#but yeah. this was way harder than i thought it would be
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OHMYGOOOOOOD
Thank God this wasn't as sad as the others đ I needed a break from crying.
"Maybe itâs fate," she joked, but her tone had a hint of seriousness.
The way I almost screamed bc IT IS FATE đĽşđŠˇ
Logan followed without complaint, falling into step beside you as you made your way to the car. The streets were quieter than usual, but the tension between rival families was palpableâsomething was brewing, and everyone knew it.
Istg when I read this I was so sure y/n would end up with a bullet between her eyes, that's how scared I amđ
You laughed, standing up and dusting your hands off. âSorry to disappoint. Iâve got a weakness for strays.â
Logan being the ultimate strayđ
đ¤ she's always drawn to him
Mr. Russo gave Logan a once-over, then grinned, his false teeth gleaming. âYou any good at cards, tough guy?â
This was so precious to me!! Logan playing cards with y/n and her friends â¤ď¸
âYeah?â You took a step closer, crossing your arms with a playful grin. âAnd here I thought Iâd be driving you crazy.â
âYou do,â he murmured, almost too quietly. His lips turned up slightly, but he looked away, that unspoken wall going back up.
This has so many meanings, not only flirting but I can imagine after over 100 years loving and losing the same person over and over, that would definitely drive him crazy
You glanced down the hall and shrugged. âGuess I can live with that. For now.â
Loganâs lips twitched, just barely. âFor now,â he echoed, and there was something heavier in those words, something he wasnât sharing.
MY HEART ACHEDđđđđ
The kiss was desperate, wild, like he was making up for lost time. His lips claimed yours with a roughness that sent a shiver down your spine, his hands moving to cradle your face, pulling you closer as if he couldnât stand the distance. You gasped against his mouth, your fingers finding their way into his hair, tugging him down harder.
Logan groaned into your mouth, a deep, almost pained sound, and the desperation in it made your blood race. He kissed you like he was starving, like he needed this, needed you, and you felt your body melt into him.
Omfg I've never seen them so passionate it's making me feel things đŽâđ¨ the smut was perfect balance of passion and desperation
And this time, he was determined to make it last as long as he could. Maybe, just maybe, even put that ring to use.
Screaming crying throwing up đđĽşđĽşđĽş bc I desperately need to see when he proposes but I can't even imagine how it would go
You felt a surge of affection for him then, this man whoâd somehow become both your protector and your closest confidant. He was rough around the edges, guarded and distant with everyone elseâbut with you, he was different. You brought out a softness in him, a warmth that felt as though it had been buried for a long, long time.
This might be one of the best dialogues I've read, bc it's so true 𼺠for decades this man has tried everything in his power to cherish and protect the love of his life, she's the only one that brings out a resemblance of peace on himđđ
Loganâs gaze darkened. âItâs not. You know that. And anyone who tries to take it without your say? They got me to deal with.â His voice was low and dangerous, a promise just for you.
Forever obsessed with this story and the way he will do anything to help and adore y/nâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
i love you, in every time ŕżâ§â 1973 - we meet again my dear...
chapter summary: After leaving Team X behind, Logan finds himself back in New York City working as a bodyguard for various people. Until he finds himself acting as a bodyguard for you, a mobster's daughter.
word count: 18.3k+
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: i'm a sucker for the bodyguard trope (and also just dofp logan in general, that man makes me go feral), so you know i had to do it when given the chance! i had so much fun writing this version of reader, especially because this is the closest to 'modern' times that we've gotten and i didn't have to do a ton of research about this year. the tags might give away a little bit of the plot, but i promise it's gonna be a fun ride ;)
warnings/tags: fluff, angst, 70s!logan, mafia/mob, implied age gap, flirting, smut, thigh riding, unprotected piv, creampie, arranged marriage
series masterlist - chapter 4 â chapter 6
He left Stryker, Victor, and Team X behind, settling in New York City as a bodyguard, hired by various people: politicians, the mafia, anyone.
Logan was now getting his fifth job, protecting a mobsterâs young daughter.
He was used to jobs like this by now, but something about this one felt... different. As he walked through the large estate, the details blurred around him. His focus was on the jobâuntil the moment he saw you.
You were standing by the window, the sunlight filtering through the curtains, casting a soft glow over your face. There was something familiar about the way you held yourself, the way your hair fell over your shoulders. For a second, it felt like the air was sucked out of the room.
Loganâs chest tightened.
It was you.
Same face. Same presence. Same pull that had haunted him for over a century.
But you were different, too. This time, you werenât a schoolteacher, a nurse, or a coal minerâs wife. You were his new job.
You turned, eyes meeting his, and for a brief moment, it felt like you recognized him too. That sense of familiarity flickered across your face before you smiledâpolite, but distant.
âY/N, this is Logan,â the mobsterâyour fatherâintroduced. âHeâll be your new bodyguard.â
Your fatherâs voice faded into the background as Loganâs gaze remained locked on you. You gave a small nod, extending your hand. âNice to meet you, Logan.â
Logan stared at your hand for a beat too long before taking it. That brief contact sent a shock through him, an old memory he couldnât quite shake.
âLikewise,â he muttered, his voice rougher than he intended.
Your father clapped Logan on the back. âI expect youâll keep her safe. Thereâs been some... tension with a rival family.â
Logan only nodded, but his attention stayed on you. You were right in front of him, alive. But you didnât know him. Like always.
After your father left the room, you leaned against the window frame, crossing your arms. âSo, how long have you been doing this?â you asked, your tone casual.
Logan leaned against the wall, watching you closely. âLong enough.â
You raised an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth. âThatâs vague.â
He didnât respond, and for a moment, silence settled between you two. It wasnât uncomfortable, but there was something unsaid hanging in the air.
âWhat about you?â Logan asked, more to fill the space than out of curiosity. âHow do you feel about having a bodyguard?â
You shrugged. âIâve had worse.â
That earned a faint, almost imperceptible smile from Logan, but he quickly covered it with a grunt. âGlad to hear it.â
A pause. Then you looked at him, your eyes narrowing slightly, like you were trying to figure him out. âYou seem... familiar.â
Logan stiffened. âDonât think weâve met before.â
You tilted your head, studying him. âNo, but... I donât know. Something about you.â
Loganâs heart pounded in his chest, but he kept his expression neutral. He couldnât tell you. Not about the past lives, not about how many times he had watched you die.
You shrugged it off, smiling again. âMaybe Iâm just imagining things.â
âMaybe,â Logan muttered, not meeting your eyes this time.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of introductions, schedules, and instructions from your father. Logan followed at a distance, keeping an eye on you, but his mind was elsewhere.
That night, Logan sat on the balcony just outside your room, staring out at the city lights. His thoughts raced, the weight of the engagement ring in his pocket feeling heavier than usual.
You were alive. Again.
But for how long this time?
---
You plopped onto your bed, the wire from your rotary phone stretching with you, âhe is good looking though.â
You could practically hear Jenniferâs grin through the phone, âoh, yeah? Man, all your bodyguards are good looking. Itâs not fair!â
You laughed, twirling the phone cord between your fingers. "Heâs⌠different though. I canât quite put my finger on it. Heâs quiet, but not in the usual 'Iâm-paid-to-watch-you' way."
"Is he mysterious?" Jennifer teased, her voice light. "Maybe heâs got some dark, brooding backstory. Mob families always hire guys like thatââstrong and silent.â"
You snorted. "Maybe. But heâs not like the others." You hesitated, leaning back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling. âThereâs something familiar about him⌠like Iâve met him before.â
Jennifer paused on the other end of the line, then her voice softened. "You think heâs one of your dadâs guys from back in the day?"
You shook your head, even though she couldnât see it. "No, itâs not that. Itâs⌠weird, Jen. Like I know him, but I donât. Itâs been bugging me since I met him."
"Maybe itâs fate," she joked, but her tone had a hint of seriousness. "Youâve been going through bodyguards like theyâre tissues. Maybe this oneâs here to stick around."
You rolled your eyes but smiled. "Fate? Youâve been reading too many romance novels."
"Hey, a girl can dream!" Jennifer laughed. "But seriously, if you feel something, maybe itâs worth looking into. Heâs hot, right?"
You smiled at that, though your thoughts wandered back to Logan. The way his eyes lingered on you, like he was seeing something no one else could. "Yeah," you admitted softly. "Heâs definitely that. Heâs probably as old as my dad or somethinâ. But man, Jen, if you saw him youâd lose your mind.â
You twirled the phone cord around your finger, still smiling to yourself, but your thoughts kept circling back to Logan. Something about the way he looked at youâlike he knew more than he was sayingâstuck with you. It wasnât creepy or overprotective. It was... familiar. Comforting, even.
Jenniferâs voice pulled you from your thoughts. âHey, donât overthink it, okay? Enjoy the view for once. Not everyone gets a hot bodyguard with a mysterious vibe. Maybe heâs the silver lining to your dadâs whole âparanoiaâ problem.â
You laughed quietly. âYeah, maybe.â
You hung up not long after, still feeling the weight of that odd, lingering sense of dĂŠjĂ vu.
---
The next morning, Logan was waiting for you downstairs. Dressed in his usual dark clothes, he stood near the front door with his hands in his pockets, posture relaxed but alert. His eyes flicked toward you the second you entered the room.
There it was againâthat heavy gaze that made it feel like he could see right through you.
âMorninâ,â you said, offering a small smile.
âMorninâ,â Logan replied, his voice gravelly.
Your father wasnât homeâout dealing with âbusinessââwhich gave you a rare moment to yourself. Well, mostly. You slipped on your leather jacket and glanced at Logan, your lips quirking up in a teasing grin. âWhatâs the plan, bodyguard? Gonna follow me around all day?â
Logan grunted, something close to amusement flashing in his eyes. âThatâs the job.â
âYou always this chatty?â
âOnly when I meet interesting people.â His tone was dry, but there was the faintest flicker of a smile beneath it.
You snorted, heading for the door. âCâmon, hope you like running errands.â
Logan followed without complaint, falling into step beside you as you made your way to the car. The streets were quieter than usual, but the tension between rival families was palpableâsomething was brewing, and everyone knew it.
Still, Loganâs presence made you feel... safer. Like nothing bad could happen as long as he was there. It was strange. You barely knew him, but being around him felt easy. Natural. Like youâd known him for a lot longer than a day.
---
When you said you were going to run âerrands,â Logan hadnât expected you to walk straight into an animal shelter. He followed you through the entrance, nodding politely at the woman at the front desk as you greeted her like an old friend.
âMorning, Lorraine!â you said with a bright smile.
Lorraine, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes, smiled back. âThereâs my favorite troublemaker. The pups will be glad to see you.â She cast a curious glance at Logan. âAnd whoâs this?â
âMy latest babysitter,â you said with a smirk, glancing at Logan. âLogan, meet Lorraine. Lorraine, Logan.â
Logan gave a curt nod. âMaâam.â
Lorraine chuckled. âA man of few words. I like him already.â She waved you both toward the back. âGo on, theyâve been waiting for you.â
As soon as you walked past the front desk and entered the back area, the sound of excited barking filled the air. Dogs of all sizes pressed their noses against the bars of their cages, tails wagging furiously at the sight of you.
You crouched down in front of one of the kennels, talking softly to a scruffy little mutt as it whined and pawed at the bars. âHey, buddy. Miss me?â
Logan leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching the way you scratched behind the dog's ears. There was something easy about the way you moved here, something soft. For a mobsterâs kid, you had a surprisingly gentle touch.
"Didn't expect this to be part of the job," Logan muttered after a moment, his voice low but teasing.
You glanced up, grinning. "What, thought Iâd be shopping for fur coats or shaking people down for cash?"
Logan raised a brow. "Somethinâ like that."
You laughed, standing up and dusting your hands off. âSorry to disappoint. Iâve got a weakness for strays.â You reached into your jacket pocket and pulled out a small bag of treats, tossing some into the kennels. "These guys have it rough enough without me skipping out on them."
Logan watched as the dogs practically fought over the treats, barking happily at your attention. You moved from cage to cage, giving each dog a little affection. It was... unexpected.
Logan watched you toss the last treat into one of the kennels, the scruffy mutt practically vibrating with happiness. He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed, an amused glint in his eyes as you turned and dusted your hands off with a grin.
"Youâre full of surprises," Logan muttered.
You raised an eyebrow, smirking as you folded your arms. âOh, yeah? Disappointed?â
"Not exactly." His lips twitched, like he was fighting a smile.
You took a step closer, tilting your head. "Well, what did you expect?"
Logan shrugged, keeping his expression neutral. "Spoiled. Entitled. Maybe a little dangerous."
You laughed, the sound light and easy, and Loganâs chest tightened in a way that felt too familiar. "Dangerous, huh? Guess Iâve got some layers." You gave him a playful once-over. "What about you? Big, scary bodyguard with a brooding vibe. Got any surprises I should know about?"
Logan snorted. "Not really."
You narrowed your eyes like you didnât quite believe him, but instead of pressing, you motioned toward the door. "Câmon. Iâve got one more stop."
Logan fell into step beside you as you exited the shelter and made your way toward the car. You chatted casually, filling the silence with stories about your favorite dogs at the shelter. But Logan stayed mostly quiet, his mind racing. It wasnât just your voiceâit was you. The way you carried yourself, the way you teased him like it was second nature.
He stole a glance at you as you drove. God, it felt the same as always. Like gravity pulled him toward you whether he wanted it or not.
---
Logan shouldâve expected the second time around that you werenât taking him to a normal place for errands. He was even more surprised when you parked in a nursing home parking lot and got out with that same pep in your step.
The sliding doors opened as you walked up to the front counter, where a middle-aged woman with tired eyes peered over the top of a blocky computer monitor. Her name tag read Carol.
âMorning, Carol,â you chirped with an easy smile, tapping your fingers on the desk.
Carol looked up and brightened at the sight of you. âWell, if it isnât my favorite visitor. Here to cheer up the old-timers again?â
âAlways,â you said, flashing a grin. âAnd I brought backup today.â You gestured behind you to Logan, who gave a brief nod.
Carol gave him a once-over and arched an eyebrow. âWell now, you didnât tell me youâd be bringing a tall drink of water.â
You smirked, glancing over your shoulder at Logan. âYeah, figured Iâd mix things up.â
Logan just grunted in response, but the corner of his mouth twitched slightlyâhalf amusement, half something else. Carol winked at you before waving toward the hallway. âYou know where to find them.â
You led Logan down the hall, your steps light and familiar as if you'd been coming here for years. He followed quietly, his sharp gaze flicking between doorways and hallways, always alert.
âYou spend a lot of time here?â Logan asked as you slowed near a door marked Activity Room.
You shrugged. âYeah. Most of these folks donât get many visitors. Itâs nice to stop by and remind them theyâre not forgotten.â
Logan gave a small grunt of acknowledgment. It was such a simple thingâvolunteering at a nursing homeâbut it hit him hard. It was just like you to find the overlooked parts of the world and give them your attention, like the dogs at the shelter, like the people here. You always had that streak of kindness, no matter which life you were living.
You nudged open the door, stepping into the room. A group of residents sat in mismatched chairs, some knitting, others half-watching a daytime soap on an old television. At the sight of you, faces lit up.
âThere she is!â one of the older women called, setting her knitting aside with a delighted clap of her hands. âI thought you forgot about us!â
âAs if I ever could,â you replied warmly, walking over to give her a light hug.
Logan lingered near the doorway, watching as you moved through the room like you belonged there, chatting with each resident, asking about their week, their familiesâif they remembered them. His heart twisted, both with admiration and an ache that wouldnât quit.
You noticed him standing off to the side and shot him a teasing grin. âDonât be shy, Logan. They wonât bite.â
He raised an eyebrow. âNot worried about them.â
You laughed, turning back to an older man with a deck of cards spread out in front of him. âLogan, meet Mr. Russo. Heâs got a mean poker face.â
Mr. Russo gave Logan a once-over, then grinned, his false teeth gleaming. âYou any good at cards, tough guy?â
Logan shrugged. âI can hold my own.â
You slid into the chair beside Mr. Russo, motioning for Logan to join you. âCare to test your luck?â
Logan hesitated for only a moment before pulling out a chair, the legs scraping against the linoleum. As he sat down, you dealt him a hand, your fingers brushing his in the processâa fleeting touch, but enough to send a jolt of familiarity through both of you.
You caught Loganâs gaze over the cards, a flicker of something unspoken passing between you. There it was againâthat sense that you knew him somehow, though you couldnât quite place it. It nagged at you, but you let it pass, offering him a playful smirk instead.
âCareful,â you warned. âI donât go easy on anyone.â
Logan returned the smirk, something dangerous glinting in his eyes. âNeither do I.â
---
After the game, which you wonâbarely, you said your goodbyes to the residents, promising to visit again soon. Logan followed silently as you made your way back to the car, the soft clinking of your keys the only sound between you.
âNot what you expected for today, huh?â you asked as you slid into the driverâs seat.
Logan leaned against the car door, arms crossed. âNot exactly.â
You smiled, starting the engine. âBet you thought being a mobsterâs kid would be more... glamorous.â
âSomething like that.â He gave you a sidelong glance. âYou like keeping people guessing, donât you?â
You grinned, shifting the car into drive. âItâs one of my many talents.â
The two of you drove in companionable silence, the hum of the city filling the space between you. Logan rested his elbow on the window frame, glancing at you every so often. You were like a puzzle he couldnât quite solveâdifferent from the others, yet still unmistakably you.
