#but this is all i could remember and write today

[safetypinxtales]

Santa baby | Azriel

summary: it's nearing solstice and you have an extensive list for your mate Santa.

words: 1.5k

warnings: fluff, a bit of seduction, Azriel is stupid in love, like absolutely whipped, reader sits in Azriel's lap, feminine reader (lipgloss, hair below shoulder-length), otherwise neutrally described reader, no use of y/n, it's an AU where everything is the same except Santa is a thing.

notes: well, it's been a while but it's Christmas and I have free time for once so why not write? I whipped this one up in like an hour whilst waiting for our guests to arrive today, and it has minimal editing, but it's something light and sweet for the holidays. Hope you enjoy and merry Christmas! 🤍

masterlist

The glass is cold in your hand as you waltz into the living room. The winter sun had already set on the quaint seaside cottage you shared with Azriel. He had surprised you with it after your mating ceremony last solstice, and as you took in the shadows dancing around on the walls, cast by dim candle light, a feeling of contentedness enveloped you. The amber liquid in the glass sloshed with each step you took, but never quite enough to spill over the rim. It was a practiced routine, bringing him a drink whenever you found your mate a little too stuck in his work.

His head lifted from the paperwork he had been going over as he sensed your presence entering the living room, the hand that had been carefully turning a leaf falling slack on the armrest.

His eyes dropped down to your hips, watching them sway with every step you took, gaze fixed as if in a trance.

You let out a low hum as you reached him, extending the glass. His eyes met yours as he put the paperwork aside and accepted your offering.

Slowly – gracefully and practiced – you slid into his lap, one arm snaking its way around his shoulder. The warmth of his hands on your waist spread all the way into your chest, making your heart beat just that little bit faster.

Grabbing his face, feeling the slight stubble of his cheek under your palm, you planted your lips on his. 

The kiss was soft and warm, and perfectly matched the feeling blooming in your chest has he murmured a low:

“Hello, my love.”

“Hello,” you hummed back and felt that slow tug in your chest that you had come to love so. 

You gave a loving tug back and felt Azriel shudder beneath you.

Letting you gaze flit over his face, you marveled at his features. 

The dark lashes framing those mesmerizing hazel eyes of his. The colour of the finest of honey, all swirling and golden. 

The constellations of freckles adorning his cheeks, like a map only you were privy to read.

His lips, currently smeared in your lipgloss and stretched into a dopey smile making him look just as lovesick as you felt inside.

“Hey, Az?” You broke the warm silence that had enveloped you.

“Yes, my love?” He murmured, his eyes flicking down to your lips briefly before finding their way back to yours.

You leaned in to give him another soft peck, only pulling away to rest your forehead against his.

“I have.. I’ve been thinking about something,” you whispered, feeling the breath from his curious yes? on your lips. “About what I want from Santa this year.”

He pulled back slightly at your words, eyebrows raised and that dopey smile still plastered on that pretty mouth of his. He knew as well as you that Santa meant Azriel himself.

“Oh, really? Please, do tell,” his curious hum sent you heart fluttering as you settled in further in his lap.

“Well, do you remember that dagger I liked so much when we visited summer? The gold one?” You purred and ran your fingers through his hair. His eyes fluttered as your nails lightly scratched his scalp.

“The one with the eye-sized ruby in the pommel?” You nodded. “My love, that blade is useless. You couldn’t even cut an apple with it, much less cause any real damage,” he scoffed, ”you’d be better off fighting someone with a cotton ball. That you could at least shove down their throat – hope they choke to death.”

His eyes gleamed at the gasp you let out. The soft swat you landed on his chest drawing out a quiet chuckle.

“I know it’s useless in combat, but it’s so pretty isn’t it? Besides, why would I need to fight when I have you to defend me?” You chirped with a flutter of lashes. 

You just managed to catch his eyes darkening before he pulled you into yet another kiss, this time firmer. Purposeful. 

Claiming.

When he pulled away his breath was heavier and his voice rougher as he swore, “I will always protect you, always defend you.”

“Even if I’m in the wrong?”

“No such thing.”

Your toes curled at his admission, and the hand that was tangled in his hair tightened its grip.

“Good answer,” you mused, and his thumbs swiped at your waist – up and down. 

“What else should Santa put on his list?”

You pretended to think for a moment, pursing your lips into a glossy pout, knowing just how crazy the act drove your mate.

And just as you could have predicted, his eyes dropped down to your mouth, his smile fading slightly, his eyelids growing heavier.

“Well you know that necklace that Feyre has? That she wore on our mating ceremony?” You asked.

He nodded in response, eyes still focused on your lips.

You let your cheeks pull into a broad smile, “well I saw that the jewellery shop by the Palace of Thread and Jewels has its twin in gold.”

“The diamond necklace you kept sighing about for weeks after the ceremony? The one that had me questioning if it was the mating bond that was making you so blue?” He questioned, his voice laced with disbelief.

“That’s the one,” you replied. Removing your hand from where it was nestled against his head, you moved to push your hair over your shoulder, exposing your décolletage.

”Wouldn’t it fit me so well?” You asked, letting your hands graze the bottom of your throat, following the curve down to the top of your chest, watching his eyes track the movement with a predatory focus.

Azriel’s throat bobbed, “It would.”

Your hand fell to his arm, giving the muscle hiding under his sweater a light squeeze. 

“Yeah, you really think so?” You gave him your best hopeful look, batting your eyelashes for added effect.

He simply nodded, too much of a lovestruck, mess of a male in your presence to form any actual words. 

“That’s good,” you hum, “now I only have one last thing on my wish list.”

Your mate didn’t verbally respond, but you took the squeeze of his hands on your hips as a sign to keep going.

“An apartment in the city.”

That seemed to bring Azriel back to life.

“An apartment? Is the cottage I got for us not enough?” He asked with a playful glint in his eyes.

“Well, no, I love the cottage – you know that. But sometimes it would be nice to have somewhere closer to go to after having spent the evening with the others, don’t you think?”

“It takes half a second to winnow from there to here,” he deadpanned, causing you to roll your eyes.

“But I think it would be nice to stay in the city sometimes. To be able to walk home, a stroll along the Sidra,” you gave him your sweetest, most innocent smile and added, “just you and me?”

You could see his resolve melting, and felt the largeness of his hand leave your waist in favour of gently stroking your thigh. 

“An apartment, huh?” His soft voice still had some reluctance hanging on to it, but you could tell he was warming up to the idea pretty quickly.

Your head bobbed up and down in confirmation, and an amused sigh left his lips.

“You must think mighty highly of yourself, dear, to think Santa would give you such special treatment,” he mused as he pulled you closer. 

“Well, I just have it on a hunch that Santa might know that my wonderful, loving mate, who – if I haven’t already mentioned – loves me so,” Azriel’s eyes crinkled at the corners as you continued, “works for the high lord.”

Amusement danced in his eyes, and a soft red glow started making its way up his cheeks.

“So maybe someone like that, like me. Like the mate of the Night court spymaster, deserves to be a little spoiled.” You leaned in to kiss his jaw, and stopped to whisper in his ear, “it sure would make her happy.”

He hummed in agreement, his thumb stroking across your thigh at a slow but steady pace.

“Besides,” you continued, leaning back to look him in the eyes, “I have been such a good girl this year.” 

Azriel’s administrations on you leg stopped, his large hand instead coming up to cup your face. 

He hummed lowly, eyes locked on your lips, eyebrows drawn together in a pensive look.

“You really have,” he murmured.

Again, he pulled you into a kiss, molding his lips to yours. You let yourself melt into him – your wonderful, loving spymaster – into the warmth radiating from his large body. Into the secure grip of his hands and the gentle softness of his lips. You let yourself melt into your mate, with no care in the world, besides kissing him back.

When you finally pulled away you leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “if Santa is very kind to me, I promise I will be just as good next year.”

“Yeah?” His voice was thick with emotion.

“Yes, maybe even better.” You promised, and leaned back to look at him. 

You cupped his jaw, the slight stubble adorning the skin scratching your hand in the most comforting way.

He shook his head slightly, his gaze never leaving yours.

“Not possible.”

Want to be added to my taglist?

tags: @missussimonriley @azrielshadows1nger @anuttellaa @tele86 @aria-chikage @lilah-asteria

(since I haven't written in a while, lmk if you want to be removed)

[athousandbyeol]

keep up the thamepo [episode 2]

this episode, to me, is hopeful. i like the contrast of tone and mood from episode one. episode was indeed very sombre, melancholic and sad. but episode two, at least from how I perceive it, is hopeful.

there are some scenes that scratched my brain and made me giggle because we're seeing po experiencing this 'feeling' he couldn't describe yet. but I'm so happy that it's here, and we're seeing it happening now. i think they set the pace quite well, allowing us to experience po and thame's emotional growth and acceptance this early.

1. Mr. A and Mr. B

it's so cute that po has a best friend he could rely on. I'm so glad he has baifern to listen to his random rants and thoughts. i always feel like po doesn't have someone he could be transparent with.

baifern is really a great listener, and I'm glad she's somewhat realistic while po is idealistic—she gives po the reality check he needs—since in my opinion, po is such a dreamer (he seems like an F to me).

although po denied his crush on Mr. B (thame), I think, without realising, he's actually taking an interest in thame? one of the reasons might be because 1) thame left but he was hurt (po wanted to know why and how he could feel hurt even though he wanted to leave thame) and 2) thame is mysterious but isn't entirely cold either. he assures po a lot in this episode even though there's still this respectable distance between them. it's not yet a romantic crush, but more of wonderment and curiosity.

so... when po shared this Mr. A and Mr. B analogy, I think everyone knew he was talking about himself and thame ;) it's honestly so cute! i know he's just curious—he thinks about people's feelings and ideas a lot—some call him a people pleaser. he definitely felt a bit icky after saying this to thame:

i think it's quite interesting how thame's understanding of po's words was he would drop the sasaeng allegation on po, while po thought that thame misunderstood his words by thinking it was 'romantic'.

i assume thame actually knew what po meant, (and I might be preaching) but I guess their feeling is already mutual? both of them are interested in each other. honestly, I'm unsure who fell first because it could be both in different situations. thame might think po was interesting and 'different' when he first saw him during the event. po might fall during this—

2. po wears his heart on his sleeves (yet again)

everything about this moment is so tender... and romantic. i can't really explain but the air shifts between them at this time and forward. but it's somewhat bittersweet.

although it's cute, i feel like po kind of resents himself? when he looked at his hands, he was shaking his head, hoping to discard those feelings bubbling inside him. it's so sad because the fear of placing himself in this situation again—to bear his heart and soul for someone—to love again—still haunts him. i like how we still see him subtly drowning in his past. it shows that emotional trauma can't be discarded or healed overnight. it's a process.

but i also like how thame was watching po all the time... his eyes are always on po (although some shots of thame are blurred), it's obvious he's attentive to po, yet po didn't realise it yet.

3. the gifts and scripts — po becomes an opener to thame's deepest feelings

the whole set-up of the gifts and everything is so... eerie. although I'm sure there's still sincerity left in this world, it's the truth (to an extent). the entertainment industry is a stage play—everything is constructed to look perfect. it's kind of heartbreaking to witness this bitter truth; not everything we perceived on screen is true.

but i'm glad thame actually brought his own gifts—gifts that really mattered to his friends. he's attentive and sensitive. some might say because of his role as the leader, but I feel like thame is inherently kind and big-hearted. no one loves MARS—the members—more than thame.

and when po found it, i felt relieved. ah. po. of course, he would notice. of course, he would know.

i had a conversation with lia (@treasurebook) about this, and she said that thamepo becomes each other's map. when they meet, their life's trajectory shifts from what the company and po's past relationship wanted them to do to this—fixing and healing each other's wounds.

po and thame share the same grief but for different reasons. both of them seek answers and solutions. po wants closure, and thame want a starting point. both of them are giving that to each other, a mutual exchange.

clearly, thame and his friends didn't get to sit down and talk about this. it was a decision made by thame solely from the pressure and responsibility. i guess this could be considered as thame's 'mistake' because he thought he could handle this by himself. his decision would definitely help the group.

it's thame's selflessness and strong sense of responsibility that urged him to carry the group's burden alone. he didn't want his members to go through anything painful or unpleasant. he promised he would grant everyone's wish.

but this is the price he has to pay in the end; the conflict. the broken friendship. the mistrust.

i believe this is a message that is clear to us: communication is key, especially if we're leading a group or in any form of relationship. i think it's appropriate for thame to discuss the offer of releasing a solo song with mars, 1) as a sign of respect, 2) to avoid future conflict, and 3) to receive input from the members. yet, it is what it is. thame didn't. and I don't want to say that he's entirely at fault. it's something that could be done but didn't.

additionally, the idea of thame abiding by the script to the t is haunting. becoming mars, becoming a leader, becoming the company's money maker, he lost his voice. he lost his stance. he lost everything. he became the company's puppet. his feelings don't matter.

his initial intention was so pure, to the extent of naivety. he did everything for the sake of mars. he thought he was helping mars to reach stardom, to be in a better position. but absent-mindedly, all these solo projects and opportunities led him astray from the group. and when he wanted to do a song with mars again, khun pemika said it was no longer necessary.

clearly, the company (especially khun pemika) manipulated and gas-lighted thame into believing he was the reason behind mars's downfall and their friendship.

it hurts because thame truly believed he was the cause, and he couldn't fix it. he should just run with this narrative since his friends hated him too, right? and the media often painted him negatively too.

but not until po. not until po assured him that he should try and work things out. he should at least be sincere with his feelings for once before he left everything behind—before his solo debut in Korea.

when thame admitted he couldn't say anything but I'm sorry, I think, for this moment, it's more than enough. it takes a lot to accept and acknowledge our mistakes, and even more so to apologise. it's so brave of thame to finally come to terms with the truth that has been haunting him all this time.

4. "i fixed this suit" — a foreshadowing of a budding friendship/companionship

this whole sequence drives me insane because so many things are happening!

i honestly didn't expect po to admit that he had an ex to thame this early. i wonder if it was a slip of his tongue because the silence afterwards was heavy with tension. it's like thame was analysing everything about what po said and how he behaved around him, was it because of his ex?

and po... he was surprised with his response, too! sometimes I think po didn't want to show that vulnerable side of his, but it came out unexpectedly... maybe he was getting comfortable with thame?

po looked like he wanted to run away (he did) and um... if I were thame... i think I might fall for him right there and then (sorry for this).

it's so cute! po is just... adorable. and he's so loveable. he's so honest with his feelings and I think thame really loves that about po. po's directness pushes thame to be frank with his feelings too.

(shoutout to est and william for turning every scene romantic and intimate when it was intended. i can't imagine how I'll react once they start feeling more than just friends... I'll pass out for sure.)

this! thame was looking at the suit po fixed—and he would ask for po's help to reunite the group! genius! this is an amazing shot and direction, really. I'm obsessed (p'mui, I adore you T_T).

and this freaking sandwich! i can't believe po no longer has to feel uneasy or guilty about taking two sandwiches because he finally has someone to share it with! cheers to po and his new-found (future) love! it's also a sign of mutuality and acceptance to help each other out. what a sweet ending to the episode!

i can't wait for the next episode. jun is going to be in it and I love how they're setting up a possible conflict; thame trusting jun but jun going against him. it's either jun is really plotting something devious, or it was just his plan to 'distract' khun pemika/the company from discovering their true agenda. i hope it's the latter because I can't handle one mars member being the antagonist :'( it'll hurt so bad...

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Thirteen: [Panic Room]

Summary: Jakes darkest fears come to fruition when surgery doesn’t go as planned and the months to come bring a new reality he never saw coming.

Warnings: MAIN CHARACTER DEATH Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion.

Word Count: 5.5k

Author Note: A big show of appreciation and love to @a-reader-and-a-writer (Vee) for constantly being ready and willing to help me with my writing. You have been the backbone I needed to get this done!

You guys will never know how much this series means to me. And in the same breath, you guys will never know how much your support truly means. Merry Christmas Eve Eve 2024 ya filthy animals.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Researchers say the average length of a dream is two to three minutes long. But many people experience their dreams as hours, days, or even years if they can remember them at all. 

The science of dreaming has been questioned for hundreds of years. Some hypothesise that dreams are our way of processing real events that occur when we’re awake. They also serve as an outlet for repressed hopes and desires. Neuroscientists introduce a new theory every few years. But honestly, no one knows why we dream. 

Or why we have nightmares. We just hope that after the dream, we wake up. 

“We’ve gone over all the risks, weighed up all the possible outcomes, dotted I’s and crossed T’s. Today is the day, Mrs. Seresin.” Doctor Morrison was hopeful in his consultation. The white coat-wearing man reassured you as he placed your chart back where it belonged. “How are you feeling?” 

The question went unanswered for a moment or two. You felt like you were in a state of shock. Unable to truly express how you felt just hours before going into what could be life-changing surgery. You were giving everyone in the room a thousand-yard stare. Mentally and physically, you had checked out. Like you’d been stuck in a nightmare that wouldn’t stop torturing you. 

“We had some bad news last night. A close friend passed away unexpectedly,” Jake answered on your behalf. “Is there any way–” 

“We need to do this now, Mr. Seresin, or we won’t be able to revisit this for a few months,” Dr. Morrison explained with an emphasis on the matter of now or never. “I understand personal circumstances may have changed. However, knowing everything you know about risk and recovery and survival rates after double mastectomies, I recommend we stick to the organised care plan.” 

“Can we have a moment alone?” Jake asked cautiously as his hand came to rest gently on your shoulder. You hadn’t moved from what could only be described as a catatonic-like state for the entire duration of the conversation. 

“Of course,” Dr. Morrison nodded. “I’ll come back after I’ve checked in on a few patients.” 

It didn’t take long at all for the oncology crew to exit the room. But the second they did, you felt like you could breathe again. 

“I can’t go through with this surgery Jake,” you begged. Fear of the unknown had taken over your entire being. “I can’t do this,” 

“You are the strongest person I know, honey, the kids and I really need you to do this.” Jake tried his best to comfort you as well as remind you why this surgery was so important. “We need you, yeah? We need you to stick around and this fucking cancer, this disease, is trying to cut that time short.” 

“But Jensen–” 

At the height of the Great Depression, Harvard scientists started tracking students in hopes of discovering the key to a long and happy life. They looked at participants’ mental and physical health over seventy-five years. It’s the longest study of happiness to date. Seventy-five years and all they did was confirm what we’ve known since the beginning of time. 

The most powerful predictor of health and happiness is the quality of our relationships. 

Strong relationships protect us. Loneliness on the other hand…can be deadly. 

“Would want you to keep fighting and have this surgery.” Jake could have said he thought Jensen was a coward. He could have said how angry he was at that fucker for leaving you alone in this world with no one to confide in who knew the struggle, who knew the feeling of being told you’re sick and need to get sicker in order to get better. 

