#but you CAN choose your partner

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

I don't necessarily agree every relationship has problems. I have problems with my parents too doesn't mean I hate them. We work through our disagreements and problems. If in a relationship you don't have hard times it means you aren't as serious. Like life things are good,bad,tough,fun, happening etc relationships have those certain patches too. Using those songs are wrong because life is never a bag of sunshine. We learn to work through conflicts and problems in a mature way so we are better equipped to handle them in future. Idk if I make sense. Whatever happened we don't know but it is wrong to say they were not in love or struggling most of the times imo.

I didn’t say that they weren’t in love or struggling most of the time hahah. I also specifically “called out” some anons for rewriting history: I think they were SO in love and from Taylor’s own words we know she’d never loved anyone else as much.

Unfortunately I don’t agree with the first part, though. We just have different perspectives and that’s okay! I think most people would agree with you anyway hahah. I just think that I prefer to date someone who has a “similar” soul to mine, and who “gets” me on a deeper level.

For example, in over a year of dating my boyfriend we’ve never fought (literally, not even once). And it’s not like we wouldn’t find reasons to fight or we don’t face hardships. For example, our families are very different and raised us in wildly different ways (his family is very conservative and “traditional”, while mine isn’t, although thankfully he votes left, contrary to his family, or I wouldn’t date him). We have a long distance relationship and we only see each other once every three/four weeks for a couple of days, although we talk on the phone every day. Our interests don’t match, not even in the slightest (besides traveling). We grew up in VERY different social circles (I’ll just say that while my best friends are currently pursuing PhDs, his best friends dropped out of high school, but there are tons of other examples). I would like to have an open relationship and he prefers monogamy, so we’re being monogamous for the time being, because it’s fine with me right now, but it’s an added layer of difficulty. Add to all of that I’m recovering from depression hahah. We honestly could have fights every single day, but we almost never do.

There are some bad moments, of course! Sometimes it’s hard to have a LDR, sometimes we discuss over feminism or what it means to be a good parent of whatever. But we’ve never had a proper fight. And I absolutely don’t think it’s because we’re not that serious, or because we don’t talk about “real” stuff. Just a couple of weeks ago I told him that I was gonna hang out with my (recently single again) ex ALONE, and he said “that’s great! I think he’ll probably try to hit on you, but it’s okay, I trust you”. He knows every little thing about me, every single bad secret! It’s just that we get so spontaneously well along, that there’s never a reason to fight.

And I’ve had other relationships where it wasn’t this good. This time around it is. It’s just my idea, I’m not claiming to know the truth: personally, when it comes to friends and relationships, I wanna be with people I don’t have to fight with. If it becomes too hard, I give up. I just wanna be happy.

Oh my god this was so long and so personal hahahah. Sorry. I agree with you in theory, though! And I think most people would! This is just the way I personally see the world (and it has nothing to do with Taylor! But if my relationship with my boyfriend was like False God, as much as that’s my favorite song from Lover, I’d break up with him - even if we just had ONE fight like that).

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

I fucking hate soulmate aus! But hear me out- skk soulmate au, Chuuya doesn’t have a soulmate for arhabaki reasons, Dazai doesn’t have a soulmate either for like other reasons, he’s just unlucky or smth idk. They find eachother, they skk it up, one of them is like ‘idk if I’m human man, I don’t have a soulmate’ and the other is like ‘yo me too????’ And then they KISS

[hauntzbin]

i feel like it's pretty safe to assume the people who say Chaggie is toxic because of Vaggie's attachment to Charlie haven't really been deeply in love before, especially not in a situation where their partner literally saved their life.

Sure a dynamic like that could go sour if you become too overbearing/demanding or controlling out of fear of losing them, but Vaggie is very obviously not that?

I can't exactly put the feeling into words, it's sort of a situation you have to experience in order to understand. But when you owe someone your life, especially when it feels that person is also your soulmate, of course you dedicate the rest of it to making them happy and giving unyielding support. Of course you feel like you owe them the world, because they're your whole world and the only reason you're even still here.

Yes it can create a power imbalance and your partner could take advantage of the obsessive loyalty that level of dependency breeds, but Charlie chooses not to because shes not abusive and she respects and loves vaggie.

Charlie recognizes that Vaggie has self worth issues and places her value in how useful she is to her, and instead of making it into a toxic situation charlie takes the time to reassure vaggie that she doesn't need to be 'proving' herself and that she is loved and valued as she is.

