#can't change the past but we can build a better future

[superectojazzmage]

The final TF2 comic has got to be the epitome of making lemonade out of lemons. It's pretty much just saying "Yeah, things got messed up somewhere along the way and we didn't get to do everything we wanted to do with this, but y'know what? We still had a good time.". It's blatantly not everything that the writers and devs were building to or that fans were expecting, very clearly a truncated/modified version of their plans. But it does the absolute best that it can with what it has to tie off every loose-end and say every goodbye. And in the process it reframes the entire lore of TF2 as not just a comedy but also a reminder that the change of life is good and it's better to embrace that than to waste yourself by clinging to the bad things that happened in the past just because they're familiar. It's closure, for Valve and for their community, and a reminder that's plenty more life to live in the future, and that's what really matters. As perfect of an ending as could be achieved after so long and with so little space.

Can't wait to see what comes next from Valve, whether it's just their new game Deadlock, an ending for Half Life/Portal next, or something entirely else. If it's even half as good as this, it'll still show why Valve tends to blow so many other video game companies out of the water.

[aziraphales-library]

Thank you so much for all the work you do💗

I was wondering if you have any long human au fics with lots of angst and a happy ending? Again thank you!!

You're welcome! We have #long fic, #human au, and #angst tags where there will be plenty of overlap, so do dip into those. Here are more for you...

Lessons in the Humanities by Greenathena (M)

Aziraphale Fell teaches English at Eden Midtown Academy. His new co-worker, Anthony Crowley, is a bit of a wild card, who doesn't mind ruffling a few feathers. Over the course of the school year, their friendship seems to be growing into something more. That is until Aziraphale is offered a high-stakes job, overseeing state testing for the whole of the Massachusetts Department of Education. They're in love, your honor. Possibly. Probably. It's ineffable complicated.

What is forgiveness but the silence after a scream? by Moonstone_Lingo (M)

After being forced to return to the town he once ran away from decades ago when he hears of his mother's death, Aziraphale is confronted with a past he wants to forget, but one that is hauntingly insistent on being relived. When a chance encounter with a stranger reveals that Crowley is not far away at all, Aziraphale must consider which he cares about more: his belief in God or his love for Crowley, and not wanting to choose, he quickly discovers he cannot have both. Unsure whether it is already too late, Aziraphale learns that he has to fight for what he wants before it slips out of his grasp. or "God loves you, Crowley." "not enough to stop hurting me." "I love you, Crowley." "not enough to save me."

As Yet Untitled by badwolfgirlicouldkissyou (E)

Aziraphale Fell is a number one best-selling author, despite his lack of self confidence and desire to hide from the public eye. Whilst fighting off his anxiety disorder at the premiere of his first novel's feature film adaptation, he meets an enigmatic, mysterious photographer who seems to only have eyes for him. Can they navigate their newfound bond? Or will past trauma and current obstacles get in their way?

Adaptive Innovations for a Changing World by amelia_airheart (E)

When Anthony Crowley meets Aziraphale Fell at Aziraphale's library, little do they know that they will turn each other's worlds upside down. After a magical week spent falling in love, they face a hard reality. Will they be able to make the choices they need to make to build a real life together?

And the fire will consume us by Merlarme (M)

Crowley works as a firefighter. One day he rescues Aziraphale, a paramedic, who is trapped in a burning building. Grateful Aziraphale decides to find his rescuer and, after getting to know him a little better, realises that they have a lot in common and are both so lonely that the accident that brought them together turned out to be a true grace.

Sinking Ships by AppleSeeds (E)

The world is practically on fire and it feels like nobody's doing anything about it, but Crowley's outlook brightens considerably when a new member arrives at his local climate action committee. Crowley is immediately smitten, and is thrilled when he and Aziraphale become fast friends, although he can't help but hope they might one day become something more. When all of his wishes come true, Crowley starts to feel like life couldn't possibly get any better. He can picture exactly what his future is going to look like, until something happens that feels like a powerful bolt of lightning has struck and split Crowley's life right down the middle, with everything before that moment on one side, and everything that is to come - scorched, lifeless and devastated - on the other. With the help of a counsellor, Crowley begins the difficult journey of picking up the pieces and working through what's happened. When Aziraphale unexpectedly comes back into his life, Crowley finally has the chance to get some answers, revealing that the truth is very different from what he was led to believe. Now he just needs to figure out whether that changes anything.

- Mod D

[whirlybirbs]

I DIDNT ASK YOU TO CARE ABOUT ME 😭😭 YOU KNOW WHO

;   —   webs && whispers    |    miguel o'hara

summary: set pre-atsv. he's the hero. you're the villain. but, that's been changing, hasn't it? pairing: miguel o'hara / villain!reader (gender neutral) tags: pre-established 'situationship' aka hero v. villain, enemies to lovers, sexual tension thick enough you can cut it with a butter knife, established reader pseudonym a/n: ... the people asked, so the people got *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

EARTH-928B. NUEVA YORK. MANHATTAN. WEST & 13TH. 11:56 PM.

"You're a hard spider to find these days."

Miguel feels irritation slip up his spine long before the phantom shift of your voice meets his ears. It's a hazy sound, like a chorus of susurrations converging into one. 

In the last few months, he's grown accustomed to it. 

Miquel, however, isn't sure he'll get used to the way you slip in and out of space like the flea on the tightrope. Here nor there, always lurching between the frames in reality, always ephemerally present. And the sound — voices of past, present, and future all overlapping at once, then: silence.

In a disjointed stutter, you're suddenly close — encroaching on his personal space in a way that makes his lip curl. A flash of fangs emerges beneath his mask. 

His back is still to you.

"I'm not in the mood, Whisper."

Beneath your mask, your face twitches. He sounds exhausted — though that isn't entirely new for Nueva York's un-friendly borough-stalking Spider-man. 

"Are you ever?" you quietly chirp as you stalk up beside him; you cross your arms, "I'm inclined to think you're avoiding me."

Up here, on a penthouse roof backlit by the nightlife above and below, you watch tension ripple into his shoulders as he rolls his posture back. That black mask hasn't left the horizon. Tar-black eyes stare out over the city, only narrowing slightly at your accusation. 

"We aren't friends."

He turns to walk away.

In a rush of hushes, you appear directly before him.

"Mierda—!"

"Sorry."

"We talked about that, Whisper," Miguel leans his weight onto one leg, reaches up, and pinches his brow through his mask, "It's called personal sp—"

You roll your eyes. You straighten up and move to step back, but — instead — shift a meter backward. You talk over him.

"Personal space, right, sure, Spidey," you slip towards the edge of the building, planting a boot on the lip of the ledge. You wind your arms tighter around yourself, "You're ignoring my question."

"You never asked one," he grits; against his better judgment, he moves to your side at the ledge.

"It was implied."

"I've been busy."

"Too busy for your nemesis?" you tsk and click your tongue. 

He's looking at you now. 

"Please. 'Nemesis' is hardly the correct title."

You scoff. Your shoulders bob. "Oh? C'mon then, Spider-bite, what is?"

It's a fair question — one that Miguel wasn't sure he has the answer for. 

In the beginning, this little tango was rife with explosive violence, scalding anger, bloodied knuckles, and sworn endings. You were a terrorist, fated to exploit and destroy the people whose mistakes made you: Alchemax. He was the hero, destined to protect and serve the people of Nueva York. Good and bad. 

Constant. Like the rise of the sun and the fall of the moon. Spider-man versus Whisper. Frontpage headlines. Time and time and time again.

Then, something shifted. Miguel can't remember when it began, or why... But, the collisions of fists became a tandem of fists. A team-up brought on by — was it Mysterio, maybe? You never liked the guy. 

Lyla remembers. She remembers everything. The footage from the incident is shaky — blame the multiple CCTV views all meshed together in a hot tangle of the canon-relevant plot. 

Spider-man is down on his luck. On his knees. Mysterio: laughing. Vitals: dropping. Three ribs: broken. Mask: compromised. Lyla's footage swivels inward, the sight of Miguel's one eye. A rageful carnelian smithed hard into a pained gaze. 

Then, you. Standing: tall. Voice: rageful. Fists: lit with power and already cracking across the opalescent globe of Mysterio's helmet.

SPIDER-MAN IS MINE. 

Yours. 

When did that happen? When did you begin to see his side, when did you begin to admire the safe consistency he built in this city? When did you envy it? When did the rage fade at the thought of him? When did something more tepid, more comfortable crawl in?

You turn your face upwards; there's a when moment your masked gazes connect. For a moment, things are still. Slow. There isn't danger here, nor hatred nor anger. The tension is different. Palpable still, but it feels like swallowing roses more than blood.

He looks away first.

"Try 'Number One Annoyance'."

His voice is distant.

You hum. "Care to enlighten your 'Number One Annoyance', then? You've been gone. People have noticed."

He was afraid of that.

Miguel exhales tightly. "Get out of here, Whisper."

He can feel your scowl. Then, your physical form flickers for a moment. A wash of emotions is present — a tell. In the past, that was how he knew you were going to snap. Now, in this context, he isn't quite sure what to make of it. There's a rush of voices, smothered quickly by a grounding inhale. 

You're quiet for a long moment then. Miguel's chest is tight — it's guilt.

"I'm only asking because I care," you finally say; it's like it's been wrenched out of your chest by his own clawed fist. It's an admission as quiet as the shadowed hushes that follow your every warp through space. 

He reacts coldly. The only way he knows how to these days. "I didn't ask you to care."

The claws twist. 

Another fast crackle, transparency pulsing quickly through your spine and nerves. Here nor there. Ephemerally calm. Like the ocean before a storm. Your face twists fast to his. Mask be damned. Miguel can see anger. 

Guilt. And the dawning realization this was a mistake. 

"It's better if I do this alone," comes the follow-up. It's... gentler. Still cold. Harsh. 

You look away. "Do what?"