âWhy do you do it?â he asked after a while. âThe shelter, the nursing home. You donât have to.â
You shrugged, your expression thoughtful. "Dunno. Just because I was born into this life doesnât mean I like what my dad does. I guess sometimes I feel like Iâm tryinâ to balance the scales."
Logan leaned back against the seat, his sharp gaze on you, but he didnât respond right away. You could tell he was chewing on thatâprobably picking apart your words, trying to figure you out. He always seemed like the kind of man who noticed everything, even if he didnât say much about it.
You flashed him a teasing grin, trying to lighten the mood. "What about you? Any skeletons in the closet? Or are you just a man of mystery with perfect timing?"
Logan snorted softly, his lips twitching in that almost-smile he had. "Iâm no mystery. Just do my job."
"Oh, come on," you pressed, throwing him a playful look. "You gotta give me something. Favorite food? Ever been married? Deep, dark secret?"
He gave you a sidelong glance, amused but guarded. "Steak. No. And not a chance."
You huffed in mock disappointment, drumming your fingers on the steering wheel. "Youâre no fun, Logan."
"Never said I was," he muttered, but there was warmth in his tone, like he didnât mind your teasing at all.
The conversation paused for a moment, the soft hum of the engine filling the space between you. Loganâs eyes lingered on you a little longer than they probably should haveâtaking in the curve of your smile, the way your fingers tapped a rhythm on the wheel.
And damn, if you didnât make it hard to stay detached. You were so... alive. Every glance, every smile, every little laugh. You carried yourself like someone who knew how fleeting things could beâand even though Logan knew you couldnât remember, he remembered every time youâd slipped through his fingers. That thought settled heavy in his chest, like a weight he carried everywhere.
You shot him a grin. "You know, if you keep looking at me like that, Iâm gonna think youâre interested."
Loganâs lips twitched. "What makes you think Iâm not?"
The boldness of his response caught you off guard for a second, but you recovered quickly, leaning a little closer, eyes glinting with mischief. "Careful, tough guy. Youâre supposed to be protecting me, not flirting with me."
"Who says I canât do both?" His voice was low, rough, and it sent a small shiver down your spine.
You tilted your head, pretending to consider it. "I think my dad might disagree."
Loganâs eyes darkened slightly, though his expression didnât change. "Your dadâs not here."
There it wasâthat pull again, the quiet, unspoken gravity between the two of you. It was like standing on the edge of something dangerous and thrilling all at once. You felt it in the way his gaze lingered, in the weight of his words. He wasnât just playing along.
You cleared your throat, breaking the tension with a teasing smile. "Well, if youâre planning on making a move, Logan, you better make it good. Iâve got high standards, yâknow."
Logan let out a low chuckleâquiet, but genuineâand for a moment, you thought you saw something softer in his eyes. Something like... affection.
But just as quickly, it was gone, replaced by that familiar guarded expression.
"Noted," he muttered, shifting his gaze back to the road ahead.
You grinned, satisfied that youâd managed to chip away at his walls, even if only a little.
---
The two of you finished your errands without any trouble, stopping by a grocery store for some essentials and grabbing a late lunch at a small diner tucked away from the main streets. It wasnât muchâjust burgers and friesâbut sitting across from Logan in the booth, you felt surprisingly content.
He was quiet most of the time, but not in a way that felt awkward. It was... comfortable. Like he didnât need to fill the silence just for the sake of it. And every now and then, heâd throw out a dry, sarcastic comment that made you laugh harder than you expected.
You leaned back in the booth, sipping your soda and watching him over the rim of your glass. "Yâknow, Logan... youâre not half as scary as you look."
Logan raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "Disappointed?"
"Not at all," you replied, your smile turning a little softer. "I like surprises."
He held your gaze for a moment, something unreadable flickering behind those sharp blue eyes. And for a secondâjust a secondâyou thought maybe, just maybe, there was something familiar about the way he looked at you. Like you were more than just a job to him.
But before you could dwell on it, Logan glanced at his watch and cleared his throat. "We should head back. Your old manâll be expecting you."
You sighed dramatically, sliding out of the booth. "Guess my funâs over."
Logan chuckled, tossing a few bills on the table for the check. "For now."
You gave him a playful nudge as you walked past him toward the door. "Donât sound too excited."
---
By the time you got back to the house, the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, casting the streets in a soft orange glow. Logan followed you inside, his quiet presence grounding you in a way you couldnât quite explain.
"Thanks for today," you said, tossing your jacket onto a chair.
Logan gave a small nod, leaning against the wall near the door. "No problem."
You hesitated for a moment, then shot him one last grin. "You know, youâre not as bad as I thought."
"Same to you," he replied, that almost-smile creeping back onto his face.
And just like that, the unspoken connection between you simmered beneath the surface, waiting.
Maybe Logan was right. Maybe your dad would be pissed if he knew how much you enjoyed your new bodyguardâs company.
But standing there, watching Loganâs gaze linger on you for just a beat too long, you found you didnât care all that much.
"Goodnight, Logan," you said softly, turning toward the stairs.
"Goodnight, Y/N," he replied, his voice low and steady.
And as you climbed the stairs, you couldnât shake the feeling that this wasnât the first time youâd said goodnight to him like this.
Not by a long shot.
---
Your dad told you not to leave the house today, which was fine by you, you had laundry to do anyways.
It had become habit to do your own laundry, even if you did have maids around the house. Nancy, one of the older maids, was the one to teach you that, along with cooking and cleaning since your mother has been gone since you were little.
You had a radio set on the washer, the familiar croon of 70s tunes filling the small laundry room as you pulled warm clothes from the dryer into a basket. Youâd been at it for the better part of the morning, the simple domestic task giving you a sense of normalcy. The soft hum of the machines, the crackling radio, and the scent of clean laundryâ it was all routine.
Routine helped keep your mind off the storm brewing outside your little bubble.
You sighed, swaying your hips a bit to the music as you lifted the basket. The house felt quieter today, with your dad off dealing with âbusinessâ as usual. And Logan? He was somewhere nearby, probably lurking in the shadows like the brooding protector he was.
As if on cue, Logan appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. He was dressed in his usual dark clothing, looking as stoic as ever. You wondered if he ever wore anything other than flannels and a leather jacket.
"You know, I didnât take you for the laundry-doing type," he remarked, his gravelly voice cutting through the music.
You raised an eyebrow, throwing a playful glance over your shoulder. "What, you think Iâm too spoiled to do my own chores?"
Logan's lips twitched, almost forming a smile. "Something like that."
You smirked, grabbing the laundry basket and turning to face him. "I like to surprise people."
"Youâre good at it," he replied, his gaze lingering a little longer than usual. There was something behind those eyes, something deeper, but as always, he kept it hidden beneath that calm, impenetrable exterior.
You tilted your head, leaning your hip against the dryer. "You sticking around or just checking on me?"
Logan shrugged, though his eyes never left yours. "Just making sure you're not running off anywhere. Your dad was pretty clear about staying put."
You rolled your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips softened the gesture. "Iâll be a good girl. Promise."
Logan grunted in response, pushing off the doorframe and walking closer. "Youâre a lot of things, Y/N. Not sure âgood girlâ is one of them."
You let out a laugh, swatting at him with a towel. "Hey, I can behave when I want to. Itâs just more fun not to."
He caught your wrist with ease, holding it for a second too long before letting go. There was that familiar tension between you again, the unspoken something that crackled in the air whenever the two of you were close. He probably didn't mean to linger, but you could feel itâthat pull.
"Maybe itâs the company," you teased, grabbing your laundry basket. "You bring out the best in me."
Logan didnât respond immediately, but there was something in his eyes, something that made your breath hitch. He was quiet, but not in the usual way bodyguards were. With Logan, there was a weight to his silence, like he was always holding back, always watching.
You pushed past the lingering tension with a grin, heading toward the door with your laundry. "Come on, broody. Letâs get out of the laundry room before we both go stir-crazy."
As you passed by, you brushed against himâjust lightly, but enough to send a small jolt through you. He didnât move, but his eyes followed your every step, that silent intensity never wavering.
You stopped in the hallway and shot him a look over your shoulder. âYouâre making this way too serious, you know. Iâm doing laundry, not sneaking out of prison.â
âOld habits die hard,â he replied, crossing his arms with a slight smirk. âBesides, I think your dadâs idea of âsafeâ is pretty different from yours.â
You rolled your eyes, hugging the laundry basket closer. âRight. Next, heâll say I need an escort to the mailbox.â
Logan raised a brow, clearly amused. âYou wouldnât be the first.â
That earned him a laugh, and you shook your head, settling the basket on the table in the hall. âGuess youâre stuck with me then, bodyguard.â
âDoesnât seem so bad,â he said, his voice softening as he glanced at you. His gaze was familiar in a way you couldnât place, like heâd looked at you this way a hundred times before.
âYeah?â You took a step closer, crossing your arms with a playful grin. âAnd here I thought Iâd be driving you crazy.â
âYou do,â he murmured, almost too quietly. His lips turned up slightly, but he looked away, that unspoken wall going back up.
âGood,â you teased, reaching out to poke him in the chest. âKeeps things interesting.â
Logan caught your hand before you could pull it back, holding it just long enough that you could feel the warmth of his touch, the quiet strength in it. There was something in his eyes that hinted at⌠more. Like heâd known you far longer than you couldâve ever guessed.
âIs that what you want?â he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your heart thumped, but you kept your tone light. âDepends on what youâre offering, doesnât it?â
His gaze dropped to your hand, still caught in his. He let go, but there was something in his expression that lingered. It was like he was searching for the right words, something he couldnât quite say. Or maybe didnât want to.
Instead, he settled back with that guarded look. âBetter get used to me being around,â he said, nodding toward the front of the house. âYour dad wonât have it any other way.â
You glanced down the hall and shrugged. âGuess I can live with that. For now.â
Loganâs lips twitched, just barely. âFor now,â he echoed, and there was something heavier in those words, something he wasnât sharing.
You lingered for a moment, the silence stretching between you, before you picked up the basket again. âWell, Iâve got more laundry to fold. But if you feel like helping outâŚâ
He chuckled, shaking his head. âNice try, sweetheart.â
You rolled your eyes, shooting him a wink. âFine. Iâll let you off easy this time.â
âAppreciate it,â he said with a smirk, but his eyes softened as he watched you turn to go, like he was holding back something he couldnât quite name.
As you walked away, the light-heartedness of the moment stayed with you, but so did something else. It was that look Logan had, the one that made you feel seen, like he knew you better than anyone else ever had.
Maybe he did.
Or maybe, in some impossible way, he always had.
---
âNo, no, no, cara. Give it to me.â Nancy took the mixing bowl away from you, stirring the batter while muttering something in Italian.
You leaned your hip against the counter, placing your head on Nancyâs shoulder with a pout. "I was doing what youâre doing.â
Nancy shook her head, stirring the batter with a practiced hand, her warm, familiar presence comforting. âNo, cara mia, you were doing what you think Iâm doing.â She shot you a look, one of those fond, chiding glances sheâd perfected over the years. âAnd it was not the same.â
You laughed, pressing a kiss to her cheek. âFine, but youâre teaching me bad habits. This is how I stay spoiled, you know.â
She chuckled, patting your cheek affectionately. âYou think you need me to be spoiled? You do just fine on your own.â
Before you could respond, Loganâs familiar silhouette appeared in the doorway. He leaned against the frame, watching you with a slight smirk that was becoming all too familiarâand endearing.
âCareful, Nancy,â he said, his voice a low rumble. âSheâs already hard enough to handle.â
You turned, hands on your hips, feigning offense. âExcuse me, hard to handle?â
Logan shrugged, crossing his arms with a smirk. âYou said it, not me.â
Nancy chuckled, eyes sparkling as she looked between you and Logan. âAh, Y/N, heâs right. You do have a little spirit.â
You scoffed playfully, giving Logan an exaggerated glare before grinning back at Nancy. âWhat? Iâm an angel, and you know it.â
Logan snorted, clearly enjoying himself. âRight. A real saint.â He gave you a knowing look, one that made your stomach flip despite yourself. That unspoken energy simmered between you two, even as you tried to keep it casual.
Nancy just shook her head, muttering something in Italian as she set the bowl down. âAngels donât cause so much trouble,â she teased, pinching your cheek. âI taught you better.â
You rubbed your cheek with a grin, leaning back against the counter. âIâm blaming Logan. His bad influence must be rubbing off on me.â
Logan raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching up. âThat right? Thought you didnât need any help there.â
âOh, I donât,â you said, crossing your arms with a challenging look. âIâm fully capable of trouble on my own.â
Nancy watched the two of you with a satisfied smile, turning back to her baking. âAh, I see,â she murmured, her voice light. âItâs good to have someone who knows how to keep you in check.â
The glint in her eye wasnât lost on you, and you rolled your eyes. âYouâre making it sound like Iâm some kind of wild child.â
âNo, no,â she replied with a grin, waving her hand. âJust that I think he knows you better than you think, cara.â
Loganâs gaze softened a little at that, and though he didnât say anything, his look lingered, as if he were silently agreeing with her.
You cleared your throat, feeling the familiar warmth creeping up your neck. âWell,â you started, trying to brush off the moment, âif Loganâs going to stick around, he might as well help.â
Nancy gave a sly smile, turning to Logan. âWhat do you say, Logan? A little kitchen work wouldnât hurt.â
Logan shook his head, holding his hands up in surrender. âYou two are doing just fine without me.â
You shot him a grin, taking a step closer. âOh, come on. Big, tough Logan afraid of a little flour?â
His smirk softened as he looked down at you. âYou keep pushing, and I might just teach you a lesson in troublemaking.â
Your stomach fluttered at the way his gaze stayed locked on yours, that familiar pull tugging you closer. âIs that a threat?â
âCall it⌠a warning,â he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. His hand brushed against yours, just for a second, but it was enough to send a spark up your arm.
Nancy cleared her throat, clearly amused. âOkay, okay. I donât need you two making a mess of my kitchen.â
You stepped back, giving Nancy a sheepish smile, and Logan chuckled, the sound low and easy. âSheâs right,â he said, nodding toward the door. âGuess Iâll just keep an eye on you from a safe distance.â
Nancy gave him a knowing look, shaking her head with a chuckle. âIf only it were that simple.â
---
âAh, stay still, cara.â Nancy chided you, taking out a roller from your hair.
You gave Nancy a pout, eyes skimming your reflection in the mirror with clear discontent. "I donât like it." Your voice held more weight than just the hair and makeup, though, and Nancy seemed to pick up on it.
She clicked her tongue, smoothing out a curl before looking at you through the mirror. âAh, cara mia, tonight is important to your father. Besides,â she added, eyes glinting, âyou look beautiful, yes?â
You gave her a half-hearted smile, brushing your hands over the bright yellow fabric of your dress. The dress was elegant and too formal for your taste, the kind of thing youâd never have chosen if it werenât for your dadâs insistence on making you âpresentableâ for his associates.
Nancy sighed, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. âY/N, itâs one night. Then youâll be back to your regular clothes, hmm?â
You grinned, rolling your eyes. âCanât come soon enough.â
Just as you were about to add more, there was a quiet knock at the door. You looked up, already expecting Loganâs familiar silhouette. He leaned against the frame, hands in his pockets, his usual air of calm doing little to hide the intense look in his eyes as he took in the sight of you in the dress.
âLooks like theyâve got you all dolled up,â he remarked, a faint smirk playing on his lips.
You shot him a look, half annoyed, half amused. âYeah, laugh it up, tough guy. Bet youâre glad itâs not you in this thing.â
Logan chuckled, stepping further into the room. âYou could say that.â His eyes met yours, and for a brief second, there was something in his gaze, something you couldnât quite put into words. But just as quickly, he looked away.
Nancy gave you a knowing smile, patting your shoulder before stepping back. âLogan,â she said, with a gentle warning in her voice, âtake care of her tonight, yes?â
Loganâs expression softened, his gaze turning protective as he looked at you. âAlways do.â
Nancy winked, then left the room, leaving you alone with him.
You let out a sigh, reaching for the hem of your dress as if you could somehow make it less constricting. âDo I really have to go down there?â
Logan raised an eyebrow. âYou think your dadâs throwing this party for fun? Whole point is for you to be seen.â
âGreat,â you muttered, moving toward the door. But as you passed him, Logan placed a hand on your shoulder, stopping you.
âYouâll be fine,â he said, his voice lower, more reassuring. âTheyâre not expecting anything from you. Just show up, smile, let them know you exist.â
You looked up at him, searching his face. He was steady, calm, his expression soft in a way he rarely let others see. You didnât know why, but having him there made you feel a little more at ease. âGuess I donât have much choice, do I?â
âNope,â he replied, his mouth twitching into that almost-smile.
With a resigned sigh, you squared your shoulders. âAlright, letâs get this over with.â
---
The party was everything youâd dreaded: formal, suffocating, and filled with people whose only interest in you was as your fatherâs daughter. Youâd stuck close to Logan most of the night, exchanging quiet remarks whenever the chance arose, his presence the only thing keeping you from losing your mind. But as the night wore on, a few glasses of champagne and the tension of the evening started to wear on you.
