#but those are the basic gist of it
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*pops up from the void with a thought*
I know I've mentioned once or twice about headcanoning Reginald and Right as foils to Ellie and Charles, but I figure I would post about their similarities to each other.
Reginald and Ellie's big thing they share are loyalty and betrayal, if Henry does right by them then he has a friend in them (TK, T4L possibly TR for Reg and CG, TR/PP and TT for Ellie), but if he doesn't then they will make Henry pay. (Betrayed/Revenged for Reginald, TCW and possibly even CEO for Ellie)
They also both share having a fake out betrayal scene. (Ellie in CA and Reg in TK)
Also slightly smaller but they both have had Henry do a pose that they do in the TR end card. (TK has Henry doing Reg's pose, TT has Henry doing the Ellie pose)
Charles and Right first obvious big thing is their impulsiveness, action first and think about the consequences when they get to it. (VH is a big one for Charles as FM is for Right)
And as allies Charles and Right both trust Henry to rescue them if needed and both work together even if it ends in a fail. (Charles in SPO and Right in TK)
Also adding on that Charles and Right are fiercely loyal to their respective teams. (Puff mentioned in one of the livestreams when talking about the so called beta stuff that Charles would never betray the Government and Right's loyalty to the Toppats have been mentioned and shown multiple times)
And while smaller, Reginald and Charles share the fact that they both fly, have given Henry their number in some timeline that he remembers and they directly refer to Henry as a friend atleast once.
#mod lizzy rambles#might add on to this later as i am sleepy#but those are the basic gist of it#also realizing that sven and dave could be foils as they both like to talk are ignored and dont have the best of luck#*rolls off to bed*#thsc#im sure there is still more especially with right and ellie but my brain is functioning on sleepy right now so yeah#maybe a stretch of the pose thing but reg and ellie has henry do their similar poses on his more eviler routes of JB and TCW
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Wammy kids Evangelion au… aka pain and suffering squared

#death note#death note fanart#mello death note#mello#mihael keehl#near death note#near#nate river#matt death note#matt#mail jeevas#my art#neon genesis evangelion#near wears his suit looser when not in battle#all three are fighting angels in Britain while L Light and Misa are in Japan#the basic gist !! I need to design those three too#I’d make some changes though#here near is a bit similar to Rei so he’s like sooort of an offshoot of L#I originally planned this for mello too but I think I’d fit him more to be human and exceptional#Matt’s just here for the ride#why is meronia so asurei though…#I see them everywhere
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now just the sight of you is nothing but a reminder...
#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#battle region#litten#ralts#kirlia#my art#uhm. i hope that post i linked gives even a little context.#buuuut the gist is that vince(kirlia) essentially stabbed beatrix(litten) in the back to win one of those tournaments and evolve#theres a bit more to their situation but again. thats the /basic/ gist !
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i wish i could manifest a stronger interest in fashion... that would make these studies so much easier
#jestersvaguely#when i practice it's mainly historical fashion from a variety of areas#but i just don't have the mind for it. i can categorize it just fine when looking#i can identify the basic gist well enough i think#but when asked to recreate something specific my mind just acts like those files never existed. wails
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to me, all my muses here are princes, just that some sometimes they forget it -coughs- gilly -coughs- romano -coughs- f.eliciano -coughs-
#;ooc#ooc#theres a thread some balance reslly thinly over- like it.aly#HE IS PRINCELY IN HIS OWN WAY YES! but sometimes he also cant read the room#but he is very charming and genuine so he gets points back#or then theres k.iku; polite prince ; gentle strong but also a bit shy#i feel like he would never loose his prince-like trait; he sparkles on his own#f.inland is like a fairy tale type of prince; like from a shoujo manga#he is thst optimist coworker thta always helps you look at the bright side and hype you up; sunflower shaped#r.omano is the spoiled prince type; but it also depends bc with ladies he is def much more gentlemanly; with men its like; get over yoursel#still a bit prickly on the sides like hedgehog ince u start getting closer but he doesnt loose his moments#g.illy is arrogant prince; a special type of tsundere where its more lime a DENSE tsundere#england is always concerned about his gentleman qualities; ✋its very important to him#but he is a bit of a loner so you dont often see that side#it doesnt help either that the msjority of people he talks to get on his NERVES#also far more considerate and gentle with women; with men hes already lifting a brow (used to dealing with the other countries behing unhin#unhinged#HE MIGHT;; because he is a 'gentleman' give you the benefit of the doubt but thats i t#he is going to be judging u ✍️#also apologies for the typos and horrible redaction; my phone doesmt tend to corrrect typos and its nogjt time oof#but i hope the general gist can be conveyed#what i mean is... basically if all of them were in an o.tome game; that would be a disaster#AEIOEIEOERPRITOERIOY#i would talk about the rest but for now this is it#i love chivalry and gentlemanly traits its just too sweet to me; like in fairy tales; in that regards i mean#its like in my f.go blog; those guys are like princes to me...#u cant look at c.onstantine and say he doesnt look gentle and warm- or a.rjuna with his (canon actually) princely attitude#spain is so gentle and warm and friendly; its like;; if he were a prince; he would be so down to earth u wouldnt feel shy to talk to him#hes a literal sunflower i love him#he is funny and spontaneous and he would have way too many acts of love to just pick one
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I swear I made a post about this already but damned if I can find it: au where Pat and Julian are the living couple who move into the manor. more under the cut
They're married, but it's not out of love. It's partly for tax benefits, partly because Julian's desperate to save his image after a big scandal (nothing else he did seemed to work, so he thought 'fuck it, maybe if I come out and marry a bloke, one who's friendly, kind, and has a good reputation, I might be able to make myself look better in the public eye, or at the very least, maybe it'll overshadow the scandal), and partly because Pat wants to make it seem like he's moved on after Carol (even if it was with Julian bloody Fawcett of all folks). They move into Button Manor together, doing their best to convince everyone else they're definitely in love while having a pretty strained relationship. They're both convinced the other kind of hates them, and constantly reference the day everything blows over and they'll separate, because obviously this won't last.
