#but uh. we got some other things
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7 from the February Nosebleed Club prompts for Jo/Eganđ€ - @lostloveletters
7. "pinky," Bucky Egan/war correspondent OC. @mercurygray or @basilone didn't know they were collaborating with me on this but they did:)
If sheâs keeping count, this is the second time Bucky Egan has acquainted his fist with someoneâs face on her behalf.Â
That she knows of. If sheâs keeping count.
Someone. William. Her William. Was. If heâs anyoneâs William heâs not hers anymore, as he stumbles back, his fingers grasping at the worn, smooth wood of the bar. Rubbing his jaw as it makes a noise that curdles her stomach. He tries to hit back but heâs too stunned, too fuzzy from the beer, and Bucky just leans back and lets him miss.
His shoulders slope towards her like an aside, as he demonstrates with his hand. Behind them, the publican starts making noises, about the lack of respect, the threat of throwing them all out. Itâs all true. Sheâs seized by a sudden flight in her feet, but heâs standing here next to her, and she doesnât move. âSee, just like I told you, gotta keep the thumb in like this-â
William runs his tongue over his teeth, his voice ragged and angry and different. âJo.âÂ
She opens her mouth to speak â to say, she doesnât know what â but all John does is stand between them, the threat of more should someone dare try, the blood rushing in her ears.
The woman William had been chatting up â the one in the blue dress â the one whose name she does or doesnât know â is gone.Â
And he leaves. Turns and leaves like a coward before sheâs had the chance to throw the ring in his face. Not that she's one for that kind of display, but considering that her companion, tall enough that he has to watch his head for the beams, had just been moved to fisticuffs completely sober, well-
It all sounds different now, in her voice. Breaking, light. âJohn.â
âYou alright, Captain?â he says, before he catches himself, realizes what sheâs just called him. Sheâs not a captain tonight anyway, and maybe thatâs one in her army of mistakes. Her trousers, her blouse, the medallion beneath the neckline. She wears it now instead of keeping it safe.
Is it raining outside? It smells like it will, or did, when she pushes through the door, the air thick and almost warm. He follows her out, the bike or two parked outside and a jeep. Around the side of the pub, a quiet path.
âJo.â
What is she supposed to say? William doesnât think she deserves to be here. William doesnât think anything she writes is any better than anything any man with a byline could spit up. And sheâd agreed to marry him. Sheâd thought that was ok.Â
And John-
The day theyâd come back from the scrapped mission, the one sheâd been allowed to observe. Observe. A miracle she can hardly still believe, in more ways than one. Dumb luck, more like. It still sets her heart racing, if she thinks too hard about it.Â
The ground beneath their feet again, and her knees knocking together and her ankles, the relief. The scarf damp against her collarbone. I knew youâd get up there, heâd said. You donât let us tell you no. Mention how good I looked flying past you nâ Buck, alright?
Like it wasnât a question.Â
âJo, tell me you donât think heâs got the right to do that to you.â Sheâs frozen, like something could wind back what just happened. Her eyes fill with tears. He sees them, she knows he does. Sheâs still wearing the goddamn ring. She shakes her head, the smallest noise.
"What do you want, Jo, huh?â The question moves through his whole body, his arms, his hands. He means it, every word. You want me to find him and hurt him? Iâll do it. You want me to go kill a guy, Iâll go kill a guy. I do it all the time, itâs easy. âWhat do you want?"Â
You.
Itâs a shock in her chest, for the times sheâs thought it before. Like a match lighting in a dark room.
Quieter now, his eyes trained on her. âWhat do you want?â
âYou to kiss me.â
He stops. Only a second, trying to see her in the dark-dusk, against the trees and the tangled hedges, the last slivers of fading light.Â
Sheâs looking up at him, watching him, before he stoops, so close that she can feel the curls against his forehead. A breath, that shaking pause, before he presses his lips against hers. Seeking her. He doesnât taste like the beer he hasnât drank, only toothpaste and the smell of aftershave, and warmth, and a little sweat.Â
Her top lip in both of his, her hands at his jacket, her fists balled like sheâll drown.
âEasy there,â he says, the words dancing with a laugh, the complete absence of meaning it. She canât help it, the stupid grin on her face, his hand cupping her jaw, his thumb on her cheek. The way he doesnât stop kissing her.
