#canonically she can't stop to process it because if she DID well lets just say . events would go extremely not in her favor

[smokycinnaroll-art]

what to do?

(i do commissions now!)

[runawaydr3amerao3]

Fanbinding by @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis 📖🫶

Continuing my run as the luckiest little fangirl in the west... 🥺💖

@jinkieswouldyoulookatthis did something truly beautiful for me recently, and I've just received the results: my very own handmade, hand bound copy of my West series.

You can see her incredibly cool (possibly haunted) process here:

Below, you can see my very uncool emotional breakdown of/about it (and some more photos). 🥲

Now look at all of the beautiful details!

These end papers are so eye-grabbing and perfectly selected, since the series takes place through a revolving door of motels, just as in early-seasons canon.

The title verso has all of the information from AO3, the original LJ publishing dates, @idlingintheimpalapodcast's podfic version details, and the fanbinding specs. Then there's the contents page! JUST LIKE A REAL BOOK, YOU GUYS!

Also, did you happen to spot @tsukiyo-7's credit line on the verso page?! BECAUSE I DID! And I had no idea what that was about until I opened to the page with their custom artwork!

How freaking cool is that?! 😭 Thank you, you fantastically talented person! 💖 Everyone go check out their other beautiful art (plenty of stunning Wincest. 🫶) on their Tumblr!

In case you're wondering, the Kushtaka, which Jinkies also created a whole, super cool entry from John's hunting journal for, is the creature that necessitates Sam and Dean ending up in the shower together in part two of the series. 🤭

Then, not only that, but this curious little sticker tumbled out when I opened those pages:

Because Jinkies doesn't do anything by halves, it turns out that she even found this traditional formline artwork of the Kushtaka by Nick Alan Foote, an indigenous artist of Native American Tlingit heritage, where the legend comes from. That is such a special connection to have that I would never have expected. I'm way beyond touched. 🥹 Please check out the artist's other wonderful work here on Insta.

The final dagger in the coffin of my tendency to blubber at the drop of a hat, let alone in the face of heartfelt gestures, was this page:

@sam-is-my-safe-word and @talltalesandbedtimestories have been personal champions and cheerleaders of mine since the very beginning of my return to writing in this fandom, and they haven't stopped since. The fact that they still have effusively kind things to say about me and my work just makes me want to die (in a happy way).

The comments on my fics are, like, 90% of what keeps me writing. Sharing and engaging and knowing that my stories are making people happy is what it's all about for me, so having those comments from @fictionallemons, Faraway22 (not sure if they're on here under a different username?), Jinkies, and @chiquititasnewsong preserved as a reminder of that... Honestly, you should be glad you can't hear the noises I'm making right now.

The thing is, I knew Jinkies was doing this. She asked permission before she started, she offered to make me a copy as well, and I've been elated and flattered from the moment she did. But now, having it in my hands, I'm moved even further than I thought I would be (and believe me, I know myself–I knew I'd be a mess).

I live a very small life, y'all. The joys I experience tend to be on the same scale. So while this might not be grand or extravagant to many people, this gift, of something I put into the world through a medium I've only really known digitally, intangibly, now being something I can hold in my hands as proof that I've touched the lives of people so far and wide, is a kind of profound that these words don't do justice.

It makes my life feel pretty darn big after all.

Thank you, @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis. Thank you to those who contributed. Thank you to everyone who's read and commented and been a part of West in some way over the last 14 years. The story's still being told in this way. I'm so grateful to remain a part of it.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Soul Survivor: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Sam begins the process of curing Dean while you sit back and watch Dean get worse before he gets better. One thing is for sure: you're going to have a lot of fun drowning his soul in pain.

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

You're surprised Cas isn't around to give his input. Sam called Cas and told him to make his way to the Bunker to help, but without angel wings, Cas needed to find another way to get to the Bunker. He hooked up with an angel named Hannah because if Dean is a demon, then he's going to need all the help he can get.

Hannah doesn't spend a lot of time on Earth so she is new to driving. She tried using a map to guide her back to the Bunker but ended up making a wrong turn somewhere. She and Cas are stuck on some backroads in an area they are both not familiar with. She lays the map on the hood of the car and studies it while Cas is on the other side trying not to think about how sucky he feels.

He doesn't have his grace so whatever grace he stole before is dying out. Either he needs more of it or he is going to die.

"Sorry, I missed another turn. I have no idea where the main road is." Hannah sighs. "These things are so confining and primitive." She looks up and notices Cas' hunched posture. "It's getting worse, isn't it?" He doesn't answer her so she walks around the car to face him. "Castiel, it's time we stopped avoiding the obvious. You and I both know how to fix this—both you and the situation."

"I will not slit some angel's throat and steal its grace." She opens her mouth but Cas puts a hand up to silence her. "Before you say it, we definitely are not going to beg Metatron."

"What about helping your friend? What about sending the rogue angels back to Heaven? Your preference to die for your principles is very noble but it is meaningless."

"Then you carry on."

"I am not enough!" she shouts.

"Sometimes enough is whatever you have." Cas stumbles and Hannah grabs his arm to steady him. They look into each other's eyes thoughtfully, but the moment is ruined by Cas' phone ringing. "Sam?"

"Hey, are you still coming?"

"I'm a few hours away. Is the treatment working?"

"No, not very well. I don't understand. This isn't like how it was with Crowley. Dean is in pain. I mean, he's in bad pain. It's like he's barely holding on. Cas... I might be killing him."

You walk into the library to overhear Sam's side of the conversation. Dean dying for the second time wouldn't be a worry on your shoulders, but then all you'd hear is Sam's whining about how he lost his brother. He'd do everything he can to bring you back, and you're not about that. Dean can't die. This has to work.

"It might be," Cas sighs.

"Should I stop?"

"And do what? He's not possessed. Exorcism is out of the question. The ritual of purified blood is the only treatment I know."

"Did you not hear what I just said? I could be killing my brother!"

"Sam, he's not your brother. Not now. You have to be prepared for--"

"Killing my brother, I got it," Sam sighs.

You walk right up to him and snatch the phone from his hands. Not only does he have his brother to worry about, but he has you.

"Hey, Cas, Y/N here. Listen, I really don't care if Dean lives or dies. In fact, him out of the picture would make my life much easier. However, I don't want to spend the rest of my life with Sam whining and complaining about how he lost his brother. If there is another way to save Dean, then better let us know now."

Cas is shocked to hear you speak this way. Yes, he knew Dean become a demon as soon as Metatron killed him but he didn't know about your condition. The last time he was with Sam was when you were unconscious in one of the bedrooms. To hear you say something like this when he knows you're in love with Dean is jarring.

"What's wrong with you?" is all he can say.

"Nothing is wrong with me. This is the new me. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move on with your life."

"Give me the fucking phone," Sam hisses and steals his phone back. You shrug and walk off to entertain yourself somewhere else. "I'm sorry about her."

"What's going on with Y/N?"

"Something happened to her, Cas. It's like all the good has been sucked out of her. Whatever made her, her isn't there anymore."

"Okay, we'll look into it when I get there. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay. I'll leave the entry unlocked for you. Just hurry, please."

Sam hangs up the phone and decides to check on his brother. You follow quickly with a popsicle in your hand to see what kind of drama they're going to create. Dean is slouched over in his chair with his eyes closed. If you didn't know any better, Dean is dead. Sam runs over to his brother and slaps his cheek to bring him back.

"Hey, Dean! Come on! Come back! Y/N, do something!"

"Why?" you ask and lick your popsicle.

"No," Dean whispers.

"Come back to me. Hey! Dean, are you okay?"

"Yeah, if you consider drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils 'okay'."

Dean coughs as Sam takes a step back from him.

"Look, I can't stop doing this."

"Sure you can. You just stop! There's no point in trying to bring your brother back now."

"Oh, I will bring him back and then both of us are going to bring Y/N back."

"Good luck with that," you scoff.

"Fun fact, Sammy, your guilt-ridden, weight-of-the-world bro has been MIA for quite some time now. I'm loving the new model: Lean, mean, Dean. Did you notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible? Away from your whining and your complaining. I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just tired of babysitting you or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since forever." Dean laughs at the pain on Sam's face. "Maybe it was the fact that my mother would still be alive if it wasn't for you. That your very existence sucked the life out of my life!"

"Ouch," you say and sit down. "Are you gonna take that, Sam?"

"This isn't my brother talking," Sam says and ignores you for now.

"You never had a brother! Just an excuse for not manning up. Guess what: I quit."

"No, you don't. You don't get to quit. We don't get to quit in this family! This family is all we have ever had!"

"Then we got nothin'."

"Would you say that to Dad?"

"Dad? Oh, there's a prize," Dean scoffs. "There's a man who brainwashed us into wasting our lives fighting his losing battle!" Sam turns away from Dean and prepares the next syringe. "Oh. Ooh. Is this you manning up?"

"This is me yanking your lame ass out of the fire." Sam turns and jams another needle full of blood into Dean's arm. "You're welcome."

Sam leaves his brother gasping in pain at the job the purified blood is doing to his body. You get up and go to follow Sam but turn at the entrance to the dungeon. 

"I hope you get cured."

"Why?" Dean coughs.

"When your pretty little soul is restored to what it was before, I'm going to have such a fun time drowning it in pain. You're gonna become my new favorite toy." You wink and suck on the popsicle. "See ya."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[mrsbsmooth]

….hiiii. um, i'm the gary season 2 pov anon. i'm so warmie at the thought that literally anyone else would want to read the fic, it's been such a labor of love, like two whole years of writing. it's also veeeeerrrry spicy lol, which was another concern of mine, as i've published fics before for other fandoms and such, and had fun doing it, but i had a really awful experience with a now ex friend of mine who had previously beta read literally everything i've ever written. but i'd found out that she was shit talking about my writing behind my back and when i confronted her she just doubled down about it and even posted in this writer's group chat we'd both been in for *years* about how awful my writing was and how glad she was that she would never have to read it again, with a literal picture of something I'd written when i was like, twelve and had sent to her as a joke. anyway, i've been really…insecure about my writing ever since, and i hadn't even realized it until now, and i just wanted to thank you?? you're such a fantastic writer and you're such a wonderful spot in the fandom as well. i've decided to go ahead and start publishing the fic, though it's prooobably going to be a long process, haha. first chapter is up, and if you're into it, i hope you might give it a shot? https://archiveofourown.org/works/52324489/chapters/132367141 anyway just wanted to thank you and say that i love your writing!!!

Okay so before i address a single other thing, I've just finished chapter one and AAAAHHHHHH I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gary's internal monologue is so intriguing, and honestly right now, I needed this. Male POV is one of my absolutely favourite things to read (and write!). I love Cass she must be protected at all costs!

Here's the Gary fic: if i fall (can you let me down easy)

Now, onto the rest.

Firstly, I am so, so sorry that happened to you, but you've gotta fix your language. That's not an 'ex friend'. That's someone who was pretending to be your friend, but never, ever was. It doesn't matter if they did favours for you, or were kind to your face. If they're deliberately putting you down behind your back, they're not your friend, they never were, and you should stop giving them the honour of referring to them as such. Especially not if they took something you shared with them in confidence and used it against you.

Not. A. Friend.

Writing is unbelievably personal. You are putting a piece of your soul, a tiny bit of your own history and story into everything you write. So to share that with someone and have them betray your trust? I can totally understand why you would feel anxious or insecure about sharing it. But I can tell you right now, you have absolutely no reason to be insecure about your writing. Absolutely NONE. This is good. Like I had to go switch the laundry and do the dishwasher, but i had my phone in my hand the entire time just scrolling because I was having a great time reading it.

It absolutely warms my heart that you're publishing it, I hope you continue to do so because I think this really is a great fic. It's such perfect timing as well, given the eps have just disappeared and this is so close to canon so far, urgh. I can't wait.

Encourage everyone (especially the Gary stans!) to go and read <3

x

[tojisangrylittlething]

supernova - megumi fushiguro x fem!reader

chapter three: the new girl

tw: canon typical violence, some cussing

wc: 4.5k

a/n: chapter 3 eeee! i know i know this may seem slow, but trust the process my friends! lot of story to tell and lot of love to build up hehe

slowly but surely, you and yuuji have settled into the school.

you both received your uniforms, the same basic navy uniform while yuuji's has a red hood attached, yours has a white one.

you're currently sitting in your dorm and browsing on your laptop. a knock on your door startles you out of your once peaceful state.

"oi, sister, get out here! gojo-sensei needs us for something!"

you shut your laptop with a sigh, a bit annoyed that your perusing was interrupted.

you stand up and walk toward your door, opening it with a bit too much force that it hits the wall.

you send a glare at your brother, "must you always be so loud! i was doing something!"

yuuji waves you off with a small laugh, "you can finish your shopping later, gojo-sensei called for us."

you let out a huff and rolled your eyes, "fine, let me put on my shoes."

you turn back to your room and grab your shoes from where they sit by the door. once you've slipped them on, you walk back out the door. shutting it until you hear it click.

yuuji begins to walk off and you follow, heading toward wherever gojo is.

---

you wind up at the entrance of the school, where your sensei stands alongside megumi.

"ah there you two are!" gojo says with a smile, he seems to smile an awful lot for a sorcerer.

yuuji sends a smile back at him as you cross your arms, "what did you need gojo-sensei? i was a bit busy."

yuuji scoffs at you, "yeah, too busy with online shopping."

you hit his arm and he holds his hands up defensively, giggling at you.

"they were having a sale, mind you, and i needed a new top!"

gojo laughs at the antics of you and your brother, then decides to speak up, "i'm sorry to ruin your free time, but we need to pick up a new student!"

yuuji looks at him quizzically, "new student?"

you groan at him, "is the new student a girl? please tell me she is because i'm getting tired of being surrounded by this much testosterone."

gojo looks at you blankly, "i'm going to pretend you didn't just hurt my feelings, but yes, she is."

you fist pump the air, while yuuji lets out a small groan.

"if she's anything like my sister, this is going to suck."

you smack him on the arm again, beginning to chase him and shout about how you're a fantastic sister.

megumi watches on, rolling his eyes slightly at the two of you, ready to just get on with it. were he and tsumiki always like this?

gojo walks toward you and yuuji, grabbing you both by the back of your hoods, effectively stopping the fight.

