#but this is just frigging dumb

[moonlightsapphic]

Y’ALL NEED TO STOP ARGUING ABOUT BILLIE EILISH I SWEAR

She was obviously just being funny and in the comments of her post, it looks like other queer public figures (JVN, Lucy Dacus, Amybeth McNulty, Stevie Boebi, Alix Traeger, even Autumn Kennedy who runs tstourtips) are playing along in the comments. I think it’s heartwarming!

Yes, it’s clear she personally does not want to let the topic of her queerness overshadow her art in interviews, and she wasn’t quite ready for that follow up question from the Vareity interviewer. She looked nervous. she wanted to be able to come out casually and move on. (Perhaps she was just tired of being assumed straight or called a queerbaiter, and it was as simple as needing to quickly clear up public misconception. Which is so fair.)

> Especially considering how she was in good spirits during the red carpet interview in question (watch the video, just please watch the video and see for yourself), it’s obvious she’s just trying to lighten the mood (for both herself and everyone else) with that IG caption.

All of that said, she could have taken into account that the media and public can be both dumb and malicious, and that they would try to twist her funky li’l IG vent out of context and then blame the sweet reporter, who was quite nice (plus queer and PoC herself!). To an extent Billie should have expected and prepared for the polite follow-up questions, considering that her ideal world (where sexuality isn’t a big deal) isn’t the world we’re living in yet, especially outside of rich celebrity circles. It is important information that she should clarify, even for her own protection from the media/public trying to twist her initial vague statements about attraction to women this way or that. Her team prepared her poorly.

(We can make the argument that the Variety reporter could perhaps have started with “Are you comfortable answering questions about your sexuality?” … but I’m sure if at any point Billie had said “Actually I would rather talk about my music or fashion right now,” the reporter would have immediately complied anyway. I think she makes it quite clear that she is a part of the community, and ally and a safe space and well intentioned. Billie was just put on the spot, she didn’t think of that route. And she wanted to vent on IG, because it must be so much to deal with when millions of people and the fucking BBC is suddenly talking about your sexuality. That’s all.)

Still, I agree with y’all in that Billie’s wording on the IG post was poor considering how the masses are unsurprisingly thinking of it as an accusation. Perhaps most importantly, using the word “outing” lightheartedly is tone deaf considering recent events where celebrities have been forced to come out or actually outed. And that’s something Billie could take away from the absolute media clusterfuck this is becoming.

Finally, I agree that she is very privileged and has a lot of influence she could use to support the LGBTQ+ community. But she’s still a person and she deserves to “come out” (or like, just start talking about her queerness) and have people not make a big deal about her identity if that is what’s most comfortable to her. This is a right all queer people should have regardless of their status. She doesn’t owe it to us to immediately become a queer spokesperson. Identity is hard for everyone. You guys are quickly forgetting how people accused her of queerbaiting back when she put out the Lost Cause MV and captioned a photo “i love girls”. (Why people are obsessed with labels, and the nuances of it are a whole other rant for another day, but I digress.) And honestly? She’s so right, leave her alone. She’s had fucking enough. Let queer people be.

TL; DR: Billie is not mad at any reporters for “outing” her. Billie doesn’t think anyone “outed” her in the first place! Billie is just annoyed that a big deal was made of her sexuality after she started talking about her queerness (which she did, intentionally and of her own accord, and also confirmed that it was a coming out of sorts from her end). She simply did not feel ready to talk about it again at 11:00 AM on the red carpet and all the attention was nerve-wracking. So she was venting using (albeit tone-deaf) hyperbolae on an IG post. The reporter was great, too, and absolutely should not be canceled. I hope this clears it up.

[kimarisgundam]

Rockerboy hates my Netrunner's dad cos dad tortured him, flatlined his chooms, and is currently threatening to call a hit on more of his friends

Exec doesn't hate dad, but is really salty over having his pride wounded. He has to occasionally work for dad now as a corp backed fixer cos dad let him walk from Arasaka

My Netrunner is super frigging pissed at her family cos

^ pissed at myself for being a coward and helping dad zero Rockerboy's friends + following orders and backstabbing my party

Big bro found out years ago that our sponsor helped facilitate the internal hit on our mom and his dad but didn't tell me

Big bro knew I was our sponsor's bio kid but chose not to tell me anything. No wonder he never called dad "dad" >:U

Dad is threatening tell MaxTac Solo has cyber psychosis if I reveal his affair to Arasaka (I retaliated cos he threatened Rockerboy)

And wtf dad! You told me the code I wrote was being used for therapeutic/medical purposes. Medical my butt! You used it to torture people >:U

The 3 of us are basically seething right now. And for the first time in this entire campaign...

My/my Netrunner's salt > my sense of honour/duty towards serving Arasaka/dad

Salt > my respect and fear of dad

Salt > not wanting to be a disappointment to my big bro

I basically just want to tell my family to go frig themselves now cos I've had enough of being lied to and manipulated >:T

Dad wants to take everything back from me cos I'm disobedient?

FINE. I'll borrow clothing from Solo2. I'll go from dressing in Jinguji to looking like Hatsune Miku with a gun >:T

I get why dad wanted to hide my Netrunner's existence cos it's not a good look having an affair with a traitor. But like, why didn't he tell the truth to my Netrunner? Is he that ashamed that she's his kid? Am I such a disappointment?

