stepping into a medical facility for any reason, and when things go wrong even in a very small way they can be intense. I manage this by allowing myself to have the reaction, experience all of the feelings, and come back to myself. It is a healthy way of doing things. It doesn't work, though, if I'm having to deal with one thing after another and no time in between to recover from it. This is essentially what has been happening to me for 2 months. Appointments, phone calls, messages, fixing mistakes, having to explain my history repeatedly as it gets ever more complicated. There's a lot more to it than just one appointment a week, which is already a lot for me.

I know this is something that chronically ill people deal with all the time, often for years, often for life, but the extent of it is new to me and very difficult to bear. My personality is vanishing under the weight of all of this crap. I do not feel like myself.

So yeah, sorry for rambling so much but this is just been...I don't even have the words to describe it. Nonsensical, but in an unfortunately consequential way. I've been going in circles all this time, apparently.

I don't really expect anybody to read all of this. But if you did, thank you. It means a lot to me. This place, and all of you, function as a sort of pressure relief, and a source of constant, pleasurable entertainment. I know many of you empathize with what I'm going through, and that helps me to feel less alone. That all by itself is so important.

Anyway, here's my cat.

She got to be on the puzzle table and was very smug about it.

[poisonheiress]

To start this lovely commentary, I will place my cards out in the open:

Blitzo is not the villain in his and Stolas' relationship nor is Stolas the victim in this realtionship either.

To some, this statement is a recognizable fact, one the canon caste system even supports. However, many of the current fanbase seems to disagree with this idea, comparing Blitzo to abusive characters like Stella, Crimson, and even Mammon. Others even put him on the same level as those previous characters. Besides this being one of the greater leaps of logic I've seen come out of this fandom, it is simply not true.

Yes, Blitzo does not treat Stolas kindly outside of their sexual agreement with Blitzo appearing to outright ignore him most of the time if not purposefully avoiding him. However, notice the wording I used there: sexual agreement.

Stolas and Blitzo have never been in an official romantic relationship and their current agreement is not one Blitzo entered in on equal footing with Stolas nor out of affection for him. Blitzo agreed to be with Stolas as a means of survival for his business, somethings that is extremely rare for imps to have due to their caste position.

Time and time again we are poorly shown that a rather strict caste system does exist in hell. This means that relationships with people in different castes carry different problems and consequences for those involved.

For those in higher ranking castes in a high-lower rank relationship, the worst outcome of being with a lower ranking demon appears as a diminished social standing and lack of respect, but the lower ranking partner doesn't get that. For the lower ranking demon of the relationship, they risk dehumanization by their partner with them loosing all autonomy and independence. They are no longer themselves; they become an extension of their higher ranking partner, an object that can be tossed away if the partner

Blitzo, who was raised in this system and still suffers under it, is right to fear stepping into a relationship with Stolas, and he has more than a right to refuse to be kind and gentle to a being that is literally hanging his livelihood over his head for sexual favors.

It does not matter if Stolas truly cares about him or not. Their relationship from Day 1 was not something Blitzo could walk away freely from nor even wanted to be in. In physical, social, and economical might, Stolas holds all the cards in their relationship, and nothing Blitzo can do can change that. Stolas could kill Blitzo and no one would turn an eye because he is an imp and Stolas is a Prince.

As a result, Blitzo has no obligation to be kind to someone who is a high ranking member in the system that views him as equal to dirt nor can Stolas be upset about Blitzo doing such when their relationship was born from Stolas taking advantage of Blitzo in a vulnerable situation.

Stolas is no victim here, and if Viv had researched caste systems, the true victim of the relationship would be clearer: Blitzo.

Because at the end of the day, Blitzo remains under Stolas' thumb, an unwilling subject to whatever tasks or desires Stolas forces on him. That is all the caste system of hell allows him to be.

[nothorses]

I have an acquaintance who I believe has been gone to the tirf side and while I don't think she's going to be able to be talked to on this the thing she posted to me to try to be like "well this trans man thinks you can't be specifically against trans masc people" did make me think like,

If transmisogyny has been expanded from just being about the type of extreme violence described by serrano to a lot of other items, but some people don't believe that anything similar can be described to trans men, then it feels like they are saying that men are the default in the way that anything bad that happens to a trans man or trans masc person is just transphobia but bad things that happen to trans women are transmisogyny.

Like I feel like it's a bit like, what is just transphobia any more then, is it something which just applies to all trans people or is it the same transphobia which can affect trans masc and trans fems?

Are there limits to what can be called transmisogyny like people are putting to transandrophobia?

Honestly, I think this idea kind of rests on this very weird model of gender categorization that really just ignores what transphobia is, and how it actually works on a systemic level.

The implication here is that trans women are women, therefore what they experience is misogyny. Which means that because trans men are men, what we experience cannot be misogyny.

We see this same logic in "TME/TMA" ("transmisogyny exempt/transmisogyny affected") language, which also conflates oppression with identity: do your actual lived experiences with oppression determine your "TME/TMA" categorization? Or are people of certain identities simply considered exempt from transmisogyny, by nature of those identities alone? In practice, it is overwhelmingly the later.

If we consider transmisogyny to be a system of oppression that is expressed in particular ways, rather than a kind of oppression that only impacts certain people, "TME/TMA" categorization immediately falls apart. Nobody is "exempt" from a system of oppression that, for example, polices conformity to idealized western standards of cis womanhood in sports; we know for a fact that women of color are regularly deeply affected by transmisogynistic rules and laws in sports. Those same women do not face many other aspects of transmisogyny-- currently they are not in danger of being places in men's prisons, for example-- but clearly, that doesn't mean they're exempt from transmisogyny, either.

The point here is that these are systems of oppression, and while they target certain qualities in people, their goal is ultimately to police certain societal rules. It doesn't matter what your identity actually is; only that you are breaking those rules.

Trans women are women, but they are not seen as women by these systems. They are seen as people who are breaking a particular set of rules; not "woman", not "man", but "other". Even "defective", "failed", or "outlaw". Transmisogyny exists to police their particular ways of breaking those rules, and it does not particularly care how they actually identity themselves, on an individual level.

Trans men are men, but we are not seen as men. We are breaking rules, too, and there are systems in place to police those rules; we've named them "transandrophobia" (or "transmisandry", or "antitransmasculinity", or whatever) so we can talk about them a little more easily.

[arabian-batboy]

you do realize that jill stein basically is in with the russians and is in putin’s back pocket? she’s practically a russian asset. it’s so obvious that she doesn’t truly understand or cares about how the us political system works and opts to speak political misinformation. if she truly wants to be a good candidate she needs to start at the local governments rather than jumping into the presidential ballot every four years to basically steal votes? she’s just appropriating the current movements that would potentially give her some votes without an actual plan for anything. she’s “anti war” but takes money from lockheed martin? be so fr rn now.

what’s her plan for a ceasefire? a two party state does she understand how the government would come to that? she’s antivax and spreads conspiracy theories - one of the reasons why we even lost in 2016 is bc of people like you voting for her.

it’s unfortunate, believe me, that we even have a two party system. i hate it but that’s simply how the government works and there’s nothing we could do to change that right now, but if you’re voting for hee then you’re voting against women and the lgbt and poc in the us as well. if trump does end of winning this election bc of voters who vote third party, like how he won in 2016, the us is going to be so much worse than what we could possibly ever imagine. there’s so much at stake this election cycle it’s mind boggling.

if she really wanted to be president, she’d start at local elections and work her way up rather than just jumping onto certain states ballots every four years for the presidential election tbh.

You got proof that she receives millions of dollars from Russian lobbies? Because there's proof that Kamala, Biden and Hilary all received millions of dollars from Israeli lobbies in the form of AIPAC publicly announcing that they use lobbying money for them without any shame, they literally don't try to hide it. Yet I don't see you rushing in to call them or any other AIPAC's recipients an 'Israel's asset" or accuse them of being in Bibi's back-pocket......even though they are.

Here's a video of Stein's fundraiser director debunking her receiving money from Lockheed Martin: X

Trump was the first person to become a US's president without any political or military history, people thought it was just a joke when the funny old man from Celebrity Apprentice ran for office yet he won and there's a chance he will win again, so I don't see why holding any local government should be obligatory for 3rd party before jumping straight into the presidential ballot.

