#cain giving robert a day to come clean to aaron

[bobbie-robron]

What’s the point in making him think about a life sentence when it might not even happen?

27-Aug-2019

[steddieonmywaywardson]

Aaron Dingle Week Day 5

In which Aaron is saved. 

tw - mentions of domestic abuse, nothing graphic though

Prompt - “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy”

“Aaron?” 

Aaron feels the bile rise in his throat. His heart pounds in his chest. He dodges behind the nearest gravestone. He has no idea how long he’d been out here. It could’ve been hours. It’s pitch black in the areas not illuminated by the street lights and he’s hoping that the cover of darkness will provide ample opportunity to hide. He doesn’t know where he’s going. He just needs to get away. 

“Aaron!?” 

Aaron closes his eyes and wills him to give up. He’s heard him calling his name from all directions and he still hasn’t shown any signs of going away. He’s so bloody loud Aaron wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up the entire village. He draws his knees to his chest and hides his face in them. He didn’t, didn’t, didn’t want anyone else to know. Once they got involved, Paddy, his Mum, Uncle Cain...no. He just didn’t want to think about it. He couldn’t do it to them. Couldn’t shatter their illusions. He was happy...he was happy…he was happy…

The voice fades away. It sounds as if he’s going back by the village hall in the opposite direction. Aaron takes this opportunity to get to his feet and run out of the cemetery towards Hotten Road. He has no idea where he’s going. There’s no buses this time of night. But he has to get away. He can’t be around him another minute. He needs to breathe again. He’s been waiting for the other shoe to drop for so long now and tonight it did. Worse than it’s ever been before.

He charges out into the road, doesn’t see the car until he’s right in its path. The headlights are like two blazing suns, blinding him. His feet take root in the tarmac and he can’t move. The car moves towards him, closer and closer. Aaron closes his eyes again because maybe, just maybe, this is better for everyone. 

“What the hell!? Aaron!?” 

Arms around him. Pulling him. Moving him. The roots are broken. Someone sits him down. 

“Aaron?” He feels a hand on his shoulder. He flinches away from it. “What’s happened to you? You’re freezing!”

He can’t reply. The words won’t come. He wants to reach out but he just can’t. 

“Look, we’re going to drive ok? we’re going to go somewhere quiet, somewhere safe and then we’re going to work this all out. You just sit back and try to relax for now,” 

Safe. 

That’s what he thought he was. Only he was wrong. Like so many things before it, he’s messed it up.

The car is moving again but he doesn’t take in any of the sights around him. He has no idea where he’s going but he can’t bring himself to care. He just needs to be away from the village, away from him. He’s so tired, he can’t remember the last time he slept at night. He’s been falling asleep at random times lately. He’s just so exhausted all the time. The gentle movement of the car doesn’t help. The warmth. The comfortable seat. He closes his eyes…

“Aaron? Aaron? wake up…” 

A gentle shaking. Aaron’s eyes snap open. He’s tied down to something. He tries to get free but he’s clumsy, unco-ordinated..

“Hey, hey, it’s just the seatbelt. Come here, let me get it,” 

The pressure across his chest is released and he can breathe again. He looks to his right to see who his saviour is. 

“Robert?” 

“Aaron, what the hell is going on here?” Robert asks. He looks terrified and worried all rolled into one. “Look, it doesn’t matter right now. We need to get you inside ok?” 

Aaron looks out through the windscreen. The large, looming building, the bright lights. Hotten General. 

“No, no! Robert! please. I can’t go in there,” Bile rises in his throat again. 

“You need to, you’re obviously hurt,” Robert replies. “We need to get you checked out,” 

“Robert I can’t! You don’t understand! what if he’s in there? he’s clever. He’d check. And even if he’s not, he’ll find out. Someone will tell him. Please Robert. I can’t.” 

“Are you talking about Alex?” Robert asks. He’s still looking worried but now he seems more confused. He stares at him, searching his face until finally he gets it. “Wait, he did this to you?” He adds incredulously. Robert’s eyes are on his chest and stomach now. Aaron looks down. He was topless apart from an unzipped hoodie. Red blossoms are all over his torso, some are already deepening to blue, the worst ones already purple. He quickly pulls the hoodie around him, fumbling fingers pulling at the zip. He can’t bring himself to reply so he closes his eyes and gives the slightest nod. 

“Shit Aaron. How long has this been going on?” 

“Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy Robert. And you are. You did some terrible things but...you never...you wouldn’t...they all think he’s a hero. But he’s...please. Don’t make me go in there,” 

“We still need to get you checked out,” Robert says, his jaw is set and Aaron knows he’s already thinking about how he can get back at Alex. “I’ll drive you into Leeds. We’ll go to St James’-”

“No hospitals. I’ll be fine. It...it looks worse than it is. I’ve been in enough fights over the years to know. Just...just...drop me off at a hotel or something,” 

Robert doesn’t reply. Instead he starts the car and backs out of the parking space. He continues to drive wordlessly, an unreadable expression on his face. Aaron wants to stay awake but he finds it’s hard. Now that he’s calmed down a bit, he can feel the pain in his ribs and stomach. He’s tired. So tired. He wishes they could just stay like this forever. Driving into the night endlessly. He rests his forehead on the window and tries to ignore the pain.

Robert stops the car about twenty minutes later in the car park of some sleazy looking B&B. Aaron gets out of the car and he expects Robert to drive away because they’re not together anymore. They’re not even friends. Robert owes him nothing. But the car doesn’t start up again. He gets out as well. 

“Well it’s not The Ritz but I don’t think we’re going to get any better this time of night,” 

Aaron wants to argue. To tell Robert to go home. But he just can’t find it in himself to protest. Robert leads the way into the grubby little foyer and books a room for the night. He hands over his credit card and signs a couple of pieces of paper and is handed a key in return. Aaron follows behind as they climb a couple of staircases and turn into a hallway with a musty smell and a threadbare carpet. Robert unlocks the door nearest to them and gently ushers Aaron inside. 

It’s a small room with two single beds, a TV attached to the ceiling, a chest of drawers and a little bathroom to their right. The wallpaper is old and slightly yellowed with age. Robert leads him to one of the beds and sits him down. The sheets at least look clean. Robert busies himself at the dresser. There’s a little kettle on the top with some paper cups and various teabags. He watches as Robert makes a cup of tea, dumping a couple of sugars in it. 

“I know you don’t take sugar but it’s meant to be good for shock,” he explains when he hands him the paper cup. He sits down on the next bed. The room is so small their knees almost touch. “Are you ready to tell me what happened?” 

“He just gets angry sometimes,” Aaron mutters with a shrug. “It started after he moved in, I dunno...everyone thinks he’s so good for me and I didn’t want to admit that I messed up again. That��” he feels tears come to his eyes. “I let someone else hurt me again…” 

“Hey, hey,” he feels a hand on his knee. “You never let any of that stuff happen ok? it’s not your fault. We’re going to sort this out. We’re going to get him out of your flat and you’ll never have to see him again. I’m not going to make you go to the police if you don’t want to but I’m not going to let you go back there,” 

“How?” Aaron asks shakily. He can feel himself beginning to tremble now. He has to put the cup down. He’s kept this a secret for weeks now and letting it all out feels like letting out a breath he’s been holding for too long. Another wave of exhaustion hits him. 

“I don’t know, but we’re going to work it out. You’re not alone ok? I’m going to help in any way that I can,” Robert says reassuringly. 

“We’re not even together anymore,” Aaron says sadly. He just wants to sink back onto the pillows and fall asleep. He’s got no fight in him. 

“You look knackered,” Robert replies. “Why don’t you try and get some kip? We’ll sort something out in the morning. I don’t know what yet but we will,” 

Aaron doesn’t argue when Robert pulls back the sheets and gently pushes him down. As soon as his head hits the woefully thin pillow, he can feel his eyes closing. He feels the sheets being carefully pulled over him and the last thing he hears is Robert’s whispered promise that he won’t leave him tonight. 

****

Robert watches as Aaron sleeps fitfully, tossing and turning in the narrow bed. He aches to wrap his arms around him and hold him close like he used to when the nightmares plagued him before. Instead he remains content with watching over him as he tries to kill the time by reading on his phone. 

He doesn’t know what they’ll do next but he does know that Dr Alex is going to regret ever laying a finger on Aaron Dingle. 

[susieskinner93]

Day 3 for robron week 2020

Seb has a plan for a house party, while his dads are away but can he manage to keep it a secret, or are his dads a step ahead already?

“Daddy said dinner's almost ready.” - said Jacob wandering into Seb's room without knocking. It made him jump. Some might say he had a guilty conscience.... or he was up to no good at least.

“Okay, tell them I'll be down in a few.” - he told his brother while he held his phone away from his ear. The little boy remained standing in the doorway though. - “Off you go.” - told him Seb.

“What are you doing?” - he asked curiously.

“Nothing. Now go!” - he said again, and kept looking at him until he turned around and left.  - “You're still there mate?” - he whispered quietly on the phone. He was a 15 year old lad, who thought he could do anything, that he was a grown up, and most importantly that he could have a house party in the Mill without his dads noticing. He had everything planned out. He knew his dads anniversary – one of many – was on the horizon, and he thought getting them a gift card, and offering to babysit his siblings will do the trick. The thought of having two 5 year olds in the house while there's a party going on.... yeah he hasn't thought that far ahead. He wasn't totally stupid though. He knew opening the booze cabinet at home would lend him in big trouble, so he didn't even want to try. He had to find an alternative. - “No, you know I can't touch that stuff. They'd notice.” - he said still whispering. - “Yeah mate because you'd dare to do it with Cain.” - he laughed. - “Isaac, it's not an option.” - he told him. Isaac obviously didn't like the idea of getting his own share if he wanted to drink.

“You said you told everyone to get some.” - he did. He wanted to impress his friends without looking like a loser who can't even get alcohol for his own party, so he came up with the idea of a private party, with limited guests only, and for them to come in, they had to bring the goods themselves.

“Yeah, but we need to have a few just in case.”

“What about the pub?”

“Because you can steal when Charity's on watch?”- asked Seb. Ever since Chas stepped down from running the pub, Charity took over, and she watched the kids like a hawk. Rumor has it she caught Noah nicking a few bottles back in the days... neither of them wanted to get on Charity's bad side.

“Then what?” - asked Isaac. For a few seconds they were quiet... thinking. Then Seb shouted giving Isaac a heart attack.

“AHA!”

“God, you had to do that.” - he whined rubbing his ears. - “What?”

“Remember when we were up at the scrapyard like 2 weeks or so ago? And Jimmy was on about how he has a secret little stash in the cabin?”

“So? You wanna nick that?”

“Yeah. He won't remember how many he's had. Dead easy.” - he said proudly.

“And you can get the keys?”

“Sure, Dad always keep them in his jacket.” - he smirked.

“Which one?”

“Aaron.”

“And you can get it without him noticing?”

“Yeah, he's not gonna bring them to that fancy weekend away is he?”

“Ahh!!” - said Isaac realizing. - “So your plan worked then?”

“Yeah, they didn't want a fuss, but I told them they could do with a holiday.” - he smirked. - “It's their last chance for a long time so, I told them they shouldn't miss it.”

“Nice one mate.”

“Okay, I'm gonna go, I still have to figure out what to do with the twins.”

“Good luck mate. Can I call around then? To get the date fixed?”

“Yeah. Next Saturday, around 8.” - he said before they hung up.

Seb was grinning all day, thinking about his master plan. He tried to act cool at dinner, then helped cleaning up, played with the twins, and went to his room. Aaron and Robert stayed downstairs, after the little ones went to sleep, talking about the day they had.

“When are we going to tell him that we know everything?” - asked Robert. Aaron just raised his eyebrows trying to pretend he doesn't know what his husband was on about. - “The Seb situation?” - he clarified. - “He's not exactly a criminal mastermind.” - he laughed.

“Come on Robert, he's just a kid.”

“No, he's 15 and he wants to throw a party, without our permission.” - of course they knew.

“It's not like we didn't do stuff like that.”

“Do I need to remind you what teenage lads do in parties like this? Do you wanna be a granddad already?” - he asked being overdramatic. Aaron just glared at him, not taking it seriously. - “That's not the point anyway.What about the twins? You expect me to leave them in the house when he wants to bring god knows how many people here? And I haven't even started on the booze.”

“He knows how to handle himself.”

“Yeah.” - he said knowingly – “Don't think I don't know about that pint you smuggled out for him last week.”

“What? I didn't.” - said Aaron being offended. Robert was right though. Their son might have had a sip or two from their beer, but at least he did it when they were there, watching, and they talked about it as well. However Robert wasn't about to take responsibility for 20 other kids. - “It's not necessary him I'm worried about.” - he added  - “I can't believe you're this calm about this.” - he said shaking his head. Aaron turned in his seat to look at him, smirking.

“You're so easy to wind up.” - he laughed. - “Course I won't let him do it. He's 15 Robert, he can't turn the place upside down. Especially with the twins here.”

“So what?”

“We stay at home?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you can be convincing, we'll say you don't feel well.”

“Oi, why is it has to be me?” - he asked pouting.

“Because you love when people are jumping around you, fulfilling your wishes.” - smiled Aaron knowing him too well.

“What about our holiday?” - asked Robert frowning.

“We go some other time.” - shrugged Aaron and saw Robert letting out a huge sigh.

“Before the little one is here? I don't think so.” - told him Robert. - “We said this is the last time we could be together before the madness starts over.”

“Okay, I have an idea.” - said Aaron  - “Not sure you're gonna like it but...”

“Does it allow me to get my hands on you all weekend without worrying about this place?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I don't care.” - he said and Aaron just grinned at him.

“Remember how the holiday club closed because of renovation or summat like that and kids don't have a place to go?”

“Yeah?” - asked back Robert already sensing what this will be about.

“They could have the holiday club here, and we could ask Vic to move in for the weekend, keeping an eye on the place....”

“And Seb would have to call off the party.” - finished Robert.

“And you can get your hands on me.” - grinned Aaron coming closer. - “All weekend.” - he whispered as he kissed him.

“He's gonna hate us.” - laughed Robert.

“He's a teenager, he doesn't need a reason.”

“I love when you're shifty.” - smiled Robert.

“I learned from the best.”

[rustandruin]

Can you just drop Robert's return and Robrons reunion out into the universe now please?? You seem to have......ways of predicting future canon. Please make it so!

Hey Anon!

This is very sweet of you, but I think the instances you’re referring to were just really me giving Robert and Aaron my own personal interests because I thought they fit well! (So please approach this with multiple grains of salt scattered liberally over your shoulder.) 

That said, I think a really cool way to bring Robert back would be with everyday soap logic. Something happens so he’s released for good behaviour or something within the next few. Now what? He’s given up Aaron (and Liv and Seb), the only thing that really mattered to him, so he’s unmoored. He tries to live an Aaron-less life, settle down in Leeds, get a job in some marketing firm doing the accounts, starts small again, etc. (I like to think he somehow reads and studies a lot while he’s away in fancy white-collar prison, but I digress.)

For the most part, he’s doing fine. Only October 5th hits and it’s his and Aaron’s fifth anniversary. He goes to a bar after work because he’s a bit maudlin and maybe gets hit on by a cute bartender, but turns them down because he really meant what he said to Aaron all those years ago. It’s him. It’ll always be him. He doesn’t want anyone else. Five years in prison and all he can think about is how good Aaron looked on a suit on the day he officially made him his husband. 

