#-love letter when he was young and getting so so infatuated with the concept and finding that writing things down to be such a good way-

[quillheel]

─  romantic gestures.   bold what applies to your muse , italicize if there's potential / it depends.

holding hands · buying flowers · cooking · cuddles · writing a poem / song · holding door open · tying shoe laces · sharing a milkshake with two straws · offering their jacket when it's cold · kissing in the rain · publicly confessing love · long walks at the beach · doing the titanic pose on a boat · taking cute pictures in a photo booth · sharing a taxi / uber · kissing the back of their hand · slow dancing · getting tickets of their favorite artist / sports team / other · introducing them to your parents · lighting candles · flower petals on bed · love letters · star gazing · brushing / doing their hair · picnics · teaching them to play an instrument / sport while gently guiding their hands · compliments · late night drives · taking selfies together · drawing them · self-made gifts · massages · proposing with a family heirloom ring · lending them your favorite book to read · paying for dinner / coffee · mixtapes / playlists · surprise birthday parties · feeding them · handing them keys to your apartment · making space in drawer for their clothes when they stay over · sharing a blanket · couple costumes · tucking a hair strand behind their ear · running after them at the airport / keeping them from leaving · moving cities to be together · blowing a kiss · breakfast in bed · defending them in a fight (verbally / physically) · joint bubble baths · dropping the L-bomb ("i love you") · dedicating a song at the karaoke bar to them · wearing their clothes · yawning before putting an arm around them while watching a movie · granting them the last bite (from meal)

tagged by: stolen from @infog <3 I legally HAD to tagging: @tenebriism @braveryhearted @autonomousxselves @fantomevoleur @musesofthesun @pluviacuratio @tendercoded / @manebloom / @lncanting @cozyfarms @deiscension @shadowedresolve @sakuaxe @lovlorne @leuvspell @adoranoia and you!!!! ( multi's, decide as you please! )

[dinrelsanddragons]

Vair headcanons from before the blog reformat: sfw edition

Vair was clumsy as a kid and had to put in extra time to work out the kinks. Imagine him tripping over himself while marching and faceplanting in the dirt while the drill sergeant just goes apeshit over this.

Vair: Training is how I relax. Vair: Few things can loose your frustrations as well as a good swing of a blade.

Vair’s favorite tea is peppermint, as it’s his old best friend’s favorite (and it wakes the drinker considerably). But he also likes lemon with honey.

Vair sometimes calls young Zelda (of reginalucem) ‘little miss’ rather than ‘Your Highness,’ generally when no one’s around to eye him for his lack of manners. It’s an affectionate thing. He can’t help but dote on the daughter of his best friend.

While Vair’s weapon of choice is a royal claymore, when marching he prefers to hold his halberd. It’s lighter and less likely to smack someone– an old habit from his younger, clumsy days.

Vair’s hobbies include marching, weapons maintenance, training, and on occasion, archery and falconry. He has a bit of a one-track mind.

Vair fucking hates mathematics. He can do basic things– addition, subtraction, on occasion multiplication with smaller numbers– but anything more than that gives him a headache.

When Vair falls in love, it shows. He practically moons over his crush and has trouble focusing as he can’t stop thinking of them. His otherwise-steady hands shake a little and his heart won’t stop pounding. Also prone to smiling like a dumbass at the thought of whoever it is.

Vair’s weakness, romantically, is comaraderie. He tends to fall for those he works with, and he may or may not have fallen for his boss at one point. He’s also accustomed to these being rather inappropriate feelings, so he tends to bury them under six feet of stone.

Vair has a tendency to collect love letters from around the castle. There are more than a few maids and ladies who find themselves infatuated with this diligent knight, but Vair really has no idea what to do with the tokens of affection he receives. He ends up keeping them in a drawer.

Vair was accused of being a changeling as a kid, before his village was destroyed. He had no idea what it meant, only that people didn’t like him because he was a little odd.

Vair was orphaned at the tender age of six years old, by means of a dragon attack that destroyed his entire village. His parents saw the monster coming, plopped him on a horse, slapped the beast in the rear, and that was the last Vair saw of them. (Sidenote: This was before the character conception of his sister, Cara.)

After his parents died, Vair was raised by a distant relative of his who chose to abandon the family tradition and become a knight. Though the actual relation is rather complex, Vair just calls him his uncle.

Vair was taken to the Spring of Power at the age of five– before his village was destroyed– and Dinraal appeared for him. His parents took this to mean he was blessed by the fire spirit. He certainly is lucky in a few ways; he escaped a massacre…

Vair becomes notably more casual and relaxed at the training grounds. It’s easy for him to forget that not everyone there is a soldier or a knight, and it’s just where he goes to relax (by beating the tar out of some dummies, or other knights.)

Vair is that dad who lets his kid(s) get away with murder. Not literally, though. One might think he’d be a stern father judging from his chilly attitude on the job, but really he’s happy to gush about how sweet his family is at any opportunity.

Vair once tried to date one of his myriad admirers, back when he was a teenager. Never again.

[thecoleopterawithana]

Hi there! Just discovered your blog and I love it. I appreciate your in-depth analyses. But I have a question: I saw in a previous post that you think the line "I'm in love with a friend of mine," from "Dear Friend," is Paul saying he loves John. But, couldn't this line apply to Linda? It seems to me Paul could be telling John either, "Let it go, you know I'm in love with you," or "Let it go, you know I'm in love with Linda." What do you think? I'd love the line to be for John of course. Thanks!

Hey there, dear anon! I’m so happy you’re having fun with the blog and my sporadic thoughts!

Ah, yes! The famous conundrum: who is the friend Paul’s in love with?

I want to start off by making it clear that I have no doubt in my mind that Paul was in love with Linda.

In the same way, I don’t see it as too far fetched to think that Paul was in love with John. They both used it to describe their relation often enough.

The question, as always, is what exactly Paul means and what we mean when using the term. 

So the third point I’d like to make is that Paul being in love with John doesn’t necessarily entail him wanting to kiss him or be a typical romantic couple. It’s possible that this is simply the best term they found to describe the level of intensity and infatuation present in their relationship; how fascinated they were with each other, how interested in spending time together. Of course, we as a culture are very hung-up on the physical manifestations of these feelings, and often use this small constituent of very complex dynamics to categorize them into platonic, romantic, sexual, etc. But I think I’ve harped on enough about the illusion, limitation, and importance of language/concepts/categories in the previous post you referred to.

By all of this I just mean to say that maybe we shouldn’t decide who the line is about based on how plausible it would be for Paul to use “in love” in reference to John Lennon, as there are more instances him doing exactly so. 

So, assuming that Paul is just as likely to use “in love” to refer to his relationship with Linda as to his relationship with John, let’s see what he says about the song:

“Dear Friend” was written about John, yes. I don’t like grief and arguments, they always bug me. Life is too precious, although we often find ourselves guilty of doing it. So after John had slagged me off in public I had to think of a response, and it was either going to be to slag him off in public — and some instinct stopped me, which I’m really glad about — or do something else. So I worked on my attitude and wrote “Dear Friend”, saying, in effect, let’s lay the guns down, let’s hang up our boxing gloves.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed for Club Sandwich (1994).

Dear Friend was to do with John, a bit of longing about John. Let’s have a glass of wine and forget about it. A making up song.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed by Paul Du Noyer for Mojo (July 2001).

[Dear Friend] was written for John, to John. It was like a letter. With the business pressures of the Beatles breaking up it’s like a marriage. One minute you’re in love, the next minute you hate each other’s guts. It’s a pity, because it’s very difficult to cut through all that. So you do what we all seemed to do, which was write it in songs. I wrote “Dear Friend” as a kind of peace gesture.

— Paul McCartney, in Bill Harry's The Paul McCartney Encyclopedia (2002).

And then with ‘Dear Friend’, that’s sort of me talking to John after we’d had all the sort of disputes about The Beatles break up. I find it very emotional when I listen to it now. I have to sort of choke it back. I’m not going to cry in front of all you lot though! […] But, for me, it is a bit like that. I remember when I heard the song recently, listening to the roughs [remastering works-in-progress] in the car. And I thought, ‘Oh God’. That lyric: ‘Really truly, young and newly wed’. Listening to that was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s true!’ I’m trying to say to John, ‘Look, you know, it’s all cool. Have a glass of wine. Let’s be cool.’ And luckily we did get it back together, which was like a great source of joy because it would have been terrible if he’d been killed as things were at that point and I’d never got to straighten it out with him. This was me reaching out. So, I think it’s very powerful in some very simple way. But it was certainly heartfelt.”

— Paul McCartney, You Gave Me The Answer - ‘Wild Life’ Special (29 October 2018).

So, starting by stating the obvious, Paul has made it clear that the ‘dear friend’ the song is addressed to is John. Now, is the ‘friend of mine’ a different subject or the same? 

