#call cps on they ass
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homestuck au where everything is the same but lord english is the 1886 autism pool guy
#the handmaid#damara megido#get her out of there#again#call cps on they ass#lord english#doc scratch#the felt#homestuck intermission#homestuck#homestuck art#hs intermission#my art
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gwayne being concerned when aegon entered the battlefield with sunfyre... that's favourite nephew right there
maaaaan gwayne should've just taken aegon to oldtown too like he did with daeron when he was little……
#calling CPS on alicents ass😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹#gwayne hightower#aegon ii targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#ales.txt#asks
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Me seeing another unhinged panel of Damian "doesn't this kid should be AT SCHOOL??????"
#no seriously does damian even goes to school?????#does he do that????#I think that last time I saw that mentioned was in supersons#someone call cps on batman#what do you mean you know how to kill a man but can't sit your ass to do your homework
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GEGE WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU (ch.261)
Gege. Gege Please. Gege Why. Gege GAZE UPON YOUR OWN CREATIONS. Are your creations not of your own blood and sweat??? Are they not your legacy- Are they not equivalent to your heirs???? HOW CAN YOU BE SO COLD??? GEGE. when I FUCKING CATCH YOU.😭😭😭😭
#Calling cps on this damned cat's ass#WHAT IS THIS INSANITY????#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#geto suguru#yuta okkotsu#jjk#jujustu kaisen#ch 261#gege aint seeing the light for this one#gege when i fucking catch you#gege akutami
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Y’all lucky I’m not famous bc id be calling your mom a hoe if you were wildin’ in my dms on a random Saturday
#whenever shit like this happens with any celeb (but especially the ones you know are online and see stuff)#i cant help but wonder what the rest of their dms look like#but fans of all fandoms tend to take it too far#like cmon#(unrelated but also is it?? just a few days ago a random ass fan called cps on cardi b just bc they dont like her)#like ???
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Partners in Crime a FNAF AU
General thoughts:
• Mrs. Afton (for convenience sake called Clara) is as toxic as her husband
• She knows about his killings but doesn't intervene, instead encourages it
• She lies for him, makes up alibis
• She's not someone you would like to have as a mother
• She's narcissistic and possessive as well, sees her children more as a mean to keep up appearances then anything else
• They do love each other, but have no love left for anyone else
I might make it into small little comic strips- I need to polish this AU out tho.
#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#william afton#clara afton#mrs. afton#william x clara#purple guy#partners in crime au#partners in crime#toxic ass parenrs#call cp on them#sigyn art
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Lol I never resent my mother more for both smoking while pregnant with me and constantly smoking around me throughout my childhood despite my already diagnosed and serious chronic health issues (plural) than when I really miss playing the clarinet
#don't smoke around kids#that goes for pot too#lol turns out new research shows that there's a large correlation between Crohn's disease and maternal smoking so#don't smoke while pregnant either#literally the only time an adult in power ever cared about me was when the ER dr treating me for severe bronchitis#looked at my records and saw i had been there the year before with the same issues bc my mom was always smoking around me#and told my mom if i came back to the ER with bronchitis again he would call CPS on her ass#so after fourteen years (fifteen if you count the pregnancy period) of smoking around me she finally stopped#too little too late my lungs are permanently scarred and weak lmao#so bye bye clarinet#and that was before i developed asthma even
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why the fuck is there nothing but beverages in wanda's fridge
#ma'am what the fuck are you feeding your fake children#just cereal??? only cereal???#its like. oj. other juice. milk. coffee. soda. MORE JUICE#like half of her food space is JUST BEVERAGES#i guess vision doesnt eat and the children have existed for like 3 days total#but also like. wanda jesus. for all of the 3 days she has had them and she already wants to get rid of them#making them age up to stop them crying. the first night.#when vision DOESN'T NEED TO SLEEP#so like. they dont even have to sleep in shifts#and now she's like. i need a Me Day#when their dad has dissapeared and all the shit in the house is flickering#she is. such a terrible fucking mom#someone call CPS on her ass
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taking every parent by the shoulders and shaking them aggressively
Yelling at/threatening/hitting your child does nothing but make them scared of you
Yelling at your child won’t make them stop crying
Yelling at your child won’t stop their bad behavior
Stop being mean to your fucking kids
Stop trying to make your kids be who you wanted to be, they are their own person and your job is to cultivate that person
Stop emotionally checking out after your kids hit puberty!