Jake could have told you how he wished Jensen had survived so he could kill him himself. Jake could have responded with the fact Jensen was terminal and there was nothing on this earth that could have saved him from his illness. 

Jake could have told you that Jensen thought you hung the stars and the moon in the night sky every night just for him…but then Jake would also have to admit to himself and you that maybe, just maybe, you should have moved on. 

“What would he say right now if he was here?” Jake settled on that question just to keep himself sane. He didn’t want to open yet another can of worms right before your surgery. This was all one big giant nightmare already, he didn’t want to make it worse. If anything, Jake kept pinching himself in secret just hoping that maybe he’d wake up on the couch and this cancer saga would all be some sadistic subconscious dream of his. 

He’d always been deathly afraid of not being good enough for you. 

“He’d tell me to do it,” you sighed as you let your head rest against the upright bed. “He’d tell me to be strategic about the battle, the war is the endgame.” 

“Exactly, one battle at a time, step by step,” Jake agreed with a cheeky smile. That signature Seresin smile you so effortlessly loved. “You’re not gonna hand in the white flag before the battles even really begins, are you?” 

“Kinda want to if I’m being completely honest with you,” you responded knowing Jake would appreciate the honesty. “But I guess you and the kids really need me to stick around, huh?” 

“Oh, I can’t even begin to explain how much we need you to stick around, honeybee.” it was as honest and as sincere as Jake could be. He wore his heart on his sleeve for you. He exposed every nerve he had just so you could dance your feather-like fingers across the tender strings that made Jake, Jake. 

“I’m so scared of being alone in the operating room,” you admitted as Jake leaned in to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I’m so scared they won’t see me as a person,” It was an explanation that broke Jake’s heart even though he believed his heart couldn’t be broken any more. “That they won’t remember I’m me, that I have a life and a family and people who will miss me.” 

Over the course of our lives, our relationships ebb and flow. We get together, break up, move away, or fall out of touch. It’s prolonged periods of loneliness and toxicity that wreak havoc on our health, our brain function, and our longevity. 

“You’re never alone,” Jake replied softly as tears threatened to spill over his waterline. “I’m always with you, the kids are always with you, Jensen, your mum, everyone will be with you during that surgery, we’re gonna be waiting on the other side.” 

“I love you so much, Jake Seresin,” you smiled brightly through a tight-lipped smile Jake wished he could save in his mind’s eye forever. “Let’s win this battle.” 

“And the war too,” Jake replied as he reached for your hand, gave it a soft squeeze, and brought your palm to his lips. “Let’s fucking do this, Y/n.” 

*************************************

Jake sat waiting by the vending machine as he picked at the small single service-sized packet of original Lays he’d nearly had to beg the machine to drop. His watch told him it was almost nearing the end of your surgery. He wasn't stressed, not when your surgeon had been so hopeful and calming. Jake had spent far too much of his time recently worrying about the what-ifs. He wanted to focus on the now. And that now was the fact you would have been nearing the end of your surgery. Which meant soon enough he’d get to see you again. 

The only thing that kept Jake on his toes was the ever-looming doubt that perhaps the treatment plan wouldn't be enough. He hoped that you had enough fight in you to make it through the journey. He needed you to have enough strength to fight. 

“She should be coming out of surgery soon–” Jake explained as he held his phone up to his ear and tried not to chew so loud. “The kids know that Rooster is picking them up to bring them home to Grandma Maz’s house?” 

“Yeah, Mum’s not too happy about it but she won't keal over about it,” Jasmine replied as she watched her brother's kids play with hers in the backyard she and Jake used to make mud pies in. “Rooster messaged about an hour ago saying he was close, he shouldn't be too far away now.” Jas continued in her own little world. Jake was used to not being able to get a word in with his youngest sister. “I can't believe Y/n has fucking cancer–does her side of the family have a history or…?” 

“Not that we know of, it's just really bad luck, Jas,” Jake sighed as he let his head fall back against the wall his chair was pressed up against. “But hopefully with this surgery and the chemo, she’ll be able to beat it.” 

“Well, you tell her that I’m pissed she gets a boob job before I do,” Jasmine tried her best to keep the situation as light-hearted as possible. “Make sure she gets a good rack, not too small or too big, like a good handful that's just right.” 

“I'll be sure to let her know,” Jake smiled, he really could count on his sister for that. “Oh, I gotta go, I see Y/n’s surgeon.” Jake sat up in anticipation as anxiety flooded his nervous system. “Tell the kids we love them for me.” 

“Have been every day,” Jasmine replied quickly knowing her brother probably had his phone down from his ear by now. “Bye.” 

Jake was quick to pocket his phone and wipe the crumbs from his shirt as he stood to greet your surgeon. However, something seemed off about the man who had seemed so confident before your surgery. 

“Mr. Seresin–” 

“How is she?” Jake asked. He didn't mean to interrupt, but he needed to know first and foremost before any medical mumbo jumbo. “My wife, how’d the surgery go?” 

There was a very telling pause that accompanied the sober look that Doctor Morrison wore, but Jake tried not to read into it all that much. He knew you would be fine. 

Right? 

“Mr Seresin, your wife's heart was weakened by the stress of her recent stroke,” Doctor Morrison began to explain as Jake stood there expecting good news. “She, unfortunately, went into a cardiac arrest–” the air around Jake disappeared. Almost instantly, he felt as if he were floating in space. “We tried to revive her for the better half of twenty minutes while she was on the table,” There was a pause. A telling moment where reality and fantasy were trying to battle it out. Who’s version of events would win? When Doctor Morrison saw Jake’s mind short-circling with an inability to process the magnitude of information, he felt as if he needed to continue explaining the severity of the situation. 

“It was catastrophic, and I'm afraid we've lost her.” Doctor Morrison had told far too many loved ones over the years that they had lost family members, but never in all his years had he ever seen such immediate denial written in the lines on someone's face. “Mr. Seresin, your wife has died.” The words Doctor Morrison was saying were not sinking in as Jake stood there completely blind to the reality happening around him. “I’m so sorry for your loss–” 

“Uh–” Jake frowned as the confusion kicked in. “I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else. My wife was fine before she went in for surgery, she was fine.” 

“Yes, yes, your wife was fine, yes–” Doctor Morrison tried to keep his composure, but even after all these years the losses still hurt. It made him feel human to experience the emotions alongside the family members, but in the first few seconds of watching Jake Seresin spiral into a hole of denial that you were, in fact, gone, Doctor Morrison, knew this particular loss would haunt him for the rest of his career. 

Speaking slowly, Doctor Morisson tried once more to explain what had happened in a way that Jake would understand. “The stress of the surgery along with her recent stroke…her body just couldn't handle the stress. Her heart experienced a cardiac episode and we unfortunately couldn’t revive her.” 

The immediate silence between the two men was all-consuming as it was telling. Jake’s heart was breaking in two. 

“Is there someone I can call for you?” Doctor Morrison tried to be as empathetic as he could be, this part of the job was never easy. The part where he was tasked with telling loved ones that the people they loved had passed on his table. They were few and far between, but the people he did lose would forever haunt him. He could name every single one and their family’s name too. Jake Seresin would be a name Doctor Morrison would remember for the rest of his life and into the next. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Jake pushed back almost immediately as he tried to wrap his head around what he was being told. This didn’t make any sense, you were just here. You were fine. 

“No, Mr. Seresin I–” Doctor Morrison tried to explain again, but it was to no avail.

“I–Okay, I think you must be mistaken,” Jake wiped his hand on his jeans as he stepped back. “I just need to ge–”

“Mr. Seresin, please.” Doctor Morrison tried to stop Jake from leaving the waiting area, but Jake just stepped further back with a frown of disgust and grief. He was still holding his packet of Lays. 

“No, no can you just, can you back up?” Jake nearly growled. “Can you leave me alone?” Jake looked around as he tried to remember how to breathe. People were staring at him like he was in a zoo. A caged and cornered animal begging to be left alone. “Can somebody get this person to just give me some space please?” It was as heartbreaking as it was cruel to watch Jake walk down the hall towards where he knew your hospital room was. 

“Y/n?” He called out hoping you'd be back by now. “You won’t believe this guy, honey. He just–” The moment Jake rounded the corner and saw your hospital room empty with no sign of you, he stood still. All the air had been sucked right from his lungs as his eyes scanned the room. Your Christmas lights weren’t flashing, your bed wasn't made, and your laptop sat open with a black screen, but just where you’d left it. You weren't back. 

“Y/n?” Jake whispered under his breath as his eyes continued to scan the empty hospital room just waiting for you to appear from out of the bathroom or sneak up behind him. But Jake knew you weren't about to appear even though he wished for nothing more. 

“Oh–” One step, two steps, three steps, four. Jake didn't know where he was but he was on the move. He couldn't stay here looking at an empty room. He had to find where you were. “Oh god, no, no no no no no, please no don’t take her away from me.” 

“Jake!” The woman's voice Jake had come to know over the last few days broke through the fog that was clouding Jake's mind. He continued to stumble blindly down the ward. “I just heard,” Lydia explained as she rushed up to the man who she had come to know as your husband. “I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting this to happen. I thought–” Lydia quickly reacted when Jake's knees buckled underneath him. 

“Woah! I need a little help over here!” Doctor Morrison was quick on the draw as he made his way over to where Jake now kneeled on the floor unable to breathe. 

“My wife–” Jake tried to talk as he hyperventilated. “Y/n!” he cried out for all to hear. “Y/N!” 

“She's gone.” Doctor Morrison had to make sure the fact was sinking in. 

“Oh Jake, I’m so sorry–” Lydia tried to console the six-foot-something man who had crumbled to his knees. “Your wife was an amazing woman.” 

Jake still couldn't believe it, he didn't believe it, and he wouldn't. The pain he felt inside his chest, the burning hot sensation was excruciating. He’d never felt such a feeling of grief mixed with denial and so much love. You couldn’t be gone. He was having a nightmare, wasn’t he? This wasn't real. He was dreaming. This was all one big dream. It had to be. It had to be a nightmare his subconscious had concocted. A nightmare where Jake lost it all. His biggest fears were realised. 

“I need my wife, I need Y/n,” Jake sobbed as Lydia kneeled on the ground in front of him just assessing his current state of shock. “I can't, she can't–no no no she's fine, please tell me she's fine.” 

“I'm so sorry, Jake,” Lydia confirmed what Jake wished so desperately wasn’t true. “She’s gone,” Lydia’s voice became distorted as she held the broken man in her arms. “You need to wake up before it's too late.” 

************************

Bradley Bradshaw was accustomed to losing the people he loved the most in this world. He’d lost his father, his mother, and his grandparents. For a while there he’d lost the only man who had ever slightly filled the shoes his dad left behind. But the loss of someone who was still there was something he’d never had to handle before. 

“Nat, he hasn’t gotten out of bed in days,” Bradley groaned as he cleaned up the kitchen. “The kids already lost their mother,” Bradley tried his best to keep his voice down, but the way little Lennox clocked Bradley from where he was sitting at the dining table made him realise he wasn’t one to talk on the quiet side. “They don’t need to lose their dad too.”

Jake stood just outside of Bradley’s eyeline, but he could hear everything the giant overgrown bird was saying. He couldn’t hear what Phoenix was saying but there was enough back and forth on Bradley’s behalf to easily fill in the gaps. 

“No. No, he hasn’t been down since the funeral.” Jake forgot how to exhale at the mere mention of your funeral as he hid in the hall. He couldn’t remember ever getting ready or speaking at your wake. He couldn’t remember who drove them or if the kids cried. He couldn’t remember hugging your mother or shaking your brother’s hand. Jake couldn’t remember any details about the flowers he’d organised or the people who were there. 

The anti-depressants weren’t helping. Nothing was. Nothing would. 

Until today, Jake couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. Without you, there was no point. He was begrudgingly okay with living a life in a world where you were still in it. But living in a world where you were no longer present wasn’t something Jake was willing to do. The kids would be fine with their grandparents. They’d be fine with Uncle Rooster. Lennox and Lucy and little Sammy didn’t need him. How was he supposed to look into their eyes and know he could never see the twinkle in yours ever again? 

“I’m really worried about him, Nat,” Rooster sighed as he held his phone up to his ear with his shoulder. He was working on making little Samy some banana pancakes. “As much as I want to, I can’t stay here forever, but he needs someone.” 

“No one is asking you to babysit me, Bradshaw,” Jake replied to the statement Bradley wasn’t expecting an answer to. “You can leave, trust me, I can drop the kids off with my mum.” 

Bradley stood stunned into silence as he watched Jake round the corner and into vision. He reluctantly reached for his phone and hung up as Phoenix questioned what was going on. 

“Hey man,” Rooster finally broke the silence as he watched Jake walk closer and closer to where Sammy sat in his high chair. “How you feeling today?” 

“Well, my wife’s still dead, so that’s something,” Jake replied with a sigh as he picked up Sammy and placed him on his lap. Lennox could see the look of pure admiration in his younger brother’s eyes as Jake hugged the smallest of the Seresin kids. “Seriously, you’ve done enough for us, I got it from here.” It was the biggest lie Jake had ever tried to tell not only himself but his best friend. 

“Uh,” Bradley wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure? I mean–I wanna stay as long as you need man,” Bradley tried to plead his case as Jake went about his business with Sammy. The business being nothing. Jake stood somewhat dazed and lost in the middle of the clean-ish kitchen. A kitchen he knew where nothing was. It wasn’t his. It was yours. 

“I think the kids should come back to North Island with me,” Jake opted to ignore what Bradley was saying. Instead, he decided to continue with a vague plan for what the future holds. A future he didn’t want to have with you. A future he didn’t care about. 

“You want the kids to uproot everything they know?” Rooster frowned as he looked over to where Lenny sat watching on. The kids were down, to say the least. Bradley could recognise himself in the permanent pout that had taken shape across Lennox’s face. The puffy eyes and saddened expression really tied the whole look of mourning together. They were just kids, they didn’t deserve any of this. “I don’t think you should be thinking about coming back to work anything soon either.” 

“I don’t need you micromanaging me,” Jake hissed as he held onto his youngest son, all the while his eldest watched on with concern for his dad. “I need you to go home, Rooster, we’ve got it from here.” 

“You don’t got anything, Seresin. Are you kidding me right now?” Bradley didn’t mean to come across as so defensive. But he’d seen Jake in this grief-fueled spiral long enough to know that his destructive and depressive mindset would end up causing more distress for the kids than intended. Jake was a good dad, that had never been questioned. Until now… Bradley wasn’t sure if his best friend could handle parenting three small children without a village to back him up. “The kids haven’t seen you in days–” 

“Would you rather them see me at my worst or not see me at all?” Jake’s grief was eating away at him. So much so that Jake began to wish each time he closed his eyes he’d get to stay with the version of you his mind had envisioned. “I’m fine, I’ve got it from here,” Jake sighed as he hugged little Sammy with all the strength that he had. “I wasn’t, but I’m fine now and I just wanna spend time with the kids.” 

“I don’t believe a word you’re saying right now man,” Bradley replied as he caught sight of Lucy coming down the hall. She’d been sleeping much like her father was. Great, all three Seresin children were present for their father’s impending breakdown. 

“Get the fuck out of my house, Bradshaw.” This hadn’t been the first confrontation Jake and Bradley had gotten into while Bradley had been staying in Rhode Island as the Seresin kid’s personal live-in nanny. And it certainly wouldn’t be the last. It was becoming an almost everyday occurrence. The only difference this time was the kids were here to witness it. “I don’t need you here–”

“You aren’t thinking straight, just–how about the kids and I go for a walk or something and you sort yourself out? Have a shower? Shave? Drink something other than alcohol for–” Before Rooster could finish his sentence, Jake was placing Sam on the kitchen floor with a haste that didn’t sit right with Rooster. Lennox was the first to move from his chair. He was the spitting image of his father. 

“I don’t fucking care, Rooster!” Jake shouted at the top of his lungs. So loud and with such rage that the veins in his neck were popping as his skin turned a nice shade of ruby red. He took fast strides across the kitchen until Jake was standing toe to toe with his best friend. The very friend who’d been taking care of his children since before your passing. “I have to live the rest of my fucking live without the woman I love, so, cut me some godman slack before I knock your smug ass head from your shoulders.” 

Bradley didn’t move. He didn’t retaliate. He watched over Jake’s shoulder how his three children all cowered on the kitchen floor, scared of how their father yelled. Jake was oblivious to his surroundings. He couldn’t see the kids were struggling too. 

“Jake?” Bradley sighed as he placed his hands on either side of Jake’s face. “When the fuck are you gonna get through all this?” Braley asked softly as he remained calm. “When are you gonna wake up?” 

“Wake up?” Jake repeated as he pulled his face from his best friend's grip. “Wake up? Bradshaw, I died with my wife! There is no waking up from any of this!” 

“Maybe–” Bradley shrugged as he walked over to where the kids had been huddled together. It was only as Jake followed Bradley’s trajectory that he realised how much he’d scared his children. Something he never wanted to do. “There's always hope though.” 

“Kids,” Jake sighed as his tears began to fall. He dropped to his knees right then and there in the kitchen he wasn't familiar with. In a house that was now cold and dark without your constant radiating light to keep it warm and bright. “Guys, I'm sorry, huh–Dad didn't mean to raise his voice, he’s just–” Before Jake could finish his sentence, little Lennox was finishing his father’s sentence for him. 

“You’re just sick, dad.” 

“What?” Jake frowned as the kids made their way over to where Jake was kneeling on the tiles. 

“I said you’re just sad, Dad,” Lennox replied once more as he gave his dad a hug. “We’ll take care of you.” 

************************

December 31st 

Jake Seresin tried his best to hide the wet tears that fell down his cheeks as he sat with his kids on the lounge of the home that he had tried his best to keep as tidy as he could. There was a lot of uncertainty, a lot of frustration, a lot of fear and unbelievable sadness that surrounded Jake and your three small children. The unknown was truly tragic, terrifying and treacherous, but Jake wasn’t about to let his kids see the way he so desperately wanted to cry. 

Things had changed since Jake fell mind, body and soul into an unimaginably deep hole of depression. So much so that days had become to feel like one long dream. A paradox of grief and manic love. Your mother had told Jake to feel every ounce of emotion he had locked away. Maz had told him that grief was just someone’s residual love with nowhere else to go. 

Once Jake was able to understand that the pain of losing you was his love for you, he understood why it hurt so deeply on a cellular level. He understood why it hurt to look at the children he’d created with you. He understood why the kids had wanted to sit and open the small, still-wrapped Christmas present Lenny had found in Jake’s bag when he was looking for his dad’s wallet. 

Because it was one of the last things you ever gifted someone. It was one of your last acts on earth. 