You tugged on Loganâs sleeve as you leaned in close. âThink anyone would notice if I snuck out?â you murmured, your breath warm against his ear.
Logan chuckled low, his gaze flickering over you. âConsidering your dadâs been watching you like a hawk? Probably.â
You rolled your eyes, letting your hand brush his arm. âFigures. He canât just let me have one night off.â You shifted closer, feeling his warmth through his jacket, and gave him a mischievous smile. âBet you didnât sign up for babysitting duty.â
âDidnât realize youâd need it,â he replied with a smirk, his voice barely loud enough for you to hear.
You nudged him playfully, letting your hand linger on his arm. âI donât,â you said, a little more insistently. âYou just donât know what to do with me.â
His eyes met yours, and there was something dark and unspoken in his gaze. âCareful,â he murmured, his voice dropping. âI might take you up on that.â
The hint of challenge in his tone sent a thrill through you, and you leaned closer, your hand settling on his chest as you whispered, âOh, Iâm counting on it.â
You could feel his heartbeat, steady beneath your hand, but his expression gave nothing away. He looked down at you, his jaw tight, but his eyes held that familiar intensity, the kind that had always made you wonder just how long heâd been watching you. It was intoxicating, that pull between you, and tonight, with the champagne loosening your guard, you felt bolder than usual.
When you finally pulled away, you could feel his gaze following you, but you didnât let yourself look back. Instead, you mingled through the crowd, smiling politely, pretending to listen to conversations while stealing glances at Logan across the room.
After what felt like hours, your fatherâs attention finally shifted, and you took the chance to slip away to your bedroom.
As you walked up the stairs, Logan trailed behind you, like always. You were tired of this, of the flirting, how he did it back to you, but how nothing ever happened.
Well tonight you were done with that.
You opened your bedroom door and sat on the bed, quickly slipping off your heels and tossing them carelessly across the room. The muffled sounds of laughter and clinking glasses filtered up from downstairs, where the party raged on. Logan stood in the doorway, as he always did, watching you in that silent, intense way that had been driving you crazy for months.
You looked up at him, your fingers playing with the hem of your short yellow dress, the fabric brushing against your thighs as you shifted on the bed. âYou cominâ in, or are you just gonna stand there all night?â
Logan didnât respond right away, his jaw ticking as his eyes flicked over you, taking in the sight of you sitting there, legs crossed, your dress riding up just enough to tease. He sighed, stepping into the room but staying near the door. âYour old manâs got half the city downstairs, Y/N. This ainât the time.â
You raised an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at your lips. âSince when do you care about my dad? Heâs not your boss.â
He crossed his arms over his chest, the leather of his jacket creaking. âHe pays me to keep you safe, not⌠this.â
You stood up from the bed, taking a step toward him. âThis?â you repeated, voice playful, but you could feel the tension in the air thickening. âAnd what is âthis,â Logan?â
He didnât answer, just stood there, his eyes dark and unreadable, but you could see the way his body tensed when you got closer, the way his gaze flicked down to your legs before snapping back up to your face.
You reached out, your fingers brushing against the rough material of his flannel, and you could feel the heat of his body through the layers of fabric. He stiffened, his hand catching your wrist, but it wasnât harsh. Just enough to stop you.
âY/N, donât,â he warned, his voice low, rough.
You tilted your head, stepping even closer until your body was almost pressed against his. âWhy not?â you asked softly. âYouâve been following me around for months. Always there, always watching. What are you so afraid of?â
âIâm not afraid,â he muttered, but his grip on your wrist tightened just a little, like he was holding himself back. âYouâre too young for this. I work for your dad.â
You pulled your wrist free, undeterred, your hand now resting against his chest. âIâm not a kid, Logan. And you donât work for himâyou work for me. Youâve been protecting me, havenât you?â
His eyes narrowed. âThatâs not what I mean, and you know it.â
âThen what do you mean?â you shot back, moving even closer, your fingers trailing up to his shoulder, over the leather of his jacket. âYouâve been pulling away from me every time I get close, but you keep coming back.â
Loganâs jaw clenched, his hands hovering near your waist, as if he was afraid to touch you. âYouâre drunk.â
âIâm not drunk,â you said firmly, your voice steady. âAnd you know that.â You pressed a little harder, your lips just inches from his jaw, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his skin. âYou donât have to keep pretending like you donât want this.â
His hands shot up to your shoulders, gripping you tightly, but he didnât push you away this time. His breathing was heavier now, the muscles in his arms tensing as if he was fighting against himself. âYou donât know what youâre asking for,â he growled, his voice barely above a whisper.
âMaybe not,â you admitted, your lips brushing the stubble on his jaw as you spoke. âBut I know what I want.â
Logan groaned low in his throat, his fingers tightening on your shoulders, but still, he didnât push you away. His resistance was crumbling, you could feel it.
âYouâre not a kid,â he repeated quietly, almost like he was trying to convince himself.
âNo,â you whispered back, your lips ghosting along the side of his neck, your hands moving to his chest, fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt. âIâm not.â
In a swift movement, you pushed him back toward the chair in the corner of the room, his legs hitting the edge as you guided him down. He sat heavily, his hands falling from your shoulders to your hips, still trying to hold onto that last bit of control.
You straddled his thigh, your dress riding up as you settled against him, the heat of your body pressed against the denim of his jeans. His hands moved up to your waist, holding you in place, but the look in his eyes told you he was barely holding on.
âY/N,â he rasped, but his voice was shaky, uncertain.
You didnât give him time to think. You started moving, rocking your hips against his thigh, slow at first, testing. His grip on your waist tightened, his eyes darkening as he watched you, the tension in his body radiating through his hands.
He wasnât stopping you.
You bit your lip, your breath hitching as you pressed harder against him, the friction sending a jolt of heat through you. Logan groaned, his hands sliding down to your hips, holding you steady as you moved. His control was slipping, and you could feel it.
âFuck,â he muttered under his breath, his head falling back against the chair, his eyes squeezed shut.
You leaned forward, your lips brushing his ear. âStill think Iâm too young?â
Loganâs jaw clenched, his hands gripping you harder as you rocked against him, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing against the thin material of your underwear. Every movement sent sparks of pleasure through you, and you could tell from the way his breathing quickened that he was feeling it too.
His hands slid up your sides, fingers digging into your skin as he tried to pull you closer, but you were in control now. You pressed your lips to his neck, kissing the exposed skin, feeling the tension in his body as you kissed down toward his collarbone, your fingers tangling in his shirt.
Logan groaned, his hands gripping you tighter as you moved faster, grinding against his thigh with more urgency. The heat between your legs was almost unbearable now, the pressure building with every movement, every gasp that escaped your lips.
Logan's eyes were shut tight, head thrown back against the chair, his hands gripping your waist like he was the one trying to stay grounded. But you werenât stopping, not after all the months of back-and-forth, all the moments youâd caught him watching you with that dark, unreadable look. The friction, the heat pooling between your legs, was everything youâd been waiting for, and it was clear from the roughness of his breathing that he wasnât far behind.
You pressed harder, your hips rolling against his thigh as you gripped his shoulders to steady yourself. The thin fabric of your dress had ridden up, and you knew he could feel just how soaked you were through the denim of his jeans. His hands were at your waist, digging into your skin in a way that bordered on painful but only made you push down harder, rocking your hips with more insistence.
Loganâs voice was rough when he finally spoke, his hands tightening as if he was trying to keep himself from pulling you in closer. âY/N⌠youâre playinâ with fire here,â he growled, the words thick, like he was barely holding back.
You ignored him, pressing a little harder, your lips hovering just over the edge of his jaw as you breathed, âMaybe I like the heat.â
His jaw clenched, but his hands slid up, settling just under your ribs, holding you steady as you moved. Each shift of your hips brought another groan out of him, the sound vibrating through his chest and sending a thrill straight through you. You could feel yourself getting closer, your breath coming in shallow gasps as the pressure built, the heat between your legs almost too much to bear.
âLogan,â you whispered, your hands slipping up to tangle in his hair, pulling his face closer. You could see the restraint etched across his face, the way his jaw was clenched tight, like he was struggling to keep himself from giving in. âI need you.â
His hands tensed on your waist, fingers digging in harder, his breathing growing rougher with every word that slipped from your lips. But he didnât pull away; if anything, he held you tighter, letting you grind against him, the rough denim of his jeans rubbing against you in a way that left you breathless, desperate.
âYou know what youâre doinâ to me?â he muttered, his voice barely more than a growl as his eyes met yours, dark and full of something youâd been longing to see for months.
âMaybe,â you replied, a small, breathless smile tugging at your lips as you kept moving, kept pressing closer, feeling the tension between you both thicken until it was almost unbearable. âMaybe I want to see how far youâll let me go.â
Logan groaned, his grip tightening as his eyes fell shut again, his hands shifting to guide your hips, helping you keep up the steady rhythm that was driving you both closer to the edge. You leaned forward again, your lips brushing against his neck, pressing soft kisses along the exposed skin as you rocked against him, the heat building with every second.
âY/N,â he rasped, his voice so low it sent a shiver through you. âYouâre⌠youâre so damnââ
You cut him off, pressing your lips to the spot just under his ear, feeling the way his breath hitched as your hips ground down harder. You were close, every nerve ending on fire, and you could feel that he was, too. His hands were everywhere, sliding up your back, pressing you closer, holding you tight like he was afraid to let go.
And then, finally, the pressure broke. You gasped, fingers digging into his shoulders as your hips stilled, your body shuddering against him. Loganâs grip on your waist tightened, his own breath hitching as he held you steady, his hands warm and solid as you rode out the waves of pleasure.
He was quiet for a long moment, his breathing heavy, and you could feel the way his body had tensed beneath you, the strain in his hands as he held himself back. Slowly, you looked up, meeting his gaze, and the intensity in his eyes made your breath catch all over again.
Without a word, Logan shifted, his hands sliding down to hook under your thighs as he stood, lifting you with a strength that sent another thrill through you. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he carried you to the bed, the heat in his gaze leaving no room for second thoughts, no hesitation. This was it, and you were ready.
He laid you down, his hands lingering on your thighs, his fingers brushing over your skin as he looked down at you, his expression a mix of hunger and restraint. You reached up, tugging him closer until he was hovering over you, his weight pressing down just enough to make you feel secure, safe.
This was what youâd been waiting for, what youâd both been skirting around for too long. Loganâs hands slid up your sides, his fingers trailing along the fabric of your dress, and you felt your breath hitch as his gaze darkened, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
His thumbs brushed the exposed skin just above the low neckline of your dress, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You watched him, eyes locked on his as he leaned in, his jaw tight, the hunger in his gaze barely restrained. The room felt smaller, warmer, like the air had thickened between you.
And then, finally, his mouth was on yours.
The kiss was desperate, wild, like he was making up for lost time. His lips claimed yours with a roughness that sent a shiver down your spine, his hands moving to cradle your face, pulling you closer as if he couldnât stand the distance. You gasped against his mouth, your fingers finding their way into his hair, tugging him down harder.
It had been seventy-three years since heâd last kissed youânearly three quarters of a century of holding backâand the intensity of it showed. It was all-consuming, like he was trying to make up for every second heâd denied himself this.
Logan groaned into your mouth, a deep, almost pained sound, and the desperation in it made your blood race. He kissed you like he was starving, like he needed this, needed you, and you felt your body melt into him. His hands slid down your body, rough and sure, stopping at your hips to pull you flush against him. The heat between your legs was almost unbearable, and the friction of his jeans against your thighs only made it worse.
You broke the kiss for air, your breaths coming fast, but Logan didnât stop. His mouth found your neck, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the curve of your throat, teeth scraping against your skin just enough to make you gasp. His hands were everywhere, tracing the curve of your waist, the swell of your hips, gripping you with a possessiveness that sent a thrill through you.
âLogan,â you whispered, your voice breathless, needy. You tilted your head back, giving him better access as his lips continued their descent, leaving a path of fire along your skin. Your hands fisted in his flannel, pulling him closer, and he groaned again, the sound vibrating through your body.
âGod, Y/N,â he rasped, his voice thick with desire, like he was barely holding on. His hands slipped under your dress, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of your thighs, and you shivered, your breath catching in your throat. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes heavy-lidded, pupils blown wide with need. âYouâre gonna be the death of me,â he muttered, but the words were laced with something softer, something that made your heart skip.
You didnât reply, just pulled him down for another kiss, this one just as desperate as the first. Your hands roamed over his chest, slipping beneath the open flannel to feel the heat of his skin, the hard muscles that tensed under your touch. Logan shivered, his breath catching as your fingers brushed against his bare chest, and you felt a rush of satisfaction at the way he reacted to you.
His jacket slipped from his shoulders, landing somewhere on the floor, but neither of you paid it any mind. Your hands were already pushing the flannel off him, revealing more of his skin, and Logan helped you, shrugging it off with a growl of impatience. The white beater he wore beneath clung to his chest, and you could see the way his muscles flexed beneath it, the way the fabric stretched taut over his shoulders.
He leaned back down, capturing your lips in another searing kiss, and you moaned into his mouth, your nails digging into his shoulders. Loganâs hands were back under your dress, sliding up, leaving trails of heat in their wake. His touch was rough, calloused, but so incredibly gentle in a way that made your heart ache. You arched into him, your body pressing closer, desperate for more, for everything he was willing to give.
âFuck,â he muttered against your mouth, his hands sliding higher until his thumbs brushed the edge of your panties. He paused, breathing heavily, his eyes searching yours, looking for any sign of hesitation. But there was none. You were all in, had been from the moment youâd first seen him.
You reached down, grabbing his wrists and guiding his hands further up, silently urging him on. Loganâs breath hitched, and his eyes darkened even more, a low growl rumbling in his chest. His fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties, and you could feel your heart pounding as he tugged, the thin fabric slipping down your legs.
"Fuck, Y/N," he growled, his voice thick with need as his calloused hands slid back up your thighs, pushing your dress higher. "You're so damn wet already."
You gasped as his fingers brushed against your center, your hips jerking up instinctively. "Logan, please," you whimpered, reaching for him.
He leaned down to kiss you hard, his tongue pushing into your mouth as his fingers began exploring you properly. The roughness of his hands contrasted with how gently he touched you, like he was afraid of breaking you. You moaned into his mouth as he slid one thick finger inside, your hands gripping his shoulders.
"That's it, darlin'," he murmured against your lips. "Let me hear you."
Your dress was bunched around your waist now as Logan worked another finger into you, stretching you carefully. Your earlier orgasm had left you sensitive, making every touch feel electric. His thumb found your clit and began rubbing slow circles that had you writhing beneath him.
"Logan," you gasped, your nails digging into his skin through his beater. "I needâah!âI need more."
He growled low in his throat, curling his fingers inside you. "Tell me what you need, Y/N. Say it."
Your face flushed but you met his eyes. "I need you inside me. Please, Logan. I've wanted this for so long."
Something dark and possessive flashed in his eyes. He withdrew his fingers, making you whimper at the loss, and reached down to undo his belt. The metal clinked as he pulled it free, the sound sending a thrill through you.
You sat up enough to pull your dress over your head, leaving you in just your bra. Logan's eyes raked over you hungrily as he pushed his jeans down his hips. The obvious bulge in his boxers made your mouth go dry.
"Come here," he growled, pulling you into another searing kiss as his hands found the clasp of your bra. It took him only seconds to undo it, and then you were bare before him, your nipples hardening in the cool air.
Logan's mouth moved to your neck, sucking hard enough to leave marks as his hands cupped your breasts. You moaned as he rolled your nipples between his fingers, your back arching into his touch.
"Fuck, you're perfect," he muttered against your skin, his voice rough. He shifted to take one nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the sensitive peak as you gasped and squirmed beneath him.
Your hands found the hem of his beater, tugging insistently until he pulled back long enough to yank it off. The sight of his bare chest, all hard muscle and dark hair, made heat pool between your legs. There were old scars scattered across his skin - remnants of wounds time hadn't quite erased.
You reached for his boxers but he caught your wrists, pinning them above your head with one large hand. "Not yet," he growled, his free hand sliding down between your legs again. "Want to make sure you're ready for me."
His fingers found your clit again and you cried out, oversensitive and desperate. "Logan, please," you begged, trying to buck your hips up against his hand. "I'm ready, I swear. I need you now."
He studied your face for a long moment, his eyes dark with desire, before releasing your wrists. "Take them off," he ordered, nodding to his boxers.
Your hands shook slightly as you pushed the fabric down his hips, freeing his cock. He was huge, thick and hard, already leaking at the tip. You wrapped your hand around him, stroking slowly, and Logan's breath hitched.
"Careful, darlin'," he warned, his voice strained. "Been wanting this too long to end it early."
He pushed you back onto the bed, settling between your spread thighs. The head of his cock brushed against your entrance and you both groaned. Logan braced himself on his forearms above you, his eyes locked on yours.
"You sure about this?" he asked, his voice rough but gentle. "Once I start, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."
You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "I'm sure. Please, Logan. I want you."