Your kids did not ask to be born, you may not have either but you chose to keep them
I don’t care how tired, broke or, down you are, if you take it out on your child you are a piece of shit and your kid is going to grow up to resent you for it
If you feel the need to hit your kids for having emotions or acting badly you did not “turn out fine” being scared of your parents is not normal!
BE THE PARENT YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS WERE
And if you find yourself struggling to keep calm: GET HELP FOR IT! Your kids should not have to bear the brunt of your unresolved issues!
#I heard my neighbors yelling at their kid yday. threatening a toddler for crying#their kid is too young to talk but knows what ‘I’m going to beat your ass’ means#like your kid learns emotional regulation skills only if YOU teach them. what is yelling going to teach them? most likely nothing except#that you are someone to be scared of and they cannot make mistakes in front of you!#anyways I called cps but most likely they won’t do anything#so yeah! hey how come no one I know my age trusts or even likes their parents?#well you see it’s because people don’t like people who are mean to them :)#being related doesn’t change that#I have to relearn how to be a person because no adult who had control over my life was kind to me#vent#but it’s ok to rb#idk why does it have to be a hot take to say you shouldn’t threaten your children with violence??#the hardest part for me wasn’t even surviving abuse it is learning how to feel safe afterwards
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now i wont get into the mr elliot adopting the membranes here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but im putting that in mewr head too
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Im very upset at life and myself. I wish I had gotten out there to vote instead of being scared of being murdered by my own family...
#i hate that i couldnt vote but my life was/is being threatened#i cant exactly vote when all of the family i live with is for Trump#my father was/is violently abusive and i always think he is gonna kill me one day#he doesnt even need a reason#although I guess me calling CPS on his ass is enough#i think he really wants me dead
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how can I tell my friend to stop talking about his dead grandma bc it’s really bumming me out in a nice way
#like he probably blames himself or sm bc I hear it like twice a week minimum#and I just have to sit there nodding saying well maybe can you not#I feel bad I really do#but I’m already handling half his problems#I have to fucking beg him to not kill himself nearly everyday#and I’m trying to encourage him to get more help#and more friends than just me#I’ve told the guidance counselor at school about him being suicidal#and they’ll hopefully do the same thing as with me#where cps gets called (his parents suck bc ofc they do)#and/or they make his parents get him a therapist#but knowing his stubborn ass he probably won’t tell them shit#He didn’t want me to tell the school anyways#but like#I cant fucking watch him all the time#or make sure he doesn’t self harm#but#the government can#and it’s really fucking stressful knowing your friend could fucking hurt or kill themselves and you can’t do anything to stop it#especially since I have severe anxiety and some paranoia#and most of my friends are actively suicidal anyways#and so am I!!#but I know I’m not strong enough to actually do it so I’m the least of my worries#i fucking cut myself once and told my parents the same day#I’m a weak and pathetic excuse of mentally ill. lol#it’s unfair really#how I’m the one who has a therapist#yet there’s millions of kids who need it way more than me but can’t#i have a vent blog idk why I’m not doing this one there#follow Dumbartistneedshelp for the monologues of a depressed teenager
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Have you thought about a situation where CPS has almost taken Chris away? The angst potential for this AU is good
If they were ever close, Chris would have never known about it...
Also shout out to the anon who suggested I call this AU Guardianship AU!! It now has a name YIPPEEEEE
I'm gonna lore dump about it real quick bc I have ideas and if I do not say them I will forget them.
Martin is 9 years older than Chris. Their parents died when Martin was 17 and Chris was 8. Martin got emancipated and was able to take custody of Chris but like all government branches... it's a really long process that basically drags out for Chris' entire childhood. Martin graduates high school early, gets a full-ride scholarship at Duke University while maintaining various jobs and internships. Sounds like a lot? yEAH bro is TIRED. But he's willing to put in the work if it means a better future for his bro.
Of course eventually he becomes apart of the Tortuga crew and things get a lot easier for them both. CPS is still riding his ass about taking Chris with him on these cross-country expeditions but he's been dealing with them for so long at that point it's not as scary.
