#can't wait to be cancelled for the second time today

[gotaksboyfie]

Hi, could you please do something about a reader who had a toxic relationship in the past and is now dating Gotak, but she still has some trauma. If you feel comfortable, I loved your writing and I love Gotak!

undoing scars

gif creds @slytherinshua

paring go hyuntak x female reader

summary after a toxic ex, you struggle when hyuntak keeps coming to dates late because it reminds you of unpleasant memories. but through his love and actions, you learn to heal from your past.

word count 2.1k

warnings/tags past verbal + physical abuse, hurt/comfort, insecurities, angst

a/n the toxic ex is just a male oc, not a character or intended to be anyone

hyuntak🩷: will be late 15 minutes. wait for me!!

you read hyuntak’s message with a heavy sigh. you guys were supposed to go eat at a restaurant, but it seems like hyuntak was running late.

a small tendril of fear started to bloom in your heart. this was how it started with minseok. he gradually started coming later and later to dates, eventually just canceling them last minute.

that was just the beginning of your horrible relationship. you shuddered slightly at the memories, burying them deep down again. hyuntak was different, you knew that. do you really?

staring at the tablecloth, a waiter stopped by your table.

“miss? are you dining alone today?” he asked, preparing to take your order.

“ah no,” you grimaced slightly, “i’m just waiting for my date. he’s running late, you see”

the waiter widened his eyes in surprise and apologized. “i’ll come back when he’s here,”

you checked your phone again anxiously. what was hyuntak doing that was taking him so long? you bounced your leg up and down, hoping to will all thoughts of minseok away.

hyuntak is different. he will always better miles better than that piece of shit. he'd never treat you like that. you reaffirmed yourself repeatedly in your head, watching the minutes on your phone tick by.

"reader! i'm so sorry," hyuntak panted, slightly out of breath. he looked down at where you sat, with a concerned glance.

you were frozen with an unreadable expression on your face. your eyes held some fear, and hyuntak hoped it was just because he was late.

"i brought you these flowers as an apology," he nervously held out a bouquet of your favorite flowers. you blinked and your expression did a total 180. you beamed brightly, and took the bouquet while complimenting it.

"hyuntak this is so pretty! thank you so much! also, it's really okay if you're late a couple minutes. i can handle it," you rambled on, complimenting the flowers.

hyuntak sighed, "reader, i promise this won't happen again. i'm really sorry about being late,"

you shook your head at his apology, "i already told you it's okay, stop apologizing,"

taking a sear across from you, hyuntak watched as you flagged down the same waiter from before and began ordering. he smiled softly, admiring you. you continued the date as if nothing happened, but there was a small pit growing in your stomach—unknown to hyuntak.

the next time it happens, you can't help but shed a tear or two. hyuntak was supposed to be at your house 30 minutes ago, but he said he was running late. again.

sure, the last time it happened was a few weeks ago, and hyuntak's allowed to be late sometimes. but it doesn't stop the anxiety from creeping in. you've been through this before, you know what's going to happen.

arguments, screaming matches, a few slaps here and there, and then suddenly hyuntak will show up with a new girl and you're tossed aside the second you become "boring"—

you breathe in and out, nice and slow, to stop yourself from hyperventilating. nothing good will happen if you work yourself into a panic. your doorbell ringing knocks you out of your spiral.

you rush to the door, opening it to see hyuntak slightly bruised up—but other wise fine.

"hyuntak! are you okay? oh my god, come in," you panic slightly, dragging him to sit on your couch. "what happened?"

hyuntak exhales softly as he sits down, "some people tried to pick on juntae, and he called me for help. i'm sorry for being late,"

you chastise yourself for being so stupid. of course hyuntak was busy doing something else, you're not the only person in the world.

"is he okay? i hope he's not hurt." you pull out some ointment and a few bandaids, carefully applying them to his face. "are you hurt anywhere?"

"not really, just a little sore. nothing some rest won't fix."

the second you finish, hyuntak bear hugs you and tackles you down to the couch to cuddle. "put a movie or whatever you'd like on, i'm gonna take a nap,"

you inhale sharply at the sudden movement and you find yourself frozen for a moment before you remember that this is hyuntak. he wouldn't hurt you. you recollect yourself quickly before hyuntak can notice.

you bring a hand to his scalp and start lightly scratching, before reaching for the remote to turn on a show. "goodnight baby," you mutter, and hyuntak's out like a light.

the next 2 months pass without anymore incidents, and you've managed to quell that nagging feeling in your head. but it happens a third time.

once was fine, twice is just coincidence, but a third time has to mean something's up. right? it's been nearly an hour of you waiting on a bench near a night market. unshed tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you look at your phone screen.

hyuntak🩷: baby i'm so sorry i was working on a project with juntae and sieun and it completely slipped my mind i'll be there soon - 6:44

hyuntak🩷: i think i'm gonna have to stay a little longer because our progress is really slow right now - 7:02

hyuntak🩷: just 10 more minutes and i'll be omw!!get yourself something to snack on in the meantime 😋 - 7:25

hyuntak was supposed to meet you at 6:30. it was 7:26 now. was it that easy for him to forget about you? what if he's not even with juntae and sieun—and he's really just with some other girl and they're laughing about how oblivious you are to everything.

the tears cascade down your cheeks like a waterfall, attracting the attention of some people near you. you sniffle and wipe them, but it does little to stop you from crying silently.

you can't stay here any longer, you have to leave. you pick up your things and start speed walking home. the tears don't stop, not even for a moment.

why would hyuntak do that to you? he was supposed to be different than.. than him. the painful reminder makes you choke on a sob. you fumble for your phone and hurriedly dial juntae, noticing that the time was well past the 10 minutes hyuntak said he'd by done by.

"oh! reader, why are you calling?" juntae asks. he's clearly shocked to see you calling, and he makes a noise of concern when he hears you sob.

"wh- where's hyuntak?" your voice is shaky and small as you barely gasp out your words.

juntae swallows and tries to put a comforting voice on. "ah, he just left right now in a hurry. don't worry, he's on h-" you hang up the call before juntae can finish his sentence.

why are you crying? why did you automatically assume the worst of hyuntak? you fumble with your door code before slamming it shut and collapsing on your bed.

hyuntak would never do that, he's never done anything to make you think he would do that. you cry harder knowing that you were a bad girlfriend for instantly assuming the worst of him.

a memory of minseok arguing with you appears in your head, and you can't stop it from replaying in your mind.

"why are you making such a big deal out of nothing? it's just one fucking date, i don't get it," minseok scoffs in your face with an annoyed expression.

you blink away a few tears and try to reason with him again, "i'm just upset that you waited 30 minutes to tell me. if you knew you couldn't make it, why did you make me wait so long? also you always do this, it's not a one off thing."

"do i have to tell you everything? seriously, it's not even that bad. you're lucky i'm still with a pathetic bitch like you," minseok's words stab into your chest, and you can't help a small sob that bubbles out of you.

"minseok, it's about the principle of it. you don't respect me or my time-" a stinging sensation on your cheek interrupts you and you realize that minseok has slapped you.

"respect this and respect that. why can't you just fucking shut up and respect my ears? nobody wants to listen to your feelings, okay? get it in your head, god. so fucking annoying for what," minseok walks away from you and leaves your house, slamming the door behind him. before he's out though, he looks at you and you hear him mutter "such a crybaby."

you hold your cheek in shock. did minseok just slap you? remembering what he said, you burst into more tears. he was right, you really were a crybaby.

you're too worked up to notice that hyuntak has opened the door to your house, and that he's standing in your room's doorway.

hyuntak freezes, not knowing what to do.

"reader.. are you okay?" he tentatively asks, slowly approaching you. you look up at him but all you can see is his vague silhouette through your tears.

you can't see his worried expression, and you mistake it for annoyance.

"'m sorry for- for leaving the night market." you hiccup slightly, "'m okay i promise, i'm fine,".

hyuntak steps closer to you and moves his hand to your face to wipe away your tears, but you flinch and block it with your forearm.

something in hyuntak's heart breaks at the amount of fear you held towards him. "reader, you're not fine and we both know it. can.. can i touch you right now?" hyuntak wants to hold you in his arms and let you vent out all your worries but he's scared you'll flinch again.

you nod shakily, scooting over on your bed. hyuntak sits next to you slowly, making sure you're not scared. the tears still haven't stopped and you furiously wipe at them as if that would stop it.

"you're going to hurt yourself, stop it." he says softly and lightly grabs your hands. your face hangs low, too ashamed to face him.

hyuntak gently you into his arms, letting you cry into his chest. he starts rubbing your back soothingly. he doesn't know what happened, but he needs to comfort you first before anything.

"reader, it's okay. i'm here for you,"

taking in what he said, you hold onto his hoodie a little tighter. hyuntak was too good for someone like you. even if it was selfish, you wanted to hold onto him so tight he would never leave.

after minutes of constant reassurance and soothing from hyuntak, you've calmed down to small sniffles and hiccups.

hyuntak takes a breath in before asking, "do you want to talk about it?".

you contemplate it. you guys have been dating for 4 months now, and he still has no idea of minseok. deciding it was time for him to know, you started to tell him about what he was like.

the entire time, hyuntak is listening with rage brewing in his veins. he hugs you more protectively, as if he's shielding you from a ghost of minseok. when you finish speaking, hyuntak swallows carefully.

"he would hit you?" he asks through gritted teeth, "and would do all that while cheating on you?".

you nod slowly into hyuntak's chest, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "i just.. let him. it's my fault," hyuntak shushes you quickly.

"don't ever say that, it's his fault to begin with. he was actively manipulating you, and you still blame yourself?" hyuntak rants, becoming increasingly upset.

he was angry that someone treated you so badly, and how he wasn't able to protect you.

"thank you for telling me reader. i love you so much," hyuntak pulls you away from his chest so you can look at him directly. "please, never forget that. you will always be the most beautiful, strongest girl i know."

your eyes start to water before you know it, but this time it's from happy tears. "i love you too hyuntak, i'm sorry for being so.. insecure," you admit.

hyuntak shakes his head, "never apologize for that," he moves his hands to cup your face and wipe your tears, "whenever you feel like that, i will always be here for you. talk to me, please."

"i will, i promise." it feels like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. knowing that hyuntak will always support you makes you tear up again, but this time from happy tears.

"i love you, hyuntak"

"i love you too, reader."

fin

a/n sorry for the wait! i hope this fits what you wanted <3

[seokminfilm]

only yours ── choi seungcheol

🤍 pairing, choi seungcheol x reader

🤍 warnings, non-idol au, short, fluff, a little bit of angst, secret relationship, jealous seungcheol, seungcheol lowkey has an attitude, mingyu is mentioned to be a flirt, kissing, confession, seungcheol calls reader darling/angel

🤍 summary, in which seungcheol wants to know that you're only his.

🤍 author's note, hi guys *walks back into posting like i haven't been missing for ages* guess who's back! saw these coups pics and legitimately almost exploded into pieces of colorful confetti cause he's so fine 🧍knew i had to write something w these pics (PLUS lyrnation seems to LOVE my seungcheol fics for some reason) 🤷 i hope you all enjoy it, and thank you so much for 500 followers!! halfway there to 1k wtf???

🤍 now playing, xo (only if you say yes) (enhypen)

🤍 word count, 689 | for @kstrucknet, @maestro-net

"wait—what if someone sees?"

you pull away from seungcheol hurriedly, cheeks still warm with blush as seungcheol cradles your chin with his hands. he's searching your eyes, too focused on what was happening before even saying anything. the two of you had retreated to the car after mingyu had to say goodbye.

("retreated to the car" basically meaning that seungcheol had pulled you out of there as soon after mingyu said he had to go.)

"let them see, darling. i can't wait anymore." seungcheol pouts, and you don't even try to fight him, letting him bring his lips back to yours as he sighs dreamily under you.

it had been a long day for seungcheol—the two of you had decided to hang out with mingyu since his plans with everyone else were canceled last minute, and mingyu had flirted with you the whole time, unknowingly upsetting seungcheol in the process.

seungcheol knew that you loved him and were his girlfriend, but seeing mingyu attempt cheezy pickup lines and buy you lunch made seungcheol see red.

and, what made it even worse, was that you didn't even seem to notice that mingyu was flirting with you, going along with his acts of kindness without a second thought.

"seungcheol—" you pause, sentence swallowed by another one of seungcheol's warm kisses against your lips. "seungcheol, wait."

"what?" seungcheol's voice is nearly a growl now, and you put a hand on his chest, softly pushing him away as you pause to catch your breath.

seungcheol waits patiently, dark eyes glued to your figure as the setting sun lights up your back in a halo of light. you look beautiful in this moment—so beautiful seungcheol just wants to kiss you even more.

"did i do something? why are you acting like this?" you ask innocently, and seungcheol lets his head fall against the chair, letting out a pained sigh as he runs a hand through his dark hair. his thick eyebrows crease together, pouty lips pressed together as he glares at you.

"cheol, use your words, oh my god." you sigh exasperatedly, and seungcheol rolls his eyes, cheeks heating up as he crosses his arms.

"mingyu was flirting with you, and it was pissing me off. hell, it still is pissing me off, angel." seungcheol's voice is low, embarrassed, and you stare at him with confusion painted all over your face as you repeat his words. "mingyu? flirting with me?"

"yes, he was flirting with you. did you hear all the stupid pick-up lines he was using on you? the asshole even paid for your fucking lunch. that's my job." seungcheol argues, and your eyes widen, face flushing.

"i just thought he was being nice." you mumble embarrassed, and seungcheol rolls his eyes, slamming them shut as he mumbles. "of course you did, angel. you think everyone's nice."

the two of you fall silent, cheeks flushed for different reasons. you sit quietly, stunned that seungcheol had reacted to mingyu's flirting in such a way. seungcheol, on the other hand, was flushed because of anger. mingyu had his time to steal you away today, and you unknowingly let him.

"oh. i'm sorry." you whisper, and seungcheol shakes his head, looking at you as he takes your hands in his.

"no, don't be sorry, darling. if anything, i should be apologizing because of how i reacted. i—" seungcheol pauses, taking a sharp inhale as he shrugs, jean jacket ruffling with his movements. "it made me so angry, seeing mingyu flirt with you like that. i never wanted to have the world to know you were mine more than in that moment.

you lock eyes with seungcheol, studying the strong slope of his nose and the plumpness of his lips. his thick eyebrows are unfurrowed now, resting against his face calmly as he gives you a small smile.

"you're mine though, right? not mingyu's?" seungcheol asks softly, and you nod, laughing as seungcheol leans over. his face is now just a few centimeters from yours, and he tucks your hair behind your ear, staring into your eyes as you answer.

"yours, cheol. only yours."

[chaostudee]

Hi can you write a lando norris x horner!reader fc ( hannah dodd) you can choose the plot smau pls

wildflower, lando norris

summary : y/n y/ln is a well known actress in the film industry and lando norris a top driver in formula 1. they had grown up together but had since grown apart and developed a hatred for another. after a public spectacle lando norris's manager suggests a pr relationship with none other than y/n y/ln. faceclaim : hannah dodd a/n : first request <33 hope u like it alsooo i love hannah dodd smm but the ogs know her from find me in paris but her in bridgerton omdss. also apologies in advance but this is like rlyyyy long. p.s alexandra liked my comment on tiktok 😭

y/nusername some bts for you 💐

liked by christianhorner, maxverstappen, kellypiquet and 782,829 others.

user728 the best casttt

username12 acc can't wait for s3

user99 my comfort people forever

user342 love u smmm y/n you're the best !!

y/nfan ik this season is going to be so insane

user689 so so excited like when s2 came out i binged it in one day (yes i am a bit insane)

user44 help no cause that's so real

y/nlover y/n was made for period dramas

y/nusername

》 OMG YES YES OUR QUEEN IS FINALLY COMING BACK WE MISSED YOU

》 MISSED YOU AT THE RACES

》 WE BETTER GET MAX AND Y/N CONTENT I LOVE THEM SMM

》 everything is right in the world

》 the redbull princess

maxverstappen friends and family

liked by christianhorner, y/nusername, kellypiquet and 3,588,459 others.

y/nusername i missed p smmm

kellypiquet trust we know you did you literally facetimed her twice a day

user67 i just know y/n is going to be such a good mother one day

username chestappen lover here 🤭

user44 awww it is rare that we get posts like this from max

username75 y/n is literally like max's sister atp i acc love their relationship smm

y/nusername great to be back 🏎

liked by maxverstappen, alexandrasaintmleux, carlossainz and 928,071 others.

user728 our unbothered queen

user459 not max and lando literally beefing on the first lap and then the camera pans to y/n smiling and waving like pllsss why is sky so messy like that

alexandrasaintmleux need your style so bad

user678 so happy to see her smile again

username124 i just can't get over y/n and lando like i refuse to believe that they don't ever talk like that's crazy to me

f1fan FR they literally grew up together user22 yesss christian was like a second father figure in his life

user889 can we talk about how her fit are the ferrari colours i alwaysss knew she was just like meee

user99 imagine your father being an f1 team principal likeee why not meee

landonorris tough race today after a collsion on the first lap but we will come back stronger

liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, f1fan and 2,578,227 others.

user56 totally your fault mate

user22 who do u think you are

username78 never hated you up until now

user299 thanks for screwing up max's race

f1fan i'm sorry lando i love you but that was uncalled for

user99 i stand with my cancelled wife 🧍‍♀️

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between lando and manager

this isn't good is it? lando

no lando no it's not manager

everyone is taking it wayyy out of context lando

ik ik manager

so what do we do lando

i might have an idea but you have to trust me manager

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

y/nusername a night out in monaco

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen and 866,358 others.

user677 girl is just everywhere atm

user34 oooo i spot those ferrari's

username45 serving faceeee

akexandrasaintmleux had the best time with you !

y/nusername me toooo can't wait to do it again

y/nfan omggg she was with charles and alex in a club so insaneee

user000 y/n is actually so classy and chic

f1updates lando norris and y/n y/ln spotted in monaco earlier today

liked by justaninchident, f1fan, user67 and 539,795 others.

user57 EXCUSE ME?!

user674 😮

f1fan the ogs are crying rn

user67 yesss i can confirm

username57 am i being pranked rnnn cus wtfff

f1lover this has to be pr like there is no they just decided to meet up on random tuesday and get papped like nuh uh

user00 ya'll are mad but i'm happy asf like idc if it's fake or not they still interacted

user223 a win is a win

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between lando and y/n

i'm only doing this for the money y/n

trust me ik you are lando

well you've always been materialistic lando

wowww says the one who literally has over 20 flashy cars just for show y/n

whatever em my manager wanted to remind you that we have to start making posts together to yk let the public start a rumour about us dating or whatevs lando

ok y/n

ok? lando

yes fine i'll post something now y/n

thanks lando

i still hate you y/n

you can't hate me forever lando

yes i can y/n

well pls pretend that you don't infront of the cameras lando

i'm literally an actress y/n

oh yeah 😭😭 lando

what a muppet y/n

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

y/nusername family dinner

liked by christianhorner, landonorris, maxverstappen and 1,282,728 others.

user627 FAMILY DINNER WITH LANDO NORRIS?¿

user82 am i seeing what i think i'm seeing

username62 i'm so confused rn because whaaaaa

user56 there is no way christian is okay with thisss

f1fan y/n is just living that life

user34 i still think this is pr because it's so typical that they are seen together after all the hate lando is getting

username123 waittt this lowkey makes sense

username46 helpp the pic of christian im peeing

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

texts between max and y/n

YOU AND LANDO WHAT max

it's pr you dummy y/n

okay but still....you and lando.....you hate eachother max

yeah but we can just fake it infront of the cameras y/n

oh god y/n this is a horrible idea max

how he gets his reputation back and i get some money whats the big deal y/n

ohh is this about what he said about you over the radio y/n

nah nah i'm over that we're good we talked max

did he apologize y/n

actually ye he did max

wow you had to wait like a week for an apology while i've been waiting 8 years y/n

damn max

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

y/nusername start of press tour eek literally my fav part of the job

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, kellypiquet and 2,578,553 others.

user56 quick like norris quick like lando norris 🎶

user99 girl just tell us are you with lando or not

f1fan if she's happy i'm happy

kellypiquet forever in awe of your beauty

y/nusername stoppp ily smm

user56 lowkey obsessed with this fit

username688 oh i'm so ready for the press tour

f1lover do u think lando will will come with her on the press tour

user44 omgg yeah maybe he could because summer break has just started

landonorris my beautiful girl

liked by y/nusername, charlesleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux and 4,689,340 others.

user728 stoppp what is going onnn

user900 awww this is acc so sweet

f1fan lando is so so lucky

justaninchident omggg y/n drop the workout routine plsss

username516 hottest couple

user34 can't believe this is real

user13 they literally have hated eachother for years i'm so confused

y/nusername s3 out now enjoy !! (p.s i wish we all dressed like this on the daily)

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, maxverstappen and 748,457 others.

user56 omggg i just binged watched it it's so good i'm obsessed

user728 so so good y/n so proud of how far you've come

username how can someone be this perfect 🤭

f1fan she's serving cuntttt

user67 need that dress acc

alexandrasaintmleux just watched and can confirm that y/n is a sensation !!

landonorris

》 ughhh they are so so cute

》 we love a supportive bf

》 the math is not mathing

》 how? when? what? why?

》 y/n is so stinkin cute

*written*

as the sun began to set on the top of the waters in the far off distance, you let out a sigh, enraptured by the view. you had now been spending two weeks in mallorca in spain ans you'd be lying if you said you weren't enjoying yourself.

you and lando had just been for your evening meal and now you were walking along the beach which had become your nightly routine here in spain.

lando walks beside you hands in pockets as he looks right ahead him, but he notices as you begin to slow down.

you wince in pain as you made the idotic decision of wearing the most uncomfortable pair of heels you own. you take the heel and groan when you see a blister begin to form.

"you okay?" lando asks walking over to you and instructing you to lean on him. you oblige before setting down your feet and pulling away from him.

"yeah no no i'm fine"

"you can wear my shoes if you want i don't mimd" lando offers but you hesitate.

"but what about you?"

"it's not that far of a walk i'll be fine"

"you sure?"

lando nods and hands you his shoes, taking your heels off your hands. you slip onto lando's shoes and sigh in relief.

"thanks lan". lando' eyebrows raise at the nickname but he doesn't conplain and responds to you with a mindless shrug.

noticing that he still held a tight grip on your heels as you had begun to walk again you suggest to take them off his hands.

"i can take my heels back if you want" you offer.