Conveniently, because they continue to mirror each other, both Paul and John are ‘really truly, young and newly wed.’ So the whole phrasing of the song is exactly the sort of “very non-specific way to say it” that Paul prefers.

Though, in 2018, Paul comments precisely on this line: “I find it very emotional when I listen to it now. [...] And I thought, ‘Oh God’. That lyric: ‘Really truly, young and newly wed’. Listening to that was like, ‘Oh my God, it’s true!’”

It’s worth to consider the context of the whole verse, as that specific lyric is the end of a sentence: ‘Dear friend, throw the wine, I'm in love with a friend of mine, really truly, young and newly wed.’

Paul tells us that this phrase in particular gets him choked up, but also almost awed in realization. I personally don’t feel like this kind of surprised amazement would be elicited by acknowledging that it’s him and Linda that were ‘in love’ and ‘really truly, young and newly wed’, unless out of a sense of nostalgia. 

But the thing is, Paul doesn’t bring up Linda or Yoko or their respective marriages even once while discussing the song. If the point he’s trying to make is, ‘Look, I’m in love with Linda, you’re with Yoko, why are we fighting?’, why would he never bring them up while discussing the song? Or state something to the effect of “We are individuals— all different. John married Yoko, I married Linda. We didn't marry the same girl.” (Which he did say in the autumn of 1969, to Life magazine.)

In actuality, he only mentions his metaphorical matrimony to John, and how “one minute you’re in love, the next minute you hate each other’s guts.” So, when discussing a song written to, for and about his ‘dear friend’ John, in which he declares he’s ‘in love with a friend’ of his, Paul explains how it’s like they’d been “in love” with each other. 

I think we might be making this needlessly complicated by bringing in his love for Linda, and so would like to invoque the law of parsimony.

But then, what does he mean?

Paul makes it abundantly clear that the ultimate goal of this ‘letter’ is an attempt at reconciliation, “a kind of peace gesture”, “let’s be cool”, “let’s lay the guns down, let’s hang up our boxing gloves”. It’s a “making up song.” 

It pays to point out that while Dear Friend was first recorded at the beginning of the Wild Life sessions, on 24 July 1971, the demo tapes date back to a year prior, estimated to have been made at home in 1970. So it’s unlikely it was a response to How Do You Sleep?, recorded on 26 May 1971, and released on 9 September 1971. So Paul seems to be answering some other slagging off in public that John did.

But let’s look at the song:

Dear friend, what's the time?  Is this really the borderline?  Does it really mean so much to you? 

Are you afraid, or is it true?

Dear friend, throw the wine  I'm in love with a friend of mine  Really truly, young and newly wed 

Are you a fool, or is it true?

Are you afraid, or is it true?

The first line seems to be pretty self-explanatory, with the same sentiment Paul expressed in 1994, that “life is too precious”; after all, ‘Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend.’

In the second line, the question could mean, ‘Is this really where we’re at? Is this where we ended up?’ Or he could be using ‘borderline’ to mean a division, in the sense that he asks ‘Is this really where the line is drawn?’, which could help explain the end of the verse and his bafflement at how hurt John is by having that line crossed.

Now, what might be the action that meant so much to John? What might be Paul pinpointing as the source of John’s hurt? The sources could be multiple. John himself said no one hurt him as much as Paul did, and he was quick to point out Paul’s insensitivity. Paul would later continue to ponder this issue:

I always felt guilty. Always felt guilty. But looking back on it, I keep thinking, okay, let’s try and analyse this. Now John was hurt; what was he hurt by? What was the single biggest thing that we can find in all our research that hurt John? And the biggest thing that I can find is that I told the world that the Beatles were finished. And I don’t think that’s so hurtful. [...] I look at it now and really kind of shudder. At the time it was me trying to answer some questions that were being asked and I decided to not fudge that question. [Note: Where John’s hurt is concerned, Paul may or may not be referring specifically to his answering “Do you foresee a time when Lennon-McCartney becomes an active songwriting partnership again?” with a definitive “No.”] And I say, looking back on it, I don’t think… I mean, if that’s the most hurtful thing I did, I haven’t really heard much else beyond that.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed by Chris Salewicz for Musician (October 1986).

Of course, there’s nothing to say that Paul would be aware of all of this back in 1970. So we may never know what hurt Paul was referring to, if any. Remember this is just my present personal interpretation; which can be completely incorrect. 

Now comes the part which I consider the most mysterious in the entire song: ‘Are you afraid, or is it true?’ and the variation, ‘Are you a fool, or is it true?’ The exact meaning for these inquires often eludes me. What is John afraid of and what is the alternative state that Paul wonders if it’s true?

One interpretation I’ve seen is made in the context of Dear Friend being an answer to How Do You Sleep? Here, the question ‘is it true?’ amounts to ‘did you really mean all those things you said, or were you just hurt?’ This seems a reasonable take and it works as a response to any attacks by John, not just necessarily How Do You Sleep? 

Of course, Paul uses the word ‘afraid’. And although I can see a post-divorce John Lennon slagging of his ex out of hurt, I don’t understand how he’d do it out of fear. But maybe there was something to lose still.

Personally, clarity arrived when I was exposed to the song A Love For You. Part of the RAM demo tapes made between May and August 1970, this track recorded in 26 October 1970 would only be heard by the public in 2003, in the soundtrack for the movie “The In-Laws”. 

The piece shares many motifs with other McCartney songs, as I’ve tried to explore before. But, to our discussion, I think the most relevant part of this contemporary of Dear Friend is the very last line of the second verse: 

Is it true, are you coming through, or were you just leaving?

Here we have it; around the same time, precisely the same question: ‘Is it true?’

Though in the case of Dear Friend, it’s as if what he questions as “true” is reversed, asking instead: ‘Is it true you were just leaving? Or are you afraid of coming through? Or are you a fool for not seeing that I really am, I really can, I really do, I really have a love for you?’

This interpretation seems to match my current hypothesis that the breakup was but a disastrous series of miscommunications, which both created and were created by fear, distrust and insecurity in the other’s love. 

If this is the case, the second verse seems to also make more sense. The first line is explained by Paul in 2001: “Let’s have a glass of wine and forget about it.” Assuming that the second line (the reason for this whole post) is referring to John, then it represents a clarification of Paul’s feelings. The verse culminates with a question that seems to reinforce the whole message: ‘Are you a fool for not seeing I’m in love with you, or is it true that you actually meant to leave and that you don’t feel the same anymore?’

I have to reinforce that, even with all of this, when Paul says ‘I’m in love with you’ to John, I don’t think it necessarily means ‘I’ll leave Linda, take me back!’ From my perspective, the way Paul’s in love with Linda doesn’t really infringe on the way he’s in love with John. He probably had totally different needs and expectations from the two relationships, which he doesn’t see as mutually exclusive.

So, in conclusion, for me Dear Friend is essentially Paul writing a letter to John saying, ‘Come on, are we really wasting time with this fighting nonsense? Let’s make up! I still feel the way I felt. Do you?’ 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #360

“we are the ones that wanna play  /  always wanna go, but you never wanna stay”