#wild kratts#littlecrittereli#chris kratt#martin kratt#WK Guardianship AU#wild kratts fanart#wild kratts au#kratt brothers#Martin with a mullet because he WOULD#teenage Chris would look back at photos and make fun of him#asks#Martin is willing to cross mountains for Chris#yes he will suffer for this intense mental load in the future#he has basically no support system until the Tortuga crew rolls around#they take him in like a raccoon they found digging in the trash /J#and are like ok buddy its time to start taking care of yourself!!!#(believe it or not Martin has a hard time putting his own needs first!!!! /s)
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Dick Grayson V Gotham
Chapter 1 - AO3 - Constantine Jr. AU
There were a few minutes every morning, in the dark before dawn when his alarm hadn’t yet rung, where Dick Grayson felt most at peace. Despite the ache in his body the night out as Nightwing, he felt refreshed and content to just rest his eyes until his phone rang and it was time to get ready for the day.
Unfortunately, peace was never meant to last.
With a loud crash that definitely woke the neighbors, a little body kicked his door in. A switch was flipped and blinding light filled the room. Dick squinted in the general direction of the intruder. “Get up already!” Danny, his ward, snapped, rushing forward to rip the blankets off his bed. Dick let him. “There’s a case ready for us at the precinct!”
Dick checked his phone. No missed calls, and Danny didn’t have a phone yet. “Is this another psychic thing?” he asked.
Danny rolled his eyes. “If I say yes, will you get your ass out of bed already?”
“Language,” he chided absentmindedly, but still got out of bed. Danny glared up at him, still not satisfied, and dragged him to the bathroom with a surprising amount of strength for an 8-year-old. “Huh! You’re really in a hurry today.”
“No, you’re just super slow!”
Dick pulled back against Danny, slowing their progress considerably. “Oh, it’s the age!” Dick bemoaned, draping himself dramatically against the wall. “Now that I have a kid of my own to look after, the years have started to take their toll—Ow!”
Danny glared up at him like he hadn’t just kicked Dick in the shin. Brat. “Be dramatic in your own time! We have a case, Dick, we need to go!”
“Alright, alright, I’m going!” Dick complied and got in the bathroom, saying just before he closed the door, “Make sure you’re dressed in clothes you can afford to lose! I don’t want you to get blood on your favorite jeans again!” Danny shouted back his agreement and finally, Dick was alone.
As Dick washed his face and did his business, he contemplated how he got there. Honestly, he didn’t get what Bruce was always complaining about; this guardianship thing was going great! It was three weeks since he’d wrangled Danny home, but he’d been preparing for this for months, ever since he learned that the little brat trying to solve murders was homeless. It took months of classes, meetings with CPS, and interviews with friends and family, but Dick was now the proud foster parent of Danny Smith!
Fortunately, Dick had managed to convince Bruce that the foster license was precautionary, like if he needed to protect a minor. Which was what he was doing! So not technically a lie!
Although, Bruce had his hands full already. Some new crime lord had taken up the Joker’s old alias and it was driving the old man up the wall. Bruce had even asked Dick for help on the case last night! He’d said no, of course; he wasn’t just going to abandon Danny in Bludhaven for days while they hunted down Red Hood, and he wasn’t going to spring Danny on Bruce, nor Bruce on Danny. Danny was a flight risk and had expressed disdain for millionaires in the past, and Bruce was… worse than he used to be. Tim had managed to resurrect some of the dad Bruce used to be, but ever since Jason…
Well, it was good that they wouldn’t be seeing each other any time soon. Maybe by then Tim will have convinced Bruce to go to therapy!
Coming out of the bathroom, Dick started at Danny, dressed in jeans and a Digimon t-shirt, standing on the counter and getting Dick’s lunch bag off the shelf. He cocked an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”
“Packing breakfast to-go!” Danny said, jumping off the counter. Dick’s heart skipped a beat and he lunged forward, but Danny landed before Dick could reach him. He glared at Dick. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” He straightened up, playing it cool. He observed what Danny had laid out for breakfast as he started the coffee machine. A banana, two yogurts, and a handful of granola just poured out onto the table. “You know, you absorb more nutrients when you sit down and actually enjoy your food. And we don’t need lunch to-go. Remember, we talked about this? We have to wait for someone to report the crime first.”
“How do you know no one hasn’t yet?” Danny challenged.
“Have they?”
“...No. We could report the crime though,” Danny grumbled, but opened a yogurt cup.
They really couldn’t. If they reported the crime, they’d still have to wait for other officers and CSI before investigating, and that’s even if they were given the case! But more importantly… Dick was the only officer in the department who believed Danny could see ghosts.