“What did Mum get you for Christmas, Daddy?” Jake held the small present in the palm of his hand, the present he had yet to open. The present he wasn’t sure he wanted to. It felt like something he’d held before, the weight felt all too familiar. It haunted him the more he carried it around, held it in the palm of his hand and contemplated the inevitable. 

“I dunno buddy, you reckon I should open it?” Jake asked as he kissed his son's head. “S’not Christmas anymore.” The Naval Aviator had recently shaved his head, it had been the closest to a number one he’d ever had. It was in solidarity, union. A decision he made in the blink of an eye but one he did not regent or ever would. 

“We haven’t taken the tree down yet,” Lucy added her two cents into the conversation as she laid her head on her father’s thigh. “Mum would be upset if you didn’t open it, Dad.” Jake knew that much was true, you probably would be pretty bent out of shape if he never opened it. 

“Alright, I’d better open it then huh?” Jake shook the small perfectly wrapped box he could hold in the palm of his hand. He heard what sounded like a rock rattle inside. His heart nearly exploded inside his chest. 

Fuck….Jake knew what it was and he really didn’t want to open it. 

“Hey, Dad?” Lucy’s voice sounded completely different to anything Jake had ever heard before. She was looking right at him yet her eyes were trained on something one hundred miles away. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Jake replied just as he was about to open the present you’d given him before his life was turned upside down. 

“You need to wake up now,” Lucy’s voice sounded familiar, but it wasn’t her own. “You’ve had enough time here,” 

“What are you talking about Lu?” Jake frowned as he looked at his daughter. An extension of himself and you. “Lucy? Are you feeling okay?” 

“You’ll be a good dad soon,” Lucy smiled as she unwrapped the small ring box in Jake’s hand. The ring box that held what Jake assumed to be your engagement ring. But as little Lucy opened the wrapping, a blinding light burst through the cracks. A light so bright it forced Jake to squint. 

“Please wake up, honey,” Jake heard your voice clear as day as Lucy opened the ring box to send a piercing white light into the living room. Jake was completely captured by the light around him. So much so the entire room was drowned in a light so pure it was crystal clear. He couldn’t see a single thing beyond the all-encompassing white. 

“Please wake up for us,” again your voice was the only thing Jake could hear in the void he found himself in. 

“Y/n?” Jake called out into the void around him. He could feel his ribcage breaking like he couldn't breathe. Every breath he took was agony. “Hello?” Yet he could hear your voice. A voice he longed for. A voice he had to get back to. Jake had to get to you. 

“I’m here, you’re alright,” Jake once again heard your angelic siren song. His head began to throb. The feeling was agonising. Like there was no more room for swelling. 

“Where are you?” Jake called out as he stumbled in the light. The smell of burning flesh mixed with jet fuel overcame Jake’s senses. His need to get to you was more powerful than the deep bone ache he could feel in his legs. There was nothing on earth or beyond that would stop Jake from getting to wherever the hell you were calling him from. His entire body ached with a pain so unimaginable it sent him to his knees. Crawling, Jake cried out for you just one more time. 

“Y/n!?” Jake called out once more in a desperate attempt to find you in the void. “Kids?” 

“Here he comes,” Bradley’s voice echoed out as Jake looked up towards where he assumed the sky would be. The glare was too much. Jake placed his forearms over his forehead to soften the brightness. “Come on Hangman, don't leave us out to dry.” 

Some people spend their whole lives trying to make a dream come true. They set a goal and make a plan on how to achieve it. It works for some people. But for others, it’s not so easy. As hard as they work toward the dream, it can feel like the whole world has plotted against them. 

As someone gets further and further away from the dream, people begin to cling to any sign of hope. And the longer it takes and the more it costs…you start to consider whether you should give up. Do you find a new dream? Or do you stick to the one that started you on this journey in the first place? 

For Jake, things weren’t as black and white. 

As Jake closed his eyes and took one painful last breath in, he felt as if he’d fallen from cloud nine. When he opened his eyes, the light was still there….But he wasn’t.

Jake’s eyelids fluttered, the faintest hint of light creeping through the haze of his mind. He tried to move, but his body felt foreign as if it wasn’t entirely his own. The weight of unconsciousness clung to him, reluctant to release its hold. Slowly, he became aware of the sounds around him—

“Jake, It’s me, can you hear me?”

**********************

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream

@maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional

@jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere @withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog

@a-reader-and-a-writer @sunlightmurdock @shelbycillian @memoriesat30 @accioprocrastination

@the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes @eternallyvenus @emma8895eb @kmc1989 @avengersgirllorianna

[mlyscha]

hello! I wanted to request a riki fic inspired by the song from the start by laufey! like in a high school au. I'm so sorry if my explanation is off I'm not good at that stuff 😞 I LOVE YOUR WRITING!!

𝒰𝗇𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝖾𝖽, 𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖿𝗂𝖾𝖽!

( ENHYPEN ── 𝒻𝗼𝗿. 𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐎 ) ౨ৎ ℐ𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 . . . you loved riki from the start, suffering the consequences of it. 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾 : angst. 𝓌𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌! unrequited love, reader and riki's family is vaguely implied to be wealthy, heeseung is reader's older brother & interpretative ending. ( 𝗐𝖼. 38OO ) 𝓮𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮' … 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗈𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽, 𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁 𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋-𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝖺𝗀𝖾 ༘ . 𝒻! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋.

( 愛 ) 𝒻𝗿𝗼��. @starizzm ⸝⸝

𝒶-𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲. OMG I LOVED WRITING THIS REQUEST!! as i was listening to from the start by laufey, lots of ideas just began to pop in my head lolz i hope you enjoy reading this and thank you for your compliment >< you're always so sweet! <3

𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝗉𝗉𝗈𝗋𝗍! ♡ 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾&𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀&𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍.

TODAY FELT LIKE ANOTHER TRIVIAL day at school. you haven't done much besides thinking about your crush: nishimura riki. he is your brother's classmate and you have known him since you were a little girl.

so little that, even though you two have never talked for more than a half an hour alone, you fell in love. you remember sneaking into your neighbour's garden and stealing fresh flowers to gift him or how often you asked you mother to make sugar biscuits; so you could give it to him and hopefully make your brother's best friend fall in love with you. and you remember how often you dreamed of confessing as if you two were ditto.

you were written something down on your notebook when you heard someone entering the classroom, quickly occupying the seat in front of you. everything happened so suddenly that you couldn't even process how close that person was from you.

and then, that deep voice of your crush echoed, fitting itself in the room like a glove. "what are you doing, flower?" the way that pet name came out of his mouth made your heart pound. you looked up and replied: "i am just doodling and writing... i am kind of bored..." you say, but then at the same second you frown.

"what happened to you? are you sick?" you watched riki frowning this time. "what do you mean, silly?" he chuckled, holding your hand. "i am just talking to you," you hum in understatement, gulping down tightly as you felt his thumb rub the back of your hand.

"what are you doing?" you asked, making him chuckle again. "i am sensing you are not a fan of affection..." riki says, and as soon as you realised he was about to leave your hand, you grabbed his and held it. "oh...? so you do like affection, flower..." you look down, embarrassed by his teasings.

thinking all of that situation was weird, you question him: "what do you want? i am not writing your essay again, neither do your history homework! you're a grade above me anyway..." you disengaged and he scoffed. "it's a pity how little you think of me, beautiful..."

"why are you calling me that...?" "you are curious little one aren't you?" he smirks, looking down at you and cupping your cheeks after standing up from the chair, standing in front of you. "y/n, you want to know a little secret?" riki asks you in a alluring voice, making you nod as you focus on him. he smiles before leaning his head closer to your face. "you have to keep this secret, okay?" you nodded again, hypnotised. "good," he pauses. "i am in love with yo..."

THE SOUND OF YOUR ALARM has you falling from bed, whining as you hit your face on the ground. "ouch!" you groan. "you fell from your bed again, y/n?!" your brother's voice reached your room from the bathroom. "what do you think?!" you yell back, standing on your feet with a grumpy face. "by your face i would assume: yes." he says, walking in your room.

"go shower and get yourself ready, you stink," when he was just about to walk out of your room, he adds: "and, i almost forgot that riki is picking us up, make sure to get ready in a blink of an eye!" finally, he leaves the room and lets you have some space to process what he has said.

hearing that name you recapped the dream you have just waken up from. you were used to dreaming about him confessing to you. however, you weren't sure why your dreams always finished before he could say: "you"── odd, but nothing to be worried about.

after a big stretch you began your day by taking a quick shower and dress up; following the next step which is make up. after finishing all steps, you sprayed some perfume and went downstairs to have breakfast with your family.

"hello, sweetheart! how was your sleep?" you mum asks you, placing a small peck on your cheek. "uh, great, and yours?" "could've be great if your father and i didn't have to plan our next business trip," you mother sigh. "i wish i could spend more time with you and your brother..." "stop being dramatic!" your father jokingly says, making your mum gasp but laugh.

"oh, i made your favourite biscuits, y/n!" "really?!" your eyes widened a bit, excited about giving them to riki. "of course! make sure to share with your friends, okay?" you hummed making your mum smile.

A SHORT TIME AFTER BREAKFAST riki arrived at your house just in time── his private driver driving the three of you. you were sat on the right while heeseung sat between you and riki. you were holding the small tupperware your mum put the biscuits with a tight grip, holding yourself to hand it to riki 'till lunch time.

the drive was calm, yet, awkward── like usual ──since you kept yourself quiet while your brother and his friend kept talking.

the exact moment three of you entered school, a group of girls stopped to greet riki and your brother── since both of them are pretty popular among the girls. and you? you stood there awkwardly existing, admiring how communicative your crush were; even though he has this nonchalant personality.

your chest hurt: realising he has never smiled to you as pretty as he just smiled to a girl walking beside him. her name is yoonchae, and she is the prettiest girl you have ever seen in your life. you looked away once riki turned to glance at the sight burning his skin through his white uniform shirt.

once you reached your classroom, like the usual, your brother stopped in front of the door, watching you wave at him── secretly hoping riki would do the same like the old times when kids: but he has never done since he turn into a grown up.

heeseung sensing your disappointment, he nudged the japanese boy with his elbow, discreetly nodding his head at your seated figure. you quickly turned your head away from the sight of them, embarrassed.

however, you heard the familiar deep voice call your name: "hey, y/n," you looked over at him. "have a great class today!" he said, giving you a closed smile, lacking enthusiasm. you shyly smiled and nodded your head, thanking him while trying to hold in the pain of being shoot with a cupid's arrow.

your brother glanced at you and smiled and that smile of his always makes you feel that he knew how much you liked his best friend (deep inside). and even though it is indeed something easy to see, you thought you kept things discreet and simple── until you turned seven and realised how obvious you were mostly of the time.

"hi, pookie!" your best friend poked you. "what ya' thinking about?" she asked, sitting on her desk by your side. "nothing much, mei..." you reply, pursing your lips. she hums.

"is it riki again? who got you upset? what did he do?!" mei squinted her eyes, ready to fight the black haired boy. "he has done nothing," you let out a nasal chuckle. "like usual..." you roll your eyes, sighing.

your friend pouted, worried about you once she realised how down you looked. "y/n, if you keep liking him i will-" "what if i tattoo his name on my forehead?" you glance over mei, who leans her head back and turns back to you in shock.

"what?! are you serious? i mean, you can tattoo his name, but not on your forehead!" "mhm... what if i boil write his name on a paper and boil it in water?" you suggest excitedly. "oh my god, y/n, think on something else!" "something else? like... hypnosis?" "no!" she kisses her teeth. " what if you just confessed to him?!"

your shoulders tensed up and your face dropped. you sighed, pondering. "i think i am not rea-" "don't tell me you're not ready── liking him for more than a decade! you can't be serious right now!" mei argues.

"i know, mei, i am just..." you look down to your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. "scared," "but-" "can we talk about this later?" you look at your friend with pleading eyes and she purses her lips, feeling empathy. "sure, i just don't want to see you hurt, okay?" she smiles, covering your hands with hers.

YOU AND MEI WERE JUST about to walk out of the class to grab lunch, when your brother walked in with riki and yoonchae── that girl from earlier. "let's have lunch together?" "ye-yeah, i was just about to look for you guys," you reply. "you didn't even have to come up here anyway." heeseung chuckles. "just making sure you eat, alright? let's go."

you noticed how close riki and that girl looked, smiling at each other like sneaky lovers just hiding secrets.

your brother's arm was placed across your shoulders, snuggling you closer to his chest, somehow trying to turn your face away from the sight of them. meanwhile, mei kept walking by your side, chatting with you and your brother enthusiastically. however, the only thing you could think about and notice yoonchae and your crush walking side by side a few steps behind.

"can i eat those biscuits too?" your brother's voice echoed. you glanced down to the small biscuits tupperware you were holding. "what do you think?" you sarcastically ask him. humming, he replies: "i think because i am your brother i can have all of them," heeseung steals it from you, holding it high from your reach.

you scoff, mocking his childish action, completely ignoring his teases. "give it back," you display your palm, waiting for him to hand it back to you── in which he did, frowning as mei and him traded confused eye sights, thinking that your behaviour was curious.

WHILE SITTING ON THE CAFETERIA'S bench, heeseung and your friend couldn't stop looking at each other while watching your quiet behaviour, since you were always more comfortable to be yourself/talkative when your best friend was there.

heeseung gestures to your friend, signalising he wanted to talk to her. "guys, i'll buy something sweet, alright? i'll be right back," heeseung said── the three of you nodding. standing up from the bench, he glances at your friend.

"oh, really? i'll go with you then, i am craving something sweet!" mei felt you holding her hand, asking her to not leave. "it's going to be fast," "i am going with you," "no, finish your lunch, otherwise you'll fell sick." and then she follows your brother to a corner, doing her best to ignore your pleading eyes.

"gosh, this conversation better be quick── otherwise i think i might die," mei says, looking at you sitting there while hugging yourself. "okay, do you know anything? i mean, did y/n tell you something?"

"ugh, i hate this because-" she glances at heeseung with a scrunched nose, pondering if she should tell him. "heeseung, you have to promise me you won't tell y/n i told you this, but..." mei sighs before revealing: "y/n likes- no, i mean, she loves riki. a lot." she explains. "and i think this has something to do with him being close to yoonchae,"

"i knew it!" he whispers-yells and mei's eyes widens. "i were almost sure you knew, but i didn't know you were that enthusiastic about it," she says. "anyway, what should we do to help her then?" "you got my number right?" he asks and she cocks a brow, nodding. "good, we can discuss about it later-"

"discuss what?" "AHHHH!" "OH MY GOD, Y/N!" "you scared us!" "were you guys talking about me?" "WHAT?!" heeseung and mei looked at each other like accomplices, nervously pondering what do say. "look, y/n-"

"don't tell me..." you gasped. "you two were making out?!" both of them became silent, processing. "i kne-!" "you knew nothing because there is nothing going on! let's go back, y/n!" mei began to walk you back to the table, looking angrily back at heeseung while he discreetly laughed.

THE BELL RANG, MAKING EVERYONE feel relieved and happy that another busy day at school finished. you sighed as you began to pack your belongings.

"are you good to go?" your best friend asked, patiently waiting for you to leave class with her. you nodded, standing up from your chair and hanging your backpack on your shoulder. "ugh, i can't wait to go home!" mei groans, grasping onto your arm as both of you walk out of class. "do you want a ri-"

"y/n!" your brother's voice echoed through the halls and you couldn't help but roll your eyes with annoyance, looking back where the voice came from. "where are you going not waiting for me?"

"what do you mean? we are going to the same house, i don't need to wait for you like a little girl." you glance over at the japanese boy standing beside heeseung, focus on his phone── texting someone.

heeseung, meanwhile, just chuckled at your attitude. "stop acting like this, bubs," he messes up with your hair. "let's go, shall we?" he nudges riki with his shoulder and you frown your brows a little bit.

THE RIDE BACK HOME WAS quiet, just like earlier. riki and heeseung kept talking and like the usual you kept quiet, holding onto your biscuit's tupperware── untouched.

once the car parked in front of your house, you and heeseung exited the car, thanking riki. the japanese boy smiled, saying it was nothing and wishing a good night.

walking in your house, the smell of fresh savoury food reached you from the entrance. "honey! the kids arrived!" your mum's sweet voice came from the kitchen, calling your father. "hello, my babies," your mother greeted both of you, picking up the thrown backpacks and putting it away in a basket. "alright, both of you go shower so we can have dinner, okay?"

GOING DOWNSTAIRS FOLLOWING THE DELICIOUS smell trail, you encountered your whole family united at the dinning room, organising the dinner table. "oh, hello, sweetie," your mum's sight laid on you. "take a seat!" she says with a big smile.

"how was class today?" your dad ask both of you. "good," "normal," "how boring! here, i made steak today to help on your guys 'teenager mood'," she jokes and the old man laughs. "teenager mood is a great one!" he says and your mum chuckles. "i know," she pauses as she sits on the table. "help yourselves!"

even though you were considerably hungry, the sight of riki that touchy with another girl bothered you. it's not like you two have something even that special that could make you worry that much, but you── unfortunately ──had big expectations since a kid against your relationship with him. it hurts. it really does.

you weren't expecting to ever have to experience an awkward silence with him as much as you began experiencing. you weren't expecting to be looked at like you were nothing but a burden when it's just the two of you and no one else in the room. you weren't expecting to be nothing either.

"how about you, y/n?" your mother's voice echoed, waking you up from your trance. "oh? yeah, it is..." "you haven't touched your food yet," heeseung wheezed, leading to a dirty look from you. "just the thought of you is delicious!" you explain yourself, making your mum chuckle. "it's okay, honey, just eat."

"oh, i noticed you haven't eaten the biscuits i have baked this morning, sweetie... did it taste bad?" your mum asked apprehensive. you sigh, smiling. "no, mum, i just had a upset stomach..." "oh... okay..."

"is there any interesting girl in your school, son?" your father questions your brother. "that i am liking? no, not at the moment," heeseung shrugs. "has your friend found anyone?"

you choke on your water, coughing uncontrollably. your mother pats your back and asks if you were okay. "excuse me," you say, standing up from your seat and sprinting to the bathroom.

once you locked yourself in the bathroom, you soaked your face with water, trying to process the question you weren't ready to hear the answer── thinking about the possibly right answer leaving your brother's mouth scared you.

you stood there in front of the mirror for a good three minutes, leaving the room with a deep breath, recomposing yourself and finishing dining with empty thoughts.

YOU WERE UPSTAIRS IN YOUR room finishing the book you have read a few times before. feeling a sense of boredom, you made your way to your brother's room, knocking on his door.

"so that's what i tol- oh wait a second, bro, y/n is here," heeseung opened the door while holding his phone up at his ear. "what is it, missy?" putting his phone down, he gently pulls you in to enter, shutting the door as you did so.