"no no it's bother and you know i have to be the model boyfriend". you giggle and blush at this and imagine that what it would be like if lando was your real boyfriend but your thoughts are quickly brushed away when you remember that you are supposed to hate him. and he can certaintly not know you feel this way.

a camera shutter clicks which draws you from your thoughts and you jump at the sound.

lando grits his teeth. "the fucking paps".

you bite your lip nervously as you have never had good experiences with them before. upon noticing your nervous demeanour lando takes his hand in yours and nods at you before you walk up to the street.

your eyes widen as you notice all the photographers lining each side of the street.

"hey it's okay the apartment is not too far from here, i've got you"

you nod and allow lando to steer you clear of the paps as the scream nonesense and invasive questions. just as you are about to be out of their viewshot lando stops to kiss you on the cheek.

"what was that for?"

lando urges his head towards the dozens of photographers that were most likely ecstatic with their picture.

you nod in understanding but also in disappointment as you wished he had said there were no reason. but things like that don't happen in fake relationship. but god you wish they did.

landonorris

liked by y/nusername, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen and 4,379,906 others.

user772 omggg they spent summer together

username728 awww

f1fan just them

user728 mom and dad

f1lover nobody gets them like i do

oscarpiastri no wonder you aren't answering my messages

userw78 LANDO ANSWER OSCAR

user728 omgg did u guys see the paparazzi pics

justaninchident omggg yess they were so cute and the kiss on the cheek i was melting

y/nusername

》 LET'S GO LANDO

》 eeeeek i love them smm

》 oh im so ready for y/n's photo dump

》 so so cute

》 the it couple

y/nusername summer with bae

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, charlesleclerc and 782,117 others.

landonorris ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux miss you girl

y/nusername miss you moreee

user828 i love them sm i can't anymore

user2 omggg y/n's dress is so gorge

f1fan omg lando 👀👀

user27 idk who i want to be more

*written*

you had wanted to bring up ever since you had reunited for the purpose of the pr relationship yet it never seemed like there was an appropiate time. you were enjoying yourself far too much to ruin it and truthfully lando had for the most part had stopped being a jerk towards you.

lando pulls a beer from out of the near empty fridge before he pulls a chair beside you on the balcony. he looks over at you while taking a swig, taking a deep interest into how intense you were looking over at the horizon.

"something on your mind?" lando asks, now also fixating his vision on the far off distance.

you look at him when he says those words and part of you wishes you could prevent the words that come out of your mouth next.

"i was thinking about us....about what happened with us"

lando groans and rubs a hand down his face before setting down his beer. "please tell me you are joking y/n"

you stand your ground. "no i'm not i'm serious lando we need to talk about this".

lando looks at you with annoyance. "can't we just move on from it like we are actually being civil towards one another and now you want to start up something else".

"i wish i could move on but i can't until you apologize"

lando tuts. "well i'm not going to do that".

your eyes widen in shock, you can't believe that he just said that to you, and so boldly too.

lando blows out a breath. "i don't regret picking mclaren over you".

his words are like a knife to the stomach and even lando flinches at the words just spoken. you sit there motionless for a moment before standig up.

"i'm going home"

"wait what no y/n what do you mean".

"i mean i'm going home".

you get up and make your way to the bedroom, pulling the suitcase from underneath the bed and packing anything that you can find belonging to you into it.

"y/n stop being so dramatic you don't have to do this"

you look back at him, angered. "yes yes i do because just as i was starting to have one ounce of trust for you, you basically tell me that i meant nothing to you back then".

"y/n-"

"no don't you say another word i'm done and so are we, and if i see your mangaer contacting me i swear to god" you blurt out so angered with him there are a milliom thoughts waiting to emerge.

those were the last words spoken as you rush out of the apartment slamming the door behind you leaving lando stood there in regret. as much as he wanted to run after to you, he was rooted to the spot because deep down he knew that you deserved better than him. and deep down he knew that you knew that too.

texts between y/n and christian

hi y/n just wanted to check up on you sweetie because i've seen alot of stuff online christian

about me and lando y/n

well yeah christian

are you okay? christian

well yeah it was a pr stunt so it meant nothing to me y/n

A PR STUNT......so it wasn't real christian

no y/n

thank god i still hate him christian

dad 😭😭 y/n

so what happened christian

i mean i brought up the whole leaving us to go mclaren and we got in a heated argument and i just blurted out i can't do this anymore y/n

is that what you want? christian

wdym y/n

did u want to break up with him christian

okay you're being weird y/n

it's a simple question y/n christian

it was a pr relationship y/n

doesn't mean that you didn't want it to end christian

ugh stop confusing me and what do u care u literally said you hate lando dad like what y/n

i care because if he makes you happy i'm happy christian

alexandrasaintmleux lunch date with bestie and leo

liked by y/nusername, kellypiquet, charlesleclerc and 1,457,897 others.

kellypiquet the most gorgeous girls + leo

alexandrasaintmleux 😭❤️

user644 THE f1 wags

username7 i love themmmm

f1fan fangirling so bad rnnn

user829 OMG IMAGINE A GRWM WITH THESE TWO I'D DIE

f1lover we need outfit details

maxverstappen these two are both so stubborn that they won't even talk to eachother to try to work things out so i have to resort to coming on here. lando over the years i've got to know how much y/n means to you, you both grew up together drifted apart and have now found your way back to one another. please don't throw that away. and y/n even though you try to deny it you care, maybe too much. so please both of you just talk and try and sort things out becsuse p really misses auntie y/n and unce lando.

liked by landonorris, y/nusername, kellypiquet and 7,516,006 others.

user728 i'm acc sobbing

username672 Y/N AND LANDO LISTEN TO MAX

f1fan this was not on my 2024 bingo card

user12 max being matchmaker makes sm sense

f1lover "p misses auntie y/n and uncle lando" TEARS TEARS

*comments on this post have been limited*

texts between y/n and lando

hey.... y/n

so im guessing you saw max's post lando

i did yeah y/n

i agree with him funnily enough, we need to talk lando

i'm still mad at you but yes i care about you alot y/n

i care about you too lando

then why did you do it y/n

god i was young i was stupid and i rly thought it wouldn't affect you that much lando

how stupid were you?! y/n

very stupid lando

i'm so sorry y/n you didn't deserve any of the pain i gave you oh god i actually need to talk to christian aswell lando

well your about 8 years too late to apologize to my dad he like full on hates you y/n

so you don't hate me anymore lando

no silly but you can't be forgiven that easy y/n

i'll do anything to make it up to you lando

yeah you better y/n

landonorris my sweet girl i promise i will never let you go

liked by y/nusername, maxverstappen, kellypiquet and 5,729,629 others.

maxverstappen istg if you hurt her ever again i will find you

user728 😭😭 f1fan if i was lando rn i'd be shitting it username516 mad max has entered the building

f1lover thank you max *we all say in unison*

kellypiquet what max said

user517 i need to know the lore on what happened

username627 don't know how to feel rn lowkey

*written*

your hand slots into lando's as you look up at him to only find him looking directly back at you with his eyes full of lust.

you blush and smile shyly at him.

"can you believe that after everything we've been through that we ended up together"

"i can" lando says confidently, so confidently that you can't help but roll your eyes in annoyance.

"what i'm serious the minute we met i knew you were the one"

you raise your eyebrows, not believing anything that is coming out of his mouth. "you were five" you state, as you have a recollection of your first time meeting when he bumped into you on the way to the track.

"so, when you know you know". he takes his thumb and traces it across your cheek before leaning in to press his lips against your own. you could never get used to way that made you feel.

"wait wait but you hated me" u you interrupt, pulling away from him in a moment of realization.

"i never hated you i just pretended to"

it takes a moment for you to register his words as he look back at him in confusion."why".

"because the girl i was in love with hated me"

"you were in love with me?"

"always have been always will be"

and with that you bit back a grin. in that moment you couldn't be happier, not only had you regained a friend but earned a soulmate and you couldn't wait to see what the future would hold.

taglist ⭑.ᐟ

@lottalove4evelyn

@sweetestgirlintown111

@mxryxmfooty

@hadidsworld

@llando4norris

@heavy-vettel

@nichmeddar

@janeh22

@love2readd

@seonghwaexile

@depressedriches

[copperbadge]

This is my saga. (Transcript below images, behind the cut)

Transcript of a text message exchange between me and a few friends.

Me: My local Domino's sucked so bad last time they delivered to me that I stopped ordering from them like a year ago. Decided to get a pizza tonight and give them another chance…they no longer exist.

I then share a screengrab which states that my order was placed at 4:13pm today, but that Google's little preview window lists it as "Expected by January 9, 2024". This will be humorous later.

Me: Ordered from Little Caesars instead. They say my pizza will arrive sometime in the next four months. Also my delivery driver has been waiting to pick up my food for over 30 minutes. So they might not be wrong.

Friend K: Are you…cursed, Sam?

Me: Delivery driver bailed and was replaced with a new driver but when that happens the tracker doesn't understand what's going on, so now I'm watching my old delivery driver just drive off towards wrigleyville.

Friend K: NOOOOOO MY PIZZA

Me: As far as I know they still haven't made it. Nobody's picking up at the restaurant.

Friend C: You're gonna get a random pizza in four months.

Friend K: You'll be on your 734,845th driver by then.

Me: So the first driver was there for 30 minutes, got fed up, told the app the store was CLOSED, and left. Second driver heard the store was closed and didn't check, just left himself as the driver because he couldn't cancel an order at a closed restaurant. THIRD DRIVER has just arrived and confirmed the store is open but in the weeds. The pizza I ordered at 4:15 is arriving at 6pm, but I did get a refund because of the late delivery.

I then share a screengrab which shows the Doordash "tracker" map with a bold text header reading Your Order Was Cancelled. There is a large "top hat" emoji covering downtown Chicago so you all can't see my address in the app.

Me: …or this could happen.

Friend C: No pizza for u.

Me: I literally haven't ordered any food delivery in months because it just wasn't worth the hassle every time. This time I was like "maybe if I just chill it'll be fine." This is like the time I ordered Papa John's and they called me to break the tragic news that they were out of pepperoni.

[bloodgors]

HEY, I'M STILL GETTING READY!

featuring: needy blue lock rivals ... (isagi, kaiser, rin)

synopsis: while getting ready for a date between the two of you, they just can't seem to wait til' after the days affairs to get their hands on you.

note: i apologize for not being able to write for the rest of the bllk boys, this is a semi-introductory post as i've not been on the anime side of fic-blr in a while which is why i wanted to keep things to a minimum !! i plan 2 write for needy uber boys soon—lmk thru asks if there's anything/anyone specific you guys would like <3

content warning: literally just smut mdni, fem!reader, nipple sucking, swearing, fingering, spitting, cum swallowing, overstimulation, kaiser impact is REAL, use of german petnames (prinzessin = princess, engel = angel), dacryphilia, face fucking, established relationships :DD

isagi yoichi

"hey, 'sagi, do you think pink or green would be best suited for today? actually..." you bring a hand along with the hanger it held to your chest thinking.

the night before, you'd stayed at isagi's place, waiting for some heavy rain to die down. when it never did, you ultimately gave up and slept with him in his bed.

only after you ate breakfast is when he brought up the idea of a little cafe date, which led you here, seeking a second opinion on what to wear—and what better person was there to ask than your beloved boyfriend?

"would blue be better? i don't know what you like..." you turn around to place the hangers a mix of pink and green on his bed. that's when you don't notice a pair of arms creeping behind you.

"first off," isagi's breath fanned your skin, his dark blue hair clouding your vision. "i like everything on you no matter the color."

his fingers coarsely made their way to the back of your bra. "i think i'd like you best with nothing on right about now." isagi stuffed his face into the small of your neck, waiting for your permission to undo the hook.

"baby, we won't be able to go to the café you want if we do this." you paused to gasp as you felt his tongue flat on the spot of your neck that made you feel hazy. "b-but, just this once, i'll allow it."

you're immediately relieved you made your decision as you felt your bra fall slack to the ground, and your boyfriend's head and hand there to replace it. his skillful hands that were once used to ball into fists of victory, were now being used to pinch at your nipples to try and find victory in your satisfaction.

and boy was he happy.

"wait, 'sagi! i— if you keep this up, i won't wanna stop, and.." you look down at him, your hands stuttering not knowing where to position themselves.

he found this endearing and took his free hand to guide your hand to ruffle his hair, you hear him, although muffled with his cheek against your now wet breast, "why would you wanna stop now? i mean, i don't wanna stop... can't we just cancel for today and go to a restaurant later? 's not like it's the weekend tomorrow."

damn it, and who were you to go against the isagi yoichi? his easygoing, friendly, and cheery personality was nowhere to be seen. it's all that ego-isagi here you saw on television.

fuck. looking at him more intently, you swore you could see little white swirls in his eyes as he turned his head to keep sucking on your boob.

after lactating, you felt your nipple almost numb from how persistent isagi had been on tasting you. his fingers trailed down and dipped into your panties, letting out a grunt when he realized how wet you were.

"baby... 'm sorry for neglecting you all this time." he nudged his head against your stomach before keeping his hand in place, standing to meet your gaze. "i'll make you and i both feel good today, yeah?"

...

your bare back was pressed against the wall that seemed colder than ice compared to your hot-to-the-touch skin that'd been ignited by isagi's flame. his free hand skimmed over your skin, feeling it up, whereas his right hand was fixated on abusing your sopping cunt.

"isagi, slower—puh.." before you could finish your plead, his fingers instead sped up, you yelped when his thumb finally started rubbing at your clit.

your tongue hung out of your mouth, to isagi, this was a nice invitation to dance with the fleshy organ. he started with a sweet kiss, and it turned more and more lewd each second that passed as your moans grew louder.

as your muscles spasmed, you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you, senses all restrained from your high. your hands weakly clung onto isagi, he responded by hugging you, his hard-on noticeably rubbing against your bare pussy.

he used his hand to squish your face together while also bringing it up to face level.

"please?"

micheal kaiser.

you walk out dripping from a shower, a white towel neatly tied along your body to hide all the goodies from your chest and down. now standing by the mirror, you admire a micheal kaiser standing by the doorframe of your bathroom, and he watches as you plug in your hair dryer.

"prinzessin, are you almost done?" he sighs, resting his head against the door case, knowing damn well you weren't, just asking to annoy you.

you don't answer him and you lock eyes with him through the mirror wearing a "you already know the answer" type of look.

kaiser waves his hands in mercy, turning around to head over to your shared bed connected to the bathroom. you hear the faint sound of some sort of audio that'd been popular on tiktok before you switch on the hair dryer—that'll keep him occupied, you thought.

why was he so inpatient anyway? you were getting ready for the movies, after all, you wanted to look presentable with clean hair, a clean body, and some cute clothes! he should be able to wait patiently til his girlfriend gets all glammed up.

while you were about half-way done with drying your hair, you see your blonde boyfriend walk behind you, his arms stopping, encasing you in a space between him, and the sink.

"what now, kaiser?" you point the dryer at his hair at an attempt to annoy him, which didn't work, and even more surprisingly, didn't result in a string of complaints from him.

"how come you're being so annoying, huh?" you froze and turned off the blow dryer to hear him better. you then turned your body to look at him—no way he just called you annoying for drying hair.

"you're looking so fucking good and expect me not to want you to hurry?" kaiser's face gets closer to yours and you watch as his eyebrow twitches in annoyance, his parted lips ever-so-slightly chapped.

you purposely thrash your head back, so as to avoid the proximity. "i guess i'll just have to take longer, y'know, 'cause you interrupted me and all." you smile as you watch from the corner of your eyes, his cheeks go red with annoyance.

"oh, fuck no." are the last words he almost whispers before he suckles on your neck. you feel your heart beat as loud as a drum, shit, could he hear it too?

kaiser's lips left your neck, tongue still tracing little circles and hearts. your hand naturally flew to grip his back, while the other grabbed him by the hair to face level.

his expression was oh-so lewd, spit dribbled all over his chin, his mouth.. oh god his mouth. his mouth was gaping open, tongue still hanging out desperate to get another lick at your flesh. how could you not want to kiss that adorably needy face?

as you were about to lean in for a kiss, he gets down on his knees and looks up at your frustrated face. "go on, dry your hair. i can't wait and don't want to be late for the movie, so it's efficient to just do please you like this."

you stutter, "but, the same movie's on tomorrow can't we just," you sharply exhale as you feel the cold air hit your damp skin after kaiser yanks your towel off of your body. his eyes glare at you, knowing it was a sign to obey.

kaiser wasn't one to intently eat your pussy while all needy for his own pleasure. this'd be easy, or at least easier than usual.

boy, were you wrong.

you find yourself clenching the rim of the sink, head looking down to take a glimpse of kaiser. there he was, the bottom-half of his face covered in your cum.

"ka— kaiser! wait, i can't take anymore! i already came..." tears start to drop and land on his skin, that fuckin' baby-soft skin of his. he sure was enjoying this, that damned dickhead.

"yes, you can, do it for me engel." the vibrations from his voice paired with the unholy moans he emitted as he watched your body roll to the movements of his tongue drove you over the edge.

with shaky legs, you backed off of micheal kaiser and his now stained white face. he got up off his knees and wiped excess cum off his face with his index finger, only to stick it in your mouth.

spit messily made it's way down your chin, your eyes met his when you saw him fixated on your tongues movements, his eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly parted.

you swallowed and smiled.

"kaiser," you caught his attention with your out-of-breath call. "how 'bout i return the favor?"

itoshi rin

you sat at the vanity in rin's room applying lipstick as the final step of your makeup routine. you watch in the mirror as you see a slouched rin approaching, you smiled at the juxtaposition between the things you'd moved into his room, and rin's space itself.

rin crouched down and held your waist with both arms, mumbling into your hair. "i miss you." you smiled into the mirror, watching as the tiniest bit of his face got into frame.

"rinnie, i'm right here, how're you gonna miss me?" you cooed at him, still applying your lipstick after letting him distract you.

suddenly, you felt strong hands on both sides of your face turn your head, effectively smudging your lipstick on your cheek.

"itoshi! we're gonna be late to the dinner reservation now!" you whined at him, headbutting his forehead. rin pouted at the sudden use of his last name, it felt so foreign coming from your lips, he thought.

you sigh in regret as you see a pink mark from the sudden hit appear on his forehead, kissing it trying to ease his pain. "you're awfully clingy today, rinnie."

almost as if ignoring your observation, rin's eyes avert to the mirror to see himself after watching your lipstick fade into a lighter red after the peck. "hey, pay attention to me!"

"kiss me again, on the cheek this time."

"what?"

"you heard me."

you gave an experimental peck to his cheek before finally taking note of the mark it'd left. oh, so that's why he looked into the mirror. blush creeped it's way onto your face, now realizing how oblivious you looked.

"why so embarrassed? now we're matching, it's kinda... hot."

a little bit of blush showed itself on rin's face too, he scratched at the nape of his neck after that bold remark of his.

as if by a trance, you pulled rin into a kiss, switching your spots, with him sitting in the vanity stool, his strong arms pulling your legs into his lap. your kisses trailed down his neck, quiet moans escaping rin's throat.

your hips started grinding themselves against his, head dipping down as a response to the pleasure. "f-fuck, rin." you muttered, grip on his back tightening. his hold on your legs tried keeping them in place, and you could tell he was failing with how his teeth gritted together.

"d-don't go any farther, y/n."

your head tilted, "why?"

"i'm afraid i won't be able to hold back."

your hands came down to caress his which softened the grip he had on your legs. to take advantage of the situation, you experimentally bounce on his lap—a very uncharacteristic and lewd moan falling from his lips.

and that's when you knew it was it for rin itoshi.

..

there were a list of outcomes you could've thought of, maybe bouncing on his cock while watching yourself in the mirror, or even grinding on his thigh as punishment for teasing him. never did you think you'd be on your knees, having your face getting fucked by your boyfriend.

the sight was amazing though. a ring of white slick pooled at the base of his cock, along with a mixture of your red lipstick. if you looked up, you could see rin itoshi, face the color of your lipstick, mouth wide open with guttural sounds releasing from his throat every now and then.

"fuck, baby—your makin' a fuckin' mess of me." his hands push your head even closer to the base despite how impossible it seemed before, his moans revealing it all. "lipstick's fuckin' everywhere."

you hummed around his length, vibrations helping with sending him to his high. rin's muscles spasmed, his hands leaving your head, trying to grip the edge of anything and everything as to stabilize himself.

you pulled off of his dick, hot strings of white shooting onto your face and hair. smiling, you stick out your tongue to lick some cum that'd fallen at the corner of your lips.

"i'm a mess, guess it looks like we won't be going anywhere."

"you're.." he gasps out of breath. "you're a perfect looking mess, y/n."

like + reblog if u read this far,,, ily!

[evalevaeva]

If he wanted to, he would | yeon sieun

-"to be loved, is to be seen"

The promotional advertisement on your phone screen reflected into the pupils of your eyes as you skipped down the hallway to class 1 at the end of the corridor.

You slid the door with a thud as several students looked at you but paid no attention as you skipped over to the desk next to Sieun, your lover, as rested your chin onto your palms.

"Sieun, there's a promotion at Sooho's workplace for frozen beef rolls, you said that we could go this week, right?" You asked the stone-faced boy as he tapped on his earpieces once, muting the music, and turned to you with a sigh.

"I can't. I have to study for the mid-terms," Sieun responded as he tapped on his earpieces and continued writing mindlessly onto the paper in front of him.

The smile that was on your face a few seconds ago had dropped into a disappointed look as you got up to leave the class, not sparing the boy another look.

This wasn't the first time. If it had been, maybe you would've let it slide. Twelve times. Twelve times this has happened within the span of two months, and your patience was beginning to break. Excuses after excuses, and it never seemed to end. He never made time for you, and it looked like the future of the relationship was bleak.

You dragged your feet down the hallway as you looked at your phone screen, seeing the texts from your friend, Jinsung, whom you had rejected to go out with due to your prior 'plans' with Sieun.

"The invite is still here! I'm still up for the cafe! Haha, it'll be good to spend time with someone who actually speaks instead of someone who would rather stare at a textbook than have a proper conversation with you!" Jinsung joked over text as you gave it a thought.

Sieun never really cared about where you went and it's not like he could dictate where you went, so why not?

You couldn't help but have a small smile on your face as you twirled in front of the mirror. It had been a while since you got to dress up and go out. Your hair was curled, and your lips were pink. The golden rays of the sun were already reaching your bed, and in a few hours, the sun would set. You grabbed your purse and switched off the lights in the house, taking one last glance at the quiet house before twisting the door knob to the front door and opening it.

"Sieun?".

The boy was about to walk past your house to get to his house but stopped in his tracks when he saw your door open.

"You're all dressed up, I thought we already cancelled plans?" Sieun asked as he stared at your face, waiting for an answer.

"I'm going out with a friend," you answered, looking around, feeling awkward in front of your boyfriend.

"Who? The one that plays basketball every day and doesn't have a single care for his studies or his future?" Sieun asked sarcastically, scoffing as you stood up straight, processing what he had just said.