My current plan is to become dad's worst nightmare as a metaphorical middle finger to him. Like literally be a total disgrace as his bio kid. I'll even lie and say Rockerboy is my input

Exec is fully on board with this cos he wants to see my Netrunner's dad freak out, plus he gets to suck up to dad and play the good guy by saying he'll "look out" for me cos I'm with Rockerboy

Rockerboy just wants to stir crap so he's eager to do this

But our DM and Nomad are giving us the ಠ_ಠ look now cos we're hitting a hornet's nest

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

my girl 5

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as possible age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your brother’s friend from work starts hanging out a lot more often. (short!reader)

Characters: Captain Syverson

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

Forty minutes pass. The pizza has to be cold by now and your stomach is growling for a slice. You give in and text Isaac. You rarely do that. He barely says much to your face as it is. Not unless he’s making a dumb joke. 

'Where r u dummy?' 

You hit send and set the phone down. He's always been the type to wander off. When he was a kid, you remember helping your mom trawl the block for him. He would disappear into his room and never come out, only to escape through the window to find some trouble elsewhere. 

He texts back a couple minutes later. You can hear Sy pacing on the porch. You've never been alone with him. In fact, you're rarely in the house by yourself this long. 

'Ryan wants to hit up Barons. Gonna be late.' 

Frig. Why would he do that? Especially knowing Sy was on his way. This is going to be even more awkward. 

You’re not sure how to handle this. Usually, your mom takes care of guests. She’s so good at it. You just stay in the background with your books and help where you can. You live more in your head than you do out loud. 

You take the pizza and put it in the oven to warm up. You can't waste his kindness on Isaac’s ignorance. You go to the front door and peek your head out. 

"So er Isaac isn't coming." You say. 

Sy stops short and faces you, "oh. But... you're all alone." 

"Yeah, but that's okay. You can stay for pizza. I put it in to reheat. I mean you went to all that trouble." 

"Oh," he looks disappointed. "Too bad. If ya don't mind, I'm starving." 

"Of course." You smile. 

You feel bad. He came all this way and your brother ditched him. Now he's stuck with you. 

“Sorry about Isaac. I guess it must be important.” 

“Nah, don’t be sorry for him. Don’t you make excuses for him either. He’s that way, isn’t he? Unreliable,” He tuts. 

“Right but... well, he tries, right?” You say. 

Sy grumbles, neither in confirmation or denial. Why would he keep your brother around if he wasn’t good at his job? He hardly seems like the type to stand for that. You don’t ask. It wouldn’t be appropriate. 

You go back inside and he follows not far behind. He appears in the dining room without his hat and boots. You bring out the pizza and put a slice on your plate. You ask how many he wants and you dish him up two. 

Before you can sit, you pause. You almost forgot. 

"One sec." You raise a finger and stand straight.  

You flit out without explanation. His confused expression stains your vision. Living so long in your head, sometimes you forget to put your thoughts into words. 

You go to the fridge and grab two of the strawberry sodas. You return to the table and hand him one. He thanks you an examines the label. 

He twists the cap off easily as you struggle with your own. You forgot an opener. The ridges bite into your palm. 

"Want some help?" He reaches across the table. 

"Sure." 

You hand it over and he uncaps it with a soft his from the bottle neck. He plunks it by your plate as you thank him. He offers a funny smile through his beard. 

You take a sip and he swigs. He hums and eyes the bottle again, "you're right. It's sweet." He sets it down and picks up a slice. "I like sweet." 

You nod and pick up the pizza. You nibble on the end as he takes a bigger bite. Where you make yourself small and unoffensive, he's large and unbothered. His eyes meet yours as once more your mind wanders to orcs and their burly figures. 

"It's nice. This. Uh, us. Um, what I mean is..." he stammers. "Not so bad without the rest, huh?" 

"No, it's not bad," you shrug and smile. 

"Did I say they're showing the trilogy down at the drive-in next month? Read it online." He says. You can tell he's just trying to fill the lull. You appreciate the effort. 

"That's cool." You say. You knew. Your mom was supposed to go with you. 

"Yeah, your brother wasn't so into it. Said he's busy." He scoffs. "Suppose I can make the truck bed up and drive down... lotsa room. If you're interested or something." 

You take another bite as you process. It takes too long to realise he’s asking you to go with him. You’re not as good at subtext in real life. 

“That would be really nice but you know, if you feel bad for me, you don’t have to go to all that trouble.” You chuckle nervously. 

“Feel bad? About what?” 

“I’m a bit of a loner. I know that. And my mom just left. I guess it would seem kind of... sad?” You say. 

“I don’t think your sad.” He brushes his hand over his head. “I think... I think you’re really smart and that.” 

“Because I read?” You wonder. 

“Guess so. I never read books like this before. I don’t read much, you know? But I thought...” His face pales and he folds his pizza in half and puts it down. “I dunno. Guess I was looking for new things to do. Don’t got much else, myself. Don’t think you’re the only one on their own.” 

He gulps and rubs his neck. He stands abruptly, startling you. 

“Think I said too much. I’m sorry. I ruined dinner and all that.” He reaches back to steady the chair before it can topple. 

“No, you didn’t...” you frown up at him. You didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. You really just didn’t want to be in the way. “Please. I didn’t mean anything. I was only letting you know, like, it’s not a big deal. It’s really nice of you to invite me.” 

“It was stupid.” 

“I don’t think so. Unless you do.” You force a smile. “I’d be really lonely eating dessert by myself, you know?” 

“Dessert?” He lifts a brow. 

“Oh sure. You ever tried Pocky? They’re kinda not much but I got a bunch of new flavours.” You offer. “But if you got to go, that’s fine too. You should take some of this with you. I can’t eat it all.” 

He looks down then at you again. His cheek ticks and he shakes out his hands. He makes himself sit and clears his throat. 