"i am kind of bored── just wanted to make a little visit," heeseung frowns. "okay? lay down, i am doing a school project." "i won't bother," you surrender yourself, plopping on his bed.

while laying on heeseung's bed, you started to feel sleepy. something about the soothing voice he was talking to behind the phone and the noise his keyboard was making── everything so relaxing. with that, you took advantage of the environment and decided to take a nap before returning to your room later.

however, you began to hear a suspicious conversation brewing, growing your earbuds as soon as you heard: "you know, yoonchae has texted me earlier saying that," riki paused, the noise of sheets echoing from the phone── like he were moving himself around. "- she wanted to make it official soon," he sighs. "and now, i am not sure what to do..."

"what do you mean? you told me you were in love with her like... yesterday and for the past three months...?" "i know but-" he takes another deep sigh. "i know she is pretty, we have the greatest connection, she is smart as fuck── like: straight up, perfect, but now i don't know how i should make it official, you know? what if i don't reach her expectations?"

"riki, if she likes you, she won't accept anything less than your best, that's all i have to say." you heard your crush whining. "i'll see what i can do then."

"are you planning to ask her when?" "i think," riki paused, humming as he though. "this weekend── i'll probably ask her out on a date and confess; give her a ring and all."

"okay, i got to go now, it's getting late and y/n is sleeping on my bed," you heard riki chuckling. "alright, see you tomorrow." "see you, bro, good luck."

once you heard heeseung standing up from his chair you closed your eyes shut── feeling a few tears streaming down, wetting a already soaked spot on your brother's bed; from all the tears that have streamed down your face the moment you began to hear their conversation.

"y/n? wake up, go back to your-" "i am awake," you opened your eyes, slowly sitting on the edge of his bed. "oh...? were you?" you watched your brother's voice shaky and his throat swallowing dry.

do you recognise the sound of glass shattering? and how about the pain after it hits you? it hurts right? it hurts even more when the glass shattering is your heart and a stupid sharp piece of it stabbing your chest a billion times, leaving you numb── paralysed. not even your tears being felt at this point.

"since-?" "since everything." you stood up from his bed, standing on your toes while sobbing. "you knew, didn't you?" you scoffed in disbelief. "you always knew how much i liked him..." "y/n, you know all i do is to protect yo-"

"SHUT UP!" you snap. "YOU ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE A FUCKING KID!" you take a few steps back from where you brother stood, disgusted. "that's why riki never perceived me as a woman... IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" suddenly, you felt big arms hugging you. "it's all your fault..." you sob as you grow weak.

"you don't mean it..." "i mean it," you whisper. "I FUCKING MEAN IT!" you try to push him away from you, but he doesn't let you do that, holding you tighter. "i am sorry, i am so sorry."

the last thing you remember is being held by your brother while crying your eyes off.

YOU WERE SITTING ON THE bench of a nearby park, appreciating the sunset view while trying to forget what has happened. you woke up today feeling blue and with swollen eyes, deciding to call it a day and refusing to go to school.

suddenly you feel a presence by your side: riki. "are you okay? heeseung told me you were going to be here and that i should've pick you up." he asks and you look away. "aren't you going to talk to me?" you kept quiet. "is that so? mhm... look at me then," you feel his thumb brush against the skin of your neck, gently pulling it to look at you.

"did i do something that bothered── bothers you?" you glance at him with teary eyes. "why are you crying?" he runs his thumb against the blush of your cheeks.

"you lied to me..." you say with a weak voice, muffled like. "you lied to me saying that you would like me someday..." you watch him frown. "what do you mean, y/n?" "you told me you would like me the day i confessed to you." "oh? that? you were six and i was eight, what did you expect? i thought you were joking," he chuckles.

"but i wasn't kidding── at all," you sniffled. "yesterday you and heeseung broke my heart..." you confess. "i should've known better," you chuckle, feeling pathetic. "the way you look at me stabs me like the sharpest knife." "what do you...?" "like a reminder you don't feel the same."

a few seconds into an awkward silence you confess: "i loved you from the start, riki," "y/n, i-" "since day one; my whole life, riki! i can't stop thinking about you since we were kids!"

YOU SLOWLY WOKE UP FROM your dream yelling something you couldn't recover. you look around your room but immediately lay your head down on your pillow, staring to the blue while thinking about the dream you just had── different from many others where riki always tried to tell you a secret.

therefore, this time, since this time he hasn't mentioned anything about this secret, you thought for a little bit and realised you might have already found out── that he likes yoonchae. so that 'yo' was never supposed to sound close to 'you'... wow, how depressing.

© 𝓪𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝓮, 𝗺𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗮 𝗌𝓽𝓾𝖽𝗂𝗈𝓼. ⋆ 24.

[lynzishell]

My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 30 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024🎉 (because rules were made to be broken)

TYSM for tagging me @herecirmsims, @elderwisp, and @changingplumbob 💖 As per usual, I went overboard... oops!

Before I forget -- I am going to tag @honeyjars-sims, @raiiny-bay, @havenroyals, @likelyamused, and @dandylion240 (ofc, feel free to ignore me if you've already done it, or if you just don't wanna)

JANUARY

We started the year in Sulani where Phoenix and Dawn got engaged! Let us all take a moment to remember the glory that was Phoenix with a tan 😍

I call this - My Love Affair with Brindleton Bay (Part 1)

I love them. This isn't even the greatest screenshot, but it will forever be one of my favorites. One day I will put together a collage of forehead kisses for these two.

FEBRUARY

My Love Affair with Brindleton Bay (Part 2)

Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi were always happy to steal focus when I needed to blur things happening in the background... 😏

Atlas forever being the best uncle in the world... and fascinated with his niece having his eyes

MARCH

Me peeking through the foliage while Phoenix introduces his wife and child to his mom... the only way he knows how 🥺🤍

APRIL

😂 Ok so March and April are pretty sparse... I took a break in the Spring because I was going through a breakup and a move. I spent that time focusing on things that made me happy - like writing The Past arc for the boys and laughing at Dawn's ridiculous in-game expressions ���

MAY

I'm so glad I took that break because I was able to come back and give Phoenix and Dawn the wedding they deserved! I also LOVE these last two shots... After the party ended, those three were goofing off and having so much fun... and then giving Phoenix the MOST thoughtful gift... it still makes me tear up! 🥹

JUNE

And so it begins... This nightmare sequence was so much fun to put together! And this shot is by far my favorite... it was totally by accident, but oh so perfect

The Past my beloved... I love this shot sm... the morning light, the fall colors, Ash and Lex being Ash and Lex while Atlas tags along behind them (he'd only known Ash for 24 hours and was already crushing... poor boy didn't stand a chance)

Oh yeah! Remember Chestnut Ridge?! The way I jumped around in this part istg... You're all incredible for putting up with me this summer 😂 Okay but I love this one because of how all the animals are turned to look at Danny... again, a total accident, but perfectly foreshadows what I have in mind for his future!

Back the The Past - What's perfect about this one is how the only thing in focus is where they are touching.

I’m acutely aware that his leg is resting against me now, and he’s rolling the fabric of my sleeve between his thumb and middle finger. Normally, I would have already scooted away from the sofa. Pivoted my body so the conversation could continue, but so that I could not be touched. But I don’t feel any need to do that. Not with him. His affection is so subtle and absent-minded; I can tell he’s just feeling comfortable with me. Something about that makes me feel comfortable with him too.

JULY

AHHHHHH!!! I still lose my mind over this moment!!! Like... the way physical touch plays such a big role throughout this arc, and getting to see Atlas evolve from someone who always kept his distance from people to being the affectionate teddy bear he is today... and the way Ash is so sweet and mindful and considerate through it all...

And then I look down, down to where I feel his hand come to rest on my leg, the heat of it warming my thigh. “Is that okay?” He asks, “Do you want me to move my hand?” I look up into his eyes and shake my head slightly, “No. No, it’s okay.”

THEIR FIRST KISS!!!!! The tippy toes pls!!! 😭 I'm not gonna lie.... I forgot the entire purpose of this post and am now lost to reminiscing... I already miss this arc so much!!!

Taking my time, I brush my lips lightly against his before kissing him softly. Holding myself back, not because I’m unsure, but because I’ve never been more certain of anything. I want to savor this moment, commit it to memory so I can revisit it tomorrow, and every day after.

A brief look into The Present as these two make plans for the future that I will inevitably ruin for them because I felt compelled to go into CAS and play around with genetics and rewrite the entire ending to this arc. Sorry not sorry boys!

aaaand back to The Past for our first peek at Ash's POV as he realizes he may be falling for Atlas

Y’know, my biggest fear is drowning, especially in the ocean, and yet, my favorite place is the beach near my parents’ house, sitting right at the water’s edge. Being with Atlas, it reminds me of this place. The bright blue of his eyes, the sandy color of his hair, and the dusting of freckles across his nose. And the way being near him makes me feel just a little nervous, like at any moment I could get swept away and lose myself completely.

AUGUST

Oh yeah! Chestnut Ridge and Joey's cliche dad-logic moment! Seriously guys... thank you for putting up with my nonsense... But OMG! Did you know you can set the horses to buck riders off every time they try to get on? 10/10 recommend if you need a laugh! I had so much fun with this scene... Phoenix, on the other hand, did not 🫣

This one. You have no idea. I struggled SO MUCH with trying to figure this scene out... and only those in our discord writing group will know how I lost my mind when these poses were released and gave me the inspiration I needed... I'm pretty sure I shot this scene a month before I even started this arc because I couldn't get it out of my head... I should also add that these two died in process of making it, and I fucked up this lot while trying to place all the lights and decos via TOOL and had to start all over in another save (which worked out because the Romance Festival spawned in the new one making it all so much better and more lively)... I went through a lot for this shot, and I will hold it near and dear to my heart forever as a result.

SEPTEMBER

Just them. Holding hands. In The Present. 🥹 I just like this one a lot... it's actually the desktop background on my PC lol

A hazy dream in neon pink

Don't worry... they're JUST FRIENDS (who are clearly in love with each other and on mdma and suddenly can't keep their hands off each other)

As he backs himself against the wall, pulling me into him, I finally understand. “Is this okay?” he asks. I lean in so fast that I practically breathe the answer into his mouth, “Yeah,” and before I know it, we’re making out again. But this time is far more intense, our kisses deeper, our breathing ragged, our hands grabbing fistfuls of hair and clothing and clawing at skin as though our desire for each other has grown into some kind of wild animal. Finally free from its cage, there’s no going back now.

💛🩵💛🩵 What am I doing again? I think I've lost the plot...

OCTOBER

Oh yeah... fave screenshots of 2024! We're so back! San Myshuno my beloved

The Proposal 😭 Spoiler alert... they were never "just friends" ajsdkakljs Also, I had to exit and go back in game three times to keep those bright red/orange skies for this scene... worth it!

NOVEMBER

A glimpse of The Future... and bb is confused af

DECEMBER

Things are different now in ways they don't quite understand, but they have each other 🥹🩵💛

For the rest of our lives, we're in this together.

[shyamanuensis]

love your work! any chance for some sad sebastian? you write sad ominis with such grace i'd love a little more drama if possible. xoxoxox

I swear someone is listening in on the conversations @eva-fitzgerald and I have because we literally were talking about this earlier today. A lazy oneshot written in the car as we drive home for Christmas. Enjoy xx

“So, what do I tell everyone if you don’t come home one night?” “The truth – that I died doing my job.”

The small black box I held in my hands was standard government issue. A ‘goodbye box’ was what most widows of ministry workers called them, however only being engaged, I wasn’t sure the lingo applied in my situation. What was usually delivered by a high-end ministry official, had been brought by instead by his best friend. Waking up to the sound of knocking at my cottage door a little after 3am, Ominis was the last person I expected to be standing there. His choice of words deliberate – tone cold, yet soft as he spoke. As if hearing what he was saying with a more sympathetic, yet straightforward voice would make things easier. However, irrespective of what he saw, experienced and recollected throughout the current ongoing wizarding war; it was obvious that the requirement of delivering bad news never got easier.

“And you think the kids will understand?” “Sweetheart, I’m doing this for them.”

Stumbling back into the house, I left the door open for Ominis to follow through and took a seat on a sofa; balancing the small black box on the tops of my thighs as hands cradled the lid to lift it and peek inside. I could feel my breathing hitch, my skin begin to burn, hot tears fall into the corners of my eyes. I knew however, I had to stay quiet and not wake the sleeping toddlers in their bedrooms. Feeling Ominis hand on my shoulder; gently rubbing as it travelled along onto my back I sighed softly, knowing this day would have to one day come.

“Sebastian you’re being unreasonable.” “No, you just aren’t being supportive.”

The first thing my eyes flickered over in the box was his auror badge; employee number etched into the back as if that’s all he was. Beside this, the trusty broken teal checkerboard wand handle I knew had failed him. There were a few folded pieces of parchment, notes maybe or letters unsent. Beneath them a photo of the children poking out from behind the cover of a leather-bound journal I’d one day bring myself to read. That was what made the first tears fall. In silence. The photograph of the children.

“You know what, I’m sick of this argument. Just... go.” “Promise you, we’ll talk more about it when I get home.”

Closing the lid; I managed to keep it together only barely as I placed the box on the coffee table and picked nervously at my lips. A quick look at Ominis which held vulnerability, naivety and despair without a single word spoken had him responding that he’d stay until the children woke up; knowing that right now, solitude was not what I needed. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sighed dryly, remembering our last conversation before Sebastian left for work the previous evening. A heated argument: words left unsaid, tensions high as they had been the last few weeks; knowing through whispers, rumours and phone calls what he’d be dealing with and going through.

“…fine.” “I love you.”

I’d never have the chance to turn back time and reply. The image of him leaving home for work one I’d forever have etched into the back of my mind. We’d promised each other we’d never argue before work or before going to bed; but the regret of our last conversation would haunt me now forever. Ominis rubbed my knee gently before whispering that he’d go and check on the kids. And once alone; in the darkness of this house with a fireplace dying out which no longer felt like a home, the cries came crashing down uncontrollably.

[im-so-normal-iswear]

helloooo, can we have shadow x a reader who tends to get sick a lot maybe?

A/n: I really wanted to make this angsty, but then I remember I'm really bad at writing angst 💔💔

Shadow x reader who gets sick often

"Hmph, you ahould take better care of yourself"

Shadows voice rang as he turned the corner with medicine and water in hand. You got sick often. Today you were immobilized in bed from how sick you were.

"I try to." Was all you could say before going into another coughing fit and sighing.

He set the water down, opening the medicine and shaking some out onto his hand.

"Take this"

He handed them to you, shakily you took it with one hand, grabbing the glass of water and taking a sip as you swallowed the pills, before slumping back on the bed.

He gave you a short glance before turning away, muttering under his breath.

Not that he would ever admit it, but he really did hate how you seemed to always be sick. Sure he cares enough to help you out but it irritates him.

It reminds him too much of her. Maria.

Don't get it wrong, he doesnt view you as her, but he cant help but note how similar you are to her in those ways. Small comparisons here and there.

Its not even you getting sick so much that truely bothers him, its how nonchalant you are about it that irks him. Thats the real similarity he makes internally alot.

When your sick, wether or not its on the more serious flus, or just a common cold, youre always insisting your fine, waving off any and all questions, or concerns unless you cant get out of bed. It really irritates him.

He knows. He knows that not a single time your sick will amount to how serious marias illness was, but he still finds a bit of comfort in being able to take care of you when your like this. Being able to help you get better, something he couldn't do for Maria.

Shadow sat down on the chair beside your bed, arms crossed and his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. He wasn’t one for lingering, but he wouldntvoeave, not yet at least. The sound of your heavy breathing filled the room, and despite how many times he’d heard it before, it still made something in his chest tighten uncomfortably.

He told himself it wasn’t a big deal. You were stubborn, yes, and entirely too casual about your health, but you’d get better. You always did. He was here to ensure tthat though in the back of his mind he saw Maria there in that bed, just for a moment.

It was Maria all over again. The way she’d insist she was fine. The way she’d laugh, even as her hands trembled. The way her light was slowly extinguished while he could do nothing but stand by and watch.

His fists clenched.

"Shadow?"

Your voice broke through the haze of his thoughts. He looked up, startled, and immediately schooled his features into something neutral. You were watching him with a tired expression, your head tilted slightly.

"You’re zoning out," you murmured, pulling the blanket up higher as a shiver ran through you. "What’s on your mind?"

"Nothing," he replied curtly, his tone sharper than he intended. "Just… rest."

You didn’t argue, though your brows furrowed in concern. Closing your eyes, you nestled further into the covers, your breathing steadying as exhaustion overtook you.

Shadow watched you for a moment longer before standing abruptly. He needed air.

The hallways were quiet, the faint patter of rain against the windows the only sound accompanying him as he paced. His mind raced, memories he’d long since buried clawing their way to the surface.

"Shadow, it’s okay! I’m fine, really.”l"

Maria’s voice echoed in his ears, so vibrant, so full of life despite the context. He remembered the way she’d beam at him, even when confined to the cold, sterile walls of the ARK. Her insistence that she was "okay" had been both infuriating and inspiring, her strength something he admired and resented in equal measure.

He knows your not maria. But seeing you in bed sick and unmoving...

He couldn’t let the past repeat itself.

[applespants]

Hotel Room Service {NSFW}

Orion Pax x D-16

Read on Ao3 Here!

Word Count: 4.9k (under the cut)

Summary: Orion Pax has promised D-16 a night to remember, and D-16 makes sure that he's thoroughly prepared. (NSFW!! Minors DNI)

A/N: these robots have taken over my BRAIN!! i took some inspo from the lovely @archie-sunshine and his stunning art here for a certain part of this fic hehe but i also just wanted to write some porn for the holidays cuz who doesn't want some horny robots as a gift? LOL anyways i hope y'all enjoy this one i had a ton of fun writing it!! have a lovely holiday if you celebrate!! :D

---

D-16 walked quickly through the streets of Iacon, avoiding the surrounding bots’ optics. He was on the hunt for a gift for Orion Pax, but he could feel his spark hammering in his chest as he stepped closer and closer toward the red-light district.

Dee, I really want to have a whole night with you. Just the two of us! Orion’s voice echoed in D-16’s processor as he slowed his pace, taking in the neon lights of the street. We won’t have to worry about anyone walking in on us. We could even–

D-16 gulped as he stared down the street. There were hardly any other bots, but the noisy clamor of activity still echoed. The shop signs were almost all made with neon lights, but most were not on. He slowly began to walk down the street, then did a quick scan of his surroundings. After deciding there were no bots that he recognized or that would care about his presence, he continued down the street.

There were several couples walking down the street, arms linked, though he was not sure of the exact relationship status of most of them. He tried to avoid locking optics with any of them, looking for a shop that would have what he was looking for.

