#someone call cps on batman

[qcomicsy]

Me seeing another unhinged panel of Damian "doesn't this kid should be AT SCHOOL??????"

[brucewaynehater101]

Maybe CPS isn't called on Batman because everyone is too afraid of Robin.

Some out of towner: "And you're saying he just let's a child run around in short shorts to get shot at?" *scandalous gasp as they clutch their chest*

Gothamite: "Have you met Robin?"

OoT: "Well, no-"

Gothamite: "That ankle-biter giggles at the sight of teeth flying out of someone's mouth. He screeches for joy jumping off buildings, and he can pummel a 300 pound man with ease. I've seen him sass Joker to the point the clown cried."

OoT: "That's no reason to allow the chil-"

Gothamite: "Are you going to tell Robin he's not allowed to snap goon bones like glowsticks? Are you going to place bedtime restrictions on the sprite that can disappear while you're looking right at 'im?"

OoT: "Maybe I can't, but surely that Dark Knight man could-"

Gothamite: *sighs as they pour themselves a shot and proceed to empty their cup* "You think Batman hasn't tried?"

OoT: *splutters* "That's a child! Surely Batman could parent the y-"

Gothamite: *stares forlorn at the bottom of their cup* "That's no child. That's a demon critter from the dregs of death's realm."

[ririblogsss]

Oh

(This idea has been done before butttt I still wanna explore it)

What if instead of the JL believing that phantom is a ghost they just believe he is a very much overpowered meta with stereotypical ghost powers.

like in this AU, Phantom would have successfully gotten in contact the JL and got the GIW shot down, the JL thinking that the GIW were making false claims about a different species so they could experiment on metahumans with unique abilities. The Fentons works are under extreme watch and everything they do / want to research is heavily reviewed. Phantom ended up joining the Young Justice league.

So because JL assumed that Dannys 'ghost form' was just to keep his ID from being reveled, as no one would look for his real ideantity and if they did they would look at people who have died. Batman thought it was a genius strategy.

But then one of his teammates (im thinking either RR of Superboy) mentions that in all this time phantom hasn't aged a single bit

(I'm thinking that his ghost look never aged since he died, basically forever 14 in that form)

And Dannys brutally honest like "Of course I don't age im dead" while rolling his eyes.

And everyone stops and takes a full look at him really analyzing him.

And his teammate just has the loading screen on their heads and they just say: oh I thought that you that-

And they can't even complete a sentence cause their baffled.

And Dannys shrugs like it isn't a big deal: Yeah I've said this before, lab accident I died but came back. Anyways I have paperwork to do royal duties u know.

And he just leaves everyone to have a mental crisis over someone they knew died at such a young age and that they came back only to protect people.

Meanwhile Batman's over in the corner inputting 100s of questions into google

'Is it legal to adopt the ghost of a child'

'Can someone call cps on a families ghost'

'how to take care of ghosts 101'

'what do ghosts like'

'ghost customs'

[porto-rosso]

Any depiction of dicks time as robin is so wild because either everything will be fun and happy and chill and being Batman’s parter is awesome! or Bruce will be putting him through actual hell and someone needs to call cps right the fuck now and there’s NO in between

[saphrun]

Tim Drake HC if he never became robin

(Let's face it, no way he was normal. the brain rot is real)

He was thirteen when Jason died, and he was getting pretty concerned for Bruce, but also getting really off put by the violence becuase batman was never that violent

This pretty much culminates in THE INCIDENT

Tim isn't even taking pictures that night, he had after school detention, and because he knew gotham so well, was decently more muscular then the average person and very fast, he was taking his time

He watches batman almost kill someone. The man will never be able to walk again.

He calls the police, and continues hiding and following Bruce, because something was going on, and lets face it, he didn't really have any plans.

He doesn't know this, but lady shiva is in gotham, and doing the same thing

It turns out theres a villan AND hero intervention going on, where clark may or may not be guilt tripping bruce HARD into getting help

However, before Tim can trail him to the intervention, someone catches his eye

He's not that well dressed, Suit looks nice-ish, but the tie is obviously thrifted, and his watch is a little too good (classic signs of working for a gang, intimidation, spurts of money, clearly not knowing how to spend smart)

Tim decides that this is more important. Plus, what's he going to do tailing batman? Get caught while not even doing anything? No thank you

It turns out that guy worked falcon, and long story short, Tim ends up fighting a bunch of gang members in a wearhouse.

He takes out around half before, Oh lookie there, its batman, and he's rescheduled his intervention till the morning.

Tim is proper injured, a few good bruises and a couple generously bleeding cuts.

Then, because batman is fighting everyone in the warehouse, not just goons, because he doesn’t know what Tim is doing there, skewers him to the wall with a batarang.