Sure, Commissioner Gonzalez believed Danny, but that was just one woman. As much as he appreciated the Commissioner’s work helping get Danny off the streets and processing the paperwork to ensure the boy got recognition as an official BPD consultant… well, Dick knew she had ties to the gangs in town, he just couldn’t prove it. Just because she liked him and Danny doesn’t make her good.
The fact that she promoted him to detective was evidence enough. Dick was an amazing detective—like everyone trained by Batman—but normally you’d need a certain number of years and successful cases for that level of promotion, both of which Dick didn’t have. Hell, he’d only been working as a cop for two years! But Danny was only willing to work with Dick… so Dick became the youngest detective in the city.
The coffee machine sang a little robotic song and Dick placed a Nightwing mug under the spout just in time to catch the stream. As Danny finished his breakfast, Dick shooed him off to go brush his teeth and turned on the TV. He still had thirty minutes before they had to leave for work—
“—taking after his father!” Jack Rider’s voice rang through the apartment. Dick frowned; why was this trash on? “Although I have to say, I don’t think anyone ever expected Richard Grayson to adopt a child of his own!”
Dick froze. What? No, he’d worked so hard to ensure that no one would find out—
A picture flashed on screen of Dick and Danny. Dick recognized it immediately; he’d taken Danny out to eat to celebrate Danny officially becoming his foster child. But that was weeks ago! They’d been sitting on the story for that long?
They didn’t even bother to blur Danny’s face.
“Now, Jack,” the co-host chided, “Let’s not get too hasty. Our source at Bludhaven PD—who will be unnamed to protect their privacy—said it was only a foster, not an adoption.”
Jack waved her concern away. “Yes, a foster. For now. Don’t you remember how long Richard was Brucie’s ward? Sure, the kid might only be a foster for now, but with this family, adoption is always on the table!”
Turning away from the TV, Dick checked their security cameras on his phone. When he’d first moved in, Babs had hacked into all the cameras in the apartment, piggy-backing off their feeds. There, outside the building’s main entrance, were multiple reporters. Some had even gotten into the building, although their aimless wandering told him that their apartment number hadn’t been leaked yet.
“Still, another street kid in the family,” Jack continued to muse. “That’s two now for the Waynes, right? Are they going to take off with an entire orphanage next?”
“Dick?”
He locked eyes with Danny, who gave the TV a worried look. But Danny didn’t get worried; he was a cocky, grumpy brat who’d given Dick a heart attack when he dared a gang member to shoot him in the face. But a news story scared him?
Smart kid. Dick was feeling scared too. So, he made the executive decision.
Dick knelt down to Danny’s height, gently grasping his shoulders. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to call out of work—”
“But Mrs. Bennett’s murder!” came the immediate protest.
Dick took note of the name, but held up a hand to stop him. “I know, I know. But it’s not safe for us to go to the precinct right now.” Someone at BPD had told the reporters about them. One of his colleagues, pissed that he’d gotten his promotion unfairly? Someone who hated that a little kid solved murders better than them? Or anyone looking to make a quick buck? The possibilities were endless.
He continued, “Commissioner Gonzalez will understand and help us consult with the case from online, okay? We’ll get sent pictures of the crime scene and you can talk to Mrs. Bennett and we’ll consult from Gotham just to be safe.” He had some PTO he could use, right? If not… Gonzalez could just fire him. He’d already known his co-workers were corrupt assholes, but to willingly put a child in danger was a step too far. If Gonzalez wanted to keep Dick—and therefore, Danny—she’d better clean house.
Danny made a face. “Why Gotham?”
“That’s where my family lives! While we wait for the story to die down, I’ll introduce you to my grandfather, Alfred, and my brother Tim, and my friend, Barbra! I’ll show you around to all the fun spots, it’ll be fun! So go get packed, buddy.”
Hesitating in the doorway, Danny said, “They won’t listen to me. The other officers aren’t like you.”
“They will listen to you. I’ll make them,” Dick promised. He’d gathered enough blackmail on his fellow detectives to force the issue, if needs be. He ruffled Danny’s hair. “Don’t worry, Danny. It’ll just be for a week or two and then everything will be back to normal. I promise.”
Danny glared at him, batting his hand away. “I’ll keep you to that promise, old man.”
As Danny retreated to his room—Dick’s former workout room—to pack, Dick went to his own, closing and locking the door behind him. The call to Gonzalez went about as well as he was expecting: first her anger at him taking time off, then his anger about being sold out to the media, then Gonzalez swearing as she found the news online, until finally agreement.
