#but yeah it happened a few years back
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I AM SO. FUCKING. SORRY. OH MY GOD I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A BREAK UP
I’m sorry for your loss :(
lmao it’s fine don’t worry about it :)
i can guarantee you he would have found that hilarious
#ill tell you a story though#immediately after he died i was being hounded by my bank to make an appointment for something that was no urgent#and after dodging it for a bit i came right out and said that i was mourning the loss of my partner#and that i wouldn’t be making the appointment any time soon#and they tried to push but i was rock solid#and at the very end of the conversation the guy goes#’i hope your husband gets better’#LIKE BRUH#sulley answers#but yeah it happened a few years back#im mostly alright now#some bad days#but im doing better :)
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I was wondering, does Fiddleford still have a wife in your Halloween au? And if yes, does she know about him being a vampire?
I've been sitting on this ask for a bit, but I think I should finally answer.
In my AU, Fidds is actually pretty old-- not like ancient or anything, but surely a few centuries?
Anyway, so way back, when he was human, he did have a wife and a kid!! But when he got bit and became a vampire, he actually outlived them :(
He tries to think about them often, but it's definitely one of the things he chooses to erase when he creates the memory gun
#if you were a bored immortal what's the first thing you're doing?#exactly-- wait around until the 1970s to go to a college that happens to be no one's first choice where you get a roomate that you befriend#and after graduating with an engineering degree and waiting a few years you get a call from him while workin in your garage#and he ropes you into coming to live with him to help him with this big project#and then you really DO get roped into his project literally and you're traumatized by the experience so you quit and leave#but y'know it just so happens that you received an invite to a vampire “meeting” that really is just a party#and you don't have a good time but on the way back to your motel you run into this guy that looks a little like your buddy but he's greasie#chubbier just grosser in general-- oh yeah and a werewolf#and then it turns out that your buddy actually managed to fall into the nightmare portal and his brother the werewolf#wants to get him out and he finds out that you helped build it originally#so you get tied in to domestic hijinks with the brother of your friend while you both try to work together to build the portal#and you accidentally fall in love with your friend's twin brother- the werewolf#or well that's what i would do if i was a cursed immortal y'know#cole's answering#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#stan is really only mentioned in the tags they kinda got away from me sorry guys this always happens#werewolf stan pines#vampire fiddleford#gravity falls au#gravity falls halloween au
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Bethesda needs to bring back elder scrolls games taking place over multiple years. I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't think that the Oblivion Crisis and all the Oblivion DLCs happened in 4 months.
And don't get me started on the fact that every event in ESO happens in the same year.
#like I'm sorry but do you know how much shit happens in ESO?#you're telling me that all that happens in the span of one year???#like. dude.#it's literally impossible#bring back arena and daggerfall timelines#arena was a relatively simple game with few side quests and it still takes ten years#idr how long daggerfall takes but I feel like it had a similar timeline where it takes multiple years#and then after that they were like 'oh yeah all the games are going to take less than a year now'#like dude your games are a lot more complex now and have a lot more shit happen. why is it less than a year#anyway uhhh that's what I want for elder scrolls vi. a believable timeline#tesblr#tes#the elder scrolls#elder scrolls#oblivion#elder scrolls online#my other wish for elder scrolls vi is for hilarious npc interactions like Oblivion#give me more npcs talking about random rumors while standing in lava#that shit was hilarious
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man i remember when nevermore first came out i was sad it was so underrated.. but now after all the drama, i wish it had stayed underrated, because a big fanbase (especially one with a lot of minors) ALWAYS brings drama
#not saying red didn't fuck up. they definitely did#but i do think this has been blown way out of proportion#and it seems more of a case of someone making a mistake and then people escalating it#classic case of people jumping the gun and trying to make it into a black-and-white situation#and thinking making mistakes make someone into a horrible irredeemable person.#even though everyone makes mistakes#honestly this is why official fandom discords should start making themselves 18+ or at least 16+ imo. to avoid all of this#anyway im not leaving the fandom. if i had to leave a fandom for every drama blown out of proportion that comes up#then i couldnt be in anything#bro ive been in fandom for years. ive seen this kind of stuff happen plenty of times and its always the same.#it always seems like such a big deal at the time. then a few years later you look back at it and think ''oh yeah this was so dumb''#honestly this is more of the norm than the exception. which is also why i think the drama is so tiring#im just currently taking a break from it for unrelated reasons (currently not hyperfixating on it. will come back when hyperfixation return#nevermore#webcomic#nevermore webtoon#i just hope the comic doesnt go under because of this#best case scenario the fandom gets smaller and hopefully less toxic
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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I know this is beating a dead horse at this point, but I just started thinking about this the other day and...