The smallest stuttered noise in the back of his throat, the kind she feels in her hips. God-
âJohn-â
âSay that again.â
She whacks her palm lightly against his shoulder, pulls it back slow as his tongue catches at her front teeth. âWonât push my luck on a Bucky, then-â
âSince when-â she says, and he wants to laugh again, how breathless she sounds. Heâs here, heâs here, for how long, for how long- âSince when donât you push your luck-â
He smiles against her mouth. The noise of people leaving the pub, or coming in. She straightens up, but he doesnât pull all the way back. âIf thatâs all it took to get you to smile-" The back of his neck is warm under her hands, the short hair. Heâs a little breathless too, the kind that stops her heart. âAm I better?â
Her lips press the soft spot against the side of his mouth, so firm she feels the gums beneath. âWhat do you think, Major?â
Heâs beaming, here in the dark. âI think I like it when you call me Major.â
âDo you, now?â
âOr John.â He presses his thumb against her chin, her bottom lip.
âOr Bucky.â
Soft against her ear, his voice. âOr Bucky.â
#masters of the air oc#mota oc#bucky egan x oc#lostloveletters#battie i'm so sorry we did not get any pinkys actually#but uh. we got some other things#shoshi writes#jo's tag#motaverse#1k ?????#i know there are typos and i'll find them once it's posted#blame this show for giving me not one but two bucky kiss scenes to rewatch#officer i've never seen this woman before in my life. etc.#thank you battie for letting me go a little ....this#posting before i can start tearing it apart
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My commissions are open!!
I really hate pulling out the labels card for help; but if you could help at least spread this so two transwomen and a disabled transmasc (me) can afford rent, food, gas, and to pay off whatever extra nonsense a few ER visits this past 1-2months has stacked up because one of our insurances is acting dumb. One is between jobs, another is trying to find a better paying one that will give her more hours, and I'm too disabled to work. We're doing all we can, but we need a bit of help.
So let me do art for you about it! You can find all my information on my carrd and here on my tumblr . You can find all my art and more examples on my blog or on my instagram . If you have any questions, please feel free to email me and I'll get back to you asap.
Thank you so much <3!!
#artdemra#commissions are open#even just rbing will help a ton#i know the image is =w=;;; pathetic#i tried for several hours to do those nice spreadsheets people do with the prices on them with the images next to them#but everything i did looked bad or was just an absolute mess#id comm someone to do a nice formatting/layout for me but uH AHAHA B R O K E#ive also got some other things coming up but i didnt list them out bc i hate listing every tiny detail online ;n;#but stuff is rough rn and were just trying to live. i know our electricity is gonna be high bc its been 85-90 F out AGAIN#for several weeks and we are on the third floor so we literally cannot live without the ac running all day
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something he can't put into words.
#ANOTHER DAIGO POST!!!! <333#also sorry for being like teehee yaoi dojima anyway daigo can't/probably shouldn't be close to his bio dad and latched onto this random#20 year old but Doesnt Quite recognize what is so wrong about sohei and so right about kiryu and how he should feel about either#meaning he cant fulfill his true desire (baby duck around kamurocho with his babysitter who's probably got better things to do bc people#always have better things to do than take care of him but at least kiryu pretends he enjoys it#for hours and hours and hours. some of the others ask him how he is or what he's up to at school but they don't really reach him like kiryu#does. he wants to impress him soooo bad. aughhh baby daigo you're annoying but you're also so emotionally neglected#haha latching onto mentors bc they're more involved/easier to connect to than parents haha who would do that not me ahem uh anyway#(skrunks be normal about and not project onto a kiryu + child dynamic challenge: impossible)#anyway he can't just say sohei's his father bc he's a big crime daddy but he hasn't really.. accepted? whats going on with kiryu yet either#i dont think he knows kiryu's his dad is my point#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza#dojima daigo#like a dragon#daigo dojima#ykz#i accidentally saved over soo many versions of this so i had to be like fuck it we ball. thats the final version of that panel now#gonna schedule this for later today bc i dont wanna stifle the kazumi posts but i also uh. am impatient#anyway more little daigo content he's such an ass but it makes so much sense why he's like that and he deserves a whole lotta love#also i just realized i used different name orders for kiryu and yayoi... sorry idk im just incapable of writing kazuma kiryu#uhOOPS POSTED IT EARLY NVM#yer gettin a loootta skrunk content today ig#skrunkart
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i have a wild thought that iâm just throwing here so that yâall can do whatever you want with it
yâknow how current blue team has two members working for the eye? forever, infected with the virus, and elquackity?and how they both were in the same team at the start?
what if the team they are in isnât the cursed one but whoever the other team competing against them is? because if the team they are in wins and âsavesâ the eggs, they can kill them at the eyeâs command? what if red is the cursed team solely because red losing ensures the team with the traitors having the lives of the eggs in their hands?