The ghosts, dramas and crises slowly bring them together though, and they start to warm up to each other. They learn how to work as a proper unit, Julian makes an effort to be a better dad and a little bit kinder, Pat learns to stand up for himself, they bring out the best (and sometimes the worst) in each other, and by the end of it, they properly fall in love. They have a redo of their proposal (much to the chagrin of the ghosts, most of whom really wanted Pat to divorce Julian) and have an actual go at this whole 'happily married' thing
#patulian#this is another one of those aus that likes to reappear in my mind every so often#i dont have all the kinks ironed out for it but thats the basic gist#fake married to real married you know?
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one of the few scenes i've written for the jegulus fic i've been working on, regulus getting his dark mark. wrote this back in january and haven't looked at it since until today and am deeply unwell about it, so posting this snippet to hopefully get motivation to write more than just the three scenes and fuck ton of notes i have (it's like 550 some words, so putting it under a read more, but you should read it and then ask me questions bc i have so many thoughts for this fic :3)
The next meeting is just after Christmas. There seems to be a slightly different cast of characters at each one, probably why these are so frequent, to keep anyone who couldn’t make the previous meeting up to date.
He isn’t there until the third meeting though. Just before Regulus is due to go back to Hogwarts. The vibes are different immediately, a chill in the air, everyone speaking in more hushed reverent tones with less idle chit chat.
He addresses Regulus specifically towards the end of the meeting. “Black, I’ve heard promising things about you,” he gives a small nod, “How have you been finding our meetings, intriguing I hope?”
This is the moment, the pivotal spot where everything shifts, “Yes, sir, they’ve given me much to think about, and already I have learned so much more than I ever could’ve hoped. I’ve been given access to resources on the dark arts I could never dream of finding at Hogwarts, it has been a great privilege.”
Bella looks like she’s about to start vibrating from excitement, that the Dark Lord is paying specific attention to the Black family is a dream come true to her.
“Hm yes, we can offer much that Hogwarts cannot. However, Hogwarts is where the youth of today exists, and it’s always good to have an insider, to convince those who might be unsure, what the best side to be on is." He pauses for a moment, "So perhaps, we have ourselves a new recruit tonight? Your cousin Bellatrix has already proven herself more than loyal, and I can’t imagine she would bring someone along who wouldn’t already be loyal to us as well.”
Regulus panics, Fuck does he know? he can’t know. It’s probably just because I’m 16 and he can’t have full control over me at Hogwarts. Verbally he says, “I’d be honored, My Lord,” with a small reverent bow.
He seemed pleased with this, “Brothers, tonight we celebrate adding another to our ranks! Welcome, young Regulus Black.”
Bella screeches beside me, clinging to my arm, Regulus offers a smile to the rest of the room, hoping he seems excited and not on the verge of tears. The meeting has now extended to include his induction.
Regulus has no clue what to expect, he knows Bella has the Dark Mark tattoo, and can only assume he's in for the same.
Regulus can tell there’s some sort of strong magic woven into the ink being painted on his forearm. It’s cold and feels almost alive, sort of snake like. Then came the pain. After Nott finished painting the design, he grabbed Regulus' wrist, barely touching his wand to the skin, and the mark sunk in. Regulus felt it eating away at his flesh, more like a brand than a tattoo, it was the most excruciating pain he had ever experienced. But he knew this was part of it, they were testing him, to see if he was weak, how he reacted to this pain was another part of whether or not they’d let him live.
Regulus allowed himself a grimace and nothing more, he refused to make any sort of sound as the ink burned through him like poison. Then it was done. The others congratulated him, told him he did well, that they were excited to have him on board, promised to send him books and such.
#the tattoo ink is a type of potion that they basically paint onto their skin and then using a spell connect it to the person's body#so like it does essentially function like a brand and ties your magic in with voldemort's#idk what all the specific components of the potion are or what the spell is yet but that's the gist#the potion does include some of nagini's venom which is the main thing that ties the death eaters to voldemort#but yeah there's no jegulus in this scene but i prommy it's relevant#painful deep dive into how the war has effected those on both sides#and obvi how it affects james and regulus' relationship#i've got some really interesting ideas for how magical theory is gonna do different things#there's gonna be cannibalism#and interesting things in regards to magic and cannibalism#it's so good i just need to actually write it#musings of serenity nebulus#harry potter#the marauders#marauders era#regulus black#death eaters#wip#my writing
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i mean this in the least weird possible i promise but. i think that you get an extra layer of delight in reading tged and 약 파는 황태자 if you're used to consuming korean content. i'm not saying you're missing something important from them if you don't do this but,,,, i do think there are certain little details and humor that probably don't hit quite as much if you're not familiar with some of the culture and humor lol
it's just the little things, like lloyd calling javier "this punk" or "this guy" even while talking directly with him, because it feels sorta awkward in english, but if you're used to watching series or movies in korean you can almost hear the tone in which he's saying it.