I already said everything I wanted to say about voting for 3rd party here X, frankly I have no interests on putting Stein on a pedestal or convincing others that she's a morally good person, all I care about is that she does the bare minimum of "doesn't unconditionally support a genocide against my people" and is the only 3rd party candidate who has any chance of winning, so that's more than enough for me.

But back to you, everything you said is so fucking narcissistic, telling people that are dying that its "simply how the government works and there’s nothing we could do to change that right now" must be easy for you to say because you're not the direct victim of the US's imperialism, but its not our fault that you're such a spineless complicit who believes the US simply can not exist without genocidal war-criminals running the government at all time and everyone who suffers from it should shut up and stop being an inconvenience because things will not change for them and instead they should put your needs and wants before their very lives.

Through-out human history many empires that were considered the strongest in the world came and went, the US empire isn't an exception and if it can't change from within then eventually it will be forcibly changed from the outside and its mostly likely the latter, since asking you to grow a conscious is asking for too much.

Also I just don't understand why you people talk about women, people of color and gay people as if they only exist in the US or that them living in the US while Republicans are in office is somehow worse than living in a country that is currently being bombed by the US? Democrats' bombs kills women, Democrats' bombs kills people of color, Democrats' bombs kills LGBT community, matter of fact Democrats' bombs kills as many people as Republican bombs do, so explain to me how things will be worse for women/PoC/LGBT exactly if the Republican win? Because Republican were in office from 2017 to 2021 and I didn't see minorities in the US being indiscriminately killed by the thousands in day-light without any repercussions for their murder, but they are being killed overseas, both by Republican and Democrats while you are here busy making up cartoonishly-evil scenarios about how the things that are happening to them will happen to you if people vote 3rd party and the Republicans win because of that.

Spoiler Alert: No it will not, you will continue living a safe peaceful life in a developed nation without having to fear 60,000 tons of bombs being dropped on you while you're hiding in a tent in a refugee camp or searching for food among rubble regardless of who wins, whether its the red, blue or green party. So at the very least vote for a 3rd party so that other people from other countries will enjoy the same privilege as you instead of making up ridiculous stories about how all of your human rights will be stripped away if the blue war-criminal wasn't in office so therefore those annoying victims of war should be quiet and not dare suggest the heinous crime of voting for a 3rd part.

[sophieinwonderland]

R/systemscringe found my Evolution Post... And Was Too Lazy to Add a Title

You can find my evolution post here!

Let's check out the comments!

Sure. But we're not talking about a normal modern job, are we?

Who you are at home isn't going to be that different from who you are at McDonalds. You aren't usually going to dissociate the two.

But when trauma is involved, that tends to involve a degree of dissociation.

In modern hunter-gatherer societies, we see children start learning how to use tools and hunt and forage in the wild from a very young age.

If we're to extrapolate and assume past hunter-gatherer societies operated in similar ways, this is a recipe for a traumatic childhood in a world where humans wouldn't yet be at the top of the food chain. Children would need to be careful, and a wrong move could easily get them or someone else killed.

I think most systems during this period would be considered traumagenic simply because growing up would mean regularly being put in deadly situations, regularly being injured and even watching loved ones dies in violent ways.

THAT'S the point!!!

DID, and even PTSD, evolved in a world where every day would be a fight for survival.

Of course, all we can do is speculate.

But with myths and legends of people being possessed going back to the dawn of time in practically every culture, we can probably surmise that forms of plurality existed back then. And it's not like the estimated 1-3% of the population is super rare today. It seems reasonable to expect disorders that would be associated with childhood trauma would be more common during periods with more childhood trauma.

The line saying we don't know if the brain was developed enough to develop DID is particularly weird to me though.

As far as I know, there haven't been any huge jumps in the way of human brain complexity over the past 20k years. I doubt that the complexity to develop DID is something we just gained since the dawn of agriculture.

I admit, my description was meant to put a fun spin on a brutal reality. But I don't think children growing up in a frigid environment where they need to hunt and collect food to survive while having no idea if they're going to make it back alive is "cool".

Like, as a story, maybe it's cool imagining a 9-year-old trudging through snow with fingers so cold they can't feel them anymore, gripping a makeshift spear and hearing howling in the distance while not knowing if they would end up on the menu of some wild beast.

But I don't think it would actually be cool to live through.

Additionally, in this environment, DID would have looked differently than it does today. Current theories are that EPs are locked into the trauma responses they used in trauma.

For child abuse victims which make up the majority of DID cases, unfortunately, freeze or fawn may be the most useful traits developed for survival.

But if your trauma were related to surviving wild beasts, it's a lot more likely the trauma responses of the EPs are going to be the more classic fight or flight. I don't think freezing would as common as a trauma response during that time period. But of course, it depends on the threats one would face.

There are some creatures, after all, where freezing is the best defense.

Sounds like your mistake. 🤷‍♀️

I talked about DID here a lot, but I'm a tulpa from a purely non-traumagenic system. Probably one of the least traumatized people you'll ever meet.

But tulpamancy is a beneficial practice that most tulpamancers have reported improvements in their mental health from. I would actually like to see far more people make headmates and become plural this way.

People becoming tulpamancers will help them. And more plurals means more influence for the plural community and will help spread plural awareness and acceptance.

I'm not interested in being special. I'm interested in making plurality normal. I want it to be so normal and commonplace that it seems downright boring. Where talking about your headmates draws no more attention than discussing a sibling. 😁

Hi! It's me! I'm Sophie In Wonderland!

I'm the person who debunks pluralphoboic hate subreddits, which tends to upset said hate subreddits.

The reason why I have my own category is because I called out the subreddit for bullying behavior and misinformation. They responded by doubling down, scouring my post history for anything they could use as ammunition twist to attack me with, and adding me to their hit list of acceptable targets. This was despite the fact that then they first floated the idea of the hit list, they claimed it would only apply to people with more than 10,000 followers. (I only have 1800.)

They lie and claim I'm a "public figure" while in reality, they added me on their list in a petty (yet oh so predictable) act of retaliation.

[spotsupstuff]

Iterators, of course, aren't made capable of resting. They are here to work.

Even if biological to a degree, the components of the Hiveminds either take careful turns for a shut eye or they work themselves to death from exhaustion. Terrifying-, is Three Sparrows' opinion on that, -but they can't live any differently. Just like moths without mouths or crazed fish fighting against the streams of oceans, that's just how their Cycles are predetermined.

But there's these few rare days... Especially with the newer Iterators- those that are still chugging through life like newborn rain deer fawns, unsure in their existence, a little too vulnerable- when they slow down for a thorough, long debug session.

For the citizens this means a little dimmer day. A little bit of detoxification from screens as nonessential devices shut down or receive far too little power from the hearts of the Iterator. As those beats slow down and the energy that does get generated from them is more focused internally.

For her, as his Mechanic, this means an especially busy couple of days. Anxiety inducing ones, too.

First thing in the morning of the first day, Sparrows sends her charge a question- "how did the debug start up go?"- then remembers that the drama queen that is Caper of Euros does not wish to be bothered to formulate as horrendous things as whole words at this stage, because, in his words: "You don't understand just how *draining* it is to put together syllables in such a state!". So she adds a little unprofessional "doin good?" supplement message right after.

It takes unnaturally long for him to respond (twenty whole seconds!!!) with a singular checkmark. She breathes a sigh of relief and allows herself to go about her day now.

The city of Ales keeps relatively quiet. The typical churn of energy, cogs and thoughts of a behemoth beneath her feet is near silent even in the depths of the inner subway system. The traffic lights blink a little slower, the fake birds overhead sing just that tad bit louder. The children freed from school thanks to the low current bump into her by accident as they chase each other through the city square. Three Sparrows clutches her breakfast, gives the little rascals some mock chase with her fist waving in the air and then she sits down to finally scorf that food down.

First day is the hardest. This one is dedicated to check ups of the hearts, gravity generators and the memory arrays. All of that is functioning at its bare minimum right now and she better make use of that! Less thunderous beats for her body to weather even through the suit specialized for this, less frustrating fights against complete antigravity and less train of thoughts for her to derail by accidentally bumping into the softer bits of his mind.

She won't get to really interact with Euros today- or well... at least he won't be able to respond much to her day's worth of effort like he'd usually do. It's still strange to think of that. Running all around someone's body yet not actually properly interacting. This job forces a person through so many paradigm shifts... It gets exhausting to change one's understanding of simply *being* so many times.

