#cant stand hearing about this
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what the actual fuck is wrong with me? one day i will learn the answers.
#sobbing into oblivion#why the hell would i encourage that#i am so fucking fucking dumb jfc end me#today has not been great#just need you to myself for a small bit of time#cant stand hearing about this#fuck i need to sleep
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Looking at Etho with my big ol' eyes. Why do you have a pattern of becoming quickly attached to people who bully you. Yes they're doing it lovingly teasingly jokingly but how is the easiest way to get your attention to be a bit mean to you? Over here leaving mail and statues at Joel's like a cat bringing mice to his doorstep. Stealing from Gem and being in her general vicinity after she roasted you during a boating trip and constantly calls you washed up. The first time you see Cleo in last life you're like heyyy so I bet on you to die first, can you do that for me? and when she rightfully calls you out for being rude you just ask "don't you like that sort of thing?". Not to mention all of limited life followed by secret life. What's up with that. Hey get back here
#its so funny to protest being called obsessed with someone only to then constantly bug them#its like in the moment of being called obsessed with Joel hes like uhhhh yikes. then goes home and pens a love note#anyway no i didnt forget bdubs and you dont know this about me but im a ethubs enjoyer first and foremost#but theyre like. beyond whatever this is. bdubs is the hit of sincerity etho cant stand for too long#even if its what he needs to hear sometimes#orrrrrr whatever.#etho#ethoslab#hermitcraft
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post ep 11
#trigun stampede#trigun#meryl stryfe#nicholas d wolfwood#vash the stampede#i cant even elaborate on this episode bc ive spent all day Thinking about it yesterday#and it made me Miserable#i just want to see vash have some autonomy again...#he is a little bit more on the quieter end for stampede as less angry about things but i dont think he's more of a coward in stampede#even though he was transported into his memories and saw and heard those terrible things from the kids and wolfwood#he was able to gather himself and keep going#his resilience has always been the strongest and also saddest thing about him#so it killed me irreversibly when he lost the one person who he could always look back to reliably#the fact knives couldnt even alter anything in rem's dialogue within those memories just stands for how strong her place is in vash's memory#and potentially knives just knows that would be too ooc of her to make in any Universe if she had something horrible.#man. I TALKED ABOUT THIS IN LIKE ALL 3 PLATFORMS. I'm alright with Knives as a character but jesus#- i did it all for you - im so sad that vash had to hear something like that. im so so sad about it#anyway i hope meryl stays safe shes done so much#i love her so much <3#ruporas art
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Angst time :D👍
You can read my rambling about her in the tags
#listen LisTEN TO Me#hear me OuT#oh is hc time#I read a while ago howw empathetic people tend to feel bad when they feel any angry/“negative emoy#el archivo literalmrnte lo tengo giardafo como “problemas emocionales goes brrrr” xD#how they tend to bottle everything up cause it makes thrm feel shame about how their actions might be seen as “selfish”#despite having VERY good and VALID reasons to justify thrir anger#based on the pilot I think she's pretty meek and also a little bit of a pushover#also I was thinking she'll be pretty self consious and try to mask her emotions the best she can#which obviously is super unhealthy#I think that at some point she's just going to SNAP and is gonna be awful and soo sad and omg I cant wait to see it#give my girl some character development pls#cause as much as I like crybabies characters I also like for thrm to learn how to stand up for themselves#anyway sory if that didnt made sense xDd is just that I have never had so much fun with a fictional character#mi hija fr#el archivo literalmente lo tengo guardado vomo “problemas emocionales goes brrr” xD#ya ahora si los tags serios#tadc fanart#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc gangle#gangle
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Kaeya had always been an efficient and hard-working individual (he had to be to support Diluc in the background as his brother rose thru the ranks after all).
He has so much free time because he completes all his work way ahead of schedule. And if he still has enough time, he adds more to the workload in secret.
And once all of that was done and over with, he makes time for everyone. He has to. He feels as if every moment has to be given to someone else.
No one knows how he does it. No one has to know.
Every mission has a dozen strategies in line, and every battle plan is made with efficiency in mind. His perfect record will not be tarnished. He can't risk it (even if it baffles others that he would willingly activate a ruin guard just to prevent a failed mission. Jean disagrees with his methods, but Kaeya can say that the results say otherwise)
He needs to be quick.
Efficient.
Perfect.
And so he comes and goes like the wind.