"Crawling" or "In The End?" I want to say "Crawling," but I really can't be sure. Both are bomb. Is your window open? No. Monsters Inc. or Shrek? Shrek, my man. What did you last hear that made your jaw drop? Jason's mom died. What is the longest shower or bath you have ever taken? I remember as kids, Nicole and I would sometimes play 'til Mom made us finish because the water was cold by then. As an adult, idk about my longest shower. Do you have a preference of chocolate? Yeah, milk chocolate. Is there anyone you’d like to hug right now? Yeah. Could you ever picture someone writing a biography about you? Definitely not. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Do you shut off the computer when you’re done using it? No, I just close it. Do you usually catch a cold during the winter? No. I just about never get sick. Are you a good multi-tasker? NOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Is there a door knocker on your front door? No. Were you ever into Pokémon? Bitch I still am. Do you drink a lot of water? Sigh, no. I'm definitely better than I used to be, though; once upon a time, I literally never drank it unless I was extremely hot and dehydrated. Nowadays, it's usually after I finish my soda for the day that I then only drink water, normally around one full tall cup of it. Do you like fireworks? They're beautiful, but I'm personally against them out of respect for veterans suffering from PTSD as well as animals, because I'm not exactly interested in traumatizing them, either. Is respect given or earned with you? It's given, the way I think it should be. Are you “in the closet” about anything? No. Are you missing any teeth? No. Do you like scrapbooking? I've never gotten into it and am not really interested in doing so. What was or will be your first tattoo? It's a semicolon butterfly on my right wrist. Sometimes I've thought about getting it covered with a cooler design but the same concept; it was literally from Google, and I'm very much not into "sharing" tattoo designs with probably thousands of other people. But, I still think it really is cute, and it's just very special to me as my first, so idk. Do you have any tattoos dedicated to someone special? I have one written in Sara's handwriting inside a heart, and my "ohana" tattoo that I am 100% getting covered was dedicated to my former best friend Colleen. I've talked before about why "ohana" has never really resonated with me, and I just don't like it anymore at all. Thank God it's small. Do you like ghost stories? Oh HELL yeah, lay 'em on me. What was your favorite movie as a kid? The Lion King. Some things never change, ha. Do you own a lot of cookbooks? Mom has looooots, but never uses any. I think her mom gave them to her, so she just keeps 'em. What’s your father’s handwriting like? It looks like every other man's handwriting I've ever seen lol. All the letters are capitalized. Did you wash your hair last time you showered? I wash my hair every time I shower. I have to with it naturally being so oily. What does your shampoo smell like? Coconut. Do you listen to Guns N' Roses? Not a lot, but yeah. They've got some bangers. I actually want "Sweet Child O' Mine" to be the father/daughter dance at my wedding. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? Yeah, at my sister's wedding. What was the last video game that you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 a long time ago. Have you ever hyperventilated? Yep. Do you talk in your sleep? I scream in my sleep. Nightmares/terrors are a blast. Whose house did you last sleep over? Sara's. Have you ever been cut by scissors? No. Do you like peaches? It's odd, I like canned sliced peaches, but the actual, full fruit, I don't. I love peach flavored juice, though. Do you enjoy being surrounded by neighbors, or would you be more comfortable someplace secluded? Take me back to the middle of nowhere, please. I'm really not digging being in an actual neighborhood. Is there any sibling rivalry between you and your siblings, if you have any? Not at all. Do you usually root for the good guys or the bad guys? Ha, the baddies... Are you allowed to have pets at your house? We're allowed to have what we currently own and then maybe one dog if Mom finally finds one. Have you ever lived in a trailer park? No. Is there anyone that you know through the internet that you would feel comfortable meeting in person? There's quite a few, actually! Have you ever had a dream involving characters from a game/movie/television show? Yeah. What’s the last thing you wrote down? My signature, I think? Do you remember any phone numbers from years ago that now belong to someone you don’t know? No. Have you ever found something strange in your mailbox? No. Who was the last relative that came to visit you? My half-sister and her husband. Does your bedding all match? Not currently. Are you more comfortable with having short hair or long hair? SHORT. Are you interested in fantasy movies/shows? That's my preference. Have you ever gone whale-watching? No, but that'd be dope. What is something that you have a large amount of? Meerkat plushies. Who is it that you’re in love with? Nobody. Have you ever gotten love and infatuation confused? No. Do you have a steady income? No. Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? Both. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? No, I wish. :( Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? MILK. I don't eat it with water. When was the last time you ran into someone that you didn’t want to see? Idk. Have you ever tried vlogging, and if yes, did you stick with it? Noooo, I'm completely disinterested in doing that myself. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? I don't go. Even as a kid when Mom made me, I hated it. ^and what is your least favorite thing about it? N/A What do you do for exercise? I don't. .-. I want a pool SO badly to swim and strengthen my legs without having to worry about sweating or collapsing, though. Mom says we don't have space, but we definitely do. Not a lot, but enough. Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Yeah, it's just a bit darker than the rest of my skin. Do you need to lose weight? Yes. My sister, Mom, and I very recently started a Weight Watchers subscription and we're all working our asses off to stick to it. Ash has already lost like, 12 pounds (she started before Mom and me), so I'm kinda hopeful. Have you ever had a cat? Growing up, after we took in a stray female, we ended up with a fucking empire of cats, literally around three dozen, I'd say. They were all outdoors, too, and not fixed because we couldn't afford it, so tomcats would come around and, y'know, make matters worse. Eventually, animal control took them all and I was DEVASTATED, but looking back, I understand it was necessary. Anyway, I have one cat now. Indoors and fixed and the prince of my world, haha. Have you ever had a dog? We've had a few. I was born with my dad having a collie named Trigger, but I don't remember her at all; she died of old age I believe when I was very young. Then we briefly had a pup named Angel, but she died due to that disease some puppies just have. We didn't get another dog until Teddy, who was my Christmas present, and he was put to sleep only last year, rest my baby's soul. We also had Dale, Cali, Delilah, and Bentley. Have you ever any other kind of animal? A LOT. I'm probably going to forget some, but we've had hamsters, rats, snakes, fish, a turtle, two lizards, gerbils, guinea pigs... just a lot. Animals have always been very important in my life. Have you ever had a pet rock? HA, yeah. I didn't take it seriously at all, but I had one. When was the last time you painted something? Not since my Painting course in my final college attempt. Do you have any disabilities? Not in the traditional sense, no. My social anxiety though is at such a severity that it majorly infringes upon my ability to do a LOT of things, though. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? I couldn't name five. Just Hot Topic and Spencer's, really. What season do you want to get married in? AUTUMN. The actual dream situation would be to get married in the snow in a black dress, like can you IMAGINE the pictures, but realistically, it'd be in the fall to avoid the biting cold. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yeah. Anything special planned for today? Nope. Blue or green? Blue. How much older/younger than you was the person you lost your virginity to? He's two years older than me. Do you still care for that person? Very much. Can you completely annihilate the first Mario game in less than an hour? I haven't even played the first game. I've never really been into the games to begin with. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes! I was OOOOOBSESSEEEEEED as a kid. I would usually play it after school when my mom was an assistant teacher and was finishing up her work for the day. Have you ever contemplated climbing a water tower? Uh, no. Those kind of people got some wanderlust levels that I ain't got, haha. If you have a Facebook, when was the last time you changed your profile picture? It's been a few months. Would you ever marry someone who was lower class? Um, yes? You can deny it all you want, but answering "no" is pretty much the same as saying you'd marry for money. Is there a guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away? ugh Which do you prefer: English or math? English, by light years. Who is a singer that has given you chills? David Draiman's voice in the Disturbed cover of "Sound of Silence" is fucking haunting. Greatest cover of all time. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? I did when Sharon was a judge. Do you think you could win America’s Got Talent? Hell no. What act would you perform in a talent show? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Have you ever practiced yoga? Yes. I used to be BANGIN at it. What is your favorite thing to buy at the Farmer’s Market? Fruit! Do you get carsickness? No. What color is the rim of your full-length mirror? Black. What is your state’s bird (if you live in the US)? Cardinal. Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? I'm a sucker for ballgown dresses. Do you enjoy editing videos? I used to love it, for many many years. Now, I just don't have the dedication or motivation to. Do you enjoy editing photos? Yes. If you gave birth, do you think you would want it filmed? Um, absolutely not. I would have NO desire to look back on me shrieking my lungs out and essentially dying. I handle abdominal pain very poorly, so I've got a goooood feeling that if I actually wanted to have kids, I'd be that woman screeching like a banshee.

[dressupdressshopp]