He kissed you hard as he began pushing inside, swallowing your gasps as he stretched you open. The burn was intense but perfect, your body gradually adjusting to his size. Logan moved slowly, giving you time to adapt, but you could feel the tension in his muscles as he held himself back.
"Fuck," he groaned when he was finally fully seated inside you. "So tight, darlin'. Feel so good around me."
You clutched at his shoulders, panting. "Move," you urged. "Please, I needâ"
Logan pulled back and thrust forward again, setting a steady rhythm that had you seeing stars. Each stroke hit something deep inside you that made pleasure spark through your whole body. His hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he fucked into you with increasing force.
"That's it," he growled, watching your face contort with pleasure. "Take it, Y/N. Take all of me."
Your nails raked down his back as the pressure built inside you again. Logan's thrusts grew harder, faster, driving you both toward the edge. The headboard banged against the wall with each movement but neither of you cared about the noise.
"Logan," you gasped, feeling yourself getting close. "I'm gonnaâah!"
"Come for me," he ordered, his voice rough. One hand slid between your bodies to rub your clit. "Want to feel you come on my cock."
The added stimulation pushed you over the edge. You came with a cry, your body clenching around him as waves of pleasure crashed over you. Logan growled, his rhythm faltering as your walls pulsed around him.
"Fuck, Y/N," he groaned, his thrusts growing erratic. "Where do you wantâ"
"Inside," you gasped, still riding the aftershocks. "Please, Logan. Wanna feel you."
He cursed, his hips snapping forward a few more times before he buried himself deep with a growl, spilling inside you. You could feel him pulsing, filling you up as he collapsed onto his forearms above you.
For several long moments, the only sound was your heavy breathing. Logan's forehead rested against yours, his eyes closed as he caught his breath. You ran your hands up and down his back, feeling the sweat-slick skin under your palms.
Finally, he pulled out carefully and rolled onto his side, pulling you with him. You winced slightly at the soreness between your legs, but it was a good kind of ache. Logan's arms wrapped around you, holding you close against his chest.
---
Logan let out a low groan as he woke, the bed beneath him feeling far too comfortable, unfamiliar in a way that immediately set him on edge. It took a second for his mind to catch up, piecing together where he was and, more importantly, who he was with.
He didnât need to look over to feel the warmth beside him, or the way your hair fanned out across the pillow. It hit him all at onceâthe heat of your skin against his, the way youâd leaned into him last night, confident, unrestrained. He opened his eyes, gaze finding you lying beside him, face soft and peaceful in sleep, an arm draped over his chest as if youâd claimed him in the night.
Logan sighed, glancing at the ceiling, but couldnât help looking down at you again, still asleep and blissfully unaware of the storm in his head. Heâd known it was a bad idea from the start, coming upstairs with you last night, letting his guard down. But damn, when youâd gotten close, pushing him toward that chair with that look in your eyesâheâd been gone the second youâd touched him.
He was even further gone when he had finally kissed youâit was one of his biggest regrets the last time he had seen you back in 1943âhe never held you the way he wanted to. Too afraid that maybe he was the problem, the reason you kept on dying over and over.
And because of that, he hadnât been this close to you since 1900.
It was strange, being here like thisâletting his guard down after all those lives, all those memories of watching you fade out of his reach. A part of him had always tried to keep a distance, to save himself from the heartbreak he knew was coming. But last night⌠last night, heâd been weak.
He brushed a thumb over your arm without thinking, lost in thought. It was impossible not to wonder, with you lying beside him like this, what it would be like if this time were different. If, just once, he could hold onto you, let himself believe youâd stay.
But he knew better.
His hand lingered on your skin a moment too long, and he felt you stir, your lashes fluttering as you slowly opened your eyes. A soft smile touched your lips when you saw him, and he felt his resolve crack just a little more.
âMorninâ,â he murmured, his voice rougher than heâd meant.
âMmm,â you hummed, still sleepy, your fingers tracing a lazy pattern over his chest. âDidnât think youâd still be here.â You said it lightly, but there was a hint of something else thereârelief, maybe. âGuess I finally wore you out.â
Logan huffed, his lips tugging into a smirk. âGuess so.â
You shifted to look at him, your eyes bright with that familiar mischief. âSo, whatâs your excuse this time?â
He raised a brow. âExcuse?â
âYeah. For pulling away,â you said, your tone casual but pointed. âYouâve always got one.â
Loganâs jaw clenched slightly, and he broke eye contact, looking away. âItâs complicated, Y/N.â
You reached up, cupping his face and guiding his gaze back to you. âThatâs what you always say. Doesnât mean it has to be.â
He was silent for a moment, searching your face. He could feel the weight of his past with you, all those memories stacking up like a dam holding back a flood. But he couldnât let you in on that. Couldnât make you carry the burden of knowing youâd livedâand diedâso many times before. It was his cross to bear, not yours.
âMaybe I just donât want you getting hurt,â he finally said, his voice quieter, a touch raw.
You let out a short, incredulous laugh. âPlease, Logan. You think I donât know what Iâm doing?â
Logan just shook his head, but he couldnât help the small, amused smile that crept onto his face. âYouâre a handful, you know that?â
âIâve heard that once or twice,â you teased, running your hand along his chest. âLucky for you, I donât scare easy.â
That hint of defiance in your voice tugged at something deep inside him, and he caught your hand, holding it in his as he looked into your eyes. âYou say that now. But Iâve got a way of⌠complicating things.â
Your gaze softened, but there was still a spark there, unyielding. âGood thing I like complicated.â
Loganâs eyes darkened, and for a second, he felt that familiar pull, the urge to tell you everythingâto let you in on the truth of why he was here, why he couldnât stay away. But he stopped himself, the weight of all those lost lifetimes bearing down on him again. He couldnât do that to you, not this time.
âThen I guess Iâm stuck with you,â he said, trying to keep his tone light, even though his grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly.
âGuess so,â you replied with a grin, shifting closer. You tilted your head, eyes narrowing as you studied him. âLogan?â
âYeah?â
âAre you ever gonna stop acting like youâre some kind of curse?â Your voice was soft but firm, like you were daring him to argue.
Logan went silent, his gaze flickering away from yours. Youâd hit closer to the truth than you knew.
âDonât know if I can,â he admitted after a pause. âItâs⌠complicated.â He shrugged, hoping youâd leave it at that.
But, of course, you didnât. âThen I guess Iâll just have to keep proving you wrong,â you murmured, pressing a light kiss to his jaw, a warm reassurance that only made him feel the pull of his past even stronger.
He didnât answer, just closed his eyes, letting himself savor this one small, stolen moment with you. Just this once, heâd allow himself that. Because deep down, he knew heâd always lose you in the end.
And this time, he was determined to make it last as long as he could. Maybe, just maybe, even put that ring to use.
---
You were back at the dog shelter, this time staying a little bit longer since one of the workers, Amelia, was out sick.
Lorraine handed you a few leashes, âmind taking some of âem out for a walk?â
You happily grabbed the roped leashes, âof course.â Then you glanced over at Logan, who had been eyeing the dogs with a mix of amusement and reservation. âYou up for walkinâ some too?â
He raised an eyebrow at you, then at the leashes in your hand, but there was a hint of a smirk playing at his lips. âDidnât take you for a dog wrangler, Y/N.â
You laughed, clipping one of the leashes onto a small brown mutt who was practically bouncing with excitement. âCome on, Logan. Whatâre you afraid of? They donât biteâwell, not all of them, anyway.â
Logan chuckled, reluctantly stepping forward. âRight. Long as they donât try to drag me down the street.â
You handed him a leash attached to a shaggy, medium-sized dog with big brown eyes, looking up at him expectantly. âHere. This oneâs named Ringo. Heâs a sweetheart.â
Logan eyed the dog suspiciously before giving the leash a little tug, testing the waters. âRingo, huh?â He knelt down and patted the dogâs head, a faint smile crossing his face as the dog leaned into his touch. âGuess youâre alright.â
You couldnât help but smile at the sight. âSee? He likes you already.â As you finished leashing up a few more of the dogs, you handed the leashes to Logan. âThink you can handle these guys too?â
Logan took the leashes without complaint, looking down at the little group of dogs at his feet. âGuess I donât have much choice.â
âGood answer,â you teased, giving him a wink before heading toward the door. You led the way outside, the two of you walking side-by-side with the dogs trotting happily along. It was a warm day, and the sun was shining down, casting a soft glow over everything.
Logan glanced over at you as you moved down the sidewalk together, the dogs tugging excitedly at their leashes. You had a carefree smile on your face, and he found himself watching you more than the path ahead, the memory of a few nights ago still vivid in his mind. The thought of it sent a thrill through himâyet at the same time, a pang of dread.
âYou always this happy walking dogs, or is it just âcause Iâm here?â he teased, a little smirk tugging at his lips.
You shot him a playful look. âGuess youâll never know.â You nudged him lightly with your shoulder, eyes bright with mischief. âBut if you keep coming with me, you might find out.â
He let out a small laugh, his gaze softening as he looked away. Even after all these years, you could still surprise himâlike the way youâd drag him to places like this or the way you talked about the little things with such enthusiasm. It was one of those qualities he remembered about you from lifetimes ago, and it hadnât changed. It made him feel like maybe, somehow, this was different.
As you walked a little further, one of the dogsâa scruffy little terrierâyipped and tugged at Loganâs leash, trying to chase after a pigeon. He grunted, holding the leash tightly and muttering, âSettle down, mutt. Youâre not goinâ anywhere.â
You laughed, glancing over with an amused smile. âRingoâs got more energy than youâd think, huh?â
Logan shook his head, but he couldnât help but smile. âYeah, well, maybe I should be takinâ notes from him.â He looked at you then, and his expression softened. âYouâve really got a thing for these dogs, donât ya?â
Your smile faded into something more thoughtful as you looked down at the furry pack in front of you. âI dunno. I guess theyâre just⌠easy to be around. They donât care about who my father is or what I doâthey just want someone to be with them, you know?â
Logan nodded, watching the way you interacted with the dogs, your fingers lightly brushing over their heads, your voice soft as you spoke to them. Youâd always had that kindness about you, that gentleness that made him want to believe in something better, something⌠safe.
âYouâre good with âem,â he said quietly, almost to himself.
You looked up at him, a smile in your eyes. âYou know, youâre not so bad with them either, Logan.â
He chuckled, shaking his head. âNah, I think Iâll leave the dog-wranglinâ to you.â
For a while, you walked in comfortable silence, the bustling city around you fading into the background as you wandered through the neighborhood with the dogs. Finally, you reached a small park, and you stopped to let the dogs sniff around.
As they explored, you took a seat on a nearby bench, patting the spot beside you. Logan hesitated for a second before joining you, stretching his legs out in front of him.
You looked over at him, your expression soft. âThanks for coming today. I know this probably isnât your ideal way to spend an afternoon.â
Logan shrugged, trying to act casual, but he couldnât hide the warmth in his gaze. âWouldnât be here if I didnât wanna be,â he said, his voice low.
The sincerity in his words made your heart skip a beat, and you looked away, feeling a little bashful. You fiddled with one of the leashes, clearing your throat. âYou know⌠the more time we spend together, the more I wonder how long youâre planning to stick around.â
He hesitated, his jaw tightening as he considered his answer. He wanted to tell you the truthâthat heâd been watching you, waiting for you, for so many lifetimes. But he couldnât. Instead, he reached out, his hand covering yours where it rested on the bench.
âAs long as youâll have me,â he said quietly.
The words hung between you, and for a moment, it was like the whole world had faded away. You looked up at him, your eyes searching his, trying to read the depths of his expression.
A soft smile touched your lips, and you squeezed his hand. âThen youâre gonna be around for a long time, Logan.â
He felt a strange, hopeful ache in his chest at your words, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he allowed himself to believe that maybe, this time, things could be different.
The dogs barked, breaking the spell, and you both laughed, pulling away as you got up to wrangle them again. But even as you continued on your walk, he stayed close by your side, his hand occasionally brushing yours as you walkedâalmost as if he was reminding himself that you were real, that you were here with him.
---
Late one night, you lay beside Logan in the dim light filtering through the window, the cityâs night sounds a steady hum in the distance. Your head rested on his chest, your fingers tracing lazy circles over the skin above his heart, feeling the steady beat beneath your touch.
Logan shifted slightly, his hand coming up to rest gently on your back. For a long time, he just lay there, watching you in silence, his thumb brushing along your spine. You could tell he was relaxed, but there was something elseâa quiet intensity in the way his gaze lingered on you, a heaviness in the air that made your heart race.
âWhatâre you thinkinâ about?â you murmured, letting your fingers trail up to his collarbone. You glanced up at him, catching the faintest hint of a smile as he met your eyes.
âJust⌠wonderinâ how I got roped into all this,â he said, the corner of his mouth lifting. But the glint in his eyes gave him away, and you saw something softer there.
âYeah? Doesnât seem like you mind too much.â You smirked, giving his chest a light pat. âIâd almost say youâre gettinâ attached.â
He snorted, pulling you a little closer, his arm tightening around you. âCould say the same for you,â he replied, his voice low, almost teasing. âYouâre insatiable, yâknow that?â
You laughed, and the sound was soft in the quiet room. âYouâre the one who keeps showinâ up, Logan. If you wanted me to behave, youâd stay away.â
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. âMaybe I donât want you to behave.â
Your fingers stilled on his chest, and you looked up at him with a mischievous glint in your eye. âSo you like me like this, then? A little reckless⌠a little spoiled?â you teased.
He chuckled, his eyes softening as he looked at you. âYeah,â he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. âThink I do.â
You felt a warmth spread through you at his words, and you settled back against his chest, letting your hand rest over his heart. For a while, neither of you said anything, the silence comfortable, his warmth grounding you. It was a rare kind of peaceâone that youâd come to cherish whenever you were with him.
But then, curiosity got the better of you, and you lifted your head, giving him a thoughtful look. âLogan,â you began, your voice hesitant. âHow long are you gonna stick around? I mean⌠I know my dad thinks youâre just here for protection, but⌠it feels like more than that.â
Loganâs gaze darkened, a flash of something unreadable passing over his face. He glanced away, his jaw tensing as he seemed to search for the right words. âAs long as you want me here, Iâm not goinâ anywhere.â
The weight of his words hung between you, and you felt your heart skip a beat. âThen donât,â you whispered, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his cheek. âI donât want you to.â
He didnât say anything in response, but his hand slipped up to cup the back of your head, pulling you down into a slow, lingering kiss. There was something different about it this time, a quiet desperation that made your pulse quicken, like he was trying to hold on to this moment, to keep it from slipping away.
When you finally pulled back, you searched his eyes, wondering what was going through his mind. âYouâre not gonna let me go, are you?â
A small smile tugged at his lips, though his gaze was still shadowed. âNot a chance, darlinâ.â
You felt a surge of affection for him then, this man whoâd somehow become both your protector and your closest confidant. He was rough around the edges, guarded and distant with everyone elseâbut with you, he was different. You brought out a softness in him, a warmth that felt as though it had been buried for a long, long time.
Without thinking, you reached up and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, your fingertips lingering against his skin. âYou know, for a guy whoâs supposed to be my bodyguard, youâre doing a terrible job at keeping things professional,â you teased, though there was no bite in your words.
Logan let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. âYouâre the one makinâ things complicated, Y/N.â
âMaybe.â You smirked, your fingers still tracing over his chest. âBut you donât seem to mind.â
He looked at you then, something fierce in his eyes, and for a moment, you saw a glimpse of the man heâd beenâa man whoâd loved and lost, whoâd carried scars from lifetimes past. You wondered if he would ever tell you his story, if he would ever let you in on the secrets he guarded so closely.
But for now, you were content with the silence, with the feel of his heartbeat beneath your hand, with the quiet reassurance that he wasnât going anywhere.
As the night wore on, you lay there together, wrapped up in each other, the world outside fading away. And for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.
---
Your father had asked you to come to his office in the spacious house. At first it was nothing but muffled voices from outside the door, until Logan heard your father speak again, for a longer period of time, causing your own voice to rise.
While Logan couldnât make out the words you were saying even with his enhanced hearing, he could tell you werenât happy. Your voice carried that sharp edge you only got when something really struck a nerve, and judging by the way you didnât hold back, it had to be serious.
Logan lingered just outside the heavy, mahogany door of your fatherâs office, his fists clenched as he heard your voice rising behind it. It was clear you were upset, and whatever was being discussed inside, you didnât like it. Heâd seen you frustrated, angry even, but never like thisâthere was a desperation in your tone that sent a chill through him.
Moments later, the door flew open, and you stormed out, cheeks flushed with anger, eyes flashing as you spotted him. You barely paused, brushing past him, but Logan caught your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.
âY/N,â he said, his voice low. âWhat happened?â
You turned to face him, anger and hurt swirling in your eyes. âHeâs⌠heâs marrying me off, Logan. To that family. After everything he promised meâhe said heâd never force me into something like this.â
Loganâs expression hardened. âWhat are you talkinâ about? He canât just⌠marry you off like some kind of deal.â
Your hands were shaking as you brushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear, struggling to keep your composure. âApparently, he can. Thereâs been this feud with the Romano family for years, and he says this is the only way to keep the peace. To protect me. Protect us.â
Loganâs jaw clenched. He felt a familiar anger rising in him, a deep, protective instinct heâd been fighting to keep under wraps. âSo, heâs just gonna throw you into a marriage you donât want? You donât even know this guy, do you?â
You shook your head, looking away. âI met him once. He was⌠polite enough. But thatâs not the point, Logan. I donât want to marry himâor anyone like this. My father always said heâd let me choose, that he wouldnât⌠sell me off.â The bitterness in your tone stung, your gaze distant as if replaying the conversation.
