#but this was literally on a whole other level dawg

[thegreatestheaver]

still reeling from an awful hallucination I had last night at like 5am what the fuck was that

[luescris]

Okay. *inhales and claps hands together* I just got done finally catching up on things. Spoilers under the cut. :)

my thoughts. Are ALL over the place right now. I have words do describe how absolutely gobsmacked I am, but don't have a planned way to put everything so bare with me. So with that said.

*jumping up and down on my chair* dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons dragons

So many things about dragons holy shit you guys holy shit. Can I say how absolutely GORGEOUS the two teacher dragon designs are like on god?? I forget their names but the purple one is so freaking gorgeous and the black one. Is so complicated.

Like in general everything about this season just absolutely screams to me anime like. dude??? When they showed the Five in their prison thing??? That was some freaking anime shit right there. Literally had like flashbacks to that one dangerous group in Naruto that had nine people in it but this was five but s t i l l

There were so many shots where I wanted to take screenshots because oh my god they were so pretty but Netflix doesn't allow that (fuck Netflix for that personally) but dude the Fighting too?? The animation and lighting and lore and story building and ho ug h/pos

Also holy shit I'm so glad that Jay isn't being portrayed as hiding from the others so he doesn't have to do his job like I feared he genuinely forgot and that's so sad because Nya misses the love of her life (SHE ACTIVELY CALLS HIM THAT TOO AAAAA) and the fact that Lloyd got panic attacks??? And those visions??? And holy shit Kai???????

The amount of dragon lore we are FINALLY getting is so much and so sudden it's hurting my brain but I am not at all complaining right now this was the level of story telling that I absolutely adore it's so full of stuff and it's a goddamned lego show. Is it just me or did they seriously up the anti after Monkie Kid cuz you guys I can't I just can't/pos

Never expected Bonzel to be important but I'm not complaining. Cole has a boyfriend finally. The fucking. Council of the Source Dragons or whatever hovering over Lloyd like that oh man oh boy

And the reveal that Roz (Rahz??) and his "master" is only doing this just for some kinda tournament they keep loosing against the Source Dragons?? Talk about a whole new level of petty what the hell dawg that's. Kind of a little hilarious even ngl

Dude I can't wait for more I literally can't wait I'm vibrating so hard right now and still have endless questions this could go anywhere

I was legit glued to the screen the entire time I was watching like on the edge of my seat the whole time, I thought things would get worse or something but it was just all so intense

And also where the hell is Wu is he actually dead this time??? Is that his ghost????? And where in the world is Pixal??? Zane misses his gf :(((

[superm4ks]

I wanna hear all of ur thoughts on 3344!!! Please tell us everything!!!! my only addition is that that copse crash changed the trajectory of their lives immediately like they could be fighting for p15 and would be all up in each others business. there is a special kind of distrust and contempt and anger for the other that no one else recives bc they reserve it all for each other and this is why they’re best f1 rivalry of all time 😋 sorry alain

omfg yes lets go a lil crazy🌷🌷🌷🌷

My 4433/441 thoughts are always all over the place like I truly havent been able to pin them down since l started watching f1 because these 2 are both like super weird in very different ways and they have zero bridges u can cross between them except for this unreal fucking level of on sight hating that makes a rivalry soooo good u feel it in ur tummy

When I tell u in Austria the moment I heard Lewis impeded Max I knew the baddie was gonna unleash the wrath of an old testament god upon this incredibly inconsequential fl0p vehicle number 44 like. Sorry to the haters and losers but its very funny to ME 😭😭 Inspector Hamilton didnt even make much noise about this which is even funnier because either he knows he'll catch a stray for impeding first or he just cannot handle Max and his Raytheon hamilton sensors anymore like he's tired and his own tp is telling him to shut up like leave him alone. ((I doubt its the last we'll hear of it tho))

And yes 2021 like u said prolly changed the trajectory of their lives forever not just copse but like monza, brazil, Jeddah. Whats so fascinating about Max and Lewis is that for such enormously talented drivers they simply cannot let each other race normal. They leave each other more space and will still fumble because they want to pass so bad. As u put it, its distrust, but its also just racing. Its the purest form of racing there is lmfao these are both karting prodigies and they still revert back to that when they race each other. I said this once they're like 2 maddies from euphoria in 1 show. But this whole dynamic of uneasiness between them started way before 2021 tbh.

Even when Max was a teenager wid a cap and a dream and the rawest dawg inside that literally bit people and Lewis was settling back into the record books wid a glass of wine and an established, tamed dawg, he still made a point not to rate Max ever. Max was taboo. Didnt even call him by name sometimes like to his face literally called him 'guy' which is such an Hamilton ass old school way of acknowledging an Opp like look at this

F1 drivers are so insane. Anyway I think Max still feels some type of way about all that. A job will have u 19 years old getting bullied by a 33 year old that refuses to say ur name. Max pissed everybody off those days. He just wanted to do the lil debrief and the old heads truly did not give a fuck they were so mean to him. Lewis went thru a divorce too so this was all wrong person wrong place wrong time wrong car wrong team wrong wrong wrong. All wrong.

They were doomed from the start like they were set on a collision course since Max was born that was as inevitable as he is. And the noise around them has always been too loud. But they do try which I find very charming and kind of sad. Like one thing about Max and Lewis they're gonna have a lil giggle together about something dumb and that hasn’t changed

((I am convinced whatvr lewis showed him on his phone here was like deeply illegal))

((this presser is soooo like at some point Lewis leans over and whispers that theres a lot of girls there for the weekend and Max is like umm and Lewis is like oh u have a girlfriend right ew 🙄))

🫠🌷this was so cute pls

They share sm history together in the one thing that matters the most to both of them which is racing. Like the way Abu Dhabi happened bro, all that led to it, the amount of new eyeballs on the sport just thru sheer force of narrative and hubris. They built that together. Nobody else cud have done it. Like they share thirty five 1-2s in F1. 35 times one of them was first and the other was second. I think 3 more times on the podium and they break a record for most podiums shared oat. Thats not unimportant it’s not meaningless especially not to these 2 in particular. They’re special. They’re both so special and mercurial and they save the worst parts of themselves. the best part of themselves. to each other . Everybody else takes scraps. The spray aligns

Yeah. Like yk. the spray aligns

[kayetra-spade-queen]

Aight y'all, hear me out-

Have no one asked about the questionable nature of the adults in Little Singham, more particularly like Mantriji and Faulad Singh?

Cuz the truth is like Ajay isn't an isolated incident; there are kids before him in that program, he's the last member until I guess the program kinda disbanded and the other (former) members decided to take a different path instead after the whole shit show went down.

And LS isn't the only person either way as well; look no further than Super Squad, kids that are just like LS, had powers that they got from experiencing horrid stuff.

Veer was blown up (how is still in one piece dawg??).

Chinnu dove head first into a potion.

Shivaji from what I heard got it because he was experimented by Anggar.

LS got into an accident (he's still the youngest assuming Chinnu didn't join the defense forces at the time).

Aside from LS and Veer, and probably Joy because he's pretty clear himself, we have no clue how Faulad found Shivaji and Chinnu. We know their backstories, but not how they got recruited in the first place.

Did he deadass is on the hunt for super-powered children to put into his squad??

And let me just say that Faulad knew about Akira and VJ. Both are agents (VJ more on scientist and inventor), and the fact he didn't let Akira come home at the very least every once a while to see her own child to the point that said child's memory of how his mom even looked like was completely erased.

And even after LS reunite with his parents, he decided that it'll be a great idea to put LS together with BS and FH on high-rank missions (Ultimate Soldier, Tezaab, etc etc).

LS do putting the super in super cop, cuz the experiences he had in a span of a single year is insane.

One time he's in the military, then the air force, then the navy, now an agent that's the same level of his parents too?? Dawg??

And it was all because they saw Ajay stopping Kallu Ballu, recruiting him into the program, shit went down, then he was part of the official forces as the youngest cop known ro exist (which is why I said the SS are all older than him and probably because part of the official forces after him).

Mantriji is so fucking useless and a wuss istg- he relies on a child to save the town from petty thieves to literal Satan who put the color purple to shame. And then relied on him also to save the entire country, like, huh??