Fishing I Love A Good Pole Dance Vintage T Shirt

RESTROOM SHE DOES I DO NOT TRUST A Fishing I Love A Good Pole Dance Vintage T Shirt POLITICIAN WITHOUT CHILDREN WHAT’S YOUR TAKE ON THAT I DON’T KNOW MAYBE MAYBE TO USE HARRIS’S OWN WORDS MAYBE SHE WAS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18 AND 24 MAYBE SHE DID SOME DUMB THINGS THAT MAY OR START STERILE STERILE YOU FROM YOU IS THAT DUMB THINGS ALL THEY SAID OH NO THEY SELL THEIR EGGS IN ALL THEY SELL MONEY YOU GET WHEN WHO KNEW THAT THE YOUNG YES I SO SOMETIMES THEY DO SOME DUMB THINGS I DON’T KNOW I DON’T KNOW I HAVE WHY SHE NEVER HAD ANY CHILDREN SHE’S PROBABLY STERILE SOMETIMES A WOMAN MAY NOT BE STERILE SOMETIMES THEY SIMPLY DON’T WANT CHILDREN SOMETIMES YOU HAVE WOMEN WEAR SOME STERILIZE THEM AND IT WAS NOT THEIR DESIRE TO BE STERILIZE YET IS YOU THAT BLACK WOMEN IN AMERICA NOT JUST AMERICA BUT THEY BEEN STERILIZE HYSTERECTOMIES WHERE THAT THE UNIVERSE IS REMOVED SO HARRIS A STORY I DON’T KNOW BUT YOU ALSO NOT REALIZED THAT MICHELLE OBAMA HER TWO DAUGHTERS WERE BORN OF SURROGATE MOTHER SURROGATE MOTHER SO I DON’T KNOW THE WHOLE STARTING MAN OKAY SO AND. Make sure to litigate the fact that check this out boysand we didand he didn’t affect his idea about this movieand were discussing the going on with all is after a while what we started I get taken it seriously does realize it was a pretty cool idea about you taking to the movieand fit in with the overall song is pretty basic idea songs about the bookand a movie after that the state tells that little guy with a box on the day he now cool to do it with like when you concept with it also noticed with in a sanity is yet a concept that’s really only telling half of itand then do so many things about videos I think that we still don’t know that work learning about things you do when you like I did get all with different visual things he can do with blending thingsand all the crap that were like complete newand weird so you know the idea was that it was pretty cooland the whole way was put together that’s what made it work very focused trialand message to the family until incurring the going anti now seems to be the site awareand you know Texas about which were by yearand a half takes us you know which is about six months offand then the we start writing salsa wood on the recordsand longed to year is three years already so it seems to be what we can stuck in right now so you know only on 94 is taking time with anything you know you want to just write in the mechanic at the money now to make sure that it’s rightand how long you’re in the studio always causing as much oh my God you know in the long run it is really matter if you’re happy with the workand six month break we definitely needed after that long to her in writing materialand we take pride in his chair out in a 30 sauceand pick up 12 best whatever caseand it would To finally write daily life cannot be fairly quick actually clicked by standards I think the whole brining process took about eight weeks eight weeks premature never saw him it was quiteand I was just like been three years last on the ideas are stacking up was just kind of taking eight months offand all that was really an email the right thing to do because when we can actually like really gung hoand going for some pretty much the right thing to do is fill out we get a couple must account a jam onand I was the cool thing we didn’t get to do that on some of the other albums you have a few of them readyand we all jam togetherand go in the studioand still be writing stuff for the other guys never even played it with us so you two is about the stars maker is a risk can safely say that this lonely can add them off a couple monthsand generally settled in to see where they were going all the vocal stuff is almost ready to go to the next phrasing so when you can where the song was sitting helps like with each person doing drum step by step on the vocals of time things it was the first time that we ever actually counted with a producerand somebody else was kind of like weird at first light when the rehearsal roomand the site guys in the room taking notes of my of those scary first couple days but got comfortable with that he was just as great you really changed much around the song line but it was good that somebody can fit throwing ideas can blend almost like what other bands do refining is a no signing they want a lot of things I regret like a year later Lindsay like the last couple years just to open up your mind to different things got to go with what feels like you can’t worry about what you said four years ago in an interview in Langley look at things differentlyand get olderand obviously felt thing I was even like it was like a list of people that was just like well it is Bob rock on it we should meet him so we flew upand then was not like a huge thing to me does not like people history something being forced upon us by management a record company payroll very happy that we finally sort of look outside todayand for somebody else to help with planning unit was never really a producer in the classic sense of how worried he was more like a technical for super engineer Canada push the buttonand when really cannot say in there this amino real Canada coaching he said at a counter is not a performance oriented which I think it became apparent to those who really needed somebody to start helping us get some life into Iraq Tinaand him Bob makes pretty lively records flooding knew what we wanted sound wise the sign performs at an early screw this I thought I could fulfill that the way you really knew what is supposed to doand the producer does is makes you sound more like you not not taking Bon Jovi ideasand put them on this band is not his thing in pulling the best of value being object from a different way you might sitand go you know how I want to know what they did because you like in the middle of tracking is something like they just can’t step outside yourselfand can looking for somebody like Bob really helpful when Canadian what is your afterand then when you feel that okay now this guy understands what it is whereafter then you can leave it with you Dominicans were a lot more about performancesand going for them the engines were about overseeingand making no major decision you know cannot about that kind of stuff so it can lilies of us to deal with potential to greatly justify the ones we didn’t trust him it took a little while when you finally say this guy knows aware what we want do is wake upand it was cool in any so that the couple weeks but I’m low levels strain theand domestic fail taband select thought unknown failing to agree that is little will pull the simple timing the simplicity of it all you hear the easy things to Gary register saw a different approach to songwriting in a different thing to go for production wising a lot of people have been shown the last couple weeks is easier record to Mason to mechanic say that you know suggesting a contrived thing but the thing is when you have a different approach the way you write the songsand you have like she almost like enjoy yourself when you’re playing that comes across like a different feeling record before then I think all those things make it easier listen to is not sent down to make a record that is you listen to dislike were like having fun in all this attitudeand then comes through in the planeand that makes it easy for you listen to cannot be part of what we trying to deny me heavy load that isolates the styleand how the law last think we really try a lot of that stuff a lot more self conscious if I comes up interviews afterwards sitting somebody throw the question is what you want we do that will make you know we just do things you would always wanted to do things differently than what a lot everybody else is doing sometimes might look at somebody elseand discounted subconsciously save your cell wall maybe things will be differentand wanted to spend a go this way for a while is not to vilify myself interviewsand talking about it seems like what we do things happen in people always want answers afterwards weird analyze something that doesn’t really take a lot when it is taught is getting together you mean it will fit adult looks like shorter songsand conversation taken off five seconds like arthritis source out okay in a letter to this okay like you know 30 seconds later why do you think of things that contain one more more answers in England but anywhere else What would you think about all this concept that’s happening the mine would get sand shooting a band engineering band shooting us never a big fan of being shot but the video cameras okay you get you get professionals out there that their little jaded with all that hailand put my mark on this with thisand this is my styleand that I well anybody really if you’ve been doing it long enough you you develop a styleand it’s kind of hard to break out of that the fans shoot from that basically she was able to see so it makes total sense one thing that people can be curious about the tatsand dumb I was just wondering what you had any that you could maybe briefly show whatever it’s a good bit of the story about what it’s in the means to you yet while I mean these guys here first of all means but through my time of the country infatuated with Angelsand just the the next afterlife or somethingand you know my parents leaving us are earlier than others having some kind of guide in my life because I know I like I should’ve died hundreds of timesand I’m not the only one but I can only speak for myself that I know there are things like after I’ve done something like that was really stupid I could like man made my mom or dad or somebody is it made made car turn this way instead or somethingand it’s it’s kinda nice to see those those are realize those things this is my higher power this is an angel bringing the gift of music to me these are actually my hands the the tattoo artist Jack Rudy he he took a Polaroid of my handsand then he copied him so that’s meand struggle this is the angel bringing me music to help me through the fireand this in Latin is don’t die which means gift from God so this one is besides my kids namesand all of the other many of obviously are not meanings but this one is pretty importantand then Cliff you know this is cleverly Burtonand this is the middle bit 20 Ryan the base part delete duty duty do it on right those people find it hard enough to stop drinking like you to win stresses alive around the I know I my battle leaving the bottle way too often some like yourself who has a polygon the US scrutinized by people unfairly whatever like what you kept you going to be Abba to do to do what he can do what you did set deck can’t be an easy thing is it is tough inand learn in certain tools is important to be on the road especially while you are nowadays there’s a lot more bands out there that the bottles not that important to them or the drug or the smoke of the whatever the checks into whatever it is that sidetrack you a lot is not as important as it seems as it used to be but yeah can be challenging on the stuff they’re sitting right in front of you know in them for me is it I’m not really haven’t been really good at long term goals in healthand long term happiness is was always pretty foreign to me to be happy right now I want it now is I feel like shitand into the drain chair that whatever was always a quick quick fix to use it but if I want to if I want to miss it if I eat off of five of five feed the dog that says this was so great remembering this or if I feed the dog that says do look how great your life is right now look at the crap that you used to be in the know this that depends on how you look at itand I know I could I could I could go back in things up pretty quick quickand I don’t need to do that so but also you went you know the criticizing that the public guide of things like that it really depends on my mood is on a really good mood I can I can take anything at any time but if I’m feeling a little insecure little tired or look hungry or whatever it is or just know fraid from the roadand that’s why we don’t go out for such long periods of time as you do you start to get fraid in your head starts to swell you think you’re greater than you are in all of this stuffand I could do whatever I wantand then all of a sudden you don’t do stuff I don’t need to be doing so keep in keep in the tour legs shorter has helped a lotand in all the criticism he has is people are people man you know were no greater than each other we get the same size souland were trying to try to feel happy nor trying to feel loved simple as thatand some people think if they could put someone else down they feel a little more the ego comforts them a little bit I know what that’s like mad so I I contributed to that psychologist being like that now you know get nothing to do with me so been able to tick tenant let it bounce off it is sometimes difficult but that’s the tool I like to use what is it that so that prevents you from some straying away from you telling it there there there are two sites me on that the one side is I’m so happy here I get to write whatever I want to I just wrote an intro to my apocalypse last weekand we played at the concert the other night all this is awesome is a lot of freedom if you let it you know that is a lot of times when we all can it get hung up on each otherand want to try this is like wool may be no way you know this the democraciesand and now I got step backand think second level maybe that’s best that’s best for us for not all in agreement with it let’s not do it man you know or management thinks while this is maybe a bad idea likeand fighting a little bit on itand then click well wherever the passion is I’ll believe you probably be on that the true passion is the keyand that is that we go with that so obviously enough of that in the band to be Abba to the sustain you without taking to the credit elsewhere I think I keep trying to do stuff outside of it you even feel like writing nothing else matters that was not metallic I was not gonna be from attackand I was just meand my head in my know misery for a whileand they heard itand said he ring it onand so it seems like anything is able to be metallic now which is fine as the other side of me this like well you know they’re keeping me know management doesn’t me to do this because it’s affecting the name of the band so I can’t do what I want here in theand he gets gets it gets single mindedand this does notand I know that’s not the right thing to do you know we got a great thing going here is this this part of me that thinks you know as soon as somebody goes offand does a side projectand how I don’t take them seriously anymoreand not not to knock other bands but say it you must let not Corey amazing from an amazing singer please don’t really know which band e zine at the moment you know he’s got so many things going onand if that’s you knowand I can’t I certainly won’t judge him on that if the if it’s maybe it’s maybe he’s doing that to survive maybe the money thing is tough or who knows what it is but maybe not getting in all the stuff that he needs to get in but that’s his that’s his journey I don’t I know I would much rather I think I think I think dedicationand loyalty it was a long way with me what album to you like what you a young kid was one of those outlets I said this is this is my calling man like what the hell is this a guardian more of it by add abuse set black Sabbath no one out of all the records in my brother’s record collection my my my brothers 10 years older than I he was in a bandand he had all kinds of albumsand email from Jethro told of the Beatles to whatever all this other stuff in a put on black Sabbath that was that was pretty much it like Sabbath like Sabbath you self taught here had the first album put it onand it was while this is differentand I like this you know this is got some cool it’s got some ball this got some heaviness it’s got a little bit of scariness in there but as its next level you know it’s is taking it a step further this is just not regular bouncy rock this is the highlight of the way this has this has emotion behind it says howand help our fear whatever it really has to do with your roots man when you’re growing up that stuff so importantand it’s so impressionable on you so everyone has that in their lifeand whatever bandit is at that time you know for my wife it’s no Phil Collins that’s okay it moves her that she reminds her of stuff of her teen years or something that she connects withand goes while I can ground myself in his music for me going back listening to Sabbath listening to Skynyrd listening to UFO listening to priest listening to early maiden stuff like that it does that it does that for me with your proudest track that you overwritten personally itself that’s difficult question because I think we’ve all we’ve all accomplished some great things that with different feels there are some songs that we cannot forget about that I think are pretty amazing I think leading me is one of those moments I think outlaw torn I think the picture you a little bit of those epic E in a with its cut instrumentals with lyrics really there is I’d say the third verse in unforgiven to is a distant when it when it breaks downand there’s that way around land where you know the little law plane is parting from Bob Roxio in the lawand second were professional now it sounds like it’s almost Jimmy page you know so where we were entering the realm of zeppelin at that pointand not pretty proud of that to this easy to most of them going on stage he says something which is up to the back your head that use of sale as you used to be afraid of on the stage but obviously five that yeah water afraid of drowning them out I would say I think all of us together used to be a lot more scared to be okay with no wrong to be wrong were playing just a variation on the album you can get away or you can just say hey I felt it my best I try my bestand that’s all I can do if it was you know 30 in Russia when we played that soloing in my fingers froze up that’s as good as I could do work at my throat was swollen shut like that I’m trying to say nothing else matters I did my best so I think were a little bit better at accepting how things are in the I’d say the thing I’m most afraid of his probably like something like my back going out something like that on stage wishes like you go downand then the wheelchair comes up at the stretcher SCA will make this one up you know you don’t like making gigs upand I’ve kinda been the one who’s been making everyone else make up most the gigs with’s broken arms are catching on fire backs going out or eating bad oysters yeah that’s actually not remembering something on the website about that is like you seem to have that strength that you two way this way keep on going to get the fuck right train rolling while your bestand if it we can do a show you where human at the end of the day if we can’t will make it upand that’s the best we can doand if people travel a long time ways you know to come to that show that they can’t make it the other dates it’s a bummer but it’s part of life in can be superhuman fuel questions always late but yet thank you I really appreciate on really hope they show guys wealthy guys next to not something awesome displaying a part of everything he liked the three days of living doing this with Chaffin Vicki’s it’s it’s been great also experience I really had tends out good looks greatand stuffed as is Le Havre so that ion thanks again Bob we we dignified man we we love having fans come from all over the placeand it’s no snow short swim man for youand others you know we appreciate thatand the dedication that you guys have for usand you know this is upand spread the word of this to good vibes man in a row to have some fun absolutely thinking that if I had to have a right has to get going even investors came to the aliases Celia McKim on again the 20 validated on the task I have lensesand interviewand married okay to a economic spaceand shows NAM Davis been POC for a movie steadfast but it still see pod people answered all the others in their bestand send them in is a public heand Elder can set up it was in a deal of schedulingand reforming a few of spirituality staying here always in a suit all lost key to get the M Solvay spitting us to form signify such assets need to lean in in in some industrial opportunism it could since it will start to buy on a naming scam it’s speeded in dust beneath these needless to all of you to be ancient veins set aside a DEA area today is okay piano I think is a is the government will be seen as that come to an Anita lost the was awarded mainand said that Kindle edition one minute station shows two super massive be the people at on the lobby wasand for scabies cleaning today get some stated that in some cities to diabetesand take other people in schedule started I put sword at the UK the putting she showed on CD you know you need made. Plane lease you are the first because I get off the plane and the essay looks like hell what happened what happened to our president is is a choice between a job super recovery or a buy depression and depression 401 k s down the tubes look out radar software had a little bit yesterday as Nancy Pelosi will not approve stimulus that so enjoy playing a boom or a abiding lockdown but you’re already down in we got again or go we again you like to the deck is every kind of I make this even a little bit of an essay them in one of the right basket I placed a crazy 60 minute was you just kept asking me and then they interviewed sleepy gel is like everybody his fellows and they got great ratings that’s unfortunate they get such good ratings and I want to do it again now what time of the difference one is a craziness I fire coming out of her eyes I love he says that he said I am prepared by tough questions I suggest be fair know I’m a top is the way starts with by this hello this is about did you see the reporters that