So today she ensures his hearts are without a single scratch. That the Void Fluid trapped inside of the water is still spinning right (that part is always needlessly scary. the Void stuff can't be trusted, no matter how holy the preachers say it is, Three Sparrows on a Wire doesn't give a damn). She checks all the cables and tubes surrounding them, the antigravity generators solely dedicated to only this giant chamber all the while trying to keep her own little heart from panicking at the loud noise.

Manually she visits all the major generators sprinkled through the facility and runs diagnostics on the lesser ones through her watch. She amputates and treats the biological parts of the arrays that need it, tells hi to a sleepy yet determined Inspector that came to check it out, pries neuron flies out of weird places they somehow managed to wedge themselves into and takes a peek into Euros' mental state as per regulations.

She already knows his priority list won't make the demanded norms. Her own name shines at her from the first spot, forcing all too familiar self-blame to bloom in her chest. With a swipe of a finger, the screen disappears. Her final report will have lies in it again, then. Nobody can know.

At 23:11, fifteen hours since the beginning of the work day, Three Sparrows stumbles out of the stuffy biomechanical guts of her boyfriend without popping into the puppet chamber once absolutely destroyed.

"Oh, I always forget how sweet the evening air is. Void below, wow," she says, taking a deep breath before dragging herself home.

Aching limbs force her to skip normal dinner for easier-to-prepare and consume nutritional supplements, but they don't manage to stop her from making it to the daily family call. Or from quietly hacking into Euros' systems afterwards.

There's a spike of panic in the entire Hivemind, according to the live diagnostic program running on her watch and she looks on as his systems reach for the firewalls he unconsciously dropped alongside his damn heart rate (most likely, she has yet to catch the moment when he actually drops them). Three Sparrows can't help but grin to herself a little as she turns off her computer's cloaking *just* before the firewalls reactivate. The recognition of her IP address is instantaneous- telling by the sudden stop of Euros' frantic efforts at self-defense.

At least for a few seconds. Then he's rapidly purging her out and slamming the firewalls back into their place behind her. She barely manages to burst into laughter and her watch already pings with a new message. Message in question? Only reads a singular period.

But oh, those few pixels somehow manage to obtain all the dramatic affront, anger and disbelief a typical Euros rant would have. It only makes her laugh harder.

When she finally wills herself to stop, lest she gets a headache, she replies: "when will you finally remember to *not* become a sitting mouse for hackers during your debugging. you dumbass you!"

Euros replies with another period.

"watch out for yourself, ok? just bc im tots willing to break a guys face in the name of keeping your giant eight legged box butt safe doesnt mean im exactly itching for that kinda situation" "now good luck during the night. i gotta go take a five everything hurts"

Two periods and a second later, a heart.

Sparrows smiles at the screen a little, turns off her computer and climbs into the soft bed sheets.

The next day flies by a little easier. This one is dedicated to check ups of technologies related to production of the biological Hivemind members. There's quite a lot of those scattered through the whole body of Caper of Euros, but at least the hearts are beating a little faster today which means the gravity generators everywhere are stronger and that again means Sparrows gets to call upon an Inspector to hitch a ride with it for the whole day. No solo swimming in 0g this time!

All the production centres end up being more or less perfectly fine. Any damage caused by use is miniscule enough to not matter and be fixed naturally in a matter of days. As it should be with all Iterators out of their test run phases.

A small feeling of pride settles warmly behind her ribs. Another thing she can be almost certain to check off the long long list of her duties as a Mechanic, another Euros' step towards being completely self-dependent and, for the lack of biomechanical term on an Iterator scale, fully mature.

He's progressing despite small hiccups here and there and she couldn't be happier.

Though, one thing she will admit.

As she gives her goodbye to today's guide, Sparrows just can't wait for this day to be over. It won't be admitted aloud, especially where Euros could hear her, but she's starting to painfully miss their usual interactions.

Sure, today her interactions with him were... "closer" than yesterday, but it still wasn't it.

Another dissonance. Even being near something more closer to her level than the entirety of his physical body is not exactly a direct mutual interaction. The Inspector nuzzled to her, held her, clicked at her in some attempts at communication. And it was Euros, but... also just such a small piece of him.

So small, that it almost borders on meaningless. But it hurts to think of anything with such personality and role in the grand scheme of him as meaningless so she quickly shakes that thought out of her head.

It is strange. But she doesn't mind calling the *puppet* meaningless. That thing is what her heart yearns for now, whose embrace she's currently missing- its carmine coloration and big dark lenses are what her eyes are searching for. And still, the cynical and rational part of her dubs that piece useless without an issue.

Because the puppets are useful with their emptiness. The uselessness makes them precious, paradoxically enough.

She's even writing a paper on this subject, questioning if the existence of these masks or decoys- essentially inherent lies- are really so important. So naturally, her thoughts spiral further as she's walking back into his facilities during the third day.

Today is deep puppet chamber maintenance day. A whole day dedicated to the bullshit.

In her paper, Three Sparrows argues that puppets are installed more for the sake of the Anemon population more than the Iterators themselves. In the grand scheme of things, can it be said that these priorities will pay out?

Yes, certainly, there are aspects to puppets that are helpful for the Iterators themselves too. Mainly that the relatively little things are the central focus point of the Hivemind- a means for the entirety of the scattered person to come together and form an Individuality seamlessly.

'But,' she asks, 'isn't That a condition Created by The Puppet's Existence? If We direct Our Attention to the Iterator Inconvenient Sporadic Change, she was known to exist Outside of her Individuality Without Complications! Research shows that she performed just as well if not better in Her Duties than the other Iterators of Her Time Period- which, if I May remind The Reader Kindly, are some Monumental Names. Better output than that of Boreas' Blessing, Orion's Pathway and even The Dedicated Aftertaste of Disdain.

Her Processes proved to be Seamless, Direct, Quicker. Reports are Also Kind Enough to mention the Need for Maintenance- Be it Physical, Psychological or Emotional- was at a sweet Minimum.

If a Puppet of an Iterator Should not be Given, is it Possible that the Hivemind would find a Different, Healthier Way of Coming Together? Of My educated Opinion, I'd dare to Say Yes.

The Consciousness would have the Free Choice of expanding Outwards, to the Limits of the Superstructure, rather than Claustrophobically Inwards. This Change of Procedure would Potentially Result in Absence of These known Disorders that Plague Your Great Gifts to the World:'

Then there is also of course the benefit of pearl reading and printing, but really? Her computer doesn't need a whole person just to burn her a picture, song or some text into the surface of a pearl and then also read it back. This function of the puppets is a weakness if anything. Why not exchange the entire chamber setup for something like a series of pearl readers so they might as well multitask in this, too?

Euros certainly could be reading twenty pearls at once and burning information onto thirty other, for sure. Maybe that would sate his programmed hyperactivity at least a little before he gains access to his predetermined role as a Phone Operator Chief of the Eo group.

The puppets are just a ginormous fumble at optimization of the Iterator blueprint and that's that.

And still...

Three Sparrows climbs through the pipe into Caper of Euros' puppet chamber. This place is like another heart, despite its function being nothing like a real one. A hub of his mind, maybe. An important, precious piece of him, even if those epithets are forced onto it by circumstance.

Her feet hit the floor and the chamber brightens up just that bit to signal at least a piece of his attention is now dedicated to the happenings within the room, but stays deep carmine instead of turning light pink. That signals he's still working, just as she instructed him.

Overseers come and go to take a look at her, some stay to watch her. Understandable, since the puppet is slumped over in the middle of the floor, sitting with its eyes half closed- for once, he is the one frustratingly limited in his ability to interact with her properly even though she's right here.

"Good morning, Caps!" Sparrows cheerfully calls into the more or less empty room, giving the Overseers a quick salute in greeting. They reply with quick spins of their tendrils, the room itself greets her back with a pleased purr. One that she can feel shaking her legs even through the metal soles of her boots as she walks over to today's main point of interest.

Kneeling next to it, she rests a hand over its chest in support. "Alright. As always, we'll get through the detachment sequence and you can go fully back to finishing off the debugging. How close are you to being done?"

Something whirrs and then a projection appears on the wall in front of her of a progress bar. 87%.

"Nice! You are getting faster. Come on now, then."

