#but yet so emotional for those two?
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damn I’m really out here just breaking hearts left and right all bc people broke mine.
#me#sad#personal#love#depression#zockom#Juan#I’m emotionally unavailable to the right kind of people#but yet so emotional for those two?#I need a fucking therapist#and a blunt
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As I Do Thee Fanzine | Deeb, 1989
#this is one of those pieces of fan art that just#tear my heart in two#so much emotion#yet so simple#mustve been wild to be a part of trekdom in those days#star trek tos#fan art#fanzines#star trek#captain kirk#admiral kirk#star trek movies#space#1980s#the wrath of khan#search for spock#spirk#k/s#the premise#sci fi#science fiction
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The most moderate, nuanced and productive people I have discussed the Israel-Hamas war with have been Jews, Israelis, and people with Palestinian family. Everyone directly affected by this just wants it to stop and to have peace and safety in the region in a way that minimises the casualty count.
The most extreme and performative and vile things I've been told are by people who have no connection to this and like to think they are experts because they have covered adjacent topics during learning, or read stuff online.
If all the randos in the west would just shut up for ten minutes and let those of us actually affected, with an understanding of the history of the land and the culture and the generational trauma experienced by Jews and Palestinians alike talk, we might actually have a chance to salvage this and stop it spiraling
#jumblr#antisemitism#i/p#nuance is something so easy to have and yet people choose not to#we are measured and non extreme because we dont have the privilege to be angry.#someone literally said that they wont ensge further with me because the topic makes me emotional#jews get called genocidal#palestinans get called Antisemitic#how about the rest of you shut the fuck up and let the adults talk#maybe youll learn how to problem solve and not be a bigot if you listen to those you so desperately want to hate#its pathetic#we all know hamas doesnt represent all Palestinians#we also know hamas teaches Antisemitism in schools in gaza and the west bank#these two things can and should co-exist in your head#that doesnt meam all palestinians are rabid jew hating murderers#it means the situation is complicated and not black and white and will take more than just screaming for a ceasefire to actually solve#we are not a football for your performative activism
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Utopia protecting and worrying about Astral
#I often think about this#something something about Utopia being literally created by Astral and being the only Number who stayed with him when he reached the Earth#and being not only the symbol of the relationship between Astral and Yuma but also their most loyal monster and ally#Their relationship is so important to me#Utopia always stood up for Astral#and when Astral said to him to go and help Yuma Utopia didn't do it immediately#Utopia looked at him worry because Astral would be completely alone against 96#but Astral wanted Yuma safe more than he wanted himself be safe and I think that Utopia knew that#aside from all that the battle scene between Utopia and Black Mist is one of my favorites#it's so cool and those two are my favorites Numbers so I always love rewatching it#and once again I'm making myself emotional over Astral and Utopia#but that last look! The last look that Utopia gave to Astral before trying to go#and also the fact that Astral sent Utopia to Yuma knowing that doing that would left him defenseless#and yet he did it anyway because helping Yuma was more important than his own safety#I already said it and I will say it again because I love them#astral zexal#astral yugioh#number 39 Utopia#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
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one of my favorite games to play whenever i rewatch the bear is “spot the very realistic health code/basic kitchen rule violations”
so far my favorite is one of the ones i’ve never seen mentioned: how often people wear their aprons outside the kitchen, which is absolutely a no-no and equally absolutely happens all the goddamned time and i am speaking from a lot of experience on that one
#ohhhh the many times over many jobs i realized i hadn’t taken my apron off yet when i was very much supposed to#but then i went fuck it. fuck this job. fuck the customers. i realized it before i hit the dumpsters or the bathroom it’s F I N E#we shall roll these dice together fucking assholes who don’t tip: me knowingly and you unknowingly but deservedly#my other favorite thing isn’t a healthcode violation (except when they’re in their aprons but don’t replace them after coming inside after)#and it’s crying and/or heart to hearts by the dumpsters (smoking optional but often involved)#have you truly worked in a restaurant until you have had an emotional breakdown by the dumpsters? i submit: no#to a degree where even the coworkers i hated and who hated me back found our common humanity next to the dumpsters#it’s hard to entirely hate somebody sweating and cursing next to you as you both throw out somebody else’s trash#because those people come here to enjoy life and we two? we band of unhappy brothers? we came to earn minimum wage#not to romanticize jobs i often hated so very very much#but There’s Something To This
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This creature has been smooched on her face and stuffed full of snacks <3
We qualified each rally obedience run (despite large areas requiring handler improvement <3) and finished the weekend with a 97, 84, and 97. This baby dog now has her Rally Advanced title!
(All rosettes were default as we were the only ones in our class.)