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[elven-oracle]

devotion |t.h.|

moodboard by @astral-parker

warnings: death, drinking, depiction of drunkeness, car accident

pairing: frat!tom x sorority!reader

word count: 2.2k

On your 51st wedding anniversary, you admitted to yourself that you were not married to the love of your life. It wasn’t an easy thing to admit, and it was a secret that you would hold with you until you died, but the concept of the truth setting you free was no exaggeration. You stared at your husband, old and deteriorating, and didn’t feel the same way you did when you married him 51 years ago. You had been so naive and young that it had clouded your vision slightly. Sure, you were happy. Your life had been fulfilling enough, but reaching its fullest potential would be far from possible, even when you had gotten married.

You met the love of your life in college. In 2018 you had started your second year, and you still had those bright eyes that were ready to take on the world. This year you moved into your sorority, Delta Delta Delta, and felt confident that this decision was one of the best you had ever made. Greek life was the absolute opposite of what you anticipated. Your sisters lifted you up and encouraged you to be the best person you could be, and you were determined to do the same for them.

On the second day back, before classes started, Greek row threw parties galore, but strictly in the fraternities. Those were the only Greek houses that allowed alcohol for people over the age of 21, but that was a rule that was rarely paid mind to. You had no idea what to expect at this party but attempted to feel as confident as you could when walking into Sigma Alpha Epsilon. The frat was notorious for having good-looking men, and you wanted to flirt tonight. After a few drinks, the warm feeling in your stomach fulfilled the confidence you needed, and your body made its way to the dance floor.

By the end of the night, you hadn’t really talked to anyone of particular interest, and you were starting to lose hope that there was someone here for you. Drunkenly grabbing your coat and heading for the door, a finger tapped you on the shoulder, and you stared into the face of someone that you hadn’t seen at all that night.

“Miss, can I walk you home?” he gave you a half smile that reminded you of the way people awkwardly smiled when passing in a hallway.

Your eyes were half open, “Yeah, sure, just don’t like, take advantage of me or anything,” you could feel the slurring coming out of your mouth. Your tongue felt like it had a weight on it.

He laughed, “I’m sober brother tonight. You have nothing to worry about.”

You didn’t. You woke up the next morning hardly remembering anything past that interaction, but a glass of water and two ibuprofen sat on your bedside table. Whoever he was, he definitely took care of you.