#qsmp#before anyone attacks me i love qforever with my whole heart#but seeing what the virus was doing to the worker scared me#and then thereâs the whole judas thing iâm not fully caught up on#i could be insanly wrong because iâm also not caught up on elquackity lore so please correct me if i got something horribly wrong#insanely*#also i will say though: the fact that the winning team can only choose some eggs to save waters this whole thought so uh#take it as you will#other than this i donât believe in the cursed team thing#we have like no clues#all the clues we have can apply to so many teams itâs impossible to figure out#shey rambles
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. tasteâ biasâ lore-knowledgeâ differing levels of chronic-online-nessâ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i saidâ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneckâą stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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anyway. ardbear and bear of light
#we were given plain white paper notebooks and i got a gel pen and it was us three against the world (this seminar on teamwork)#i've never been very comfortable drawing with pens but i like some of the other doodles i did too because they were in pen#so they looked Crispy#drew my coworkers/'hands and shoes a bunch too which everyone enjoyed immensely which was slightly surreal#though not unwelcome just strange haha back in school my doodling was very much like a uh#sky is blue water is wet ghosts is drawing sort of a thing#anyway i did paint for realsies too i just need my ipad for touchups#i draw sometimes#sketch#fanart#i can't draw bravura from memory. fake warrior main.#Ardbert#warrior of light
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note to self: post more alex closet cosplays when i need a pick me up/ego boost.
thank you to everyone for being so nice to me đ„č
#this wasn't even the planned photoshoot for later!#anyway some things i wanted to say#1) i'm not single sorry folks#also fun fact like right when i got back on tumblr after a break for my wedding was when we had the surprise miles 505 in london#2) i cannot take credit for anything about matching al's body language bc i really do just stand like that ksdjflsk#3) for real my posture is Not Good and there are frankly some hilarious candids of me that are just the exact same mannerisms#4) i personally think it helps with the resemblence with that i'm short and have a very uh androgynous body shape? similar proportions#which was not on purpose i assure you#there's a really funny couple pics i sent to blacktrickle the other day just like IS THAT WHAT I LOOK LIKE FROM THE BACK? bc it was Him#5) gonna do like a bunch of eycte outfits in one post one day
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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever đ
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags đ#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. âi cant spare the energy to vett thingsâ#other people are fucking dying and im over here like ânoo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwedâ#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those âhold in there dont kill yourselvesâ posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of âok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselvesâ and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause âi dont know howâ and âi dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anythingâ so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#âoh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(â ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause âthe world is scary and jobs are hard :(â#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway âunableâ to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going ânooo i should just kill myself insteadâ#vent post
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The live action commercial celebrating the release of JJK VOL 27. Is so đ!!!
#Takaba wouldâve been a great teacher skskskkskssl#rambling#I wished he and Gojo got to meet each other đ they coulda been friends whaaaa#maybe they did in the bg idk uh#missed opportunities to see two sillies interacting with each other#and Iâm always crumbling at the canon fact that Takaba is one of the few sorcerers who has the ability to disrupt Gojo if they ever fought#fr sksjsjs#and after the whole Takaba vs kenjaku thing well it definitely solidified that fact Takaba would probably win off of pure shenanigans and#Gojo would be having sm fun đ„ș#is there any art of them togetherâŠ#Gojo and Takaba shouldâve been friends for at least one chapter but we got Kenny Takaba BL instead but itâs okay#and Gojo was already dead at this point but still đ”âđ«#gege didnât put them in the same room with each other because he knew how powerful the aura would be đŹ#Takaba is definitely very much a natural enemy to other sorcerers idk how his ct would work on Sukuna but if it can work on Gojo than def#anybody else regardless#but thatâs Sukuna gonna reverse it talm bout some âah⊠I havenât used my anti Takaba ct since the heian periodâŠâ đż#the type of shit gege be writing
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everybody who went to a private catholic school name the craziest personal belief an instructor lectured the class on.