“I’m real sorry. I wasn’t meanin’ to act up. I just... I didn’t wanna be a problem.” He shifts in the seat. “I’ll stay.” 

“Not a problem. You brought dinner.” You say. Your mom would never let someone walk out like that. But you’re not your mom. You’re not a very good host at all. 

[genericpuff]

ok i know it's a webtoon you can read online for free but Rachel/Inklore really did just spoil every twist and plot beat within the plot summary of volume 8 huh

this is literally the next volume they just announced and it's going to be releasing after LO goes behind daily pass and yet they're not even trying to keep things even somewhat interesting for the trad pub market that they're trying to expand through, jesus christ lmao this is yet another lesson in "what not to do" courtesy of LO 💀

your plot summary is supposed to be a HOOK. NOT A WHOLE ASS SYNOPSIS THAT GIVES AWAY EVERY TWIST AND PLOT BEAT. By comparison, LO's Volume 8 "summary" isn't a plot summary, it's a goddamned Cliff's Notes 😭 like ... this feels like they accidentally included the extended pitch notes in the summary, like is there seriously not a single person at Random House going "um, isn't this a little too much?"

I'm not even joking when I say you can deadass just read this summary and understand the gist of the S2 finale. The actual episodes do not contain anything else of substance beyond this summary. All the 'twists' are given away, and anything else that might be 'interesting' is literally dropped or forgotten about by the end of S2 anyways so it winds up not mattering (cough Eris cough)

Literally the first two paragraphs would have sufficed, with the additional removal of the Apollo lineage reveal because again, THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TWIST. IT'S A DUMB TWIST, BUT IT'S STILL WRITTEN AS A TWIST LMAO everything in that third paragraph and beyond is WAY TOO MUCH and it's not even making any efforts in its prose to pull you in with enticing set-up, it's just clinically saying "this happens and then this happens and then this happens".

Compare it to the Volume 1 description, it's like night and day:

"Persephone, young goddess of spring, is new to Olympus. Her mother, Demeter, has raised her in the mortal realm, but after Persephone promises to train as a sacred virgin, she’s allowed to live in the fast-moving, glamorous world of the gods. When her roommate, Artemis, takes her to a party, her entire life changes: she ends up meeting Hades and feels an immediate spark with the charming yet misunderstood ruler of the Underworld. Now Persephone must navigate the confusing politics and relationships that rule Olympus, while also figuring out her own place—and her own power."

Short, sweet, to the point, gives us enough setup to understand what we're going into but not enough details to spoil the whole frigging thing, and it ends perfectly with a hook that gets you interested in both Persephone and Hades as characters.

Y'know what, Inklore, here's a freebie on me, for Volume 8:

"Court is in session, the witnesses have spoken, and now it's Persephone's turn to take the stand. Torn between her loyalty to her mother, Demeter, and her blooming love for Hades, Persephone reveals to all her true motives for the Underworld - but shocking revelations are brought to light by the scheming Apollo that may determine Zeus' verdict and Persephone's fate once and for all.

Meanwhile, deep within Tartarus, a long-forgotten threat from Hades' past has re-awakened, and has set his sights on Persephone as his new wellspring of power...

Will Persephone and Hades finally find their peace? Or will fate tear them apart for eternity? Find out in this visually stunning and climactic conclusion to Lore Olympus' second season."

[dee-the-red-witch]

Argh. The fact that my youngest has to eat and/or destroy every bit of my food in the house first is just.. ugh.

Help a girl avoid scurvy this week? It sounds so frigging dumb but that's where it's practically at. Just need to be able to cover groceries at this point, gas for next week, and, well, anything helps. Http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts

[ananke-xiii]

Another dream, always mine (and yes it's still spn s13 related because i have a bone to pick with dabb over that season specifically)

So here it goes. (Part 1)

Spn s13 but kelly doesn't die, cas doesn't die, crowley doesn't die. Lucifer dies for *reasons* but mary, dean and sam are stuck in the AU.

It's still spn so we just have to have mirrors and parallels, okay? Like, this show doesn't care about continuity but damn! They will stick to mirrors and parallels like it's a religion and so we do too.

The thing is that the AU is not the lame-ass AU Dabb or whoever came up with, it's at least an attempt at being an interesting place. So basically the AU is as boring and dumb as our earth, nothing has really changed, people are still trapped in the rat race that capitalism is (see, we have a little bit of critique here too, there is no escape from the capitalist-fascist-heteronormative narrative or isn't it?), the frigging white picket fences are still everywhere like a fucking nightmare BUT! This is an earth without monsters, angels, demons, nothing goes bump in the night but depression, paranoia and suicidal thoughts (now these are the real monsters) and YET this is THE chance for our heroes, this is the promised land, no past, only freedom, the american dream is theirs to grab (but don't worry this place hides a secret, this is still spn everything must be queer, you'll see). Sam, dean and mary are kinda lost cause, surprise surprise! It turns out that's not the things you want that you can't have but that you didn't know what you wanted so how could you have it in the first place? Mary is restless, this was supposed to be her dream, she died for it and now she doesn't want it and she goes through another deep existential crisis (and, really, we all just get mary because seriously? any character named mary who's also a mother has too much fucking weight on her shoulder, just let the woman be). Sam is kinda okay with it, he once again refuses to get in touch with his emotions and flees from them like the plague: they're gonna make it work, they will find a way (i want to convey ross from friends vibes when he's like *in a squeaky voice* i'm fine! Here, that's sam in the AU). The guy lives in his delusion, this is his chance at being normal (and oh boy is he wrong, you'll see). Dean feels just bad, he's supposed to feel happy with his mother and his brother/son (the weird implications of this situation will be explored) but he keeps thinking about that little house by the sea (or was it a lake?) that cas bought as fucking jimmy novak and how the angel spent months there with kelly playing daddy and how the fucking angel played him and dean just went along and repaired his stupid truck as if to thank him for breaking his heart but also, also, dean will never admit it to anyone ever but deep down he knows, he knows, that that was his place, his angel, his chance (we will also have an explorations into the complex theme of mpreg with the due "Junior" references we all deserve and insights into dean's maternal insticts).