How many people that were previously enemies has Sonic ACTUALLY befriended?
Like my knowledge of some old games and the handhelds ain't great, but...
There was Knuckles, who I think is the only one in the classic era.
He never really befriended Gamma in SA1, just left him to Amy.
Also he didn't befriend Chaos, just beat the anger out of him.
The next one was Shadow in SA2, although they're still kinda rivals?
I don't think Rouge counts in SA2 since she wasn't really an enemy of Sonic specifically, even in Heroes it's really Sonic and Shadow that start the fight.
Gemerl is a robot who was reprogrammed to be friendly, I wouldn't count that as "befriending someone".
Him and Jet are rivals in every Riders game, this never changes.
Blaze in Rush is someone that fought him and they became friends, so it's clear cut, she counts.
Silver in '06 does as well.
Do we count Shade from Chronicles? I think she had a boss fight. I know very little about that game but it's not canon, right?
Merlina is kinda a grey area? Like they were friends, he stopped her evil plans and was still nice to her. I don't know if in context that meets the criteria.
On top of that I don't think the Knights of the Round Table count. Sonic is there to take the swords and they work together at the end. I don't think there's any hard feelings, but don't know if this counts as "friends".
Sage could be the next example, but she's still loyal to Eggman. I don't think what they briefly shared was friendship as much as Sage wanting to save Eggman.
I haven't played Superstars but Trip doesn't even have a bossfight, does she? I don't think she counts.
Not looking at the method, just purely if they became friends down the line. Out of all of those, there's 4 total (if you count Shadow, which I do) with 1 it's complicated and 1 non-canon. That's very few when you consider how large the game cast is.
An overwhelming majority of his friends weren't ever hostile with him to begin with, like the Chaotix, Amy, Tails, Cream, Emerl, Big, ect. There's plenty of other cast members that are still have him on their shit list, like Eggman, Infinite (if he's alive), Fang, Metal, Eggman Nega, the Deadly Six...
Now I'm starting to wonder where this idea of it being a frequent even came from.
#i still don't read the comic anymore but it's kinda hard to not see anything about it in the sonic fandom#anyways yeah that's my ramblings on the subject#a weird aspect to latch onto when it's only happened a few times#and the last definitive one was 18 years ago#and again not looking too hard at the context of those situations in this post i already know the comic misrepresents them#because aside from blaze sonic never instigated those friendships#he's a go with the flow kinda guy so he'll match your energy#you come at him aggressive and he'll be aggressive back#but also if you're friendly he'll be friendly kinda thing#anti idw sonic#idw sonic#fans don't look#hopefully that covers the tag blocking list#and people properly filter because i don't want to leave the idw tag out#in case anyone is just trying to steer clear of anything idw
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on one hand never trust how you feel about yourself as a person after the sun goes down, especially if you have a known pattern of catastrophizing your own behavior into you somehow being a secretly evil Bad Person. on the other hand night time is when i do my best introspection
#this post was brought to you by the realization that even though i want to be and like being a person that ppl can turn to when they need it#that i also don’t really like being Depended On#i care about my friends especially the ones who are still in high school#but it’s also scary to me when i feel like they Rely on me for friendship or connection.#like no. i should be peripheral to your life.#they should have people other than a mildly flaky 18 year old who hides when it gets hard and who they only see every few months at best#even back in junior high. i had a friend who was older than me but a grade below who called me ‘mom’ as a joke#but then it stopped feeling like a joke and i didn’t know how to re-establish that distance#oh yeah this is also a thing that happens at night btw. we start oversharinggg
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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tumblr is an absolutely garbage platform for long-term archiving
A lottttt of witchblr masterposts are filled with dead links. Old posts with content under the "read more" break are inaccessible because only the visible content is preserved. Tumblr's internal search features are horribly broken, making going through blogs a nightmare unless the post is tagged.
If you find content on this platform that you want to save, like a masterpost with a bunch of links, I highly recommend you reblog each post in its entirety. Maybe queue it or post it to a purely archival blog if you don't want to spam people.
If you find content that looks cool and you want to save it, you best do it right then with the understanding that if that content is not 100% stored to your own blog, you might never see it again.
#there is a lot lot lot lot of content going back 5+ years that is now simply lost#for example never trust my blog to stay around#i've fully built up 2 resource blogs over multiple years and deleted both of them out of the blue#more than likely thats what will happen to this one in a few years#don't say 'oh i can't reblog this unless i already have a developed tag system' because that content might not be there once you're ready#just yeah you gotta be your own archivist
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Just speed consumed all of addison lee very much enjoyed I am waiting with my popcorn for next chapter! I did have a wonder while reading, what is Wriothesley's scope of vision? Is it like this needs to be 3 inches in front of his face? Can he see faces clearly if he's close enough? Loving the fic, keep writing!