i'll go first: mentally disabled people are free of original sin, just like animals, so they get a free pass to heaven
#bonus points if the lecture was not-so-subtly referencing you specifically#ye i was the only super obviously autistic kid in my class since we did not have special ed classes or accommodations of any kind#and yes this teacher did seem to believe that i fell into the category of 'mentally disabled people who are like animals'#oddly enough this kind of made me her favorite student#she was really big on infantilizing ppl who were a certain level of mentally disabled#and yeah i guess dehumanizing too#except like how people says 'all doggos are good boys'#and even if a dog bites someone you can't like claim that dogs know the difference between good or evil#so it's not like...a fucking sin or something#so yeah she did openly express this stuff in class#i can't remember her explanation for mentally disabled ppl being free of original sin#but it was like tied in with the whole 'tree of knowledge' thing#and how not having that knowledge/sin is what makes us like innocent and dumb#got compared to a dog and also a lamb. not directly. like she did not call me out by name#but the entire class was super uncomfy because it was really obvious she was indirectly talking about me#at the time i was also like 'huh that explains some of her behavior around me'#and also thought it was hilarious that i got a free pass to heaven in her mind#also thought it was funny that she thought i was mentally disabled#because at this point i just thought i was a deeply weird person being mistaken for a mentally disabled person#but uh nope. i was like. really autistic. like lots of classic negative shit too like biting other kids and self-harmful stims and stuff
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Still normal donât even worry about it (Patreon)
#Doodles#ADHD#I was Very nice to my fixation - when it was fixated on the thing I wanted it to be lol#Honestly I wasn't even that mean about the two (2!!) other things it wanted to brain-focus on#Mad about it but in that dopamine way lol#''Can we please get dopamine from this thing and not those other things? Please'' ''Lol''#That is not an answer!#It is honestly still really interesting data :0#I've still never successfully forced a fixation but this is at least the second time I've continued a falling fixation#I wonder what the through-line is hahaha <knows the through-line#I was actually very resistant to fixating on the other things because my pride got in the way again lol#To the point where I didn't even write them down until recently pffft yeah that's how that works#''If I don't write them down then they don't count'' Uh Huh#Even if there are Some similarities to the last time I forcefully refixated there are still enough differences to make for interesting data#Like how the last time I had three in conflict did Not go well it was very rough on my brain - but this time was nice :D#Probably helps that the two-pair were kinda-sort from the same source so really I guess it Could be argued that it was just two in conflict#But I'm not counting it that way and since it's my brain and I make the rules that's what matters lol#The next set is one of the fixations you all saw the TV Guide for this week it's fine lol#The other - it's another video game but hmmm I might see about making fanart if/when I actually get to play it myself#It's very silly so I'm gonna hold onto it for a bit longer haha
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Actually made a drabble this time
Summary says all, haha
If you need a bit of context, Professor Plotfur is a character from the Thea Stilton Mouseford Academy books, as part of the school's new Performing Arts department :3
#thea stilton#thea sisters#geronimo stilton#ao3 fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#as someone who studied in a theater class for one year in a country that isn't the philippines#it's a whole different breed#like back home they'd just like warm up your voice or whatever and have you read lines and stuff#I didn't know you get to play goofy games and do try not to laugh challenges#i would say that the âhayop kaâ gambit is also a common thing practiced in filipino theater but uh#the school i studied a bit of theater in in ph was a sheltered white boi Christian school that had the crappiest extracurricular system#you literally have to do a raffle to get into a mandatory saturday class#if you got uhhhh an animation class that's literally a scam because it just shows you how to make a site with html then too bad#rinse and repeat for all three semesters#so I got into drama twice out of sheer rng and we didn't even get to scream obscenities about how some imaginary dood cheated on us#we did like one christian play and then one where I had to play some girl just getting out of the shower all horny-like#it was weird I had no practice time and no room for improvement because i only had that drama class for one semester#basically it was wack#i dunno if it's the same in other schools but in my school back then it was wack#then I moved to a first world country got into a drama class for my whole last year of senior high and man#I done got scammed /j
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a wild flavor of tumblr user is a certain kind of white American self idâd leftist or commie who reblogs and posts things about I just think all liberals and centrists should DIE (*guillotine* meme) and then posts things needing to be nicer to demographics that vote 80% Republican and are very systemically involved in the structural and practical oppression of people of color and the whole US hegemony like brooo I get having a seriously messy relationship with your own cultural background but who are you talking about? Guillotining everyone at mawmawâs thanksgiving?