#a whole collection of emotions#I am really proud of her#she is a fun little dog and she tries so hard#I asked too much of her to do two trials in a day (now I know)#lots of areas for improvement but this was a nice satisfying way to finish trialing for a while#my low key goals this year was her RN and CH (if we were lucky)#so to have finished both of those + her RA has me a bit lost now#we're probably taking a break for a while until I figure out what our next steps are#she's growing up so fast and yet is so baby 😭#turnpike#gotta go camping with all this nice weather
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What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?
What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.
#my characters#this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL#they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve#deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird#like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire#but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body#like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo#he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever#on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things#and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic#he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity#and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him#this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today#i received gift art of these two and i may never recover#its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him#its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer#its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire#so hes like oh well thats odd hmm#and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things#and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item#or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares#he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness#and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures#like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed#he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified#and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool
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Just went to uni and instead of doing anything spent 3h agonising about ending my relationship. I'm sure this is good and normal
#it. idk I just don't really wanna be single rn and deal with all of that#and also I have silvester and first new year weekend plans hinging on this person and I kinda really don't want to find something else to do#but by god#I mean maybe my expectations are just too high as to how much I see my partner (doubtful)#or her lifestyle (has a shitton of things going on) and personality (not super communicative) are just not suited for polyamory#(and I have the same problems but I'm not the person who has two partners)#(and the fact that I can't really get a read whatsoever on her other partner is not helpful. like we vibe on occasion but mostly#I just do not get him at all)#but idk. like. we see each other like twice a week and those are like. during dance and for a pubquiz#and maybe going to the library#and it's just like to my expectations we are barely doing the bare minimum I need to have my emotional needs met#so whenever something falls through I am immediately devastated#but again I feel like 'I would like to see you outside of a social engagement with our friends at least once a week#and additionally also would like to sleep in the same bed as you at least once a week' are not high expectations whatsoever#and yet ....#when did we last have sex? Oh idk in october? maybe? I don't remember#which is that super important to me in a relationship? no. but like I don't think it's bc neither of us is interested#it's bc since then we have not managed to sleep in the same bed while neither of us was either on their period or extremely tired#and idk maybe I should write this to them instead of like. venting on tumblr. like this is also very much on me#but like#idk maybe it just also is a sign that maybe I don't care so much about this relationship. but also I feel like I still care more than her.#which isn't great#idk advice?#it's just. this current situation has me regularly having several hour breakdowns bc shit's not working out once again.#and that situation I really don't like
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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this is what happens to dca fic writers
#dont question the mosquito#it was for an art request#that i have yet to begin because i already have two others#anyways i never got a straight answer so can someone pls help#yk those scenes in fics where itll say “the fans turned on” after an emotional moment or smth#if sun was perhaps very angry would his fans turn on afterwards#do they even have fans#trying to make this make sense but i urrghgghghhh#somebody fucking help me#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf sun#fnaf fic#fnaf fanfic#fanfic wip#wip#ao3 wip#fic writing#dca fandom
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oh my god i just finished the dark forest finally. 7/10 i suppose, i went through the first half or so of the book being really annoyed by luo ji but also enjoying the chapters where he shows up because unfortunately he was entertaining. still don't understand the imaginary girlfriend thing, it just feels like he needs someone to protect from the world which like ??? ok sure i guess, it just rubs me the wrong way personally. for the second half and especially the end i became luo ji's number one defender it's fine. for the rest, holy crap—the droplet, the microcosm of the universe on those runaway ships, the wallfacer project, luo ji drawing from rey diaz's plan, the attitude of the world towards him, the entire theory... wow
#i dont even know my brain's exploding#i don't think it's an incredibly great plot per se but it's enough to keep me interested and the concepts are interesting and thats enough#again shi qiang the mandatory emotional support. i was so touched when he said goodbye to luo ji even tho it was just a false alarm#also dongfang yanxu (btw her name??? homophone for 'the east lives on'??) and those two other captains using just their eyes to#communicate just like zhuang yan imagined... ough and then all that destruction#三体#tbh was reminded of the trisolarians when zhang beihai started waxing on about the new morals the new humanity might have#make judgements without feeling and yet it killed him in the end#generally the moment luo ji wakes up and is almost killed 6 times (kind of funny tbh) shit literally just kept happening#also @ great depression 2. like the great ravine or smth? idk it felt close to cultural rev 2. greenpeace as a 人奸 organization💀💀💀💀💀💀#the aesthetics of trisolarians are great tho. first the droplet then the giant signaling device they send#so beautiful its something humans can't even imagine is a nice description. reminds me illogically of eschers art#王明军 the audiobook reader needs like 10 million awards actually. i feel like i didn't really think abt it when listening to book 1#but his voice and narration is really good he reads with feeling which is incredible for when i dont want to keep reading#my post#i was very touched at the end tho he really said i'll become an alcoholic#the wallfacer project and its tolls on the saviors of the world or something#also a surprising amount of christianity references i feel#idk tho#three body problem#main gripes were that the switching of perspectives bored me lol the three retired old grandpas were alright#but i was bored out of my mind at zhang beihai's pov before shit started going down sorry dude#it annoys me how grandpas + chang weisi and all those other people kind of just get written out but i suppose this is not the target f#for science fiction anyways??