Your eyes stay affixed to the horizon. Spider-man doesn't move. The stirring in your chest hurts. Hurts worse when you realize he's right. After all, he's the hero and you're the villain. You both have roles to play. Parts to act. The show must go on. 

"...A part of you knows I can't tell you that."

You sigh, rolling your neck, "You're right."

"...And a part of me wants to tell you."

It's quiet. Nearly inaudible. But you hear it. And you can't help the loose grin that flashes across your face at the admission. Your scoff is more like a huff. Gloved palms slip to your hips as you step back from the ledge. 

Suddenly, the tension is different. Lighter. Like it was a handful of weeks ago before he disappeared into the woven stream of time. 

Miguel follows suit. Beneath his own mask, his expression has lightened. 

"Yea?" you ask, stepping back like a prey recognizing the hunt. 

Miguel steps forward, shrugging easily. His voice is almost playful. "Yea. But, y'know, last I checked you're wanted on a new charge of grand larceny—"

"Oops. Sticky fingers," you chitter with a waggle of your hands. He watches you slip downward and through the fabric of space. You emerge behind him in a whisper of wind. 

Miguel is quick, he catches your hand with a web and tugs. You let yourself land in his grip — his black-gloved hand wraps around your wrist. He knows you're allowing this. You could easily wash away through the air, manifest around him in any three-meter radius. 

The closeness is tight.

"While the Spider's away..." he tsks.

Your glove slips around the web and tangles it tightly in your fist. You push back and move around him. He's allowing this. His arm crosses behind his back. You absently admire the ripple of muscle there. 

Then, you unceremoniously kick the back of his left knee and he crumples. The grip on his hand is tight. Miguel grits his fangs. 

"Play nice," he warns.

"I've known you long enough to tell when you're stalling, you know," you let slip the chirp with a sly look at the black and red Spider-man. 

On cue, there's the hum of a patrol copter over your shoulder. A few blocks away, still, but it's coming. Somewhere, in the bowels of the city, sirens begin. 

[ BOLO ALERT, MOST WANTED. ALIAS: WHISPER. ]

"If you leave now, you'll beat them by a minute," he says slowly, "Sixty-five floors is quite the trek."

You loosen your grip and gently shake the web from your hand. Miguel rolls his shoulder. You slip through time, landing before him in a low squat.

Your voice is sincere. 

"Try not to be a stranger."

"No promises."

"I'd never ask for one," you call over your shoulder as you stand and move towards the far ledge. Your costume, as pitch-black as the darkest night, is light in red and blue from the arriving patrols.

Just like that, in a haze of voices and a whisper of time, you're gone. 

And Miguel is left to himself on that rooftop, again.

[expresso-bean]

The Man Out of Time [A ShadAmy and Silver Story]: Chapter 24

Pairing: Shadow the Hedgehog x Amy Rose

Description: It has been seven years of peace following the grueling war with Eggman and his army. Though it took time to rebuild what they have lost, life for the Freedom Fighters could not be better. Whether it's finding love or trying to run from their past, celebrating post-war times has been different for each of them.

All is well until a silver hedgehog comes knocking on Amy Rose's door to deliver the tragic news about an incredible force that seems to be the cause of the future's destruction.

Will anyone believe the mysterious hedgehog's cry for help? Or will he be left to fight for his future alone? Read to find out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3k

POV: Amy Rose

!! I do not own any of the art/gifs/borders used in my chapters. All credits to the rightful owners !!

Masterlist ❀ Ch.1 ❀ Ch.2 ❀ Ch.3 ❀ Ch.4 ❀ Ch.5 ❀ Ch.6 ❀ Ch.7 ❀ Ch.8 ❀ Ch.9 ❀ Ch.10 ❀ Ch.11 ❀ Ch.12 ❀ Ch.13 ❀ Ch.14 ❀ Ch.15 ❀ Ch.16 ❀ Ch.17 ❀ Ch.18 ❀ Ch.19 ❀ Ch.20 ❀ Ch.21 ❀ Ch.22 ❀ Ch.23

'He's acting strange.'

I couldn't bear to take another step away from my home. I huffed as I sat down on the doorstep. The noise of the chaos happening around me made my eyes want to swell up with tears.

'What's the point in crying now? Training hasn't even begun yet!' I wanted to look up. But I knew what I would see would only break me apart tenfold. 'I just hope I'm not too rusty after all these years. Doing odd jobs and keeping up with a physical training regime have kept me battle ready for the most part. Although, I have been neglecting it since S came around.' 

The sounds of cars racing off and Tails' muffled voice forced my eyes to pry themselves forward. As I thought, what was before me was nothing short of a disaster. 

Crying children holding their mothers hands. Said mothers looking on in distraught as they tried to quickly move around for more things to gather into boxes and cars. 

Others were on the phones looking stressed. 

Elderly folks were sitting on chairs in front of the houses that would soon be destroyed. I could see people like Knuckles, Rouge, and Shadow going in and out of house or running about in the streets checking for items. 

All of it will be destroyed. Or so does the future determine. 

"Don't worry. Rebuilding will commence as soon as everything is back to normal!" Tails voiced boomed through the streets as little floating devices scanned each individual home from different angles several times over. "Everything is okay! Panic will only prolong the process!"

'If only it was that simple. I couldn't imagine myself in their situation.' I shook my head as I looked on at the array of people. The more I stared. The more I understood that I am like them. Bound to this future. Desperate and dependent to change in the best way possible. Although it feels impossible, there comes the slow realization that there is no other choice but to follow those orders. If they say 'pack it up', you pack. They yell 'run', you run. But none of us can tell them to fight. We can't. We exist to ensure they never have to worry about having to fight a force that is beyond what they can handle. 'That feeling. It must be...' 

"Awful," I kept my voice to a whisper. "It's awful. This is all awful..." 

I stared down at the gray pavement ahead of me. I could do nothing but clenched my fists from the frustration building up inside. After all, it wasn't at all fair. To anyone. That's why we fought so far the first time around. Nothing like this was ever supposed to happen again.

Yet. Here everyone is. Preparing for it to happen again.

'That was the fate of this timeline. My neighborhood destroyed. My friends, gone. Me.' I looked down at my hands. 'Dead.' 

I made a promise to not let that happen. Therefore, it won't.

'Well, I can't make good on any of my promises by just sitting here! I hope no one noticed I was gone for too long.' 

As I got up, I stretched my arms upwards toward the sky. Instant relief spread through my muscles when I exhaled. 

'I can do this! I've done worst missions before.' I took off a rubber elastic tie off my wrist and gathered my quills into a pony tail. 'I should trim this. If the elastic breaks in the middle of a battle it'll be impossible to fight.' 

I looked back at my front door. There was nothing by silence. 

'He'll... be right outside, right?' I lingered by the door for a second before stepped down from the doorstep. 'Not that it wasn't unusual that he would just come into my home to talk to me, but this time felt... different.' 

I was surprised that no one paid any mind to me walking about. They all looked to be in their owns heads or trying to gather items to stuff them in their vehicles as best they can. My beautiful neighborhood seemed to be reduced to shambles. The once happy, friendly faces I would see in the mornings looked scared. I nearly wanted to cry and the thought of the cherry trees being burnt to crisps.

'It'll take years to get them to look this beautiful again!'

"Amy?" Cream came rushing toward me. She grabbed me by the arms and shook me a bit. "You're here! Tails said S was looking for you, is everything okay?"

I was a bit taken aback by her concerned reaction. Cream has always been one to overly worry about me, to which the feeling was mutual.

"S is looking for me? I haven't seen him," I looked around me again. S was nowhere to be seen. "In fact, I was talking to Sonic. he just stopped by to talk to me."

"Where is he?"

We both snapped our heads towards Sally, who looked like she was going to burst into tears. I hadn't realized she was standing near us loading things into a white truck as my neighbor Mr. Song, an elderly fox gentleman, watched from the front seat.

'He's leaving...?'

Mr. Song moved to the neighborhood after the war. This place was the part of the city that got hit the hardest and one of the first neighborhoods that were completely rebuilt. It was Mr. Song's idea to plant an abundance of fruit trees around for the residents to enjoy while rations were low.

Seeing them loaded up in the truck shocked me. Yet, I couldn't blame them. No one thought another war would ever come. Cowering in a bunker was not for everyone, especially a young child and an elderly man.

'I wonder where they will go? Maybe to Carter's father's house? But that's so far. He lives on the other side of the state!'

"Amy?"

"Huh? I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to zone out like that! What did you say?"

Sally looked distressed by shook off my comment. I smiled at her nervously as she loaded up two other boxes into the truck.

"What happened to Sonic? He just up at left two days ago and know I find out he came to see you! What's going on with him?"

'Two days? How come I didn't notice?'

"Y-yeah, I-I couldn't tell you, he-he just worried about me and this WHOLE situation we are in."

Sally sighed as she loaded the last few boxes into the moving vehicle. She jumped up and grabbed a hold of a white rope before pulling down on it. I flinched at how loud the door slammed down.

'I can't tell if she's angry or not,' I watched as she secured the latch and dusted off her hands. Cream looked up at me, shrugging. 'Neither can she.'

"Hey kid, do you have the lock?"

"Yeah!" The passenger door opened, revealing Mr. Song's young grandson, Carter. "Here it is! Don't worry, my granddad has the key!"

She nodded and put the lock on the door. She tugged on it before tapping on the metal door. Carter looked towards Mr. Song and nodded.

"Thank you, Miss!" As he was leaving toward the truck, he turned his head and locked eyes on me. "AMY!" Carter rushed toward me and Cream, making her move out of the way as the boy stood in front of us. "I was hoping you would show! I'm gonna miss you and the cookies you make!"

"Oh," I looked down at him. I tried to match his bright smile, but I'd be lying to myself if seeing him leave made me upset. "So I was right. You and your grandfather really are moving."