As they talked, Dick methodically packed away his Nightwing gear. After last night, where a slime meta had unceremoniously caked his suit in gunk that would not come out, he had two functioning suits: his back-up and his original that he kept for sentimental value. He packed all three, along with his gear. Maybe Alfred would be able to get the gunk out? But he couldn’t leave his things here. Their location was already compromised. If reporters decided the risk was worth it, they could break into his apartment and turn the whole place upside down looking for a story.
So, Dick had to take the story with him.
With all his gear packed, there was little room for personal belongings, so he did the best he could and only took the important things. His room at the manor still had a few changes of clothes. Fortunately Danny wasn’t a nosy kid, otherwise he’d never be able to get away with carrying his Nightwing gear in a normal duffel bag like this.
Now, the hard part.
The phone rang three times before it was picked up. “Master Richard.” Alfred’s icy tone made him wince. Oh, he already knew. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Hey, Alfie…” Dick rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted to say that I decided I can help Bruce on that Red Hood case after all?”
“I see.” No matter how angry Alfred was, he was frighteningly polite. “And shall I prepare a second bedroom for your ward?”
Dick winced. “That would be great, Alfred. Thank you.”
“Then I will see you soon. And please inform the young master that I look forward to meeting him when you both arrive.”
“I’ll tell him. He’s been looking forward to meeting you; I’ve been talking up your cooking for months now.”
“Months?” Oh no. “How kind of you, Master Grayson.” It got worse. Alfred was pissed now. Why did he have to say months? It wasn’t like Dick had intentionally hidden Danny from his family; he was just hiding him from Bruce! He wanted some privacy and to figure things out himself! But now Alfie was mad and suddenly that privacy didn’t seem so important anymore. “Shall I assume you’ll be arriving soon then?”
“In around an hour.” Leaving his room, he checked on Danny. He was trying to back everything he owned into the suitcase Dick had bought him. “Maybe a little longer? I’ll call when we’re ten minutes away.”
“Then I will see you soon, Master Grayson.”
@starlightcat04 @maeashryver @widderwise @darkstarsapocalypse @sisma @luminanightfall @storm-fire98 @amyheart19 @collectingthegoods @redhoneysugarorange @lordfirecat2004 @screechingnoises @meira-3919 @dannyphannypack @satisfactionbroughtmeback @rowanaway-fromthisbs @i-always-say-yea @avelnfear @some-rotten-nest @ark12 @heirxofxtime @akikkobara @blep-23 @skulld3mort-1fan @markus209 @stargirl1331 @onlyhereforthechaos @inth3world @awkwardmaiden @fantasticbluebirdfan @currant-owo @alice-hazelwood @screamingtofillthevoid @crystalqueertea @gaelicholiday @gmkelz11 @mattybook1987-blog @bytheoldwillowtree @apointlessbox @chemical-pepis @ghostface3100 @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @bathildaburp @boo-ghosties @bubblemixer @halfalix @lyra689 @dragon-dancer16 @lunadoll36 @mimilikey @hellomygay @frogs-are-pretty-awesom @overtherose @cyrwrites @your-emo-nightmare @lexdamo @roman4517 @a-slytherinish-gryffindor @raginblastocyst @thegatorsgoose @fisticuffsatapplebees @olivethetreebitch @vixen-uchiha @ae-vixrose @joseph557 @kisatamao @gin2212 @thewondersoflebanon @d4ydr34min9 @malice-of-the-sunrise @tiblii @that-awkward-fae-nerd @aph-mable @dolfay @ghostreblogging @wackyattack @writer-extraordinaire @boo-ghosties @coruscateselene @emergentpanda-blog
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#de aged danny#constantine jr au#c: danny fenton#c: dick grayson#this took FOREVER#I could not figure out where to start#because the very beginning felt wrong to me?#but i figured out why#because that part i cared about was the drama#the stuff before now is just backstory#backstory i will go into through talking and flashbacks and memories but still backstory#idk if i'll continue posting on tumblr but the ao3 link is right there so...
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oooooo white people in my replies really saying ‘I can excuse racism but I draw the line at homophobia’
Not surprised since this is the site that only talks about racism and thinks it’s a big deal when they see it demonstrated in the cartoons and comics they like *coughs* dungeonmeshi *coughs* (for example at least. I haven’t seen THIS many white ppl talk as in depth about racism on here as much as these fandom nerds, man. I stg. Like “Ohhhh, so you all DO acknowledge that racism is real? Just not in real life even if you could feel it slapping you in the face at high speed. Gotcha.” It’s crazy.