And because he’s full of booze by a certain hour and getting quite sentimental, he does what any emotional bisexual does: he calls himself a taxi to a little village in the dales, because he wants to visit a certain gazebo. 

Unfortunately, Aaron has done exactly what Robert had told him to do. He’s moved on. He doesn’t have Seb in his life anymore, and Liv’s moved out and is working in Manchester. (Thanks to Robert’s guidance and Doug’s and Belle’s, she’s working at a start-up in Manchester, living her best life.) So he’s currently in a longterm relationship with Jason, a handsome accountant friend of Ryan’s who ran into Aaron when Ryan was helping update the Holey Scrap website, and politely flirted with him enough that even Jimmy King noticed and told him to take him up on it. (Aaron doesn’t know this, but Jimmy has secretly taken it upon himself to hold up his “Robert’s second best friend” duties even though Robert’s not here, because he knows that’s what Robert would want.) 

Jason, who is also the new accountant at Home Farm and helps the new owner figure out a whole money scandal with the business, knows about Robert and how special that date is, so he offers to take Aaron away for the weekend as a form of distraction. With some more of Jimmy’s egging (because he’s also pulling double duty as Aaron’s secret second best friend atm), Aaron does take Jason up on his offer and goes away to Manchester to see Liv with him. 

While there, Aaron has a ton of fun and realises that Jason really is a great guy and that if he had to move on from Robert and marry someone else, Jason would be an ideal pick. The sex is good, his family likes him, and Aaron actually does love him underneath it all. Of course, it’s not the earth-shattering love he had with Robert, because nothing will ever match that, but it’s enough. He never thought he’d move on from Robert, but look! He’s found it in himself to look at another man and get butterflies. It’s progress! 

He doesn’t tell Liv or Jason, but the whole ride home he’s thinking of his wedding day with Robert and how he might propose to Jason. (Jason’s always floated the idea of marriage, but has never pressed because he has enough sense to ignore Paddy and Chas and listen to what Aaron’s not saying: i.e. that he doesn’t want to get married again.) 

And THAT’s when it strikes! The massive week-long event that Emmerdale has been hyping up all month: A plane crash that causes a multi-car pile up. (The plane crash has to do with the new owner of Home Farm confronting the person related to the embezzlement of funds.) 

Aaron and Jason are caught up in pile up it but aren’t hurt. Unfortunately, Cain is and it’s serious, so they rush to the hospital. Aaron has flashbacks the whole time and can’t help but wonder if this is how Robert felt when it was him. 

They get to the hospital and Jason goes to park the car and Aaron goes rushing in, and a familiar blonde nurse says “Oh! You’re here. Thank goodness. He won’t settle.” 

She grabs him by the arm as she drags him to a room, Aaron asks if Cain’s alright, and she says they don’t know. They still have to run tests. Aaron tries to text Chas with one hand because his phone is blowing up. The Dingles are trying to make sure everyone is accounted for. 

It’s not until he finishes sending his text that he looks up and his heart stops. There’s no way the face looking back at him is the face that is right now. There’s no way those eyes and those freckles and those lips can belong to anyone else. 

He must be imagining things. “Robert?” 

And that’s when he hears it. The voice he’s practically memorised off a short video message and several others they’ve sent each other during their time together; fleeting snippets of a life shared. 

“Aaron!” Robert exclaims looking at him with nothing but love and happiness. Then he frowns, brow furrowing as he frowns and looks Aaron over. “Thought you’d at least dress up for our honeymoon.” 

(The doctors find nothing physically wrong with Robert, just a special kind of soap-induced memory loss. And because he still thinks Aaron and he are married, he moves back into the Mill with Aaron, thus kicking off a three-month love triangle of Aaron and Robert and Jason, where Aaron must figure out which man holds his future and Robert has to slowly come to terms with how life has moved on and changed around him.) 

And there you have it! This is how I would do it if I were an Emmerdale producer with a billion dollars in the bank. Or just a new producer. Bring Ryan back with the promise of a juicy storyline (amnesia), a clean slate for Robert and Aaron to move forward from (amnesia), and a way for them to revisit their relationship and work through the pain of what he did in prison and how he stayed away while getting out, thus moving them towards a third reunion/wedding. (This time in the gazebo, when Robert finally has his memory back and is really giving himself a hell of a reunion tour.) 

In any case, it’s the perfect way to hide Ryan’s return (a big event which they can keep promoting), while giving said event a banner ending, especially if you want to give Danny/Aaron a nice juicy storyline moving forward. (Being torn between two men who love him and he loves in turn. Though we all know he’ll be back with Robert within a month or so, or at least by Christmas, where maybe they can have their own Christmas special, but this time it’s like a sliding sideways type deal where Aaron sees how his future would be with both men and he truly has to choose.) 

Though, in my hypothetical universe, I do think the news will be “leaked” and then we’ll all tune in and they’ll get the high ratings they want. I dunno. I hope it turns out this way and we all get surprised with Robert showing up in a hospital bed thinking that time hasn’t passed at all because that would be such a good parallel to him walking into the pub like he did when he returned in 2014. 

[veryveryverytemporarily]

Christmas Midnight Memories...

‘I can’t believe you’ve done this to me! Who puts a coin in a Christmas pudding? I’m sure there are health and safety rules about it!’

‘Well, who fucking swallows it?’

Aaron was fuming and Robert was visibly agitated, his face sweating as he stood next to the hospital bed with his hands shoved in his jacket pockets.

‘You’re supposed to notice it and pull it out and make a wish for God’s sake. But no,’ Robert rolled his eyes skywards ‘… you have to throw food in your mouth and swallow it without chewing, as if you’ve been starved for the past century!’

‘Yeah, blame it on me why don’t you? It’s not a safe thing to do! And I’m the proof!’

‘It’s a tradition, Aaron. People have been doing this for five hundred years! You put silver in the Christmas pudding and it’s supposed to bring good luck and happiness, not misery and four hours in an emergency department.’

The nurse, wearing flashing Rudolf antlers, came up to them again.

‘This is the last time I’m going to say this. I will have to insist that you leave if you continue to argue, it’s disturbing to the other patients, some of whom are actually ill.’

Aaron was lying on the hospital bed waiting for an X-ray, feeling like a fraud. They’d told him on the phone that it would probably pass through his system, but when Robert had taken the phone forcibly from his hand and shared a stream of extraordinary potential things that could happen to him, from choking to appendicitis, they’d given in and agreed that probably they should come into the emergency department for an X-ray after all.

‘I don’t even like Christmas pudding. I only ate it cos you’d actually gone to the trouble of making it for us,’ he’d muttered.

They were disturbed by a sudden commotion as a Father Christmas, smelling of beer and with rather soggy beard, appeared and wandered down the ward, calling out, ‘Ho Ho Ho!’ as he came.

‘Fuck off Santa, can’t you see now’s not a good time?’ Robert raged, and Aaron closed his eyes.

‘And Merry Christmas to you, mate,’ he murmured.

It was their first Christmas ever together as a couple since they’d officially announced to the world that they were dating nine months ago. Robert, of course, had hoped to make it a romantic time and Aaron sort of understood why he was so mad, since everything had turned out so different from how he’d wanted. If there was one thing that Robert hated it was things going out of control. His control, that is.

Christmas Eve had been drinks at Diane and Doug’s with Andy, Vic, and Adam, but then Bernice had turned up with Lawrence, and they’d ended up winding each other up. Robert reckoned Lawrence was jealous that he was finally in an out relationship with a man (something he couldn’t have for himself).

Today, Christmas day, had been just as bad with the horror of a Dingle family dinner. After pulling crackers with Cain, Robert had been more than ready to leave.

Vic and Adam had booked a three-day Christmas break in the Lake District, leaving after Diane’s gathering so they had the house to themselves. Then Robert had served the literally flaming Christmas pudding, and disaster had struck.

When Aaron came back from the X-ray, Robert had calmed down. He’d got himself a coffee and Aaron a cup of watery tea from the vending machine as a peace offering.

‘Sorry, I think it might have gone a bit cold. Do you want me to get you another one?’ He put the drinks down on the bedside table and then reached over and took Aaron’s hands in both of his own, raising them to his lips.

‘Nah, you’re alright,’ Aaron said and squeezed Robert’s fingers back.

Eventually the doctor appeared holding the X-ray.

‘Well, this is interesting…,’ he started. Suddenly Robert stood up, grabbing him by the elbow and steering him further away.

Aaron watched Robert as he talked to the doctor with a furrowed brow, looking very serious. God, was there something really wrong with him that he didn’t know about? What was Robert saying, what was the doctor saying?

The doctor put the X-ray down on the counter and came to talk to Aaron,

‘So,' he said, ‘it looks like the object is leaving the stomach and entering the small intestine. It should pass through the system over the next 24 to 46 hours at the most. If you don’t find it after that, then you will need to come back for another X-ray.’

‘Find it?’ Aaron asked, looking pretty horrified.

‘Erm, yes, ‘the doctor replied. ‘I recommend prunes and a lot of water to get it through more quickly.’

‘I’ll help you look,’ Robert offered gently.

‘You’ll do no such thing, mate!’ Aaron snapped back at him.

‘Come on, I love you. It’s no big deal. It’s not as if I …’

Aaron stopped him, holding a finger up to his lips.

‘Enough. Just take me home!’ he sighed weakly.

 When they finally got back, Robert suggested a film to chill out.

‘What do you fancy then? The Avengers? The Man from U.N.C.L.E? Or we could just re-watch Torchwood?’ Robert loved Torchwood and of course secretly had a crush on Gareth David Lloyd who he thought looked very slightly like Aaron. Aaron also liked the romance scenes, but it wasn’t really his thing.

‘Why don’t we watch something Christmasy, eh?’

 ‘The Hobbit?’ Robert suggested. Aaron laughed and pulled him down onto the sofa for a kiss.

In the end, they watched a bit of the Muppets Christmas Carol, but when Aaron suggested they went to bed, instead, Robert grinned and allowed himself to be led up the stairs.

Once in the bedroom they undressed quickly and started to kiss.

‘This was more of the Christmas I’d had in mind,’ Robert said in a low voice and, pushing Aaron backwards, he kissed a path slowly down from his chest to his stomach before moving completely down and shuffling between Aaron’s thighs, where he started to lick around his hole in the way that he knew brought Aaron close to the edge.

But instead of the blissed out reaction he was accustomed to, all at once, Aaron pulled him up forcibly, grabbing a fist full of the blond hair that Robert had left to grow long for the winter.

Robert looked at him, still panting lustfully, and pushed his fingers down between Aaron’s arse cheeks instead, but Aaron grabbed his hand and slapped him away too, so that Robert lay back on the bed and started laughing, putting his hands behind his head.

‘Aaron, I’m just trying to make love to you!’ he protested.

‘I know. But it’s ruined now. All I can think about is where that flaming silver coin might be.’

‘Wh… what?’ Robert looked sideways at him.

‘It’s just messed with my head, that’s all.’

‘OK. Then let’s make this simple.’ Robert lowered his eye lids and put his head slightly on one side ‘Let me give you a Christmas blow job.’

Aaron rolled onto his side propped up on an elbow and looked down at Robert’s wet red lips. ‘Or I’ll give you one.’ He smiled.

‘Sixty-nine?’ Robert raised his eyebrows.

‘No, cos you’ll just start fingering me.’

Aaron ran a finger over the soft curve of Robert’s exposed arm pit, pinching some of the short blond hair there with the intention of causing pain.

‘Ouch!’ Robert grabbed his hand and went on, ‘Just trust me, Aaron, won’t you?’

Robert swiveled round on the bed so he was upside down and Aaron grabbed his thighs and slapped his firm white arse.

‘I’ll trust you, Sugden, when you stop talking and start sucking!’ Aaron ventured.

So, Robert grinned and did as he was told.

It was early hours on Boxing Day when Robert was woken by Aaron, clutching at his stomach, bent double and sweating. He was obviously in trouble.

‘Oh my God! What have I done?’ Robert asked, hastily pulling on trousers and a sweater. He very gently steered Aaron to the edge of the bed and dressed him, listening to him whimper with pain. ‘It’s OK Aaron, you’re going to be OK!’ He muttered tenderly.

Robert got caught by the speed cameras on the way to the hospital but he didn’t care.

After another X-ray, the doctor explained that the object had got caught in a small pocket of intestine. There would be no alternative but surgery, but fortunately it would be keyhole so recovery would be fast and it would leave hardly any scarring. Aaron and Robert raised their eyes at each other at the mention of scarring and Robert took Aaron’s hand and squeezed it gently. He knew how sensitive Aaron was about the scars on his body, he didn’t need any more to remind him of those painful memories.

Before Aaron went into surgery, Robert kissed him.

‘This is my fault. I’m sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I love you, Aaron!’ he called after him as he was wheeled away down the corridor and out of sight.

***

Aaron blinked his eyes and registered the flashing lights he could see were coming from the fairy lights on a Christmas tree at the corner of the ward.

He felt Robert’s lips on his forehead.

‘Heh. There you are, then! You look so sexy in a gown! We should ask to take it home as a souvenir, for role play!’ He heard him say.

‘Is that all you ever think about?’ he grumbled in reply. His voice sounded hoarse from the effects of the anesthetic.

‘Mostly. Where you’re concerned.’

Aaron finally looked at Robert as his face came fully into focus. When he saw Robert’s genuine smile, he couldn’t help but smile back.

‘Your Mum’s here, and Paddy,’ Robert said. ‘Please don’t tell them this was my fault, if you ever want to see me alive again.’

Robert left them to it. While he was waiting, the nurse approached him with a small plastic container.

‘I believe this belongs to Mr. Dingle? But you probably want to give it to him yourself.’ He smiled at Robert. ‘We washed it with alcohol, so it’s quite clean now,’ he went on. ‘Do you know what he’s going to say?’

‘Absolutely no idea.’ Robert smiled back at the nurse, running a hand through his hair.

Eventually Chas and Paddy left. Robert resumed his position at Aaron’s bedside table. Aaron could hear him breathing heavily.

‘What’s up?’ he asked, always tuned into Robert’s state of mind.

Robert was nervous, but why?

‘So, here it is.’ Robert pulled a plastic box out of his pocket and rattled it, then offered it forward to Aaron, who scoffed and looked away.

‘Well, aren’t you going to look at it, then?’

‘Why would I? It’s just a coin that caused me a lot of grief, mate.’

‘Well,’ Robert lost his patience. ‘Go on; look at it anyway.’

Aaron looked closely at Robert’s face and took the box, then opened it. As his eyes adjusted, he shook his head in confusion.

‘It’s, it’s not a coin…,’ he mumbled.

Robert nodded in agreement, his chest rising and falling rapidly as his heart raced.

‘It’s…, it’s a ring.’

‘It’s a ring.’ Robert repeated.

‘Why’s it black? Is that cos it was…,’ Aaron gestured to his stomach.

‘No, it’s black silver.’

Aaron looked closer at the circular band; it was encrusted with small diamonds all the way round. It was masculine and plain, but stunningly beautiful.

‘Are they … diamonds?’

‘Yes, because, you know what diamond rings are for?’ Robert answered swallowing.

Aaron looked straight into his eyes.

‘Tell me,’ he said softly, biting his bottom lip.

Robert went down on one knee by the bed, and took Aaron’s hand.

‘From the day we first kissed I knew that you were the one, the only one. Aaron, you are my soulmate, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me? Aaron, will you marry me?’

Aaron eyes were welling with tears that spilled down his cheeks.

‘You know my answer. And you know you can’t buy me. I don’t want your poxy diamond ring!’

Robert sighed.

‘You’re right.’