"My dad wants us to go live with him. He says it's too dangerous to stay," Carter crossed his arms dramatically and pouted. "I told him I don't want to leave. Being neighbors with a Freedom Fighter is so cool!"

"I'm sorry you have to go, But hey, my door is always open. I'll make you whatever you'd like if you ever come by to see me."

Carter's arms came undone and his mouth immediately curled back up into a smile.

"You mean it?"

"Of course! How can I turn down my number one fan?"

"Aw! Cool!"

I could hear Mr. Song knocking on the door of the truck. Carter looked back and jolted up a bit.

"Coming!" He turned and yelled. He turned back around and looked at me again. Although he was smiling, his eyes looked as pouty as ever. "I'm gonna miss you, Amy! I'll try and visit!"

"I'll miss you both too."

Carter turned and ran back to the truck and crawled into the passenger seat from the open window. I held back a laugh as he jumped back into the car from the open window on the passenger side.

I caught a glimpse of Mr. Song as he backed out of the driveway. They stopped in the middle of the street to let some of the other residents cross.

"Bye Carter, bye Mr. Song!"

I saw him nod from the visor window and waved at him, hoping he'd at least see that last gesture.

'I hope things go well for them.' I could only watch as they drove off. 'I think it's for the best they get out of a place like this.'

"Are you okay, Amy?"

"I'm fine, just a bit sad, I guess."

"He was the man who helped plant those trees, right? For the children during ration time?"

I nodded at Cream's comment. Sonic, Tails, and Cream were the only ones that stuck with me while we went around rebuilding the neighborhoods. Others like Shadow, Sally, Knuckles, and Rouge went their own separate ways. It wasn't until four years ago that we all came back together and decided that it would be a good idea to live near each other in case of an emergency.

'I never thought it would amount to anything like this.'

"I had no idea. I forgot you all helped rebuild most of Mobius," Sally shook her head as she hugged herself slightly. That three-year period we were all separated was hard on everyone. "At least, most of you did."

"Well, it isn't like you had a choice. You had to go back to the Acorn Kingdom."

"Yeah!" Cream interjected. "If you hadn't gone back, half of Mobius would still be in ruin!"

"I suppose you're right," Sally tried to laugh off. Her smile was a bit to wide, like she was forcing her mouth ajar to appear happy. But she couldn't fool me. I've been trying just as hard to appear as happy as she is right now for months. "I'm just beating myself up for not being here with you all."

"It's best to not be so hard on yourself like that. None of us could have guessed what we had in store for us after the war."

Sally didn't say anything while she stood there, hands wrapped around ther forearms rubbing them up and down slowly. It was almost as if she was trying to console herself.

'Is she okay? Why is she only bringing this kind of stuff up now?'

"Amy?"

"Hm?"

"About what we were talking about?"

"W-what was it again?" I scratched my head and sighed. "Was it about Sonic?"

"Is he okay?"

Her tone was dead serious. Her hands were no longer trying to self-sooth, but her fists were balled and nearly pinned to her side. 

'What do I even say? I can't confess this to them! What if he hears? What if someone else hears and they tell him! It will ruin EVERYTHING!'

"I-I, I don't know," I managed to whimper out without stuttering too badly. "H-he looked tired. But I had no idea was gone for so long."

"Oh," She looked down again. I could see from the corner of my eyes that Cream looked mildly uncomfortable about discussing Sonic. "It's alright. I thought if he would have told anyone he would have mentioned something to you."

"Why to me?"

At looked at Sally. She opted to avert her gaze as she rubbed up her arms again.

'What is up with her? She seems scared. Or maybe, nervous?'

I would have liked to have thought that Sally and I mended our relationship after my whole obsession. When it was time to go visit her for the first time at Acorn Palace, all I could do was apologize to her. It took a year for her to sit me down and sincerely tell me that she accepted my apology. Sometimes, I still feel there is a veil of awkwardness and resentment whenever we discuss Sonic. I can't help but feel she still holds some anger toward me.

Not that it would be entirely undeserved. I know how mean I have been in my past.

"Well, Sonic, he, um, he trusts you more than himself at times."

'He does?'

"Um..." Cream waved her hand between us. I looked down at her, confused. Sally didn't avert her eyes away from the ground, not even to look at Cream. "I-I'm going to keep helping Tails, I-I-I'll see you both later!"

"Bye...?"

I watched her walk up to where Tails was scanning over some documents. She whispered something to him, to which he nodded and looked back at us.

'I wonder what she's telling him...'

"So, you thought about the same thing, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I can't blame anyone for feeling off. This whole thing. I never thought I would ever have to fight again."

"Can't disagree with you there."

"Amy!"

"S?" As he jogged over to me, I noticed Sonic trailing behind him. "Oh, Sonic-"

"Sonic!" Sally ran toward him, practically tackling him to the ground. "You're okay! What happened?"

He smiled at her as she held her face and littered her face with kisses. S tried his best to look away without seeming rude. 

'Ha, I forgot that he is still a teenage boy in spite of all of this going on.'

"I'm sorry I had to leave, I'll explain it to you later, I promise," Sally could only nod. I noticed that the moment Sonic took her hands off her, she gave him that same blank expression she gave me not too long ago. Whatever was bothering her undoubtedly had to do with him. "Let's get all these people situated in their homes."

"Its about time you all show up," Knuckles walked toward us, pointing at me with his fist. "What took you guys so long?"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to show up late!"

"So what if we're late? This isn't her or anyone else fault." Sonic put his hand on my shoulder and lightly pushed me behind him. I nearly would have bumped into S if it weren't for him lightly directing me next to him. "What matters is that we're here now. The only way we can get this done is if we work together."

"Right."

Sonic nodded at everyone's almost, unanimous response. I could see from behind him Shadow crossing his arms.

Say what you will about him, Sonic knows how to inspire people. He speaks with a voice so powerful that you can't help but listen.

'I am lucky to have him in my life.'

Sometimes, I want to laugh at myself for how I used to chase after Sonic.

So many hopeless nights, I would stay up and wait for him to swoop me up from my bed and take me to a place only he could show me.

'Oh, and the diary! I'm glad I tossed it out when I did! I wish I could go back and burn it.'

Those are the kind of childish romances I hold close to my heart. The kind that hurts in the moment but can look back on and smile as your mind cringes at the outlandish antics you've committed to get that one person to notice you.

It wasn't all for nothing.

Chasing him made me faster.

Fighting others to prove myself to him made me stronger.

Winning that war ensured peace for my friends.

I gained more than I ever lost. I could not be more grateful for that.

'I know I sacrificed my entire life to get Sonic to notice me,' I shook my head, looking down towards the ground. 'Got beat up a bunch. I fought in a war. I embarrassed myself in front of everyone that I knew,' I couldn't help but close my eyes and cringe once again. My body warmed itself with the awful secondhand embarrassment I caused for myself. 'I'm just glad that whole era is over! If not,' I couldn't help but smile. It was the only way to prevent the blush I knew that would eventually appear on my face. 'Someone I know I can give my everything too,' As soon as I turned to look his way, I was only able to catch a glimpse of his back turned toward me. 'If he can bother to look my way, that is.'

"Amy, catch!" I didn't even look toward Tails as I instinctively reached out my arms to grab the four or so stacked boxes. My knees buckled slightly at the new weight I suddenly had in my hands. "Get this to house '12' please! Then, I need you to help clear out those blue and yellow houses!"

I sighed, and smiled at Tails nervous as I whispered, "right away."

'I need to get out of my own head for a bit.'

--

The sky was getting dark with there barely being enough light to walk home without the street lights on. We dragged our feet beneath us in silence as we reached my home.

Sonic, Knuckles, Rouge, and Cream were lying next to each other, almost in a pile.

I was holding Sally by the arm as we joined them. Sally laid her head on Sonic's leg as I sat down next to Cream.

'It feels like we've done this a thousand times over...' I lay down next to her; my eyes stared up at the sky. I watched as the barely visible clouds graze across the dark blue background. I heard Cream whisper my name, I couldn't muster a response to her. Only a single thought danced in my head: 'I would sacrifice anything for this war to end like this.'

[unsoundedcomic]

Genuine praise and applause here, you've achieved something unprecedented to me as a reader: I feel shaken and uncertain about a protagonist I once liked, but also still completely invested in their story.

Right now (I've just read 18-80 to 84) I feel you've struck a great balance of surprise (at Duane) and trust (in your story). Perhaps because no single choice of Duane's felt out-of-character, as they slowly added up? I honestly can't predict how I'll feel about him and his flaws by the end of Unsounded, but for once, I'm enjoying that unease! Because of the care you've taken in building your characters so far, I at least still have faith in *you* to reach a satisfying ending.

Oh this should be a question, hmm. Were you at all tempted to foreshadow Duane's recent/future choices more obviously (by character or plot), softening a bit of the impact for a smoother story? Because again, I'm glad you didn't – perfectly threaded needle to keep me captivated.

So glad you're having a good time!

I hope Duane's current state is pretty well telegraphed, though I know it can be hard to remember past instances when the webcomic delivery spaces everything out. He's repeatedly shown himself to be hypocritical and selective in regards to kids. The army story ended with him continuing to train babies in the killing arts and accepting a false narrative that he had never let one of them die. This led right into him turning a blind eye to the Litriya twins for the sake of helping the Aldish invaders get to the construct facility. He felt AWFUL about this - we saw it - and tried to make up for it, but even that very action was already going against what was said in the black water: God is not attainable by transaction. Duane was trying to erase that debt to Litriya. It doesn't work that way! Like Claggart said, you got to acknowledge your mistakes and keep moving.

Duane started to. He truly did, when he spoke to Lori and the Peaceguard, then moved to go defend the shrine. But then Mikaila was there in the sky and all development was cut short in tandem with his poor rotten head.

