#she is. such a terrible fucking mom
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I don't like to post political shit but I am going to fucking say this:
I hope anyone who voted for Trump dies the most horrific death conceivable.
Actually.
I've been homeless with my family for fucking 3, almost 4, months. Trump just shut down the fucking funding that was going to help my mom buy a house. A house for my mom, who's been almost killed 5 times because of domestic violence, who's disabled because of it. My mom, who was going to be the first homebuyer in her family. My mom, who has fought her entire fucking life despite the odds. My mom, who deserved the safety after 10 years of running.
They just took stability, safety, and a fucking HOUSE from my family. They just took it from a 9 year old fighting depression he shouldn't have to, an 18 year old who fights for his family every fucking day, and from my MOTHER who has been beating odds at every goddamn turn in this STUPID ROAD. We have poured thousands of dollars into this house. We were supposed to close on Thursday. And now the money has been paused. They killed our loan and now we have to wait until "further instruction from the president".
Anyone who voted for Trump, I hope you die. I genuinely truly do. Fucking choke. Get cholera and DIE.
#fuck trump#im so done everyone. im done.#hearing my 9 year old brother sob in the back of the car while i wrote this out was terrible.#watching my mom pull over when we got the news and feeling the shake of cars driving by us as she cried was devastating.#my patience was dwindling before but now it is gone. it is gone. there is only so much i can handle before i snap and that was my limit.#3+ months of waiting. of patience and positivity. for that.#i cannot stop hoping and praying for better but right now? im livid.
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Also a bit obsessed with how Vernestra seemed to care about Sol so deeply, how seeing him dead really affected her & she gave his body signs of mourning & love, of attachement & burned him herself, all despite framing him for Mae & the Stranger's horrible acts, including killing his teenage padawan.
#she still called him a good man it's all so terribly fucked#vernestra rwoh#he's the girldad she's the mother of a son they are parents they are mom & dad kinda#master vernestra#master sol#star wars#the acolyte
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Fanart for @lucasandcie, who I've been wanting to draw fanart for for awhile now! Since I first started doing artfight actually, cuz I first discovered him there. I had been planning to attack some of his characters, they all look so pretty!! But...after I attacked one of his sonas, a worm on the string, he blocked me there. I have no idea why, but I may have done something that they said they dont want in their character permissions which I admit I did not read. Though, im gonna be honest, im a pretty emotional person and im pretty sure I fucking sobbed when I found out he blocked me :'D (its fine im fine everythings fine)
If @lucasandcie does see this, best case scenario he likes it and maybe even unblocks me on artfight (I really hope so :'0), worst case scenario he blocks me here as well-
Also, if he does see this and does read all of this, I want him to know that I am NOT trying to guilt trip him, im just speaking my thoughts and maybe perhaps venting a bit becase this has been the cause of so much sadness and it took me a couple weeks to get over it (mostly-) Another thing, if he is reading this and it is that I crossed his character permissions I AM SO FUCKING SORRY I WAS JUST SO EXCITED TO DRAW A WHOLE BUNCH OF WORMIES HANGING OUT I DIDNT THINK TO CHECK PERMISSIONNNSSSS 😭😭😭😭
Edit: its been figured out
#I think its quite clear that I havent fully gotten over it 😭#dca oc#fnaf dca#not my oc#my art#Im fine#Im not crying a bit you are#Told my mom about what happened and she tried to tell me it was ok and that just because someone blocked me does mean everything is terribl#Proceeded to try to tell myself that#It did not work#Im still so fucking emotional about it oml#Hhhhhh
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I'm gonna say it, Lily Evans was kind of a shit friend. Who in their right mind would see their supposed friend getting harassed by the same people for years then marry the ringleader of the harassment. I wouldn't but maybe that's just me idk.