He took the ring and threw it in the trash in the corner of the cubicle. Fishing in his pocket he pulled out a plastic ring and looked at it.

‘This came out of the cracker I shared with Cain yesterday. This do you?’

Aaron grinned through his tears and took it, wrapping his fist around it.

‘Yes.’ His blue eyes shone as he looked at Robert. ‘My answer, you Muppet, is yes.’

‘Really?’

Robert kissed Aaron so long and so hard that the nurse approached them.

‘I will have to insist that you leave if you continue this, it’s over stimulating to the other patients, some of whom are, actually, quite ill.’

The next day Robert came to take Aaron home. Aaron was dressed and waiting. He showed Robert the contents of the sports bag: There was the hospital gown folded neatly, ready to take home for role play time.

‘Yes! Well done, Aaron!’ Robert winked. Then all at once he noticed something. He picked up Aaron’s left hand and looked at his second finger. It was adorned with a beautiful black silver band encrusted with diamonds.

‘Yeah, well.’ Aaron winked. ‘I figured it would last longer than the other one.’

‘All our lives.’ Robert answered with a smug grin and kissed him softly. He picked up the sports bag and took Aaron’s hand as they left the ward together to go home.

Santa was on his rounds again, looking rather pale and exhausted.

‘Merry Christmas!’ Robert nodded as they passed on their way out.

***

‘I’ll be the doctor and you be the patient.’

‘No, I’ll be the doctor and you’ll be the patient, mate. I was the patient last time, if you remember?’

Adam banged on the wall.

‘You’ll both be bloody patients in a minute, if you don’t shut it. The sooner you get married and out of this house the better!’

Robert and Aaron looked at each other and stretched their eyes, grinning guiltily.

‘Okay, you be the doctor.’ They both whispered together. ‘No, you….’

[spongerobertstudpants]

It’s Emmerdale time!

Aaron is still sleeping (and I use that term loosely) on the couch. But at least Cain does seem to be showing some interest in getting Aaron out of the house and doing something active.

Nate really needs to disappear.

I’m actually kind of surprised Millie wasn’t able to convince Kim to join the Panto. She seems to have her Grandma wrapped around her finger 😂

That line really does sound like it was about Aaron and not himself.

I really don’t blame Liv for wanting to keep the letter secret and hope that he doesn’t receive one. Because really it is not going to do any good for Aaron’s state of mind.

Chas, if you actually looked in on your son and showed that you cared more than yelling at him to get over Robert, then Liv wouldn’t be feeling like this. She wouldn’t have to feel like she has to be responsible for him. She is a younger sister. Not his mother!

So is the whole Charity revenge stuff now over? I mean, I don’t care either way as long as Nate is no longer involved. Make him leave!

Who do you think Pete is going to spend Christmas with, Tracy?

I really wish Liv’s seizures were not being used as a plot device...

Of course Wendy was going to be the one to find Liv... Still doesn’t mean she isn’t going to kidnap a baby once Vic has it 😉

That scene between Cain and Aaron is all I ever want to see! It’s good to remember he is someone that does look out for Aaron and reminds him of what he has (and had with Robert) and that seeing a counselor is not a bad thing.

Uhm... Noah, maybe let them know that a tour of the vet’s surgery may not be a good idea because Danny could try to be getting his hands on some drugs.

I seriously love this Panto story, lol. It is good to have a fun, light-hearted story amongst all the serious drama.

This is why I love Maxine. If it was any other writer, they would have Chas tell Aaron that this was down to him and that he needs to get over it and focus on Liv. 

YAS Rishi!

Poor Rishi!

Why are you cutting the tree inside?! That is going to be such a huge mess to clean up!!! Ugh, men 😂

I'm guessing Bernicee is going to miss her flight 😉

But only when the plot calls for it Liv

Wow, is there even enough decorations for that tree?

I’m so happy to hear Liv saying she misses Robert as well. That was one thing that felt missing. They did have a relationship. And it was one that I enjoyed. But it always felt like Liv couldn’t express that feeling because of how frequent she is used as a plot device.

--------------------------------------------

Maxine does it again. But I also am worried about what will come now that it is over. I think that comes down to the fact that I worry the next time we see Aaron/Chas/Vic/Liv, everything that Maxine did is going to go right out the window. This would be the perfect opportunity for Aaron to go on a holiday and give us a break before everyone goes back to what they were doing to him before tonights ep.

Well, I hope everyone has a great day!

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 5th April 2019

- Well...at least Debbie is talking to Cain again and not just to ask him to do something for her and she asked how he and Moira were. That’s almost like growth. I’m sure it entirely has the possibility of being completely undone by next week but who knows. Haha. 

- Having rewatched the kidnapping story this morning and seeing it with Joe, now watching Graham just stand around near a new chaotic person and try and keep them from doing too many crazy things is just...really not that interesting. When will he go away?

- Who is Laurel talking to? It seemed like more than two messages on a dating app. Maybe it is. Who knows. I’m still kind of holding out hope for her and Jai though. But I like how supportive Gabby was. And I also liked how weirded out by Rodney Gabby was too. Haha. 

- One minute I’m annoyed by Aiesha’s whinging and then when she’s all ‘yay me’ in that sarcastic tone, I kind of love her again. She’s a trip so far anyway. I love watching her drive Jai crazy though. It’s fun. It’s so nice to have the Sharma family back feeling like a family. 

- I get why Harriet intervened but that really did kind of suck for Dawn since we know she’d made her mind up to come clean. Although, I’m pretty sure Jai would have fired her regardless. 

- That ‘attack’ wasn’t much of an attack. But okay. I guess we’ll see where this goes. I know Dawn’s going to be a suspect, but I would guess it’s not her because that’s too easy. 

- Why does Dawn think she’s going to get Lucas back again? I thought she decided that he was good where he was? Or did she just decide that she needs to get her life together first before she broaches the subject again? I forget. 

- I still weirdly like Pete and David being advice buddies these days. And, god help me, David gives better advice than Bob at least. Pete and Rhona continue to be lovely though. I’m glad the break up didn’t last although I still worry about them. 

- Bear Wolf continues to be the worst but I’m glad everyone can see that now. When he was talking about massages and he went and sort of put his arms around Lydia, I was just like ‘No! Please step away from every female in this show!’ He’s gross. I don’t like him. I also don’t know where this is going exactly since Paddy kicked him out. Is this going to tie into Harriet’s homeless drive? 

- I did thoroughly enjoy Aaron being annoyed with Bear though and asking Robert if he minded if he killed him. That’s my boys. Haha. And look at Robert actually helping with manual labor. Talk about character growth! Ha!

- I love the fact that they actually played football in the street. I like that Matty got to play. I loved that Liam just sat down to watch how it was going to play out and was just waiting for an opportunity to drop Bear in it about his stupid arm. And I loved Robert playing goalie and getting all into it only to absolutely fail when going up against Paddy of all people. 

- Also, was Sam wearing oven mitts? (scratch that, i see that they were aaron’s gloves) I love it. So nice to see Sam and Lydia back briefly. 

[vicbartons]

Ohhh and for the prompt I sent could you maybe make it hurt comfort if that’s ok? Xox

#62 “please shut up. just shut up.”

They should have never let Cain talk them into this.

There are thousands of thoughts rushing through Robert‘s head a mile a minute, but that is the loudest one. A screeching alarm bell going off in the depths of his brain, overloading his senses.

Because they were supposed to be this sensible, grown-up couple these days, weren‘t they?

No more dodgy deals, no more lies and schemes. 

Just an average married couple, happy and loved-up. With nothing more to worry about than where to spend their weekly date night or whose job it was to pick up toilet paper from the shop this time around.

Only sensible grown-ups didn‘t run through the wad of cash they had made in what was supposed to be their very last heist within a year and a wedding. They didn‘t have to move into their little sister‘s spare room out in the middle of nowhere once their London rent had gotten too steep. Sensible grown-ups didn’t get turned down when asking for a loan, because neither one of them had a single steady employment to show for over the past ten years that was legal enough to mention on a CV. Sensible grown-ups didn‘t have rap sheets as long as their arms, clinging to them like a persistent rash and keeping them from ever making it through any landlord‘s rigorous vetting process without reverting to old tricks. Let alone the doors of an adoption agency.

Sensible grown-ups also probably didn‘t find themselves bend over their bed  midday on the regular, instead of out shopping for food at the local Tesco or job-hunting.

So maybe they weren‘t really ready for the whole responsible adult thing just yet anyway. If ever.

Still, they shouldn‘t have let Cain talk them into this.

Because they have only been married for ten months and there is still so much left that they want to do. So much more life to live together.

Only now Aaron is bleeding out on him on the linoleum floors of a nondescript corridor somewhere in the depths of the Tate‘s ridiculously massive headquarters and should and shouldn‘t haves suddenly aren‘t worth a damn thing anymore.

“Robert-” Aaron‘s voice is already far too small for his body and something in Robert threatens to break at the sound.

Robert has got his right hand on his left, holding them steady even with his trembling fingers as he presses hard against Aaron‘s middle. He tries to stop the blood from spilling, but Aaron‘s tight black t-shirt keeps growing impossibly darker despite his efforts, the edges of the fabric curling upwards around the wound in wetness right where the bullet cut through it. 

Cain had dubbed the bit of theft a no-brainer. A quick job; revenge and a big pay day all rolled up in one the way the older Dingle always likes it best. Well that and none of them had counted on Kim‘s bulldogged henchmen actually being willing to pull guns on them. Or catching them at all for that matter. They were RobertandAaron after all. They didn‘t get caught, did they? 

In retrospect, that way of thinking had been incredibly short-sighted. Naive even. 

But hindsight doesn‘t really help them now.

Robert‘s eyes keep flicking back and forth between his husband‘s face and the wound on his stomach and he can feel himself drowning in the impossibility of it all until Aaron speaks up again, his voice enough to drag him back to the surface. “Robert,” he whispers, but there‘s a strength to it Robert wasn‘t sure he had in him anymore with his lips as white as they are already. “You know that I-”

And Robert wants to hear him speak, because as long as he‘s speaking Robert can be sure he hasn‘t lost him yet, but he can‘t hear that. Doesn‘t want it.

“Please Aaron, shut up!” The words are loud and sharp and echo through the halls. Booming enough to make Aaron‘s eyes go wide and take even Robert by surprise. It makes him press his hands down a little harder on Aaron‘s abdomen and take a breath. Long and deep, hoping it will right whatever‘s trying to come undone inside of him at the sight of his husband in pain. “Just shut the hell up,” Robert says under his breath. “Will ya?” It‘s a plea more than anything else. 

“No.” Aaron has always been the more stubborn one out of the two and that‘s saying something. There‘s a shake of his head that makes him hiss in pain, but he keeps going anyway. ”I need you to know -”

And of course Robert knows, knows it deep in his bones.

In all his life, one spun out of lies and schemes and make-believe, there has never been anything more true to him than how he feels about Aaron. Or that Aaron feels the same for him in return. It had scared him to the core, the first time they‘d met. When Robert had walked into the Woolpack for a drop-off in search of Charity a little over six years ago now and found her sort-of-nephew with the permanent scowl etched on his face instead. The tug he had felt in the pit of his stomach the moment their eyes met had never disappeared again from there on out, no matter how much of a sour git the younger man had been.  

Want at first sight, they sometimes call it. 

And then so much more after that. 

“I know, okay? Of course I know,” Robert presses out between clenched teeth and he wishes that this stupid game of theirs didn‘t suddenly carry so much weight, “but I need to stop you from dying on me right now and get us out of here and that will work a whole lot better, if you stop trying to say goodbye to me, you muppet.” 

Aaron actually manages to smile a little at the all too familiar nickname and Robert can‘t help but mirror it, all be it a little crooked with his lips bitten and his eyes red raw from trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Bossy,” Aaron mutters between shallow breaths.

“You love it.”

Somehow Aaron gets his eyes to focus on Robert then. “Yeah, I do,” he whispers like he always does when Robert teases him like this, but it‘s lacking its usual levity. “Robert, if-”

The dismay on Aaron‘s face makes Robert lean down until their foreheads are touching and his full weight is pressing onto the wound with him almost lying on top of his husband.

“Shush,” he breathes out and his nose rubs along Aaron‘s with the slight shake of his head. “I‘m gonna get you out of here and then we‘re gonna drop half the cash at Cain‘s and drive right off to Paris with the other half like we planned to. And then we‘ll make a real go of it, all above board, right?” And Aaron just closes his eyes and nods, breathes his husband in. 

Feeling his shallow breaths against his cheeks as reassurance finally gives Robert a chance to think.

He only has a vague idea of where they are. The corridors underneath the building complex that were starting to bear a scary resemblance to an unsolvable maze, with their never ending white blank walls and headache-inducing neon lights had managed to disorientate him once he had gone rogue and just made a dash for the first exit in sight. Usually Robert was a by the book guy, as far as criminals go - always sticking to carefully mastered plans - but the reflex to get his husband to safety at any cost had overruled all that. 

It‘s how he‘d gotten them lost.

“Ace job, Robert,” he thinks to himself. “So much for criminal mastermind.”

He has seen them before though, the corridors, of course he has. In the back of Cain‘s garage on a blueprint spread across the hood of an old Chevy, a system of tunnels spreading across the entirety of the property like a spiderweb. It was too bad that with all of Robert‘s skills, a photographic memory had never been one of them. 

There is one thing he remembers though. It‘s the way all those endless corners end in a clean circle on the outer edge, connecting all the tunnels. Some sort of aesthetic choice on Kim‘s part apparently - the older woman enarmored by the symmetry - but all Robert can see in it is the system‘s fatal flaw. A weakness to be exploited. 

He is a conman after all.

“I know how to get us out of here,” Robert splutters and rights himself. He runs his hand through Aaron‘s dark curls once before busying himself with trying to untie his tie one-handed, determination finally making his fingers stop shaking.

His other hand never leaves its place on Aaron‘s stomach.

“Knew I didn‘t just marry ya for your looks, Dingle,” Aaron mumbles with his eyes still closed and Robert tries his hardest to ignore how every syllable keeps being cut short by haggard breaths.

His stomach grows warm with the epithet nonetheless.

“Then off into the sunset,” Aaron coughs hard and opens his eyes slowly. Looks up at Robert through this lashes, “like that old-timey movie?”

Robert softens at the age-old argument. Indulges it to stop the air around them from growing so heavy.

“I‘ll have you know that The Getaway is a classic.” 

They had watched it one night in the early days, curling up on Robert‘s sofa for what one could almost call a proper first date. Robert had fallen hard and fast for the story and also maybe Steve McQueen and Ali MacGraw. 

Aaron on the other hand? Not so much. 

The fact alone that they have still made a habit of watching it at least once a year with only a minimal amount of grumbling from his better half makes Robert love Aaron all the more. ”But yes,” Robert adds on, his eyes no longer just watery, but a tear making its way down his cheek, “exactly like that. Because you‘re going to be just fine, Sugden.”

Aaron just breathes and it‘s all that Robert needs from him right now.

“So you‘re gonna hold on for me now, ey?” He asks anyway, more for himself than because he actually expects a response.

But Aaron has always been good at giving Robert more than he needs.

“Yes, boss,” he‘s barely opening his mouth now, but he‘s still there and that‘s everything. 