Logan searched your face, feeling an ache he couldnât put into words. âAnd he knows how you feel about this?â
You swallowed, nodding. âI told him, but he says I donât understand the bigger picture, that this is whatâs best for everyone.â You gave a hollow laugh, looking down. âFor everyone but me.â
He felt a pang of guilt, knowing he was just a bodyguard, technically part of the arrangement meant to keep you safe from any threats. But you were more than just a job to him, and the thought of you being forced into something like this made his blood boil. He let out a rough breath, stepping closer. âY/N, you donât have to go along with this. Not if you donât want to.â
Your gaze softened as you looked up at him. âAnd what am I supposed to do, Logan? Run off in the middle of the night?â You gave a small, bitter smile. âI donât even know where Iâd go.â
He didnât hesitate, his voice dropping low. âThen we go together. If you donât wanna go through with this, weâll figure somethinâ else out.â
Your breath hitched at his words, and for a moment, the anger and hurt seemed to fade, replaced by something warmer, more uncertain. âYouâd really⌠leave everything?â
He shrugged, almost nonchalant, but there was a fierce determination in his eyes. âI got no reason to stay here if youâre not here, too.â
You hesitated, torn between the depth of his offer and the weight of the decision you knew would follow. Finally, you gave a small nod, as if grounding yourself in the moment. âI donât know whatâs gonna happen, Logan, but⌠I just need to know youâre here. That Iâm not going through this alone.â
He reached out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering. âIâm not goinâ anywhere, Y/N. You got my word on that.â
There was a silence between you, thick and charged, each of you processing the weight of everything unsaid. His gaze stayed locked on yours, and for a moment, the anger and fear in your eyes softened, replaced by something closer to relief. And then, almost impulsively, you took his hand, squeezing it tight.
âThank you, Logan. I⌠I needed to hear that,â you said softly, glancing away before meeting his gaze again, vulnerability written all over your face. âJust⌠donât let go, okay?â
He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, his voice barely above a whisper. âNot a chance, darlinâ.â
---
Nancy was doing your hair once again for the dinner with the Romano family. You had tried everything over the past few weeks, trying to convince your father that this didnât have to happen. That he promised you he would never do this.
But no matter what you did, he was firm in his stance, "you're getting married to Clyde, and that's final."
You sat still, staring at your reflection in the mirror as Nancy pinned up the last of your curls. Your face looked composed, serene even, but beneath it, there was a storm brewingâa knot of anger and dread you couldnât shake. Every time you thought about that dinner tonight, your stomach twisted. Clyde Romano. A stranger. And yet, your father had decided this was your future, and nothing you said seemed to change his mind.
Nancy, sensing the tension, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Itâll be alright, Y/N. Youâll be surrounded by family."
Family. Right. But none of them seemed to understand how trapped you felt. You forced a tight-lipped smile, nodding. "Thanks, Nancy."
As she stepped back, there was a light knock at the door. You turned to see Logan standing there, looking slightly uncomfortable in his formal attire but as steadfast as ever. His gaze softened as he took in your appearance, though he quickly masked it.
"Didnât mean to interrupt," he said, glancing between you and Nancy. "Just wanted to make sure youâre ready."
Nancy finished adjusting your hair and excused herself, leaving you alone with Logan. You looked at him, searching his face, hoping for some kind of lifeline.
"Logan," you murmured, voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like Iâm being dragged somewhere I canât escape from."
He stepped closer, his expression darkening as he listened. âYouâre not alone in this, Y/N. You know Iâm with you, whatever you decide.â His hand reached out, brushing against your arm, his touch grounding you.
You drew in a shaky breath, steadying yourself. âWhat if I decide to just⌠disappear?â you asked, half-joking but mostly serious.
Loganâs eyes met yours, and you saw the unspoken resolve there. âThen Iâll be right behind you. Doesnât matter where.â
For a moment, you let yourself believe itâthat you could simply run, with Logan at your side. But reality crashed back in, and you dropped your gaze.
"I wish it were that simple," you whispered, clenching your fists. "But if I leave, it could tear everything apart."
Loganâs hand settled over yours, his grip firm and reassuring. "Then we make it through tonight. And tomorrow, we figure out the rest. Youâre not facing this alone, darlinâ. Not as long as Iâm here."
You looked up at him, finding strength in his gaze. Heâd been your rock through all of this, his presence steady and unwavering. And tonight, that was what you needed most.
âAlright,â you murmured, giving him a small, grateful smile. âLetâs go face this⌠together.â
He nodded, his grip on your hand a silent promise. Whatever came next, you knew heâd be there, just as he always had been. And with that thought, you found the courage to head downstairs to face your familyâand the Romanosâone more time.
---
The dinner was at an Italian restaurant, one your father owned as cover for his business. Your dad sat at the head of the table while Clydeâs father sat at the other end. In front of you was your uncle Ermanno, who was also your dadâs consigliere, while Clyde sat next to you.
Logan, along with the other bodyguards, stood watch at the entrance of the private dining room, their silent gazes sweeping the place. He wore his usual hard expression, though his eyes softened just a touch when they found you across the room. Heâd been watching you all nightâcatching every little shift, each moment you looked down or forced a smile, every subtle tightening of your hand on the tablecloth.
Clyde Romano leaned in a little closer, his arm casually brushing against yours as he tried to make small talk. "So, Y/N, I hear youâve been helping out at a shelter?"
You nodded, barely meeting his eyes. âYeah, I volunteer with the dogs mostly. ItâsâŚnice to get away from all this sometimes.â You forced a smile, trying to keep things polite. You could feel your fatherâs gaze on you, watching for any misstep.
Clyde smiled back, but it felt too rehearsed. âWell, once weâre married, you wonât have to worry about shelters or anything like that. Youâll have enough responsibilities as a Romano.â
You felt your stomach twist at his words. Loganâs gaze sharpened from across the room as he picked up on the slight shift in your expression. You shot him a quick look, your eyes pleading for any kind of rescue. Loganâs jaw tightened, and for a brief moment, he almost looked like heâd step in. But he stayed put, his hands clenched behind his back.
Instead, he looked for the smallest opening. Just as Clydeâs attention was pulled away by his father, Logan slipped into view, leaning down beside you. âYou alright?â he murmured, low enough that only you could hear.
âNot even close,â you whispered back, your eyes fixed on your glass. âHeâs already talking about our future like⌠like itâs set in stone.â
Loganâs eyes flickered with something fierce. âWeâll get through this, Y/N. Tonightâs just another show. Nothing more.â His fingers brushed the back of your chair, the barely-there touch sending a wave of calm through you.
But Clydeâs voice cut back in before Logan could say anything more. âY/N, we were thinking of heading to Italy for the honeymoon. Itâll be a good chance to meet the rest of the family there.â
Your heart sank further. Italy. An entire ocean away, away from everything you knew, from everyone who mattered to you. âItaly,â you echoed, your voice strained but steady.
âYeah. The Romano estates are beautifulâbeaches, vineyards⌠a real paradise.â He seemed oblivious to your hesitation, already dreaming up plans youâd had no say in. Your father looked pleased, nodding his approval from his end of the table.
Logan straightened, but the look he gave you was unmistakable: You donât have to do this.
You swallowed, shifting in your seat as Clyde rambled on. When his focus shifted to his own father again, you leaned back just enough to whisper to Logan, âIâm not sure I can keep pretending.â
Loganâs expression softened, and for a second, he let a hint of his guard down. âYou donât have to, darlinâ.â His voice was low, almost tender, meant for you alone. âSay the word, and we walk outta here. Right now.â
The thought made your heart skip, but your gaze drifted toward your father, seated across the table with a look of satisfaction. Leaving wasnât just about you; it would mean defying him, challenging the life heâd molded for you. The thought felt like a mountain on your shoulders.
âI canât just walk away,â you said quietly. âHeâs⌠heâd never forgive me.â
Loganâs hand brushed yours under the table, a quiet show of support. âMaybe heâs the one who should be asking for forgiveness,â he murmured, his thumb tracing a light circle over your knuckles. The warmth of his touch settled something in you, steadying your breath.
You gave a tiny nod, squeezing his hand for just a second before pulling away. Logan straightened, stepping back to his post but still keeping his gaze on you. Clyde was oblivious, caught up in a conversation with his father about future business plans, each word feeling like a nail in the coffin.
Dinner dragged on, a blur of forced laughter and stiff conversation. Every time you felt yourself sinking, you looked toward Logan. He was there, solid and watchful, like a silent promise of something real in a room full of facades.
Eventually, the families began to wind down, talk shifting to more casual chatter. Clyde, emboldened by the nightâs success, reached over and took your hand, his grip possessive. âSoon, youâll be part of the family, Y/N. Youâll see. Youâll come to love it.â
Your mind screamed at the thought, every fiber of you wanting to pull away. But you held still, not daring to make a scene. Loganâs gaze narrowed, his jaw set as he took in the sight of Clydeâs hand around yours.
Finally, as the night came to an end and the families started to stand, Clyde leaned in with a smug smile. âReady to go? I thought weâd take a walk, just the two of us.â
Before you could answer, Logan was there, stepping in with a casual yet firm presence. âMr. Romano,â he said, addressing Clyde but looking right at you, âyour father asked to speak with you in private before you head out.â
Clyde frowned but nodded, reluctantly releasing your hand. âIâll be back soon, Y/N.â He disappeared toward the far end of the room, leaving you alone with Logan.
You let out a slow breath, the tension finally loosening from your shoulders. âThank you,â you whispered, looking up at him, gratitude spilling from every word.
Logan gave a slight nod. âCouldnât let him drag you out there without a say.â His voice was rough, but his eyes softened as he held your gaze. âYouâre not alone in this, Y/N. Whatever happens⌠you got me.â
The weight of the night lifted just a little, and for a moment, you almost believed you had a choice in all of this.
---
âA week?â you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper as you stood in your fatherâs office. The weight of the word seemed to pull you under, even as you fought to keep your voice steady.
Your fatherâs expression was impassive, arms crossed as he looked at you. âYes, Y/N. The Romano family wants to move quickly. They think itâs best, and I agree. Itâs time you take on this responsibility for the family.â
Your jaw clenched. You remembered the promises he made, back when you were younger, that heâd never force you into something like this. âI just⌠I donât understand. You always saidââ
âPeople change, Y/N,â he interrupted, his tone firm. âThis is whatâs best for you and for us. For the family.â
You shook your head, feeling a rush of helplessness. âAnd what about what I want? Iâve been trying to tell you for weeks that I donât want this, and youâre not listening.â
He exhaled sharply, the kind of sigh that signaled his patience was running thin. âThis isnât about what you want. I didnât raise you to be selfish.â
âSelfish?â The word stung, and you couldnât help the surge of anger that rose within you. âIâm asking for my life. How is that selfish?â
He frowned, unyielding. âEnough, Y/N. This is happening. Weâre done discussing it.â
Your breath hitched, but you forced yourself to stay composed. The walls of the office seemed to close in on you, the reality of it settling heavy and cold. You had a weekâseven daysâto either submit to this life heâd chosen for you or⌠what? You didnât even know.
Without another word, you turned and left, fighting the urge to slam the door behind you. The hall felt stifling as you walked out, your thoughts churning.
When you reached your room, Logan was there, waiting. The moment he saw your face, he stiffened. âWhat happened?â His voice was a low rumble, the concern clear.
âA week,â you whispered, barely able to meet his gaze. âI have a week before he marries me off to Clyde.â
Loganâs jaw tightened, and you could see the flash of anger in his eyes. He stepped closer, his hand moving to rest on your shoulder. âSo thatâs it, then? Heâs just⌠throwing you to that bastard?â
You nodded, the words catching in your throat. âI donât know what to do, Logan. I tried everything, but he wonât listen. Heâs set on it.â
Loganâs hand slipped down, finding yours and giving it a reassuring squeeze, his rough fingers warm and grounding. You tightened your grip, the frustration and helplessness boiling inside you finally having somewhere to go.
âIâm supposed to just go along with it,â you muttered, bitterness seeping into your words. âAct like Iâm thrilled to be Clydeâs obedient little wife. Like my lifeâs just⌠his to take.â
Loganâs gaze darkened. âItâs not. You know that. And anyone who tries to take it without your say? They got me to deal with.â His voice was low and dangerous, a promise just for you.
You looked up, searching his face, a flicker of hope stirring. âBut what can we do, Logan? Heâs not going to listen to me. And if I push back too hard⌠I donât know what heâll do.â
âThen let me get you out of here,â Logan said, leaning in closer. His voice softened, gentler now. âWe can leave, right now if you want. Just say the word.â
Your heart twisted painfully, the temptation so fierce you almost said yes then and there. But reality clawed its way back, the weight of your fatherâs expectations and the tight grip he kept on every part of your life. Leaving would mean giving up everythingâand, deep down, you werenât sure you could risk it.
âWhat about my dad?â you whispered, feeling the weight of it pressing down again. âHeâs⌠heâd see it as betrayal, Logan. And what if he goes after you?â
A flicker of something familiar crossed Loganâs face, a shadow from a life you couldnât remember but that he clearly did. âY/N, donât worry about me,â he murmured. âBeen through worse.â He squeezed your hand a little tighter, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a gesture so tender it nearly undid you. âAnd if heâs got a problem, then he can take it up with me.â
You let out a shaky breath, feeling the anger and fear give way just a bit. âYou say that now, but you havenât seen how he gets when people cross him. Heâd never forgive me, Logan. Heâd never forgive us.â
Loganâs hand moved to cup your face, his touch steadying you as his eyes met yours. âThen we donât need his forgiveness. We get you out, and I keep you safe. Whatever comes after, we face it together.â
The fierce certainty in his voice sent a warmth flooding through you, your resolve hardening under his gaze. âBut Clyde, the Romanoâs⌠they wonât just let it go.â
A smirk tugged at Loganâs mouth, the edge of defiance clear. âThen theyâll learn what happens when they mess with you. Ainât nobodyâs right to take away your freedom, Y/N. Not your old man, not Clyde, not anyone.â
A beat of silence stretched between you, his hand still warm against your cheek. Your fingers tightened around his, and for a second, all the anger and dread faded, leaving just you and him in the quiet of the room.
âWhat about⌠us?â The words slipped out before you could stop them, and for a second, you held your breath, waiting for his reaction.
Loganâs eyes softened, his gaze never leaving yours. âWhat about us, darlinâ?â He brushed a thumb along your cheek, his voice dropping to a low murmur. âYou think Iâd just leave you here to face this on your own?â
His words sent a rush of warmth through you, and before you knew it, you were leaning into him, his presence steady and unshakable. He let out a low sigh, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer, his other hand tracing gentle circles over your back.
âYouâre all Iâve got in this,â you whispered, feeling the tears prick at the corners of your eyes. âI canât lose you, too.â
âYou wonât,â he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, his hold tightening just enough to reassure you. âNot now, not ever.â
You stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped up in his embrace, the weight of everything slipping away in his arms. But eventually, reality crept back in, and you pulled back, catching the flicker of resolve in his gaze.
âIf we do thisâŚâ You paused, steadying yourself. âIf we leave, we need a plan.â
Logan gave a small nod, his hand still resting on yours. âWeâll figure it out. Tonight, weâre just gettinâ you through this.â
It was a promise, simple and unbreakable, and for the first time in weeks, you felt a flicker of hope stirring deep inside you.
---
The rehearsal dinner was held in a private room at the church a few days later; a grand, echoing place with gilded walls and tall stained-glass windows that cast colored light over everything. Clyde, his parents, and your family were all gathered, discussing wedding arrangements like it was a done deal, each word chipping away at any illusion of control you had left.
Logan and the other bodyguards stood at a respectful distance, keeping watch. He tried to keep his gaze neutral, but his eyes lingered on you longer than necessary, catching every forced smile and stiff nod you gave.
As the minister went through the motions, you and Clyde practiced exchanging vows. You held his hands, repeating words that felt like a foreign languageâlifeless, meaningless. Your eyes drifted toward Logan, and he gave you the barest nod, grounding you with that single, unspoken promise.
After the vows, Clyde leaned in close, his voice low and smug. âI think youâll come to love our life together, Y/N. Just give it time.â
You forced a polite smile, biting back the words you wanted to say. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Logan clench his fists, his face darkening.
Finally, as the rehearsal ended and people began drifting off, you made your way to a quiet corner, needing a moment alone. Logan slipped over to you, his movements subtle as he came to stand beside you.
âAre you alright?â he asked, his voice softer now that it was just the two of you.
