#freaking hate this. all you do is copy why because you know I’m better than you ?

[amethystfairy1]

What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!

✨WRITING PROCESS✨

...

this.

this is my writing process.

OK TO BE REAL THO

Firstly, I don't do outlines.

I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T

What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.

For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!

Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.

This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.

In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out

So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.

As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.

It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?

Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.

Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.

Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.

Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.

Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!

Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.

Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.

And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.

Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!

If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆

My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!

OH ONE MORE THING! 👏

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!

Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!

Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖

[milkywaygg]

Hey, I just looked up about the name Schnozmo, but I couldn’t find what it means. I think it may be a make up name. It maybe not an actual name.

I can’t even spell that name- :’D

(I actually used copy and paste that name.)

I’m not sure if that’s the name Papa Cosmo gave him or not.

Maybe Schnozmo changed his to “Schnozmo”, Cosmo doesn’t mind at all. (I think?)

But maybe Schnozmo must had, not realizing his dad actually loved him very much unlike Mama Cosma did. I mean Mama Cosma treated Cosmo as if he’s her only child. I mean that’s what we thought than Schnozmo was added way later in season 7.

Or something had happened with Schnozmo that Cosmo actually don’t know. Schnozmo doesn’t want him to worry about him, thinks it’s not important, and knew Wanda wouldn’t care, I mean she clearly hates and do not trust him in the series. Also Wanda mentioned Cosmo was the only child so yeah-

Ugh I don’t like it when a family member just appeared once then BOOM they’re gone as if they never existed. :(

I know Fairly Oddparents series was to focus on Timmy and his wishes with his fairy Godparents and Godbrother, but that’s not the point, Timmy’s parents appeared in a lot of episodes, Cosmo’s mom did several times, both Papa Cosmo and Schnozmo appeared once. Blonda and Big Daddy appeared about times. Wasn’t it? Wanda’s mom never appeared al all but she was mentioned few times. It’s like we don’t know much about Wanda and Cosmo’s family at all-

I kind of Hazel do not meet Big Daddy and learning he’s a mafia, that she will realize Wanda is the daughter of a mafia and Peri is the grandson of a mafia, AND out of all men…

Cosmo married Wanda! Just wow! Well Wanda’s ex boyfriend of course, but yeah you know what I meant. (Can’t spell his name, too long-)

Same goes with Dev, their friends and Hazel’s brother, Antony.

I mean Timmy freaked out, poor this boy. :(

I just wish we would know more about them. Like what happened to Papa Cosmo? Is he dead? What happened to Wanda’s mom? Is she dead or too busy with her job? Is she and Big Daddy divorced? I mean Big Daddy and Mama Cosma having a crush on each other- yikes! I understand they don’t like their own child being married to each other but, really? I kind of hope that’s not canonin FOP A New Wish series timeline-

I would love to see their relationship with Cosmo and Wanda, and of course Peru as he had grew up.

Ugh! Why is it so wait to see if FOP A New Wish series will have season 2 or not?! :(

I’m kind of nervous to see if they will treat Timmy better than what he deserves, to be a great, lovely and kindness man. To have his future to be good and have a good job that matches him like a lawyer or social worker, and maybe a great and awesome father of his children. It would make a lot sense if they’re younger than Hazel and Dev.

So… what do you think?

So the way I’ve written it, “Schnozmo” is a con artist Nick name he gave himself. My Papa Cosmo has named him Darren (which I had kinda chosen after his voice actor. I thought that would’ve been a cool thing.)

I’m pretty sure Mama Cosma is incapable of loving anyone except herself. I think the only reason she “loves” Cosmo is because he’s easy to manipulate and control into doing what she wants. I don’t think it was until he met Wanda that he really started to rebel against her.

And I agree. I hated what they did with Papa Cosma (namely. I mean what kind of a fate is that? Give birth to your two sons, which I’m sure destroyed the shit out of his body, and then get turned into a fly). I think that scene alone is the reason I started writing what I wrote. In my fictions, Mama Cosma had a lot less control and interaction with her sons because she’s gonna be getting what she deserves.

I haven’t really seen the new series to judge but it seems pretty good. Don’t think I like Dev very much though from what I’ve seen. But hopefully we’ll get a second season.

Sadly, I do think there was one scene where Timmy may or may not be working as a bus driver. If you remember all the way back from the first episode where Timmy wishes to become an adult, we get this middle aged man design. I think I saw the same design driving a bus.

[fancylala4]

Why Flynn rider is a terrible character

His backstory is poorly written and underdeveloped. He grew up in orphanage, grew up to hate his name because of some stupid reason, and wanted to be an adventurer. That’s it. Why the hell did he become a thief? Especially since he sucks at being one and was implied to be ashamed of it in the camp. Was he forced to do it because place he grew up in was poor? Was he just lazy to get a job? Why didn’t he just get a job to pay for all the stuff, or just become an adventurer? You don’t need money for that shit, you can just live off the land. It’s like the writers tried to copy Aladdin for Flynn’s backstory and character. However, Aladdin as a character made sense. We know why Aladdin couldn’t get a job because the town he grew up in was poor and harsh. He couldn’t get a job and he stole only food to survive. What’s Flynn excuse? Also, Aladdin was actually a good thief and he was smart. Flynn, on the other hand, was an idiot and a terrible thief.

Another reason why his backstory fell flat was because they didn’t show it to us. He just tells it to us. Can you imagine if Ariel told her dad that she almost got eaten by a shark, or that Cinderella just told the mice that the fairy godmother give her the dress instead of showing us those scenes? No because that’s lazy, and it’s better to show the audience these scenes. If they showed us Flynn’s backstory, we could have understood his character better and see how hard life was for him. But the creators thought it was better to have Flynn tell us his boring sob story.

We don’t know anything about him. How long has Flynn been stealing? Is he from white land or some other place? How many places has he been to? Why is he going to get killed for stealing an ugly crown? The movie doesn’t answer that or make any mention of it. We also don’t even know his real personality! We have been told that the Flynn Rider thing is all an act because he had low self-esteem or something. However, the movie never showed us his real personality or scenes that hinted to us that he’s faking. No scenes where he’s alone and lets his real personality shows through to the audience. We can only assume that his real personality is as bland as the golden age Disney princes.

He got away with the messed up things he did. Nobody called him out on being manipulative to Rapunzel when she was having a breakdown and bring her to a bar filled with criminals! Flynn was even enjoying seeing Rapunzel freaking out and uncomfortable with the bar. People praise him for protecting her when things went wrong in the bar, but he was the one who got them in the situation in the first place. He also stole a crown that belonged to a kidnapped baby and betrayed his team. When the twins got back at him for the shit he did, I’m supposed to feel bad for him? Plus, Disney stans attack princes of color like Aladdin for lying and Naveen for being a jerk. Yet they praise Flynn even though he did worse things than those two.

[elisysd]

38. What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around?

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Falling - Harry Styles

Ethan didn’t usually like press conferences. He hated journalists most of the time. They always asked him the same questions over and over, hoping for a different answer each time. They were, most of the time, about his dad and their relationship and he hated that. But what he hated even more were press conferences with Martin.

“Lucy Van Hoecker for Sports 1, a question for Ethan. Rumors are that you are not going to renew your contract with Maserati for next year. Is there some truth in it?”

“Absolutely not. My contract with them does end at the end of the year but if I’m frank with you, the discussions about a renewal have not started yet. But I want to stay with the team and we all believe that I did a great job for the first part of the season with maximizing the points for the team. They know my love for the brand and how dedicated I am.”

“Oliver Stone, for Sky Sport, I have a question for Martin. We saw Ferrari make a big jump with the new package and are now closer to securing the P2 with a nice gap from Audi before the summer break. What are the goals for the second part of the season?”

“To fight in the front of course. We saw that we are starting to be able to fight with Lamborghini, we still are lacking race pace and the team works daily to improve on all aspects so we are able to have a weekend that we put together, from the free practices to the quali and the race. We made a huge step forward but now we need to improve on our consistency.

“Rose Almenovar for ESPN, another question for Martin. We all saw the rivalry on tracks between Ethan and yourself that led to probably the most outstanding battles on track for this first part of the season. Where is it coming from? Ethan can also answer.”

“I mean… Ethan is a great driver, it’s always amazing to be able to fight with someone like this. We are both hot headed on track so it has resulted in a few incidents but at the end of the day, that’s why we race. To be the best and for that you need to improve. And what is better than someone that is challenging you on all levels to do that? Even if sometimes I think that his driving style is not fit for Formula 1 and he might have a nice place in rallye. So if his contract is not renewed, maybe it’s a path that he can explore!” Martin added in a laugh, making Ethan clenched his jaw.

“At least, I have a driving style. It’s no blend like some drivers out there. It’s how I learned it.”

“Yeah, but is it really your driving style or did you just copy your dad?”

Feeling that it would implode soon, the journalists started to question Ludwig that was there as well and when it was finally all over, Ethan almost jumped out of the couch and ran to the exit. He could hear, someone walking fast behind him and a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry, mate. I wanted it to be a joke but it didn’t come out as I wanted to.” said Martin.

“What? The rallye part or my dad? You’re so obsessed with him, if you are a fan just tell me I can ask him to sign you an autograph.” Ethan replied.

He was nervous. But not the good kind and Martin was not helping.

“Admit it, though… You are in F1 mostly because of your dad. It made it easier, you can’t blame me or any of the other drivers who actually worked their asses off to get there, to make fun of you. It’s not mean. You are just freaking privileged, admit it.”

“Would you tell that about Romy?” Ethan asked, stopping dead in his tracks and facing Martin.

“Romy is not the same…”

“No, because you are not jealous of her relationship with Julia. On the other hand, you hate that I have Julia and you don’t but guess what? She doesn’t care about you. She doesn’t care about your pathetic flirting attempts. She doesn’t care about you when she is in my bed moaning my name. She doesn’t think of you. Not even for a second.”

“Maybe I am jealous. Maybe I do think I would treat her better than you can. Because, you talk about her and act around her like she belongs to you. Like she was a prize that you won and let me tell you something, keep going and you’ll lose her. Because she might not be my girlfriend but I think I know her enough to say that she is not a bird that will be happy in the cage you are trapping her in. She is made to fly. But you are not ready to help her do that. You’ll screw up. In the same way you always screw up something on track. And I’ll be there to repair your mistakes.”

“I’ll show you who will screw up on Sunday. And that won’t be me I can assure you.”

“Is that a threat, Verstappen?”

“No. It’s a promise. I hope for your sake that you won’t start next to me.”

When Julia finally landed in Montreal, she was happy. Happy to finally see Ethan and to take him in her arms, happy to feel his lips on hers, happy to just be with him. She was looking forward to that. She was not happy to feel the cold air on her face. It was not cold, maybe she was exaggerating but it was colder than Monaco for sure. She shivered a little bit and couldn’t wait to go to her hotel to sleep and be ready for the race that was going to happen tomorrow. She wasn’t able to watch quali or the free practices, busy to sort everything out before she had to leave.

As soon as she arrived in her room, exhausted, she decided to catch up on what she had missed. She quickly looked over the qualifying results, and was so happy for Ethan’s P6. She sent him a quick text to tell him that she was very busy and only managed to see the results and that she hoped for a nice race tomorrow. She believed in him and even if she wouldn’t be able to watch the race tomorrow, she would think of him a lot and was sending him with all her strength. She felt bad to lie to him, she wanted nothing more but to tell him she was there, not far away from him but she hoped the surprise effect would work. She smiled imagining his face, not expecting her. She had everything ready, she would hide in the Ferrari’s garage and when the race would be over she would come out, wearing a Maserati’s shirt with his number 32 embroidered on her back. She was so excited.

It was late in the city, the sign that she needed to sleep. But before, she wanted to hear his voice one last time. She set up the qualifying interview and watched Ethan’s determined face appear.

“You’ll start behind Martin’s Ferrari tomorrow. What can we expect?”

“Well, it will be something to watch for sure, so I would be you, I would keep an eye on that first corner. I’m very focused on tomorrow and I really want to end the first part of the season on a high note.”

“So, any ideas on the strategy tomorrow?”

“Well, you will have to wait and see!” he ended the interview with a smile.

She didn’t really like what she could see in his eyes and she hoped with everything she had that he wouldn’t try anything stupid.

Julia was biting her nails inside the garage, her eyes glued to the screen and her headphones comfortably resting on her ears. Ethan’s post qualifying interview worried her. She had never seen him so ready to fight. She didn’t know if it was because Martin was P5, him P6 and considering their rivalry he just wanted to show him who was the best, or maybe he just wanted to end the first part of the season of the high but still, she was stressed out.

The formation lap went on without any incidents and now they only have to wait for the start. Julia found a chair in the back and dragged it in a corner to be away and hidden from the cameras. She didn’t want to be seen and she didn’t want to admit that she could feel her legs shaking. There was utter silence in the garage until the lights went out. Kyle took off very well, quickly followed by Romy that was going to attack at the first corner. She was so focused on them that she didn’t notice the red car going off the track, turning on itself, upside down until it flipped off of the barrier. The focused silence turned into a scary one as soon as the whole team registered what just happened. They were all focused on the start and what was in front that they didn’t see what was happening straight away.

“Martin? Martin? Do you hear me?” it was his race engineer that she was hearing.

On the screen they showed a replay of the start from Martin’s point of view. Everyone could see a wheel making a slight contact with his rear, making him slide off the track. First, two spins before by an unknown matter, the car kept spinning around but this time upside down. Normally, the gravel should have slowed him down but it hadn’t been the case, making Julia think that the security didn’t really check the track before, to finally ended up flipping over the barrier, near the grand stand. Julia could see the medics and firemen rushing to his side as flames could be seen coming off the engine. Panic started to arise in Julia as they were struggling to approach the car. The race was obviously suspended and she didn’t see straight away Elijah coming back, visibly shaken and running to her dad’s side. Probably to see if he had some news. On the broadcast they were still showing multiple points of view from the crash until it came to Ethan. She didn’t need the sound to understand what happened out there. The slight but very determined swerve to the left, wasn’t leaving much to imagination. It had been deliberate to the point that when Julia finally processed the information she had to throw up in the first bin she found.

She couldn’t believe it. How could he have been this stupid? Even more than that. She was furious but it would be a concern for later. She managed to stand up searching for any information. Her dad was standing with Elijah. They both looked pale and Julia ran to them.

“Any news?” she asked.

“The firemen managed to stop the fire, that’s a good thing. He is alive, so that’s a relief. The only concern we have is that they can’t get him out of there, the car embedded itself between the two sets of barriers. They would need to touch the car to get him out of there but they can’t touch anything before the ambulance arrived. So now, we have to wait.” her dad explained, in a calm voice despite the evident worry in his eyes.

“Do you know what happened?” the look he gave her was all she needed to have the confirmation that he had the same conclusion as her.

“I’m sorry Julia, but I can’t let that move from Ethan slide. It was not a race incident, he did it on purpose.”

“I know and I agree. I.. I can’t believe he would do something like that…”

On the screens of the race control she could finally see the medics doing their job and it’s a little relieved that she saw a shaking Martin, barely standing on his legs coming out of the car under the applause of the fans. Two medics were standing next to him, supporting him and almost dragging him to the car.

“I wish I could go to him…” sighed Charles.

“I’ll go. I’ll keep you posted. I don’t want to stay here anyway and I want to be useful. The ambulance will come here, right?” seeing her dad nodding, she added “I’ll go wait for them, then. I’ll see you later.”

In Maserati’s garage, Ethan never looked so pale. No one was looking at him, not even Chloe. He had tried to talk to his team principal but the look he gave him quickly discouraged him to do so. He had never intended for the crash to be that violent. He just wanted to send Martin in the techpro. He never thought that it would end like that. He should have known better, he should know that the slightest touch in the wrong place could cause a massive crash.  He wanted to hide. He wanted to crawl somewhere and never come back. He felt like there was an invisible hand squeezing his throat but he couldn’t get out of the garage, the cameras would find him. Immediately he imagined the reactions in the media and it hit him like a truck at full speed. He might just have given the final blow to his career. No one would trust him on the track anymore. And only because he had been petty and jealous of a guy. He felt tears in his eyes and immediately put back his helmet and the visor down.

“Ethan. Come here for a minute."He recognised his team principal’s voice and without a word, he followed him. “We are summoned to the FIA office, right now. They want to hear your version of the incident before deciding on what they will do.”

He didn’t say a word and walked in the paddock to the FIA control center as fast as he could.

“We watched the replays and we want to understand what happened. From what we can see there was no need for you to swerve like that, you had no one besides you. So, a simple question, was it intentional?”

“Yes.” he didn’t want to lie, he wanted to own up to his mistake and hope for the best. “Martin and I, we don't see eye to eye, and I know it’s no excuses, really. I just wanted to send him off the track, that’s all, I didn’t want it to be like that. Is he okay?”

“He is on his way to the hospital, that’s all we will be saying. So it was your choice only to do that, right? No team orders?”

“No, if you want a culprit, that’s me.”

“In that case… We are giving you eleven penalty points. Meaning as from now on, you’ll only have one point left on your super license.”

Ethan gulped. There was no room for mistakes now, even the slightest or it would be a one-race ban. On one hand it wasn’t the end of the world, it could have been worse. But knowing that he could have prevented it, that the sanction and the reason would always hang over his head… that made him feel bad. He felt like shit.

“I understand,” he said in a low voice.

When he left the office, his team principal was still waiting for him.

“The race will resume in fifteen minutes. You understand that I don’t want you to go back there. Not after today. Go home, Ethan. Focus on yourself, get yourself together for the sake of the team but for you most importantly. Because what you did today, that’s something I don’t want to see. I’m ashamed of you. You don’t deserve the race suit you are wearing. You are not worthy of it. I don’t want you near the media, I want you to lay low. I want everybody to forget your existence.”

Ethan never felt so alone in his entire life. He quickly came back to his driver’s room, got rid of his suit for more casual clothes and quickly headed out. He knew what he had to do and that was starting with going to see Charles to apologize. He hoped he would hear him out. He still had time but had to be quick, nonetheless. He spotted the Ferrari’s team principal talking to his mechanics near the mountains of debris of corrugated iron. When Charles saw him, he had a dark look on his face. He quickly approached him, taking him by the arms, almost dragging him to the back.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Charles said in a cold voice.

“Charles, please..”

“It’s Mister Leclerc, from now on.”

“I… I didn’t mean for any of it to happen… I just… I.. I have no excuses. I’m wrong on so many levels. Is he okay?”

“In the hospital for some check ups. That’s all you need to know. Now excuse me, I have to inspect the damage you caused and try to figure out a way to not break the budget cap. I might ask Maserati to pay for them, after all. Or maybe you should. A way to own up to your mistakes, to grow up. I thought your dad was stupid and dangerous when he first started and god knows that some crashes he caused could have ended up badly but congrats Ethan, you might have found a way to surpass him.”

Ethan wasn’t expecting a warm welcome from Charles, of course not, but a part of him thought he would at least ask how he was doing, that he would care. If Ethan might have needed a wake up call, it might have been the one. He felt like his world was completely shattering around him, as if he was a human bomb and had willingly pressed the detonator button. If he was losing everything, he only had himself to blame. His mind drifted off to Julia, on the other side of the world. What was he going to say to her? Would she even listen? He shook his head, that would be a cross to bridge later, right now, he had something very important to do.

After asking some very nice medics, he was able to know where Martin had been transported to. And after a little flirtation with the woman in her fifties at the desk, he managed to get his room number. Arriving at the right floor, he gulped. What was he going to say? I’m sorry for almost killing you, it was not on purpose, I just wanted you to DNF? That sounded so stupid and even worse than a simple I’m sorry. For a minute he wondered if it was a good idea. If Martin even wanted to see him. As he approached the room, his hands slightly sweating, he could hear laughs in the room. He wasn’t alone. In a way it was reassuring, if he wanted to punch Ethan at least someone would be there to stop him.

He took a deep breath and knocked before hearing a ‘come in’. He slowly opened the door and almost shut it right away when he saw Julia in there. The laughter died down as soon as they saw Ethan. Martin looked at him with a surprised face, clearly not expecting him and Julia look was cold. Ethan’s eyes were glued on her and he swore that he had never seen her looking at him like that, even when she hated him. It was a mix between cold anger, disappointment and sadness.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her emotionless voice contrasted with the look on her face.

“I wanted to see Martin…”

“Why? To finish what you started? Trying to kill him on the tracks wasn’t enough?”

She was standing up now, and he could see the tears in her eyes. He didn’t know what to say. All he wanted was to try to make things right, for once. Not only to appease his mind but also for the people around him, for her.

“Julia, please… let me explain?”

“Explain what? That you deliberately made him crash? That you didn’t care about the amount of work the mechanics and the engineers are going to put into repairing the car. People that have families, that don’t travel in private jets or sleep in five star hotels, people that are dedicating their lives to the sport despite how hard it is. But of course, you don’t think about them. you don’t care. Because you only care about yourself, your little comfort. You don’t care about the people around you.”

“I just… I just wanted to say sorry to you Martin… I… I never wanted that to happen… I…” he stuttered, feeling powerless for the first time in his life.

“Leave Ethan. You don’t have anything to do here.” she said and as she was moving away he tried to grip her hands in a desperate attempt to feel her warmth, to feel like he had not massively fucked up, only to feel a warm sting on his right cheek. “I don’t recognise you. I don’t like the guy that was out there today. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear from you. I want you to leave me alone. And don’t bother coming with me to the wedding. I prefer to go alone than to be near you.”

It was the last straw. He clenched his jaw and nodded, his eyes looking at his surroundings but avoiding her. He closed his eyes, trying to get back his composure and without a second look, he left. He didn’t know how he made it unscathed to the hospital parking lot but when he finally was out, his knees buckled under him making him fall to the ground and he let his emotions out in the open. The frustration, the sadness, the anger against himself… everything. He could feel his body shaking as tears were flowing out of his eyes and running down his cheeks. He didn’t try to stop them, he couldn’t and didn’t want to. He didn’t know how long he stayed there, alone, he only knew that he was exhausted and that he needed to wake up from this nightmare.

In the hospital room, it was deadly silent, only interrupted by the heart monitor and its regular beeps. Julia was still looking at the door, her breathing heavy and her cheeks red. The lighter mood that Martin had tried to set up in a desperate attempt to make her smile was long gone.

“Julia…”

“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about it.” she said abruptly.

“You were harsh with him. I’m not trying to excuse him, I really don’t. He fucked up and what he did was not okay. Not at all but… I think I know why he did it and I think it’s also my fault.”

“Nothing can justify what he has done, Martin. It could have been so much worse than that.”

“But it’s not. See, I’m alive and well. What I mean is, I did say a few not so nice things out of spite and because I knew he would react. I brought this on myself too. I know his dad is a really sensitive topic and still, I used that against him. I just didn’t know you were also a very sensitive one, maybe even more sensitive than his dad. I think it’s what made him snap. Don’t be too harsh on him, he is remorseful enough. I’ve never seen him like this, I think it says enough.”

Julia sighed, rubbing her eyes. She was exhausted and she could feel the headache pounding.

“You are idiots. Both of you. Not for the same reasons but still. You know how he is, you know how he reacts. You are always trying to pick on him, you knew that at some point it would end badly. I just… I can’t believe it. All of this for what? What good did it make? It’s a lose-lose situation.”

“I’m sorry, Julia. For everything. For the situation I put you in because I was jealous, for what happened with Ethan because I can see how it impacts you and the last thing I want is to see you sad, for the friendship we could have if I hadn’t been so stubborn and insistent with you… I’m sorry about a lot of things.”

“Not as sorry as I am. I’m sorry if I made you think that there could have been something between us.”

“And I’m sorry I’ve crossed so many lines and boundaries.”

“It ‘s all good…” she whispered as he took her hand in his to squeeze it lightly.

“I’ll always be there for you. As a friend. Nothing more. I learned my lesson.”

She smiled gently at him, nodding her head and squeezed his hand as well. It was late when she left the hospital. Martin would be discharged the next day and that was a relief. They only wanted to keep him for the night, just to make sure everything was alright. She was exhausted. Mentally exhausted. And when she saw her dad waiting for her, in front of her room, she ran to him and cried like she had never cried before. When she finally ran out of tears, she looked at her dad.

“Martin is okay.”

“He called me, I know. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You’ve been through a lot today with…”

“He came. To the hospital. I’ve never seen him so distraught, so ashamed, so lost and his eyes dad… they looked empty. I want to be mad, I’m mad. I’m even more than that. I want to hate him for what he has done, for what he puts the team through but…”

“You love him.” he finished at her place.

“I do… more than anything.” it made her feel good to finally say it. “I just want to understand. I want to know what went through his mind. But at the same time, i’m not sure how we would recover from something like that.”

“You both need to talk. Would you ask me, I would tell you to not go near him even if I know that he wouldn’t hurt you. It’s just… I’ve never expected him to do something like that. It scares me, Ju’.”

“I told him horrible things dad, things that I didn’t mean. I didn’t even let him talk, I…”

“It’s okay. Breathe. You were mad, you let your emotions get the best of you. I did too. I saw him and I did some things that hurt him, as well.”

“I need to call him. I want to know that he is okay.”

Her dad nodded and kissed her on the forehead before leaving her, not without telling her that he was at the end of the corridor if she needed him.

Julia entered her room and sat down on her bed, her knees up against her chest. She took off her phone, finally noticing the hundreds of texts and calls that she had missed. She quickly read them until she was a few from Kat and Max, worried about the fact that they couldn’t reach Ethan, that he was not answering his phone. It was the same for Kyle and Ludwig, she even had a text from Chloe. The last one was from a couple of minutes ago. She felt a lump in her throat. Shaking, she tried calling him as well, only to end up straight on his voicemail.

“Ethan please, it’s me… I know that maybe you don’t want to hear from me, after what I said but… please, answer to someone. We are all freaking scared. I’m scared. I need to know you’re okay. Please.”

Author's note: Yikes... Ethan, what did you do? What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[witchersmistress]

The Basement part 2

Hello my lovies!! Part 2 of the basement scene, this is part three for rainstorms and hate sex, im know there will be a few unanswered questions.

as per my usual. i do not give permission to copy my work or use my work in anyway without permission. so help me if you do, i will haunt you for the rest of your days.

Trigger Warnings: Clausterphobia, small spaces, foul language, 18+ highly reccomended.

Word count: 6.4K

 Fuck. My phone’s battery is about one percent. Still, it’s better than the alternative. I tense as I step past Baron, sure he’s going to grab me. He lets me pass, but Duke reaches out and pinches my tit. Okay, talking shit is one thing, and his rape jokes are bad enough, but now he laid a hand on me. “Oh, you want to get physical?” I ask, my hands balling into fists. “Yeah,” he says with a sloppy grin. “That’s right, baby. Let me taste that sweet cherry pie.” I swing, and he doesn’t even duck. It’s a beautiful right hook that meets his temple with the aim of a fucking archer. He crumples to the floor in a heap, and I jump back, fists raised and adrenaline pumping through me, ready for Baron to come at me.

“You gonna come get yours?” I ask. He just shakes his head. “I’ve felt your fists. Besides, I’m more into the challenge than taking what I can by brute force.” I didn't trust him for a second, so I went back into the next room. It’s dark in there, since this is the only flashlight. I swallow hard, wiping my hands on my jeans, and feel my way to the dirt tunnel. It’s chilly in the basement, and my clothes are still damp from the rain. At least, I tell myself that’s why I start shivering the second my shins are on the cold dirt floor of the tunnel. I force myself onwards, my heart thudding in my ears. To avoid thinking about the ceiling collapsing, I focus on the tunnel behind me, trying to hear if Baron’s coming in with me. Each scrape of my own knees on the floor makes me tremble. God, it’s so tight. My shoulders are pressed against the walls, and I wonder if maybe this tunnel doesn’t lead out at all. Maybe it leads to… Nothing.

 I’ll be stuck in a dead end in the dark, waiting for Duke to come rape me and probably kill me. Because fuck if I’m just going to lie there and take it without fighting back. I’ve seen way too many movies where people go into a cave or a tunnel looking for escape and instead come upon a pile of skeletons left by all the other idiots who tried to escape before them. The ceiling of the tunnel brushes my back—or was it a bat?—and I think I’m going to be sick. I close my eyes and try to breathe, though it feels like there’s no oxygen in the tunnel. What the fuck am I doing? I’ve just basically buried myself alive. I press my palms to the cold dirt under them and think about the nights I spent locked in the closet at home. The hours I’d be in there, sometimes so long I wet myself before Mom dragged her hungover ass up and remembered where I was.

 Then she’d rage at me and smack me around a little and tell me to clean myself up, that I was a disgusting pig. Or if she had a boyfriend over, she’d howl with laughter at my wet pants because she didn’t want men to see her pissed. A sense of humor is sexy, after all. No one likes an angry woman. I take another ragged breath, forcing it into the constricted airways to my panicked lungs. This is not that bad. And if I could clean up myself and the closet without crying back then, I sure as fuck won’t cry now. I didn’t freak out then, and I won’t freak out now. Once, she locked me in a cabinet because she said I’d lose my claustrophobia if I just faced it. I was curled up in a ball, with my knees to my chest, for hours. I have all the room in the world here. I could lie down flat and crawl on my stomach. I can roll over. I can move. I start forward again. After a time, I hear echoing scuffles high above. I reach up a tentative hand and can’t feel the ceiling. I climb to my knees, then my feet. Relief floods through me in a rush that brings tears to my eyes and a whoop of relief to my throat. Blinking back the wetness, I hold a hand in front of me and one on the wall, and I walk until the wall falls away. I turned on my phone for the last time. No skeletons. No cage with Mabel Darling being held captive like Gretel waiting for the witch to eat her. There are two tunnels off the side of a cavernous room. I continue straight ahead, and at the far side of the room, I find a door, just like Baron said. Heart galloping in my chest, I find the knob and twist. It doesn’t budge.

Fuck. I sink down on the floor, shaking with spent energy, the adrenaline leaving my limbs. My fingers are trembling and stiff with cold, but I try to pick the lock for a while, anyway. When I can’t, I consider sleeping here. At least I’m away from the guys. But it’s so fucking cold, and I’m shivering so hard I can’t possibly relax. My phone dies, and suddenly, the darkness seems close and oppressive and terrifying. Even though I wasn’t using the light, there was comfort in knowing it was an option if I needed it. Now, a drunk obnoxious Duke seems preferable to staying here alone, not knowing if someone will come through the door and who it might be. But going back to the twins means facing the tunnel again. I did it before, though. I can do it again. I know there are no forks until the tunnel opens up, which means I just have to find the tunnel in the dark and hope it’s the right one. It’s not too hard. I just have to go straight ahead. I gather all my courage and creep across the room in the dark. When I find the tunnel, I take a deep breath and barrel in. I don’t think, just charge through as fast as I can. Somehow, it doesn’t seem so bad on the way back. When I finally see a scant light ahead, my heart starts racing with relief. I burst out of the tunnel into the dirt room in the basement of the CIA office. The familiarity itself is a relief, and I can finally breathe easy. Duke is sitting up in a chair, a beer in one hand, his eyes unfocused and his jaw slack. A lump has already formed where I decked him. Baron sits on the stone slab, his phone sitting beside him with the light on.

 “How was it?” he asks, holding up his beer. “Fuck you,” I say. “You knew it was locked.” “Faced your fears, though, didn’t you? One more Midnight Swan challenge down.” “Is that what this is?” I ask. “My initiation?” “Depends,” he says. “It could be.” “Bullshit. August said I could never join.” “August’s not the only Swan,” Baron counters. “He’s your leader.” “He’ll be done with you after tonight, and then he won’t care what happens to you. That’s how it works with him. When he’s done, you don’t exist to him anymore.” “Fine,” I say, planting my hands on my hips. “What do I need to do next?” “You tell me, Stalker Girl.” “Betray a friend for a Swan. See, that one might be hard, since I don’t have friends.” “Gloria’s a friend,” he says. “I’m a friend.”

“Are you, though?” He holds out a beer, the cap still on. “Have a beer. Relax. We’ll be here a while.” “I like to stay sharp.” “Me too,” he says, taking a drink from his beer. “But one beer won’t hurt.” I relent and take it. At least it might warm me up a little, and to be honest, I need to calm down and think this through. Like when they threw me in the dumpster with Colt, I’m attacking a big problem with a tiny knife. If I chill and wait it out, someone will come open the door. If this is some kind of hazing for the Midnight Swans, then I need to see what they want me to do. So, I sat down on the stone slab next to Baron. “What’s the last challenge?” I ask. “The gauntlet.” “For a girl?” he asks. “That means we sex you in.” I force myself to swallow my beer without reaction. “Who does?” “All of us.” I squeeze the cold bottle to keep my hands from shaking. “All the Swans?” “A gangbang, baby,” Duke slurs, holding up his beer. “And this has happened before?” I ask.

“No,” Baron says. “Because no chicks at this office  would do it. But I bet you would.” “You bet wrong.” “Well, technically, the gauntlet only requires the participation of three Swans,” he says. “And you’ve already fucked August. So you're a third of the way there.” “This is your chance,” Duke says. “Three for three.” He leans forward in his chair, then tilts slowly until he topples out, as if in slow motion. It would be comical, but I’m a little worried he’s going to choke on his puke and die in his sleep. “He’s not wrong,” Baron says. Duke rolls onto his back on the floor. “Gonna rest my eyes,” he mumbles. “Then we’ll tag team her.” “My phone died,” I say after a minute, nodding at Baron’s light. “Want to call someone to let us out?” “No can do,” he says, taking a drink. “No service down here.” “Right.” We sip our beers in silence for a few minutes. Then Baron climbs off the rock and sits on the floor beside Duke. “My phone’s going to die if I don’t turn off the light,” he says. “We should all just get some sleep.”

“Why don’t I trust you in the dark?” “Because you’re paranoid and think everyone wants to fuck you.” “Says the guy who was just trying to get in my pants.” “That was me,” Duke says, not opening his eyes. “Come sit by us,” Baron says. “It’ll be warmer. I won’t mess with you.” “Fine,” I say, sliding off the stone and going to sit by them. Despite Duke’s usual drunken asshole behavior, they haven’t done anything. Baron’s right. They are my friends. We’ve been hanging out for a few months now. I sit with them every day at lunch, go to their games, and am part of their circle. It’s not like it was at the beginning of the year, before I was a Walker's  girl. I’m under August’s protection now. They might want him to be done with me, might try to convince me it’s true. But I know different things, and they know it, too. He didn’t lock us down here. Baron did. Baron has the key. He wants August to dump me, but he won’t risk his brother’s rage by touching his plaything before August gives the okay. Baron turns off his light, and we both lie down. He turns toward me, and I tense, but he only lays an arm across me. “So, not into being a Swan if it means you have to work for it?” “Would you let three dudes fuck you to get in?” “Touché.”

For a while, none of us spoke. After a while, Baron sighs. “You know, this is where they kept August when he was kidnapped,” he says drowsily. A chill explodes over my skin, and I lose my breath for a second. “What?” “Not in the main room,” Baron says, petting my hair absently. “Back here, in the dirt like an animal.” “And he still comes down here?” I ask, remembering that weird encounter in the dark, when he brought me down here and started kissing me and said all those creepy things… It’s safe here, in the dark. It doesn’t hurt anymore. Suddenly, I’m dizzy with the realization of how sick this all is—him forcing girls down here to blow him, those things he said that probably some sicko said to him… “Are you kidding?” Duke asks. “Our brother’s not afraid of anything.” 

I can hear the pride in his voice, and it’s sweet how much he thinks of his big brother. But it doesn’t change how fucked up this is. Maybe it was him that locked me in here with his brothers, knowing what they might do to me. “He’s the one who wanted to keep the Swans going after the office  and the police shut them down,” Baron says. “He wanted to come down here when we all thought it was a bad idea. But he wanted to keep the meetings here.” “Why?” I ask, too terrified to even think about it.

“Probably to show how little it affects him,” Baron says. “To show the Darlings they didn’t win.” I’m not convinced. If anything, it shows me how much it still affects him. He can’t let it go, just like he can’t stop going to the bridge, where I’m pretty sure his sister died. Instead of avoiding everything, he revels in the pain of it like a masochist, never letting himself forget. He’s punishing himself, though I can’t begin to imagine what he thinks he did wrong in either instance. “He’s not going to let that shit own him,” Duke says. “He rules his past.” “Can I ask you something?” I say after a minute. “When he was kidnapped… Was he assaulted?” “Yeah,” Baron says. “They beat the fuck out of him. Like, half his teeth are implants. He had a concussion, but he wanted to go right back out on the field.” He sounds so proud, like that makes his brother a hero. My ribs ache at the thought of August needing to prove himself that badly. “Dad had to find a doctor who would sign off for him to play,” Duke says, laughing and then hiccupping. “He was so pissed the first one wouldn’t. I think he got him fired. Then he found a good one.” “Now they golf together,” Baron says with a chuckle. “You never know when you’ll need a medical professional. Helps to have all kinds in your pocket.”