Robert presses one last kiss onto Aaron‘s forehead and then he gets on with it: Rips a strip of his dress shirt and ties it around Aaron‘s middle with the sage green necktie his husband hates so much, pulls him off the ground, throws an arm around his shoulder and just keeps walking until he notices a slight curve in the walls indicating that they‘ve actually reached the outer edge of the premises and his earplug crackles and shrieks as the connection builds back up, Cain barking at him through it soon after. Robert just keeps running and praying to whoever up there is willing to listen that they‘ll be okay.

(It‘s the last time the two of them get hands-on with a dodgy job. Not because Aaron doesn‘t make it. He does. Barely, but he makes it. No, it‘s because Robert makes it clear that the gashing scar on Aaron‘s abdomen that matches the one on his husband‘s chest all too much is the last one he‘s willing to bear. And the tired look on his face as he says it, the way his eyes go hollow like the thought alone is making him lose the will to live, is haunting enough that Aaron doesn‘t want to disagree.

Yet, Robert‘s still runs the odd con job out of the basement on the side even seven years later - with their little daughter perched on his lap - and Aaron might find himself laying out a classic thievery trick on deep web forums every now and again.

But that is all it is. Desk jobs, really. 

Aaron and Robert have grown sensible after all.)

[enchantedsugden]

(because of you) i believe in me for the first time

ao3 link

It was overwhelming, the whole day had been overwhelming really. He closed the toilet door behind him and rested against it for a few seconds, eyes closed. It was a good kind of overwhelming, but it was still a lot. He couldn’t help the smile appearing on his face when he thinks of Aaron waiting for him in the pub, he thinks about the way Aaron had been looking at him the whole day, Robert wasn’t quite sure if he deserved it, really. He was getting much better with the whole deserving thing, Aaron always telling him that they deserved this life, no doubt about it, that he was happy.

Robert knows Aaron loves him, wants to be with him. Today was prove enough wasn’t it? Aaron was all set to propose to him, same place at the same time. He shook his head at the memory, he still couldn’t believe it.

They are better than they have ever been, and Aaron wants to adopt Seb, they’re a family.

Robert knows he has to make a move, before his husband, fiancé? He doesn’t even know, comes to find him and finds him in a bit of a state.

He takes a deep breath and walks back into the pub.

 He sees Aaron giving him this smile again, soft, open, happy everything and more really. He sits down, another pint already in front of him. They decided to have one more drink before heading back home. Vic promised to have Seb for the night and Liv said she would stay at Gabby’s for a bit, maybe for the night.

“You alright?” Aaron asks, Robert looks at him, only sees Aaron. He knows that Chas will be happily yelling again in their ears in a bit, knows that Paddy keeps given them these looks, and he knows that Liv and Victoria are just constantly smirking at them. It doesn’t matter though, he only sees Aaron.

“Yeah, yes.” He replies, wonders if Aaron picked up on his overwhelmed state, then again it’s hard hiding from Aaron these days, he doesn’t even want to, to be honest.

Aaron smiles, covers his hand with his own. It looks like he wants to say more but he stops himself “we’ll have these” he nods to their pints “and then we head home yeah?”

Robert nods eagerly, suddenly wants Aaron all to himself, no prying eyes near them. He wants to celebrate their engagement, so what if they already did their fair share of celebrating at the lay-by, their lay-by, before they called Cain?

  He has his head on Aaron’s chest, both of them coming down from the high, panting, listening to each other’s breathing. It’s all there is to hear, the house otherwise blissfully quiet. They let the silence linger, just enjoying each other’s company.

It hits him that he gets to have this, not just now, but forever. It has him taking in a shaky breath, and Aaron starts rubbing his arm. He feels him press a kiss into his air, and he feels tears prickling. Happy tears though.

“You’re quiet.” It’s Aaron breaking the silence.

Robert scoffs, “says you” he laughs “I am sorry but I am still catching my breath here, thank you very much.”

“Old man.” Robert rolls his eyes, could have expected that reply really. “I am getting older, but with you” he smirks, it's ridiculously sappy but oh well, he’s said it now.

Aaron hand stills just for a second, but then he’s rubbing it again, almost digging his fingers in his arm and he feels him burying his head in his hair.

“Yeah” Aaron says, voice croaky “I am so happy” he continues and Robert feels his heart burst, wants nothing more than have Aaron happy, make him happy.

“You deserve to be” he knows his voice is slightly shaky “I am so glad that I can- I make you happy” it kind of comes out like a question, knows Aaron will pick up on it.

“You make me happy.” Robert smiles at how sure he sounds “I- everything you said, I am so proud of you Robert, and happy, happy that you are yourself now, that you can be happy with yourself. You deserve to be.”

“Thank you” Robert can’t manage much more than a whisper.

“No need to thank me- you changed my life too, I- it’s everything.”

Robert knows this, knows what they have been through, what Aaron’s been through, how they have been there for each other, how much they mean to each other. There’s been a lot of hurt yes, but they were here now, together and newly engaged.

“We get to make each other happy.” It sounds simple but at the end of the day that’s what it’s really about, the truth.

“We do.” Aaron squeezes his shoulder.

“Didn’t think I got to have that again you know.”

“I know.” Aaron presses another kiss into his hair and Robert is reminded of his earlier I know that little gesture that reminded him that Aaron was there, that Aaron knows his demons, past and present.

“I didn’t either.” Aaron continues.

And it’s been ages since that night in February, where everything changed once again. Robert loves that for both of them it’s a good memory, the fresh start that got them here today.

 “Get some sleep.” Aaron whispers.

“You what” he hears Aaron sigh, “it’s not even that late.”

“So? it’s not like you are looking very alive at the minute.”

“Oi.” Robert laughs “you don’t look much better.”

“Yeah well that’s what proposal planning does to you.”

“You didn’t do anything! I think you’ll find I was the one doing the work, I actually drove us to the lay-by.”

“Yes! But only because you ran out of petrol, who runs out of petrol?”

“I- well at least it’s a story.” Robert pouts, burying his face even more into Aaron’s chest.

“We’ve got enough of those haven’t we.”

“Hmm true.” Robert knows sleep is near but he just doesn’t want to stop talking to his fiancé.

“This morning, I didn’t think we’d get engaged again, thought I had to think of a new plan” he mumbles

“Yeah but you stole my idea.” Robert laughs, knows he’ll probably never hear the end of it, doesn’t mind though.

“Sleep” Aaron mumbles, sounding like sleep is about to take him any minute as well.

    They have forever to do more talking, laughing and loving.

    :::

    Aaron watches his husband? Fiancé, who knows? He watches Robert clearing up the flat, or at least trying to. They really couldn’t let Victoria help them clean up their flat, even though she did offer, after she got over the fact she had seen nothing of the actual party. Aaron thinks she was also just too happy that she gets to be Robert’s best woman. But his husband was right, yes he’s just going to go for husband, it couldn’t really be anyone else. Same for him really, Adam was gone and to be honest it had felt right to ask Liv for the job. This way the most important people were all close by.

Robert sighs loudly, and turns around, his hair is all in his face and Aaron has to laugh. He’s holding this black bin liner, and Aaron very much hopes it isn’t about to tear.

“Let me help.”

“It’s easier to do on your own, quicker”

“Yes, very logical.” Aaron frowns and shakes his head, after Victoria had left and Liv had very spontaneously decided to go with her, clearly wanting to avoid clearing up duties, he had checked on Seb, finding the boy unsettled and eyes wide open. A few minutes in Aaron’s arms while talking about the party, with a few babbles from Seb had the baby fast asleep again soon enough.

He’d come downstairs to see that Robert had already started on the clearing up, he shot him a soft smile as a thank you for settling Seb, Aaron didn’t need thank yous, didn’t ever need thank yous but he smiled back all the same.

 “Sit down, it looks bad but it isn’t that bad I’ll have it done in minutes.”

 “With my help”

 “No, it’s fine-“

 “No, Robert this is ridiculous it’s a tip” Aaron suddenly said, firmly, Robert started laughing suddenly and he couldn’t help but join in.

“It is isn’t it, we didn’t even ask for a party and now we get to clean it up ourselves.” Robert said.

“Typical innit.” He jumped up and grabbed another bin liner, getting to work straight away.

“You had a good time yeah?, Even though it would have been better to do this in the pub.” Robert laughed.

“Yeah, it was good.” He nodded, he knew Robert had less of a good time, what with Lachlan swanning in saying all sorts, he also knew that Robert felt bad about it, he could see it in the hunch of his shoulders. “What about you?” he asked.

Robert nodded, a soft smile on his face “I had a good time,- yeah.” Then he suddenly looked up, looking straight at Aaron, “I am sorry if it looked I didn’t, Aaron-���

“Oi, no, no don’t worry I know you did.” He meant it as well, saw Robert smiling throughout the party, at him, Liv and Seb, all heart eyes and subtle touches.

Aaron drops the bag and moves over to Robert, who gives him this little smile that gives Aaron all the butterflies, he rubs Robert’s arms and softly pecks him on the lips. “I had a great time” he says again “so let’s clear up and we can have an even better time” he relishes in the way Robert laughs at him.

  Aaron realises it will take a while before they get that alone time, but he doesn’t mind, he gets to have this life now.

  Seb wakes up again, sounding very grumpy and grizzly and they look at each other. “Shall I bring him down?” Aaron asks softly and Robert nods.

The little boy seems to settle almost immediately when he realises that he gets to go downstairs.

“Guess he just wanted some company.” Aaron says, bounces him up and down a bit and Seb giggles.

“Hmm, I know that feeling.” Robert replies and Aaron gives him a warm smile, comes closer to Robert, who holds Seb’s hand and gives Aaron a kiss on the head.

 He sits on the couch for a bit, talking away to Seb softly while Robert clears up the last of the mess.

Suddenly Robert is next to him and touches his hand.

“Think he’s ready for bed again, don’t you?” he watches Robert nod.

“You’re so good with him.” Robert blurts out and Aaron feels warmth spreading through him.

Robert continues “I am not just saying that cause- cause you want to adopt him, if it comes to it- but you really are.”

Aaron believes that, he does, he can’t help sometimes doubting it though, can’t believe how it’s possible. Robert picks up on it, knows how much it all means to Aaron “I promise you.”

Seb suddenly moves his arms a bit and his eyes are open again, but he gives Aaron this little grin, so it doesn’t matter he’s awake again. “He thinks so too.” Robert says and Aaron bends down to drop a kiss to the baby’s head.

  It’s not even later that they get that kind of alone time, but the both of them are content enough to just be soft around each other after all the craziness of the past few days, well only today and yesterday really but so much seemed to have happened.

  Robert tucks Seb in, because Aaron suddenly decided to make them some tea, well to be exact a brew and a toastie. Not an evening meal in the slightest, in Robert’s eyes that is, but apparently Robert just wants to make Aaron happy, so if that is tea and cheese toasties every evening, so be it.

He has just set out the mugs, when he feels arms wrapping around him, and Robert’s head on his shoulder.

“Seb okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, I think he’s really out for the count this time.” He sways them a bit “so, we at least got our best woman sorted” Aaron laughs, it’s already more than they had last time.

“Yeah.” Aaron sighs, feels Robert burying his head in his shoulder. “I laughed at Andy, asking Vic.” Aaron has to laugh at that, “I asked Liv though didn’t I” he feels Robert nod.

“You’re my best friend though.” Robert says and Aaron feels his heart doing something weird, it reminds him of that time in the garage, just before they got back together.

“I know” he says softly and he turns around in Robert’s arms, so he can touch his cheek. “So are you- I’d be your best man if I could” and he’s happy when he sees the frown disappearing on his husband’s face, sees him smile again.

“Even if I had more friends, I’d still pick Vic, you know. I tell you everything, but- but when we weren’t together, Vic was always there, I wouldn’t know what I���ve done without her.”

“Yeah- I know, she is a good person to talk to, she’s amazing.” Aaron adds, loves the fond smile on Robert’s face, he feels the same about Liv, and Vic really.

During their breakup, Liv was something for him to focus on, it helped. Both their sisters had helped them in many ways, and Aaron didn't want any one else to be their best (wo)men

“You do have friends, Robert.” Aaron blurts out, wants it settled. “Like yes I am the best one, but all the people that were here today, they were here for both of us ok?”

Robert chuckles, “yes ok, I know.” Aaron pushes Robert away a bit “you go sit down now, so I can actually finish this.”

Robert grins, shaking his head and he can’t resist pecking Aaron on the lips a few times before he lets him get back to work.

  Aaron watches his husband actually do what he’s told for once. He’s happy, they are both so happy and there was a time Aaron was convinced they would never get this again, not together at least.

    But here they are, in their home, a place for their little family and Aaron can’t wait to have this forever and ever.

[dudleyguildford]

bring me the dawn

(an unfinished fic i just found in my folder)

au where robert is sent to prison, not aaron, for perverting the court of justice after evidence is found backing up ryan’s claims. 

“Robert!”

He can hear Aaron even as he’s led down the steps and through a back door. The word is just a broken plea, and Robert feels his legs give a little, vision blurring. The officer’s hand on his shoulder tightens and he’s guided more firmly into the dark corridor beneath the courtroom. When the door shuts, he feels the slam like a punch to the solar plexus and it takes everything he has not to turn around, not to search for Aaron one last time, knowing he won’t be there.

“Hands out.”

The request washes over him but his body complies nonetheless, arms out in front as the officer handcuffs his wrists. The metal is cold against his skin and he shivers, feels icy sweat prickling at the base of his neck. He’s not sure what happens now. Cain had sat him down, tried to explain the ins and outs. Even Aaron had had a word, but somehow he’d not really paid attention to any of it.

It’s my first offence, they won’t send me to prison. I’ll get a fine or community service. Just you wait, you’ll all feel stupid for worrying.

His stomach lurches and he swallows hard against the acrid bile burning up his throat. He can’t be sick. Can’t show weakness. That was the only thing which had stuck with him from Cain’s little pep-talk. Let them see you’re scared and you won’t last five minutes. You need them to know you can handle yourself.

Except right now he can’t handle anything. He can barely get his feet to move as he’s led into a room . His bag is beside him and they take out his belongings, cataloguing each in turn. There isn’t much, mainly cash and underwear and Aaron’s hoodie which he didn’t even realise had been packed. His eyes sting at the sight of it and he has to turn away as they write down each item, force himself to breathe even as his lungs protest against it.

When he turns back, the officer is counting out the notes before sealing them in a marked envelope. He knows it’s going to be put in an account for him, a fund for his meals and any other items he’ll need to buy. He’s not sure how he gets access to the money, if maybe he gets a card he can use to buy food, or maybe they’ll give him an allowance… Will someone tell him before he goes inside? Will there be a manual he can read that explains it all? Or will he be expected to learn as he goes?

He knows the answer, knows that he’s on his own now and there’s no one else he’ll be able to rely on other than himself. His chest yawns open, wide and hollow and aching, desperate to feel the soft skin of Aaron’s neck against his nose, breathe him in, feel him pressed close. He won’t get that now. God knows when he’ll be able to see him again.

“Right, come on.”

Robert looks up, eyes searching, but the officer is standing by the door now, beckoning him to follow. Part of him wants to refuse, though he’s beginning to realise already that he doesn’t have that right anymore, and so eventually he shuffles back out into the corridor, minus his belongings this time.

“You’re lucky, the cell’s empty today so you’ll get a chance to be on your own for a bit,” the officer continues, his voice almost optimistic, and dread creeps into Robert’s veins like heavy clay. Every part of him feels weighted, pressing against his shoulders, his back, his head, pushing him further into the floor. The handcuffs bite a little when he twists his hand and he winces, focusing on that rather than the cell he can now see approaching.

Run.