You shook your head, feeling that familiar knot of dread twist tighter. âLogan, I donât think I can go through with this. But I donât know if I can run, either. Iâm⌠ Iâm stuck.â
He took a deep breath, his gaze intense as he looked down at you. âWhat if I told you that you didnât have to decide tonight?â he asked quietly. âThat we could just⌠take it one day at a time. You donât have to have all the answers right now.â
The tension in your shoulders eased a bit, and you met his eyes, finding strength in the certainty there. He wasnât pushing you, wasnât forcing anything on you. He was just⌠here, with you, in whatever way you needed.
âOkay,â you whispered, nodding slowly. âOne day at a time.â
Logan gave a small, reassuring smile. âThatâs all we need, darlinâ.â His hand brushed your shoulder, lingering just a second longer than necessary before he stepped back.
---
The day of the wedding had arrived, and you were dolled up, your makeup and hair were perfect, and your wedding dress was heavy, constricting, and large.
Once the makeup artists and hair stylists left, you had fled to the bathroom in the bridal suite and were currently hunched over the toilet. You hadnât thrown upâyetâbut you could feel the nausea and anxiousness rising.
You braced yourself against the counter, taking deep breaths as you tried to calm the twisting feeling in your stomach. The dress felt like a vice, heavy and restrictive, pressing on every nerve, suffocating in a way that went beyond fabric and lace. You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping the queasiness would pass.
A knock at the door pulled you from the spinning in your head.
âY/N?â Nancyâs soft, steady voice filtered through, full of that motherly concern youâd come to rely on all your life.
You took a steadying breath, swallowing hard before calling out, âCome in, Nancy.â
The door creaked open, and Nancy stepped inside, closing it quietly behind her. Her gaze immediately softened as she took in the look on your face, her expression a mix of sympathy and something elseâresolve, maybe.
âOh, cara mia,â she murmured, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder. âYou donât look well. This whole businessâitâs too much, isnât it?â
You managed a shaky nod. âI⌠I donât know if I can do this, Nancy. Every time I think about it, I justâŚâ You trailed off, not sure how to put into words the suffocating dread that had settled over you.
She gave you a small, encouraging squeeze. âYou know,â she said quietly, âthere are other paths besides the one your father chose for you. And you donât have to walk it alone.â
Your heart skipped at her words. âYou⌠youâd help me? Even if IâŚ?â
Nancy nodded, a spark of fierce protectiveness in her eyes. âLoganâs already got your things in his car,â she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. âIf youâre ready to go, heâs waiting.â
You blinked back tears before grabbing one of her hands, ây- you want me to go?â
âSĂ. Your father is a bastardo, breaking that promise him and your mother made.â She squeezed your hand, âLoganâs a good man. Iâve seen the way he looks at you. He wonât let you down.â
You swallowed hard, Nancyâs words settling like a quiet fire in your chest. She was right. Your father had broken his promise, and you didnât owe him your life just because he controlled every other part of it.
With a shaky exhale, you gave her a nod. âAlright⌠Iâll go.â
Nancyâs face softened, relief mingling with pride. âGood girl. Now, take this.â She pressed a small envelope into your hand. âCash. Just in case.â
You looked down at it, blinking back tears. âThank you, Nancy. For everything.â
She pulled you into a hug, her hand stroking your back gently. âGo, cara mia. Go live your life.â She pulled back, eyes glinting with fierce determination. âAnd donât look back.â
You nodded, holding onto that resolve as you slipped out of the bathroom and made your way down the hall, heart pounding. Every step felt heavier, weighed down by fear and the voice in the back of your mind that told you this was dangerous, reckless. But when you stepped outside and saw Logan waiting by his car, the weight lifted.
He looked up, his gaze intense but soft, like heâd been waiting for this moment just as long as you had. âYou ready?â
You hesitated, just for a moment, before giving him a small nod. âYeah. Letâs get out of here.â
Logan opened the passenger door for you, helping you in, his hand lingering on yours for a second longer than necessary. He closed the door, then climbed into the driverâs seat, starting the engine with a low rumble that matched the pulse pounding in your ears.
As he pulled out of the churchâs parking lot, the weight of the decision hit you again. You were leaving everything behindâthe security, the expectations, the people whoâd shaped your entire life. But with each passing second, the fear melted away, replaced by a strange, liberating sense of excitement.
Logan glanced over, noticing the small smile tugging at your lips. âYou donât look so panicked now.â
You shook your head, unable to hide your grin. âIâm not. Not with you here.â
He gave a soft chuckle, that familiar warmth in his gaze. âGood. Because weâve got a long drive ahead of us.â
You settled back, feeling more at ease than youâd felt in months. There was silence for a moment, comfortable and charged, before you turned to him, voice barely a whisper.
âWhere are we going?â
Logan smirked. âAnywhere but here.â
You laughed softly, relaxing into your seat. The road stretched ahead, open and endless, and for the first time in a long while, the future felt like something you could shape.
logan is 141 years old and reader is around 23-25 years old
what!? is that a happy ending? who would've thought... next up, is origins!
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Heal your hurt
Viktor x reader
Warnings: Hurt/comfort, angst, health issues, mental health issues, light swearing, chubby reader, intimacy, smut, friends to lovers, reader has chronic pain
I just need to take care of Viktor and for him to take care of me xD
Itâs a quiet day, rain gently pattering on the window of your shared apartment. Viktorâs been your roommate for three years now, but youâve known him since you were little. Youâve always loved Viktor, lately though it just seems different, you catch yourself staring at him, watching the way his eyes scan over journals, notes and blueprints, watch the way his jaw sometimes clenchâs a little to harshly, or his high cheek bones. Watching him slowly grow tired while you read on the bed making sure he doesnât fall asleep at the desk, or how he makes his tea in the morning, his hair a mess his eyes barely open. It makes your cheek heat and your thighs clench. You want to throw yourself out the window some days at how bad it gets, you canât help but wonder, let your mind wander to thoughts you shouldnât be thinking about him, you imagine straddling him, making sure heâs comfortable before slowing sinking-
The door opening makes you startle, your book falls to the floor and you stare blankly before you register.
âWelcome homeâ you call to Viktor who just hums and heads to his desk lying his things down. He looks tired today more so than usual, his limp is worse than normal and you can see the tense lines in his jaw and brow.
âHow was your day?â You ask. You know better than to ask if heâs ok, always being brushed off.
âGoodâ he answers simply sitting down resting his cane against the table, it wouldnât be a talking day then. You sigh softly picking up your book and lying it on the table head in hand, elbow resting on the table as you look out the window, watching the rain fall.
âDid you have a good day?â Viktorâs voice comes and you look to him, heâs looking to you to which surprised you.
âIt was boringâ you shrug and he nods.
âJayce says helloâ he says and turns back to his desk.
âTell him I say hi backâ you say and he nods. You stand up deciding to take a shower instead of sitting, your hips protest and you swear you feel like someone just stabbed you in the tail bone. You want to curse but keep it in and awkwardly go to the bathroom. You run a bath, put in a few drops of oil and a scoop of bath salts, itâs your own damn fault for sitting in that chair too long. You want to slap yourself but donât as you strip and struggle with your pants and socks. You sit on the toilet seat jaw clenching. Times like these you missed your mother, her helpful hand her warm words and caring touch, she made you feel less useless. You force your legs up and take off your socks one by one it takes you too long and youâre rushing to turn the taps off before you even get your pants off. You sigh shimmying your pants off before you settle in the bath with a small sigh of satisfaction. A temporary subdue of pain, you figured by now theyâd invent something to stop this kind of thing, but no, weâre just inventing blimps and hextech. You sit in the bath eyes closed head resting on the small bath pillow that Viktor bought you. Itâs⌠nice the small things he does, heâll buy you a small gift you use every day like a new bookmark, a blanket or something you need, heâll leave one of your jackets hanging by the door if itâs cold, he always knows how to make the best tea.
âAre you alive in there?â A gentle knock echos from the door and you open your eyes realising you were lost in thought.
âYeah Iâm aliveâ you call out hearing a soft rare chuckle from Viktor.
âWould you like a tea?â He asks and the thought of hot tea makes you smile.
âYes pleaseâ you answer. Getting out the bath seems to harder than getting in, you feel ten times more heavy and drying your body feels like running a marathon. You struggle to your room, listen to the kettle boil as you take some pain meds and get dressed carefully. You leave your room and collapse on the couch ungracefully and sigh. Youâve never outright told Viktor of your problems, you figure he can see them even though you try to hide, sometimes itâs too much to hide, but you donât want your burdens on him when he already has his own.
âTeaâ Viktor says and hands you the cup. You thank him and sit up properly sipping the herbal drink with a small sigh.
âViktor?â You ask as he sits at his desk and he hums back. You pause for a moment sighing and shaking your head.
âSorry, donât worryâ you brush off picking up a book instead. You donât see him falter and stop what heâs doing till you hear his voice.
âHow is your book?â He asks.
âS, goodâ you hum.
âWhatâs it about?â He adds and you flick your eyes up seeing him writing something down.
âYou donât like my silly romance novelsâ you snort softly.
âIndulge meâ he answers and something in your stomach flutters.
âI- ok. Itâs about opposing kingdoms the Prince and the Princess must marry to form an alliance between each kingdom, they hate each other though and sheâs been planning to murder him to get revenge for motherâs death. Theyâre forced to be together for appearance and she slowly finds out that it wasnât in fact the prince that killed her mother but someone else, I think it was one of the kings assassins and the prince had no idea about it, anyway, she realised that the prince is not the evil master mind he appears to be, heâs a soft hearted gentlemen who cares for the people in secret and tries to save the kingdom from collapsingâ you explain only half way through the book.
âHas either one confessed?â He asks.
âNo, sheâs still learning about her feelings but heâs head over heels just doesnât want to push herâ you shrug sipping your tea again and reading the page you were on.
âAn enemies to lovers? Is that what you called it?â He comments and you smile to yourself.
âYeah thatâs what itâs calledâ you answer.
âWith a slowâŚburn?â He tilts his head and your smile widens even if he canât see it.
âAlso correctâ you let out a small giggle.
âI am slowly learning your⌠book languageâ you feel your stomach do a flip with butterflies at his words and you force yourself to stop smiling. You clear your throat and nod.
âYeah, youâre doing goodâ you mumble focusing on finishing your tea and page.
Next part ->
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đżđ§đđŹđŁ đžđĄđ¤đ¨đđ§ đđ¤đđđŠđđđ§
word count: 3.2k
mentions of: yeah its just sex,, uhhhh ya get together at the end but itâs pretty vanilla and i think this might be one of my fav writings for iida so far ehehehe this story was so fun to make. I plan on making a pt.3 and Iâm going to postttt soon idk :P
part one
moodboard here!
You tied a cute bow in the belt of your robe once more, walking over to him and fixing the glasses on his oh so cherry red face. âTenya..?â You ask, sitting on the side of the table next to him. You glance down at the sketch, seeing how far he had actually gotten. It was pretty impressive for someone who is a beginner when it comes to realism, or art itself really. âDo you want some help?â
His jaw was slack, staring up at you now that you were so much closer. Whatever perfume you had on almost made him faint, and there was nothing he could really formulate besides a very quiet, âEx..excuse me?â
âI said, Do you want some help..?â You tease, leaning down so your faces were only a few inches from each other. You reach for his tie, slowly sliding your hand down his chest. âI wouldn't want you to fail just because your model was a distraction..â You lean closer, gripping the end of his tie as ruby eyes glancing down at your pretty plump lips.
Did you mean help help him, or draw it yourself? There was no way he was reading into this wrong, right? Did you see his hard-on the whole time?? He gave a long blink, trying to keep his head on straight. âI w..would love-â Before he could finish the sentence, you tug on the tie and press your lips against his. He melted into you, hands placing themselves onto your hips softly almost as if youâd break if he did touch you.
He had yearned for this for so long. There was no way you felt this way all this time and he never picked up on it. The thought only made him deepen the kiss, his hands moving to hold your face in his palms. You let his tie go with a smile, giggling at his eagerness to kiss you back. You place your hands on his shoulder, feeling him stand but refusing to let his lips leave yours. It felt like fireworks were going off around the two of you, only pulling away when you both needed the air.
Tenya was once again standing with crooked glasses, red faced, and this time slightly out of breath. âY/n I.. Why didnât.. How did I not..â He panted, after what was only a few seconds, he crashed his lips against yours before you could even respond to his stuttering. You whimpered in response, attempting to untie the tie the best you could with your eyes closed. He helped you, loosening it and letting his hands tangle themselves behind your head and into the kitchen of your hair the best he could. He just wanted you closer. Closer than he already was.
You pull away from him, feverishly leaving kissing along his sharp jawline. He sighed, hands going back to your waist patiently. He rubbed your sides up and down as you kissed down his neck, letting out a breathless whine at the missing feeling of your warm lips against his.
âWhy haven't we ever k..kissed before now if this is how you ..f-felt..â He sucked in a sharp gasp once you kissed the right side of his neck. Bingo. You bit down on that spot listening to him groan in your ear, gripping your hips a little harder.
You open your legs slightly so he can stand between them, his body involuntarily pulling you towards the edge as he takes the step towards you. âBecause I can't lose you.. I never thought you'd feel the same..â You mumble against his skin, leaving open mouthed kisses down to his collar before unbuttoning it.
You could feel the hard-on poke at your thigh, tauntingly moving to grind against him. After all, the silk of your robe was the only thing keeping him from well.. you. He ached, looking down at you with an almost heartbroken look in his eyes.
âOf course I do, I have wanted you for a very long time.. I know I can treat you better than anyone else out there y/n. It hurts so bad when you'd find someone else more interesting than me. I thought I was too..â He paused for a second, groaning as he grinded against you subconsciously. âA square, if you will.â He chuckled nervously at the admission, feeling you nipping at the most sensitive part of his neck as he let out soft moans and grumbles.
You pull away to look at him, fixing his glasses from earlier with a small giggle. âThere's nothing wrong with liking books, or wanting to follow the rules..â Manicured hand began to unbutton his collar and down his shirt.
âAnd I just never thought you'd go for someone like me. I assumed you'd want a shy girl or somthinâ.. I guess we really did make an ass out of u and me.â You tease, giggling once more at your own play on words. You stopped about halfway down his shirt unless this was too much. You didn't wanna be too pushy but God did you want to see those abs.
He let out a small laugh as well, staring down at your gorgeous lips. âI would have told you a lonnnng time ago, y/n. I'm sorry I didn'tââ He started, feeling your finger press against his lips to stop him.
âWe know now, don't we? Now we move forward.â You wrap your legs around his waist, watching him nod until you move your finger away. âHow about I finally help you?â You run a hand down his chest, watching him shudder at the feeling of your acrylics.
He leaned over you, hands moving onto the table rather than on your hips. âIf we're going to do anything, I want to do it the right way..â You wanted to pout at his response. He was right, being caught would be absolutely terrible for the both of you. I guess it wouldn't hurt to go back to one of your apartments and finish? Ugh but then the mood is different..
As the gears in your brain worked, Tenya still mindless pressing against you, began kissing you once more. You smile, coconut colored eyes following as he kisses your neck. This time looking for you to gasp or make some sort of noise. His lips smirked against your skin, kissing down to your shoulder and moving the robe off of it. He bit right between your neck and shoulder, causing you to squeal and grip onto his shirt.
Your eyes fluttered, feeling him kiss down to your collarbone. He guided a hand to unbutton the rest of his shirt, the other going back to resting on your waist. He made sure to kiss down the valley of your breasts, not breaking eye contact with you once had he looked up.
âMay I?â He motioned to the robe, watching you quickly shrug the silk off of your other shoulder and pulling the tie of your belt. All he needed was to open it up completely. He chuckled at your quickness, letting it pull around your legs once again. He made sure to kiss both of your boobs, finishing with the unbuttoning of his shirt. He used that hand to pinch at your nip, putting the other in his mouth to suck on.
You arch your back into his touch, whimpering as you squeezed your legs around him in response. You could feel him smile, swapping to give your girls equal attention. He felt you buck at such simple actions, kissing down your navel and to where your robe pooled.
âYou sound so sweet.. I need to taste you. Wouldn't be gentlemanly of me to go first baby,â You melted at the name, nodding hurriedly. He smiled, going onto his knees and scooping his arms under your knees. He pulled you to the edge, watching you jolt in surprise. You could feel your heart beating in more places than one. The entire time the only thing that had been covering you up was that flimsy piece of silk which he finally moved out of the way, staring down at you for a moment.
This obviously wasnât the first time heâs been in a sexual situation, but he couldnât help but freeze for a moment. You were so stunning.. ethereal even. He really didnât mean to stare, not wanting you to think something was wrong or he was too scared. Just very much in love with the look of you. He finally breaks concentration, looking up at you with a small smile. âYou promise this is okay?â He wanted to double check just in case you saw him as he saw himself.. God forbid you did.
âI promise.â You put your pinky out, watching him move his hand from your thigh to interlock his pinky with yours. Without any hesitation, he shoved his glasses up and opened your legs wider. He kissed your clit before starting to suck on it, crimson eyes staring up at you to see what he was doing well vs what you didnât like as much. Your breathing hitched, hand going to take the glasses and set them on the table so you could grip onto his hair the correct way. You rut your hips towards him, staring down in awe.
He couldnât help but stare back up at you, strong hands keeping your thighs pressed against his shoulders despite your involuntarily squirming. He swirled his tongue around your bundle of nerves, hands gripping onto your thighs so he could be as close as possible. You tasted so sweet. Damn near sweeter than fruit, only making him want more. Flattening his tongue against you and going back to giving your sensitive spot hell.