Tim pretends to be knocked out but is going what the fuck batman inside his head

Shiva, who has been watching this entire encounter, and was very impressed by someone with little to no formal training goes and drops down menacingly from the rafters

She offers to train Tim and he's like sure ;-;

They go back to paris, and just to say, Tim's parents aren't just MIA. They straight up moved out of gotham and keep limated contact with tim, just making sure CPS doesn't get them into legal trouble

Tims fine with that too

So, in paris, Tim and lady shiva are kicking ass. Tim is learning to play dirty but also gains a strict code

He's very clear that he wont kill anyone, and that he believes keeping them alive is a sign of strength. that he wasn't so weak that killing them was his only option

They disagree but eventually Tim's pretty good at combat and Shiva sends him on his marry way (he beats her in a fight by drugging some food she ate four days prior and wouldn't set in until she was testing him)

Tim starts moonlighting league of assassins, just doing whatever really, and finds out the holly shit, Talia had a thing for bruce and his dead hero jason, brought jason back to life, send him and their secret love child to gotham, and also disrespected Ra's

He thinks shes so cool, and decides to drop by gotham, yk go home, throw in a public appearance with his parents, try the new zelda game

TURNS OUT HIS PARENTS DIE ON THE WAY OVER, ON HIS FOURTEENTH BIRTHDAY

What the flip man, says Tim, on live television, reading a text finding out his parents are dead.

He doesn't say what the text was about though, so the people of gotham make a twitter meme about some rando kid at a gala

The whole things kinda a disaster anyway, so its fine (its later known as The Gala of [insert year])

Dick Grayson just got back from traveling (space) and finds out Jason and Dami are alive/exist, and tries hiding in the back, ending up in the same room as Tim

_______________

"Why are you back here?" Dick Grayson asks the black haired kid sitting at the table, playing what looks like a knock off of neopets. "My parents just died." He says sagely, not looking up from his phone. Dick doesn't really know how to respond to that but ask more questions. "How- uh how did they die?"

Black haired kid shrugs.

[ailithnight]

A few notes:

I originally planned to have this one have a couple of povs like the first, but then u got carried away writing feral Danny so, just Tim today.

I hope to get the next one out sometime this weekend cause it's harder to write when I have work.

Also, everyone thank @cursedzucchini for writing the comment that gave me the executive function to take these words out of my brain and put them in my phone. Reading that there was someone out there checking the tag for updates every day really motivated me.

Now, without further ado

Chapter 1

A King in Arkham

Chapter 2

Tim sighs, rubbing his temples and attempting to will away the sleep deprivation headache currently pounding on the inside of his skull. Pushing 80 hours awake, the last 38 of which have been spent combing backwards through any and all Arkham documents pertaining to one Daniel James Fenton.

He moved his hands away from his head, placing them on the fresh cup of coffee that had materialized while he was massaging, giving a cursory "Thanks" the retreating body. Normally, Alfred would have cut Tim off from caffeine yesterday. But it seems even the old butler was keen on something being found to justify pulling the kid out of Arkham.

Or maybe that was Jason fueling Tim's addiction. Man had been hovering since Batman called him back at the last break out. At least Dick had been able to reason better with the most volatile of the Wayne siblings.

"Picking him up and running won't do either of you any favors, Little Wing. It'll just put him and Hood on wanted posters. If you want him to have any shot at a life out here, you gotta let Bruce take it through the proper channels."

That had at least prevented Jason from snapping on anyone immediately, though he had seen fit to warn everyone that of they didn't have something by the next break out, he'd be doing it his way.

Which is why Tim had spent the last day and a half poring over every medical record, therapy session, schedule, action report, and discipline slip Arkham had on file that even mentioned Patient 26B.

Meanwhile, Oracle had her hands full trying to find any background information on the young ward. A task which itself was proving challenging because the place the kid came from seemed to have no digital presence at all. None. Not a Facebook or Twitter or MySpace pinging from the area. Not an email address or YouTube account. Not a single god damned website. Not even a .gov! Hell, the only reason they knew the city's name is because it was listed in the CPS paperwork from Chicago.

In other places, small towns and communities in the middle of nowhere, this wouldn't really raise any red flags. But Amity Park was not actually a nowhere town. It certainly wasn't a Gotham or Metropolis. But it was big enough to have formed a conurbation with the nearby city of Elmerton. Which had a perfectly normal digital presence. So Amity Park's lack of digital presence screamed Communications Blackout. A frighteningly strong one to still be giving Oracle the run around almost 2 days later.

Once Tim was finished reviewing Arkham reports, then the 3 weeks of documents from Daniel's stay in Chicago, he'd probably offer to help her. Though she might tell him to go the fuck to sleep instead.

For now. Tim was nearing the beginning of the kid's Arkham stay and; on top of not yet finding any clues as to why the kid was in Arkham, nor anything that could possibly exonerate him; the kid just made no damn sense!

His therapy sessions were all the same dead end.

The therapist would ask he he was feeling. The kid would apparently shrug, or sometimes mumble something the therapists could never quite catch.

They'd ask the standard suicide questions. "Any thoughts of wishing you could go to sleep and not wake up?"

A shrug.

"Any thoughts of wanting to take your own life or wishing someone would take it for you?"

Vehenement refusal bordering on a panic attack.

Move on to the hurting people questions.

"Any thoughts of wanting to harm other people?"

"No." According to the doctors, his tone here is immediate, calm, confident. Truthful. If the Arkham psyches are to be believed.

"Any thoughts of wanting to harm yourself?"

"No." Slower, quieter, meeker. Noted as a clear lie, citing the injuries as evidence.

"Then why do you, Danny?"

"I don't."

"Then where did your injuries come from."

"The ghosts," said with a sigh

At this point, it seems Daniel shuts down. He says nothing else for the rest of the session. Shows no outward response as the therapist tries to convince him there are no ghosts and Daniel must be giving himself those injuries.