What did he see when he and Toma and Elka approached Port Morstorben's ravaged gate? Not all the dead bodies. Not a vision of Sara asking him to help defend her people. Instead Duane saw Lemuel and Leysa and Mikaila. The eels have always known exactly how to steer Duane towards his worst self, and they use his best self to do it. They use his blind love for his family, his loyalty towards his homeland, and his faith in God. These can all be fantastic attributes or they can make a monster.

So yeah, I feel like the foreshadowing is there pretty thick. What makes it still compelling, I hope, is Duane's selfishness and reluctance to change are so often counterbalanced by his earnest desire to make things better and to help the people around him as individuals, in the moment. There's not an ounce of real malice in the man, but when Duane stews, he often talks himself into making the wrong choice. When he acts with all the compulsion of a big-hearted protector, he tends towards selfless compassion.

[ask-an-epidemiologist]

So how do you change an anti-vaxxer's mind, anyway?

First, understand that sometimes, the answer is simply: you can't. Some people are very firmly entrenched in anti-vax narratives, and will become extremely aggressive in response to challenges.

Second, understand that in this case, saying nothing is better than saying the wrong thing. Becoming hostile, or expressing judgment (no matter how well-deserved) is likely to entrench them more into these conspiracies than it is to make them see reason, making them less likely to be receptive to even gentle challenges in future.

Third, understand that change isn't something that happens after a single conversation. It takes repeated discussions, and a lot of building up trust, to start making people change their minds.

So, then, how do you change an anti-vaxxer's mind?

First step: understand why anti-vaxxers feel this way. This can be summed up in one word: fear. Irrational fear, but fear nonetheless. There are a lot of reasons they may have gotten to this point. They may be deeply distrustful of physicians due to past experiences. People of color in the United States are very prone to vaccine hesitancy and refusal, not because of conservative views, but because of the racist history of the medical institution- in particular, the atrocity known as the Tuskegee experiments. Some, particularly those in the United States, are very prone to distrusting the medical-industrial complex, and extend that skepticism to vaccinations as well. Some may have encountered misinformation, such as the infamous Wakefield farce, which convinced them that children were in danger of being autistic (which is still heavily stigmatized) if they became vaccinated. There are also other reasons, but these are the most common.

And how do we deal with other fears people have? Empathy.

How to have an empathetic conversation about this issue:

First, you need to do just that: have a conversation. Ask open-ended questions, and listen to the answers no matter how much they anger or upset you. The most important and most simple: "what are your reasons for not trusting vaccines?" Other good questions are, "why do you feel this way?" "Are you interested in receiving information about vaccines from me?" "How can I help you work through these difficult feelings?" You need to then tailor your conversation according to how they respond.

You need to build trust with the person you are talking to. If you are in a position of privilege over them, particular if you are white and they are black, you cannot attempt to speak over their concerns about bias in the medical community. This also includes disabled people who no longer trust doctors to have their best interests at heart. Empathize with their concerns, don't erase them, and then segue into the facts. "This is an unfortunate reality, and should never have happened to you. May I share a counterpoint about (specific issue), with the understanding that this does not erase the systemic biases in the medical community?" It is worth noting that breakdowns in trust in the doctor-patient relationship are a key factor that leads to the development of antivax attitudes. This person already feels they can't trust their doctors or the government, and they have, in desperation, turned to a community of other afraid people to be heard. If you remember this, you will have a chance here to gain their trust and be an ambassador for vaccination.

Another way of building trust is to emphasize to them that your goals are aligned. They want what is best for them and their kids, even if they are misguided, and so do you. One rhetorical strategy (that is, incidentally, also used by lawyers in jury trials) is to ascribe positive traits to this person, and then challenge them to live up to it. "I know you love little Tommy very much, and want him to be healthy. I want him to be, too. I am sure, since you care for him deeply, you will look into this issue thoroughly."

That last point is also key. You need to start small, as counterintuitive as it might seem. Don't come right out and say for them and their children to get vaccinated; they need to make that decision by themself. Instead, say that you have information about vaccines that you would like to share with them. It is especially good if you have something saved for a particular claim they made. If, for example, they believed the Wakefield study, there are many refutations out there you can show them. If they are concerned about mercury, you can explain that the kind of mercury in vaccines isn't the "bad" mercury that we find in tuna- and even if it was, there is less mercury in the vaccines than there is in tunafish. Keep it focused, and keep it neutral; one claim at a time.

It is very likely that they will respond to you with a study of their own. Read it carefully before responding. "I noticed that the Wakefield paper has since been retracted. Here is a peer-reviewed study that reaches a different conclusion; it seems worth examining."

You need to show that you are actively listening to what they have to say, and that you appreciate them talking to you. "Thank you for trusting me to talk about this." "Thank you for showing open-mindedness." No vague-posting about anti-vaxxers, no eye-rolling, and no distractions while talking to them.

Another key for showing empathy is to make sure you acknowledge the root of each claim. You don't need to repeat it like a parrot- but for example, using the mercury example above, "it is understandable that you fear mercury! Normally, it is a dangerous substance. Thankfully, there are different kinds of mercury, and the one that can make you sick, methylmercury isn't the same as ethylmercury, which is the one found in vaccines."

Don't start right with debunking myths; always begin with an affirming statement ("that must be scary" or "I know there is a lot of information out there; you must be overwhelmed trying to sort through everything!") before pivoting to correcting misinformation.

Keeping your tone positive in nature is also very helpful. You don't have to be shooting rainbows from your mouth/keyboard, but positive statements help build trust and make people more receptive.

Remember that debunking myths is only one part of what you are seeking to do here. If the person you are talking to starts to feel like you only want to hear their thoughts so you can correct them, they will stop sharing them. No one likes to talk with someone who only wants to be right, even if they ARE right!

Unfortunately, these steps may not work. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the person won't be receptive. That's okay. Simply tell them again that you are here if they have questions, and you wish for the best for them and their children. Let them come to you if they change their mind.

And please remember, above all else: while these are important conversations, you are never obligated to accept verbal abuse. You have a right to have your boundaries respected just as much as they do. If the person you are talking to name-calls, uses bigoted language, mocks you, wishes bad things on you, etc, it is okay to walk away. Maybe they'll be ready to hear it one day, maybe not, but you don't need to set yourself on fire to keep anyone warm here.

I hope that this guide helps you if you are interested in discussing vaccine hesitancy and refusal! Please let me know if you need anything clarified.

[janebonbon]

Alright, Let's talk

I've had some time to digest everything about the election and hearing all the talk surrounding it. I was, and am devistated as to where things stand now for a Trump presidency. However... My gut tells me this is not over. Whether that means election fraud or tampering, boycotts and protests, or more legal trouble for the big orange. It's not over. Things are far too quiet, and we are in the eye before the storm. Notice how EXTREMELY quiet Trump is this time around. He hasn't been boasting and gloating and unsufferably hard to ignore. There is something going on, and I think he is very nervous.

However. That does not erase the threat of everything Trump stands for. If anything, this has shown us the threat in front of us. My family is Polish, I have grown up Polish. Why is that relavant? Talk about world war two was almost a constant growing up. Most people associate Poles with WW2 anyway, so I learned a lot. I learned a lot about facism, nazis, eugenics, and the psychology of complacancy that led to the holocaust.

Around 2016, at the fresh age of 14, my mother and I went to the Zekelman Holocaust Museum in Michigan. I urge you too look at or read about some of their exhibits here. This is where my mother and I were first able to completely face the fact of what Trump was doing. There was an exhibit showcasing the 10 stages of genocide. We are now currently at stage 7. Project 2024 has thrust us there. I worry deeply about what project 2024 has shown us. What that means for every single women, the LGBTQ+ community, our immigrant communities, our disabled communities.

Even if there is no internment camps like in the holocaust, I worry about escalations. I am terrified of history repeating. I refuse to be complacant in that, and I urge you not to be as well. I urge you to prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. Be proactive in measures for the future.

Especially if you are a woman, I am telling you to buy Plan B now. Travel state lines if you have to. Plan B has a shelf life of 4 years. If not for yourself, do it for a friend, family member, or someone you care about. Even if you are not sexually active, you never know what is going to happen or who might need it.

If you have any period tracking apps, they need to go NOW. Flood it with misinformation if you are able, change past entries before you delete it. Stick to putting that information to pen-and-paper where your data will not be taken by the government and used agaisnt you.

If you are able to, please apply for a passport or renew yours if you haven't already, the sooner the better. It can take a lot of time for them to get processed, so do this first. If you are financially unable to pay for a passport, you may be eligable to apply with a fee waiver. In case you feel unsafe and just want to leave the country for whatever reason may happen, I feel it is extremely important to have.

Download Signal. It has end-to-end encryption that will keep you and those same people you care about safe. I also suggest turning off notification previews even on apps like Signal, as I am told that they can be un-encrypted. If you value your privacy for conversations with your trusted people, you need to do it on something that is end-to-end encrypted.

If you are able and feel safe to, build a community network. Anyone you believe can be trusted, talk to them now about your fears and come up with a plan for worst-case scenerios. Reach out to others that have the same fears as you. Talk to your trusted friends and family members. You are not powerless. You have strength in numbers. If not to help you feel safety, but to give you hope and laughter in hard times. It does not and will not mean that the world is not dire, but you need to still stay sane.

Save important doccuments now. Not on pinterest or in a TikTok bookmark. Download. That. Shit. Don't have the computer space? Get a hard drive. A USB. Fuck it, a CD. Can't download important information? Write it down on physical paper. You have options. Even if it doesn't get taken offline, archiving and saving important things is extremely important anyway. Anything important to you, save. I am worried about books and important information being lost. Get physical copies if you are able. Find ways to download them in PDF or similar formats. Music? Save it. Maybe I'm being too wary, but you will have no idea what is going to go until they start doing it.