#yes yes lily was a great mom and sacrificed herself for her kid we know#that isnt what the post is about though#its about how she was absolutely insane for fucking her friends bully#lily evans#anti lily evans#wtf girl#hate to tag one of my posts this but...#marauders era#*gags*#i hate marauders fans but thats for another post#severus snape#you were a terrible person#but holy shit#no one deserves that
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not my brother telling me i don’t visit our mother enough, when he barely did anything for her for almost two years whilst i had to live with her, get her groceries every time she needed them, helped her whenever i was home, would drive 45 minutes to help her when no one else was home, do not tell me i don’t care nor do i not visit enough, i have spent the last 22 years of my LIFE with her and i finally am now living on my own without her, so yea i like my space i like having a fucking choice, i like being able to call her everyday and decide when i want space. I have done almost everything for her and still do what i can even if shes almost 2 hours away. Like sorry you are dealing with guilt because you literally moved out and barely visited her afterwards, and then finally visited more because you got broken up with 🤷♀️
#sorry yall this is probably something i should tell my therapist but i just needed to get that off my chest#my brother saying ‘she wants one on one time’ okay she is a grown adult she can tell me if she wants that#and if she cannot communicate with me then that is not my fucking problem#deadass so done with people policing my life and how much i visit or talk to my family#i am FINALLY living alone i have lived and had to deal with my family for my entire life and into my twenties#in my eyes i am finally free and i do not need anyone guilt tripping me#just because they were terrible sons who now feel guilty for not doing more#my mom knows how i feel and she knows my boundaries
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SHIT i forgot to say this, so now i feel bad for making two posts about sick things in a row, but MY HAIR IS GROWING BACK bitchessss 😍
lmao, so before I started chemo, I had my hair cut to a crewcut type of style. So my hair was about 2 centimeters long. And then when it started falling out, I never shaved it to actually be bald. I just started shedding. All over my pillow. It was so annoying. So one night, I just pulled it all out (and no, it didn't hurt - imagine pulling a clump of hair from a husky dog during shedding season) and I dumped it on my bathroom floor (my mom cleaned it up the next day because I felt too sick lol). However there were a few strands that were, for whatever reason, fall-out resistant. I didn't pull those strands out (because pulling those out would've actually hurt), so I'm not technically bald. Do a google image search of "Eleanor bald Good Place" and you'll see what I mean lol. Anyway so I have a few strands of hair just like Eleanor's, which at this point are all about 5 centimeters long. But new hair is also growing, but it's just a stubble. So, check out this faaaabulous illustration of what my hair literally looks like in the mirror right now lmao:
It looks JUST as dorkish as my drawing lmao. Makes me laugh every time.
Anyway lol, I hope you all were as intrigued about these hair anecdotes as I hoped you would be, because honestly I'm fascinated by how all of this has happened.
#lmao so i am relieved about this whole thing because it means my eyebrows are growing back!#the story of how my eyebrows fell out is weird#it didn't happen during chemo#they thinned out a *tiny* bit during chemo but they were still going strong#until two months AFTER i was DONE with chemo!#imagine me sitting here waiting for things to start growing back only for my eyebrows to fall OUT lol#they were just GONE one morning#(not the entire eyebrow fell out btw. just half of the eyebrow. the half closest to my nose. i call them the 'inside corners' lol)#i don't care about my hair but the inside corners of my eyebrows falling out was super unexpected at that point so it actually upset me#so i started drawing them back on lol#(I did that a lot when i used to cosplay so i'm pretty decent at it)#anyway i noticed a couple days ago that the inside corners are actually starting to grow back now!!!#so yay!!!#but lmfaooo it's not time to celebrate yet#because literally as of two days ago#the OUTSIDE corners of my eyebrows have disappeared#it happened the same exact way. one morning i woke up and they were just gonezo lol#(luckily if i had to choose i'd definitely prefer to keep the inside corners than the outside ones. so this isn't terrible. i'm okay lol)#i told this to my mom#and she was like 'oh so basically your eyebrows broke in half'#alskhg;lasdhglk#anyway so that was really interesting#it's almost like the old eyebrow hairs had to fall out for the new eyebrow hairs to start growing?#and they're doing it one half of an eyebrow at a time???#fucking wild man like#everyone knows chemo makes hair fall out#but nobody knows the absolutely wacko details#sick posting#personal
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Day 10 of Dhmis oddtober: Parents/Family!

Ref under cut!!
(@persy-r-bozo)

#I’m terrible at drawing humans I’m sorry#She’s actually so pretty#I think this fits the theme I honestly just really wanted to draw my own idea for their mom based on her actual appearance#In transport#Rip the twins mom#I actually kinda like his drawing even if the anatomy’s fucked [heartbreak] [heartbreak]#:3#dhmis#Dhmis lily and Todneys mom#dhmis nancy#Coffinz brain artz!!!#don’t hug me i’m scared#dhmis oddtober#hope this is a good time to post pleaseee#I am in lesbians with her#Art#traditional art
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DID YOU SEE THAT TARGET IS GONNA START SELLING COMBAT SUIT CHARLES FIGURES SOMETIME NEXT YEAR?????? HE LOOKS SO GOOD
https://marvelousnews.com/252-36312
a little birdy DID tell me and i cannot wait to stare at it for half an hour in the aisle when i should be getting cereal.......