or when javier is teasing lloyd and he hits too close at home and lloyd just goes "hey" but you can almost heart the "야" which is very close but not quite. or this little 'haah' he does when he's kind of frustrated or thinking hard about something.
or that you don't quite get why it's such a deal that julian started calling lloyd 'older brother' cause the translation doesn't use the word 'hyung'. or that the point of javier and lloyd's bet was that if lloyd lost he would call javier, someone younger than him, 'hyung' which would imply he's older and is a form of showing respect or affection. which is completely different from the 'master' they used in the translation. or how sweet and kind of sad it is that theodore still calls rakiel 'hyung' even when the whole court expects them to be against each other.
or just in general the way the dialogue flows feels much more natural when you consider that it was originally written in korean and not in english
it just,, small things that you don't quite notice unless you already have experience in dealing with a different language than the one you were raised with akjshdkja
#i talk a lot <3#i think people who are bilingual will get what i'm saying#it's not the same to read a translation when you don't know the original language as it is when you do know it#even if you don't quite speak it#there's just a certain tone to all languages#and you enjoy media a lot more when you consume it in it's original language#or are at the very least familiar with it#my native language is spanish and when i learned english i had to learn the way humor and tone and slang is used with it#because it's so much different than the humor and tone and slang we use in spanish and if you don't learn those things you're missing a big#chunk of the language itself#now my korean is basically non-existent i can tell you a few words and phrases and can maybe get the gist of a couple sentences#i would not be able to read an entire book in korean#but i'm familiar with the sounds and intonation of it so it's fun to see the way a sentence is written in korean#and being able to kinda tell how it would sound out loud#or i dunno maybe i'm just a nerd ajskdhjka
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'no one has a kink for [x], so [etc]'
folks, pals
#sometimes you amble around post/blog chains and you just#well you do read words you certainly do that#what really gets me most about the antikink folks is I don't even always disagree with the gist of what many of them are trying to get at#but the arguments they are just not good#like idk man just how do you get on god's internet and begin a sentence 'nobody has a kink for [x]' and not immediately self-correct?#believe you me I assure you people do have a kink for that#no matter the value of x but in this case x was ventilators and like. folks. they do. pinkyswear#like I basically do not think there are reasonable antikink arguments out there in the sort of abstract#but there CLEARLY are pretty vehement and existentially threatening reasonable arguments about the ways the concept often gets used. 110%#but you just. you have to step a little bit outside Default Attitude to have a hope in hell of making those effectively and it's just. sigh
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Okay, so the actual article seems to be largely about disproportionate price increases in various food items. Normally I'd say the headline was pure outrage-bait, but it is the Wall Street Journal, so actually I'm leaning more toward unironic idiocy.

“Poor? Have you tried starving? “
#fuck capitalism#guy who manages the deli area at my usual kroger today: “yeah uh you missed the half-off roasted chickens by an hour at least”#“people will do anything for $5 off dinner"#“they spawn-camp the discounts” (okay he did not actually say those words but that was the gist of it)#and i'm not trying to imply he was in any way being a corporate apologist he definitely makes less money than i do and was bitter#it was more of a “fuck everything about how much prices for basic necessities have been going up” moment#i have lived in my current neighborhood just over one year#the prices for most food I buy at the grocery have gone up by 30-50% in that time
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hello there :) could you perhaps leave an ask in my inbox and tell me where the song in question in this poll https://www.tumblr.com/hambambi/765605610609852416?source=share is?
I usually don't mind waiting for the reveal nor the guess work but this one has me so stumped that I've spend 2 hours combing through various soundtracks I thought could fit just to find it
Hi! I'm so sorry that I'm just now seeing this ask because Tumblr isn't notifying me about any new notifications recently. 🙇♂️ I don't know if you already found out where the song is from but if you haven't it's from a collab event in the mobile rhythm & gacha game called Project Sekai: Colorful Stage. It's a collaboration between the game and Mothy-P's Aku no Taizai (The Deadly Sins of Evil) series, which is a part of the Evillious Chronicles series. The event contained songs from the series, a gacha with cards of six of the characters from the series (played by the Vocaloids Miku, Rin, Len, Luka, Kaito, & Meiko), and a sekai where those characters can appear in. The song is actually the area bgm of the sekai!
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If you like rhythm games and/or vocaloid music, then I do recommend the game as it's pretty fun and they have a wide range of songs to play. It is also a gacha game though, and while I don't think the gacha mechanic is as bad compared to other games (coming from someone who is a casual free-to-play player, but is mainly more interested in the vocaloids and a few other characters), it's understandable if that's a deal breaker for you.
If you're not really interested in the game but are open to listening to vocaloid music, then Evillious Chronicles has a lot of good songs listen to. The two most popular songs from the series are The Daughter of Evil and The Servant of Evil. I linked them below if you want to give them a listen
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#that's basically the gist of it#I tried my best to summarize those sections as best as I could since I sometimes have a tendency to ramble on more than necessary#but yeah thank you for asking and sorry again that I didn't see your ask sooner#ALSO one thing I forgot to mention about Evillious#While there are a ton of songs in the series & you can get a basic understanding of most of the events that happen through listening to them#it's also recommended to read the books if you want to get a better understanding of the series#as there are some things that happen that either weren't covered by the songs or were briefly touched upon#luckily there are people who are translating the books to english and there is a wiki that explains the story & the characters
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oh now that i think abt it. have i ever said anything abt pt 2 of the magic au?? ik i've rambled abt different plot points from the third part but. hmmm.