[crabbunch]

ethubs to me is like. tfw you kill and die for someone so many times that you can't even grow tired of it. it's mundane, sure, but in the way that loving someone is mundane. blood becomes like waking up to them every morning- an expected but beautiful nonetheless way of things being. it doesnt matter if they're killing each other or their enemies or pretending to do one and actually doing the other to them it is an act of devotion. and not the dramatic kind. tfw you die and kill for someone so often that instead of loosing meaning it gains sentiment. this is not a tragedy anymore!!! they are ripping it apart with their hands and laughing!!! is there anymore power to an actor than that? than turning the story to a comedy? they're sooo sitcom core. of course they love violence- there's no reason to be afraid of dying when it's not the end. they'll have another go at it, and another and another and another and another. the grief is real, sure, as real as the bloodlust- it's just not the thing that lasts

[cowboypossume]

the hunger games 🤝 it ends with us

Being marked/ropped in as a love story typa of rom com when that is the exact opposite of the point

[thedreadvampy]

the thing that I really feel about male contraception is it doesn't matter how much you trust your partner because you are simply not always in control of what happens to you. and if shit happens you're going to want to know your bases are covered. you cannot guarantee your partner will be honest but more importantly you cannot 100% guarantee you will only have sexual contact with your partner, and that may not be in your control, and if nothing happens you're fine and if something does happen pregnancy on top of that is the last thing you fucking need

(nb I have been pregnant multiple times and I didn't start hormonal contraception until I was like 28 because I'm afraid of doctors. so my high horse is like. subbasement level. this is a reflection of my innermost feelings not a judgement call.)

[quillheel]

─  romantic gestures.   bold what applies to your muse , italicize if there's potential / it depends.

holding hands · buying flowers · cooking · cuddles · writing a poem / song · holding door open · tying shoe laces · sharing a milkshake with two straws · offering their jacket when it's cold · kissing in the rain · publicly confessing love · long walks at the beach · doing the titanic pose on a boat · taking cute pictures in a photo booth · sharing a taxi / uber · kissing the back of their hand · slow dancing · getting tickets of their favorite artist / sports team / other · introducing them to your parents · lighting candles · flower petals on bed · love letters · star gazing · brushing / doing their hair · picnics · teaching them to play an instrument / sport while gently guiding their hands · compliments · late night drives · taking selfies together · drawing them · self-made gifts · massages · proposing with a family heirloom ring · lending them your favorite book to read · paying for dinner / coffee · mixtapes / playlists · surprise birthday parties · feeding them · handing them keys to your apartment · making space in drawer for their clothes when they stay over · sharing a blanket · couple costumes · tucking a hair strand behind their ear · running after them at the airport / keeping them from leaving · moving cities to be together · blowing a kiss · breakfast in bed · defending them in a fight (verbally / physically) · joint bubble baths · dropping the L-bomb ("i love you") · dedicating a song at the karaoke bar to them · wearing their clothes · yawning before putting an arm around them while watching a movie · granting them the last bite (from meal)

tagged by: stolen from @infog <3 I legally HAD to tagging: @tenebriism @braveryhearted @autonomousxselves @fantomevoleur @musesofthesun @pluviacuratio @tendercoded / @manebloom / @lncanting @cozyfarms @deiscension @shadowedresolve @sakuaxe @lovlorne @leuvspell @adoranoia and you!!!! ( multi's, decide as you please! )

[tvrningout]

What kind of love are you?

Love as a Choice

You choose to love. Love does not come to you easily, but every day you wake up and choose it. It would be so easy, wouldn't it, to grow cold and callous and grim. But you rise to greet the world, making the conscious effort to find something, anything to love. When you fall for someone, you do not kid yourself of their flaws. Instead, you resolve to see them for who they are, mistakes and all and you love them all the same. Your love is work, and it does not come easy. Your love sweats and toils. It is calloused and sunburned; it bears scars and comes with stories. Your love is worn, but it is no less valuable for it. Being loved by you is like being loved by a gardener, a mother, a teacher. Your love may not always be the simplest, but it is worth the effort.