#My mom was bitter about white middle American farmers and like it made me kind of âŠ..#but also they do fucking vote 70-80% Republican and horrifically abuse the millions of undocumented laborers who run the system#But I see this kind of thing with a lot of white working class American groups#Itâs not an argument against empathy we any group we all need more empathy#Itâs that a) I think white Americans who got into leftism by themselves often end up#In this violence-centric ideas of reform that are still intensely conservative and culturally Christian#Like bro you just want to kill everyone to make a better shiny world of good people bro#And b) they have exceedingly little empathy with why people from any other background might have family or complex relationships#To conservative ideology#The white leftist culturally xtian relationship to many diasporic groups etc#Idk itâs interestingâŠâŠ#Also like Iâm not letting anyone off the hook but uh some of the language that gets pulled up in these talks#Can be a weird reflection of Fox News rhetoric#The Real WorkinG Class (from predominantly white and rural areas)#Versus the Coastal *Liberals* and *urban people* at fault for income inequality#Or the death of American working class leftism or something#Like blaming that specifically on California and New York and or some of the areas with the highest proportions of people of color and Jews#Itâs just like hmmmmm sussssss to me
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holy FUCK IA's voisona 2.0 is OUT
#sorry this is just a 3 second made solfege with all auto tuning i just got the update downloaded LOL#am i insane. was i just not paying enough attention to their twitters or was this like shadow dropped#i mean we knew it would come someday but i think i forgot that like#voisona seems to do this with their 2.0s. they barely build any hype they just give em to you LOL#girl so much is happening rn. ia and one 2.0..... takuto's voicevox bank was finally announced.......#i have so many things i want to draw celebration doodles of. so many.#also this is unrelated but downloaded ia's 2.0 made me realize i was like three or so versions behind in voisona#because i like never update things in general and also i didnt realize they had updated so much#BUT holy shit. they added so much stuff so many presets and fun little bits BUT SPECIFICALLY#the tune parameter... that changes how much autopitch it has.... holy shit#now you can make a full pitchsnapping thing.... or you can have a blank slate when doing ur own tuning.... awesome#the husky parametre is still a little strange tho. its uh. so in cevio its basically just breathiness#but in voisona is like. tense and kinda. wet? you can get a but of subtle breathiness but mostly it just sounds like theyre hissing#like a cat. which can be good. but i abuse breathiness and tension in other software so i would love some parametres akin to that#although you can get some of that through the presets in the properties at least#so i would love some easier ways to play around with softness and breathiness. you can kind of fudge it with volume but its tough#but impromptu voisona editor 1.11 first impressions review aside im so excited#i neeeeeed to plug in as many covers as i can right NOW just to hear her voice AUUUUUUUHHHHHHH#unfollow me now this will be the only thing i talk about for the next week etc etc#edit: like immediately after I posted this i went back on twitter to double check something and then saw the new#cfm news. jesus christ today has been crazy for vocal synths truly
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So you choose not to step through the door, after all why mess with nonsense when you're already in nonsense? You check the items in your pockets, your phone you shut off to conserve power, the dog tag, key and top clink together but offer no help, and when you fiddle with the walkie-talkie you manage to get it to turn on, excitedly you call out to the void but only static responds, which is disappointing but predictable, so you put the items away and hunker down for the night, looking at the sky you can see that the stars seem strange, though you're no expert, and the moon seems to have a second smaller moon near it which looks pretty cool but is a stark reminder of how not on your own world your predicament has landed you.
In the morning you begin looking through the nearby bushes and plant life taking note of anything strange, you notice the berries you had been picking before you stepped through the door are also growing around here, they look and taste the same, and some other plants seem pretty similar to the forest from before as well, although the further away from the door you go the more unfamiliar plants you come across (of course that may just be your lack of familiarity with plants) and the few animals you have noticed are bizarre in a way that you can't explain, like the people from town, they seem almost perfectly familiar, just a little off and the noises they make have you thinking they wouldn't be able to communicate with their counterparts either, brushing aside another branch you come across a strange funnel made of metal which you pocket and what looks to be a regular whistle, you wipe it down and blow but hear nothing aside from the air going through, you consider it is either broken or maybe a dog whistle, as you go to put it away you hear something big running in your direction, before you can decide how to react a large creature storms out of the bushes and stops in the clearing before you, it's huge as a horse with paws and sharp teeth it licks as it looks around and spots you, it shakes its head again reminding you of a horse, then steps closer before turning and staring expectantly, you get the feeling it's waiting on you, impatiently, and you realize it seems to expect you to get on its back. Do you get on?