Kaeya values time because he knew every second counted. He can't just stand there as if he were frozen. Time could run out in an instant.
Kaeya had only been late once his entire life.
He'd rather he never be late ever again.
It took one day of being of being imperfect for everything to fall apart. On that tragic day...had he gotten there on time... then maybe...
.
.
.
" Come on, let's get moving, traveler. We're not frozen in place after all. " Kaeya teasingly says. He stiffles a giggle at the traveler's exhasperated sigh.
"Yeah yeah, we've heard enough of you calling us a slacker. Can't you be a bit more patient?" Paimon whines at him.
Kaeya snorts, but acquiesces, hiding the shaking of his hands at the thought of being idle.
He imagines hearing a clock ticking.
Kaeya knows that that is his own problem. He tries his hardest to relax as he waits for the traveler to finish whatever they're making on the alchemy table because, seriously, it is supposed to be a relaxing day. There's nothing major going on, and his schedule is once again empty as intended. What's the hurry?
Kaeya taps his foot on the ground as he waits. He wishes he could take his own damn advice when he tells others to relax.
#kaeyachi randoms#kaeya#kaeya alberich#this is actually shorter than it originally was can yall believe?#kaeya with anxiety truther there i said it#kaeya cant stand being IDLE#get it? get it?#you see that is a play of words in reference to when he is stood idle on our screens. he is one of the more verbally impatient characters#and we also see it reflected on his actions both in fighting and at work. he has a speed boost bonus and if he isnt teleporting he is#actually moving so fast that he seems like it. this is what i also concluded that results him in large amounts of free time that only amber#seemed to be hardpressed about. the people of mondstadt find him reliable and approachable despite the lax attitude and frequent nights at#angels share. we also had lore tidbits before of kaeya straight up saying he finished all his work and jean saying that he also did the#backlogged ones. It is actually insane that we hear him relaxing frequently and i bet its not because of the lack of horses COZ LOOK AT HOW#BUSY THE OTHER CAPTAINS ARE. Also id like to think that he is a toned down noelle and that is why jean told him to watch over her training#give us noelle and kaeya interactions pls i kinda need it tbh#to all those that reached this far into the notes i actually have more to say so get ready#if it wasnt clear the only day he was late was when crepus died. everything fell apart for him that day so i can see some obsessive need to#just keep running around and doing things as efficient as possible. I also think that he found the knights slow and inefficient in several#occasions and he is willing to put them in the line of fire just to get their hearts pumping with adrenaline (and fear lol). idk kaeya is#just so anxiety-coded. impatience-core. Mr. dont waste my time type of guy. and also wow look i found a way to make his idles become angst#silly me ehe#oh youre still here? how about i tell you that kaeya-efficiency-alberich probably knows where everyone is at any time of the day?#can we honestly please give him more free time i need more of him tbh#fun reminder that bro is working around 3-4 jobs casually lmao#i also just realized that the notes is a whole nother post on its own#AND THE ACTUAL FUNNY PART IS I CAN STILL ELABORATE MORE ON THIS LMAO#wait let me add this one tiny idea too but he thinks time is so valuable. bro lost 2 dads and lost time with his bro + he significantly#lessened his time at dawn winery for quite some time. i can see why he is extroverted now.
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also ess*k wasnt there when cad said that so do you think tmn were like (beau voice) Hey man do you want to hear about this fucking awesome thing cad said to ikithon? and just like keep telling people about it . that feels right and correct in my heart
#like: hey you know how ikithon got put in jail for evil crimes?#want to hear the absolutely legendary dunk our bestie said to him way before that ? and cads just kind of standing there like :-]#tmn are kind of rude loners but also. cant wait to brag about how awesome their friends are . 2 meeeee#but also jester does it all the time no matter what#kiddo say#cr spoilers
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I think we should fully embrace the idea that when Jason crawled his way out of his grave, he didn’t just come back with scars. He lost part of his voice.
Not like he had much practice talking while he was buried under six feet of dirt, right? And then, they toss him into the Lazarus Pit, and sure, his body’s alive again, but his mind? It’s a mess. Revenge. Anger. Confusion. There’s no room left for casual conversation when all he can think about is what happened to him. He only speaks when he has to, because trying to form words feels like trying to sift through the fog that’s settled in his brain.