"Watch your mouth Sieun, today is the only day he's not going to the study room to hang out with me," You responded, looking at the boy in the eye as his gaze became sharp.

"You're dressed so nicely just to go out with him?" Sieun asked as his lips were stuck in the line that resembled the line that was beginning to crack into the relationship between the both of you.

"At least he made the effort to find time to spend time with me, Sieun! Every day of every week of every month, I ask you to spend even just a little bit of time with me, and you can't even do that! I get that studying is important, but you can go out with Sooho, but never with me. What's wrong with me to the point that you don't want to spend even one phone call with me?!" You couldn't help but shout at the boy in front of you as you shoved your finger into his chest with every word you said.

You meant it. You meant every single word.

It hurt. It hurt to be the one that he would turn to whenever it was convenient. To be the second choice, but to him, you were 'his first choice'. You never were, and you never felt that way either.

By then, tears had already begun sliding down your cheeks as your heart practically shattered in your chest. Everything you tried to keep together, to seem like you had everything under control came crashing down.

Sieun was shocked at your outburst. You were his first choice and he was sure you knew that.

"You know that I'd choose you every time," Sieun tried to console you, reaching out for your hand as you snatched it away, already feeling the hurt engulf your entire being.

"Knowing is different from feeling, Sieun. You can't expect me to understand your love language when it isn't mine, because I will never understand it."

You couldn't take it, just his face was enough to make more tears stream down your face as you slipped back behind the door and locked it behind you.

The loud knocking behind you was evident that he was still there, looking for you, but why did it take such drastic actions for him to finally be the one to reach out? The one to give any speck of effort? To finally make you feel like you were even a thought in that academic-filled brain of his. It was too late.

______

hello everyone, did you miss me? :]

[makeyoumine69]

Last Memory (Memory Reboot x5)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Patrick Bateman x gn!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: Some time after Patrick and Evelyn got married, Bateman thought he could live a normal life and finally forget about you, but he didn't realize that he was already starting to lose his grip on reality, slowly but surely.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: NSFW, Patrick's POV, angst, lots of sex, canon violence, blood, near-death experiences, dark themes, obsession, strong hallucinations, blowjobs, pussy eating, rough vaginal and anal sex, cum eating, tainted love vibes, drug use, depressing thoughts and intentions, blackout and fainting, rough choking, spanking, masturbation, cheating, dirty talk and slurs, pet names, degradation kink, self-harm and panic attacks implied, unstable Patrick is a warning himself, I might have forgotten something because this chapter is long af, so forgive me if I really did.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 15k

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐂: VØJ, Narvent—Last Memory; Timecop1983—Back to You

ᴀ/ɴ: Hello dear readers, I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but I just wanted to make this chapter as good as possible! After several rewrites, I think I am finally happy with the result. I'm very sad that Memory Reboot will end in the next update, but I hope you enjoy this angsty story! Also, there are some easter eggs in this chapter, so be on the lookout! And please be aware that there is a lot of trigger material in this chapter, so be careful! Thank you so much for sticking with me, you are all incredible!

𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: [MASTERLIST]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]

An annoying, sonorous alarm sound woke me up and I had to hit it with my fist, almost breaking it, to make it fucking stop. Yawning, I sat on the bed and realized that I was still in Evelyn's apartment; these cream-colored sheets made me want to cry from how much I hate them, but instead of ripping them off, I stretched my arms. The tension in my body, coursing from my shoulders down to my groin, was an eloquent sign that I needed release. With a loud groan, I stood up and briefly grabbed my dick through my white underwear, which seemed to have been hard all night since that bitch Evelyn, who was my wife by the way, refused to have sex again. It was the second time in a row. Sliding my messy hair back, I walked into the living room and noticed that Evelyn had already left. I sighed with relief that I didn't have to see her irritated face since I was already on the verge of going nuts.    

In the kitchen, I took the bottle of Evian from the fridge and made a long gulp before checking the time on my Rolex, frowning right away as I remembered Evelyn yapping about me always keeping them on, even when I went to bed. 

God, why can't women have their mouths shut sometimes?

With a wry grin, I placed the bottle on the counter and paused for a moment to check my reflection in the gleaming metal door of the refrigerator. Today’s day in the office was going to be tough as hell since I had a fuck ton of stupid meetings I tried to convince Jean to cancel, but she reassured me that it would be too rude to ignore my business partners for too long. Hmmph…

A bit later, when I was almost finishing my work out, I suddenly realized that it had already been two months since me and Evelyn got married. And no, I couldn’t really believe this since all days were like one long day—a day that seemed to never end. Huffing, I did another push-up, the 50th in a row, feeling not tired at all. Small beads of sweat rolled down my tensed forehead and I could care less about brushing them off as I was so focused on the pleasant feeling of my muscles flexing each time my chest almost touched the mat. Normally, sports could easily help me to distract myself, to let off steam, to feel refreshed and clear-headed, but now I was more detached from reality than ever before. And it seemed that no amount of exercise could help. Also, my condition was aggravated by the lack of sex, proper sex. When my muscles finally began to hurt, I stopped doing everything and just lay on the mat, panting and looking at the ceiling above. Then, I slowly looked down at my groin—still hard as rock–before my hand involuntarily grabbed it, eliciting a small gasp to fall from my wet lips. Fuck, I was about to explode from my own touch. That was not normal at all. It was pathetic.

Frustrated, I was certain that even a quick release in the shower wouldn’t soothe my mounting tension. It never did, considering that over the past few days I couldn’t even sleep, and what was worse was that even violence couldn’t bring me this much-needed relief. As I made my way to the bathroom, I was thinking, literally drowning in my obsessive thoughts.

I need more…I really need to get this done. I REALLY NEED IT! I NEED THEM!

 I bit my lip and turned on the shower, then got rid of my white boxers, stepped out of them, and strided on the cold marble. The water washed over me like a tidal wave. I closed my eyes and let the steam splash along my flushed face. My skin felt like it was on fire, as if I were about to crash into the sun. I couldn't find any way to relax. I felt desperate and angry. I was pretty mad, too. But would killing you have helped me find peace? 

If I knew you were gone, if no one could ever be with you the way I was, would that be what I wanted?

 I let out a deep, exhausted sigh and pressed my forehead against the wet tiles, ignoring the way the tip of my cock brushed against the wall, sending tingles into my very core. The images of you covered in blood, trapped beneath me, almost sent me over the edge. I didn't let myself think about it for too long, though, because I knew it would lead to addiction. As if I weren't already hooked. My breathing got a little uneven, and I started scratching at the white tiles as I got hit by a sudden, intense rush of memories. I remembered your voice, your moans, and the way you screamed my name. I wanted to ruin you, to make you bleed, to tear you apart and leave you just like you left me. The pain you caused was so deep, it lingered. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't realize what I was doing. I let my hand rest on my throbbing length while the fingers of my other hand slid down my lower back, right between my legs. The moment I touched my tensed asshole, I moaned. I was loud and needy. I was embarrassed but also aroused. I thrust into my hand, slowly at first but gradually losing control, while my digit slid inside my ass completely with ease. I couldn't hold back my whimpers as I was about to cum. My vision was filled with blood, intensifying my fantasies about you. With my eyes closed, I was on the brink of losing it when I suddenly heard some commotion coming from behind the bathroom door. 

"Damn!" I groaned and hit the wall in front of me, my dick pulsing even after I let go of it.

"Honey," Evelyn's voice echoed through the bathroom. I turned to see her casually walking to the shower, her blue eyes curiously examining my bare frame as if she was seeing me like this for the first time. "You didn't close the door."

Fuck, I really didn't.

Scrunching my nose, I pushed my wet hair back and spun around completely, giving her the full view of my nakedness. "I thought I'd leave before you got back..." my reply was brash and sharp. "...at least I hoped so."

Evelyn didn't react, she just stood in front of the shower, blinking and staring at me—at the way the water flowed down my sculpted body, to be exact—and something told me that just watching wasn't going to be enough for her.

"So... are you just going to stay and watch?" I said aloud before opening the glass door and letting some steam out of the shower. 

The blonde grinned broadly but remained motionless. "You're not trying to bait me like that, are you?" 

Jesus Christ, this woman is really driving me crazy.

Irritated, still struggling with my boner, I wanted to drag her into the shower without even asking and make her freshly bought Chanel suit so fucking shitty that she would definitely throw a tantrum, but I managed to control myself.

Leaning against the wet glass, I watched her unclasp her jewels, gems that shone in the dim bathroom light, my hands instinctively slipping down to my aching cock as I was now the one watching Evelyn take off her jacket, the delicate shape of her collarbones forcing me to admit that my wife was, after all, absolutely gorgeous and even though I didn't feel anything... sublime towards her, I couldn't deny that every time she did things like that, she stirred up a burning desire in me.

"What if I do?" My voice dropped lower from the tension building at the base of my spine. "You'll find another stupid excuse to deny me, like you always do?" I gave myself a slow stroke, biting my lips and quickly licking them as Evelyn removed her blouse and placed her leg on the edge of the tub, pulling up her skirt so I could see her black stockings. "Why didn't you go for Bryce when you had the chance?"

My body stopped listening to me as I said these words, as if I was hypnotized, but I felt no remorse, only a pang of conscience for how pathetic I probably was right now, standing in the shower jacking off to the woman I didn't really love, who was probably having an affair with my best friend all this time as a bonus.

"And you're bringing up Bryce again," Evelyn murmured, grinning like a vixen, her hands working meticulously to remove her stockings, stopping only when she was done with her expensive clothes, leaving herself only in a white Vanity Fair lingerie I'd bought her a few days ago to stop her hysteria. "Why is this only bothering you now...after we got married?"

"W-what?" I almost choked on my breath, my hand around my cock stalled in its momentum. "What are you talking about? It...it never bothered me."

Still, her words struck a chord within me and now I was even more angry with myself than before. Evelyn obviously thought she was in control of this situation—her extra confident demeanor, the way she moved and talked, even her blue eyes looked different now, as a wicked spark glinted in them. 

For a fleeting moment, I just stood there, trying to lose myself in the warm streams of water, not really knowing what to say, and a suffocating panic crept into my chest, but then, as I found myself gripping the glass shower door with all the force I could muster so that it wouldn't shatter, my vision blurred for a second before I noticed Evelyn's slender body pressed against the glass, her small but pretty breasts looking so damn inviting that I couldn't hold back a groan.

"What were you saying?" She asked indifferently, the water gurgling mixing with her voice inside my head pulling me into a trance.

"Nothing," I replied, leaning forward and pressing myself against the glass door from the opposite side, my dick brushing against it ever so slightly, but even this mere contact made me close my eyes for a dear moment. "I said nothing..." my eyes darkened, pupils dilated. "Now...get in...will you?" I grinned and tilted my head, watching my wife flutter her thick eyelashes like bird wings.

Evelyn didn't answer, standing still with her body pressed against the shower door, and I couldn't hold back anymore—I just dragged her in, not caring about her expensive lingerie getting soggy—I'd buy her a new one if I had to. With a surprised squeal, she then giggled as the streams of water ran down her fit body, her elegant fingers stroking my cheek for a fleeting moment before I picked her up and turned her around to press her against the cool marble wall. Evelyn's gasp echoed through the bathroom, sending a shiver down my spine, as if I were really into her, into all of this, and if that was not me imagining you in her place, if that was not making me want to be somewhere else right now.

Somewhere where nobody could find me. Us. 

"Patrick," Evelyn's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "Can you hear me? The water's too hot..."

"Too hot?" I repeated, finding her statement so funny for no reason, but I cooled the water with my free hand anyway, still holding Evelyn in my arms as if she weighed nothing. "I'd say something like..."

"It's not the water that's making it hot, it's me," she cut me off, her face turning into a serious grimace, and for a second I felt like I was going to lose my shit. Is she making fun of me? "I've heard that enough, honey."

Frowning at that fucking nickname I really hated, I noticed the way she was pressing on my shoulders, implying that she wanted me to get her down on the floor, and I did—I didn't want to think, I didn't want to guess what was going through her mind—I just wanted to follow. To feel at least something beyond hatred and disgust. But I guess that was too much to ask.

Without saying a word, I knelt before Evelyn, leveled myself with her perfectly waxed pubic area, her breath hitching as I planted a soft kiss on her mound before tracing a finger along her wet from the water folds through the absolutely drenched fabric of her panties, which were now clinging to her like a second skin. I looked up at her with a mischievous grin, the water hitting my eyes painfully, but I held on to watch that raw need emanating from her body—savoring it like a vampire thirsty for blood.

My actions were smooth, calculated. When I got rid of her damp lingerie, I let the wet clothes that were now spread out on the shower floor fall to the ground, forgotten, and I was sure that Evelyn would have to throw them in a garbage can when we were done. The involuntary arch of her back, her hips brushing against my face and the moan she let out when the tip of my tongue flicked around her feverish clit, that was something I could live with. 

Letting Evelyn grind against my face, I began to eat her pussy more feverishly, my one hand holding her open while another was wrapped tightly around my hard dick as I jerked off in sync with my oral ministrations. It was actually a turn-on, but only because I managed to block out all thoughts of you... In another situation they would have helped me to orgasm, but now... now they would only destroy everything. 

I groaned when Evelyn pulled my hair harder than I liked, but I didn't want to punish her for it, not now, because I was still going to fuck her and this would be a perfect moment to show her how I felt and what I really needed. But then again, all of this made me feel pathetic in some odd, twisted way, that I was a starved dog who had to struggle to find barely any food to survive—what was my life—I was not living, I was surviving.

"Yes...yes...just like that," Evelen keened again as I tongue fucked her flushed cunt. "Keep...g-going..."

I could feel that she was so close to collapsing, it was kind of amusing how fast I could always make her cum, if only she knew that I always did it for myself, not for her, but for me. "Cum around my face," I spat out, my overalls buzzing from the tensind at the base of my cock; these little tingles were going to make me explode, but I didn't hesitate, increasing the pace of my own stroking. "Let it go. Now!"

My voice was muffled, gruff, I was sure its vibration only added to the overwhelming rush of bliss that was about to descend upon my wife as her legs began to tremble, her thigh on my shoulder jerking as I dipped my tongue inside her while my thumb caressed her oversensitive bud. And then she climaxed, convulsing and barely holding herself from screaming, I watched as she silenced herself with her palm, her eyes closed tightly, I reveled in such reactions, I always had, so I didn't stop as I wanted to prolong this scene—a scene full of fake emotions and this was just an echo of something I had experienced and lost— because if I stopped, I would fucking die.

Maybe this is what I always needed? Just to...stop existing?

Panting, I finally moved away from her hot, now swollen cleft, my own heart pounding so fast, but I couldn't move, I just stayed on my knees, the water falling on me like a heavy rain from that day I followed you to the airport and watched the plane take you away from me. For the second fucking time in a row.

Meanwhile, Evelyn was slowly coming down from her high, her chest heaving and falling so fast that for a moment I thought she was going to pass out, but then she turned and leaned against the wall, swaying her hips in the most inviting gesture I'd ever seen her make.

"Shit," I murmured almost imperceptibly, my basic instincts finally taking over. "You want me to fuck you?"

Gasping, she nodded and craned her neck to look back at me, I quickly stood and hugged her from behind, my lips tracing a short trail of kisses along her shoulder as I aligned myself with her entrance, she was so aroused and ready for me that I felt no resistance as I pushed myself into her malleable body. Just a few fleeting seconds for both of us to adjust before my pace picked up, the sound of wet flesh against flesh filling the room, and I pressed closer to Evelyn, her high-pitched moans fading in my delusions as I gave in—the images of you were so clear in my mind now that I clenched my teeth to hold back my own moans—I was weak and I hated myself for it.

Luckily Evelyn was on the pill so I didn't have to worry about a sudden pregnancy, but there was still some fear I tried desperately to ignore, my thrusts became ragged, raw and deep, I was about to spill myself inside her, both palms cupping her breasts, rubbing soft mounds, but then I squeezed them quite roughly and Evelyn's loud whimper was a sheer testament to my ferocity. Feeling my whole system shatter, I managed to stop myself from sinking my teeth into her neck as my vision turned white as I reached my peak with your name on my lips, though I never let myself say it out loud.

A little later that morning, as I dressed in my freshly tailored dark charcoal flannel double-breasted suit with wide white pinstripes, the sun was high in the zenith and its rays bathed Evelyn's bedroom in a soft golden hue. This brief encounter of intimacy with my wife gave me some hope that maybe there was still a chance to live a normal life, the one my mother and father always wanted for me, the American dream family they always told me about, but my parents never really tried to understand me, but since Sean chose a different path in life, not the RIGHT one, the legacy of my family fell on my shoulders.

Trapped in my thoughts, I didn't even notice the phone ringing somewhere next to me, I turned around to see a small black phone on the nightstand. At first I decided to ignore it, since I didn't really care about Evelyn's business, I didn't care at all, but this time something inside of me started to sting.

Who can call her at this hour?

With a soft click of my tongue, I finished adjusting my cufflinks and looked back at the buzzing phone, deciding to pick it up and find out who the hell was calling my wife. "Yes? Who's this?"

"Hello, Patrick," your voice crawled into my brain like a parasite, I swallowed, my skin covered in goosebumps and I sweated almost instantly. "How's it going? Don't you think it's a bit pathetic to think of me when you're banging your lovely wife?"

"You?" Was the only thing I managed to say. "Where did you get this number?"

I heard you laughing as if you were right next to me. "Tim gave it to me," you replied with blatant audacity. "Uh...you're not happy to hear me? That's a shame because I thought you missed me."

"Listen," I spat into the phone, gripping it so tightly that it was about to break in a half in my hand. "I don't know who you think you are...but believe me when I say I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FUCKING LIFE! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Patrick? Who are you talking to?" I turned to see Evelyn standing in the doorway, her blue eyes full of concern.

Caught red-handed, I took the phone away from my ear and chuckled. "It's just...a random call...nothing serious." When I said that, her face became even more worried. "Is something wrong, darling?"

Evelyn blinked several times before answering. "I definitely remember turning off the phone before I went to sleep...I always do..."

Her words hung in the air for some time before I could actually continue, and when I finally did, I tugged at my collar from the sudden lack of oxygen in my lungs.

What the fuck?

Under Evelyn's attentive gaze, I looked up at the receiver as if seeing it for the first time in my life, then I pressed it to my ear again and all I heard was silence—a deafening, eerie silence—even a single beep could not be discerned. My throat tightened uncomfortably and I felt like throwing up from the tight knot in my stomach, for I'd never felt such fear before.

"Patrick...are you okay?" The blonde woman asked, not daring to come closer. "Are you taking the medicine your psychiatrist prescribed you..."

"Evelyn!"

"No, I'm serious! This isn't funny Patrick, I'm scared," she suddenly confessed and I swore I couldn't remember seeing her so worried. "You need help...why don't you let people help you?"

With that Evelyn stormed out of the bedroom and I was sure she was crying. Damn women, never give you a chance to explain yourself. I cursed before slamming the phone down on its station with a thud, probably shattering the plastic, but who fucking cared? All they cared about was whether I was taking those fucking pills, but no one really cared about...me. 

It took me some time to calm down and finally go to work. I didn't talk to Evelyn before I left, as it was pointless in her current state. As soon as I was outside, I breathed in the fresh air and watched the passers-by walking here and there without even noticing each other, this scene I saw every day, I picked out my Walkman like in a slow motion movie, put the headphones on my head and then attached it to my belt, the next moment I heard Madonna's deep voice surging through my head.

The taxi ride to the Pierce & Pierce office took longer than usual because of the heavy traffic. When I finally entered the high-rise building, I didn't take off my headphones because I didn't really want to talk to anyone, I just walked through the long corridors like a ghost without a name. It was really interesting that I never really thought about my fucking coworkers constantly messing up my name—they didn't know who I was even though we met every week—but you—you remembered it so clearly, there wasn't a single day that you mistook me for someone else. Jean greeted me as always with her sweet smile. Today she wore a dress and high heels. I smiled at such details and pulled up my headphones so I could hear her. 

"Did I miss anything?" I asked casually, thinking I was late as I often was.

Brushing her blonde hair, my secretary rose from her seat, clutching her favorite notebook to her chest. "Timothy Bryce called to ask about lunch."

My eyebrows raised in skepticism at her words.

Bryce. Wants to see me after not talking to me for almost a week. Interesting.

"Uh, right, but I thought I had a pretty busy schedule today?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Well, yeah," she quickly opened her notebook and then raised her bright eyes to me. "But you have a little window..."

At some point, Jean's voice became as much white noise as Madonna's song, the lyrics of which slipped away from me like a leaf in the wind. The thought of Tim finally revealing that he and Evelyn were having an affair behind my back, as if they really thought I could be stupid enough not to notice, brought me a strange sense of relief. It was like an itchy splinter in your finger that you couldn't bring yourself to pull out, but you knew that the longer it stayed there, the worse it would get.

"Okay, Jean," I heaved abruptly. "Be a doll and make a rez in a good place. Then call Bryce back."

Jean was noticeably confused, but I was too overwhelmed with my own chaotic thoughts that there was no room for anything else. With a devoted nod, she returned to her seat and I opened the door to my office, where everything was the same, all things in the places I had left them. At least there seemed to be something constant in my life.

The rustling of chatter and the clinking of silverware against plates mingled in a wild cacophony of sounds I was quite familiar with—I was born in the middle of this madness, to say the least, the lush life of people like me was something you couldn't really avoid, though I never tried to avoid it, I enjoyed every little benefit I got from being rich. 

So now I was sitting in Delmonico's lash interior, holding a glass of J&B on rocks in one hand and a cigar in the other. I waited for Bryce to come and soon I noticed his approaching figure, his black hair slicked back as usual, and I even chuckled at how fucking punctilious this man always was. Tim ordered a glass of Russian vodka and some seafood appetizers. After a short casual conversation we both fell silent and just when I was expecting him to tell me the reason why he wanted to see me, he suddenly picked up a shiny cardholder and put it on the table, then took out a pack of cigarettes to grab one.

"New cardholder?" I asked, definitely remembering that Bryce used to have a different one. "Looks...nice."

"It's platinum," Timothy commented before lighting his cigarette, his gray eyes scanning the room before focusing on me. "It's a gift...from our mutual friend."

Friend?

I almost bit the inside of my cheek to the point of bleeding. "Really?"

Bryce let out a puff of smoke and pointed to my empty glass. "I heard you quit drinking," he grinned and dabbed the ash from his cigarette. "That you're on... some medication."

"I wonder who told you that," my jaw almost snapped in anger, I had to claw at my knee to regain some composure. "And yes, I had to take medication for a while...but I'm on a break now." I hoped he could tell by the tone of my voice that I wasn't going to continue this conversation. "Who else would know how it works better than you since you went through rehab. Am I right, Bryce?"