Yes.
#I am a terrible terrible Irish child#Clearly all those folk tales whose only moral was âdonât climb on the strange horseâ were lost on me. Technically not a horse though. So. H#Uh please donât run into the bog with my on your back strange horse thing.#âŠThis may be one of my worse ideas#On one hand moving away from what appears to be the only connection my world doesnât sound like a great idea#Back through the door is logically the the best bet. However Iâve already explored the area#The only thing to do would be to just sit there for hours and that will get me nowhere. The things that do have leads like the walkie-#Sputtering are things to pay attention to but not things that are likely to change if I donât move. The whistle is the newest thing-#And letâs be real Iâve been in the bramble for like 14 hours without the neurospicy meds I am teetering on dangerously antsy#Probably better to get on the horse before I come up with something more stupid#Itâs interesting my world flora seems to surround the door. I wish Iâd payed more attention before I stepped through#If the nearby flora on the other side seemed like it would come from this world it would suggest that the door just leaks between universes#In two ways. If itâs earths flora then itâs either only leaking one way which we could no from one step through#Or - which we will not know but should pay attention for if we step into some other world - if the earths flora shows up around EVERY porta#Which would suggest earth is the base in some way#It might be beneficial to climb a tree to try and see farther out#Though I donât exactly get many opurtunited to haul myself up a tree so I would put to much stock in a)my upper body strength#And b) my ability to chose a tree that wonât kill me#Itâs defintley worth taking in as much info as possible. Iâll try and notice things like different winds gravity tempature ect#What should i tag this all. Help I got lost in a blackberry bush? Anon who takes me to alternate planes of reality?#I know#Guys I got lost in a bush#Thatâs a good one. Nothing weird there at all.#FINE Iâll rage it âguys I got lost in a blackberry bushâ#I wonder what makes things so familiar. Perhaps this world exists very closely to the other. Perhaps theyâve crossed paths before.#Perhaps theyâve shown up in our dreams. Perhaps I have bad memory and my brain gaslights itself into thinking everythingâs familiar#I wonder maybe the horse is a horse/dog thing- that would explain the likeness to the dog whistle (?)#This canât get any worse I say doing something that could very much make it worse#Eh whatâs the worst that can happen. At least I donât have to pay taxes in this world#Guys I got lost in a black berry bush
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#went down a wikipedia rabbithole tonight and learned some chilean history#specifically around project cybersyn#President Salvador Allende#and the 1973 Military coup#and uh#fucking tragic#i think ive existed in a strange(? maybe its actually relatively common idrk) position as an American leftist where like#the crimes of american imperialism feel so innumerable to where at a certain point you stop learning about them on purpose#so like for years ive 'known' that what the USG has done to South America was awful#i 'learned' about honduras and so I just applied that as a template and went 'yeah some awful shit happened and its the CIAs fault'#but uh getting a bit more detailed knowledge about what our government did in chile has made me realize how callous that was#i dont know that ive nessecarily earned my previous attitude of 'cold detached and depressed' given#that not only did I not live through any of it but also that it was done in my benefit#god maybe this is some milquetoast shit#idk#I think being a leftist in the US is having to fight the passivating force of imperialism constantly#like lose sight of it for a second and it just fucking blends back in with the landscape#the internally defensive structure you build in your brain to protect yourself from complete emotional collapse while buying food#will equally be effective in ignoring the role of imperialism in everything else#anyway#I think this is perhaps a good opportunity to learn more about the other crimes the USG has committed in South America#to actually know the names and pronunciation of the deomcratically elected socialist leaders we deposed and what they really wanted to do#to know how their people felt and thought about things rather than imposing my own assumptions onto a reigon I am utterly ignorant of#it is embarrassing now to know the fullness of history I have ignored#Salvador Allendes words really fucking got to me and to think that there are men like him who I cannot even name is really disappointing#im going to stop self flaggellating and see about that reading#just my thoughts#feeling a little blue tonight
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