You pulled at his navy blue hair, hands gripping onto him as you rode yourself against his tongue. Stuttering out praises through pants and moans, âFfffuck.. tenya-ah!~â You squeak out, thighs beginning to shake from wanting to close. He slithered a hand from your thigh, teasingly tracing his index finger around your entrance. âDonât t..tease me!â You leaned forward, hair falling around your shoulders as you looked down at him.
âPlease please pl-ngh~!â Your begging was stopped by the feeling of two thick fingers sliding into you as he swirled his tongue around your clit some more. He made sure to curl them, feeling you clench around his fingers drove him insane. Thrusting his fingers into you even faster than his tongue was moving. You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, the knot in your stomach starting to tighten. You couldnât keep quiet even if you really wanted to. You were on another planet.
The face you made when you came could only be described as angelic to iida, he watched as you came undone around his lips. You laid your back against the table as he lapped it up. Almost liked someone dying of dehydration. He slowed his fingers down, sliding them out of you to lick his fingers clean. He lightly placed your legs back onto the table. âYou taste divine, you know that?â He asked, unbuckling his belt and tossing his wallet on the table.
You blink up at him, panting and giggling. âI know now,â You stared up at him, messy haired and mouth wet as lustful but loving eyes stared down at you. You took a mental picture, biting your lip to hold back your happy giggles. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, sliding the belt off and placing it on the chair behind him. âLet me,â You lean forward, unbuttoning his dress pants hurriedly and unzipping them. It ached being hard for so long, but as many times as heâs imagined this to play out, he was always going to make you feel good first.
âI need you, y/n..â He admitted almost in a whisper, reaching for his glasses so he could actually see you. You tug his pants down, letting out a small laugh to yourself at the red checkered underwear he wore before pulling them down as well. You assumed heâd be big, the man is 6 foot and built like a fucking unit.
What you werenât expecting was for it to spring right in front of your face. Thereâs no way that can.. Well, Doesnât matter if it fits or not. No way youâd miss the opportunity. He let out a chuckle, assumingly at your wide eyes.
âYou have me,â You smile up at him with half lidded eyes, changing your expression quickly so you werent the one looking like a deer in headlights. You grab his cock with manicured nails, licking the precum from his tip before siding as much as you could into your throat.
His breath hitched, a small groan leaving his lips. âNo sweetheart, I mean I need you. As much as.. Iâd l..love you to,â He let out a breathless sigh filled with pleasure, head tilting back.
âKeep.. feeling your mouth, I need you. Awfully bad, I might a..add.â He struggled to speak, moans escaping his lips as he felt you take him completely down your throat for a moment. You pulled away with a pop, smiling up at him.
âWhatever you want, sir..â You tease, sitting up and putting your hands on his shoulders, slowly sliding them to his neck to cup his face. âGive me a few more kisses, huh mister?â You didnât even have time to lean up, feeling his lips desperately go back to yours. You tangle your hands in his messy hair once more, feeling him lay you down gently.
He pulled your legs to the edge once more, listening to the squeak you let out as he subconsciously manhandled you. He looks over to the wallet he tossed on the table earlier, opening it to fish for a condom that he always carried around. Not that he ever thought heâd really use it.
âYou donât need one,â You see him quickly look at you as if you were insane, vermillion eyes studying your face. âIâm serious! If worse comes to worse Iâll stop by the pharmacy. I want us both to actually feel it..â You sit up once more, pretty brown eyes staring up at him pleadingly. You place a hand on his arm, which was enough for him to go standing right back in front of you.
âAre you sure, y/n? Absolutely positive?â He asked carefully, cock twitching at the cold air of the room. The snow from the skylight had covered it so much the room was practically black if it werenât for the very dim but few lights in the room. You nod, giving him a reassuring kiss on the cheek.
âI wouldnât say it if I didnât mean it,â You smile, laying back down. Big hands gripped your hips as he lined himself up to you, staring down at your sensitive bud for a moment before slowly sliding the tip into you. You whimper, gasping and letting your eyes roll back as he slid what you could take into you. You felt full, eyes trying to focus on the man in front of you.
âFuck..â He muttered, leaning over you and kissing up from your collarbone to your neck, holding you close as he started to move gently into you. He knew he was big, and he didnât plan on hurting you. he wanted it to be the best experience youâve ever had.. despite the uncommon location. You hug him quickly, whining out and pressing your face into his shoulder. It couldnât get closer than this.. Or so you thought, feeling him slowly start to fuck you open and press against that spot. Tears well in the corners of your eyes, gasping and biting the pain into his shoulder.
He hissed, making sure to go as slow as his mind and body would let him. He needed to see you completely undone, but your comfortability and adjusting to it would come first. âItâs okay sweetheart, âm right here. I got you. â He whispered into your ear, nipping at your lobe with a small smile. You could hear how passionate he was in his voice, letting your legs wrap around him once more.
After a few more slow thrusts into you, you move from his shoulder and whisper back. âF..Fuck me like you mean it, Ten. I can take i..it.â You mewled out, feeling him kiss from your cheek to your lips before slamming into you. You squeaked, having trouble trying to kiss back. You couldnât quiet down even if you wanted to. Your nails grab at his back, lightly scratching so you didnât rip his skin open. Shit, fucking you like this you might not be able to stop yourself.
He shuddered at the feeling, pulling away from your lips to leave open mouthed kisses against your neck. You bite your lip hard, you didnât know what time it was but you knew there were still people in the building. He slid his hands up to your back, letting his hands hold onto your shoulders from underneath you to keep you still while he fucked your brains out.
You were seeing stars, biting and leaving hickeys all over him to muffle yourself. He gritted his teeth, glancing down at you through foggy glasses. âYou take it so good, honey.. Need..Need you like this all the time.â He huffed out, letting out another breathless chuckle at your fucked out expression. âCan I have you?â
Broken sobs of pleasure was really all you could give in return, nodding as quick as you could before kissing him once again. He smiled against your lips, letting a hand slide down to your clit. He only thumbed over it a few times before you came, legs squeezing tighter against his torso. He pulled his hand away, moving both of them back to your hips. He was obviously close too, but it felt so good he wasnât sure he could pull out exactly in time.
âG-Gotta let me pull out, honey..â You shake your head no, burying your face into his skin once again. âNeed.. need to feel.. In meâ cum in me.â He began to slow down, trying to think through racing thoughts and how good you felt around him. It wasn't much time to make the decision and professionalism was already out the window at this point. âP.. Please- please tenya~?â You cry out, hugging close to him. If thatâs what you wanted, he was going to oblige.
He gave a couple more thrusts, cumming into you and holding you close. Once you pulled away enough, he left peppered kisses amongst your neck and jaw.
You smile, sighing out tiredly before giving him a few kisses on his poor red lips. âYou are my favorite human being on the planet,â You huff out, trying to continue but your thoughts were a bit scrambled. âIâm yours. For as long as you want me.â
He quickly responded, kissing your cheek in conformation. âForever. I want you to be mine.. Forever.â He was sweaty, hair sticking to his forehead and still out of breath himself. His face was red, eyes hanging low from both tiredness and wonderment.
You giggle at his response, taking his glasses and cleaning them with the silk of the robe that was under you.
âForever it is.â
Š if you like what you see please reblog! It means a lot! Want more? Heres my m.list! I write for x black reader so throw me some requests :P my other account are icons and x black reader moodboards if youâre interested!
ALSO ALSO special thank you @urfriendlywriter for some of the smut ideas and the vocabulary, it helped better than fighting a thesaurus lol
thank you @thecutestgrotto and @arlerts-angel for the banners and thank you @fizzintine for coloring the top photo!
have a good day/night/whatever!
#sugar reblogs!#bnha smut#bnha x reader#mha smut#tenya iida x reader#tenya lida#bnha tenya#tenya iida x black reader#tenya iida smut#tenya iida imagine#mha x black reader#bnha x black!reader#x black reader smut#x black plus size reader#x black reader#x black fem reader#x black y/n#bnha iida#tenya iida#mha iida#iida#iida x black reader#iida smut#iida x reader#iida x you#iida x y/n#iida tenya#bnha x chubby reader#bnha x fem!reader#mha x poc!reader
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"Ready... to give up?!" His panting voice cracked his confident Facade.
You didn't need to answer, only cleaning your cheeks from the dust, Take your training rod and rise up again. You preferred to be beaten than admit defeat.
Yuån Fèn's younger siblings couldn't decide if they felt excitement about the match or guilty about making you both fight... Well, it wasn't like you two were really fighting, but now neither of the two of you wanted to back down...
Everything started so many hours ago...
When the two of you weren't training, Yuån Fèn's duty around the Mountain was quite simple: training the youngest monkey. You had the chance to observe him, and what you learned was that he was quite good at it! He was patient and understanding with those who found some difficulty in mastering a few techniques, yet severe and authoritarian with the ones that crossed the line far too much.
That day, on the other hand, was quite an event for his young disciples! It was the day of your first fighting lesson!
You, on your side, were nervous. For them The first time, you would have held a staff and learned the basics of Yuån Fèn fighting skills, a way to finally be more helpful in your mission, but the idea of not being even able to hold a simple wooden rod scared you. You gulped when a strong pat was given on your back; a chuckle escaped from him while you tried to fix your bandages on your hands.
"Nervous?"
"Yeah... a little..."
"You'll be great! I bet you'll be amazing!"
You smiled a little, yet still a little worried.
All those thoughts were put aside when you and Yuån Fèn faced each other while he showed you how a few stances needed to be done properly. Maybe, you thought, the standing in the actual scene helped you against your anxiety, and, all things considered, you weren't that bad at all! Even Yuån Fèn needed to admit you were a natural!
"This is a defensive stance. In case of danger, it will help you."
"Like this?" You mimicked his same pose. He loves a little of your arms, but besides that, he hasn't touched you at all.
"Good.... Good, very good! Let's try it. A few more stances, okay?"
You really were a natural one there. You were sucking in learning writings and reading the scrolls, always asking their meaning and all, but maybe your talent was fighting! The thought still made the monkey a little uneasy, but if it gave you confidence, then why stop you?
And you were getting confident!
"Come on, give me something REALLY hard!"
Ok, maybe too much. He did take your challenge to heart and decided to take the thing to another level...a small fighting session.
"Come on," he said, taking his position. "I thought you wanted something harder..."
"...ah!" You followed him, taking yours.
More than once, his staff hit your hand with the only intent of disarming you, and every time you had to message your hands and take back your weapon fast, even when he was clearly waiting for you to take it back.
More than once you were able to hit him at least once, but he was able to strike at least three more times. And every time he looked at you, waiting for you to give up.
He had cornered you many times, even when he was clearly telling you to take a look at your surroundings, only for you to hit your back against the wooden wall.
You were good, but he was better, and that...frustrated you.
Now there you were, your hands trembling from the many strikes, hickeys ready to form all over your body and your breath heavy. He was painting, but it was clear that he wasn't in as bad a shape as you.
"I... I won't... stand down..."
"You really should... with those hands too..."
You only grasped harder your hands on the rod, attacking again. Both of your staff crashed together, with his feet trying to not let him lose his balance.
You tried to put more force into it, using your body as a weight, but he quickly chose to move away and broke the stall. You tumbled around, falling badly on the dust, coughing and trying to get up as quickly as possible, only to find his staff again pointed at you.
"Okay...you've got some good moves, Y/n...but I'm still stronger here!"
You held your breath...then suddenly kicked his leg with your foot. The sudden attack made him tumble down, with you stopping him by climbing on him, sitting on his waist. Your rod is pointing at him, a satisfied grin on your face, feeling a small victory on you.
"And I'm smarter!"
You waited for another retort, only to meet a shocked face, with a small tint of red on his ears. Only then did you realize in what kind of position you were, especially when you felt his hands on your hips ...
A few seconds of silence, of pure nothing between the two of you... then he raised his hands like he had touched iron hot, and you jumped away, feeling your face melting by your heating.
"NICE FIGHT! GREAT LESSON! GOTTA GO!" You screamed while practically running away from the scene, while your poor monkey was there, on the ground, trying to make sense of everything.
He did the only thing he could do, putting himself in fetal position with his face in his hands, his tails frantically moving around. His siblings, slowly approaching him, decided to climb on him, chirping around and laughing a little.
"What a show, Brother! Such a show!"
#black myth wukong#black myth: wukong#black myth : wukong#black myth wukong x reader#black myth wukong oc#black myth wukong destined one#black myth wukong x oc#the destined one#destined one#destined one x reader#destined one x oc#sun wukong#sunwukong#wukong#sun wukong x reader#sun wukong x oc#sun wukong x y/n#wukong x reader#wukong x oc#wukong x y/n#Jttw#jttw sun wukong#jttw wukong#journey to the west#the monkey king#monkey king#monkeyking#x reader#reader#reader insert
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eye contact. matt sturniolo.
༣ summary: you and your bf are in bed watching a movie he suggested but all you can think about is how good he looks. and how heâd look even better looking down at you as you blow him.
༣ pairing: bf!matt sturniolo x fem!reader
༣ warnings: oral sex (male receiving), pet names (baby, princess, beautiful idk), light smut itâs just a bj, making out, he tastes his own cum⌠also not proof read!! sorryyyy lol im too scared to re read..
༣ authorâs note: okay so this is like.. my first smut..! so im nervy and only have the guts to do a blowjob sooo take it or leave it! pls lmk if it sucks. love u đ
you and matt are currently sat up in bed, him a little lower down than you. meaning youâre able to admire him without him noticing. and if thereâs one thing you can always do, itâs admire your boyfriend. look at his pretty eyes. his plump pink lips. his veiny hands. his toned arms. just, everything about him. in your eyes heâs perfect.
today, though. he was in a grey tank top and plaid pajama pants. and oh how you adored how he looks in tank tops. his hairs wet from the shower, heâs fidgeting with your fingers, his slim hands looking extremely good. if it were up to you, his pants would be off and youâd have him down your throat. but youâre far too shy for that. right?
your thoughts get interrupted once you see him look away from his tv and at you. âyou okay?â he giggles. âno, yeah, sorryâ you blush, looking at the tv. ânah baby. whatâs distracting you?â he asks, sitting higher up. ânothingâ well, him of course. but no way could you admit that. âyou sure?â he glances at your lips as the words leave his mouth. which just makes this way harder for you. âwhat do you think is distracting me, matt?â you ask with genuine curiosity. âwell since youâve watched about a minute of this entire movie, iâd say i am.â he says and you shyly smile. âa littleâ you shrug. âa little?â he asks and you confidently nod. âalright. what do you wanna do?â he asks and your eyes widen at the question, not expecting it. âum. nothingâ i say. âwe both know thatâs not true.â he replies. you look him up and down, making a smirk form on his lips.
âyou wanna touch me, hm?â he hums. your mouth gaps open, your mind going crazy thinking about what the fuck to say back. âyeah.â you say, your heart ready to beat out of your chest. âiâm all yoursâ he adjusts himself, grabbing your waist to pull you onto his lap. you shyly kiss him, almost immediately deepening it. and after a bit of very lovingly making out, you start lifting his shirt up. so he takes the sign and helps you get it off. you kiss down his neck, leaving hickeys on the way down to his collarbone. you pull away and he flashes you a soft smile, really easing your nerves. blow jobs really werenât your thing. you never really know how to get into them. but whenever you did, matt adored it.
you move down, sitting on your knees between his legs. you look up at him for approval, him giving you a little nod in response. you untie his plaid pants and nervously pull them down enough to reveal his hard dicks print through his underwear. your heart skips a beat, seeing pre-cum leaking through his grey boxers. you palm him a bit, making a moan like breath leave his lips. you smile, liking that what youâre doing is making him feel good.
matt gives you a certain look, seemingly getting impatient. and he truly was. his heart was racing seeing you, having you, down there about to make him feel incredible, like you never fail to do. you finally pull his boxers down, enough to reveal his hard dick. and goodness was he ready. he shivers a bit at the sudden cold air on his throbbing dick, his rooms floor always extra chilly. he takes a deep breath, seconds before your spit lands on his tip. his breath hitches, eyes shutting for a second, kind of in preparation. you finally begin spreading it, needing to use both hands on his long, slim, dick. he moves his hands, pushing your hair away from your face.
"mmmhm. already doing so good." he mumbles. matt loves making sure you feel safe. like you never have to worry about how good your work truly is. you finally beat your nerves and your lips land around his tip, quickly looking up to see how he reacts. matts always looking at you. no matter what. oral sex, normal sex, all the time. and he will always find a way to. he has countless videos of the two of you on his phone. anyways. a deep breath leaves his lips, one he didnt even know he was holding. you go deeper, gaining confidence. "mm-fuck dont push yourself.. too much.. princess." he breathes out, struggling to even talk.
you keep bobbing your head, your eyes watering as you try not to gag. meanwhile matt's not keeping in his moans. the more you guys do anything, the more vocal he gets. "fuck fuck fuck.. so.. fucking good." he moans, slightly tugging your hair, poorly holding it back at this point. you decide to toughen up and finally take in all of him. "shhhiiiiit baby" he squeezes his eyes shut, thrusting his hips up a bit. "so close." he barely says as you go back up, hallowing your cheeks at his tip. he lets out another porno like moan, his dick starting to do little twitches. he really is close. you guys lock eyes, so he takes it as a sign to lightly face fuck you. he looks so fucking good. he starts lightly thrusting his hips while also guiding your head and you just let him. his moans fill the room, along with the sounds of your mouth on his wet dick while theres spit going down your chin and onto his balls. he starts letting out big, cut off like moans, never looking away from you. "coming princess.." he barely mumbles, before moaning your name as his warm cum spirts into your mouth. you pump him a little as his white liquid fills your mouth, him biting his lip so hard, he might draw blood.