Y'all got so many officers with vast experiences and years themselves, and y'all relied on a fucking child to lead an entire army or to actually became a one-man army in for fights.

I rest my case; the entire town is quack, the top officers are quack.

[akgaereporter]

nct: taeyong and haechan's silly ass "scandals" recently

tldr: a week or so ago taeyong posted a tiktok with chaewon's "dododok" mistake and got so much hate from knetz he deleted it + a few members were dancing during yuta's ment at nct nation and people were calling them disrespectful for that but only focused on haechan.

so im coming to tumblr to rant because twitter stans are getting on my fawking nerves and i know everything i say on that hellish app is pointless because dumb btches will always be dumb btches.

honestly being an nctzen on twitter has never been enjoyable for an extended period of time because this godforsaken fandom is literally a homeless shelter for so many deranged chronically online kpop heads to beg for their pennies of attention. if we're being fr a lot of it has to do with the fcked up management of the group itself.. sm entertainment when i catch you in the streets ..

but recently the way two members in particular have been treated.. i cant even blame the fckass company for this level of degeneracy. yall just bitter and have an average screentime of 10 hours because how can you get so bored of supporting your fav you just start hating on them??? for no reason at all???

a couple days ago ty posted a tiktok with a silly remix audio of chaewons "dododok" mistake she made at a le sserafim's show on tour. that mistake literally went viral and basically all of the kpop industry laughed and copied it and called it cute, because that's what it is, just a cute little mistake we can giggle at and move tf on. the audio ty used was funny and created a trend that is currently going viral in korea.

instead of laughing, calling it a cute interaction, and going about their lives, knetz decided to wake up and be horrible people. what else is new bruh. of course big bad ty had an evil plan to mock the poor defenseless kim chaewon for her terrible mistake that deeply affected her..

please i almost kilt myself when i saw he deleted the tiktok. this is how jesus fans felt when he died like ty is quite literally an angel, his eyes sparkle and he giggles instead of laughing, how can you take him in as a person and still decide to actually bully him for next to nothing. like.. maybe you need to die idk.

and what gets me is the way they were acting like she said her dad died and he used an audio of that. its not that fcking serious dawg. she laughed at the damn joke herself and if they dont stop and pray that he privated the vid instead of deleting i will actually place a generational curse upon the families of pannchoa girls who cant keep his name out their mouth and I STAND BY THAT

and my bias, my boyfriend actually, my snookie ookie pookie bear haechan, god give me strength before i type this bullsht : during the last nct nation concert yuta started giving his ment in japanese, and some members at the other end of the line began dancing and messing around. they immediately stopped when ty motions them to. again, it isnt that fcking serious, but jobless neo investigators created discourse out of it. they didn't interrupt yuta or cause a fuss, they were literally just fidgeting around to pass the time because 20 speeches is a whole lot to listen to in silence.

but of course, its way more serious for nctzens, and furthermore haechan is the main evil villain of princess yutas fairy story. literally half the line started doing the dance but the only tweets getting likes included haechan's name. what the fck is wrong w these hoes seriously when i saw those tweets i thought they punched yuta in the face or sum. when i watched it i had a damn jaw drop at the audacity of these folk. they just keep getting worse at masking the animosity they have for their own favs, haechan in particular. yall claim to be his fans but jump on a hate train that isn't even 2 seconds old like.. are you even trying to like him? the video clearly shows the other members moving too, but somehow their eyes can only see haechans pretty little face and they just cant stand seeing him babygirling the way he did on the 17th of september 2023. it was never that fcking serious bitch, keep your nasty sticky keyboard fingers away from husband 1 and wife 2, i actually cannot stand seeing yall harass them for the stupidest pettiest shit this far and this many hits into their career. you literally know none of them have any ill intent behind the actions they do publicly, unless they say or do something outright offensive or malicious. so until they tell chaewon she's a stuttering ass bitch or roundhouse kick yuta off the stage, shut it up and stop using them for hit tweets damn

all of this just ties back to the fact nctzens are constantly watching THEIR OWN FAVS waiting for them to slip up. knetz chose ty and intlzens chose haechan. yall need to choose yourselves and get the fcking help you need because its not normal to hate on people you have a fan account for. be careful who you call oomf cause these fawking hybrid bitches got split personality disorders, all it takes is alt account and a dream. this is what happens when you choose silly idol boys instead of therapy and i mean that in the most helpful way

going to sleep mad asf smh

-also i was looking for taehyuck pics to put as a header for this post and i realized there's literally almost none?? hello?? haechan taeyong do yall even know each other?? not even a photoshoot or anything just some 10p quality debut pictures like damn haeyong nation yall are dead as hell 😢

[catis15]

I'm in gen Z and I've got friends who think like this

I wasn't too sheltered as a kid or a teen so like I don't agree with some but I can see the reasoning. Though the asking to masturbate one is wild, like wtf dude that's just like... A weird thing to ask. Also thought it was like a canon event for some ppl to masturbate to like the idea of ppl they found attractive. I've never done that cuz yeah it feels really fucking weird like dawg I know that person, but ASKING is so fucking wild man 😭

And actors younger than 18 what's that about? If it ain't got sexual content I don't see the problem as long as like workplace abuse isn't happening because it's pretty common to my knowledge in the industry.

Like how am I on the other side of my own generations BS 😂😭 I think I should be grateful??

Don't think not smoking and drinking is a bad thing though lmao. But I know a lot of my friends and I were shamed for sex related stuff by our parents. I mean when I was i think 16 or 17 my mother went through *private* ifykyk messages and continued to shame me for things that were said for a month or so after, even getting my MUCH younger sisters involved by telling them "Leaf is doing nasty things' or "Leaf is doing things she knows she shouldn't" and then she'd directly quote things I said to my partner as a way to embarrass me. Kinda weird looking back on it but my mom's kinda fucked up lol

But I had a lot of friends with similar experiences. It doesn't really create a safe place for what are pretty normal feelings :/

But then on the complete opposite side we have shows like Big Mouth and sites like AO3 where it's a very normal thing to be horny and have kinks and it's not shamed, sometimes even encouraged. We grew up wack y'all lol

So lines had to be drawn SOMEWHERE and for a lot of ppl my age it gets to be a little much

Like I have a friend who hates like any sort of sexual reference to underage characters. Which is totally fair they're underage it's whatever. But it's to the point he gets like defensive about it. And he's the dude who's pretty steadfast in his beliefs, but it got to the point even i thought it was a little weird. Like sometimes he'd get mad about making out or slightly heavier relationships between minors, eich again I can see the thought process, but also ppl are having sex by 16 or 17, and it makes sense that characters those ages would be doing similar things. I grew up reading books where teenagers did teenager things, and I feel like there is a level of age appropriate stuff? Like no dawg don't make full ass bdsm shit for teens but I feel like referenced or even vanilla type shit is fine????

I don't have a license so I can't talk-

Working on it though ;v;

And yeah lmao masturbate it's good for you (no literally there are studies saying it's good to do lmfao, like drinking a single glass of red wine before bed once a night is good for you... Unless your a recovering alcoholic then maybe not)

Sorry went on like a whole tangent lol but I'm bored and wanted to throw my two cents as someone who's got friends who think like op mentioned but I... Don't lol.

weird anti ideology finally leaking out into the mainstream

[milimima]

Shit still love all my friends even if Dey turned into opps. It’s take to much to hate somebody dawg. Cause me? Ima rl off ya ass. I can’t hate from a distance bitch u gon know I hate you. Tf being mad in my head by myself. If I think about the bad shit to much it’s only a few places you bouta catch me. Either nut house, jail house or court house idk what to tell ya

Shit happens. I can’t walk w y’all cause majority be dumb as shit. So surface level. Can only think about things one or two ways like it’s ain’t 6 billion other mfs just on dis planet. Foh moe I’m to ahead they think I’m gon bruh. My body is just catching up. I have bad days. Duh bitch I’m on earth. I’m good. Great amazing now. So glad. Bitch I’m free I thank you.