[mydogatemymotivation]

Kallus/Zeb/Jovan (another long post. sorry. reyna writes a post shorter than 500 words challenge level: impossible)

Ok, so I don't know if there are many witchy people in this side of the fandom, but I thought it'd be fun to share this. I'm finally sitting down to learn tarot, I've always wanted to learn tarot but I never got around to it and now I'm using it as an escape from ✨️the horrors✨️. One of the ways to learn tarot and to learn what the cards mean is to practice simple pulls on fictional characters and I thought I'd try to get a little look at Kallus and Zeb and Jovan just to see what was going on with all of them and it was neat so, I'll share. For fun.

So I did a simple past-present-future pull for each character (3 cards) then a general relationship pull (6 cards) for Kallus/Zeb and Kallus/Jovan to see what was going on.

So for Jovan, Present was at the time of his arrest and past and future are on the other sides of that event.

Jovan

Past: The Chariot (reversed)

Present: Knight of Wands (upright)

Future: 10 of Pentacles (reversed)

So, he starts out with no direction. The Chariot reversed is someone who's lost, and confused, this energy is a shaky foundation, or rather, no foundation at all - a very bad place for someone to start in his life. If he did used to have direction, he's lost it. The Knight of Wands is a card that appears to be heroic, but he doesn't have a lot of control over himself. He can pull off heroic feats, but he's reckless and impatient and he leaves a mess for others to clean up. He charges ahead despite obstacles, which sounds heroic, but he does it because he's unwilling to listen to others and change direction. His life from his arrest on doesn't seem great. It's the 10 of Pentacles reversed. Pentacles represent the earth and all things material or financial. I don't know if/when he'll get out of prison but when he does, all his success will be fleeting. He can't see the forest for the trees and without a solid foundation, there's nothing for him to build something for himself. There's no stability and no way for him to hold onto what little successes he manages to scrape together. 10 of pentacles can also represent family and some kind of falling out within that family, likely over money or inheritance, some kind of dishonor on the family - we don't know anything about Jovan's life outside of Kallus though, so that's just speculation.

For Kallus and Zeb, Present was that gap between season 3 and 4.

Kallus

Past: The Tower (reversed)

Present: Judgement (reversed)

Future: Wheel of Fortune (upright)

The Tower is one of the most intense (read: worst) cards you can pull from the deck, honestly. The Tower represents destruction and cataclysmic failure but reversed, it means resisting change and delaying the inevitable. It also means circumventing further destruction. Alexsandr, in his past, is stubbornly refusing to change, likely out of fear, but change is coming for him anyway. The change that's coming is a way to avert incoming disaster. The Tower reversed is the existential crisis card. Calling into question the belief systems and institutions you once trusted. It's destruction that clears the way for new growth. Judgement reversed is guilt and self-doubt. Others are judging him harshly, there's malicious gossip and scorn, he's judging himself harshly as well, but he has to find a way to ignore it and better himself internally. He may look back on his past and hate what he sees and because of that he's having trouble seeing the lessons that he needs to learn. Future looks a lot better than his past. The Wheel of Fortune can be considered good luck. It mainly represents the cycles of life and that the universe is working in your favor. What goes up, goes back down, what has fallen, can rise again, and so on. It's cyclical. The rest of his cards, in my mind represent his military career, so if I look at the wheel of fortune, the Empire is defeated, yay!, but the First Order will eventually take its place. He's had to struggle, but he's made decisions to better himself and the universe will reward him in his life, but the wheel will continue to turn as well.

Zeb

Past: The Hierophant (reversed)

Present: Page of Swords (upright)

Future: The World (reversed)

The Hierophant is a figure closely associated with traditional values and practices, but reversed, he's someone who forges his own path and relies on inner strength and lives outside of rigid social structure. He seeks out opportunity to rebel. He questions society and isn't afraid to face down traditional institutions. There may, however, be lingering feelings of guilt for leaving behind his traditional practices. In the court cards, the Page is often called the student, the learner, or the child of the court. In the present, he's restless. Always ready to go, always good for a debate, and eager - if a little overenthusiastic at times. His future card is the World reversed. The world is a positive card, but reversed it means that something personal from your past is nagging at you. Life may otherwise be good, but this one thing just won't leave you alone. I read this as either Lasan, which I doubt will ever let him go, or Ezra. He wants the answers or closure on this one thing but he either isn't doing the work to close it out, or it's something he can't finish.

For the relationship pull I did six cards each.

The energy someone is consciously taking into the relationship

The subconscious energy someone is taking into the relationship

The energy the other person is taking into the relationship

The subconscious energy the other person is taking into the relationship

The energy both members have when they're together

The outcome of the relationship

Kallus/Jovan

The energy Alexsandr took into the relationship: 3 of Cups (upright)

The subconscious energy Alexsandr brings into the relationship: Knight of Wands (reversed)

The energy Jovan took into the relationship: Page of Cups (reversed)

The subconscious energy Jovan brings into the relationship: 5 of Wands (upright)

Their energy together: Page of Swords (reversed)

Outcome of the relationship: 2 of Cups (reversed)

The 3 of Cups is happiness and joy and community. Alexsandr was happy entering into the relationship, he had a genuine connection with Jovan and felt secure with him. Whether you see it as a romantic or a platonic relationship (find me someone who thinks they didn't date) Alexsandr was happy in it. I talked about the Knight of Wands above, with Jovan, but here it's reversed. While upright, the Knight of Wands seems heroic, if unaware, but reversed its completely out of control. He's rash, he's impulsive, he's so fixated on his goals and what he wants that he can't see what he's burning down around him to get there. He has to learn to control himself if he wants to keep what he has, but he can't. He's too easily carried away. Jovan enters the relationship too insecure. Even if he hides it, he's deeply emotional, which is a blessing and a curse, but he's emotionally immature at the same time. He takes obstacles and rejection too personally. This is also something he has to learn to avoid. The underlying energy he brings with him is the 5 of Wands. Working together might bring success, but he's unable. Alexsandr is lashing out energetically, Jovan is taking it personally and the 5 of wands is all about competition, so when neither of them address the underlying issues, and Jovan is too combative, they end up fighting.

Their energy together is the page of swords. Here is a card where the sword acts like a sword. They're lashing out at each other. Page of Swords is all deception and manipulation. They're both sharp and aimed at each other. Their lack of maturity makes them unable to see the pain they're inflicting on one another and they can't reconcile because all their negative attributes are coming to the surface. They bring out the worst in each other. The outcome is the 2 of Cups reversed. They could have had balance. They could have been good for each other. They could have helped each other. Instead, their energies are repelling each other. They're out of balance, there's too much tension, and communication has broken down completely. They could've had a future, but instead they're breaking apart.

Kallus/Zeb

The energy Alexsandr took into the relationship: Hanged Man (reversed)

The subconscious energy Alexsandr brings into the relationship: 4 of Pentacles (upright)

The energy Zeb took into the relationship: 6 of Wands (reversed)

The subconscious energy Zeb brings into the relationship: 4 of Swords (reversed)

Their energy together: Ace of Swords (upright)

Outcome of the relationship: Temperance (upright)

When I did this pull, I did it over the relationship in general, I didn't specify their romantic relationship, so it starts when they first met.

So, Hanged Man reversed. Alexsandr is stuck, or stalling. He's put a lot of work into something and none of it is paying off the way he thought that it would and he's getting impatient and irritated. He's jumping from bad situation to bad situation and he's refusing to stop and listen. Upright, its sacrificing who you are to become who you need to be - reversed, it's an inability to surrender his ego, and being stuck as a result. Subconsciously, he's clinging too hard to a sense of security - even if he's no longer secure. He's isolated and controlling with severe past issues he's not doing anything to fix. As for Zeb, he enters the relationship disadvantaged. He's lost battles/is losing battles, literally, since the first time they met face to face Zeb quite literally lost. He's lacking in confidence either because he's losing or that lack of confidence is causing his repeated losses. He feels like he's being hunted. Subconsciously, he's starting to rejoin the world. He's starting to step out of a period of loneliness and starting to heal. I know this isn't a timeline pull, but I feel like this card (4 of swords) is connected directly to finding Lira San. Mental strength, awakening, and healing after being alone for so long. And this would tie into the relationship, of course, because Alexsandr was a key member of that Lasat prophecy.

Their energy together is the Ace of Swords. So swords represent anything intangible, they're connected to air. So thought, intellect, communication, etc., anything having to do with the mind. Aces represent beginnings. So the Ace of Swords, when it's the two of them combined, leads to a breakthrough. They bring each other mental clarity and help each other make the right decisions. The Ace of Swords is a realization of the truth and a new beginning. The outcome of the relationship is Temperance upright. Temperance represents balance, peace, patience, and moderation. In relationships temperance is one of the best cards you can get: it signifies soulmates. They balance each other, they're in perfect harmony, walk in step with each other. Temperance is contentment and satisfaction with who you are and what values you hold. They balance each other, but are satisfied to hold each other balanced as well.

Now, like I said, I'm new at reading Tarot, and I'm still heavily reliant of guides and other sources and stuff, so this may not be perfect, but, I don't think it's too bad. So be nice. But I thought all this stuff was interesting and I thought people might be interested in it. So enjoy.

kalluzeb soulmates, canon.

also if you read this far I made banana muffins you can have one if you want.

[jazeswhbhaven]

With the whole Leviathan thing. I think is just his archetype is really popular with Japan.

Seeing another game that has a similar to what Leviathan is, and seeing the popularity of that characters type. It seems like, hard wall that has been build up and it takes time to get their walls to broke.

Plus, there's this unknown factor where you think that they are being an Asshole, but they actually have a reason behind their action.

One example I know is with the Character from Ikemen Prince, Chevalier is describe as (this is from the wiki)

True to his title, Chevalier is as ruthless and merciless as a cruel beast and is quick to cut down his enemies no matter who they are. He is indifferent to to almost everyone and doesn't spend much time interacting with people, and usually prefers to be alone. However, in his route after meeting the MC he somehow changes and began to get use to feeling certain emotions such as love, which he views as something unnecessary in the past.