Now back to earth.

Kelly gives birth to a baby jack, cas lives with them to protect them from the angels and demons that will sure come for a visit (but once again he will end up being a total agent of chaos, you'll see), the angel is a bit of a mess, though, and his obsession with saving dean winchester is finally making kelly feel quite concerned with her life choices, maybe trusting this guy was a little bit insane, was he always this deranged? (We'll soon see why she thinks that, she might have a point). Meanwhile crowley goes back to hell and we once again have a cheap game of thrones situation (because why not? i can't come up with infinite original ideas to fix this plot, okay? Also this is still spn, i can condone SOME cheap storylines on the side, and anyway mark sheppard makes anything work so we're good) where his varys-like smart brain cells will put him on the throne again (who's this asmodeus guy anyway, prince of hell or not, fuck him, he will not stick around here for a second season while dagon died like after 2 episodes she was in, not gonna happened in my narrative). But, you see, the demon has his own issues, and goes visiting kelly and the angel because why not? He likes kelly she seems interesting enough for a person who birthed satan's son, escaped from a fucking angel of the lord, was kidnapped by a goddamn prince of hell, managed to baby trap said angel of the lord, stole the frigging impala and escaped that menace that the winchesters are. She then proceeded to give birth knowing she might have died. She is something. Something a bit unhinged maybe but crowley digs her, okay? He still also has varys-like smart brain cells so he needs to visit to make sure that baby lucifer is, like, not plotting to take over hell or whatever newborn babies half-made from cosmic entities do these days. Also, also, watching castiel putting baby jack to sleep with those big strong angel gym-bro arms did something to him, his daddy fetish and his mommy issues raised their head and something else too, and he foolishly promises to keep jack safe from hellish attacks and indulges castiel in his winchester obsession. What? He misses the brothers too, those handsome, tall, cruel white boys (we are reminded that, visually, the whole cas/kelly/jack situation is quite similar to the weird crowley/dean/amara thing of s11, mirrors and parallels need to keep happening people, this is spn, we gott have 'em). Castiel is living his tragic destiny yet again, he's seen the AU, has been there, technically knows that dean, sam and mary are safe but he just has to see it for himself, right? Like he has to make sure, it's not like dean not being there is eating him from the inside, it's not like he starts feeling the pang of guilt over the huge betrayal he's forced onto dean,leaving him left behind again and again and playing him that way, no. He copes by sitting in his stupid truck that dean had repaired listening to that damn tape (every time he does that we have a close-up of kelly watching the pathetic scene from her window and sighing as if in "fuck, FUCK, my life"). And oh, yes he also starts researching about archangel resurrection because i may or may not bring back my girls, aka raphael and uriel but this is for part 2, you'll see.

[eri-pl]

OK, so this is from the post-Silm version, I think but a lot of Tolkien's thoughts on the interesting stuff (mostly about Morgoth)

Some highlights:

I didn't read the first part in detail, I've had enough with the later parts (yes, I read it out of order)

ósanwe is not clear mind-reading! It's much, much less. This solves so many problems! I love this idea and will accept it (this was the pleasant part and now it ends)

yes, gold is a particularly evil element

Hiding of Valinor was a bad idea, but not really. Huh. Professor, I think you're trying to have two things at once again but ok… So it is a bad idea as written in the Silm, but this is the fault of the narrative frame, and also Manwë is much wiser than the book makes him look. Huuuh. There is a limit to how much authorial intent I can take. I am not buying it, I am sorry, I just can't wrap my mind to it. I love the guy, but I can't agree that he made no mistakes, and it's just Pengolodh or whatever. Doesn't work for me. Sorry.

I am sad. Yes, I know, I know. I know. And I am sad anyway. Call me dumb. I don't care. I am frigging sad.

Yes this is the part I am ignoring (well ok one central part of it and basically the whole background he is putting into it, the datails are optional to ignore)

This makes me sad. It makes no sense. (Not very sad, just… idk. I get it, just… idk. I guess I prefer my extremely weird hc. Also, again, if Tolkien's writing style and characterisation was more coherent, maybe. Idk. Idk. )

Oh, and also Void is not outer space, it's out of spacetime, but was Morgoth really thrown there, or is it just Pengolodh saying things? Tolkien won't tell us.

(And yes, that's the version where Námo actually executed him, I'm glad it was Námo, not sure why. He can handle difficult stuff?)

Anyway, enjoy!

[bethesammytomydean]

Spooky

"You're not actually scared, are you?"

"No."

"You frigging are."

"I'm not!"

"Yeah you are! Oh come on Sammy, it's just a haunted house."

"Shut up."

"Nothing in here is real."

"Shut up."

"We've seen much worse."

"Shut up!"

"Seriously Sammy, it's fine. I'm here, ain't I? And you know I'll always protect you. Right?"

"... I guess."

"You think I'd ever let anythin' happen to you in a dumb place like this?"

"No..."

"Then there's no need to be scared, alright? It's just actors who are trying to spook you. Nothing bad."