Love as a Threshold

Your love does not ask for much. Your love does not take. Your love is free, and unquestioned, and here for wherever needs it. When you fall in love, it is as gentle as a breath in the night. It is quiet, and it is effortless. It is tender. If your love was a house, it would readily welcome all who come through. If your love was a hearth, it would warm the hands of whoever stopped by, whether for a day, a month, a year, or forever. When you fall for someone, it is without strings, without conditions, without need. You love for the sake of loving, for the sake of caring for those who need it. You love with a giver’s heart and a giver’s hands and are made so much stronger for it. Being loved by you is to always feel at home. Your love may not always be well-received by those unprepared to linger, but it is unforgettable all the same.

tagged by: @un1awful thank you very much hehe <3 tagging: whoever sees this and hasn't done it!!

[imflyingfish]

this show where diving aircraft is yuri kiss powed and everybody is born a girl and has to choose their gender once turned seventeen at times postponing it to remain as neither a man or a woman; essentially rejecting adulthood and remaining as a religious pilot to defend your homeland. to become a man is to change your body and grow up and give up your life, to become a woman is to remain lesser in society yet divine. You only have one chance to choose what you wish to be physically and in society. its irreversible. you're doing it to save the society. you're doing it for the holy. shit.

[amiharana]

How do you think a modern revalink dynamic would change (if at all) from like dating for a year or two vs. being married for several years? Your most recent post gave me brainworms, and I'm curious if your thoughts line up with mine!

HI IRI i hope you're enjoying the brainworms <3 i had to think about your actual question for a little bit because i got too excited at the idea of married revalink LMAO

tbh revalink being married kind of reminds me of my own parents, who have been married 20+ years, who bicker with each other all the time, but still act like every dinner is their first date because my dad is a sap. so in that sense, i feel like revali and link would still be utterly infatuated with one another, not in the puppy love way, but rather in a more evolved, mature way i guess? like revali will still be extremely fond of link and just how he is as a person, but after being married for 20+ years, he'll look up from his bowl of oatmeal at the breakfast nook to watch link wash the dishes in a tank top and boxers, and feel the urge to get up to hug link from behind. so he does and link will melt into him, continuing to wash the dishes and revali will kiss the back of link's neck, and it's like. this is the most content that revali has ever been in his entire life... until their seven year old comes running into the kitchen screaming being chased by their older sibling and the dog, but you get the point.

the way i'm perceiving it right now, it's like. when they first started dating, you could tell that revalink's dynamic was gonna be "two stubborn shitheads who are so obsessed with each other and fight as flirting", but thirty years later, their dynamic is like "two stubborn shitheads who are still obsessed with each other, but it's like their souls are always falling in step with one another." revali and link know each other like the back of each other's hands, they can predict each other's every movement and thought, and they don't have to say a word to know what the other needs or wants. they both grow really soft and sentimental over each other, and no one expects that from revali particularly. he can still bite tho (especially if you insinuate anything negative about him, link, or their marriage/family) so y'all be on your guard!

i do want to emphasize though, revali doesn't lose his tsundere-ness lol. like i said, he can still bite! he'll always have that streak of pride and arrogance but it's been significantly tempered by link's presence which is why i want to note that he's softer, not soft. but if you can catch the way he looks at link, any doubt you could have held that he loves link will disappear in seconds.

as for link, he's probably a little less feral than he was when they first started dating, but he's still jumping revali's bones at any given opportunity. definitely the type to let everyone know he has a husband and he loves his husband very much. revali's presence in his life has made link significantly brighter and sweeter to everyone around him because revali is his rock and link knows he always has someone to support him up through everything, so he doesn't need to worry.

so to completely answer your question: it's not that their dynamic changes by a lot, it just evolved and got stronger and more powerful. like pokemon. 😃👍

[chaogongoozles]

// vent , journal?, letter to the void to a specific person? Whatever, if ya know ya know//

Didn't think I'd have a close pal choose to be a dirty fucking pig (cop) apologist knowing damn well everything they do and done to marginalized groups, all while trying to tell me "I don't support them!.. but also don't call my coworkers pigs that's disrespectful >:(" bitch??? Blow it out your ass, you wanna fuck around with the pig squad thinking you can 'be a good one' while still supporting them because you work with them? Fine by me, but you're not my friend or ever will be as long as you keep that bluelivesmatter mentality knowing damn well who I am, or who my partner is, or everyone close who has been directly affected by them. Already trying to say the 'negative talk' that cops get is what's the main issue in society™ without wondering WHY so many people fucking hate cops? Or thinking the horrible conditions prisoners are put in is the police 'being underfunded ' when that's by fucking design? Crying that people are calling you horrible shit for being a cop apologist? Boohoo cry me a river, that'll never be nearly as bad as the abuse and deaths millions of people (majority black or Native American) face from the hands of the police.