The instinct is so strong that for a second he almost abides without thought, but then he remembers what will happen if he does. The punishment is severe enough already, but no doubt there’ll be repercussions if he decides to bolt. He can’t do anything but go along with it, following the officer into the holding cell and sitting down on the hard bench with its thin, blue mattress and white, tiled walls.

“Your barrister will probably come down in a bit once we’ve got you processed.”

“Can I see my family?” Robert asks, because frankly he never wants to see another lawyer ever again.

The officer gives him a pitying look and Robert feels a small part of himself recede, the part which was still clinging onto hope.

“’Fraid not. You’ll need to be transported to the prison first, then you’ll get a phone call. Eventually.”

A phone call.

Even the idea of it is unbearable, too much for him to process. What will he say? How will he ever make amends for this? They were supposed to be going on their honeymoon. They should have been starting the rest of their lives together… today.

The officer leaves and the cell door shuts with a clink, the lock only confirming what Robert already knows. He’s trapped, and he will be until the day they let him out. He can’t even think that far ahead. He’s not even sure he’ll make it that far.

The whole cell smells of disinfectant, the linoleum floor scrubbed clean though he can already pick out the corners where the mop hasn’t quite reached, clogged with dust and dirt and grime. The grout between the tiles is a dark grey and Robert runs a finger across the rough adhesive, feeling strangely detached from everything, like he’s floating. Maybe he’s left most of himself out there, in the real world that’s still spinning on regardless, out where Aaron is probably still shouting for him.

He presses a hand to his stomach and breathes out deeply, forces himself to focus on the squeaky floor rather than the sickening smell of bleach clinging to the insides of his nostrils. He’ll need to keep it together, need to find something inside himself to hang onto for the next however many months. He can’t fall to pieces on his first day or Cain will be right – he won’t last five minutes.

The circular indent around his wedding finger is a little red where Robert’s rubbed at the skin. He’s been so used to feeling the metal band wrapped around it that he can’t quite get used to the lightness in its absence. He brings his hand up to his mouth and kisses the place it should be, imagining it’s Aaron’s lips instead. Maybe that can be what gets him through – focusing on Aaron, on his smile and his laughter and the look in his eyes just after they’ve kissed.

Get through it for him. You have to get through it for him.

He wants to. He wants to be brave and strong, wants to hold on for Aaron’s sake. And he will. He has to. But right now he doesn’t feel brave. He feels small and young and out of his depth. He feels like he should be running to his mother for help, for comfort, for love.

Time stalls inside the cell. He has no concept of what hour it is, if minutes have passed or mere seconds. He supposes this is what it will be like from now on, days blending together into one, never really knowing one week from the next. Or maybe he’ll be the type of prisoner with a calendar by his bed, marking off each day religiously, counting it down like a ritual. He can see it now, crossing them off one by one until finally, finally, he can go home.

Home to Aaron.

There’s the echo of footsteps somewhere in the distance and he hears voices drifting down the corridor. He sits and waits, silencing the hope inside him which screams: You’re going to be freed. When he hears the lock in the door click open again he stands and is met with his barrister instead of his husband.

You should never hope.

“Mr. Sugden,” he says, stepping into the cell and holding out his hand for Robert to shake. He sits down again instead.

The lawyer remains by the door, evidently not planning on staying long, and pulls out a document from his briefcase. “Luckily they’re not taking you too far. Hotten would have been preferable but Leeds isn’t too much further-”

“Leeds?” Robert chokes out. It’s almost an hour’s drive. An hour there and back for anyone to come and see him. Will anyone even bother to make that kind of trip?

His barrister raises an eyebrow, surprised at the overreaction. “It could be much worse. I’ve had clients taken down to Liverpool, Birmingham… one was taken as far as the East Midlands. Trust me, Leeds really isn’t that bad.”

There’s a smugness to his smile which Robert wants to remove with his fist… but it’s impossible right now. It would only mean more time inside and he’s barely coping with the time he’s got to do already. He can’t afford to stay in any longer than is absolutely necessary.

“Can I appeal? The sentence, I mean.” He can’t keep the urgency from his voice, every word strained with desperation. His barrister remains unmoved, marble features sharp and hard, lips pressed together in a frown.

“You can,” he replies, though Robert notes instantly the reluctance to his tone. “Your husband’s already asked that, we’ll be putting together a case within the next few weeks. It will take time though, and I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

Robert should be focusing on the final part, the part which took his freedom and turned it into ash, but instead he’s latched onto your husband for dear life.

“How was Aaron?” he asks, and if he thought he sounded desperate before, it’s nothing compared to how he feels now. There’s a hook in his lung and it’s tugging, yanking, at just the mere mention of Aaron.

“I didn’t speak to him for very long. He was… displeased.”

Robert can read between the lines. He knows what that means. “He gave you an earful?”

The barrister sniffs, shrugs, as if he’s used to mouthy family members. Robert very much doubts he’s ever come up against someone like Aaron Dingle. His chest heaves a little with pride at the thought.

“He believes the sentence was unnecessary, something I am inclined to agree with. I wouldn’t be working on the appeal if I didn’t think there were suitable grounds.”

That gives him strength at least, though most of him still feels winded from the verdict. An hour or two ago he had been standing in a courtroom, his family behind him, and had listened to the judge explain the severity of the crime, how perverting the course of justice was a serious breach of the law, how the perpetrator of such an act could not easily make amends.

He’d known then. He’d felt it sink inside him like a stone, dug his nails into the polished wood of the stand as he drowned out Vic’s choked sobs up in the gallery. he’d barely even registered the sentencing itself, the pounding in his ears too sickeningly loud above everything else. But he read the judge’s lips, saw the words ‘one year’ as clear as anything, and heard Aaron’s immediate refusal rip through him straight afterwards.

“He did it for me!” he’d shouted as the prison officer led Robert down the steps. “Send me to prison! He didn’t do anything wrong!”

It had taken everything he had not to turn and look up. Vic was crying, Aaron was shouting, and God knows how the others were reacting… but he couldn’t bare to see it, to have that be his last memory of them before he was sent to prison. But then Aaron had started shouting his name, pleading with him, voice strained and cracking, and it had almost been enough to break him completely.

“Will you be able to visit me… when I’m… inside?” he asks haltingly, yanking himself from the memory. He can’t relive that moment, not now.

His barrister nods, flexes his fingers round the smooth leather of his briefcase handle. “I’ll come to see you as soon as we have a date for the appeal. Any new developments I imagine your husband and family will keep you informed of.”

It’s Robert’s turn to nod and he does so with vacant eyes, no longer caring all that much for what the older man has to say. It’s too far off, too impossible an idea for him to contemplate right now given that he’s about to be carted off to Leeds for… well, for a year.

Six months and then out for good behaviour, the calculating, logical side of his brain argues, but it’s almost like another slap to the face.

Six months.

183 days.

Only in Robert’s mind that translates to 183 mornings waking up in a cell rather than in bed, wrapped around Aaron. 183 dinners in a hollow canteen, eating food that tastes of nothing, rather than sitting round the table and bickering with Liv. 183 meaningless afternoons spent avoiding other prisoners rather than working on the Mill and building up Home James. 183 nights hearing the lock of a cell door rather than the soft sigh as Aaron curls up against Robert’s side.

I can’t do it. The thought punches hard against his windpipe and he swallows round the lump in his throat, tries to catch a breath even as he feels his lungs wither. There’s no way he can last six months. There’s no way he can last six days. They’ll kill him before that, all the murderers and psychopaths sharing a wing with him.  

“Well, they’ll be moving you soon so I should leave. Like I said, any developments and I’ll let your husband know.”

Robert doesn’t respond. He’s not got the words and even if he did, his voice has long since abandoned him. He’s finding it hard to keep himself together, to keep his back semi-straight rather than just curling into himself and hoping it all just… goes away.

“The first night is always the hardest,” the barrister continues, rapping sharply on the cell door to get the officer’s attention, “but after that you’ll settle in fairly quickly. I imagine you’ve already been told this, but it will do you no harm to get on with your fellow inmates. No need to make friends, you won’t be there long enough for that, but politeness and civility goes a long way.”

With that advice dutifully imparted, the man gives Robert a brusque nod and disappears back out into the corridor. Into the real world, Robert thinks bitterly, desperate to follow him. The officer closes the door a second later, an unnecessary reminder that freedom has been permanently barred to him for as long as Her Majesty sees fit.

The barrister ends up being right. They transfer him soon after he leaves, the officer who had showed him to the cell coming back after another half an hour or so to take him to the prison van. There’s another man - prisoner - also in handcuffs when he’s led out into the narrow courtyard, a scruffy little thing who looks too young to be going anywhere other than the headteacher’s office. He’s pulled up the metal steps of the van and into the first cell, a tin box that Robert’s fairly certain looks less spacious than a coffin. His own handcuffs are tight around his wrists and his gut twists painfully when the officer shackles them to the chain bolted to the floor.

No getting out now, he thinks, not that he’d have been able to before. Somehow it feels worse though, chained and shackled. It’s a humiliation Robert hadn’t considered before, and his cheeks burn with the shame of it. If the officer notices he makes no mention of it, just slides his gaze around the terrifyingly small metal cell to make sure there’s no hidden panel Robert can escape through - as if I’m bloody Houdini, he thinks - and then locks the door.

The air smells stale, stagnated, as if nothing living could survive more than a few seconds inside. It’s warm as well, cloying and uncomfortable, but Robert can’t even loosen his tie, wrists currently dragged down by the chains. In the end he bows his head and closes his eyes, imagining himself back at the pub, making him and Aaron a cup of tea. He can almost feel the click of Aaron’s tongue as Robert tries to surreptitiously spoon another heap of sugar into his own mug and the image of it lances him, makes his eyes sting horribly. He rubs his cheek against the stiff fabric of his suit jacket, prays that he doesn’t walk into prison with tear tracks on his skin.

They’ll eat you alive, Cain had said. Show them weakness and they’ll eat you alive.

And Robert knows it’s true. If even half of the prisoners in there are anything like Cain then they’ll no doubt tear him to shreds in minutes. He can’t go in there as Robert Sugden - husband, brother, businessman. He has to strip back everything that makes him who he is, take out the emotion, become someone who can handle anyone and anything. Someone strong, someone fearless, someone… someone like his father.

His stomach lurches just as the van brakes hard. He braces his legs against the sudden jolt and feels the engine rumble beneath his feet, shivering up his calves until it cuts out. One of the doors bangs and he strains an ear to listen. Something clinks and the back of the van opens, heavy footsteps thudding up the steps. The first cell door is opened and Robert gets ready, prepares himself for the unknown, and takes one final deep breath before the door of his own cell is unlocked.

The officer comes forward and unlocks his handcuffs. Robert rubs at the tender skin around his wrist and is then led out into the gloriously fresh air. The younger prisoner’s eyes are darting round, perhaps trying to memorise the outside world before it’s shut off from him for the foreseeable. It’s perhaps a wise move but honestly, Robert doesn’t want to remember any part of this. He feels like the guillotine has been looming above him for months now and finally, finally, it’s going to fall.

He just wants it over.

“Right, let’s go,” the other officer says, a heavy, forceful hand on the boy’s shoulder as he pushes him in through a side door. Robert glances at his own prison guard and he nods, gesturing for Robert to follow. His legs have turned to lead but he manages to shuffle inside all the same, every breath like ragged nails against the inside of his throat. He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to be here. He can’t. He can’t.

“Name?”

The younger man is stood in front of a desk and he mumbles something in response. The officer beside him grips his shoulder harder and the young man clears his throat, repeats: “Kieran Thomson.”

“Date of birth?”

Kieran fidgets. “Fourteenth of January 1999.”

The boy is only nineteen. It’s all Robert can think as the officer behind the desk reels off more questions, filling in the form in front of him. He’s nineteen. He shouldn’t be in here. He shouldn’t be anywhere near a place like this.

Neither of us should, a small voice in the back of Robert’s mind whispers, but he pushes it down. He can’t think like that anymore. Not now he’s here. He has to start accepting that this is happening or he’ll drown.

Kieran is led away and Robert steps up, states his name before they even ask. He hoped it would attentiveness but the officer scowls at him instead and he decides not to speak again until he’s spoken to. It’s not something he’s ever been particularly good at.

“Date of birth?”

“Twenty-second of April 1986,” he replies, rubs his thumb against the space where his ring should be. He wonders when the indent will fade, wonders how long it will be before he gets used to its absence. He hopes he never does. It’ll be a sign he’s been in here too long.

His bag is beside him and he picks it up, follows the officer through a door, then another, trips on his own feet as he’s taken along a narrow corridor which smells of testosterone and sweat, and eventually finds himself being ushered into a room near the end. He’s asked to stand in front of the camera, his height measured by the wall behind him, and he turns from one side to the other, the officers brusque but patient as they take him back out and along to yet another room.

“Prison policy states that all prisoners upon arrival must be strip searched before entering their wing. If you could go behind the curtain and remove your top half first, then call us once you’re done and we’ll get started.”

The shame makes him want to peel his skin off, the dread hammering an off-beat rhythm inside his chest as he steps behind the thin, charcoal curtain into a cubicle barely wider than the breadth of his shoulders. His suit jacket is stiff and he removes it with shaking hands, folds it as neatly as he’s able and places it down on the narrow bench bolted to the wall. His shirt is next, the buttons too small for his clumsy fingers, and it takes him three tries just to get the first one undone. The heat rises up his neck, flushes his cheeks, even as he tells himself the officers have seen it all before. They just want to make sure he’s not smuggling any contraband into the prison, they’re not going to be ogling him.

It turns his stomach nonetheless, has to clear his throat before he can say a wavering: “Ready.”

The curtain is pulled aside and one of the guards steps forward, beckoning Robert towards him. “Arms out,” he says and Robert complies immediately, watching the officer intently as he gives him the once over, asks him to turn, checks again. It’s fairly unobtrusive but he knows that this is the easy part. It’s just his chest on display, nothing to worry about, but the next part…

“If you can step back behind the curtain and remove your bottom half. You can put this on now.” The officer hands him a grey sweatshirt that ordinarily Robert wouldn’t be seen dead in. But he supposes that Italian leather jackets and tailored suits aren’t likely to be prison attire. He takes what he’s given and goes back behind the curtain, hauls on the jumper and sighs a little with relief when he realises it smells of washing powder rather than someone else’s skin.

[itwasjustmisplaced]

Perhaps the effort gone in towards cain stepping up to be a dad at exactly the same time as Robert becoming an insta dad is whats so jarring. the audience can see the amount of effort going towards it so we invest more towards that story. Emmerdale tied so much of Seb towards Roberts scheming that now all the emotions surrounding Robs relationship with 'his boy' just feel cheap.I dont mind if Seb is Roberts but i just don't get Emmerdales narrative behind it if he is his.

And therein the problem. It’s cheap and lazy to have the instalove thing when they spent MONTHS having Robert put Rebecca in danger and give no actual fucks about the kid. No conflict. Nothing. They even had Aaron call him out on that crap back in August. It’s lazy storytelling and then on top of it all you rush it. You don’t let it breathe. You make it so it’s so heavy-handed everyone feels it cheap. 

I’m not saying I couldn’t get behind Robert is the dad but then I wish the story hadn’t been so messy. Don’t involve Ross at all.  Do a DNA test. Don’t have Aaron self-harm because of the baby. Don’t have Liv be so against it all. Don’t have Robert do such extreme schemes to the point where giving him access to his kid as some reward for his redemption will feel high key gross. 