Tumblr is like, 90% white and is extremely centered around them. That’s why you barely see stuff that’s important to black and brown people ever trending here or being talked about. It has to be something incredibly huge to the point where even white people can’t ignore it like they usually do, to talk about it here.
They only talked about George Floyd here because the topic of his death became world news. Even people in other countries were talking about it. Before him, it was probably Ferguson and Trayvon Martin… most of them are still trying their best to ignore the genocides because it’s a “touchy subject.” What do you expect from white people who live in their own bubbles of comfort and refuse to pop it with a needle??? They find comfort in their privilege and faux ignorance (they love playing stupid to avoid conversations about important things outside of fandoms like, are these mfs born with half a brain dedicated to fandom or what.) That’s literally all these mfs make a big deal out of, especially on this annoying ass platform. The ao3 mfs will go to war for the site that allows racist ff and cp like it’s no big deal. I wonder how many people here even donated to the site while actively scrolling past dono posts from folks who really do need help. They act like they’re doing a civil service by defending this site that makes over the amount of it’s intended dono goal in minutes.
Then you already know as soon as you even bring up racism in the stuff they like, they start ganging up and harassing black bloggers especially, calling them TERFs and the whole nine. Anything to make that person look bad for being concerned about the racism that they have such an intense aversion to. God, it’s absolutely exhausting knowing that these people would have no problem choosing a cartoon character over your entire existence if they COULD. Isn’t that fucking sad, man?
#:(#it’s like what can you do#as a black person I get why sm black bloggers here have ‘don’t follow me if you’re white’ in their bios#they’ll call it racist or whatever (it’s fucking not you guys just treat black ppl like shit here and most of us feel unsafe to interact#with y’all. you guys always turn on us at the drop of a hat)#i remember commenting on a HS post funny enough years ago#because the punchline of the post was literally the white mfs saying nigga#and I was so annoyed that I told them off and one of my white mutuals unfollowed meanjsjsjsl#like right after that#and another unfollowed me because I talk about racism and the like a lot like this is a really well known artist too so I was like 🧍🏾♀️?#because I talk about racism a lot??? it’s weird lol#like they’ll tolerate you for a while then when they feel offended they start to act weird and act like you’re not supposed to talk about#the stuff that effects you#tkf replies#karmelarts#they don’t give a shit about anything if it doesn’t personally Involve them#they act like they can’t relate to anyone or anything it they aren’t marginalized themselves (being gay or trans which they treat as a#personality trait)#notice how you never see movies/ shows about black and brown ppl trending here? it’s always white centered shit no#matter how hot and popular that show might be#you’ll never see something like the wire snowfall or power trending here#all of the black ppl are on twitter anyway so#sm black ppl got ran off of here by annoying white ppl
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Rise au with the whole 'Draxum kidnaps a turtle for nefarious and evil purposes' trope except the gargoyles are super not into it and actively trying to free said turtle
Like maybe they aren't super obviously going against it or anything (especially given the premise of their boss kidnapping a whole ass child and presumably more or less torturing them, he's probably not a guy you necessarily want to confront directly) but they are distinctly not playing along.
Cause the thing is, they've canonically been lying to him since the day he hired them and he presumably never figured that out (he probably would not have kept them around if he had) and they're kinda known for being 'stupid' and messing stuff up, so it wouldn't be all that hard for them to just. Do that on purpose.
For example: Draxum tells them to stop feeding the whichever turtle it is so that he can starve into compliance. A few days later he's like "damn why isn't starving them working" and the gargoyles are just like "oh we were supposed to be doing that? we forgor oopsie :("
or like
Draxum asks them to watch the turtle overnight, and the next morning they're like "oh did you mean keep them in the cage overnight? Cause we just let them out. Yeah for a stretch, a quick little run. Btw you're paying us overtime for that right?"
Draxum's like "well go find them you buffoons" and they're like "okay fine", and then come back half an hour later and are like "good news we figured out how to find the kid fast! we called yokai CPS :)"
#rottmnt#rottmnt au#bambi's rambling#tw starvation#starvation mention#implied torture#torture mention#okay so this is trending towards nonsubtle instead of subtle but whatever its funny#also was late at night when i wrote this post#i wrote this up in the discord but i'm trying to phrase it more succinctly lol#but its basically 'sorry boss torturing kids is not in our job description'
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