I knew how much he hated talking about it, so his recent bravado faded like a cloud of smoke, but his cheeky grin never left his face.

"I get it, I get it," he laughed softly before sipping his drink. "You definitely got off on the wrong foot today, but it's okay," the man swirled his glass in his hand, watching the ice cubes clink against its walls. "I just wanted to tell you that... you're definitely missing something. Or maybe I should say—someone."

Narrowing my eyes, I tilted my head to the side. "Maybe you can tell me something more...specific, or are we going to play that crappy guessing game?"

Bryce shifted in his seat and wanted to say something, but he was interrupted by two familiar voices—Craig and David.

Shit, why did those two idiots have to come right now?

The moment was ruined, and so was I.

"Wow, I can't believe my eyes! See, I told you they had a date," McDermott let out a loud chuckle, my fists clenched, and if we were somewhere else, preferably alone, I'd fucking break my glass against his smug face. "I called Jean and she said you two were having lunch together. Isn't that sweet?"

"Oh, fuck you, McDermott!" Bryce retorted, but he wasn't really angry. "Fuck you and your cheap jokes. Your sense of humor is as flat as the ass of that chick you met in the Tunnel yesterday. Besides, how was she?"

The Tunnel, that damn club that started all this shit. I closed my eyes and tried to shake off the unwelcome memories of that day, but all I wanted to do was leave this place. Bryce's words became a breaking point, they helped a cup of weights to turn to another side without him even knowing it. Slowly I rose from the table, ignoring any questions, dismissing them with a clumsy gesture.

This evening was destined to be spent in the Tunnel after everything that happened today. I didn't tell anyone about my spontaneous venture to find some escape in the nightclub full of drug-addicted chicks and yuppies like me. My mind was racing with the idea of doing some coke, all I had to do was find the dealer that Bryce and I always hang out with and get a gram. A very simple plan to forget about all the shit that was going on in my life for a while.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, they say.

As I strolled across the dance floor, I noticed the bar was pretty empty, so I decided to have a drink before finding the dealer, as the glass of whiskey I had at lunch was not enough. The bartender greeted me with a polite smile as he cleaned the bar. 

"Good evening, sir," the man took a shiny glass and set it in front of me. "What would you like to drink?"

"A J&B straight and a Corona." I replied, taking a seat and fumbling for my wallet.

The bartender nodded and went to get my drinks. While I waited, I looked around when I noticed the only person sitting at the bar—it turned out to be a redheaded girl, a very good looking one—I hummed to myself, absolutely sure that such a girl was definitely not alone tonight. 

"Your drinks, sir." The bartender placed an open bottle of Corona next to my glass, now filled with my favorite whiskey.

"Thank you." I handed him a few bills before he could even tell me how much I had to pay. 

The young man babbled something incoherent that I couldn't even make out, but after I gave him a dead stare, he just took the money and finally left me alone. Annoyed, I checked the time on my Rolex before grabbing a bottle of Corona to take a sip, but I was interrupted again. This time not by the bartender.

"Hey," a soft female voice hung over my ear, sending a massive wave of excitement through me. I turned to see that the chick from the other end of the bar was now standing so close to me that I could smell her flowery perfume. "Are you here alone?"

I wish I could say that, but my thoughts of you were always here, with me, but instead of saying that bullshit, I nodded and grinned, checking her body in the most humiliating way, thinking it would scare her away from me, but the gleam in her green eyes only increased after my move.

God, she doesn't know what she's asking for.

"Yeah, you could say that." I smiled again as she sat down next to me. "What about you?"

The girl leaned against the bar, her ginger hair cascading down her elegant shoulders, and for a moment I couldn't take my eyes off her. "I wasn't supposed to be alone tonight, but...you know how it is...most men are total jerks."

I could barely keep myself from bursting out laughing. "Did someone offend you?" She played with the gold bracelet on her wrist and nodded shyly, a move I suddenly found very sexy. "Do you mind if I get you a drink?"

"First, tell me your name," she muttered in a challenging way—a blatant provocation that I ate like a starved man. "Then I'll think about it."

This girl is so sweet, I bet her insides are the same.

At first I wanted to use a fake name, like I always did, but then I just gave her my real name, because in the end it would make no difference. "Patrick....Patrick Bateman," I finally took a sip of Corona and savored the taste. "And you?"

"Nicole," the girl said, still fiddling with her jewelry. "But I used to have a lot of different names."

"I like this one," I chuckled, smiling charmingly. "It suits a girl like you."

"A girl like me?"

"A beautiful girl...very beautiful I must say." My voice was deep and soft like silk, I noticed the way she straightened her shoulders, slowly but gradually relaxing. 

"You really think so?" She asked me, her eyes roaming over my mischievous face, then down to my lips.

Instead of answering, I just smiled in the most enchanting way possible before calling for the bartender to order her a drink. Nicole and I talked for a while—she told me she was from Canada and didn't really have any friends in New York—it was strangely satisfying but I tried to be sympathetic and supportive even though my mind was so far away from here. The ginger girl didn't even notice how she finished one cocktail and then another, while I didn't even touch my whiskey, just idly sipped my bottle of Corona because for some reason I wanted to be as sober as possible.

As the club was getting more and more empty, Nicole was ready to give me a blowjob right at the bar, but I convinced her to go to my place and to be honest, I didn't expect it to be that easy since I hadn't really planned anything like that. I forgot about the drug dealer because now I had to worry about what I was going to say to Evelyn tomorrow because I was definitely not going to spend the night with her. 

"Patrick..." Nicole nestled into my side as we sat in the cab. "Did I tell you I know...F-French?"

I crossed my arms and shook my head in dismay. "No, you didn't," I said, looking down at her red, messy hair. "But it's nothing special...you're from Canada and French is your second official language."

Nicole let out a cartoonish giggle that made me cringe. "Oh...you know it? Damn, you're such a smart man...Mr. Bateman...so fucking smart...most guys I've slept with....didn't know that..." she giggled again and tried to pinch my nose, but I shooed her away. "Can you believe that?"

At a certain point, I was even starting to regret bringing her along, but I hoped I'd be able to shut her mouth with something...sharp and maybe deadly. "It happens, Nicole. Like you said, there were so many bad people in this town. Fortunately, you're lucky to have met someone like me."

The girl hugged me at my words, I could feel her drunk breath next to my lips, but instead of turning away I let her kiss me and it felt better than I expected. Soon the cab pulled up to the American Gardens Building. The walk up to my apartment didn't take much time, I was already thinking about how I was going to dispose of her body after I was done with her. Nicole, completely unaware of my dark thoughts, walked around my apartment barefoot as she kicked off her shoes, complaining about how fucking uncomfortable they were.

"Oh, this place is so fucking...c-cool!" She managed to say, swaying from side to side while moving. "Jesus, is that a telescope? Why do you even need that?" Nicole giggled like a child seeing one for the first time, but who knew, maybe she really was seeing it for the first time. "Do you... spy on people with that... thing?"

"No, Nicole." I replied curtly, standing next to her with my hands hidden in the pockets of my tailored pants. 

"Are you...an astronaut...from NASA?" She asked, then winced when she finally noticed my looming figure. "Are you... going to send me to the moon tonight, handsome?"

"I'll do more than that," I crooned, placing my hand on her waist and pulling her closer. "But I must say one thing you may not like..." a short pause, then a soft rumble left my throat. "I prefer that beautiful mouth of yours to be closed. Do you understand?"

I was expecting anything other than this bitch dropping to her knees and immediately working on unbuckling my belt. The way she was behaving was both amusing and enticing, but what I enjoyed most was that she was so naive and completely dumb.

"Look at you," I murmured before grabbing a handful of her ginger curls that were blocking her vision. "So inpatient, huh?"

By the time she managed to undo my pants, I was already so hard that my dick sprang out of the confines of my clothes and almost slapped her face, but it didn't bother her at all—I could only see an uncontrollable desire in those big green eyes that were now looking at me as if asking for my permission. 

Shameless, pathetic whore.

With a practiced move, I grabbed the back of her head to pull her closer to my crotch, then pressed my engorged dick against her lips, sliding it along them and making her lick off my pre-cum. "Yeah," I croaked, biting my own lips. "I definitely like you more like this...open your mouth, bitch."

Nicole obeyed and the next thing I knew I was thrusting into her mouth, her warmth welcoming me and making me grunt as I bucked my hips into her face, pushing myself further until I heard her gag around my shaft.

"'C'mon, choke on my dick," I snarled, pulling on her hair with brutal force, her nose rubbing against my pubis and I snaked my hand down to rest on her throat, wanting to feel my cock slide along it. "I'm sure no one has ever face fucked you like that...am I right, honey?"

I used that ugly nickname Evelyn always gave me and pulled myself out of her mouth to hear her answer, but she just gulped desperately for air and grabbed my legs for any semblance of support. 

"Oh-Christ...you're...s-so fucking big," she wept, trying to wipe the liquid mixture off her chin, but I wouldn't let her, pulling her head back. "Shit...you're really one of those guys...who likes it rough?"

With a devilish smile, I gave myself several quick strokes before answering. "Oh, darling. You can't even imagine how MUCH I like that kind of thing."

Panting, Nicole was not ready for me to invade her mouth again, but I didn't care, just as I ignored her little protest when I fucked her throat and felt the curve of my dick slide into her wet, tight channel. It was a bliss I had always sought, that fleeting moment of raw control over another human, once you tasted it you couldn't stop yourself.

Perfection.

As time passed, I came at least twice in her abused mouth, each time making sure she swallowed every drop, but then I got bored of fucking her face and left her sprawled out on my expensive living room floor, which I would definitely have to call the maid service to clean. Barely alive, Nicole literally vomited my sperm mixed with her blood, her plump lips swollen and bruised from my beatings—I couldn't stress her pathetic whimpering anymore, so I had to act—but she would last a while longer, I was sure of it.

As I rummaged through my stuff in the bedroom to get a condom, Nicole's pathetic whimpering was like music to my ears, but at some point I considered turning on some real music to muffle the girl's screams, although to my surprise she was not that loud. But just in case, I returned to the living room and stepped over Nicole, who was still lying on the floor, to get to my stereo and put on the latest Talking Heads album, True Stories.

"I didn't ask you what kind of music you like," I suddenly chuckled and moved closer to the sobbing girl to crouch down beside her. "But I doubt it would change anything."

After that, I stood up and decided to strip completely, every move I made calculated and mastered to perfection. One second, two seconds....ten seconds and I was almost naked, when the only thing left on me was my gold Rolex, I heard her weak, shaky voice:

"Whitney Houston," she murmured, barely audible. "I love Whitney Houston."

I stopped in my tracks. "Oh...really? What is your favorite song?"

My lips were curled in a smile that came dangerously close to something insane as I carefully placed all my clothes on one of my black chairs before picking up the girl and moving her to the window—away from my white couch that I didn't want to stain with her fucking blood. She didn't struggle, she didn't struggle at all as I positioned her against the window, pressing her bruised face against the cold glass.

"Take Good Care of My Heart," the redhead added as I began to poke at her soaked pussy, which was not shaved like most of the girls I used to have, and to be honest, I really liked it. "I...I really love the whole album."

"Oh yeah," I chuckled into her ear, fixing her in place as the tip of my cock plunged into her, causing her legs to shake. "This is such a good album..."

With that I bottomed her out completely, my balls slapping against her ass, red from my spanking, I thought I could see the outline of my hand. Her little cunt felt no worse than her mouth, but it was not as tight...after being with you, nothing seemed tight enough to me.

Fuck it!

Cursing under my breath, I sped up to pound into her as hard as I could. Thank God the glass didn't break, but I changed our position anyway. Now Nicole was bent over my black leather chair, her ass wiggling every time I thrust into her and I couldn't stop myself from spanking her, I wanted her to fucking scream and cry out in pain but all I could get from her was nothing that could signal that she was in pain. On the contrary, this girl seemed to enjoy it so much, as her hips moved in rhythm with mine, she bucked in my direction to meet my movements.

"Shit, you fuck like a whore," I blurted out, grabbing her hair in a self-made ponytail. "Is that why you came to America? To be a fucktoy for men like me?"

"Mmm...f-fuck me...please...fuck me!" Nicole didn't seem to hear me, I had to squeeze her throat to shut her up. "Ye-yes...fucking...c-choke me...please!"

Stupid bitch.

In one swift motion, I pulled out only to slam into her unprepared asshole, making her scream in pain and fuck, she sounded amazing. Quickly wiping the sweat from my forehead, I pushed her down on my cock, noticing the crimson drops of her blood on my dick, which only spurred me to move faster and more ferociously. This bitch didn't see it coming, but she was still pretty obedient, which started to seem pretty weird to me, because usually by this time women start to panic, fight and try to escape, but this fucking hoe didn't even say a word about the way I was treating her.

And that started to disappoint me.

When I thought I was not going to climax, I closed my eyes and let my imagination take control of my brain. Huffing, I rammed into Nicole harder, fantasizing about you—how we could go 69, your fingers buried deep inside my asshole - I could fucking feel the sensation of them and it sent an electric shock right through my tensed sac.

"Oh, fuck," I gripped her waist with both hands, fucking her with pure abandon. "You...fucking...arrogant prick...I hate you! I hate you s-so fucking much!"

All my curses fell on deaf ears as Nicole only whimpered in response, gripping the back of the chair and the next second I found her cumming around my cock, her inner walls spasming around me, triggering my own orgasm.

 When I was finally finished with her, I stood over her trembling body as she lay on the floor again. The girl was shaking and giggling, I thought she probably lost her mind already, so instead of using a knife or something, I decided to just strangle her with my bare hands. I wanted to see life slowly leave her body. I fucking craved it.

"Nicole," I shook her before getting on top of her, pressing her down with the weight of my muscular body. "Look at me."

Nicole's bloodshot eyes couldn't focus on mine for some time, she was stunned, dazed, ruined and intoxicated, I had to slap her face several times before she finally locked her hazy gaze with mine. The sweet anticipation of the kill enveloped my mind, my cock grew hard again as I placed both hands around her fragile neck, I began to squeeze it, lightly at first but then more and more forcefully.

"You made a big mistake coming to America, Nicole." I let out a taunt, not really expecting her to hear it or respond to it.

Everything was going according to plan when she suddenly smiled and covered my hands, not to take them off, but to stroke them with a wicked... attraction?

"Please...kill me already...I beg you..." She couldn't stop herself from crying and laughing. 

This was a psychotic episode I had experienced so many times, but I never expected to see it with my own eyes. I froze in shock, losing my grip, and as I did, Nicole pulled my hands back to her throat, shaking me as if to wake me up.

"No, no, no, no! Please...don't stop...please...I want to die! Patrick, please...set me free!" Nicole's voice cracked and I could finally see the sheer desperation in her green eyes, but this kind of desperation was different. 

This wasn't the kind of despair I'd seen before...this was something completely different. It was kind of a turn-off for me. The whole evening was fucking ruined, I couldn't believe it. Shaking my head, I stood up and stepped away from her as if from a fire. 

"Patrick...please!"

"Shut up!" I yelled, looking down at my own hands—they were shaking so badly. "Shut the fuck up!"

In a panic, I rushed to the bathroom to wash my hands for who knows what reason, then grabbed my robe and put it on. I couldn't really explain what was happening to me, but when I got back to the living room, I picked up Nicole's clothes and threw them at her.

"Get dressed," I ordered, and then I went into the bedroom to unlock my safe and take out several bundles of money. What was I doing? Panting, I paused in the doorway to watch her get dressed, then walked over to her and handed her the money. "I want you to take this, go to a hospital and get back to Canada. Do you hear me, Nicole?"

The redhead was silent, just looking at me with her pleading eyes. "But I don't want to go..."

"You have to." I emphasized the words by lowering my voice. "Just do what I say and everything should be... okay."

"But I don't want it to be okay." Nicole tried to touch me, but I pulled away.

"Just go," I repeated my previous words, this time in a more serious voice. "And never come back."

I spent the rest of the night sitting in the shower, literally sitting on the floor, crying. A lot. My eyes were so red and puffy that I didn't know which ice mask would help me look normal tomorrow. The hatred of myself that rose from my chest to my cheeks and made me nauseous—I hated myself so much that I finally admitted that I had changed—you had changed me and there was no going back. The man I was before died, now I was just an empty being, or maybe a new man had been born in my shallow soul?

When I finally managed to drag my ass out of the bathroom, the phone rang and I was sure it was Evelyn trying to fuck my brain for not coming back to her apartment and to be fair, I wasn't ready for anything like that at that moment, but considering how much of a pain in the ass she was, I didn't want any more consequences if I didn't pick up the fucking call.

As I walked into the bedroom, I took the phone from my nightstand and finally answered the call. "Yes?"

"Patrick! Jesus, I thought you weren't going to answer the call!" It was you, damn it, it was you.

My teeth almost creaked with anger and disbelief. "How many times do I have to tell you to fuck off?! Are you stalking me or what? How the fuck did you know I was in my apartment?"

"I... I didn't know... I just decided to try my luck and here we are," you replied, your voice was different than it sounded this morning. "Listen Patrick, I'm in New York right now...maybe we can see each other?"

"See each other?" Those words made me sick. "Do you even hear yourself?"

"I know that...things are pretty tense between us, but...maybe we can at least talk about it?"

"No, we can't," I clutched the phone as tightly as I could. "I don't want to see you and I don't want to hear you. Do you understand? If you ever call me again, I'll fucking find you and KILL YOU!"

With that, I dropped the phone on the floor and screamed so loudly that my throat began to hurt. Right now I was nothing but a living madness, the things that were happening in my mind were like an open chasm to hell—a place I'd be one day, I had no doubt about it.

The few days I spent in a dizzy state, I couldn't really remember what I was doing, but the only thing I was sure of was that I couldn't stop thinking about you. Also, I didn't kill anyone for lack of thrill, there was no more adrenaline or excitement—you changed me and now spilling some blood couldn't help me to relieve myself anymore. I felt like I was being shattered into pieces, decomposed into something primitive, for the first time I saw myself as being even more inhuman than I really was.

Inhuman.

What a perfect word to describe everything about me, but I still couldn't understand where I belonged? If not here, could there be a place for a creature like me?

This question was swirling around in my head like a brain worm; that damn rainy evening when I decided to stalk my dear wife. After my rather long absence, Evelyn was about to go to the police, but then I showed up at the door of her apartment at night, high as hell, but she didn't seem surprised at all. I expected her to be mad and angry, but instead she treated me really nice, I could hear her crying and her desperate touch when she hugged me, weeping and sobbing something about being so scared and worried about me and although I didn't believe a single word that came out of her mouth, something stirred inside of me.

The raindrops were falling on my umbrella like Morse code, hitting the surface with such a precise rhythm that I really thought maybe something or someone was trying to send me a sign. The level of absurdity was over the top, and if I were in a different state mentally and physically, I'd be laughing my ass off at this shit, but today I couldn't do anything funny. I couldn't smile, I couldn't sneer, I was like a ghost, a shadow of the person I was before I met you. So here I was, following Evelyn down the street after the taxi ride until I saw her stop at some hotel—a luxury hotel in Upper Manhattan to be exact— and then, after some time, when I thought nothing interesting would happen, a sleek black Cadillac stopped by the street and I saw Timothy Bryce get out of the car—he was holding a black umbrella just like me. Evelyn was so excited to see him that she didn't even wait for them to go inside the hotel, she kissed him now and then without holding back her emotions. This scene made the stone fall off my shoulders; I was so damn happy that I was right and that this fake marriage was about to collapse, but I still couldn't understand why Evelyn married me at all. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if one day, when we finally had a serious talk about it, she would confess that she loved both of us—me and Bryce— and suggested that we all live together.

Say hello to an altered version of the American dream family.

The reality was always cruel, and I knew it too well.

A loud clap of thunder echoed through my apartment, waking me up in my living room, drenched in sweat. Breathing heavily, I turned around to register some pornography playing on my TV, my robe was undone, I was completely naked underneath, some remnants of my cum stuck to my stomach.

Shit, I just blacked out jerking off? This porn really sucks.

And this was the 5th or maybe 10th porn tape I had watched, and I only managed to cum once. Cursing and scowling, I fidgeted on my couch to find a remote control. I was disgusted with my current situation, but then I noticed two thin lines of white powder on my glass coffee table and a twisted $100 bill. Now everything started to fall into place.

Fuck, where did I even get this gram?

I rubbed my head, and instead of turning off the porn, I turned it up louder—two perfect bimbos making out, their oiled bodies wrapped around each other like two snakes—my hand instinctively sliding back to my hard cock, throbbing and soaked with my cum.

"Oh-fuck..." I murmured through clenched teeth as I pumped myself, watching the girls play with their large breasts. "Yeah...suck her tits...suck them like a fucking pacifier..."

The louder their moaning got, the more excited I got, and just when I thought I was about to climax again, I heard... a fucking phone ringing loudly—it hurt my hearing. Confused, I stopped doing anything, ignoring the fact that one slut was now riding on the face of another. There was only one thing I could think about right now— had I turned off my phone or not? Because I definitely remembered pulling the fucking cords out of it, but that thing kept ringing? 

Slowly I got up on my stiff legs and walked to the kitchen island to grab the phone, the only light coming from my playing TV and I bumped into something pretty hard before the fucking receiver was in my hand.

"Patrick Bateman's apartment..." I almost whispered, pressing the receiver harder against my head.

"...Pat..." the echo of a familiar voice wailed from the other end of the line, but I still couldn't make out who it was. "...need... -h-help!"

"Who...am I talking to?"

"Patrick, please, help me," your voice sounded so clear now that it echoed inside my skull, drowning out all the sounds of the bad weather outside. "I'm...I'm at Paul Allen's...I need help...please...I think I'm gonna die..."

Was this some kind of prank? 

I turned around and scanned my apartment as if someone was watching me right now. I felt insane and cornered, if I was really losing my mind the best option now would be to take more coke and trigger an overdose and then...

"Can you hear me? Please, come here, I'll... give you the address..." and then I heard loud interference and noise, so I had to pull the phone away for a second. "Patrick? Please...talk to me!"

"What...what happened?" I asked, still not believing what I was doing. "Are you in pain?"

"No...yes....Patrick...listen...you should write down the address..."

Without thinking, I grabbed the Vogue magazine lying next to the phone and a pencil, and the next second I was writing down the address where Paul Allen was supposed to live. 

"Hold on! I'll be right there!" I suddenly said into the phone, but all I could hear was the agonizing beep. "Hey...I'll be there...do you hear me? I'LL BE THERE!"

Fuck!