A shiver rolls through me. I wonder how much of that fight was August’s, and how much was Mr. Dolce’s. This is how they took power. Paying off people to do what they want, bulldozing those who wouldn’t. Nothing stands in their way—like a father, like sons. Despite August’s resentment, they’re all on the same side, all in it together. August is eighteen. He doesn’t have to obey his father or even live there. He could stop going to Hockington if he wanted, but something keeps him going back. Is it the same thing that keeps him coming back here, some kind of penance? I clear my throat. “I meant, like, sexually assaulted.” “Dude, that’s fucked up,” Duke slurs. “August’s a man.” “Men get raped, too.” “August would never take it up the ass,” Baron says. “You really are sick, Jailbird” “Yeah,” Duke chimes in. “How could you ask that about a guy who’s fucking you? Does he seem gay to you?” “The ignorance of that statement is honestly astounding.” “Nothing like that happened,” Baron says flatly. “Old Man Darling brought him here, and he was beaten to within an inch of his life, had half his teeth knocked out, his skull fractured, ribs broken, shoulder dislocated… He

was starved and dehydrated and all kinds of shit. But don’t even think about anything perverted like that.” “Because none of that’s perverted,” I mutter. “Where’s my beer?” Duke asks. “Did they catch the guy?” I ask. “Sort of,” Baron says. “That whole investigation was botched from the start, though. The redneck cops around here don’t know how to deal with real problems.” Or maybe the problems weren’t as real as Baron thinks. Dixie told me that their own sister sent some letter saying it was all faked. But August couldn’t have faked that, could he? I mean, I guess he could have let someone beat him up and then say it was the Darlings, but damn. Those are some extreme lengths to go to just to frame someone. But then, August’s nothing if not extreme. And Dixie could be wrong. Maybe there was no letter, and if there was, maybe it wasn’t from Crystal at all but from a Darling trying to get the charges dropped. And here I am, helping them. “You found him here?” I ask, rubbing my arms, trying to get the goosebumps to go away.

“Has anyone seen my beer?” Duke asks, groping at me until I slap his hand away. His voice is slurred and sleepy, though, and I know we’re about to lose him for the night. “No one found him here,” Baron says. “Devlin’s dad put him in their attic to hide him until he died. But they found him before he did.” “Who found him?” “Crystal and Devlin.” I shudder harder. All I’ve ever heard from Colt and Dixie and even August is how great Crystal was—that everyone loved her, wanted her. She taught them so much. She was such a good, selfless person. But I haven’t heard this part. “After his dad tried to kill August, she still chose Devlin over him?” I ask. “Yeah,” Baron says. “August called her on it, too. He’s blunt as fuck. He thinks he did something wrong because of it, but she needed to hear it. And August’s never been afraid to hit those hard truths, y’know? He’ll say what everyone’s thinking, do the hard shit that no one else wants to do. He doesn’t let anything stand in his way. He gets shit done.” I can practically hear Baron and Duke both swelling with pride every time they talk about August. It’s clear they worship him. But that doesn’t mean they always agree with August. This is the first time I’ve heard anyone paint Crystal as anything less than a saint. I want to hear more, but I’m too fucking cold to ignore it. “Any chance someone left a jacket down here?” I ask. “Or a dry change of clothes?” Baron’s hand finds mine in the dark. “Damn, you are cold,” he says, sitting up. He moves around, and a second later, his warm hoodie envelopes me in its cozy fabric and the scent of him, like boys and faint cologne or deodorant. I pull it down over me and huddle into it with such gratitude I might be tempted to fuck him again if he asked. “Come here and put your head on me, and I’ll tell you both a bedtime story,” Baron says. “I’ve got an extra sucker you can eat while you listen. This is a little tale I like to call, The Fall of the Darlings. Don’t worry. It has a happy ending.”

I adjust my position so I’m lying perpendicular to Baron so I can rest my head on his stomach. It’s better than the cold floor. “Are you going to tell me about how August called your sister on choosing the Darlings over him, and she went ahead with it, anyway?” “Fucked up, right?” I can’t help but agree with him. Who would choose anyone over August? But then, that’s not fair. I’m just learning how crazy love makes a person. Who’s to say I wouldn’t sell out my own family for August? “Did his dad go to jail?” I ask, thinking of Mr. D, who wanted to live vicariously through my sex stories. No conjugal visits, apparently. “For a few months,” Baron says, pressing a sucker into my hand. “They charged him with conspiracy or intent or something along those lines. But his lawyer got him off. The legal system here is even more fucked up than New York. But we got justice.” I unwrap the sucker slowly in the dark. “You killed him?” “Nah,” Baron says. “August doesn’t believe in murder. He says death is easy. Life is suffering.” “So, he’s like an angry Buddha?” Baron chuckles. “Sure. If you die, your suffering ends. If you live, you can suffer for a long time.” “And you made him suffer?” “The whole family,” Baron says proudly.

 “While Devlin’s dad was in jail, we made his mom play with us. That lasted a couple months, until she checked herself into Cedar Crest.” Even though people like me could never afford Cedar Crest, of course I’ve heard about the treatment facility. It’s one of the few local claims to fame, since celebrities hole up there for treatment on occasion. It’s basically a resort, or a psych hospital for the rich and famous. “Is she still there?” I ask, suddenly wondering if Mr. D is a man at all. “Nah, when Devlin’s dad got out of jail, he took her out and they moved away. Never even came back to see if they could salvage anything from the fire.”  “That’s the house next door?” I ask. “Devlin’s house?” “Yep,” he says. “Such a tragedy it was lost in a fire.” I roll my eyes in the dark. “I’m sure you had nothing to do with that.” “Would we do something like that?” he asks, his tone filled with mock innocence. “You don’t know where he went?” “We know,” he says. “But they were gone from Faulkner, so we moved on. You know what was really fun, Harper?

 Seeing their empire crumble as we dismantled it brick by brick.” “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a sociopath?” “Aw, now, you like watching people, too, don’t you, Harper? Always nosing around our business, digging into August’s life. Trying to get him wrapped around your little finger. We’re not so different, you and me.” I shrug my shoulders against his side. “Maybe you’re right.” I’m not so sure, though. I don’t glory in people’s downfall. Or maybe I do. Before August meant something to me, I vowed to take them down. Not to take their throne, but just for the joy of watching them fall. Maybe I’m exactly like Baron, I just don’t hate the Walkers anymore. When they were my enemies, I wanted to watch them burn.

After a minute of sucking on our candy in silence, Baron shifts around to get comfortable and then goes on. “The grandfather Darling, John, had seven sons. All started with J. So we went through them all. After Devlin’s dad, Justin, there’s Joseph—Preston’s dad—and Jacob. That’s Colt and Mabel’s dad. Joseph went to prison for murder. That guy was definitely involved in August’s kidnapping. Get this. He’s such a dick that even Preston refused to be a character witness at his trial.” That’s the Darling I suspect is Mr. D. The one I’ve been feeding information to. I’ve thought of him as a friend before, but I know that’s an illusion created by my own lack. He’s not a friend. He’s a guy so evil his own son wouldn’t stand up for him. And I’ve been giving him information about a boy I love. It makes me feel sick and dirty in a way even his creepy sexual interest never has. Baron goes on when I don’t answer. “We fucked with Lindsey a little, but she was too easy, and then Preston threatened Gloria, so we moved on to Colt’s family. We had some fun with them.” I think of the missing finger on Colt’s hand, the burn scars. His dad’s missing finger, and his cane. Mabel is not just blowing out of town but changing her name so they can’t track her down. I swallow hard, wanting to hear the details I’ve been in the dark about for so long, but fuck. The blasé tone in Baron’s voice makes my skin crawl.

“And then there’s Jeremiah and Jedediah. Twins, actually. Jed had some kind of accident and died of blood loss. He had kids, but they’d already grown and moved away. Jeremiah has two kids. His son would have been a sophomore this year, but he disappeared mysteriously right before he would have started at Willow Heights. But he didn’t change his name, and see, I’m pretty good at finding people. We’ll be watching, and if he ever comes back, we’ll be ready. And then their daughter Magnolia will be a freshman next year. That’ll be fun.” “You don’t even know these people, and you’re literally torturing them until they die?” “They tortured August,” he says, as if that explains everything. “Some little twelve-year-old girl tortured August? Or, wait, she’d have been ten at the time?” “She’s a Darling,” he says. “They would have done the same to us. They tried. The difference is, wherever they tried, we succeeded.” “All because one of them dared to love your sister?” “They killed our sister,” he says, his voice hard. “There are two more Darling men, too. They were disowned by the grandfather and changed their names, but we found them. One of them had moved away, but one of them actually lived in the same trailer park where I believe you hail from. John Jr. I hear he was close with your mom a while back, maybe when you were really little?”

I don’t say anything to that. Lots of men have been close with my mom, and it’s not like I want to explain to Baron Dolce that my mom is a trailer park slut. “Never heard of him,” I say after a minute, because it feels like Baron’s expecting something. “Oh, well, I guess he OD’d, so he’s out of the picture, anyway.” “You literally studied Darling family history and found anyone with that name and just destroyed their lives?” “Not just their name,” he says. “Their blood. Blood makes family, not a name. A name is something you can hide behind or run from, but you can’t hide your DNA. Their blood is poison to this town. And poison has to be eliminated.” “That’s… Harsh.” “They started it.” I lie there not even sure what to say. I want to laugh at the ridiculous pettiness of his response. That’s all he has to say? They started it? That’s the excuse of a five-year-old on the playground. I’m pissed off for the Darlings and I barely know one of them. But shit. No wonder people say the Walkers are evil. They’re brutal as fuck, and Baron just sounds like he’s recounting a boring story about our grandparents when he talks. This isn’t something that happened to someone else, though. He and Duke and yes, August, did all this. Drove people to suicide. Had them imprisoned and committed to mental institutions. I shiver at the thought of what they would do if they found out I was reporting to someone about them. They’d fucking kill me is what. So I better get Mr. D what he wants and cut all ties, the sooner the better. “The Darlings started it by kidnapping August?” I ask, pulling the sucker from my mouth. “That, and stealing Crystal, and even before that, they fucked with our dad when he was in office  here. Walkers never forget.” “Can I ask you something?” I say after thinking that over. “Why do you do anything your dad says? August’s 32, and you’re what? 26? You don’t have to do that.” “You wouldn’t understand,” he says. “You come from a fucked up family.” “And yours is so functional.” “Family is everything to the Walkers,” he says. “That’s what Crystal forgot.” “Damn,” I say. “That’s cold.” “It’s a fact,” he says. “People always say that—cold hard truth, cold hard facts. But facts aren’t cold anymore than they’re hot. They’re just facts.”

And that’s the cold part, I think to myself. This guy isn’t just cold, his heart is made of ice. August can make himself that way, but there’s some switch he flips inside to get there. But August feels. He feels a whole fucking lot, probably more than he wants to. Enough that he goes into that dead-eye mode to protect himself. Baron, though… Baron’s ice cold to the core. I remember thinking that about Mr. D, and I wonder yet again if I got it wrong, if it’s not a gross old guy but a hot young guy. “So, she forgot, and she died for it,” I say. “Is that what your dad says to get you to obey him? He threatens to kill you?” “Dad would never threaten us,” Baron says. “He used to use Crystal to get August to do what he wanted, though. But he’s not blunt like August. With Dad, it’s always a subtle suggestion, a gentle reminder of where we stand.” “You admire him,” I say. It’s laced through every word he speaks, in his tone of voice, as clear as his admiration for his brother. That makes him that much scarier. He’s so detached it’s unnatural and a little terrifying. How can that same boy be lying here stroking my hair and pillowing my head, giving me his sweatshirt when I’m cold and telling me I’m his friend? “He’s a self-made millionaire,” Baron says. “What’s not to admire?” The fact that he pimps out his own kids, first off.

I don’t say anything, though. I don’t know if their father does that or if it’s August’s doing. I don’t know if the twins know, or if they do it, too. And I’m not about to spill that kind of information to anyone, not even August’s brother, without knowing. “Duke’s passed out cold,” Baron says after a few minutes. “Guess we’re alone.” “Yeah,” I say, moving to sit up. Baron’s hand tightens in my hair, though, and he sits up, so my head is in his lap. “Stay,” he says. “Maybe now that we have a minute alone together…” “What?” I ask, turning toward him even though I can’t see him in the dark. “You’re going to hit on me?” “No one would know,” he says, his fingers gently stroking my hair. “I’d know,” I say. “You’d know.” “Just a little suck?” he asks, and a second later, he pushes himself against my face. I don’t know when he whipped his dick out, but it’s hard and hot and so shocking that for a second, I don’t move. Then reality kicks in and I scramble away. “What the fuck, Baron.” “You make me so hard,” he says. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since I saw you going down on August. And listening to you lick that sucker… I know you feel it, too. You’re attracted to me.”

“Look, Baron,” I say. “Sure, I’ll admit you’re hot. Maybe if I wasn’t into your brother, I’d be into you. But I am, and I’m not.” “Just for a minute,” he says, his voice almost pleading. He takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze. “I just want to feel your mouth. I won’t even make you swallow.” He pulls my hand down, wrapping my fingers around his hard length. It throbs in my hand, and I gulp at the sensation. “No way.” I yank my hand back, my heart hammering. “You shouldn’t even be asking. The only way that’s happening is if you rape my face like your brother did.” “I’m not going to force you to do anything,” he says. “If I did, you’d tell August, and he’d kick my ass. But if you want to do it, no one will tell him. It’ll be just between us. Our little secret. Like what I told you here tonight. I trusted you. Don’t you trust me?” “It’s a little hard when you’re literally telling me to keep a secret from the guy I—the guy I’m seeing.” He’s quiet for a second, and I think he’s going to ask what I was about to say, if I was going to let slip the L-word. “Just this once?” he asks instead.

“Fuck you, Baron,” I say, getting up and feeling my way through the dark. I don’t know where I’m going, but I want to be further from him and his dick. My pulse is still stuttering, and I don’t like the uncertain feeling in my belly one bit. “I could make it worth your while,” he says. “I could make you a Swan.” “What?” “Just because you didn’t let us take turns with you, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t still count. If you fucked multiple Swans… You’d be sexed in.” “You said three of you.” “I bet I could convince Duke,” he says. “Maybe if you just gave him head, too… It’s not even sex. But we could tell them it was.” “And I’d be a Swan.” “Betray a friend for a Swan…” he says, quoting the challenges I read. “And I faced my fear in the passage?” “Didn’t you?” “So that would be all the challenges. And the gauntlet—blowing you and Duke—would get me in.” “Just like you wanted.” I think about that for a second. I could be on the inside. I’d give Mr. D everything he wanted.

. But I’d lose August, and somewhere along the way, he became more important. “I’ll pass,” I say. “I try not to go around trading sexual favors to get what I want.” “Not even when it’s what you want, too?” he asks, his voice closer than I expected. “Touch me, and you’ll see exactly how much I want it,” I say, dropping the sucker stem on the floor so my fists are ready. “And you’ll be pissing out a hole in the side of your dick for the rest of your life.” “Jesus,” he says. “You’re fucked up, you know that?” “You know what’s more fucked up? You continued to harass me when I said I wasn’t interested. I’m interested in August. That’s it. Not you, not Duke, not any of your other Swans.” “You’ll change your mind when you’re the meat in a twin sandwich,” he says. “But I’ll let you have it your way. For now.” “Gee, thanks for not raping me. Don’t let me forget to give you a gold star on our way out.” “I’d appreciate that.” I stalk over to the side of the room and find a chair. I curl up in it to wait for morning. Even with the hoodie, it’s so fucking cold I’m shivering, though.

“Come on, don’t sleep over there,” Baron says. “I put my dick away. Come over here by us. It’s too cold to sleep alone.” “I’d rather not get raped in my sleep.” “That’s not our style,” he says. “Though, if you have a kink about that, I have a friend who could help you out.” “No, thanks.” “For fuck’s sake, just relax,” he says. “I was just seeing if you wanted it bad enough. Obviously, you don’t. You’re not committed enough to be a Swan.” “And you’re not going to try to molest me in my sleep?” “What fun is that?” he asks. “If you don’t fight back, it’s not worth taking.” “You’re really selling this.” “Come on,” he says. “It’s cold down here, and you stole my hoodie, and I don’t want to snuggle my brother’s blacked-out ass. You’re going to freeze over there by yourself. I promise I won’t fuck with you anymore. I get it. You’re August’s, and until he’s done with you, you’re off limits.” “I’m sleeping with my pocketknife in my hand,” I say. “I’ll cut you if you grope me.” “Deal,” he says. “Now get over here and let us keep you warm.”

I make my way back over and slide down next to Duke. Baron scoots over and wraps an arm around me. I have to admit, it’s nice to feel them on either side of me, keeping me warm like he promised, instead of holding onto my pride and freezing my ass off in a chair. Still, I don’t sleep until I feel him relax, his breathing going deeper as he falls into sleep first. I blink awake when the electricity comes back on, the light on the ceiling flickering a few times before remaining on. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust and see August standing over us. I scramble up, my heart stampeding in my chest. My hands fly up as if to defend myself from the accusation in his eyes. “It’s not—we were just sleeping.” “Did you fuck them?” he asks quietly. “No,” I say, my hands falling to my sides. I remember Duke’s threat from last night. No matter what happened, there’s not a damn thing I can do to convince him if they say otherwise. “Not for lack of trying,” Duke says, stretching his arms over his head. Baron sits and picks up his glasses and my knife from the floor before standing. “Didn’t touch her,” he says. “We tried everything you said to.” I snatch my knife back and turn on August. “What the fuck? Is this some kind of game to you?”

He gives me a cool look. “You wanted to be a Swan. I just wanted to know how bad you wanted it.” “You were testing me? You really think I’d fuck your brothers? That’s not even part of the initiation, is it? You just wanted a reason to dump me.” “Hey, don’t be upset about it,” he says with a lazy smile. “You passed.” “You were never going to let me into the Swans, were you? This is all just a hilarious game to you, seeing what you can make me do.

Even if I passed every challenge, you’d never let me in your little, preppy boys club.” “And you should thank me for that,” he says quietly, his dark eyes going serious. “Fuck you, August,” I say, stomping past him and up the stairs. “Oh, I will,” he says behind me. “The only question is, should I let you cool down first or rage fuck you right now?” “Try it and see what happens,” I snap. It feels good to step into the library and slam the door in his face. I’m tired and sore from sleeping on the floor, not to mention I’m wearing the same clothes as yesterday but with the addition of a good amount of dirt. On top of that, I don’t even have my bag. But there’s only fifteen minutes until the morning meeting starts, which means I can’t go home without missing it. No matter what I said to Baron last night, I still fucking hate August half the time.

[mo0n-water]

hello! sorry, my day yesterday wasn’t the best so i just gave up when it deleted itself but i’m trying again today! also, that grammar mistake when i said ‘do’ instead of ‘did’ is literally painful to look at, i’m sorry.

also hello to your friend, she sounds like a great person :)

i love finding comfort in art. it’s a feeling like no other when you are reading a book written in the 19th century or a poem from the 18th century or looking at a painting from the 16th century and it understands you more than your close friends or even yourself. there’s a line in a bob dylan song: ‘then she opened up a book of poems, and handed it to me, written by an italian poet from the 13th century. and every one of them words rang true and glowed like burning coal, pouring off of every page like it was written in my soul”, i think that describes it perfectly.

life would be boring without a healthy dose of unnecessary personification.

i completely get what you are saying with the photo, i have this photo on my phone of a clearing in the woods which is quite blurry and unremarkable to the untrained eye but it’s from the first date i ever went on. i tried to take a photo of the girl i was with but she moved out of the way and i didn’t see her again in person for months and so all i had to remember being together by was a photo of some trees and the forest floor. though i’m not on speaking terms with her anymore, i can’t bear to delete the photo because it represents a whole era of my life and as much as i’d love to forget her, i think i’d hate it if i did.

i’ve never told anyone that before, woah.

I LOVE CLEOPATRA SO MUCH. it’s such a nostalgic song.

your lyric… i wish i could hear how it was sung. the best kind of music is when you can tell that it was written by someone who felt the words they spoke and that there’s a story hidden behind every line. i think it’s special that only you will ever truly understand what your songs mean.

i think whenever anyone asks me this question my first thought will always be this stupid innocent fantasy i’ve had since early childhood of time stopping and everyone i love and have ever loved coming together and just getting to be in their presence, peacefully and without expectation. i want to dance and hug and cry and be who i am when i’m alone with them.

but more realistically, i really really want someone to give me an annotated copy of their favourite book. i’d think i’d marry anyone who did that for me.

i like being anonymous because i feel like there’s less pressure and i can ask questions i wouldn’t normally ask. i also enjoy that we both know these tiny things about each other but none of the things you’d normally know about someone you’ve had multiple ‘conversations’ with.

my favourite lyric is, like, the whole of suzanne by leonard cohen but specifically: ‘and you know that she’s half crazy/but that’s why you want to be there/and she feeds you tea and oranges/that come all the way from china’. i think a lot about why i like those lyrics is how he sings it though.

my favourite harry songs are canyon moon, fine line and little freak :)

questions for you:

- what was the moment when you realised you were no longer a child?

- what kind of old person do you think you’ll be?

- what’s your dream house like?

- what do people forget?

- what’s the first thing you think about when you wake up?

hope your week is going well xx

ps. 🌷🌺🌸🌼🌻💐

pps. you wrote a song about me?? i’m SOBBING right now, i love you

ppps. 168 HOURS

help me. i didn’t even notice the grammar mistake (i was tired) but i’m laughing so hard now… lmfao. anyway, no worries on the timing! i hope your day today was better than the one before. (i am assuming it’s mostly over, thought that’s a bold assumption i guess!)

i did write a song about you 😭 i was wondering if you’d end up seeing that post, looks like you did haha. i was thinking about anonymity & what it means to know someone, literally exactly what you said about knowing tiny details but none of the things that you’d usually know about someone.

i’ve been thinking a lot about a question you asked a couple asks ago, which was something along the lines of what’s something that everyone should know about you. i think i said something which, in hindsight, was a longwinded & romanticized way of getting across the fact that i’m an extrovert. but an actual disclaimer is that if i meet you & decide that you’re interesting, you’re gonna get a song written about you & you do NOT wanna hear it lolol

okay, about your answers! i like what you said about sharing a space with people you know. i remember when i was growing up teachers would often ask “organize a dinner party of x amount of people, real or fictional, dead or alive” & i’d always pick friends & family. people i missed, & just people who i like to see.

i’m annotating a copy of one of my favorite books for a friend right now. she’s always said that she thinks it’s be the most phenomenal gift, & incidentally what you said about the flowers inspired me to finally go & do it. i think that’s a sweet idea, & i hope someone does it for you. it says a lot about you that what you want from someone else is just their thoughts on something they care about, plain & simple & honest.

clearly your music taste is phenomenal. suzanne, my beloved… leonard cohen is just AHHHH. ahhhh. good taste in harry songs as well, but it’s hard to have bad taste in harry songs… little freak is my favorite as well!

to answer your questions:

i don’t think i can put the one about childhood on the internet, for whatever that says about my upbringing. i’ll give you an ominous overview. i was in elementary school, & my parents had me sit down in my great grandma’s wicker chair because they needed to talk to me about something. i think the fact i was in elementary school is very sad. it wasn’t the first time i thought “i need to be grown up and mature from now on” but it was the first time i actually did. sounds like the opening to a book!

that’s a bummer. that’s such a bummer. sorry lolol

next question! by G-d, i will answer this in a positive & upbeat way. i don’t know what i’m gonna be like as an old person. i feel like that’s gonna be based on how i live my life? nostalgic, i think. i’m nostalgic as is, so i think that’s gonna get more and more true the older i get. always trying to preserve things, you know? i like nostalgia. my friends say i’m pretty grannycore as is, though.

i want my great granny’s old house in kentucky. it ain’t in the family anymore but that is genuinely the exact place i want to live. i’m a bit insane about it.

uhhhh i’ve been thinking a lot about something someone said about how pain is the one thing your mind will never ever remember right, & that’s why it’s hard to learn from your mistakes. i also think people forget that life comes in cycles, it’s very cyclical in nature, & that the phases you go through are never going to stick around forever. that goes for the good & the bad, you know?

today my first thought was “i wonder if question anon ever sent that ask in,” my second was “i wonder how (best friend) is doing in japan,” & my third was “i wonder if (girl i am Still Not Over) texted me.” i feel like in general, when i wake up, my first thoughts are always about people & what they’re up to. for the record, i did immediately go to check all three of those things, so i still haven’t gotten out of bed haha.

that’s that!

questions for you:

- what’s a silly life goal of yours? (random deja vu moment accompanied this)

- i can tell you appreciate people who are thoughtful & vulnerable, so what’s another quality you’d appreciate in a friend?

- if you could host a dinner party with any guests, living or dead or entirely fictional, who would you pick?

- what the fuck is that countdown for? favorite quote?

wishing you the best!

& for you:

[leewriting]

Things that matter more

Roommate au Mafia au

Roommates to lovers

Jungkook x reader

At first, getting a new roommate after your friend had moved out appalled you. Just thinking about sharing your space with a stranger put you on edge, but as the weeks went by and the rent went up you had no other choice but to post that stupid ad. In many ways living with Jungkook is perfect for an introverted med student like yourself. He pays rent on time and is seldom home leaving the apartment quiet and clean. On the other hand, there is the small problem of him stumbling in at three in the morning, hurt and letting blood stain your new carpet.

Wordcount:32k

Warnings: Mentions of death, abuse and dead bodies, blood and injuries, angst

A/N, okay so I have become so attached to this story. I hope you all love it as much as I do. Please let me know what you think by commenting. I love you all and I hope you enjoy the story. 

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“I hate you.” You glare. You can feel the absolute rage build up inside you until you finally explode and hit the stupid printer.  It still doesn’t want to print your assignment. 

“Okay, I’m sorry I promise I won’t do that again.” you plead, close to tears. “But it is kind of your own fault.” You bite your lip, are you really trying to gaslight your printer? 

“Okay you win, see” you start backing up, hands held in front of you. “I’m going to leave, and we can try and work this out when I get back.” You turn and retreat from your room. 

You sigh. Okay, maybe you’ve finally gone crazy, but you are at your wit's end. You need to have this printed before tomorrow because your professor apparently still lives in the dark ages and wants everything to be submitted in hard copy. 

It’s 3 am and the apartment is dark and silent. You feel a tingle travel down your spine and you race down the hallway for the light switch next to the front door. 

Breathing a sigh of relief with the lights officially on, you turn to the kitchen ready for a cup of coffee. But you freeze when you see the figure standing behind the island. The scream leaves your throat before you have a chance to think. 

The man in your kitchen swirls around and your scream dies down immediately. It’s just Jungkook. 

Jungkook your roommate for the past 6 months is home earlier than you expected. He must have gotten off early from work.  You’re not sure what his job is, hell you’re not even sure what his middle name is or if he even has one for that matter. He showed up at your doorstep after you posted the ad. At first, you were apprehensive of course about him being a man and all, but you didn’t really have another choice unless you wanted to live with Becky a girl you can’t stand, so you agreed. 

Living with him is much better than you expected, he cleans up after himself, and as mentioned he is almost never home meaning you get the rent paid without having to deal with petty roommate drama. It’s a win-win situation. 

“You okay?” Jungkook asks his eyebrow raised and surveying you after your little freak out.

You blush, feeling foolish. “Yes, sorry I didn’t know you were here.” You look away trying to come off nonchalant even though your heart is still racing from the fright you had. 

“Well, I do live here you know.” He smirks, pouring milk into a glass. 

“Yeah, I never see you so I forget.” You blurt out. You didn’t mean to say that. You guess your mouth is just running away on its own now. Maybe there is a medical condition for it. You should look it up, you bet it’s called being stupid and unable to function late at night without coffee. 

He just hums and nods, taking a sip of his milk, not bothered by your statement. 

“Why were you in the dark anyway?” You ask, realising how weird it is that he didn’t turn on a light. 

“Working on my night vision.” He smirks and struts to his door. “Goodnight.” He gives a little wave before closing his room door behind him. 

You stand there confused for a moment but you brush it off. It’s not unusual, this is how most of your conversations with him go. He always dodges questions with strange remarks. However, you still have a good relationship, maybe it’s more like a common understanding that just because you live together means you can be acquaintances without being friends.

Making friends with people isn’t really your strong suit. Mostly you feel too uncomfortable in social situations to really talk to others, and when you do start talking most people tend to stare at you as if you grew a second head. Someone once told you your sense of humour is apparently off-putting, whatever that means. Mostly you say the wrong things at the wrong time when meeting someone so you shy away from situations with strangers. 

That’s why you don’t really try too hard to get to know Jungkook. You feel it’ll only make things more awkward if he knew that his roommate is an awkward human who thinks talking about true crime is the epitome of conversation.

You head to the kitchen still in thought, and magically you’re able to make yourself coffee without burning your hand off with boiling water. It’s a real accomplishment at this time of night.

You sit on the couch for a bit, rejoicing in the silence around you before you hear the printer you were abusing finally coming to its senses and doing its job. With a sigh you place your cup in the sink and head back to your room, only to find your papers scattered across the floor as the printer keeps spitting out more. 

“Fuck” You groan out in irritation and you swear you hear a giggle coming from the room next door. 

.

.

.

“He chopped up his victims and buried them in the woods near his house.” The true-crime podcast is playing in the background while you make notes. You’re up later than usual, much later, but you need to get these notes done before class tomorrow. 

You hear the front door creak open. You immediately stop what you’re doing, pausing the podcast in the process. You sit in silence waiting for the tell-tale sign of Jungkook walking to his room. The shoes he wears always make enough noise to be able to track every step. You once told him he can probably kick someone unconscious with his shoes. He only responded with a smirk. 

You don’t hear him at all and you’re getting paranoid now. Maybe listening to a true crime podcast this time of night isn’t such a good idea as you thought it would be. You take a deep breath in, deciding what to do. You reach for your phone and dial Jungkook’s number. 

He once told you that if there was ever an emergency you should call him. You scoffed at the time but now you hope that he counts a possible murderer as one of those emergencies. You press the phone to your ear but frown when you hear his ringtone blast through the apartment. You swear he is the only person you know who doesn't have his phone on silent all the time.

You get up hesitantly when he doesn't pick up. You follow his ringtone to the living room and freeze. 

There on the floor laying face down on the new rug is your roommate. You frown as the weird red tye-dye on his shirt seems to be spreading onto said rug. Your eyes grow wide as the realisation hits you. It’s not tye-dye it’s fucking blood!

You rush to his side. 

“Jungkook!” He groans, at least he is still awake, “Hey can you hear me?” 

“No.” He groans out and you would have laughed if he wasn’t currently possibly bleeding out. 

“What happened? Is there someone in the apartment?” Your frenzied mind immediately goes back to your suspicions of a murderer.

“No.” He says again and you feel a bit relieved even if he isn’t answering your first question. 

“Okay, I need you to turn around.” You try to roll him over but it’s only with his help that you manage. You never guessed all that muscle would make him this heavy. 

“Uhm okay…” Your hands hover over his torso. His entire shirt in the front is soaked with blood and he is too pale for your liking. “Okay, this is fine.” 

You pull up his shirt and gasp at the cut on his side. “Okay, maybe this is not fine.” Your breath is haggard as panic sets in, but just as it does the med-student in you take over. This is just another emergency patient right? You can treat this, you’ve done it before. Just not alone without a supervisor to step in if you mess up, and not without the proper supplies. Still, you know what to do at least.

You pull your shirt over your head and press it onto the wound, making him wince. You press down hard but realise all your supplies are in your room. 

“Okay Jungkook here.” You try to say it as calmly as possible, while you move his hand over yours. “Press hard okay.” You instruct and hope that he heard you because you’re up and running immediately. 

You fly into your room and snatch up your first aid kit before you sprint back, sliding on your knees to him in your panic. Your skin burns from the friction, but you don’t have time to look. 

You rip open your med kit and replace Jungkook’s hand on the cloth that was once your favourite baggy shirt. You cautiously lift it up and breathe out a sigh of relief when you see the bleeding has stopped. 

“You’re okay, I’m okay we are all going to be okay,” you ramble while you pack out your supplies. 

“That is very reassuring.” Jungkook jokes and you stare. 

“How can you joke right now?” You almost scream out.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “It’s not that bad.” 

“Not that bad…are you looking at it?” Your eyes are wide while you survey his much too calm face. Why does he almost look used to this? “ Nevermind don’t look.” You’re afraid he’ll start panicking if he does.

You wet gauze with disinfectant. “ This is going to sting.” You warn him before pressing the gauze to the cut. He immediately groans and grabs your arm trying to stop you, before he realises what he’s doing and lets it go again. 

Once clean, you can get a good look at the wound. If you had to guess he tried to dodge whatever it was by turning out of the way. Clearly, it didn’t work and now you have no choice.

“It’s going to need stitches.” You bite your lip.

“Great then get on with it please.” 

“Get on with… Jungkook stitches.” You repeat yourself sure he didn’t hear. “ As in threading a needle through your skin and I don’t have any numbing agent.” 

“Is your bedside manner always this calming?” He hisses through his teeth in pain.  Your eyes are wide, and he sighs when he looks at your face. “Just do it okay, I can take it.” 

You nod and bite your lip before threading the needle. 

Throughout the procedure, he lies as still as possible but his constant wincing and the few whimpers that escape his clenched jaw give away that he is in pain. Overall you just try to work as fast as possible. For the first time, you’re glad for all the times your professor made you redo your stitches because now you at least know that you’re doing it right.

“Alright all done, let me just wrap you up.” You state after a few moments, snipping the thread. You place all your now blood soaked tools on the coffee table, you’ll clean it up later,  and come back with gauze and bandages. 

Jungkook is still breathing heavily from the stitches sitting up a bit now. As soon as you start wrapping the bandages you can’t stop your eyes from wandering. Yes, he has a nice body but the thing that makes you almost gasp is all the healed scars. The faint white lines contrast with his skin. Your curiosity about the situation is spiked.

“Ouch.” Jungkook let’s slip when you finish tying the bandage. 

“Sorry.” You apologise. For the first time, you survey him further. His torso is bruised badly, and for a moment you wonder if his ribs are damaged. His cheekbone is blossoming with purple hues and his lip is split, dried with blood. You sigh and pick up a gauze pad wetting it with the disinfectant.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, leaning back until his back meets the wall while you lean forward, the gauze held up in your hand. 

“Will you please just hold still.” He hesitates long enough for you to press the gauze against his lip. 

“Ouch.” 

“Sorry.” You scoot closer to him so that you have more control and he looks at you. 

“Thank you.” He says it softy and you nod, trying not to look at his intense staring eyes, you rather concentrate on his lip, dabbing it lightly with the gauze.

“Y/n” He encases your wrist with his hand making you stop and look at him in surprise. He is frowning slightly.

“Really thank you.” His face softens as he says the words, truly meaning them. Your brain struggles to come up with a reply but your mouth is clearly not affected.

“It’s a pleasure, I’m just really glad you didn’t die. I don't know how I would have gotten rid of your body.”  You immediately mentally cringe. You always make stupid jokes like this in awkward situations. You had to learn to stop yourself for hospital practicals, but clearly, your training isn’t helping now.

Jungkook stares at you in shock and you’re just about to apologise when he starts laughing, wincing a bit but continuing. 

“Yeah, I doubt you would have been able to drag me to the woods to bury me.” His reply surprises you, most people rarely appreciate your sense of humour.

“No, I would have probably had to chop you up.” You wait for his response, you’re sure he will change the topic but he just laughs again.

“O yeah, serial killer style okay.” He nods as if in thought and you frown, laughing at the twist the conversation has taken. “I don’t think that would be the best way though.” 

“O and why not?” You have no idea why you feel defensive about the way you would dispose of a dead body.

“Because the mess would be way too much,” He says it so calmly, “Imagine the cleaning. You would definitely not get your deposit back on this place.” He grimaces at the idea and you laugh.

“You’re probably right,” You cave. “I’ll be sure to ask your advice if I ever need to hide a body.” 

“I am nothing if not helpful.” He jokes. 

You’ve never seen him smile this much, come to think of it you’ve barely seen him smile at all. It suits him, especially when his eyes crinkle up and his front teeth show the way it is doing now. 

“Jungkook?” His name calls his attention to you immediately. You know it’s probably overstepping a boundary but you just feel like you need to know. “What happened?” 