2 and a half months. Daily therapy sessions. And every single one is the exact same script. The only differences are some minor notes as Daniel is passed around between therapists as they all inevitably get frustrated talking to the emotionless block of ice.

Outside of the therapy sessions and medical reports documenting the frankly horrifying amount of injuries Danny accumulates, there's not much in his file. He follows all instructions to the letter; never causes trouble for guards or other inmates; and every single locks malfunction, he has afterward been found lying on his bed in his cell staring at the ceiling. If he was somewhere else when the malfunction happened, security footage catches him walking there himself. If he was already in his cell, footage keeps him there the whole time.

Tim sighs again, clicking out of the medical report detailing the nasty bruise that had appeared on the kid's lower left back, then opens up the next file up without reading the name fully expecting it to be another tedious therapy session report.

Instead, he finds a discipline slip with the relevant security clip embedded at the top. The first frame is of the cafeteria. Daniel is sitting alone at a table in the top right. Tim's breath catches in his throat as he recognizes the demented clown in the center of the frame. Hastily, he plays the clip.

There is no sound but Joker appears to say something to the room. Daniel is suddenly standing, whipped around to face the clown. The Joker turns towards him. Daniel tenses. The Joker tenses.

In the next second, Daniel is on the Joker. He's kicking, scratching, biting. Absolutely feral as he just reigns fury upon the most feared and hated rogue in all of Gotham. Surrounding inmates are fleeing to the sides of the room as the Joker seemingly tries to get away from the kid, only succeeding in moving the "fight" around the room. It's hardly a fight. More like a vicious, brutal assault. Inmates cheer as blood appears on the floor. Guards move in, pulling the feral 15 year old off of the Joker; who stays down, potentially unconscious. 2 guards go to help the one currently attempting to restrain Daniel. 6 more converge on the Joker, blocking him from view. As soon as he can no longer see the Joker, Daniel seems to go limp in the guards hands. Then he tenses again, though not struggling. Tim just catches the beginning stages of what seems to be a panic attack before the clip ends.

Tim stares dumbfounded at the screen for several moments. When he snaps out of it enough to actually read the incident report, it is a basic transcription of what Tim just witnessed with confirmation that Daniel had a panic attack immediately after. The report also notes that other than the panic attack, Daniel seemed to sustain no harm. He was disciplined with 3 days without cafeteria privileges, so his meals were brought to his cell, and 3 days without Crafts room privileges.

A note at the bottom of the report reads "To prevent further incidents, Patient 26B and the Joker are no longer permitted to be in the same room or yard."

This makes Tim click out of the discipline slip -without closing it, just moving it to a different section of the batcomputer's massive screen- and scan the rest of the files. There are 2 more. One from a week prior and one from Daniel's first dat at Arkham. He opens both, placing them at points on the screen so that all 3 are visible.

The one from the week prior shows the Crafts Room. Danny is again in an upper corner. Time plays it. The door opens. Joker walks in. Seems to look at Daniel, then rushes him. Daniel looks up before the Joker makes it half way across the room, then in the next second meets him there. Another feral fight only broken up by the guards when the Joker stops moving. Again, Danny goes limp as soon as the Joker is out of sight. The rest of the report confirming a panic attack but no injuries. 2 days lost privileges.

The report from Daniel's first day again shows the cafeteria. This time, Daniel is center frame. Joker comes up behind him. Daniel tenses but doesn't turn yet. Joker seems to be saying g something, then laughs. Daniel hunches in on himself, seeming to mumble a response. Whatever he said makes the Joker laugh harder. Then he leans down over Daniel's shoulder, talking. Daniel seems frozen for not even half a second before he suddenly pushes himself out of his seat, straight in to the Joker, twisting as he goes to begin the attack. Since it's obviously the first time, the rest of the cafeteria freezes. No one reacts for a solid 6 seconds. Then guards are moving in, hauling the teenager away. The Joker stands unsteadily then takes a knee. He has to be led limping out of the room. Guards struggle to restrain Daniel until the Joker is gone, whereafter Daniel goes boneless, then begins panicking. Report confirms panic attack and no injuries. 1 day lost privileges.

Tim stares at the batcomputer for several minutes, trying very hard to process what he has just learned. His brain feels like soup. He rubs his eyes, looks at his coffee, grabs a comm to put in his ear. His voice is strained as he speaks.

Anyone nearby who can come to the cave for a minute?

Jason responds instantly.

Upstairs. Find something?

I don't... know. I just. Someone come confirm I didn't just hallucinate what I just watched and read.

Red Robin? What did you find?

Not saying until someone else can confirm it.

Red Robin

On my way down.

.

"What the actual fuck?"

[hypewinter]

Ok Tim next: Now due to his upbringing, Timbo is an insecure little nugget. This leads him to surrounding himself with a less than ideal lot who basically just treat him as entertainment. There's a problem with this arrangement though. Tim is absolutely boring. Either he doesn't realize they're insulting him with backhanded compliments or he doesn't care. Plus it's not like they need his money or anything since all their parents are rich socialites too. This leads to Tim's "friends" slowly distancing themselves from him. Desperate to get them back, Tim unleashes his last trump card: he knows the secret identity of Batman and his gang.