Maybe don’t frame the baby as a super negative thing for what is the endgame couple and keep doing it post birth. Maybe just maybe you give the mother some POV so people can actually figure out her motivations and not feel like she’s doing this for the wrong reasons because the character is so flimsy to start with. And maybe just maybe take your time and do this story right. Don’t rush the bits that actually matter. Talk about Jack. Don’t just do one graveyard scene and call it a day. Have Robert come clean to Diane or Vic. I don’t know, just try a bit harder. 

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Could you do one where someone (maybe Cain, Charity, Marlon or even Rhona) notices how domestic robron (especially Robert) can be? The sort of Robert with rolled up sleeves and messed up hair thing? Because apparently I can’t get enough of that ... x

“Cain! Family meal at our place on Thursday. Bring Moira and Isaac yeah? Debs is bringing the kids.” 

“Oh aye and what are we going to eat? You’re always having your dinner in the pub!” Aaron pulls a face at his uncle as he wipes his hands clean of oil.

“You’ll find out. Come on, we haven’t had a family meal since Christmas and…well you and Moira are back on, and me and Robert…it’ll be fun. Anyway, see ya tomorrow. About half six.”

*****

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Robert’s half in the car as Victoria stops him the next morning. He’s in a rush so he’d rather get on but if he knows he can’t ignore her.

“Shopping for tomorrow. Aaron was going to help but Chas rang him in a tizzy so it’s left to me and I’m already behind.“

“You’re cooking?” 

 “Yes. Why does everyone think the pair of us are useless?”

“I didn’t say you were…I just, don’t see the pair of you…you know what, never mind. What time tomorrow?”

“Why don’t you and Adam come over about six before the hordes of Dingles descend on us.”

*****

“Are you sure you don’t want any help love? I’m sure Marlon wouldn’t mind giving you a hand.” Chas asked as she put Aaron’s pint on the bar with a smile.

“We’re perfectly capable. You do remember I lived in France for two years and didn’t starve, yeah?”

“That is something that I can only put down to some kind of miracle. I’ve not once seen you pick up a saucepan since you came home.”

“Aaron! Will you please come home, he’s driving me mad!” Liv, red faced and looking a little crazed is beside him before he’s even had chance to take his first sip. “It’s like Jamie Oliver has moved in.”

“I’m coming home as soon as I’ve finished this. He’s not that bad Liv. You could always give him a hand.”

“He’s already had me tidying!” Aaron just snorts and he can hear Chas’s laughter behind him. “I don’t even know why you’re having people over. Why can’t you all just come here?”

“Because it’s a family dinner!” He sighs. “Right come on, let’s get back. See you tomorrow Mum.”

“Can’t wait.” 

*****

Aaron’s chopping onions when the doorbell rings. He hears Liv stomp over to it and say hello before she clears off upstairs, pounding music turning on moments later. He just sighs, not in the mood for another battle with her.

“Well well well there’s a sight you don’t see every day.” Cain then. “Sugden left you to it?”

“Don’t start Cain, and his name is Robert. As for this, it’s called cooking. When was the last time you tried.” He gestured with the knife, not turning round. “Beer’s in the fridge.”

“Aaron, would you tell your sister to turn that down before I throw it out of the window!”

“I’m not fighting your battles.” He sniffed, itching to rub at his eyes. Robert put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently. “I’ll get my own back for this you know. You know you can buy frozen ones.”

“Aaron I’ve accepted that you have some questionable ideas but that is a step too far.” He pressed a kiss to his temple. “Do you want me to finish them?”

“No. Cain’s here.”

“So I see. Bit early aren’t ya? Moira chucked you out?”

“Oi,” Aaron taps his arm, handing him the chopping board full of onions as the doorbell rang again. “Don’t start you two. Get cooking masterchef while I let the rest of ‘em in.”

Half an hour later the house was full of noise. Liv had come out of hiding and Aaron is sitting on the kitchen worktop watching Robert cook while the rest of the family chat. He can’t drag his gaze away from him, shirt sleeves rolled up

“You’re distracting me.”

“I’m not doing anything.” He tries to look innocent as he reaches out to grab the front of Robert’s shirt to pull him close enough for a kiss. He’s found himself a lot more comfortable doing it in front of people since they got back together and Robert’s obvious happiness makes it worth the comments from the family. “Do you lot want feeding?”

“It’s just nice to see the two of you happy love, that’s all. We’re not used to seeing you like this, all happy and domestic. I thought you were going to be helping with the cooking.”

“I am.” Robert scoffs beside him. “If I do it he’ll only take over anyway, it’s easier like this, right Robert.”

“Yes, dear.” He laughed as Robert danced out of the way as he pushed at his shoulder. “Get them sat down, it’s nearly ready.”

[ifonlyrhona]

Favourite Outfit

Written for day 4 of Robert Week on tumblr.

Day 4 (7th September) - “That’s my favourite outfit on you.”;

This is my first time ever writing smut, it felt awkward, hopefully it doesn't read that way, but this is what popped into my mind when I read the prompt.

I’ve put it under a read more due to content. Not sure if smut is allowed in Robert week, apologies if not.

                                --------------------------------------------------

Robert was half way through breakfast when Aaron came through. He grabbed a slice of toast of his plate and managed to avoid Robert trying to slap his hand.

"Can't stop" he said laughing, "I said I'd give Cain a hand at the garage this afternoon" and then he was gone.

Robert didn't give it much thought, he had plenty to keep him busy today, including one very important meeting that if it went right might just bring in a huge cash boost to the scrapyard. Despite all that he was still home before Aaron , relaxing on the sofa, enjoying the peace and quiet with Liv out at Gabby's.

He heard the click of the front door opening but didn't look up at first, too engrossed in the programe he was watching, that was until he caught sight of Aaron out of the corner of his eye. He felt his jaw drop open in appreciation as he turned his head to watch his completely oblivious husband make his way into the kitchen and grab a beer out of the fridge.

"Want one" he said holding the can up to show him, but Robert was already out of his seat and heading towards him. He grabbed the beer out of his hand and put it down on the side.

"Hey I was just...." Aaron didn't get chance to finish before Robert's mouth stopped him. His mouth crashing into his, hungry and insistent.

"Wow, that was um, unexpected" Aaron said, his cheeks flushed red, when they both came up for air.

"Not really" Robert said before pushing him up against the counter and kissing him again. Aaron opened his mouth slightly and Robert took full advantage, his tongue slipping past those amazing lips and probing into the inviting wetness. He slipped his hands under Aaron t shirt and pulled it up over his head in one swift move, breaking the kiss and giving them both chance to breath again.

"I've not even had a shower yet" Aaron protested starting to try to slip past him and go upstairs, but Robert was having none of it and grabbed him by the waist pulling him back against him and nipping his earlobe playfully.

"I know, my dirt little grease monkey" he said into his neck. He pulled back to see the grin on the other man's face.

"Oh, you like this do you" Aaron smirked as he pointed at the dirt on his face and the blue overalls tied around his waist.

"You have no idea" Robert groaned into his neck as Aaron pulled him to him and squeezed his ass. Both of them were rock hard and the friction was mind blowing.

"Why don't you tell me then" Aaron rubbed his thigh against his crotch and Robert thought he might explode then and there. Robert backed him up so that he was leaning back against the counter again.

"Better yet I'll show you" he said, he reached down and undid where Aaron had tied the overalls around his waist and let them drop to the floor. But when Aaron went to kick them off completely he stopped him. The younger man looked a little awkward to be standing there, in just his boxer briefs with his overalls bunched around his ankles but when Robert sank to his knees pulling his boxers down with him that expression changed. His eyes rolled back into his head as Robert took him in his mouth. The sound coming from his mouth making Robert's own cock twitch. He groaned around Aaron and pulled him closer, cupping his buttocks with his hands and looking up at him with hungry eyes. Seeing the look of total bliss on his lovers face, the way his mouth hung open in pleasure almost had him cumming in his pants, but he wasn't going to let that happen. He wanted to be inside him, feel him around him clenched tight.

Aaron reached down and put his hand in his hair and Robert let him control the rhythym, he loved letting Aaron take control like this.

"Robert" Aaron grunted and it was almost like a plea, Robert knew what it meant, they'd done this often enough. He pulled away, replacing his mouth with his hand, his other hand cupping his balls and tugging slightly and then Aaron was cumming. His knees sagged slightly and Robert kept one hand on his cock, milking every last drop as it mostly landed on his face, but he put the other hand on his waist to help keep him upright.

Aaron looked down at him his face a mixture of satisfaction and embarassment that always seemed to follow an orgasm. Robert licked his lips where they were wet and then he reached down to grab the loose arm of the overall, using it to wipe his face clean, before standing back up and kissing Aaron again.

"Well that was..." Aaron rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Good?" Robert smirked.

"Interesting" Aaron offered instead.

"But good as well though?" Robert suddenly felt self conscious.

"Oh yeah, definitely good" Aaron smirked back. "Do you want to finish this off upstairs"

"God yes" Robert kissed him again, he couldn't get enough.

Aaron bent down to pull his overalls off his feet but Robert once again stopped him.

"No keep them on" he whispered into his ear. Aaron gave him a strange look before pulling them up and tying them back round his waist.

"You coming" he asked heading for the spiral staircase.

"No, but I soon will be" Aaron rolled his eyes at the lame joke. Robert gave his arse a slap as he chased him up the stairs.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They lay in bed afterwards side by side, sweaty and panting slightly. Aaron rolled onto his side and Robert copied so that they both lay facing each. Aaron reached out and put his hand on his chest, fingers stroking the scar on his chest like he liked to do.

"So the overalls then?" he said finally.

"Yeah" Robert grinned at him. "Didn't you know? That’s my favourite outfit on you".

"Good to know" Aaron leaned forward and rested his head on his chest. "I'm pretty sure I could pick a few more shifts up at the garage now I know that. I really need to have that shower now though" he sat up with a sigh, as unwilling as Robert to break contact.

"Mind if I join you?" Robert asked but he already knew the answer, after all they'd designed the bathroom around the extra large shower cubicle for a reason.

Aaron didn't answer but when he got to the bathroom door he turned and winked at him.

"Come on then big boy, ready for round two"

Robert laughed out loud at the ridiculous nickname, accurate but ridiculous none the less. He knew Aaron only said it to make him laugh. Well for that he was going to make him squeal. He jumped off the bed with more energy than he realised he had left and chased him into the bathroom, jumping over the the discarded overalls where they lay on the floor next to his own clothes.

The door shut behind them but Aaron's squeal echoed around the whole flat, mission accomplished.

[amandaj718]

Emmerdale Live and Organized - June 15, 2017

Happy Thursday!  Hope everyone is having a great week. I can’t drink during this episode, so this is going to hurt. The hour-long episode. Let’s go! 

So, I didn’t get my Snickers candy bar (we all need to eat snickers) but I’m going to try and be cool headed during this episode.  Just going to ride all of this out one episode at a time. Enjoy each episode one at a time.

Leyla/Vanessa/Rhona

I’m Vanessa. I wake up and need coffee like its air.

Leyla singing. YES. I love it.

Right. Rhona, I know you are brave. You are a very brave woman. You got this!

Attic Crew/Lydia/Nicola

I love all things Lydia so…yay!

Kerry’s impression of Chrissie was great. Adorable.  

Jai/Priya/Chrissie

He cleaned out their joint account. OUCH. Not cool.

Chrissie is all over the place these days. Geez. I love it. Lachlan is not a child. No. He is not. Not in my eyes.  

Priya reading Chrissie her rights. LOVE THIS!

Robert/Aaron/Adam

Ok. That was quick, let's remind you of what has happened again scene. Ok then.

I always wanted to see the three of them hang out.  While I know Robert wants Aaron to himself, he has to have a social life. Also, it's nice to see all three of them hang out. Bring it on!

It is also canon that Robert likes to shop, and Aaron likes to complain about shopping. Love it. Love it so much.

I enjoy Robert and Adam talking, but both of them are making things worse. Stop talking. You are upsetting Aaron even more.  However, I’m here for Robert and Adam: Screw Ups™ but loveable to be friends now. Please.

Gerry/Lachlan/Chrissie/Bernice

Bernice is in hell. Oh god. “Glass in your coffee…” Ha. No one is here for Chrissie today.

Gerry is winning me over, and that worries me. He is trouble. Like Lachlan. I can tell.

Rhona/Marlon/Paddy/Vanessa

Just tell them! Paddy and Marlon would have your back in a second! I swear. I know this. Rhona. OH no! Rhona! It will be ok. I know it will be. It has to be. You are a strong character. Just take that first step.

Rhona is strong enough. YES. YES YOU ARE.

Zoe Henry? Yes? All the awards. ALL OF THEM.

It’s out. Now what?

Adam/Victoria

Victoria is still angry. Understandable. Oh, look. Victoria “best friend” is calling. Yay. (I’m trying to be calm and nice. I swear)

Pierce/Paddy

Oh no. HELL NO. Paddy! Don’t do this. I know you don’t have all the details but come on.  She doesn’t want Pierce. She is falling apart because of Pierce.

NOPE. NOPE. I CAN’T. HEARTBURN.

He is getting all the guys onto his side. Evil little….*angry swearing* OH no. They are going to think she was high on pills and lying about the rape. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. There is evidence! EVIDENCE!

Show of hands. Should we cut off Pierce's dick with a dull knife?

Lachlan/Gerry/Belle

Stop making me like you Gerry! STOP IT. I mean it. *giggles*

I don’t get Belle and Lachlan. I really don’t.

Victoria/Rebecca

Victoria is bordering on crazy now.  Totally vulnerable. She doesn’t have Adam. Her work is slowing down, and the pub didn’t look that busy. She needs a friend, and she has attached to the worst one.

Give the Sugdens REAL Friends 2017!

Rebecca only came back after getting the massive amount of messages from Victoria. Just saying. (I’m trying to be nice. I am, but I don’t trust Rebecca. Not at all)

I think she is playing her. I don’t trust Rebecca at all. Why would someone with money need to sofa surf? COME ON. I think she is playing the person who is desperate about babies.

Wait? Lawrence called to tell her to come home and that is was ok. Also, Chrissie had her back in every way. WHAT?!?!

Leyla/Priya/Pete

HEARTBURN. SO MUCH HEARTBURN.

Leyla is going to be heartbroken. So heartbroken. My heart. My poor heart. Her poor heart. Hey! That is how to show a friend who is truly upset by what she has done! Just saying.

Manufactured Drama. Yay.

Pierce/Rhona/Vanessa

AHHHH! RUNNN! NO. Stay. Make him leave Rhona. You are stronger now. You got this.

Burn him with fire! NOW.

Oh. Look at the handheld camera work. Beautiful. Good for you show! I love that. It works perfectly for this scene.

Thank god. Vanessa is there. Thank God. OH, MY GOD. ASSHOLE.

YES! SOMEONE SAID IT. RAPIST. PIERCE THE RAPIST!

Robron/Vadam/Whites

How interesting that everyone is in one place to see Rebecca. Yay (Bored voice. I’m trying)

I’m sorry but this whole independent stuff isn’t playing well with me. Then again, I don’t like Rebecca, so nothing will make me trust or like her.  

Do you know why Robert and Aaron are snipping at each other? They stopped communicating after the reveal episode. They need to start talking again, or else it will get worse. Ugh. Show. Let them talk this out. Talk about anything. Come on!

Is Victoria going to wipe Rebeccas butt too? I thought she wanted to be independent? She has a live in maid and instant supporter.

‘It’s Just Speculation!’

Seriously. Don’t forget to guess who is getting stabbed next week! My guesses? Cain, Harriet, Adam or Ross. Who do you think! Tell me below! 