And honestly I apologize if I caused you any hurt, pain or confusion. Cause I swear I just wanted to bring you love and get the same from you. Oh well silly me 🤣

Damn. It’s crazy it’s okay tho. Damn Ik for keem it was prolly a whole another experience but the same. In a sense he was kind of built up for this moment. It’s time tho dude. We free. We can literally do whatever we want. Shit got consequences but shit like I said we can do whatever we want. I ain’t ever tryn hold somebody on G. Cause Ik what dat shit feel like. It’s alllll good my boiii. It’s all my fault. I take da blame. I was tryn fuck on you 🤣🤣🤣 nigga I was tryn save you. 🤣🤣🤣 jk you don’t need no saving. You like da streets. I’m every way lol. And I’ve done enough praying for you to last a lifetime. I just hope that you do. And if you do you get to see it through. You get experience love, peace, health and wealth boo. Final prayer.

This was fun. Never again tho. 😘🤍

[defensefilms]

The Sixers Are Gonna Do This Bro!!!!

“All that cute s### came to a cease”

Oh my gaaaaahd, Ooh my gaaaaahd, Wooooooooo!!!!!!

Yo dawg. This is happening, dawg. 

Look, we’ve been in this phase of Sixers history since Embiid’s first full season as a starter, and for all that time and even before, there was one team we could not beat, could not solve, could not account for , and even at times didn’t belong on the court with. 

In game 5, the most crucial game of the series, on Boston’s home court, we not only beat them, we forced thier starters to the bench with 3 minutes still to play in the 4th, because the score was a blowout. 

This was Boston’s great wakeup call, and at no point, did anyone believe they could lose a decisive game at home by the kind of margin that they did. 

Joel Embiid’s 3 to put the Sixers up by 17 with 8 minutes remaining in the 4th quarter, took the air out of TD Garden. All that cute s### came to a cease at that moment.

The whole idea that the Celtics are the better team is evaporating before our very eyes. They didn’t come close to making a come back. Maxey’s pull up 3 over Jayson Tatum with just under 4 minutes still remaining, sent their starters to the bench looking very meek while they were at it.

Celtics fans reportedly booed the home team off the court at the end of the game.

We hve waited for a statement game from Joel Embiid and this here was it.

33 points, 7 rebounds,  3 assists and 4 blocks, and it needs to be said that for the most part Embiid carries our defense. It’s not something that is just starting in these playoffs the bailout for any perimeter guy that gets blown by is that Joel Embiid is in the paint and he’s a great shot blocker.

He seemed more decisive tonight, Charles Barkley on NBA On TNT after the game noted how Embiid “either shot it quickly or passed it”, not allowing Horford to use his leverage and bother him.

Zach Lowe of ESPN noted how this was probably the first time the Celtics were truly scared to play Joel Embiid. The league MVP 1000% had that energy for the C’s in game 5. 

Tyrese Maxey is the most special young man in all of basketball.

I had literally given up hope that we were going to get a big game oout of him in this series, and he comes out and gives me 30 points, 7 rebounds and 3 assists, he was not bashful at all tonight, finally playing up to the level we know he is capable of and his performance was the catalyst and cherry on top of a collective Sixers performance that was just beautiful to witness.

He was absolutely fearless in game, I mean just attacking no matter who the switch is, made Marcus Smart go the wrong way several times, his last shot over Jasyon Tatum, no hesitation pull-up 3′s or going to the rim, he was incredible.

It was a lot of things in this game up anc including Tobias Harris’ best game of the season with 16 points, 11 rebounds and 1 assist, plus Doc River’s decision to paly Danuel House Jr over George Niang means he deserves his share of credit and recognizing the need for a more athletic guy in the lineup..

James Harden pitched in with a healthy 17 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists, he lived and did all his work at the freethorw line and again, the effect of that is how the Celtics can’t use thier athletecism in transition. I fully believe that Harden is not the problem with this team, even if we do have our problems.

Right now however, no team other then Golden State is in as much trouble as the Boston Celtics.

And now Boston Celtics, let me talk to you, playas.

Bro, do ya’ll really believe that you’re the better team, and if so then why?

Why do you believe that you’re better when you can’t stop Joel Embiid from routinely dropping 30+ points. How are you the better team when Marcus Smart and Derrick White are out here routinely selling games? 

Do you realize that Al Horford put up 0 points tonight. Is that a sign that the Celtics are better?

Jayson Tatum put up the least efficients 36 point game you’ll ever see out of him but the real issue with Tatum’s inefficient shooting night is that Jalen Brown was a very efficient 9-16 from the field and had 24 points, and this here is the problem with Boston.

Why can’t the Celtics star players have the kind of shot distribution between the two of them that leads to wins, instead of awkward disparities and uncharacteristically passive performances out of either of them at the absolute most inopportune of times.

I’m telling you, that the most concerning thing about the Celtics offense is that Jayson and Jalen do not run enough 2-man-game and pick’n’roll action between the two of them.

Game 6 will be the biggest in the careers of their top stars and potentially a deciding game for the future of the Celtics as a franchise.

[kiisaes]

seeing the "bakugou literally hates deku and will always hate deku, also he can never be forgiven from what he did in season 1" argument in the year 2021 and in the context of literally everything that has happened within the series is the funniest thing ever

"bakugou will always hate deku" when bakugou canonically

sees deku as a worthy rival (on the same level as/possibly higher than todoroki) and since UA, has never particularly considered deku to be weak

has been watching deku since the very beginning. he also pays very close attention to deku's moves when they fight

is the first student outside of deku to know about one for all and promised not to tell anyone about the secret, when he easily could if he really hated deku that much

actively helps deku with his training and figuring out more about the OFA holders

is capable of holding a normal conversation with deku now and is considerably more understanding, even after their awful history

has only genuinely broken down emotionally in front of deku, and has only been moderately comfortable with deku (and all might) seeing him as weak. as far as I'm aware, no other student has seen him cry before

is willing to die for deku. he is willing to lose everything - his quirk, his privileged life, his future - for deku

cares about deku and wants to keep him safe/alive because "something about him makes [bakugou] want to keep him at arm's length" (284)

doesn't seem to mind at all when deku, someone he supposedly "hates", calls him kacchan, an endearing, innocent childhood nickname even though they are both 16 and training to be mf heroes

loves deku platonically thanks to all the recent chapters, even if his own dumbass brain hasn't caught up to that yet. argue with the wall lmao

"bakugou can never be forgiven from what he did in season 1" when bakugou canonically

addressed that the shit he did to deku was terrible. he's taking full accountability for his past actions, which is something lots of kids his age IN REAL LIFE can't do yet. if you're gonna judge a fictional character by irl morals and ethics, at least be aware that plenty of bratty irl 16 year olds don't take the full blame when they fuck up because they're under the mindset that they're young and can afford to make big mistakes.

is actively trying to atone, and has probably been trying to do that since as early as deku vs kacchan part 2, which is fully animated in s3 and has been out for years now

doesn't want to take the easy way out of his wrongdoings (aka just asking for forgiveness and moving on). he told all might that he wants to atone, not deku. he wants to prove to deku that he's changing without deku automatically forgiving him

"bakugou literally told deku to k*ll himself"

yeah, when he was 14. lol. I know that doesn't excuse something as extreme as a death threat but have you MET middle schoolers? I've had my fair share of shitty bully experiences throughout my adolescence and now that I'm older, I recognize that they were young themselves and have probably been going through their own troubles. still doesn't excuse it, but just take his fucking age and his background into account. he's also trying to atone for that shit so what else do u fucking need from this 16 year old trauma magnet lmfao

in CHAPTER/EPISODE 1 OF THE WHOLE SERIES??? dawg that was YEARS ago. we are completely past that, keep up!

it's heavily implied that this comment was super out of nowhere, and nothing like what bakugou usually says to deku. his friends said that was really out of line. bakugou was probably also aware of how harsh it was. it's further shown in the small heroes rising promo manga, "deku and bakugou rising" (I think that's the name), that bakugou typically ignored deku and let him do his own thing, with only a couple mild verbal jabs here and there (the insults aren't even special to bakugou - deku was quirkless, meaning that he was getting teased by literally everyone in the messed up quirk society)

deku didn't take this comment to heart and canonically cared more about BAKUGOU'S reputation after saying something so insensitive. he never once thought about actually "taking a swan dive". he may have low self esteem but he's not THAT swayed by outside opinion. in fact, he's really fucking stubborn and nobody has phased him from his hero dream except all might, his literal childhood idol, in the second chapter/episode. and even that lasted for like 5 minutes lol

people are allowed to grow and change into better people, janica. that's called character development. it's called growth in the real world.

like shit dude you don't have to romantically ship bakudeku - hell you don't even have to like them as a duo - but at least acknowledge that horikoshi is putting bakugou through a real character arc. I promise you, the current bakugou/deku dynamic is much more appealing than your season 1 echo chamber. we've moved on from the "bakugou and deku can never be on good terms" boat. we passed that ages ago LMAO

[krakensdottir]

I attempted to transcribe it for people using screen readers, I hope I did alright. Here’s the thread, friends.