He came across the window of a particular storefront and peeked in, seeing a wide variety of different interface toys and special interface accessories. The neon sign was on above, signaling that it was open. D-16 took a deep breath and glanced side-to-side once more, then entered the store.

D-16 fiddled with his thumbs awkwardly as he walked into the store, tried to redirect his optics anywhere that did not have some sort of interface toy, and failed miserably. There were so many different colors and shapes and sizes of so many different vibrators and plugs and dildos… D-16 was immediately overwhelmed by the options.

“Hello there!” D-16’s helm whipped around and he was met with a shorter bot that was too close in his personal space. The bot grinned when he noticed the look on D-16’s face and made a gesture behind him to a display filled with a variety of dildos. “Welcome to Dipstick’s Deviant Delights! My name’s Dipstick. How can I help you today?”

The last thing D-16 had been expecting from an interface shop was customer service. He blinked and swallowed the lump in his intake, trying to find any sort of words to communicate what he was looking for.

Dipstick waved a servo. “Are you in here for just yourself or for a partner?”

D-16 felt his spark beating faster as he thought of Orion. Oh Primus, what would Orion even like? D-16 should have thought it through more before making the whole trek to the red-light district, but it was too late for second guessing now.

“Uhm… my partner…”

Dipstick nodded and held his chin with his servo. “Nice, nice… So what are you two into?”

D-16 froze. “Pardon?”

“You seem like you’re into oral,” Dipstick observed casually, making D-16’s faceplate heat immensely. “Perhaps a flavored lubricant? I have a selection of ones that sensitize the valve and node. I also have a wide variety of vibrators for internal stimulation if you’d like to stimulate your partner's valve while you work your glossa."

“I-I don’t– My partner, he–” D-16 stammered, his servos making stiff gestures as he tried to formulate a proper response. He took a deep breath. “Do you have any… uhm… node vibrators?”

Dipstick nodded, a small grin growing on his face. “We do, indeed! Our bullets are the most popular, but wands are a good investment as well…” Dipstick guided D-16 over to the selection of vibrators for external stimulation and waved a servo. “Please let me know if you need anything else!”

D-16 nodded and released a shaky breath once Dipstick walked out of sight. D-16 looked at the shelf of vibrators, but he did not dare touch any. He had done a bit of his own research before coming in, so he had a rough idea of what to get, but there was such an overwhelming variety of options that he found himself struggling to pick.

D-16 found himself drawn to a purple wand vibrator and slowly reached for it. It was still in the package, but it looked good on the cover of the box. There were a few settings and it lit up on the head, and D-16 decided it was good for what he was looking for.

D-16 glanced around the rest of the store, looking for anything else that might be of interest for himself or Orion. His optics wandered toward the back of the store, where there was a selection of interface accessories. Before he realized his pedes were moving, he was facing the wall and looking at the different items.

There were so many and most of them D-16 did not even know what they did. He saw a few floggers, some blindfolds and gags, but he did not recognize most of the other items. He did, however, find himself glancing at a pair of purple cuffs. He glanced down at the vibrator he had grabbed and noticed that it was a very similar shade of purple.

As D-16 narrowed his optics in contemplation, Dipstick popped back over, clearly having nothing better to do than provide D-16 with assistance. “Ah, those are very popular. It’s a great introduction for couples interested in bondage.”

D-16 nearly jumped at the sound of Dipstick’s voice. He nodded and glanced back at the handcuffs. “They look… fun?”

Dipstick nodded and pulled them off the wall. He glanced at the vibrator D-16 had selected as well and a knowing grin crept up his face. “They’re very fun! Tell you what, I’ll give you a nice deal: if you buy that vibrator and these cuffs, I’ll give you half off the cuffs and throw in a sensitizing lubricant for free! I might even have a purple sensitizer in the back if you’re going for a theme.”

D-16 hesitated, not sure how the cuffs would go over with Orion. He looked again at the vibrator, then the cuffs, and then made his decision.

“Can you tell me a bit more about that sensitizer?”

---

“Pax, where are we going?” D-16 groaned as Orion dragged him along by the servo, leading him through the nearly deserted streets of Iacon.

“It’s a surprise!” Orion insisted. He then grinned, gesturing to the shopping bag D-16 was holding. “If you tell me what’s in the bag I’ll tell you where we’re going.”

D-16’s faceplate heated as he remembered what was in the bag and shook his helm. Orion laughed and tugged on D-16's servo again.

“So secretive! Well, we’re almost there, so get ready!”

It was late, much later than Orion and D-16 were normally out and about. They had the day off the following day, so Orion had decided that it would be a perfect night for them to get out of the living quarters that they shared with the other miners. He had not told D-16 anything about where they were going, so D-16 was entirely in the dark. All he knew was that there was the hinted promise of interfacing, so he was hoping that Orion was not leading him to a random alley… again.

Sharing a living space with the other miners limited their privacy, so it was difficult to even get a few kisses in without someone making a comment. Interfacing was a whole other issue, although they had managed to sneak a few quickies in only semi-public spaces.

The mines had been where they first interfaced when they had managed to sneak away a few times on their breaks. The showers had been the best place so far, and part of what made it so exhilarating had been the riskiness of it. They had also, much to D-16’s chagrin, done it in an alley, which he swore to never do again. But with the way Orion was guiding him around the city, he was getting worried.

Orion, however, then led D-16 around the corner toward one of the hotels in Iacon. Orion turned to D-16 with a grin and gestured his helm to the building. “I figured it might be nice to get away for a night. We don’t have to worry about getting disrupted from recharge, and we can… well, y’know.”

D-16 could feel his intake getting a bit dry as thoughts began to swirl in his mind. He imagined all the different things they had not yet tried, and then thought of what they could do with what he had in the bag.  He nodded his helm, returning a smile to Orion. “Oh, I know. Did you already book a room?”

Orion nodded, pulling a small datacard out with a smirk. “Of course, I did! And we’re already checked in, so we can go straight up. Just you and me.”

D-16 wanted to kiss Orion immediately. D-16 wanted his dermas against Orion’s faceplate, against his neck cables, against his valve. D-16 squeezed Orion’s servo and was now leading Orion into the hotel lobby, making Orion laugh as he followed along. D-16 realized once they were by the elevators that he did not know where the room was. Orion chuckled and punched the button.

The two of them entered the elevator when it arrived, and as soon Orion punched in the button for the twelfth floor and the doors closed, D-16 was on him. Orion nearly burst into laughter at D-16’s eagerness, but he was quickly overtaken by a gasp when D-16 placed a servo on his thigh, pulling his leg up as he pressed into him. Orion hit the elevator wall and kissed D-16 back, the elevator finally going up to the twelfth floor while the two of them made out.

“Mmh, Dee– Dee, you’re so–”

The elevator dinged and D-16 quickly pulled away from Orion, watching the door. It opened, but there was no one there. D-16 was confused for a moment before he realized that the elevator had done what it was supposed to and that they were on the twelfth floor. Orion chuckled slyly and squeezed D-16’s aft teasingly, making him hiss.

“Oh, suddenly you’re shy?” Orion quipped.

D-16 grumbled. “I’m not– Don’t tease me, Pax…”

“Or what? You’ll–” Orion gasped when D-16 picked him up, one arm under his knees and the other on his back.

D-16 smirked. “Or I’ll frag you so thoroughly that you can’t walk tomorrow.”

Orion, for once, seemed to be at a loss for words. He stammered with wide optics as D-16 carried him out of the elevator and looked up and down the hallway, unsure of where to go.

“1246,” Orion finally managed to say, staring up at D-16. “The room number.”

D-16 smiled and carried Orion down the hall toward the room. When he came up to the room door, he tilted Orion slightly in his arms so that he could scan the room lock with the datacard and open the door for the two of them. D-16 pushed the door open more with his ped and carried Orion in, taking in the hotel room.

It was so much nicer than the living quarters they were in. There was one berth in the middle of the room, and across from it was a television. The berth was more than big enough for both of them, and it looked much cozier than the standing berths they were used to. The window showed all of Iacon city, which was lit up despite the late night.

Orion tapped D-16’s shoulder, asking him to be put down. D-16 shrugged and tossed him onto the berth, making Orion yelp. “Hey!”

But D-16 was already straddling Orion, kissing him once more. Orion leaned back and cupped D-16’s faceplate, opening his dermas to let D-16’s glossa in. Their glossas danced and D-16 held onto Orion’s hips, squeezing them gently as he moaned into the kiss.

After a few moments, D-16 finally pulled away, giving them both a chance to catch their breath. Orion let one servo lay against his forehelm and he stared up at D-16 with soft optics, his mouth open for more.

“Before we keep going,” D-16 hesitated slightly, glancing at the bag that sat at the foot of the berth. Orion propped himself up on his elbows, noticing where D-16’s optics were looking. D-16 shrugged. “I… I got you something. Do you want to open it?”

Orion beamed and nodded. D-16 handed him the bag and looked away as he began to open it. Orion pulled out the sensitizer first, looking slightly confused until he read the label. He grinned deviously and looked at D-16, who was still averting his gaze. Orion redirected D-16’s face toward his own, forcing him to look at Orion.

“Dee… What exactly are you implying here?”

D-16’s faceplate rushed with heat. “You are so mean.”

Orion laughed and kissed D-16 quickly. He pulled the cuffs out of the bag next, which was what D-16 had been dreading the most. Orion raised an optical ridge, but his grin only widened.

“Oh my, Dee! I didn’t know you had this kind of thing in mind. Are these for me or for you?”

D-16 tried to avert his gaze again, but Orion redirected him again. D-16 huffed. “If you keep acting like this, I’m going to cuff you to the bed and leave.”

Orion hummed. “I think you’d miss me too much.”

Before D-16 could make a proper retort, Orion pulled the vibrator out of the bag. This was where he looked genuinely surprised, glancing at D-16 with wide optics.

“Dee…”

D-16 shifted awkwardly. “I get it if it’s too much, we don’t have to use any of it if you don’t want to. I just figured… I don’t know…”

Orion shook his helm with a grin. “I’m just… Well, I’m sensing you had a certain color scheme in mind when you picked all of this out.”

D-16 put his servos to his faceplate and groaned. “Pax–!”

Orion laughed and pulled D-16’s servos away from his helm to kiss him. “Dee, you know I’m only teasing you! I think tonight is going to be fun… Where should we start?”

D-16 hummed against Orion’s dermas and pulled him in for another kiss. “Lay down and I’ll show you.”

Orion smirked and did as D-16 asked, laying back across the berth. D-16 sat above him on his knees and admired his body for a few moments, drinking in his form until Orion nudged his leg gently with his ped.

D-16 leaned down and began to kiss Orion again, his servos tracing down Orion’s chassis toward his panel, which he palmed lightly until Orion finally opened it. D-16 kissed him for just a little while longer before he began to trail his way down, kissing Orion’s neck cables and his chest. He went down his chassis, gently placing kisses all the way down before finding himself in front of Orion’s valve.

D-16 glanced back up at Orion, who was watching him with soft intent. He lifted his hips gently and D-16 hummed, turning his attention back to Orion’s valve. D-16 pressed a kiss to the inside of Orion’s thigh, one servo on the other thigh as he leaned into the space between his legs.

D-16 began to work his glossa on Orion’s valve, making his breath hitch as he let his helm fall back. He pressed the back of his servo to his dermas, the other curling on the sheets of the berth beneath them.

“D-Dee…”

D-16 gently dragged his glossa up Orion’s valve and kissed his node. Orion shivered and D-16 smiled, pressing one more soft kiss to his node before continuing to trail his glossa along his valve. Orion revved and reached a servo down to grasp D-16’s helm. He moaned softly, biting his derma to keep quiet as D-16 continued.

“I want to hear you, Pax,” D-16 lifted his head for a moment, making Orion whine.

“But what if–”

“What, suddenly you’re shy?” D-16 mocked teasingly, a small grin on his face. When Orion pouted, his grin softened to a smile. “No one will hear us. It’s just the two of us, right? I want to hear every little noise you want to make, Pax. Please…”

D-16 waited until Orion nodded. “Okay, okay… Now can you… y’know…?”

D-16 smirked and leaned back down to Orion’s valve. He kissed his inner thighs a few more times until Orion whined, then began to trail his glossa up his valve. He pressed a kiss to the node before gently lapping at it with the tip of his glossa. Orion’s hips twitched and he moaned, louder this time. D-16 smiled in satisfaction and pressed his glossa against his node, his servo gently squeezing Orion’s inner thigh.

Orion let his servos find D-16’s helm again and he leaned into D-16’s mouth, begging for more. D-16 obliged, closing his dermas around Orion’s node as he gave it a gentle suck before dragging the flat of his glossa across it.

Orion moaned softly as he held onto D-16’s helm, his own helm falling back as he let his thighs tighten around D-16. “Oh, Primus–”

D-16 gauged how close Orion was to overload by his quickened breathing, his soft moaning, and the grip he had on D-16’s helm. He kept up the pace with his glossa until Orion let out a cry of overload, then gently lapped at his valve and node until Orion had ridden the waves of it out. He slunk back into the berth slightly and D-16 climbed up over his body, nuzzling his face into the crook of Orion’s neck while his servos explored his chassis.

“I can’t wait to hear more of you tonight,” D-16 praised softly, nipping at Orion’s neck cables. He cupped Orion’s faceplate and leaned in to kiss him, separating his dermas with his glossa as Orion moaned into him.

“Mmh– Oh! Do you want to try any of your shiny new toys?” Orion chuckled, gesturing to the sensitizer, cuffs, and vibrator that sat on the edge of the berth. D-16 nodded, having forgotten about them after being caught up with Orion’s valve.

“What do you want to try first?” D-16 asked, looking at Orion expectantly. Orion sat up, propping himself on his elbows as D-16 gently rubbed his thigh. Orion picked up the vibrator, looking at D-16 with a small smirk.

“I don’t suppose you already charged this?” Orion chuckled, looking for the button to turn it on. He found it and held it down and the vibrator began glowing and vibrating at a lower speed. “Oh my, Dee! Aren’t you prepared?”

D-16 averted his optics in mild embarrassment. “How do you want to use it? I could use it on you, or… I don’t know.”

Orion rolled his optics and shook his helm. “As much as I would love it, I can’t have you pleasuring just me all night. Why don’t we share it?”

D-16 raised an optical ridge. “Share it? How would–”

Orion smirked and spread his legs, gesturing for D-16 to do the same. D-16 did so and Orion scooted closer to him, putting one leg over D-16’s hip while the other went under D-16’s other leg. His valve was pressed against D-16’s panel, which he was waiting to open.

Orion chuckled. “It would be helpful if you opened your panel.” D-16 grumbled and did so, his faceplate heating at the fact that he had not done so earlier. Orion cooed at him with a small grin. “Such a pretty valve… Next time, I want to have my mouth on it.”

“Pax…” D-16 whined, making Orion laugh softly.

Orion rubbed D-16’s inner thigh, making his valve ache with anticipation. “Do you want to use the sensitizer as well? It might be interesting to try it.”

D-16 shrugged. “If you want to try it… It was a freebie from the shop.”

Orion chuckled. “Might as well make the most of it then, right?”

Orion uncapped the sensitizer and poured some into his servo. He gently lathered D-16’s node and valve, making him moan softly at the touch. It was a bit cold, but it was warmed by Orion’s touch. Orion spread it over his own node and valve, inhaling quickly as he spread it around.

As soon as they were covered in the sensitizer, Orion picked up the vibrator. D-16 watched as Orion took the vibrator and put it between their valves, making D-16 flinch at the sudden contact it had with his node. It was a colder touch than he was used to on his node, but he was not able to think about it for long before Orion turned on the vibration and made them both gasp in surprise.

“Ah–!” Orion gasped, nearly dropping the wand as he leaned back on his other servo.

“Nghn–!” D-16 lurched forward with a moan as he held onto Orion’s thigh for support, squeezing it slightly.

The sensitizer made D-16’s node tingle wildly with pleasure, which only intensified with the vibrator. He looked up and saw Orion biting his derma before letting out another moan. He looked at D-16 and smiled, clicking the button again to speed up the vibration. D-16 gasped, letting out a moan that was louder than he expected.

D-16 felt himself getting close to overload already, but they had hardly even started. Orion looked to be in a similar state, panting and moaning as he watched D-16 with heavy lidded optics.

“Mmh– Hah! Dee, it feels– Oh–!” Orion whined, clearly close to overload as he pushed himself closer to D-16 and into the wand.

The pressure from the wand increased as Orion leaned forward, pushing D-16 into overload. D-16 let out a gasp as he overloaded. “Ah– Ah! Pax!”

The vibrator was so intense after D-16 overloaded that he almost felt the need to pull away, but he did not until Orion had also overloaded and ridden it out. He quickly pulled the vibrator away, which was slick with their lubricant and the sensitizer, and turned it off.

The two of them were panting heavily after the intensity of their overload. They stared at each other until Orion chuckled softly. “That– That was–”

“Intense,” D-16 filled in for Orion, making him laugh softly. He set the vibrator down on the berth and leaned in to kiss D-16, their legs still tangled together as their valves rubbed against each other.

D-16 gasped into the kiss, his node still sensitive and tingling after the overload. Orion hummed against his dermas, shifting his hips slightly so their valves were no longer touching, and continued to kiss him softly.

D-16 let his servos wander down Orion’s chassis and squeeze his aft when they found it. Orion whined and D-16 only groaned in response, squeezing it again.

“Mmh– Dee– Dee, wait…”

“Hmm? What is it?” D-16 pulled away, watching Orion intently.

Orion grinned sheepishly, looking down at the berth. “We still have one thing left to try…”

D-16 followed Orion’s gaze to the handcuffs and chuckled. “You still have energy? What have you been eating, Pax?”

Orion shrugged. “Not enough of you, unfortunately.”

D-16 sputtered and Orion laughed, untangling their legs and reaching for the cuffs. While D-16 recovered from Orion’s tease, Orion picked up the cuffs and inspected them with glee.

“You still didn’t tell me who’s getting cuffed,” Orion teased, dangling the cuffs in front of D-16’s face. “Do you want to wear them while I frag you? Or do you want to see me in them, laid out on the bed while you do what you want with me?”

D-16’s faceplate heated, and he felt his spike pressurize under his panel at the thought of Orion on the bed, sprawled out, ready to take him. That had been his initial intention in buying them, but he could tell that Orion was interested in both options.

D-16 took the cuffs from Orion, trying to keep his expression level as he gestured for Orion’s servos. Orion grinned, holding his servos out like he was being arrested. As D-16 put the cuffs on his wrist, he leaned forward into D-16’s audials. “Do what you want with me.”

D-16 revved. He pushed Orion back down on the bed and forced his servos above his head, making Orion chuckle in amusement. He put the handcuffs around the top frame of the berth and then hesitated around Orion’s other wrist.