"Okay..."

"C'mon, I'll let you hold my hand."

"Okay."

"S that better?"

"Yeah. Thanks De."

"No problem, Sammy."

[beastblade69]

and now I am a bald, colourful and transmasc version of kinsey from locke n key (kinsey's my girl although she is so dumb sometimes. but we all are so. she's just real)

nvm the hairline being crooked, I'm my own hairdresser (and I don't have any eyes on the back of my head)

normally I wouldn't do a ponytail but it's frigging hot so I just NEED to take the hair away from my neck

[mariotrontro]

Steel Wool Route (Ralsei Weird Route Concept)

Got bored so I decided to make a Weird Route for Ralsei. Decided to present it as like a game guide from a gaming magazine. This was inspired by the Deltarune Chapter 1 Weird Route concept aka Devil's Buster Check it out here. basically you need to defeat Spamton NEO and you need to beat every enemy by attacking until you get to Spamton NEO whilst never sparing. As for the Spamton NEO fight you can only fight with Ralsei (Ragger2 for Ralsei is advised for this) and the final hit has to be from Ralsei. After the Spamton NEO fight you'll get both the Puppet Scarf and Dealmaker equip them both to Ralsei. Now you must go and backtrack and defeat all enemies with Ralsei and all enemies defeated by Ralsei will now turn into red dust (Just like what'd happen if you use Snowgrave on a regular enemy. Also I'm gonna assume red dust is what Darkners dissolve into similar to Monsters) and Ralsei will learn a new spell "Inferno" it being exactly what it says on the tin. Now since this a Weird Route there are some major changes after the Rouxls fight after he turns to stone because he's too far from his Dark Fountain...Ralsei frigging dumps him in the acid river. And as for the Queen fight it'd change ALOT first off Ralsei goes a bit trigger happy and well if you thought Berdly got the short end of the stick in the Snowgrave route well...This is worse whilst it could be speculated Berdly's probably comatose back in the Light World after Snowgrave. Here Ralsei friggin uses the Puppet Scarf as like a third leg (Which yes is a Jojo reference more specifically to Lisa Lisa from Part 2: Battle Tendency's Snake Muffler technique) and casts Inferno on him now keep in mind Puppet Scarf gives a minus 6 to magic...Though this still utterly destroys Berdly leaving singed white dust. So whilst in Snowgrave it was ambiguous if Berdly was alive or not (...He's probably dead or at least at death's door) here there's no beating around the bush Berdly's frigging dead and by the way before Ralsei casts Inferno Berdly is freed from the wire's control...Only to be met with hellfire with Queen being surprised to say the least but not before...Ralsei takes care of her. And after this Susie freaks out and uses Rude Buster on him sending him away and basically says something along the lines of "Look normally I'd be cool with this but damn this is effed up. And coming from Ralsei of all people. Let's just seal the dumb fountain alright?". Also for after this maybe in Chapter 3 or something Ralsei would be in Castle Town's basement in the same cage as King with Lancer now being the prince of Castle Town, Lancer replacing Ralsei's role.

[ralith]

My mom says shit like "you'll just know when you meet The One. You'll feel it in your soul."

Yeah no. You could blatantly state you love me to my face, no flowery words, and it would still take me months to realize what you said.

There was a classmate in college who would sit next to me in a sparsely filled lecture hall, wrap her arms around my arm and hug it to her chest, and fucking NUZZLE her face into my shoulder before snuggling into my side. And my dumb, oblivious ass was like "huh, she must be cold."

Took me 5 frigging years after graduation to realize what she was doing!

[atopfourthwall]

Final modern Trek question then I’ll be good: What’re your honest thoughts and feelings on Strange New Worlds Season 1? Pros and cons, how it differs from Discovery and what it does either better or worse? The direction and writing, and if you feel it’s a step in the right path for current Trek shows? I watched it and I personally loved it, but I’m so curious to know what you think.

It is MOSTLY good. Its biggest strength is standalone episodes but compelling character arcs, which was the right call to make. We don't need a mysterious space hole or whatever to keep us invested week after week - just have a story with a beginning, middle, and end - do Star Trek stuff like meet new, weird, alien races and find interesting solutions to problems. The characters can change and advance and we can learn new things about them that influence how we next see them. The characters are just generally likeable and PROFESSIONAL. Professional is really the watchword I should keep bringing up - one of the reasons why I'm so uninterested in watching Lower Decks is because I continually see in gifs a bunch of BOZOS. Morons in command, morons doing the gruntwork. Oh, sure, I don't doubt they do their jobs and live and etc., etc., but nothing about them screams "These are people I would want to trust with exploring the galaxy." I see fanboys and people who shouldn't be anywhere near a phaser, much less the big chair. One of the episodes that many wouldn't put on their highest-ranking list of episodes for season 1 of Strange New Worlds is "Ghosts of Illyria." But it's entirely my jam - the stuff I want out of Star Trek. An interesting sci-fi mystery, character revelations, professionals doing their best to solve the problem, raising some interesting moral questions that will have to be revisited down the road, etc. For many it's just kind of "meh," but for me it made me want to watch more of it again after a long absence after watching the first two episodes. I want to see smart people being smart and solving problems. That's reductive, I know, but it's what gets me every time when watching. Now, as for the cons... well, ironically with that word the big problem is CONTINUITY. There are NUMEROUS continuity issues with this series, not the least of which being T'Pring - Spock's fiancé. There is no reason she should be such a significant part of the show. Everything that we saw in Amok Time seemed to suggest they were not close, had not seen each other in a long time, and the attitude T'Pring had in that is at odds with how she's portrayed as so loyal and dedicated to Spock in SNW. And given her reasons for breaking off her engagement in Amok Time, unless they REALLY openly contradict it with, I don't know, some kind of big betrayal or emotional fallout with Spock, I have a hard time believing that she'd break it off with him there. Don't get me wrong - the bodyswap episode was still good, but the problem again comes down to "I do not see a reasonable way for these two to no longer be together for Amok Time." The show focuses too much on old characters and not enough on new ones. I've already seen Spock's character development in TOS and the movies. I don't need MORE of it here, especially whenever they bring up Discovery. I don't need to see Pike's dilemma about his future - I know what's going to happen there. Uhura is a fine character... but I've seen her already. Give me more of everybody else - journeys for them, arcs for them, change for them. Killing Hemmer was dumb. Killing him while turning the Gorn into xenomorphs was dumber. Having the Gorn at all is dumb given we were pretty sure their first contact with the Federation was Arena in TOS. You could have invented a new baddie and gotten the same effect. Hell, it would have been better since one of the points of Arena is that we judged the Gorn as being aggressive, evil, and monstrous partially because of their appearance... but here comes SNW to be like "Oh, yeah, they are the absolute friggin' WORST. Unimaginably monstrous and horrible." Stop making all the uniform variants try to match with Discovery's stupid uniforms.