"alright students, as much as i would love to see you two fight, we do need to be going. yuuji, you're up front with me!"

as gojo walks back toward the car, megumi doesn't miss the small smirk gojo sends toward him.

asshole.

yuuji hops up front with gojo, and you make your way to the back of the car.

megumi opens the door for you with a small smile, and you give him the same bashful look.

"thank you, fushiguro." you say with a nod and hop in, sliding all the way over.

megumi nods at you and hops in himself.

with that, you're on your way to pick up the new student.

---

you, yuuji, and megumi are all standing on the busy streets. you can't help but stare at all of the shops and food vendors with curiosity, wishing you weren't here on business.

yuuji sits on top of a rail, eating a popsicle, "so wait, why are there only four first years? isn't that too few?"

megumi turns to look at him, "well, have you ever met anyone who can see curses before?"

yuuji stops eating then, simply holding the popsicle in his mouth for a moment while he thinks, "nope, i guess not."

megumi glances around at his surroundings and then back to yuuji, "that just proves how small a minority jujutsu sorcerers are."

you turn to the two boys then, remembering something megumi had said previously, "wait, didn't you say yuuji and i were the third and fourth?"

megumi looks at you then and sees the inquisitive look on your face, "their entry was decided a while ago. i'm sure you know what our school is like by now, everyone has unique circumstances."

"sorry for the wait!"

all of you turn your heads to see gojo walking up to you three casually. he then glances at you and yuuji, looking the both of you up and down. "i see your uniforms made it in time!"

you nod at him and look down at your uniform, "yeah, it's a perfect fit, wasn't expecting that if i'm honest."

yuuji looks at him, pulling on his uniform slightly, "though, it's a bit different from fushiguro's."

gojo holds a finger up in the air, "that's because they can be customized upon request."

you furrow your brows, "request? i never put in any request, did you yuuji?"

he shakes his head at you.

"that's because i did." gojo says with a grin.

you both look at him blankly, you scratch the back of your neck, "well thanks, i guess."

megumi glances at you out of the corner of his eye, "careful, gojo-sensei has a tendency to do things like that." he then looks back to gojo, glancing upward, "more importantly, why are we meeting up in harajuku?"

gojo just smiles at him, beginning to walk down the street, "it's what she asked for!"

all three of you begin walking after him, seemingly given no choice in the matter.

---

eventually, you find who you're looking for. she's not hard to miss, wearing the uniform while also yelling at some guy on the street. something about modeling you think.

"hey! over here!"

you jump slightly at the volume of gojo's voice, bumping into megumi in the process.

"sorry fushiguro, the big oaf scared me."

he glares at gojo then, but his gaze softens when he looks back at you, "don't worry about it, itadori. he scares all of us sometimes."

you giggle at that and find that megumi is also sporting a small smile. you look back at the girl, who has now made her way toward all of you.

"nobara kugisaki. be happy, boys. that i'm..." she cuts herself off then and notices you standing there. she grins slightly at the sight of you, "one of the women in your group. thought you said i was the only one sensei?"

gojo waves her off with a small laugh, "things happen, you should know that kugisaki."

she looks back at you and you give her a small smile, "y/n itadori, so happy to have another woman here." you lean forward, cupping your hand over one side of your mouth whispering, "please save me."

she leans her head back and lets out a full-belly laugh. she looks back at you, her eyes seeming to shine brightly, "we're going to get along so well."

once the rest of you introduce themselves, megumi turns to gojo, "are we going somewhere from here?"

gojo chuckles slightly and looks at all of you with a smile, but you can see the mischief hidden behind it.

"well, since all of you are together, we're going on a tour of tokyo!"

you, yuuji, and nobara all cheer in celebration. megumi looks at all of you discontentedly, wondering are they always like this?

---

"when you said a tour of tokyo, this is not what i thought you meant." nobara says, throwing her back with a groan.

all of you are standing in front of an abandoned building with a cemetery nearby. you can feel that same heaviness in the air like you did at the high school that night.

gojo continues to look at the building, "there's a curse here. the cemetery nearby only adds to it."

you pipe up then, "so they do really pop up more often around graves."

megumi turns to you, "the issue isn't the cemetery itself, it's the fact that people associate cemeteries with fear."

yuuji lets out a noise of realization then, "it was the same for schools, too, wasn't it?"

nobara then looks over at all of you, confusion and irritation all over her face, "hold up, they didn't even know that yet?"

megumi closes his eyes with a sigh. he then begins to explain to nobara how the two of you wound up as jujustu sorcerers. sukuna's finger, how yuuji swallowed it, and the mysterious powers you seem to possess.

nobara gasps at that, all of it seeming unbelievable to her, "he swallowed a special-grade cursed object? gross!" she gags at the thought of swallowing something so vile.

she turns to you then with an accusatory stare, "and you! you didn't swallow anything, so how could you even do that? especially with no experience?!"

you shrug your shoulders at her, "i don't know. it just kind of happened."

she opens her mouth, probably wanting to ask you more questions when gojo cuts her off.

"i want to know what all of you are capable of, just think of this as a field test."

he turns around, finally looking at all of you. he points at you, nobara, and yuuji. "you three go exorcise the curse inside the building."

you all let out noises of disapproval, not wanting to go into the building.

"i thought only curses could exorcise curses, right? my sister and i don't know any jujutsu yet." yuuji says while you nod along with him.

gojo looks at yuuji then, that same irritating smirk he seems to always wear, "you're practically half curse already. there's cursed energy flowing throughout both of your bodies."

gojo then looks at you this time, continuing on, "though controlling that energy isn't something you can learn overnight, so use this."

he hands yuuji a weapon then, it looks like a large knife with a long handle on the end of it. you can sense that it's surrounded by energy.

you turn to look at gojo then, "but what about me sensei? do i get a cool weapon to go in there with?"

he shakes his head at you and you gasp, "how am i supposed to defend myself? are you trying to kill me?" you can't deny the irritation that fills you up.

"i want you to use your powers."

you feel your jaw go slack, not believing what you're hearing, "sensei, i didn't even know i could do that! i have no idea how to use it, let alone control it, how the hell am i supposed to use them?"

gojo crosses his arms, unphased by the look you're giving him. "you used them that night right?"

you nodded at him, "yeah but-"

he cuts you off, putting his hands on his hips, "then i know you can use them now, you just have to trust yourself."

you gulp and look back at the building, feeling the anxiety consume your body.

nobara scoffs then, making her way toward the building. you and yuuji look at each other, he shrugs and walks after her. you begin to follow.

"one more thing."

you all turn to look at gojo.

he's looking directly at yuuji, "don't let sukuna out. if you use him, you'll get rid of all the curses nearby in a flash, but you'll also drag everyone around into it."

yuuji gives him a smile and a thumbs up, "got it."

nobara lets out an exasperated sigh, "hurry up!"

all three of you then make your way into the abandoned building, nervous about what's waiting for you inside.

---

megumi and gojo sit outside on a bench, just across from the building.

megumi cannot stop thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong. what if they get hurt? what if sukuna finds a way to be let out? what if, what if, what if...

he shakes his head, trying to wash away the thoughts plaguing his brain. he turns to gojo, "i think i'll go, too."

gojo just sits there casually, hands on his knees, staring ahead to where his 3 students just walked into.

"don't push yourself. you're still recovering."

megumi gulps, looking back toward the building. "but someone needs to keep an eye on yuuji, right?"

gojo nods, "true, but the one we're testing is nobara."

megumi's mind flashes to you then. the small smile and thanks you gave him, the giggle you let out at his joke about gojo.

"but what about y/n? you heard her, she doesn't know how to control them yet."

gojo turns to look at him then, smirk adorning his features, "have a little faith in your girlfriend will you? she's got this."

megumi feels his face heat up when gojo says that. he's sure that he's glowing bright red.

"she's not my girlfriend!"

gojo laughs at his student, enjoying the new way he's found to torture the poor boy.

"whatever you say, megumi."

megumi just grumbles to himself and crosses his arms over his chest. he can only hope that this goes smoothly.

---

"what a pain. why do i have to deal with curses after coming all the way to tokyo?"

you and nobara are walking up some stairs with yuuji just a few paces behind. you look at nobara and can see frustration seeping out of her.

"isn't that what you came here for?"

nobara doesn't say anything. she suddenly stops in her tracks, turning to face you and yuuji. "let's split up. i'll start from the top and make my way down. you two start from the bottom."

she turns back toward the stairs, "let's get this over with quick and grab some sushi from ginza."

yuuji continues to look at her, a bit irritated at her request, "hold on a minute, let's take this a bit more seriously."

you walk toward her and grab her upper arm, causing her to face you again. "we shouldn't split up, isn't that the number one rule in horror movies? this is a bad idea."

a scowl then grows on her face and her eyes are furrowed together in anger. she rips her arm away from your hand and turns to you fully.

she walks closer so that she's directly in your face, "i don't wanna hear it from two people who were normies until recently. now get moving." with that, she turns back to the stairs and takes off.

you can feel yourself becoming angry as well, clenching your fists and wanting to take off after her. feeling the need to give her a piece of your mind.

you feel a hand on your shoulder and your body goes stiff. turning your head you see yuuji looking at you with an apologetic smile.

"come on."

you turn back to where nobara once stood and let out a scoff, remembering the interaction.

"bitch." you can't help but mumble out.

yuuji chuckles at you. you two make your way back to the ground floor.

while walking, you hear something coming from above you. you both look up toward the noise, seeing something reaching for the both of you.

without hesitating, yuuji cuts off the appendage and moves you behind him.

turning to look at the source, you see a bug-like curse standing in front of you.

it begins to charge at the both of you then, which causes yuuji to begin running at it.

you can't help but watch as yuuji moves through the air like a professional gymnast. slicing its arms and stomach, then eventually landing the final blow in the head.

it whines out in pain and twitches on the floor. when yuuji pulls the blade out, that's when it begins to decay away in a cloud of purple and black smoke.

yuuji looks up at you with an enthusiastic smile, a twinkle dancing around in his pupils, "sister, did you see that?"

you shake your head and giggle at his antics, "i did brother, you can really move."

he hops up off the ground, dusting off his clothes and makes his way back to you. "come on, let's keep going."

you both continue on, keeping an eye out for any other curses that might be lurking in the shadows.

---

nobara finds herself in a room with a handful of mannequins opposite of her. she's already sensed where the curse is, but she's waiting for it to appear.

she sighs out, her body emanating one thing, boredom.

"you think you're actually hidden there?"

she pulls two nails out of her pack along with her hammer, holding them in front of her.

"if you won't come out, i'll just exorcise you there."

she gets herself into a fighting stance, imbuing the nails with cursed energy. she tosses them and hits them with her hammer, letting them fly directly into the head of one of the mannequins.

the mannequin begins to fall backward, not quite hitting the ground. multiple eyes begin to sprout from its head and lay eyes on nobara.

as soon as it tries to take a step, the head explodes, sending the mannequin into a crumpled heap on the floor.

she drops her head and closes her eyes, proud of what she just accomplished.

she hears something then, looking back in front of her, a piece of wood falls onto the floor. revealing a small boy, curled into himself and shaking with fear.

she shakes her head, feeling sympathy for the child who probably just snuck in for some fun.

she walks toward him, stopping a few feet away. leaning down to his level, she gives him a reassuring smile, "hey, it's all right now. come on out."

he just shakes his head at her, seeming too scared to move.

she stands up straight and turns away from him, closing her eyes once again, "guess it's true that kids don't warm up to beautiful women. i suppose i'll call the twins."

the kid screams out then, "wait! don't leave me here!"

nobara turns around at the sound, seeing the boy reaching for her.

unfortunately, that's not the only thing she sees.

she sees a hand begin to reach for the boy's head from inside the wall, latching itself onto him.

it steps out of the wall, revealing itself.

a curse that, almost, resembles a disgusting cave troll. it dangles the boy in front of itself, waving him around like some toy.

nobara immediately gets ready to fight, but then realizes something.

she could hit the boy.

she sees the curse dig its claws into him, making blood drip from the punctures.

her eyes widen, trying to figure out what she can do. her mind going blank, unsure as to how to solve this. damn it!

the curse cackles at nobara, knowing the difficult position it has put her in. it knows she's angry and it only wants to rile her up more, so she'll make a mistake.

nobara realizes this as she understands what she has to do.

she drops her tools and bag, holding her arms in the air.

"i'm unarmed, let the boy go."

the curse grins maliciously at her, not dropping the boy, nor showing any signs it will do so.

she slumps dejectedly, all fight leaving her body.

"i wish i could have seen saori-chan one last time."

she hears something then, a rumbling noise from the direction of the curse. but that wasn't the curse was it?

a hand punches through the wall, beginning to reach around the open space it created.

"huh, i missed it?"

"good job brother, fantastic aim."

nobara knows those two voices.

the wall then bursts open, revealing none other than yuuji and y/n itadori.

the curse jumps back, boy still in hand, but it looks scared.

yuuji cuts off its arm, catching the boy before he hits the ground. yuuji kicks the curse in the face, using the momentum to bounce back away from it, the boy still in his grasp.

you walk up to stand next to your brother, looking down at the boy with a smile, "you okay?"

the boy nods with a slight blush on his cheeks.

you all look back at the curse, seeing it cradle its now severed arm. it groans in pain and begins to try and disappear through the wall.

"it's getting away!"

you don't even think before you run straight at the curse.

"sister what are you doing!"

you tackle the curse, which unfortunately sends you both flying out the window.

"y/n!"

you hear both yuuji and nobara shout for you, but you're not letting this thing get away. hurting an innocent child? now that's just uncalled for.

you feel that same electrical charge from the night at the school. it surges through you, but you aren't sure how to use it to exorcise this curse.

"you just have to trust yourself."

you remember gojo's words from earlier and close your eyes, honing all of your focus into using your newfound gift.

you open your eyes, looking directly at the curse who is staring back at you with nothing but fear.

you hold your hand up in the air, gathering some of your energy until it forms a ball of white light. you shove your hand into its head as it whimpers in pain.

the light overtakes the curse and yourself, becoming a glowing orb heading straight to the ground.