As usual, I heed my warning: DON’T GO ONTO THE MESSAGE BOARDS! It will only spread stupid rumors and cause you unneeded misery!

What do you think? Tell me below or tweet me @AmandaJ718. Until next time, see you around in Emmerdale!

[rustandruin]

daddy lessons

AO3

“Listen to me closely, because I’m only going to do this once,” Cain tells him, gently lifting Isaac out of the stroller and laying him across the blanket he’s placed on the dining table. He starts sliding the baby’s jeans off.

Aaron looks at him in surprise. “Wait. Are you showing me how to change a nappy?”

Or, after Aaron avoids yet another nappy change, Cain takes matters into his own hands. [Set during a recent episode.]

“Here he is! Fresh as a daisy!”

He watches as his mother hands Seb back to Aaron, who takes him from her gratefully. “Thanks, Gran. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Anytime Luv. That’s what great grandmas are for,” Faith says, smiling down at them both. “He’s a cute one, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Aaron replies, smiling down at the infant in his arms. “Though don’t tell Robert that. He’s already got a photo show cued up on his phone, and he won’t even let me get out of it. And I’m in half of them!”

(Cain snorts at that. Because of course Sugden would.)

A second later, Faith’s attention is on Isaac, the baby currently sitting back in his stroller, calmly watching everything unfold as he sucks on a toy. “Oh, I didn’t mean to exclude you, Isaac, my love. You’re looking sharp as well.”

His mother finally addresses him. “I take it Moira dressed him then?”

Aaron snickers at that in the background, but the older man ignores it.

“No. Actually, I did.”

He sounds annoyed and defiant, but that’s both because his mother seems to always bring out this side of him and because he’s actually quite proud of what his son’s wearing today. He may not really be much of an expert on babies or fashion, but Isaac’s wrapped up nice and warm, and they’d actually gotten a few compliments on their way to the pub, with complete strangers cooing over his son’s outfit. For half a second he’d even considered sending Moira a picture of the whole spectacle, with the caption, “See. Not so bad, am I?” (But that’s only because she’d laughed at him for half a day once because he hadn’t realised that Isaac might need a shirt under his overalls, which honestly is a common mistake to make.)

Maybe Sugden is onto something with this photo show business.

Faith just raises her eyebrows at him and gives him an impressed nod. “Well, I’m proud of you son. Couldn’t have been easy.”

He opens his mouth to respond, but she’s already off, flitting away to talk to Eric as he walks through the door — as if the pair of them don’t already spend too much time together.

Shaking his head, he turns his attention back to his nephew, who’s busy bouncing Seb on his knee, pretending he isn’t listening in, an amused smile threatening to break out across his face.

“Oi, you better not be smirkin’ at me,” Cain says, letting his tone get just a little bit more threatening. “What’s this about you not changing any nappies?”

Aaron’s smile vanishes at that. “What? Has Robert been snitchin’ on me?”

Cain gives the younger Dingle a pointed look. “No, he didn’t have to. I saw you earlier, tryin’ to pawn it off on Chas.”

He studies his nephew’s face. “What’s the hold-up? You havin’ second thoughts or somethin’?”

From the look on Aaron’s face at even the insinuation of that, he knows that’s not the case. (Not that he needed the confirmation to know that the younger man is all in on this relationship and the responsibilities that come with it. He’d said as much on Chas’ birthday, and Aaron Dingle is not a liar — at least about things like this.)

So he simply waits for an answer.

Aaron squirms under his stare for half a minute before sighing.

“There’s no hold-up. It’s all just…” He gives the older man a sheepish grin and shrugs. “It’s all just a bit disgustin’ isn’t it?”

He must read the confusion on Cain’s face, because he follows it up with, “It’s not that I’ll never do it. I know I can’t avoid it forever, it’s just that whenever he poos, there’s always so much of it. And I’m not sure where it all comes from because all we’ve been feedin’ him is milk.”

And suddenly Cain gets it. He snorts in understanding.

“Alright. Come with me,” he says, getting to his feet and bending over to pick up Isaac.

Aaron doesn’t move, just sits there, holding Seb with a confused look on his face. Cain glares at him. “Don’t make me ask again.”

The younger man all but jumps to his feet.

:::::

A few moments later, they’re both standing in the living room at the back. Isaac parked in his stroller, and Aaron perched on the arm of the sofa, bouncing Seb on his knee.

“What’re we doin’ here?” He asks, confused.

“Do you love him?” Cain asks, fetching the bag tucked under his son’s stroller and unpacking it on the dining room table.

“Of course I do, he’s my son.”

The word sounds a little strange coming out of the young man’s mouth, but only because Cain wasn’t expecting to ever hear that word from him so soon. He’d thought his nephew was a couple of years out from becoming a dad. If anything, he’s impressed by the fierceness in Aaron’s tone as he says it. Like he’s laying it down as a challenge.

“Right. Then listen to me closely, because I’m only going to do this once,” Cain replies, fishing Isaac out of the stroller and laying him across the blanket he’s placed on the dining table. He starts sliding the baby’s jeans off.

Aaron looks at him in surprise, his disbelieving amusement coming across nice and loud. “Wait. Are you showing me how to change a nappy?”

Cain fixes him with a firm stare, the kind that tends to get across that he means 100% business. His nephew sobers up at that, ceasing his bounces for a second.

“The first time I did this, I needed at least a million of them baby wipes,” he tells him quietly as he goes about the whole process of taking off the diaper Isaac currently has on. Predictably, it smells like death itself. “Because you’re right, it’s absolutely disgusting what these little fellas are able to produce with absolutely no real food in their diets.”

He thinks back to his sheer panic that he might get some of Isaac’s shit on him — something that hadn’t been helped by his mother’s story of how he himself used to burst out of his own nappies. Thankfully, everything had gone relatively smoothly, with him just getting a tiny bit on him in the process. But the whole experience had left him with a sobering realisation that had only really crystalised when he’d gotten back home and had to do the whole thing all over again and by himself. (And if he’s being honest with himself, it’s something that’s been happening every time since.)

He looks down at Isaac, as he lifts his little legs and slides the fresh diaper under his now-clean bottom, his movements having become more self-assured with experience and time — something he’d never have considered happening the first time he’d done this — and continues, “But I’ll tell you what. You think you love that little boy now. Then just wait until you’ve changed your fiftieth nappy and you realise you’ve got a little bit of his poo on your forehead, but that you’re too tired to do anything about it, and that you’re just glad he’s finally stopped crying. Because you’ll realise, that if you can get through that, then there’s nothin’ you won’t do for him.”

Now done, he slides Isaac’s jeans back onto him, his son giving him a bright smile as he does so, almost like a silent, Thanks, Dad.

He finds himself automatically smiling right back in response. Don’t mention it, son.

When he finally does look up at Aaron, he finds himself at the receiving end of his Dingle staredown. Only instead of a joke at his expense or a comment on his display of vulnerability, he gets a, “I guess I never thought of it like that.”

Cain nods in response. Because that was him once.

“Good. Because next time, you’re changing him.” He nods at Isaac as he says that. It’s meant as a joke, but he’s got his serious face on just so he can watch his nephew brick it.

“Wait, what?!” Aaron exclaims in surprise, looking as flabbergasted as he’d expected.

Cain raises his eyebrows at that, extending the joke a little longer.

“Are you saying you don’t love your cousin?”

:::::

He’s just finished loading up the dishwasher — they’d decided to give Liv a pass considering today’s news — when he hears Gerry’s reaction from over by the sofas where he and Robert are seated, the latter busy playing with Seb, his first real chance to have done so all day.

“Pee-ew!” The teenage boy exclaims. “Who’d have thought somethin’ so small could smell so bad?!”

He fans the air in front of his face. “Makes me glad, I’m not a baby. Imagine having to smell that and know you’re the one responsible.”

“Yours aren’t much better you know,” Robert responds on his son’s behalf. “Don’t think we can’t smell them. I’d bring a candle to the office if I didn’t think you might burn the entire cabin down.”

Gerry has the good sense to at least blush at this news.

Having said his piece, Robert slowly gets to his feet, bending down to pick up the baby.

“Actually, hang on,” Aaron tells him, stepping forward towards them. “I can do it.”

He walks over and holds his hands open, giving his husband an expectant look.

“You sure?” Robert asks, pleasantly surprised by this latest twist, but unable to resist the urge to pull his leg — not that it stops him from handing over the smelly infant. “You haven’t exactly been volunteering for nappy duty.”

Aaron simply shrugs as he takes him.

“Yeah. Well, gotta start sometime.”

NOTES

This is actually my first time writing from Cain's point of view, so I really hope I got his character right. As for Aaron's, I feel like his views in this are fitting with what we've seen on screen. He's pretty much declared that he considers Seb his son by calling Chas, "Nana," so that's how I've treated it since that scene was supposed to have taken place right before this one.

Also, I hope I don't offend anyone who IS a parent with what Cain says about changing Isaac's diaper. While I myself am not a parent, this is something I've heard both my mum and my cousin with kids say about their own experiences of changing diapers. So I borrowed from that.

If you have any thoughts, comments, questions, or concerns, please go ahead and drop me a line below, or find me on Ao3 under her_dark_materials

[newagesispage]

                                                                              April 2017

PAGE RIB

*****Welcome to sexual assault awareness month.. Be vigilant and help your fellow man or woman!

*****Lady Gaga will replace Beyonce at Coachella

*****Will they ever air the Gary Cole episode of Law and Order SVU?

*****Things are heating up in the impeachment trial of Alabama’s Gov. Robert Bentley. His lawyer claims he was denied due process. The other side says that this is just delay.

*****Does ABC have a hacking problem? I can’t even remember how many times certain people start to talk on different programs and boom.. cuts ou, jammed or temporarily interrupted with something out of left field. Is it local.. Does this happen to everyone?

*****Madonna is adopting 4 year old twins.

*****Ten percent of the bidders for the border wall are Hispanic.

*****The second to last season of The Americans is rockin’!!

*****”We know he’s crazy, we have to start protecting ourselves.” This is just one of the lines from Dave Letterman in a New York magazine interview that centered mostly on Trump. He has no qualms about calling things out. “How is a white supremacist the chief advisor to our President?” “If we get a President sometime soon who does not have a mental disorder, twitter will be useful.” You must look it up, it is worth a read!

*****Rihanna received Harvard’s Humanitarian award.

*****Roger Stone, big supporter and surrogate for Trump tried to discredit the FBI over the Iraq war. Charlie Rose had to set him straight and tell him it was a CIA report that had revealed the possible weapons of mass destruction. The man, who has a Nixon tattoo that spans his shoulders, is also under investigation for collusion with the Russians.

*****The White house is talking about creating propaganda to whip up the anti- immigrant hysteria even more: VOICE: Victims of immigration crime engagement. Some call this racist and how genocide begins.

*****Dancing with the stars is back with Charo, Mr.T, Nancy Carrigan, Simone Biles and Chris Kattan.

*****Radio shows have come full circle to become podcasts. The more things change, the more they stay the same. We still seem to like to just listen to people talk. Check out Karina Longworth with You Must Remember This. With Feud (next up for Feud: Charles and Di) going strong on FX, it is a good time to listen to her Bette/Joan episode. With Manson in the news again, there is a 12 part episode on his part in Hollywood.

*****Ann- Margret is back with Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Alan Arkin in Going in Style.

*****Baskets has been given the greenlight for season 3!

*****Louis CK and Albert Brooks are bringing the animated The Cops to TBS.

*****Shemar Moore will be making an appearance on the season finale of Criminal Minds. His character will be bringing the team some info about ‘Scratch.” Shemar recently told ET that he wanted Morgan to call Penelope ‘Sugar tits’ instead of ‘baby girl” , but the writers wouldn’t go for that. He is also filming a CBS pilot reboot of S.W.A.T. The Criminal Minds finale airs on May 10.

*****Should we have to put up with Jeff Sessions and his lies about the Russian ambassador? We have direct evidence of deception. Comey made it official that the Trump camp is under investigation for possible collusion with the Russian involvement with the campaign. Funny that he always shot his mouth off about Hillary but was mum on this. The Republicans questioned Comey mostly about the leaks which is important but also a great distraction.  The FBI reveals that Russia did not even try to hide their tracks. It is possible they were just gathering and then when they dumped the info they went through an intermediary. **Sean Spicer claims that Paul Manafort, (who seems to have many ties to Russia and who ran the campaign for a time and ran the RNC) had a very limited role with the campaign.  The bugging of Trump tower was laid to rest but just not by scary clown and co. They seem to believe that GCHQ, British intelligence was involved as well. Why don’t the Republican Senators get some fucking balls and quit defending this freak? Let’s hone in on this Russian connection and get this freak out of there.**Ivanka is getting an office and top clearance? Is this an Edith Wilson situation? Does the family have to keep an eye on him? Is it time to face the sad fact that he may have dementia or a mental disorder? BTW Wendy Williams mentioned that she would rather be Tiffany than Ivanka because of all the responsibility and the whole wife and daughter thing going on. Tiffany gets to be out there living it up.  Love that!**Pence is no prize either, he is always behind Trump looking like a bobble head doll. Be aware if we end up with him!

*****Hillary B. Smith is on General Hospital for a stint. Oh how I missed ya, Nora!!

*****Everyone is giving backlash about cutting funding for PBS and meals on wheels. Mick Mulvaney, director of the office of management and budget tells us it is only a 3% cut but I am guessing we will now have 3% more hungry people. He explains that a lot of people do not want their tax dollars to fund the National endowment for the arts. I do not want mine to add millions to the military budget or Mar a Lago trips or Melania’s NY shutdown (the gossip is that Trump and the first lady are basically separated). They don’t seem to give a fuck about that.**It is so great that the ‘Trump health care plan’ fell apart but Pelosi and Hoyer et al. need to stop crowing and keep fighting against the rest of the crap the majority is trying to get by with and fix the things that need fine tuning on the ACA.

***** Does anybody else find Feud and The American’s Alison Wright absolutely irresistible?? She is so fabulous!!

*****It looks like Sears and Kmart may be in the verge of going out of business.

*****Jared Kushner’s role just gets bigger and bigger. He has been appointed to reconfigure the government and deal with the border wall and negotiate peace in the Middle East. One guy? OK!

***** CBS Sunday morning informed us about the wonders of Denmark. They do have the highest cancer rates and taxes but they have the highest wages and lowest poverty rates too. They live by the word Hygge which means live simply.

*****The White House did not even send an official rep to This Week, they just sent some old buddy of Trumps. Will they start to run out of new faces to defend them? ** Bret Stephens at the Wall Street Journal wrote, “The president clings to his assertions like a drunk to an empty gin bottle.” And Bill Moyers wrote,” There’s a smell of treason in the air.” Samantha Bee likens Trumps military spending to an insecure guy who tries to make his penis look bigger. Bill Maher wonders if constitutionalist Judge Gorsuch will wonder ‘What would the slaveholders do?’ Michael Moore wrote, “Historians in the near future will mark today,3-28-17, as the day the extinction of human life on earth began, thanks 2 Donald Trump.”** Donald Trump Jr. criticized the London Mayor after the attacks.

*****And just as Scary clown 45 signed the repeal to wipe out Obama’s climate change record, An inconvenient truth sequel Truth to Power is coming out.