But Jason? He still loves to read. Vocabulary isn’t the problem, it’s the act of speaking itself. Sometimes, when he opens his mouth, he swears he can taste the dirt. He can feel the dryness in his throat, like it’s still raw from all the screaming, and suddenly, talking becomes this… unbearable thing. So he stops, because silence is better than remembering.
And even when he does talk? It doesn’t sound like him. It’s not the voice of the boy who used to crack jokes with Bruce or make snarky remarks. There are no voice cracks anymore. There’s nothing familiar. He doesn’t sound like himself. It’s like some stranger stole his voice, and it makes him feel… like a ghost in his own skin.
So yeah, maybe he’ll eventually start talking more often. Maybe he’ll even pretend he’s fine. But I think, deep down, Jason never really got his voice back after the grave.
#jason todd#i need more ppl to talk abt how jason was affected after dying outside of an emotional stance#also something about jason who can't bring himself to use hos voice but he also cant stand the silence#bcs he'll start having ptsd from waking up in his grave#so its just. a horrible time all around.#how would the batfam react?#maybe the only time hes okay with hearing his voice#is when he's reading out loud#maybe his voice sounds like bruce- and so all he hears is bruce reading to him#batfam
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Are there any Professor Snart fics out there? The thought came to me and now I'm lying on the floor trying to get my brain to reboot.
Think about it. The gossip surrounding the hot new English professor. The casual but professional outfits. The captivating lectures. The charming smiles. The corny jokes. The starry-eyed students. The never-ending string of faculty friends and students visiting when he's in his office. The abundance of award-winning books he's written (James Patterson who?). The Dean is ready to offer him tenure if Len agrees to add another class or two to his roster because they have so many students begging to be in his class. He goes to his students' poetry slams to encourage them and has a writing workshop for inspiring authors. He sponsored a scholarship in his name for LGBTQ+ students. He volunteers to help with the theater department. Not long after he's hired, Professor Leonard Snart seems to be the only thing anyone wants to talk about at Central City University.
#theres so many ways to fit barry into this#a stressed senior who can't stand hearing Iris go on and on about her new hot teacher#a fellow professor who cant string two sentences together in front of his favorite author#an inspiring CSI hell-bent on proving the picture-perfect professor isn't who he seems to be#the Ezra/Aria meetfuck in the bar bathroom the day before he realized he just had sex with his new professor#Barry's work friends have adopted Len into their friend group and think they should date#professors rivalry aka how many times can we pretend we actually hate each other before we fuck on your desk#i could go on#but I'll run out of tags#leonard snart#coldflash#barry allen#the flash#captain cold#professor snart
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Heard owner of a lonely heart out in the wild today, as if I'm supposed to be able to be normal about it
#Charles rowland#dead boy detectives#now i cant stop thinking about the devlin house and how it occured only a few years after charles own death#how the girls described the dead boy detectives saying them and infact reference the pair of them and a psychic girl and how ultimately#charles was trapped in the loop with them and couldnt save them in the end but they still say detectives because no charles couldnt save#them but he tried and he tried to stand up against the father like no one stood up against his and it didnt do anything in the end but#mayb it meant something to those girls to see someone finally do it#Ill never be able to listen to that wong the same again#ever ever its not ruined 4 me cuz i do love the devlin house ep but its impossible 4 me to hear that somg and not think of it
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Day 186 | id in alt
Maki beloved!!!!!