Transcript of a Twitter thread by fooler initiative (@metroadlib) on June 9, 2023:

I LITERALLY stopped working on my memo so I could read this indictment.

I am on page 24 and JESUS LUPITA NYONG’O CHRIST.

HOW this man still has the capacity to shock me after everything that’s happened, i’ll never know.

but I am sitting here *STUNNED*.

I’ll be honest–

Because i really DO lean into naivete sometimes. It’s difficult for me to assume the worst from people, even when they have done all of the worst things.

So this wholllllle time, i’ve been thinking, “wonder why he didn’t give back those docs. He’s probably lost them.”

And also, “this dingus just grabbed shit from the White House because he’s too stupid to know he couldn’t. he probably doesn’t even realize what he has.”

Lol.

Nooooooooooooooooooooope.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.

This was a DELIBERATE and CONCERTED effort to remove the most sensitive docs the country has, and KEEP them…and then SHOW THEM TO PEOPLE AT HIS LEISURE WHILE *ACKNOWLEDGING* THAT HE WAS NEITHER SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM OR SHOW THEM…

He haphazardly stored the docs ANY DAMNED WHERE…INCLUDING…IN A GODDAMNED BATHROOM SHOWER…they were chucked to some random room in Mar a Lago, and occasionally the boxes–because there were SOOOOOOOOO MANY– would tumble down…And TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS…DOCUMENTS HAVING TO DO WITH DEFENSE PLANS, MILITARY CAMPAIGNS, NUKES, YOU NAME IT…DOCUMENTS *CLEARLY MARKED* “TOP SECRET” AND “SECRET” AND “CONFIDENTIAL” AND TWO OTHER DESIGNATIONS I’D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE TODAY…BUT WHICH APPARENTLY MEAN SUPER DUPER DUPER DOUBLE PINKY SWEARSIES REALSIES SECRET…WOULD JUST…SPILL OUT ONTO THE GODDAMN FLOOR…AND LIE THERE…EXPOSED FOR ALL TO SEE…JUST…NAKED AND BARING ALL TO THE WORLD LIKE A NATIONAL SECURITY FULL MONTY.

AND AS IF *THAT* WEREN’T ENOUGH…the Archives asked this MF fifty-leven times to give all this stuff back. And 45 would be all, “I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I GOT. DAMN. SHIT. THERE’S NOTHING HERE.”

THEN HE WOULD HAVE HIS AIDES MOVE THE BOXES…AND HE WOULD TRAVEL WITH THE BOXES.

And some member of his family…Ivanka or Melania or Lara…ALSO knew he had the boxes…

But he would TRAVEL WITH THEM. BECAUSE THAT WAS–PRESUMABLY–THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE HE KEPT THEM.

BUT WHAT’S WILDER STILL…IS THAT THIS MF HAD LAWYERS WHO WERE LIKE, “Fam. For serious. You need to turn in ANYTHING that you have that is a file and belongs to the US Government. DEAD. ASS.”

And 45 was all…TO THE LAWYERS…TO THESE OFFICERS OF THE COURT…”couldn’t y’all just tell them there’s nothing here?” and “wouldn’t it be better if we just…kinda like…burned all this shit…you know…if it were here…*hypothetically*.”

And one lawyer was all…

And he was like, “you got this subpoena on May 11. I’m coming through on the first of the month to run through that WHOLE SHIT…and I’ma make sure *NOTHING* that belongs to THESE UNITED ASS STATES is in that garish monstrosity you pretend is a house.”

SO 45 has his body man and his aides MOVE THE BOXES AGAIN. LIKE JUST…SCORES OF BOXES…HE HAS THEM MOVE A GAZILLION BOXES AGAIN…TO HIDE THEM FROM…HIS *LAWYERS*.

AND THENNNNNN…THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DAY HIS LAWYER IS SUPPOSED TO COME THROUGH…HE CALLED HIM…AND WAS LIKE, “Aye, dawg. You still coming tomorrow? I was sitting here talking to the homies and like…we don’t know why you’re coming. Why are you coming?”

And the lawyer was like, (*presumably deep sigh here*), “I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I’m coming through to move through the house and make sure I can tell them we complied with the subpoena. I’m gonna make sure you don’t have anything you’re not supposed to. Okay?”

And 45 is like, “OHHHHH! Right. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcool…cool. Come on through, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Then he hung up.

AND HAD HIS BODYMAN MOVE MORE BOXES.

I have to keep reading. But what I really need you to know, is that whoever drafted this is giving us NEXT LEVEL caliber Dorian Corey shade.

Because SPRINKLED THROUGHOUT…are excerpts from quotes that Donald Trump gave the press during campaigns and his presidency–boasting about how good he’d be at keeping this country’s secrets safe…how we needed a return to discretion and how people who violated national security laws and breached the protections afforded our most sensitive docs needed to be punished with the full might of the law.

For real.

For real.

GASP.

The lawyer went to Mar a Lago, and 45 and his aides were just sitting there, like, “oh yeah. This guy wants to make sure we’ve turned all the stuff in. somebody take him back to the room and make sure he’s comfortable.”

The lawyer goes, looks around…and finds 38 things that were top secret.

And, honest to God…I think they left that stuff there deliberately so that it wouldn’t look like they’d cleaned house.

So the lawyer packages up what’s left…goes back out, and 45 has the AU-GODDAMNED-DACITY TO BE LIKE, “Wassup? How we lookin’?”

HAND TO GOD, this man says, “Is it good? Is it bad?”

AS THOUGH HE HADN’T DIRECTED EVERYONE TO CLEAN HOUSE.

THEN when the lawyer shrugs and indicates that there’s still some Chester Copperpot level shit in the box he’s carrying, 45 MIMES taking out the secret stuff and disposing of it…MIMES.

WITH HIS WEE HANDS.

The lawyer apparently ignores it, and is like, “Okay. I’m gonna bring in last lawyer and I’m gonna tell her that I went all the way through everything you said you had. Then I’m gonna tell her that what I’m holding RIGHT NOW is the last of ANYthing that you have and aren’t supposed to. SO IF THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS HOUSE, TELL ME NOW. CAUSE SHE’S COMING WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS PAPER THAT I AM TENDERING TO THE FEDS…AND WE DON’T LIE TO THE FEDS…SO IS THIS IT, DONALD?”

And 45 is like, “on my mama.”

So the lawyer brings the other lawyer in, and is like, “This is it. This is everything. So you can safely put your good name and your good Bar ID number on this super official sworn statement. Because 45 said this is it and we’ve complied.”

Let me just stop for a moment, right here and tell you that I would *literally* die first…

I would *literally* *DIE* before I relied on that man’s representations.

I’d lie down in the center of my living room floor–cover myself up in a blanket–rollllllll fro wall to wall, back and forth, until I was Dexter secure in the bedding–and then will my body to cease breathing…before I’d put MY NAME on some shit off the STRENGTH of Donald Gargamel John Trump’s word.

So the lawyers turned that weak ass certification in…and told the NATIONAL ARCHIVES RECORDS ADMINISTRATION…THE ENTITY CHARGED WITH THE TASK OF MAINTAINING OUR COLLECTIVE MEMORY AS A NATION…

“That’s all we got.”