His face goes blank for a moment. He clears his throat. “ I was mugged.” 

You don’t believe him, it sounds almost practised. He also doesn’t meet your eyes completely, but overall you can’t be sure he is lying. You don't know his tells, hell you don’t even really know him. 

“I’m sorry that happened. I’m glad you’re safe.” You don’t push and you can see he appreciates it. If he was really mugged he probably doesn’t want to talk about it.

A lull falls over you two. You play with the gauze stretching it apart. You mentally chastise yourself. You just had to go and ruin the moment with your curiosity. 

“I’m sorry.” He breaks the silence.

“Huh?” You frown at him and you stare even harder when you see his cheeks becoming a pinkish shade. At least you know he has enough blood to blush. 

“I’m sorry about the rug.” He motions with his head to the big red stain on your once pretty rug. You can’t make him feel bad about it though.

“It’s okay, I like modern art anyway.” You awkwardly chuckle trying to reassure him, but when you see he is biting his lip still staring at the stain you sigh. 

“You can make it up to me okay?” You say patting his shoulder. The movement feels very weird, out of place for some reason. 

You watch his face morph into one of exhaustion very quickly. The adrenaline finally wearing off. 

“I think you should go rest.” You say in your best doctor voice. Jungkook shows no resistance and just nods before slowly getting up, wincing with every movement and holding onto his injured side but he refuses your help. 

You follow him to his room door. You worry that he’ll tear the stitches or what if you did it wrong and he bleeds out during the night? He turns around to face your anxious form. 

“I’ll be fine Y/n don’t worry.” He says as if reading your mind. 

“Call me if anything happens okay.” You get a nod in return heading to your own room, hearing his door close behind you. 

Once in the comfort of your room, you take a second to process what happened, leaning against your door and counting the events on your fingers. 

One, you had treated your first patient by yourself.

Two, unfortunately, it happened to be your mysteriously bleeding roommate at 3 in the morning, 

Three, afterwards, you had the longest and weirdest conversation you’ve ever had with him.

And four, apparently, as you move further into your room and catch sight of yourself in the mirror, you did all this in your bra.

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.

The morning light creeps into your room much faster than you feel necessary. Your head feels groggy as if every thought has to trek through mud to make an appearance. You rub your eyes and slowly open them, only to groan at the onslaught of the sunlight on your eyes. 

You sit on the bed for another second, before the desire for coffee drags you out of it. You swing your body to the side standing up only to stumble. Why do your knees hurt so much? 

You rack your brain for the possible reason for the bruises on them. You try to recall what happened last night before you .

You were making your notes when… o shit Jungkook.

You hurriedly walk out of your room, stopping at his door. You listen intently for any sign of him being in there, but you're only met with silence. Maybe you should go in, but you feel like that would be crossing a line, and you’re sure that if something was wrong he would have called for you. Or well you hope he would. So instead you continue to the kitchen.

Your sight is set on the coffee maker, it shines like a glowing beckon for your tired brain. You reach for it turning it on when you suddenly stop and backtrack. There on the black counter is one of your favourite cups filled with now lukewarm coffee. The coffee however isn’t what makes you smile. It’s the sticky note stuck to it. The letters were clearly written carefully, forming two words. Thank you.

You remove the neon pink note and stick it on the wall where it contrasts nicely with the white tile.

You wonder where your roommate is, it feels too quiet in the apartment for him to be home. Usually, there would be noise coming from his room. Games or something, but now there is absolute silence, which means he’s probably not home. You know he didn’t die through the night though because the coffee isn’t cold, so there is that to at least calm your anxious mind. You just hope that wherever he is, he is not tearing his stitches.

You take a sip of the coffee and wrinkle your nose at the bitter liquid. You can’t blame him that he doesn’t know to put sugar in your coffee. You drink it nonetheless, you can’t have the gesture go to waste. 

You smile as you catch sight of the note again, picking up a sticky note, from the pile you usually use for grocery lists you write a quick “my pleasure” on it. Something feels missing though, so without thinking about it twice you add a small “Don’t die” at the bottom, hoping he would appreciate it. You stick it on his bedroom door to make sure he sees it as you head past to get dressed because you just realised that you are late, very late. 

You don’t think you’ve ever gotten ready so fast. Your exciting 3 am seemed to have impacted your sleep a little bit too much and now you’re going to be late for class if you don’t leave. You barely remember to lock the door. Your last thought before you rush to the elevator is that Jungkook better not bleed out through the day.

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.

“No mom I’m fine, I just had a bad day.” You have your phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder as you talk to your mom while walking through the aisles of the convenience store. 

“No, there is nothing you can do mom, I’m just getting chocolate, and then heading home.” You bend down finally finding what you were looking for. 

You had a very bad day, classes have been killing you inside, and today of all days your professor just had to call on you with a question you didn’t know the answer to. The embarrassment and your group’s decision to work on an assignment till late have mixed together to make you feel drained and just completely over today. 

“Yeah, I’ll be safe,” You pack your things on the counter for the cashier to ring up. “Okay love you too.” You finally hang up. You don’t know how your mom just knew to call you but hearing her voice made you feel better. 

“Bad day?” The man asks you while packing everything into a bag for you.

“That obvious huh?” You ask handing over the money. 

“The amount of chocolate might have given it away.” He smiles and you blush and nod taking the bag that he hands over. 

“Hey if you’re not busy later,” He continues before you can leave. “Maybe I can try to make your day better.” 

You stare at him shocked, did he just ask you out on a date? 

“O, uhm…” You’re not sure what to say, obviously you don’t want to go out with him but you don’t know how to turn him down. 

“It’s alright I think the uhm… chocolate will do the job.” You say awkwardly, “Besides I can’t tell if you're an axe murderer.” He stares at you and you cringe inwardly, that might not have been the best way to turn him down. You guess after all the joking with Jungkook you forgot how people react when you say things like that. 

So leaving the situation you turn and walk out the door without waiting to see if he’ll reply. 

Blushing hard you walk down the street. How do some people react so well to your humour and others just don’t? Or well you guess only one person reacts well. But you mean you do have a point, he could be a serial killer or something, maybe it just wasn’t the best thing to say it out loud, to his face.

It’s already dark, but your apartment is only a block away so you decide to just walk instead of waiting for a bus. It’s a nice night out, not too hot or cold and the fresh air isn’t something you get enough of, so you continue down the street. 

There aren’t many people out and soon a strange feeling of being watched takes over you. You turn around to look behind you but there is only a couple following you down the sidewalk. You breathe out, nothing to worry about. That is until they cross the street and the sound of footsteps behind you makes you aware of someone else following you. 

Just relax Y/n it’s probably just another person like you walking home, you’re just being paranoid, that’s all, you try to convince yourself. But the feeling of being watched doesn’t disappear and you start walking faster. Your heart rate speeds up when the footsteps start becoming faster as well. You refuse to look back and let the person know you’re aware of them so you keep your head down and walk even faster. The footsteps are closer now and you can see an alley coming up. You’re just about to make a run for it across the street not caring if you’re jaywalking or looking foolish when a figure comes out of nowhere from the side. 

You freeze in fear but when the light falls over the stranger's face you relax. It’s Jungkook. 

“Hey what are you doing here?” You ask breathing out a sigh of relief and look back over your shoulder only to see the man that was walking behind you cross the street.

“I uh… got off of work early and saw you walking so I thought I’d join you,” Jungkook replies following the man with his eyes before he smiles and takes the bag out of your hand and carries it for you. 

“O, well thank you.” You say falling into step beside him.

“Did you do grocery shopping?” He peeks into the bag and immediately starts laughing. “I guess not.” He chuckles.

“I had a bad day okay,” You go to rip the bag from his hand but he moves it out of your grasp, swatting away your hand. 

“So your reaction is to buy half of the store’s chocolate?” He teases, smiling at you. 

You cross your arms over your chest defensively. “Yes, it is a coping mechanism.”

He just giggles and the sound makes you stare at him, you’ve never heard him giggle before and it almost makes you want to laugh. You survey the way he’s limping a bit to the side of his injury making a mental note to check on it.

“I’m glad to see you’re still alive.” You state without thinking and he frowns for a second before realisation seems to dawn on him and he nods. 

“I was planning on dying but then I saw your note and decided against it.” He smiles referring to the sticky note you left him. “I didn’t want to disobey my doctor’s orders.”

“Good, because that would really have tainted my reputation,” You state straight-faced, “ letting someone die before even graduating imagine.”

“Yeah, that would have been bad for you.” He agrees nodding profusely causing you to chuckle. 

You fall into silence, and you breathe in the fresh air deeply, glad that he showed up so you don’t have to be so paranoid. 

“Y/n.” He breaks the silence with a serious tone of voice. You look at him, his face is just as serious as his voice. “You shouldn’t be walking alone.” 

You sigh. “I know I just really wanted chocolate.” You try to justify your actions even if the excuse sounds lame to your own ears.

“Next time, call me okay,” You frown at him unsure of what he’s saying. “I’ll bring you chocolate.” 

You’re taken aback by his words. He’s offering to bring you chocolate so that you don’t have to walk at night? 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You mumble not knowing what else to say. You didn’t expect him to say something like that, you guess maybe the fact that you two seemed to be able to have a whole conversation made it easier for him to talk to you or maybe it made it easier for you. He does seem much more approachable than he use to. He always came across as cold, but now you guess you’re seeing his true personality coming out to you and you like it, or maybe he hit his head last night as well.

“I’m sorry you had a bad day.” He tries to keep the conversation going and you look at him in surprise. Jip, he definitely hit his head. But you don’t want to be rude so you answer.

“It’s okay.” 

You reach your apartment door without saying another word, but the silence wasn’t awkward like you expected it was more like a comfortable one. 

“Careful,” he muses when walking into the apartment, “The rug is wet.” He says it almost sheepishly but plays it off as nonchalantly as he can.

You look down to find the rug wet and the bloodstain now a mere trace of pink. 

“You cleaned it?” You say in wonder, stepping over it so as not to get your socks wet. 

“Yeah I know you said you like modern art but I assumed you were joking.” He puts the bag down on the counter. “Unless you weren’t in which case I can bleed on it again.” 

You laugh at his serious face and it morphs into a smile. 

“That’s okay.” You giggle, before saying very seriously, “Please don’t do that.” He nods. 

You survey the way he is standing gripping onto his side.

“How are you doing? With the injury and all?” You ask trying to tread lightly in case he becomes defensive like some people do when asked.

To your surprise, he grimaces, “I was hoping you could maybe take a look at it?” 

“Yeah of course.” You nod a bit flattered that he asked. 

You lead him to the bathroom and instruct him to stand by the sink, that way you can easily throw the dirty gauze somewhere other than the coffee table. 

“Uhm you have to take off your shirt.” You say awkwardly, fidgeting in your med kit even though you already have the supplies you need in hand.

You see movement in your peripheral vision and you turn around, blushing a bit at the sight of him without a shirt. Of course, you’ve always known he’s handsome. When you first met him you thought he must be some kind of demigod, with his sharp jawline and pretty eyes, so seeing him now you gulp. You saw him without a shirt last night but that was while you were panicking. Now it takes a moment for your brain to stop going haywire. 

“Right uhm…” You clear your throat and the ghost of a smirk crosses his face. 

“Aren’t you going to take yours off again?” He teases and your blush deepens, burning your cheeks.

“O uhm…” You stammer over your words. 

 “I’m joking, I know it was because you needed to stop the bleeding,” he reassures you, poking you on the nose and bending down a bit to look you in the eye. “Stop blushing.” He adds when he sees how flustered you look.

“It’s not really something I can control.” You mumble and unwrap his bandages. You’re very close to him, you can feel his body heat radiating off of him and you can’t help but wonder if he has a fever.

“You’re really hot.” You say without thinking and he stares at you in surprise lifting an eyebrow at your statement before you realise what you said. “I didn’t mean…uhm you feel warm, I’m scared you may have a fever.” You stammer to try and explain yourself.

“No don’t worry I usually run warm.” He says to calm you down and you just nod, sticking a thermometer in his mouth anyway even if it just to keep him from teasing you any further. 

You can feel his eyes on you as you check his stitches. They are still intact so you can stop worrying about that at least. You disinfect the wound again before putting on the fresh dressing. 

The beeping of the thermometer comes and a moment later he’s handing it to you. 

“See no fever.” He triumphantly states and you look at the normal temperature flashing on the device. 

“Well, then I guess…” You’re cut off by his phone ringing and he immediately picks it up.

“Yeah Hyung.” He answers and you turn away to put everything back into your medkit. 

“I know I’m sorry but it was an emergency.” You frown. You don’t mean to eavesdrop but it’s kind of hard not to when he’s standing right next to you. 

“I’ll be right there,” He nods while the person on the phone continues to speak. He moves to the side to give you access to the sink and you remove the gauze from it, to throw it away. “Yeah okay bye.” He hangs up. 

“I have to go.” He states and you frown. 

“I thought you were off tonight?” You remember he said that when he joined you on the street. 

“Yeah but uhm… something came up, they need my help.” He pulls his shirt over his head again, letting a hiss through his teeth at the movement. 

“O okay.” You don’t know what you were expecting. Him to be home tonight and what? You two sitting on the couch watching a movie or something? That is absurd. Just because you’re talking doesn’t mean you’re suddenly friends. 

“Thank you for this.” He gestures to the medkit and you nod before he hastily leaves the bathroom. A few seconds later you hear the front door close, the “my pleasure” still on your tongue.

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.

The heart is enclosed in the pericardium, which’s main function is to protect it and prevent it from over-expanding. The pericardium is 

“Take that Jungkook!“

The pericardium is attached to the diaphragm and inner surface 

“I will end you Jimin!” 

The inner surface of the 

“Listen you little fuckers I am the king you will tremble before me.” 

Of the 

“Taehyung that’s cheating.” 

The 

“Ha, you losers I win again!” 

“The sternum!” You finally snap. You’re trying to study but you’ve been on the same paragraph for the last 20 minutes. You push your chair back from the desk, the wheels scrapping on the floor due to the speed. 

You can still hear them shouting at each other as you stomp down the hallway. 

You know they’re playing a video game. Jungkook moved his gaming system out of his room a few weeks ago because according to him the wifi is better in the living room. 

You round the corner only to find the three on the carpet. On the screen Taehyung’s name is on top of the board, the other two’s names following. Jimin is on Jungkook’s back, who is trying to strangle Taehyung. The scene may look scary but you roll your eyes. They do this all the time. 

The first time you walked out of your room to find two strangers on your couch you almost had a heart attack, but Jimin and Taehyung made a big fuss about how they finally get to meet Jungkook’s roommate. Apparently according to them Jungkook has been talking about you a lot. Jungkook obviously denied it, to his hyungs amusement.

Since then Jungkook’s friends seem to be here every day. Jimin and Taehyung could basically be living here but Hoseok sometimes drops by too. You know there are others you haven’t met yet because you picked up on the same names mentioned often. You would ask why you haven’t met them if you didn’t already have your hands full with the two currently trying to beat up your roommate. 

“Hey, guys?” Your voice makes them freeze, all three heads snapping to you. With their eyes on you now, you lose a bit of your fire. Surprisingly you’re more comfortable with them than most people, probably due to the close proximity, but sometimes when all three very handsome men look at you, you end up flustered. Unfortunately for you that seems to happen quite often seeing as you have been spending more time with Jungkook, which also means spending time with his friends.

“If you want to kill each other, do it somewhere else, please.” You roll your eyes, playing off your shyness by walking past them, feigning disinterest. 

“Sorry Y/n” Jimin laughs, getting up from the carpet, and joining you in the kitchen before Taehyung or Jungkook can even move. 

“Were you studying?” He asks, sitting on the counter and watching you make coffee for yourself. 

“Yeah, I was.” You rub your eyes until you see stars, your eyes burning from looking at your laptop for so long.

“What were you studying?” Taehyung leans next to Jimin making sure you pay attention to both of them. 

“The heart.” You don’t know why they both look at Jungkook who is leaning on the back of the couch watching you three before answering. 

“O well I can’t help you with matters of the heart.” Jimin states and you frown, you didn’t think he would be able to help you. 

“I can however help you with something else that doesn’t require the heart.” He smirks at you and your eyes widen at his suggestive sentence, you still can’t get used to Jimin’s casual flirty personality. 

“Hyung.” Jungkook’s voice is deep and the way he says it sounds like a warning. 

“I’m only joking Kookie,” Jimin and Taehyung smirk at the younger boy and Jungkook glares at them before rolling his eyes.

You look away from whatever is happening there and instead look at the now dubbed sticky note wall. 

It started with Jungkook’s thank you note and evolved from there. Now, whenever you leave, you leave the other a note, usually including a ridiculous reminder like don’t die, watch out for cannibals, don’t step into fairy rings. Stupid stuff like that. You both get teased by Jimin and Taehyung about it, but neither of you have stopped. Maybe the smile that adorns your lips every time you find a note stuck to the door or a coffee cup, if it’s in the morning, makes you ignore the teasing. In your defence, Jungkook doesn’t seem deterred by it either.

“Well, I’m going back to studying, try and keep it down okay.” You declare to the three, who were unbeknownst to you having a whole non-verbal conversation. You take your coffee cup and walk back down the hallway. 

“Y/n” You backtrack at your name being called. 

“Yes, Jungkook.” You wait for him to say something, staring at him, and he just stares back at you for a moment before looking away and clearing his throat.

“Uhm…” He looks to his hyungs standing in the kitchen observing him. “Enjoy your studying.” He looks like he wants to kick himself, but you do not have time to dwell on it now. 

“Thanks?” You tilt your head in confusion, getting a nod in return and walking to your room to finally finish the stupid heart, having to ignore the way yours is pounding from Jungkook’s eyes on you. 

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.

.

“That test was so easy. If anyone does badly they really shouldn’t be studying medicine.” Becky boasts walking next to you. 

You wish she would disappear and go bother someone else but she clearly can’t take a hint. The test she is referring to was actually hard for you and now her words are starting to make you feel worse than you did when you were struggling through it. You shrink into yourself chewing on your lip. 

She’s the type of person who does well in everything and likes gloating about it. She somehow decided that you were her friend and now you have to suffer through her long rants about how perfect she is and how everyone else isn’t, including you. 

“O my god.” She suddenly interrupts herself and you look up wanting to see what caused it. “Who is he?” she asks and you frown in confusion following her gaze only to land on Jungkook. 

He’s leaning on the wall next to the gate of the university talking on his phone. He’s dressed in all black as usual and his hair is falling into his face a bit. You understand why she reacted the way she did because he looks extremely hot, and not in the having-a-fever kind of way. 

“He looks like he was sculpted by the gods wow.” Becky continues gushing. “Do you think I should ask for his number?” 

“No.” The word escapes your mouth before you can stop it. For some reason, the thought of her asking out your roommate and him agreeing irks you a lot more than you thought it would. You’re sure it’s just because it’s Becky but the more you think about it the more it bothers you. 

Becky however didn’t seem to hear you or maybe she is just ignoring you. 

“I think I should.” She continues and you can feel yourself getting angry. “See he’s walking this way.” She sounds giddy about it, sure that he must have noticed her.

Jungkook, who hung up his call when he noticed you, is walking towards you two his smile fading when he sees the look on your face.

“Hi?” He phrases it like a question not sure why you’re looking like you want to murder someone. 

“H…” You respond before getting cut off.

“Hey, my name is Becky.” She flips her hair over her shoulder and smiles at him.

“Yeah, uhm… hi.” He frowns and her smile falters.  “I came to walk you home since it’s almost dark.” He explains himself to you turning away from the now seething girl. 

“O, thank you.” You smile, feeling a little smug when you see the shocked expression on Becky’s face. He’s just about to reply when Becky worms her way in between you two again.

“O do you know her?” Her voice is high and she giggles, you roll your eyes. “We’re like best friends, I’m sure she must have mentioned me.” 

“Not really.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at her and for the first time, you see him getting irritated. His eyes go narrow and he sucks in his cheeks a bit staring at her. She shrinks under the stare. 

You’ve never understood why Jimin and Tae said that people are intimidated by Jungkook but now you do. You feel bad for Becky because you know under that stare you would be running for the hills. So you step in.

“Becky I’ll see you on Monday okay.” You step around her and take Jungkook by the arm pulling him away, leaving Becky speechless probably for the first time in her life. 

You walk fast to get away from the awkward situation. 

“Sorry about her, she’s just uhm…” You try to make an excuse for her, not really sure why you are trying to do so. 

“Spoilt?” Jungkook offers and you laugh and nod.

“Basically yeah.” That’s definitely one way to describe her.

 “Thank you for coming to pick me up.” You steer the conversation away from talking about her. 

“No problem, I didn’t want you walking in the dark.” His calm and smiley demeanor is back and you breath a sigh of relief.

You walk beside him in silence for a moment. You just can’t seem to shake Becky’s words, she makes you feel so inadequate most of the time. 

“So how was the test?” He asks pushing you to the side so that he can walk closest to the road. 

You groan and he looks at you, worried. 

“It was awful and she said it was so easy, you know which just makes me think well, that I’m not good enough.” You don’t know why you’re pouring your heart out but right now you just need someone to listen and recently that someone has become Jungkook.

“Wow wait.” Jungkook stops walking causing you to do the same. He places his hands on your shoulders forcing you to face him. “Y/n, you saved my life, stayed calm and stitched me up, not to mention all the times you’ve had to treat me since.” He’s right, he’s probably the clumsiest person you’ve ever met. Always coming home with bruises or cuts. 

“I’m sure she’s never done that.” He continues, pushing your head up to look at him with a finger underneath your chin. “You are going to be a great doctor.” His face is serious but he gives you a light smile when you nod.

“Thank you Jungkook.” You smile at him, feeling better after the pep talk. 

“What are friends for right.” He smiles again, using his one hand still on your shoulder to take your bag off of it. He flings it over his shoulder instead and starts walking again, and you follow. 

It’s the first time you’ve heard him actually say that you two are friends, it makes you glad to know he feels as close to you as you do to him. The space that was there for the first six months of him living with you is now completely gone, erased by the weeks you’ve been spending time together. 

“Does she do that often?” He wonders out loud and you know what he’s referring to.

“Yeah sometimes.” You admit looking to the side ashamed to admit how you let her get to you. 

“Do you want me to kill her?” He says it with such a serious tone that you laugh at him. 

“No, I think I’ll do it if it gets too much.” You joke and after a moment he laughs. 

“And how would you dispose of her body hm?” He keeps the joke going and you pretend to think, placing your finger to your chin and tilting your head up. 

“I’ll get you to do it for me.” You declare pointing to him. He laughs shaking his head. 

“No, your kill, your responsibility.” He says and you pout. 

“That’s not fair.” The running joke of you finding a way to hide a body has been going on since the night of him almost bleeding out. You’ve been bringing up ways randomly but he shoots them down every time. 

“How about a woodchipper?” You ask, already expecting his head to shake. 

“Wouldn’t work, you know how strong a human body is, it’ll only cause a mess, and leave too much evidence.” He explains and you groan. 

“How do you know all this?” You ask, glaring at him in feigned suspicion. 

“Call it an educated guess.” He smiles and nudges you only to pull you out of the way of a pole a second later because you were still staring at him. 

“I think you spend too much time thinking about this.” You huff, crossing your arms across your chest. 

“Like you don’t.” He retorts and you gasp.

“Only because of you.” You exclaim, throwing your hands up.

“Besides,” he continues, “It’s fun to see your reaction when you're wrong, you don’t like being wrong.” he elaborates.

You pout again. “Does anyone?” You glare at him but he laughs at you. 

“I guess not no.” He relents and you smile. 

You look at him waiting for him to say something. You marvel in the way the last rays of sunshine bounces off his dark hair, painting his facial features in a soft glow.

He looks at you suddenly, you gasp and look away embarrassed at being caught staring at him. He chuckles and you cringe, looking down as you walk.

“Y/n?” He asks and you look at him only to find him not next to you but behind you standing still. “Where are you going?” he chuckles and you blush when you realise you just walked past your apartment building too busy chastising yourself for staring at him.

“O right.” you chuckle, trying to hide your blush from him. 

He opens the building door for you and you enter. 

“I was thinking we could watch…” You trail off when you realise he isn’t following you in.

“You’re not coming up?” You guess and he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I have to go, sorry.” He apologises but you nod taking your bag from him. 

He always has to leave, you’d think you’d be used to it by now but you always find yourself feeling disappointed because you can’t spend more time together. It’s a new feeling for you, being upset because you can’t spend time with someone. Usually, you’re upset when you have to. 

“Okay, be safe.” You say sheepishly. 

“Thanks, we can watch whatever you were going to say next time okay?” You nod and he walks off.

You stand there a minute looking at his retreating back before you turn to the elevator. 

The elevator takes forever and when it finally does arrive you are horrified at what you find inside. 

A stranger. 

Shyly you walk in. 

“What floor?” The man asks and you press your floor button instead of answering. 

“Hi, I’m Damion.” You sigh, he’s the type to talk in elevators then. 

“I’m Y/n.” You mumble, but he caught it. 

“Hello Y/n, I’m new to the building, maybe you can show me around some time?” He says and his straightforwardness catches you off guard. 

“O uhm…” You rack your brain for an excuse, wishing for the elevator to speed up. “I would but I’m very busy maybe you should ask someone else.” 

“It’s alright I’ll wait for when you have time, Y/n.” He says confidently. You know he is just being persistent but for some reason the way he says your name gives you a bad feeling. 

You’re saved from answering by the doors opening on your floor. 

“Goodnight.” You say and try to rush out of the elevator away from him, but he grabs your arm stopping you. Your eyes grow wide and you look down at the hand encasing your wrist.

“See you around.” He says and lets you go, with a smile. 

You immediately run out and only let out a sigh of relief when you lock your apartment door behind you. You shudder when you remember his gaze on you but it’s quickly pushed from your mind when your eyes land on the sticky note stuck to the door. 

“Enjoy your evening, try not to get kidnapped by elves.” You laugh and stick it to the sticky note wall. 

By the time you get into bed, the only memories playing in your head are of Jungkook’s face as he laughs. Your creepy neighbour is pushed from your mind. 

.

.

.

Your back is killing you. You woke up seconds ago and found yourself not on your comfy bed but rather on your desk chair. You feel something sticking to your face and you wipe at it lazy. One of your pages of notes floats down onto the desk and you sigh. You haven’t slept more than five hours in the past three days and you can feel your head pounding from the lack of sleep. The past few weeks have been a blur of tests and classes so you haven’t had a day off. You look at your phone to find a few missed calls from your mom. You’ll have to call her back later after you’ve had coffee.

You slowly get up, stumbling a bit and having to support yourself on the wall. That’s how you walk to the kitchen leaning on the wall the entire time. You miss the three heads that turn to you, too focused on trying to keep yourself upright. 

“Morning.” Jungkook’s voice breaks through the muddled thoughts in your brain. You groan in response, leaning against the counter to try and catch your breath. Was the walk to the kitchen always this tiring?

“Are you making coffee? ” Taehyung asks getting up from his spot on the couch, eager for a cup of his own. 

“Yeah just give me a second.” You reply working up the courage to walk to the coffee maker a few steps away. You feel very dizzy. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Taehyung asks, stepping closer to get a look at your very pale face. 

“I’m fine.” No, you’re not but non the less you still have some studying to do and you have class in an hour. So you push away from the counter but as soon as you do you stumble and everything goes a bit hazy for a second. 

“Wow okay.” Taehyung rights you with a very worried look on his face, the other two have stopped their game and are now staring at you in worry. 

Jungkook jumps over the back of the couch and makes his way to you, replacing Tae’s arm around you. He is frowning at you and places his hand on your forehead. 

“Holly shit Y/n you have a fever.” He exclaims, but you groan at the information. 

“No I can’t have a fever,” You push away from him but immediately almost fall over, being caught again by Jungkook. 

“Y/n I think you’re sick,” Jungkook says softly and you shake your head.

“I can’t be sick,” You feel like crying, “I have a class to get to.” You’re in denial, you know you’re sick but being sick right now is a big inconvenience. Becky has been boasting about how much she is studying and how prepared she is for the tests, you’ve been trying to keep up.

“Hey come on,” Taehyung says. “ Jungkook why don’t you help her sit down and I’ll make her some tea.” You still shake your head but gasp in surprise when you’re lifted off the floor by Jungkook. He carries you bridal style to the couch and gently puts you down where Jimin has made room for you. 

“I can’t guys I have to go to class.” You protest making to get up again but you’re held down by Jungkook’s hands. 

“Y/n your sick, you’re not going to class.” Jungkook orders. Why is his doctor’s voice better than yours? 

“I’m fine okay, let me go.” You remove his hands from your shoulder. 

“Clearly.” Jimin pipes up and you glare at him. “All I’m saying is, that if you go to class you’ll probably pass out along the way, and what then?” 

“Then Jungkook will have to put his body hiding skills to work.” You state. The other two frown in confusion at Jungkook but he just shakes his head. 

“I can’t do that, it’ll be too noticeable if I’m seen carrying you off of the street,” He smiles at you, leans in and tilts his head to the side a bit, “Too risky you know?” He whispers, and you look up at him, he’s frowning slightly at you in worry. You’ve gotten closer to Jungkook than you would have ever thought possible. He’s become a constant in your life like you never thought you’d experience and definitely not with your once elusive roommate. He’s the one you run to after a bad day and he always listens intently to your rants 

“Besides what is going to happen if you miss one class?” Taehyung asks, making you tear your gaze away from Jungkook as Tae hands you a cup of tea that you wrinkle your nose at.

“I don’t know I’ve never missed a class.” You say frowning at the shocked expression on their faces. 

“You’ve never missed a class?” Jimin asks in disbelief and you nod. 

“Wow, just wow.” Taehyung shakes his head. 

“Then I feel like this is a good excuse to miss one,” Jungkook states and pushes the cup of tea closer to your face, prompting you to drink but you grimace and shake your head. 

“I have to go Jungkook.” You fight back. “I won’t be able to stand her if I miss a class and get a bad mark.”

“Who?” Taehyung frowns but Jungkook nods already knowing who you’re talking about.

“Is that why you’ve been overworking yourself?” He asks in concern and you nod your head slowly, looking away from him. 

“Y/n,” Jungkook kneels in front of you so you're at eye level. “ You can’t let her get to you, you know she’s just trying to tear you down.” 

“I know but still…” You trail off unsure how to voice your thoughts. 

“Tell you what if you promise to stay home and rest,” Jungkook empathizes the last word, “ Then I’ll help you study okay?” 

“We’ll help you study.” Jimin corrects him, already disliking whoever it is that is making you feel inferior.

“Sounds like a bad bargain.” You reply and cross your arms, but you know there is no getting out of it. 

You know Jungkook well enough by now to know that when he puts his mind to something there is no turning back. You once saw him try to fit a whole orange in his mouth because Hobi dared him to. And if you’re honest with yourself even though you know that they won’t be able to help you study the fact that they offered to makes you feel all warm inside.

They all hold their breath ready to fight more but you sigh, leaning back onto the couch. 

“Fine.” Is all you say and they relax. 

“Keep an eye on her in case she makes a run for it.” Jungkook jokes poking your nose, before getting up. 

“Yeah like she’ll be able to run in her condition,” Taehyung replies sitting down on the couch next to you.

You look around the room. Your apartment has become if you had to describe it, lively. Before the “shared” space in the apartment was clean and cold but since you and Jungkook have become closer the space shows that two people live here. Your textbooks and cups are on the coffee table where you were making notes while he played games, and two of his hoodies are thrown into the blanket basket because he was too lazy to put them away. The blanket that Jimin throws over your shoulders also belongs to Jungkook. It’s a thick fluffy blanket that you’ve been stealing from his room to lay on the couch with since you found out it existed. After a while, he just stopped taking it back to his room. 

“Here you go.” Jungkook kneels in front of you with freshly made coffee, that you eagerly exchange the cup of tea for. He chuckles and place the cup of tea on the coffee table. You wonder how he knew to make you coffee. 

“Thank you.” You clutch onto the warm cup and sink further into the couch. Jungkook sits down beside you and Taehyung takes a spot on the floor picking up the controllers they abandoned, and handing it back to them.  

They continue playing their game, on a much lower volume, while you slowly drink your coffee. It’s black coffee. You used to drink it with milk and sugar but every time Jungkook made you coffee he made it black. At first, you didn’t want to say anything feeling too awkward but now you actually prefer it the way he makes it.

You never thought you would be this comfortable with people around in your apartment but their presence is soothing. You guess you’ve never realised how lonely you were before, now you recognise when they’re not here and especially at night when Jungkook is gone you can feel his absence. You still don’t like being around people but maybe the man sitting next to you checking every few minutes if you’re okay, putting his hand on your forehead to check your fever, is the exception. 

The warm drink and background noise of the game and their voices are lulling you to sleep. You feel one of them remove the coffee cup from your hand as you fall to the side, onto Jungkook, your tired body finally finding the time to rest, and recover.

You wake up a few hours later. Your head feels foggy, your entire body hurts and you feel all hot and cold at the same time. You hear a voice coming from somewhere but they’re not talking to you so you keep your eyes closed and try to make out what is being said. 

Jungkook is speaking in a hushed voice probably to try and not wake you. “I know hyung but I can’t just leave her.” You frown, is he talking about you? 

“Jimin and Tae said they’ll take over for me today.” You can hear him pacing while he hums in acknowledgement at whatever the other person is saying.  “Thank you hyung, will you ask Jin-hyung about the food?” You are getting very hot now, it’s like a hot tingle traveling through your body and you kick the blanket off you, sighing at the rush op cold air that envelops you. 

“Hey,” Jungkook’s voice is right beside you, “you awake?” You must have not heard him hang up the call.  

You slowly open your eyes, and you're met with his worried face. His hair is disheveled as if he has been tugging at it and in your fever hazed mind you reach out a hand to flatten it. He doesn’t acknowledge it and instead puts his hand on your forehead. 

“You’re still very hot.” He frowns and bites his lip in worry but you laugh. 

“Good to know I still got it.” You joke, but the words hurt your dry throat. 

He picks up a glass of water on the coffee table that he must have put there earlier and hands it to you. “You have to drink all of this okay?” He gives you a stern look. 

“Okay doctor.” You sass but take the glass anyway and start sipping. As soon as the water touches your lips however you can’t stop drinking, realising how thirsty you actually are, you gulp down the whole glass. 

Jungkook stares at you in surprise. “Wow do you want some more?” 

“No thank you, I think I’ll be okay.” You smile and readjust yourself to sit up. 

Jungkook sticks his hand out stopping you. “Wait I don’t think you should get up just yet.” 

You shake his hand off. “I’m fine Jungkook.” You roll your eyes at him and sit up. “see I’m completely fine I can even,” You stand up, but as soon as you’re up you see stars, your vision goes black and you fall into Jungkook’s arms. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t do that yeah?” He laughs and you hit him playfully in the chest. “Don’t laugh.” 

“How can I not when you’re being so stubborn.” He puts you back onto the couch and you pout.

“Don’t pout.” He smiles but you only pout more causing him to laugh. “You’re cute when you’re  sick,” he teases and you look away from him crossing your arms. 

“I’m not that sick.” You retort but you know you’re lying. Your head is pounding and everything hurts. 

“Well in that case I’ll just return all this medicine that I got,” you nod and he gets up walking away but then he turns back, “ and I guess all the chocolates too.” 

You swing around to look at him. He’s already smirking at you, getting the reaction he clearly wanted from you. 

“You got chocolate?” You glare at him in suspicion. 

“Yes and you can have some,” You smile wide but he holds up a finger, “after you eat some food.” 

“Chocolate is food.” You retrot. Even though the thought of chocolate is alluring, the thought of food makes you feel nauseous. 

Jungkook shakes his head crossing his arms over his chest, but just as he wants to reply there is a knock at the door. 

You frown in confusion but Jungkook opens it with a smile. 

“Hyung you're here faster than I expected.” Jungkook says to whoever is at the door and you lean over to see, expecting Jimin or Taehyung but the man that is standing in the doorway makes you gasp. He is so handsome it almost hurts.  “I was already on the way when Namjoon called you.”

“This must be Y/n?” The stranger says noticing you before smiling. You openly stare at him and Jungkook clears his throat raising his eyebrows at you. You start at being caught and a blush rises in your face. 

“Yes this is Y/n.” Jungkook says amused at your reaction. “Y/n this is Jin, he’s my oldest Hyung.” 

You nod, “hi,” you cringe. You sound so stupid. 

“Well here is the food Kookie.” Jin hands Jungkook a bag, “I need to get going, but it was nice meeting you Y/n.” He waves and you wave back awkwardly. He laughs and ruffles Jungkook’s hair before walking away.  

“So that was Jin.” Jungkook smiles taking the food to the counter. 