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#zenin maki#gojo satoru#Kugisaki and gojo go wild for red 40 as they should#trusted baby formula: 6 cups of red 40#also you cant tell me Maki dosent just stand around sometimes until she gets to take a spot which ends up in her taking the entire thing#Kugisaki is the only exception bc everyone and their dog hear maki say “well...as long as shes happy.” about Kugisaki#both girls Simultaneously implode around eachother sometimes its kinda funny#Maki cannot sound nonchalant and out together around Kugisaki its so funny bc Kugisaki is always doing SOMETHING sets her off balance#Maki and her constant ???!????? around Kugisaki i giggle
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rehyperfixating on a children’s game that came out in 2015, is one of the least popular entries in its series, and has minimal content, the vast majority of which i’ve seen before. the series has been dead for nearly 10 years, nothing has happened recently that would warrant anyone’s returning interest in it, very few of my friends give a shit about this specific game, and those few who played and liked it in the past have no reason to give a shit about it at all right now. i have been coasting through on a playthrough i’ve been doing with a friend who’d never seen the game before and who was kind enough to let me show it to them, but we just beat the game, and after we play the epilogue we will have nothing left to do, and on top of that they really have just been humoring me as they have their own very strong current hyperfixation they would much rather be thinking about. also i am depressed enough right now that literally nothing else except for waiting to play this game with them and playing this game with them and watching them enjoy it at least a little has been able to briefly quiet the constant cacophony in my head screaming how much of a worthless, lazy, constantly-failing miserable excuse for a living person i am and how much better everything would be, especially for myself, if i stopped existing lately. would anyone like to volunteer to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ because i would really like for someone to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ right now
#me.txt#delete ltr#and i like hearing my friends talk about and show me their interests but it isnt enoughhhh its not enough right now to make my head SHUT UP#right now the only thing that can give me energy is a hyperfixation like this#but with enough content and engagement from others to keep subsisting me without hitting a wall#SOMETHING THAT IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO DO WHEN YOU CANNOT DRAW OR WRITE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#BECAUSE WHEN NOBODY IS MAKING ANYTHING!!!!! AND YOU CANT MAKE ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!! ALL YOU CAN DO IS CURL UP AND STARVE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼#immmm so sick of the only thing that makes being alive feel worth it being hyperfixations theres nothing REAL tying me down i cant stand it#because i am!! too broken!!!! to ever achieve any of the things that WOULD give me a real solid tangible reason to keep living!!!!!!#like a stable job!!!! a place of my own!!! a partner whos dedicated to me above everyone else and me to them in return!!!!!!!#a LIFE that isnt just constantly failing over and over and waiting for the shoe to drop and to lose everything all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont have that!!! and i cant have that!!!!! because im too broken to be able to cultivate and maintain it!!!!!#and the only way. to fix myself enough to be able to do so.#would be to HAVE ENOUGH STABILITY THAT ID HAVE THE TIME AND ENERGY TO PUT INTO FIXING MYSELF AND HEALING#i cant fix myself without stability and freedom. and i cant get stability and freedom unless i’m fixed#so it is. literally impossible!!!!!!!#impossible to create my own concrete solid reason to be here.#impossible for me to even create anything to feed the fixations that are my backup reasons.#theres nothing!! nothing!!! i have nothing new to leap to and ive been dwindling for too long and i think i am about to drown#im just waiting for time to tick out. for me to fuck up too badly to come back from one last time and get found out and punished.#and then? theres nothing left. theres literally nothing else left for me
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You know, the Zelda fandom is the only fandom I know that will get extra official content and find something to complain about it. Dearies, if it's in an official book, it's canon. LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT. I can't fathom why you all always want to find the negative in the series so bad. Do you even love or care about Zelda?! "It's not in the game 😩" yeah but it's in a book BY THE CREATORS. What more could you possibly want?!
You have the ability to draw and write fanfics. Do it. That's what extra content is there for. For you to take from it and enjoy it. To fantasize off of it
#the legend of zelda#i cant stand the majority of the fandom for a damn second. what happened to you all?#botw came out and everyone started acting so entitled. just ENJOY THE GAME SERIES GOD DAMN IT#okay rant done. i needed it off my chest#oh zelda fandom. oh zelda fandom#scamperin shroom spouts nonsense#this is like the equivalent of people complaining that the content of the book of bill wasn't in gravity falls. its so fucking frustrating#no one in the zelda fandom has any reading comprehension whatsoever which is shocking when the games all have text in it!#im sorry to any fandom that has to hear zelda fans complain. we have NOTHING to complain about 💀#with the book of bill i mean people having a riot of alex not putting Bill's backstory in the show when we understand why it wasn't#you can only fit so much into a game#im glad the zelda team even cared to show us more of rauru and sonia in a concept book
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thinking about lawrence. about how he held adam. crawled over to him to cup his face and promise. thinking about “we’re gonna be ok?” “i wouldn’t lie to you.” about how lawrence couldn’t keep his promise, no matter how badly he wanted to and “i myself, whenever i close my eyes, i see adams corpse.” thinking about. ‘eventually something you love is going to be taken away. and then you will fall to the floor crying. and then, however much later, it is finally happening to you: you’re falling to the floor crying thinking, “i am falling to the floor crying," but there's an element of the ridiculous to it - you knew it would happen and, even worse, while you're on the floor crying you look at the place where the wall meets the floor and you realize you didn't paint it very well.’