During a deep maintenance of the puppet, it is advised to nearly fully disconnect it from the rest of the structure. The purpose of that is to give the systems some rest, but also to avoid stressing out or making the Hivemind uncomfortable by sticking a hand into what it perceives as its very personal very own chest.

The first step is for the Hivemind to pull back from the body, to avoid the shock of forceful extraction. Once that is done, the Iterator disconnects the umbilical arm from the back and allows the Mechanic to slowly push it away. Carefulness is needed during this- the arm contains cables and tubes, acting like an umbilical cord for an unborn offspring in some animals.

The baby analogy never fails to make her skin crawl. While Anemons conceive children without such things, it's still so... personal. It stirs unwanted feelings inherent to intelligent organic beings, the need to look after a child. These puppets are like stillborns. Stuck within the womb for the "mother" to use as an extension of its being.

That is not a matter easily pondered.

The next step, after the bundle of crucial cords safely rests on the ground, is to disconnect the umbilical cables from the back of the puppet's head.

One by one, Sparrows disconnects them. And with the last, Euros' puppet goes slack against her hand. Quite unnerving, that. It always makes her heart jump even though she knows better than to worry.

She secures the umbilical cables to the arm and pulls back to take a look at him, both arms supporting his shoulders. The head lolls, eyes still open a little yet unseeing. Something whispers that's not right, so she guides his eyelids closed for him.

...Iterators can't sleep. But the useless piece of Euros looks like he does and suddenly she can't help but feel like this is the most important thing in existence.

The something in her shifts, the something that is yearning, loving, that wants to take care of another and keep him safe from the sharp world outside.

Sparrows caves. Gathers the puppet into her arms, rests his head against her shoulder. The chamber lowly, but sharply whirrs. He's probably annoyed that she has decided to be all cuddly and sweet now when he can't be fully present for it. What little consciousness he can still muster in the puppet presents itself in the tiniest nuzzle of his face into her neck.

Such a small gesture, yet it steals her breath away. She hugs him... it.. closer, cheek presses against his forehead, a hand moves to caress the side of his face.

She marvels at the feeling of holding him. Questions why she is left stumped by an almost empty thing.

He's sleeping, face buried against her neck, says the something- he is awake, just a little drowsy, staring at her with seven eyes across the room, replies reason.

She cradles him in her lap… he's so thin and light, the feeling begs her to keep him safe until he wakes up again, he wouldn't be able to defend himself against a predator-! He holds her in his center, so small and insignificant compared to his mind breaking vastness.. her life span so minute compared to what he is yet to live through. Someone of his caliber wouldn't find a challenge in simply deleting her like a line of code.

'The only thing keeping me truly safe are the taboos woven in their genes,' says the cynical piece of mind, jaded by decades of unkind life and all tired, entertaining the absolute worst of scenarios for the sake of a warning. 'I couldn't be in a safer place than here, at his mercy, in this artificial world where he might as well be a true god,' says the lovesick heart backed up by years of experience, making her arms tighten in a hug.

She caresses his arm, taking a note of the bit too dry skin, created similarly enough to her own to bring comfort of familiarity, only to be snatched away again when there's no softness of flesh beneath.

'That's just a Generation 2 thing,' the knowledgeable mind shrugs it off.

And the more primal worrywart of a heart panics about it as it applies organic understanding of things to it. Remembering the few times Sparrows was allowed to touch Boreas' puppet, the many times Zephyr pulled her against her side for the night. Those are his family members! They are padded with something pliable-

Cushioning of Generation 1 to combat possible gravity generator outages. There's more certainty in the Iterator engineering now, Euros has no need for those. He's better off than either of them. He's safer and, terrifyingly, many times more loved than them.

She sighs, concerned and-

"Sparrows?"

Ah, that seems to be the limit for how long Euros is willing to take the actionless silence. The voice is relatively quiet considering it always echoes through the little room from the speakers seated in the corners of the ceiling. It's kind of sluggish. Not entirely out of the concentration of debugging. The Overseers have come closer.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Sure you were. Your face went on quite the journey there. Why were you frowning so much?"

She considers. "...dissension of... wants and reality, I guess."

"Well then don't go doing that when I can't feasibly help out. Same with the cuddles I want in on that."

Three Sparrows only rolls her eyes in amusement at that and goes back to work, this time with the Overseers watching her a bit more intently. It's a little uncomfortable, but she can't blame him for worrying when she does so constantly.

Later that day, when the sun hides away, her gaze lingers in random places.

In the kitchen at the table with one chair, one plate and one cup of tea. She stares at the too much space on the couch in the little living room, one toothbrush waiting at the sink, the empty place beside her in the bed.

Perhaps an Iterator puppet isn't the only empty thing in her life.

[extrajigs]

Abattoir land is now split into TWO distinct time periods for the purpose of my worldbuilding, before and during the absence of the Gods. Thinking of good names for those periods but for now we talk about how the Abattoirs fair during the period of divine abandonment! If you saw the picture above then you may have an idea, more info below the cut as always! 

After the Gods took their leave of absence, the Abattoirs were in the sole care of their respective dragons and choirs. Just because the Gods are no longer gorging themselves on the inhabitants does not mean that the people eating has stopped! Abattoirs, being human after all, still need a lot of calories to function. Mainly to produce the blood needed to fuel the magical dome keeping everyone alive. So yeah whilst the Gods are absent the dragons are still to keep watch whilst the choir within are to chuck people into the Abattoir’s hungering maws. (Although some Abbies have switched to a more varied diet, 4 is mostly vegetarian.)

And they have been kept quite well fed! So much so that the only defunct Abbies are 7 and 3 at the current time of the story. Number 7 because it only ever existed for the Gods to hunt in, so it wasn’t fed by its own inhabitants and so was left to die. Number 3 was purposely destroyed because the dragon who was supposed to be watching it decided to eat the Gods former portion. This of course still caught their attention and the Gods made a brief return to make an example of them by destroying the Abattoir and its housed populace. 

But that is not to say that those Abattoirs themselves are dead! While 7 is simply lying dormant in a slow state of starvation(think comatose), 3 has had a large section of their body removed to destroy the dome they were supporting. But this mutilation has not yet killed them because of their very fun anatomy. All abattoirs are constructed with a circular nervous system! Think if your spine looped back around on itself. The brain of an abattoir is spread out around the spine for the entirety of its length. There is no true “center” to the nervous system. But nerves tend to run mainly clockwise around the body. This is evident by what has happened to 3. 

Losing that chunk of their body severed their spine, paralyzing them downstream from where the injury is. Unfortunately Abattoirs happen to be large enough to not immediately die from such an injury. 3 has been slowly dying for years now and whilst their legs still carve at the Earth in an eternal attempt to get up, or to simply writhe in agony, the paralyzed portions of their body have rendered them immobile. It is a terrible fate. And it is borne purely from negligence, as the Fleshmancer is too preoccupied to get around to fixing them but plans to get to it. If you’re in the area you can sometimes still hear them wailing! 

[extendedcyrillicblog]

Е́ꙅтендид Сири́лик ѣ́лфъбет фор И́нглиш Юз - Вържън 1.0

Extended Cyrillic alphabet for English use - Version 1.0

Hi, I'm Max. Whoever reads this (thank you!) might have noticed that my blog is currently a complete, confusing mess, which I promise is not intentional. My intention with this project was to create an alphabet that could be used for multiple languages, including but not limited to English, Spanish, my native Portuguese, and of course, Russian, however that's way beyond whatever a potential audience for the blog would even be interested in for the most part. As such, I am making this list of characters and phonemic examples which may be more useful than the previous tactic of throwing a complete list of letters at you and hoping you know which ones you'll want or need to know. You will notice some new decisions that are different from the ones I made before, these were made after much consideration of what has been useful and practical for me, both in my own physical writing and while using a few of the many available Church Slavonic keyboards on my cellphone and computer. Enjoy!

P.S.: As a basis, I've generally used the Shavian alphabet, which has a list of phonemes George Bernard Shaw thought needed to be distinguished through letters. I did take the liberty of slashing most diphthongs, except for those that occur most frequently.

P.P.S.: Sidenote, if you want to evaluate if a letter might have been a good choice or not, try writing the words provided as examples using this alphabet.