“He’s uhm very…”

“Handsome?” Jungkook offers and you groan. 

“I didn’t mean to stare I promise.” You bite your lip but Jungkook laughs.

“It’s okay everyone has the same reaction, I promise he’s more flattered than anything else.” He chuckles and you cringe. 

You really need to get a grip on yourself but you just don’t understand why all these handsome men are suddenly popping up in your life. It’s like someone is playing a stupid joke on you. 

“Here you go.” Jungkook hands you a bowl of food that you wrinkle your nose at. “You have to eat.” Jungkook press but you shake your head. 

“I really don’t want to.” You pout and he sighs. 

He bites his lip. “Just a few bites.” You don’t budge. 

“Please?” He pouts and holds up a spoon full of rice. You frown before rolling your eyes and taking a deliberate bite. 

He smiles in victory. You have no idea why you gave in to him. You would blame it on your fever but you’re pretty sure you would have given in even if you weren’t as sick as you are. You take another bite that he holds for you.

“I can eat by myself you know.” You say after you swallow.

He chuckles. “I’m not taking a chance.” He lifts up another spoon full and you look him in the eye as you let him feed you. 

He gets happier after every bite until finally you hold up your hand. 

“I can’t eat anymore,” and he nods understanding, putting the bowl down on the table. You pull your knees closer to you and wrap the blanket around yourself getting cold again. 

“How do you feel?” Jungkook asks putting his hand on your forehead. “You’re still very warm, if your fever hasn’t broke in a few hours I’m gonna take you to the hospital okay?” 

You nod, feeling yourself falling asleep again. “Okay.” You lay down on your side. “Will you stay?” 

Jungkook smiles softly and nods, “Yeah of course.” He strokes some hair form your face. “I’ll stay.” 

You hum contently and fall into unconsciousness. 

.

.

.

A ruckus in the kitchen wakes you up. You immediately shoot upright in bed, your body on high alert. You listen again but it’s quiet now. You pick up your phone looking at the time. It’s just past three in the morning, you should still be alone.

You debate calling Jungkook for a second but push the thought aside, you’d only feel stupid doing it,  besides you don’t want to disturb him. He went out with his friends for the night, it’s the weekend after all so he is off work but he told you he’d be crashing at Jimin’s place. So instead you get out of bed and tiptoe to your door. You press your ear to it trying to listen for any movement but there is nothing. 

You chew on your lip and decide to investigate. If this was a horror movie the whole audience would be yelling at you now. 

You creep down the hallway and peek around the corner to look at the kitchen. The lights are on and you see Jungkook digging around in the fridge. You laugh at yourself for being paranoid. 

The sound startles Jungkook and he spins around to face you. His face relaxes when he sees you and it morphs into a lopsided grin. 

“Hey, did I wake you? Sorry.” He pouts and your eyes widen in surprise at him but you just shake your head walking to the kitchen island.

“What are you doing back?” You ask leaning over the counter to see what he was doing. “I thought you were sleeping at Jimin’s?” 

“No, I wanted to come home because…” He is cut off by a hiccup. You look at him, he is leaning a bit to one side as if he is off balance and his eyes look glassy. 

“Jungkook are you drunk?” You giggle when he shakes his head profusely, the movement causing him to grimace and fall a bit to one side, only to catch himself in time. 

“No, I am not.” His words are a bit slurred and you laugh again. 

“Then why are you rummaging through our fridge at three in the morning?” You ask lifting an eyebrow. 

He opens his mouth as if to say something but he closes it again with a frown, unable to come up with an excuse.

“I wanted ramyun.” He says after an embarrassingly long time, through which you were giggling.

“Well, you’re not going to find it in the fridge.” You state and watch in amusement when he frowns and points to the cupboard, looking at you for approval. 

“Sit down I’ll make you some.” You chuckle and move to the cupboard getting out the packet.

“Thank you.” He drawls out and sits down on the bar stool.

“I just don’t want to have to treat burn wounds tonight.” You explain and smile at him, which he returns with a grin. 

You boil the water and look behind you to find him spinning on the stool. He stops when he feels you looking at him and he grins lopsidedly.

“I missed you.” He says and you frown. “I didn’t see you at all this week.” He pouts and you giggle at the expression. He looks so cute. 

He’s right this week you’ve been missing each other the entire time. You had another group assignment and had to work in the library with them the entire day. When you finally got home he was already gone. His words do surprise you but you brush it off as nothing more than drunk rambling. 

“I missed you too.” You say and he gasps in surprise. 

“You did?” He sounds like a child that was just told something unbelievable, and it makes you laugh.

“Yeah, we’re friends right?” That word has been starting to leave a bitter taste in your mouth recently, and you have an idea why, but you keep pushing it down. There is no reason to be thinking like that part of you wants to think. “Friends miss friends.” You finish, turning back to the food you’re making. 

“You’re right, I miss my hyungs when I don’t see them for a long time.” He rambles on behind you. “I think it’s because we all used to live together, but now I live here of course with you, right?” He sounds unsure and you chuckle. 

“Yes, you do.” You confirm it for him.

“Okay great.” He sounds pleased about it. 

He babbles on about stupid things while you cook, telling you about his night. He mentions a few girls that came up to him and you prickle a bit every time but he always rambles on not mentioning them again. 

Finally, you turn around and hand him the bowl of food that he takes with a smile. You lean on the other side of the counter watching him eat. 

“This is amazing,” he exclaims in between bites. “If this doctor thing doesn’t work out, you should become a chef.”

“You only say that because you’re drunk.” You explain with a laugh but he shakes his head, cheeks full of food. 

The conversation dies down while he eats. You move around cleaning up and filling up a bottle with water for him to drink. You place it down beside his now-empty bowl.

“You have to drink all of this now okay?” You say in your doctor's voice and he groans.

“All of it?” He says in disbelief and you smile.

“Yes or else you’ll have a nasty hangover tomorrow.” He nods and picks up the bottle, you laugh at his dramatic show of drinking the whole thing.

“I like it when I make you laugh,” he says when he’s finished and you blush. He stares at you.

“I like it when you blush too.” He adds and you blush even more. 

“I blush too easily when I’m with you.” You admit and he gets up to put the water bottle in the sink. He comes back without a word and stands next to you. 

“Here.” He places his cold hands on your cheeks. “To cool them down.” He smiles and you gasp at the contact. 

Another thing you’ve come to notice since becoming friends with him, other than that you felt lonely before is just how  incredibly touch-starved you are. He is so casual with his touches, always hugging you or sitting close to you and you realised how much you’ve been missing human contact. You can admit to yourself the fact that it is coming from him does also impact the effect it has. 

“There see all better.” He removes his hands and you cringe at how quickly you miss the contact. 

He is standing very close to you, your chests almost touching and the realisation makes you blush again. 

“O no, Y/n.” He moans and places his hands back onto your cheeks, stepping even closer. “You’re ruining my handy work.” He whispers. 

You stare at him. He is so beautiful and you’ve never been so close to him before. His eyes are shining and his lips are pink and look so soft. You pull your eyes away from his lips only to find him staring at yours. 

You bite your lip at the attention and he frowns moving his finger down to pull your bottom lip out from under your teeth. 

“You shouldn’t do that.” His voice sounds huskier now and it makes your heart race. 

“Why not?” You ask him softly.

“Because it makes me want to do this.” He says before leaning in slowly. 

You stop breathing, your heart racing and you close your eyes in anticipation of his lips falling onto yours. 

Just when you can feel his breath breezing over your lips, a door slams shut somewhere, breaking you out of the trance you were in. 

You back away from Jungkook. You were just about to kiss him! You were about to kiss him and he is drunk! You chastise yourself, missing the hurt that crosses his face. 

“I uhm… I think I should go back to bed.” You stammer out and rush out of the kitchen to your room. 

You close the door behind you and sink to the floor with your back to it. You can’t believe you were about to take advantage of his drunkenness and why? Because you have a bit of a crush on him? It’s disgusting. You rake your fingers through your hair and focus on calming your racing heart. The blush is burning through your cheeks and you place your own hands-on them to cool it down. 

You can only hope he won’t remember tonight.

.

.

.

“And that is the last time I’m asking your dad to make Lasagna.” You laugh and take a sip of your coffee. The café is buzzing with activity and your mom just finished filling you in on the antics your family have been up to since you last saw them. 

Your mom came to the city for work but her last meeting was canceled so you had time to get coffee with her. You watch her add more sugar to her coffee and laugh. She’s always had a sweet tooth. You got yours from her. 

“Do you want some?” She holds out the sugar pot to you after seeing you eye her coffee, but you shake your head. 

“No thanks, I drink my coffee black now.” You watch her surprised face and giggle. 

“Who are you and what have you done to my daughter?” She clutches her hand to her chest and you shake your head at her dramatics, smiling widely. 

You’ve really missed her. You’ve always been close to your family, even if they drive you crazy. Even your little sister, who couldn’t be more different from you, always on the sports field, but despite your differences you’ve always loved her terribly. 

“I just like it like this now.” You explain and she narrows her eyes at you in suspicion but eventually shrugs.

“How have you been honey?” she asks leaning forward with a caring look on her face. 

“I’m doing good,” you smile and when your mom doesn’t seem convinced you place your hand on hers. “I really am mom.”

“Are you sure? You look like there is something bothering you, not to mention you look like you haven’t slept in a month.” Her voice becomes stern at the last part and you roll your eyes.

“You sound like Jungkook.” The words just slip out and her eyes widen in surprise.

“Your roommate?” She asks and you nod your head.

“He’s always telling me I should sleep more.” Your mom nods.

“Well maybe you should listen to him he sounds like an intelligent young man.” She muses and you smile but at the thought of your roommate, your mood drops slightly.

After you almost kissed him a week ago there has been a small shift. Mostly things are the same but it’s like something is off. When you’re with his friends he’s his normal self but as soon as you are alone it’s like he becomes tense and soon finds an excuse to leave the room. He doesn’t seem to remember that night but you’re not so sure, why else would he behave like he is? Maybe he regrets almost kissing you and he is just pretending to not remember anything. You guess you should be glad he hasn’t brought up that night, it is what you hoped for after all. But it has left you more confused than anything else, why would he try to kiss you and then just not say anything after that?

“Earth to Y/n.” Your mom waves her hand in front of your face to get your attention. 

“Sorry, mom, what were you saying?” You apologise. Pushing the thoughts bothering you away. You should be enjoying your time with your mom, not worrying about your relationship with Jungkook, whatever that may be.

“I was asking if Lilly told you she got first line for field hockey?” She surveys you worried while she repeats herself. 

“O no she didn’t,” You smile trying to show your mom you’re okay. “You have to tell her I said I’m very proud of her.” 

“I’ll tell her.” Your mom smiles. “She is very excited, she said she’s going to ask you to come to some of her games, you should try to come.” 

“I will I promise.” You know it will be hard but for her, you will make a plan, maybe you can even invite Jungkook and his friends, she would love that. But as soon as the thought crosses your mind you dismiss it, you doubt Jungkook would want to come to anything with you right now. 

The rest of the time you and your mom just talk about your studies and plans for after next year when you graduate and have to start your internship. You bask in the conversation until your mom’s phone rings, signally she has to head out. 

“I love you, honey.” She hugs you tightly, “Make sure you eat well and try to get more sleep okay?” 

“I promise mom.” You giggle in your mom’s embrace. She pulls away holding you at arm's length.

“We are so very proud of you, your dad loves boasting about you on a daily basis.” You both laugh. Your dad has always been the type to tell everyone about every small accomplishment that his daughters achieve. 

“Thank you mom.” she pulls you into another hug just as her taxi stops outside. “Mom you have to go.” You giggle her hold not lessening on you. 

“Just another second, I miss you.” She says and you hug her tighter.

“I miss you too mom.” She finally pulls away and with one last kiss on your cheek she gets into her taxi, waving at you as it drives off. 

You sigh and sniff back the tears that threaten to fall. You shake your head and walk home. 

You can already hear the sound of the movie from outside the door when you get home. You open the door to see Jimin and Taehyung spread out on the couch. Their heads turn to the door when you come in and they smile. 

“Hey, Y/n.” They say in sync, you smile back, removing your boots.

“Hey guys, what are you watching?” You query closing the door. 

“Some movie Taehyung chose.” Jimin sounds bored and Taehyung pouts.

“You told me I have to choose.” Taehyung defends himself. 

“I expected you to choose something good,” Jimin says and is met with a pillow to the face in response. 

You move to the kitchen filling up a glass of water. 

“Where is Jungkook?” You ask when you notice that there isn’t a third person in front of the TV.

“O he went out,” Tae says not looking away from the TV. 

“O” You feel disappointed before something dawns on you. “Wait if he isn’t here how did you get in?” You narrow your eyes in suspicion.

“O well…” Jimin and Tae look at each other. 

“He let us in before he left,” Jimin says after a moment and you nod at the explanation. 

“Do you want to join us?” Tae asks turning around on the couch to see you. 

“No thanks guys, I have to study.” You shake your head and they groan. 

“You always have to study. Come and hang out with us.” Jimin pleads and you have to giggle at his pout. You think about it for a moment, you don’t really want to study anyway. 

“Fine.” You give in and they both smile making space for you on the couch in between them. 

You walk over and sit down in the space. You lean back and make yourself comfortable. 

“Here you can choose a new movie.” Jimin declares stealing the remote from Tae. 

“Hey!” Tae exclaims before clearing his throat. “I mean sure Y/n you can choose a new movie.” He relents and you laugh but don’t take the remote from Jimin’s outstretched hand.

“I’m okay, making choices right now is only going to melt my brain.” You confess and Jimin nods. 

“Okay, I’ll pick.” He says, exiting the movie and starts scrolling for a new one. 

“So don’t you want to know where Jungkook is?” Jimin asks, a mischievous look in his eyes as he looks at you. 

“Jimin.” Taehyung’s voice is stern but Jimin ignores him turning in his seat to face you. 

“So do you want to know?” He asks again and you stare at him. 

“Uhm… okay?” You look between Taehyung and Jimin, unsure about what’s going on. 

“He’s on a date.” Jimin gossips surveying your face for a reaction and you stare at him in surprise. 

“O…” You have to control your face to not show the disappointment that floods through you. “That’s good for him.” You say. 

Jimin and Taehyung exchange a look.

“Does it bother you?” Taehyung asks and you look at him.

“Of course not why would it?” You ask surprised, your voice a little to high and Taehyung smirks.

“Just asking.” He turns back in his seat as Jimin’s movie choice starts playing. 

You sink deeper into the couch and try to focus on the movie playing but your mind keeps going back to the information you just heard. 

He’s on a date. It shouldn’t bother you, you’re friends you should be happy for him but you’re not. It hurts. If he’s on a date it means any feelings you deluded yourself into thinking he has for you aren’t real. You keep thinking about it throughout the movie and soon it morphs into anger. How dare he almost kiss you, not talk to you about it, borderline avoid you and then go on a date with someone else. The anger builds and by the time Jimin and Taehyung leave you are ready to scream. 

You go to your room and try to cool down by focusing on studying, but you can’t. Every time your head goes back to imagining him with someone else and it makes you angry all over again. You finally give up on studying and just when you turn off your laptop you hear the front door open. You sit still for a minute weighing your options. 

You can finally confront him about this and demand to know what is going on, why he tried to kiss you and smooth things over and go back to being friends. Or you can take the easy route out and just ignore him and things can back to how they were in the beginning. You frown, you know you don’t want that. You don’t think you’d be able to handle it if you never speak again, so instead, you get up. 

He’s in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when you enter. He stops with the spoon halfway to his mouth when he spots you. 

“Hi.” He says and uncomfortably looks around.

“Hi,” you say back, walking into the kitchen. His eyes follow you as you walk, chewing slowly.

“Well, I’m gonna uhm…” He trails off clearly looking for an excuse to leave but you interrupt him.

“Jungkook can we talk.” You ask and he looks at you in surprise. 

“Uhm, sure.” He puts the bowl done. “About what?” He isn’t looking at you. 

You mentally prepare yourself for what you’re about to say. You hate confrontation but you know you need to do this. 

“About what happened when you were drunk.” You start and he looks at you.

“What do you mean?” He sounds confused but you know him well enough now to know when he is faking. “I can’t remember anything from that night.” 

“Are you sure?” You ask, crossing your arms. “Because you say that but you’ve been borderline avoiding me for the past few weeks and I need to know why.” 

“O well..” He rubs the back of his neck.

“I think you remember and I get if you regret almost kissing me, but you could have at least told me.” You continue not giving him time to try and explain himself. “Then I hear you went on a date, and I mean I get it you can do what you want, but you could at least have talked to me and set things straight and said you were just drunk and not just leave me confused as fuck.” You’re getting angry again and he stares at you in surprise. 

“Wait a date?” Is that really all he got from that? You narrow your eyes at him, why is he playing stupid. 

“Who said I went on a date?” He asks confused and you roll your eyes.

“Jimin told me.” You answer him, getting irritated now.

“Fucking Jimin,” he mumbles before looking at you. “Y/n I didn’t go on a date.” 

“What?” You frown in confusion, caught off guard. 

“Yeah, Jimin,” He moves closer so that he’s in front of you. “He must have told you to get you to confront me because he knows how I feel about you.” 

Your mind reels, and you uncross your arms in surprise. “Wait what do you mean how you feel about me?”

He groans. 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” He says, running his hands through his hair. “I was supposed to come to you like we practiced.” He says without thinking and you frown.

“Practiced?” You’re so confused. 

“I also wasn’t supposed to say that.” He blushes, and sighs. “I practiced with them how to do this but I guess that isn’t going to happen.” He bites his lip. 

“Jungkook what are you talking about.” You don’t understand what is going on. 

He sighs again. 

“Y/n I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you but I didn’t know how to say this, and after you pulled away that night I thought you didn’t feel the same and honestly I was scared of being rejected, I know I was being stupid, I’m sorry if it hurt your feelings.” He steps forward, explaining. 

“I just like you a lot, I mean since I got to know you, you’ve been on my mind the entire time, and I thought being friends would be enough but then I got drunk and came home and you were here, I knew I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you but I just couldn’t stop myself you were right there and I couldn’t muster up the courage to do it sober, and then you pulled away and I felt awful for putting you in that situation and…” He rambles and you cut him off.

“Wow Jungkook, calm down.” You don’t even have time to process what he’s saying. 

“How can I calm down?” He says, his face red from blushing and working himself up. “Fuck Y/n I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long.”

His words finally start to sink in and you can feel yourself getting hopeful but you have to make sure what he’s saying.

“Jungkook are you saying you like me?” You ask stupidly and he steps closer taking your face into his hands.

“God Y/n I like you so fucking much, you drive me crazy.” He breathes out leaning in closer and your heart soars, beating unhealthily fast. “Please tell me if you don’t feel the same because then I will stop right now.”

“Jungkook.” He rips his eyes away from your lips and looks you in the eye. “Kiss me.” 

He doesn’t need to be asked twice. 

Finally, his lips find yours, and your heart and mind go haywire. You’re sure if you were hooked up to a heart monitor it would be going crazy. His lips move against yours and his hands move from your face to your waist pulling you closer. You wind your arms around his neck, and push your hand into his hair, pulling slightly and you smile when you hear the small moan escape his throat. You relish in his soft lips on yours and you melt into his chest. 

Finally, you pull away a few inches. You both breathe heavily, chests bumping into each other as they expand. He smiles joyously, before pecking you softly again. 

“Fuck,” he breathes out, “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.”

“And I’ve wanted you to do that so long,” you confess and he smiles. 

“Well in that case.” He leans in again and you gladly meet his lips halfway. 

If the first kiss was sweet this one is intense. He moves his hands to the back of your thighs and picks you up. You gasp but wrap your legs around him before attaching your lips again. He carries you to the couch and lays you down on it softly without breaking the kiss. You make out until you feel like your lungs may implode from the lack of air, but even then you don’t pull away, his lips more of a necessity than oxygen. Your head spins, and you push him lightly making him pull away, but he catches your hand on his chest pinning it above your head. 

“I’m not done with you just yet, princess.” His voice is husky and you groan. 

“Holy shit finally.” 

Both of your heads snap to the front door where Jimin and Tae are standing with bags of take-out in their hands.

You both scramble to sit up, Jungkook falling off of the couch in surprise. 

Taehyung gapes at you and Jimin looks at you smugly. 

You blush but the only thing that crosses your muddled brain is where the fuck did they get a key. 

.

.

.

“A sewer?” 

“Wrong”

“A lake?” 

“Nope.” 

“Ugh… just tell me.” You’ve been trying to guess the answer to this ongoing dispute and Jungkook has not given you even one hint. 

“Where’s the fun in me telling you hmm?” He replies, where he is sitting behind you, his legs on either side of you.

You’re both on the couch, the TV casting a glow over the living room as you sit in the dark. It started with you watching a movie but when he finally came home it didn’t take 5 minutes until he pulled you into him, and started playing with your hair. 

Ever since you two kissed and confessed, he’s been finding every excuse possible to have you as close as possible, it’s like he wants to be touching you  at all times. One would think you’d mind but you definitely don’t.

 “There I finished.” He proclaims happily, taking a picture and showing it to you. 

On the screen is a very messy-looking french braid and you grimace in your mind at the untangling that is waiting for you later tonight, or is it later this morning? 

“It looks great hey?” Jungkook asks for reassurance when you haven’t said anything. He looks so proud how can you not smile widely at him. 

“It looks amazing Kookie.” You laugh, turning around fully and kissing him on the cheek.

You’ve both been making an effort to spend as much time together as possible. A very hard feat as he is away most of the day and night and you are studying most of the time. But you finally found the sweet spot just past 3 am. He tries to be home and you set an alarm to wake up in time. 

It was one of the nights when he was late that you were sitting on the couch braiding your hair for lack of something else to do. He came walking in with a limp, he tripped and fell while chasing Jimin, you swear this boy is one of the clumsiest people you have ever met. When he saw you braiding your hair he immediately asked you to teach him. He’s still perfecting it, so he likes to practice as much as possible. 

“I think I should grow my hair out,” He says, pulling on his hair as if it will become longer. “ Then I can braid my own hair.” The strands he was pulling fall into his face and he blows them away unsuccessfully. 

“I think it’ll look cute if you did,” You push the hair out of his face, “ Then you can wear it in a lot of styles.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.” He smiles and takes your hand that was playing with his hair, turning it around and starts to pepper kisses on your palm. 

“That tickles.” You try to pull away giggling but he just pulls you closer, until you are finally face level with him. 

He cups your face softly and smiles, leaning in to kiss you. Your lips meet in a sweet soft kiss and you pull away after a few seconds. He follows with his lips and you giggle at him. 

“That’s just mean.” He pouts and you smile, giving him a peck to make up for it. 

Jungkook smiles widely, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you tightly. He sighs in content. 

“I never thought when I met you that I would be lucky enough to be able to do this.” You look at him only to see him smiling softly, as he leans his head on top of yours. 

“ I also never thought you would be lucky enough.” You joke. 

“Is that so huh?” He laughs wrapping his legs around you as he starts to tickle you. His finger dancing over your sides.  

“Never be this lucky huh?” He laughs while you squeal from his tickling fingers, squirming to try and get away. But his legs and arms are locking you in. 

“Okay, okay.” You exclaim trying to breathe through the laughter. He stops his fingers poised to attack again mere centimeters away from your sides.

“ What?” He leans closer so that his ear is right beside your mouth, “ i don’t think I heard you.”

“I said, okay, you were always going to be so lucky.” You lay it on thick and he seems pleased, laughing at you. 

He hums wrapping his arms tightly around you and pulling you into his chest.

“ Of course you wouldn’t be bale to resist my charms.” He kisses the top of your head when you scoff. “But truth is I would never have been able to resist yours.” You can feel his lips stretch into a smile on top of your head and it causes you to smile. 

Your phone vibrates and you frown. Who would be texting you at this time? Jungkook hands you your phone and you check it. 

“Why is she awake?” You mumble, and frown.

“Who?” Jungkook inquiries. Tilting his head to see your screen. 

“My sister,” You turn the phone so he can read the message. “She is inviting me to her first game this weekend.”

“O, that’s nice are you going to go?” Jungkook asks seeing that you haven’t replied to her yet.

“I don’t know,” you groan. “I mean I haven’t seen her in so long and i miss her terribly, but I don’t know, I have class on Friday afternoon and getting there and back again at night is going to be a pain.” You wish you had a car but with everything so close to your apartment you never saw the need, until now. 

“Hmm…” Jungkook hums. “You can think about it tomorrow.” he states and pulls the phone from your hand and tucks your head underneath his chin again. You decide he is right, there is no use in worrying yourself about it now.

You relish in the moment. In the feel of his arms around you, his skin on yours and his cheek pressed on top of your head. You close your eyes and breath in. You smile softly as his scent invades your nose. Jungkook smells just so Jungkook, his laundry detergent mixed with something else you can never place your finger on. All you know is that it smells amazing, and you nuzzle closer into his chest. 

The warmth radiates off of him, keeping you warm and his sweater underneath you cheek is soft. Your eyes are starting to get heavy, the time catching up to you, you peak at the clock. Just past 4 am, you guess it’s okay for you to sleep now. You wiggle until you're comfortable. Jungkook’s chest is rising and falling rhythmically, giving away the fact that he is also sleeping. You lightly close your eyes, ready to wake up cuddling later today. 

That thought is wrenched from your head just like your comfortable pillow, when Jungkook slips off the couch in surprise at his phone’s ringing, breaking the soft silence that occupied the space mere moments ago. You follow Jungkook to the floor, but quickly get up to help him search for his phone, that he finds a minute later holding it above his head triumphantly, before realising he has to answer the still ringing phone. 

His expression changes from sleepy and smiling to cold and serious as he listens to the person talking on the other side. You frown in confusion but he shakes his head getting up from the floor all while talking low and in short sentences that give nothing away about what they are speaking about. 

You know this routine, Jungkook’s work calls him at all hours of the day and night. You tried to convince him that he should quit but he refused, saying that finding a new job now is only going to stress him out. You don’t understand at all but you decided not to push, however the bunch of job ads on your laptop is ready when he is. 

“Sorry baby, I have to leave, apparently someone disappeared while on duty.” He explains pulling on his jacket and racing forward to give you a kiss on the cheek. 

“Okay, be safe.” You call after him. He gives you one last smile and disappears through the door. 

You sit in the quiet apartment for a while, thinking everything over. The past months have really thrown everything around,  but you couldn’t be happier about it. You can’t believe there was a time that you didn’t even speak to Jungkook. 

Everyone always calls him intimidating but you so easily got the sweet side to him you can’t understand what Jimin and Taehyung means when they say Jungkook can be scary and people are afraid of him. Sure you’ve seen him irritated but what they’re describing sounds more like people are really afraid of him.  He always denies it though and argues with them. They usually give up very easily, especially when they are reminded of your presence. You guess he doesn’t want you to think badly of him. 

You don’t think it would be possible to think badly of Jungkook, he is so sweet, so compassionate and so understanding. He goes out of his way to help you study and supports you before tests by always making you coffee. 

You get up, getting the sticky notes you now have an abundance of at all times. You write him a message for when he gets home, you know you’ll probably be asleep when he gets back. 

The notes have morphed from just telling each other when you’re going out to becoming a full conversation tool. Since you both struggle to see each other, missing each other some days completely you started leaving notes as a way of saying good morning, reminding the other of something or just give them a nice message for the day. The warning to not die or to avoid something horrible during the other’s absence is still a necessity. 

You smile and stick the note to his bedroom door. Taehyung has on multiple occasions double checked on both of your phones that you do actually understand the concept of texting. He gagged evey time at what he calls the “sickly sweet” messages between you two. Reminded of that, you do send him a text to be safe, before your get into bed. 

In bed, cozy and warm you finally fall asleep after two true crime videos.

.

.

.

Becky is rambling again. This time about how her parents won’t buy her a new car after she crashed hers. You roll your eyes when she isn’t looking and nod your head when she is. 

“I mean the crash wasn’t even my fault the other car wasn’t suppose to be there. Who parks in designated parking anyway?” She continues, even though you've long been blocking out her words.

You realise she is waiting for a response. 

“Yeah definitely.” you say to please her and she’s off again. 

Your mind wanders to your sister. You had to tell you couldn’t come to her game tonight and the sadness in her voice still hurts you every time you think about it. Maybe you should just go. You can take a taxi, but you already cringe at the amount of money that would be. You could ask your parents but you feel guilty. They are already paying your rent, and your studies prevent you from getting a job, so you can’t contribute to anything. At least you have a scholarship, you guess. 

“O my god.” Becky exclaims and it takes you a moment to realise she’s stopped walking. You frown at her, wondering what made her stop. “He has friends!” She pulls you closer and you frown finally looking up to see what she is looking at. 

Your eyes land on Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin, who are all stood at the road, leaning against a car. When Jungkook sees you he smiles but the smile drops when he sees who you’re with. He whispers something to his friends who immediately look up from their phones. 

“Come on.” Becky’s nails are digging into your arm as she pulls you forward to the three waiting men. 

“I know you know that one but you have to introduce me to his friends okay?” She hisses into your ear, before throwing her brightest smile at the men. 

You grimace a bit at the thought of introducing them, your worst fear suddenly becoming her dating Taehyung or Jimin. She pulls you along until you’re standing in front of them. 

“Hey ba…” Jungkook can’t even greet you before Becky is chipping in. 

“Hey I’m sure you remember me, we met a few weeks ago.” She smiles at Jungkook. “But I haven’t had the pleasure to meet your friends. Right Y/n?” She squeezes your arm painfully and you wince, smiling awkwardly. 

“Right uhm..this is Jimin and this is Taehyung.” You gesture to the two men hoping she’ll release her hold on you now. You’re not that lucky. 

“Jimin, Taehyung.” She smiles dazzlingly. “ it’s so nice to meet you I’m…” 

“Becky.” Jimin finishes her sentence for her, glaring at her. 

“We know.” Taehyung adds mimicking his friend’s expression. 

Becky tilts her head to the side at their hostility, the smile still on her face as if cemented there. 

“Baby why don’t we get going?” Jungkook asks you, placing his hand on the arm that Becky is still clinging to, forcing her to remove her hands from you. Jungkook pulls you to his side, wrapping an arm around you as soon as you're next to him. 

“Baby?” Becky gasps in surprise. “Wow, are you guys dating?” Becky exclaims, her voice sickly sweet. 

“Yes we are.” Jungkook answers with an eyebrow raised, irritation seeping out of him. 

“You sure do have an interesting taste in girls.” Becky comments and looks you up and down her eyes judging you but as soon as she turns back to the men she’s all smiles again. 

Jungkook must have noticed because his hold on you tightens. 

“We should go on a double date sometime.” She winks at Jimin.

“Yeah you’re definitely not my type,” Jimin responds scoffing walking away from her to get in the car without a second glance. 

Becky gasps, bawling her hands into fists. Her smile is gone and instead her face is screwed up like a toddler’s who is about to throw a tantrum. She gasps for words but in the time it takes her to arrange her thoughts Jungkook is dragging you into the car before driving off. 

“Can you imagine the audacity of her.” Jimin rants.

“And the way she insulted you in front of us.” Taehyung adds. 

“It’s okay guys don’t worry.” You try to calm them down. The whole situation makes you laugh. “Thanks for teaching her a lesson.” You look to the backseat with a smile and both men seem to be placated for now. 

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks, glancing at you before returning his gaze back onto the road. 

You sigh, “yeah I’m okay,” you stroke your arm where she was holding you. “ who knew fake nails could hurt so much.” You chuckle looking at Jungkook only to see his jaw clenching. 

“She hurt you?” He asks and you shrug. 

“Do you want us to kill her?” Taehyung pipes up and you laugh at the suggestion. 

“Thanks but Jungkook already offered.” You laugh and it makes Jungkook smile at the memory. 

“Wait,” you frown suddenly realising you’re in a car driving somewhere. “Where are we going? And whose car is this?” 

“We’re kidnapping you.” Jimin jokes and you frown in confusion. 

“No really where are we going?” You chuckle but they shake their heads. 

“Just trust us okay?” Jungkook says squeezing your thigh, leaving his one hand there while he drives, causing you to blush.

The rest of the drive is filled with you begging them to tell you where you’re going but they never budge. 

When you finally arrive you frown. What are you doing at a school? 

You hesitantly follow the boys’ lead and get out of the car. There are people everywhere, teenagers walking in little groups laughing, adults chasing after smaller children as they run to the food stands. There is excitement in the air you can feel it and it isn’t until a certain pair of faces catch your eye that you realise where you are. How could you not have figured it out sooner. 

Your mom and dad come rushing towards you, smiles plastered onto their faces and you feel your face mimicking theirs immediately. 

“Hi…” You barely get the word out before your dad pulls you into a bearhug. His arms tightening around your body and you let out a squeak signaling that you can’t breath. 

“O sorry honey,” He chuckles and release you, giving your mom the chance to pull you into a less squishy hug. 

“I can’t believe you came,” Your mother grins, brushing some of your hair back into place, “ Lilly is going to be so happy, what changed your mind?” 

You blush. “ It’s less of my doing and more of theirs.” You point to the three boys behind your parents who have been watching the scene with pleased smiles. “Mom, dad,” You walk to Jungkook when your parents turn at your pointing finger, “ This is Jungkook, my… roommate.” You glance at him afraid he’ll be angry at you for not introducing him as your boyfriend or something but he just smiles brightly, his nose scrunching up and you almost melt. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He sticks out his hand for your parents to shake, your dad smile at him shaking his hand and your mom throws you a look. You groan inwardly you already know that look, it’s basically saying “ why didn’t you tell me he is so good looking?”.  You give her a look back trying to prevent her from asking all her questions out loud. 

“Well Jungkook it’s so nice to finally put a face to the name,” your dad says happily 

“And who came with you?” Your mom asks looking past you at Jimin and Taehyung who has now taken a bunch of signs out of the back of the car. 

“O this is my friends,” Jungkook gestures, “ This is Jimin and Taehyung, they wanted to come support Y/n’s little sister with us.” 

“O isn’t that lovely,” Your mom says clutching her heart, clearly moved by the sweetness. 

“Don’t get it wrong Ma’m this was all Jungkook’s idea, we just made the signs.” Jimin smiles and turns the sign in his hand around to show your sister's name in glitter. You look at them in surprise, they probably made all of this last night, and you can feel your chest getting warm from the emotions bubbling up in you. You turn to Jungkook and he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. 

He leans down to whisper to you while your parents fret over the Jimin and Taehyung’s effort. “They went a bit overboard.” He blushes slightly and you just shake your head. “I love it, thank you.” You want to kiss him but your dad is already there stuffing one of the signs in your hands.

“Come on you two the game is about to start.” Your dad proclaims, nodding to your mom who is  already walking to the bleachers with Jimin and Taehyung in tow. You and Jungkook follow quickly and as soon as you find your seats, the teams come rushing onto the field. 

“Which one is your sister?” Jungkook asks over the screams of the crowd and you point to Lilly.

Her hair is dyed blonde at the moment making her easy to find as the light bounces off it. She turns to the bleachers searching and you wave holding up the sign in your hands. You can see the exact moment she finds you because her eyes light up and a huge grin forms on her face, she follows the signs with her name on it and frown for a second at the three boys holding the others, lifting an eyebrow at you before her teammates drag her into huddle. 

“She looks like you.” Taehyung leans over Jungkook to tell you and you roll your eyes. Everyone says it but you and your sister have never seen the resemblance. Maybe it’s because you’re both so different in personality that it makes you unable to see the physical similarities. 

“Did you play sports in school Y/n?” Jungkook asks. 

At his question your mom dad laughs. “ No, Y/n-bear has always been the studying type.” He ruffles your hair and you groan. “She fell asleep in the library so often the librarian had our number.” Your dad jokes and you cringe. 

“Dad…” You whine and the three boys next to you burst out laughing. 

“Y/n-bear huh.” Jungkook giggles and you cringe and stick out your tongue at him. 

“As if your parents don’t have a embarrassing nickname for you.” You counter but his smile drops for a second, before coming back. 

“We just call him Kookie.” Jimin pipes up causing Jungkook to blush. 

“Or Bambi because when we met him he had these huge eyes.” Taehyung joins in smirking as Jungkook groans, clearly enjoying teasing the younger boy. Jungkook playfully smack him in retaliation and Taehyung is just about to fight back when the whistle blows, signaling the start of the game. 

The game is a stressful one, the two teams keeping the score even. You cheer with every goal you’re sister’s team scores and you have to physically calm your dad down from yelling at the referee when he makes a bad call, only to find the other three men yelling along with him. At some point in the game, Jungkook’s hand finds yours and you intertwine your fingers together. You’re jumping up and down in celebration of another goal when you turn to him smiling wide to find him staring at you. The intense look on his face makes you blush. 