The short answer is:
No matter how close he gets, it's still gonna be unclear. It's not quite like myopia/short-sightedness where the blurriness can change with glasses/distance. His vision is more like looking through foggy glass. If something is pressed right up to the glass, you can see it more clearly, but it will still be foggy. Additionally, the guy has always been red/green colour-blind, so that doesn't change even after his war injuries, but because his vision is worse in general, he can barely tell colours apart lol. Unless it's bright blue.
LONG ANSWER UNDER THE CUT.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA HEHEHHHEHEHHE WHUAGHAHA sorry. I like to infodump about my fics.
Not kidding when say this: I have a document that have notes on every single year in the 10 years between the Celestia war and current INGITAL events.
Unfortunately this was all planned before Sigewinne release, so I didn't have her canon birthday (AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT CANON ANY MORE I'm burying my head in the sand.) but it accounts for every year that Sigewinne grew up and some other random lore bits. "What does this have to do with my question?" you ask. Well, I have the 10-years progression notes specifically to keep their life events in order and Wriothesley's and Neuvillette's healing progress consistent KJNDSKJNSANSKJHASDJNJSNDKJNASJNDSAJNKSAKJ.
SO. Detailed answer is this:
At this point in INGITAL, if you stand 1-2 meters away from him and wave, he's gonna notice if he's looking at you, paying attention, and you're both indoors, or he's wearing sunnies. He's not gonna be able to recognise anything, though, he can just tell something is moving. He can sort of read regular text on a computer screen at about 2-3 inches (on a good day) using his better eye (left, so he always sorta lean that way when he's trying to look at something), but it's a struggle and he'd rather not do it. His right is worse.
There's also his field of vision. So like, his peripherals are pretty much gone, and he has some dark patches/blind spots. He's also light-sensitive, so everything's kinda painfully bright sometimes, but his vision is also bad in the dark, so he needs a happy medium, but that can shift from day to day.
Very rough idea of what Neuvillette might look like to him on a sunny day. Veeery rough idea. I'm not blind I just researched a lot.
And then, regardless of what he can actually physically see, if his eyes hurt or feel too sensitive to keep open, it's all moot anyway. And once again, usually that depends on the day.
When Sigewinne was born, he had functionally decent vision in one eye (had a corneal transplant on his right). Legally can't get his driving licence, but y'know, he still felt confident enough to drive (Neuvillette did not let him, though.) The transplanted eye deteriorates over Sigewinne's first few months, and so did his better eye. He got another surgery for his left eye (the better one) when Sigewinne was about one, and that lasted for a bit, but by the time she's two, he's pretty much considered legally blind. By the time she's four, he does most things on his own and his other issues are managed as well, which is why they decided to have a second kid, and they had Carole when Sigewinne was 5. But Neuvillette struggled a bit with that second pregnancy. I mean, his first wasn't exactly rose and rainbows, but he his mental health nose-dived with the second one for a while. It's because he's been so focused on keeping it together while Wriothesley recovers that he hasn't fully dealt with his own trauma until his second pregnancy. Because yeah, thinking your husband died while you're carrying your first baby was traumatic. They've both got PTSD. By the time Sedene comes about though, they're all good. Sedene's pregnancy was a breeze, there was just Covid lockdowns HAHAHAHA. And then, if I go through with another pregnancy at the end of INGITAL, well... That's for me to know and for you to ponder.
[By the way, Clorinde mentioned going over to their house for Wrio's birthday 8 years ago in Chapter 9, which is when Sigewinne was 3 and he was 28. His previous birthday (his 27th) was a disaster. Had a big fight with his husband. So that's another morsel of lore from the 10-years-of-plot document.]
There's a scene planned somewhere in all this, where Neuvillette shows him some of their photos on one of the days when his vision is better. Photos of eeeeveryone their kids and their friends and all. He printed them out and edited them to raise the contrast so Wriothesley can see it more easily. Wriothesley voice: Ajax is fucking ginger? [This is lore relevant. No spoilers though.]