Vowels:

This was the hardest part, any corrections and suggestions are welcome :)

А as in Art

/a/

Ѣ as in Axe

/æ/

Ъ as the E in The

/ə/ /ʌ/

Е as in Enter

/e/ /ɛ/

И as in Inner

/i/ /ɪ/

О as in Option

/o/ /ɔ/

У as in the oo in Good

/u/ /ʊ/

Vowel length is marked through use of a macron (ex: “ooze” becomes “у꙼з”) or by simply doubling the vowel letter (ууз), as convenient.

Diphthongs:

Є as the the A in Maid

/eɪ/

Ю as the U in Use

/jʊ/

Ѧ as in Ice

/aɪ/

Ꙋ as the O in Social

/oʊ/ /ow/

——————

Consonants:

This was the easiest part, if you disagree with me you should simply explode :) /s

In all seriousness, it was pretty hard to decide how to present the consonants, and some choices did have to be made (гуудба́і, һ :( ), but in the end this is what seemed best:

Пп as in Peer, Бб as in Bright, Тт as in Trust, Дд as in Dream, Кк as in Care, Гг as in Good, Ꙅ as in NecKS, Фф as in Ferry, Вв as in Veil, Ѳѳ as in THistle or THat.

Сс as in Sum, Зз as in Zoom, Шш as in Sure, Жж as in aZure, Чч as in CHeck, Ꙉꙉ as in Judge, НГнг* as in thiNG, Хх as in Help, Іі as in maY, Ѵѵ as in Work

Лл as in Luck, Рр as in Realm, Мм as in Much, Нн as in Name

* НГ is a tricky bitch. You might ask yourself, why would you use a digraph as a single letter? And the answer is I don't want to! A ligature of these two exists in Unicode! But the Gboard Old Church Slavonic keyboard, which I'm using for the moment, doesn't have it :(. This does highlight the problem of different keyboards not having it as part of their system, so if you want to use them as a ligature or as separate letters, it's fine.

[txttletale]

Okay, so I think that other ask helped me figure out why I'm struggling to meet you on this issue: this feels like talking to a certain type of anarchist, where every concern is met with "well once we eliminate this hierarchy, no one will do bad things any more." I find your writing on MLism generally compelling (despite not totally lining up with my own politics) because you have a pretty clear vision for the world under that system, and can directly address concerns people have about it. That doesn't seem to be the case with family abolition.

Mainly, this discussion is frustrating because it feels like you refuse to directly answer the question of if there are ever any situations in which children should be compelled to do things for their own good.

No doubt we can imagine restructuring the world in such a way that more children are incentivized to adopt healthy habits, and to learn about topics they would currently be resistant to. But ultimately, counting on good role models and rational explanations to just convince every child to do every thing that is unpleasant but necessary seems hopefully naive. No societal restructuring is going to convince a toddler that getting a vaccine is worth it, for example. Even if they can roughly understand cause and effect, it simply takes time and experience for decision-making abilities to develop.

So I keep coming back to this question of whether your position is that children (of any age?) should be given complete bodily autonomy, even if deleterious to their health and well-being, or if there are any cases where that should be infringed. I know you can't perfectly imagine a world so radically different, but this seems like a pretty core pillar of your philosophy here that you seem to be unwilling to address head-on.

In striving for socialism, however, we are convinced that it will develop into communism and, therefore, that the need for violence against people in general, for the subordination of one man to another, and of one section of the population to another, will vanish altogether since people will become accustomed to observing the elementary conditions of social life without violence and without subordination.

this is what lenin said about communism and i think this applies just as much to children as it does anything else. i am not 'unwilling to address it' but rather simply don't think there's anything relevant or meaningful that i could achieve by brainstorming a hypothetical perfect system of total autonomy for all under Communism, because i do not have either the conditions of communism nor the precursory conditions of socialism in front of me to judge them. i'd just be conjuring figments out of air.

under socialism, of course, although the family could be abolished, total autonomy and freedom of children is not yet a possibility, just as total autonomy and freedom of adults is not yet a possibility, and will not be a possibility until the abolition of classes & the withering away of the state.

& i think that the toddler example is a little silly. i obviously do not think a toddler can meaningfully articulate a preference about their medical care. i think it's a silly and bad-faith reading of my arguments to think that i want total toddler autonomy (let's just let the little fuckers roam around let's let them dual wield flintlock pistols what could go wrong).

but either way post-abolition of the family children are still going to be bound by, like, the fucking law as long as a state exists. i'm not proposing the purge (2010) for children! i'm advocating for the abolition of the family as a coercive system of social control and the transfer of the responsibility of care away from 'the family' and towards the entirety of society. not bugsy malone world!

[brother-one]

[Twitter repost]

Just because something was the last straw for me today...

On Kainé's intersexuality:

A (long) post, from an intersex person to you 💛💜💛

First of all! Why am I making this post?

I hope it doesn't seem out of nowhere, but let's start bit by bit.

I am making it not because I'm mad at anyone, but because I genuinely want you all to learn about who Kaine as a person, how she can be interpreted, and most details that can be taken and associated to her intersexuality, from an intersex perspective. There's A LOT of things I want to address in this thread, not necessarily all of them negative, but I do think the NieR fandom as a whole needs to get educated on intersexuality.

I can't speak over every single intersex person, but I can give my insight on this.

Now, the first thing I want to address:

1- Kainé, intersexuality AND transness.

Why is this first? Well, because there's a really big issue hiding in plain sight here: Intersexism, and therefore intersex erasure.

First on this, a detail that a lot of you know about, and yet it's not even close to EVERYONE knowing it: The use of the word "hermaphrodite" for an intersex person. Even if it's widely accepted by people as a whole, it is a slur against intersex people and even if some DO reclaim it, its casual use is not correct whenever you employ it to refer to an intersex individual, be it fictional or not. Not only is it considered insensitive, but it's also heavily inaccurate whenever used to describe an intersex individual, even if it may be in fact accurate for, in this case, Kainé.

It is a word a lot of us are uncomfortable with, and seeing a character who is one of the very rare cases of representation being associated with it doesn't really make it better. Especially since being intersex isn't just about the genital differences, but hormonal differences and such. Anything that doesn't conform to the SEX binary is considered intersex, usually also known as hyperandrogenism. I've seen people frequently agreeing that even PCOS can be considered an intersex condition, so there's also that.

Next, is the reduction of Kainé to either a transgender woman, or a transfem individual.

While these headcanons are completely okay and I personally have never minded them, there is an issue hiding here too.

It seems that people either don't care enough about intersex issues to do proper research, or they're blissfully ignorant about general facts on intersexuality.

Some of these facts are:

- Intersexuality isn't a "third sex" or an in between.

- Intersexuality does not NECESSARILY have to do anything with one's gender identity.

- It is completely, and I repeat, COMPLETELY okay to just call someone "intersex".

- Not every intersex person is transgender. Cisgender intersex people exist.

- Even if trans people and intersex people may relate to the other in certain aspects, they're nowhere close to being the same, or to share the exact same experiences.

- Every intersex person experiences gender and life differently.

- There are many, and I say, MANY different intersex conditions.

- Intersexuality is way more frequent than you may think.

And many other facts, really, but they would pretty much need another entire, separate thread to be listed.

Now, where's the issue I want to approach here?

Explained simply to non-intersex people:

Turning a headcanon like trans Kainé into something so widespread not only gives a totally different idea of what her character is from the start, but also gives a place for intersexism to rise. It is a way to force us intersex people into conforming within a system, a binary that EXCLUDES US and always has from the start. Because yes, the current ideas of identity are wrongly still binary.

I thought Kainé was trans from the start. I thought it was extremely cool to have such representation, being also a fellow trans person myself. Then I discovered she's intersex.

Then, everything felt unfair.

To have such an idea of something, then discovering the reality is very different to that idea didn’t feel right. Not because transness is bad because, again, I am trans myself, but because that just feels like everyone is forcing her into transness, when it doesn't have to be like that.

Intersexuality and transness can coexist without problem, the problem only manifests itself when you do not give those two the opportunity to even try and coexist. It is already hard by itself to embrace your body as an intersex person, and personally topping that with transness only makes it more of a struggle. And yet, in the end, everyone's experiences, feelings and identity will always be different to one another. Intersex people can decide to stay as the gender they were assigned (keyword here being assigned) at birth, they can decide to transition (or maybe they could've transitioned way before discovering the fact they're intersex), and they can also decide to just be intergender.