AS IF THIS FEDERAL AGENCY…WHOSE *CHIEF* RESPONSIBILITY IS *LITERALLY* TO *KEEP* THINGS…WOULDN’T KNOW…THIS VERITABLE MOUNTAIN OF DOCUMENTS…WAS MISSING.

...Just read this thread. JUST READ IT.

[thebellekeys]

I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

[superm4ks]

this drs thing is not gonna work for rb and it’s gonna make everyone slower and then rb are gonna dominate even more AGAIN 😭 and then the tps/fia are gonna be like what can we do about Red Bulls dominance?!?!?

What can they do, that’s the q isn’t it. I thought we cud sit together and do a very gentle analysis of these AMuS rumors, translated by the ever iconic house of tifosi heavyeight tami, and its accompanying cunty lil graphic of top speeds in spa, wid and without drs

"No other car gains that much speed with DRS activated than the Red Bull. Ferrari was able to close the gap a bit. Mercedes and McLaren still have some work to do. The DRS effect plays massively into Red Bull's cards wherever there are three DRS zones or the DRS sections are disproportionately long. Apparently F1 has plans to only allow DRS in the race and not in quali anymore. If those plans succeed, it would hurt Red Bull the most."

Lets start wid something that shud be immediately obvious: removing DRS in quali is not just gonna ‘hurt’ the team wid the most powerful DRS, its gonna hurt all the teams, regardless of how their own DRS performs. DRS, and the suspension/front and rear are all built in conformity wid the new regs, they're a complete package, drs is not just a magical button that lets Verstappen drop .800s on his teammates head like a super power. Its a natural progression of what what was once a simpler, less ambitious race-focused project: reduce drag, help cars overtake, stay awake, period. Quali’ purpose is to put together the fastest lap. Literally the whole point of measuring performance over one lap is that u need the car to achieve its top speed. DRS can help wid that, but not all drivers know how to maximize their quali setups, let alone DRS, which is how u get a dawg like sharl vs somebody like lance stroll.

Despite the scary picture AMuS is trying to paint here, there aren't always 3 drs zones and they're not always ‘disproportionally’ long. Monaco a perfect example of this. rb19 ‘DRS advantage’, if u wanna call it that, in Monaco quali, had nothing do wid super gains on a straight. Max and Nando both used that single DRS activation zone to improve their exits. Thats flat out, pure skill, and there is not a button in their car that cud have told them how to do it. Max did it so well he bagged an all timer. Thats the best possible lap u cud have put together in Monaco and like it or not DRS actually gave Nando a fighting chance, levelled the field up until Max pulled those final sectors out of his ass wid pure mastery of his ground effect car. So here u have a drs aided quali session that still went down to the wire, because drs, again, isn’t just a magical speed button anymore, and it does work as part of a whole, driver and setup.

Now lets break down fig. 1: Top-Speed-Vergleich GP Belgien 2023 🌷

As u can c its a top bitches only event, it excludes some interesting torpedo cars I wud love to analyze too, like for example that ungodly Williams.

Also some comments on Spa. Spa has 2 DRS zones. Its a particularly representative circuit because of its mixture of long straights, low and high speed corners. Its an old school type of track, very cerebral, very strategic. Its the longest track in f1, and one of the quickest too. Obvi u got eau rouge. But then also the kemmel straight. So overall a pretty good place to give these machines a stretch and put tire management skills to the test.

rbr gains 20,3 kph wid DRS open, but without drs, top speed is still a whopping 320,5 kph. Rocket. However,

Ferrari gains 19kph wid drs. Their top speed sits at about ~2kph less than rb19 wid or without drag, cud have been a comfortable pole for sharl wid how the Ferrari car was setup. The only reason he didnt get it was because he couldnt put a good lap together.

15,3kph gained from mclaren's DRS. No DRS, they settle at 311,6 kph. Mclaren never did benefit much from DRS, but they seem to be hunting down a rbr solution for that, and wid moderate success. Mclaren particularly monstrous in medium speed corners, prolly one of the best cars in the grid. Spa not so kind to them in this regard. Still, a very VERY strong lap from Oscar in the shootout ((no drs)) to nearly take it from Max ((11 tenths to pole)). Imo Max cud have hustled a lil more, he chose not to, this time it was enough.

only 10 kph gained wid DRS for M£rc's surprisingly respectable top speed of 319,8kph wid Lewis’ setup. 0,2kph separated them from the rb19 rocket when drs isn’t available. Softs and an empty tank are the w14s best friend. BUT

DRS added ‼️25 kph‼️ ((😐)) to GR's m£rc in Spa. Even tho this is a bigger gain than even the rb19 it’s not at all representative. His top speed was already lacking in comparison to Lewis' at 327,5kph. Difference between the m£rcs and their DRS efficacy can be explained wid George's very aggressive setup for Sunday that didn’t quite work even though it was a nice try. w14 has the operating window of a ripped plastic bag.

AMuS absolutely correct, 20,3 kph less on a straight wud hurt rb19 in quali, as its literally the highest advantage gain wid drs. However, even tho again all of this is speculation, we're just going by whats being reported, and they've had some misses lately, rb19 still the 'fastest' car wid or without drs. 340,8kph and 320,8kph is still the top of the table.😐 Lets not even bring management, drag, aerodynamics or god forbid, driver skill to it. Realistically, the teams that are able to fight Max for p0le either via outstanding conditions or new formats that don’t allow drs, f£rrari and m£rc, have both failed to capitalize on Sundays and beat Max for 8 straight races. Thats because rb19 is not a drs powered rocket, its simply the best ground effect car in f1, and the drs is a result of that, not the other way around.

So. What IS the purpose of a drs quali ban? Whats the justification for something like that? Wud they bring up 'entertainment value' or, worse, attempt to make it about 'competition'? And what type of message does that send to these other teams, to fans and drivers, and the culture of f1 in general, about the grids own competence, or lack thereof?

[mackmontgomery]

"I don't think I could have outdid Slendermack, the people loved that."

He's of course not counting Maura and other attendees at Sharky's who had literally ran from him in confused terror, but like anyone else who didn't like him and his antics, he's certain he just needed a little longer around them to make a better impression.

"No sandbags from me, and usually I'm a prop guy." Mack has a whole closet full of items that he had only owned specifically for elaborately storyboarded roleplays with Fiona that he's not sure will ever have a use again. "But I thought I'd scale it back. This is lowkey for me."

( Next time he would be lowkey, he's locking that in with himself. )

"You might not know what color suits you but that does." He gestures to what he can see that Wes can't, that look in his eye as he speaks about Liza. "Love looks good on you dawg, it's nice to see you happy."

It's rare to find and easy to lose, and he's done both in equal measure to varying levels of regrets.

"Haven't seen her yet though, not sure I will cause these masks are confusing the hell out of me. Tell her to come say hi when you catch up with her. I think I'd be the easier one to find. Phantom and all, y'know."

@wesxevans

"I feel like this would've killed at the Halloween party." Wes grinned as he folded his arms over his chest, his eyes moving over his friend's outfit to take it all in. "Just don't go all out and start trying to drop sand bags on people and all that shit." Wes had never actually seen the musical but he vaguely remembered something like that from the times his sister watched it.

"Thanks. I just don't think anything with color suits me. Which, now that I say that, it kind of sounds depressing." He scrunched up his nose, making a face at himself for being so... meh. "She's talking with her friend. Roxy, I think. Have you seen her tonight? Liza looks amazing." Because he was always heart eyes for that woman and he couldn't help but point out her beauty to everyone else. Not that he really needed to.

@mackmontgomery

[theskeleton-system]

A Fungus Dangerclaw Masterpost

This is a post about Fungus' relationship with every Grumpus on Snaktooth;

Filbo

•definitely stumbled upon Fungus while looking for Liz

•was initially friendly toward Fungus, until Fungus took it personally and chased Filbo out of the woods, growling and claws beared

•when Fungus inevitably stays in town with the others, Filbo is rightfully so still apprehensive, but as Fungus warms up to him, he warms up to Fungus

•Fungus never learns his name, but knows the word Mayor, so calls him that (it is a constant Filbo Confidence Boost [tm])

Wambus

•would meet Fungus when they'd have come to town

•Fungus has absolutely attacked Wambus, he's the biggest man in town and Fungus believes in fighting for dominance, so he attacks him to become the Alpha of town lol

•Wambus doesnt like to make eye contact with Fungus due to this very event

•Fungus does eventually calm down when Wambus lets them rummage in the farm sometimes; it turns out Fungus is handy for digging holes to plant more crops

•after a while of Fungus trusting Wambus, she starts bringing sticks to the farm and burying them in hopes of growing crops too

•Wambus eventually decides he's adopting them. No arguments.