[velociraptors-dont-lie]

Listen I'm so sick of gas guy cesear salad and his dumb laugh 😭😂 I'm like 10 minutes shy of 760 and honestly sanji just frigging crush the heart, Im done 😂 I wish I had more rosinante, that man was fine 😂

[girlwithherheadinthestars]

ever since i was a kid i've had this idea for a book about every single of my favorite characters living together in a mansion. like a sanctuary for heroes on an island where time never passes (like neverland)

it would be such a good book (or even a movie or tv show would be amazing) like it would break every single copyright law in the entire frigging world but imagine imagine.

a support group for People With Terrible Parents (led by percy jackson and adrien agreste)

they take turns leading training sessions in the morning. sometimes it's aelin burning someone's hair off for not doing enough push ups or it's steve rogers giving rigid army training or it's frigging leo valdez who's just like let's chill and listen to music yeah?

and then movie nights where they watch movies made about them and then whenever tony stark sees himself do something dumb in the movie (something he absolute would never dooo like omgg guys this is bs i would never) and he throws popcorn at the screen and shouts booo

and then maybe the younger ones go to school like you have peter parker coming in one night, he slams the door and hollers "I HAVE AN ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEST TOMORROW" and then annabeth chase, hermione granger, wylan van eck, bruce banner, shuri, they all run down and set up what looks like a war room in the dining room to teach peter all the material in one night.

and then on christmas they have one huge massive tree that they all spent ages decorating together with rhysand fussing about the tiniest details and the tree falling over like seven times because olaf was trying to swing on the branches and then on christmas morning they all wake up and sit in red and green cozy pjs and drink hot cocoa while opening presents.

and all the john green characters go out to stargaze and drink champagne and invite everyone to join.

imagine during parties a random pair finds themselves on the balcony in the cold watching the sea and they have the deepest conversation (picture natasha romanoff and kaz brekker or like lucy gray baird and rapunzel [OMG LUCY GRAY AND RAPUNZEL I NEED THIS DUO TOGETHER PLEASE GOD])

imagine everyone dressing up as each other for halloween. imagine the different areas of the mansion designed to accommodate each individual's personality like moana's room has coral walls and boat memorabilia, inej's room has like a bunch of ropes and high wires and her bed is a hammock suspended from the ceiling.

just imagine them doing cute domestic stuff together like cleaning and arguing and sitting and watch tv at the end of the day.

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #27:

Hawks and Doves

Where the hell is my copy of Hawks and Doves?

It was right where it belonged in the summer of 1993: in my jubilant 17 year old hand. I'd just liberated it from a Dollar Bin for the very first time, adding it to a proud pile of 15 or 16 other titles. There was a $46 summer camp paycheck to be spent.

And it was once again right where it belonged in 1994, spinning on my turntable beneath my U2 War poster when I first played it (well, the Doves side, anyway) for my fairly-soon-to-be sainted wife in the days leading up to my high school graduation.

Fast forward ten years and it was still rocking on very same turntable as I crawled around on the floor of our very first family home, goofing off with our first born. Me and my little wing...

Jump ahead another ten years and it was packed into a milk crate, headed for record collection limbo. Our three children and all their blocks, potties and dolls named Laura had overwhelmed our 900 square foot house, necessitating my entire collection's removal from our home. And so it headed to my parents' mountain cabin an hour and a half outside of town. The record and all its partners seemed superfluous at that moment; I hadn't been to a record store in years; I'd changed countless diapers instead. And music, when I got some, came through the docked iPod off the top of the frig.

And so that precious record was patiently awaiting the return of my attention in the cabin a few years later when a sudden storm of helicopters and sirens sent me away from my kids and wife, jogging up the mountain to a look out spot where I saw that the entire canyon below us was on fire. It was suddenly time to get the hell out of there.

Did I, in the terrifying, adrenaline pumping, moments that followed, righteously acknowledge that records, even Neil Young records, are mere material objects and are therefore downright unworthy of my concern during a potentially major moment in my biography? No, fair readers, I did not.

Rather, I did the unconscionable thing and considered, for a solitary second, charging back into the cabin after the kids were loaded up in the car so as to grab my entire Neil Young section. After all, there was more at stake than my beloved copy of Hawks and Doves. On The Beach was in there too!