Damn fucking shame you listened to all the goons around you + those back at home who brought you and your amazing artwork down to the point you even had to work with dirty swine. Thinking that's the only way you can "help people" when you know damn well there's many more opportunities and positions that actually help people (even incorporating your art into it), but instead choosing the very thing that's suppressing us while throwing away your hard work/passions. Fuck you. If you're going to chalk up the horrors that are happening as "fake news/online garbage" or "dumb people recording cops and wondering why they're getting arrested", you're already too far gone.

RIP to the person I once knew and loved. Guess what they say is true, you either grow with friends from childhood/highschool or grow apart. We've obviously grown apart. So good bye.

[grapeskeeto]

big fan of aromantic kinitopet as an aro individual. now how do I reconcile that with selfshipping with him

[masked-and-doomed]

Augh I am not knowledgeable enough on this and I do not have the energy to see more of it but I am still thinking of it <- the morality and ethics of fiction and things like that and also how much of the author's views are affecting it

Quick example here: light from DN, most people tend to assume he's misogynistic, because the author unintentionally wrote his views onto Light's character. Of course, it is in a way where it does seem to be fair to have that negative trait onto Light, but in his other works that sexism is toned a bit higher and clearer to see.

So, that asks the question of many other works of art. At what point is it part the story, the themes, the character, and at what point is it the creator of their work, intentionally or unintentionally having their views baked into it.

Of course, I feel, it is maybe inevitable some of one's thoughts on matters are worked into their craft. It is your art, it will have your touch on it, whether you see it or not.

Wauhh there's so much to this. I am. Ough.

This of course eventually goes into rougher territory, does this person actually think this [horrible action] is acceptable, or justifiable? Or should we give the benefit of the doubt that it's meant to be in the realm of fiction that was meant for pondering, evoke emotions and connections to these characters.

What is romanticising/glorifying, truly? Though I suspect it may come to a 'case by case' sort of thing.

What is simply one's fantasies, of which, may be illegal to do so in real life, but they are fully aware of such. They still wish to engage in pleasure, though within the realm of fiction rather than reality so they do not actually harm others.

[definitelynotshouting]

heya i just wanted to tell you how genuinely important your arospec scarian thing is to me

the line "He's not sure what he wants, what's expected of him here" has just helped me solve a tiny crisis i've been having for the past month+ and on one hand i can't believe a fic about blockmen kissing is helping me figure this out but on the other hand im thinking of course it was your writing that helped me realize what is happening in my little feelings hole

anyway, just wanted to say thank you for how real and beautiful your writing is

sincerely, an aro/ace person who's feeling a little more okay about their crisis because you're an awesome human

HEY ANON,,,,, THIS IS SO SWEET WTF..... holy shit im literally speechless. I dont even remotely know what to say to such a genuine and heartfelt message, except that i am so, so happy ive managed to help you like this with my writing

Writing the arospec stuff was really interesting for me, personally, because thats an aspect of myself ive never really... set out much space to think about??? Ive known for a while that im probably demiromantic, considering how close i have to be with people before i can even begin to catch feelings, but ive never truly and consciously explored that within my writing before until now. And the fact that finally doing so has helped someone with a personal crisis really makes me so teary-eyed like hello...... oh my gods.

Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, and im so glad ive managed to help out despite being a virtual stranger. That novelty is never gonna wear off for me. I hope you're having a good day, anon❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ take care of yourself!! :]

[derelictdumbass]

my birthday treat to myself: even more gay insane daydreams about characters loving my si/oc's on purpose and hearing all the gritty details of why they do things the way they do and why they might not be a perfect partner and saying fuck it I will love you with all of that and we will be better together and we will make each other happy and we will learn how to love each other with all our idiosyncrasies and we will do it all on purpose !!!!!!

[no-sp4g-4-b4by]

I have so much beef with bars and venues that don't offer free water. Like bruh I'm already paying 13$ for the tiniest vodka cran the world has ever seen, I beg you let me have some lukewarm tap water so I don't die of dehydration