“You’re sure this is okay?”

Orion rolled his optics and nodded his head with a smile. “Of course, Dee. I’d tell you if I was uncomfortable with it. Now can you finish cuffing me so you can frag me?”

D-16 nodded eagerly and clipped the cuff around Orion’s other wrist, letting his servos trail down Orion’s arms. Orion shivered and giggled softly, but D-16 continued to trace his servos down to Orion’s chest, watching him intently.

Every inch of him was so beautiful, so enticing. He could hardly wait another second before getting inside of him.

Orion, apparently, could not wait another second either. He cleared his intake with a small grin on his face.

“If you keep admiring me like that, I’m going to get all flustered.”

D-16 felt his faceplate heat, but he quickly brushed his own embarrassment aside in order to tease Orion. “It’s hard not to admire perfection.”

Orion smiled softly and averted his gaze. “Dee…”

“I’ve never wanted much,” D-16 continued, letting one servo trail down Orion’s chassis to his hip. He gave it a gentle squeeze. “But I want you so much it feels unreal that I get to have you. In fact, I think I’ve been so spoiled by you that you’ve become a need.” D-16 cupped Orion’s faceplate and pressed a kiss to his dermas. “I need you almost as much as I need energon to stay alive. I want to be with you almost as much as I need to be with you. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Orion Pax.”

D-16 could feel Orion’s faceplate growing warm, and he smiled softly before kissing his dermas once more. Orion whined into the kiss and D-16 pulled away, watching him with a small smirk.

“You can’t say all that stuff while I can’t touch you, Dee,” Orion whined, tugging lightly on the handcuffs. “It’s not fair!”

D-16 chuckled. “Well, then how about I touch you to make up for it? Where should I start?”

Orion huffed, lifting his hips slightly. “You know damn well where you should start.”

D-16 obliged. He opened his panel, his spike pressurized and already leaking lubricant as it pulsed with charge. Orion gazed at D-16 with a small smirk and shifted his hips, ready to take D-16’s spike in its entirety. D-16 placed a servo on Orion’s hip and slowly began to put his spike in. Orion stiffened slightly but relaxed under D-16’s gentle touch. As soon as he was all the way in, Orion released the breath he had been holding and D-16 slowly began to thrust.

D-16 huffed as he felt the tightness of Orion’s valve. He was slick with lubricant from his first two overloads, which made his spike slide inside him with ease. D-16 leaned down to kiss Orion while he thrust rhythmically into him, holding his aft with one servo while the other kept D-16 supported on the berth.

“Dee– Oh, oh– Don’t stop–!” Orion moaned loudly, any previous worry of being heard going completely out the window as D-16 thrust into him.

“Pax you– you feel so good–” D-16 panted, moaning softly.

D-16 took Orion’s aft and pushed him up slightly so he could angle his spike further into him. Orion gasped out a moaning cry and tugged lightly on the handcuffs, which only made D-16 want him even more.

D-16 chuckled softly through his huffing and moaning. “Still enjoying the cuffs, Pax?”

Orion whined and tugged on them. “I wish I– I wish I could hold you–”

D-16 almost laughed. “So you could scratch up my plating again?”

D-16 thrust deeper into Orion and he threw his helm back with a loud moan before he could protest D-16’s teasing. D-16 gave Orion’s aft a soft squeeze, making him whine and huff.

“Pax, I’m close–” D-16 panted as he began to thrust faster, making Orion gasp and shift his hips to be closer to D-16, wanting to take in more of his spike.

“I’m– I’m almost– Ahh!” Orion threw his helm back as he overloaded, tugging on the cuffs tightly. D-16 was overloaded soon after, his lubricant filling Orion as he leaned down beside him, panting.

D-16 slowly pulled out of Orion after a few moments, his lubricant spilling out onto the berth sheets. Orion tugged lightly on the handcuffs, still in bliss after his third overload of the night, and watched D-16 intently. 

“Dee… Can you uncuff me now?”

D-16 put a servo to his chin and furrowed his optical ridge. “Hmm… I’ll consider it… Give me a good reason?”

“Uhm… you love me?”

D-16 shrugged. “Good enough.”

D-16 uncuffed Orion, setting the handcuffs aside before falling next to Orion as he wrapped his arms around him.

“That was incredible, Dee…”

“It really was…” D-16 agreed, staring at Orion’s optics as he gently caressed his face. “We should get a hotel room more often.”

Orion laughed and nodded his helm in agreement. The two of them chatted and giggled for a little while longer, exchanging kisses and caresses until they eventually fell asleep.

[buckets-and-trees]

Huffily Ever After: A CindereLloyd Story [2/?]

Chapter Two Characters/Pairings: Lloyd Hansen x curvy Female!Reader Word Count: 6.4k Summary: The first official day of the conference kicks off with opposition and opportunity. You unexpectedly connect with someone from your past and bump into the infamous Lloyd Hansen - and keep bumping into him.

Content/Warnings: modern Cinderella adaptation, unknown identities, enemies to lovers

Notes: I am in no way a PR or Marketing expert! I do often work with marketing professionals, so I have a passing awareness of some of the trends right now. But when we get to the "detailed" PR and Marketing parts of the conference and conversations, this is an amalgamation of notes I took from our organization's recent one-day marketing summit, looking up sessions at actual marketing conferences, and using those topics to further my googling and reading some more articles and watching a couple of YouTube videos to get to the point where I felt like I could write some dialogue that seemed believable and wasn't overly vague. If you actually do anything with PR or Marketing, please just be gentle!

A/N 2: I mention Neal Sampat from The Newsroom as the opening keynote for the conference, but all the other professionals I've included are totally made up.

Previous Chapter | Series

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

The next morning, you awoke with a start when your alarm went off. The memories of the masquerade at Versailles flooded back in a rush. The opulent ballroom, the mysterious stranger, that electrifying kiss in the gardens almost seemed like a dream. But the slight ache in your feet from dancing all night and the faint scent of the mystery man’s cologne still clinging to your skin confirmed it had been real.

You stretched in the comfy hotel bed, your mind replaying the events of the previous night. The way the man had looked at you, the intensity of his gaze behind that striking mask. The feel of his strong arms as he guided you across the dance floor. The passion in his kiss that had left you breathless and wanting more.

A soft buzz from your phone jolted you from your reverie. It was a text from Gus asking if you were up yet and interested in grabbing breakfast.

You smiled at Gus's text, always grateful for his friendship, but especially glad to have someone like him at your side to face the conference and all that it would entail. You quickly replied that you'd meet him in the hotel lobby in forty-five minutes.

As you showered and got ready for the day, your mind kept drifting back to the mysterious man from the masquerade. Who was he? Would you see him again at the conference? You knew he would be here, but it was a large conference with over a thousand professionals registered to attend. Part of you hoped you would somehow bump into him again, while another part worried the magic of last night would be shattered in the harsh light of day.

You carefully applied your makeup, trying to hide the slight shadows under your eyes from the late night. As you fastened your mother's necklace around your neck, you remembered the man's words about it. How he had seen its sentimental value when others might have dismissed it as too simple. Today it fell beneath the collar of your shirt, and you tapped it, the memory bringing a small smile to your lips.

Dressed in a crisp blazer with your leather tote bag at the ready, you set off to meet Gus.

As you stepped into the elevator, you couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness about the day ahead. The conference was officially starting today, and you were determined to make the most of it. Your encounter with the mysterious man at the masquerade had left you feeling more confident, more alive. You were ready to channel that energy into your professional endeavors.

The elevator doors opened, and you spotted Gus waiting for you in the lobby. He was lounging in one of the plush armchairs, scrolling through his phone. When he saw you approaching, he jumped up with a grin.

"Well, well, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence," he teased, giving you a quick hug. "I was beginning to think you'd been whisked away by Prince Charming."

You felt a little heat creep up your cheeks, remembering the mysterious man's parting words of Goodnight, Cinderella. "Hardly," you scoffed, trying to play it cool. "Just a late night of networking, that's all."

Gus raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "Uh-huh. And I suppose that's why you disappeared for hours with tall, dark, and handsome?"

You felt your cheeks heat even more at Gus's words. "It wasn't like that," you protested weakly. "We just talked."

Gus's grin widened. "Talked, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

You rolled your eyes, giving him a playful shove. "Oh, stop it. Nothing happened. We just walked in the gardens and had an interesting conversation. That's all."

"Mhmm," Gus hummed, clearly unconvinced. "Well, whoever he was, he certainly seemed interested in you. I saw the way he was looking at you on the dance floor."

You felt a flutter in your stomach at the memory. "Really? I mean... it was just dancing."

Gus chuckled. "Keep telling yourself that, honey. Now come on, let's get some coffee and pastries in both of us before we officially descend into the chaos of this conference.”

Gus had you walk two blocks away for the breakfast spot he had determined was best, but you were glad for his foresight when the cafés you passed that were closer to the hotel were teeming with people. You were able to get a small table almost straight away and ordered coffee and croissants.

“Oh, God,” Gus groaned after the waiter left your table.

“What?” you asked.

“I think Lloyd Hansen is sitting over there, a few tables behind you.”

You resisted the urge to turn around and look. "Lloyd Hansen? As in the heir apparent of Hansen Global Digital Industries?" you whispered, leaning in closer to Gus.

Gus nodded, his eyes darting over your shoulder. "The one and only. He looks like he might be even more of a nightmare in person than they say he is."

Your heart raced at the thought of being in such close proximity to one of the most powerful emerging figures in your industry. His father’s company, Hansen Global, was at the forefront of innovation in digital marketing and PR. Lloyd Hansen was known for his ruthless business tactics but mostly for standing to inherit the empire his father had been building.

"What's he doing?" you asked, fascination getting the better of you despite the distaste you had for the man’s reputation.

Gus took a sip of his coffee, using the motion to glance over again. "He's alone, just reading something on his tablet. Probably plotting world domination or something."

You chuckled at Gus's joke, but couldn't help feeling a mix of curiosity and apprehension. Lloyd Hansen's reputation preceded him - brilliant but ruthless, innovative but cutthroat. Even though he was the prince of his father’s company, you'd heard rumors of how he'd climbed the ranks at Hansen Global leaving an abrasive trail of crushed competitors and discarded colleagues in his wake. Still, it seemed like he had such an easy go making a name for himself whereas you worked tirelessly and scraped for every break you got and new benchmark you achieved.

"Should we go and introduce ourselves?" you whispered, half-joking.

Gus's eyes widened. "Are you crazy? That man eats small fish like us for breakfast and I heard he hates being approached at events like this. Apparently, he once made an intern cry just for asking him a question."

You winced. "Yikes. Okay, maybe not then."

“He’s only here to do the rounds and make appearances.”

You noo longer wanted to meet him, but your curiosity was still piqued. "What does he look like? I've only ever seen photos online and in articles, but sometimes people look totally different in person."

Gus leaned in, lowering his voice. "Tall - taller than I would have guessed from photos. Dark hair, chiseled jawline that could cut glass. 90’s-level mustache. Wearing an obscenely expensive suit. And he's got these piercing blue eyes that look like they could see right through you."

Your heart skipped a beat at the description. It sounded eerily similar to your mystery man from the masquerade. But it couldn't be, could it? Surely Lloyd Hansen wouldn't have engaged in such a frivolous evening of anonymity and dancing. Besides, he no doubt would have been hobnobbing with the elites since his father’s company were the hosts sponsoring the event.

"Don't turn around," Gus warned, "but I think he just looked our way."

You froze, fighting the urge to glance over your shoulder. "What should we do?"

“Nothing, it looks like he’s leaving.”

You breathed a sigh of relief as Gus confirmed Lloyd Hansen had left the café. The brief tension dissipated, and you tried to refocus on the day ahead.

"Well, that was exciting," Gus chuckled, breaking the tension. "Now, let's focus on our game plan for today. We've got about an hour to finish up here and then check in at registration before the opening keynote. And then we still want to hit that panel on crisis management and deescalation in the first block of sessions, right?”

You nodded, pushing thoughts of mysterious masked men and intimidating industry tycoons out of your mind. "Yes, let's go over our notes one more time. Claude is one of the panelists, but the full group of panelists are killer and I want to get a really good question in."

As you and Gus huddled over your tablets, reviewing key points and statistics, you felt a renewed sense of purpose. Last night's magical interlude had been wonderful, but now it was time to prove yourself in the harsh light of day.

After finishing breakfast, you and Gus made your way to the hotel and the conference registration area. The buzz of excitement was palpable. The area outside the hotel's grand ballroom had been transformed into a sea of sleek banners and digital displays, all emblazoned with the conference logo. Attendees from around the world milled about, their voices a cacophony of different languages and accents.

"I can't believe we're actually here," you whispered to Gus, clutching your leather tote bag a little tighter. The enormity of the opportunity before you was suddenly very real.

Gus squeezed your arm reassuringly. "We've got this," he said with a wink. "Now, let's go get our badges and swag bags like the professionals we are."

You both joined the queue for registration, inching forward as the line slowly moved. You were busy admiring the intricate floral arrangements adorning the registration tables when you spotted two familiar figures ahead of you in the line. Your heart sank as you recognized Anya and Holly, their perfectly coiffed hair and designer outfits making you feel suddenly underdressed despite your carefully chosen ensemble.

Once they finished checking in, they turn and spot you and Gus. Anya’s crimson lips curved into a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Well, well," Anya purred, her voice dripping with faux sweetness as she and Holly approached you. "If it isn't two of our favorite team member! Did you enjoy playing dress-up last night?"

You felt a rush of irritation at her condescending tone and the way she ignored Gus entirely, but forced a polite smile anyway. This was hardly new. They’d ignored you in the car the full way to the masquerade last night.

"Good morning, Anya, Holly. Yes, the masquerade was lovely. Did you enjoy yourselves?"

Holly sniffed, adjusting her designer glasses. "It was fine, I guess.

Though some of us were actually networking instead of gallivanting off with mysterious strangers."

You felt a rush of heat to your cheeks at the implication. How did they know about that? "Yes, we were all there to network," you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Anya leaned in, her voice low and venomous. "Word of advice, darling. In this industry, it's not just about who you know, but who knows you. And trust me, no one of consequence is going to remember some nobody from a tiny firm who spent the night dancing instead of making real connections."

You felt a surge of anger at her words, but before you could retort, Gus stepped in. "Actually," he said smoothly, "we made some excellent connections last night. Claude Dumont from Hansen Global was particularly interested in our work in emerging markets."

Anya's eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing her face before she schooled her features back into a mask of indifference. "Well," she said, her tone slightly less confident, "I suppose even a broken clock is right twice a day."

"We should get going," Holly interjected.

“Just remember we’re here to work, not flirt,” Anya tossed over her shoulder as she walked away with Holly.

“I don’t know why you stay with them. You should really transfer to another team,” Gus said.

“It wasn’t bad when Vaughn was still on the team. And Walsh said I’d be invaluable to them during the transition,” you explained.

Helen Walsh had scooped you out of the intern pool at Nexus earlier than most make it and brought you onto her team, giving you your first fulltime position - with a respectable starting salary and benefits, practically your fairy godmother. A year and a half ago Walsh had been promoted to Nexus’s VP of Strategy and Innovation and that’s when there had been some realignment of teams, putting you under a new director - Amilla Tremaine.

“But it’s not a transition period anymore. We are well past that.”

You frowned. “I know, but I do like our clients and our projects. And I don’t want people to think I’m just a team jumper.”

“No one would think that,” Gus countered.

“Maybe you’re right, but…”

Gus sighed. “Okay, I’ll back up, but we’re here at this conference,” he said, “this is exactly the time to be thinking about new opportunities, new projects, make new connections, so promise me that if you don’t get some insane new offer outside of Nexus, you’ll at least think about a new team transfer?”

You put on a bright smile for him and said, “I promise.”

The conference staff worker called Gus forward to check in, which was perfect timing.

The truth was, you had already thought about a transfer. You’d even talked to Amilla about the possibility a few months ago, and Amilla had acted so shocked and insisted that you wouldn’t be nearly as great anywhere else as where you were exactly right now. You had tried to pivot that reasoning into it you wanting to move to a different team so you could gain some new expertise, and she had talked that down, too.

It was clear she was determined to keep you, despite the disdain you often felt from her.

And while she was unwilling to let you go, it was a moot point to try and transfer because directors negotiated with each other when employees transferred to another team, and you were certain Amilla would block any move.

You know you could take it to Walsh, but you didn’t want to be that employee who went over the Directors’ level to a VP.

You could manage.

As you and Gus finished checking in and collected your conference materials, you tried to shake off the encounter with Anya and Holly. You wouldn't let their pettiness dampen your spirits or derail your focus.

Your thoughts were interrupted as the conference staff called you forward to check in. You plastered on a professional smile and approached the registration desk.

"Name, please?" the cheerful volunteer asked.

As you gave your information and received your badge and conference materials, you couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and trepidation. This conference was a huge opportunity, but Anya's words still stung. You were determined to prove her wrong and make meaningful connections.

With your registration complete, you and Gus started toward the opening keynote. The corridors were bustling with attendees, all chattering excitedly about the upcoming sessions and networking opportunities.

You made your way into the main conference hall, where the opening keynote was set to begin. The room was massive, with rows upon rows of chairs facing a grand stage. The energy was electric as attendees found their seats, the low hum of excited chatter filling the air.

As you settled into your seats, you couldn't help but scan the crowd, wondering if you might catch a glimpse of your mystery man from the masquerade. Your eyes darted from face to face, but of course no one seemed to have those particular piercing blue eyes.

The lights dimmed, signaling the start of the opening session. A hush fell over the crowd as the conference organizer stepped onto the stage to introduce the speaker, Neal Sampat. As Neal took the stage, commanding the room with his presence, you couldn't help but lean forward in your seat. The speech was engaging, full of industry insights, experiences from his past, and predictions for the future of digital marketing. You furiously scribbled notes, not wanting to miss a single point. It was a perfect kick off with its infectious and inspiring energy.

As the keynote speaker concluded to thunderous applause, you felt a renewed sense of purpose and excitement for the conference ahead. The energy in the room was palpable as attendees began to file out, chattering animatedly about the insights they'd just gained.

"That was incredible," you breathed to Gus as you gathered your things. "I have so many ideas already!"

Gus nodded enthusiastically. "I know, right? I can't wait to dig into some of those strategies."

As you made your way out of the main hall, you consulted your conference schedule. "Okay, so we have that panel on crisis management next. We should hurry if we want to get good seats."

"Yep, that's the one," Gus confirmed. "It's in Conference Room 212B, which should be... upstairs and that way." He pointed down a bustling corridor.

You and Gus navigated through the crowded corridors, dodging clusters of networking attendees and following the signs to your next session. As you rounded a corner, you suddenly collided with someone, your conference materials scattering across the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" you exclaimed, kneeling to gather your papers. "I wasn't watching where I was going."