But, thankfully, that dumb materialistic thought came and instantly passed, all while I jogged around the car to the driver's seat. Indeed, the thought quickly gave way to a less dumb, but just as materialistic, possibility as I started up the engine and peeled out of there:

"Wow, I kinda hope the cabin burns down! And all the records in it! Then everyone will pity me and encourage me to spend a tremendous amount of time and money - wow, maybe it will be insurance money! - in a bunch of sweet, child-free record stores in the near and far future so as to reestablish my entire collection one title at a time. That sounds awesome!"

Well, sadly, the cabin did not burn down. It came through the fire and was then sold off around 2019, just as my eldest was heading off to college. With one less person in the house I felt justified in bringing my entire collection home.

"Hello old friend," I said to each of my records in turn as I worked them back into alphabetical order. Maybe, thought I, it was finally time to get back into records!

But something was quickly amiss. Several somethings!

First off, there wasn't a single Tom Petty record in my bin. Some devilish mountain man had surely crept into the cabin at some point and absconded with them all. That, or my only slightly less famous other brother had borrowed them and forgot to return them.

It was the later of those scenarios, of course. But, low and behind, the mountain man had shunned my T.P records and had instead nicked my copy of Hawks and Doves! It was nowhere to be found. Curses! He's surely sitting with that record on some windswept mountainside as we speak, cackling madly.

And so, after 15 years of self-imposed record store exile, I went in search of a replacement copy of Hawks and Doves. Now it's 5 years, 112 blog posts and about 500 additionally purchased records later. Blessings upon the mountain man.

By the way, it took no time at all to find a new copy of Hawks and Doves: Neil, who was just coming off his incomparably great run of 70's records, sold a zillion copies of that visually alluring album and then no one - except me! - liked it. So Hawks and Doves wound up a Dollar Bin staple.

I was so out of record buying shape back then that I dropped $10 for it. But I forgive myself.

Here is the replacement:

Now let's talk all about the album.

Hawks and Doves is one of Neil's Jekyll and Hyde records: one side contains a unified band record, the other is a totally unrelated collection of juicy outtakes. He took this approach for the first time with American Stars 'n Bars. That record is mixed, sure, but it's also largely fantastic. Hawks and Doves fits the Jekyll and Hyde description much better in that one side is alluring and lovely; the other is horrific.

Let's talk Doves, the outtakes side, first - in true Shakey style, that's Side 1. So this record should actually be called Doves and Hawks. At least I presume we can call Side 1 Doves: its songs lilt without rancor and the vinyl sticker is a patient blue, not a vitriolic red. Ask him about the color/title plan today and Neil would probably make bold and specific claims without any real memory of what he had in mind: the poor guy was entirely wrapped up with caring for his young son born with Cerebral Palsy at this point and it's impossible to know how much thought he put into any part of this record.

Doves is just four songs long, two of which, Little Wing and Lost in Space, are among my favorite songs of all time by anyone, full stop.

These days, of course, Shakey Savants like me listen to Little Wing in the context of Homegrown, Neil's white whale of a record that hid entirely from view for a full 40 years before anyone finally heard it. Listening to the song in that context totally changes its meaning and effect for me; it becomes deeply Neil's song. I'll look forward to writing it in that manner in a future post.

(And we'll also get to talk at some point about Little Wing in the context of The Ducks, Neil's extremely average and momentary late 70's band whose best mark, by far, was an electrified version of the song.)

But growing up, and becoming a father, made Little Wing utterly my own song, not Neil's. The track opens with the earthiest, most elemental musical gesture I know: Neil's harmonica sounds like a centuries old, partially fossilized, fungus that he's upturned and is breathing through; it's the sound of the earth itself sighing and speaking.

I don't know if these opening notes are pretty on any level. But I find them deeply sublime.

For me, the song was initially about my girlfriend, soon to be my wife. She flew rings around us all. Then the patient melody morphed and came to describe the children and, later, the adults with developmental disabilities that I played with and cared for in my first career. Summer had turned to fall. Then, when my daughter was born, she claimed the song. Born in winter, she was the best of all.

I wrote months ago about Lord Franklin/Bob Dylan's Dream, calling the melody and mood of that song elemental to my own understanding of self. Well, Little Wing, when heard either in isolation or in the context of this record, is the flip side of Lord Franklin: it describes the people and things that I love. I sang it to all my children, almost daily, as they fell asleep; if I'm lucky I'll get to sing it to my grandchildren one day too.

I love Lost in Space for far more ineffable reasons. The song is just so damn weird. Neil makes every note once again here on his own: from the layered guitars to the patient vocals to the "marine munchkin" chorus. Rarely does his music sound this intentional, and rarely does it refuse so staunchly to be categorized. Like Will to Love, Lost in Space has no peer in Neil's oeuvre; it'd be out of place on any record he's ever made. And so Doves' outtakes approach is its perfect home.

And the imagery! Neil presents his own Grimm's Fairy Tale of sorts, stacking up childish images of queens and lambs within a sporadic sing-song rhyme scheme alongside unsettling mattress doors, buildings that rise from the ocean floor and paroled gardeners, all of them spinning and lost in deep outer space.

I don't know that many other people consider this one of Young's great songs. And so my deep affection for it may offer my buddy Greg some insight into his forever, Shakey-Sundays-inspiring, question: Why Neil Young? Why is he your favorite artist?

Well, Greg, I don't know. But the answer is somewhere inside the swirling fever dream of beauty, dread and obscurity that is Lost in Space.