*****The Rolling Stones are nominated for best blues act and best blues album in the Jazz FM awards.

*****There is no clean coal!

*****The Daytime Emmy’s were announced. The Talk and Ellen lead the pack with 8 nominations. There are 5 for the View and the announcement fucked up their names. I’ll be routing for CBS Sunday morning and CBS this morning. I can’t believe that The Pioneer woman was not nominated for outstanding culinary program. I guess I will route for Trisha’s Southern Kitchen. Days of our Lives was nominated for show, directing and writing. There was best actor noms for Billy Flynn (Chad) and Vincent Irizarry (Deimos). Kate Mansi (the old Abigail) was nominated for best supporting actress and John Aniston (Victor) for supporting actor. Go Days!!!

*****The small Illinois town of West Frankfurt stood up for Carlos Hernandez. Hernandez was picked up when the immigrant ban enforcers were looking for someone else. The town vouched for him and called this out as unfair.

*****The FDA has approved food to protect food. Edipeel is a spray made out of food that can put a thin shield on fruit and protect it 5 times longer than normal. It is edible and tasteless. It will be invaluable in places with no refrigeration and help with waste.

*****Patrick Stewart is applying for American citizenship to help with the fight we are having in here at home. Agitate..Agitate..Agitate.

*****Looks like NBC has given the greenlight to an Ellen DeGeneres game show.

*****Tom Hanks sent the White house press corps an espresso machine with a note that read: “Keep up the good fight for truth, justice and the American way. Especially for the truth part.” This is a tradition he started with the Bush administration.

*****Get ready for a Big band theory spinoff.

*****Steve Martin will teach an online comedy course. The cost is $90 on Masterclass. Others who have taught are Christina Aguilera, Kevin Spacey, James Patterson, Dustin Hoffman, Werner Herzog and Aaron Sorkin. They will soon be joined by Shonda Rhimes and Hans Zimmer.

***** Caterpillar was raided by the Feds which included the IRS, CID, Inspector General and export enforcement. Word is they may be indicted for tax evasion. This could be from a 2009 lawsuit alleging the company shifted profits overseas and to offshore shell companies to avoid paying more than 2 billion in taxes.

*****Hall and Oates and Tears for Fears are set to tour.

*****This time it’s real. You see warnings on the internet all the time about your privacy rights but this time look out! The Senate has voted to repeal a set of rules aimed at protecting online data. Once again the big companies win under this administration. This could let internet providers share info. New Jersey Rep. Frank Pallone Jr. states “At a time when our personal data is more vulnerable than ever, it’s baffling that senate republicans would eliminate the few privacy protections Americans have today.” The word is that millions are pouring in for their votes. Ted Cruz reportedly got 2 mil. We will be paying the big cable giants to sell our info to the highest bidder and this could keep the FCC from ever again establishing similar consumer privacy protections. And this from a man who wants privacy with his taxes. Some of the wealthy are claiming they will buy all the info of those that voted to sold us down the river and release it to the public.

*****Robert Redford has me excited about 2 films. The first is out now about the afterlife called The Discovery. It also stars Riley Keough, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Segel and Rooney Mara. The other has distribution rights just coming together. The Old man and the gun is the true story of a thief with Sissy Spacek, Danny Glover and Casey Affleck.

*****A tribute to the music of Merle Haggard will be held in Nashville with Keith Richards, Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp, Loretta Lynn, The Avett Brothers, Alison Krauss and Billy Gibbons.

*****Microfiber is causing great problems with water pollution. I knew I hated fleece.

*****There has been an official request for scary clown’s tax returns.

*****”These are not good times.” –John McCain. McCain is also very worried that North Korea’s leader is not rational and needs to be handled. It is kind of frightening when our own leader is not rational.

*****Look for the live album Charlie Watts meets Danish Radio Big Band. The music which includes Stones covers was recorded in 2010 and will drop on April 21.

*****As soon as the ACA was saved, the blame game started! Scary clown and his cohorts blamed Washington for cancelling the health care vote stating that “It’s a lot more rotten than we thought.” Trump said “I’m glad it’s behind me” and then tweeted blame to the republicans and the democrats and the very conservative republicans and it just goes on. He invited us to watch his beloved friend Judge Jeanine who minced no words in that Paul Ryan needs to step down. He is adamant that he does not blame Ryan. Ok. Jeanine scolded that we all knew a businessman would not know how to legislate but he made it clear during the election that he knew more than anybody. Is the world  laughing at our “art of the deal”  tough New Yorker president who was suckered by the Wisconsin dude. Trump is like the armchair quarterback who is finally thrown into the game and does not have a clue. **Bannon bullied and threatened the night before the “vote”, telling the house members that they had no choice but it seemed to work against him and wouldn’t that be the President’s job? ** The topper was Colbert using the schoolhouse rock song, “I’m just a bill” which ended with the bill blowing his brains out.

*****Some high school kids came up with We Dine Together for the new or loner kids to make some new friends. Look it up and help to open chapters locally!!

*****Zac Brown is coming out with new music.

*****Trump has now rescinded the order Obama signed requiring firms that do business with the federal government prove compliance with federal laws and executive orders. This makes Trump look like he’s doing the right thing by leaving one of Obama’s executive orders in place that prohibits the federal government from contracting with firms that discriminate based on sexual orientation and gender identity. People from the LGBT community would have to take steps to enforce it now.** College basketball in North Carolina sort of forced the repeal of the bathroom law but they leave a regulation of bathroom access solely to the control of the legislature. It prevents local government from passing or amending their own non -discrimination ordinances pertaining to private employment.

*****There is a growing number of the French who want President Obama to run for President of France. It is possible if he were so inclined. One only has to be a resident, not a natural born citizen to run for President in Great Britain, Israel, Germany, France, Canada and France.

*****The Mount Kushmore Wellness retreat tour is coming to 16 cities with Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, Cypress Hill, Method Man and Redman.

*****Are all the Russians visiting Trump and his cohorts buying their vodka at Costco?

*****Apparently Beau Biden’s widow is dating his brother Hunter Biden.

*****This year’s Seattle Hemp fest runs August 18-20.

*****Who knew that Bryan Cranston dubbed a lot of the monster voices from Japanese to English for the original Power Rangers.

*****Dimitri Rybolovlev, a Russian fertilizer businessman bought a Trump home in Florida for twice what it was worth. This was the most expensive home sale in U.S. history.  He and the Presidents planes cross paths all the time though there have been many denials of this. A Russian ambassador was sitting in the front row of Trumps first press conference as President. Reports say that Scary clown went ballistic in the oval office when he discovered that Sessions recused himself. He left for Florida without his senior staff.** Now there is an inquiry about his business with an Iranian family known as the Corleoni’s of the Caspian.

*****Ben Carson called slaves immigrants and then walked it back.

*****Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep are making a film about The Pentagon Papers to be called The Post.

*****North Korea fired 5 missiles into the ocean.

*****Beef Products Inc. is suing ABC over a story they did on a meat product they called pink slime. The judge said the suit could move forward.

*****Rachel Maddow got some backlash for overdoing it on her big Trump taxes show. Some think the President himself put them out.

*****SNL’s Weekend Update is going prime time. They are also going live in all time zones on April 15th.

*****Mischa Barton has filed a lawsuit over a sex tape that was filmed without her consent.

*****A tweet from Mcdonald’s had some pretty bad things to say about our President. The tweet was taken down in 20 minutes and they claim they were compromised.

*****Days alert: Did we see Nicole on the run with that poor baby? She is more street smart than to be taken advantage of by a street hustler at the little hotel. C’mon! I hate it when characters I like leave and the way they write them off seems more exciting than when they were there. Like, I want to see Teresa’s character on her secret adventure right now. I am sick of Chad thinking about Gabby moments from his past, enough! And then bam!!,  Deimos hits him where it hurts. Since Roman has retired, are they putting him in charge of the Brady Pub? I think that is perfect, he wants to take it a little easier and everybody’s favorite meeting place in Salem needs the next generation to take over.** Everyone in this country was talking about health care but I think most soap characters must have great insurance. Especially lately on Days, transplants, cancer, poisoning.. the hospital has been full up.** Hooray.. Adrienne picked Lucas, it’s about fucking time!!

*****Ben Affleck is recently out of rehab.

*****It looks like they are talking about remaking ‘The Fly’.

*****Netflix has the global rights to Orson Welles unfinished final film ’The Other Side of the Wind’.

*****Robert Blake is getting married again. His third wife is Pam Hudak that he had dated back in 1991 and previously lived in his guest house.

*****Can we all vote by mail yet?? What is the problem??

*****Looks like Kyle Bush is a bit of a hot head. He went after Joey Lagano after a race.

*****The Japanese prime minister was telling us what happened in some meetings he had with the Pres. I guess we are getting official news by way of Japan now since scary clown tells us nothing of any real importance.

*****Will Scary Clown 45 bring war as a jobs program? Where are the jobs he promised? There are many empty offices in Washington right now that could be filled with employed workers. He has many jobs to give and he won’t do it and they are firing people left and right. Look at the money we spend on getting him to Mir a Lago and the delusional investigations he wants into wiretapping etc. Just think of what a poor family could do with that money. This administration is gutting the EPA and that is just the beginning. The only good news is the stock market is up. He really behaves more like a cult leader than a President. He talks only in front of the people who worship him. I’m sure he can’t believe his dumb luck that so many Americans are uninformed. He communicates in “facts” that only he seems to understand. He sends out his minions to spread HIS intellectual pollution back to their audience of one. Charles Manson is of ill health and perhaps is not long for this world so I guess scary clown 45 is the new evil, the deplorables are the new ‘family’.

*****The liberal rednecks of comedy make me wonder when those raised with hate and or narrow teachings will rebel against their parents and become liberals filled with acceptance.

*****What is all this touching on late night talk shows?

*****Climate March on March 29. Scientists March on April 22.

*****Charlie Rose is back.

*****”The level of complete corruption from the fossil fuel industry that marks this administration is like nothing we’ve ever seen.”- Environmentalist Bill Mckibben.

*****What kind of a person could actually believe that a ‘billionaire’ who has tried to buy up sanctuaries to put up more towers with his name on them would help the environment? Will these same people who allowed themselves to be whipped up into a frenzy of fear and anxiety love it when Yellowstone disappears? Well, they do seem to be on board with everything else so perhaps they don’t care. The pain of this election is unbearable but will some good come of it? Will he and friends who say no to everything that isn’t their idea or does not help the richest of us learn anything from this? Will their eyes be open to what it really feels like when they all get on top of you? I mean are they capable of seeing what it really fucking feels like? If they hate government so much, why do they want to be a part of it? Well, of course to tip the scales in their favor.

*****Arnold Schwarzenegger has quit Celebrity Apprentice.

*****The Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg News and Time will not attend White House briefings if other outlets (CNN, New York Times etc.) are not allowed in. Good for them but perhaps they need to keep working behind the scenes on digging for the truth about scary clown 45 but not reporting every little thing he distracts us with. For instance the ‘wiretap’ stuff is proven wrong so quit talking about it and move on!** Rex Tillerson told a reporter, “I didn’t want this job.” Sources say Tillerson shuffles in and out through back doors ignoring important diplomats and his minions are not allowed to look him in the eye. Tell me this is not true!

*****Sam Rodriguez Jr., who led a prayer at the Trump Inauguration is giving a safe haven to those worried about immigration raids. His New Season Christian Worship Center also gives shelter to victims of domestic violence.

*****A young intruder jumped the fence at the White House and 2 more followers have tried to get in too.

*****Trivia lovers: We have a new worst President!

*****The Brexit process began on March 29.

*****Beauty and the Beast set some records. It was the biggest March opening ever and the biggest PG opening ever.

*****The newest Monopoly tokens are a T. Rex, a rubber ducky and a penguin.

*****Thank you Martin Sheen for inspiring Malibu to become a sanctuary city.

*****Two stolen Van Gogh’s that were found last September were put on display again in Amsterdam.

*****The 9th season of RuPauls drag race is here!

*****Florida has a wheel of fugitives that spin to focus in on certain missing law breakers.

*****The new health care plan is loaded with massive tax cuts for the rich and no budget for it. The AMA and AARP do not support it. They kept a little of the good parts of Obamacare and changed wording on some things that Dems had wanted and they had previously refused. Estimates say that 60% of Trump voters will get their repeal of the ACA but it will cost them more for health care. Big drug companies get a healthy tax break and it is like a gift to insurance companies. All the Obama haters that wanted everything repealed sound a little mixed on the tax breaks for the rich. Did they not realize that the money was coming from somewhere? It is bad enough when I see people believe a story or two from the enquirer or wonder about a conspiracy theory but the things that pass for fact in the White House is delusional. The swamp is thriving just fine!

*****Lizzie Borden is coming to the big screen with Chloe Sevigny and Kristen Stewart.

*****OMG.. The new Twin peaks has added Laura Dern, Michael Cera and Jennifer Jason Leigh!!!!

*****Way to go Ted Koppel for giving Sean Hannity a reality check. Somebody has to be the voice of reason.

*****We still don’t know much about season 7 of American Horror Story. The cast gathered at the Paley center to talk about last season. It looks like it may be about the 2016 election and we know that Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters are on board and that it will come back in the fall.

*****Funny or die is bringing us 10 episodes of Sarah Silverman’s,’ I love you America.’

*****George Conway (Kellyanne’s husband) has been nominated to lead the justice department.

*****There is a new Jack Cassidy (son of Patrick), who is joining the family in entertainment.

*****Scary Clown 45 says Obama released 122 prisoners from Gitmo when we know 113 of them were by Bush.

*****Rob Reiner, I am so glad you are out there fighting the good fight for us!

*****Hawaii has filed the first lawsuit on the new travel ban. Federal judges agree but the Trump supporters want to boycott Hawaii.

*****This is not Sean Spicer’s first time at the White house. He used to be the Easter bunny in the 2000’s.

*****A DC restaurant filed suit against the Trump hotel across the street.

*****The whole ‘Janet Jackson has a daughter’ thing is back in the news.

*****In Cold Blood killer Dick Hickock wrote his own manuscript, with some help from Kansas City journalist Mack Nations called The High Road to Hell and it has just now surfaced. Before Hickock was executed, it seems that Truman Capote would not have wanted it published. Random House had a deal with Capote and some digging has shown that he fought against the other publication.

*****The new Avatar land, Pandora in Florida looks like Summer camp and it will open around the same time at the end of May.

*****Conan tweets have been on fire lately.

*****Ski joring that mixes skiing with horses is becoming more popular. I expect to see my cousin Cat doing it real soon.

*****A study of 6,000 UK teens showed that high achieving students were 50% more likely to use Marijuana occasionally.

*****Worldwide poverty has been cut in half.

*****Tomi Lahren has been suspended from her show Tomi on The Blaze network. She told the ladies of The View that she is pro -choice. Glenn Beck has spoken out against her. The network tag line is ”a platform for a new generation of authentic and unfiltered voices.” Hmmm.

*****Can’t wait for The Pollinator from Blondie. The new LP drops on May 5 with some help from Joan Jett, Laurie Anderson and Dev Hynes.

***** So.. Obama could not even get his Supreme Court nominee looked at but a President who is under investigation expects his pick to sail right thru?

*****Studies show that Subway chicken is only 50% chicken.

*****How wonderful that Michael Moore is showing Taylor Hackford’s Hail Hail Rock ‘n Roll in his Michigan theatre to honor Chuck Berry.

***** Look for Michael Nesmith’s new book and cd,  Infinite Tuesday: Autobiographical riffs!

*****R.I.P. Robert Osborne, Fred Weintraub, Joni Sledge, Chuck Berry, Jimmy Breslin, Chuck Barris. Robert James Walker, the victims of the London attack,