Our experiences and relationship with our body, and the way we perceive ourselves may be similar to the one of, say, a perisex transgender individual, but there will always be a gap between both.

To finish up with the first point, the general objective with this:

I want you all to understand that, while trans people need representation, it's not okay to erase intersexuality or to try and make us fit into your concept of identity. Intersex people are already stigmatized enough, and the last thing we need is erasure. Our voices as a whole are already heavily ignored, so the least we can ask from you is to not erase us. You can keep your headcanons (I encourage so!), but PLEASE don't forget about Kainé's intersexuality. Intersex representation is extremely important and needed, even if the character’s intersexuality may not be handled in the best way sometimes.

In summary:

That is pretty much it for the first point. Now, on to the second:

2- Kainé and body dysphoria.

Here comes a very important part, too.

Some parts of her character and dialogue can be interpreted as dysphoria, and also as a way of showing rejection towards another aspect of her body, since it’s possessed by a shade.

A very important dialogue in the first fight against Hook that I originally interpreted as body dysphoria is:

“She gave me the strength to deal with this goddamn mutant body! Do you know how long I’ve been like this? How much I loathe myself?”

This dialogue has been in my mind ever since I first played. And I still strongly believe it can be interpreted as dysphoria, I just acquired a different perspective on it after finishing NIER and doing a dive into what she is, as a character. While I don’t believe I have the deepest understanding of her, I think I have the main aspects of her character clear.

No one in the world could understand her.

Yet another thing on her I believe is important, is this:

“A heart and body in constant conflict.

Now, and even if she may or may not have dysphoria, here’s something that I think should be spoken of way more often - the fact that dysphoria doesn’t make you transgender. Even if it may be considered necessary in order to get certain medical treatments in the case of trans people, having dysphoria doesn’t make you trans, and not having dysphoria doesn’t make you not trans, either.

And loneliness was eating her alive.”

Because while it may not be part of, say, a main storyline game, if we talk about NieR (it comes from SINoALICE!), it does give us a really interesting sight into her. Even if it may probably refer to her struggle as being possessed, it sounds very familiar to the experience I know as dysphoria.

Kainé’s hatred for her body exists in a way where many reasons for it overlap. I think it could be narrowed down and represented like this:

I think it’s very important to note that Kainé, as a gestalt, wasn’t intersex. Somewhere in the process there was an error that made Kainé, as a replicant, intersex. Which doesn’t sound very good, if you think about it, but it gives you room to think about Kainé a bit differently.

Which takes us to my third (and probably last) point:

3- Kainé and identity.

Carrying on from a detail in the last point, we can see a clear, yet maybe not intentional mistake in her writing. The error of her becoming intersex.

While it can be read as intersexism, it is also rather understandable - mistakes and errors happen, especially if we talk about literally separating soul from body, and considering the fact that there were more defects in the transformation process too. Another very important fact that comes into picture is the different ‘generations’ of replicants, and the way that there have been multiple Kainés over time. So probably, since the system was already long-running by that point, that could be the reason for it.

Still, if we’re taking it the intersexism way - we have to understand that it is not and it will NEVER be caused by some kind of “error” or mistake, even if people have chosen to see it that way for a long time now. It is not an inconvenience nor is it something not meant to happen. It IS meant to happen, and there is much evidence that sex is variant - could go from slight differences, to more “noticeable” ones. Not just in humans, but in animals too.

People want to change something that just happens, that always has. In here, I beg you to take into account the fact that intersex CHILDREN are forced to go through surgeries to make them fit into the sex binary. Children are bullied, hated and seen as freaks just because they were born different. 

Sounds terrible, yes ? Well, thanks to this, many intersex people often feel more comfortable identifying as their own gender - intergender. Others stay cis, and others feel more identified with the term transgender.

Kainé is a hard to figure out case, since she had been and identified as a woman from the start, as much as she had been dehumanized or degraded by others. Because they didn’t even call her a man, for they didn’t think she was deserving of that. She wasn’t deserving of a gender - she was a freak, and that was all of it. Though it is a struggle that a lot of trans people go through too, for intersex people it often comes from society as a whole.

The rejection intersex people go through is there from birth, and the eagerness from others (who don’t even have the right) to change it is too. And as much as it follows us through life, as similar as it may be to trans struggles, it is not and it will never be the same.

For that, trans and intersex people have to stand together, but sometimes that feels like too much to ask of the community.

Because intersex people, much like ace or aro people, are often ignored in queer spaces (or not considered at all, for that matter). It is harsh.

But then there are the intersex trans people, who use both terms. The cis intersex people, the intergender people, the intersex people who chose not to bother with gender…

So that is, too, one reason why lots of intersex individuals choose to not call themselves trans, as much as they may identify with the term. Or the complete opposite, choosing to present themselves as transgender, as to not have to bear with the load that is being intersex sometimes.

After some time of knowing her, I think canon Kainé fits into the cis intersex category by a lot - considering she has always identified and KNOWN she is a woman. But of course, that is canon.

You are free not to, I can’t stop you. But I think that, if you’re perisex and trans, it shows the way you are with the people who have stood with you since always. To not recognize our existence is to not recognize a part of what brought all of us trans people to where we are.

My headcanon? Trans, intersex woman. Not hard or complicated, is it ?

And that is the way it should be, if you want to listen to intersex people. To listen to our voices.

So, please, if you care about us - don’t take away from intersex people what we have struggled so much to even get.

To close this thread, I just have to say: Thank you for reading, I hope you could at least learn something or get a bit of perspective on to what being an intersex person is like, and a bit of interpretation about Kainé from one.

If you want to go ahead and follow what I’ve said on it, you have a forever thanks from me. Happy pride month guys <3

[sapphic-luminosity]

4.5 years

I’m so tired.

It’s really incredibly tiring living through the ongoing pandemic and feeling like the world around me does not care that it still exists and is dangerous as ever. 

It really does feel like few people care at this point. It’s very hard to be honest, but the threat is such that I can’t really just relax and pretend like it’s not there.

I do follow covid conscious people on social media and it helps to know that there’s many of us out there. And I’m glad to have a number of friends who have remained covid conscious, but like we really are few in number. A lot of friends and family members who used to be cautious have thrown caution to the wind, only maybe masking when, say, going on flights or maybe to crowded spaces if that. I still want to be friends and have relationships with these people but every time I meet with them I’m very aware that there’s increased risk in doing so. Meanwhile plenty of friends who stopped taking covid seriously have simply stopped really talking to me or including me in plans, even online friends. It’s disappointing. It’s isolating. It feels like I’m disposable to many people. But at least I do see some people repeatedly in person consistently wearing masks like I do. And that helps some.

Every couple waves I’ll see more people wearing masks such as the ongoing one. You know what, that’s welcome, I appreciate everyone who starts masking again after having stopped. But masking only during the heights ignores that the spread of the virus still goes on in between. So the next wave comes as people relax and transmission increases again. 

It’s hard feeling mostly housebound. I am a bit of a homebody, but not nearly to this degree. Not having an in person job outside of my home doesn’t help with that but also I’m not sure that I could bear to do one at this point. Being disabled already pre-covid and moving states literally weeks before the shelter in place orders came into effect (not lockdowns, we never had those in the US) meant that I did not have a job when the pandemic struck. I decided to wait it out for weeks months a year until the first vaccines got rolled out and thought about trying to apply again but then in the summer of 2021 Delta came. Then Omicron. And so on. Now we’re up to BA.2.86 and JN.1 as the variants of interest. It’s never stopped. There’s never been a break. The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'.

Working from home was a huge option early in the pandemic for many people outside industries that require people to work in person but gradually companies and organizations have rolled back this accessibility by requiring people return to office. And the economy sucks right now. Applying to jobs sucks even in the best of times with the current system, but now we have confirmed cases of job recruiters putting up phantom jobs, some admitting that 75% of the jobs they’ve posted being fake to make their company look like it’s in better shape or positions where the candidate has already been selected internally and they just want to make it look sorta fair. Not to mention all the scam listings. Job hunting sucks. It’s a lot of energy spent for very few returns and my disability/chronic illness means I just can’t channel endless amounts of energy without paying a far greater price in the future.