I dropped the phone and took several deep breaths before I finally came to my senses, or so I thought. Then I rushed to the bathroom to clean up and put something on without worrying too much. So I grabbed the first suit out of my closet, fixed my hair and left my apartment to take a cab. All the way to Paul's, I was holding a crumpled page of Vogue that I had to rip out. At first I didn't even notice that I wasn't surprised when the cabbie just nodded and we drove off, so this address was real? It meant you really called me? And what about all the previous calls?

Perplexed, I leaned against the cool glass of the car window and watched the nighttime cityscape blur into something unrecognizable, almost falling asleep, but the driver turned on the radio with some cheesy pop songs that kept me awake, as I was too irritated to ignore how much I disliked such music. When the car stopped in front of a towering building like the one I lived in, I paid the driver twice what I was supposed to and got out of the cab. There were no pedestrians and for a moment I really thought that maybe I was still asleep and had to pinch myself to wake up in my living room?

As I entered the building I saw a table where the concierge should be sitting, but there was no one, so I casually opened the journal to find the number of Allen's apartment—I felt a creeping shock when I actually found his name in the journal.

Okay… this feels…too real.

Feeling a strange thrill of the rush, I closed the journal and sauntered quickly across the large lobby to the elevators. Paul's apartment was on the 15th floor, so when the door opened on the floor I needed, I stepped out of the elevator with a heavy weight in my chest. Every step I took resonated with the fast beating of my heart, and when I reached my destination, I didn't know what to do - whether to ring the bell or knock or…

Shaking myself off, I first rang the doorbell—nothing. Then I knocked several times, then again, still no answer. Finally, I put my ear to the door to listen, but I couldn't hear a single sound. Anger overcame me, so I kicked the door and turned to leave. How stupid was I? Maybe mixing my pills and coke wasn't the best idea, but this...

When I got back to the lobby, an old man, who must have been a missing concierge, greeted me with a fake polite smile. "Greetings, sir. How can I help you?"

Annoyed as hell, I stopped next to his small table, adjusted my leather gloves, and pointed to his journal. "I was looking for Paul Allen's apartment, he's my friend and I wanted to see him, but it seems...he's out tonight."

"Oh, Mr. Allen left on a business trip this morning." The concierge said casually, but then he noticed how pale I'd become. "Sir, is something wrong?"

"Did you say he left this morning?" I asked again, feeling a few beads of sweat on my tense forehead.

"Yes, sir," the old man opened the journal and began to leaf through it. "I can even tell you the exact time he left..."

"No need. Thank you." Was all I said before I turned on my heels and headed for the exit.

Outside I noticed that the taxi that had brought me here was still standing by the side of the road. It was strange but I didn't even think about it. I got in and asked the driver to take me back to my place, but first I asked him to give me a moment to sit and think. With shaking hands I picked up the crumpled piece of paper with the address on it, I traced my handwriting before throwing it out the window, my temples pounding so hard I thought my head would explode. Exhausted both mentally and physically, I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, not noticing that the concierge I was talking to literally ran out of the building, looking around, seeking someone.

"Let's go." I ordered the cab driver with my eyes still closed. "And can you please turn off the music...my head is killing me."

The taxi drove off and I didn't see or hear the old man following the car. "Sir, wait! I made a mistake about Mr. Allen-"

Today, after I refused to go shopping with Evelyn and help her choose a fucking curtain for her living room, she finally told me that she never loved me, that she wanted a divorce and nothing else from me. The relief I felt was comparable to a good orgasm, to say the least, Evelyn was shocked at my reaction—did she really expect me to beg for forgiveness? But the single mention of Bryce made everything come to its place, I wasn't angry, no, I just couldn't solve this fucking puzzle, what was all this for? If she really liked Bryce, why couldn't she just tell me and go for him? How many times had I told her that? A hundred? A thousand? Millions? Luckily, I wasn't inclined to leave my stuff in her apartment, so I finished my busing with 'moving out' pretty quickly and smoothly, because something glorious and important was waiting for me. The last moment of my drama.

I imagine that maybe someday there will be a show on Broadway based on my life—a great example of a life that no one should have lived—I smiled at the thought, as I always liked to romanticize things in the most clichéd and poetic way. After all, Bryce was right, I was mental, and no matter how hard I tried to run away from the dark version of myself, it would catch up with me one day. And that day seemed to have finally come.

As I walked down Wall Street, wearing my favorite headphones and listening to Huey Lewis and the News, I stumbled by the phone booth—a random idea plagued my mind before I could really think about it. Opening my briefcase, I found my notebook, and soon I was dialing your office number, hoping you wouldn't answer. But my hopes were never to be fulfilled. 

To my surprise, I heard a male voice coming from the phone and all the words stuck in my throat like a lump. "Uh...hi...can I talk to..."

"Sorry sir, I can't hear you properly...it might be the bad connection," the voice replied and it made me really nervous. "I'm sorry, but if you want to talk to my boss, they are out of the office right now."

Out of the office…shit.

"Who am I talking to?" I asked, almost fainting.

"Vinc..." an unpleasant static noise came over my brain and I held my eyes closed for a second from the stabbing pain in my temples. "My name is Vincent...I'm .... assistant."

"Listen, Vincent..." I started to speak, not even knowing that he could hear my words. "I want you to tell your boss that...Patrick Bateman called and...this would be my LAST call," I laughed hysterically, leaning against the phone booth door. "I'm going to, uh... disappear..."

A short pause seemed like an eternity.

"You mean you are leaving New York City, sir?" Vincent's question surprised me.

My lips twitched in a wicked smile. "No...I mean...yes..."

"Are you going somewhere in particular, Mr. Bateman?" The man asked me and I stopped breathing for a second.

"I'm going...to a place where no one will ever...find me..."

And with that I hung up the phone. There was already a line of people by the phone booth, and as I walked away, they looked at me with the most disdainful look I could ever dream of mastering. Unfortunately, I wouldn't need it anymore.

Soon the white walls of my apartment would be the only witness to my last confession. My apartment smelled so fresh and good, the maid had just finished cleaning, and I was glad that if the police found my body, they would see that wealth and money were not a panacea for a happy life, although I had believed in it fervently for almost all these years. With deliberate steps, I walked into my bathroom, grabbed a small bottle of medicine prescribed by my psychiatrist, and popped a handful of pills at once. Then I looked at my reflection in the mirror and somehow realized that the mask I had worn for most of my adult life was about to slip. Right now, at this very moment, I was about to die. An abnormal dizziness washed over me, I could barely stand on my feet when I suddenly saw your silhouette behind me in the mirror. I gulped and turned around to see nothing but the empty doorway, my hands shaking so badly that I failed to put the bottle back in its place, dropping it on the floor and scattering pills all over the bathroom.

Holy shit.

A strong gag reflex suddenly took over me and I managed to get to the toilet faster than I could throw up—I threw up all the pills—Jesus Christ, I was so weak I couldn't even finish this... I was so pathetic. In the end, I finally accepted that as the darkness took me in its cold embrace.

Knock…knock…

What is this? Am I still alive?

I kept questioning myself because I didn't feel anything, no pain, no remorse, nothing. But if I were dead, I wouldn't hear that strange sound, would I? I opened my wet eyes and looked up at the white ceiling—I was still in my bathroom— lying on my back, covered in my own vomit, saliva and bile. My mouth smelled like a rotten rat and I knew what I was talking about. The annoying knocking kept coming from my front door, and although I didn't want to get up, I felt that if I didn't, this fucking knocking would never stop.

With careful, unhurried movements, I crawled to the sink and, leaning on the bathroom counter, managed to stand up and quickly brush my teeth, avoiding looking at my reflection because I was sure I looked like shit. After that, I took off my stained clothes and put on a new robe that I had bought myself for no reason a few days ago. 

As I approached the front door, the knocking stopped and I thought it was just another hallucination, but I decided to open the door anyway and to my surprise I saw my concierge who looked very worried and even scared.

"Mr. Bateman, thank God you're all right!" The man blurted out, holding his concierge hat in his hands.

"Of course I'm okay," I replied nonchalantly. "What happened? Or did you just come to check on me?"

"Well," the concierge looked away before rubbing his gray mustache. "Someone was looking for you..."

My eyebrows furrowed, and I peered out into the long corridor. "Who was it? Did they give a name? Was it a policeman or something?" 

"No, sir." The old man gave me an awkward smile that made me even more angry. "They were so desperate...they were literally storming around the lobby...constantly saying things about you not answering calls and not opening the door...I told them maybe you just left..."

The rest of what he said fell on deaf ears, because now I was absolutely sure who was looking for me. "What time is it now?"

"11 a.m., sir."

"Today is Friday, right?" I asked, my head spinning. "It should be Friday."

The concierge paused. "It's Sunday, sir."

Sunday?

A sharp pang of nausea crept into my stomach, nearly breaking me in half, but I managed to grab hold of the doorjamb for support. "Where is this person?"

"Mr. Bateman, I had to call the police because they were being...kind of aggressive," the concierge explained, stepping back a bit. "The cops arrived pretty quickly...they found out this person had drugs, sir."

I stagger to the side as if from the hard blow. "And what happened next...did they arrest them?"

"I...I guess so?"

I let out a tired sigh, rolling my eyes and trying to keep it together - this poor guy was not guilty, it was just an accident, but how did you get caught with drugs? It was so fucking illogical to me.

My voice was unnaturally soft as I tried my fucking best not to snap at the man across from me. "Did the cops really take them away? Did you see that with your own eyes?" The concierge just nodded, and I could tell by his nervousness that he felt it was his fault at some level. "All right, thank you for your information, remind me to tip you next month." And with that, I closed the front door, leaving the man in a completely bewildered state.

Shit...this whole situation seemed like a fucking joke, but I had to think fast—I needed a plan how to solve this bullshit and maybe I could get some answers if I could help you. I took a moment to collect myself and told myself that one way or another I had to go there...to rescue you.

I'll do it even if I have to burn down this police station.

In record time, my impeccable appearance was ready, and now I confidently walked down the long, dimly lit corridor of the police station that was closest to where I lived—I hoped you were in that station, but if not, I would visit all of them until I found you.

Finally, I reached the reception area, where a pretty policewoman greeted me with a friendly smile. "Good afternoon, sir. What can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for..." I opened my briefcase and showed her my notebook with your full name written in it. "Are they here, in this department? I believe they were arrested today."

The officer smiled at me before she turned around and started to rummage through some papers, folds, notes... With each passing moment I was getting more and more impatient, but I had to play it cool.

"I think I found the person you were looking for," the woman said, placing several documents on the reception desk, implying that I should take a look at them. "They were delivered here an hour ago."

"Can I see them?" I asked, putting on my casual, seductive smile.

“And what is your relationship to the suspect?” 

Damn, not this fucking question.

I was a little stunned at first, but then I quickly tugged at my red tie and tilted my head in a condescending way. "I'm their lawyer, and I need to see them as soon as possible."

I noticed that her expression suddenly changed, her eyes gliding over my massive form—she was obviously trying to access my appearance and compare it to the look of a successful lawyer living in New York City—when I gave her an intense look and then winked, she visibly blushed.

After a small cough, she took the documents and only then dared to look at me again. "The suspect is now in interrogation room number one. Don't get lost."

"Thanks." I grinned broadly and, after closing my briefcase, left the reception.

It didn't take me long to find the interrogation room I needed. As I stopped right next to the door, I checked myself in the reflection of the nearby window—I looked perfect, not as perfect as I used to be, but not too horrible either.

A light knock on the door before I opened it. "Good afternoon, sorry for the long wait. How is my client? I hope you haven't done anything inappropriate in my absence?"

The moment our eyes met, I could see a mixture of shock, disbelief, and something beyond human understanding.

"And who the hell is that?" One of the officers—a rather fat guy with a messy beard—asked his partner, then looked at you. "You said you were from Chicago and your lawyer had to catch a flight here."

"Yes, that's exactly what I said. Why are you telling me my own words?" You crossed your arms and gave me a scorching gaze, I seized the moment of your confusion to nestle into the empty chair next to you. "Probably...my lawyer has handed this case over to his colleague in New York, so he doesn't have to come here."

Both policemen looked at us as if we were idiots—which we definitely were—but I hoped this affair would work out.

"But you asked to be allowed to make a phone call... the whole damn time," another policeman replied, pointing his finger at you and then at me. "I'm going to send you both to jail if you don't tell me what-"

"Jesus Christ, I told you several times...I was at a party...I took someone's coat by mistake and there was...this fucking bag of cocaine, but it's not mine! You can check the fingerprints and you won't find mine on this fucking bag! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?"

"My client is right. Before we get the results of the fingerprint analysis, the presumption of innocence should not be forgotten." I started in the most serious tone I could manage. "Remember that."

Both officers started arguing with each other almost immediately, using many different insults that I would definitely have to remember so that I could present them to Tim— he would love to hear them. I was about to say something clever when the door suddenly opened and a woman with dark hair stepped into the room.

"What the hell is going on?" The woman asked her colleagues, looking disappointed and quite angry. "Everyone can hear you outside."

"Oh, Miss Moore," one of the officers murmured like a guilty child. "Well, we..."

"Detective Moore to you, Rogers," she replied, her posture radiating confidence. You and I both stared at her for a while, I noticed her tanned skin and thick curly hair, she was definitely Hispanic, the accent was also quite noticeable. "Can I confide in you at least once?" Officer Rogers looked at his partner, neither of them said a word, and that made the detective even more annoyed. "We'll talk about it later, now go."

The cops didn't dare protest, and soon they left. Now it was just you, me and Detective Moore in the interrogation room. The tension was palpable in the air, my hands were sweaty and shaking, I had to brush them off my open coat, but before I could, you caught one of them and squeezed it barely sensibly—I gasped, almost choking on my saliva.

After a brief examination of the documents, the woman across from us raised her brown eyes and smiled, not too friendly, but not too menacing either. "So, my name is Andrea Moore," she turned to look at you, holding a piece of paper in her hand. "I already know your name," her piercing gaze finally stopped on me. "May I have your documents, sir?"

Swallowing hard, I unlocked my briefcase to hand her my ID. "Yeah, sure."

"Mr. Bateman...have we met before?"

"No...I don't think so."

Andrea hummed to herself. "Well, I hope you brought your law license with you?" 

Your grip on my palm tightened, I almost let out a hysterical squeal. "I... I must have left it in my office."

"Listen," you suddenly spoke up, gesticulating as if you were at a school presentation. "I need to call my assistant, Vincent Eisenhower...he will help sort things out-"

"Wait a minute...did you say Vincent Eisenhower?" Andrea suddenly stopped you, obviously surprised.

"Uh, yeah, he's my assistant at the company I work-" 

"...in Chicago?" 

"Yes..." you replied in confusion. "Is there something wrong with that?"

The detective didn't answer, and it made me nervous as hell, but you holding my hand in a gentle manner was strangely comforting, even though I despised such displays of affection.

Looking puzzled, Andrea finally took the pen and a clean piece of paper. "Can you give me the number...I'll call Mr. Eisenhower and ask him for...a real lawyer. Mr. Bateman, I hope you understand the consequences of your actions-"

"Leave him alone, it's not his fault," you cut Andrea off before I could say anything in my defense. "He didn't know what he was doing coming here...please...he hasn't done anything bad...he's just going through a hard time in his life and..."

"Enough," the detective raised her hand in a halting gesture. "I hope I can reach out to Mr. Eisenhower....You two better pray for that."

Andrea left as abruptly as she had come. We were finally alone. Both confused, frightened, and lost.

"Why did you even come here?" You asked, not looking at me, but not parting our hands. "How stupid of you to come here and act like you were my lawyer."

"I HAD NO CHOICE!" I almost screamed, turning in my seat to cut the mere distance between us. "Not after you terrorized me with those damn phone calls..."

As I said that, time stood still for us and I could see the inner conflict in your deep, mesmerizing eyes—you were broken and lost just like me—I looked down at our intertwined hands, waiting for your answer.

"What calls, Patrick? What are you talking about?" 

"You know WHAT I'm talking about...don't try to fuck with my brain," I husked, inches from your lips. "You think this is funny, huh?" 

"And you think it's funny to call my office and tell my assistant about your suicidal intentions?" Your warm breath wafted pleasantly around my face as you moved closer. "You think it's funny to appear and disappear in my life like I'm a toy you can play with whenever you feel bored?"

At first I didn't answer. Instead, I just kept eye contact with you, then I lowered my eyes to our hands again—my palm was bigger than yours, this little detail always made my heart flutter. Did I ever think that such a small thing would stir such strong emotions in me? Probably not.

Definitely not.

"By the way, did you manage to find out anything about that machine you told me about?" I questioned abruptly, putting my arm around your shoulders. 

You frowned and chuckled in disbelief. Well, at least the tension was relieved.

"What machine?" You fidgeted in your seat as I pulled you closer. "Hey, don't change the subject..."

"A memory reboot machine," I crooned, leaning forward so our noses rubbed against each other. "If you're here... that means you probably didn't find it."

The urge to indulge in this moment, to follow the passionate momentum and just kiss these lips I'd been thinking about all along, was unbearable, but I didn't want to be the first to fall apart and drop my defenses.

"Maybe I never needed this machine," you replied, pressing your forehead against mine for a brief moment. "Because I never wanted to forget...you?"

Was it a question or a statement—we never knew as we both moved towards each other, my burning lips pressed against your soft ones as we shared the most desirable kiss I could ever imagine. Gasping into my mouth, you let go of my hand only to wrap both of them around my neck as you responded with no less favor than mine. It was so hot, so desperate, so tragic. And it was all mine— your pain, your anger, your hatred.

Because you were my salvation.

With precise deftness, I carefully tilted your head back a little to deepen the kiss, my arms eagerly but not persistently roving around your back, knowing every little detail of your body, every dent and bump. As much as I wanted to tell you how fucking perfect you were for me, I didn't want this kiss to end, but as if you could read my mind, you suddenly pulled me away a little too abruptly and roughly.

"God, I hate you..." you wept, covering your face so I couldn't see your tears. "I really... I really thought you were going to do something bad... I was afraid it was too late..."

I was at a loss, I didn't know how to react or what to say—everything about you confused me, made my brain overload with different thoughts about what you said and why—now was no exception.

"But I'm here now...in one piece," I decided not to touch you, my hand resting on the back of your chair, ready to hug you at any moment if it was needed. "You should understand that...if I really wanted to do this, no one would be able to stop me..." I whisper above your ear and place my hand on the back of your head, gently stroking your hair as you rest your head on the table. "Even you."

I knew that this confession would mean nothing, just like all my previous ones, but as soon as I said it, you raised your tear-stained eyes and whimpered. "Don't say that...don't fucking say that! You can be a total asshole, but that doesn't mean you deserve to die..."

"Darling," I gently brushed your stray locks from your face, trying to distract you and keep you from saying words that would only make things worse. "You know so little about me...but I don't want you to say something you'll regret..."

"I've already said too many things that I now regret," you replied, turning away from me. "Have you ever thought about your family and how they would react if something bad happened to you? Have you thought about Evelyn?"

My eyebrows knitted together, the words you said pierced my heart like sharp daggers, but I didn't want you to stop, because you were right, I was always selfish, but you knew so little about my family, who would surely be sad about the loss, but they would recover pretty quickly, since they still had Sean. And Evelyn? I would laugh if things were not so sad.

Trembling and sobbing, you still sat with your back to my face. "I'm not going to ask you for anything except to promise me that you'll never even think about...hurting yourself."

Oh, dear.

With a soft clink of my chair, I stood up and placed both of my hands on your trembling shoulders. "I promise... if you stay with me, I'll never look back... on my previous life." I felt your body tense under my touch. "We can't reboot the memory, but we can...reboot our lives?"

This was it—the moment I had fantasized about so many times, considering different outcomes, scenarios—I was waiting for your answer when the door creaked and Detective Moore appeared in my vision. She was much more cheerful than before, which worried me a bit.

"So," she took a seat, opened a folder with documents and wrote something on it. "I spoke to Vince, and luckily for you, he has already contacted your lawyer-"

"Vince?" You asked in shock, but at least you stopped crying.

Andrea stuttered and cleared her throat. "I mean..." she paused and twirled the pen in her hand. "It happened that Vincent and I used to know each other..."

What?

We were both speechless, how the hell could such a coincidence have happened? 

"Well... I really didn't see it coming..." You murmured, brushing the remnants of tears from your face.

"Neither did I," the detective chuckled curtly before resuming her work on some papers. "Listen, we should wait for the results of the fingerprint analysis, and while we wait, you are forbidden to leave the city. Please put your sign here."

"What is this?"

"Your ticket to freedom," she explained. "A street bail."

I saw you hesitate, so I gave you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and you looked at me, I simply nodded, and you placed the sign. 

"And how long have you known Vincent?" You asked after you handed the document back to Andrea. "Just asking."

"Since childhood, I think."

"Oh... that's... a lot."

"Vince has always been known for being a good boy..." the woman paused, coughing awkwardly. "Uh, you can talk to him about... that if you're interested." Andrea closed the folder and shifted her gaze to me. "And you, I highly recommend that you never do anything like this again."

"So you're not going to put me in a cell?" I replied in a slightly teasing manner.

"No...not this time. But the officer who allowed you to come here will be severely punished, maybe even fired," Andrea explained, getting up from her chair. "It's her first day at the police station, but she let a man go through without even checking his papers. Such violations are very serious."

And although I didn't feel sad for this woman I would probably never see again, I looked at you and your big doe eyes. "Maybe there's a way not to fire her? I assured her that I was a lawyer and...I could pay a fine if I had to."

Detective Moore said nothing, she just grinned and beckoned us to follow her.

An hour later we finally left the police station. For some time we walked in complete silence, the surrounding commotion drawing out my shallow breathing, my mind overclocked with the search for topics to talk about after all the shit that had happened.

"So... where did you stay?" I asked casually, looking at you from above, your eyelashes shimmering in the sunlight. "In the Plaza?"

"No," you replied almost immediately. "Not the Plaza this time...it was all booked up."

"You were really in New York... for the whole time?"

"Depends on what time you mean exactly," your slight smile made me almost stumble, but I pretended to see someone familiar. "Maybe I haven't left New York at all?"

No, that can't be.

"You know, since you can't leave the city... maybe we should spend some time together and... you didn't answer my question."

My offer made you stall, and I followed suit. Passers-by walked past us, not paying attention even though we were standing in the middle of the street.

"Was it really a question?"

"And what do you think it was?"

"A plea?" You smiled and stepped closer to me until there was no space between us. "If you weren't so stubborn...everything could be so much easier."

"And YOU tell me that?" I let myself pull you closer to me. "I have an idea...fuck the place where you stopped! We should go to Newport."

"Newport? Would it count that I left New York?" you asked me a little shyly. "Do you have a house there or...?"

"My family has a house there and since they are out of town we can use it to kill time...have you ever been to Newport?" My hands rested possessively on your waist and before I knew it, I added. "Me and Evelyn are getting divorced..."