“What ?” You ask a little out of breath but he just shakes his head. 

“ I think I might be in trouble,” He whispers in your ear and you frown in confusion. 

“Why?” You cock your head to the side, staring into his eyes. 

“Because,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “ I can’t help but think every time I see you, how much I love you.” 

The bleachers burst out in an eruption of cheers as the end whistle blows signaling your sister’s win. But all you can hear is Jungkook’s confession ringing in your ears. You’re both staring into each other’s eyes and you’re about to reply when your dad pulls you into a hug, cheering for your sister, and starts to drag you down to the field to go congratulate her in person. You look back to see Jungkook softly smiling at you as Jimin and Taehyung jump onto him for a group hug. 

As soon as your sister sees you she is running to you at full speed, crashing into you and making you stumble back. 

“Did you see I scored the winning goal!” she exclaims and her teammates burst into cheers again around her. 

“I saw Lils I saw.” you lie, it’s not like you’re going to tell her you missed it because you just heard Jungkook say he loves you for the first time. 

“O my god, I can’t believe you’re here, I’m so glad you came.” she gushes, shaking you and jumping up and down. In moments like these she reminds you a lot of a hyperactive puppy. She suddenly stops, looking over your shoulder and you turn to see what she’s looking at. “Who are they?” she asks and you smile when your eyes land on Jungkook and his friends.

“That’s…” 

“Hi, I’m Jimin, wow I’m a huge fan the way you just scored that goal amazing, just amazing!” Jimin interrupts you before you can even introduce him. 

“Right, that was awesome who knew Y/n’s little sister is such a badass.” Taehyung joins Jimin. “Im Taehyung by the way we’re Y/n’s friends.” 

“I didn’t know my sister had such gorgeous friends wow,” Your sister blurts out without a bit of shame. “Did you make the signs? I loved them by the way.” 

They both nod enthusiastically and she hugs them both. Your sister has never been the shy type, she shows how she’s feeling without a care, which is very nice when she’s happy but can be a pain in the ass when she’s mad. Jimin and Taehyung don’t seem to mind though and they happily accept the physical contact. 

“Lilly this is Jungkook.” You finally get her attention back to you. Her eyes widen at the mention of his name.

“So you’re my sister’s roommate?” She asks and when he nods she jumps up an down clapping her hands. “She told me a lot about you, it’s so nice to meet you.”

Jungkook chuckles, glancing at you at the new information. “It’s nice to meet you too, I’d love to hear all about the things your sister has been telling you.” He smirks and she laughs. 

“O yeah, I’ll tell you but come meet my teammates first they’ve all been distracted by the three hot guys on the bleachers.” Jungkook barely has a moment to react before Lilly is dragging him, Tae and Jimin to her friends. You just stand and laugh, ignoring their pleading stares for help as they are bombarded by teenage girls.

“Fancy meeting you here Y/n.” A voice next to you makes you jump and you look to the side, only to find a man who looks strangely familiar. You rack your brain and when you finally figure out how you know him, you freeze. It’s that creepy guy from the elevator. 

“I haven’t seen you around the building, have you been avoiding me?” Damion asks his voice making it sound like he’s hurt but his eyes are as cold as ever. 

“What are you doing here?” You blurt out, confused and you’ll admit a little bit scared.

“O my niece is in the other team, she asked me to come watch her game,” He waves his hand as if to brush off the accusatory tone in your voice. His eyes fall onto the scene behind you, “Is that your sister?” He asks innocently and you only nod. “She looks just like you.” He smiles but it sends a chill down your spine, he leans closer and you cringe back but his hand is holding you in place. “I’d love to meet her one day, “ he whispers.

“Y/n!” Lilly’s voice makes you look towards where she is beckoning you closer, you sigh out in relief to have an excuse to get away from Damion but when you turn to say something he’s gone. 

You shake your head a little to clear it and plaster on a smile. You walk to where Lilly and your parents are standing. 

“Hey you okay?” Jungkook asks when you’re close enough and you just nod. 

“Yeah I’m fine, just a bit cold.” You lie, although the night has turned chilly and without missing a beat Jungkook takes off his jacket and drapes it around you.  

“Y/n are you and the boys going to join us for post game celebrations?” Your mom asks, and you sigh.

“I’m sorry guys but I have a test coming up.” You bite your lip feeling bad. 

“You can miss one night of studying right?” Lilly interjects, “ I still want to hang out with you.” She pouts and it breaks your heart to have to say no. 

“Come now Lilly you know how hard your sister has to study, we don’t want to keep her out too late.” Your dad scolds her but your sister’s face doesn’t change. 

“We’ll come visit again,” Jungkook says trying to soothe her and she looks at him surprised. 

“Yeah and then we can go out to get ice cream or something.” You pipe up gratefully. “I promise.” You hold out your pinky finger and after a second she takes it in her own. 

“Okay, fine but you all have to come again.” She looks to Jimin and Tae too and they smile promising her. 

You all walk back to the together. Lilly who now seems much more satisfied is leading the way talking animatedly to Jungkook and Jimin while Taehyung is taking up your father’s attention , talking about god knows what. 

“He’s a very nice young man.” Your mom says looping her arm through yours while she stares at Jungkook laughing at something Lilly said. 

“Yeah he is.” You agree happy to know your mom likes him. If you were to tell her of your relationship with Jungkook you’re at least sure she’ll approve.

“You two make a good couple.” You look at her in surprise. “Mom…” 

“ O please save it,  do you think I’m blind?” She asks amused and you shake your head on impulse.  “ the way you two look at each other  is enough to make anyone see that you’re absolutely crazy for each other.” 

You blush and she coos, “O my sweet Y/n has her first boyfriend.” She squishes your face in her hands and you shake loose of her hold. “Mom stop it.” you whine but she just giggles. 

“I’m glad you’re happy sweety.” 

“Me too Mom,” you smile, “and I am really happy.” She nods and you say goodbye quickly, the others already waiting at the car. 

You hug your dad and with one last squishy hug from Lilly you get in the car. Although you love your family you can’t wait to get back to the apartment, because you have something very important to do. 

Jimin and Taehyung say goodbye to you in the street because they have to return the car that they apparently borrowed from Hobi, though you don’t know how loosely they used the term borrowed. So it’s just you and Jungkook who goes up to the apartment. 

“Jungkook…” The front door closes behind you. He turns around and you throw yourself into his arms. “Thank you so much for tonight.” You mumble into his chest, holding him tighter. 

You feel his chuckle reverberate through his chest. “ It’s a pleasure, I’m just glad your parents seem to like me,” he pulls away so that he can see your face, “they do like me right?”

You laugh. Is that what he was worrying about tonight? “Are you kidding my mom loves you.” 

Jungkook breathes out dramatically. “O thank god, otherwise we would have to be star-crossed lovers.” He smirks and you roll your eyes, earning a kiss on the forehead from him. 

“I did want to talk to you actually.” You bite your lip, looking away feeling shy all of a sudden. 

Jungkook lifts his eyebrows. “That doesn’t sound good.” He leads you to the couch to sit down, his hands holding yours.

“It’s nothing bad I promise it’s just after what you said on the bleachers well…” 

Jungkook interrupts you. “Y/n it’s okay, you don’t have to say it back if you don’t want to.” 

“No that’s not it I…”

“I didn’t say it for an answer I said it that you know how I feel.” He rambles.

“No Jungkook…” 

He isn’t looking at you but he continues to talk. “I mean I know it’s probably too soon to say it, we haven’t been dating that long but…”

 “Jungkook!” his gaze snap to you in surprise and you smile. “I’m trying to say that I love you too.” You watch in amusement as his face morphs from shocked to blushing and then it lands on something else.

“Say it again.” His eyes are hooded and he is leaning towards you.

“What?” You’re confused, your eyebrows furrowing. 

He raises your hands over your head causing you to fall back onto the couch. He leans over you now, smirking and his stare intense. 

“Say,” he kisses your cheek, “it”, he kisses your jaw, “again.” His lips find your neck and you squirm a bit.

“I love you.” You say breathlessly, he removes his lips from your neck to look at you. 

“Good girl.” Is all he says before his lips captures yours. You can feel yourself melt and butterflies erupt in your stomach at his words. He bites your bottom lip lightly and you moan, causing him to smile. His lips are hot against yours, impatient in its movements as if he can’t get enough of you. 

You tug at his hand that is still holding your wrists and he lets go, only for you to thread them into his hair pulling lightly. He groans and wraps his arms around your back pulling you onto his lap. 

You’ve made out before of course but something was different tonight it’s as if you’re both starving for each other. You tug at his shirt’s hem and he gets the message because he rips it off before pulling you closer again. You place your hand on his chest and gasp at the warmth of his skin underneath your palms. You lightly drag your nails down his chest and he moans into your mouth when it rests at the waistband of his pants.

He pulls away slightly giving you both a moment to breathe. “ Baby wait.” He takes your hand on his pants in his own, holding it against his chest. 

“Why?” You pout and he chuckles. 

“I really want to do this, really want to, but we can’t on the couch.” He explains and your mind immediately goes to the many times Taehyung and Jimin have burst into the apartment and found you both on the couch in compromising positions like this. 

“Fine,” You say and get up from his lap, holding out your hand for him, “Your bed or mine?” 

He smirks and picks you up. You gasp and wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you into his room, making sure to lock the door behind him.

.

.

.

You impatiently tap your fingers on the counter waiting for the coffee machine. You were too lazy to put on any real clothes not seeing the point so you’re dressed in one of Jungkook’s hoodies and socks. A podcast is playing over your headphones and you already have a cup ready in your hand. You’re taking a break from studying but you know you’ll probably finish the coffee in your room  in what is now essentially just your study, seeing as you don’t sleep in there anymore. You smile lightly at the memory of this morning, a relaxed sunny morning filled with soft kisses and cuddles. That is until you finally had to tear yourself away to go to class and Jungkook had to go to work. You got back from class a few hours ago but your boyfriend still hasn’t returned. His note had said he’ll probably be home late, so you’re not worried, but you wish you knew what he was busy with. 

Even after all this time you still didn’t know what exactly his job is. He would always tip-toe around the question claiming that he does a lot of things, odd jobs really, but you feel like he isn’t telling you the full truth. You don’t see a reason to confront him about it though, because what job could possibly be a bad one right?

You’re so lost in thought you don’t even feel the presence behind you until arms wrap around you. 

You scream, hurling around only to find a giggling Jungkook behind you. 

Jungkook takes out the headphones in your ears. “ You should be careful, I could have been a murderer.” He jokes.

You roll your eyes. “I knew you were there the entire time.” Which of course is a lie, you had no idea that someone was in the apartment. 

“Yeah?” You nod profusely.

 Jungkook pulls you closer. “Then why did you scream?” He smirks knowing that you’re lying. 

You open your mouth to reply but you can’t really think of anything to say so you close it again to his amusement. 

“Yeah I thought so.” He smiles at you. You stare at his smile. It always makes you smile too, the way his whole face lights up and you’re sure you can stare at him forever when he looks at you the way he is now.

“That doesn’t matter anyway,” you pull him closer, “because now that you’re home, we can spend the rest of the night together.” 

He raises his eyebrows, “Yeah? what did you have in mind hmm?” He is smirking again, backing you up until your back meets the counter, caging you in. His eyes are hooded, gone is the bunny smiling man and instead he looks like a predator, waiting for you to make the first move.

You smirk, and pull him closer until your lips meet. You kiss him sweetly but after a moment you rack your fingers into his hair pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss. He moans lightly into your mouth and you smirk pulling away. 

“Maybe we should watch a movie?” You say innocently trying to escape his hold but he doesn’t relent.

“O no you’re not getting away that easily. I come home and you’re only in my hoodie,” He tugs at the fabric lightly. “I’m definitely not watching a movie with you like this.” 

You shrug. “ Fine by me.” You giggle, leaning in for another kiss but he suddenly grimaces in pain. 

“Jungkook?” You question as he grips onto his leg. 

“Just give me a moment okay?” He says, his eyes a bit panicked, you nod and he backs away. You catch sight of his hand when it leaves his black covered leg and you’ve been patching him up so much you can easily see the red liquid that coats it. 

Your eyes go wide. “Jungkook is that blood?” You move closer to him but he moves back. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” He replies, but you’re not so easily convinced. 

“Let me see.” You command but he shakes his head. “Jungkook let me see.” You use your doctor voice and he sighs. 

“We better go to the bathroom then.” He looks worried which makes you worry, but you help him to the bathroom where he sits down on the closed toilet. You kneel in front of him.

Now that you’re closer you can see the wet stain that is growing by the second. And you gasp when he removes his pants and you get a good look at the wound. The skin is peeled away on his thigh leaving a long deep gash and a bunch of bruising around it. It isn’t something you’ve seen before in person.

“Jungkook what happened?” You sound a bit hysteric even to your own ears. 

Jungkook curses when he sees it. “I thought he missed.” He mumbles.

“Missed what?” You ask stupidly, staring up at Jungkook. 

“I got mugged again.” He tries to explain but you see the way he looks away not meeting your eyes. 

“Okay either you’re the most unlucky person ever that gets mugged a lot or you’re lying to me.” You know it’s the latter. Unlike the first time that he came home bleeding you now know him well enough to know when he is lying. 

“Y/n…” He pleads for you to not press but you’ve had enough. 

“Jungkook, I’ve been quiet every time you come home injured, I patch you up and let it go but this looks like a bullet grazed you.” There is no other injury you can think of that will look like this. You look at him waiting for him to deny it but he just sighs. 

“Y/n can’t you just patch me up and forget about it?” He sounds angry but you can see that it’s just clouding panic. 

“No, tell me what happened.” You demand. “I’m your girlfriend don’t you think I’m at least entitled to the truth?” 

He shakes his head. “You shouldn’t know the truth.” He says it through clenched teeth and you frown. 

“You really don’t think I deserve to know the truth?” You raise your voice, getting angry now. Why can’t he just tell you? 

“That’s not what I’m saying, it’s just better that you don’t know the truth.” He is getting angry now too. 

“That makes no sense, did this happen because of your job?” You can’t think of another explanation as to why he keeps getting hurt like this. 

He glares at you and for the first time ever you see his scary gaze directed at you. “That has nothing to do with you.” He growls and you flinch. He looks like he regrets it immediately but you don’t look at him. Instead you start disinfecting the wound. 

You don’t react when he tries to get your attention throughout the process, you just wrap up his injury and when you’re done you stand up without a word. 

Jungkook grabs your wrist and you stare at him. “ Wait, I’m sorry. Can we just talk about this?” 

“I don’t want to hear anymore lies Jungkook.” You retort but he doesn’t let you go. 

He gulps and bites his lip, clearly struggling. “If I tell you what happen you’ll run away from me.” He says it with such certainty that you hesitate for a second. He sounds so sad. 

“You won’t know that unless you tell me, besides you should know me better than to think I’d just leave you because you told me the truth,” you try to wrench your hand away from him, but he stands up winching a bit. 

“Okay, I’ll tell you but all I’m asking is that you remember what you just said.” You nod, now a bit scared because Jungkook looks so anxious. 

You wait for him on the couch while he changes into some pants. He comes out without a shirt on and you frown at all the bruises on his torso. There are some cuts too but they’re not very deep. Once again you see the white scars, you noticed that first time.

Jungkook stands sheepishly at the entrance to the hallway as if unsure whether to sit or run away. 

“Do you want coffee?” He asks hesitantly.

“ Jungkook stop stalling please,” You sigh, “Just come sit down.” You just want to know what is happening.

He sighs and walks slowly to sit on the couch, keeping the distance between you two, which you’re thankful for.

You sit in silence waiting for Jungkook to say something but he sits hunched over scratching at his cuticles and avoids looking at you. 

“Jungkook the longer you take the more my head is jumping to conclusions,” You break the silence trying to spur him on to speak.

“Yeah?” He still doesn't look at you. “Like what?” 

You stare at him. “I don’t know,” You throw up your hands, “ like that you’re a serial killer or something.” 

Jungkook chuckles humorlessly. “I’m not a serial killer Y/n.” 

“Then what can be so bad?” You question, leaning in closer to him, not seeing a way that something can be worse. 

Jungkook takes a deep breath in. “I’m in the mafia Y/n.” He glances at you waiting for your reaction. 

To his surprise you laugh. “Okay, sure Kook you’re in the mafia.” You watch him, waiting for him to laugh too and give up the joke but he just stares at you seriously. 

“O my god,” It takes a minute to sink in, “ that's how you know how to hide a body isn’t it?.” 

“ Well I don’t actually do the hiding bit.” He chuckles again still glancing at you nervously picking at his fingers. 

You just stare at him. Everything feels cold all of a sudden. “Then what bit do you do?”

But you don’t give him a chance to respond something dawning on you. “O my god, you’ve killed people before haven’t you?” 

Jungkook just looks away, his reaction all answer you need. 

You pull your legs further away from him, into your chest, moving as far away from him on the couch as possible.

 Jungkook, your Jungkook is in the mafia, is a murderer. You can’t wrap your head around how the sweet, bunny-smiling man you love is capable of any of that. The man who showers you with kisses in the morning to wake you up. The man that makes you pancakes and coffee before a test, that braids your hair after you shower.  You don’t know what to think or do. Should you run? Should you call the police? You just don’t know. All you do know is that you suddenly feel the need to be as far away from him as possible. For the first time ever you feel scared being in his presence. 

“Please don’t run away,” he asks you, his hand twitching as if to hold onto you but he retracts it, “Remember you promised.”

“Yeah I promised because I thought you were going to tell me you're a stripper or something, not that you're in the mafia.” You sound a bit hysterical, unsure of what to think or do, your head running a thousand miles an hour. 

Finally you decide. You stand up from the couch, and you can see the hurt written all over his face. 

You sigh. “I’m not running away, I just… I need a moment to think okay?” 

He just nods. “Do you want me to leave?” 

You shake your head  “No, I don’t know, maybe? I just don’t know anything right now okay.”  

You turn on your heels and walk to your room, leaving him on the couch. 

You close the door to your room and you sink to the floor. You have to process what you just heard. You finally found out the truth and now you wonder if your should have just been kept in the dark. Maybe it would have been easier. No, you decide it’s better that you know.

In some ways you feel stupid. All the late nights calls, him coming home with various injuries and vague explanations. Even the tip-toeing around what his actual job is. You feel like a fool for not at least expecting it to be a possibility. But how could you have it feels so unreal and yet it is the reality, no changing that.

 You just have to decide what to do now, so you go sit down at your desk, throwing all your notes on the floor and pulling out a clean piece of paper. You draw a line down the middle. A pros and cons list. 

You laugh humorlessly at yourself. You used to do this when you had to decide whether to join the debate team or decathlon team, not whether you should stay with your mafia boyfriend or not. Is he even your boyfriend anymore? Do you want him to be? 

You sit with the pen tip pushed on the page but you can’t write. Of course the cons are obvious. You stay with him and know that he is doing illegal things every day. You stay with him knowing you could be putting yourself in danger as well. But you can’t come to a conclusion even though the cons outweigh the pros. The only pro is that you love him.

You’re a logical person, you always have been, so it should be easy when you look at the list, but you just can’t get the sad look on his face out of your head. The way he didn’t want to tell you because he was so sure you would leave him. 

It’s happened before you realise. He wasn’t keeping this from you just because he didn’t want to tell you but because he didn’t want you to leave. You think of all the things he’s done for you, walking you home after class because it was getting dark. Taking you to see your sister’s game just because he knew you were sad to miss it. Taking care of you while you were sick. That man wasn’t someone malicious. So who is the real Jungkook then?  

You start to look at it differently. From a different angle the way your dad always told you to do when you were struggling with something. You don’t know the full story, you don’t know how he got sucked into this life. 

Finally you get up. If you’re going to make a decision you need to know everything. 

.

.

.

You knock on his door a few hours later. You can hear shuffling inside and finally it opens. Jungkook’s hair is disheveled as if he’s been tugging at it and his eyes are red like he’s been crying. Behind him you can see bags half packed. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, suddenly panicking that he is packing.

“You said you needed space so I thought I’d make everything easier for you and leave.” He says sniveling a little bit. 

“Jungkook I didn’t mean you have to move out I just needed some time that’s all.” Even now you have the urge to hug him to make him feel better. 

“Does that mean you want me to stay?” He asks hopefully. 

“It means I want to know everything.” He frowns in confusion. “I want to know what happened how this all happened.” 

He nods and step aside inviting you in. “Well then you better sit down it’s kind of a long story.” 

You enter his room, that just a few hours ago was the room you shared with him. How ironic that just his morning you were tangled up in his bed with him and now you’re sitting on it waiting to hear him tell you how he got into the mafia. 

He sits down next to you, still keeping space between you two as if too scared to sit near you. 

He sighs and racks his fingers through his hair. “I haven't told anybody this, the only people who knows are my Hyungs.” 

You frown. “ Wait so Jimin and Taehyung are also in this?” You can’t believe it. But he holds up his hand, stopping you from asking anymore questions, and even though your head is full of them, you keep quiet.

“I’ll get to that part but I guess I have to start at the beginning.” He sighs before looking at you. 

“My childhood wasn’t like yours, there were no picnics and movie nights or family dinners. My dad wasn’t a good person. He would beat me up daily. I remember him locking me in a closet because I was afraid of the dark when I was 5, saying that it will teach me a lesson.” You gasp not even being able to imagine what that must have been like. 

“He would punish me for the most basic things, and as I got older it only got worse.” He grimaces at the memories. 

“My mom on the other hand was the best. She tried to intervene even if it meant getting hurt herself. She would sneak me food when my dad refused to give me any, and every year on my birthday she would make me a small cake, just enough for me and her.”

 He smiles softly. “ She tried her best, always telling me stories of how we’ll escape and get a house near a river with wildflowers, and how she would bake me cookies and I can catch fireflies in the summer.” He sighs. “Of course that couldn’t happen, my dad kept her locked in the house and she had no money of her own but yet she tried so hard to find a way out.” He swallows hard. “ One night she came into my room and told me to pack a bag, that we were finally escaping.” His voice is almost a whisper at this point “We were so close, almost out through the small window in the basement when he caught us.” His voice breaks and you can’t help but put a hand over his. You asked for the whole story but now you wish you hadn’t, just so that he didn’t have to relive the memories. 

“He killed her.” He looks at you with teary eyes. “Right in front of me.” 

“O Jungkook.” But he just shakes his head wiping away the tears. 

“So it was just me and my dad and well you’ve seen the scars.” You immediately understand where those white scars you were wondering about came from and you have to stop yourself from hugging him. 

“I’m not telling you this to try and manipulate you into letting me stay, I just want to give you background information.” He says softly and you can't imagine why he would even think that you were considering him trusting you with this as manipulation. 

“So anyway,” he continues. “ My dad at some point got involved with some pretty bad people and one night they burst into the house, demanding him to pay what he owed them but of course he couldn't. He gambled it all away.” He takes a breath. “So they shot him. They didn’t know I was in the house so I climbed through a window to get away,” 

He chuckles lightly looking at you and it surprises you. “Let me tell you running away with a broken ankle isn’t easy.” You don’t know what to say startled by the way he laughs at this, so you just wait for him to continue, which he does. 

“ I lived on the street for a while, trying to get scraps from dumpsters behind restaurants you know that kind of thing.” He looks to you as if you know what he means but you don't. You’ve never had to live like that before and knowing that it was what he was used to for who knows how long makes your heart break. 

“That’s where Namjoon-hyung found me, I was 10 at the time, some guys were beating me up because I had wandered into their territory. He and the others intervened and after that he took me in.” He looks at you again. “I didn’t know what they were doing in the beginning, I was so skittish barely anyone could get near me, but eventually Jimin got through to me and  slowly I learned to trust them all. When I was 13, Namjoon-hyung  told me what they did. I was disgusted at first, but they had become my family. A real family, so how could I ever leave them.” 

“Did they force you into it then?” You ask when he pauses.

But Jungkook shakes his head. “No, they never forced me to do anything, but I wanted to train with them and one night I asked Jimin if I could tag along on a mission.” He looks to the side as if imagining it. 

“The mission was routine, just getting a shipment nothing serious, but on the way back we came across a man trying to pull a girl into an alley.” His face goes hard. “Jimin made everyone stop and we saved her. He told me after that we have a code.” He looks at you. “ We protect the people in our territory, that we may live in a world full of violence but we don’t have to let innocent people live in it too.” 

You nod your head trying to understand what he means and you think you do. 

He risks taking your hands into his. “Y/n I may be a bad person and I have done bad things but you have to know that I never acted with you, everything I did or said it was real, is real. Hell, I wasn’t even supposed to be living here anymore.” 

You frown. “What do you mean?” 

“When I came to live with you I just needed a place to hide for a few weeks, but this place became like a sanctuary to me away from all the violence, where I can just be myself, and after a while, I realised it wasn’t just the apartment it was you too.” He takes a deep breath and his eyes fill with tears. 

“I understand if you want me to leave and never want anything to do with me again, I can’t ask you to still love me but I can only make sure that you know that I truly love you.” He waits for you to speak and you know he is waiting for you to kick him out. 

“Jungkook, a rational person would kick you out right now,” A tear makes it way down his cheek, “Luckily I have never been a rationale person.” You pull him into a hug. 

“If we met differently yes maybe I would be running for the hills but Jungkook,” You pull away a bit, wiping the tears from his face, “I love you for the person you showed me you are and I believe that, that is the real you, and that the only thing you ever wanted was a family, and now that you found one you will fight for them no matter what.” 

Jungkook pushes his face into your neck and let’s out a sob. You place your hand on his back rubbing circles on it trying to soothe him as he lets it all out. You sit like that for what feels like hours, hugging and him just nuzzling into your neck even after he stopped crying.

“So I’m basically a mafia doctor then?” You joke trying to lighten the mood.  

He chuckles. “Yeah, everyone is jealous that I can just get patched up by you without doing it myself.” 

You frown. “Do you guys just, what ,patch yourselves up?” 

“We’ve learned how to do the basics so we help each other.” He sighs and plays with your fingers. “I was suppose to go to headquarters that night you helped me for the first time but I guess my brain just wanted safety.” 

You sigh. “ Well I mean I could help the others too if they want me…”

“No.” Jungkook interrupts you, and you look taken aback. “Not because I want to keep you to myself but I don’t want you anywhere near that part of my life, it’s too dangerous, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you in the first place even if some of the others said I should.” 

You frown. “ Who said you should?”

“Jimin and Hobi hyung.” He mumbles looking away.

“Not Tae?” You raise an eyebrow at the information.

Jungkook shakes his head. “No, he said it would be too unsafe, Jimin didn’t want to keep you in the dark and Hobi said you deserved to know the truth.”

You look down at your intertwined hands as a thought dawns on you. “Are you going to get in trouble for telling me?” 

Jungkook shakes his head . “No, the others were more indifferent than against it, so I should be fine.” He smiles lightly at you, placing his finger underneath your chin making you look at him. 

“I’m glad you didn’t run away, I don’t know how I would have broken it to the other two. They like you too much.” He jokes.

“Well I mean I guess I knew too much anyway so you would have had to drag me back.” You play along as he leans in closer.

“Yeah probably would have had to tie you up too.” He smiles and you roll your eyes.

The moment is broken however by Jungkook’s phone ringing. He looks at you solemnly as he answers. For the first time, your heart skips a beat when you see him seriously listening to what is said on the other side, now knowing what is happening. 

“You have to go?” You guess and he nods sadly. 

“I’m sorry, but it’s just a meeting okay no danger.” He tries to ease your worried look. You just nod and walk him to the front door. 

But before he leaves you pull him into a tight hug. “Just promise to come home okay?” You almost feel like crying, is this how women feel sending their husbands off to war? 

He pulls away and leans down so that you’re at eye level. “I may come home hurt,” He smiles lightly, “ but I will always come home, I promise.”  He kisses your forehead before leaving. His words not reassuring you at all. 

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“Why can’t you guys just tell me?” You plead with Jimin and Tae who are sprawled out on the couch, barely glancing at you standing in front of them with crossed arms. 

“Because Jungkook told us not to.” Jimin says lazily, not looking up from his phone. 

You’ve been trying to get them to tell you the best way to hide a body for the past 15 minutes. The joke with Jungkook turning into a real competition after you found out he actually does know the right answer. 

It’s been a few weeks since he confessed to you he’s in the mafia and you’ve gotten used to the idea now. You still worry about him but you’re more relaxed when he lets things slip about his other life. He still looks at you anxiously whenever he does slip up as if you are going to change your mind and run away at any moment, but you never do. You have to say after he told you a lot of things fell into place that you never really gave too much thought to, like the way he would smirk or smile at remarks you would make from time to time. Everything finally at least makes sense now.

Jimin and Taehyung acted like polar opposites to the news that you know the truth. Jimin seemed relieved before he started almost spilling everything about what they do before Jungkook had to drag him away by the back of the neck to make it very clear to him that he doesn’t want you to know any details about it. 

Taehyung on the other hand seemed angry and didn’t talk to you at first, glaring at Jimin whenever he would make a joke about their real lives. After a particular joke about who is best with a sniper, he stood up and dragged you to the hallway.

“Taehyung I know you’re angry that I know but…” You were cut off by his arms wrapping around you. 

“I’m not angry, I just didn’t want anything to change.” He admitted still hugging you. “I didn’t want to lose you as a friend.”

You pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. “Tae, I already made my choice, I’m not going to run away from you guys.” 

After that, he warmed up again, happy to know his fears weren’t going to become a reality. 

You did however have a small falling out with them when you learned how they kept getting into your apartment. 

You had found them playing video games when you got back from class one day and knowing that Jungkook wasn’t home at all that day you had stepped in front of them making them pause their game and demanded to know how they got in.

Jimin had blushed profusely as Tae admitted embarrassed that they have been picking the lock. You had blown up at that, scolding them about privacy and personal space and yes, how illegal it is. 

They had stared up at you like two naughty children the whole time. They tried to kiss-ass the entire day after that but you ignored them, and the chocolate and coffee they brought to you as an apology.

It wasn’t until later when Jungkook asked you what was wrong and you told him everything that he made you understand. To them, like Jungkook, the apartment is a place they don’t have to even think about their lives. In the mansion where they all live, apart from Jungkook, they always have to be reminded in some way or the other of the reality of their lives, but here they could just truly and fully relax. 

You felt bad so to make up for it you had something made for them. 

“A key?” Tae had asked confused holding it up and turning it around. 

“Yes a key,” You had sassed, “I’m sure you’re not very familiar with the concept but now you don’t have to pick my locks every time you want to hang out here.” You had explained and were immediately pulled into a group hug, sandwiched between the two of them.

Of course, you had laid down some ground rules eventually like texting you before coming over so that they didn’t catch you in your underwear… again. But for the most part, they came and went as they pleased, happy to be trusted by you. 

Which brings you back to the present, of them completely ignoring your wishes. 

“I thought we were friends.” You pout making them at least look at you. 

“No, don’t give us that face,” Taehyung physically puts his hand over his eyes. “We can’t tell you, we promised.” 

“But what’s a promise really Taetae?” You know you’re playing dirty but you’re willing to if it means you can best Jungkook in your little game. 

“Y/n what are you doing?” Jungkook’s voice comes from the front door, you didn’t even notice that it had opened. 

“Kookie she is trying to get us to tell her how to hide a body.” Jimin spills the beans immediately and you glare at him earning only a smirk in return. 

Jungkook gasps and walks to you. “Y/n that is cheating.” 

You sigh dramatically. “You never said that I couldn’t get any help.” 

“It is an obvious rule, besides they won’t tell you.” He glances at his friends lifting an eyebrow at them “Right guys?”  

They both just nod, their attention back to their phones. 

“Ughh that’s just unfair,” You whine and stomp your foot but smile none the less when Jungkook pulls you into his chest.

“No, that's the game and you should play fair.” he chuckles kissing the pout off your face. 

“Ewww guys.” Jimin complains, at the show of affection. 

“Hey, you're in my house.” You glare at him, kicking a pillow laying on the floor at him. 

He just shrugs, “fair point.” 

“That being said Y/n,” Taehyung pipes up, “What are we gonna eat?” He smiles a boxy smile at you. 

You turn to him, Jungkook hugging you from behind tucking his chin in the crook of your neck. 

“What am I your mother? Damn” You question rolling your eyes, “You can make your own food.”

“Baby we haven’t gone grocery shopping.” Jungkook whispers in your ear and you cringe as the other two laugh. 

“Well, then you can order your own takeout.” You say instead, earning more laughter. 

“Or better yet you can go get takeout for all of us.” Jungkook adds.

Jimin and Taehyung groan but gets up from the couch nonetheless. Grumbling about stupid friends, and third-wheeling they head out the door. 

“We’ll be back in like 20 minutes so just keep that in mind.” Jimin yells as Taehyung pulls him out the door. 

“20 minutes huh?” Jungkook whispers into your neck, “ we can do a lot in 20 minutes.” He lightly kisses your neck and you moan softly. 

“Are you trying to seduce me?” You giggle and you feel him smile against your skin. 

“That depends are you seducable?” He asks.

“No,” You lie,  stepping out of his hold, his arms still in the shape they were when you were in them. He looks shocked. “You’re just trying to get out of doing the dishes by using your …” You wave your hands randomly trying to come up with the right word, “charms.” 

“My charms?” He questions stepping forward holding you by your hips. “Well then do I charm you a lot?” He leans down to kiss you. 

“Yes, but not tonight,” You lean back away from his lips even though they are hard to resist. “I have no coffee cups left.”

He laughs loudly throwing his head back. “Okay, okay,” he relents and lets you go, moving past you but not before whispering in your ear. “But I’m having you all to myself tonight.” 

You feel a tingle travel down your spine and for a moment you regret your decision to make him do the dishes now, that is until you see the pile stacked in the sink and agree that you can wait until later tonight even if you have to kick Tae and Jimin out to be alone with him. 

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You wake up in Jungkook’s arms. His bare chest pressed against your back, his leg hooked over your hip. You smile softly as you feel his breath breeze over your neck, your gaze travelling from his arm that you’re using as a pillow to his hand. You place yours in his, playing with his fingers and running your fingertips over the callouses on his palm. 

You giggle as you're pulled closer into him by his other arm his lips now right by your ear. 

“What are you doing pretty girl?” He asks in his husky morning voice and you melt at the sound of it. You’re sure if you could you’d record it and put it as your ringtone. You’re also quite sure he wouldn’t mind. 

“I’m just thinking.” You reply, intertwining your fingers with his. 

“O yeah?” He asks, moving his lips down to your neck, not kissing just resting his lips against the skin. “What about?” 

You smile wide and turn around in his hold to face him. His eyes are hidden a bit by his hair falling into his face. He wraps both of his arms around you at the change in position. 

“I was thinking about how happy I am.” You tell him pushing his hair out of his face and revealing his relaxed eyes, the deep brown of them sparkling in the morning light. 

He smiles widely at your answer, “ And what makes you so happy?” He asks scrunching his nose.

You place your finger to your chin to show you’re thinking.  “Probably the thought of coffee.” You chuckle and he groans burrowing his face into the crook of your neck, knowing that this means he’ll have to let go of you. 

“No,” He tightens his grip on you. “I refuse, I think you should just stay right here.” His words whisper over your skin and feel goosebumps popping up in their wake. 

You pout. “That’s a bit selfish don’t you think?” You ask, pulling back so he has to look at you. 

He shrugs. “Then I’m selfish.” He says before nuzzling back into your neck. 

“Being selfish isn’t a good thing Kookie.” You giggle at him, running your fingers lovingly through his hair.

“I’m in the mafia I’m not supposed to be nice.” He mumbles into your neck and you laugh.

“But you’re suppose to be nice to me, because you love me.” You sing-song, making him laugh. His laugh reverberates through his chest and you can feel it vibrating against yours. 

“You’ve got me there.” He admits, and sighs. But he doesn’t release you like you thought he would. He grips you tighter and sits up with you still in his hold. 

“What are you doing?” You ask in surprise, before you let out a squeal as he stands up making you wrap your legs around him. 

“I’m getting you coffee in a selfish way.” He smiles down at you and moves you up higher by holding you by the back of your thighs. 

“You are such an idiot.” You laugh as he walks to the kitchen and without putting you down he turns on the brand new coffeemaker he got you. 

“Yeah but you love me anyway.” He replies, walking over to the cupboard and waits for you to pick out a cup. He smiles at your choice. It’s one of those cups that has a printed photo on it. The photo is of you two when you went to the arcade, in it Jungkook is pouting while you hug a huge plushie he won for you instead of him.  Jimin had taken the photo laughing his ass off at Jungkook’s expression. You had it printed on the mug as an accessory to the new coffeemaker much to Jungkook’s amusement. 