#esp since i've known for long enough that it's another part out of chrono order#but instead of being at the end i've decided tonight to do#one of those split uhhhhh how do i#basically it alternates each scene between the start of the first half and the start of the second#idk what the method is i've only seen it in book 2 of the delirium trilogy and its been ages since i read those books#(i cant even say what its called tbh.... delirium one requiem three thats all i got aaaaaa)#but anyway!! i rly like this bc it still builds anticipation just for a different certain thing than i'd originally planned#i wanna#hm#maybe instead of rambling abt the gist i'll post a snippet of this scene out of context
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There was a tumblr post on here and I can’t remember who it was from but I do remember the general gist.
It was basically about Bruce going “Brucie mode” and therefore making it impossible for people to be or stay mad at him. Just flash those beautiful blue eyes at someone and they’re ready to do his bidding
——
Jason: You were monitoring me?! What the fuck Bruce! I told you-
Bruce: *zoning out and not in the mood to be yelled at*
Jason: -and… what are you doing? Hey! Don’t you dare go-
Bruce: *already in Brucie mode* Why are you yelling at me Jay? Did I do something wrong?
Jason: *unable to stay angry* Fuck you Dad
——
Dick: Stop that
Bruce: *not a single thought behind his eyes, smiling brightly* Stop what chum?
Dick: Fuck you!
Bruce: *smile faltering, eyes getting glassy as tears start to build up* W-what? What did I do Dickie? Why are you mad at me? *voice wobbling*
Dick: Fuckkkk *hugs Bruce, mentally cursing himself out* Nothing Dad, nothing at all
——
Tim: B, you need to sign this stack of papers for… the uh… investors…
Bruce: *holding up a steaming cup of Tim’s favorite coffee, smiling in that boyish way everyone loves* Timmy you work so hard! I made this for you *eyes sparkling earnestly*
Tim: *looking between the coffee and the paperwork Bruce has been putting off for the past week* I- Bruce you gotta sign these. The board is on my ass and you aren’t helping
Bruce: *frowning and slowly lowering the cup* Oh… sorry I thought we could hang out today…
Tim: *already giving in* Fuck it, let’s go watch a movie Dad
——
Alfred: Master Bruce
Bruce: *completely ignoring him and posting on Twitter or Instagram while lying on a cot in the Batcave*
Alfred: Master Bruce please. It is imperative that we clean your scrapes and bruises before you get an infection
Bruce: *whining and looking up at Alfred with puppy dog eyes* Alfie, can’t it wait? Can’t I have a sandwich first? Pretty please?
Alfred: *flashbacks to baby Bruce* I… I suppose. What would you like on your sandwich my boy?
——
Damian: …
Bruce: …
Damian: Why do you do this Baba?
Bruce: *shrugs* Why not? Sooner or later you’ll understand the great power I have over people.
Damian: I see… I shall study this method of manipulation more.
——
Bonus
Clark: M-mister Wayne this is really inappropriate *blushing bright red and trying to adjust his glasses*
Bruce: *currently seated on Clark’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck, titling his head like a lost puppy* What do ya mean reporter man? I thought that this was supposed to be a very… intimate interview. Do you want me to move?
Clark: No! Ehem… n-no mister Wayne. I’m simply… getting used to it *Clark’s hand flexes from where it’s gripping Bruce’s surprisingly small waist*
Bruce: *playing with the baby hairs on Clark’s neck, a seductive smile on his face as he drops his voice and leans in closer* Yeah? That’s good. I think I really like doing intimate interviews with you. But, the study isn’t the best place to have it. Why don’t we… go up to my bedroom for more privacy?
Clark: *throws Bruce over his shoulders and bounds up the stairs, Bruce is laughing loudly*
#dc universe#batman#dcu#bruce wayne#batfam#bruce wayne is a good parent#good dad bruce wayne#brucie wayne#dc#batkids#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#superbat#damian wayne
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Okay so I realized how inconsistent I was with drawing Johnny so I made this ref for myself for my AU where the boys are all alive, figured I'd include Ghost and Roach too. I tried to take into account the lore of ghost comics, orignal mw saga and the reboot and what I could find of the CoD mobile comics (which was super minimal unfortunately). I couldn't be bothered to draw helmets though sue me.
I'm writing a fic right now to explain all this how they end up together; angst ensues but not for long. It's really just a lead up to how things got to my cuddle art.
You guys are welcome to use this for reference too if you want, but please do not use my original images without permission!
#spectrecowboy art#call of duty fanart#digital art#digital drawing#call of duty modern warfare#gary roach sanderson#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soaproachghost#ghostsoaproach#ghostroachsoap#soapghostroach#AU character design reference#cod au#roach cod#soap cod#ghost cod#my art#call of duty#basically the gist of the fic is ghostroach first#and then it's ghostsoap#and then ghost thinks they're both dead but those two meet and become fast friends(?) hehe and fall in love a little#and then they kill Makarov and get to rest for once.#dead men walking au
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So, I don't know how many Bsd fans are also Fate/Stay Night fans...... BUT I AM and this is the only reason this exists Fate is one of my favorite series and I was listening to the Fate/Zero ost one day because it's one of my fav ost ever... and I started thinking about a possible crossover and it kinda snowballed from there lol Explanations and ramblings under the cut!