Reading his route, you would imagine that people would not like him, however

2nd voting

Most of the voting, Chevalier always take 1st place.

Often times it just culture differences and people/majority have a preferences. We really can't do anything about it.

For me, often I like least popular characters or the most popular character cause I'm drawn to what I like, and with Chevalier and Leviathan they scratched a certain type I love.

And with MC, its a porn game. MC will be written as a blank slate with the motivation of being horny cause no reasonable person would act like this if you were surrounded with horny and feral devils that speak their mind with no filter or no restrained of their urges.

Like, if we put real life logic with some of the behavior, some of them will be questionable. But this is fictional game with their own logic. The game will do some kinky stuff that people like in their fiction.

Anyway, I wanted to share my 2 cent on Leviathan. I've have my problem with his character. And that fine, if he was just all nice with MC after the contract, that would have been too ooc for him.

Honestly, I like how his dynamic with MC in the main story now (ie. Chapter 6)

I'm glad you put this into words/visuals, because a lot of things I tend to say are usually said better by others. I recognize the character you mentioned because I did play a little bit of Ikemen Prince myself! When it comes to types, I can for sure agree that for myself, anyone with his or Levi's type is not my first pick. I also agree this could very well be cultural differences that come into play as well.

Though I do understand the why for Levi. Childhood robbed from him, experiments, other screwy things. I'd have walls too. In the comics though I see the other side of him that isn't so combative and that's why it's that love/hate thing I've got going on for him as a whole.

I'm unsure if anything I said may indicate that I'm taking his personality to heart, I'd like to clarify that I do not take it deeply that he's this way, it's more of empty rants lol he's nothing more than pixels with a smart mouth.

The way they have MC/Levi's dynamic for Chapter 6 has me satisfied too, I will not be bothered if they keep that up for the future chapters we get.

[averycutesalamander]

hi<3 i'm in love with your writing! can i ask how you think we got into a relationship with Boothill? did he ask us out or did we? how did we even meet?

hihihi!! thank you 💝 also it's funny you ask because i actually have a moderately complete first meeting draft (which i guarantee will NOT go the way you think it will), and it's decently high on my priority list. (say thank you to the person in my DDBB comments for that hahaha)

essentially, the plot is that you actually meet through a job. he needs to infiltrate an extremely high security IPC base (ideally without tipping anyone off until it's too late), and it turns out that there's a tunnel system that runs right underneath the compound; trouble is that it isn't so simple to navigate. you're his golden ticket, because you can lead him straight there, no problem. or... it should be no problem, but little does he realize that this job won't be so simple after all.

shenanigans ensue. the two of you stay in contact for spoiler reasons, and also grow uniquely close (also for spoiler reasons) in a way that very rapidly breaks down the emotional barriers both of you keep up. you also just click super well, and he finds that he quite enjoys your company! things stay casual for quite some time. he visits your planet when he gets the chance, for business or for pleasure, and he takes no small amount of delight in your friendship. with time, the two of you develop a flirty kind of dynamic that reaaaaally blends the lines between platonic and romantic. it only takes a particularly pointed joke from you about giving him head as a reward for something comically benign for him to think "ah, fuck. that sounds a little too appealing doesn't it."

to be perfectly honest, i think it'd take a lot for him to ask you out first - not because he doesn't want to, but because he feels like he can't give you what you deserve. for the foreseeable future, his time would always be divided between you and his revenge, and he's extremely aware that you deserve better than to be forced to fight for his attention. you deserve someone that you can wake up beside every day, that you can eat dinner with, that you can go out in public with without fear. how can a man that doesn't see himself as alive possibly match you, someone that's so profoundly full of life? so he sits and simmers in his feelings, which grow increasingly complicated.

as for the reader in Steel Hands, Soft Heart... well, you're kind of a mess LOL. you're generally anxious and oblivious and uncertain, but you also fear complicating your relationship with boothill. you value his friendship very highly, and in your mind, it would be preferable to choke down your rapidly developing feelings rather than risk ruining your relationship. but there are a suspicious amount of half-jokes about dating him or kissing him or doing any other number of definitively non-platonic things.

ultimately, boothill is the one to break the tension first. he kinda speedruns through every stage of grief when he realizes that you're waaaaaay too flighty and nervous to be brave enough to seriously ask him out, and the building anticipation is absolutely killing him. once he breaks the ice (with the qualifier that things don't actually NEED to change between you, whether or not you return his feelings), things are actually pretty smooth sailing.

your relationship is one that is, above all, defined by patience. i can't imagine him being with anyone that isn't understanding about his responsibilities and his mission, even if he feels really bad about it. otherwise, it would be the root of a ton of underlying tension, and i think it'd boil over eventually. if you pulled an ultimatum on him - told him to choose between you or his vengeance - his choice would change depending on how close you were, but the end result would be the same: he would never be able to let go of his past. it would Haunt Him. if he stayed with you, he'd spend just as much time thinking about it as he would've spent actually doing something about it. it would drive him to leave you, sooner or later, but to say that he'd feel guilty about it is an understatement.

sooooo it's a good thing that the thought is basically inconceivable to the SHSH reader. like, the idea is kind of revolting. (in my characterization, anyway lol.) once the two of you settle into a rhythm, you fit really well together. he covers your weaknesses and learns to work with all of your quirks, and vice versa. world's most casual power couple 👏

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

The one goal we should all have....

Part 1

This particular goal is not glamorous or flashy like the ones we proudly showcase to our friends every first Monday of the month. Surprisingly, it is rarely a topic of conversation. I refer to it as "getting rid of the G-R-S emotions." By minimizing these emotions, one can enhance their intelligence, courage, and overall satisfaction.

G-R-S stands for Guilt, Regret, and Shame.

Guilt: I made a decision to work towards having guilt-free days, where I don't end the day with a heavy heart regretting things I did or didn't do. Lately, I developed an excessive habit of eating Oreos. I carried them with me everywhere and would consume them when I was bored, tired, or stressed. However, each night I would experience a painful feeling, a sense of wrongdoing. I knew that the amount of cookies I was consuming was unreasonable, and I desperately needed to stop. I questioned how I had reached this point. It all started when I received a family pack-sized box of Oreos, which I kept in my room. It became a trigger for me to munch on them mindlessly. Recognizing that I couldn't rely solely on my willpower, I realized the only way to break this habit was to remove the Oreos entirely. So, I gave them to someone else. Since then, I can proudly say that my appetite has been under control. I applied the same approach to social media and procrastination on important tasks. I no longer go to bed thinking, "I can't believe I wasted six hours scrolling." These days, my aim is to have guilt-free days. Though not perfect, this method has been an effective to ensure I sleep with contentment.

“Guilt is rooted inactions of the past, perpetuated in the lack of action in present, and delivered in the future as pain and suffering.”  - David Roppo

David Roppo said it best, the lack of action or inaction during the day was a pain I had to come in terms with at night. You may experience this in other areas of your life and on different scales.

You can minimize guilt by:

Journaling: On days when you minimized guilt, how did it make you feel?

Set micro goals: Instead of trying to run for 30 minutes. Set a goal to run for 5 minutes. This will ensure you achieve you goal, minimize guilt, and build self-trust.

Get rid of distractions: We are products of our environment. We really cannot control ourselves as easy as we might think. So adjust environment to reinforce the goals you want to accomplish. Get rid of the "Oreos" weighing you down

Remember your why: Think in future terms. In a week, a month a year, or 5 years what will you feel guilty of not doing? What would you wish you did more of? Start today

Please remember that change takes time and it will often get worse before it gets better. My advice to you is to slowly try to eliminating actions or inactions that may cause you to feel guilty and do things that you promised you will do.

[sunnetrolls]

Indefinite semi-hiatus

Hi guys! Long time, no... anything from me ever, huh?

Please read as much of this post as you're able. I know it's long, but I bring up some important things towards the end.

I've been thinking lately about the balance I try and strike between my IRL workload and how I spend my free time and I've come to the conclusion that it's unrealistic for me to pretend like this blog is fully active in the way many of my friends' blogs are. Stemming from that, it's just not realistic for me to expect my once-a-month art posts and occasional whims to play with my OCs to get the same reception as others who actually contribute as much as they ask for to the community setting.

I want to make it official and clear that I'm probably not going to be reaching out to others to make new plots or doing large developments within existing plots until I have more time, motivation, and confidence to dedicate to my creative spaces. This doesn't mean I want to break off my existing plots, but if anyone else wants to do that because I've officially called whatever limbo state I'm in a hiatus, I fully understand and all I ask is that you reach out and let me know.

This partially stems from my real life obligations leaving me too tired to properly engage with the rest of the community and a long-building sense of alienation as a result of that lack of engagement. To put it simply, I feel that my contributions are less wanted because they come with the expectation that I won't be available to talk for much of the day and won't have energy to write or draw when I am available. Which I understand--it's not fun to plot with someone who can't match your energy.

On top of that, there is the ever-present but mostly un-addressed aspect of poor communication. Over the past few years, I have been working to improve myself with respect to how I engage with others to move away from people-pleasing so I can cultivate more self-respect and valuation, especially regarding the things that I make and share with others. However, this relies on the assumption that when I overstep a boundary or make someone uncomfortable, whether that's through being too assertive or getting caught up in excitement and missing important social cues, the person upset by my behavior will inform me that what I did was upsetting so that I can better mind that boundary in the future.

I've since realized that I cannot rely on this to happen, leading me to decide that this may just not be a good space for me at this period in my life.

If anyone reading this has felt like they've been talked over by me, had plots railroaded in the direction I want without regard for your wants, or generally been put off by how I engage with shared storytelling, all I can ask is that you please tell me. I promise that I do not set out to hurt people, and if you are hurt by my actions, it was not done with malice in my heart and I want to behave differently to not hurt you, but if there is no indication that my actions are hurtful then I don't understand how I'm meant to reflect and correct my behavior.