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created another reparative experience for the pile today. these are getting so mundane now, in the best of ways.
i'm on vacation in the one place my family would ever take me to when i was a kid. it's a cozy beach town, and a vacation spot that i've reclaimed as my own. i don't know if i've actually been here more times as an adult than as a kid, but certainly more times as an adult that i actually remember.
and the thing is: this is a pretty chilly place.
i totally thought i came prepared. checked the forecast, packed a hoodie... but 65 on a sunny still day is different than 65 on a windy, misty beach.
as a kid, i would've been told to suck it up. or worse, would've had to lie that i wasn't uncomfortable so that my mother wouldn't force her jacket on me and then make it my problem that she was the cold one now... (and then incite my father's wrath at both of us for being... needy)
so. i bought myself a jacket.
yanno, like tourists do.
it's got an octopus on it and everything.
which is something my parents would have found absolutely unthinkable. you should've been more prepared, you should've worn your mother's jacket, you shouldn't waste your money, you shouldn't be so fucking weak
but here i am. with a cool jacket. that i bought because i committed the sin of not being fully prepared
#my mom's must-be-prepared-for-everything anxiety combined with my dad's emotional constipation made for a very messy yet delicate balance#of never leaving the house without EVERYTHING we could possibly ever need but ALSO being constantly shamed for being prepared#as if the shame itself would prevent unwanted futures#and then when you ended up in one of those futures you were shamed for that too#so i rebeled (differentiated) by refusing to take more than the barest necessities wherever i went#and keeping any and all disconfort to myself. i wouldn't even PEE if i felt like it wasn't my choice to#(and my mom had a Whole Thing about telling me what my body did and didn't feel)#(on top of being an emotional bomb that constantly needed diffusing)#it's definitely A Thing(TM) being back here#my first semester of college i came down here for a night or two during fall break. didn't tell my parents. flat out lied actually#i'd been on my own for a few months at that point#came here another time a few months before i moved out of state in 2019#and took the first step to settling into my gender and body post transition#oh and did i mention that i've stayed at the same hotel every single time i've visited?#it wouldn't be a trip here otherwise#personal
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Quick PSA about this blog
The anon and I sorted it out over DMs so all is good now!
I'm not a huge Tetocest fan or anything, I just like it when someone draws really nice drawings of them and they happen to be Teto x Teto, so the chance of me drawing Teto x Teto is kinda low but not zero. Like I wrote in my chart, I mostly treat them as a cute pair of sisters, and that chart was a Miku x Teto chart because Negidrill is my OTP.
If I ever make Tetocest art, it's not with the assumption that they're sisters or related or seeing each other in a familial way. I'm grossed out by incest of any kind, and I'm also grossed out by pseudo-incest. Tetocest (selfcest) is literally Teto x herself/a different version of herself, not a relative or anything, so I wanted to make that clear.
I'll be tagging all my stuff that isn't quick doodles/text, so if you're anti-Tetocest or Teto x Teto or something, you can blacklist that tag or avoid me altogether because I don't hate it. The chance I'll draw actual Teto x Teto that isn't cute platonic love is like 5% though, 'cuz I like Miku x Teto more than anything and that's my main priority.
If anyone has beef with anything I like, I absolutely encourage you to unfollow me or avoid me because this is where I post art of MY interests and I don't want to be treated like a criminal in my own space.
My Miku x Teto is NOT proship (I always ship them around the same age) and I don't support proship or anything weird/immoral. I'm fine with criticism if I do something wrong but please don't be aggressive towards me because Mktt is extremely precious to me and I don't want to be chased away from my own space. You won't believe my ability to self-isolate lol but I'm not afraid of being alone, even if my love for Mktt will never die (especially not 'cuz of anyone).
For now I'll continue to draw/write Mktt/Voca/UTAUloid art at my own leisure with my own headcanons and interests, and I'm not doing it for attention. I'm doing it out of love for the characters.