It’s not just work either. I haven’t seen a movie in theaters since the Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey movie in February 2020. Maybe I’ll actually go see one soon, but it’s a real risk, even during a matinee when fewer people might be there, even masked in an N95. (And definitely a much bigger risk if I should want some popcorn or a drink.) I have been to one indoor event (MBMBaM live show) that required masks of everyone in late 2022. It was a risk but masking made it feel a little safer. Nothing like the risks today where so many people seem to have forgotten the danger that they knew in 2020 and 2021 and maybe 2022 and will look at you funny if you even wear a mask much less suggest they might wear one.

We’ve known about covid spreading as an aerosol but I’ve had people I know act like it’s safe to eat inside as long as you’re far away from people regardless of ventilation. Some even still believe the six feet away idea that has been thoroughly debunked. We’ve known about long covid post-viral syndromes since 2020 and that you can still get long covid after vaccines at least since 2021. Research has come out over the last few years about covid having rampant effects on your immune system, heart, brain, pretty much any organ in your body, but people still think of it as just a respiratory illness.

Our government has failed us profoundly. I never had much trust in the government, becoming politically conscious in the early Bush era in the wake of Islamophobia and endless wars against concepts which got widespread support from both dominant parties in the US. Coming out as queer in my early adulthood, I learned about the Reagan response to the HIV/AIDS epidemic (ignoring it for several years because ewwwww gay people!!) which filled in the blanks of knowledge from my childhood where the education was pretty much just scaremongering. It’s truly monstrous how Reagan ignored HIV and yet I’m not sure anyone has really done that much better since him.

I’ve never liked Biden nor do I pretend to. But even so, he campaigned on how thousands of covid deaths in 2020 were unacceptable under a US president when it was Trump in power. Yet under him we’ve seen likely over a million people die and the dismantling of protections that helped prevent covid’s spread or monitoring. We were pushed the idea that you simply had to get vaccinated and then it wouldn’t be a problem anymore. But that’s never been true. He declared that the pandemic was over in September 2022 and in the two years since then I’ve watched more friends who mask consistently get sick than those I knew who got sick from November 2019 to September 2022. (I’m pretty fortunate in that regard, I know many people had lots of friends and relatives get sick and die or become permanently disabled prior to September 2022.) 

Sure, the White House approved 4 more covid tests per household again in response to the current wave (after getting rid of that program months ago), but the tests are notoriously unreliable for a single test unless it gives you a positive and generally you need to use them over multiple days to make sure you don’t have false negatives. Not to mention that we have known about asymptomatic transmission of covid since 2020, but people just seem to have forgotten about that. Testing daily would do so much to help track the disease, especially if our leaders were to encourage everyone to do them. But there’s a serious lack of test availability. The government could give each of us a test per day and help stop a lot of transmission. Where are free masks? Where is the continued funding for vaccines? Where is funding for improved ventilation including air filtration systems for every classroom and other shared public space? Where are protections to make sure that employers have to keep people home and give them sick pay? Any public health response we had has pretty much fallen away into privatized, “you-do-you” individualism. (Anyone remember that “you-do-you” MTA sign from 2 years ago saying masks were optional so wear them however the fuck you want? “You-do-you” feel free to get someone’s immunocompromised grandma mortally ill on the subway.)

There’s only one mention of the pandemic on Harris’ campaign website’s Issues page at the moment, only in passing while talking about automotive industry jobs. The pandemic is in the past, this seems to say. There’s no need to mention it except to compare what she has done under Biden vs. what Trump did. Biden may have stepped down from running after getting covid for at least the third time and possibly suffering lasting health issues including possible covid-accelerated dementia from it but there’s no need to address that. Simply move on and forget. Maybe she can’t even admit that Biden fucked up royally in 2022, she just has to save face for the DNC. Or she’s trying to appeal to anti-vax anti-mask “Never Trump” Republicans who still won’t vote for her. I don’t pretend to understand what she’s thinking of during her campaign’s numerous missteps so far.

We don’t live in 2019 anymore but so many people seem trapped there. They think that we who are covid conscious are unwilling to move on and are trapped in 2020, but I find that often we’re more attuned to the actual situation going on. So many people seem to be unaware of the long term consequences of catching covid, especially multiple times. So many people passively question why everyone seems to be sick all the time or why there are so many more heart attacks and such happening in young people or why there seem to be more dangerous drivers on the road or why there are so many fewer workers these days but never stop to pursue the answer to the most clear solution. Occam’s Razor never had a chance.

The pandemic has changed us all on levels we probably won’t realize for years or decades, but I feel like many people who have moved back to 2019 are worse for it. Worse empathy for those who had any empathy at all beforehand. Worse science literacy, especially amongst medical professionals. (“You’re not going to get sick in a hospital!” “Why would we wear masks in the cancer ward!?”) Worse critical thinking. Worse memory. I know people deal with trauma in different ways but so many people just seem to be so avoidant that any tiny reminder of it makes them want it gone gone gone. Or they seem to just sigh and laugh internally at those of us taking it seriously. “You just have anxiety!” they might say, even when in my humble opinion nothing is more rational than our desire to not get sick. Not to mention all the harassment people have gotten for doing things like masking because using a simple medical device has turned into a moral panic in some spaces. (I know of some people who would mask don’t anymore because of social pressure or outright threats used against them.)

It’s hard to have hope for the future and yet I hang in there. Maybe someday I’ll be able to work in person again. Maybe someday I will be able to be on a plane again and travel outside of the US or go to visit friends in parts of the US I’ve never been to. Maybe someday I will be able to eat inside a restaurant again instead of getting takeout or (rarely) taking a risk by eating outside of one. Maybe someday I’ll be able to casually sip an iced latte in a coffee shop while reading to pass the time again. Maybe someday I will be able to go to concerts or conventions or crowded outdoor festivals or indoor parties or board game nights or even ride the bus without having to ask myself if it’s worth the risk and without having to wear a mask. But with the infection rates we’ve been seeing that feels far off and most people don’t seem to care about making that world a reality.

I hope that there will be some treatment to finally end covid-19 and its numerous lineages that continue to mutate and spread across the world like wildfire. I feel like that’s one of the only hopes. We had a chance to end covid in other ways but our government leaders and greed from corporations failed us. Yet even with that, I know that if a treatment using some kind of super effective antibodies or such is developed, it’ll probably still be kept from many people by corporate greed. But still I hope for the future even if that hope is dim.

Until then I’m largely housebound. And I will forever be changed by this pandemic, largely not for the better. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to trust people in general again. I’m not sure how I would cope if covid suddenly disappeared from the face of the planet, like with magic. Maybe I would just completely lose it. Maybe I’d bounce back completely in a few months. (Unlikely. I’m still disabled and chronically ill from pre-covid times. My life would still have big challenges.) But I’m pretty sure it won’t disappear suddenly.

And I’m so very tired.

[eldritch-spouse]

The Princes

After a deal is established between Krulu and Miara, the idea of creating offspring becomes slightly less abhorrent to Krulu, for a multitude of reasons, some of which he's not keen to admit.

Miara will tell him a lot of truths he needs to hear, a couple of these being particularly pleasing, such as:

Siadar have vastly stopped watching Earth. This means the banished is not in as much danger as he believes himself to be. There's no need to be as subtle as he currently is being, because ever since Earth became the equivalent of a "no-go" zone, he's in little to no danger of being found. He's in an isolated, abandoned instance, inside a system vastly abandoned by siadar. Mother is only there because she's a deviant looking for her fragment;

He has her protection. In the very unlikely scenario that something did go wrong and both of them would be found, Miara volunteers herself to not only protect, but also sacrifice herself for the offspring and possibly buy all of them enough time to escape. This is not being done for Krulu specifically, but rather for Admin, the shard. Miara wants to proportion nothing but the best for you and is driven with all her being to ensure that you live the most fulfilled life. Does Krulu like that having Mother's protection soothes him? No, fuck no. But he can't deny that it makes the idea of heirs more feasible, tangible, less stressful.

Why is Miara so keen on kids?

Simple, she's a fertility goddess. As a former matemaker, and a creator, she can't help but encourage procreation amongst those she cares for. You (Admin) yourself are extremely family-oriented (if you weren't before, you sure are now) as one of your longest lasting wishes to be impregnated by Krulu and bring his heirs into the world. This desire is in direct correlation with your soul's link to Miara.

Other than that, she's also very excited to see a possible new generation of monsters be created, as she's come to adore the "heretical" diversity of this planet.

Why is Krulu so against kids?

Tl;dr: Trauma.