For who doesn't know what Fate/Stay Night is about: the gist of it is there's a recurring event where seven mages (masters) summon seven heroic spirits (servants) who fight between each other to win the Holy Grail. Basic things to know are: servants are divided in classes and each has a Noble Phantasm, aka a servant's ultimate weapon/ability; each master has three command spells which compel the servant to obey to three absolute orders; servants need mana to keep existing. said mana is usually provided by the master, but can also be transferred with bodily fluids (that includes sex) The pairs I had thought of for this au are: - berserker!Chuuya + Dazai (in this case the berserker's typical madness happens only with Corruption, which is Chuuya's Noble Phantasm and can be stopped only using a command spell) - saber!Akutagawa + Atsushi - caster!Nikolai + Fyodor - lancer!Bram + Aya - assassin!Nathaniel + Margareth - archer!Mark Twain + Lucy I have absolutely NO idea who to cast as rider lol Kunikida is the Church's overseer though (an impartial judge for the Holy War) I've thought about these combinations for fun since I don't have an overarching plot or anything, just some little disconnected scenes, but I liked the possible interactions with these pairs. I wanted to have characters from the main factions in the series (so like, the Port Mafia, the Agency, the Guild...) but since servants are heroic spirits of the past (and in this au they're not their irl literary counterparts, but characters on their own. Chuuya's real identity would be Arahabaki, etc) I wanted to pick characters who also could have a particular design while fitting the role........... I wanted to put Lovecraft in there too but he's definitely a berserker and I'm not giving up Chuuya for it lol This wip has been eating my brain for literal months, so here it is!! It got me back into doodling just for fun so it was a good time. I actually have more sketches but I feel like these are already a lot lol...... so I'll post those at a later time (also because I'm rewatching ubw now so I might end up doing more....)
#bungo stray dogs#bsd#skk#soukoku#fate series#fate stay night#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd atsushi#bsd akutagawa#bsd fyodor#bsd nikolai#doodles#i feel like ive just come out from the longest fever dream
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how to disappear; jack abbot x f!trauma surgeon!reader
pittsburgh is roughly 58 square miles, large hospitals in metropolitans are usually 1.2 million square feet. only making ptmc extremely confining with a certain trauma surgeon and senior attending physician in the emergency room especially during hostility.
warnings: emotionally constipated adults, language, talks of children and marriage, semi-medical accuracies (i have several immediate family members in the medical field, this is basically in my regular lexicon), gore adjacent, mentions of past sex, age gap: reader is 30-33, jack is 47-49. word count: 4.1k notes: mdni. call me disorganized, my oc fic is on HOLD, until further notice :3. this is part one of two (?) ask/requests are open!
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“I thought you were working day shift?” Parker asked, your eyes blinked roughly as they adjusted to the bright light of the patient’s board, “What’re you doing stuck down here?”.
“They requested for me to have a change of schedule to be on-call, couldn’t say no to the generous pay raise” you responded, cocking your head slightly to meet eyes with Parker, “Plus night shift always gets the most carnage”.
“You’re sick, you know that?” Parker chuckled, fist meeting your shoulder playfully before she walked off.
Clipping on your hospital ID was muscle memory, both Heather and Robby referred to as “overworker’s disease”, you saw it as being stuck in the place for several years at a time.
You needed a vacation, sweaty hot sex, vodka, or weed; or maybe just all of those in that order. Your eyes were glossed over from the eyedrops you have administered before leaving Jack’s house, they did good to conceal the hours of crying and bloodshot eyes.
But Bridget saw through that puffiness and reoccurring sniffle that matched the pout of your lips, she knew you well like you were her own daughter. She knew your breathing patterns were shallow and uneven, the eyebags that became a more pigmented purple, the constant fiddling of your rings.
She knew you needed a break, a break in bed where you could cry it out and come back renewed with extra hours of sleep and extra takeout.
“Honey, are you okay?” Bridget inquired, taking off her glasses and tucking them in her scrub undershirt, “You seem out of it”.
Your eyes darted towards her and all you could give her was a nod as you became tight lipped, worried that if you unclench your jaw for a second you’d break. Nevertheless, Bridget smiled and rested her hand on yours, knowing all too well what happened to you.
What Bridget saw was your hair blown out but tucked up a tortoiseshell claw clip for it to be out of your way. She saw manicured short french tip nails, residue of black eyeliner in your waterline, hints of matte red lipstick that must have been taken off in a rush as it made your lips look as if they were bleeding. She saw gold bracelets of all different textures and patterns, rings stacked beautifully and meticulously, necklaces that would accentuate cleavage with the right dress, diamond earrings that twinkled when moving under the LED lights.
She saw a woman who had just got stood up.
“Good evening everybody”.
And she just stumbled upon the reason.
You closed your eyes and sighed under your breath.
Luckily being a different specialty department, you weren’t required to be given the gist of speeches by the physicians and nurses. Some may say it due to surgeons being “above”, you say it’s because of different structures in departments- you can learn just as much during rounds in the emergency room as you would post-op, if not, you’ll learn more. Therefore you were able to walk off into the bathroom.
You enjoyed your job, you were grateful for your job that led you to places you never thought you would be. You were grateful for the smiles, the laughter, the songs the patient requested to be played during surgery, the parents or loved ones that would hug you tight, and yes, the gore and carnage.