---

megumi and gojo hear glass breaking above them. a curse flies out of the window and then something, or someone follows with it.

"itadori!" megumi shouts, his eyes wide with panic. he turns to gojo, "we have to exorcise it."

gojo just smiles at him, waving off his worries. "just wait."

megumi looks back up toward the sky. he sees that you and the curse have disappeared. a ball of white light has engulfed you and the curse.

megumi can't help but watch what is happening, fearing the absolute worst. his heart is pounding and he's biting the dry skin off his lips, the anticipation of what might happen absolutely killing him.

the sphere of light crashes into the ground, debris flying all over the place.

megumi put his hands up in front of his face to block any objects coming his way.

he looks back up and sees smoke everywhere. the more he looks, that's when he sees a white glow inside it.

he continues to stare, just waiting for all of the dust to settle. god, he hates waiting.

once everything does clear, he's shocked by what he sees.

the curse lays dead on the ground, beginning to rot away with purple and black hues swirling around it. the head of it completely disintegrated.

then, there's you.

you stand there, breathing heavily. he can't see your beautiful eye color anymore, they have been replaced by a bright glow. your fists, hell, your whole body is covered in it. the color white surrounds you entirely.

there's only one word that megumi can think of to describe the presence you give off, intimidating.

yuuji and nobara have now made their way out of the building. they're out of breath from taking off after you. the small boy sits comfortably on yuuji's back.

"damn, they're all crazy."

megumi looks back at gojo, who wears a proud smile on his face.

he looks back to you and sighs with relief, closing his eyes and rubbing them with his hands.

"what the hell was that?" nobara screams, now standing by megumi and gojo.

you just stand there, you haven't come out of your state yet.

megumi approaches you cautiously, not wanting to startle you.

"it's okay itadori, it's over."

you simply stare back, breathing still ragged and fists still clenched.

megumi makes a move to put his hand on your arm, only trying to calm you. when you suddenly grab it firmly, pulling it away from you. that's when he feels the enormous amount of power from you, sending shockwaves through him like he just put his finger in an electrical socket.

"megumi." he hears gojo say, but he chooses to ignore him.

megumi can't help it, he is constantly drawn to you, like a moth to a flame. he feels this incessant need to protect you.

he feels your grip loosen and makes the move again. this time, successfully landing on your arm.

he rubs up a down softly, "it's done, you can let go."

he feels your power drain away, your eyes turning back to normal and your breathing slow. you unclench your fists and close your eyes briefly.

you open them and see everyone looking at you. you then look at megumi who wears a soothing look on his face. you feel your face warm up, loving the soft expression on him. it suits him, he should do it more.

you grap his hand on your arm and squeeze it lightly, "thank you, fushiguro."

the small smile you send megumi has him screaming internally.

you go to take a step, but feel yourself wobble, feeling unsteady on your feet.

"slowly, itadori."

you snort, looking over at him with a playful gaze, "i have a feeling this won't be the last time you say that."

he chuckles a bit, looking at you with the same gaze, "probably not."

you hear someone clear their throat and look over to see gojo staring at the both of you, that shit eating grin plastered on his lips.

"if you two are done, we have to get this boy home."

you and megumi both realize how close you are to each other, your hand still resting on his. both looking at each other with wide eyes, you jump away, scratching the back of your neck.

"sorry sensei." megumi says, and walks off toward everyone without another glance at you.

you also walk toward them on unsteady feet.

"y/n and i will take the boy home, you all go back and get your rest."

everyone nods and yuuji comes up to you, giving you a hug. he pulls back with a smile and ruffles your hair, "good job sister."

you smile back and thank him. he turns back and all of them begin to take the trek back to the school.

---

you and gojo have dropped the boy off, who thanked you with a wide smile and a hug.

now the two of you walk in silence, enjoying the beautiful day.

"so, when are you and megumi going to get together?"

you stop in your tracks and stare at gojo with wide eyes.

"excuse me?"

gojo stops as well, staring at you with that same fucking smirk, and at this moment you want to smack it off of him.

"i'm not blind you know."

you begin to stutter over your words, unsure of what to say next. your face growing warm in embarrassment.

gojo can't help but laugh at you. a genuine laugh that comes straight from the gut.

once his laughing fit stops, he pats you on the back with an approving smile.

"don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

with that, he begins to walk, continuing on the path to get back to the school.

you can't help but smile to yourself, running after gojo to try and keep up with his long strides.

tags: @kasumitenbaz @ay0nha

[justatalkingface]

The UA Entrance Exam

This was going to be part of a larger post about UA as a whole, but I decided this was probably best to stand alone, because this is more random thought/opinion than a proper critical post. Welcome to what is probably going to be a controversial post: the UA Admissions test isn't bad?

The main argument against it is that it puts those without a combat quirk at a disadvantage, right? And, well, that's true. But... is that wrong?

Here's the thing: the more heroism as a whole is developed in the setting, the more something becomes startling clear, one simple fact that stands above all others.

Heroism is a profession defined by fighting.

You can be a rescue hero, you can spend your time saving people from collapsing building or finding those who are lost, but if you've gotten to the point of being a professional hero? You know how to throw down.

I'm not even talking about UA, here: there's a license exam that everyone has to take, as part of a process of being a hero. Half of it is saving people, yes... but the other half? It's purely about fighting other people. Hell, even part of the saving people portion has combat aspects, since it's focused around, not just saving people, but saving people while under attack.

I'll say it again: if you are a hero, you are a fighter, by definition.

So, what's that have to do with the UA entrance exam? In all honesty, that exam is functionally a simulation of running around a city, beating up random street thugs. It's testing if you can beat people up, one of the most fundamental parts of heroism (deadpan stare).

The follow up point is, what about Quirks that aren't combat focused, but are still useful for heroism? Shinso, for example? If those were actual people, he probably could have beaten them, right? That's unfair!

And, I'll admit, that's right; in the context of that exam, it is unfair, because some people can vomit lava lasers and some can't. Is Brainwash useful? Absolutely. Counterpoint: what is day one Shinso going to do if he meets some guy in an alley with no mouth and a knife?

Die.

Literally, if he didn't run away, all he'd do is die.

Everyone who passed, and quite a few who didn't pass, could take down Wannabe Slenderman, while Shinso would just end up dead in that alley. This is going to sound bad, but life is unfair, and if you're going to go around picking fights with dangerous people and not prepared for that fact, you will pay for it.

Now, let me introduce you to Chad Hagakure.

In the grand scheme of things, while Toru has a useful support power, Shinso's is a lot better than hers, more versatile, more powerful. You can, in the words of Ollivander, do great things with a power like that. While Toru's Quirk gives her some advantages against the robots, it isn't going to beat them for her, either, and the off button idea is fanon with no canon backing.

So how did she get in, with her inferior quirk, when Shinso didn't?

Because Shinso coasted through his life with only his Quirk, and then was helpless when met up with something with the amazing ability to shut up. Everything he did, before Aizawa took him under his wing, revolved around making the other person talk, and absolutely nothing else. Toru, meanwhile, found opponents her invisibility couldn't magically destroy for her, and responded by beating them to death.

You probably think I'm being dramatic or something, but I'm not kidding. You need to stop robots to get points to pass; Izuku is the only person to pass on rescue points only, canonly. She doesn't have a power or tools to let her restrain them like Minoru did, so she had to, had to, break them. She doesn't have laser beams, or fire blasts, or anything to make it easy for her; all Toru had was the ability to ambush things, her muscles, and maybe a rock or a steel plate or something she picked up along the way.

That's all she had... and then she managed to kill her way in the heroism course anyways, past people who probably had Quirks much more compatible with the problem at hand. She went up to robots, probably from behind, and then hit them until they stopped moving.

In other words, Toru went into the Entrance Exam... and then the Doom music kicked in.

At the end of the day, though, I'm saying all these things, and while they're true, I feel like I'm dancing around the fundamental point: being a hero is about more than just a Quirk.

As a setting, MHA is one with a broad set of powers and abilities, by design. It means that there's lots of cool and interesting people to meet, which is the point, but on a practical level, it also means that every Quirk, every Quirk, has something that counters it. For support Quirks especially, there's seemingly always that One Simple Trick to beat them; a pair of thermal goggles, for example, renders Toru Quirkless. If you just don't talk, Brainwash is useless. And when that happens, you can't just say, 'Time out!' and get a new villain; you'll have to fight them anyways.

If you depend on your one special trick and nothing else, one day that will be your downfall.

UA has a lot of questionable decisions in it, about it, around it, but it is good at teaching its students how to beat the living shit out of people; you could even say it specializes in it. It has no illusions about the reality of the job it's preparing them for. And in the same vein, this isn't something that should be a surprise to any applicant; almost every time we see a hero in the media? They've just finished fighting someone. If they're not entering UA with wide open eyes about what they're going to have to do (and probably after signing some liability waivers to boot), then frankly they're idiots.

The Entrance Exam, mostly, tested one simple thing: are you ready to fight someone? Are you ready to walk into that alleyway and beat those thugs into submission? It's easier for people with combat Quirks, yes, because those are Quirks that are good at fighting, but that's not the end all; in another life, if he had worked out before hand, if he was determined to win, even if he was at a disadvantage, Shinso could have walked in, picked up a piece of rebar, and just hit things until he passed.

Like, let's compare Shinso and Bakugou: both of them have a good Quirk, and both of them knew it. (I know fanon and the narrative say otherwise, but Shinso has had nothing but praise from the flashbacks we've seen, with only a few comments that were somewhat negative but still held implicit respect for his Quirk and it's powers. Everyone he talks to says he has a good Quirk. He's happy using his Quirk. He is not the fanon abused little racoon.)

Shinso accepted that as fact and walked into UA without putting any work in, from what we can see (he faced Izuku, who was effectively Quirkless, and the second his Quirk failed he panicked and basiclly flailed more than fought, still only trying to make Izuku talk rather than actually beat him in a fight, even though Izuku was right there, about to beat him in a fight, and prepared to avoid his Quirk) and was smacked down accordingly.

Then we look at Bakugou, and that's the thing with Bakugou: he had an easy road to heroism, and knew it. I've said this somewhere before, but Hori leans on 'Bakugou works hard' as an excuse to not talk about his moral failings, because he does work hard, but not that hard. 'Bakugou working hard', in all honesty, is peak 'Tell not Show', and is repeated so damn often I'm sick of it.

The thing is that the idea of that isn't wrong, just the execution of it. With his muscles, with the way his Quirk is supposed to work, he had to put work into bulking up, staying in shape. He didn't just get his Quirk and say, 'I'm set for life', he fought for it. And while Hori praises him like Rock Lee when we barely see him do shit, the idea of a talented person working hard anyways could have been great. It's something you see in a lot of shonen manga, and is emblematic of heroism itself, and the spirit that UA is supposed to show: you can't just coast into heroism. You need to fight for it, earn it.

...I got a bit off topic there, but the point is the kid didn't just manifest those muscles out of the ether, he has to be training off screen, even if we should be seeing it more on screen.

Bakugou had a good Quirk, but was willing to train himself to achieve his goals.

Toru has a, honestly, medicore Quirk, but still managed to fight her way to her dreams.

Shinso has a good Quirk, but his only strategy when his Quirk failed him was, 'try harder to get them again with my Quirk!'.

Heroism is about power, true, but it's also about attitude, willingness, determination, the ability to perform under pressure and to make good choices and act on them, all the things that got early Izuku through the series before he got Full Cowl, often without using his Quirk at all. Most of that, if not all of it, can be trained over time, true... But if you're not born lucky, and you're not willing or able to work out enough, to think cleverly enough, or to be vicious enough to smash some weak robots, then honestly you're probably not ready for the hero course.

[timaeuslover001]

House Headcanon (AU)

House became a cheerleader in college (canon)

He originally tried out for lacrosse but the coach deemed he didnt have the hunger needed to be on the team and he couldn't lie about that, he didn't, the guy that did lacrosse in college were epreeopping for a professional career alter , not like in high school when he joined there. he did it for fun.

so he opted to try out fir cheer, it offered him the same physicality lacrosse had a few perks to it : because a girl caught his eye and he was motivated to join and luckily she was also in his chemistry class as well, her name Anne Rodsberry a beautiful blonde 5'8 and a great smile but also he could get to watch the games for free, if he can't be on the team he can at least cheer them on.

His athleticsm impressed them so much , they couldn't not say no.

Greg being so shy and soft spoken , and would never just go up to her. so he thought of a way to be around her.

He may have joined for the girl but stayed for the team.

He wasn't expecting to get close to them as he did, in high school he was already surprised at the commaradre with his won teammates and how well he got along with them, but atom full of mostly women he'd never to build bonds with them as well.

he made close friend with six people : Kelly Rawlings, Monica Benning, Kate Sackes, Thomas Carr Rhodes , Jack Parr (ALL OC's)

They adored him as cheer partner he never ,and I mean never ket the touch the ground. even if he had too trip over himself to make sure they dot get hurt. It helped he was string too but he made sure they never got hurt while he was sporting them.

They were able to crack his shell and get passed his shyness over time and foud out wonderful qualities about him in the process.

How would be responsible for warming them up and he made sure it was a good warm up too , one that really made them break a sweat and got their cardio going. They often joked he trained them like olympians but he thought if you an do than why not do it? they appreciated it in the long run and even the girls even practiced with him outside of practice too. Ive the years they even let him choreograph some routines as well, House can dance himself and so they thought why not. it was great.

They filmed their practices and a few parties, lunch, study sessions that needed up doing more talking and laughing than. anything else. and get together while in college and always caught greg shyly smiling into the camera. He had a lot of great emmeories with them.

even though he never got his crush she started dating a Football Player and they stayed together passed college he left with great friends.

They all stayed inconstant post graduation but something began to happen in House he didn’t even see coming, he slowley hurt surly his disaffection with life seemed to caught up with him internally and began affecting his outer life when he began medical school. Slowly incriminate he lost contact with them all, stopped calling, answering calls , birthday wishes ect.

He hasn’t or heard from them since.