He finally puts you down on the counter as the coffeemaker pours the coffee into your mug. He stands in between your legs playing with his shirt that you’re wearing. 

“What’s the plans for today?” He asks you.

You tilt your head a bit. “ Well I have class,” You see his expression drop, “but, I think I’ll skip today.” You finish chuckling as his face lights up. 

“Really?” He asks grinning widely.

“Yeah,” You nod, “I think I like how this morning is going too much to tear myself away from it.” You shrug as you admit it.

He smirks and leans in. “I think I’m a bad influence on you.” 

“O you don’t have to think, you’re definitely a bad influence.” You laugh before meeting his lips half-way and pulling him closer with your legs to kiss him properly. His lips are soft against yours and you relish in the feeling of this domestic moment. Something you two don’t get to do enough. 

You pull away. “But I do have plans.” You tell him.

“And what are these plans hm?” He smiles softly, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. 

You smirk. “I’m going to kidnap you for the day.” 

He holds up his hands as if your going to put handcuffs on him, pressing his wrists together. “Then I’m your prisoner for the day.” You both laugh happily. 

You weren’t lying though you do have a surprise for him today so your excited to get going after your cuddle session on the couch while you drink your coffee. 

“I didn’t think you meant we would have to go outside.” Jungkook whines as you drag him into the shower. 

“You’re going to like it I promise,” you say while you wash his hair. 

“If I don’t then you have to make dinner tonight,” he bargains and you only shake your head laughing.

You're both finally ready, after getting side tracked many times with kisses and hugs as you got dressed. 

You hold hands as you walk down to the bus stop, making puns out of the different signs you see as you walk past. You finally get on the bus and you make up stories for the other people on it. 

“I promise he is going to dispose of a body look at the size of that bag.” You whisper, gesturing to the man in front who has a bag so big it takes up a whole seat next to him. 

Jungkook laughs and shakes his head. “ The girl behind him probably helped him kill the person.” He gestures to the person sitting behind the man.

You snort, “You mean the old woman who has a basket filled with flowers?” 

“Hey, you should have seen the look she gave me when we got on.” He justifies himself, staring at you while you laugh. 

“Why are you staring at me?” You ask, your laugh now only a chuckle.

“How can I not,” He wraps his arm around you and pulls you into him. “You’re just so god damn beautiful.” 

You blush and turn your face away from him , but he already saw your blush and when you glance at him he smiles at you satisfied at making you blush. 

You finally arrive at your stop and you pull Jungkook along down the street to your destination. 

He gasps when he sees where you brought him. 

You turn back to him smiling. “See I knew you’d love it.” You gloat.

The park is situated right by a river and the wildflowers are blooming in patches swaying softly in the breeze. The big trees cast shade over the green lush grass. You had remembered how he described what his mom told him so you had Google searched for hours to find the right place to bring him to.

You walk to a big tree close to the river and then demand the bag he has been carrying. You pull out a blanket and spread it onto the grass while Jungkook discovers the snacks you packed.  

You spend the day laying on the blanket, eating the snacks and ice cream from a stall nearby. You try to find shapes in the clouds, and every now and again have to tilt the other’s head to make them see it the way you are. 

“That is definitely not a rabbit Kook, that is obviously a duck.” You giggle from your spot on his lap as he keeps on insisting the cloud is a bunny. 

“Just tilt your head more to the left and close your eyes and then it is definitely a bunny.” Jungkook says and you laugh hard. 

You get an idea. “Here let me show you something.” You get up holding out your hand for him to take, he smiles and takes it happily. 

You pull him over to the patch of wildflowers closest to you, and bend down starting to pick some. “What are you doing?” He asks but follows your example all the same. 

“Just wait.” You say as you bring the bouquets back to your blanket. You sit down and pick out a few from different colours and start weaving them together. Jungkook just sits and watches you and when you finally hold up the finished flower crown he grins. 

“Here,” you lean over placing it onto his head. “Now you’re my prince.” You laugh and he giggles when you take a photo of him.

You spend a few minutes showing him how to make one of his own and soon you’re sporting his creation too. You grin into the camera as he takes photo after photo of you. It turns into a mini photoshoot as he smiles and directs you how to pose. 

Finally you sit leaning your head on his chest as you watch the sunset over the river. 

“Y/n?” He says softly and you hum letting him know that you’re listening. “Thank you.” 

His voice makes you remove your head from his shoulder looking at him. “It’s a pleasure Kook.” 

He shakes his head bringing his hand up to cup your cheek. “No, not just for today for everything,” he lightly kisses your forehead leaving his lips against your skin as he whispers, “I love you so much.” 

You grin at him. “I love you too. ”You whisper back. You sit like that for a moment until you hear him gasp.

You open your eyes and see the green flickers rising up from the ground. 

“Fireflies.” Jungkook whispers and you smile softly at him. 

You watch his eyes light up as they follow the little bugs. He turns to you with slighty glossy eyes. “You remembered?” He asks softly.

“I thought since she couldn’t take you some place like this I thought I would.” You say placing your hand over his. 

He stays quiet and for a second looking out at the river as the fireflies light op the night and you start to wonder if you overstepped. But then he looks at you with a huge smile. 

“She would have loved you.” He says a small tear escaping his eye and running down his cheek. You wipe it away with your thumb. You smile sadly at him, and he wraps his arm around you pulling you close to him as you both watch the little flickers dance across the water. The scent of the wildflowers entangling itself in the moment. 

You sit like that speaking softly, as if you were to speak normally it would break the moment, until it starts getting cold. So you pack up and with Jungkook’s jacket over your shoulders you make your way back onto the bus. 

The drive back is peaceful as you watch the scenery pass by the windows. He holds you close to him the entire time, talking about plans to go back to the park in a few weeks.

When you finally cross the threshold of your apartment, he pulls you into a soft hug and drag you to the couch for a movie. The movie plays softly while you two talk, talks about plans for the holidays that he wants to spend with your family, and if you’d like to meet his hyungs and spend new year with them. You talk about the future together like you never had before, long past the end of this year or even the years after that.

You lay with your head on his chest as you listen to his voice, and when you close your eyes you can see your whole life with Jungkook. Walking to him down an isle in a white dress, sitting and drinking coffee at little shops up and down the coast, travelling to different countries with him, and one day looking over a river on a porch somewhere with him by your side, grey haired and wrinkled faced. The thoughts of his job or the implications it may have on your future pushed away by the softness of the moment.

You smile as the last things you hear before you fall asleep is his whispered words. “I can see my  forever in your eyes Y/n.”

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You know you shouldn’t be walking home in the dark, but you didn’t want to trouble Jungkook. He’s on an important mission with Jimin and Yoongi apparently. The details you of course know nothing about, he never tells you anything of what they are doing. On some level, you guess it you’re glad you don’t have to hear it but on another, it makes you anxious to not know what is happening, and if he is in danger. 

You scoff, of course, he’s in danger. Every time he leaves for missions or meetings he’s in danger and it makes you lay awake unable to sleep until you feel him crawl into bed next to you. Only then when he pulls you closer can you finally fall asleep. 

Your phone vibrates and you pull it out of your pocket to check. You smile softly at your lockscreen the picture of him with his flower crown from that day at the park. You look at the text, it’s your mother reminding you of the games night tomorrow that you and Jungkook said you’ll attend. He confessed to you that he loves spending time with your family and although he doesn’t say it and you’ll never ask if it’s true, you know it’s because he never really had a family dynamic like yours.

 So even if Lilly goes overboard and bombards him with questions and your mother fusses over  him and makes him eat all the experimental food she made, or your father having long boring talks with him, he always smiles and when you look closely you see a sadness in his eyes when you have to leave. 

He’s told you multiple times that the members are his family and that they can all be themselves at home, and you believe him fully. You just think that he finds some normality in spending time with your family that he can’t always find with them. 

You reply your mom and put your phone away, you know you shouldn’t walk with it out, and it’s almost dead anyway. 

With your focus back on the streets you can’t help but feel the forever paranoia sinking in. You’ve gotten used to walking at night with Jungkook by your side, swinging your intertwined hands back and forth and talking to you about his hyungs and what they have been up to. He only tells you the domestic things of course, but you sometimes wonder about what their roles actually are in the mafia. You know they are all part of the inner circle and that Namjoon is the leader but other than that he keeps the information about that side of their lives secret.

You sigh. Your life really is strange, but to be honest as long as Jungkook is in it you don’t mind too much. Which is probably a stupid thing, him being a criminal should be the biggest red flag you have ever seen in a person but you know what lies beneath it all so you don’t mind too much being a stupid bull and running into it head on. 

You hear footsteps behind you and you sneakily look over your shoulder to see someone following you. No, they are just walking Y/n, not following, it’s okay not everyone is out to get you. 

You turn back to the front continuing on your journey home. Your apartment only a block away and you know a sticky note will be waiting for you with a sweet message probably adding to not get kidnapped or something. 

You smile, only to let it drop when you see a man lingering on the wall next to an alley. You still hear footsteps behind you too. You bite your lip and take a deep breath in deciding to cross the street instead just to be safe. 

Just as you step off the curb the man in front of you starts walking towards you. You look back and see the man behind you walking faster now. You throw caution into the wind and quickly walk to the other side of the street, your heart racing when you realise both men are following you. 

You decide fuck it and start running scared out of your wits now, you pull out your phone to call Jungkook, but just as you press the call button a van almost hits you as you cross the street. You stare into the headlights frozen and say sorry walking past quickly only for it to stop behind you. 

Before you can react the door opens and hands grab you, pulling you inside. You scream but a hand over your mouth stops the sound. The door sliding closed.

“Hey baby, I’m on my way home.” You hear Jungkook answer your call. You thrash and kick at the man holding you, the van is moving now and you’re forced to sit down. 

“Y/n?” Jungkook questions worry in his tone. 

You bite down hard at the hand over your mouth. The man gasps and lets go of your mouth, startled by your bite. 

“Jungkook help!” You scream before someone picks up the phone. 

“Y/n ?!” You hear Jungkook scream over the phone before the person holding it hangs up. 

You stare up as the phone’s light illuminates the person’s face and you feel a cold wave travel through your body. 

“Well hello Y/n” he smirks, “Fancy meeting you here.” 

You just stare at his face, Damion looking down at you. Before you feel a hard pain in your head and everything fades to black.

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You're woken up by a fist hitting your face. You groan in pain, trying to move away, but you feel your hands tied behind the chair you’re sitting on. The rope cuts into your wrists as you try to move.

You open your eyes, your blurry vision taking in your surroundings. You’re tied to a chair in the middle of an open space what you assume is a warehouse. The brick walls and concrete floor give it away. You see it’s staring to become light outside now, the sun almost rising. That means you’ve been missing for about 10 hours now.

“Welcome back Y/n.” You look up at Damion leaning on the wall in front of you. He slowly make his way over to you and kneels in front of you. 

“What do you want?”  You glare at him but you can see that he is aware of the panic sinking into your bones. You have no idea how you’re going to get out of this.

“I just want to have a chat,” he grips your bruised face and you flinch as he turns it to the side, inspecting the bruises and digging his fingers into them. “Just like the one I had with your little boyfriend when he called back. He was so worried.” Damion pouts and wipes at something on your forehead, his thumb coming back red from blood that must still be there from when they knocked you out. 

Judging by the pounding in your head you’re sure you have a concussion, if not you’re definitely on your way to one if they keep hitting you. 

“Jungkook will find me.” You say, certain of your words as you rip your face out of his grasp. 

“O no don’t fret, I’m counting on it.” Damion stands up walking a few feet back. “And what will he do when he sees you in this condition I wonder.” 

“What?” You question before someone hits you again. You taste blood in your mouth and you spit it out to the side. Damion comes back kneeling before you again but this time with a knife, he presses it against your cheek.

“You see Y/n, we, as in my organisation, have been looking for a way to get to Bangtan for a while now.” He trails the knife down to your collarbone. “And imagine my surprise when I found you, the little weakness to the most feared maknae.” he presses down on the knife cutting into your flesh and you scream as he drags it down. 

“You won’t be able to fight him off.” You say through the pain and he widen his eyes at you. 

“O we’re not planning to fight him off Y/n.” You frown at his words, but scream again as he cuts into your arm deeply, dragging the knife from your upper arm to your elbow. You can almost count the number of stitches you’ll need as the knife tears through your flesh.

“You see,” he smiles at you as if he didn’t just cut you, “we want to do something much worse.” 

He steps away wiping the blood off the knife with a cloth that one of the other men bring him. 

“And you little dove,” He bends down to be on your eye level, “are going to help us break him.” 

“I will never help you.” You spit out. 

He chuckles as one of the men brings something over. “I think you’ll change your mind about that.”

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Jungkook’s POV

His breathing is ragged as he slips past another guard. He feels the adrenaline pumping through his veins, his phone vibrating continuously as the others try to reach him. 

He can still hear your scream for help ringing in his ears, and the taunting words of Damion after that. 

How had he been so stupid? To let you out of his sight, no, how could he not have known one of their enemies were so close? 

Yoongi had raced home faster than ever after Jungkook told them what happened. Jimin’s face was hard as he spoke on the phone to Namjoon. Everyone met in the library. Jungkook knows he had screamed a lot especially when they weren’t working as fast as he wanted them to. All he could think about was the fact that you were alone with those men doing who knows what to you. You could be dead for all he knows. The thought still making tears bubble in his sinuses. No, you’re not he will find you and take you, wrap you up and make you some coffee and hope with everything in him that you won’t leave him after this. 

He runs past another hallway, flattening himself against a pillar as two men walk past going the other way. 

He came alone. He knows the others are following but he couldn’t wait so when Yoongi had finally found your location from your phone Jungkook had rushed out without thinking twice. He ignored the others or the rational part of him that kept whispering that this was too easy. It was too easy to find you, but he doesn’t give a shit as long as he can just find you and have you in his arms again. 

Even before you two were actually friends he had vowed to himself to keep you safe. His little roommate with her forever playing true crime videos and pens sticking out of her hair as she studies so hard. He always had a lower member follow you at night to make sure you got home safe. After you became closer he took over that role happily. You were so precious, so sweet how could he not have tried to keep you away from the bad things in the world, the girl who had patched him up when he came home half-dead, the girl that took him to see the fireflies, the girl that he loves. Even when he told you the truth he promised himself he will try to keep you as far away from everything bad surrounding him daily to, ironically,  avoid a situation like this.

He peeks around a corner to see two men guarding a door. He assumes that’s where you are. 

“She stopped screaming huh?” One of the men comments and Jungkook can feel anger like he’s never felt before rise up inside him. 

He sneaks closer using pillars and shadows as cover until he is close enough. He jumps out catching them by surprise because they both drop to the floor a few moments later, knocked out or dead he’s not sure and he doesn’t care right now.

He slowly opens the door, scanning all around before realising it is empty except for you tied to a chair, your head hanging forward. 

He rushes forward, you barely acknowledge his presence, only groaning lightly. He cuts the ropes holding your hands. The bruises are a deep purple around your wrists. He also takes note of the cuts on your arm and collarbone and it makes him sick. How could he have let this happen to you? 

“Hey baby,” Jungkook kneels before you, lifting your head up to look at you, he bares his teeth at the bruises covering your face, you flinch away from his touch before opening your eyes. Recognition swim in them as you fall forward into his shoulder. 

“O Jungkook.” You whisper into his neck.

“I know baby, but we have to get out of here okay, the others are on their way.” He says in a hushed voice, knowing that the sooner he gets you away the less violence you’ll have to see. And there will be violence, nobody touches you and gets away with it.

 He tries to get you to move but you don’t budge. 

“You have to leave.” You say softly, lifting your head up from his neck.

“What?” He frowns in confusion. “Y/n I’m not leaving you here.” 

“Please,” You beg, “You have to go.” You shove at him to try and make him move.

“Y/n…” Jungkook stares at the state you're in, trying to shove him away from you before you still. He sees your pleading eyes move from his, to look over his shoulder. He follows your gazeand is met with Damion and about a dozen men standing with him. 

“Welcome Jungkook.” Damion’s opens his arms wide, smiling. Jungkook moves infront of you to shield you. 

“You have me now, so let her go.” He growls out to the narcissistic man in front of him. He knows he can take them all, he’s done it before. There is a reason people are scared of him. He just wants to make sure you’re safe first.

“She can go,” Damion waves his hand and smiles. “But you want to do something first don’t you Y/n?” 

Jungkook frowns as you stand up behind him, you don’t look at him as you walk past him into Damion’s outstretched arms . 

Jungkook is frozen as he watch you walk away from him. He doesn’t even realise the two men that are grabbing onto him before they force him to his knees. His eyes don't leave your figure in the arms of the enemy. Why would you go to him so easily?

Damion hands you something and it takes him a second to realise it’s a gun. “Now just like I told you to do okay?” Damion says into your ear, his arm turning you around and Jungkook struggles at the sight of his hands on you. Damion smiles sinisterly at him from behind you.

You slowly walk to Jungkook, tears stream down your face and Jungkook frowns. What are you doing? He struggles to get to his feet, now that you have a gun he can use it to help him fight these men off. 

“Y/n?” He asks trying to have you explain to him what the fuck is happening, because he feels like he is going insane. 

“I’m sorry Jungkook.” You whimper, and Jungkook stops struggling as you slowly, as if in slow motion, raise the gun pointing it at his head. 

He stares at the barrel of the gun pointed at him and then at your face. You’re crying but there is a certain determination in them that he doesn’t understand. He can feel his heart breaking as he realise what is happening. 

You are betraying him. 

“Y/n why?” He asks his voice cracking, staring up at you. He is shocked, frozen in place. He knows he can fight back but it’s like all the fight has left him.  “ Please I love you.” He begs.

You bite your lip, wiping your tears away with your cut arm streaking your face with blood. You cock the gun, it trembles as it points at his head, but your face is void of emotion now.

“I love you too Jungkook.” You stare directly into his eyes, “ but sometimes, somethings matter more.” 

A/N Okay don’t kill me! I am planning a sequel so you can all stop screaming. I hope you did enjoy their little awkward strange love story. 

Please let me know your thoughts!

taglist: @scuzmunkie​

[bakerstreethound]

Rest my Darling | sherlock holmes

I may or may not be freaking out about the end of the semester which lead to me writing this plus I wasn't feeling the greatest either. Is it too much to ask for one extra week of break to rest more? Slight angst and hurt/comfort are present.

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound (Do NOT claim, repost, copy, or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03)

====================================

You sit on your bed quietly staring into space not acknowledging Sherlock when he sits on the bed and scoots closer to you.

The blissful abyss of nothing calls to you and your heart races, reeling on edge. Your mind races too with the things you know you need to accomplish but it's debilitating leading you to overthink.

You feel disappointed in yourself and choke back the tears cause you need to be better than this and suck it up and just fucking work it out. You know you can do this. You're better than this, your brain barks back at you, you can white knuckle through anything to accomplish a task so why's this anything different?

Sherlocks touch is like a shock to your skin when he intertwines his fingers with yours. Yet, you shake in the wake of it your heart hammering laced with sorrow and pain. You can't hide your slight tremors or your increasing pulse from him if you tried.

But how can you tell him what's happening? How can you let him know for the thousandth time that you're not worth it that you failed again?

It's rage, sorrow and violence seeping though your skin that drags you down making you feel more like the hollow shell of your former self. You can't take it anymore. Sometimes it's hard to tell who you are anymore, playing the parts, the facades you uphold between the small inner circle of friends you'd made through the years.

A gentle squeeze of your hand brings you back to the present, meeting Sherlock's questioning gaze.

"I'm here, tell me whats wrong," his voice cracks a fraction and that alone almost sends you over the edge. You hate the heartbreak in his eyes, the way he swallows thickly to keep himself grounded. You grip his hands tightly before pressing a kiss to one of his hands and shrug.

He doesn't let you go that easily, you know he could but he knows you better than anyone, even yourself at times. He wasn't known for being patient but by some miracle he is for you time after time.

You take a deep breath before responding. "I feel like a failure and have so much to do yet I can't be bothered to do it," you pause a minute before continuing, "and I think no matter how much I try I always have to push myself to the breaking point because if I don't I'll be failing myself and not meeting the deadlines my professors are asking me to meet."

You feel yourself gasping for air now, fighting back the ache in your throat that'll turn to the tears you fight away.

"I fear the upcoming weeks because I know they're going to be hell and I'm bracing for impact because it's like this almost every single time at the end of the semester. I'm overthinking, stillnstressing myself out. And, when I have time to do the work I need to I can't find the willpower to do it...it's like my body and mind have failed...and failed to get me through to the finish line." You're choking at this point, tears slipping away from you so far you can't brush them away fast enough.

He carefully pulls you closer and you gasp burying your face in his chest, falling apart and clinging to him tight. He's steady, he's present with you and he's not leaving, this you know for certain though your mind is weary and your shoulders slump.

He's here and he whispers to the silence that enfold you that he's not ever letting you go. For he made that vow long ago.

******

@bakerstreethound @lilythemadqueen @frostandflamesfanfic @feral-for-strange @starks-hero @lykaonimagines @sherlocks-blanket @aephereal @classickook @azu21 @strangelockd @sobeautifullyobsessed @french-vanilla-in-the-clouds @evelynrosestuff​ @starstruck-loner​

[paarthurnax59]

"Soul of Liberty"

chapter 3

 Warnings: swearing, angst, and hating on exes   

Dean packed a small bag for the next few days while traveling to New York city. He made sure to bring a suit, fake IDs and a copy of the invitation to the Gala. He needed to find a way to get passed security when he got there. Not to mention how expensive New York was and getting a motel was going to be pricier. But he was determined. Dean was determined to expose you for what you are in front of the whole world if he must. Then maybe you would be as miserable and alone as he was. The Avengers would dump you and forget about you and making sure the entire world would turn against you. It’s what you really deserved after all.

   He just got his stuff together and placed it all in the Impala when he saw Sam in the doorway to the garage with his arms folded. 

“What do you want, Sam?” Dean scowled at him closing the door to his baby.

“Dean, where are you going?” Sam asked not moving from his spot. 

“Going on a little vacation, Sammy. I need sometime away, and I don’t have a long time.” He replied 

“Dean, I know what you are doing. It’s written all over your face.” Sam looked at him giving him a puppy dog face when he’s trying to talk him out of something. “Dean, please just let it go. Let (Name) go and just live your life. Don’t let her get to you like this.” Sam trying to reason with his older brother who as stubborn as their own father. “Besides, if the Avengers find out what you are trying to do, they will tear you apart.”

“Not if I exposed her in front them and the whole world. Let’s see how loyal they’ll be when they find out how much a dirty, backstabbing whore she is.” Dean huffed with a smirk while Sam looked at him like he wasn’t even looking at his brother.

“Is that what you are trying to do? Ruin her life that she has now?”

“She ruined mine, Sam. Now I think it’s time I return the favor. I’m tired of hearing on the freaking news, from the people we interview and even other hunters of how freaking amazing she is and when I tell someone I used to be married to her, they laugh at me and say ‘Yeah, right keep on dreaming pal, none of us are that lucky!’ She’s defiantly out of your league!” Dean confessed to Sam and the younger man’s eyes grew wide. “and as for her powers and that freaky hair color of hers? You know how she got them? Because I have a very good idea.”

“And what idea is that dean?” Sam asked, starting to feel very tired about hearing his brother’s crazy ideas.

“She sold her soul to become a superhero, plus to make her so attractive that no man would be able to resist her, not even Captain America himself.” Sam’s eyes furrowed his eyebrows when his brother alleged his ex had done. “Yeah, pathetic right? That she needed to sell her own black soul to be something to someone, because she knows no one would love her for who and what she is. A fraud and a cheater. She wanted to remain relevant and be something that she isn’t and get men like Steve Rogers. Knowing well she couldn’t do better than me if she were still an unattractive nobody.”

“Dean, you don’t have any proof of that. And if she did, she is going to be biting the dust in ten years and being tortured in Hell.  She’s done for in a few years.” Sam retorted trying to stop his brother from making a huge mistake. “As for ruining your life, she’s only doing that because you are obsessing over her. She wasn’t the one that made her cheat on your girlfriend that you were so proud to have that you rubbed it in her face, that was you. (Name)’s got nothing to do with what is happening now. We haven’t even seen her sense that day at the restaurant all those years ago.” Sam continued to try to reason with his brother who mind seemed to be too warped to see sense. “And of course, people are not going to believe that you were married to her. To them you’re a nobody, but she is known superhero throughout the world.” Sam tried to talk but all Dean did was scowl at him, wondering why his brother is defending the slut that cheated on him with his soulless body. “Besides, have you seen her fight? We see her tearing robots apart and that sword she has?! It slices through metal! FREAKING METAL! God’s sakes! She will beat the living daylights out you if the Avengers don’t get a hold of you first! You’re a dead man if you even try this!”

“Why are you defending her so much? You remember what she did to me? To us? She tore us apart for months and didn’t have a good excuse for it.”  Dean spat out spitefully waving his arms around. 

“Dean, that was years ago. Just let it go.”

“Do you want to fuck her too?” Dean accused him making Sam’s eyes grow wide while he took a small gasp.

“Dean…you can’t be serious. Do you even hear yourself?” Sam answered shaking his head his brother.

“I mean, you already did, didn’t you? while I was still married to her?” Dean scowled at him stepping closer to Sam. 

“Dean, I was soulless! I didn’t know what I was doing! You knew that! I would have never slept with your wife if I was still me!” Sam reasonably defended himself, knowing Dean must understand that he would never hurt him like that intentionally.

“Then why are you defending her? She blamed you for the affair remember?! Tell me Sam, how long did you have a thing for my ex-wife, uh? When was I first met her or when he first started dating? Or was it after I tied-the-knot with her? When was it? I mean, I know for a fact you could do better Sam, but I have seen you with some nasty chicks before, like Ruby.” Dean stared at him leaving his brother in absolute state of disbelief. Had his brother hit a new low? Why had he gotten so dark all of a sudden? Did Dean really hate (Name) that much to want to risk everything that he had built? Sam was about to say about Dean’s ludicrous claims suddenly Castiel appeared next to Dean.

“Don’t do this, Dean. You are better than this. We all hate (Name) for what she did to you, but this is taking it too far. You need to stop, or things are going to get worse for you. You already lost your girlfriend, who was a good woman. You really think trying to ruin (Name)’s life is going to make you feel better? You think this will give you closure? You think you will be happy after this? Guess what, Dean? It won’t!” Castiel trying to help but Dean just sneered at him. 

“Yeah, it will. I’m not going to sit here and watch the bitch that betrayed me get everything because she saves the world a couple of times, while we saved the world more times long before the Avengers even existed. She doesn’t deserve it. Any of it.” Dean grumbled going to the front seat  if his car and almost got in when Castiel zapped in at his side and grabbed on to Dean’s shoulder. 

“Dean, I’m begging you. Don’t do this.” Castiel warned him one finally time, he wasn’t going to physically stop him. Dean shrugged him off and got in the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut. He turned baby on and opened the garage door to the open road and one his way to the east coast to settle the score with (Name). If he can’t be happy after the divorce, then neither should she. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

    Dean had arrived in New York in less than a day, nonstop trip with no rest or sleep. Only stopping for food or to go to the bathroom, not wanting to waste any time trying to get everything ready. When he checked into the motel in New Jersey, he spent days preparing for crashing the Gala to expose his disgusting ex in front of her new “friends”.  When the day finally arrived for the Gala, Dean donned on a security guard uniform and drove to the metropolitan Museum. Dean’s mouth gasped when he saw all the rich and powerful gathered to drink wine that costs more than what his baby was worth. He searched the crowd of the elegantly dressed people to see if he could get a good glimpse of (Name) anywhere.

“Where are you, you bitch?” Dean grunted as he took out his binoculars. He act as if it was a normal hunt going after a monster. Only instead of killing a monster, he was going to reveal one. The destroy the image that everyone perceived her to be and show the world of what she really was. He just had spot his target and get passed security. 

Then, he saw a black Mercedes pull up on to the red carpet of the MET and could see the famous Captain America get out of the car with the help of the chauffeur. He was wearing what looked like a designer black tuxedo with a bowtie. and then he saw her.

(Name) emerges out of the luxury car, and to say she was beautiful was an understatement. She looked like an absolute goddess. Her long white, hair was styled in elegant 40’s curls. Her make up done so exquisitely that it made her skin look completely flawless, like she was a model. And don’t get him started on the dress. The dress she wore was most defiantly a high-end designer gown with a dark shade of blue that was off the shoulders and an A-line skirt, like the evening sky. The dress probably cost more than what he and Sam would spend more on groceries for an entire year. She looked incredible and Dean hated it. 

    Dean then sees Captain America grab her hand and she smiled as he escorted her up the steps of the museum and to the party. The crowd clapped and applauded the pair, and she sheepishly waved her hand at the crowd as she grabbed onto Captain America’s arm nervously. He whispers something her ear and she giggled.  Dean can’t lie when he thought about how beautiful (Name)’s smile was. He imagines her laugh when he remembered the time they would laugh together.

  Dean suddenly had his blood boil once again watching his ex-wife, cozy up to the biggest heart throb in America. 

“Oh… feeling jealous now, are we Dean? I mean really don’t blame you either. She looks otherworldly. No wonder so many men are falling in love with her.”  Said the voice in his head while watching his beautiful ex. 

“Shut up! I am not jealous. I just think it’s disgusting that someone as awful as her is with a guy like him! He must not know about her shady past. Poor Bastard.” Dean said looking back to his binoculars again. “I’ll be doing the guy a favor by exposing her before they get super serious. She needs to be knocked down a peg and I’m the one person that do that.”

‘You know, for someone who claims to be over a cheating ex, you sure do like to obsess over her like an addict. Not everything is as it seems, Dean. You don’t know what happened to her during those five years since you have seen her and a lot can happen, Dean. She could have changed for the better.”

“Shut up will you! Look at her! Do you really think she has suffered?! she’s a world-famous superhero, drop-dead gorgeous and is dating captain pretty boy? Yeah, I think she’s doing pretty good for herself. Then again, she sold her soul for it, so no she doesn’t deserve it! Besides, do you think I care what she had been through?! After what she did to me?! Why does she deserve to be happy?! Why?!” he yelled back, not knowing why he was talking to these voices in his head.

"You would be surprised at what you find out, Dean. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you of what you may discover.” Said the voice again but Dean didn’t want to listen. He then zeroed in on his focus on (Name) and her date, wanting to puke. She cheated on him and she gets to be the arm candy to the Steve Rogers, Mister virtue and righteousness? Not on his watch.  He parks his car in a place where it would not be spotted by large crowd. Time to get to work.

[littlemisssquiggles]

So…about the THIRD episode of RWBY Volume 9…

Before I get into my usual thoughts on the episode, I just wish to say one thing first.

I knew the voice of the Curious Cat sounded awfully familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on who it could be until I saw the episode credits.

It's Robbie Daymond! For my fellow Persona 5 fans, freaking Goro Akechi is the Curious Cat in RWBY! Such a perfect casting!

Robbie's voice sounds so soothing as the Curious Cat. Of all the new characters to come outta V9, I was most excited to learn more about the Curious Cat and now that he’s finally here, I’m hoping his adventures with RWBY will lead them towards the Smoking Caterpillar in the Mushroom Forest next because THAT’s the episode I’m most looking forward to.

In the meantime, happy to have Robbie Daymond join the cast of RWBY for V9.

Regarding the rest of the episode itself---it seems there's another new mystery to be solved.

[SPOILERS AHEAD! NUFF SAID!]

Apparently there was formerly a Red King but something happened to him---he was axed by other humans like RWBY. Probably the ones we saw teased in the opening alongside Neo.

Speaking of Neo, it may seem like after falling into the Ever After, she’s coincidentally evolved her semblance again during her brief encounter with the Jabberwalker.

Now she's able to make clones of herself to do her bidding. 

The disposable pawn has now become the gang-leader, it may seem. Interesting development for Neo since admittedly, her whole gig of being somebody’s lackey has gotten stale over the past couple of the seasons.

One of my main complaints about the showrunners’ decision to bring Neo back into the story was how they basically recycled the same role she had in previous volumes but without any of the substance that made her great before.

What made Neo’s role as a henchwoman work before was her dynamic with Roman Torchwick. Neo was more than just his partner-in-crime. Roman cared for Neo and vice versa. Despite being recurring villains, it was the bond that Neo shared with Roman that made her character work, at least in my opinion.

So when she was brought back to be Cinder’s new lackey to replace Emerald and Mercury for V6-V8, it just never truly worked for this squiggle meister since it was evident from the jump that Cinder Fall couldn’t give two Nevermore shits about Neo. I hated the fact that of all the things the writers could’ve done for Neo’s return, making her the servant to one of the most heartless and irredeemable characters in the story (sorry Cinder stans) who you know would mistreat her and ultimately stab her in the back was not a good move.

Not like I’m a big Neopolitan stan---I just expected the CRWBY Writers to do more for her as a so-called fan-favourite as opposed to the same ole thing, y’know what I mean?

This is why V9 teasing Neo becoming her own boss for once in the story is intriguing to me.

Neo could very well become the Salem of the Ever After. Giving her newfound ability, what is stopping Neo from covering an entire acre of the Ever After in her semblance, transforming it into her very own kingdom or domain?

And if she’s currently able to make live copies of herself in the form of her clones then what’s stopping her from making her own gang of minions that she can transform into anything she desires and use to track down and hunt Ruby and her friends? I dunno about ya’ll but that sound pretty cool and more effective way to utilize a character like Neo.

Additionally, another thing that I’m inquisitive about is what Neo did to the poor Jabberwalker. I doubt she succeeded in killing it despite the mysterious creatures fearful cries. There’s a better likelihood that Neo merely captured the Jabberwalker and it’ll probably be the pawn in her nefarious schemes.

As we know from the end of V6, Neo is able to use her semblance to not only cloak herself in an illusion but also objects like how she was able to mask a Mistrali airship as an Atlesian one.

So I wonder if this is what will happen---

Neo will enslave the Jabberwalker and force it to do her bidding by using her semblance to transform it into something monstrous to go after Ruby. That’s one theory. Either that or she’ll just imprison the poor Jabberwalker and force it to provide her with worthy information about the Ever After.

Not like I think the Jabberwalker will be much of a talker---at least a helpful given the cryptically enigmatic way it speaks in small bouts of jibber-jab.  

As for the Jabberwalker itself. Once more, the very existence of this thing has very confused. What exactly is this thing? At first I pegged it to be a villainous creature but following today’s episode, my opinion has changed since the Walker doesn’t seem evil. Just lost. Desperate even to solve an unknown problem that seems to be impacting the Ever After that it can’t seem to comprehend.

In between its spurts of dialogue, the Walker mentioned something about fixing something?

In the V9 opening, there was a burning book that was featured with the Walker? I'm assuming the Jabberwalker is connected to that book and is trying to find a way to repair it for some reason?

But why though? Why is the book so important?

Is the book symbolic of the Ever After? Much like the fire destroying the book of the Ever After, is the Ever After falling apart?

Is the world of the Ever After doomed to disappear and the Jabberwalker is trying to fix it by finding any strange anomalies within its world that could be the source like RWBY and Neo hence why it confronted all of them?

...Or...perhaps it could turn out that there is a human identity to the Jabberwalker?

Like maybe the Walker is secretly a cursed Alyx who is trying to fix the problems she caused during her own adventures in the Ever After?

Exactly what is the meaning behind all of this?

Just when I think I was starting to understand this season’s plot, now, much like Team RWBY, I’m back where I originally started. Confused on what the hell is actually going on.

It would've made more sense if the Ever After was simply just a new world that RWBY discovered that lacked no similarities to the adventures of Alyx in the Ever After fable that they all know from their childhood…but that doesn’t seem to be the case? Or it is but not entirely. I dunno. This plot becomes more puzzling with each new episode.

Whether that’s a good thing or not, it’s still up for debate with me as I follow along.

The least I can say for now is that, at least, it’s interesting.

~LMS (2023)

[thevindicativevordan]

Why isn't Nightwing a bigger deal? He has all of Batman's skills and Superman's faith in humanity and is arguably the most beloved hero in the DCU, but most people seem to know him either as the leader of the N̶o̶t̶ ̶J̶L̶ Teen Ttians or just Robin.

Thank you for asking me about Nightwing, I've been wanting to write a piece about him for a while now. The short version is that everyone who claims Dick becoming Nightwing was him "moving out of Batman's shadow and becoming his own man" is completely wrong.