#sorry the richard siken crept in#lawrence makes me so sad he just makes me. so so upset i cant stand it#sacrificed everything for nothing. still breathing given a ‘second chance at life’ yet still just as dead as adam#everything he was died in that bathroom hello can anyone hear me#lawrence gordon#chainshipping#if i think about lawrences face going back into the bathroom .. him remembering it all .. looking back almost longingly i’ll go into shock#he is just so fucking sad. broken guy of all time#do you ever think he wishes he just stayed and died in there like adam#with adam#anyway#📹
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for people who have anxiety but live alone anyway: how do u deal with the panic? I live with 2 other people and still have bubble burst moments of random fear that only gets soothed by putting myself in someone else's eyeline. what do you do when the catastrophising starts???
#my body has a lot of random weird pain frkm 26 years of bad things and every time im like#i should have written a will its really happening this time im about to drop dead#so i skitter around the house to stand close enough to someone else that theyd hear me if i fall over LMAO#insane behavior i know. i have a mountain of medical anxiety bc of my grandparents#but like i cant even wrap my head around what id do if i felt that way and was alone 24/7 at home#panic forever???#who makes you eat and shower bc its sure not MY executive function keeping me alive on the bad days LOL#id wither away if i lived alone i think#kinda sad my life went a way where thats never going to happen tho. to the end of wanting to know who id be#how would i dress and act and decorate?? eat?? what kind of dishes would i get. throw blankets too#what would i learn abt myself etc its an iteration of me that will likely never happen bc im happily married#hmmm#ur always going to wonder about the lifestyles you didnt have. thats normal#but it does make me wonder what i would have been like if i had friends and my own space#oh to be a fag making out with his friends in the privacy of his own home#or maybe thats just how i feel bc were literally married and have never been able to afford to live alone Together lol
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I believe Kamala- despite every word she has ever spoken on the matters- is actually deeply pro-Palestine, pro-trans & overall a progressive hero, because I understand that when democrats say repugnant reactionary things while campaigning they are actually lying! which is good & normal for so-called democratic elections!!!!! if you listen to the gnomes who live inside my walls you'll understand her real values, which she'll totally pinky promise act upon once you reward her lies & elect her! you dumb third party voters would understand this if u payed attention in civics class 💅💅💅
#do you votescold blue no matter whos even hear yourselves#like i say this from the glass house of mental illness i too live in but yall are fucking clinically deranged#'u see the good guys will lie to us to seem like bad guys until the season 4 finale when plot twist reveals thay r good!' LUNACY!!!#santa clause is more real than a promise out of the mouth of a democrat i am BEGGING liberals to understand (and give a shit about) this#sorry i guess unlike the 'injustice sensitivity' many american neurospicies love using as a shield for when they do racist things i just#have boring I Dont Like Being Lied To autism which uh is preventing me from (well a lot!) getting on the imperialism train that many#of you are twisting yourselves into pretzels of cognitive dissonance & ahistorical nonsense in order to cope with!#vote if you want idgaf but stop posting electoral cope!!! stop seeking absolution for the crimes youre cosigning!! you cant have it all!!!!#i'll see you in another 4 years when nothing has been done about climate catastrophe or genocide or lgbtq rights or reproductive rights#bc if- and its still a huge if- kamala wins i know for FACT the usual suspects are already cooking up excuses as to why she cant follow thr#through on any of the crumbs of progressive policy she claims to stand by. its already the senates or SC fault right 🙄#ugh anyway now im just going down the 'every easily identifiable lie of the dems that I'M somehow the bad guy for noticing' rabbit hole#and that leads to nowhere but madness and an afternoon wasted 😤
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hey what's your immediate deal breaker when watching video essays. like for me if the person sounds like they're trying to record while someone else is sleeping in the same room I will turn it off. if I feel like you are whispering directly in my ear I will immediately turn it off and find something else to watch
#like for example i know some ppl cant stand overly-edited stuff (like kurtis connor or chadchad) w like excessive sound effects#(kurtis and chadchad are two of my favorites but i completely understand the complaint lmfaoo)#anyway wrt to the whispering i swear to god. commit or quit. speak with conviction#like find a time of day when you don't have to worry about neighbors or roommates hearing you if thats an issue#but just. talk normal. the low weird hushed voice makes me absolutely go apeshit. its like asmr#it makes me LITERALLY scratch at my arms until ive broken skin#mia.txt#ALSO MOUTH SOUNDS#get a wind screen for the love of god if i can hear the inside of your mouth im reaching thru the screen and strangling you
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