"No, I haven't," you replied, finally resting your hands on my shoulders. "But I really want to...since I've heard a lot of good things about this place..." then you suddenly froze. "What... What did you say? Are you kidding me? God, I can't believe this...I..."

You continued to bubble something that made me smile in amusement and I couldn't help but hold you tightly in my arms— the place you always belonged to, though I understood it too late. The fresh breeze of change swirled around us, playing with our hair and clothes. Yesterday I didn't know if I would make it to tomorrow, but today I was sure that there would be so many tomorrows because I wasn't alone anymore.

With you, for you, in your name—I was still alive and finally free.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my writing community to know when I update!💞

[naomi-nana]

Hii! I saw your post that you're open for kn8, I was wondering if you could do soshiro hoshina with a fem reader who's a doctor of the third division?

The way she acts towards him as if she hated him, giving him snarky comments and easily get irritated at his teasing antics (especially whenever he breaths lol).

But in reality that's the opposite, she doesn't know how to act towards the vice captain when it comes to having someone she likes (aka falling in love).

✎ᝰ. help me out, doctor !

you're preparing to take a break, but it seems like this superior of yours isn't going to let that happen. oh well, you have to indulge him now.

featuring : hoshina soshiro

cw : fem!reader, doctor!reader, mentions of blood, injuries, scars, fluff, soshiro might be out of character??, bad grammar i think

a/n : HII i hope this was what u had in mind, anon🙏 i really had fun making this!! thank you for your request :D

as a doctor, you rarely can catch a break around the third division. well, not because most of them are weak, but it's because they're almost all too reckless for a warrior, that they often come back bruised. scratches, minor wounds, even worse injuries — they came to your office for help.

not that you mind, though. the job pays well. fortunately for you, today is your day off. so you can take a break for as much as you'd like. actually, you already had a spectacular day planned for yourself. going to a cafe full of cats, a walk around the city, visiting an art museum — krrk... until the annoying sound of a door creaking open reached your ears, making you turn around in frustration.

it seems like a certain vice commander won't let you to take a break, at all.

"vice commander," you called out to him, holding onto the last shred of your sanity with a little, polite smile. "is there any reason as to why you're visiting my office in the beautiful morning of saturday?" a vein pops in your forehead when you see his grin. from the looks of it, this maniac doesn't seem to have the desire to leave quickly at all.

"so, this is yer office?" he whistled, hands in his pocket as if judging your small little space. it's not small, actually. to be quite honest, it's very big. there is a lot of medical equipments lined up on the wall, floor, and your desk. each equipments ranging from small tools for light injuries — to the most advanced tool the JAKDF could offer. though, hoshina often visited this office himself for 'regular check-ups'. so there would be no reason for him to even ask you that.

"yes, vice commander. this is my office." honestly, you could just hit his head with a hammer right now and nobody would know. but, this is your superior you're talking about. you have to hold yourself. "i think you've visited this place many times enough to know how this place looks. so, if you're wishing for a tour—"

"no. i dont want a tour, i need help." he cuts you off with a deadpanned expression, making you want to crawl out of your skin. is this what maniacs do when they're bored? deprive their subordinates of weekends? if so, that's cruel. "... very well. what do you need help with?" you sighed. well, if he just needs a little help, there's no way you can reject him.

suddenly, the air shifted. his expression grew serious — way too serious — and it made you hold your breath. wait, is there actually something serious he wanted to tell you? maybe you should cancel those plans after all.. he takes out his left hand from his pocket slowly, while a bead of sweat trickled down your temple. and when he pulled it out, on his hand was...

"i got a papercut. help me out."

the silent that followed was deafening.

"you *beep*! i held my breathing for a few seconds, felt the *beep* nerves ride up my spine, and this is what i got? a *beep* papercut?! you've got to be *beep* kidding me!" of course, that is just your inner thoughts. you can't possibly say that to your superior, so you just smile through the pain. "oh, is that so? well, sit on the couch. i'll heal you." was your actual response.

he laughs, before sitting on the couch. "im very grateful yer still here, name! the other doctors left already, so i didn't know what to do with this." he grinned, actually a little grateful that someone was still in the medic department. to be perfectly honest, hoshina knew how to treat a papercut. heck, even elementary schoolers can treat those type of injuries themselves. yet he can't help but hope you're still in your office.

"well, i was actually planning to leave, vice commander," you confessed, taking a medkit from the shelves and putting it on the table. "but it seems like the universe has other plans for me. hahaha!" you continued, letting out a pained laugh. at this time, you would've been walking around the park already. unfortunately, you're now stuck here with you weird superior.

"sorry 'bout that." he quipped, making your lips twitch. you opened the medkit and took out a small bottle of antiseptic. "give me your hand, vice commander." you muttered, the polite smile you once had left your face, replaced by a look of focus. you hold out your palm expectantly. he obeyed your words and let his hand rest on yours. his palm is rough, probably due to the intensive trainings he did, but it is also warm. so warm in fact that you just can't resist the urge to squeeze it in your hand.

"wow. im honestly a little surprised you didn't call an ambulance over this," you threw a sarcastic jab without looking at him, focusing on pouring the antiseptic on a clean cotton pad instead. "why would i? we literally have the best doctor in here." he replied, making you pause for a second. after pouring some antiseptic, you set the bottle down to the side and gently pat it on his thumb a few times.

"flattery won't get you a lollipop." you grumbled, throwing the now dirty cotton ball in the trash can. you then take out a batch of small bandages from your medkit, one that you had just bought a few days ago. you really didnt expect to use the first bandage on a papercut, but oh well.

"those are lame. i was kinda hopin' for one of those cute ones with animals on it."

"well, unfortunately, im not a convenience store." you retort, ripping off the packaging and grabbed one of the 'lame' bandages to put it on his cut. "well, it's all done now, vice commander. i hope the next time you visit, you wouldn't be having a papercut again."

"so, what would i be having then?"

"maybe a more serious injury would be nice."

"so cruel." he stood up from the couch, hands in his pocket once again. "well, i'll just find another excuse to see ya again." you looked up at him when he says that, ready to say something snarky once again. but, your brain couldn't think of any words when you see his red eyes staring at you.

you hated that you think he looks handsome with his eyes open. you hated the fact that your brain short-circuited for a few seconds when he looks at you like that. you hated the fact that you forgot why you're rushing to get him out of your office, too. "...please leave my office." you said, shoving the medkit closed with a snap.

"oh, right, today's weekend, ain't it?" he suddenly asked, reminding you of your neatly planned day for today. ah, well, screw it. it's already past the visiting time for the art museum anyways. your ticket also already expired, so you'll spend your weekend weeping in your dorm just as usual. "yes, yes it is. why do you ask?"

"yer too kind for treatin' me on yer off day. i'm startin' to feel a lil bad." he tilted his head, possibly pondering about something. but what came out of his mouth next was not what you were expecting. "let's go to that cat cafe you were talking about with okonogi yesterday."

or maybe you'll spend the day with him.

naomi-nana. do NOT repost, do not use,(with or without permission), do not reccommend or talk about my works outside of tumblr.

[weird-is-life]

First date charm

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x singlemom!reader

Summary: You think that Bucky is too good for you

Warnings: fluff, mentions of food, like one swear word

Words: 1.1k

----------------------------------------------------

I'm so sorry, James... but I don't think I'll be able to make it to the restaurant today. Again, I'm really sorry, I don't think i'll be able to see you anymore. You send a text to James Barnes.

The babysitter cancelled on you last minute, and with nobody else to watch your son you had to cancel the date.

Yes, you were definitely bummed about it because the first day with him was pretty much perfect. He was such a gentleman, and it felt like you could talk to him about anything. And it was like you could see him in your future immediately.

But you can't escape the nagging feeling that Bucky deserves better than you, than a single mom with a kid. Even though it hurts you more than you can admit.

Bucky feels devastated when he reads your text. He doesn't know what he did wrong. He thought the things were going great?

It was Sam that put you two together, and at first Bucky wanted to throttle him for setting up the date without asking Bucky first.

But after the first date Bucky was more than thankful. You were so kind and lovely and beautiful, and on Bucky's mind all the time since the date.

So he doesn't know what's happened. He tries to call you like 3 times, hoping for more of an explanation than only that text. He even texts you a few more times.

He starts to get worried when you don't respond. He would be thankful even if you just picked up the phone to tell him to fuck off, but you don't, and it drives him crazy.

He waits for your response for 2 hours, debating on just going up to your apartment to see if you are okay.

But after the 2 hours it gets too much for him. His mind going to the worst possible scenarios. He can't help it. The years of trauma don't make it easy for him to live, and not worry.

He gets to your apartment pretty quickly, his motorcycle makes it easy to speed through traffic. He paces nervously in front of the building, maybe he shouldn't have come here.

He contemplates for a few more minutes, and then rings the bell. Maybe you will think that he's crazy psychopath for showing up at your doorsteps, but he has to make sure you're okay.

You don't expect anybody to ring the bell to your apartment as soon as you put your son to sleep. You definitely don't expect to hear Bucky's voice from the intercom.

His soft 'can I come up?' makes your heart flatter, and you buzz him in. He's up the stairs on your floor quickly. And of course, he has a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"James, what are you doing here?" you ask quietly. He looks so handsome for the cancelled date, and it makes you feel even worse.

"I'm sorry for showing up...You weren't answering your phone, and-and I was worried." He looks apologetically at you.

"My phone....oh-" you quickly dissappear into your apartment, searching for your phone.

Bucky doesn't mean to snoop, but with the door wide open he notices all of the toys and kids stuff. His mouth goes dry a bit.

"I'm sorry, James, I had my phone on quiet.....," you stop talking when you follow Bucky's gaze. His eyes roaming all over the things.

"What's all this? You have a kid?"  Bucky looks baffled, like he just saw a ghost in front of him.

"Yes." You admit, guilt for not telling him all over your face. You thought that Sam had told Bucky about Teo, but you realised on the date that he hadn't.

You wanted to tell him, you really did. But you just wanted to see how the first date goes first. And in between the first and the second date the thoughts of Bucky being too good for you settled in your mind.

I mean, he's so charming, and probably the nicest man you have ever met. He's also so so respectful. And god, he's so handsome as well, those piercing blue eyes? To die for...

"I wanted to tell you, Bucky. I just....you deserve someone else. Not me with a kid. I-I loved our date, but I know what guys think about women with kids. It's not very attractive...," you sigh. You have experienced rejections from guys because of Teo before.

"Wait, wait, wait, doll. Did I give you the impression that I'd care about such things?" Bucky almost immediately asks. "I don't care that you have a kid, I like you, and I loved the date with or without knowing that you have a kid."

"You say that now, but what about when-" he interrupts you before you can finish.

"Doll, I like you! How about we just take it one date at a time, yeah? Let's see where this goes?" Bucky tries to reason with you. He doesn't want to let you go without even getting to know you properly. Like fuck, he hasn't felt this kind of connection in a long, long time.

"Are you sure? 'Cause I'd understand if not, I really would," you try to give him a smile to convince him (and yourself) which doesn't really work.

Bucky slowly takes your hand into his, and squeezes your hand in reassurance, "I'm very sure. I like you, and I don't know If I should be a little offended that you thought I'd mind that you are a mom.."

His attempt at lightening the mood is successful. You chuckle at his words, and he gives you a smile in return.

You eye the bouquet of the flowers in his other hand,"are those for me?"

"Who else?" Bucky murmurs teasingly as he hands you the beautiful flowers.

"Thank you, Bucky. They are beautiful," you say sheepishly, "but I still can't go on the date today. There's nobody who can watch Teo." You tell him a little disappointed.

"No, that's okay, doll. I just wanted to make sure that we were okay, but more importantly that you were okay. I should go tho," he says, and leans down bravely to kiss your cheek goodbye.

He can see your cheeks go rosy instantly. The blush making you even more pretty.

"W-wait, Bucky," you catch his hand before he can turn away, " you could stay, Teo is asleep....we could order pizza or-or whatever you like." You almost face slap yourself for acting like some unsure teenager in love. Stammering over your words.

Bucky thinks it over for a few seconds before he smiles at you," I'd love to, and pizza sounds fantastic."

"Great, c'mon." You happily pull him after you inside the apartment while apologising for all the mess. But Bucky couldn't care less about that, he's just more than happy he gets to spend time with you again.

[devoutekuna]

Bring your child to work

Includes- Toji, Sukuna, Nanami, Gojo, Geto

Sukuna-

Sukuna doesn't have a job, you don't even know how he gets money. So he brings her to a village he recently raided, he sometimes raided them for resources or just for fun. Once he raided one just because he wasn't willing to pay for your pregnancy cravings. "Dad, this village is all burnt!" complaining at the sight of ash everywhere, kicking her foot through the charred grass blades. "Be quiet" glaring at his daughter as he walked away from her. He was trying to look for atleast a child to keep his daughter company. "Don't leave me!" Running up to him, he didn't understand how she could be scared when her father was the king of curses, plus it was broad daylight and no curse would dare get close to him.

Nanami-

"Let me come with you dad!" All dressed up in her father's clothes, frantically trying to tuck in the shirt, into her skirt. Stood Infront of the bathroom door, she had been awaiting her father to come out, walking out with a bottle of shaving foam in his hand. "You can't sweetheart" crouching down to say it, patting her head as a way to comfort her. She had gotten all dressed up by stealing her father's shirt and tie only to be rejected, even putting in his reading glasses to make her seem more professional. He knew for a fact that she wouldn't be coming with him to work, especially since he was on a mission today. Grabbing her by her shoulders as he dragged her out of the way. "Why not?" Begging for a chance. "Cause I said so" walking towards you.

Sat inside the office reading a book, he purposely didn't take any missions today so that his daughter thought that his job was boring and wouldn't ask again. "Dad, your work is boring!" Sat on the armchair beside him, she had nothing to do but wait for the 9 hours to pass. "I told you that" letting her sit through her actions.

Geto-

Geto has his daughter stand behind the curtains whilst he talks to his followers, not wanting her to hear anything he has to say, especially what would come after he gets mad. He has a personal servant bring her noise cancelling headphones when he starts to get annoyed. Crouching beside her as they played a game, she was so clueless to what her beloved father was doing. Murdering the so-called 'monkeys' of society. "When is my daddy done?" Pats on the head, despite having the headphones on she could recognise that from anywhere. "Right here princess" retracting his hand as he picked her up. Taking the headphones off, dropping them into the servant's hand as he walked off. "Hi daddy!"

Gojo-

When Gojo isn't busy, he's either at home with you or teaching his students, unfortunately for them, they were on a mission already. So he was just laying around in his office. "Dad I'm bored" sat on the sofa opposite him. "So am I" slouching in his chair, there was nothing to do. Even his second year students were on a mission. "Let's go see Nanamin" dragging his son out of his office, searching around the campus just to find the blond. Sat in one of the many lounge rooms. A sigh depleting from his mouth as he heard the voice of the strongest. "What is it now?" Refusing to look up from the book. "Nanamin!" Your son knew who Nanami was due to the many times that Gojo dropped him off on the campus when he went on missions. Despite his many times to stop Gojo's son from calling him 'nanamin' it never worked out since he was so much like his father. "We've come to see you!" Sitting down opposite him. "Are you sure you haven't come to drop your son off?" Receiving the snarky comment was like a bullet to the chest, but he was wrong this time.

Toji-

Toji wasn't officially employed, he was basically unemployed but he always acted like he was employed since he brought in good amounts of money. "Papa I want to help" kicking her little legs as she sat playing with one of the weapons. Her father was currently discussing the new target he had, redacting any words that she may pick up on. "No" Shiu carried on rambling on about the prices he would get if it was under a specific time. "Why not!?" Slapping the poor man with the weapon, fortunately it was blunt, just like playful cloud. "Cause you'll get in my way" ripping the weapon from her hands, putting it back inside the worm. Scrunching up her face as soon as she heard the harsh reality, "Mr Shiu would let me come!" Trying to prove her point even more. "No I wouldn't" he should be smoking right now but didn't for the courtesy of your kid, patting the girl's head as they walked out. Toji following behind him, chuckles could be heard as they left.

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere Characters Were Given Three Wishes From a Genie...

As requested by anon. :)

[A few of the jokes in this are WAT spoilers! They are marked in the entry title in case you need to skip 'em]

Cosmere characters have just rubbed a magic lamp and now they're being offered three wishes by a genie! How will that go for them?

1. Steris

Genie: There are three rules! Genie: I cannot kill anyone, I cannot bring anyone back to life, and I cannot make anyone fall in love. Steris: (Taking notes) Can I wish for more wishes? Genie: No. Steris: Can I wish for someone else to have more wishes? Genie: Also no. Steris: Can I cancel a wish in the future if I no longer want it? Genie: ...no. Steris: Can I modify a wish after wishing it? Genie: ...no. Steris: I see. Steris: My first wish, then, is to help you create an actual Wish Rule Handbook because that, I'm afraid, is a lot more than three rules. Steris: Let's get drafting! Genie: Why am I afraid

2. Kelsier

Kelsier: Three wishes? Amazing! Kelsier: First, I'd like to finally obtain the exact physical body I've been dreaming of all these years! Kelsier: Second, I'd like Scadrial to be utterly protected from the nefarious designs of Odium or any other hostile Shard. Kelsier: And third, I'd like Hoid to stub his toe every day for the rest of his life. Kelsier: Phew! That was way easier than what I've been doing! Kelsier: I can't believe I wasted hundreds of years on machinations, ha ha! Genie: ... Kelsier: What?

3. Szeth [Mild WAT spoilers!]

Szeth: (suspiciously) Wishes? Szeth: As in, things that I personally want? Szeth: What is this, some kind of therapy? Szeth: Away with you! Genie: H-Hey, if you want to wish for some therapy, it sounds like that might be kind of helpful for you? Szeth: Away, I say! Genie: Well, I tried.

4. Taravangian

Taravangian: [slams a 400-page tome down on the table] Taravangian: This is my first wish--it includes caveats for every possible loophole, bad faith interpretation, and/or unintended consequence. Taravangian: I declare that this whole book constitutes the sum total of Wish #1. Genie: ...Which is? Taravangian: I'd like Hoid to stub his toe every day for as long as he lives. Genie: ... Genie: That wish required 400 pages?! Taravangian: I like to be thorough.

5. Vin

Vin: I would like to always have the exact metal or metals I desire in my flask as soon as I desire them. Vin: I'd also like Elend to feel a surge of reassurance that yes of course I love him whenever he feels doubt. Genie: Two very fine wishes. What is your third? Vin: Hmmm.... Vin: Honestly, I just keep thinking that I'd like to be faster than a horse. Genie: ...Like, horses in general or one specific horse? Vin: Just...horses in general. Genie: ...It's not the weirdest wish I've heard today.

6. Adolin [WAT SPOILERS!]

Adolin: Oooh, I've always wanted the ability to point at an outfit in a fashion magazine and instantly have that outfit in my perfect size. Genie: Granted! Adolin: I'd also like Shallan to be brought here safely to Azimir if that's what she wants--like, please ask her first just in case. Genie: Granted! Adolin: ... Adolin: I would also like everyone to think I gave those wishes in the reverse order. Genie: Granted! Adolin: Wait, does that count as a wish?? Adolin: ... Adolin: No, actually I'm okay with that.

7. Azure

Azure: I would like to know where Nightblood is, please. Azure: I've been looking for so long! It's IMPOSSIBLE to find! Genie: [silently hands her a map] Azure: ... Azure: IT'S BEEN ON ROSHAR THE WHOLE TIME?!

8. Lightsong

Lightsong: You grant three wishes, huh? Lightsong: I can only grant one wish. And I have to die to do it. Genie: That's a tough break. Lightsong: Well, to be fair I live a life of luxury and worship, rather than being trapped in a tiny lamp. Genie: I appreciate that. Many people treat my abilities as frivolous, wishing for things they could obtain for themselves if they tried or for things they should never truly have. Genie: It is a genuine relief to meet someone who understands the true import of wishes. Lightsong: ... Lightsong: I was gonna wish for you to hand me that glass so I don't have to get up, but now it feels awkward. Genie: ... Lightsong: I'm just really comfortable right now.

9. Kaladin

Kaladin: [muttering to himself] Can't wish for all of my friends to be safe. They'd probably be magically locked in a room forever or something. Kaladin: I could wish for Oroden to grow up happy, but what if that means he dies if he gets sad or something? Or like loses the ability to feel things? Kaladin: I could wish for Moash to go back to how he was, but how could I take away his ability to make choices? Kaladin: It's too much! I don't want any wishes! Genie: Uh....granted? Kaladin: Did that count as a wish???

10. Venli

Venli: I wish for your freedom. Genie: ... Genie: As your first wish? Venli: Yup. Genie: Not as, like, your third wish after you obtain two other wishes? Venli: Nah. Genie: W-Who are you?? Venli: I'm a Willshaper, baby. Tumi: [hums contentedly]

[lucy90712]

Can you do a imagine where gavi is pretending to be mad at y/n and y/n doing several cute tactics to make him happy and he is just secretly enjoying it🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🥺🥺🥺🥺

My last lecture today got cancelled so I was able to get home before Pablo gets home from training. Quite often he gets home before me and he usually leaves before me but we mostly get to spend the evening together even if I have assignments I will do them sat with Pablo. Our schedules can be intense but we have made things work so we always get to spend time together and when one of us is having a hard time the other does things to help out. We are a good team together which I think has helped us stay in a strong and happy relationship for the last two years. 

While I waited for Pablo to come home I had my laptop out and worked on an essay that I have for one of my classes. I didn't get to do that for long before the front door opened and Pablo walked in and threw his bag and shoes on the floor. Straight away I could tell he wasn't in a good mood something had annoyed him and he was trying to keep himself calm. He didn't notice that I was home at first but when he did I noticed the look in his eyes soften a bit as he never likes to take out his frustration on me which he's not perfect with but he tries and that's all I care about. Today I could tell he needed something to make him forget about today so I forgot about my essay and decided I'd make him his favourite snack to see if that would cheer him up a little bit. 

Pablo has always loved my homemade cookies so I made a batch as quickly as I could and put them in the oven as they only take 10 minutes to cook. While I waited Pablo went and showered and changed so by the time he was back downstairs the cookies were done so I put a few on a plate and gave them to him. He ate one of them and then halved the second to give some to me and I can't lie they were good but they didn't really seem to cheer Pablo up as much as I thought it would. Whatever happened while he was gone must've been worse than I thought as usually cookies does the trick but I'll have to get more creative today it seems. 