Naturally the friends don't believe him because why would this tiny nerd know one of the most coveted secrets of Gotham? So Tim sets out to gather proof. He snaps pictures of the Waynes both in and out of uniform to prove that they really are the same people. This leads to him getting caught up in a rogue attack where he gets injured. Duke notices an injured civilian crawling into an alleyway and immediately goes over to help only to recognize the civilian as not only Tim Drake, the only son of the Drake family but also as the unknown nonthreatening presence that's been loosely following him and the others for the past few days. When Tim wakes up in the hospital with the Wayne children surrounding him, he thinks he's been caught and proceeds to babble out everything. As if that wasn't already concerning enough, Bruce can't get ahold of the Drake parents and even when he eventually does, they insist on finishing their dig site first... while their child is in the hospital. As you can imagine CPS is promptly called and before Tim can blink, he's now the Wayne family's new ward. Additionally seeing no reason to hide their identities, the Waynes let Tim into that Batcave whenever he wants (this leads to him helping out behind the scenes with Alfred).

As for Steph: Similar to Duke I'm not really changing much as her story takes place outside of the batfam. She ends up meeting Tim outside of school and they become friends. After noticing the tale tell signs of her being a vigilante as well as the others complaining about someone new running around Gotham, Tim puts two and two together and invites Steph to meet the family.

Alright who's next? Ah yes Jason: Bruce has met this tiny ball of rage multiple times as he often visits Jason's school for charity events. He immediately clocks Jason as not having a great home life and decides to keep an eye on him. Which is why Bruce is one of the first to know when Jason stops coming to school one day. He's also the one who pressures CPS to do a wellness check at the boy's home where they find no one. The address on file for Jason Todd is an old ratty apartment that has long since been empty and cold.

Bruce panics and immediately puts everyone on the look out for the kid. They're checking alleys, they're checking shelters, heck some of them even check the sewers (you never know). But Jason is nowhere to be found. After another night of fruitless endeavors Bruce tiredly makes his way back to the batmobile. It is only then that he notices in his desperate search for Jason that he parked in the one place in Gotham he avoided like the plague, Crime Alley. It is also in this place Bruce vowed never to near, that he sees Jason, trying to break into the batmobile. He almost cries with relief. Instead he carefully approaches the boy. It takes a long time (and a lot of bribes) to convince Jason to come with him to the police station. It takes significantly less time to get emergency custody of him. And it takes somewhere in the middle for Jason to warm up to the Wayne family. (While he does warm up to them, he does remain a little suspicious. Suspicious enough to find a clock in the study that leads to the batcave. This leads Jason to using practically every threat in the book to get himself added to the roster)

Part 1 Part 3

[onnahu]

Jason Todd Fanfiction

Tw: death, religious trauma, mentions of drugs, violence and homelessness

So yeah, I had a rough week, and on easter my religious trauma have the time of life, and I remembered that Jason canonicaly grew up catholic. So did I. It was easy from there. It's rough, not edited, and that's why it's for now only here, I'll get it on ao3 later, after some smoothing over.

When Catherine fell ill, she said 'it's a part of God's plan'.

Jason didn't really understood it then, he was 6, but he knew his mom was strong and smart and knew everything, so he agreed, and went play with his neighbours.

When the mony was tight, she took him to church and prayed. He kneelt beside her, but didn't really know what to do. He knew the Lord's Prayer, but it never felt right. It was hard to belive there was some big guy up there, that loved them, and yet made them live in an apartment with mold and non-airthight windows. It just seemd counterproductive. If you love someone, you should wsnt the best for them. Like his mom wanted the best for him. But his mom prayed, and his mom knew best, so he knelt beside her and prayed along.

When Willis got arrested, his mom said that god will help them. She said they should prey, and so they did. Jason thought it was stupid, but didn't said anything.

When Willis went to prison, his mom took him to the church, again, and told him to pray to god for help. He knelt beside her, but didn't prey. He knew there wasn't anyone there listening to him. And even if there was, he for sure didn't care for them.

When his mom got worse, and her medicine was too expensive, so she had to take the other 'medicine', she often sent him to aunty Mei next door. Jason knew what drugs were, and he wasn't stupid. He knew it didn't really help his mom, but so did her prayers, and drugs were at least real. And she wasn't in pain so much. That had to be enough. When his mom was too weak to get up on sunday, aunty Mei took him to the mass instead of her. He didn't tell his aunty that it was bullshit, because she would get angry and tell his mom, and his mom would be sad, because she still believed. So he went silently and on their way out he picked up a few dollars from the collection. If he had to be there, he would at least do something useful. It was always a little more to their budget, a little less of his mom's worry.

When his mom died, he cursed god out. He screamed and cried and sweared and he hated god, hated the world, hated his dad, hated his mom, hated all his aunties and uncles, and above all, he hated himself. When he was done, he packed up all the money left, his warmest clothes, a few photos he hidden in his favourite book, everything that looked like it was worth something, so he could sell it, soap, all the food that was left, a pack of cigarettes, his dad's old pocketknife and a tire iron. He stuffed it all in a dufflebag, and then knocked on aunty Mai's door. He told her that there was something wrong with mom. When she came into their apartment, he took off. She would call 911. He wasn't going to wait on CPS so he could be sold out or packed into some awful foster-home. He was better off alone. He always was.