You were also grateful that it led you to Abbot. 23, you were fresh out of an internship in Massachusetts, then you wanted a change of scenery. By 26, frequent hookups at your respective places were a casual way to start, end, and continue a week; just in time for your residency to finish and your fellowship to be fast-tracked due your rotations in the emergency department and competency exams. Hookups turned to dating by your 27th birthday, months later, Jack’s house was basically yours too. Now, you’re the attending who’s trying her hardest to hold it all in because a man decided no more to the most constant thing in your chaotic life- in a chaotic profession.
You had put on a silk dress that flowed perfectly enough to accentuate your curves, you wore lingerie, black heels, and smelt fucking amazing. You shaved, you wore your expensive lotion you could only justify using on special occasions, you wore jewelry you’ve collected over the years and that Jack had given you. You went the whole 9 yards and more.
“Okay so what is it?” you asked, sighing in defeat and barefooted in the living room, “You don’t want to go out, don’t want to talk about something you know I care about. Fuck Jack, you don’t even look at me when you know this is important”.
“Sorry I didn’t know dinner reservations were imperative to having a conversation with you” Jack scoffed, stressed and unnerved, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Jesus christ just forget about dinner!” you raised your voice, your throat began to slowly burn, “I don’t care about dinner Jack. I care about being appreciated from my boyfriend when I put on a fucking dress and heels. I care about you walking into that door every morning and kissing me. I care about having sex and ordering fucking pizza” you ranted, your time was almost up as it crept closer to your shift.
“Do you want kids?” he blurted.
“What?”.
“Do. you. want kids?”.
You blinked in confusion, swallowing whatever you had planned to say and again to collect what he had just proposed. “I would like to have kids but with my job and yours, that seems unlikely. I don’t mind not having them”.
“There was a positive test in the trash two weeks ago that you didn’t think to tell me about” he cleared his throat.
Your brows furrowed, “It was a false positive, Heather did a work up with full labs for me” you looked to the ground not noting that it would’ve also been nice for him to know both of those things. “If a pregnancy test is sending you to avoid me like the plague; we have a bigger issue here Jack”.
“It would’ve been nice to know that you were afraid you were pregnant that you told Collins before me”.
“Do you think I’m punishing you for withholding information that was irrelevant to me after a day?” you were shocked almost, still confused at the hostility, “I wasn’t afraid of being pregnant, I was afraid of false hope”.
“I don’t want kids, that’s just not something I see in my future”.
“Our future” your voice began to crack more and more. Kids weren’t a dealbreaker by any means, the way Jack worded it to be something exclusionary in regards to you is what broke you. “I need you to tell me if this is what’s causing you fucking hurt me”.
“It’s not- I just think we have a misconstrued view on the future of this” he pointed to both of you back and forth.
“Jack forget about the sheer possibility of kids, why are you being distant?” you took a step closer as he took a step back, the action only shattering your heart more, the tears began to flow as you straightened your back, “What about marriage?”.
“Same as kids”.
You nodded, looking away from him, “I’m not going to change your opinions about either of those, I’m not going to try”. You inhaled before a sob erupted from your throat, “I have to be able to want those things without feeling like you’re going to walk away. God, you never once spoke about this before so why now? Why all of the sudden vows and kids are a dealbreaker when- if I remember this correctly- the past year you’ve been asking for baby names and what rings I would like? Was it just for show? Was I just for show?”.
“Of course you weren't,” he sighed yet again, his eyes piercing yours, “You’re you, I guarantee you’ll find someone else who wants both of those”.
“I don’t want someone else Jack” you whispered, one tone louder and you’ll be a wreck in front of him.
Silence creeped over the room and nothing but the shudder of your breath filled the room, “I guess this isn’t working” his own voice cracked as if his mind betrayed his actions. With that, years of your heart shattered.
“I guess not”.
Jack was the same guy who held your legs as they rested on his during football games. The guy who tied the strings of dresses and kissed your shoulder, who stared in awe while you did your makeup, baked and cooked with you, danced to his best effort with you. Watched ‘Game of Thrones’ and ‘House of the Dragon’ with you every sunday without fail, not shy of commentary.
He would fix your hair after sex, clean you up in the en-suite with warm water, would make your toes curl around his waist as an orgasm washed over you, would coax another orgasm out of you. He would massage your clit, knew exactly where your g-spot sat, made your breath hitch and your eyes roll back. He never pressured, only asked a near sixty times if you were okay and comfortable. He would never degrade you even if asked, the most he’d do would be spitting in your mouth and lightly choking you. Wasn’t shy about having his dog tags pulled or you wearing them, loved the twinkle in your eye every time his cock grazed the right spot. The man was a dog. If you forgot an undershirt under your scrubs, his cock would strain from the veins coating your breasts, the slightest graze would send him on a frenzy when you’d get home if both of you were up for it, loved the lingerie just as much as he loved you in pajamas and a worn out shirt from college.
The same guy that would squeeze the back of your neck to relieve your worries, text you mid-shift about your wedgie and would fix said wedgie in passing, would wash your hair and body. Would watch every movie and TV show with a thousand questions, stare idly at you during every get-together as you mingled on your own with Heather. Every Fourth of July he spent with you, he was at ease, not jumpy or had his heart racing- you thanked therapy, he thanked you.
He’d stand in front of you and be the same guy during company basketball and baseball games that coached you on the sidelines, guided your arm, gave you water. You wanted to marry him, your parents always said when you do get married, it should be with someone like him if not him. You wanted rings, his and her matching towels, garter tosses and to take off his suit in the same night. He knew that, hell the whole emergency department was well aware of your dream wedding that changed every now and then.