Dick Grayson is a fantastic character, someone who saved Bruce Wayne in-universe both by forcing Batman to grow up a bit, and the countless times he saved Batman's life as his partner whether as Robin or Nightwing. Dick saved Batman in the real world as well, hard to believe but Batman was actually in danger of being cancelled due to poor sales early on. Enter Robin, a young daredevil audience stand in the creators hoped would get kids interested in reading Batman. And it worked! Sales on Batman doubled once Robin showed up which is crazy to think about, but Dick Grayson has always been a popular character. Cartoons like Teen Titans, Batman: The Animated Series, and The Batman only helped grow his audience.

Character-wise, Dick Grayson really does fill a number of crucial roles in the DCU. For Batman, Dick is proof that Batman is a positive force. Meeting Batman helped change Dick for the better, helped him heal after his parents died. With Dick, Batman can take comfort in knowing that yes, he has made a difference in the world for at least one orphan boy, which is all he wanted when he lost his parents himself. To the wider DCU, Dick is a friendly face who convinces others that Batman is competent and not a complete asshole. He took this kid in, trained him to be one of the best heroes the DCU has seen, and did it all out of the kindness of his heart. That someone like Dick can confront the evils of Gotham and not break means there's still hope for that city. As Robin, Dick has led the Titans and is an icon in his own right as The Sidekick, the original, the one every other Robin is built around copying or contrasting. The one all other superhero sidekicks are drawing on as a basis. As Robin Dick Grayson is very much on Batman's level.

Just not as Nightwing. As Nightwing, Dick has been a second rate Daredevil which means he's a third rate Batman (fully prepared to get hate for this but I've read and enjoyed the Miller and Bendis DD runs so I feel entitled to my opinion). A typical Nightwing run tends to go like this: Moving to Bludhaven (which is Gotham... but WORSE!), Dick Grayson usually enrolls in a pointless job we don't care about in order to provide some meaningless soap opera drama that doesn't go anywhere. Patrolling the city as Nightwing, he fights a variety of bad guys who are usually rather lame and unthreatening, with his big bad being a Kingpin knockoff called Blockbuster. Villains are fought, long running plotlines are set up, then everything is abandoned because it's Batfamily event time, and Dick has to run back to Gotham in order to play sidekick again. Usually his involvement is completely superfluous and it would've been better if the writer had gotten to opt out. By the time we finally get back to Nightwing's solo plotlines, the audience has usually ceased to care and the run gets cut short.

That's how Nightwing has been since the New 52 at least. Anyone who thinks that's "becoming their own man" is out of their mind. Dick is so thoroughly in Batman's shadow that he got shot in the head and spent a longer time as "Ric" which everyone fucking hated and sold like shit, than he did as Agent Grayson which was extremely well-received. Reiterating: Ric went on longer than Grayson because of a fucking Batman plotpoint Tom King wanted where Bruce was sad and cut off from the Batfamily because of Dick getting shot. Not just calling out King either, how many times was Kyle Higgins Nightwing run derailed because of Scott Snyder's crossovers? Or how about that entire run getting dumped to the side because Johns wanted to out Dick during Forever Evil, a Justice League/Lex Luthor story? DC has repeatedly made their contempt for Nightwing clear, he's Batman's sidekick still in their eyes, and he serves whatever story role the Batman writer wants.

Hell his best stories tend to have been the ones where he's not Nightwing. He was Robin in a good chunk of the Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans run. Morrison really showcased his depth as a character when they wrote him as Batman, their time with Dick under the cowl was actually one of the first Batman runs I ever read, and no Nightwing run has ever matched it in terms of quality in my humble opinion. Scott Snyder's work with DickBats also was a high point for the character, showing Dick as competent and examining his relationship with Gotham and the Gordons. King and Seeley gave him one of the best comic runs with Grayson, a series where he wasn't even a "superhero" technically! When it comes to actual pre-New 52 Nightwing runs that are highly recommended where he *is* Nightwing, there's Chuck Dixon and uhhhhhhh... Tomasi's brief run before Dick became Batman? It's not exactly an overwhelming list.

Look there has been good work done with Nightwing, I'm not claiming there hasn't been. Tim Seeley wrote a great run with Nightwing Rebirth. Seeley fleshed out Dick's Rogues Gallery with cool new ones like Raptor, he brought back old foes like Dr. Hurt (why oh why couldn't you have brought back Flamingo too?), he gave Dick's world some character it solely needed. Bludhaven under Seeley is pretty much the only time I've really felt like it lived up to being Dick's city.

The problem with fictional cities is you have to put in the work to give them the character of real cities. You have to make the cities feel like characters in their own right. Gotham is the best example of this, it's a character all it's own, one that tells you a lot about Batman and his cast. In contrast Bludhaven is usually one of the worst. Any place that wants to claim to be worse than the city that is built over the gate to hell and gets wrecked every other month by the Arkham freaks has to really put in the work to compete. Simply put, Bludhaven typically fails utterly. There's nothing about it that makes you really buy it's worse than Gotham, I mean does anyone really think Nightwing's Rogues wouldn't get their lunches eaten by Batman's? No, no one genuinely buys that. When Bludhaven claims to be worse, it just comes across as tryhard, an attribute that does end up telling you about Nightwing in unintentional ways.

So Seeley didn't do that. Instead he created a city built for a hero like Dick Grayson. Someone who is bright and flashy, but does have an element of darkness to him. Someone who loves the spotlight, but often uses it to obscure. Seeley turned Bludhaven into Las Vegas, and that was the fucking best concept for Bludhaven I have ever seen, it makes so much sense. Las Vegas is the "Entertainment Capital of the World" and isn't that the perfect city for a hero who got their start working in the circus? Isn't the aesthetics of the gleaming casinos, the glamorous sex appeal of the performers, and the spectacle of the shows, all being used to cover up the seediness of mob bosses meeting backstage perfect for Nightwing? It's so utterly unlike New York City, yet Las Vegas is still dangerous, it's got a crime culture all it's own. Seeley used it to great effect, as did Humphries during his brief run, and I will always be pissed that DC didn't continue to use it. That should have stuck around and been the definitive look for Bludhaven.

How Seeley's take on Bludhaven was treated feels like a small scale version of how Nightwing in general gets treated. Whenever creators pitched ideas for him, if editorial thought there was potential to break big, they asked for those ideas to be repurposed for Batman instead. Anything big or good gets repurposed for Batman or tossed to the side so Nightwing can go back to his default: having irrelevant adventures in a city that is supposedly worse than Gotham but can't live up to it. Just like how Nightwing is supposedly better than Batman but never gets to show it. Goddamn it's so frustrating seeing his potential get wasted like that.

The Nightwing book should be one of DC's most ambitious books in terms of storytelling. You can go from traditional superhero stories, to romantic soap opera, to spy stories, to crime noir, to horror, to cosmic adventures, and ALL of them would fit because Nightwing is someone who has a foot in both Gotham and Metropolis. He's got friends everywhere on every team, and has been a hero longer than most Leaguers have at this point. No reason DC should still be afraid to let him loose and insisting on hewing close to what Dixon established almost over 30 years ago is only holding him back. At the very least get him some better Rogues, why the hell didn't he get to keep Professor Pyg? That's Dick's villain not Bruce's! Bullshit that they didn't let Dick keep him. Hopefully Flamingo comes back, with a slight revamp I think he'd make a great reoccurring Nightwing Rogue.

Luckily it does look somewhat like Nightwing fans have reason to be optimistic. While Taylor isn't to my taste, DC clearly views him as a "big" writer, and that they put him on Nightwing says a lot. Taylor has been selling well so far, so hopefully he gets to tell his story, hilarious that even he lampshaded having to write Dick running over to Gotham for another tie-in after Taylor's big opening arc was all about Dick committing himself and his money to Bludhaven. Scott Snyder is apparently working on a Black Label Nightwing book which will explore how he's a different detective than Bruce. The Gotham Knights video game has him as one of the main stars, and while Titans is... controversial, it's one of the most popular streaming shows and Dick is the main character. There's a lot of content coming that features him in the starring role, and that will only help his star rise further.

For the first time in, well, ever it feels like DC may be serious about elevating him. Time will tell if it pays off, but I for one choose to be optimistic that the 2020s will be a turning point for Dick Grayson where Nightwing becomes hugely popular in his own right. Not just as Batman's sidekick.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Be Very Afraid

This is the best story arc episode in season three and arguably the best written episode since The Great Tree, but it’s still season three so there are still issues with it. 

Summary: When Zhan Tiri tells Cassandra she must destroy Rapunzel in order to wield the Moonstone's true power, Cassandra discovers that she can create, with fear, red rock spikes that cause fear and freeze their victims. Varian discovers the red rocks and teams up with Rapunzel to use his amber solution on them. Meanwhile, Eugene and Lance decide to throw a talent show to distract everyone from their fears. 

Why Can’t Cassandra Control The Rocks?

The series never gives an actual explanation for this. She could control them just fine in Rapunzel’s Return, so what’s changed? 

There is No Destiny!

There’s no prophecy, no oracle, no grand design nor master of fate to fight back against; the characters literally have no reason to do what they do. If you want destiny to be a goal then you have to establish what that destiny is first. 

What does Cassandra want? How does this connect back to Gothel, Rapunzel, and the Moonstone? Why she just failing about like an idiot here? Did she not have a plan when she threw her life away for this stupid rock? 

And of course Zhan Tiri is lying here, but why should Cassandra believe her? What does she gain by listening to a creepy ghost girl? This ‘destiny’ has not been established, so therefore there’s no hook nor bait for Zhan Tiri to trap her with. 

Leading directly into “you should kill your bestie’ should logically put Cassandra off of Zhan Tiri’s advice for good because Zhan Tiri isn’t actually offering anything. Temptation requires the person to be, you know, tempted by what they want, but Cassandra doesn’t know what she wants so none of this makes sense. 

The writing is desperately trying to make Cass sympathetic here, but all it winds up doing is making her look like a moron instead. 

This Isn’t Consistent

Not only does this fail to explain why Cass could control the rocks previously but no longer can, but it’s also contradicted just a couple of episodes later with the incantation bullshit. 

You need an established magic system in place in order for the character’s actions to make sense show!

This Ultimately Goes Nowhere

Ignoring how Varian should have been in season two and how translating the scroll should have led to freeing his father, which we’ve talked about previously; this subplot should have had more impact on the narrative than it actually did. Yes, Varian’s translation winds up driving the plot of Cassandra’s Revenge, but 90% of that episode winds up being utterly pointless, including the incantations themselves, so.... 

I Like This Sequence; Shame It Winds Up Being Undermined Later  

Unlike the majority of dream sequences in this show, this nightmare has an actual point. It more firmly establishes Varian’s fears and gives the audience some insight into what happened to him back in season one. Something we were sorely lacking. It also becomes the core conflict and drive of Varian’s character development through out the episode. 

Only for the episode to ignore Varian’s real issues and fail to adequately address anything. By series end this plot point will be completely forgotten. The show acts like bringing it up once and then never acknowledging it ever again just magically revolves Varian’s character arc. It doesn’t.  

So How Come Quirin Isn’t Affected By the Rocks? 

He’s right there next to them and he shows no reaction to them at all. You’re telling me the man who lost his home twice to these things, almost died to them, and nearly lost his only child because of them, is just not going to respond to new creepy red ones popping up? 

Quirin would have a treasure trove of trauma to explore in his own right, that undoubtedly would connect back to Varian’s own issues, but we’re just going to ignore it and have Quirin off screen for the majority of the episode?

Are These New Character Models?

Are you shitting me!? 

They built five new models just for a short two minute scene, one where none of the new characters are named nor given lines, only to never appear ever again!

What the fuck? Why did you waste time and money on this? What happened to all of the other background characters you already built? Did a bunch of season one models just get lost or deleted or something? 

Also why are they all wearing green? Is it St. Paddy’s Day? 

This Plot Point Wasn’t Established Enough Beforehand

Look, I’ll buy that there are people in Corona who still blame Varian for what happened in season one and for the Sapoiran take over. I mean they’re only getting half the story and were directly effected by his actions whether or not he intended harm to them. But we needed to see more of it beyond just this one scene.

No one was bullying him in Lost Treasure or The King and Queen of Hearts, so for all purposes he appeared to be integrated back into society, and now you’re telling me he’s not and that Rapunzel risked his well being by forcing him to interact with people who were hostile to him back in Lost Treasure? 

And yeah you can’t really move Lost Treasure back any further than it already is cause that’d leave a giant hole in the wall of the throne room for over a year. Which also makes no sense either. 

Or hey, maybe it’s just Feldspar being an asshole. In which case why should Varian or the audience care? 

Eugene is Wasted

Look I understand that there’s only twenty five minutes to tell this story and that Eugene isn’t the focus of the episode. I also understand that the B-plot is meant to be comedic in order to relive tension from the A plot, but this wasn’t the best way to go about it. 

The B plot swings too far wide in the other direction that it dilutes the tension too much. The A plot now has to work over time to keep the urgency going. I could understand it, if the show wanted start off with small fears first, but it needed to ramp up the drama as it got closer to the climax, not under cut it. 

We never see Eugene freak out over anything other this this cowlick. In fact we never see him scared of anything else beyond this one scene, which undermines Rapunzel’s arc this episode as she’s suppose to be the only one bottling things in. What makes Eugene so special that he can keep a lid on it with out consequences, or are you telling me that a dumb cowlick is his only fear? 

Either answer is stupid. 

I Hope You Have Copies of the Map

You went through all that trouble to steal the journal for this very reason and now here you are prancing around without it like it’s not that big of deal. Way to undermined past story arcs. 

It’s like the writers know that season one was their most successful season, and therefore try to make callbacks to it whenever they can, to make up for ignoring it in season two completely, but they still don’t want to actually acknowledge anything that happened during that season so they just refer to it in the laziest way possible, rendering the previous events pointless. 

So Close and Yet So Far

I’m mainly posting this whole conversation so that you dear readers will have context for what I talk about next. 

For you see, this scene starts out okay and it looks like we’re finally going to address the elephant in the room regarding Rapunzel’s involvement in Varian’s past trauma, only for the scene to immediately side step the issue all together and not resolve the conflict at all. 

No! Don’t Interrupt; Listen! 

Or at least go all the way and accept some of the blame yourself. 

It may look like Rapunzel is comforting Varian here on a superficial level, but without her verballing acknowledging what she did wrong, this action just winds up taking the focus off of Varian and what he needs and places it upon Rapunzel, both narratively and physically.

So what happens is that, in universe, it comes across like she’s just consoling Varian for her own personal comfort rather than genuinely trying to help. 

Why Would Varian Ever Think This? 

Okay, first off this has nothing to do with what Varian was talking about previously. Why would he jump from discussing his trauma to praising Rapunzel? You know the woman who is responsible for said trauma? 

Secondly, this switches the focus of the conflict off of Varian’s specific trauma and makes it about a generic “over coming fear” lesson mixed with an out of place validation issue. Which is not what’s actually needed for his character development; nor for Rapunzel’s for that matter. 

Third, being the sundrop has nothing to do with Rapunzel as a person. Her being born with magical powers was an accident of fate, same as her being royalty. She’s not innately better than anybody else because of this and nobody has any narrative reason to assume otherwise. Especially since her powers are utterly disconnected from her actual personality, choices, and actions. All three of which have become unbearably unpleasant by the last season. 

Finally, Varian, of all people should be the last person on earth to ever think so highly of Rapunzel. Them being friends again is already pushing believability. Him suddenly kissing her ass the same as everyone else this season is just flat out bad writing.  

Varian knows better than anybody what an awful person Rapunzel is. He’s seen her at her worse. He’s seen her not live up to her hypocritical ideals. He knows the larger problems that steam from placing people in power on pedestals. As her former victim, Varian by all accounts should be the one person who can bring Rapunzel down to earth and poke holes into her ego, even while still being her friend. Especially while still being her friend. She needs that! Writing Varian as another blind Rapunzel stan is not only writing him out of character, but it also damages Rapunzel’s own development. 

Also Varian hates magic. Why would he now worship someone just for having magic? 

THIS AIN’T ABOUT YOU BITCH!!!

I literally yelled that at my tv screen when I first saw this scene. Those were my exact words upon the episode’s first airing. And believe it or not, I’m not one to usually scream obscenities at inanimate objects. 

I understand what the writers were trying to accomplish here. They wanted Rapunzel to ease the tension by saying something funny and to make Varian laugh to distract him from his woes; thereby defusing the situation. But it doesn’t work because of season three’s tendency to make Rapunzel the most egotistical, smug, self-centered, abusive, self-righteous twat in the show. 

It really boggles the mind just how unaware the writing is. Like, surely no one makes their protagonist this unlikable on accident. Clearly they meant for Rapunzel to be an ass on purpose right?  They wanted Cass to have a reason to hate her so they decided to make her insufferable to the viewer in a misguided attempt to make Cass more sympathetic? Right? 

Then where is the bloody comeuppance? 

I genuinely thought this was all going to lead somewhere. That Rapunzel was going to learn to be a better person and I would have been fine by that. I would have applauded the show if they had turned her into an asshole intentionally so that they could teach a mature and nuanced lesson about morality. 

But they didn’t, and here I am; still shaking my head in confusion over a year later. 

Seriously what the fuck happened behind the scenes to cause this? How can processionals paid by the largest animation company in the world be so incompetent? 

Having Trauma is Not the Same Thing as Having a Phobia  

This is where Varian’s arc falls apart. Not only does the episode fail to have Rapunzel acknowledge her past wrongs for a second time, but it also completely mishandles Varian’s trauma because it equates it to being an irrational fear. One that can be overcome through pure force of will at that, same as Lance and everyone else’s fears in the episode. 

Ok first off Varian’s fear isn’t irrational. He even just said so at the start of the conversation. Varian’s trauma is very real, it’s not a hypothetical unlike clown-spiders and cowlicks. Also has been given very little reassurance that it won't happen again. Varian has no reason to trust Rapunzel or anybody else in the show. They never owned up to abandoning him previously, and both he and the audience have little reason to believe that Rapunzel wouldn’t just neglect him again if it was convenient for her.   

Secondly one does not simply ‘overcome’ trauma. Oh you can deal with trauma, you can manage it and learn to live with it. But it never goes away. It doesn’t magically disappear just because you ‘faced it’. 

In fact confronting it head on is actually the opposite of what your suppose to do when going through something traumatic. Studies have shown that distracting your mind after a car crash or what have you actually helps with PTSD later on. And ‘dealing with it” doesn’t mean ignoring the problem out right, but rather learning how to function despite the pain. 

But as the show acts like Varian’s trauma never even existed after this episode. 

This Doesn’t Resolve Anything!

What does “being special” have to with fear? How does this help Varian with his trauma? Empty validation has nothing to with what we were just discussing. 

Everyone gets afraid. Everyone has trauma of some sort. Are you telling me that my need for therapy some 20 years after being physically assaulted is just because I’m not special enough? Fuck you show! 

Moreover, this doesn’t resolve the story arc from season one. Varian and Rapunzel’s conflict with each other has nothing to do with self esteem. It was about personal responsibility, conflicting needs, and abuse. Yes, self image and acceptance was a small factor in their motivations, but it was never the driving goal behind their decisions. 

This is yet another broken narrative promise to the audience. There’s no closure to be had from this and leaves the viewer wanting, if not outright frustrated. 

In order to justify this exchange fans have to ‘read between the lines’ and make shit up in order for any of this to make any sense. People who still defend season three do by doing all the heavy lifting that writers themselves should be doing. 

If it’s not on screen, it doesn’t count. 

If Rapunzel never apologizes on screen, then she never apologized. If Rapunzel never checked up on Varian on screen, then she neglected him outright. If Rapunzel never acknowledges her wrong doings on screen, then she’s never learned anything. The characters pretending like she has doesn’t make it so. 

Why Does Cassandra Even Want a Destiny? 

Yes, Zhan Tiri is lying, there is no destiny, but Zhan Tiri being a liar doesn’t absolve Cassandra of her own actions. 

Cassandra herself believes in destiny and is looking for her’s, but why? 

Why does she want a destiny? What is this destiny she’s after? Why does she believe such a thing exists? What does she believe it’ll gain her? Why is she willing to risk so much for such a vague goal? What does any of this have to do with the moonstone or her mother? How does this destiny connect back with her personal feud with Rapunzel? 

It’s all disjointed and confused. Nothing lines up. It’s like the writers just had this dart board full of ideas for Cassandra’s villain arc, but couldn’t decide on which one to go with, so they just threw darts randomly each episode and went with whatever stuck for any given scene.

“Oh she want’s revenge for her mother during this scene, or wait no, she’s actually looking for destiny this episode?” “What destiny?” “Who knows. Now for this scene we need her to be sad because reasons...” “What reason?” “I don't care, make something up... Uuuuh, she’s sad cause she’s not a royal guard still” “But she became a guard during season one.” “Ignore that. Kids won’t remember. Now she needs to be angry and threating here” “Why?” “Because it’ll look cool.” “But why is she angry?” “Cause it looks cool Bob! Geez! Oh but she still needs to be sympathetic so give her a frowny face afterwards. Just have Zhan Tiri remind her how much she hates Rapunzel later, so as to egg her on and keep her doing stupid shit?”  “But why does she hate Rapunzel?”  “Do I have to think of everything BOB!!!???”  

There, there’s my non-so-accurate behind the scene’s glimpse into the Tangled writer’s room when discussing Cassandra’s arc. I could be wrong. There could have been some intricate and complex plan thought out that just didn’t make it onto the screen for whatever reason, or maybe everyone involved was so far up their own ass that they just forgot to give their main villain an actual reason for being the villain. But regardless the over all effect is that Cassandra is handed the idiot ball for a whole freaken season in order to even have a conflict and that is never good writing; or rather she’s hit in the head with it repeatedly. 

This Actually Goes Against Zhan Tiri’s Plan

Zhan Tiri’s short term goal is to be released from her dimensional prison and apparently she needs Cass and Raps to fight into order to do this. This was never established before hand and goes against her disciples pervious plans, but whatever. One could argue that this is just a lie in order to get them to fight later... 

However, this lie jeopardizes her long term goal. She eventually wants to wield both the moonstone and the sundrop herself in order to destroy Corona, but Rapunzel is the sundrop and you can only take her power during an ellipse, supposedly, which means if Cass actually succeeds in killing Rapunzel before then, then Zhan Tiri is up a creek without a paddle. Also if Cassandra did manage to steal Raps’ power with or without an ellipse then Zhan Tiri would still be out of luck. 

This was wholly unnecessary; you didn’t have to go from zero to sixty in one fell swoop. Have Zhan Tiri claim that fighting Rapunzel will award the power to the winner or something. There’s no need to bring up the ‘kill her’ option. That should logically just drive Cassandra away and puts Zhan Tiri’s plan at risk. 

The series wants to act like Zhan Tiri is this master manipulator, a chess master like Zantos or Palpatine, but she couldn’t even tie their shoes. Her plans make no sense and often contradict one another. They only work because the rest of the cast are reduced to imbeciles in order for them to work. 

This Plot Point Contradicts Season Two

His fear of spiders was establish early on, and I’ll accept the clown thing as there’s nothing to contradict it, but Lance has preformed numerous times before now and has never show stage fright. He’s a huge ham and back in Return of Quaid he mentioned how much loved acting and preforming and apparently been on stage before, so where does this fear of singing in public come from? Heck he sung in public just a few episodes ago in Rapunzel’s Return. 

If you have to sacrifice established character into order to make your plot work then you need a new plot. 

This Song is Nice; It Just Needed to Be in a Different Episode 

I’m glad Lance got a solo. He deserved one and the song is good. However it breaks the tension of the climax and gives the episode tonal whiplash. 

More than a song, Lance needed an actual focus episode in season three. One that was fully his. If anyone else shared it with him it needed to be Red and Angry, not Varian and Cass. 

Just imagine if this song came during an episode where he had to watch the girls. Imagine if he was singing it just for them. How much more impactful would that have been? 

Now imagine that we had a Rapunzel and Varian duet in it’s place here. That would have tied the episode together better and helped to further their own stories. Glenn Slater can write lyrics far better than Chris can write dialogue. I bet you a thousand to one Tangled the Series would have solved like half of it’s problems had Menken and Slater been allowed write and actual apology duet between Raps and Varian. 

Such a duet was proposed during Rapunzel’s Return but it could have worked here too, and you could have placed Lance’s solo in Day of the Animals or something, just leave Rapunzel out of that episode all together. 

Nothing honestly needed to be cut music wise, yet for some reason season three has less songs than the other seasons, even when counting the reprises, and they’re mostly shorter too. 

That’s mismanagement right there. Plain and simple. Someone at the top didn’t know how to balance the budget or resources and didn’t know where to the throw the money at. 

You Have a 70 Foot Shield Made of Magic Hair, Rapunzel

You couldn’t think to just block those rocks instead?

Giving your protagonist a big hero moment doesn’t work if they placed the person the have to save in jeopardy to begin with show. 

I Do Not Care About Rapunzel Right Now, Show

Yes, she’s the main character. Yes, her feud with Cass is the main conflict of the season and kicked off the episode. That does not mean that I automatically care about her personal feelings at this moment in time. 

Rapunzel has kept such a tight lid on her real feelings for the whole episode that this just comes out of nowhere. I was never waiting with baited breath for her to confess her deep dark secrets or whatever. 

It’s not even an interesting reveal. It’s just “Oh, see Rapunzel’s human too. She’s gets scared just like everybody else.”. I already fucking knew that, thanks. And what she’s afraid of isn’t even that compelling either; it’s a just a rip off of the prophecy dreams she had back in season one. The same ones that had no explanation and never furthered the story, so why should I care about this one?  

You have to earn the audience’s investment in your conflict. The character’s likability, as little as that may be currently, will only carry you so far, you have to establish shit first.  

Varian’s conflict has been the focus of the entire episode so far, and it’s a conflict that was set all the way back in season one, so of course that is what I’m invested in seeing get resolved. Rapunzel is once again just butting in and making it all about her when it’s not actually her story. 

And if you wanted it to be her story then you should have made her the actual focus to begin with and had her learn something by the end of it. 

This is Poor Choice of Words, Writers 

I could be generous here and pass this off as Rapunzel not fully believing in this prophecy. After all Corona’s destruction is still a hypothetical at this point and Cassandra really has left already. Since the episode is about fear, Rapunzel is of course more afraid of losing Cassandra’s friendship as it’s real tangible possibility. 

More than a possibility even, Rapunzel’s been dumped. Season three is a classic break up story, right down to the poor plotting and tunnel vision, hence why it’s so gay baity. 

However, this reading only carries so far. For starters this is Rapunzel’s what, fourth prophecy dream so far? Haven’t the past three already came true, so why would she think this one wouldn’t? 

Secondly, all that good grace goes right out the window once it becomes clear that, yes, Cassandra is indeed a threat; a threat that Rapunzel refuses to take seriously because she cares more about her own personal validation than her kingdom. 

Even as Cassandra does succeed in destroying Corona, and no doubt harms other people while at it, Rapunzel still is obsessed with ‘winning Cassandra back’. Oh and make no mistake, this is not because she actually cares about Cassandra as a person and her needs or feelings. Nope. Rapunzel just doesn’t like being dumped. 

Why Does Varian Need to Shove His Feelings Aside for Rapunzel’s Bullshit?

Rapunzel’s ‘confession’ has fuck all to do with Varian’s current issues. They do not connect in any way.  

Varian is dealing with real trauma, trauma that she helped cause, while Rapunzel is only dealing with a hypothetical prophecy and one very shallow, self-centered fear. There’s nothing to relate to here. Neither for Varian himself nor the audience. 

Yet for some undefined reason this is what gets Varian to ignore his PTSD flashbacks? What? 

This is once again break the narrative promise. I was promised closure for Varian’s story arc and instead of that the writers just brush it up under the rug. 

From the outside looking in this doesn’t come across as Varian ‘overcoming’ his ‘fear’. It looks like an abuse victim using learned helplessness to placate his abusers.

And yes, for the last time Rapunzel is Varian’s abuser. 

NEGLECT IS ABUSE!!! 

And and even though he is no longer her ‘responsibility’, she is still neglecting him emotionally as his supposed friend. 

Varian’s and Cassandra’s Stories Undermined Each Other’s 

Varian stopped the rocks. Rapunzel had nothing to do with it. Zhan Tiri blaming Rapunzel for it steals agency away from both her and Cassandra. 

However, if Rapunzel had used the hurt incantation to stop the rocks and Cassandra had felt it rom the other side, then you’d have something to back up Zhan Tiri’s claim and an actual point of real conflict to carry the rest of the season. Not to mention an actual tangible goal for Cassandra to work towards, survival. 

Cassandra’s conflict with Rapunzel not only prevents the resolution to Varian’s arc from being satisfying, but Varian fulfilling his arc in turn winds up cutting off Cass’s story at the knees. 

It didn’t have to be this way. Varian’s and Cassandra’s arcs should have complimented each other, but instead the creator decided to make them complete for screen time and relevance. 

It is such an gratingly stupid and petty decision that winds up being a disservice for all the characters involved.   

Cassandra’s motivation and goal should have been revealed back in season two. Varian should have been the sole focus of Rapunzel’s Return and gotten his big hero moment there along; with an actual ending to his conflict with Rapunzel that didn’t feel so lopsided and half assed. Then Rapunzel and Cassandra could have both been held accountable for their conflict in season three, instead of pretending like their shit smelled of roses the whole damn time. 

Lance Got a Whole Crowd Cheering Him On For Singing a Song, Varian Just Gets One Asshole Giving Him a Single Line of Congratulations

Did I mention this show has an odd anti-Varian bias? Cause it does. For whatever reasons his own creators hate him and that’s just utterly baffling to me. Like why create a main character that you don’t like? 

I look down on professional writers who treat characters they didn’t create poorly within their works, like with James Gunn and Scrappy Doo in the Scooby Doo Movie, Adric in the Doctor Who spin offs, or even the treatment of Doofus in Ducktales 2017. I don't care how much a character is liked or disliked by fandom, that shit is just tasteless and often unfunny. But at least I understand where they are coming from when they do it. 

But I’ll never understand what compels a writer to sabotage their own work; one that they are getting paid to write no less. Especially when said character is super popular with their fans. And Chris knows this. He knows the ratings plummeted without Varian in season two. He knows the merch didn’t sell because there wasn’t enough Varian products. That’s why he hyped up Varian’s return a whole week before Season Three’s airing with a massive online campaign, but he wasn’t smart enough to treat the character decently afterwards? 

I mean congrats, you convinced a just enough viewers to come back to season three to keep the show on the air I guess, but you left them all pissed off and have nothing to show for it to the higher ups a Disney. 

And Chris wonders why he wasn’t asked back to work on new Disney princesses shows that are currently in the works. 

That is Not Quirin. That is a Plank of Wood Pretending to be Quirin.

*Beep* *Boop*...*Dad Bot Is Proud. exe* 

Quirin is such a pale shadow of his season one self that he might as well not exist. I genuinely don't know why the writers released from the amber so early if they weren’t actually going to use him until the season finale. 

For the longest time I honestly thought that Rapunzel sucked out his soul with that decay incantation; what with that lyric about “setting the spirit free”. I genuinely thought that would be a later plot point, but nope, it’s just bad writing

Him just saying hi to son once and smiling blankly isn’t compelling and it’s isn’t fulfilling. It doesn’t actually resolve his arc. I mean he’s at least shown spending time with his son, but that’s not enough. We need to see him acknowledge past, we need to see him acknowledge his own flaws, and we need to see him being more attentive when Varian is in need. .  

Season one Quirin would be trying to stop Varian from going near the red rocks, a post season one Quirin should logically go after his son to make sure he’s alright, even if he’s know longer trying to actively stop Varian like he once did. 

There’s also that damn note and it’s secrets! 

You know what? That’s it. That’s the problem. The focus is all wrong in season three. Episodes get pulled into to many directions trying to juggle too many characters rather than dedicating the needed time to each individual arc. 

Season two’s finale should have been a three parter with Cass’s full motivation and goal laid bare before leaving.

Rapunzel’s Return should have been solely about Rapunzel and Varian’s conflict and resolving that arc fully 

Either Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf or Day of the Animals should have been a Lance episode about him and the girl’s, no Rapunzel. 

And this episode should have been about Quirin and Varian resolving their issues, with the Rapunzel and Cass stuff as the B plot not the stupid talent show 

There, all fixed. You don't even have to cut much, just rework the focus and leave Rapunzel and Cassandra out of conflicts they have no business being in. 

This Does Not Excuse Rapunzel’s Later Negligence Regarding Cassandra

Just because the red rocks was an accident doesn’t mean Cassandra should get a free pass for all the awful things she does later. Rapunzel uses this one interaction to excuse everything else Cassandra does in season three, as if she was just some poor lost baby and not a grown ass woman out to kill them. 

In fact Cass showing hesitancy here actually makes her later actions even worse. This means that she fully acknowledges that what she’s about to do is wrong, but goes ahead and does anyway, even gleefully so at times. Then she has to gall to act baffled when people see her as a threat? 0.o 

When fans say Cass isn’t redeemable or shouldn’t be redeemed, it’s not because he actions are so much worse than everybody else’s (even though they are), It’s because she doesn’t act like she wants to be redeemed half the time. The show doesn’t properly set up her ‘redemption’, instead it just lazily has Rapunzel yell at us how she’s ‘not lost’. 

Like below for instance. 

What Does Cass Need Saving From?

Cassandra is not in danger. She is the danger. 

She made the conscious decision to leave taking a world endangering artifact with her, and she later makes the conscious decision to come back and be an asshole for no adequately defined reason. 

She’s never shown to be in any physical danger from the rocks, the moonstone, or even Zhan Tiri herself. She apparently can take care of herself in the wild for over a year. She also has the capability of getting a job else where and just living out her life if she wanted to. Nothing is forcing her to listen to Zhan Tiri. 

Heck, even her hurt arm, the one thing Rapunzel is responsible for and could potentially be a continued threat to Cass’s well being, is just completely forgotten about.

And no, mental illness and past trauma are not excuses as well. In fact it’s rather insulting to both people with mental heath problems and abusive survivors to suggest otherwise. We don't need ‘saving from ourselves’ and we aren’t automatically dangers to anybody. Nor do we get free passes if we hurt someone. A jerk who happens to have a mental illness is just a jerk who so happens to have a mental illness; coloration is not causation. 

Conclusion 

It’s better than Rapunzel’s Return, but this episode was still a disappointment. A small part of me whishes this was a two parter because it has so much untapped potential, but I know it’s just be wasted in Chris’s hands. 

Anyways, I consider this to be the true mid-season finale of S3. Not only did the hiatus kick in after this episode, but it also clearly divides the season between the first half filler and the later Cass conflict. As such the next entry will be the mid-season recap. See ya, then. 

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[hxseok-honee]

atlas heart || part 25

a/n : so sorry it took so long getting this update out !! i had a disgusting amount of work to do and i really was not doing anything else for a few days -- i really hope you like it!! pls lmk what you think about things now that jimin (and we) know everything! its gonna get,,,, i wanna say messy but messys not even enough to cover how messy its gonna get

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________________________________

Jimin can’t remember the last time he’d closed his eyes for more than a few minutes. Time goes by so fast these days that he’s partially convinced he’s been falling asleep and not realizing it. The hours between class and dinner every day are spent in the library, his headphones shoved into his ears haphazardly while he tunnel visions onto what’s been in the back of his mind since the beginning of the year.

Those spare hours had turned into days and days into weeks -- weekends where he doesn’t even glance at his phone, unaware of the growing concern of his friends. It’s almost May now, the chill of early spring having melted away around him without him realizing. His schoolwork stopped being a priority ages ago, and he knows his grades are really taking the hit for it. He vaguely remembers Namjoon confronting him one night some time ago -- a week? Two weeks ago? -- but he can’t for the life of him recall the contents of that conversation. Something about hating to play the ‘prefect card’, but having no choice. He doesn’t even know if he’s still on the quidditch team. It doesn’t matter -- nothing matters when seeing everything with the perspective he’s got now.

Practically buried in scrolls and books, Jimin could care less about the time and the fact that he’s very obviously breaking curfew right now -- the library’s been empty for hours now, and the light outside the window has well past faded into pitch black darkness. He had to hide from Pince around 10pm, barely managing to catch the click of the librarian’s heels through the music blasting in his headphones to keep him concentrated -- it’s a miracle that she hadn't caught him, really. He’d never be able to focus properly back in his room, not when he’s this close to putting the pieces together.

It’s there, right there, everything scattered in his brain. He knows it’s sitting right in front of him, he can feel himself trying to hyperfocus on anything that can blatantly tell him what he needs to know. Flipping through the pages of a book with one hand and shuffling through scrolls with his other, he glances down at a scrap of paper with his own handwriting, chicken-scratch on a ripped up piece of parchment for him to refer back to every few minutes. There, in black ink, the words ‘vampire’ and ‘veela’ are written and then, later, crossed out. There’s one below it -- ‘maledictus’ -- that remains uncrossed and haunts his every thought.