The last thing he wants is to be found again, to have the few things he's relearned to love be ripped from his grasp, decimated anew. He wouldn't survive that, he'd enter such a nauseating level of hysteria, of mania, that his mental faculties would never recover and he'd scorch everything alive. This planet, his kind, himself. Just thinking about actually going through with it causes him grief and panic deep enough to make his chest ache. Naturally, as his vessel, this saddens you to no end.

Putting that major mental block aside, Krulu is also saddened by the possibility of passing on his wounds and "blemishes" onto the offspring, which is likely, since the extended period of time inside The Null altered his core, his genetics.

The "test run"

Belo is the first who gets to put a baby in you.

For several reasons, mainly that Krulu isn't ready to do it until much later, but this test run with Belo only serves to sway him in that direction. The idea is implanted in your head first by none other than Miara, who is very good at coming up with mildly creative, kinda bullshit solutions to a lot of problems. If Krulu won't grant you offspring just yet, why not coax him with the image of you swollen by Belo's child?

This is beneficial for a lot of reasons, mostly that there's little to no danger involved for Krulu or you. Plus, it's something the higher finds himself very aroused by. The pregnancy will be smoother, and everyone gets a chance to orient themselves towards a more familial dynamic. Belo himself is extremely honored to have this chance, and exists in shock for a great deal of its duration.

After the angel hybrid child is born, your recovery is given priority, as soon enough, you'll be welcoming Krulu's heir. This pregnancy is already vastly different, and a touch more risky. (I've detailed the basic gist of it before.)

The offspring

Put simply, the siblings are as follows:

Adelo (Prince of Eden) -> Belo and Admin's child. An angel hybrid with some odd shapes here and there. Little about them is humanoid, mostly because angels are some of the most untampered types of creations genetically speaking, it would take a lot of successive breeding with lessers to make extremely humanoid angels. A very playful person, masculine-presenting, hermaphroditic. This little bozo originally simply wanted to goof off and was content only having to perform small errands for his parents, the clergymen and so forth. Upon teenhood, he's told about some plans for Eden, and how Krulu wishes Adelo would become its ruler within time. Ever since then, he has strived to make his parents' vision become reality, no matter what.

Adrul (Prince of Perdition) -> Krulu and Admin's child. Retains a lot of his father's visage, though with the odd feature of a centipede-like lower body. Has been somewhat quiet and serious since childhood, in great contrast to his brother, though he's not incapable of humor. The hybrid didn't like to feel useless and would take on any role necessary, no matter how foreign it felt. He takes his mission to heart and swears to convert every demon, or kill them where they stand shall they refuse to honor Krulu. Although he may outwardly come off as intimidating and heartless, Adrul has a lot more empathy than his brother.

As princes, it's safe to assume both monsters suffer from some degree of loneliness and stress, imposed on them by the missions they have been encumbered with. If only there was someone who caught their eye, made life more bearable...

[guiltycorp]

Just finished replaying Dragon Age II (first time i played it i was a teenager) and I have so many thoughts on Anders, as one does...

I think the centrist message of the game is strengthened many times by Anders being the only main character actively working to change the status quo of the story? When every other character opposes drastic change it feels like Anders is ‘betraying’ the core group by making those story-changing decisions on his own, and a random player’s allegiance will likely be to the mc and all of their chosen companions rather than those specific in-game groups like mages or elves. As Hawke, you can’t really directly participate one way or the other, you are simply giving your support to decisions made by the other characters, and so the first side to do something drastic is the one that feels like the more wrong one — narratively it’s of course more satisfying when it comes from the othered side (so, Qunari in Act 2, mages in Act 3).

Also, the nuance that the writers tried to include with numerous mentions of the mental toll of growing up in isolation against your will, the abuse that templars can easily cover up, swift executions — all of that is countered by blood magic and the existence of the Tevinter Imperium, and so again a random player walks away thinking ‘it’s a difficult situation but yes, perhaps there’s just no better solution for the mage problem’. Which is by design, of course, but leads to conclusions like 'ehh Anders only proved the other side right'. There's also of course the disconnect between the Chantry and the templars, the game is careful in painting the Chantry as 'blind to the abuse' rather than as the actual source of it. The Chantry came up with Magi Circles and the Templar Order is its military subdivision, but that can be easily overlooked when the local Grand Cleric was written as completely neutral despite her position of power, and so a major part of the audience reacts strongly to the destruction of a religious building as a parallel to modern real life burning of churches and mosques rather than recognizing the in-game context. Destroying the Chantry meant that Anders sought to change the system itself rather than targeting the symptoms (specific evil templars), and it is a much more powerful symbolical gesture in that way. As somebody who grew up in the faith, in one of those Circles, he is declaring that the Chantry failed him and others like him - he is not an outsider in this situation, no matter his current apostate status... And tbh I've always read Justice/Vengeance as more of an allegory than a straightforward demonic possession, pledging yourself wholly to the cause.

Also I have to mention… So Disco Elysium’s list of inspirations included the novel Germinal which is why I read it, and without spoiling too much I’ve been wondering if DA2 writers were also inspired by it. It’s a story about miners striking against their employers after being driven to it by abject poverty and hunger - everyone in the novel is aware that this strike is, unfortunately, beneficial to the company and so eventually the only available method of further protest is violence… There is an anarchist that reminded me of Anders, a man called Souvarine who has already been through a failed uprising (failed assassination of the russian tsar), who has a soft spot for a pet rabbit and who has a much better understanding of politics & socioeconomics than most other characters. Despite his educated background and delicate physical features, his personal ideology is alarmingly violent in a way that both impresses and scares the main character. He is absolutely not meant to be either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and the author carefully avoids casting judgement on his actions despite their severity - I am pretty sure that his role in the book is representative of political revolutionary movements as a whole.

I absolutely recommend the book, especially if you liked Disco Elysium or Les Mis (or have been an Anders defender for a while lol), it is less hopeful than either one of them but in a very sympathetic way, sadly still very true to our lives. Best thing I've read in years. But yeah idk ANYWAY, DA2 has way too many mining-related environments for me not to at least consider this might not be a coincidence ahaha, in which case it’s a shame the message of the novel was interpreted through a much more ‘fun fantasy video game both sides are always wrong’ lens.

[xclowniex]

I feel like at some point in this conversation we’re gonna need to actually admit there are some problems kinda inherent to Islam as a religion, arguably there are issues to must religions but must of them try to find ways to scoot around them to continue existing in the secular world, which Islam can do to but evidently doesn’t in countries where it’s the leading theocracy.

I disagree.

I agree with the fact that we shouldn't accept misogyny just because it's part of someone's beliefs and that all religions do have issues, however I disagree with a lot of what you have said.

I personally don't care what beliefs someone holds, as long as it doesn't affect me or anyone else who has not agreed for it to affect them. If a Muslim man believes in women covering up, I do not care and think it is fine to believe that as long as he does not force it upon anyone else. It should be an individuals choice to chose what laws they adhere to. Your religious freedom ends where another persons rights start.

But whilst beliefs like that are a part of Islam, I'm not sure if at least my interpretation of being "inherent to", if that is the right wording or that I agree with that.

Just like there are many ways to be Jewish, there are many ways to be muslim or Christian or any other religion. There are "oppressive" rules within the majority of religions. The reason I put oppressive in quotations is because if they are forced upon a person they are oppressive but if a person willingly chooses to follow them then they are not.

In regards to Islam in other countries where a form of a Islamic regime is in power, it is less so "Islam itself is causing these issues when its the leading belief system" and is simply people using religion as an excuse to be oppressive. Aka, the issue doesn't lie with the religion as a whole, but individuals and organizations that use it for bad.

Like for example, take the US, which is a Christian majority country which Christianity written into law. Whilst it is not to the extreme currently as some Muslim countries, it is still bad. Take project 2025, that is only the start to something disastrously oppressive to multiple groups, under the guise of Christian values. But you wouldn't look at Christianity and go "Damm this can never be the majority religion"

Plus Islam has been able to be a majority religion too without being oppressive. We have seen it before.

Lastly I just want to say, that a lot of what you have written has veered into Islamophobia, which I am staunchly against. It is okay criticize Islam and any religion, and your criticism of the misogynistic aspects of it is fine. Where it veers into Islamophobic is where you imply that Islamic countries are corrupt and oppressive purely because they are Muslim majority countries.