In winter, he found himself in the church. It was warm, and he could be ther a whole hour of the mass. He got all the money from offerings, and later got himself a warm meal. Church wasn't that bad after all.

He was hiding from some thugs that didn't like him taking their tires. They shouldn't have left their van alone if they had a problem, Jason thought. They didn't like his argument and started to beat him up. He menaged to run away, and was hiding behind a dumpster. They were close. He could hear them. He started to pray. They didn't find him.

The next time he was hiding and started to pray, they found him and beat the shit out of him. He, once again, got reminder of why he could only rely on himself.

When he met Batman, and then Bruce, and then Batman as Bruce, he was happy. Fate finally smiled at him. He found out Bruce also belived on god, but it wasn't (or was? It was confusing) the same god his mom had. He didn't tell him that it was bullshit, because he wasn't stupid, thank you very much, but told him that he wasn't gonna belive in him. Bruce said it was alright, and that was it.

When he was laying on that werehouse's floor, watching the numbers fall, he heard Sheila praying. He didn't call her out on that bullshit, because honestly, he wanted to pray himself. Only she prayed to god, and he wanted to pray to Bruce. He knew it would mean jack shit, but it would be nice to believe someone was coming. He didn't pray. I stead, he got up and dragged his broken body towar Sheila. He positioned himself so he would take to most of the bomb's blow. It propably wouldn't save her, but he wanted to at least die doing something good. She didn't paid him any mind. She was still praying. When numbers on the display wen 3, 2, 1, she was still praying. She died with pray on her lips. He died with the bitter flavor of dissapointment, pain, resignation and hate on his lips. He never heard the batmobile's engine so close to him. He never heard the broken-hearted scream of a grieving father.

When he woke up in his coffin six feet under, he thought two things. First, that if god really exist, he must really hate Jason. Second, he also has a sick sense of humor. To be honest, if he wasn't already screaming, maybe he would laugh too.

[redrobin-detective]

Hi!

So I know you're into lockwood now more than Batfam, but I found a short fic I thought you would enjoy?

here is summary:

Bruce’s plan was simple; let Dick run around as Robin for a few nights on the safest patrol routes, and wait until someone reported Batman to CPS. The plan went off the rails immediately, then careened off the tracks and exploded in a ditch.

Lessons (Never) Learned by raven_of_hydecastle

have a nice day!

Omg that sounds so fun. I've put it in my MFL. Its so funny when people try to call CPS on batman

[cherryblossomsandhydrangeas]

Sk8 Rewatch Ep5

Listen, I know Sk8 is just twelve episodes, put I would like one hospital scene where an adult confronts either Shadow, Cherry, Joe, or Oka on how they know these children. Am I supposed to believe that two high schoolers - one who is bleeding from his head- and a middle schooler showing up with a man in spandex kiss crop top costume in the middle of the night raises no alarms? No parents were called? The cops? CPS? Nothing?

Oh no Reki’s having nightmares 🥺🥺🥺

Langa baby, I know Adam’s wearing some type of cologne or pheromone that attracts you and Cherry to him like flies to rotten meat, but please just listen to Reki.

Just shoot him, Kiriko. Do it. I know you have good aim, just DO IT! (I hate that this show is making me root for a cop)

Repent and Make Amends “Everyone makes mistakes, however they should be able to come back from them.” Adam didn’t deserve you Cherry, not your love or your friendship, and I wish everyday I could tell you that to your face.

Kaoru is actually a lot more helpful in these episodes than fanon remembers. Probs gonna make a post about it, among other things.

Sketchy!❤️❤️❤️

God there are so many words I have to say about Adam’s and Cherry’s relationship, some are actually positive if you can believe it. Others are...well you know how I feel about Adam.

Reki’s old friend 🥺🥺🥺

Langa: Even if I get injured I won’t quit skateboarding. Me: I mean, if he breaks your spine you won’t really have a choice.

Still getting ready in the car like batman. Tadashi has to watch this man strip every time they go to S. Even Alfred didn’t have to deal with bullshit like that.

Langa, that picture falling is your father telling you not to skate against the pedophile. I know you won’t listen, but I just wanted to tell you.

This asshole brought a mile long red carpet, I hate him. Also red roses have more than one meaning. (Yes I’m being pedantic on purpose.)

Cherry: You’re the one who parted ways from us first. Adam: Is that so? Me: Yes, them being angry and disappointed in you tossing people off cliffs is not betrayal. Also, considering that they didn’t believe the rumors until they saw that shit with their own eyes, no they didn’t betray you.

I’m gonna make a post about Langa’s and Cherry’s mentor & student relationship cause it’s actually pretty rad.

Adam: Did someone give you hints? Adam (In his head): I see you’ve been talking to my ex.

And I’m sick again. Props to animators, I can actually see Adam pressing his crotch against Langa as he tries to push him away. A+ job on making the vilest motherfucker.

I’m gonna make a post about how Adam changes goal posts when it comes to characters and how he both overestimates, underestimates, and assumes things about everybody.

Love how the lights go out when Adam’s doing his little “True Eve” tap dance. Shows his demonic abilities also work with electricity.

This man is really walking about in a skintight bodysuit with no ass. I’ve seen pancakes with more volume.

[brucewaynehater101]

i just got an idea 🤩 Tim Drake is a villain, but he's like Dr. Doofenshmirtz!