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

How I think the Friends cast would act drunk

Squad leader: Canonically he's mentioned he lets loose a lot more when he's had a few drinks, and he's once boasted about how strong he was during a small party in Bar Histamines (overly exaggerated too). I like to imagine he just straight up forgets what social anxiety is. No longer is he bound to the shackles of stressing if a specific behavior he does makes him look weird.

2145: I think he probably has a high tolerance, but if he does drink enough he would probably just sleep. Big nap time for him. His eyes stay open but trust me he is napping. You can't get him up unless you offer him bacteria or he finishes processing the alcohol

IM1235: Canonically she gets a little ditzy and can barely tell friend from foe, you could be scolding her and getting mad at her and she'd still be very happy to talk to you and listen to you. She also passes out but it's a little after she's done being silly.

3033: He has no more filter. He says whatever and goes off about what he's thinking about at that moment. "They overwork us TOO MUCH, I need a holiday right NOW" or he starts rambling about how bacteria tastes bad, or talking about the killer T cells being incompetent and stupid. Usually he will at least keep it to himself but no more, his temper is more explosive than normal.

Dendritic cell: If you let him sew during this period he will probably make the most fucked up looking bacterium you've ever seen, he still thinks he's doing a good job. He's canonically just allowed a naive t cell to activate while he's drunk, so he probably does whatever without considering the consequences.

M cell: M cells probably just in general have a high tolerance. It'd be funny if he absolutely forgot about his depression and just actually started being normal about things. Something unlucky happens to him and he's like "why do I feel like I'm supposed to say something self deprecating right now." He cannot walk in a straight line, constantly bumps into things but never acknowledges the fact that he did, and if he falls over he might just sleep then and there. Right on the floor.

Eosinophil: Probably still has a little anxiety left in her body, gets shaken up by the littlest of things, IM1235 accidentally bumps into her and she jumps. She probably jitters a little, you ask her if she's cold and she does the "Huh?… no I'm not" brain lag.

B cell: He will start flirting with a plant in the corner of the room, when you tell him about it he goes "Well if they are then they gotta be the most gorgeous plant out there." Even in this state he will still insist on taking care of Memory cell, despite him not even being able to locate where exactly he is.

Memory cell: I don't think any part of him changes, he still messes up names (other than B cell) and he still is his old man old self.

NK: She is practicing her sword fighting skills with some other immune cell, she is doing a bad job but she still insists that she needs to or else what if something bad happens??? Who will protect all these innocent cells?? (Other immune cells who aren't out of commission but that will not convince her)

RegT: Solitaire gaming off the charts on her, she's clicking 6cps and will not stop. Probably got a world record solve at some point but was never recorded. I think it'd also be funny if she took a few jabs at HT just for fun, "you're so sloppy" "tuck in your uniform" "you're addicted to sweets"

HT: Emotional rollercoaster on this one. Laughs and cries and goes insane all in the same minute, annoys RegT, calls in some immune cells just because he can. He cries terribly when no one acknowledges him (RegT gotta call in Dendritic cell just to take care of him because she doesn't know how)

Cross: Canonically is a messy and annoying drunk. He either loses his temper very fast or he doesn't even realize when is the appropriate time to be angry. Clings onto squad leader and gets him cups upon cups of alcoholic drinks because he's having too much fun to realize that is rude (and also the fact that squad leader is suffering)

[lavenoon]

Oh right!! I completely forgot! I had refrained from asking to not be tempted to include the answer in the fic (and possibly end up making it like 22k long dfghñklgh), but I am curious! We've stablished how first kisses went in canon, so how do first kisses happen for the boys in Reverse AU?

FDHJSK NO PLEASE THAT'S ALREADY HILARIOUS "I need to know but I couldn't know before or I'd have been even more unhinged" if that isn't a fucking mood oh my god (she says after already posting two ask replies where I didn't even try to resist the enabling)

Okay but! Kisses for the reverse boys! This is a scenario that cannot mirror the main au, so say goodbye to the cruise mission first kisses. They simply aren't close enough soon enough - so while they do get the cruise mission, it happens without romantic realizations from Robin.

And they continue working together, slowly turning into a well oiled team of three, with Robin and Dawn finally getting that smoother (flirtier) dynamic, and Robin and Dusk starting up their banter during their missions!

So for them, more and more I think it'd just have to be something completely mundane. It can't be special, it needs to be a small moment, a normal one, similar to how the reveal had to be triggered by them getting closer but otherwise not being a big special moment (apart from the consequences)!

A realization that creeps up on Y/N, when at some point they notice that they're automatically grabbing things at the grocery store ranging from "Oh Moon said he ran out of twine, let's just grab some more. This one should do just fine, but oh hey look, those glow in the dark stickers look fun too, bet he'd like those!" to "Didn't Sun mention he wants to experiment with that one recipe a little? What was the spice he wanted to add? Let's look at the display and see if any of the names ring a bell."

And Y/N just has to stop for a second and have a crisis in the middle of the grocery store, because when did these boys just become such an integral part of their life? Since when can't they imagine their life without them, not just without their conversations and being friends, but specifically the domestic situation they've found themself in? Coming home to them, staying up with them, getting hazed until they go sleep by them, the little conversations while Sun is cooking or pleading with Moon to order takeout and watch a movie together - and jeez, have they always been that cuddly with those two? Even on missions they now realize - the direct flirting (and flirty banter) being genuine from all sides, because, well, before they could just project and say the boys are probably as serious about it all as Y/N is - but once they realize they have been serious about it?? That obviously translates into realizing that they also have been flirted with for months now. I said they have a crisis in the grocery store, they get a crisis in the grocery store.

But they go back home and process it a little more, enjoying the same moments in a new light, and realizing how safe and secure they feel with this new awareness, too. So they decide that because obviously neither of the boys will make any further steps themselves (if they planned on it, they would have done it by now for sure) they will have to be the one to take that step further. And they do!

This time, it's Moon who gets the first one - well, Dusk is. A mission like any other, easy and successfully completed. They race back, lighthearted and laughing as they chase each other through shortcuts but familiar routes. Dusk wins - shooting them a cocky grin and teasing them about being too slow, maybe even throwing in a flightless bird comment. And Robin just stares at him for a moment before grinning, already knowing they'll get him so good with this. And they just scoff, clearly putting on an act now, and say "Oh yeah, for sure. You just run your mouth - I'll wipe that smug grin off your face soon enough." And Dusk, unafraid of getting close nowadays, jumps on the bait. He leans down, only grinning wider, arms folded behind his back innocently. "Oh yeah?" he asks - "And just how do you plan on doing that?"

So they show him. They slide down their mask easily and then cup his face, barely giving him time to process it all, but the kiss itself is gentle. He melts into it after just a second, his hands softly settling on them, too - one on their face, and one on their hip, pulling them even closer. Even pulling away they don't go far - mere inches (barely plural) between them. Dusk still surprised - too close to believing this is the first dream he's ever had, and he needs it to be real so badly. Asks them why - not that he minds, but after all this time? They explain they've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and may have realized they've been wanting to do this for a long time. Sorry it took them that long, they're just sooo slow compared to him. He starts laughing then, pulling them in again more kissing and nuzzles, and they gladly laugh with him

... Robin does insist that he "Don't tell Sun. I need to get this bastard, and I have a plan." Dusk is intrigued, and agrees not to gloat until after Sun got his kiss, too, though he pouts a little when they don't tell him how they want to do it. Can't have him too giddy during the next switch though, sorry!

Y/N has spent the past few days not just pondering, but also preparing for the perfect revenge first kiss scenario for Sun. Planning for Moon left them just a bit stumped, but oh well, the perfect sweet opportunity still arose, and sped everything along <3

Sun, however, they decide to just obliterate because maybe a tiny part of them is still mad about the ankle grabbing and the fact that they have been thinking of his sharp smile and claws and being cornered a little more than is entirely normal. So they bought a little something! And the next time he cooks for them, they take up their perch on a free spot of the kitchen counter. That much is normal - they both enjoy being close now, and they chatter away in these moments, sometimes with Y/N even talking their way into helping.

Not today though. They sit there innocently, a loosely wrapped package on their lap, that of course Sun can't help but point out. They smile, and say they got a little gift for him - but he should take off the apron first (: Sun happily obliges, just as happily closes his eyes and leans down when they ask him to. He's just happy that they got something for him, preening under the knowledge that they care (and got him something that is very much relevant to his interest of minimizing the risk to his clothes during cooking, because obviously it's another apron). Maybe also very much enjoying how close they get, carefully tying the new apron in place. He's just about to ask if he can open his eyes again when they fly open instead, because oops, he's being kissed right now! Accidentally breaks the kiss even (the pang of regret is only drowned out by sheer surprise at the kiss happening at all), and as he struggles with words to somehow ask "Why?" without making them think he doesn't want this, they just grin and tilt their head a little. They know him - they know what he's trying to say.

"Sorry not sorry, I was just following the instructions."

Sun follows their gaze, now finally taking in the plain red apron sporting the classic "Kiss the Cook" line. This close to blue screening fr. It takes him a moment to process all of that - because obviously this was planned, but how long? Did he miss other advances? Surely not, right? Since when is Y/N aware? Since when have they understood the intention behind his flirting? And he's just becoming more and more aware of the smug energy radiating off of them, and pushes through the last bits of the questioning to reply in kind.

Because Y/N is still so conveniently sitting on the counter, now flanked by an arm on each side as he leans in close, smile familiar and mischievous even without the sharp teeth. Nowhere to go - they kind of shot themself in the foot there. And, innocently, absolutely not matching the tone of their current positions, he points out that the instructions are rather unclear, nowhere does it say kiss the cook once!

Oh yeah? What does he think the instructions should be then? And he hums thoughtfully, squinting happily as they mirror his grin, playing along with his little act (and covering up the fluster of being caged in).

"Maybe it's a continuous instruction!"

"That can be arranged."

And so they do close the distance again, and (after a fraction of a second where he's surprised again by their boldness, because he didn't think he'd get this far) his hands immediately shoot up to cradle their face, pressing as close as he can. There is no way that they stop after just one more. Even once Sun does (begrudgingly) start actually cooking - maybe reminded of the original plan for the late afternoon by the grumbling of Y/N's stomach - he turns around to them demanding his "payment" very, very often, and that apron becomes his favorite very quickly <3

[iasmelaion]

as I get ever closer to finishing the campal fic which is taking me too long because frequent breaks for Having Emotions about campal, i find i need some motivation to spur myself on via my tried and true carrot and stick method of fic writing, but the problem is none of my other wips are the specific carrot i want right now. so instead i've been thinking of the fic idea/vibe I've been rotating in my head for literal weeks now, which consists of the following:

at first, I simply wanted to write something dumb about Bucky's dumb hair, because I am as always feeling the equivalent of cute aggression about sebstan's stupid beautiful hair, and all the photos from Cannes did NOT help. for this idea, i had: one (1) joke about bucky being his own inadvertent hair care product ad campaign (something something 'because you're worth it,' i was gonna figure out the punchline later), and one (1) barebones scene where steve says "actually, i used you as a model for a pomade ad i was hired to illustrate, so you've kind of already been a hair model" and i thought "hmm what if this scene was not funny but was instead fraught with sexual and emotional tension"

anyway, this didn't pan out, because i kept rotating it in my head and shaking it all "is this anything??? is this anything? like, is there a character arc here, some development--" and the answer was just more lustenvyrage re sebstan's hair. so this idea was set aside.

next i remembered that i've always been interested in writing SOMETHING about the way Steve and Bucky fight with each other with frankly preternatural seamlessness in CACW. I've referenced this in a couple fics, but I kind of want to write a fic that's ABOUT it, y'know?? like, the way their bodies are legible to each other even after so many changes. the way they know each other's bodies so well, the way their bodies talk to each other, in contrast to the ways they themselves don't actually manage to talk about the important shit. obvsly in a fic, this would go fighting together > fucking.

i am also thinking about this vis-a-vis "stop writing characters who talk like they're trying to get a good grade in therapy". like. maybe i don't want them to TALK. maybe i want them to be insane weirdos about it. maybe they should sublimate all their emotions into fucking and weird OTT devoted gestures.

however, i am not actually interested in writing post-cacw pre-infinity war fic. so i did a lot of rotating in my head re canon setting, AU-ness, etc.

my other desire here is to, for the love of god, write something that isn't CUTE. listen, I know my fic writing lane. I appreciate all comments. I in fact have a great deal of fun writing things that are sweet and cute and hopefully also poignant and funny. but sometimes a girl gets real tired of having most things she writes classified as cute.

here is the additional thought i had today re this hypothetical fic: haunted house. not a literal haunted house, but a metaphorical one. (but also an actual house that is not actually haunted) (the metaphor is the house = the relationship, ofc) the house is being haunted by grief, the house is being haunted by regret, the house is being haunted by guilt.

so now i am here trying to fit all these disparate parts together into something coherent. like, if i write this, what is the resolution. what is the arc. i may not want to write something cute but i am still committed to reasonably happy endings. so the house is unhaunted? the house is still haunted but they live with the ghosts? they move to a new house???? (not sure how this works with the metaphor?? wait. maybe. hmm.) could this fic please god be under 10k????

anyway now i can't let it go until i solve it and i have written this whole thing in an attempt to figure it out/exorcise the idea. annoying.

this, fyi, is how my fic planning process goes when I can't/don't start with either: a) a punchline, b) a wouldn't-it-be-funny-if, or c) an actual trope or prompt. so great. so efficient and useful and fun ;___;

[mangacat201]

EDDIE'S POST

(second attempt because I lost the 1st draft to my own stupidity and the trust in tumblr that saving drafts actually meant SAVING them. I'll try and recreate my thoughts but.. ah well.)

Ok ok ok, but now i have to go back to that thought i just had about eddie and dating.

Eddie needs to learn.

He's objectively bad at this, it's been said in canon multiple times (like... loudly... by Buck... and Christopher, the people who are his closest family), he is bad at ROMANTIC relationships.

He learned how to be a dad by showing up, being overwhelmed, being bad at it, failing his family over and over, but never to stop trying. And ultimately he succeeded at being a GOOD dad that way.