Thanks for reading! ^^
#tldr; i'm not a diehard fan of tetocest but#i dont hate it either#mktt is still my otp#dont trash my interests pls since i'm in my own lane#that is all!#btw i might be low activity for a week or two cuz finishing something i procrastinated thru mktt#but after that i wanna go all in on mktt art!! i love ngdrll a lot#it makes me extremely happy so if people trash it or attack me then i'll get defensive/heated#im sharing stuff out of love and spreading the love but if i am only greeted with hate then#i wont disappear but u will not be given access to my stuff or me. like?? please.#looking forward to miku's bday! i havent figured out if i can do anything for her yet!#dont hate on anon btw it was a misunderstanding#they're anonymous anyway so u cant namedrop but i want to put this behind me now#mktt stop putting me thru rollercoaster emotions challenge (failed)#it's cuz i love them so much ok. sob 😭#u would get it too if you loved them as much as me#it's like being stabbed btw whenever anything bad happens lmao.#idk how that feels but all i know is the pain is felt and sharp and sad#it's not an addiction or an obsession. i just love them. end of.#hopefully forever#if u were me u'd get it but im not writing my backstory heh#i dont love them in a pathetic/unwilling way. it's all 100% choice and conscious#the really strong emotions however. those i do not choose lmfao.
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hiii! here's a question for you: what's the story of how you got into F1?
Helloooo, so it's honestly pretty silly. So in my prev fandom, this author I really like(hello if you see this, you know who you are djfkkf) wrote an f1 au oneshog. And I read it once and was like huh interesting, cause I never had really heard of f1 before, and had to look up some terms bcs I was so ???? at everything(my Google search history: what does p1 in f1 mean? What is drs? What is a team principal? etc etc)
But I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I read it again, and again. And then I looked on the author's tumblr blog and saw he had answered some asks abt f1, like explaining the dynamic involved in the oneshot he wrote, and recommending how to get into it. So next step: watch a bit of DTS. And I definitely thought it was interesting, but I think I only watched 3 or so episodes. But hey! There was a race that very weekend, and I wanted to watch the actual sport and boom there we go, total landslide into my life being taken over.
F1 is such an interesting fandom to get into bcs the amount of info you have to learn. And it's really difficult at the beginning with all these things, concepts and people you've never heard of. So it was very fun to experience that over the course of a few races, like every weekend I came into it with more passion and knowledge! There's some word I'm thinking of that I can't remember aahhhh, but yeah basically its crazy the amnt of info you need to learn before you feel comfortable and at least somewhat knowledgeable.
Also one other funny thing, I think I may have talked abt this before. My brother is such a car guy, so back when I first got in, I really wanted to ask him if he liked f1. And so we're talking on the phone, and completely unprompted he's like "Ugh it sucks that I was abroad when the US GP happened"(he lives in Austin.) And I'm like OH SO YOU LIKE F1!? And now we're a lot closer than we were before that, bcs of f1 :)
#i really learned a lot in btwn races it was so fun#it was kimda fun honestly those first races#bcs you rly dont have as much anxiety and emotions yet 😭#cause now when i watch races im just yknow completely enthralled w nando and always so tense abt his results#but back then it was just. i only knew Max and he was doing quite well so it was easy to root for him#hahaha tho bcs of the fic i read i could only think abt Max as the character he was compared to#<- it was Anakin btw sjkfkg#so for the first two or so races i kept accidentally calling him Anakin 😭#but like by the third race i knew way more and had more opinions#but ill still always feel fond for Max as my introduction to the sport and first fav <3#ah man so crazy that i actually ended up going to cota 😭 just bcs of that whole thing w my brother#it was weird to go to the race that started our f1 connection 🥺#catie.asks.
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ohh the joy of videos and streams... i like listening to people talk about things they like/think about it’s very contagious... 🥺
#lizzy speaks#THIS IS BROUGHT TO U BY THE MINATO BRAINCELLS SHAKING BACK AND FORTH..#so so many of my interests feel like they're in some kind of hibernation lately in terms of the emotions they evoke#my brains been mostly gravitating towards formulating strategies and trying new things in splatoon right now... LOL.. so i havent thought-#a whole bunch about other things i like even if they do mean a lot to me..#so i really appreciate being around other people who really like the things that they like because its infectious and reminds me why-#i enjoy those characters / ships / whatever else#like oh... ryomina.. minato.. ryoji... i love them very much and i like hearing other people express their appreciation for them#also yosuke.... i like hearing my friends talk about yosuke his characters a very fun one for me even if i never took the time 2 personally#analyze him its just very nice to be around that kind of energy! im so grateful!#related but unrelated squid school made a video about the splatoon manga... which i havent thought abt in a month or two#yet somehow watching that revitalized my sleeping lil braincell that loves vintage coroika...#IDK i just feel like lately ive gotten to be around a very contagious positive energy of people who appreciate stuff and i like that!!#mayb ill stream again... something about talking about things out loud and not over text evokes a certain kind of insanity#i like to draw to express my love 4 the things i've come across but sometimes i think too much abt the quality.. LOL#so maybe ill just go FUCK IT we ball!! better to draw than to not draw at all. or ill just stream 2 outlet the 'hehe i love so many things'#there is so much love stored in my heart it hurts i lov So many Things and I love Being reminded of that god i love people loving things!!!
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