#snap chats#im still miffed he isnt automatically sold with his chair idc if there are rumors they WILL sell A FIGURE with his chair#his chair should be a default accessory dont piss me off#speaking of being pissed off chat this birthday is a fucking NIGHTMARE I HAVE TO HOST#i just met my moms childhood friend. for the first time ever. the fuck#and she was like 'oh you look exactly like your mom 😊 even when you smile you look just like her 😊' like just tell me to die#thatd be kinder i think that womans hiding in her room rn cause she hates her family jAEKRJERAKLJ#whatever theres enough people here they can just start talking to each other ill be fine#idfk wher my brother dipped off to .... dawg help me ....#i want one of these cookies so bad ... i aint sharin tho.. not with these bozos ...#but it gotta be rigth yk what i mean. my sister and i have this terrible habit of hoarding and never using thigns#until 'the right moment' and this goes for literally everything no matter how big/small in/expensive its so bad#BUT YOURE SUPPOSED TO EAT FOOD YOU CANT HOARD THAT plus ... caramel coconut sounds delicious ...#i need these people out of mY WHO IS TAT THE FUCKING DOOR WHO ELSE IS HERE#anyway. i need people out of my house.
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logically i know hacking a 3DS won't be hard and it shouldn't require much but unfortunately ever since my battery bloated i am. Paranoid
#my first 3DS (the one who had a bloated battery) is REALLY old and every time it has a problem i loose 10 years off of my life#its got a bump on the back from the bloated battery. ive opened it back up like 2 times to make sure its ok. UGHHH#the second one is fine but its my only 3DS that can properly play DS games with the bottom touchscreen#my first one registers all touchscreen inputs to the top right corner with DS games#and ive heard that hacking it can cause that problem#so im not sure i wanna hack the second one#AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF i have TERRIBLE luck with electronics!!!!#so like yeah id probably be able to know what im doing but FUCK man im not sure if i wanna risk it#at this point I'm better off asking my mom to help me do this. she's fixed my 3DS before maybe she can help with this#mossball.txt#nintendo 3ds#3ds hacking#3ds homebrew
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...
#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs#to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her#so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their#master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was#awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives.#everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor.#she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest#sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her.#and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism#y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit#was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then#everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite#her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for#them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired#i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do?#unrelated
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Want to know how I know Frozen 3 will most definitely not be great? The announcement of a Frozen 4.
The problem with Frozen 2 was that it had many, many ideas and they attempted, and utterly failed, to condense them into one singular linear story; the problem with Frozen 3 is that they "have so many ideas" that they realized they can't realistically condense them into one singular movie so their solution to "not repeat a frozen 2" is to instead push for ALL ideas to move forward which in turn has given them an overly lengthy cut.
Watching Frozen 1 in cinemas for the first time in a long while really reminded me how Frozen worked because it was very very simple and most of its heart was in the two "main" characters and how they navigated through life after a horrendous situation they were put through.
The heart of Frozen is not all the mystical and mythical elements that they can't get enough of attempting to push, hell, the most compelling part of Elsa as a character was just how raw and human she felt DESPITE having otherworldly powers.
I truly don't know which road they're taking the franchise through, but if the podcast and the books that have come out are anything to go by, it's straying way too far from what made the first movie compelling and enjoyable: its freaking simplicity.
#Frozen#Frozen 2#Frozen 4#Sorry rewatching frozen in cinemas was an otherworldly experience I had never enjoyed a film as much as I did Frozen in recent times#AND THIS IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO ONLY BECAME OBSESSED WITH FROZEN AFTER FROZEN 2#and although I LOVE Elsa's journey in Frozen 2 it really really REALLY is a terrible sequel when you take into account just how good F1 is#lmao I feel like I sound like a bringelsahomer nooooo I just truly feel like focusing on her powers and only the mystical elements is borin#because SHE is complex and Anna is JUST AS COMPLEX but she gets overlooked bc she doesn't have magical manifestations of her turmoil#Just do the mf Ice Queen you can do it now you literally have the characters there already just ADAPT the tale and give us drama mom i beg#Just idk take notes from the book of Arcane and work something around that idk people love seeing sisters fighting#Y'all fucked over the colonizer talk and fucked over the Northuldra part like just stick to something the average girlie can relate to
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spitballing about the altean empire AU, parallel reverse, a bit here because that's the mood I woke up in this morning.
it is, of course based very strongly on the alternate universe arc from who you are in the dark. I kept worldbuilding for it and this is the result.
the main plot focuses on Akira Kogane, our Keith parallel, who unbeknownst to him is half-Altean on his long absent mother's side. He's still raised in foster care, and still wound up under the mentorship of Sven (and still stole his car. some things never change). They have the same close bond that Shiro and Keith do, because of course they do.