He learned how to be an adult by showing up to it, being bad at it, failing spectacularly in some places, but putting in the work to claw himself together when he hit the breaking point in 5B. And he's still in the process, but he's always been a good HUMAN along the way.

He never learned how to be a romantic partner, because there's so much that was on his plate when he should have been learning to do that and even though he was trying as well, has been trying, it's never quite shaken out. Something had to give.

He's been slowly spiralling down since the shooting... since Shannon died... since she left him... since the other shooting... since he grew up corsetted into a certain expectation of manhood... you get the drift. And only when he hit rock bottom in Fear-o-Phobia, which broke open all those wounds big time, could he start building himself back up again. And looking at him now, wow, what a journey it's been.

We see him now in a place where he's moving past his grief, for the important people in his life that he lost, but also for the boy, the young man, he never got to be.

He misses Shannon, but he's good, sitting with the memory of her. He reaches out to his parents past the generational trauma, actively trying to develop those relationships. And I've read a couple of reviews now lamenting the lack of personal season-arc storylines (other than Buck), but tbh I feel like for Eddie, his arc lies in what we see not happening instead of what we do see.

I can't recall a single instance in this whole season where he wasn't utterly confident in his choices as a parent. There was domestic homework and family outings and first crushes and yes, hard conversations, but even those honest and healthy and...

Eddie's always been a good dad, but now he KNOWS it.

He's also always been confident in his abilities as a first responder, sure in his competence and his place in the 118, but after setting himself right, after coming back, in this season there's a feel to him that it was the right decision to return, but he's also more open, more playful in a lighthearted, cheeky way (Cursed, anyone?) and ready the share the wisdom of his journey with people who haven't quite made it as far yet if and when they need it (advising Felisa on her future, holding off on telling Buck his opinion on the donor stuff, letting him come as needed). It just feels like he spend the season coming into his own, as a father, as a son, as a steady part of the firefam and it's been delightful to watch him go.

The only thing he hasn't made any progress on, and his single greatest insecurity in my book is how to be a good romantic partner. He doesn't trust himself with romantic relationships and given his track record, that's unsurprising. We saw this season, just how fast had to mature, just how many milestones he blew past without touching them in that regard and so it's entirely logical that his call setting up the date with Marisol was like the 30-something equivalent of a note being passed under the desk saying "Do you like me? Cross Yes? No?" and he was all but dancing around the room like a teenager (which was very cute, ngl). What he did though was take an active approach, put himself out there, dipped his toes in unfamiliar waters.

And Marisol? She read the same way, a little awkward, a little off colour, maybe equally unpractised, but brave enough to try.

And she likes to fix houses. Turns them from four empty walls into homes, she's good at it, too, but once she's finished a project, it's kinda implied that she moves on to the next (fixing her brother's house after her own).

Maybe getting to know her, getting to date her, finding out what it's like to go into a relationship with no expectation but to enjoy each other's company, to learn yourself as a person like that, is exactly what Eddie HAS been looking for, what he needs for now. Not as necessarily the be all and end all of things, but as the last piece of the puzzle on his healing journey to be ready to reach for the thing that he actually wants, that he's actually built over a long long time and that he wants to be good for. To be a whole as person ready to be there for his romantic partner to lean on when they need it (the way he promised Buck to have his back literally a day into their knowing each other and a hot minute into their friendship, but we later learned Shannon had accused him of not doing, which was kinda true? But also the single most devastating thing she could have said to him in that moment? Cause he was trying so hard, but going the wrong way, for them).

And he's going to need to be ready for when Buck hits that rock bottom (which we know will happen, that boy is held together by spit and papermache plastered over a dozen traumas in a trenchcoat, yo), whether with romantic implications or without, and complete his circle.

Idek. Or maybe I'm just blasting hot air out of my overtaxed brain coils.

Anyway, to be continued in Buck's Post (if I can get my two braincells to rub together and actually note down my thoughts) which I will attempt to link back here once it exists.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Bruh I can imagine Roxy fixed after Freddy just lets Greg shatter her then getting the others shattered too bc he never said anything, so even more bitter and angry at him and she turns Chica and Monty against Freddy too because "it's all his fault" so he gets even further ocstracized. Maybe he feels that Bonnie would hate him too if he was present to witness all this.

Until one night he sadly reflects on things; He's alone and unwanted in his own damn 'house', and on a side he has all his friends who hate him now, and on the other he has Gregory who was only trying to survive and shouldn't be held accountable, heck maybe the kid does feel bad now with the repercussions.

But at least Gregory doesn't hate him.

So next day comes and everybody finds out that Freddy's gone. He left the plex with Gregory (maybe on a stolen van like that one ending.) He's fucked up enough, so he won't let himself fuck up Gregory too and leaves with the kid to try taking care of him.

Well the others clearly hated him and didn't want him around them so he's doing them a favor by disappearing. Right?

Maybe they think so. Until the absence of the main star and mascot of this place starts reflecting on the profits and slowly people start stopping to come by because they can't see Freddy. And the dropping profits affects their life style until they realize: They actually need Freddy.

You really Chica and Monty are gonna turn on him that quick? Buddy, Chica is the only one that we know for absolute certain that cares about Freddy in canon. Those three have been friends probably for longer than Roxy has been alive. You gotta give 'em some credit here

Think about it. While Freddy is here and after they found out what he did, they feel so betrayed and so hurt that he would ever allow something like that to happen to any of them. While Roxy is losing her shit with him, Monty pulls her back because that's still his friend and nothing is making sense anymore. Chica is working things out in her head once Roxy has been dragged out, she asks Freddy if it's true. Did he really let them all get hurt like that? Is this really his fault?

She and Monty don't know what to do now. Roxy is angry, yeah but she's not numb to the fact her friends are hurting. She, Sunny, Moon, DJ, the Minis and maybe Vanessa depending on your route are sticking by them, trying to support them and help them through this. Freddy is wisely staying away, not just for their sake, but because he has a feeling of he does any more damage, there might not be anyone atound to stop Roxy from ripping him to shreds and he can't beat her in a fight.

But here's the thing, they don't hate him. Monty for a while does, but Chica could never. She's trying to understand but she knows she's not ready to hear anything he has to say in his defence. They're both content to keep their distance, at least until its more processed than it is now.

And Sunny and DJ? If they're friends with Freddy, they would have tried talking to him. They're both big believers in getting all the facts and about trying to see every side of the story. Moon is too but he's focusing on making sure everyone is still taking care of themselves.

If Freddy leaves to prevent himself from hurting anyone else, if he leaves with Gregory... Then he's just doubling down on that initial decision to allow them to get hurt, except now everyone is involved. He would be abandoning all of his friends and leaving Roxy, the only one that was never his friend in the first place, to pick up the pieces. While everyone grieves and deals with the loss of their friend, Roxy swears that if she ever sees him again, she'll fucking kill him for this.

Him leaving may be for the best in his head, but it's still hurting them. He's written off any chance of apologies, of coming to an understanding and any chance of making things right. It would have been harder to stay, but in making it 'easier' he has made everything so much worse.

He's just not around to see it this time.

[firefurious]

in relation to what we were just talking about , but . how does grace cope with all the bullshit that happens to her in the week the game takes place in ? can she sleep ? does she cry or have any sort of breakdown privately ? or does she sort of just . not let herself stop and think about the trial ( yet at the same time be motivated by it ) and all these petty and spiteful fucks getting in her way ?

for the most part, grace is just pushing through and not letting herself stop. i think she knows there's literally no time for it; she can't give herself the luxury to process everything that's happening to her because each moment wasted on that is a moment less to figure out what happened and prove her innocence.

which means she gets terribly stressed out whenever whoever is helping her tells her to just wait. not only it's time she feels she could be using to act, waiting is when everything threatens to catch up to her and she can't stop. she doesn't wanna risk not being able to pick herself up again.

she sleeps very little, and mostly only because the stress and exhaustion of everything happening in such a short time just knocks her out eventually (i know apollo wanted her to rest but consider: she can't relax). i feel for the most part grace is either acting or considering what to do next. i could say preparing but honestly people keep her in the dark about what she's supposed to do next so often that the most she can prepare is like. preparing herself to face anything jsdnfakjsnd

and so she does! going to a club and facing down a goddess in a song battle? sure. going to the reliquary to find the minotaur? okay. going to a party no one wants to tell her anything about and adapting as she learns? will do. there's no other choice. so she just faces whatever bullshit people throw at her the best she can (as she says in my favorite reply to athena after it's determined there will be a trial, and the one reply i'd keep as canon for my blog: okay, it's unfair but it is what it is. she'll do her best. it's all she can do).

i think the only breakdown she has is very visible and it happens when freddie dies. it's also the one moment i feel she'd falter because to her, her life isn't worth more than freddie's. there's this dialogue option where she says 'it should've been me' that i feel is very fitting with how she'd feel about it. and at least with apollo, his reply ends with something like 'freddie gave you a chance' — that honestly is something i feel would lead her to keep pushing through. freddie died to give her a chance. she won't squander that opportunity, no matter how much she wishes things had been different. it's the least she can do when it's what freddie would've wanted her to do.

other than that, no, she never stops to cry or despair or breakdown even in private. all her energy is dedicated to keep going, no matter what happens. people around her might forget her life is on the line, but she doesn't. they might act like there is time, but she can't, she knows there isn't. it's definitely not stopping to think about it while keeping it as a motivator; a very serious threat that keeps her going but that she won't examine too closely so she won't breakdown.

after the trial, it'd probably take days for the sense of impending danger and the adrenaline and anxiety of being Constantly dealing with something to finally fade. and when it did... well.. that's when i think she'd really start to process it. to cry and feel the weight of it full force and be happy she's alive and be angry she had to go through all that and be devastated about freddie's loss. even then, i'd consider everything that happened pretty traumatic, from calliope dying in her arms to being sentenced to death to having a week to prove her innocence and everything that happens there. it's not like she'd get over it fast. it wouldn't stop haunting her soon after it was done. she can't just forget about it.

she'd definitely be on guard and have trouble sleeping, and i think the restlessness also lingers. i think her keeping herself so busy after the trial is also a means to cope; still not letting herself stop for too long or think too hard about what happened. hoping given time it'll be distant enough she won't have trouble with it anymore.

[leliwardens]

hiiii @helloteeceeblog thank you for asking! :> i'm tossing this as a reblog bc i got a little rambling for replies.

but yes! with my hc adaia's a scapegoat for "letting" not one, but TWO orlesian spies (leliana and sketch) and another convicted criminal (silas) "escape". given she's canonly a "troublemaker" and simply is an elf, it seems rather easy to throw her under the bus and blame her for the whole prison break, even spin it as adaia is also a spy/traitor. per leliana in the dlc itself says the punishment for treason is execution by hanging, while that is orlais she's talking about i can't imagine ferelden doing anything different.

so yeah! some delicious pretty canon compliant (ignoring the dlc's retcons dlskfdsf) leliana/tabris angst i offer for the masses. feel free to use if you like it @ anyone reading! o/

for my further fanon/loredump with this hc i'll toss under a cut

my tabris's understanding of what happened is some "orlesian shem bitch" got her mother killed for a crime she didn't commit. her mother was a night elf! she fought to free ferelden! even if her own home country was orlais! she was a hero!

for her, it's easier to have someone to blame rather than accepting anything else, easier to resent and fell anger towards because there's nothing else she can do. even if that someone is a nameless, faceless person.

(adaia did still try to instill the kindness of that person before she was taken away to be executed days after her escape, even if adaia herself was aware she was kind of doomed by said person because it was important her daughter believed in something good came from it.)

neither my tabris nor leliana clock the connection during their (early) travels, my tabris never mentions adaia's name when talking about her and sharing stories and leliana simply doesn't put adaia as important during that night + she saw her briefly so it wasn't like she'd see a family resemblance or anything and wouldn't even assume as much.

much later post-unrest quest but before other quests happen, during a nice tabris family dinner while my tab is trying to get her family to like leliana "as a friend" first before relationship reveal since there's a whole slew of Feelings about that, leliana puts it together when she finally hears her name (throwing further in fanon adaia introduces herself and invites leliana to come by if she ever was in denerim again for a nice meal as a thank you for the help, which leliana doesn't even answer her) and knows enough about how adaia died to make it all click. leliana is horrified because well, she's caused her beloved and family so much misery! she doesn't reveal it there, but she does much later to my tabris.

there's Other build up to this moment within my fanon, like i swap the order of unrest in the alienage and rescue the queen so my tabris is running on everything that happened during unrest + unresolved trauma from the wedding + further unresolved trauma from just...the events of the game itself + years held resentment of the "orlesian shem bitch" + this coming from leliana, the person she's in love with...it doesn't end very well. kind of takes all of that out on leliana, berating her and telling her to leave, or she will kill her. not good for anyone! leliana feeling immensely guilty about it all, does leave. (though resolves to try and talk it out later maybe when alivah's had time to calm down and process, if not she will truly leave)

then rescue the queen happens with just my tabris and zevran because ~realism~ for sneaking in and we have to have captured! with the added fanon of getting tortured and a parallel escape/rescue from being executed later, they do have a chance to sit down and talk.

alivah speculates because that's all she can do with adaia being gone, is she knew she was dead the moment leliana had opened the cell door, no matter what. she does wonder if that's why she didn't try to kill or stop leliana because she was capable of it, and she would of known what would of happened if leliana did break out. or maybe she didn't know at all and just expected to lay low til it was all over. or maybe she saw the state leliana was in with her friends and didn't want to add to the misery of the world by killing her out of kindness, despite knowing her fate would be. or maybe she was always doomed to die no matter what, being weeks in a torture dungeon likely meant never seeing the outside again.

alivah concludes, even with leliana admitting she didn't really go out of her way to save adaia, that no matter adaia's reasoning or leliana's actions, leliana still gave her mom a chance to come home even if it was to say goodbye and adaia tried to tell her of the good of humans, that one was a light in a dark place despite he own suffering. no one is really to blame and everyone was truly a victim of circumstance beyond their control. then they get back together yayyyy.

i have to remind myself leliana unintentionally getting adaia killed is completely fanon i made up and not canon in the slightest

but it should be

[real-jane]

everything, everything

[steve rogers x female reader]

summary: steve and his partner are undercover on assignment, hiding out as husband and wife. the line between reality and fiction is too thin, and steve can't take much more.

warnings: steve is v dumb, pining/longing/etc, smut, canon level violence, smut, and also some smut is in it.

a/n: thank you to @sanguineterrain for the original prompt: "How about a Steve x reader who have to go undercover as a married couple and oh NO, they're pining for each other and don't know it! Whatever shall they do?! 😳😏"

enjoy!