Beffica

•is morbidly curious of Fungus (that feeling is mutual)

•Beffica has absolutely kept Fungus in her cave out of storms, and so is probably the closest thing to a friend at first to Fungus

•she likes to paint his claws, and he loves to watch her do it, he also loves picking out the colours (pink is his favourite)

•Beffica will sit Fungus down and gossip to them while she paints their nails and brushes their fur, Fungus has no idea what she's saying, but likes to feel included and picks up on some words

•the few words he's learnt from Beff are "Squeeb", "Like", and "OMGee"

•Beffica does understand that Fungus can be dangerous, and she knows when to stop pushing their buttons

Gramble

•Gramble met Fungus in the middle of the night, when they broke into town to steal supplies

•Fungus DIDN'T attack Gramble, only because he's smaller than Fungus and therefore not deemed a threat

•when Fungus stays in town, they become enamored by the barn, and the Bugsnax there (because Fungus refuses to eat them too) and hangs out in the outdoor pen with them

•Fungus inevitably imprints on Gramble and begins following him around and bringing him Bugsnax that are very hard to catch (cheepoofs, grapesketos, lollives, scoopy banoopys) and Gramble is Confused.jpeg

•Gramble learns to trust Fungus when the first fight breaks out at the party (The "that's why your wife left you" Scene) and Fungus defends Gramble, literally standing between him and Wambus

•now Gramble accepts Fungus as family, and is just mildly frightened of them

Wiggle

•with Fungus constantly following Gramble around, it was only a matter of time until they met Wiggle

•Fungus took one look at her and was prepared to fight a bitch, but when Gramble stopped them from attacking her, they stopped being aggressive

•Fungus definitely wants that pink fluffy scarf around Wiggle's neck, but hasn't devised a plan to steal it yet

•Fungus doesnt understand how instruments work, so when Wiggle starts playing her banjo, Fungus is simultaneously frightened and interested

•Fungus begins loving listening to Wiggle's music and starts hitting the ground in percussion with the music

•Wiggle will never pass up on an adoring fan of course, and starts teaching Fungus how to make music, Fungus learns nothing, but is happy to have attention

•Fungus has ended up with the Banjo before, and absolutely tried to eat it

•(Fungus has worn Wiggle's glasses before and was fully prepared to wear them forever)

Triffany

•Triffany would find Fungus in one of the ruins, probably lost

•Triffany would be confused, but curious

•Fungus trusts Triffany quickly, as she's sensible and knows a feral creature when she sees one, so takes her time

•Fungus likes to try and help piece history together with Triffany, but obviously he has no idea what he's ever doing, so he isn't really much help

•Triffany's accent is completely foreign to Fungus, so they can have problems understanding some of her pronunciations, however, they absolutely adore her accent and loves listening to her talk

•Triffany is most likely the Grumpus who brought Fungus to town, probably to show Wambus the creature she adopted, and ask Floofty if any of this makes sense

•Fungus likes to chew on bones Triffany gives him, it helps sharpen his teeth and subdue his pure, feral rage

Cromdo

•Fungus would take a VERY long time to trust Cromdo, due to his sleezy nature

•Fungus absolutely wants whatever Cromdo is selling (because they're a hoarder) but doesn't know of the economy, only knows stick. Fungus will buy material objects with sticks and leaves or Cromdo will die

•a sick part of Cromdo wants to sell Fungus to Floofty for science, but knows that would be the second most illegal thing he's ever done (Grumpus Trafficking is no joke-)

•Fungus would probably want a tie, let's be honest

•to Cromdo, Fungus is like a cat, running around scratching the walls and knocking things off of tables

•Cromdo isn't afraid to scold Fungus, and Fungus will learn to listen in due time

•despite the tension and issues the two have, Fungus does it to show care for Cromdo, everyone knows this but Cromdo

•Fungus likes the word "Pal"

Chandlo

•Chandlo is Fungus' favourite. No questions asked.

•he found Fungus in a tree and brought him home to Snorpy, like gay people do

•"Snorp-dawg, I found a cryptid!"

"you WHAT"

•Fungus appreciates Chandlo so fucking much

•didn't attack for same reason as Gramble (small = not a threat)

•Chandlo likes Fungus because they're a hard-core survivor of the wild, and Chandlo vibes with that

•Fungus originally likes to watch Chandlo work out, finding it fascinating; but eventually starts joining in when Chandlo offers

•Chandlo just wants to keep this feral creature, that is all

•Fungus learns so many words from Chandlo, that he accidentally turns Fungus into a feral version of himself

Snorpy

•Snopry is (rightfully so) terrified of Fungus

•what is it? What's it gender? Why does it barely speak? How much sentience does it have? DOES IT WORK FOR THE GRUMPINATI??!

•but of course, Chandlo wants to keep it and Snorpy can't say no, so he ends up playing babysitter when Chandlo is gone

•Fungus, on the other hand, is enamored. Obviously-

•Fungus understands so little when it comes to Snorpy, all these conspiracies and big words and intricate connections, Fungus has no brain

•Fungus likes to listen though, and likes to look at the conspiracy board (also likes to hoard all the red string lol)

•of course Snorpy warms up to them, mostly when Floofty starts trying to steal them for experiments; Snorpy feels a newfound need to protect this gremlin from his mad scientist sibling

•Fungus just likes the attention

Floofty

•Floofty kidnaps Fungus for experiments (not clickbait)

•I mean, can you blame them? How does Fungus exist? A completely feral Grumpus in a society of modernized, evolved, civilised Grumpuses? They gotta know how Fungus works

•however, Floofty underestimated Fungus' energy, and now they're shouting at a gremlin, who is barking back at them

•Floofty loses so much sleep over keeping Fungus in one place.

•"fascinating...your survival instinct is completely intact- stop chewing my leg."

•Floofty tries to teach Fungus basic language, but learns the next day that Fungus forget everything they learnt

•Fungus doesn't know what to make of Floofty

•Is this good or bad? Friend or foe?

•if Floofty has to hurt Fungus to get what they want, they WILL be attacked (i.e taking blood or testing pain level)

•sometimes Floofty just snaps and throws Fungus into a river to "experiment" if Fungus can swim

•Fungus does like the attention though

Shelda

•Shelda is one of the only Grumpuses that Fungus shows concern and care for OPENLY

•He gives her gifts of sticks and rocks and leaves, and he'll throw a tantrum if she won't take them

•he likes to sit next to her while she meditates so she doesn't get lonely 😳😳

•the only problem with this is that Fungus is easily bored, and will start making noises and bumping rocks together

•and it's very distracting when you're trying to meditate

•But Fungus knows this and tries to behave as best as they can, they wanna make Grandma Shelda happy

•they become a part of Shelda's little fanclub, and listens to her wisdom despite not knowing ANYTHING she's saying

•he pretends he knows, nodding and agreeing all the time

Eggabell

•Eggabell, being a doctor, just wants to get her hands on Fungus to take care of him

•I mean, he's messy, and covered in mud and sticks and leaves

•he probably has the Grumpus equivalent of mange

•he DEFINITELY has fleas

•and she just wants to sit them down and clean them up

•but Fungus isn't having it, and is actually a little scared of Eggabell, as they don't know why she wants them to stay still

•Fungus will learn to trust her, and let her take care of the fleas and rabies and mange

•and when he does, he will never leave her side afterwards. He'll recognise she made him feel better and constantly want her attention

•He may get a little distracting for her sometimes, but she knows he means well

•also, because Fungus is a good listener, Eggabell airs her problems out to them, she knows they don't know what she's saying, but it's nice to rant to them while they eat a whole tree, bit by bit

Lizbert

•there isn't many opportunities where Liz and Fungus would interact sadly, however, I feel like if they did they would get along far too well

•Liz bringing Fungus on adventures around the island? Fungus showing Liz little cave systems they've found so she has shortcuts around the areas? Makes my heart ache-

•Fungus wants the hat, give her the hat Liz-

•because Liz is such a simple name, it would most likely be the only one Fungus would learn

•I can imagine Liz getting distracted from studying Bugsnax and instead studying Fungus, until Filbo or Egg reminds her she has more important things to do

•Fungus is incredibly agile, and I can imagine them scaling trees or cliffs and finding a safer route for Liz to take

•Fungus is Liz's emotional support adventure dog

The Journalist

This would be in terms of if Fungus was a character you'd meet;

•You would meet Fungus in Sugarpine Woods, but somewhere far away from Chandlo and Snorpy.