Rubbing your head, you downed the water and the pills and opened your phone to see if you had missed anything. It was 11 am on a Saturday, the day that all the first years arrived on campus. You were supposed to help them move in, but your talent of sleeping through your alarm had prevailed, and it was almost over by now. A kind text from your chapter president notified you that you had nothing to worry about, just be sure to feel better. You must have made an entrance coming home last night.

That wasn’t the text that had you concerned though, it was the other from an unknown number.

Hey! My name is Tom. I’m the junior that brought you home last night. You insisted on me texting you when I got home last night and shouted your number repeatedly at me, so, I’m home! Have a good night!

You snickered. It was normal for you to be more concerned about other people when you were drunk. This wasn’t the first time you insisted on someone texting you when they got home, only to not see it until the next morning.

The following week you found yourself going on a date with the friendly frat boy who had so kindly taken you home. Apparently, you hadn’t made a complete fool of yourself on that walk from ΣΑΕ. It was only coffee, but you hadn’t been on an actual date since high school, so you had a natural enthusiasm that came with infatuation.

It was the best date you had ever been on, to say the least.

There was something about the conversation that flowed. You had anticipated the date to go for about an hour, but you both had enjoyed each other’s company so much that it went for two and a half. As he dropped you off, you almost wished that you didn’t have homework.

“I had a great time,” you smiled, opening his car door to leave.

His dark brown eyes almost looked like they sparkled, “I did too.”

The story of you and Tom falling in love was so typical, you felt like you were in a rom-com. The cute texts, the meticulously planned dates, the way that he looked at you, it was all surreal. You took care of each other. Your sophomore year of college was slowly becoming the best year of your life thus far, and you basked in every second of it.

One morning, you felt a knock on the door to your room. Glancing over at your roommate who was sound asleep, you peeled yourself out of bed and opened it to find Tom, standing in the door frame with a bouquet of sunflowers. He flashed a smile at you.

“Tom what-”

“Happy Saturday, I’ve got our whole day planned. Can you get ready in an hour?”

You smiled back at him, trying to push down the tears of joy welling up in your eyes, “Yeah I can.”

You took the flowers, him kissing your cheek, and hurried to get ready. You strategically layered your clothing, not knowing what precisely you would be doing, and tied your hair into a braid to keep it out of your face. When you walked down the stairs, the look on his face would forever be ingrained to your memory. It was how you wanted to be looked at on your wedding day, except that this was just a Saturday morning date, and you had thrown together your appearance as quickly as you could.

It was magical. The morning was still slightly frosty, being early March, but the sun shined through the car window to give a nice ounce of warmth on your face. You felt like a flower stretching out towards the sun. You looked down at your interlocked fingers and felt butterflies flurry into your stomach. Even after 7 months, Tom still felt like a breath of fresh air.

He took you to the coast, where he had already packed bagels and fruit punch to eat. Laying out a blanket, you both hugged your coats to your body, ate your food, and leaned on one another, letting the sound of the waves crashing on the shore sooth your ears.

“So is there a reason you brought me here today?” you jokingly broke the comfortable silence you both had been sitting in.

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, “Yeah. Actually, there is.”

You hadn’t expected there to be, you were just creating conversation. Your immediate thought was the worst case scenario, and that this was the end of it all, and Tom was about to be the love that got away.

It was precisely the opposite.

He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket, pulling out a piece of jewelry. On a chain sat the letters of his fraternity, Sigma Alpha Epsilon. ΣΑΕ. It was his lavalier.

Traditionally, for students in sororities and fraternities, there was a step between dating and engagement, and that was the tradition of the lavalier. Giving your significant other this pendant was a true confession of a man’s commitment to the woman he loves and holds above everything. You gawked at the pendent, your lips parting in shock.

“I know it’s only been seven months, but I’ve never felt more right about a decision ever in my life. I want to give this to you, and I understand if you don’t want to accept it, but I just want you to know that my devotion to you is endless, and I-” you heard his voice break, and he cleared his throat. “I love you very much.”

You laughed, still in utter shock, “Tom, yes, oh wow. I feel the exact same way-” you cut yourself off, placing your lips on his. It was a passionate, deep kiss that felt like it sealed the deal. You wanted to stay there, with him, for the rest of your life.

You loved the way the letters felt on your neck. You loved being able to announce that he had given them to you at a candle passing ceremony for TriDelta. For your entire life, it felt like that in everything you did there was a tunnel vision. You had been so caught up in your studies that love had put on the wayside. Now your view was opened up. You had more than one thing to live for.

A month later, the night before spring break, ΣΑΕ held another party similar to the one where you had met Tom. This time, you traveled over to the party excited to relax and be yourself. You had gotten to know many of his brothers over the course of the past seven months, and you felt as if you knew what you were getting yourself into as you walked up to the house.

“Y/N! Good to see you! Go grab a drink. I think Tom is in the living room, he’s sober brother tonight.”

You smiled, nodded, and headed to the kitchen to pour yourself a whiskey and Pepsi combination, leaning heavier on the whiskey. Joining Tom on the couch, you slinked into his side, letting him wrap his arm around your shoulders.

By the end of the night, you were in a similar position as you were the night you two had met. You were giggly and excitable, making sure you bothered your boyfriend just the right amount. Through your dizzy and drunken state, you could tell that Tom was still giving you that loving gaze, brushing your hair out of your face every time you leaned over him to laugh.

“Miss, can I drive you home?” he finally said, kissing your forehead and tying your hair back for you.

“Drive? Drive?” the concept seemed insane to you. You only lived a three blocks away!

“You’re a little too...gone for a walk. I would rather just drive you the few blocks and carry you inside,” he stood, offering two hands to get you on your feet. You pulled your heavy eyes to meet his and laughed.

“Yeah, I guess that’s...fine.”

You didn’t think twice about it. His logic was much more sound than yours, anyway, but it was this moment that you would always remember vividly. The choice that changed your life forever.

It was only three blocks. A short, three block drive. Tom was absolutely sober, and there was nothing that should have gone awry. As you cruised slowly, you were about to tell him something.Three little words. It was a fleeting thought that you had told him over and over that night, but meant it every time. He approached a stop sign, looked at you and started driving again, returning his eyes to the road. You looked at him, his puppy dog eyes focused, his brown curls slightly off from you lovingly running your hands through them so many times, and the last thing you saw was the crook of his nose before everything exploded.

They told you it was a drunk driver. They had ran a stop sign going 60 miles per hour in a residential area, and that he was killed on impact. There was nothing they could do for him. You were lucky you made it out alive.

You barely made it out alive. The car had flipped onto its side, and you were dragged out by an EMT. By that point, you blacked out to wake up three days later. A broken hand, three broken ribs, and a fractured collarbone, eight stitches in your lip and 13 in your forehead. Months of physical therapy. A lifetime of mourning.

You never took off that lavalier.

When you were 30 years old you met someone that loved you, and someone you cared deeply for. You said the words “I love you,” but in your heart you held them for someone else. He would always be there, sitting on your heart in the three letters that bought you together.

Three letters, three words.

You sat, age 81, on your anniversary. Your spouse looked kindly into your eyes as you began to let go, walking into the light, leaving all aspects of your physical being behind. It felt like the shedding of a layer of clothing upon entering a warm, comforting room.

You opened your eyes to see the universe. Lights surrounded you, blinking, somewhat resembling a skyline. When you turned around, you saw him. That look. That loving look that you found solace in. The gentle gaze of the person you loved above all else.

“I told you my devotion was endless.”

M A S T E R L IS T

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[vermontswift]