Batman: *caught in a Batman-sized trap*

Tim: Ah, Bruce Wayne the Batman! About time you arrived! Look at what I have created!

Tim: *shows his skateboard contraption* TAH-DAH! I call this "The Red-Board 3000!" It took me 3000 tries to finally create a successful one. It runs on Joker Gas, and goes about as fast as Mach 4!

Bruce: Hrn.

Tim: Tsk-tsk-tsk, Bruce Wayne the Batman. You must be wondering why I made this. Well, it all started when I was 5 years old. My parents left me alone in a jungle and forgot about me.

DO YOU SEE MY VISION?!?!?

I do!!!!!

Might I add:

Tim becomes a villain because someone told him he needed therapy. He didn't really like that idea until he saw the Riddler monologuing to Batman about his bullies. That, unfortunately for everyone else, inspired Tim.

Sitting down and talking to a stranger who is also required to report child abuse? Nah. His parents aren't great, but he likes the freedom and doesn't want to end up in Gotham's CPS.

So, Tim "goes to therapy" every other week, or traps ones of the Bats and vents about his life to them. It's perfect for him.

He spends about a week setting up his schemes, outfits, lighting, and therapy plan. Then, he lures one of the Bats into the designated place. His favorite is Batman.

He loves watching their faces constantly switch between annoyed and concerned. Tim, who has a secret villain identity, is obviously a child. He's spouting true (but untraceable) facts about his life that are concerning as fuck. Bruce is going out of his mind trying to capture Tim to get him some real help.

The one aspect Tim always ensures he has is the ability to get away. He'll give the Bats a way to foil his plots and disappear while they do so.

So, Tim enjoys coming up with very real but ridiculous ways to destroy/take over the world and threatening the Bats with it. Could Tim actually succeed as a villain? Yes. However, that would make him a higher priority to capture. That's also not the reason he's does any of it either.

Now... does he get along with Riddler? Debatable. On one hand, they both have traps and stuff. They could bond and help each other (or test each other). On the other hand, Riddler might see Tim as competition or that Tim is making fun of him.

Catwoman likes Tim, though.

[quitepossiblybamboozled]

watching Teen Titans is just. who let these children live on their own. who let them fight crime. where is Batman. where is Alfred. I refuse to believe that they cosigned this. a bunch of high schoolers living alone in a giant tower, not attending classes at all, no adult supervision whatsoever. girl that's neglect!!!!! someone call CPS please these kids need someone to look after them I'm so serious

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Debt collecting is a dangerous job

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/lmW7t2r

by Pie_pie

That was the last time he’d ever do a favor for someone else: damn debt collector and shitty clients who can’t pay back their money. Who the fuck takes out a 2 million loan without any way to pay it back and why the fuck did they give him the 2 million.

Now he’s the bad guy and some 13-year-old girl with the biggest gap known to humanity randomly rushes at him and everything goes black.

Now here he was, some crying baby beside him, and what appeared to be a room full of weirdos in green robes bowing down to them. He couldn’t move his damn body and no noise would come out of his mouth.

Life sucked ass

(AU where Chuuya is reborn as Damian Wayne's younger twin brother. He quickly comes to the conclusion that this needs to be everyone's problem)

Words: 2131, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 文豪ストレイ��ッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs, Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Clark Kent, Diana (Wonder Woman), Jonathan Kent, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Talia al Ghul, Ra's al Ghul, Mara al Ghul, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Wally West, Selina Kyle, Port Mafia Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Relationships: Dick Grayson/Wally West, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe - Crack, Nakahara Chuuya-centric (Bungou Stray Dogs), Protective Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe, Assassin Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Protective Talia al Ghul, Chuuya has blue eyes, Talia lowkey delusional, it's okay Chuuya still loves her, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Protective Dick Grayson, Protective Tim Drake, Misunderstandings, cps is called at least 20 times at one point, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, big brother privileged Damian, Nakahara Chuuya Is So Done (Bungou Stray Dogs), Chuuya cusses like a sailor, Chuuya is named Bruce in this world, Barely anyone calls him that, except for Damian and Talia cause they have rights

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/lmW7t2r

[ao3feed-birdflash]

Debt collecting is a dangerous job

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/dquD6hf

by Pie_pie

That was the last time he’d ever do a favor for someone else: damn debt collector and shitty clients who can’t pay back their money. Who the fuck takes out a 2 million loan without any way to pay it back and why the fuck did they give him the 2 million.

Now he’s the bad guy and some 13-year-old girl with the biggest gap known to humanity randomly rushes at him and everything goes black.

Now here he was, some crying baby beside him, and what appeared to be a room full of weirdos in green robes bowing down to them. He couldn’t move his damn body and no noise would come out of his mouth.