In the past when Pablo has had a bad day he likes to watch a sitcom so I thought I'd try putting Brooklyn nine nine on as we've watched that together before and he liked it. Today however it didn't seem to make any difference he just sat there staring at the screen not even smiling in the slightest. I would just ask him what's wrong but I've learnt the hard way that it's not always the best idea to do that as it can just make him more annoyed if he doesn't want to talk and it seems like he won't want to talk about whatever's bothering him today. As a sitcom wasn't working I thought maybe his favourite show might cheer him up but yet again it did nothing his eyebrows were still furrowed and he had a look of annoyance in his eyes. 

After that didn't work I tried every other trick I have up my sleeve from showing him tiktoks of cats I saved to cuddling with him as he loves to cuddle but none of my tricks seemed to work. That's when it hit me that he might be mad at me and that's why nothing I do works as he just doesn't want to be around me. I can't think of anything I would've done to make him mad but then again he can get mad over the most random things sometimes. Seeing as I couldn't make him feel better and may be making him feel worse I decided to just take myself upstairs and work on my essay to give him time to be on his own and hopefully be less mad. 

I tried working on my essay but I couldn't stop thinking about what I possibly could've done to make Pablo mad. We didn't fight before he left for training and we were texting before my lecture and during his break in training and he seemed fine then so I don't know what I've done wrong. Thinking about all of that just made me upset as I never like fighting with Pablo as he's not just my boyfriend he's my best friend too there is no one I'd rather spend my time with than him so when he doesn't want to be around me it hurts. Focusing on my essay went out the window quite quickly when tears started to fall from my eyes as I was so worried about whether Pablo will want to break up with me because I can't handle that right now. 

As my tears started to flow properly I had to stifle my sobs so Pablo didn't hear me as I don't need him knowing that I'm crying over seemingly nothing. That's when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and I panicked thinking Pablo had heard me crying and was going to yell at me for being too emotional. As the footsteps got closer I desperately tried to wipe the tears from my face so if he comes in here I can try and pretend I haven't been crying. Just as I feared Pablo opened the bedroom door and of course he could tell I'd been crying as I know my eyes and face were still red and puffy. He didn't say anything just walked to the bed and sat next to me so he could pull me into his arms which I really didn't expect. I looked up at him to see if he still looked mad but he didn't his expression had softened and if anything he looked like he felt guilty. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you mad" I said 

"It's ok you didn't make me mad" he said 

"Then what made you so mad that nothing cheered you up?" I asked 

"Training was frustrating and the guys kept making fun of me so I was just in a bad mood then I came home and you made me cookies which did make me feel better but then I wanted to see what else you would do to make me feel better but I see now that doing that was a bad idea” he said 

"So you aren't mad at me?" I asked

"No not at all and I'm sorry that I did that I really didn't mean to make you cry in fact that's the last thing I wanted I can promise you I'll never even do that again I'll always communicate my feelings with you so this doesn't happen again" he apologised 

"You better not do this again" I laughed 

"I definitely won't and I'm going to make it up to you" he said

He started on making it up to me straight away by laying down and getting me to cuddle into his chest as he knows that's my favourite way to cuddle. That wasn't the only thing he did he also played with my hair as he knows that I like that and he gave me a lot of kisses which always make me happier. We spent most of the rest of the day cuddling the only time we stopped was when Pablo ordered food from my favourite restaurant for dinner even though I'd told him I'd forgiven him already he insisted that he still had more to do to make up for making me cry which he said he was going to do for the rest of the week which is fine by me if it means I get to spend quality time with him. 

[nixnight1]

Regulus finds a note inside one of his books when he reaches his room to change.

Hey Reg, I wanted to talk to you about the prom. When I asked you I didn't realize you had so many dates, I was just trying to be nice, but you can take me off the list because clearly you got a lot going on. And the truth is I didn't want to go anyway. I don't care about prom.

James.

Regulus cries for hours after reading that piece of paper.

----

Regulus dressed with a suit.

Sirius: So...who's the unluky man you decided to go to prom with?

Regulus: Actually...nobody, I'm taking myself to prom. Just like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in pink

Sirius: ???

Regulus: it's a very important muggle movie about self acceptance

Remus: Muggle movie?

Regulus: Shut up

Remus: wait...I thought you were going with Prongs, he was all excited about it

Sirius: 🙄🙄🙄

Regulus: I was...but then I guess he decided he didn't want to go to prom after all

Sirius:...

Regulus: Well...I'm off to prom. Can you take a muggle picture please?

Regulus extends a Polaroid camera to Sirius and Sirius without saying a word takes the picture. Regulus is not really smiling when the picture finally reveals, he has his eyes a little red and is standing very awkward.

Regulus doesn't even see it, just waves goodbye and goes.

Peter: I know I don't really care about your brothers life and never speak to him, but that's just the saddest thing I've ever seen

Sirius:...yeah

-----

Sirius running through the qidditch field where he finds James flying around: PRONGS WHAT THE FUCK

James sees him and goes down: what the fuck me? What the fuck you!

Sirius: You told my brother you were going to take him to prom and then you just like cancel on him last minute?

James: what are you talking about, he has like a million dates

Sirius: No he hasn't, James!! He went to prom alone, he wanted to go with you. So...Nice going

James: You don't even like us together

Sirius: It's not about me, James! It's about my brother

James: He doesn't even like me!!

Sirius: Oh my god. Are you an idiot? Do you not see how he gets those weird googly eyes whenever he's in the same place with you and tries to hide his grin like an idiot?

James: He grins?

Sirius: It's completely disgusting and makes me want to vomit but for whatever reason he still really likes you. And you really hurt him!! Not that's not cool! You do NOT hurt my brother!!

James has three seconds to process what he just heard before throwing his broom away and start running to the castle.

----

Regulus: Hey B, I'm kind of tired, I think I'm just going to go to sleep. Can you tell the others?

Barty: You sure Reg? :/

Regulus: Yeah...its okay

Regulus starts walking away when suddenly James appears in the grate hall with his quidditch garments on.

James: Reg!!!

Regulus: James? What are you doing here

James: I came to take you to prom

Regulus: I thought you didn't care about prom

James: I don't...I only care about you. I know it didn't work out last time and you told me to forget you. But the thing is Reg...I can't. I think about you all the time. And I get up and I think okay...I won't think about him today, but then it backfires and I think about you even more!

Regulus who is in fact grinning like an idiot, takes him by his quidditch shirt and kisses him.

[agentstarkid]

REVENANT ✦ DR3

The word "Revenant" originates from the French term meaning "one who returns", typically referring to someone who has come back from the dead. In a broader, metaphorical sense, it can signify a powerful return or revival of one's presence or influence after a period of absence or dormancy. Much like a phoenix rising from its ashes, a revenant embodies the idea of rebirth and transformation. This concept fits perfectly with the rebirth of someone's image, suggesting a dramatic resurgence where the individual re-emerges stronger and more resilient than before. Just as the phoenix symbolizes renewal and immortality, a revenant signifies the indomitable spirit of overcoming past setbacks and reasserting oneself with renewed vigor and purpose. In the context of personal reinvention, the revenant represents a profound metamorphosis, where an individual sheds their old self, overcoming the remnants of past failures, heartaches, and struggles.

✦ PAIRING: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ PIT BOARD: social media au | ✦ FC: becky g

✦ TRACK LIMITS: just fluff and Rúben being a simp <3

✦ MAY'S RADIO: hooooli, guys! MERRY CHRISTMAS, FELIZ NAVIDAD!!! Sending you all big hugs and forehead kisses 🤗 it's been a while...*checks wristwatch* huh only six months 😅 if you are still here you have my full gratitude and love. Thank you for being patient with me 🖤 it's definiely been a crazy year for me, especially the second half of it! To the nonnie(s) that asked for more Rúben, this chapter is all for you 😘 and tysm for all the asks you send me, those are the highlight of my week! OH to the nonnie who didn't believe when I said it was coming this december...buen provecho, bebé 😏🖤

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JANUARY 3, 2023

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January 23, 2023

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yourinstagram Ain't got time for dying, I'm too busy thriving

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bohnes ✔ Song choice on point, attitude on fire 🔥

alexalbon ✔ YN, please, my girlfriend is on this app

lilymhe ✔ mooove I'm trying to stare at yn 😍 alexalbon ✔ lilymhe 😤😤😤 yourinstagram ✔ are we about to kiss rn?? lilymhe move noddle boy don't be greedy alexalbon

carmenmmundt ✔ oh my, yourinstagram drop the routine please 😍

rubendias ✔ Keep showing them how it’s done. That’s the woman I love ❤️

yourinstagram ✔ rubendias I know an amazing man from who I learn a lot from ❤️

andrew_allen ✔ can't stop, won't stop 🫡

chloestroll ✔ This is the energy we all need in our lives

pauljasonklein ✔ They weren’t ready for this level of unbothered energy 💅

lewishamilton ✔ Let your success be the loudest clapback

chappellroan ✔ They’re watching, wishing they had your strength

mariahthescientist ✔ some people are just background noise while you're center stage

taylorswift ✔ Imagine thinking you could mess with Y/N

saweetie ✔ mood: middle finger up, success all around 🖕💅

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FEBRUARY 1, 2023

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FEBRUARY 4, 2023

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yourinstagram 08.03.23 💋

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user EVERYONE GET UP POP LATIN EMERGENCY

lilymhe ✔ WE WILL BE STREAMING

tchalamet ✔ seated.

ameliadimz ✔ omg

user3 Can't wait!! what kind of vibes are we getting this time?

user4 WE ARE READY FOR THE NEW ERAAAAAAA

user5 This video has such powerful energy! It’s like Y/N saying, ‘I’m done with the bullshit and I’m stronger than ever’ Can’t wait to hear these songs 🤩

madelyncline ✔ i canceled my plans for this

user6 She’s burning it all down—those love notes are GONE. She’s rising from the ashes stronger than ever!!

sabrinacarpenter ✔ I forgot how to breathe omg

user7 ARE THOSE THE LOVE NOTES BEING BURNED???!!! AND SHE CHOSE TODAY OF ALL DAYS TO POST IT??? 😭

userA choosing what would've been her 3rd anniversary with daniel to post this video is a bold move lmao she is THAT BITCH and she done giving af as she mahfucking should 👏👏

user8 The flames reflecting in her eyes, the love notes, and then that last frame of her just looking unbothered?? QUEEN 👑

user9 Sis is burning down everything that doesn’t serve her anymore. This album is about to be a masterpiece of heartbreak and growth 🔥💔

user10 This video is EVERYTHING. She’s putting her past in the fire, and it’s only making her stronger. Album of the year incoming!! 🤩

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MARCH 1, 2023

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yourinstagram Last night was a dream I never imagined. Thank you, billboard, for the Impact Award – an honor I share with every single person fighting for change, for equality, for representation. 🌟

Using my platform to support underrepresented communities across the U.S. and Latin America is my greatest privilege, but the work is far from over. We have a long road ahead, and it’s up to all of us to keep pushing for a world where every voice is heard and every dream has a chance. 💖

I made a vow to my community, to my family, to my younger self that maybe the promise wasn’t that I wouldn’t leave where I came from, but that I would take where I’m from wherever I go. Without fear, there is no courage and with that same courage, we can make impact. This isn’t just my award – it’s for everyone who stands up, speaks out, and lifts others up. Let’s keep going, together ✨

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rubendias ✔ ¡Parabéns, anjo! Eres un ejemplo de cómo usar tu voz para el bien. Sigue brillando, mi amor 💖 [⥂ translation: Congratulations, angel! You are an example of how to use your voice for good. Keep shining, my love 💖]

userA WAIT HE SPEAKS SPANISH, TOO?! 😳 SHUUUUUTCHOO MOUFF 🥵 userB yourinstagram when's the wedding???

mrodofficial ✔ YESSS!! You’re a real one, always out here making waves. Congrats, mi reina 👑🖤

dovecameron ✔ no one's more deserving than you 🖤

user Some people tried to dim your light, but you’ve only grown brighter. You’re showing everyone what it means to rise above the noise and make a REAL impact. We’re so proud of you!

americaferrera ✔ An award that reflects the beautiful person you are, inside and out. You deserve this and so much more. Love you! ❤️

taylorswift ✔ So proud of you!! Your heart, your talent, your impact—everything you do inspires me and so many others. Congrats on this well-deserved award! 💖

user2 THIS is what we love to see—someone making waves and lifting others up. Thank you for being the role model we all need

user3 Seeing you win this award after all the struggles you faced… WOW. You’re a shining example of strength and perseverance

fioamato Girl, they tried to knock you down, but you’ve only risen higher 🔥

lizzo ✔ LEGEND. You inspire so many people and this award proves that. Keep shining, sis! 💫🙌

rosalia.vt ✔ ¡Felicidades hermosa! Esto es solo el principio de todo lo que estás logrando. Te quiero mucho ❤️🔥 [⥂ translation: Congrats beautiful! This is just the beginning of everything you are achieving. I love you so much.]

itsvittoriasousa What they don’t understand is that you’ve always been more than the noise. You’ve been quietly making waves, and now the world is seeing the real you ❤️

user4 While others were busy trying to tear you down, you were busy lifting others up. That’s what makes you different. That’s what makes you legendary 🙌

karolg ✔ ¡Esooo! Siempre tan increíble en todo lo que haces. Te lo mereces, Y/N. 💖✨ #BossLady [⥂ translation: That's right! Always so amazing in everything you do. You deserve it, Y/N.]

user5 You’ve faced the storm with grace and turned it into something powerful. Your dedication to helping others shows what a true queen you are. We love you, Y/N! 💕👑

iamdannaschwarz Congrats babe!!! You’re such a force, I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. This is just the beginning. 💫💜

greeicy ✔ ¡Yasss! ¡Tú lo mereces todo! Proud of you, amiga, sigue rompiendo barreras y haciendo historia. 💪🏽💜

halsey ✔ Your heart is as big as your talent. This award couldn’t have gone to a better person. Congrats, love! 💕

evalongoria ✔ 👏👏👏 You’re a true inspiration, keep using that platform for good. So proud of you, love! 💖

anitta ✔ QUEEN! You’re killing it and this is just proof. Congrats on everything! 💃🏼💖

evaluna ✔ Te quiero y te admiro tanto!! You’re an inspiration to all of us. Congrats on this award, it’s so deserved ❤️✨

salmahayek ✔ ¡Esooo! Siempre haciendo la diferencia. You’re a true star inside and out. Proud of you, mi reina! 🔥💜

cardib ✔ Yessss!!! You out here doing big things, mama! Keep shining and making that impact 💪🏽🔥

ivyqueendiva ✔ Pa'lante siempre, mami! Este premio es solo un reflejo de la grandeza que llevas dentro. ¡Felicidades! 💜👑

nattinatasha ✔ ¡Orgullosa de ti, siempre usando tu voz para el bien! Congrats, amiga, te lo mereces. 💖🙌

sza ✔ Your power is undeniable, and your heart even more so. Congrats, babe! Keep changing the world. 🌍💫

user6 the video of her meeting lana is sooo cute!! you can clearly see how excited and nervous she was 🥹

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MARCH 8, 2023

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APRIL 2, 2023

liked by xtina, danielricciardo, rubendias and 2,145,873 others

yourinstagram I'm not a martyr, I'm a problem 💋 This record is my heart laid bare—stories of love, loss, strength, and everything in between. It’s raw, vulnerable, and unapologetically me. ✨ These songs are my heart in harmony, and I hope they find a place in yours.

This one’s for the fighters, the dreamers, and anyone who’s ever rebuilt themselves from the ashes. To everyone who’s been on this journey with me—thank you for waiting, supporting, and giving me your love through it all ❤️‍🔥 REVENANT IS OUT NOW‼️

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rubendias ✔ A masterpiece from a woman who’s already the greatest work of art 💯❤️

yourinstagram ✔ And yet somehow, you’re the one who leaves me speechless 😘

maya_hawke ✔ what the heck girl this is sooooo good!!!

luisinhaoliveira99 the queen is back ❤️ ily

phoebebridgers ✔ Creating magic with you was a dream. So proud of the song and so proud of you. 🖤✨

leonbridges ✔ It was an honor to bring superbloom to life with you. Your vision and talent are next level—this album is pure gold 🙌🏿

reesewitherspoon ✔ favorites so far: 1. Superbloom 2. Nightmare 3. Who's afraid of little old me?

kelseaballerini ✔ on repeat all day! ily, you beautiful mind

halsey ✔ They tried to bury you, but you grew roots instead

taylorswift ✔ Another masterpiece from the queen herself

yourinstagram ✔ what can I say, I have a great mentor 🤷🏽‍♀️💖

lewishamilton ✔ Even from the ashes, we still rise 💜

yourinstagram ✔ lewishamilton It’s not about how we fall but how we rise—and you’ve always reminded me of that. Love you, big bro 💜 Forever grateful.

natalie_pinkham ✔ Some stories are worth waiting for ❤️

userA can I just say that I love how all of Daniel's friends are always so lovely towards her even if they've been broken up for over a year, that kind of let's you know what kind of a person she is 🥹

martingarrix ✔ Proud to see you create something this special! Absolutely incredible 👏🏻

sabrinacarpenter ✔ I was NOT ready for this album! wow, just wow

lancebass ✔ I haven't even gotten through the whole thing because I had to keep playing so many over and over and over! You done GOOD Y/N! ❤️❤️

yourinstagram ✔ UHM HELLO?? I LOVE YOU??? ❤️

user A year of silence, and then BOOM! Y/N just reminded everyone why she’s untouchable. This album is art. 🔥

scottyjames31 ✔ I'm sure all of Monaco already knows every lyric from the album from being on repeat for hours 🤘🏻

user2 the important question here is... have daniel already listened to the album????? 👀👀👀

userA user BESTIE I THINK HE DEFINITELY DID HE JUST LIKED HER POST!!! userB somebody send the cia to his house bcuz I need to know if he is on the floor, on his knees, tears falling to the ground, pathetic, gripping his chest to try and stop the pain 😤

user3 I was honestly expecting more songs about Danielito on the album

userA bestie sameee! but I have this theory that she's saving those more heart-wrenching songs for later 😶‍🌫️ userB userA yes yes yes bc u can't tell me she only wrote like 9 songs for him?? fuck no, she's evil (lovingly) she's gonna drop those when we least expect it and leave us in shambles i just know it

user4 The best art is created from struggle and sadness,,, this album is sad and real and Y/N,,, It makes me wanna punch anyone that hurt that woman's feelings,,, but no one can punch them worse than Y/N and her piano, guitar and pen. happy she found happiness

noahkahan ✔ obsessed ❤️

reneerapp ✔ For the life of me, I can’t comprehend how someone can deliver a perfect song like camera roll? You have such an incredible tone, your pen game is unreal…

user5 She went through hell and came back like this?!! Y/N, you’re a literal goddess. This album is everything and more

sophiet ✔ girl you bet it's been on repeat ALL DAY LONG ❤️

keleighteller ✔ The charts are shaking already ❤️

user6 This album is a reminder that no matter what life throws at her, Y/N is always going to come out on top. She just keeps winning 👑

daughtry ✔ This is what music is all about—raw, real, and unforgettable. Huge congrats! 👏

user7 Why is ‘Camera Roll’ making me feel things I wasn’t ready to feel today? this song just ripped me apart & ruined me GOODNIGHT !!!!!

userA she just knows how to capture that bittersweet nostalgia perfectly userB knowing how much she loves photography I KNOW her camera roll is full of photos of Daniel 😭 I'd sell my soul to be able you go through each and every single one of them userC It’s not just about scrolling through pictures; it’s about how those photos hold pieces of a love that’s no longer there. As someone who loves photography too, it hits so deep—those little moments captured forever, but the person’s gone 💔 userD she was so right abt going through your camera roll. do not touch that shit. oh my god.

user8 'I’m Not a Woman, I’m a God' is THAT song. Y/N’s on her goddess energy and I’m here for every second of it 👑

user9 When 'Traitor' came on, I felt that in my soul. She put her whole heart into this one 💔😭 Daniel u better ruuuuuun #JusticeForYN

user10 the whole album going from being so full of rage and anger with the first songs to heartbreak and hurt to resignation and acceptance to finding happiness and falling in love again is just sooo chef's kiss!!!!

user11 was having a good day and then I listened to doomsday and now i’m crying in my car before work

user12 I can’t get over how vulnerable 'The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived' is. It’s so poetic but hits like a dagger 💔

userA that song is definitely about Sebastián The Rat userB "You didn't measure up in any measure of a man" sheeeeesh if I was him I'd go to the furthest place on earth and never show my face again userC he should have just stay quiet lmao she murdered him

user13 the smallest man who ever lived was written for people with exes who will never take accountability for their own actions , thank u y/n

user14 Quisiera borrarme la memoria y volver a darle play a “Space Cowboy” esperando que la canción fuera sobre un vaquero espacial y luego darte cuenta que es sobre dejar ir al vaquero del que estás enamorado porque ya no quiere estar contigo

user15 Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve is the darkest song Y/N has ever written. I’m literally nauseous, it was grooming point blank. And Y/N called him out on it

userA “Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first” is giving me chills userB sebastian's days are so very numbered I feel SICK after listening to it userC ‘Memories are weapons.’ The heaviness of that, and the way all of us that have experienced trauma felt that line. userD it was seriously so heartbreaking and her vocals literally sound like longing to be set free from those dark memories and wanting to erase the experience still having to bear the toll it takes on you

user16 i love how in dear reader y/n starts giving us advice and tells us to never take advice from someone who's falling apart and a few seconds later she's literally falling apart, even when she's giving advice you can hear a distorted voice say "you should find another" that song is a masterpiece

user17 I can’t stop cryinggggg with ‘Bigger Than the Whole Sky’ 💔😭 This song… I’m devastated. Knowing it was written for Daniel just makes it hit even harder. The emotion in every lyric is unreal

userA that song is so hauntingly beautiful. Y/N’s voice captures the pain of losing someone so perfectly. You can feel the heartbreak in every note, she’s singing all the things we never say when love ends. This one’s going to stay with me for a long time 🥺 userB "Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness" just cuts me so deep userC This song made me feel things I wasn’t ready to feel 🥺 is like Y/N’s goodbye letter to Daniel, but the love is still there, in every lyric. You can feel the weight of the love she lost in every single word 💔 userD She turned heartbreak into art, and now I’m over here crying my eyes out

user18 who the hell allowed y/n l/n to write “nothing new” and then ALSO have phoebe bridgers feature on it cause OW

user19 this whole album was so well curated like it went from female rage to heartbreak to sadness to a (small) "i'm in love again" interlude to acceptance and finally "this is me, i'm human"

user20 Rúben Dias has this girl in her feels, huh?

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rubendias To the world, she’s a superstar. To me, she’s everything 🌍💙 Orgulhoso, anjo 😘 Happy Revenant Day everyone!