Hey guys!! I hope you’re doing well. I decided months after the concert, and years after my first, that it was time for me to make this post. When I was 8, I fell in love with the idea of falling in love. I became infatuated with the song, You Belong With Me, and I would sit with my younger brother for hours at his computer rewatching the music video. (The only reason I found the song in the first place was thanks to a talent show at my school where two girls sang it so hey thanks haha). Quickly, I think my parents could tell @taylorswift’s music brought a lot of joy into my life. Around that time was when my parents were starting to go through their divorce process. It was hard for my 3 siblings and I, as well as my mom. I didnt see my dad for months and I wasn’t sure if I ever would or wanted to again. But slowly, things got a little better piece by piece. For Christmas that year, I got (the infamous but not infamous) hello kitty boom box along with a fearless cd. From there was where my love truly sprouted. My mom would yell at me to turn down the boom box because it was always playing so loud. The year that the Fearless tour came around it was all I could talk about. But I knew, even from that young age, that we probably wouldn’t be able to afford to go, but I was wrong. One morning my mom told my brother and I we would be driving down to MA to see my aunt for her birthday. We drove past cars decorated in paint, but I had no idea why. See being only 9 I didn’t really have a good conception of what the date was or when the concert even was. We continued our drive, and drove past a car of teenage girls screaming about Justin Bieber holding a photo of them out their window (on the high way). My brother and I thought it was the funniest thing in the world but still had no idea. Pulling up to Gillette Stadium that day, I genuinely thought that we’d gotten lost. My mom started to get my brother and his wheelchair out of the car and I asked what we were doing. I believe I said something along the lines of-wait we aren’t going are we? And when she said we were I still couldn’t believe it and I screamed and cried. I kept asking and the entire night felt completely surreal. My mom was smart enough to have brought binoculars so we could see from our seats. It was truly amazing. My memories between fearless and speak now blur together. I think I remember starting to use TaylorSwift.com more to interact with other fans around this time. I also remember watching the Speak Now announcement livestream and being so excited. I got the album for my birthday in November, and I got concert tickets for Christmas. I remember they were in a shoe box and I was like oh cool shoes, but I opened it and the letter was inside and I sobbed. There’s probably a video somewhere but I don’t know where. I also made a poster for this tour back before there was a dimension limit. It was literally like a science poster board and it said “I want to be like you, you rock!” And I drew a 13 and arm lyrics on my arm. After the speak now era of things I had began middle school (it was around 5/6 grade). It was an especially hard time for me, I didn’t have a lot of friends anymore and since my class only had 33 kids it was hard to make new friends. Despite the cliqueyness of things, and my depression, I continued on. I remember the day that the RED album was announced so well. I had been waiting for weeks and couldn’t contain myself. At the time I had a mentor(kinda like a big sibling program) and I was to hang out with her. I had to explain to her how to get into YouTube and we almost missed the beginning but I was entranced by it. She kept urging me to get off the computer and that I could watch it later but I was so excited. The first song you played brought tears to my eyes. I remember the next year at school I got all folders colored red which was my moms idea and in hindsight made it super difficult to tell which had which stuff but it’s okay I got through it lol. The RED tour I also got tickets for during Christmas and again I was extremely excited. Wow this is getting super long but for the RED tour I spent hours making my poster (which you can see in the photo above). The security guard almost didn’t let me in but we promised not to hold it up and so she let it slide. We wore lights around our necks and I did around my hat and danced all night. At one point I saw Andrea on the jumbotron (did I mention this was my first time having floor seats ahhh). And my mom and I instantly had a game plan. When you came around the other side everyone would rush to be over there so we started walking the empty side and we ran into her. I yelled Hi Andrea! And the security tightened around her. She pushed through them and gave me the biggest hug. I handed her a letter and apologized for it being wet and she laughed and said it’s okay sweetie (wow I was so nervous and cute and 13 wow). I also took a photo with her and she was overall such a sweet person. (Thank you Andrea). For 1989 it was sort of the same shabang again. I watched the live stream in Cape Cod with my best friend and I cried. I couldn’t watch all of it because we had to leave to go somewhere but I was so excited. My first time watching the shake it off video I loved it but was also afraid of the shift in your music. Regardless I loved it and listened to it on repeat. I got tickets to the 1989 tour Christmas of my 8th grade year. This is where things really changed. I started using tumblr, and eventually came across @hellagoodfellas. She was surprised I actually live in VT and we clicked instantly. She introduced me to a new group chat of people who’d be seeing the 1989 concert at Gillette (hey I also met Scott this night he was so nice as well). We started with like 25 people and slowly it got smaller and smaller. We all have grown so incredibly close and I’m thankful to have those girls in my life to this day. We were actually able to meet at Gillette and we were awkward preteens but it’s okay it was still an amazing experience. The reputation era has brought so much empowerment into my life and without it I would be lost. I’ve been struggling a lot this year with my anxiety, I’ve always had it but being a senior in high school there’s just a lot of stress. When Rep came out the summer between my sophomore and junior years it was a god send. I danced and laughed and cried. I was finally started to be alive. Some of my best memories are just from this album and this era so thank you. I was lucky enough to go see 2 shows this year which is mind boggling. Both at Gillette (of course 😉) and I got to see my best friends both nights. Without being able to spend hours creating costumes and posters, or months spent listening to the music I don’t know who I’d be. No, you and your music doesn’t define who I am, but it has shaped me into the person I am today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me (and my mom she’s the real MVP for going to all of these concerts with me) a creative outlet and something to look forward to. For the beautiful works of art you’ve created, and to the future of many more memories to come. Much love, xo, @vermontswift

[brokehorrorfan]

DVD Review: Chillers: The Complete Series

Chillers is a little-known thriller anthology television series that was originally produced under the title Mistress of Suspense in France and the UK, where it debuted in 1990. It adapts 12 short stories by Patricia Highsmith, whose works have also been made into Strangers on a Train, The Talented Mr. Ripley, and Carol, among others. Despite the author being American, the show feels quite European in its pacing and dryness.

Psycho star Anthony Perkins, fresh off of Psycho IV: The Beginning, serves as the host in segments that bookend each episode. As pitch-perfect as he is as Norman Bates, the actor lacks the charisma of similar emcees like Hitchcock on Alfred Hitchcock Presents and The Twilight Zone's Rod Serling. The monologues aren't as witty either, but Perkins serves his purpose, setting the tone and occasionally throwing in a pun.

Episodes filled an hour-long TV block, making them around 52 minutes a piece without commercials, but in most cases the show would have greatly benefited from a half-hour format. It's heavy on melodrama, although dry humor is implemented at times. The subject matter explores humanity's dark side, often involving death and centering on middle-aged characters. Given that every episode is based on Highsmith's work, it's pleasing to see that Chillers employed a relatively high ratio of female writers and directors for its time.

"The Cat Brought It In" is a curious choice for a first episode. Director Nessa Hyams (casting director on The Exorcist and Blazing Saddles) does a fine job, but it hinges on extremely dry humor accentuated by deadpan performances from its cast, including Edward Fox (The Day of the Jackal) and Bill Nighy (Underworld). The story kicks off with a cat bringing severed human fingers into an English countryside home. The family debates about how to deal with the situation, wanting to solve the mystery without drawing attention to themselves.

"Sauce for the Goose" is a stronger effort, reminiscent of something you'd find on Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Ian McShane (American Gods) stars as a suave lounge singer who stays with a middle-aged couple, only to have the wife be seduced by his charm, leading to an affair. Directed by Clare Peploe (Rough Magic), it's a bit slow moving in the first half, but it picks up in the latter portion when murder is introduced.

"Old Folks at Home," written by Gérard Brach (Repulsion), finds a yuppie couple adopting an underprivileged elderly husband and wife. The octogenarians seem sweet, if a bit eccentric, at first, but they becoming increasingly difficult to live with as they ignorantly take advantage of their hosts' good nature. They're never sinister, but rather irritating.

"The Thrill Seeker" follows an otherwise mundane man (Jean-Pierre Bisson) with a most peculiar hobby: conning women - Marisa Berenson (Barry Lyndon) among them - into believing he's a far more impressive personality, like a film producer, mercenary, or author. He's not in it for particularly nefarious reasons, but he does steal a memento from each "victim." Bisson relishes the opportunity to play such a variety of characters, chewing the scenery as some and going subtle as others. The episode is not an entirely successful drama, as it spreads itself thin between playing the concept for laughs, exploring the tragic reality, and making it a thriller.

"The Day of Reckoning" is the most unconventional and, sadly, weakest entry. Samuel Fuller (Shock Corridor) directs this bizarre blend of absurdist comedy and over-the-top melodrama, in which a young man learns the dangers of life on a chicken farm. Many of Chillers episodes feel stretched out to fill the time slot, but this one really struggles, as evidenced with the abundance of chicken B-roll accompanied by on-the-noise music cues implying they're evil.

"Puzzle" follows a man (Stéphane Freiss) who's told that he could receive a big promotion if he's married. The only problem is that he has two girlfriends who do not know abut one another, so he must choose before he gets caught. Like a classic sitcom scenario, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to keep up the charade. Unfortunately, the episode does little to rise above the familiar trope.

"Slowly, Slowly in the Wind" concerns a rivalry between neighbors; one a traditional family man (Jean-Pierre Cassel, Murder on the Orient Express), the other a shrewd businessman (James Fox, Sherlock Holmes). The conflict comes to a head when their children enter a romantic relationship. The plot is nothing particularly groundbreaking, but it's engaging enough.

"A Curious Suicide" is the most Hitchcockian of the bunch and, it should come as no surprise, one of the best. In it, John (Richard Atkin) goes to visit a college friend (Barry Foster, Frenzy) who stole the love of his life from him decades prior. John commits what appears to be the perfect murder early in the episode, leaving the rest of the runtime to see if he's able to get away with the crime. Robert Bierman (Vampire's Kiss) directs from a script by Evan Jones (Victory).

"A Bird Poised to Fly" stars Paul Rhys (Chaplin) as a jilted lover who becomes increasingly infatuated with his muse. Fantasies spiral into obsession as his love letters go unreturned. The piece shows shades of Fatal Attraction, but writer/director Damian Harris (Deceived) and writer Nick Villiers (Blood and Wine) opt for a more dramatic character study that isn't nearly as exciting.