Life sucked ass

(AU where Chuuya is reborn as Damian Wayne's younger twin brother. He quickly comes to the conclusion that this needs to be everyone's problem)

Words: 2131, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs, Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Clark Kent, Diana (Wonder Woman), Jonathan Kent, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Talia al Ghul, Ra's al Ghul, Mara al Ghul, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Wally West, Selina Kyle, Port Mafia Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Relationships: Dick Grayson/Wally West, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe - Crack, Nakahara Chuuya-centric (Bungou Stray Dogs), Protective Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe, Assassin Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Protective Talia al Ghul, Chuuya has blue eyes, Talia lowkey delusional, it's okay Chuuya still loves her, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Protective Dick Grayson, Protective Tim Drake, Misunderstandings, cps is called at least 20 times at one point, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, big brother privileged Damian, Nakahara Chuuya Is So Done (Bungou Stray Dogs), Chuuya cusses like a sailor, Chuuya is named Bruce in this world, Barely anyone calls him that, except for Damian and Talia cause they have rights

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/dquD6hf

[askrockandfriends]

"All right, since I'm apparently the butt of every joke in this election, lemme show you why everyone else is unelectable. Then you'll see why I'm the best candidate for the job."

"First there's Luigi... what do you even do? In both elections you've been in, you've just talked nonsense and done nothing else of note, yet the people can't just can't get enough of you, it seems! What even are your political positions?!"

"And there's Waluigi... dude, you can't even get into Smash Bros, let alone the office of the presidency. And for the love of God, run on a platform other than 'I hate Luigi, vote for meee'! You're literally only popular as a meme, not as an actual character. You're not that important, dude. Deal with it."

"Aqua's a moron who just drinks and cries all the damn time. I'd destroy this country because I want to, she'll destroy it simply because of her stupidity and irresponsible decision-making. No, you can't just throw explosion magic or Kazuma at every problem you face, girl! Solve your own damn problems for once in your life! Or is that too much for a so-called 'goddess'?"

"Homer Simpson. Oh my god. Homer Simpson. What's there to say about this fat oaf other than do you really see this idiot running a whole damn country? He can't even get his own family in order, the hell's he gonna do about an entire country? Not to mention giving him the nuclear codes and then pissing him off is a recipe for disaster. I'm honestly surprised his son can still breathe with all the times Homer's gotten mad and strangled him half to death... can someone please call CPS on this fat bastard and get it over with? Either way, Homer's a fat, dumb, irresponsible, and emotionally immature oaf who should be nowhere near any kind of political office. *mocking* D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!"

"Okay, can we not stand here and pretend Giovanni's not only interested in exploiting the office of the presidency for his own personal gain? It's just like anything else he's ever done in his life. Pokemon, running a Gym, Team Rocket, now running for president... all just things done in the name of making money. I'm sorry, did we not learn from Wario four years ago about people only being interested in money? Not to mention, as an NPC puts it, 'Team Rocket will do anything for the sake of money. There's no job too dirty, no deed to heinous, no crime too wicked.' I guarantee you crime will skyrocket under Giovanni, and it'll be spurred on by Giovanni himself!"

"Edelgard. Three words: War. Fucking. Monger. Hope you like the idea of the country being in a never-ending war for five years or more, because that's what you're gonna get with this conqueror wannabe. And the worst part is, it'll all be because of HER vision of what the country should be, so if you like our nation's people being drafted into an endless war they might not even believe in and making Vietnam look tame by comparison, by all means, vote for this crazy Albino bitch to be your next president."

"Which brings us to Batman... oh, boy, here we go. Batman. What's there to say except if you're half as 'just' as you think you are, then why are your enemies always escaping Arkham Asylum and terrorizing Gotham whenever they see fit? Doesn't sound very 'just' to me. Sounds like the work of a guy who's incompetent at best and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit and only wants to look like a hero for justice at worst. You want to be just, Batty-boy? How about locking your enemies in a place OTHER than Arkham Asylum, and maybe, just maybe, turning yourself into Arkham, because you clearly have some unresolved issues that are feeding into your bat persona, Batman!"

"Yami Yugi... okay, exactly what are you planning to do in office besides play cards all day? Because newsflash: that's not the be-all-end-all way to solve every problem you think it is, dude. Eventually, you're gonna have to do something else to solve a problem, and will you even be ready or willing to do that? And can someone explain to me the relationship between Yugi and his counterpart Yami Yugi? Because there's something about a millenia-old spirit living in the mind/body of a high school student that's just giving me major ick vibes... come to think of it, I didn't even mention whatever's going on with Batman and Robin, did I? That's another one that's worth a few questions at the very least... mind explaining that to me, you two? Because these can be some pretty serious accusations if you let them get too out of control..."

"And that's why the other candidates suck, and you should vote for me, Junko Enoshima, for president in 2024."

JUNKO 2024

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

You are ENTIRELY correct, I cut a whole ass unpacking of that shit out cause I did not have the spoons for it at the time. But now... MUAHAHAH I HAVE THE POWER; I HAVE THE SPOONS!

Here's the panels:

Batman (1940) #410

Here's him having the same discussion with Alfred:

Batman (1940) #410

He's the rest of Dick prying the real reasons out of Bruce during their argument:

Batman (1940) #416

An incredibly important question to ask here is: Does Bruce, at any point, give Jason the clear option to just be his kid and go to school instead of being Robin? Because that was super an option available to him! He could have just raised Jason and not had him be Robin!

And no. No he fucking doesn't. Correct me if I'm wrong but I cannot recall a single spot where that is given to him as an option. Even if it was, it seems pretty self evident to me that Batman has never made room in his life for kids that aren't also his crime fighting partners, and it would be pretty weird to assume that Jason wouldn't feel like he needs to be Robin in order to have Bruce's care and attention. Certainly Dick wound up with - in his own estimation - no life outside of being Bruce's partner.