Now you stand there beneath yourself because that is all gone on a random Wednesday. Didn’t wait for the weekend for it to settle, for hell to freeze over. While you went crazy thinking the worst, you had a job to do, and it was barely August.
Luckily, new staff and medical students were reserved for day shift, meaning you were secretly praying for both Robby and Collins sake.
“We have a male MVC victim, 10 minutes out, Abbot wanted you on standby” Parker opened the bathroom door only to be greeted with your meltdown, “You okay? Want water or coffee?”.
You shook your head only for her to fully allow herself in, “You and I both know the way you’re crying is going to lead you to dehydrate” she continued, “What happened?”.
“We broke up” you responded, curt and without remorse, “I don’t want to talk about it”.
“Okay, but just know you can always go home”.
“He’s home”.
You spent two minutes in there trying to gain your composure, worried that the MVC wouldn’t get the most accurate and resourceful amount of care with you like this. Splashing water against your face before exiting and being greeted with the beaming emergency department lights.
You checked up on three different patients, smiling and asking if they were comfortable and okay with waiting just in case the MVC took up more time than usual. As you left the last, the MVC arrived and both you and Abbot occupied opposite sides of the gurney.
The EMTs were able to stabilize him as much as they could, “Breath sounds are good so far a little too crackly but acceptable, there’s rigidity in his abdomen I need an chest scan to confirm bruising- I’ll call they always fast track me” you told Jack as you approached the trauma room, grabbing the phone as he took over, “Hey it’s Doctor L/n, I need a chest CT for a MVC victim, his abdomen is rigid and slightly distended with crackly breathing. No- I need you to take me up now, we’re already in a trauma room- okay, thank you see you there”.
Turning back to Jack, evening out the creases in your navy scrubs, “They’ll take him now, I’ll take him up” you whispered, grabbing a hold of the gurney from the bottom, “Can you open the doors?” you asked, “Get Walsh for me too, if it’s something with his abdomen I shouldn’t do exploratory”.
“You don’t only do exploratory surgery Y/n” Jack posed the statement as if you were undermining yourself for Walsh to be the scalpel junkie this shift.
“I know, Walsh is still learning the ways of being an attending, if anything I’m making sure she’s equipped to be in my stead when I’m not here” you argued back only for the MVC victim to regain his consciousness, “I know what I’m doing Doctor Abbot”.
“This morning it was babe, by the afternoon it was Jack, now it’s Doctor Abbot?” he queried, as if the whole ‘I guess this isn’t working’ bit was a skit.
“Last time I checked this wasn’t-“ you looked down to the gurney to see a conscious man with a smile on his face, “Good evening sir, I’m Doctor L/n, you’re at Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center, I will be taking you up to CT now” you feigned a smile and eyed Jack, he knew that look.
The ‘we’ll talk about it later’ look.
“You’re in good hands sir” Jack waved off.
The elevator ride was calming, the tension in the trauma was thick enough to cut with a knife. You learned his name was Raymond Orser, he had a wife and a daughter, served a couple tours in the military, his sister lived in Pittsburgh while he lived in Philly.
“So, what was the deal between you and salt and pepper?” Raymond asked, his breathing less labored as you both exited out of the elevator.
“Salt and pepper? Doctor Abbot?”.
“Or babe whichever you prefer” Raymomd joked, “Must’ve been a tough fight, my wife and I were the poster board for marital arguments about silly things- one time after my daughter was born we argued about the way the cereal box closed”.
“He’s not my husband Mr. Orser, technically he’s just a colleague” you told him. Eyeing around you to see who was there, “We dated for 6 years today, it’s our anniversary, was supposed to wine and dine him before our shift but…”.
“Ah. You know, I’m only 39. I’ve spent a great deal of it loving my wife before I had even met her." You made a face that exuded confusion, “I know you’re looking at me crazy, but you just know. When’d you meet Doctor Abbot?”.
“When I was 23, about to be 24, he was also relatively new; he beat me by 3 years. Didn’t start dating until I was 27 and he was 41” you confessed, “What about you huh? How old is your daughter?”.
“She’s seven, had her after I got discharged. My wife and I had a shotgun wedding, very intimate”.
“Okay, we are just about to go into CT, I’ll be on the imaging side, you’re going to feel a little fluid in your IV, it’s to highlight and pinpoint what’s going on internally. I need to know if there’s any metal on you like jewelry below or above the waistline”.
“No, just my wedding ring”.
“That’s fine, this arm is going to stay up away from the imaging zone for the ‘highlighting fluid’, you’re going to feel a bit warm throughout your body, completely normal. If you feel nauseated it’s also pretty normal, we keep a wastebasket on standby so no worries” you clarified, giving him a smile before handing him off to the nurses.
Going into the radiology room, both the radiologist and technician glanced over to you, “Good evening” you greeted, “His abdomen was rigid and slightly distended, did Foreman tell either of you?”.
They both nodded, putting on their glasses and administering the contrast fluid. “Any plans for the morning L/n? You and Abbot are celebrating your anniversary today, no?” Jackie the radiologist asked, her hand not leaving the mouse and her eyes leaving the desktop.
You shuddered under your breath, inhaling deeply, “Yeah, might just stay in today”.
As the scans progressed one thing became clearer, there was a bleed in Raymond’s organs, non-septic, but still worrisome. You immediately grabbed the intercom mic, “Okay Ray, the nurses are going to get you settled back downstairs for a work up, I’ll go over your scans with Doctor Abbot”.