--

He’s too stunned to move when the doorbell rings, so she slips between Steve and the counter with pink-stung lips and hastens to answer it. All the air in the room rushes out with her.

She’s not supposed to kiss me when nobody is around to see her do it.

Three weeks. It’s only been three agonizing weeks. When did the fiction bleed into reality? When did his hands start aching to reach for her? 

‘You get along so well already,’ Bucky had said, ‘it will be nice to be undercover with someone who doesn’t get on your nerves.’ Except… Steve has never had less clarity in his entire life, especially not now, after she kissed the daylights out of him.

The smoke detector is his only saving grace. The pancakes he got up early to make for breakfast are charred beyond recognition, and he throws open the window to let out the smoke… and whatever hot air is keeping his brain from actually processing.

“Everything okay, baby?” she calls from the front room. Steve clenches his jaw.

“Wouldn’t you know it–I burned breakfast,” he replies, in as chipper a tone as he can manage.

“That’s why my husband doesn’t go anywhere near the kitchen. I’m surprised you let him try, Betsy.” Ugh. Sharon. Her husband is on a permanent business trip to live with his other family, a fact that SHIELD had uncovered in the process of vetting the neighborhood. Wayne Carter is also a very good cook. Sharon Carter puts on a haughty face for a woman who hasn’t seen her husband in nine months. Betsy… the alias his partner wears like the Southern Belle she most certainly isn't… she hates Sharon, but she’s a good actress.

“Oh, Steve’s a wonderful cook! But I was distracting him.” 

His ‘wife’s’ little giggle is enough to make Steve snap the spatula in half. He stares at the bisected plastic in shock.

“Bex, what do you say I take you out for breakfast?” Steve rubs his jaw and gives up on the pan, which is entirely unsalvageable. “Mimosas and crepes, yeah?”

“Steven Rogers, you’re gonna spoil me rotten.”

“Impossible.” 

Steve can’t stop the panic rising in his chest. It isn’t supposed to be like this. She’s a fantastic agent, and that’s all. God–he wants to kiss her until she can’t pretend anymore. He needs to have the upper hand, to retain just one ounce of professionalism as Captain fucking America. People know who he is. He’s on assignment. They aren’t married for real. 

And yet.

Realization washes over him and he leans against the counter in despair. 

Every evening, when she bids him ‘goodnight’, he hopes that she skips past the first bedroom and finds her way to his. Cooking for her? His favorite part of every day. He’s googled so many recipes that the app suggests fancy breakfast food. He wears that one blue shirt as often as he can because she smiled the first time he did.

Coming ‘home’ is his only source of comfort, because she is always standing on the porch… waiting. Sometimes a neighbor is talking with her; she’s so kind that it has been easy ingratiating themselves into the neighborhood. Nine times out of ten, she’s got a glass of lemonade in hand, slick with condensation, waiting for him. It’s the weekends that are most torturous, when he has no reason to be out of her presence. Like this particular Saturday morning.

It’s very easy to forget why they’re there. They’re so close to uncovering the ring–she fills him in on the dirt she’s dug up while playing cards, or gardening, or just gossiping with the ladies each day. The women on this street tell her things that he’s struggled to weasel out of hardened criminals. Steve is fairly certain he’s going to burst into flames before they succeed in this assignment. He’s ashamed of himself. She doesn’t deserve some sicko fixating on her, especially not her partner. He’s a public figure, for Christ’s sake! He’s better than this.

Her hand presses against the small of his back. Steve starts and wheels on her. She bites back a smile at the sight of him, and raises a hand to his cheek. 

“You look like you’ve been sweeping the chimney,” she laughs.

He steps away, out of her grasp. “I’ll just get cleaned up, if you wanna go.”

“Oh. You really wanna go out for breakfast?” The surprise in her voice stabs him square in the chest.

“Why not?” he shrugs. “I destroyed the good pan anyway.”

“Are you okay?”

No. Absolutely not, under no circumstances. “What did Sharon want?” He still hasn’t looked her in the eye.

“She went through Zemo’s garbage,” she says, as if she’s impressed by Sharon’s gall. “She found like twenty packs of cold medicine.”

His head snaps up. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. She’s got the bags in her garage, she texted me a picture, too. Look.” She holds up her cell phone and sure enough, a black trash bag filled with boxes of off-brand medicine fills the screen. “This is what we’ve been waiting for, Steve.”

“Oh my god…” he can’t help but laugh in astonishment. “This is reason enough for a warrant.”

“I already sent Fury the photo. Can you believe it?”

He wants so badly to pull her into his arms and hold on for dear life. Because if they’ve truly uncovered the lynch pin of the whole organization, then their days playing house are numbered. Worse than loving her is the thought of no longer getting to pretend, and hang all his hopes on precious public displays of affection. You two look so in love, one of the neighbors had said during their welcome block party. Steve had his arm wrapped around her shoulders then, because being the facsimile of a married couple was still too new to know how to comfortably interact in a way that seemed real. She lets herself be kissed by him with a sweet smile on her face, now. Her fingers always entwine with his, especially when they’re over at someone else’s house. 

For one brief second, Steve considers how easy it would be to steal the bags from Sharon’s garage and destroy the evidence… but what would his partner think of him if she found out what he had done? Maybe that was the best way to push away these embarrassing feelings–push her away. Make them strangers, again.

“Steve–hey!” She snaps in front of his face. “What’s wrong with you?”

He shakes his head, but the heat which floods his cheeks is mortifying. “I slept weird. Not fully awake yet.”

She frowns. “Why don’t you go lay down? I’ll order breakfast in, and we can wait for Fury’s directive.”

“I don’t need to lay down,” he says quickly. “I’m fine.”

“You keep zoning out–”

“I said I’m fine, so I’m fine.”

“...why are you being like this?” She crosses her arms, leaning against the counter. “You’re pissy.”

“Can you just leave it alone?” he sighs.

“We’re in deep cover and you want me to ignore it? I’m gonna nag you until you communicate, Rogers–”

“You’re not entitled to every little thought in my head, alright?” Steve throws his hands up in the air. “This is a sham marriage, remember? Stop pushing me and accept that I don’t want to talk, I’m fine.”

She opens her mouth to press the matter, but thinks better of it. She looks away and nods, but she breathes in raggedly. “Well fuck me, I guess. Fuck my feelings. Crepes?” 

Steve’s heart plummets through the tile floor as she turns away to leave the kitchen. He lunges before he can stop himself and grasps her wrist, staying her exit. Words clog his throat. She waits with one eyebrow raised, but when he can’t make the apology come, she rips her hand from his. Steve is left with the horrible feeling that he has ruined everything good between them… the real rapport they’ve built sharing an assignment, and the fake one which allows her to touch him freely where anyone can see.

And kiss him where they can’t.

He waits for her on the front porch in blue, having scrubbed the pancake ash from his face. She emerges from the house in a sundress. The light pink one which always robs him of sanity. For a moment her face is stony, but then her expression lightens to exuberance and she waves–beyond Steve, to the passing neighbor on the sidewalk.

“Hi Joe!”

“Hiya, Rogerses! Where ya off to on this fine morning?” The old man braces himself on their little gate.

Five soft fingers curl around Steve’s elbow and he remembers that he’s supposed to be helplessly in love with this woman. Well… no acting required, he thinks with a wince. He covers her hand with his.

“Somebody destroyed breakfast,” Steve says, pointing his thumb at himself, “so he’s gonna treat his wife to some French cuisine.”

“Good on you, boy. Betsy deserves the best.”

“That she does,” Steve says, a hair too earnestly.

“Talking about me like I’m not even here!” She giggles. “Joe, do you still need Steve’s help moving that dresser?”

Steve tightens his hand over hers. They’ve talked time and again about how Joe is capable of stealing one’s entire day, and how frustrating it is when he’s trying to keep tabs on Joe’s neighbor to have a two-hour conversation about hydrangeas–

“If he’s offering!” Joe smiles expectantly at Steve, who bobs his head.

“I could do that for ya. How’s this afternoon?”

“You know where to find me!” Joe salutes and totters back down the street towards his small bungalow. 

Once they are seated inside Steve’s car, shielded by darkly tinted windows, he dares to study her. She ignores him, typing away on her phone. “What was that?” he asks lowly.

“You’ve been trying to find a reason to case his house,” she says, not looking up. “I got you an in.”

He clears his throat. “Right. Good idea.”

“You’re not the only influential Rogers in the neighborhood.”

Steve sighs. “‘M sorry–”

“It’s forgotten.” Her phone rings in her hand and she answers immediately. “Hello? No, unsubstantiated for now but Steve is going into Joe O’Leary’s later today while I pop over to Sharon’s. No, he’s just the only house we haven’t found a reason to go inside. It was Steve’s idea, actually.”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. It absolutely was not, and if he’s honest with himself, he can’t quite figure out which part of this assignment he’s actually contributed to. She has all of the good ideas, she thinks of things he never would’ve dreamt of. 

“--Yeah. Zemo is hunting this weekend, apparently. We won’t. Nick–that was one time!” she huffs. “I have the scar. We won’t go to his house until you’ve got the warrant. Why does every man around me insist on being so damn stubborn? No–god, I forget you have us triangulated at all times. We’re headed out for breakfast. I burned the pancakes, so…” She glances at Steve and shakes her head. “No, I copy. We’ll stay put. I’ll tell him.”

She hangs up and her head falls back against the seat. “He wants us to stay in place, and wait until he gives the okay to check out Joe and Sharon’s.”

“We already told both of them we’re going out… won’t that look suspicious?”

“I dunno… drive to the gas station. I’ll buy you some shitty coffee. At least our car will have left the driveway.”

“I’m buyin’,” Steve says, starting the car. “Last time I checked, you’re not the one who charred the pancakes.”

“It was still my fault.”

“You can buy me a moon pie, for my trouble.”

“I’ll buy you a whole box.” He can’t help the way his mouth turns up at one side, and when he looks at her, she’s smiling sadly. “I don’t like it when we’re at odds.”

Steve shakes his head. “No.”

“Partners?” She holds out her hand, but before he takes it…

“Why’d you do it?” His voice is soft, pleading. She shrugs.

“I wanted to. Don’t you ever do things, just because you want to?”

“Um. No, I don’t have that luxury.”

“I forgot who I’m talking to.” Her chin dips bashfully. “Just forget it happened, okay? We kiss in front of other people all the time, it’s a habit.”

“...which you wanted to do.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t overanalyzed it. Like you are doing right now.” She wiggles her fingers and Steve laces his in. “Partners. Do you wanna tell me what was going on with you?”

“Well… I suppose I was thinking about all this being done. It’s, uh. Hard to tell sometimes what’s part of the cover, and–”

“What’s real,” she finishes. “Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle. We don’t have to answer that today.”

“I like holding your hand,” he admits. “I–shit, sweetheart, I-I’m sorry I’ve been so distracted.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Yeah. But I don’t have enough caffeine in me for that conversation,” he says, squeezing her hand.

“You can do it back, if you want. You keep looking at my lips. It’s okay if you want to, Steve.”

“I don’t want to ruin it,” he murmurs.

“Only way to do that is to shut me out.”

He studies her neatly manicured nails. “I want to. So bad.”

“But?”

“I don’t know. Can’t think straight as it is. What’s it gonna do to me–”

“Hush.” She holds their clasped hands to her lips. “It’s okay.”

“No–it isn’t.” He squeezes. “It’s unprofessional.”

“If you think I haven’t spent the last three weeks relishing the fact that I get to spend every evening watching trash tv with you, staring at your ass, and listening to you laugh… fuck professional, Steve. I didn’t mean for it to happen, okay? You caught me off guard with your sweetness. I knew I was in trouble the first time you kissed me.”

“But this is gonna end…”

“It doesn’t have to. I–” She stops to cup his cheek and brush her thumb over his jaw in reassurance. “I don’t wanna go a single day without kissing you. I don’t care if it started because we’re pretending.”

“It’s never been pretend for me,” he breathes. 

She moves first, because she knows that he can’t do it without real permission, where there’s no question why it’s happening. He moans against her mouth; it’s always felt like his lips were meant for hers, but with nobody watching… It's a gift. She is precious to him. He cradles her face to say as much, without putting voice to it. Kissing her this way strips him of all ceremony. He’s just a city boy with a crush on a beautiful girl, who kisses like a dream. It’s freeing. If anyone saw them making out in the driveway, what would it give away? Nothing which doesn’t show on his face every time he looks at her. Because Steve can’t pretend like she isn’t the center of his world. Not when he has permission to kiss her in private.

His tenuous control snaps.

She keens as his lips traverse her jaw to nip at the tender skin below her ear. “Been holding out on me, Rogers.” He sucks a mark, blooming a ruddy bruise on her throat. Then, he lavs that spot, pulling more heavenly sounds from her lips. “Fuck.”

“I think about that, too,” he whispers against her skin. “But I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

“We wouldn’t be the first partners to do it.”

“Remember when we caught Bucky and Nat after Bulgaria?” Steve eases the strap of her dress off the curve of her shoulder.

“God,” she sighs, tugging on his hair so he’ll find her mouth again. She catches his bottom lip. “You wouldn’t look at me.”

He blinks at her through heavy eyelids. “I was thinking about you.”

“You wanna fuck me in a bunk on the quinjet?” she scoffs. Her fingers card through his hair.

“Anywhere. Have forever. Buck knows. ‘S why he suggested you for this.”

She smiles against his mouth. “Remind me to send him a thank you card.”

“Can I touch you?”

“In the driveway?” she gasps, even as she guides his hand towards the hem of her dress.

“Windows are too dark to see in.”