They end up in a rebellion against the Altean Empire together, alongside the parallel versions of the other paladins- Tsuyoshi Garret, an engineering teacher from the Galactic Garrison, Isamu McClain, a cargo pilot instructor and Katie "Cat" Holt, whose entire family went on a 'diplomatic' meeting to Altea and never came back.
She stayed with Sven while they were gone (and then never came back), so she ends up knowing Akira quite well.
Akira always possessed an odd ability to temporarily disrupt the hoktrils upon making physical contact with them. This is wildly useful to the rebellion- but also caught the eye of the Altean Empire... and it's current Empress.
Eventually, Akira, Cat, and Tsuyoshi are captured during an ambush and taken back to Altea, where Akira is separated from the other two- and ends up learning more about his mother than he ever wanted to.
It turns out his mother, Lia, was one of the few Alteans who still possessed alchemical abilities, and that she disappeared on a quest to find Oriande. It means he's half-Altean, a fact which he can't deny after the Empress breaks the illusion his mom cast over him before he left Earth, that kept him looking so human.
Since Akira himself also clearly possess her same talents, the Alteans are very eager to convince him to join them. Akira wants nothing to do with the Empire, but he also sees the groundwork of a way to protect both Cat and Tsuyoshi from the hoktril. So he cuts a deal- he'll join them, if they spare them both from it.
(Turns out, the Alteans aren't wildly enthusiastic about applying the hoktril to a race that looks so eerily similar to themselves.)
This saves Cat and Tsuyoshi, although they do both get slapped with a much more old-fashioned pre-hoktril version of the Empire's 'rehabilitation'- effectively, shock collars. Akira can at least pull strings so that they're basically put into his service since apparently all Altean alchemists are brought into the royal family. Which means he's a prince now. what the fuck.
oh yeah. he guesses he's also betrayed the rebellion now too- he did kind of have to sell out one of their bases to really get the Alteans to trust him. Good thing he knows Slav has absolutely cleared the place out by now... but that doesn't stop him from being thrust back into the conflict on the Empire's side now.
he hates everything about it. but if wants to keep Tsuyoshi and Cat safe, he doesn't have much of a choice.
(he's also way too good at selling it for his own comfort. Sven hates him now, he's sure.)
He also learns that not all Alteans have fallen in line with the ways of the Empire. There's a resistance effort within the Empire itself, and they very quickly smoke each other out. This gives him a chance to pass intelligence to them, which they can in turn, pass onto the rebellion.
He also realizes that if he's able to master this alchemy stuff, he might have an actual opportunity to kill the Altean Empress himself and he's not going to pass that up.
In the process of trying to learn more about his talent, he stumbles upon an AI created from the memories of an Altean named Coran, who was killed shortly after Altea became an Empire...
(...and there's a ghost of a woman haunting the halls of the Castle that only he can see.)
#parallel reverse#local half-altean has a terrible time and discovers and ancient conspiracy the AU#coming up with a different name for Pidge's counterpart was fun#bc I couldn't just recycle a name from either the OG version or the actual Japanese show since. well. you know#but I went with Cat bc Pidge sounds like pigeon and you can get “cat” from katie#she takes after her mom and is more of a biology nerd#which means. unlike pidge. she loves touching grass#pidge voice: what the fuck#cat voice: yeah same what the fuck#shiro & sven: LANGUAGE
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sometimes im like "oh autism doesnt affect my pain tolerance that much" n then remember my braces journey barely hurt to the point i just thought everyone was being dramatic when they talked about the rewiring pain HAHA
and i literally had to have five teeth pulled in order to get the straight teeth that i have now LMAO and it wasnt just an easy 'only a couple crooked teeth nothing too drastic' no it was FIVE YEARS with braces if that gives u an insight on how bad it was lmfao
#okay my teeth werent terrible but there were definitely some ISSUES#my whole family has been cursed with the fucked up teeth genes lmao my mom literally had to have that headgear when she was little#me and my dad both had a tooth that basically dissolved (tooth came in crooked above into another and ate the root lol)#and my sister had a tooth that was basically burrowing UP towards her nose that had to be pulled down with a CHAIN#i dont think that autism pain tolerance thing is a highly researched or solidified topic but idc im using it anyway bc i believe it HAHA#im sure my brother had a weird tooth thing too but i dont remember LMAO but yeah we dont have a good track record...#me n my siblings were infamous to our orthodontist HAHA we went in and he was like 'ive literally never seen this happen before what'
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In me heart, Killer Frequency has like, 8 movies, 2 failed reboots, and a tv miniseries.