#ingital#do not talk to me about my fics im not normal /j#....................................... PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT MY FICS#krill#ask#wriothesley#neuvilette#the amount of one-shots i can do from the 10 year document. scratching my head indeed. why am i like this#YES their claw machine adventures are also noted in there.#wriothesley considers himself lucky though. like genuinely. he's happy that his vision held out long enough for him to take care of neuv#in his last few weeks carrying sigewinne. And then he was able to handle things for the first month of her baby life while Neuv recovers#he even pushed back his PTSD to focus on sige. but yeah. Once things started to settle tho. everything went wrong JKLNSDKLJNAJSNJKNSD#because trauma has a habit of only unleashing when you're in a safe enough position to deal with it. yknow.#also why neuv's separation anxiety and his mental illness peaked during his pregnancy with Carole. bc he's safe he lets his walls down#wriothesley also struggled with like. bad agoraphobia. I think I mentioned him being unable to leave the house for a while#was rough#but everything is fine in the end! because life happens but it can still be a happy life#telling myself this every damn day man its how i survive HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. FUCK ME.#neuvillette
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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I'll be so doomed the day I ever get a girl f/o
#pan rambles#I say doomed in like. a positive way. In a “I'd get way too flustered” way#I haven't really talked about it here because I don't feel like I owe it to people to talk about my attraction and the complexities of it#But I'll talk about it a bit bc I just need to ramble#I'm 99% I'm Aro. At the very least some flavor of it. I don't care about finding a specific label- I've spent many years stressing about it#And I don't really feel like spending even more years stressing about it#Despite being aro- I like the idea of being in a romantic relationship one day#Even if I know it'll probably never happen#Not only am I perfectly content with my QPR rn but also because I don't think most people would be open to the idea of dating an Aro#Which hey! Is completely fair! I know the love I feel is different than what I think most people feel#Though I'd argue that even if it's not exactly the same type- It's still plenty strong.When I love my friends it's a strong feeling#I'd do anything for my friends and I love them so much that I'd literally do anything to see them happy! The love I feel for them is strong#But it's not. Romantic y'know? Augh I'm getting distracted!#Back to my initial point!!! I can't tell if I like girls or not!#I'm not exactly in a safe place irl to try to experiment with those feelings so I've been pushing it aside for so long!#But I think there's definitely a chance I like girls in the same Aro™ way that I like guys!#I'm not gonna try to find a label for it because I don't want to label it but yeah#There's definitely a few crushes and f/os that I've headcanoned as Transfem before#But I've never romantically f/od a girl#Afksnfksnfkskd Ok yeah that's enough of Panchi rambling for tonight!#I just needed to let that out!#Thank you to anyone who listened to my Rambling about Attraction and stuff-
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The Great Gatsby (1974) au where Gatsby doesn't die and instead Nick takes on the no-paying job of trying to get Jay to move on from Daisy.
Bad ending is Gatsby never does & he and the Buchanans become a never-ending shitshow. Good ending is Jay moves on. Super special bonus ending is Jay and Nick fall in love (toxicity optional)
#I specified the movie because I havent read the book so idk Book Nick or Book Jay I havent met them#the great gatsby#the great gatsby 1974#the great gatsby (1974)#My favorite idea is a mix of the Good and Super Special Bonus endings#Where Gatsby moves on and spends a good few years learning to be a normal fucking human being#(ft Nick being a supportive friend (but also getting back to being normal after his summer of bullshit))#(and Jay figuring out how to have normal fucking relationships means he visits his dad in person more often :'3 )#anyway after 5 years or so Jay falls in love with Nick in a way that is Healthy and Not Obsessive#and the two of them become a Normal Healthy couple#which is of course difficult because. time period#but I like to imagine that Jay's dad is happy about it :']#also. assuming Jay doesnt go to jail for Crime. he's got enough money to basically deal with any problem#(if i had a nickel for every time i shipped a blond x brown-hair gay couple from the Great Depression i'd have two nickels)#(which isnt many but it's strange it's happened twice)#Also yeah I know this au of mine is Boring. dw I don't think toxic romance stories are Horrible or that fiction has model ideal behavior#I just personally find joy in imagining mundane healing stories :'))#jay gatsby#nick carraway#my words
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I cannot wait to go back to college, LEMMIE GOOOOO
#when i got my current job my mom was talking about how happy she was for me. and the possibility that im gonna stay#which. unfortunately. that's nooooot gonna happen#heck even the staff said it'd go till September. im not gonna BE here in September. im gonna be down in college#like. yeah sure i could just pick a career but i also dont wanna?#as nice as it is to scooter around 4 am in the morning i dont wanna spend the next few years waking up at 3 am#this is not exactly what i want my life to be like. im more meant to stay up late than get up early#too bad there wasnt any graveyard jobs#like ik stuff might happen in the future and things will change but rn i just wanna be back in college#im only doing this for college money#the cake doth speak#working at a gas station is fun. but i dont think i was made to be standing up and walking around for 8 hours
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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