Everyone is always welcome to tell me they don't want plots to happen a certain way, or that they disagree with how I think things should happen. Encouraged, even, because I think that's how collaborative storytelling should work, and it's been deeply unsettling to learn that others may not be comfortable engaging with me like this.

I hope this announcement doesn't disappoint anyone. Please please please reach out to me if you want to change or break plots or talk about how I've hurt you in the past so we all can move forward with less discomfort and animosity.

Thank you all for having fun with me for so long. I hope I'll be able to come back to this space with a better mindset soon.

[astarlightmonbebe]

it's easy to read the situation between li tongguang, ruyi, and yuanzhou as a love triangle on a superficial level, but looking even one step further, it's clear that there's no triangle about it. li tongguang is obsessed with ren xin; ning yuanzhou is devoted to ren ruyi. ltg's obsession is fervent and all consuming, but it's not devotion. like ruyi herself notes, his feelings to her are on the basis of her as a mother figure in his life, as a replacement for what he never received from his mother. is there an element of romantic/sexual love/desire to it? maybe. more likely he's deluded himself into thinking that, because the truth is, it's doubtful that ltg even understands what love is (platonic, filial, familial, romantic, all of the above, etc), because he has no basis for understanding. ruyi's teachings and actions towards him are the closest thing he has to hold up as an example. what he wants is ren xin, is a replica of the master he had. he doesn't want ruyi, because he doesn't actually care about ruyi. therefore, he doesn't care if she's sad, angry, mad; he just can't bear her 'abandoning' him. we saw this way back when she first meet and left him, both at thirteen and seventeen. although he distrusts her first, she saves his life and cares for him in the way no one else has, hence her first being raised on a platform in his mind. when she leaves for good, ending their master-disciple relationship/training, even though it's for official business and she's not abandoning him, in his mind that's exactly what it is. so now that she's in his life again, he won't let her leave again. he was powerless before, a child with no proper name, but now he's a recognized member of the imperial family, a man who can meet her as 'equals' (even when that's far from the truth). as a child, he could only cling to her legs and beg her, but now he has the power to keep her by his side. it's telling that when he finally gets confirmation of her identity, it's not ning yuanzhou he seeks to harm (even though he detests him and their relationship), but yang ying. yang ying is ruyi's new disciple, and as ltg doesn't know she's a woman, he only sees her as his direct replacement.

ning yuanzhou, on the other hand, is devoted to ruyi. he wants to build a new life and future with her, instead of slotting her into a spot in the life he already has. he's someone who accompanies her on walks and makes her midnight snacks, who holds her when she needs to be held and lets her go when she needs to do things on her own. when she speaks her mind, he listens, even when it makes him discontent/it's not what he wanted/wants to hear. he sees her unabashedly as his equal, and though he acknowledges her skills and abilities, or points out her naivety, he never does it to belittle her; to him, she is his peer, deserving of the highest honor and respect. he trusts her to have his back, and she has come to trust him to have her. he did what she might have thought no man would ever do: he proved himself reliable, so she came to rely on him. yuanzhou gives her freedom and autonomy as both ren ruyi and ren xin. of course they run into problems, but they both learn and grow from them, as individuals and as a couple. yuanzhou's belief in her is unwavering, but adaptable, whereas ltg's is unwavering, but frozen in time, disallowing for any new information to be presented. yuanzhou works with ruyi to accept the changes thrown her way; he seeks the core behind her actions in order to better understand her. li tongguang cannot accept the changes in ruyi's character, because they run contrary to the master he has on a pedestal in his mind.

what li tongguang wants is to return to the past, but yuanzhou offers ruyi the promise of a future, even one that might never come to fruition. there's no triangle about it.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello mbti-notes. Happy holiday and new year. Hope this year is a better year. INTP here. My question is about being stuck in Si loop. I can't seem to be able to get out of it. And it's been a (long) while.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to become an adult, I wanted to get strong, successful, independent, more capable, but now I resent it. There are so many unexpected and unwanted changes and I just can't get used to them. When I look at my timeline, and some other people's timelines, I think to myself that despite all the progresses in science and tech, and all the claims that life has become easier and more convenient, life quality is getting worse.

People around me are getting older, weaker, less beautiful, less capable, needier, more bitter. They age, lose their youth privilege, lose their health, motivation, opportunities, and they keep having more regrets and bad memories, more setbacks, more deaths, more divorces, more lost opportunities than before. Interpersonal and family relationships are getting more awkward and more complicated, people are getting more bitter, colder and more distant, less forgiving, less open, less supportive, more judgemental.

Maybe it's what adulthood has always been for everyone. Maybe it's because of tech and social media. While tech is not all bad and has pros and cons, I can't ignore the cons. Most people around me have become adapted or even somewhat addicted to tech, social media or mobile gaming and seem to enjoy them. They spend more time thinking about their online image or other people's online lives, than building actual memories or doing actual stuffs for the sakes of it. Maybe I'm wrong, but things are getting more complicated. Al and Social media are getting integrated in every aspect of our lives. We have less privacy.

I had tough childhood and teenage years, but all of this makes me think that things were simpler and somewhat better when I was a teenager. My loved ones were younger, healthier, more capable, more hopeful, more positive and forgiving, with better interpersonal and social lives, more friends, more activities, more possibilities and less physical or behavioral issues and less social media influences.

And society seemed more simple, easier, kinder, less complex, more forgiving, less sensitive, more supportive and inclusive.

Plus, I myself was mentally stronger, a bit more self-confident, more hopeful, cheerful, curious, more motivated and less sensitive.

I could never predict these things back then as a teenager. But as I see these patterns over time, I think life, or at least my life is getting worse and worse and more complicated with time. To the point that I have lost my interest in life, live in the state of cynicism, numbness and limbo, and often engage in Si, nostalgia and regressing back to my teenage years in order to seek guidance or calmness.

[(Please delete the following paragraph if it gets your blog in trouble) :

I'm still curious about the universe, cultures and some other subjects. But overall, I have lost my interest in life and living. To the point that I chronically wish there could be a quit button (even when I sleep). I have tried most things, even antidepressants, but they don't seem to make a difference. It makes me think it is not major depression, but realism, or a type of depression related to life situation and unhealthy Si loop. I can see that some aspects of my life are genuinely better now, but that doesn't seem to be enough to improve my mental state.

I keep these thought patterns internal and don't share it with other people, in order to not make them concerned or more depressed, but I sometimes wonder why they rarely think or care about these obvious issues and how they haven't lost interest in living.]

I seem to be stuck in a Si loop. I have lost care for present, yearning and optimism for future, and keep regressing back to past, in order to experience calmness and simplicity.

I have tried to focus on my Ne, my interests and curiousities, in order to bring my past self back, but even when I have the mental and physical energy for that, it only seems to work temporarily and these negative thoughts keep getting triggered and coming back.

How do I stop myself and force myself out of Si loop when I'm somewhat addicted to it?

---------------------

There are two aspects to this problem that you seem to be overlooking:

(1) The key concept comes in the last sentence you wrote, about being "addicted". People opt to stay in tertiary loop or maintain an addiction because they get some kind of "benefit" from it that they aren't willing to relinquish. Just as a drug addict is aware of the health risks but isn't willing to relinquish the highs, as long as you keep believing that the "benefit" is worth the suffering, then change isn't going to happen, is it?

What "benefits" do people get from tertiary loop? Generally speaking, many possible things, including but not limited to:

safety from perceived threats

feelings of comfort or relief (from negative feelings/emotions)

escape from problems and demands for change

"evidence" to confirm underlying biases and prejudices

reinforcement of their negative attitude

protection for distorted, illusory, or grandiose beliefs

a sense of power or control (to cover up low self-esteem)

a sense of dominance or superiority (to cover up low self-worth)

rationalizations for unethical or destructive behavior

ways to excuse or justify repeated mistakes and failures

In short, tertiary loop is an ego defense mechanism. Ego defense mechanisms allow people to avoid facing up to deep psychological problems, usually through some form of distraction, deflection, deferral, or denial.

(2) The second aspect of the problem follows from the first. When people use defense mechanisms to avoid confronting psychological problems, it makes them unable to see just how wrong their thinking is, which allows them to reside in a mental space where they never have to admit they're wrong. This is soothing to the ego. It feels good to always be right, doesn't it? If you really want to exit tertiary loop, the first step is to recognize that there's something very wrong with your thinking.

Notice how your question is about psychology yet you go off on many tangents about society, a mythological past, social media, tech, AI, etc etc? While it's true that those things do have an influence over people, at the end of the day, aren't YOU the one who makes the final decisions about your own life?

It seems you want to be able to claim that some "thing" - something that is not you - is "causing" you to be unhappy. But isn't the truth of the matter more like you are unhappy because you don't care enough about yourself and your life to improve it? And even in the rare event that you feel motivated to improve your life, is it not true that your own lack of imagination continually holds you back?

When you look into the world and judge the people around you and how they live their lives, what you're really doing is looking for inspiration about how you should live yours? And when you don't get inspired, you denounce the world as empty or meaningless? You talk about how the world was "better before", when you were younger, but isn't that because you were new and had a lot to learn, so the world was full of wonder and, therefore, felt wonderful to you? What if you were only born five years ago?

What this shows you is that the problem lies mainly in your own perception - not the world out there. You've essentially become jaded because your view of the world was far too naive and simplistic to begin with. Every time "reality" turned out to be different than what you expected, you fixated on the disappointments and lost more and more of your hopeful attitude. Instead of rising to the occasion to understand complexity and adapt to reality, you rejected reality. And now you're stuck on an island of your own making.