“You’re kinker than I thought–fuck.”

He traces the pads of his fingers over her soft skin. Steve bites his lip, watching her eyes flutter as his hand gets closer to touching her where he wants to, most. “Think I’m vanilla, agent?”

“That is your favorite ice cream flavor.”

Steve stops for a second and squeezes her thigh in affection. He presses a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. She chases her lips after his, and pauses just a breath from his face. They smile at each other, drunk on uncorked arousal. 

“Vanilla,” he whispers, tracing the hem of her panties, “is a complex flavor. Goes with everything. Chocolate. Cherries…” Steve dips his fingers beneath the silky fabric. She cants her hips to give him better access. He finds the little bud at her apex, worrying the bundle of nerves enough to make her moan.

“Exhibitionism,” she pants.

“In small quantities,” he chuckles. “Gimme your lips, sweets.”

She does so like a woman starved, but her head falls back as he sinks one finger into her heat. “Steven.”

“‘M here.”

“So good.” She rolls her hips to meet his hand. He thumbs her clit with every stroke. “Had a dream–mmph. You fingered me at a barbeque.”

“I’d do it. Under the table?”

“Mm. No. In the pool.”

“Our pool, sweetheart?” Steve works a second finger with the first easily. She’s drenched, she’s gorgeous. 

She nods. “Yeah. But I couldn’t make a face because everybody was around.”

“What, then?” Steve feels her squeezing him tight. She’s close. He’s never wanted anything more in his life than to make her come. He doesn’t care how much work it takes to clean the seat afterwards. He’ll do it with a smile, as long as she comes.

“You made me orgasm in front of the whole neighborhood. Then you got in the hot tub and you made me sit on your dick.”

“Were you keeping me hard?” He tugs the cups of her dress down with his free hand and bears her breasts. “Christ. You’re so beautiful.”

“Nobody knew, and the bubbles covered us,” she sighs. “Right there, right–oh fuck. What about you?”

Steve groans as her hand finds his straining dick over the top of his jeans. “I’m gonna bust my zipper the second you come.”

“Wanna feel you. Please.”

He nods his consent, but not before flickering his tongue against her nipple. She stays his hand by turning her nails into the skin at his wrist, and forces him to lean his seat back so she can unbutton his pants, but she doesn’t get very far–

The back window of the vehicle shatters. Steve throws himself over her, peering above her headrest. She groans.

“I was so close,” she wheezes. 

“Stay down, sweetheart.” Steve kisses her cheek and then throws the car into reverse, turning the wheel like a madman to dodge their attacker… Sharon. Standing on her front porch with a rifle. She raises the gun to take another shot, now that she has her sights on him. 

“Roll down your window, baby!” 

Steve doesn’t hesitate. His partner yanks the top of her dress up, lays half-way across his lap, and fires her own weapon (pulled from god-knows-where), catching their attacker in the shoulder. Sharon drops her rifle, but the gun discharges, destroying one of Steve’s tires with an explosive POP! The car drops heavily towards the front wheel well. Sharon staggers to retrieve her gun. After one more precise shot, she falls. Steve takes the gun from his partner when it is offered. She retrieves his pistol from the glove compartment, and they each get out of the car warily.

“Do you wanna trade?” Steve calls.

“You think I can’t shoot with your gun?” Her voice is sweet and teasing.

“I said no such thing. Is she dead?” They flank the unconscious woman… sure enough, she’s down for good, with one bullet right between the eyes. Steve exchanges a look of shock with his partner.

“Yes. Must’ve been desperate to risk taking us out like this. I’d say we found the rat,” she says. 

“I guess so.”

“She has the shittiest timing.” She grins at him, which makes Steve’s ears turn red. She retrieves her phone from the car and makes a call. 

Steve keeps his weapon at the ready. Several of the neighbors peer out their front windows in concern, but none are stupid enough to come out and investigate the ruckus. He attempts to stand between the body and the street, at least to obscure the pooling blood below Sharon’s head. 

It doesn't take ten minutes for a dozen black SUV’s to come squealing down the sleepy street. By the time they take over the block, Steve and his partner are leaning against his car, glancing at each other with small smiles. They’ve collected themselves somewhat; he made sure there was no visible sign that she’d been just moments from an orgasm when they were shot at (other than the hickey, which he hopes nobody notices), and they attempt to look concerned that their attacker wasn’t someone they expected. But it’s especially hard for Steve to be stoic, because he knows how it feels to touch her. He settles for looking smug. He is, but who’s to say why?

Bucky accompanies the agents who emerge from the trucks, as does Fury. “Cap. Agent.”

“Director,” she acknowledges. “Sergeant.” Bucky wrinkles his nose at her.

“Walk me through what happened.” She steps forward with Fury and walks him towards the body, while Bucky hangs back with Steve. Barnes leans over and whispers.

“Your fly’s undone.”

Steve sighs. “Shit. Why are you staring at my crotch, huh?” He fixes the aforementioned zipper as discreetly as possible.

“Old habits die hard.” Bucky folds his arms and leans against the car.

“What would Natasha say to that?”

“...you think she doesn’t stare at your crotch, punk?”

“You two are nightmares.” Steve can’t help but chuckle, despite himself. “Carter annoyed the hell outta me, but I didn’t think she was involved.”

“You trying to change the subject?”

“Not succeeding, apparently.” 

Just then, his partner looks up at him, gesturing towards him and then down the street, which is swarming with agents in black suits. 

“Cool it with the puppy dog eyes,” Bucky murmurs.

Steve glares at him. “Shut up. That’s just how my face looks.”

“Not when you look at me,” Bucky says, elbowing him in the side. “Did you tell her?”

Steve’s eyes dart away, and he can’t help but smile. He twists his mouth to keep from breaking out into a full smile.

“Thank God,” Bucky says.

“Rogers!” Fury waves him over. Steve strides towards the director with his hands in his pockets. “I think your partner is a little shell shocked. Why don’t you take her to the house? I’ll catch up with you in a bit. I think it’s going to take a few hours for us to do a preliminary search of Carter’s.”

Steve glances at his partner, who has her hands clasped at her waist, twisting her fingers. She indeed looks quite shocked, eyes wide and unblinking as she stares up at him. “Yes sir.”

“I’m glad you two didn’t do anything hasty and stayed put. This could’ve gone a whole lot worse.” 

Steve nods. He manages the world’s most convincing performance of concern, wrapping his arm around his partner’s shoulders. She leans into his side, letting him guide her across the street to the house with ‘Rogers’ painted on the mailbox. He doesn’t dare look at Bucky, nor does he want to risk saying anything until they’re safely concealed from the rest of the world. But the moment they’re inside, he presses her back against the front door. She smiles softly.

“Did that get your blood going?” she asks. “Getting shot at with your fingers inside me.”

He huffs. “Your mouth, I swear.”

“What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Do you want this?” He asks, working his knee between hers until she has to stand on her tip-toes. She nods breathlessly. “Out loud, or I stop.”

“I’ve heard you come,” she laughs. “In the shower. When you think you’re being quiet. I talk myself out of joining you every time, but I wanna see your face when you have an orgasm. I think you’ll be the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Steve shivers. “Pretty, huh?” He lowers his mouth slowly to hers, but stops as she gasps. His hands find the globes of her ass, inching under the panties he’s going to destroy. He watches her eyes dilate with arousal. She smirks.

“You’re a pretty man, Rogers. ‘S why I married you.”

Steve gapes at her for just a minute. He shakes his head in disbelief, shrugging off the euphoria which rises in him at the thought of this woman truly being everything. Her fingers creep to his jaw.

“What?”

He sighs. “That’s all I want. To have this. All the time.”

“A wife, baby?”

“And babies, sweetheart.”

“You told Joe you wanted three… you were being serious.”

“I was.” His eyes flick back and forth to study her irises. They’re glassy. 

“You’d want that with… me?”

“How long have you known me?” He asks, kissing her forehead. 

Her hands wrap behind his head, stroking his nape. “That’s a big step. We’re not even together–”

“I’ve been telling anyone in a ten mile radius that you’re my wife for three straight weeks, and nothing has ever felt more right.” Steve levels his eyes with hers. “I want as much as you’re willing to give me.”

Her eyes crinkle as she smiles. “God. You take a girl’s breath away. I… I don’t know if I want kids, Steve–”

“But you want me.”

“Yes,” she sighs. 

“Then I don’t care. You can think about it.”

“What if the answer is ‘no’? Could you be content with only me?”

“Only–sweetheart. You are everything.” Steve kisses her eyelids as they shut in relief. “We could always have dogs.”

She laughs in surprise, and it’s his favorite sound in the whole world. “Why don’t we start from the beginning, and see where we end up?”

“Where’s that?” He noses her cheek. 

“Give each other orgasms for the first time. I mean, if I’m gonna think about having babies, don’t you think I should know how your dick feels?”

“You make a very good point,” he says with mock seriousness, tapping his chin. “In the spirit of investigation.”

“To make a truly informed decision.”

“Right… if we do this, we’re gonna have to tell Fury.”

She looks at him guiltily. “He… knows. I sorta forgot that the car is bugged.”

Steve freezes with wide eyes. “Shit.”

“...Yeah.”

“Well…”

“We have no reason to hide it, now.” She finds the hem of the shirt she likes so much and tickles her nails across his abdomen. “Besides, I gotta admit that I kinda found it, I dunno… hot? That people heard us.”

Steve locks the front door over her shoulder and walks backwards, tugging her towards the stairs. He spins her so her heels catch on the step, forcing her to sit down abruptly. Steve follows, latching his lips over hers hungrily. He probably should feel embarrassed, but how can he when this beautiful woman wants him? No man in his right mind would be ashamed of her. 

He rends the gusset of her panties. For such a talkative person, she sure has nothing to say when his fingers find her clit again. Just incoherent moans. Steve has three fingers inside her by the time she comes, walls fluttering around his thrusting hand. Her head falls back in ecstasy as she soaks his fingers. He wastes no time working his pants down enough to free his dick; her hands urge his shirt off so she can run the tips of her nails down his chest, flicking against his nipples and making him buck. She’s bringing kinks out in him he didn’t even know he had. 

She wraps one hand around him, making his head fall forward against her collar. He nips at her tendon in retaliation. She guides him until his dick is tucked between her folds, and rolls her hips to take him in. Steve obliges. He sinks into her fully, and groans.

“Fucking hell,” she breathes. 

“You’re tight, sweets.” He teases the seam of her lips with his tongue, inviting her to lose herself completely. She’s still sensitive from her first orgasm, shivering when he brushes her clit, so Steve stays still. Buried deep in the woman of his dreams.

“Was it like this, in your dream?” he asks, stroking her cheek softly. She smiles blissfully.

“No. This is better than anything my brain made up. You gotta move.”

“What if I didn’t? And I made you sit with my dick inside you all day long.” Steve shimmies her dress up her torso until she arches her back enough to let him pull it over her head. But he fists the fabric at her wrists, capturing her hands so she can’t touch him. She whines.

“Jesus. Who knew you were so controlling?” Her inner muscles contract and he huffs.

“If I thought I could control you for one second, you’d know it by now,” he says, rolling his hips. “But you’re the one who’s got me wrapped around your finger.”

“Yeah?” she gasps. “You’ve got me tied up.”

“You don’t need your hands to have me right where you want me, sweetheart, and you know it.”

She kisses him hard. “Fuck me. So I have bruises from these stairs.”

“Yes ma’am.”

He snaps his hips forward to do just that, and he’s in heaven. He’s got little experience compared to some of the agents he hears bragging about their trysts in the gym, but by god, he’s never fucked a woman like this. Especially not someone he loves. His knees burn from the carpet, and his boots attempt to slide off his bracing step–hell, his pants aren’t even to his knees, but he fucks her like a desperate man, because that’s what he is. He wants her to come again, more than anything. Hard. Who cares if he doesn’t, as long as she finds pleasure?

Her hands slip free of their restraints easily, and she grasps his back for dear life. He’ll feel the marks from her nails in the shower, he’s sure of it. Steve doesn’t realize his eyes are closed until she gasps. His eyes snap open–she’s arching up, chasing her release. He reaches between their bodies to find her clit and rolls it as he thrusts. It’s enough to send her over the edge. She cries out, and it’s all he can do not to come at the sight of her. But he thrusts through her orgasm until she’s whining with sensitivity. She grips his ass.

“Baby–please. It hurts.” 

Steve braces himself on his elbows and freezes, kissing her in apology. “Mmm. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You okay?” She nods, kissing him back slowly. 

“You need to come.”

“I’m okay.”

“No!” She protests. “I want you to. I have to see it. Please–pull out, I’ll help you.” 

The moment he rises up, she’s reaching for him… he can’t think with the way her fingers wrap around him, tugging him ever closer towards his own orgasm. He’s kneeling beside her on the stairs, watching her in rapt awe. She worships him, but she’s too gentle. He tightens her fingers with his to show her that she doesn’t need to be so careful with him. She’s a fast learner. She pumps him with as much care as he showed her, her eyes fixed to his face to catch every little expression of pleasure. When he’s close, he falls down onto his elbow, right at her side. She smiles, and he can’t help but smile back because god, he loves her. She’s everything. He’s never felt so good. He’s soaring. She coaxes him through his orgasm, painting her belly with his come. He turns his teeth into her shoulder to keep from bellowing, which makes her wince and laugh all at once. Then, he lets himself fall fully onto the stairs beside her, so they’re both staring up at the ceiling in awe. 

He laughs. 

“Yeah… you’re pretty, alright,” she breathes.

“I should’ve gotten you to bed.” He looks over at her. A faint sheen of sweat makes her glow like a goddess, and she shakes her head.

“I think this was as far as we were gonna make it.” She raises her hand to stroke his cheek but she’s shaking a little. Steve takes her hand and kisses it.

“What’s the verdict?” he whispers.

She giggles. “More research required.”

“Do you think the house is bugged?”

“...Not anymore.”

He can’t help but laugh at the innocent smile on her face. “Shit, sweets. You made me hungry. I could really go for those moon pies right about now.”

She beckons him to meet her in a kiss. “After that, baby? I’ll give you the whole moon.”