"The Stuff of Madness" is directed by Mai Zetterling, better known in front of the camera as Helga from The Witches. Ian Holm (The Lord of the Rings) stars as a man whose wife collects her deceased pets as taxidermy. Meanwhile, he has a peculiar idiosyncrasy of his own: he fantasizes about a mannequin that reminds him of a long-gone mistress. It's sort of like a psychosexual take on that Seinfeld episode in which the gang finds a mannequin that looks just like Elaine.

"Under a Dark Angel’s Eye" is perhaps the most horror-leaning episode, which naturally plays to my tastes. Ian Richardson (From Hell) stars as a man who returns to England after a decade away to oversee the sale of his childhood home. While there, he checks up on his old friends - played by Peter Vaughan (Straw Dogs) and Anna Massey (Peeping Tom) - who look after his overbearing, hateful mother who still haunts him. There's no murder in this one, but it's a dark tale of karma and guilt.

"Something You Have to Live With" ends the series on a fairly strong note. Jessica's (Tuesday Weld, Once Upon a Time in America) dream home turns out to be a nightmare when she kills a robber that breaks into her house. Director John Berry (The Bad News Bears Go to Japan) focuses on the aftermath as the unfortunate incident weighs heavily on her conscience.

Chillers, like any anthology, is hit and miss depending on the episode. It warrants a recommendation for fans of European fare, but don't expect it to compare to the more successful anthologies of yesteryear. Mill Creek Entertainment's new DVD set of the complete series crams all 12 episodes onto two discs. (An out-of-print 2005 release by Echo Bridge Entertainment had three DVDs.) Between the old, standard definition transfers and over five hours of content on each disc, the quality isn't great, but it's watchable.

Chillers: The Complete 12-Part Anthology Series is available now on DVD via Mill Creek Entertainment.

[wanderingtrash]

yo i gots a request (if you doing them ofc) - spy harry and criminal reader 🌚 issa concept

A/N: Oooh I love this idea! Currently on Christmas break at the moment but I’ll leave you guys with this (;

**

Harry had never been one to turn down a mission. Never.

Rather he was the first one to volunteer for a mission. He was a clearance A agent. One of the top levels to be. And he didn’t get there by being weak and cowardly.

So when he was assigned a mission to take out one of the city’s most wanted theives Harry didn’t hesistate. But oh boy he had a run for his money.

The plan was simple. He was, with his flirtatious charm engage in a coversation with her. At one of the local bars she did her trading in. Pretending to have no idea about who she was or what her profession was. Maybe take her to the hotel he was saying at and try to get some details out of her. Even just a little would help.

Harry suited up in his best white Gucci suit. His chocolate colored locks were slicked bad. His favorite cologe on.As he pulled up the parking lot of the all exclusive club ‘Envie’. He was a nervous wreck. How could he not be? He knew (Y/N) had allies. She was dangerous even though he had never met her, what he had heard and how wanted she was, was confirmation enough. His green eyes glanced at the review mirror one last time making sure he looked sharp.

Once he had made sure he was presentable he opened the door to his black Range Rover. A young valet parking boy came immediately to his side. He had a few areas of acne on his face and had on a red uniform.

“Thank you.” Harry said and pulled out his wallet, pulling out a 100 dollar bill Harry could swear he saw the boy’s brown eyes sparkle. With a pat to the boy’s back Harry made his way inside.

The huge curive neon letters on top of the club glowing amongst the long line that awaited to be met inside. The air was humid and hot, enough to send anyone with no want to go home.

He saw the hugely built bouncer looking at the list to see if the next person could go in. The bald man had a walki talki on his belt and a taser as well.

Harry recognized the man. By the huge Athena carrying a sword tattoo on his shoulder. It was pretty hard to miss especially in his profession. The guy was wanted for several black market sales he had made. Making a mental note to himself Harry walked up to him. He had it all figured out. His allias name was under the VIP list. Something he (with his resources) had made sure to accomplish.

The bald man felt Harry’s body next to him and looked up. “Do you not see the line sir? There are many more people looking to get in other than you.“

The man said with his rough voice. A viscous tone to his words. Harry could smell the cigarettes and alcohol on the man’s breath. It made Harry’s face scrunch in disgust at the mixture. The people in the line were getting angsty as well. A few men were about ready to fight Harry and a few women were yelling at him.Harry simply looked amused.

“I wouldn’t be talking to a VIP guest like that if I were you mate.” Harry responded with a grin. “Mason Ellington” Pulling out his fake ID with the allias name Harry almost shoved it in the bald man’s face.

Disgruntled and almost in the mindset of murdering Harry. He angrily flipped a few pages. His eyes widened as soon as the name sure enough appeared under the VIP guest list name.

But of course the buff man’s surprised expression didn’t last long as it was replaced by it’s usual rough self. The man moved from his place infront of the door to let Harry in. Not saying a word to him as he waited for Harry to walk inside to continue his job.

Harry slipped his fake ID in his wallet and placed his wallet in the pocket of his dress pants. He walked inside and his ears were immediately attacked with the loud sound of music.

The white colored lights flickered on and off giving Harry a slight headache. Red, blue, and green lights shone against his green orbs. The place was dimmed, the flashing colored lights the only light source. The scent of cigarettes and different types of alcoholic drinks lingered in the air. The place was hot and the loud music blocked out the sound on the people talking. People were dancing and having a great time.

But Harry was only there for one reason.

Harry walked to the bar. A woman around her 30’s serving drinks and talking to an older man. Harry sat down on the bar stool and his eyes skimmed around the club. Trying to find any sight of the imfamous (Y/N). His target.

Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He had no idea what this (Y/N) looked like. She was a sneaky on they said. Doing her work in secret and not letting herself be seen.

Feeling the presence of someone beside him Harry looked to his left. A woman about his age sitting on the bar stool. Her hair loose and the black dress that exposed her thigh from the slit that ran down her leg. He turned his head a bit to look at her face and Harry’s breathing stopped for a second.

Her lips her tinted red and her cheeks were a rosy red. Her make up was done so perfect it looked natural against her features. Harry had never seen anything so intoxicating yet lustful at the same time in his life.

She must’ve felt him staring because she looked at him with her eyes dazed. A small smirk on her red lips as she looked at the handsome stranger that was eyeing her. The heat of her cheeks rose a bit more.

“Like what you see stranger?” She asked with a voice that made Harry’s manhood stiffen a little. A mix of a harsh shot of whiskey and the golden sweetness of honey is all Harry could think to describe her seductive voice. Or maybe she wasn’t trying to be seductive at all. Maybe it was her nature. Harry didn’t know.

Harry grinned a little. His deep dimples coming into view. His own flirtatious side coming out. “You’re hard to miss.” He laughed reaching out for his drink that the blonde waitress had brough him. He sipped on his cocktail. The sweet yet bitter taste filling his taste buds.

“Yeah? That’s a new one, usually get hit on a hit differently.” The beauty told Harry. He was gorgeous sure. But was he worth her attention? She hoped so.

“Who said I was hitting on yeh’?”

She felt like laughing, a chuckle managed to slip past her lips at his comment. He was playing hard to get. She could do the same if he was playing games. “You’re right. I’m way out of your league anyways.” Her shoulders lifted up and she moved her hair to the side. Something about this woman’s persona made Harry infatuated with her. If he could only figure out what.

“Heeey that’s not very nice.” Harry teased her. His hand going to run through his brown colored hair. “Anyone here in your league?”

Her head turned from side to side looking at the people in the club passing by. Then back at him. “Nope, too many losers.” She said with a wink thrown his way. If she wasn’t flirting Harry had no idea what she was doing.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh at her choice of words. She seemed like the type of woman to not let just any man get in her circle. And Harry liked that.

“Well I’m here aren’t I? I’d like to think I’m the farthest thing from a loser ”

“A bit in the cocky side aren’t we?”

“Not Cocky.” Harry shook his head. A smirk on his features. “Confident.”

Before the woman could respond a built tall man came to her side. Whispering something in her ear that Harry couldn’t hear. He saw her smile widen a bit more at what the man was telling her. “That’s great Adam. Let’s go now to finish the deal.” The Adam guy nodded and looked at Harry for a moment before walking off.

She turned back to Harry with her playfully smile etched on her lips. “It was nice meeting you stranger. But I’ve got some business to finish.” She said sliding off the bar stool.

Harry quickly drank the rest of his drink and stood up as well. “Hey, I didn’t get your name.” He asked her as she was about to walk off. Her back turned to him. She froze but then laughed a bit.

“(Y/N)” Was all she said before walking off.

And Harry was left standing frozen in place.