Yes, factually, one cannot deny that there are lots of problems in this world, and they do sometimes constrain us. However, the difference between healthy vs unhealthy NPs is that healthy NPs see problems as opportunities. In other words, it is precisely because we are constantly being challenged by problems that human beings have many chances to exercise ingenuity and learn, improve, grow, mature, and evolve over time. From this perspective, problems ought to be accepted and treated as necessary for living a full life.

You believe "reality" or "society" are bad things that beat people down. You're looking for a scapegoat, so you point your finger and blame whatever for your unhappiness. But the problem largely lies within you and your denial of reality. When human beings get offended by problems and recoil from them, they trap themselves in a mental corner, and problems remain unresolved. As a result, they stop learning, improving, growing, maturing, and evolving - they stop living. From this perspective, wishing for a problem-free life is like wishing for spiritual death.

If you want to call yourself a rational person, you must face up to the facts of life. The facts of life include pain and suffering. And pain and suffering serve a purpose to teach you lessons and help you become the person you're meant to be. If you truly want to change your life, then you have to face up to and take responsibility for the pain and suffering you feel, rather than deflect and blame. Listen to pain carefully because it will tell you exactly what needs to change. And it is your job to make the necessary changes for your own well-being.

Your question is about psychology, yet you talk all around the most important aspects of psychological well-being rather than confronting them directly: feelings and emotions. If you were to read what you wrote as an objective third party, you might be able to see just how alienated and lonely the author really is.

Alienation and loneliness are painful emotions, aren't they? At least, they should be. Do you really allow yourself to feel them, or do you instantly deflect? In order to solve a problem, you first have to be aware of it. These emotions are important because they make you aware of a serious problem of not having a place in the world, of not mattering, of not belonging anywhere.

Every person is a unique individual, so we all have a unique path to take for carving out a space in society. It used to be that your place was forced upon you through family or society. People nowadays have more freedom to choose, so in that way, we are better than the past. Instead of appreciating the freedom and making full use of it, you expect what, for everything in life to just magically fall into place for you? Freedom comes with the responsibility to wield it wisely.

If you want to feel like you matter, that the world matters, that life matters, then you have to DO things that matter in the world. Mattering is not an abstract concept. It is found in the concrete ways through which you relate to the world. But it sounds like you don't do much relating to the world other than spectating and judging it from a distance? Your actions won't amount to much as long as your vision doesn't stretch far enough beyond your own ego.

Things seem different nowadays because they are. Nowadays, people's knowledge of the world is too often secondhand. Excessive consumption of trash media really distorts your perspective and confines your imagination. You are right to indict it, but what are you going to do about it? Couldn't you, at any point, choose differently rather than behave helplessly? Couldn't you put down the devices and go spend more time living a real life in the flesh-and-blood world?

If you choose not to, despite knowing that you should, then it is a problem of underdeveloped Ne+Fe. Don't you find it odd that there are millions of people in this world doing fascinating things that really matter, but you seem to fixate only on the people doing small things you don't like? Doesn't this fixation conveniently confirm your faulty belief that there's nothing good out there for you?

Ultimately, whether or not other people are finding meaning in their activities is their business and irrelevant to your journey, so rambling about it is a pointless distraction. Nobody is forcing you to copy anyone. Your job is to explore and discover a path that suits your unique needs.

Would you rather waste time basking in your critical judgments of the world's problems, or would you rather spend that time actually being out in the world finding opportunities to put yourself to good use in addressing those problems? In other words, do you choose the "benefits" of loop and grip, or do you choose to do the difficult work of forging a real connection to the world? You claim to have done some Ne work, but did it connect you to the world in any substantial way? If not, you've not been on the right track.

[ungrateful-cyborg-moved]

Social media comparison

Alright. I've tried different new/alternative platforms lately in hope to find something I really liked, and there are very promising ones. I didn't try everything, of course, but this is a kind of overview of my journey so far? Or just my thoughts on the matter.

I've tried Pillowfort, Bluesky, Mastodon (didn't last long enough to have much of an opinion, it simply didn't click), Dreamwidth and Cohost (as of today, can't post there yet).

My comparison under the cut:

► I appreciate that they're algorithm free, whether it's because they truly believe in an Internet rid of the most invasive of them or because it's too expensive to implement on a brand new platform or some other reason. Only the future can tell, but for now it's nice.

► Pillowfort: beside the post formatting that I find extremely comfortable, my favourite thing is probably communities. I feel like this is the strongest "pro" in favor of Pillowfort because this is where they truly distinguish themselves from other social media.

Communities, in a way, remind me of forums. They're however easier to take in hand since you don't have to deal with as many options and choices. In my opinion, communities on Pillowfort are a bit lacking in functionalities though. I think more tools to easily organize them would help, like a widget or something to link stuff so you can create and animate events within said communities.

(I also feel like Pillowfort would gain from not being dark blue. We have more than enough dark blue websites, and it doesn't go well with the warmth invoked by its name in my opinion, but that's a minor detail and just a matter of taste.)

► Bluesky: basically Twitter but better. No algorithm, for a start. The curated feeds are nice. They're a bit like communities on Pillowfort since they can be moderated but from a non-mod user, it's even easier to post in them: you just have to use the right keyword for your post to appear there. Well, if the mod left it open to all rather than chose to vet who can or cannot post in it. Lots of flexibility and control over your timeline overall.

I don't like the 300 characters limit, however. Never liked it with Twitter either. It's not really conductive to conversations, and the general design tends to make the website feel rather impersonal. It's really more like parallel talking than community building.

Overall I think it's a good tool to promote your (visual) art or website, etc. but not great for hosting conversations past commenting briefly what others are doing. I mean, you can make threads but it'll never be as good as Pillowfort or Tumblr for this.

► Dreamwidth: I'll start with saying that Dreamwidth isn't a social media, it's a journaling platform and I haven't used it much yet. Had in plan to post my headcanons about my muses there and stuff like that so I did spend some time trying to figure out how it works.

First, there is a lot of options to let you have complete control over who can see what. Like, a lot.

You can entirely personalize what your journal will look like. It's a bit easier than having your own website—since I reblogged a post about that yesterday—because you don't start from 0, so it might be a good option if you don't feel comfortable jumping into Notepad++ to start coding. You can just change a thing here and there, or nothing at all, or almost everything. It's pretty old school though, so for those completely unfamiliar with early/pre-web 2.0, it might not look very appealing at first. However, I'd say don't let that stop you! If anything, it's a good opportunity to learn a bit of code without pressure.

You can also create communities, which as you might have guessed is very important to me. When creating one, you can set up whether everyone can join, everyone can ask to join but has to be approved by a community admin or to limit the access to those you have personally invited. Like for your own journal, communities are completely customizable, and Dreamwidth allows adult content.

I'm not sure you can top DW communities in terms of functionalities—aside from making a forum—but it's not as intuitive as Pillowfort (though in exchange you get more customization). You're also more limited regarding image hosting (see here). That said, hosting services exist, many are free, and that's without mentioning that you can post on Twitter and the like and use the picture link in your DW posts. I don't think many will only use Dreamwidth anyway.

► Cohost: I was expecting nothing when I registered earlier today, but this is an overall good surprise: it's Tumblr, but better.

More control of what you see. More user-friendly UI. It's not fucking blue. Adult content allowed. You can change your main blog page and make it private.

The only two downsides I'd mention here would be that you can't customize your blog page appearance and you have to wait for one or two days before being able to post. Although if it means less bots, I'd rather wait.

And this ends my rather non-exhaustive tour of the social media/blogging/journaling platforms. If you catch any mistakes let me know. I didn't dive deep, this was just me sharing my thoughts.

(As far as I know, they all allow adult content and give you tools to not see it if you don't want to.)

[prophetofhope]

I am thirteen years old, sitting in my grandmother's kitchen. The television is turned to some news channel, as it almost always is between runs of Soap Operas and The Big Bang Theory.

GAY MARRIAGE FEDERALLY LEGALIZED the headline reads, with a background shot of the front of the Supreme Court building. There are hoardes of people gathered out front, with rainbow flags waving high. The camera pans past two men locked in an amorous embrace, and joy is written across every line of their bodies.

I'm trying to keep my reactions neutral, but my grandmother shoots me a knowing look when she says 'Its about time, ya know. I mean come on- it's 2015!'

I am filled with hope. The world that I will go into is more fair and equal for people like me. Surely, it could only get better from here.

Time passes. Things change, fluctuate. I become more educated on things like queer history, I become more aware of what it took to win that victory. I become more aware that what we have could be taken from us at any time. I start to see the patterns. I start to hear the dog whistles. I start to understand that progress is not linear. I learn more and more. I start to notice parallels. I realize this may all be harder than I anticipated.

I see the writing on the wall years before anyone around me. I sound the alarms, but I am told to calm down. My entire highschool career is spent debating 'devils advocates' and avoiding reckless drivers in the parking lot with MAGA flags flying from back of the lifted pickups their parents bought them.

I am twenty-two years old, just a little less than a month shy of my 23rd birthday, standing alone at work. My phone is tuned to a Livestream of the 2025 inauguration and I am physically standing at least five feet away, outwardly cringing at every new word. I can listen or I can watch- I can't bring myself to do both.

I am waiting for him to say something about trans people- about me, about my wife, about my best friend and so many of the people I hold dear- praying that he won't but knowing that he will, that fear of us is part of what won him the seat and he isn't likely to let up now.

"It will be the policy of the United States that there are only two genders, male and female," he says.

I swear out loud and silently thank the universe that I'm the only one staffing the store right now. None of this is unexpected but all of it is still devastating. It still wounds that thirteen year old inside me who saw only progress on the horizon less than a decade ago.

I am still filled with hope, though now it is purposeful- it is resistance. It is a cultivated and hard-won 'fuck you' to keep hoping for a good world even as powerful men vow they won't let that happen. The world I have grown into is not fair or equal for most types of people, but we have no choice but to keep going from here.

I am thirteen, and the future is bright.

I am twenty-two, and I am ready to fight for it.