#idk what i label this as

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

How I think the Friends cast would act drunk

Squad leader: Canonically he's mentioned he lets loose a lot more when he's had a few drinks, and he's once boasted about how strong he was during a small party in Bar Histamines (overly exaggerated too). I like to imagine he just straight up forgets what social anxiety is. No longer is he bound to the shackles of stressing if a specific behavior he does makes him look weird.

2145: I think he probably has a high tolerance, but if he does drink enough he would probably just sleep. Big nap time for him. His eyes stay open but trust me he is napping. You can't get him up unless you offer him bacteria or he finishes processing the alcohol

IM1235: Canonically she gets a little ditzy and can barely tell friend from foe, you could be scolding her and getting mad at her and she'd still be very happy to talk to you and listen to you. She also passes out but it's a little after she's done being silly.

3033: He has no more filter. He says whatever and goes off about what he's thinking about at that moment. "They overwork us TOO MUCH, I need a holiday right NOW" or he starts rambling about how bacteria tastes bad, or talking about the killer T cells being incompetent and stupid. Usually he will at least keep it to himself but no more, his temper is more explosive than normal.

Dendritic cell: If you let him sew during this period he will probably make the most fucked up looking bacterium you've ever seen, he still thinks he's doing a good job. He's canonically just allowed a naive t cell to activate while he's drunk, so he probably does whatever without considering the consequences.

M cell: M cells probably just in general have a high tolerance. It'd be funny if he absolutely forgot about his depression and just actually started being normal about things. Something unlucky happens to him and he's like "why do I feel like I'm supposed to say something self deprecating right now." He cannot walk in a straight line, constantly bumps into things but never acknowledges the fact that he did, and if he falls over he might just sleep then and there. Right on the floor.

Eosinophil: Probably still has a little anxiety left in her body, gets shaken up by the littlest of things, IM1235 accidentally bumps into her and she jumps. She probably jitters a little, you ask her if she's cold and she does the "Huh?… no I'm not" brain lag.

B cell: He will start flirting with a plant in the corner of the room, when you tell him about it he goes "Well if they are then they gotta be the most gorgeous plant out there." Even in this state he will still insist on taking care of Memory cell, despite him not even being able to locate where exactly he is.

Memory cell: I don't think any part of him changes, he still messes up names (other than B cell) and he still is his old man old self.

NK: She is practicing her sword fighting skills with some other immune cell, she is doing a bad job but she still insists that she needs to or else what if something bad happens??? Who will protect all these innocent cells?? (Other immune cells who aren't out of commission but that will not convince her)

RegT: Solitaire gaming off the charts on her, she's clicking 6cps and will not stop. Probably got a world record solve at some point but was never recorded. I think it'd also be funny if she took a few jabs at HT just for fun, "you're so sloppy" "tuck in your uniform" "you're addicted to sweets"

HT: Emotional rollercoaster on this one. Laughs and cries and goes insane all in the same minute, annoys RegT, calls in some immune cells just because he can. He cries terribly when no one acknowledges him (RegT gotta call in Dendritic cell just to take care of him because she doesn't know how)

Cross: Canonically is a messy and annoying drunk. He either loses his temper very fast or he doesn't even realize when is the appropriate time to be angry. Clings onto squad leader and gets him cups upon cups of alcoholic drinks because he's having too much fun to realize that is rude (and also the fact that squad leader is suffering)

[girlboyburger]

it's here! the cow base!! it's done!!! EASILY the biggest base i've made so far, and i'm really really proud of it!! now............................... go forth and bring more beautiful cow furries to this beautiful earth

[ufash]

bill cipher havin a snack

Does this count

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[trans-leek-cookie]

yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.

The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.

[sunshine-foxes-and-shadows]

*claps hands together* Okay. An idea that WILL NOT leave my brain.

Jeremy & Renee unintentionally teaming up and creating a home with Kevin, Neil, Jean, and Andrew. (No logistics, just vibes for this premise)

They all interact in different degrees of affection/familiarity, but it's just--comfortable and safe.

Renee sitting on the couch and having a hot drink as she reads, when Andrew sits beside her and rests his head on her shoulder. (Jean makes his way over to sit by her feet, so she can run her fingers through his hair.)

Jeremy's up early one morning and Neil finds him and they get to chatting about ~*Exy*~. Kevin slots in behind Neil to join the conversation. Jean follows Kevin's lead and moves behind Jeremy. Andrew's disinterested, but pushes in front of & leans back on Jeremy, so he can nudge at Neil's shins occasionally.

Renee watches her boys with great fondness and is content. (Eventually, they migrate over to the table and she gets a flurry of pecks and hair fluffs.)

I feel like I have a thousand more thoughts, but to name a few:

Jeremy & Renee kiss attacking Jean and he gets indignant but never puts a stop to it (He's actually loving it.)

Kevin & Jean getting (just a little) jealous over Jeremy's attention. (Andrew picks up on their posturing and grabs Jeremy's hand and steals him away, just to be a dick.)

Renee spooning Kevin on the couch, so she can hold him close to her & give him gentle, comforting strokes across his chest.

Andrew and Renee taking Neil shopping every time he tries to get out of it, but *needs* new clothes.

Jean, Kevin, Jeremy & Renee foreign film dates. Andrew and Neil occasionally attend, but also go off on adventures (and/or wreak havoc).