"No, you weren’t," a cool, annoyed voice replied.

Your head snapped up, and you found yourself looking into a mustached face with piercing blue eyes. Your breath caught in your throat as you realized you had to be face to face with Lloyd Hansen himself. Up close, you could see why Gus had described his eyes as intense - they seemed to bore right through you. Your heart raced as you scrambled to your feet, clutching your papers to your chest.

"Mr. Hansen," you stammered, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

He cut you off with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Just watch where you're going next time," he said curtly. His eyes flicked down to your name badge, then back up to your face.

"I will," you assured him, trying to regain your composure. "Again, I apologize for the inconvenience."

Lloyd Hansen's gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, his expression hard. Then, without another word, he stepped around you and continued down the hallway.

You let out a shaky breath, a mix of anger and embarrassment surging through your veins.

"Are you alright?" he asked, shooting a wary glance at Lloyd.

"I'm fine," you assured him, “let’s go.”

You and Gus managed to snag seats near the front of Conference Room 212B just as the panel was about to begin. The room was packed, which was no surprise and a testament to the importance of the topic.

“Welcome to our session! You’re in the room for ‘Shields Activated: How to Combat Crisis, Predict Predicaments and Deescalate Reputational Battles,’ and I don’t want to waste a second of our time, so I’m going to introduce you to our experts and we’ll dive right in.”

As the moderator introduced the panelists, your eyes widened in recognition. You had paid attention to the panelists listed for this session but somehow skipped over the moderator’s name, but before you now was one of your favorite professors from graduate school, Maggie Mortimer.

You smiled as you watched Maggie expertly guide the panel discussion, her sharp wit and insightful questions drawing out the best from each expert. As Claude Dumont began speaking about a particularly tricky PR crisis his team had navigated, you leaned forward, hanging on every word.

"The key," Claude was saying, "is to always be three steps ahead. Anticipate not just the immediate fallout, but the potential ripple effects weeks or even months down the line."

As the Q&A portion began, you mustered up the courage to raise your hand. Maggie's eyes scanned the room, and you saw a flicker of recognition when she spotted you.

"Yes, the young lady in the blue blazer," she said, gesturing towards you.

You stood, heart pounding. "Thank you. My question is about the balance between transparency and protection of sensitive information during a crisis. How do you determine what information to disclose and what to withhold, especially when public trust is at stake?"

Claude Dumont leaned forward, his eyes lighting up at your question. "Excellent point," he said. "It's one of the trickiest aspects of crisis management. The key is to be as transparent as possible without compromising legal or ethical boundaries. We always aim to provide enough information to satisfy public concern and demonstrate accountability, while carefully protecting any sensitive data or ongoing investigations."

He paused, then added, "It's also crucial to be upfront about what you can and cannot disclose. The public often respects honesty about limitations more than they do vague platitudes."

He went on to elaborate, providing examples from his own experience. As he spoke, you noticed the other panelists nodding in agreement. When Claude finished, Maggie turned to the other experts, inviting their input.

As you sat down, Gus gave you a discreet thumbs up. You felt a surge of pride that your question had sparked a lively discussion among the panel.

When the session ended, you and Gus made your way to the front of the room where the panelists were gathering their things. You hoped to catch a quick word with Claude Dumont and thank him for his insightful response to your question.

As you approached, Maggie Mortimer spotted you and her face lit up with recognition. "Well, if it isn't one of my star pupils!" she exclaimed, pulling you into a quick hug. "I thought that was you asking that excellent question."

You felt a flush of pride at her words. "Thank you, Professor Mortimer. It's wonderful to see you again."

"Please, call me Maggie," she insisted. "We're colleagues now."

You grinned. “Maggie, this is Gus Lancashire, we both work at Nexus PR.”

They exchanged pleasantries, and then Claude joined you.

“Claude, I’d like to introduce you to-” Maggie started.

But Claude cut in, “Oh, I met these two last night, Maggie. And I hope you’ll both be at the panel I’m moderating tomorrow. I’m still trying to find a replacement with Leon having to bow out, but I’m on the hunt.”

Maggie's eyes lit up at Claude's words. "Oh, you're looking for a replacement panelist? You know, Claude, I couldn't help but notice your panel is a bit male-heavy. Perhaps we could kill two birds with one stone here."

She turned to you with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Your eyes widened as you realized where Maggie was going with this. Surely she couldn't mean...

"What do you say? I remember your work in my crisis communication seminar - you had some fascinating insights on the intersection of social media and reputation management in times of crisis."

Your eyes widened in shock. "Me? On a panel? Oh, I don't think-"

But Claude was already nodding enthusiastically. "That's brilliant, Maggie! We definitely need more diverse voices, and the perspective of an emerging professional would be invaluable."

You felt your cheeks flush as you stammered, "I'm flattered, truly, but I'm not sure I'm qualified to be on a panel with such esteemed experts. I mean, I've only been in the field for a few years..."

Claude waved off your protests. "Nonsense! Fresh eyes are exactly what we need. The topic is ‘Blending Audience Insights and Brand Expertise to Build Trust and Social Relevance,’ and your question earlier showed a keen understanding of the complexities we face in the public and social sphere in general. I think you'd bring a valuable perspective."

Maggie nodded in agreement. "Don't sell yourself short. You've always had a knack for seeing angles others miss. This could be a great opportunity for you."

You glanced at Gus, who was grinning and nodding vigorously. You took a deep breath, trying to calm the mix of excitement and terror swirling in your chest. "Well, if you really think I could contribute something valuable..."

"Excellent!" Claude clapped his hands together. “You’ll join us for dinner tonight. I’m hosting for all our panelists to meet and mix the personalities together ahead of tomorrow.”

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the mix of excitement and nerves bubbling up inside you.

This was an incredible opportunity, one that could potentially launch your career to new heights. But the thought of speaking on a panel in front of so many industry leaders was daunting.

"I... I would be honored," you finally managed to say, your voice steadier than you felt. "Thank you for considering me."

Claude beamed. "Excellent! I'll have my assistant send you the details. The panel is tomorrow afternoon, so we'll need to meet briefly in the morning to go over the format and key points."

You nodded, still feeling slightly dazed. "Of course. I'll make sure I'm prepared."

As Claude and Maggie excused themselves to prepare for their next engagements, Gus turned to you with an enormous grin. "Holy shit," he whispered excitedly. "Do you realize what just happened? This is huge!”

You nodded, still feeling slightly stunned. "I know, I can't believe it. This is... wow."

"You're going to be amazing," Gus assured you, squeezing your arm. "But you should probably let Amilla know."

Your stomach dropped at the thought. Amilla wasn't going to be pleased about you suddenly being elevated to panelist status. "Right," you said with a grimace. "I should probably do that now before she hears it from someone else."

You pulled out your phone and composed a quick email to Amilla, trying to strike a balance between excitement and professionalism. You hit send before you could overthink it.

"Okay, done," you said, letting out a breath. "How long until lunch? I suddenly feel like I need to eat my weight in carbs. "

After more sessions, a delicious lunch, and a round of affinity group networking, you had just enough time to run up to your room to refresh your look before dinner. You opted to keep most of your outfit the same, but changed into a classier pair of shoes and switched up your hair.

When you stepped out of the elevator into the hotel lobby, you felt a mix of excitement and nerves fluttering in your stomach. You smoothed down your blazer and adjusted the delicate necklace at your throat, your mother's pendant a comforting weight against your skin. The lobby bustled with conference attendees, their animated chatter filling the air with a buzz of energy.

Your eyes scanned the crowd, searching for Maggie's familiar face. The ornate chandeliers overhead cast a warm glow across the marble floors, creating an atmosphere of understated luxury. Potted plants dotted the space, their lush fronds adding a touch of living elegance to the decor.

You spotted Maggie near the concierge desk, her silver hair gleaming under the lights. She was deep in conversation with a tall man you didn't recognize, her hands moving animatedly as she spoke. As you approached, Maggie caught sight of you and her face lit up with a warm smile.

"Ah, there you are!" she exclaimed, waving you over. "I was just telling Dr. Rossi here about your thesis work with me."

You felt a flush of pride as you joined them, extending your hand to Dr. Rossi. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite your nerves.

"Likewise," he replied with a kind smile. "Maggie speaks very highly of you. I look forward to hearing your insights at tomorrow's panel."

"Thank you," you replied, tamping down the small shot of nervousness at Dr. Rossi's words. "I'm honored to be part of the panel and looking forward to the discussion."

You were excited, but it was also a huge and intimidating thing to tackle for the first time, especially last minute, and you wanted to do well with this opportunity.

Just then, Claude appeared, greeting everyone warmly. "Shall we head to dinner?" he suggested, gesturing towards the hotel's Michelin-star restaurant.

As your small group made its way through the lobby, you couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. You were about to have dinner with some of the most respected minds in your field. It was an opportunity you never could have imagined when you arrived at the conference.

The maître d' led you to a private dining room, where some of the other panelists and a couple of representatives from Hansen Global were already gathered. Claude made quick introductions as everyone took their seats. You found yourself between Victor Chen, a crisis management specialist, and - to your complete chagrin - Lloyd Hansen.

He didn’t look much happier about the seating arrangement than you were.

You took your seat, trying to appear calm and collected despite the awkwardness of sitting next to Lloyd Hansen. As everyone settled in, waiters appeared with menus and began pouring wine.

"So," Lloyd said, his voice low and smooth, "you're the last-minute addition to tomorrow's panel."

You turned to face him, determined to maintain your professionalism despite the flutter in your stomach. "Yes. I'm looking forward to contributing to the discussion."

He arched a brow and then pointedly looked away from you and at his menu.

Fine, you thought. Let him keep living up to the taciturn reputation he’s built up.

But as you reached for your own menu, the man on the other side of you - with sharp eyes and an even sharper suit - started to strike up a conversation with you.

"So, you’re our ingenue," he said, giving you an appraising look. "Claude said you’ve been on his radar the past few months."

Claude had said as much himself last night. It was a good reminder that you did have some work and experience to back you going into this panel - and moving forward as a professional in this field.

"It's an honor to meet you," you replied, trying not to let your voice betray your awe. You'd read several of Victor's case studies in grad school. "I'm a big admirer of your work, especially your handling of the Greenleaf Tech crisis last year," you said, your voice growing more confident as you spoke about a topic you were passionate about. "The way you managed to turn public sentiment around while still addressing the core issues was masterful."

Victor's eyes lit up with interest. "Oh, you followed that case? It was certainly a challenge. What did you think of our social media strategy during the first 48 hours?"

You leaned in, eager to discuss the intricacies of the case. "I thought it was brilliant how you used X, Threads, and Bluesky simultaneously to provide real-time updates and transparency. It really helped to quell the spread of misinformation."

As you and Victor delved deeper into the discussion, you felt yourself relaxing. This was your element - analyzing strategies, discussing best practices. You barely noticed as the first course arrived, too engrossed in the evolution of your discussion with Chen. You could feel Lloyd shift slightly beside you, his attention caught by your conversation despite his apparent disinterest.

The waiter arrived with the first course, a beautifully plated salad of seasonal greens and edible flowers.

"You make some interesting points," Victor said, pausing to take a sip of her wine. "I'm curious, how would you have handled the situation differently?"

You took a moment to gather your thoughts, aware that others at the table were now listening in. "Well, I think the overall strategy was sound," you began carefully. "But I might have considered leveraging more user-generated content in the early stages. Encouraging employees and satisfied customers to share their experiences could have helped humanize the company during a critical time."

Victor nodded thoughtfully. "An interesting approach. It carries some risks, but could certainly pay off if executed well."

"Indeed," Claude interjected. “I’m hoping you can really highlight utilizing an authentic humanizing approach on the panel tomorrow,” he said to you specifically, “we want to ensure we're covering all angles of building trust and social relevance in today's digital landscape, and that’s something I’ve seen in the work you’ve done with the clients your team works with."

The dinner progressed, and you found yourself growing more comfortable with the group. The conversation flowed easily, touching on various industry trends and challenges. You contributed where you could, offering insights from your own experiences and asking thoughtful questions.

Lloyd remained mostly silent beside you, only interjecting once or twice with a sharp comment or observation. You couldn't help but notice the way his presence seemed to command attention whenever he spoke and the way his piercing blue eyes scanned the table as if assessing everyone's reactions.

The main course arrived - a perfectly poached snapper with peas and a buerre blanc sauce that made your soul leave your body - and the conversation shifted to the challenges of maintaining brand authenticity in an increasingly digital world.

"The key," Dr. Rossi was saying, "is to find the balance between staying true to your core values and adapting to changing consumer expectations."

You nodded in agreement, swallowing a bite of fish before adding, "And I think that's where social listening becomes crucial. It's not just about pushing out content, but really understanding what your audience cares about and how they perceive your brand."

Lloyd Hansen, who had been mostly silent throughout the meal, suddenly spoke up. "Social listening is all well and good," he said, his voice cool and authoritative, "but at the end of the day, it's about results. Brand loyalty only matters if it translates to the bottom line."

You felt a flicker of irritation at his dismissive tone. Before you could stop yourself, you turned to face Lloyd directly.

"With all due respect, Mr. Hansen," you said, your voice steady despite the nervous flutter in your stomach, "I'd argue that brand loyalty and financial results are inextricably linked, especially in today's market. A strong, authentic brand connection leads to customer retention, word-of-mouth marketing, and ultimately, sustained growth."

Lloyd's piercing blue eyes locked onto yours, his expression unreadable. For a moment, the table fell silent, and you worried you'd overstepped. But then, to your surprise, the corner of Lloyd's mouth twitched in what might have been the ghost of a smile.

"An interesting perspective," he said, his tone less dismissive than before. "And how would you propose measuring the impact of this authentic connection on actual revenue?"

You weren’t sure how to answer. You knew that was important, but your experience working with profit-driven brands was much more limited, and as it wasn’t your strength, that’s not where you typically got assigned on projects.

On your other side, Victor Chen jumped in with, "Customer lifetime value, retention rates, and net promoter scores are all valuable indicators. But beyond that, we can track engagement rates across social platforms and correlate them with sales data to see how authentic connections translate to purchasing behavior."

“Sometimes the impact is more subtle,” Dr. Rossi added, “like increased resilience during market downturns or the ability to command premium pricing. But I believe these factors all contribute to long-term financial success."

After that the conversation flowed, but Lloyd remained silent - he didn’t seem defeated, merely taking a back seat again, his piercing gaze flicking between the speakers. Despite his imposing presence beside you, you found yourself feeling an increasing rapport with the others panelists through the discussion. There was a wealth of knowledge and experience around the table, and this was the kind of discussion you knew you would want to see if you were attending the panel tomorrow. You soaked up every word like a sponge, but by dessert didn’t feel like a complete imposter adding your insights.

Dinner drew to a close and the conversation had shifted to lighter topics. The last of the dessert plates were being cleared away - a decadent chocolate soufflé that had everyone at the table raving. The warm, intimate atmosphere of the private dining room was filled with the soft clink of coffee cups and the gentle murmur of conversation.

You were following an animated discussion between Maggie and Dr. Rossi about the evolving landscape of social media influencers that had devolved into them raving over some of their favorites - genuine contributors worth keeping an eye on as well as some guilty pleasures - when a sudden movement caught your eye. Lloyd Hansen had abruptly pushed back his chair, the legs scraping against the polished hardwood floor with a jarring screech that cut through the ambient chatter.

"If you'll excuse me," he said, his voice clipped and formal, "I have some urgent matters to attend to. Claude, thank you for hosting."

Before anyone could respond, Lloyd was striding towards the door, his tall frame cutting an imposing figure as he exited the private dining room. The sudden departure left a momentary awkward silence in its wake.

Claude cleared his throat, smoothly stepping in to fill the void. "Well, I suppose that concludes our evening. Thank you all for coming. I look forward to a fantastic panel discussion tomorrow."

As the group began to disperse, you couldn't help but feel a mix of relief and curiosity at Lloyd's abrupt exit. He had maintained an intimidating presence seemingly by design, and yet there was something intriguing about him that you couldn't quite put your finger on. It was frustrating that he was so curt and distant because part of you really wanted to dissect the man behind the mask.

Maggie approached you as you gathered your things. "You did wonderfully tonight," she said warmly. "I knew you'd fit right in."

You smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Maggie. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this opportunity."

“And I appreciate you being a good sport and sitting by our lovely Prince Charming,” Claude said, coming up next to you.

You laughed softly at Claude's comment about Lloyd. "He certainly lives up to his reputation," you said diplomatically.

Claude's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Indeed he does. But don't let his prickly exterior fool you - I’ve watched him climb up through Hansen Digital Global, and Lloyd can be brilliant at what he does. He just lacks certain social graces."

You nodded, thinking back to Lloyd's few but incisive comments during dinner. Despite his brusque manner, you couldn't deny the sharp intelligence behind his words.

"Well," Claude continued, "I think we've all earned a good night's rest. Remember, we'll meet at nine in the morning to go over the panel format and key points. Don't be late!"

next chapter: coming 12/31

We'll see more Lloyd next chapter. But one of the things I love about Cinderella folklore is that there's romance AND there's Cinderella's journey, and I really want to do that justice for you, too! This conference is a big deal! We can't waste all that potential for you!

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[usetheeauthor]

Kinkmas Day 3: Love Faces + Babytrapping + Bathroom Sex

Older!Realtor!Edward Lemuel/Guy Moratz x Bimbo!Influencer!Reader

Warnings: age gap (ed: early 50s, reader: mid 20s), delulu!edward but also he’s completely right, yandere!edward, oral (m receiving), ball worship, curvy/chubby!reader, mentions of insecurities, babytrapping, grower not show-er!edward, praise kink, little bit of humiliation kink, breeding kink, sloppy/rough kissing, unprotected p in v, creampie, scratching & biting, desperate sex, switch!couple

Summary: Banging your realtor in your new home sounds like a nice way to celebrate a close.

Gif credit: @/thelovewittch

a/n: writing for him cause I can’t get him out of my head so why the fuck not. Had the older him in mind and ran with it. Some inspo from the movie ‘The Substance’ in this because it felt very similar some of the messages they had.

YOUR knee brushed against his. Could it have been intentional? Could you even do something so scandalous in the vicinity of your parents? And you’re sitting super close. There’s so much room on this piano bench and yet you sat this close to him. God, he could smell your vanilla-scented perfume, wishing he could lathe his tongue across your delicate throat to see if he could taste it, too. He could feel the heat radiating from you and when it makes contact with his skin, he imagines for a moment that he could live in it. He hears the sweet gasp that escapes your lips when you run your fingers along the ivory keys.

YOU’RE a music enthusiast, it seems.