•Fungus would flee from you once spotted (sorta like the Snaxsquach, but not at certain times).

•You would then have a quest to ask around to see if anyone knew what this Grumpus was (and you would receive a resounding "no").

•The puzzle would then be figuring out how to cohearse Fungus into trusting you, which would be with sticks and rocks, making a pile of them to bait Fungus from hiding.

•Once you would have their trust, you would still have quests to complete before they move from their spot and follow you to town, this would include collecting more sticks and rocks, and finding Bugsnax so Fungus can have friends.

•They'd communicate these quests very poorly, you would probably have to rely on the quest descriptions to figure out what the objective is.

•After enough errands, Fungus would make a happy noise and start following you around. Then, if you walk into town, you approach Filbo and he takes Fungus off your hands.

•When you return to Snaxburg, it's in anarchy as Fungus has gotten out of control. Your next objective is "survive". Eventually, through sticks, rocks and leaves, you calm Fungus down enough for them to live in Snaxburg without killing anyone.

•However, some side-quests would involve Fungus, and the other residents having to deal with them now.

I had this neat idea that all this is optional, you don't have to even do the main quest for Fungus because they weren't supposed to be part of the expedition and know no one. So why interview them, not like you can anyway. You can escape Snaktooth with all the normal residents and leave Fungus on the island, then their fate would be left unknown (but man I'd feel guilty for it 😟).

[americanegg]

egg’s digestible guide for attainable rides: cyberpunk 2077

(cheap to mad expensive) post then later a (free quest cars) post

Car Model >  €$ (Fixer). All details about each are my own experience. Location of vehicle by district and waypoint.

(Reminder that if you’re short on eddies you can do Gigs, Sidequests, and “Assault in Progress” mini quests to get rich and level up.)

1. Thorton Galena G240 > €$ 13,000 (Regina)

Rusty hunk of junk but functional, especially after your car gets bodied in the beginning of Act 2. Located in the garage of your apartment building.

2. Makigai MaiMai P126 >  €$ 14,000 (Wakako)

Small. Super fucking small but decent and could turn into a red bullet on the highway at the cost of absolutely no control on your turns. Located in the southern part of Charter Hill, Westbrook sitting neatly in a small parking lot.

3. Mahir Supron FS3 >  €$ 16,000 (Reyes)

Sort of van type situation but compact. Cheap and definitely made of plastic. Like it says that in the lore. Located East from Hargreaves St waypoint in Arroyo.

4. Chevillon Thrax 388 Jefferson >  €$ 17,000 (Padre)

It’s a smooth ride, I’ll give Padre that. Long in length and takes years to turn with but it’s not made for street racing so it’s still decent for traffic and looking like a corpo. Located directly South of the Pumping Station waypoint in Wellsprings.

5. Villefort Columbus V340-F Freight >  €$ 19,000 (Dino)

Another van-type situation with plenty of seating. Could drive your kids to soccer with this one and get there in one piece. Average vehicle overall but can go 210mph if needed. Located SouthWest of the Downtown Central waypoint and sitting in a parking lot.

6. Thorton Galena “Gecko” >  €$ 21,000 (Dakota)

Found in the Badlands this is a great choice for rocky roads at 100mph. Go crazy and go stupid outside the city with this bad boy. Shred rubber and whatnot. Be wary of turns and speed in rocky areas as you can make as much airtime as a dirtbike on a ramp! Located SouthWest of the Old Turbines waypoint in the Eastern Badlands.

This is where Street Cred Level will come into play along with your pocket full of eddies:

(cred = streetcred level)

7. Kaiba Kusanagi CT-3X >  €$ 22,000 > 12 cred (Wakako)

Right after Jackie’s Arch, this is my favorite ride in the game. She’s sleek, perfect for bypassing traffic, and very well-designed. Located in an abandoned parking lot in Japantown, Westbrook directly NorthEast of the Skyline and Salinas waypoint.

8. Archer Quartz EC-L R275 > €$ 29,000 > 12 cred (Regina)

Another great set of wheels for burning rubber and kicking up sand in the Badlands, if you have the eddies for it. Located South of the Offshore St waypoint in Northside and immediately next to a Neutralize the Perps mini quest.

9. Chevillon Emperor 620 Ragnar >  €$ 32,000 > 12 cred (Dino)

First of the heavy duty SUV you acquire at 30k eddies. Didn’t drive this one very much since I’m a small and sleek kinda dude but if you need to ram a taxi or show off to your video game girlfriend your chunky ride, here is the car for you. Located in Corpo Plaza SouthWest of Arasaka Tower waypoint or NorthWest of Reconciliation Park waypoint.

10. Villefort Cortes V5000 Valor >  €$ 37,000 > 12 cred (Padre)

If you want to look like an asshole you can check this one out. Pretty much a bougie limosine type situation. Long car so long turns my guy. Located in Wellsprings, Heywood sitting in a parking lot West of Berkeley & Bay waypoint. 11. Thorton Colby C240T (aka Thorton Colby C125) >  €$ 39,000 > 20 cred (Regina)

Vehicles to pick up your gf/bf and go to a drive-in theater with? This one. Smooth ride with plenty of seating to do you know what at said drive-in theater definitely not watching Bushido 3. Located Northside, Westbrook South of the Docks waypoint in a small parking lot in front of the Ded Zed clothing store.

12. Thorton Colby CX410 Butte (Green) >  €$ 43,000 > 12 cred (Reyes)

Imma be honest... I’m a slut for Thorton car models. This one is straight up satisfying to my ears and eyes. Located in the parking lot of PieZ waypoint in Rancho Coronado, Santo Domingo.

13. Thorton Colby “Little Mule” >  €$ 49,000 > 12 cred (Dakota)

Truckin and fuckin around the Badlands? This is definitely the car for you!  Located near the Sunset Motel parking lot in the Eastern Badlands.

14. Quadra Type-66 Avenger >  €$ 55,000 > 20 cred (Dino)

Remember those Need for Speed games? No? Well imagine it for a second and look at this preem ride. Got that image in your mind? Now look at your wallet. Located West of Metro: Republic Way waypoint tucked under the Empathy club building.

15. Quadra Type-66 “Jen Rowley” (aka Quadra Type-66 640 TS)  >  €$ 58,000 > 20 cred (Reyes)

If you haven’t noticed, Quadra Type-66 are very good at designing cars that make you look like you shred these streets since you were a babe. Like, Baby from Baby Driver would fuck this ride up, you know it choom. Located West of Kendal Park waypoint in Rancho Coronado, no more than 2-minute walk away.

16. Villefort Alvarado V4F 570 Delegate >  €$ 62,000 > 20 cred (Padre)

Another Limo! I’ll be honest, six wheels on a car this low is crazy but Villefort always finds a way. This is the ride you’d drive to your corpo apartment to go pick up your corpo wife so you can take your corpo ride to a nearby corpo restaurant and only drink Spunky Monkey in a wine bottle. Located directly West of the Palms View Way waypoint in The Glen.

17. Herrera Outlaw GTS >  €$ 62,000 > 30 cred (Dino)

Limousine type body but god damn if it ain’t gorgeous to look at. A real sexy piece of wheels, this one. Located in Corpo Plaza, North of Ring Road waypoint. 

18. Quadra Type-66 “Javelina” >  €$ 73,000 > 30 cred (Dakota)

God am I a fan of rides that pick up hefts of sand and dirt? Yeah, I am. Do I love how this car looks? Absolutely. As a Nomad V, is this one of the sexiest rides you can get? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. Located in Southern Badlands near the Protein Farm waypoint.