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yourinstagram ✔ te amo meu céu 💙

jackgrealish ✔ if I had a dollar for every time u mentioned Y/N’s album these past month I’d be able to buy them all myself! 😂😂 big congrats youinstagram 💙 album is fire! 🔥

♥ yourinstagram likes this

zecondessa ✔ Ser o teu melhor amigo significa que recebo passes grátis para os bastidores? 👀

⥂ translation: Does being your best friend mean I get free backstage passes? 👀

bernardocarvalhosilva ✔ parabéns a ela por ser a super-estrela e a si por de alguma forma a convencer a ficar consigo! 😬 [⥂ translation: Congrats to her on being a superstar and to you for somehow convincing her to stay with you! 😬]

yourinstagram ✔ obrigada, bernardocarvalhosilva! hmm convincing might be a stretch—but his cooking did help to seal the deal. I stay well-fed and well-loved ☺️

ivandias03 Guess I’ll have to start saying "my brother’s girlfriend just dropped the best album of the year" now, huh? 😆 Parabéns yourinstagram 👏🏽❤️

yourinstagram ✔ ivandias03 obrigado Vanzinho ❤️

erling.haaland ✔ Mate you must have some serious charm because Y/N is in a whole different league! 😂 Congrats to her on the album!! big respect to her! 🔥

user THEY are everything to me

user2 he's acting like he's not the best CB in the world right now...

userA he's also the best boyfriend 😏 yourinstagram ✔ userA retweeted liked reblogged pinned userB yourinstagram QUEEN YOU ONLY DESERVE THE BEST OF THE BEST!!

mancity ✔ brb going to add the whole album to our game day playlist 🏃🏽‍♂️‍➡️

user3 Long live to the only man that matters: Rúben Dias 😍❤️

user3 he calls her "his angel" someone fucking hold me i'm sobbing

user4 rúben is so supportive and you can tell he really adores her. She deserves it 💖

user5 me adoptan? lavo los platos

user6 fan de su relación 😍

user7 I don't know which one of them is more gorgeous

user8 not to start any drama but Heidi whatchu doing here girl 👀

userA fun fact: her and rúben have been following each other for years userB she's allowed to like posts she likes 🤷‍♀️ userC it's just weird she's liking HIS post about the woman she replaced userD i think u all are reading too much into it. she's a known actress in portugal ofc he's gonna know abt her and he's a footballer in the portuguese nt so ofc she knows him

user9 Do you ever stop and think about how lucky Ruben is? Y/N L/N is an absolutely stunning latina billionaire who is genuinely sweet, hilarious, smart, can dance, speaks various languages, and also happens to be the one of the biggest artists in history. Those Aussies really fumbled the bag.

userA user9 and how lucky y/n is since ruben is a 6’2” professional athlete who happens to be on of the best in his position, took the league by storm, is emotionally very intelligent and absolutely handsome. Why do you guys keep mentioning another man when that relationship ended 1 year ago? let it go elsa userB "Those Aussies really fumbled the bag." What did I do? userC If you ask Ruben, there are no ifs, ands, or buts, SHE’S the prize. He worships her. Most likely he asks himself every day how he managed to snag her. But it is also true that he’s sexy af, sweet, rich, and the best there ever was in what he does. So, yeah, she’s also lucky. user9 All of y’all getting mad about this comment are funny. Of course she’s lucky to have Rúben, too. One glance at my profile will show you I’m a big fan of his. That’s just not what this comment was about. And you know who would agree with me about how lucky Rúben is? RÚBEN.

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APRIL 14, 2023

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yourinstagram Mi gente, did you know 96% of the population here in Coachella is Latino? ✨Pura raza✨This years festival lineup gives me so much hope for more space, opportunity & representation for our Latin communities. Honored to have made it to the main stage this year. There are no words. Agradecida y bendecida. It’ll take me a minute to process all that was these last two weekends. But for now, just… THANK YOU. ✨💖 #Y/NCHELLA

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user1 how did she have a glow up on top of a glow up on top of already being beautiful

oliviarodrigo ✔ Queen of Coachella right there 👑🔥 You did that!

lilnasx ✔ sis you SNAPPED!! You own every stage you step on

manuelturizo ✔ Lo diste todo, reina 🔥🔥 Felicitaciones por ese show tan brutal!!

jbalvin ✔ 💥🔥 Tremendo show, felicidades! ¡Orgullo latino!

user2 i'm sick bc why am i not there

zedd ✔ you brought the heat 🔥

fioamato Coachella just wasn’t ready for that level of slay, babe 🔥🖤

emmachamberlain ✔ The energy, the vibes, the stage presence!! You absolutely smashed it 🌈✨

YOU DID THAT BABY! 🔥🔥 We need to collab soon, for real!!

kaliuchis ✔ Coachella was YOURS! Such a beautiful and powerful performance 💖

luisfonsi ✔ ¡Qué espectáculo! So proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished 🔥

user3 come fa a essere sempre cosi divina

user4 she ate it so bad she’s REALLY an A LIST

user5 Say what you want about her but Miss Y/N can PERFORM!!

lelepons ✔ GIRL you were UNSTOPPABLE up there!! So much love for you!

theestallion ✔ Babe!! That was a SHOWWW!!! You brought the energy 🔥 Love you!

you ATE sis! That performance was wild

user6 O CABELO, A ROUPA, ELA, MEU DEUS QUE MULHER PERFECTA

♥ rubendias ✔ liked this

user7 not to be dramatic but this changed my life

haileesteinfeld ✔ Unstoppable 🔥🔥 You absolutely owned that stage. Congrats, love!!

user8 i am foaming at the mouth

user9 Queen energy all the way! You lit that stage up 💥👏

milliebobbybrown ✔ OMG YOU WERE UNREAL!! So proud of you, babe 💖

postmalone ✔ WILD performance!! You had the crowd going crazy 🔥 Congrats!

user10 i cried 2x, couldn't catch my breath 5x being there was life changing

userA the crowd actually went wild for her userB HER STAGE PRESENCE IS INSANEEEE

user11 She's an icon, she's a legend and she is the moment

user12 can't believe someone fumbled THE Y/N L/N

♥ rubendias ✔ liked this

user13 LOOK AT HER SHE'S IN HER I MADE IT MOMENT

userA Finally she deserves it userB now this is what I want to see at coachella userC she killed it! best performance of the day userD such a baddie

user14 when i tell you it was PACKED of celebs... THIS QUEEN DID THAT AND NOT ONLY ONCE, BUT BOTH WEEKENDS!!!

userA no fr shawn mendes, bad bunny, sabrina carpenter, billie eilish... userB LEWIS WAS THERE TOO!! userC my man was vibing hard throughout her whole set

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APRIL 28, 2023

Y/N L/N ON Heartbreak, Healing, and Reclaiming Her Power | Jay Shetty Podcast

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MAY 7, 2023

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yourinstagram Fast cars, hot nights and Miami lights 🏁🌆

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lilymhe ✔ In Miami the sun isn't the only thing that's blazing

redbullracing ✔ I thought we had something special 😔

yourinstagram ✔ redbullracing sorry, I also thought the same thing once about someone and... yeah 😬 redbullracing ✔ yourinstagram 😳😔💔 landonorris ✔ F in the chat fioamato 🍿🍿👀 userA Y/N 😲 LMAOOOO andrew_allen smh 😦😮‍💨

schecoperez ✔ Espero que hayas pasado genial. Es bueno compartir de nuevo! [⥂ translation: I hope you had a great time. It was good to hang out again!]

user WHEN I SAW HER ON BRUNDLE'S GRID WALK I SCREAMEDDD

userA martin is one of the girls, he also wants the tea lmao i mean asking her "I know you and some of the drivers go way back—anyone here you’re /particularly excited/ to catch up with this weekend?" and making specific emphasis on those words was wilddddd lol

user2 checo what are you doing here mate

landonorris ✔ Can’t believe they let you back in here…Good to see you haven’t forgotten your way around the paddock!

yourinstagram landonorris I just followed the sound of your whining and found my way back 🤷🏽‍♀️ glad to know things haven't changed, landito 😊 userA wtf why is she being rude to him??? userB userA relaxxx they're just joking!!! they actually get along well, they've always pretended to be annoyed by the other it's a running joke 😂

user3 not her posting a merc photo right after red bull posted her on their socials lmao

userA she's said she's a merc girlie userB nah she's a merc girlie by proxy, she's a Hamilton girlie she's said it herself

lewishamilton ✔ nice to have you back sis 💜

user4 so paddock comeback AND a world tour announcement?!? oh she SPOILS us for reaaaaal

user5 Okay, here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. One winner, forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Speed. Faster than fast, quicker than quick. I am Lightning ⚡

userA girl u okay? 👀 user userA i'm saying my affirmations and training my reflexes for when that tickets link drops getcha get my head in the game yk 🫡

user6 checo wants to see the world burn lmao

userA fr fr i can't with the fact that he invited her to the rbr hospitality when daniel and heidi were around the paddock lmao userB i NEED to know if they crossed paths!!! i want all the tea userC some gossip pages say that both parties tried hard not to cross paths, going as far as Y/N going to the hospitality only once the team made sure Daniel OR Heidi weren't there userB yikes that's a little petty innit userA userB if it were u in her shoes would u like to be face to face with ur ex and the girl he changed u for? i'd be even pettier ngl she deserves to be as petty as her heart desires

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MAY 14, 2023

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yourinstagram Happy 25th birthday to the man who somehow always knows exactly what to say—whether in his quiet, thoughtful pauses or his easy laughter, that deep, genuine laugh that’s impossible not to join in ❤️

I love the way you watch the world with that quiet, thoughtful gaze, noticing beauty where others might pass it by. I love the way you bring passion to everything you do—from the way you fold your shirts to the way you double-knot your shoes with that focused little frown, how you playfully roll your eyes at my ‘brilliant’ tik tok ideas that never leave my drafts, and always manage to know when I need a hug, even if I won’t say it out loud. I love the way you insist on folding towels just so, even when you know I’ll mess them up again. I cherish how you hum little tunes without realizing it, how you light up talking about home, about your favorite dishes (where you never miss a chance to remind me that bacalhau & arroz de pato are life 🤌🏽), and how you insist on making everything from scratch because, to you, life’s beauty is in the details.

Thank you for being the gentleness in my chaos, the warmth in my winters, for always reminding me to find my own light, and be the love I never saw coming. Thank you for being you ❤️ Here’s to more adventures, more laughter, and more nights cooking by your side.

I miss you!!!! Counting the hours to see you ⏳

Te amo un mundo, mi cielo ❤️‍🔥

tagged: rubendias

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rubendias ✔ God I'm so in love with you. You’re everything ❤️

ivandias03 ❤️

user oh don't mind me, I just got a "Thank you for being the gentleness in my chaos, the warmth in my winters" in my eyes 😭😭😭😭😭

jackgrealish ✔ love u both 💙💙💙

itsvittoriasousa Feliz aniversário, Gato! 🎉 obrigada por fazê-la tão feliz! ☺️

rubendias ✔ itsvittoriasousa Não tens de quê, ela é meu presente mais precioso 😌

user2 wait is she not at Goodison Park? I thought her last story from a plane was to go to Liverpool

userA I don't think so, tomorrow's Chloe & Scotty's wedding in Venice, she must be there userB wow so she'd rather go to a wedding than spent his birthday with him 🙃girlfriend of the year lmao userC userB 1. he has a game today so most likely he'll be focus on that so I don't think he'll have too much time to party tonight and 2. I'm pretty sure they've talked about their plans beforehand and both are happy with it sooo GET LOST!

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MAY 15, 2023

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JUNE 10 - 13, 2023

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JUNE 18, 2023

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✦ MAY'S RADIO: ok ok thoughts? wanna hear all about it, pleasee! 👀 I might've change the album cover and the songlist a thousand times already, and I might've done it again if I didn't post it now. I didn't wanna have too many t-swizzle songs because, well, she exist in this universe, but she's just too relatable ya know?

[nerdyjournals]

Sweet Sugar

ship: skz x diabetic!reader

Note: i, myself, am a type 2 diabetic. So a lot of these things come from my experience.

WARNING: MENTIONS OF INJECTIONS AND NEEDLES

Hyung Line. Maknae Line.

Bang Chan

Noticed you were super lethargic, like more so than normal. When asking you about it, you just waved him off and said that it probably was your sugar

Obviously, he was as confused until you pulled up an app on your phone. A big 201 took up the top of the screen.

He took your phone - scrolling through the app - as you reached for your bag, pulling out a container of peanuts. He finally understood what was going on.

You explained to him that you get super tired when it gets low as well as high. Diabetes fatigue, you said. You two were about to head out, so you couldn't exactly take a nap.

He offered to cancel and reschedule, but you just said you were used to it. He didn't like that. So he drags you to the living room and sets you on the couch to snack and rest.

He makes you share the app to his phone so he can see when you drop or rise when absolutely necessary.

Lee Know

It all started because you didn't seem excited when he announced what he was making for dinner. You haven't really had beef ribs since your diagnosis.

He was ultimately confused before you explained that red meat has a possibility to shoot up your sugar and leave you feeling off. It's not that you can't have it, but it's been a while.

He can see that you feel guilty as you assure him to still make it since everything was out. An idea clicks in his head before ushering you into the living room and told to wait.

You don't really question him as he goes about working, not even when he answers a delivery at the door.

By the time he calls you in, the table is set with the ribs, sides, and a plate of chicken. Same seasonings and everything. He could see the guilt reappearing on your face, and would have none of that.

He sat you down, placed the chicken in front of you, and took his own seat. He said nothing until you started eating, humming in contempt when you dug in.

It felt nice that he didn't get mad or make you feel like the bad guy. He just accommodated you and still respected you. It was perfect.

Changbin

The loud beeping of your phone caught his attention, making him laugh as you scrambled to turn it off.

You let out a groan and looked around for your bag, pulling out a small insulated bag, and excusing yourself to the restroom.

He said nothing, just a little confused. It was when you came back rubbing at your belly that he spoke up. You had to inject some insulin with all the snacks the two of you had today, nothing too special.

You could see the panic rise to his eyes before quickly assuring him that you were okay. You just didn't account for all your favorite goodies to be in his studio and you went at them like a man starved. You just had to be mindful for the rest of the day.

He immediately asked you if he had to get rid of the snacks and realized you'd rather put his head in a spike than lose access to your favorites...playfully.

A lot of personal stuff had been happening recently and you were the type to eat your feelings. He was too.

The best compromise you could come up with was finding similar snacks to fix the craving and keep you steady while keeping the bad ones under lock and key of which Changbin had.

Hyunjin

It was the clicking coming from the bathroom that caught his attention. He pushed open the cracked door to check on you, only to find you injecting insulin into your stomach.

He quickly backed up out of shock and re-shut the door. Waiting another second before knocking in the door, he slowly opened it. You were rubbing the spot with an amused look on your face.

The two of you were about to have dinner, and you had to prep yourself first. The injections were fairly new, so the two of you would have to get used to it.

He spends the whole meal talking and asking questions about your condition. You do your best to explain and it suffices.

It amazes him that you're able to be so functional after you talk about some of the side effects and handicaps.

In the following days, he does research about what snacks are safe for you and sticks them in the apartment. It throws him for a loop when he sees the bottles of medicine you leave with him as back up. Since when do they make pills that size?!

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[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

When you were gone

Self-Aware! BSD x SAGAU Imposter crossover

Self-Aware! Nikolai Gogol x GN! Reader

Description: You disappeared one month ago...

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

_____

You felt so sleepy. You go to your room, yawning. Tonight, you won't have a cuddle buddy. You tried to offer some cuddles to Kolya. But he refused.

"Sorry, Birdy, but I can't cuddle with you tonight. I will practice all night for the magic show."

You just nodded and left for your room.

"Okay. Goodnight, Kolya."

Your room's door closed behind you. Gogol feels a pang of guilt. You looked so lonely. Maybe, he should go to you and cuddle?

Nikolai shook his head.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he will bring you coffee in bed and you two will cuddle.

You will be there tomorrow.

_____

Day 1

_____

You were late for breakfast.

Too late.

Everyone already were in the dining room, eating.

Nikolai smirked at himself. Were you waiting for him to arrive with your coffee? Well, give him a minute.

He was brewing coffee. Two cups. One cup was made to be perfect for your taste.

After preparations were done, Nikolai Gogol took the tray with coffee mugs, creamer and bowl of sugar and went to your room.

He will wake you up (by starting a tickle fight). Then you two will drink coffee.

Nikolai let out a small laugh. Maybe, he will plant a kiss on your nose after coffee will be drank.

He knocked on your door. You didn't answer.

Nikolai Gogol opened the door.

You weren't in your room.

He didn't hear the sounds of running water.

And your bed was made. And cold.

Did you go on a run? Or to the market?

How long were you gone?

When you will return?

Nikolai's eyes shrank, when he noticed your phone on the bedside table.

You left it.

You always bring your phone with you.

Nikolai had a bad feeling about it.

*****

It's been hours.

And you haven't returned yet.

It's been hours.

And all of them were searching everywhere.

It's been hours.

And you were nowhere to be found.

________

Day 7

________

Week...

It has been a week since you disappeared.

Everyone were devastated.

Nikolai fell down on his bed.

He didn't care, that the blood on his clothes will dirty the covers.

Today, he was searching for you.

He was 'nicely asking' some crooks, if they dared to kidnap you.

Ougiri have never used his ability as much as before.

And he will use it even more.

You still were missing.

You still were nowhere to be found.

________

Day 14

________

Two weeks.

They have been searching for two weeks.

For two weeks they were looking under every bush, every rock.

Trying to find just one clue. One little clue.

They gathered in the dinning room.

Sitting at the table.

Your chair looked dreadfully empty.

The table was quiet.

They can't say anything.

There were no news.

No good. No bad.

Nothing.

Oda's voice broke the silence.

"Q... Are you... Do you want to say something?"

Nikolai gazed at the teen.

They were silent. But the look on their face were empty. Q opened their mouth.

"I... Nikolai-san, two weeks ago... You were the last one, who saw [Y/N], right?"

Nikolai nodded, not understanding, where Q were going to.

Q nodded and bit their lip, hugging their doll closer. Toy's colorful clothes (your present for Q) looked out of place in this situation.

"I see... Why... Why didn't you stay with them? You were always talking about wanting to stay with Guiding Light forever. What happened with that?"

Nikolai's voice were a little bit louder, that of a whisper.

"I were practicing... For a magic show..."

That he cancelled. Because he can't waste time on anything else, beside the search.

Q's unique eyes stared directly in Nikolai's mismatched eyes.

"Were the practice necessary? Could you practice only that day?"

Nikolai stay silent. He could. He could practice in the morning. He could stay with you.

Nikolai's silence were enough to answer Q's question.

They stand up, put their doll on the table and walked towards Nikolai's chair.

Q took their own chair with them.

Q put their chair near Nikolai's chair.

Q stood up on their chair. Now they were looking at sitting Nikolai from above.

Q clenched their fists.

"If you stayed with [Y/N]… No one would be able to kidnap them..."

Q screamed.

"It was your fault!" Q's fist was small, but, the hit was painful. Nikolai covered his bruised nose.

Q were yelling, while Dazai was dragging them away. It was hard, because Q tried to get away from his hold and hit Nikolai again.

"If you stayed with [Y/N] they won't disappear! Don't you dare to say, that you cared about them! You never cared about them! You will never care about anyone! You will kill anyone, who came close to you! That was your plan, right? To get rid of [Y/N]? Did their love disgust you that much?!"

Dazai, with Chuuya's help, finally managed to drag Q to their room, locking the door.

And Nikolai was standing here. Unmoving.

"Коля... Как ты?"¹ Fyodor's voice sounded soft.

Nikolai swallowed and shook his head.

"I... I need to go..."

Before Nikolai could go away, Fyodor grabbed his shoulder.

"Коля, ты не виноват. В ситуации виноват только тот ублюдок, который похитил [Т/И]. Все мы знаем, что ты бы никогда и пальчем не тронул [Т/И]. Не вини себя."²

Nikolai didn't say anything.

Without looking at Fyodor, Nikolai returned to his room.

It wasn't true! He could never hate you! He likes you! You are his Birdy.

And you were still missing.

He loves loving you!

He didn't want to hurt you.

He missed you.

But, what if... Q were right?

What if he was the reason, why you were gone?

______

Day 21

_____

Nikolai's body was shaking. He was crying. There was no hope. There was no you. There was no clue.

Ever since Q accused him, everyone were checking on him. Everyone were worried about each other. And about you.

Nikolai tears start flowing again.

Maybe, it really was his fault that you were gone? If he stayed with you... No one could take you away...

Another cry filled the room.

"Пташка... Пташка моя... Мені так шкода... Будь ласка... Повернися... Я люблю тебе..."³

Nikolai whispered.

"Я люблю тебе..."⁴

And no one answered his call.

_________

Day 30

_____

Chew. Swallow.

Bite again.

Chew. Swallow.

Bite.

Chew.

Swallow.

Bite.

Nikolai blinked as he pulled his fingers from his mouth.

The teacup.

Nikolai took it.

Blow.

Sip.

Blow.

Sip.

Go through the motions.

Nikolai closed his eyes.

For now, that's all he needed to do.

Go through the motions.

Breakfast is over.

Put dishes into the sink.

Go to the living room.

Learn, where to go today.

Search for you.

Repeat and repeat.

_________

Earlier that day, the portal appeared in the barn.

And you finally returned home.

________

Two weeks later

________

Nikolai was sitting near your bed, holding your hand. You were shaking. You had another nightmare.

He squeezed your hand, trying to make you feel better.

"It's okay, [Y/N]. It's okay. You are home." whispered Nikolai. You swallow your tears. Nikolai carefully brushed your tears away.

"I was so scared... I missed you..." whimpered you. You wanted a hug, you wanted to be near someone.

Like he was reading your mind, Nikolai hugged you. He whispered into the tip of your head.

"Nothing will ever hurt you, Birdy. I will never leave you ever again. I promise."

You stay silent, resting your head on Nikolai's chest.

Kolya carefully pet your head.

'Ніщо тобі не зашкодить, Пташко. Я обіцяю. І я подбаю про те, щоб вони заплатили за кожну сльозу, за кожну краплю крові. Я їм покажу.'⁵ thought Nikolai Gogol, hugging you closer.

Maybe, that way, he will have the smallest chance to be forgiven. For being the reason why you were kidnapped.

________

¹Russian. "Kolya, are you alright?"

²Russian. "Kolya, it's not your fault. The bastard, who kidnapped [Y/N] are the only one to blame. All of us know, that you would never lay a finger on [Y/N]. Don't blame yourself."

³Ukrainian. "Birdy... My Birdy... I am so sorry... Please... Come back... I love you..."

⁴ Ukrainian. "I love you..."

⁵ Ukrainian. 'Nothing will hurt you, Birdy. I promise. And I will make sure, that they will pay for every tear, for every drop of blood. I will show them.'

_____

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