For the better half of the week, he’d spent his nights scouring the bookshelves for any text he could find on blood malediction -- there isn’t much to show for his efforts. Too rare a condition to have any extensive research done, he could barely manage to put together a few measly scrolls and one book with less than a full chapter on the subject. Sighing heavily, Jimin leans back in his chair, rubbing at his temples while he reconsiders the information for what feels like the hundredth time.

It fits the fact that she has a blood condition… but it’s not right. There’s no mention of a potion or even of regularly experiencing sickness. Y/n is in the Hospital Wing like once a month. There wouldn’t be anything Pomfrey or Hoseok could do to help her if she was a maledictus…

He considers that maybe those things are part of blood malediction and that there just isn’t enough documentation for him to verify it. But there’s something nagging at him, telling him this isn’t right. He thinks back over everything he knows, trying to pull up the major details that could help him finally get some sleep. Ignoring the fact that he very well could doze off, even with his loud ass music, he lets his eyes close so he can think. It takes a few minutes, but eventually he’s sitting up in his seat, eyes wide as he recalls something said to him almost months ago, forgotten amidst everything else on his mind.

“What’s the deal with your roommate, Tae?”

“Who, Stephen?”

“No, not fuckin’ Stephen -- Jungkook!”

“Well, how the hell was I supposed to know?”

“Because Stephen doesn’t look at me like I’m the bane of his existence.”

“Yeah… I don’t know what you did to make Jeon Jungkook hate you, but it must have be serious--”

“Just tell me what you know about him, Tae.”

“I mean… nothing crazy, really -- an only child, comes from old money. Probably as old as the Malfoys or the Potters. His family’s the purest of purebloods. And always Gryffindors, just like the Malfoys are always Slytherins. It’s kind of nuts, having a family history like that.”

Jimin stumbles out of his chair, already making his way down the aisles of bookshelves, almost crazed with concentration.

Purest of purebloods -- there’s not a single pureblood family that isn’t documented in a registry… registry… regis-- aha!

Turning down an aisle designated for family registries dating back centuries, he scans the shelves at a lightening speed, finally coming to a halt in front of a tome titled Gryffindor Legacies. Hauling it from the shelf, he doesn’t even bother returning to his table, taking a seat right there on the floor.

Flipping straight to the back to search for the family name, he locates it easily and heads to appropriate page. Searching the family tree down generations, it takes him several pages of flipping through Jungkook’s ancestors’ lives to finally get to his parents. They’re the most recent entry -- new editions of the book are printed with each new generation, the original, handwritten copy belonging to the respective families. It’s an inefficient system for sure, but Jimin’s not exactly complaining when he’s the one benefiting directly.

Scanning the page, from the birth of his mother -- Jeon Eunha -- to her school days, from her marriage to his father all the way to Jungkook’s birth. Jimin expects the next part to follow the same structure of his mother’s story, recounting his childhood, but it diverges from that almost immediately with some extra lines that he almost feels don’t exist in the original copy at the Jeon family residence.

Not long after the birth of their first and only child, they were met with circumstances leading to the adoption and care of another, the recently orphaned infant girl, Y/n Y/l/n. In her days at Hogwarts, young Eunha had become friends with a female Ravenclaw student, who had a noticeably sickly pallor about her at all times. She was to become her closest lifelong friend. The same night in which Y/l/n was to give birth to her first child, she and her husband met an untimely fate in the form of a violent animal attack in the backyard of their own home. The Jeon family were the first to arrive at the premises, deciding immediately to take in the infant child and raise her alongside their own son. Not much else is known about the girl, only that she and the Jeon heir were to become inseparable.

Jimin stares down at the page, unblinking. There’s a lot of information to process, but the things that stand out most to him are the fact that Y/n’s mother was also apparently afflicted with the same illness as Y/n, and --

‘Violent animal attack’? I knew the car accident thing was bullshit, but… did her mom not even die in childbirth? Why would she not tell me… there’s nothing suspicious about an animal atta--

Almost like his brain has started to short-circuit after the long nights and lack of sleep, Jimin’s thoughts are gone instantly, replaced by the mental image of a book sitting not a even a few aisles away, on a table littered with all of the information he’d ever needed in the first place. He’s completely incapable of registering anything around him as he races back to his table, his mind flipping incomprehensibly between the information in front of him and all of the pieces of his memories, details that make too much sense in this moment to match anything but this one conclusion.

Most Muggles, however, will die from the extent of their injuries… all known instances of Muggle attacks have been portrayed in the media as ‘animal attacks’ so as to preserve the secrecy of the wizarding world…

Given the extent of the available research and data, collected almost entirely from male subjects afflicted with lycanthropy, not much is known about the hereditary components related to a female werewolf. Therefore, it is unknown if a pregnant female werewolf's transformations would affect the ability to carry the pregnancy to term…

Without any humans nearby to attack, or other animals to occupy it, the werewolf will attack itself out of frustration…

“My mom died in childbirth and my dad… just a… just a freak accident you know, no one’s fault or anything…”

Because werewolves only pose a danger to humans, companionship with animals whilst transformed has been known to make the experience more bearable as the werewolf has no-one to harm and will be less willing to harm themselves…

“You want to talk about forbidden, Jeon? Let’s talk about your illegal animagus status-”

The way one must imbibe it is very unique among potions, in that a goblet full of wolfsbane potion must be taken each day for a week preceding the full moon…

“…you know how long it takes me to make a full set of vials for you. I barely have enough to make it last 3 days…”

The monthly transformation of a werewolf is extremely painful if untreated and is usually preceded and succeeded by a few days of pallor and ill health…

“He was lowkey carrying her down the stairs… she looked kinda sick actually…”

Throwing scrolls behind him without care as he searches for the one with the final detail, he pulls his phone out when he finds it -- a book listing all of the recorded moon cycles for over a century. Jamming his thumb down on the icon that’ll take him to his search engine and typing with blind panic, he finds himself yanking out his headphones by the cord with one sharp tug when the answer flashes back at it him on the screen, and he realizes that almost all of the pieces are in place.

The quidditch match against Slytherin -- it was the night before a full moon.

“No, no… no, no, no, this can’t be right. This isn’t happening, this can’t be right, she can’t be--” Jimin remembers the text he’d sent to her almost 8 hours ago, sitting unanswered, and he moves without thinking. Slamming his hands down on either side of the moon cycle record, he flips frantically to the cycle for this current month, April of 1978. What he sees there has his heart dropping out of his chest.

“Next week? It’s next week? But that means she’d have to be feeling the effects of it this wee--” He’s cut off by the feeling of his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he reaches for it almost desperately. It’s Y/n, finally responding to his concerned texts with nothing more than a single line. His blood turns to ice when he reads it.

I’m fine, just feeling under the weather.

--

When Jimin bursts through the door of Dumbledore’s office just past 3am, the headmaster’s already seated at his desk, evidently waiting for him. He’s donning a light blue robe with a matching sleeping cap perched delicately on his head, suggesting to Jimin that he’d somehow woken up knowing he was soon to greet a guest. All of the panic invading Jimin’s body is masked just slightly by guilt, only now realizing how late it is and how intrusive he must seem in this moment.

“Mister Park, you certainly are out quite a bit past curfew, no?” Jimin stands in the doorway cradling all of the scrolls and books he’d been hoarding the last few weeks -- he can’t very well have left a huge pile of evidence back in the library. It would have taken no time at all for someone to look through it and see there were connections everywhere to lycanthropy, even if he himself had been blind to it for so long.

“... Park? Mister Park?” Jimin jumps, lifting his tired eyes to meet Dumbledore’s concerned ones. The man continues once he’s got Jimin’s attention. “Surely, you must need something from me, or you wouldn’t appear so…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. He doesn’t need to. Jimin’s aware of the state he’s in -- the dark rings under his eyes, his ruffled clothes and hair, the way he’s holding his books like he needs to protect them with his life. He looks unhinged. He feels unhinged.

Realizing he has absolutely no idea how to approach the subject of a potential werewolf at Hogwarts with the school’s very headmaster, Jimin decides to start by moving toward the chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk.

Maybe I just need to sit down and take a deep breath. That should help--

He doesn’t even make it two steps before one of the many books he’s holding crashes to the floor between them, falling open to the page he’d stuck a pencil in to save his spot. The moon cycle for April of 1978 stares back up at him, and when he flicks his gaze up to peer at Dumbledore, he sees the headmaster’s expression has hardened with caution.

“Professor--”

“Have a seat, Mister Park.” Jimin’s heart lodges in his throat at Dumbledore’s tone, never having heard such a sharp edge to the kind man’s voice. He moves to the chair, setting the obnoxious amount of research haphazardly in his lap. His eyes will only go so far as the top of Dumbledore’s desk, unable to bring himself to meet the man’s eyes.

“Sir, I… need to ask you something.” When he isn’t granted a response, he swallows hard, pushing forward. “If there were to be a student at Hogwarts with a… peculiarity of sorts… how would you go about dealing with that?”

“How would I deal with what, Mister Park?”

“That student.”

“I’m not quite sure I know what you mean.” Jimin lifts his eyes then, confused, but he’s met with a deliberately ignorant smile.

“Sir?” Dumbledore’s smile, albeit strained, only widens.

“I think you may be suffering from a lack of sleep, Mister Park. There are no students at Hogwarts with any peculiarities, as you call it.” Jimin stares suspiciously up at him, knowing Dumbledore can tell that Jimin doesn’t for a second believe that claim. Breaking eye contact, he glances down at his lap, trying to figure out how to keep this conversation going. Trying to figure out why he’s even here.

Jimin looks down at himself and the pile of incriminating evidence, cursing his idiocy when he realizes just how bad this situation must look. A student out of bed way past curfew, barging into the headmaster’s office holding weeks of research and making outrageous claims about a potentially dangerous student. And he’s a Ravenclaw no less.

Shit. He probably thought I was some nosy little fucker trying to expose her and get her expelled.

Knowing that he’s risking a lot by being straightforward, he takes a single deep breath and meets Dumbledore’s eyes, his own filled with determination.

“Sir, I know about Y/n Y/l/n, and I know you do, too. I need to know how to take care of her. I need to know how to help her. I need you to tell me what to do because, to be honest with you, I’m freaking out.” The way Dumbledore’s examining him as he speaks tells Jimin that he’s right, but more importantly, it tells Jimin that Dumbledore hadn’t been expecting him to want to help.

“That is a very serious accusation you’re making, Mister Park, especially in this political climate. Very serious.” Jimin doesn’t waver when he responds.

“I know, sir. That’s why you’re the only one I’ve made it to. Because I need your help. Because I know you can help.” Dumbledore narrows his eyes, peering at Jimin over the tops of his half-moon spectacles.

“Have you considered the fact that just you knowing this information at all has placed Miss Y/l/n in more danger than she’s already in?” As soon as the words leave Dumbledore’s mouth, Jimin’s heart is stopping in his chest. All the times that Hoseok and Jungkook had told him to mind his business come rushing back, and he feels himself becoming sick to his stomach. Of course it’s more dangerous for her now that he knows -- he’d been too selfish to even think it through, too nosy for his own good. He had done all this to try to understand her, to try to be a better friend who can help when she needs it, but it’s all bullshit. Everything he thought he had done for her sake had actually been for his. For him and his stupid curiosity.

Lifting his head as a thought comes to mind, Jimin doesn’t even think twice before speaking.

“Can you erase my memories?” The headmaster’s eyebrows fly to his hairline, his expression becoming amused as Jimin continues rambling. “Can’t you obliviate me or something? Wouldn’t that be the best way for me to help her? Wait… but do you have to erase everything I know about her -- will I still know her? Can you make sure I still know her? I really like her! I don’t like Hoseok or Jungkook very much -- they kind of scare me -- but I like her! I don’t want to forget her, but also if me knowing that she’s a werewolf is only going to cause her more trouble, then I really think you should make me forget--” Dumbledore lifts his hand calmly, effectively silencing a frantic Jimin.

“Have you always had such a one-track mind, Mister Park?” Jimin smiles weakly, offering a half-joking response.

“It’s my only redeeming Ravenclaw quality…” Dumbledore chuckles before scratching at his forehead with a heavy sigh.

“Unfortunately -- and I do truly mean that -- I cannot erase a student’s memories. So, you and I will need to continue this difficult conversation.” Jimin considers the man’s words, knowing that it really would be better for everyone if he had his mind wiped clean and hating that he’d unknowingly put Y/n even more in harm’s way. He looks up when Dumbledore sighs again.

“Mister Park, you do understand that you are strictly forbidden from informing anyone else of this situation, yes?” When Jimin nods immediately, opening his mouth to assure the man that he wouldn’t say a word, Dumbledore only shakes his head. “No, Mister Park, I’m not sure you really understand. This situation is infinitely more complicated than you could ever imagine, so it is absolutely imperative that you keep this information to yourself.” Jimin blinks, unsure what’s meant by ‘infinitely more complicated’, but he nods again.

“I’ve put her in enough danger just by being here, Sir -- I’m not breathing a word of this to anyone.” Dumbledore examines him a moment longer, essentially staring into Jimin’s soul to gauge his trustworthiness. Eventually he nods, leaning back in his chair.

“What advice would you like me to give you, Mister Park?” Jimin stays silent, thinking hard about any way that he can make Y/n’s life easier, especially after all the trouble he’s caused up to now. His mind flashes back to the conversation he’d overheard in the library. He opens his mouth slowly, choosing his words with care.

“Sir… how does a student that isn’t even taking Potions know how to brew the wolfsbane potion? Isn’t it nearly impossible?” Jimin sees Dumbledore’s eyes flicker with recognition, and the headmaster responds cautiously.

“…If that student isn’t taking any kind of Potions course at all, they’d need to already be an expert from having dedicated all their studies to the art of potionmaking. They would also need an immense amount of private mentoring, even if they are taking Potions. We do not teach the wolfsbane potion in the curriculum. As I’m sure you can imagine, it wouldn’t fare well in these times…” Jimin squints, putting the pieces together quickly in his mind.

“And where would a student like that find this kind of… private mentoring?” The headmaster hums at Jimin’s question, peering down at him with knowing eyes.

“Well, Mister Park, if you wish to receive mentoring on much… safer forms of potionmaking, I’m sure Professor Slughorn would be happy to help you. However, if you are asking me about Mister Jung Hoseok of Slytherin House, and if you are wondering just how he became capable of caring for Miss Y/l/n at the young age of 13, well… you’re looking at his mentor.”

--

When Jimin leaves Dumbledore’s office almost an hour later, he feels like his head is going to explode. The nights of sleeplessness seem to also have come rushing back to him at once, and he’s not sure if he’s going to collapse first from the exhaustion or from the weight of everything he knows now. For a moment, he considers that maybe he really should ask someone to erase his memories -- Jungkook or Hoseok, perhaps.

Yeah, I’m sure they’d absolutely love to do me that favor.

Dragging his feet as he trudges down the corridor in the direction of Ravenclaw tower, Jimin stops short at a window when movement down by the Black Lake catches his eye. Almost as if thinking about them has caused them to materialize before him, Jimin watches the silhouette of Jung Hoseok stroll casually down by the shoreline, followed not long after by Jeon Jungkook racing toward him, a body perched precariously on his back. It’s not hard to see that Y/n’s clinging weakly to him as he runs, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he keeps his hands hooked under her knees. Jimin can see that she’s got a gown on from the Hospital Wing, and it’s obvious that Jungkook and Hoseok have snuck her out from under Madam Pomfrey’s stern supervision.

They head for the Forbidden Forest, Y/n reaching back for Hoseok when Jungkook passes him. She beckons him forward, and Jimin watches as the three of them disappear together into the trees. He sighs deeply when he can no longer see them, muttering to himself under his breath as he makes his way to his room, overcome with extreme guilt at the entire situation.

“You’ve really gone and done it now, you fucking idiot.”

[thebeautyoffanfics]

Hi!!! I'm not a fan of x readers that are romantic, but could you maybe do headcanons for Hanako, Kou, and Mitsuba with a close friend who has mental illness that gives them emotional control issues and is often alienated and treated like an insane freak by their classmates because of having outbursts/meltdowns/screaming fits/panic attacks in class and is currently crying on the ground clawing at their face and calling themself a monster after a particularly bad one of these incidents?? If that sounds concerning specific, erm..... I'm fine, don't worry.

(platonic) hanako and gn!reader, kou minamoto and gn!reader, mitsuba sousuke and gn!reader

a/n: of course!! I know you said not to worry, but I do hope you’re doing alright <3!!! Thank you so much for requesting!! (i also feel the need to say, this is my first mitsuba request,,, i love him so much, so i'm not complaining- i just realized it and was like "huh. wonder why i haven't gotten one before")

warnings: self harm, panic attacks, self hatred (is that what I’d put it as,,? I’m not sure-)

word count: collectively, 1,355

Hanako ☆

Hanako considered himself lucky that he was sitting alongside your class that day. He probably sat behind you, not even paying attention to the lesson- just enjoying trying to replicate the feeling of being alive. Should you start to panic a bit, he’ll pick up on it, sitting up and giving you a concerned glance.

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?”

You gave him some sort of response, earning glances from your classmates that definitely didn’t help the situation. No matter how harshly Hanako glared at their stares, the others couldn’t see him silently telling them to mind their business. 

“(Y/N)-”

“I’M FINE-”

Hanako felt bad for pestering, watching the reactions from your classmates grow even more negatively. Several murmurs, as your teacher asked if you needed to excuse yourself. Once you got up, Hanako followed you into the hallway, watching as you slumped to the ground and began to cry. 

Hanako was already in “protect my friend at all costs” mode, but seeing you like that only made his worry heighten, as he sat in front of you. He’d make sure that you knew he was in front of you by gently saying your name, or even just greeting you. He didn’t want to send you any further into panic with loud noises, so he was really trying to be as caring as he could.

He noticed you bringing your hands to your face as you began to speak, and felt himself freeze up a bit. After a moment of processing your actions, he grabbed your hands, holding them carefully as you called yourself a monster. He knew personally what it was like to hate yourself, hate your actions like that- the moment those words left your mouth, his heart felt like it was stabbed.

“You’re not a monster, (Y/N).” Hanako told you. Despite telling you it firmly, the care and concern was laced in his voice. Even if you continued to call yourself a monster, trying to free your hands from his grip, he wouldn’t give in. Deep down he was aware that restraining you like that probably wasn’t the best option, but all he knew was that he didn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Hanako would sit there with you as long as you needed. Any time a negative word left your mouth, he’d correct you- even when you began to calm down, he’d continue telling you that you weren’t a monster. You couldn’t help the hand you’d been dealt in life. You weren’t the one at fault. He cares for you deeply. You’re an amazing friend. Even as a ghost, just having you around made his lifeless heart feel warm.

Kou Minamoto ☆

I feel like Kou is very perceptive of others, all while being the least judgmental person you may have met in your life. Once he noticed you growing anxious, he felt himself growing anxious- he’d glance at you, trying to get your attention so that he could ask if you were alright. It probably didn’t work, and things soon escalated.

In a matter of minutes, you were rushing outside the class, leaving the rest of your classmates muttering and giving each other glances. Kou felt himself growing annoyed at the comments, and he quickly stood up, excusing himself to the teacher before shouting at his classmates to leave you alone. He then would also walk into the hall, and nervously rush to find you. 

Once he spotted you on the ground, he’d feel a bit relieved that he didn’t have to search too hard. However, once he noticed your hands clawing at your face, as you called yourself a monster, his heart rate went up once again. Kou would quickly go over to you, sitting in front of you and pulling your hands from your face.

In times like these, you can’t convince me that Kou doesn’t try and copy what Teru would do- he looks up to his brother so much, and assumes that whatever Teru would do must be the right thing. That being said, he’ll gently hold your hands, his face as gentle as ever, but still serious. He’s instantly ready to listen to whatever you have to say and to encourage his friend.

Once you muttered the word monster again, Kou would interrupt you, saying that you weren’t a monster. “You’re an amazing friend, and person, (Y/N). You aren’t a monster.”

Even if you tried to explain to him why you were a monster, giving excuses in between shaky breaths and tears, he wouldn’t give in. “No matter what. You aren’t a monster. You’re an amazing human being. You can’t help your actions. It’s no excuse for others to see you any less- anyone who does isn’t worth your emotions. You’re perfect, (Y/N). You’re just as you’re supposed to be.”

Kou will still listen if you decide to vent. He’ll let you pour your heart out to him if you want, all while still giving you the best encouragement he can. If you don’t want to vent, that’s fine too. Kou is still there, telling you how amazing you are. Kou sits there with you until you’ve completely calmed down- and, even then, he keeps a careful eye on you for the rest of the day (if you even decide to stay at school. Kou will definitely encourage you to go home, as he knows how tiring crying is. He doesn’t want you to exhaust yourself, but the decision is still yours.)

Mitsuba Sousuke ☆

I feel like Mitsuba is… very poor at encouraging others. His specialty is insults- pointing out people’s flaws. However, all that time spent pointing out the flaws of others, he’s been able to pick up on a few good things about people. Heck, that's probably how the two of you became friends- noticing good things about you, and a mix of interest in your personality. 

Mitsuba isn’t one for sitting in on classes, especially after losing his memories and practically becoming a different person. With a lack of sense of self, he’s not going to bother with a sense of being alive for a while. In fact, it probably makes him uncomfortable-

Almost as uncomfortable as the feeling he gets when he sees you on the floor in hysterics. Mitsuba isn’t the expert when it comes to emotions but, nonetheless, at seeing a friend cry he barely has to think before rushing over to you. 

He was about to ask whether or not you were alright, before noticing as you clawed your face. “(Y/N)?” He questioned, quickly squatting to your level. He grabbed your hands, yanking them somewhat harshly away from your face as he heard you begin to call yourself a monster.

Mitsuba is honestly about ready to go off, but he stops himself at realizing that- hey. Maybe yelling at someone who’s in the middle of what is apparently a pretty rough panic attack is not a good idea? Yeah. Good choice, Mitsuba- nice thinking.

“You’re not a monster, (Y/N). Even if you were, there are plenty of monsters around. Sitting right in front of you is a monster, so don’t insult us.”

If you tried to explain what happened, or why you call yourself a monster, Mitsuba will listen and give his two cents. To him, things like that are purely, innately, unfortunately part of existing. “Some people handle things differently than others. It makes you no more a monster than it does anyone else. I’m sure you’re scared, I’m sure you don’t mean to lash out, but it’s not like it’s your choice.”

He’ll sit there as long as you cry, probably gently hushing you- not in a mean or degrading way, but like you’d do a child that’s crying. Once you calmed down, he’d stand up, telling you that you’d better not go anywhere. “I’m going out of my way to get something for you, so don’t do anything.” After being gone for a minute or so, he’d return with tissues and would hand them to you casually. He really wants to seem like he doesn’t care, but you should know that he genuinely does.

[enchantedblackrose]

Like I Love You

Jay Halstead/Plus sized Reader

Summary: Jay arrives at your apartment to pick you up for a date, but you're filled with self doubt.

¡Warnings! This potentially could be triggering. Poor body image, possible body dysmorphia, specific mentions of feelings of not being enough because of physical appearance

<Please, please lmk if I need to add any warnings.>

Loosely inspired by One Direction's Little Things

Like I Love You 

Your head throbs as hot tears of frustration continue to fall from your eyes. 

It was absolutely ridiculous to be this upset trying to pick out a decent outfit. After all, you've been successfully dressing yourself since age three.

But you don't have the mindset of a toddler. You're a jaded young woman with society's disgusting definition of beauty constantly shoved in your face. 

Deep down you know better. You know that the numbers on the scale give no indication of your beauty nor do they dictate your worth.

Sighing and trying to remind yourself that you are pretty, you again glance in the full length mirror. Standing there in nothing more than a top and underwear, fresh tears immediately fill your eyes. You only see flaws. Resisting the urge to poke at the cellulite near your thighs, you focus on your shirt. But the sleeves are cutting into your arms making them look weird. No, not weird. Fat. The too tight sleeves cause your arms to bulge. And the material clings to your soft tummy. You pinch the excess belly fat between your thumbs and index fingers, wishing you could squeeze it away.

You feel so ugly and gross. Angrily you pull the shirt off and throw it clear across your bedroom, where it joins a pair of jeans you couldn't breathe in and numerous other offending articles of clothing. None of which you look good in either.

You find an oversize t-shirt and slip it on before you just collapse on that very spot of plush carpeting.

Tears still roll down your face. All you wanted was something cute to wear. To be pretty. And go out with your boyfriend for a date night. He's a detective for the Chicago police department. The hours are already long and sometimes abnormal, but this week he, and the rest of the special unit he's a part of,  were logging extra hours on a particular difficult case. You haven't seen much of each other recently so you were especially giddy when you received his text earlier in the day saying there had been a break in the case which meant he could swing by your place and take you out on a proper date. Your reply had been almost immediate, telling him how wonderful that sounded.

You were surprised to hear from him again, still promising to take you out, but proposing you both meet up with his coworkers after dinner for some drinks. He included "begging" and "puppy dog eyes" in the message. 

Though you wanted to, you couldn't exactly say no for several reasons. You had already agreed to the date, so he knew you were free. Part of you suspected that he had done it on purpose. You'd accuse your favorite detective of entrapment later. 

You also were fully aware how much Jay wanted to introduce you to the coworkers he considered friends, having been invited to go out with them several times before. You kept putting it off.

Not because you had no interest in meeting everyone. Rather, the idea fed your worst insecurities.

What if they don't think I'm good enough? They're going to wonder what he sees in me. Then Jay will start wondering too. 

Wanting to do this solely for Jay's benefit, believing he deserved this after the hellish week at work, you went to your bedroom to plan your outfit. That's how you ended up in this nightmare. You only want to look your best, like you belong with Jay.

Nothing in your closet said that though. The truth of the matter was no one like him should be with someone who looks like you.

Cries turn to sobs. You draw your knees to your chest, hugging them tightly.

You hear the door to your apartment unlock, Jay using his copy of your key to let himself in. Hastily, you wipe at your face, not wanting him to see you like this; yet you can't find the will to stand. A loud, nasally sniff escapes you.

"Babe?" His still unaware voice calls out from the hallway. "I got us reservations." You don't answer back right away and you hear his footsteps approach. 

Having found you, he stops in the doorway. "Whoa. What kind of nuclear clothing explosion happened here?" He indicates to the mounds of clothes which surround you and cover the better part of the carpet and bed. His laughter dies as soon as he sees your tear-streaked, puffy face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" his worry evident in both his voice and light eyes. He looks you up and down, frantically searching for any sign of what has you like this.

You mumble incoherently.

"What?"

"I don't have anything to wear."

"The floor begs to differ," he teases. You glare back, in no mood for jokes no matter how well intended. He holds up his hands signaling he meant no harm before he pulls you to your feet. "What's going on?" You huff a heavy sigh in reply. His hand caresses your cheek and softly "hmms?" at you encouragingly.

"Nothing fits right," you confess. He hesitates unsure how to respond, so you continue. "I look extra fat in everything."

Jay frowns. "I doubt that very much. You always look good. I love how you look dolled up when we go out and I love when you're in an old tee and sweats."

"That's nice of you to say-"

"Well I didn't say it to be nice. I said it because it's true," he cuts you off.

You give a tiny, weak smile. "I hate how I look." Your voice cracks. New tears sting your eyes.

He brushes the few teardrops that manage to escape with his thumb. "Baby, what are you talking about? You're beautiful." His voice is soft with a hint of sadness hearing you talk this way.

"This is not beautiful." You pat your flabby stomach, then your thighs. 

Carefully stepping to avoid the clothes which litter the floor, Jay makes his way to your bed and sits on the edge, still mindful of the garments piled there as well. He opens his arms, indicating for you to sit on his lap.

"My huge ass will probably crush you," you mutter.

"Baby-"

 

Exasperated you throw your arms up, "I look nothing like you!"

"Well I'm a guy and you're not so…"

"Stop. I mean you look like a freaking model. That face and those abs for days." You catch him looking smug, no doubt a witty remark is at his lips, but one glance at you and he leaves it unsaid. You continue. Your voice hushed, "I'm afraid of what people might think or say when they see us together. It's why I've been so reluctant to meet your friends."

His eyes sadden. He reaches for you, gently pulling you to his lap. When he speaks, his voice is soft, but stern, almost begging you to believe his words. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I honestly had no idea, but listen to me, please. The only people who get a say about our relationship are in this room right now, okay? So our opinions are the only ones that matter. You. Are. Beautiful." He pauses only to shush you when he sees your mouth open. "The way your mind works fascinates me. Your sense of humor is amazing. You continuously show compassion for others, which in this world is not always easy. I swear your goodness is innate. Your laugh is intoxicating. When you smile...I wish you could see how your face lights up and your body turns me on exactly how it is. I have never been attracted to anyone as much as I am to you. I love you."

Jay's words move you, but they're not enough to silence your insecurities. "Even though I don't have a thigh gap?"

His brows furrow. "I...don't know what that means."

"It means my thighs touch each other. They're not supposed to."

"Says who?"

"...society."

"Society's ugly, not you or your thighs." His fingers trace nondescript patterns on the bare skin in question. "Besides, thick thighs save lives."

"Jay!" You laugh despite yourself. He smiles in return and presses his lips to your temple.

"I love you too. You know that, right?" You ask, realizing you hadn't said it back and he nods. A hand intertwines with his as you look in his eyes, "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"You're not. We all have insecurities or things we don't like about ourselves. I just wish you weren't so hard on yourself. I'm sorry too if you felt I was putting pressure on you to meet everyone."

"Not at all," you shake your head. "That's just me being me."

"Still, if my friends have a problem with us being together for any reason, they're not the people I think they are. Truly though, they'd love you. Hell, if we didn't show up together I could see one of them hitting on you," Jay pauses if imagining it.  "But seriously. They'd adore you. First, because they're going to see firsthand how good you are for me. Then because you're you. Funny, smart-"

"But I want to be pretty, Jay. And look like we belong together."

Jay sighs, but not out of frustration with you. He's only concerned."You are. And we do. I know nothing I say is going to magically change how you see yourself...I get that. You have to be the one to work this out. I really wish you could see yourself through my eyes and love yourself like I love you. Maybe then you'd understand you're so worthy of self-love. I promise, I'm right here and I'm going to keep reminding you how beautiful you are in hopes you'll start to see it."

Your hand caresses his cheek as you fight the urge to cry again. He leans into your touch. "You do help," you tell him because it's true and to reassure him. "I'm so lucky to have you. I'm really going to try to not be so down on myself. Besides. I  really don't want to ruin any more of our nights."

He waves you off. "A night trying to get you to see your beauty is not ruined. And the night's still young. We'll do whatever you're up for. Go out for a bit. Stay in and order food. Whatever."

A small smile appears on your face. You quickly peck his lips with yours. "I just want to wash my face before we do anything." Jay nods. You slide off his lap and head to your bathroom across the hall.

The light flickers for a second as soon as you hit the switch. You go to the sink, turning the water on and letting it run to get to the perfect temperature. Standing there, you glance into the vanity mirror. Your face is still slightly puffy with a few soft pink splotches across your cheeks from all your crying. You splash the water on your face and repeat the action several more times before using a fluffy towel to pat dry your face. You stare back into the mirror. And smile. It reaches your eyes and illuminates your face. You reach a realization. However fleeting or permanent, you don't know. But right now in this moment, you feel it. 

You're pretty.

-

[mvrtaiswriting]

hi marta! i thank you for your follow, and i hope you're doing well and you're safe there in the UK!! if you don't mind it, could you possibly write josuke with a s/o who is terrified of storms and freaks out during a power outage?? your writing is awesome and i look forward to seeing more on my feed! thanks again love!! 💞💞

Force of Nature - Josuke Higashikata. 

Hello! I am deeply sorry for the late, late reply - you probably even forgot about this request! It got paid dust and it deserved so much better. I absolutely loved writing about this, because I used to be so scared of storms in my younger days! It’s been a while since the last time I wrote, so I’m sorry if this does not meet your expectation. Thank you so much for waiting so long and for believing in me & my writing, I hope you’re okay and safe. Sending looots of love!!

Neutral reader x Josuke Higashikata.

Jojo’s bizzare adventures: Diamond Is Unbreakable & Stardust Crusaders

SFW

Trigger warning: really minor, slight sexual things ?? (just a kiss mention tbf)

Words Count: 922

Hi! Are you a new reader? Check my masterlist for more content! 

Please feel free to reblog or leave a comment :) help me support my art (it’s free!),

© bearing in mind everything I post/write is my intellectual property so please don’t steal/copy and paste and post it as yours.

“It looks like it’s going to rain soon, should we just head home?” you heard your boyfriend saying, while he fully extended his arm in front of him to catch a raindrop and feel it on his hand. You nodded, holding his hand tight. He looked at you raising an eyebrow and, letting out a smirk, he said “don’t worry; storms are rare in this period of the year.”

Josuke was usually right in regard to these kind of things. Joseph had taught him some tricks he learnt during his trip in Egypt to understand how the weather will change during the day, and Josuke picked these skills up quickly, thinking they would come in handy. Not that they were of much use in Japan, having full access to weathercasts – but every time Josuke’s prediction were right, his heart filled with pride and satisfaction: he would smile widely, jumping around you with glimmering eyes shouting something like “See? Just like I told you!” and this was something you could never resist too. Trusting his intuition once again, you guys slowly headed home, taking the long way and enjoying the cloudy sunset in front of you.

The rain however did not take longer to arrive, and by the time you arrived home, you were already soaking wet. Shaking from the cold, you quickly removed your wet clothes and made your way to your bedroom to put some warm, more comfortable clothes. “Why don’t you pick something to watch on tv while I prepare some hot chocolate?” Josuke said, kissing your forehead. “Be quick, I’ll wait for you on the living room!” you answered, tiptoeing to give your boyfriend a kiss. He nodded and, after kissing you back, the two of you parted your ways.

You prepared your couch for the movie night, fixing its pillow and bringing a big, warm blanket just to make everything cosier. As you were zapping through the channels on the tv, the weather outside kept worsening; the rain was now banging loudly on the windows, while the wind was howling and whistling, shaking the trees’ branches and their leaves. You were terrified. Storms were something you hated since you were a child; there was no particular reason for it, not that you could remember. Simply being aware of the unstoppable force of nature was something that petrified you – you felt so small, so powerless. You always thought storms were nature’s way of saying ‘I can destroy everything and take my place back if I just want to’. You snuggled into the blankets, hoping Josuke would hurry up and come back to you. Having him around always made you feel secure and protected, as if nothing bad could happen to you as long as you were in his arms.

Then it happened. The sky lighted up for not more than two seconds and the jet black dark of the night was quickly replaced by a white light. From your window, you could perfectly see the lighting striking on the ground and before you could even realise, you heard a rumbling thunder, so loud it felt as the walls of the house were shaking. At the same time, before making a strange noise, you TV shut down and so did every single light of the house. The fear almost paralysed you, you felt as if your entire skeleton was shaking too. You screamed in reaction to what you had just witnessed, while outside lightnings and thunders were continuously succeeding each other.

The first thing you heard – apart the noise of the storm, was Josuke screaming right back.

“YOU scared me!” he shouted from the kitchen, before bursting into a laugh while quickly reaching you in the living room, holding a candle.

“Why are you laughing?!” you asked, visibly frightened. He smiled and sat next to you, quickly welcoming you in his arms holding you tight and kissing all over your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m laughing at myself because I got scared from hearing you!” he answered, trying his best not to laugh. He quickly got serious when he noticed you were shaking, holding you tighter in response.

“It’s okay, I’m here.” He whispered in your ear, while caressing your hair with his hand; he even summoned his stand, Crazy Diamond as if he was ready to fight just to protect you. You rested your head on his big chest, listening to his heart-beat which really calmed you down. The storm outside kept raging but now, with Josuke by your side, you didn’t care anymore.

“Thank you for being here. I know it’s silly of me..” you said quietly, feeling your cheeks getting warmer and warmer after every word you said. Josuke let out a soft laugh, putting his forehead against yours, forcing you to look at him.

“You know what’s silly?” he said. “You apologising for something that is absolutely normal, or thanking me for taking care of you. I love you, that’s the least I can do.” He continued, leaving a soft kiss on your lips, which you welcomed with pleasure. You placed your hands around his neck, slowly pulling Josuke's body on yours.

After a long, deep kiss, you and Josuke spent the rest of the night playing with the shadows on the wall using the candle’s light, making all sorts of animals and making up funny stories about them. Not a second passed by without Josuke making you laugh, who, as always, managed to make your heart feel less heavy and eternally grateful to have him by your side.