And then, there's the rest of the record. Doves also includes the delicate and elusive story that is Captain Kennedy, which has its own proper, modern home on another of Young's long lost and then recently found records, Hitchhiker. And then there's the album's oddball prequel of sorts to Danger Bird, The Old Homestead. With its assigned parts for birds, shadows and riders, The Old Homestead could have entire college departments dedicated to its study.

But I've never loved the track and I can't work up the energy on this fine Sunday to plumb its depths. Suffice it to say that everyone should own Hawks and Doves for its A Side.

And then there's Side B. I've been asking the same question about it for 30+ years: what the hell is this crap?

I gave it a fresh listen just now, hoping that something new would emerge for me. Nope. We've still got 5 well below average Neil Young songs performed like a failed Farm Aid audition. The title track is hummable at least but it's also embarrassing; Young lost a lot of fans for a moment for sounding like a Reagan Republican here, and this song the best part of Hawks.

But the side's only really memorable moments come in Union Man, which is one of Neil's leading submission to the Most Enjoyably Stupid Songs in History competition. Young opens with generic strings and the only mildly memorable guitar work on all of Hawks. He then stumbles into an initially dull advertisement for the joys of union membership. Is he serious?

No, he is not: the union meeting in question soon devolves into someone, probably Ben Keith, shouting a blatantly stupid suggestion for union consideration into the mix. Neil, our meeting facilitator, takes him seriously and suddenly it feels like this is a scene in one of Neil's terrible movies.

If Neil's attempting a critique of the "AF of M" (the American Music Federation) here then he misses the mark. If he's mocking unions generally then the song is offensive.

But I'm going to take the high road and assume that the whole song is an incomprehensible dad joke, in which case this stuff is pure gold. Get me one of those bumper stickers Neil!

Once Archives 3 comes out Hawks and Doves will finally be irrelevant. Lost in Space will then join Little Wing, The Old Homestead and Captain Kennedy as another great song which has its true home on another record. The Hawks songs alone can then claim this album, forever identifying it as needless and dull.

I can't wait. Maybe then that conniving mountain man will decide that my stolen copy of Hawks and Doves no longer deserves to take up precious space in his mountain man lair. I therefore call upon him to quit his cackling and return my damn record.

P.S. The moment after I hit publish on this thing Joe Biden did the honorable and necessary thing - finally - and stepped aside. We live in historic and tense times! As a high school history teacher I have the increasingly vital and difficult job of presenting our country in a more honest, complex and nuanced way than Neil manages with his song Hawks and Doves. But, amidst our troubled times and our incredibly troubled history, I remain a hopeful and, in my own way, patriotic American. Thanks for stepping aside Joe: we need you now way less than we need Donald Trump ever. Like you and Neil, I'm ready to go, but I'm also willin' to stay and pay. USA? Sure: USA!

[selfshipseaside]

Everything I'm about to say is pretty much just what everyone else has said but like- it all ties together I feel, YA KNOW? I just think it's wild that in a community where everyone has collectively decided that living up to societal norms is dumb and lives by the whole "we are cringe, but we're FREE" meme, that we've somehow normalized making snap judgements about and ostracizing each other? and treating those who don't participate in those witch hunts like they're criminals of the worst degree themselves? I-? HOW? It's just all very juvenile to me, and I'll admit it's made it hard for me to want to reach out to people and make friends here still.

I feel like I'm walking on egg shells ALL the time. You can't like, reblog, or follow ANYONE without jumping through hoops first and if you don't and follow the wrong person or reblog from someone who's stupidly specific DNI you happen to fall under, then you're suddenly the biggest asshole known to man. You're on a list, or getting gossiped about, or you're getting cancelled, whatever. That's assuming they don't have their DNI's plastered on every post they make, which wouldn't be so off putting maybe (big maybe) if people weren't so freaking rude. "DNI (enter whoever here) you're scum get out of here you're not wanted" OH OKAY? HAVE YOU TRIED NOT BEING SO ANGRY? I'm not trying to harbor an unsafe or unwelcoming environment for ANYONE on my blog, so no I'm not going to reblog stuff like that even if maybe I wouldn't want to interact with whoever they're excluding either.

Also, the things people get called and the disgusting things people get accused of around here willy nilly for literally no reason other than others disagree with them? Yknow the ones. Not gonna say it here, but oh my GOD that is so NOT okay. To do THAT to someone is disgusting. I just don't get what happened to treating a social media, like social media. If you don't like someone? Block them! If you get an interact from someone you don't like? Block them too! Don't want to see certain posts? Mute the tags! Don't like who someone ships with for whatever reason? Hey there's that block button again! It's so easy. It's free. It's like- dead ass the most simple thing in the world. And yet we've chosen to normalize making the entire community a frigging minefield. It's so overwhelming that if I hadn't found a way in via my own support blog back in the day, and instead tried to enter as just anyone else, I would have turned tail way before I met the friends I do have here (and my wonderful amazing lovely girlfriend cough). It's stupid, my dude. Having this opinion alone gets me shoved into certain boxes I didn't even ask for. And as far as people getting butt hurt over blocks, I don't even NOTICE when it happens, let alone do I care so I just. Cannot relate. I can't fathom it unless they were someone I was close to.

In closing, this community has a lot of maturing to do, because thats what all of this is. Immature, exhausting, and yes- stupid. I'M TIRED OF THIS GRANPA.

K done 💖

This! Oh look it's my beautiful amazing talented and emotionally intelligent girlfriend!! Everything you said is true and more. We have got to mature as a community! We live like this??? It do be smelling like roaches in here guys, CMONNNN