19. Mizutani Shion MZ2 >  €$ 75,000 > 30 cred (Regina)

Not gonna lie, this is the car that occupies my headspace every time I boot up Cyberpunk. Maybe it’s the name, maybe it’s the design, maybe it’s the car I would take to my honeymoon, idk. Located in the same garage as the Thorton Galena in Little China, Watson.

20. Quadra Type-66 “Cthulhu” >  €$ 76,000 > No cred requirement (Regina or Sampson)

Condition to receive for free: Sparing Samson in “The Beast In Me” side quest

Okay other than Beast which is a chonky beast this one is a very speedy beast with classic racecar features but bulky armor. The wiki literally says this ride has 666 horsepower so you KNOW this shit is gonna slap as soon as you get in and hear that engine, dawg.  Can be found in Little China, Watson in Megabuilding H10.

21. Brennan Apollo >  €$ 94,000 > 30 cred (Padre)

If you thought Jackie’s ARCH and the Yaiba Kusanagi was sexy boy you will not be disappointed. Smaller and more compact but a speedy on the highways and countryside. Side Effect is you’ll look like the coolest pizza delivery driver in Night City. Located in Vista Del Ray, Heywood a short walk away East of Delamain HQ waypoint. 22. Mizutani Shion “Coyote” >  €$ 115,000 > 20 cred (Dakota)

... Look at her. Just... just look at her. Look at those wheels, that build, the spoiler, look at her! I would own so many Hot Wheels and have her in a display case alright. Like, you know what you’re signing up for at 100k eddies for Dakota. Like this car that was originally used for scooting around the city was LITERALLY modded for the Badlands. As a Nomad this is a must-have. Located in the Eastern Badlands, North of the Sunshine Motel waypoint.

23. Thorton Mackinaw MTL1 >  €$ 128,000 > 30 cred (Reyes)

The most SUV that ever SUV’ed in Night City. Reyes calls you for this one and shit, it’s new, it’s spotless, it’s a shiny new car, and trouncing down Badlands, the streets of Kabuki, Pacifica, name it. This beaut does go maximum of around 150mph but with how big this bad boy is, it can charge through the highways but be wary of how you turn corners! Located around the block from the Red Dirt Bar waypoint to the East in Arroyo, Santo Domingo.

24. Quadra Turbo-R 740 >  €$ 129,000 > 30 cred (Wakako)

TURBO-TASTIC ride. Again, of racecar design, you can almost smell the 1980s nostalgia from the picture alone. Located in the Dynalar building/waypoint in Charter Hill, Westbrook.

25. ARCH Nazaré >  €$ 138,000 > 40 cred (Wakako)

Writing this guide up to this point I have discovered that Old Lady Wakako knows what “fucking nova” means because all the cars she offers are fucking bangers so of COURSE she would offer an ARCH bike like this bumblebee badboy. You can see all the fun bits in and around the bike to know what you’re getting into so expect some hella smooth sailing. Located on the way TO the Drive-In Theatre in the lot of the Gig: A Shrine Defiled. South of Drive-in Theatre, North Oak, Westbrook.

26. Rayfield Caliburn (White) >  €$ 157,000 > 40 cred (Dino)

Dino actually coming in clutch with this last call for vehicles he offers. Like, I had to look up what “hypercar” meant to logistically know how hype this car makes me every time I hit the gas. At high speeds the engines purr like a cat, which is a whole other satisfying experience after driving hunks of junk. Located West of the Corporation St. waypoint in Downtown, City Center.

27. Rayfield Aerondight S9 “Guinevere” >  €$ 225,000 > 50 cred (Wakako)

Um... so... this is- this is the last car from Wakako. I haven’t even gotten to the point of being able to afford this... this... work of art. I can only imagine, with the Rayfield brand, that it’s better than the Caliburn. Which I don’t even think that’s possible but once I buy it I’ll let you know. Located North of the Columbariam or directly West of the North Oak Sign waypoints in North Oak, Westbrook.

Yo, if this guide helps you or makes your day or think it’s absolutely genius or dogshit don’t forget to like/reblog! Share with your friends!

Free Vehicle Post coming soon!

Images from gamesatlas.com, cyberpunk.fandom.com, & game-maps.com

[uenodivision]

Aranai's Thoughts on Division Leaders

Ichiro Yamada

"What can I say about Ichiro? Lots! I think the better question would be what can't I say about the guy! He's a hell of a rapper if I'm being honest. I'll even admit, begrudgingly, that he could kick my ass in a rap battle. Much of my own style I adopted from him, believe it or not. I was a big fan of the guy back during the Dirty Dawg days. Each member held their own, but I personally think Ichiro carried the group.

"Besides that, he's an all-right guy, I guess. As I stated, he's a hell of a rapper, and from what I've seen and heard, he's also a good brother to his siblings. He's also not half-bad in the looks department. Tell him I said that, by the way, and you're history."

Samatoki Aohitsugi

"Why the hell are you asking me about this S.O.B.? The less I have to think or speak about him, the better! The guy's a prick, plain and simple! He was my least favorite guy in Dirty Dawg, and he's my least favorite person now! If he suddenly collapsed today, I'd shed no tears for him, whatsoever! If he gave up rapping today, I'd probably jump for joy!

"Why do I hate him so much? During my time as a Bōsōzoku, he and I had a run-in with one another, and... let's just say, the encounter left an impression on me. I don't want to talk about it. But just know that if I ever see my chance at hurting this guy, I'm not passing it up!"

Ramada Amemura

"This guy was probably my second-favorite Dirty Dawg member, after Ichiro of course. He's got looks, but sadly, I'm not into Bishōnen. What really surprised me about this guy is that despite how young he looks, he's actually older than he appears! When I found out his actual age, my mouth literally hit the floor! How the hell can someone as young as him actually be in his mid-20s?! Besides that, he seems okay. From what I've heard, he works as some sort of fashion designer over at Shibuya.

"Like I said, the guy is okay. No real complaints about him, besides the fact that he seems to like women a lot. Which raises an interesting question: with how much this guy flirts, is he still a virgin? I mean, I know he's of consent and all, but I wonder, whenever people look at him, can they look past his youthful appearance? I've no clue..."

Jakurai Jinguji

"This guy is... well, for lack of a better word, weird. ...Well, not so much weird as he is mysterious. I've heard him sing and rap, but I can't really follow much of what he's saying. He seems to be on a whole nother level. Like his lyrics force you to think about the meaning behind his raps. I don't really like to think much when I'm listening to raps or music, so he gets a hard pass from me.

"Despite that, I don't really have anything negative to say about the guy. I was a bit surprised that he and his team managed to take the winner's spot in the first D.R.B. Plus, he managed to completely decimate and embarrass that ass****, Samatoki, in the process, so he gets points from that. But other than that, the guy is okay in my books, I guess."

Sasara Nurude

"...Let me state now for the record: I hate comedians and clowns. And this guy, unfortunately, fits the bill for both. I happen to have seen one of his shows once while I was in Osaka, and unlike the rest of the audience, the only thing I found funny was the fact that I had actually sat there watching it until the very end. I guess I was hoping that it would get better if I was patient. Nope, it just got sadder and more pathetic.

"Aside from that, the only thing I know about this guy is that he used to be in some sort of rap group with that S.O.B., Samatoki. I guess that would explain my disliking for him. And that would also explain why Ichiro and his brothers were able to blow him and his team out of the water in their rap battle. Ha!"

Kuko Harai

"I know about this guy 'cause he used to be part of a rap group with Ichiro. What were they called again... oh yeah! The Naughty Busters, I think. I'll admit, he was a good rapper, but he couldn't hold a candle to Ichiro. It's a shame they broke up, but I wasn't too hung up about it, since, as I stated, I only knew him because of Ichiro.

"From what I hear, he's formed another rap group back in Nagoya, I think. I saw him and his team in the D.R.B., and I'll have to say, I was a bit surprised he lost against the doctor. Truthfully, I was hoping he'd pull out some sort of win so I could see him face Ichiro in the next battle. Oh well."