I just...........I want them all to be happy and have as much love as possible.

[shadebloopnik]

Angelic Alastor AU bc the poly im thinkin out for it makes me laugh sometimes.

Lilith and Lucifer winding down in each others arms after having sex, having random conversation topics and eventually ending on Alastor.

Lilith: He's always been so reserved with anything regarding this, are most of your kind like that or???

Lucifer: No, I mean we are able to have those kinds of relationships, they're not really taboo amongst angels. Alastor's just....never been interested in it...?

Lilith: Hmmm.....

Lucifer: ..........

Lilith: ......he'd be pretty fucking hot tho-

Lucifer: Oh stars yes, I've been envisioning it for eons, you have no idea-

[redysetdare]

I see aplatonics talking about how people assume not having friends means you're an unlikable person and how harmful that can be and it just reminds me of how people will point to assholes and say they don't have friends as an insult but like...I know a lot of assholes with friends. Their friends also tend to be assholes. someone not having friends is not a moral failing. Assholes have people who like them and will hang out with them while the nicest person you know may have no friends at all. so y'know, I'm with the aplatonics and platorepulsed ppl on this one.

[sieglinde-freud]

let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!

[thisshitisridiculous]

so if you ship buddie you know buck and eddie's relationship in canon is like that™️ for tons of reasons but the one that gets me the most is, i think, best explained in the form of a graphic

this is obviously a simplistic depiction thats only featuring main family characters but it's to show how most of our 7 mains are connected together with specifically stated familial ties to each other and other major side characters. their storylines often overlap or involve the other main characters they're close to and they have at least 2 prominent connections to other mains. they all have many lovely little triangles. except eddie. eddie's storylines almost exclusively feature buck, chris, and other less prominent characters that aren't related to the rest of the cast like shannon, other love interests, or his parents.

while, of course, eddie is close with the rest of the 118 and considers them family and has tons of scenes with hen, chimney, and bobby, he's often not directly involved in their specific storylines and they aren't really involved in his. i mean he's barely even talked to athena or maddie on screen. his next closest relationship is obviously bobby. eddie and bobby have a stong connection as captain and teammate, as catholics, as widowers. bobby is a mentor to eddie a lot and gives him advice on his issues but he's often working as an outside observer to eddie's storyline, not directly involved either. and bobby often has storylines that don't involve eddie directly at all. it's nowhere near the same as bobby and buck or as close as like athena and hen's relationship

the show has just made buck eddie's most prominent connection time and time again when they've had literal years to expand his relationships with the other main characters. because this doesn't even include how athena and maddie often have scenes/storylines together or how karen and chimney have been friends since before meeting hen.

anyway my main point is give eddie diaz some more branches goddamit!

[schneiderenjoyer]

The reason the whole age discourse is confusing is that bluepoch keeps pulling shit like THIS.

[waitineedaname]

i know it's just the trope of like. one true love/soulmates/"never loved someone before this person" but I find it very funny that in writing that trope, mxtx accidentally made all her protagonists read as very arospec

shen qingqiu? whole essays have been written about how he is absolutely on the ace spectrum, and i'd argue he's on the aro spectrum too for similar reasons. he's like "damn it would be difficult to get a girlfriend as the scum villain" and then proceeds to not really give a shit about that problem whatsoever. he's completely clueless about the fact that people are falling love with him left and right, does not even consider romance an option until luo binghe straight up kisses him on the mouth. i think in general attraction for him is kinda muddy and it would be hard to neatly label the affection he feels for binghe as one thing or the other. i do firmly believe that if you plucked romance out of the equation, he and lbh would still be attached at the hip because their dynamic is a mess that isn't exclusively romantic

wei wuxian? the most demiromantic motherfucker i've ever seen. he knew lan wangji for HOW LONG before he realized he was in love with him??? he was very clearly obsessed with lwj from the start, but it likely started as "this guy is fun to provoke and I want his attention" rather than romantic attraction (as opposed to lan wangji who was attracted to him from the start and Very Mad About It) and I think it took wwx so long to figure out his feelings because it genuinely just took a long time for those feelings to develop from something platonic (and a little physical) to something romantic, and I think that development came about because he realized just how much he could trust and rely on lwj

as for xie lian, im only on book five, but so far my assessment of him seems to be that for 800 years he was like "this chastity shit is easy" and now he's suddenly experiencing attraction for the first time and he's like "whoa. okay. well I'll deal with that later once i'm done dealing with the horrors"

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

[gongenzaka]

Yuya wearing the girls' uniform, as much as Yuya would possibly respect any kind of dress code lmao. This is for my boy+girl bigender Yuya headcanon.

[farshootergotme]

My take on the "is Dick Damian's parent" debate:

Dick doesn't think of Damian as his son (I feel like he considered it at some point but with all the other problems in his life he wasn't ready to be a parent so in the end he left it at that), but he knows he had to step up as a parental figure during the time Bruce wasn't there.

Damian knows Dick isn't his parent nor will he be with Bruce in the picture, but he was to some extent a parental figure in a way his parents hadn't been before that point (not hating on Bruce or Talia, but they weren't stellar parents to Damian).

[sendmyresignation]

i think there's really something to be said about how there has never been a record i've encountered where people wanted justification or excuse to refuse to acknowledge the intention and seriousness of the project itself like danger days by both defenders and haters. i find it so incredibly bizarre and strange and partially fascinating.