"i swear.. i always think ive felt the best ever and you always prove me wrong the next time." he says, catching his breath as you swallow his cum. you smile in return, shyly wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. "c'mere" he pulls you up after pulling his pants n boxers up. he grabs a random shirt of his off of the ground and wipes your face. "i love you." he whispers, making your smile come back. "i love you." you reply.
â Ë・âŕ¨ŕ§Ë a/n: omg i yap so so so much LMAO. this was so so scary to write.. hope u enjoy aaahhhh. lmk what i can do to make this better tho!! âĄ
#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#Spotify
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I get what you mean, as a (different) ClanGen comic blog creator myself x.x Itâs definitely gotten harder to manage the sort of public responses and interactions when it comes to those kinds of asks. People being rude or parasocial, or outright asking you to tell you the entire future plot over and over again, or jumping to crazy conclusions and not listening, or otherwise not treating you like youâre a living human being with a life behind the screen. The amount of asks Iâve had to delete or ignore (or even fans Iâve had to block) because of how bad the ask culture/âcontent consuming cultureâ/fan interaction has gotten, itâs exhausting. Very very exhausting. Iâm surprised you havenât turned off asks completely, Iâve had to do that multiple times now just to give myself mental health breaks from it all. I love drawing and I love creating so I donât think I could ever stop creating comics, but my god sometimes I really wish I could upload my things to a vacuum where I could just create without ever seeing any of the fan responses to it haha
yeah its rough out here. theres a lot of very positive comments and thoughts directed at comics too, so its certainly not all bad. might be bold to say, but the world is a better place with our stories and i dont think we should ever feel forced to stop sharing them but there is a ratio of negativity thats much higher than we would all like, and i just wanna encourage people who may feel negatively to keep it to themselves unless the author outright asks for critique. and to just re-read or drop the comic if it is so confusing or frustrating
i actually did have the ask box closed for a while, i dont remember how long. it was after firespots betrayal, there was a lot of really upset people and at some point there were over 100 unanswered asks from weeks of build up that i just purged and closed it for a while. i dont mean to threaten to take away things bc i know i enjoy reading insight from creators i like. but sometimes i dont want to deal with it and sadly it IS because people are mean or they talk about my characters in ways that make me feel like im a bad writer or that they hate what i made
#asks#i really deeply prefer to not engage with negative or annoying people#bc when i do put my foot down i feel like im seen as a mean sensitive a-hole who cant take criticism#but when i dont put my foot down#then im not establishing boundaries and âwho are you to expect people to know it annoys youâ#its just very tiresome
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muppet cast for a succession adaptation....
#succession#txt#not very happy about shiv but there r so little female muppets. it was tough....but she does look like shiv doesnt she#alt for shiv could be annie sue. actually. but i feel like she would be more fitting as tabs bc of the hair#but yeah. this was way harder than i thought it would be#i wanted gonzo as roman at the beginning but i ended up with no one to play connor which made me sad. so i had to switch him w rizzo#which is not unfitting but hm...#if i kept roman gonzo id give fozzie to connor then tom rowlf and greg either beaker or walter#beaker is funnier though. but i couldnt sacrifice tom fozzie in the end#and well. gonzo connor with janice willa certainly is very Mr President and First Lady material
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i know chase obviously wins the religious trauma competition but can we please talk about how foreman was not only raised by a deeply religious father, but was most likely raised BAPTIST. no wonder heâs so repressed. the baptist experience is like. youâre in church every sunday listening to a man scream about how love is something that should hurt. you believe in a good, loving god - but to believe, you have to accept that true love is painful. that to be a good person, you must suffer. to love is to endure it, to work mercilessly. youâre not worthy of the love of The Almighty, and you never will be, and that sense of unworthiness is fundamental to having faith. when you sin, you donât just hurt Him, you hurt everyone around you. you make the world worse because you have dared commit the sin of existence â to be human is to be sinful. to be loved is to feel unworthy and pathetic and hopeless. like YEAH no wonder foreman self isolates and is emotionally closed off. he was taught from BIRTH that he is fundamentally unworthy of love, and that in accepting love, he is also accepting that he truly is worthless.
#also#i really cant stress enough to non-americans that foreman being black would seriously have had an impact on his relationship with religion#christian ideals are baked into the way racial justice is thought about in the blm movement of today#christianity is also by and large more significant to black americans than it is to white americans because of this#because race and religion are really intertwined#and idk its not. the MOST important aspect of foremanâs character or anything#but i think itâs a lot harder to Get him if u donât have that cultural knowledge which most americans will inherently understand#also disclaimer im not black. never been to a black church so obviously i cant speak to that experience#however i did go to a baptist school growing up and they REALLY emphasized that i should be ashamed of being alive#obviously this is all me theorizing bc foreman could be some other flavor of protestantism#theyâre all varying levels of traumatic tbh#if he was episcopal he probably was listening to people speaking tongues in church which just. yeah. that also really fucks u up#house md#eric foreman#house md hc#house md headcanon#dr foreman
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man its absolutely crazy how far simple politeness gets you. if you are polite to strangers on the internet who hate your guts 9/10 times they will LISTEN to you and TAKE YOUR POINTS INTO CONSIDERATION????? I've have genuinely very pleasant conversations with people whose worldviews COMPLETELY contradict my own and have come away knowing that they're thinking about what I said and may have even changed the way they think about the issue we discussed. it feels like it shouldn't work but it works almost TOO well. if people feel like you're listening to and considering THEIR opinions and experiences, they'll listen to yours too. it goes both ways!!!!
#listen to my gibberish boy#most of you have probably seen my post about kindness. have had an interesting day talking to people on here#and just. people who would usually be fighting and spitting insults at me are talking to me like I'm a Person#IT WORKS. IT WORKS SO GOOD.#like if someone is saying something like 'nonbinary people give binary trans people a bad rep!!!! and so I hate them!!!!!'#and I go oh yeah I understand how frustrating it is constantly being belittled by people who dont think you deserve to exist#it makes you MAD!!! you have a right to be mad!!!!!! it sucks!!! but your enemy isn't someone who doesn't feel entirely male or female#your enemy is the person who thinks neither of you deserve to exist. I think that infighting makes it harder to stand up for ourselves#as a community and we should stick together.#USUALLY. they will go oh. hey I hadn't thought of it like that. thanks for recognising how frustrating it is. I'll think about that#NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP. this has happened SO MANY TIMES with so many different people and so many different issues#it works so often. and it lets you leave the situation feeling WAY less shitty than you otherwise would#dunno!!! just thinking about it!
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people will see curly being violently dehumanized and will go "oh no! let me do the same in the exact opposite way!"
#i need to get out of the tag man. fandom will do what fandom does even when i think it shouldnt and i will just make myself mad#but yeah maybe im a killjoy for being a bit upset that the complex enabler middle manager is being reduced to mascot Blorbo Of The Monthâ˘ď¸#or idk maybe it is more complex than that even in a meta way. maybe everyone is just coping with what they saw and interpreted differently#... man this game hit me harder than i thought it would. it touched on smth very real#tagging later
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i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerfulâand even thinks it's really funnyâtalking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much
#we had a really wild moment over dinner last week where she actually acknowledged#EXPLICITLY with her OWN WORDS#that things like our brother dying right when i was going into my senior yr of high school#and covid lockdown starting right when i'd graduated college + moved to a new city where i knew no one except her + was applying/auditionin#for jobs#were harder on me than one her in some unique ways#and i was literally like . is. is this a test? am i supposed to deny it?#bc like when our brother died she told me i was a selfish brat (for not grieving the way she did)#and during covid she told me (right after i got laid off) that she had ''way more reasons to be depressed'' than i did#personal#anyway she was laughing so much as she said this (abt not liking me) and i was just staring at her nodding slightly like#yeah. i know. i know you didn't like me#do YOU know how much it sucks to know that your older sister--whom you idolize--who you *desperately* want to like you--#not only doesn't like you at all#but even up into high school/college#would talk about how she couldn't wait till our LITTLE (five year old) cousins were old enough to hang because they'd be so much fun#and know that she had absolutely never thought or said that about you#do you perhaps! think that might still have ramifications on our relationship to this day#if your little sister spent 20+ years knowing that your love was conditional on them being the person you wanted her to be#like. do u???#(the answer is no of course but#i remain boggled by the fact that this eludes her considering she is! in fact! a really smart person!)#it's also like when i was first offered my current job#and our now bosses asked both of us like ''are you worried at all about working with your sister?''#and she laughed like lol no of course not?#while i was like ''honestly yes.'' adskjfglkjasds#very different perspectives sometimes
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Time for more eternal gales isat au, this time featuring Sier as Isabeau, creating a sprite I can never use next to Arisâ because despite my best efforts it would make them look tall
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc#oc art#isat#in stars and time#this one didnât take nearly as long as the aris one but I think I suffered for it more from the clothes alone#siffrin made me forget I suck at drawing clothes rip#this was also harder because of how much trickier it was to try and adapt siers design to feel fitting enough for my standards#they have a very stylized design compared to most of the others#I kind of took the lazy route out by keeping most of their original shapes in tact but itâs fine#sier in this au would serve the needed role of emotionally intelligent bestie who is also too scared to cross boundaries to do much#but despite this I do think theyâd actually get the suspicion quest in this au#mostly because mase is a furry artist not a nerd and sier would be more likely to look at aris and go bro. are you in a fucking timeloop.#it also differs in that aris doesnât yell at sier abt it instead looping before they can finish because she canât handle hearing them be#right on the money about this thing that she thought she was handling perfectly#she doesnât want to fail them she doesnât want them to realize sheâs failed them she doesnât want to be a burden she doesnât want them to#ârealizeâ theyâre better off without her#aris is Incredibly resistant to accepting help on most serious issues because shes convinced that itâs her responsibility to deal with it#by herself and that if she canât then sheâs a failure and worse than useless#I mean in canon eternal gales she literally loses her eye and arm because of that#in this au she just lost them how sif lost his eye but she still has. complexes abt all that.#but yeah sier also differs wildly from isa in many Many other ways as does the rest of the cast from their assigned characters#for sier they rly arenât the jock of the group at all instead being more of the guy who keeps the mood lighthearted at all times lest they#die of stress because the others havenât said anything in a whole 30 seconds#aka theyâre the self assigned peacekeeper who doesnât actually need to constantly keep the peace because no oneâs fighting but they still#feel like they need to so they dance and dance and dance for their friends until they collapse from exhaustion#metaphorically ofc#this is why theyâre both terrified to confront aris when she starts acting a bit fucked up but also why they still do sometimes anyways#they talk abt this a lil bit in their friend quest as they talk abt how they want to change but are scared to
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iâm definitely going very deeply down rabbit holes this week
this morning i saw a math thing and spent a couple hours trying to solve a complex equation and relearning a bunch of stuff i forgot from college to do that
and then i had this idea of something i wanted to figure out about complex numbers and while looking that up had a thought about chemistry and started looking up properties of certain substances and then wrote up a little thing about that
then I went back to the complex number thing and after a couple more hours got back to the point of it and proved that in fact i had found a much harder way to do multiplication
and then i had therapy and afterwards i went to do an exercise for therapy and ended up having a thought about human vision and looked something up and a couple hours later had an 1,100 word write up with some citations, describing how to take advantage of the way human photoreceptors work to improve your night vision when you get out of bed at night (tl;dr use completely red light if you need to turn one on)
and then i came downstairs to have dinner but thinking about food made me think about my weight and so i started thinking about body fat distribution changes from HRT and came up with an interesting math problem based on that, so I was trying to work through that but i needed a whiteboard
so i went upstairs to the whiteboard and started working on that and after a couple hours i realized iâd missed an obvious thing that meant honestly all of the stuff that mattered to the problem was negligible compared to the effect of a separate variable i didnât think to include so that was mostly a waste of time
and then i came downstairs to make dinner but iâm very tired from standing at the whiteboard so iâm just laying down for a bit first
#adhd#adult adhd#basically the complex number thing i noticed was that you could represent multiplication as a change of basis#applied to the vector in the cartesian plane the way we normally graph complex numbers#and i was trying to figure out what the new basis was for a given number youâre multiplying by#and i thought it would be something really simple#but it turned out to be that to multiply it by a + biâ you change the basis from <iâ j>#to <ai/(a^2 + b^2) + bj/(a^2 + b^2)â -bi/(a^2 + b^2) + aj/(a^2 + b^2)>#which like is kinda not nothing but like kinda nothing be like ok that's harder to compute than complex multiplication#oh yeah and itâs undefined for multiplying by 0#so you have to add that in piecemeal
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When Diluc gives his heart to someone and genuinely enters a relationship with them, that's itâthat's it for him. There will never be any other that could hope to replace them, whether they leave him or they pass on.
#hc; diluc#//He might have his fair share of little crushes here & there; rarer still a one night stand or two (hasn't rlly done that since Snezhnaya)#//But once he's actually in a proper relationship with someone; and he ONLY will do so after a certain level of trust/bond has been forged#//Bc once that is settled...he's truly ALL theirs. His heart settles on them; no wavering nor hesitation#//Forever; until he would draw his final breath#//Doesnt matter if their breakup was the messiest fucken shit or amicable; if they died in the most heartrending way or at peace in his arm#//He will love & adore them even still; no matter what sorts of emotional turmoil the feelings put him through/he tries to hide them behind#///They will HAUNT him; unless he may have them again or he meets an untimely demise and joins them#//There are some cases where he will try to pursue them again; but those are very few and far in between#//Anywho; guess who watched H.B aGAIN#//And the fact that some owls are monogamous for life is a big inspo too nkjgnygkj#//Bro reads abt his family's special birds and was like BET#//I CAN DO THAT TOO#//Nah; I'm kidding#//He just takes love VERY seriously. Extremely so. He saw his father pining for his mother to the end of his days#//And thought to himself THAT is how much love I want to have for someone. THAT is the level of loyalty and affection I ought to hold#//It would take an extremely special case for him to waver on this fact; for him to be able to move on from that previous person#//It's exactly WHY it takes so much trust and rapport between them for him to decide to let himself fully fall for someone#//Bc he knows he will NOT get over them so easily; they hold his heart so precariously in their hands#//He would never truly move to retaliate on them if they broke his heart though. Bc even hurt; he would NEVER want to hurt them in turn#//But yeah; bro would take it SO hard. Esp if he sees them move on too quickly for his taste#//Would carry on his day by day; but BOY would he be aching inside. BOY would his eyes ligner and follow where they'd go#//BOY OH BOY would their name grace his lips;like a silent prayer for their wellbeing; a helpless wish for them to have never left his side#//Bro would PI N E; and pin HARD. Harder than he did BEFORE they got together#//Worst part is he wouldn't be as cautious in letting them back in as he ought to be. He might act guarded; but those are Cardboard defense#//He may be sterner and more stoic than everyone who knew him growing up saw him as; but he is still the softhearted loving boy he was then
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thinking about how storious never hesitated in saying zooous and legeiel were his friends
#he loved them so much#and then when luna used them to try to convince storious not to end the world...#they were different but they were bonded#i feel like they all came to terms with losing each other at some point but i feel like storious took their deaths harder than he thought#he knew it was inevitable and that it had to happen but he was left alone after being a part of a trio for thousands of years...#would also note tassel and logos weren't as close of friends- logos died long ago and isaac and storious met not too long before his death#and tassel was on the other side of the war and stood in storious' way in more ways than one and although he does say tassel is a friend#he didn't like how tassel went out as it wasn't very beautiful unlike legeiel's and zooous'#that's a whole other thing that we can analyze in relation to storious feeling slightly conflicted but yeah i think about the megid a lot#umbrella.thoughts#umbrella.reflection#umbrella.posts#kr saber lb#kr lb
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i've been thinking abt if im more interested in graphic design or illustration and honestly i think both
#does this make my life easier or harder who knows#also this won't be like a quick career change bc i would feel liek an absolute imposter......#i didn't draw regularly until last year#but bc it's smth i would like to do until the day i die... i will keep doing it as a hobby at least#also i am interested in visual communication since like i started working at the lab#so 4 or 5byears ago#what is important to me is that information is presented in a way thta is universally understandable#and also accessible#when you read a lot lf scientific articles#you really start to appreciate goos graphs algkslj#like little things count sm#you can't use red and green to indicate things on the same graph bc red green color blindness is so common#we had a professor who had it#so i was constantly reminded alhkdoj#and you have to think abt what the graphs would look like kn the projector screen or printed#in a journal or as a black and white printout#there were a lot lf days when i thought abt that a lot mlre than what i was doing at the lab ahdkjl....#so.....#yeah
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