--

thanks for reading!

my masterlist - my marvel masterlist

[rouge-variant]

Hi, how are you doing? I hope you are still taking up requests. I would like to ask a LEVI x READER with the scenario that they are married and Levi got wasted with the veterans. He was ranting about his wife for being strict with how they spend money (because he keeps on buying cleaning materials), how she cared about him seemingly being clingy especially when she bring him food when she actually just wanted him to not skipped meals and rant about how did he ever married her (well he was drunk)

*Happy noises!!!!* You are one of the big blogs that I really like, so that fact you asked something of me, makes me so happy!!! So sorry about the long wait but I hope this is to your liking. I did change it so that Levi wasn't drunk. Instead it would be a stress/exhibition mix because I think it was canon that he can't get drunk...but if you don't like it, no worries, I'll fix it!! Cried a little bit too while I made this, it's angsty and I apologize for that! But happy ending!!! So sorry about the wait. Thanks for your request and I hope you enjoy!!

Levi Ackerman x Reader: Lucky to Have You

Trigger Warning; Heavy Angst, mentions of ignoring, unappreciation, falling out/divorce, angry ranting. Please keep this in mind while you read.

It's rare to hear anyone complain about their partners during the veterans weekly late-night meetings.

Miche is normally pointing out how the fierce Nanaba is so soft and sweet with him.

Hange is always talking about Moblit's great work or how spice their nights can get before Levi covers their mouth to stop them from saying things that shouldn't be discussed with a younger audience.

Erwin recalls stories with the girl he liked a while ago, offering advice or simply just enjoying what his friends say.

Levi normally never brings you up into the conversation. He adored you with all that he is but doesn't want people to know that you're his weakness. It could put you in more danger than you already are and give his 'friends' something to tease him about. The few times he did bring you up was when people noticed the way you had fixed his jacket's shoulder emblem which was coming off. Or it was about the way his posture was better since you helped get rid of the pain in his back from the strain of his ODM gear. You were a goddess in his eyes and he tried his best to make sure that you knew he appreciated your efforts.

But this last month was hard. With the discovery of the Female Titan and the death of his squad, the stress and exhaustion started clouding his clear mind and it tangled up with you, though you did nothing wrong. It mixed together and came out during one of the night meetings. Levi didn't really process the words he said and everyone else in the room really was tipsy from the drinks to point it out.

"Some days I can't stand her anymore. She's always so clingy, using the excuse to bring food to my office just to be with me for a few minutes. I never see her with food yet you don't hear me barking at her to eat something and stop doing the task in front of her" Levi grumbled starting off expressing his frustrations.

"Then it's always being cautious with money. Yes I know we don't have a lot because the Scouts only have so much of their own but I don't need you to remind me every time I plan on going to get something. The cadets are so clumsy so when they break something, the mop last week, I have to go and get new ones because no one else does" Everyoen just let him rant. They've never seen him so worked up over anything before and it was more so for the humor. Heck, none of them, except Levi, would remember this later.

"I'm a grown man, not some child that she needs to take care of. I need some space. How blind does she need to be, can't she tell?" He played with the ring on the necklace after he finished.

"Weird, normally Y/n's so good at noticing things" Hange sighed, looking down.

"Its normal, you'll get used to it" Miche hummed. Levi rolled his eyes but didn't add anything else.

"Talking works but I'm assuming that's already off the table?" Erwin adds and gets a grunt in response. The conversation quickly changes, thanks to Hange, and it's also quickly forgotten.

By them at least. Instead, it plants itself inside your head and leaves a tight feeling in your chest. Is that really how he view the things you did for him? But you two swore no more secrets the day you both got married. So many questions swarmed your mind and prevented you from opening the door and taking your husband back to your shared room. The entire conversation could be heard through the door from where you stood. No mistakes could be made as it came out perfectly clear. You walked back, alone as you decided to give him what he claimed he wanted.

You made a brief stop at his room, not your shared one anymore, to remove the traces of you from it. You didn't want him to put up with you anymore than necessary any longer. Then you made your way back to your room that was hardly used.

The bed was cold, the room was a little dusty but you cleaned it up quickly. And then the small container than sat in your top bedside table drawer made its appearance for the first time in two years. Your small pouch was taken out of the basket you used to love all your stuff and its contents was dumped inside. Just under twenty dollars left of the last three months salary. Everything else was used to help Levi with his cleaning habits for his own comfort. Your money could now be put towards the new set you wanted to help with your hobby. Something that's been on hold since the cadets have been so irresponsible with Levi's stuff.

Now that you're room was back in order, you settled into bed and tried to sleep alone. Something that you've gotten used to since Levi rarely listened and hardly came to bed with you. But at least his scent was on the blankets and you could hear him in his attached office. Now, there was nothing. Not to mention that you're office was on the opposite ends of the hallways since you were a Squad leader and had Levi's squad and another under your supervision. So there would be no contact with him whatsoever.

It was for the best but it didn't help the crappy feeling eating away at you. You thought things were going ok and that you and Levi had reached an understanding that if anything was wrong, you could come and talk to each other about it. You were strong, of course you were, but no one is able to go through a heartbreak without shedding a tear. Which is why there was little guilt about crying yourself to sleep that night.

A week passed and now that the stress has finally calmed within the regiment, Levi had started to notice things were off. First of all, nothing covered him during the nights he fell asleep at his desk. Your side of the bed was cold every morning and the wrinkles in the sheets where you normally sleep were gone. Meals were no longer brought to him, nor was his tea and he had to stop and grab something because concentrating just didn't happen when meals were missed. But most importantly, why the hell were you gone? Why didn't you pop into his office during the day with something corny to say or to mess his hair up so that he would sit up properly and not hurt his back? He missed you.

But its not like he could pull you over and ask what's going on because you were nonexistent when he went to look for you. He would try to talk after meetings but you would literally disappear into thin air. There was a meeting taking place in the capital next week and you both were assigned to go on it. So he was hoping to talk to you before that, which is why he's checking your office, a place he's rarely been to since being married.

He didn't bother knocking since there was no voices or noise coming from the inside. So when he pushed open the door, he had to bite hit tongue to stay queit.

You had fallen asleep on the floor of your office, surrounded by papers and folders. On your desk was lunch but it was only half eaten. His eyebrows furrowed because this was so out of your character. Even before he became friends with you, you worked smart not hard. This mess if work was hard work not smart work and he could tell by the small amount of finished work there was.

Next to the dishes, was a thinner folder labeled "private" and there were wet drop stains scattered around the label. He immediately assumed they were tear stains and he opened the folder. In red ink was the word 'Divorce' and at the bottom of the page, there was two sections. Once was filled in with all of your information and the otherwise was blank. The only thing that gave away what it was for, was the title "partner two". He ran a hand through his hair and swore under his breath.

The noise of the folder moving, woke you up and you watched his expression fall into one of despair. There was a painful flicker of hope that Levi did still love you but it was extinguished by the glare returning.

"You can take that, sign it then I'll mail it away and you won't be trapped with me anymore" you speak up, your voice was still rough from sleep. Levi turned around quickly and his silver eyes connected to your tired, dull ones.

"What?" He asked you to clarify though he heard you just fine the first time.

"We rarely see each other anymore, I'm not happy with this and neither are you. So why are you continuing to trap yourself with me?" You mumble, cleaning up your stuff and packing away the papers. He doesn't respond, just watches you. Since when did he say that you were trapping him or preventing him from being happy? You do the exact opposite to him...but you looked so...broken. So maybe he would just suck it up and do it for your sake. He hates seeing you this way but he didn't know what would've caused this.

"Ok" was all he said before taking the folder and going to his own office.

The next week was so hard to do anything. Levi couldn't do anything without having your broken expression or the last conversation going through his mind. He wanted to have a proper talk with you about this and he finally got the chance when you had to share a room with him.

You had sat down on the couch and Levi dropped the folder onto to the table in front of you. Your heart fell at the sight of it and you took the folder after looking at it for a few moments.

"You signed it?" You confirmed, not opening it yet.

"No I didn't. You never gave me a proper explanation as to why you're doing this. You can't just dump this on my Y/n" he sat on the bed facing you.

"Your explanation was your vent two weeks ago" you glared weakly at him and a cold sweat it Levi hard. He had forgotten about the things he said and they all came back in a rush, giving him a headache.

"You heard that? Y/n please, all of that came out wrong-" the steady, calm monotone voice he usually had, broke as he panicked.

"You don't have to keep lying Levi. I just want to know where I went wrong...I just wanted to take care of you since you do that to everyone but yourself. I thought it helped when I brought you food so that you didn't waste time, grabbing meals. I didn't mean to be clingy when I come and get you from your night meetings with your friends or when I sit and talk with you for a little bit after bring you food...I'm sorry I became a problem...I'm sorry this wasn't something you could come and talk about to me about. I'm sorry I let you down..." you started off strong but you eventually started crying again as you reached the end. The strong front Levi had, was gone and replaced with horror as he saw you break down like this. He wanted to hold you, soothe you, wipe away your tears and make things better again. But he couldn't because he was the problem. So instead he got up and took the folder, that was now next to you as you hid your face in your hands,and threw it in the fire. After hearing the new bring noise, you looked up to see him staring onto the fire with his eyes glossy.

You opened your mouth to speak but the clanking of the fire stick hitting the stand as he put it away, made you stop. Levi returned to the bed and sat so that he faced you.

"If you still want a divorce by the end of these three day, I'll go and get you another form. But can we please talk this out properly before jumping to conclusions like this?" He asked quietly, looking down at the floor. You stay silent and let him continue.

"I don't want you thinking I hate you, that I feel trapped with you, that I made a mistake marrying you or that I regret it. Because I don't...and I know you probably don't believe me. Those things I said...I was confused, tired and hurt but it doesn't matter because i never should've said that. I didn't remember I said those until you brought it up. Sorry isn't going to make up for this and it never will but I'm going to start by saying it because it's a sign of recognition of my mistakes and its better than saying nothing at all. Y/n, I'm so sorry for the crap I said about you. You are such a wonder that I've found and I'm sorry that I hurt you" as he spoke, his eyes were locked on you the entire time. You could tell that it was a struggle to stay composed as he stopped frequently and hid Adam's Apple bobbed nervously. When he finished speaking, he dropped his gaze again and shut his eyes slightly to stop the stinging from the tears that tried to build up and escape.

Your tears continued to fall because you didn't think you would ever hear Levi apologize the way he did. It helped to soothe the burning pain in your chest that you've had for almost a month now. But part of you was still scared that this was a cover up.

"We have three more days until we go home. If you'll allow me, I want to try and show you how sorry I am and try to make amends with you" he spoke again after a little bit, looking at you which mirrored the same pained expression you had.

You were hesitant but your gut was urging you to give it a chance, to give him a chance again.

"Alright..." you agreed slowly and Levi perked up a little more.

"Thank you. For starters, here" he passed you a small envelope. It seemed light until you grabbed it and it turned out being much heavier than expected. You opened it to inspect it and gasped at the contents. Money, it was a decent amount too and you shot Levi a look for clarification.

"I'm not trying to bribe you into staying with me...I found your money book in my office and found the amount of money that you took from your salary and added to my funds for the new cleaning supplies that the brats keep breaking. Most of it's my money but the kids found out and added some of their own too. There should be enough in there for the new kit you've been wanting for your spare time hobby. As well as some left over that will give you a boost for your savings" Levi explains and it fills your chest with a sense of calm and warmth. He noticed. Not only that but he paid you back even though he didn't have to. You were left speechless and it scared him a little bit. He was panicking internally that this was too much.

"You also don't need to acc-" he started but you cut him off.

"No...this is amazing...thank you Levi" your voice broke off near the end as happy tears replaced the sad tears. He relaxed and dug out a clean cloth from his pocket, moving towards you and kneeling in front of you to wipe your tears before stopping to correct himself. He couldn't do this yet, not after being such a jerk.

You placed your hands on his to stop his internal debate and gave him a look which told him he was ok to continue. He was very gentle when wiping your tears. He treated your face like glass but also welcomed your touch when you leaned into his hand more.

"Thanks Levi" you whispered and he nodded in response.

"Of course my love...I mean Y/n" he stuttered and you smiled a little.

Over the course of the next few days, Levi did everything to counter what he said about you. When meal time came, he made sure you both ate and stopped whatever he was doing and gave you his full attention. If you were working on something, he brought you food and sat giving you space to work but also staying near you in case you needed anything.

He slowly worked his way into sleeping with you again. Starting off in the bed while you took the couch, because he gave up fighting with your stubbornness, for the first night. Then it was a pillow barricade the second night which ended up with you cuddling Levi against your chest while he clung to your torso and lower body. And finally the last night...

"We go back tomorrow...If you made up decision, I'll grab the forms on the way back" Levi said nervously.

"Stop nervous fiddling and come lie on the bed" you instruct. You've started acting more like yourself over that last two days which was a big relief to him. He does what you ask and you surprise his when you curl up against his chest, just like before.

"You made the right decision burning the file" you claim, looking at him.

"Really?" His eyes lit up now, something that has been gone since he first found out about your plan.

"Yes. I'm mean it when I say it Levi I forgive you.-" he cuts you off before you can add anything else.

"If you're thinking of apologizing again, don't. You're not even the one who should've apologized. I am. This was my fault and you were only acting according to what you thought was best. This had nothing to do with you. We've just learned now to talk instead of assuming and venting." He scolds lightly and you hum in agreement.

"Don't try to apologize for apologizing earlier either." He adds quickly as you open your mouth. Though now, the words turn into laughter. Infectious laughter as Levi chuckles a bit too.

"I love you Y/n. So so much. Thank you for trying again with me" he kisses your lips once you both settle down.

"I love you too Levi...thank you for making things ok again" you smiled and cupped his cheek.

It was a dangerous way to learn a lesson about having a relationship but it worked out in the end at least. Levi made sure to be more cautious of his actions going forward and you did too. This hiccup in the road only made you two grow stronger as years passed. And looking back, you both were grateful to have learned the lesson of communication early on in your marriage. So that you didn't end up as the other couple down the the street that bickers constantly! You're both as happy as can be.