Turning to the left you grabbed the phone on the desk and dialed for the emergency department, “Hi Bridget, I’m sending Orser down, the MVC victim. He has a rib fracture that's causing internal bleeding, a tension pneumo but his breathing sounds were clear- lightly shallow” you cleared your throat, “Tell Abbot to do a finger thoracostomy, I’ll meet him down there”.
Afterwards you phoned the surgical wing, “Good evening, I need an OR available on standby, I have a MVC victim with a tension pneumothorax and internal bleeding”.
Some days cardio and general hogged the ORs, trauma and the emergency department always had an OR prepped in the morning shifts. Gloria liked to boast about her surgical teams, how each specialty had their own set OR.
Heading down to the emergency room, it was less chaotic on the surface- the waiting room said otherwise. Every room was filled minus the trauma rooms, the hallway had spillover, and curtains were drawn. You decided to take your leave to peds, being greeted with a little girl with a rattling cough.
“Good evening, I’m Doctor L/n, who is this princess?” you greeted, snapping on your gloves.
“Your scrubs are different” the girl mentioned mid cough.
“Sorry, this is Amanda, she’s been having this ugly cough for two weeks, she woke up choking on phlegm” a woman spoke up, “I’m her aunt, her mom’s on her way”.
“Ah okay, well, Amanda, my scrubs are different because I’m a surgeon here. Don’t worry, you’re not a surgical case, I just help down here” you clarified, putting your stethoscope on her chest, “Did she cough up phlegm, if so what color?”.
“It was brown, though in the car she had a cough attack and I swear I saw red”.
“Any history of asthma? Was she around any strong fumes?” you asked, “Amanda can you give me two big inhales and exhales?” you requested, putting your stethoscope on the girl’s back. As she inhaled and exhaled, all you heard was rattling.
“My sister- her mom has asthma, nothing too serious, she self carries though. Mandy got sick last week, her fever was moderate but she sweated a lot of it off during her sleep”.
You nodded, putting your stethoscope back around your neck, “I’m going to order a chest x-ray, from the sounds of it, Mandy here has acute bronchitis, probably from a viral infection that went unnoticed” you smiled to them both, “Is she allergic to paracetamol or ibuprofen?”.
“No, just soy”.
“Perfect, due to her age, I’ll prescribe extra strength Tylenol and an albuterol inhaler, two puffs about 5 seconds apart when needed to stabilize your lungs sweetie” you told her aunt, walking out to tell Bridget for an x-ray on Amanda.
“Abbot’s asking for you in south 14” Bridget said as you walked off, all you gave was a nod.
Opening the door and being met with a scene you would not have guessed to stumble upon out of the confines of your home. “Bridget said you wanted to see me?”.
“I’m not a prideful man” he sighed, you moved closer to the hospital bed he sat on, his prosthetic beside him, he was rubbing a cream on his stump- it smelt like eucalyptus. Jack never complained of phantom limb pain, though his hip would hurt every now and then. “But I do know that I am self-conscious”.
You remained silent, allowing Jack to speak. You did most of the talking earlier, now, it’s his turn. “I don’t know if I’ll be a good dad, weddings require some level of dancing that I just can’t put aside that difference to give to you- and I want to, I can’t shake that feeling” he sucked in a deep breath, “There are days where I have coax myself off the ledge, today being one of them”.
“Jack I-” you sighed in disbelief, “I don’t care about those things- ever- you’re not taking away anything by us not having kids or not getting married-”.
“You want those things”.
“There was a point in my life where I wanted you, one thing I know for certain, I never regretted it. Though I would’ve regretted not doing anything, you gave me the best sex of my life” you joked lightly, “If loving you and being with you means I don’t get a wedding or kids, then I’m okay with that. Though, you would be one hell of dilf”.
He chuckled at the comment, “Shit, I’d be in my 60s by the time the kid was in high school”.
“Still my sexy man” you commented, “I love you okay? But we have a job to get to and a vet who is keen on you”.
“Orser?” Jack questioned as he stood up with your assistance, popping his prosthetic back into place. You nodded, giving him a longing look, “I can’t kiss you- wouldn’t be able to stop”.
“Yeah yeah, happy anniversary cowboy” you smiled, feeling your phone vibrate with a page to the OR, “Shit, emergency surgery”.
“I love you cowgirl” Jack spoke up as you ran off. It was already 4:30 in the morning, the heat kept piling up.
The surgery was needed for a thoracotomy on a 67 year old who took a fall down her stairs which caused a cardiac tamponade, it took 2 hours and 40 minutes to repair, drain and control her hemorrhage. Caught early, it took less time than usual. You reeked of pungent acid with a hint of metal from the blood, afraid it was stuck in your hair.
Luckily your shift was over 10 minutes ago, you gathered your things and looked around for Jack, being greeted with Heather and Frank.
“Dana, have you seen Jack? Good morning to you all” you stretched, looking around to see no sight of Jack or Robby.
“Up on the roof with Robby”.
“Jesus, the midlife crisis twins” Frank joked under his breath, only to be met with the dirty looks of you and Heather.
“When he comes down tell him I’m in the truck” you sighed, tapping on the desk before letting your hair down from the clip that has held up your hair through blood and way too many body fluids.
dividers by @cafekitsune
#jack abbot#jack abbot x reader#jack abbot smut#jack abbot angst#the pitt#michael robinavitch#the pitt x reader#x reader#shawn hatosy#vanilleandclove
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