Batman (1940) #416

So we have baby Jason's logic here of "No where else in the whole wide world is safe for me to go. I'm better off supporting myself as a thief than with CPS, and I'm better off as Robin than homeless or supporting myself as a thief."

And we have Bruce's rationalizations here of "He's been neglected and living on his own, and being Robin is better than being homeless so... it's FINE to put this new kid in danger!!! Cause he's tough :) And I really miss my partner in crime fighting :("

So really and truly, Jason is put into the Robin role because he is poor and his health and safety are considered less important because of that. Like you can not get around the fact that Jason's poverty is the excuse being used to endanger his life for the emotional benefit of an adult. He even pretends like Jason's not really a child because he grew up impoverished and neglected! And it is explicitly textually stated that those are false excuses to prop up his desire for a partner after he kicked his previous partner out!

AAAAHHHHHH!

I'd like to next call to attention the parallel between Oliver Queen's treatment of Mia Dearden when she kills someone and Bruce Wayne's treatment of Jason Todd after whatever happened with Felipe.

Oliver Queen takes full responsibility as the adult mentor in the situation and considers it a tragedy that is on all levels his fault. In his eyes, she should never have been put in that situation to begin with.

Green Arrow (2001) #39

Green Arrow (2001) #40

He comforts her immediately and hugs her, even though clearly he wanted to find a way that didn't involve death, and probably doesn't think it was necessary! The human warmth and compassion Oliver shows her is startling to see after reading Batman's treatment of Jason because...

Bruce Wayne in stark contrast does not treat Jason like he's his responsibility or his child; he treats him as if he's a full adult who doesn't need a parental figure at all. Thus Jason is treated as guilty of a crime, and given suspicion and pushed away.

Batman (1940) #425

Batman (1940) #425 - as a side note, this is basically the last thing that happens before Jason dies, so like, just take a moment to drink in the fact that Bruce is telling Jason that a vengeful murderous father is simply the inescapable consequence of killing someone's son. I will literally never be over this.

By this point in the story, Bruce has put Jason in so many situations that no child should have to witness on the truly fucked up grounds that Jason's already been through so much with no thought to trying not to add to that load. Bruce is absolutely, as his father and caregiver and mentor, equally (if not more) responsible for Felipe's fate than Queen was for Mia's killing of the summoner.

The thing is though, Bruce doesn't want a CHILD to nurture, he wants a PARTNER to fight crime with, and he is eminently willing to ignore a child's well-being in order to treat them as a partner.

That, I think, is ultimately what kills Jason.

Too Dangerous for Kids

So, recently I had reason to go back and read Jason's post-crisis debut comic Batman (1940) #408 and it clicked really hard that basically the central theme of Jason becoming Robin was that Robin was too dangerous a job for kids. Before he becomes Robin, Dick got injured, badly, by the Joker, and Batman swore to never endanger another child like that, which is the reason Dick stops being Robin at all

Batman (1940) #416

And I'm friggin realizing now that the posing in Death of the Family is straight up a mirror to this scene of Dick having been shot?? I'm losing my mind???

Batman (1940) #408

Like, look at this in universe magazine shot with this talk on the radio compared to Bruce holding Jason and tell me this was not deliberate????

Batman (1940) #408 and Batman (1940) #428

And THIS TALK?????

Batman (1940) #408

I just... HMMMM, idk there's something very fascinating to me that the theme of 'this is too dangerous for kids' has been there in Jason since day zero.

It also makes me sympathize a lot with poor Dick who got fired "cause it's too dangerous for a kiddo out there", when he was no longer a child, and then WHAT DOES BRUCE HAVE WITH HIM NOT EVEN A YEAR LATER?!

Batman (1940) #416

He's devastated by the realization there's a new Robin, then harsh and critical of the new Robin because he's sure they're gonna screw up and get hurt

Batman (1940) #416

Not because he wants his old job back

Batman (1940) #416

Despite his misgiving about the mantel being passed on at all, at the end of it, he still gives Jason his respect and acceptance into the role

Teen Titans (2003) #29

And this has such fascinating parallels to Jason's reaction to finding out there's a new Robin after him!

Red Hood: The Lost Days #4

He is devastated by the realization there's a new Robin, then attempts to brutally dissuade the new Robin from keeping the mantel because he's sure they're gonna screw up and get killed

Teen Titans (2003) #29

Not because he wants his old job back

Teen Titans (2003) #29

Despite his misgiving about the mantel being passed on at all, at the end of it, Tim still has his respect, and perhaps even his acceptance into the role, although he was far too violent about it to actually properly give the role over like Dick did for him.

Teen Titans (2003) #29

Neither of them have a petty, jealous reaction of you replaced me, but instead have a tangled mess of "I was sloppy, I wasn't good enough, I got hurt, and now you put an even less prepared child in the line of fire?!" Jason is wildly more violent about it, but at the core I feel like the sentiments are the same, and it kinda makes sense because really the end of their times as Robin were very similar to each other, just Jason's was wildly more violent!

I can't help but wonder if maybe part of Jason's reasoning somewhere along the line was "Now I finally get why Dick was so harsh on me back then." And... honestly I don't think it is. Cause while it would make sense it just doesn't seem to be a parallel either of them is conscious of.

It's just this fascinating set of reflections neither one seems to see.