#the second movie sees henry tryign to somewhat adjust af6er marie stepped off whistling point.#He pulls an axel and ends up killing a buncha cops and shit to avenge marie#movie 3 sees marie return a la ft13 part 6. its very sexy. they go on a murder spree again and marie walks off into the mosty woods#while henry ia shot and left for dead.#movie 4 is full of red herrings and a mysterious figure turns out to be henry after he survived the shot. the duo reunite#movie 5 is the copycat killer thay is ultimately offed by marie and henry. henry is killed for real. undead marie is distraught#she goes on a rampage and gets exploded. the town thinks its all finally over#but henrys hand rises from a shallow grave in a post credits scene#movie 6 henry rolls up to exact revenge for his mom AGAIN this is probably where some of the kills have a sense of humour to them#movie 7 is the obligatory Whistling Man In Space movie. henry has been played by a wwe wrestler since movie 6#he shows.significant decay but turns out the alien nonsense suddenly made him powerful and idk brings back marie Again probably.#movie 8 was the crossover event slasher royale movie. marie and henry have an upper hand and emerge victorious.#the first reboot attempted to be super gritty and replaces forrest and peggy with college students with a campus radio program.#it was terribly received.#the second reboot attempted to place the focus on henry and made him the main murderer while saying he was possessed by a demon#this was one is widely considered to be the worst in the franchise.#the miniseries is a retelling of the original and is faithful to the source#its well appreciated for it even if critics said it was unimaginitive. the fans liked it bc it was clearly made for the fans.#why the FUCK have I put all these in the notes.#killer frequency#send help im so brain dill about this
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wip wednesday
Callebero had never hated anyone until he met the Capallan king. He had not known how much he did hate him until he saw the walls of the city rising from the sand, how that hatred could fill him like a scouring flame until he was sick on how much he wanted him to suffer. Devolt stood before him now, with grey curling in his hair and new wrinkles by his eyes and mouth, and Callebero felt—tired. Spent. He had had chances to kill the king before. He had not stayed his hand out of mercy or a sense of honor or nobility. First, when he took Tikana, Callebero had let him live because he would live the rest of his life with the weight of Callebero’s boot against his neck and he would not be made a martyr to rally his people in rebellion. Then, when he had attacked the camp, Callebero had spared him because Jisel, incomprehensibly, did not want her father to die. Catterik had been furious. He’d fumed, seethed, hissed out all the ways Jisel was implicated in the attack—her arrival the night before, the blood on her hands, the knife shoved in her belt. When Callebero did not sway in his decision, he’d subsided only because Callebero was Alir’s child and Catterik loved Alir.
sometimes Callebero takes after his mom in military focus and legacy and sometimes he takes after his mom by getting a military commander to fall hopelessly in love with him
#rip to alir you would have....really not known what to do with the person your child grew into#mostly bc she did not really conceive of him as a human so much as an extension of and opportunity for her legacy#*pats her head* much trauma many bad choices#wip wednesday#my writing#story: tcp#i think the funny thing about parents in tcp is that#for a long time#alir was like...a caricature of a terrible and absent mother#and then i was like no! she was a good mom actually she just got mcmurdered!!#and now it's like....she was loving and callebero remembers her with love and deep affection#remembers her AS a good mom#but in reality she was pretty fucked up and made many of her major life choices out of fear#which is realistically! not a great way to make decisions for anything#and that fear was passed down to callebero as this really narrow model of how he was allowed to live#in many ways callebero is the fulfillment of alir's legacy AND the subversion of it#bc even if she hadn't died in capall the way alir lived was sort of destined to end in tragedy
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Never try to be """"supportive"""" as my mother does
#she keeps reminding me I'm alone piece of shit#'you have to reach out of people instead of being so withdrawn'#this is fucking terrible because I do what I can FROM years and thanks for reminding me it all goes for nothing 👍👍👍#even if some people tolerate me I just feel like a spare part#it's always like there's a group of people who are great friends and honesty nothing really bad happens if I would dissapear#because I'm always like a passenger#my mom told me also that I'm going to be bitter old maid if I won't change#thanks I know it 👍 but I'm already old bitter maid lol#'I know you're in spectrum but even autistic people have friends and raise a family'#thanks for reminding me that even as autistic I'm unworthy peace of shit#yes I told her that I don't want to talk with her about all of this but she kept talking and made me feel even more terrible#and this is being 'SUPPORTIVE' according to her!!!#i want to fucking cry
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