Edward was only showing off the piano display included with the home. He sat at its bench and playfully fooled around on the instrument when you decided to sit beside him and play truthfully. Beautifully.

Every now and then, you’d reach for a key over on his side and he’d force himself not to shudder when the action forced your bodies even closer.

He’s got to remain professional. His clients wouldn’t appreciate their realtor popping a boner over their sweet daughter but he’s hopelessly infatuated with you.

Just today—only 15 minutes into the tour where he’d first laid his eyes on you, Edward believes he’s found his soulmate in you. It’s love at first sight. You must feel it, too!

When he’d greeted you…you smiled and greeted him back! You laughed at his little jokes throughout the tour. And now you’re here beside him, making indiscreet attempts at being close while your parents examine the bedrooms upstairs.

“You played wonderfully?” He says with a goofy lovestruck smile.

“You liar,” You giggle. “That was so awful. If my piano teacher would have heard me play just now, he’d place one of those ice cream cone hats teachers used to make bad kids wear in the black and white days. I think it was called a dense hat?”

“A dunce hat.” He corrects.

“That’s the one,” You nod, pointing an acrylic-donned nail at him. “You’re so smart, Mr. Guy.”

“M-my first name is actually Guy.”

“So your name is Mr. Guy Guy?” You ask, blinking perplexedly.

“Guy Moratz.” Edward answers, trying to contain his excitement.

YOU just asked for his name! You half-remembered his name! If this isn’t your attempt to get to know him then he doesn’t what is?

“There’s a pool in this house, right, Mr. Guy?” You ask, glossing over his correction.

“Yes, an indoor pool.”

“Sweet,” You smile before pulling out your cell phone. “Think you could take some photos of me around the place.”

“Of course. Anything for you, my darling…client.” Edward answers awkwardly, attempting to stand on his feet but you sink your sharp nails into his biceps a little, pulling him back down on the bench. His dick jumps a little in trousers at this.

“Can I get one quick selfie with you?” You plead with the added pout and puppy dog eyes. You look so gosh darn pretty. “I want my instagram followers to see me with my new realtor. They’re coming along with me on my housing journey so I’m documenting anything I can. I’m practically the most mature influencer of my friend circle. They’re all still living together as roommates but I think I’m ready to be an adult. Just between you and I, though, let’s pretend I was the one who’d found you and not my parents.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.” Edward says and just as he finishes his sentence, you snap a quick photo of the two of you. You show him the picture and he frowns for a moment. He wasn’t ready and the photo didn’t capture his good side. What if you stare at that photo long enough and think he’s not as handsome as you’d believe? Or worse you show this photo to your girlfriends and they’d tell you how unattractive he is.

“You don’t like it?” You ask in a soft, whimper.

“It’s…okay. I was just in the middle of speaking so my mouth looks a little wide in that photo which made my head shape look weird and…”

“I could retake it. No biggie. But I’d like to keep this photo anyway. If you’d let me, pretty please.” You beg.

“Why?”

You lean in, whispering, “Because I want…to compare my best photos and I think I look hot as fuck in this one,” Standing on your feet, you yank down your tight pink dress that rode up your thick thighs before strutting to the nearest hallway. Edward. “Come on, take me to that indoor pool you’ve been raving about. I don’t want my parents catching up to us in case my besties want to facetime. I’ll see if I can crop you out of that photo later, if you’d like. Or I can even edit it to make it look better so that way we won’t have to keep retaking it. I, also, hate it whenever a friend keeps a bad photo of me just to use it against me or something.“

Edward fawns over you. You’re so considerate! To be kind enough to edit a photo for your realtor?! You’d probably do such a kind act for him no matter what he looked like. For that reason, his heart further warms up to you. You’re different. You’re not like Ingrid or the other women. You care about his feelings, you saw through him for the better. Just as a soulmate would do.

“Here is your stunning indoor pool room for your comfort, privacy, and all year-round enjoyment. This luxurious space boasts—”

“Can you take a photo of me here by the pool?” You question, already having dipped your feet into the cool water.

“Yes.” He takes a step forward looking for a position that would best capture the light in your eyes. Every angle is perfect. Oh, to have been born with such beauty. There’s no doubt your children together would be gorgeous.

Edward settles near the pool’s edge, standing in front of you as he snaps a quick photo. You stand giddily on your feet, singing him praises of his methods. “Are you some kind of a professional photographer?”

“Nope but I do a little acting on the side.” He laughs but once again his smile becomes a deep frown. Just in the background of the photo is his face upon the water’s surface, the waviness of the ripples causing its reflected image to distort. It’s…ugly.

“You think you can crop that part out, too, dear?” He inquires.

“What part?” You ask, squinting. He points at the small face in the background, it’s so small in comparison to the rest of the image that his thick index finger practically buried it. “Geez, you’re quite the stickler. But I can do that for you.”

“Thank you,” He exhales. “You look amazing in this photo of course. So you don’t have to delete the photo.”

“Mhm.” You say, side-eyeing him a little.

Edward lets out a nervous laugh, hoping to relieve any awkward tension. “Shall we go to the home theater?”

“Actually let’s see a bathroom, preferably ones with nice large mirrors. I need to take a pic of my outfit of the day.” You suggest.

“As you wish.” He laughs, feeling his confidence mask slipping. From the way you grimace at him, you can surely tell he’s crumbling. Could it be that you could sense his old self shining through? That you can see that he’s just a husk of a man still even after all these years. There has to be someone he could convince that he’s made for you. Just one more good picture to show you that he’s as perfect as you.

You’re led to a guest bathroom with gold accents and pearly white floor and wall tiles. There’s two large vanity mirrors—in fact, every surface of this bathroom is reflective. Edward is hesitant to enter, watching you take your photos from just outside the door.

You shoot him an uncomfortable glance, placing your phone on the counter. “Are you just going to stand there like an old creep?”

Old.

He is old, isn’t he? Fading in youth and beauty while you’re currently in the thick of it. And all he can do is ogle you like a pervert in your presence, yearning for you to see him in a better light.

“I’m asking you to come in here, dude,” You laugh, taking his hands to drag him inside. “You owe me a selfie.”

“In here? Wouldn’t that be a little strange?”

“Not for the kinds I wanna take. Here is the best place,” You whisper in his ear, sending a chill down his spine. You’re so, so close. He can hardly breathe. “The lighting’s better in here anyway. Ya know, so we can best capture your features.”

You stared up at him with those curious wide eyes, studying him up close. He couldn’t possibly look appealing from this angle. He still has the faded scars of the surgery just under his chin. You shouldn’t have to see him this way. So imperfect.

“Great idea.”

“Awesome! So, we’re gonna take this quick photo op and then we’ll go back to consult with my parents on how I feel about all this place, yeah? Do you have any pointers for how you want to take this photo?”

“No flash photography,” He says with a half-heartedly cocky wink. “The exposure might over wash my face with light, making it look all blotchy and sharp. And keep it at a distance just about my waist so it’s not too close but not too far either.”

He’s just so funny and kind of pathetic to you that you can’t help but find it endearing. “Wow, you know your angles, that’s for sure. Must’ve had a lot of practice. Are you sure weren’t a photographer in another life?”

“Just gotta keep up appearances,” He laughs. “It’s what pays the bills.”

“So is it always so prim and proper with you? Can’t it be a little…raw? Sometimes things should be candid; in the moment. Perfect can be a little boring sometimes. “You turn for a moment to lock the door behind you then your hands are on his belt and your knees are on the floor. “I can show you the best way to take photos. Try this method once and you’ll always feel beautiful no matter what.”

Edward isn’t sure what to do, mouth dry. All he can do is let out a strangled gasp and whine. You’ve barely touched him yet and he’s already a mess.

Torturously slow, you forcefully untuck his shirt from his pants and begin to unbuckle his belt, rubbing your face up and down along the trouser’s fabric as you do so. Your eyes never leave his, wanting him to see your desire in them. Yanking down his underwear along with his pants, his semi-hardened cock is free of its confines. You pinch it between two acrylic fingers, holding it the way you would a little worm.

“Aww, how adorable.” You giggle, releasing his cock so it fell over his balls. You lap your tongue over the length of it before pulling away with a stick line of saliva connecting you two. He whimpers quietly, trying to hold back his facial expressions. Even in the throes of passion, he stresses his appearance.

You cup his large balls in your hand, bringing them to your lips to place a red lipstick stained kiss on each scrotum. “Now these are huge. So good for breeding your woman. I bet you’ve got so much cum in them just begging to impregnate.”

“Fuck…please.” Edward whines, white knuckling the marble sink behind him.

You take the uncircumcised tip into your mouth sucking on it lightly and his eyes roll back, lips parting in complete bliss. It’s been so long since he’s felt the warmth of an eager mouth around his cock.

“It turns me on seeing the way your face changes,” You sigh before lowering your mouth down his length once more. He swells at your praise, growing larger in size down your throat. You gag, pulling away as spit dribbles down your chin. “Ooo, a grower. You’re full of surprises, Mr. Guy.”

You suckle on his leaking tip, kneading his balls to milk him for all his worth. Edward’s facial expressions are beyond reserved by this point, allowing himself to enjoy your worship of him.

“I love you.” He rasps, mainly to himself but you hear his breathy words nonetheless.

You moan against him, cranking up your motions on his shaft. It shouldn’t turn you on this much that this stranger just to you he loved you. It was so pathetic and sickeningly that’s what made it all the more hot.

You dig your nails into the back of his thighs, taking his cock deeper until your nose brushes against his fuzzy pubic hair.

Edward suddenly gets the twisted plan to assure you as his for good. The thought of finishing inside you plagues his mind enough that he forces your mouth off him, yanking you to your feet, to bend you over the sink. He’s going to put a baby in you. You’ll be his forever then.

“I need to be inside you. I have to.” He whimpers, yanking your panties down your legs.

“I wanna look at you. Can I please?”

He answers you with a passionate kiss, turning you over so that he can wrap his arms around your rubenesque form to seat you on the cold marble.

Your kisses are sloppy and messy, neither of you able to remain controlled enough not to knock teeth or bite lips. Edward spreads your legs for him, sliding you down the counter just enough to close the gap between your bodies.

You remove his glasses that fogged within your heated entanglement. With one hand held his jaw in place, keeping him from hiding his face. The other went down between your bodies, guiding him inside you. You both let out groans at the euphoric feeling.

He starts out at a heavy pace, slamming himself hard and deep inside you. You barely have time to adjust, forced to take him the punishing pounding. Though, your eyes threaten to flutter close from the bliss, you keep your eyes locked on him watching his every facial expression.

“Look at yourself, baby,” You mewl. “You look so fucking good when you don’t care how you look. God, those pretty faces you’re making are gonna make me come so hard.”

He glances at himself in the mirror. His unkempt appearance startled him for a moment but then your nails rake down his back, stab into his buttocks forcing him deeper inside you and he’s soon abandoning any care. You begin to suck along his jawline, meeting him thrust for thrust.

His hands excitedly explore whatever they can touch: cupping your ass, squeezing your breasts, clawing his nails along your thick thighs, or holding you tight against him.

The sounds of your tryst are sheer filth as his grunts clash in time with your moans. Neither of you do anything to minimize your volumes, disregarding that your parents could be just outside the door hearing this.

You control him by his hair forcing him to look at you while his face contorted in pleasure. His lips are now swollen from the rough kisses, his hair and clothes are disheveled, and he’s far gone from bliss. He’s absolutely perfect for you like this.

“It’s… so wet,” He whispers hotly in your ear, considering it your only warning you’ll get before he shoots up his hot liquid inside you. He expects some resistance; for you to push him away. Instead, you draw him close, touching the tip of your panting tongue to his as you wrap your legs around him. You refuse to let go. “I’m close. Fuck, I’m so close.”

“Cum in me. Please, baby, please. I’m not on birth control. Need you to breed me. Wanna be owned by you.” You cry, clamping your teeth on his bottom lip in time with your clenching walls.

Once again, you both let out guttural groans in unison as you reach your explosive peaks. You sob, real hot tears streaming down your face as you finally received what you’ve been craving.

His euphoric expression singes into the back of his mind forever a memory. He’d never let loose this wildly with any woman. The two of you tremble against one another from the intense aftershock of your combined orgasms. Edward plunges himself into your wet heat repeatedly, filling the air with sticky clicking noises made by your combined fluids. Satisfied you’ve received every drop, he finally stills.

“I’ll think about closing on this house. On the condition that we christen every room in this place. My hope is that I can pull the most unholy faces out of you once I ride you like a horse,” You trace your finger along the salt and pepper stubbles on his chin. “Promise me you won’t hold back next time, pretty boy. I meant it when I said you owe another photo.”

[tubattutu]

Held and Handled

summary: pegging your sweet boyfriend for the first time.

pairing: idol!huening kai x fem!reader

warnings: pegging, reader uses a strap on, sub!kai, dom!reader, soobin has a gf, petnames (babe, baby, hun), kai is sensitive and loud asf, as always lmk if i missed some !

a/n: merry christmas eve and happy holidays !!!!! been wanting to write something like this for a whileeeee so enjoy <3

"i swear man, that food was so good." soobin commented, taking a sip of his drink he had left over from the restaurant him and kai had just went to.

kai just chuckled, walking back to the dorm with his best friend. he kinda just zoned out as soobin talked about something he couldn’t recall, until a question caught him from his zoned out state.

“so how’s it going with y/n?” he asked curiously, sipping on his drink once more as he glanced over at kai, both of them still walking towards their dorm building. “mmh.. pretty good, actually.” kai replied, glancing down at the ground to his shoes, his hands in his pant pockets.

“really? nothing interesting?” soobin frowned, chuckling, still looking over at kai.

kais mind was all over the place, thinking and deciding whether or not he should mention what he was thinking… maybe soobin could help, maybe suggest something.

“uhh… well… i just.. i have a problem..” kai sighed, watching his feet move in rhythm with soobins. “problem? what’s up?” soobin asked, sounding a bit concerned.

“well… i guess lately whenever me and y/n do stuff it’s like.. kinda boring..” kai expressed and glanced over at soobin, the wind slightly blowing his hair. “oh? really?” soobin grinned, suddenly getting an idea in his head at the mention.

“you should try pegging.”

“pegging? are you serious?” kais eyebrows raised, surprised at the suggestion. “yeah, pegging. me and my girlfriend tried it a couple times and the first time we did it, it was probably the fastest i ever came.” soobin explained a bit too confidently. kai just made a face at that, but then started to think about it.

“well- what if y/n’s not comfortable with that? and won’t that like.. hurt?” kai questioned, frowning in confusion. “i mean, of course it’ll hurt at first but you’ll probably adjust to it. when you go visit her tonight you should talk to her about it. maybe she’ll be fine with the idea.” soobin nodded towards kai, taking a sip of his drink.

kai hummed in response, thinking about the suggestion.

— ♡

by the time he’d got to your apartment, you were already back from work. you both lied in eachothers arms on the couch, watching tv, when he suddenly remembered what soobin had suggested to him earlier that day. he sighed, unsure if he should even bring the idea up.

“uh- babe? can i talk to you about something?” he asked, stroking your hair back gently and softly, feeling the smooth strands between his fingers. “yeah, of course baby. whats wrong?” your head shifts up to look up at him from his chest, his warm body engulfing yours.

“well.. i was talking to soobin earlier today about how.. i just think lately when we.. y’know, do stuff, it just feels kinda boring and repetitive.. and he suggested something new for me to try,” he explained, a soft blush growing on his now pink cheeks. “… what did he say?” you ask, eyebrows furrowing in confusion and curiosity.

“he uhh… he suggested.. like.. pegging-?” he said embarrassedly. he swore he felt like his face had became a tomato. he was so incredibly embarrassed.

it was quiet for a moment, none of you speaking for what it felt like minutes but was only seconds, before you spoke up. “pegging?” it was quiet again, only for just a second again. “yeah- pegging… we don’t have to, i was just wondering if you’d like to try it sometime or..”

“yeah, i’m down..” you agreed, nodding subtly as well. you were a bit surprised at the idea though. you didn’t really expect your sweet boyfriend to be into pegging..

“really? when should we do it though?” he asks, shifting just a bit underneath you to get comfy, his fingers running through your hair once more. “whenever you can, i guess..” you suggest, lying your head back on his chest.

“this weekend? after work?” he rubs your back softly, staring down at your pretty face.

“mhm..”

— ♡

it was finally friday. for the rest of the week kai had been thinking about tonight. he was just so excited, but also nervous. how would it feel? would it feel as good as soobin described? he hoped it wouldn’t hurt too bad at first…

he was actually pretty dedicated to it though. he even went out of his way to go to the adult store and buy a strap on so the two of you could just go straight to it.

“babe, i’m home!” you call out, placing your purse onto the island of your kitchen and slipping off your shoes. you’d knew he’d be here by the time you got home. he waited for you in your bedroom, and when you opened the door and looked over at him, he looked up from his phone and smiled at the sight of his pretty girlfriend.

“hey baby..” you smile, climbing into bed next to him and kissing his lips. it seemed like you completely forgot about what you two were gonna do tonight. he hums and kisses you back, rubbing your side before pulling away to speak. “do you still wanna try.. that thing i mentioned a couple days ago?”

his question brought the memory back up into your head. you smile and nod after a moment, kissing his cheek. “are you sure you wanna do this? aren’t you scared i’m gonna like.. accidentally hurt you or something?” you ask worriedly, rubbing his cheek with your thumb softly.

“well, i mean.. yeah, but we can just go slow at first…” kai reassured you, smiling and stroking your pretty hair. “and.. are we even ready? like do you already have the..” you hint, and he already knew what you were talking about. he nodded, reaching down underneath the bed and pulling out the strap on. your cheeks flush, flustered at the sex toy.

“oh.. are- are you sure i’m not like… gonna hurt you with that?” you question, your eyes analyzing it worriedly. he chuckled, handing it to you. “i’ll be fine hun..”

you nod, sighing and taking the strap on, your fingers grazing the fake cock for a moment to feel the material.

and soon you both were already in position. the strap on was already around your hips, meanwhile kai was already prepared underneath you with his cock leaking precum, his legs spread for you. you reached out to rub his thighs, your eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“i don’t wanna hurt you…” you spoke, still worried as hell. “babe, i’ll be fine, i promise… if you hurt me i’ll tell you..” he reassured you once more, softly rubbing your hand that was on his thigh.

his constant reassurance made you feel a bit better. you swallow nervously and adjust the length that was lathered with lube, rubbing a bit of lube on his entrance before finally sliding the fake cock into his hole. his breath hitches, whimpering, his walls clenching and unclenching around the length.

you glance up, seeing the look of slight discomfort on his face and you immediately felt worried again. you stopped moving, “are you okay baby? did i hurt you?”

“m’ fine.. jus’ burns a little… keep going slow..” he softly spoke, reaching out to hold your hand. you hold his back, squeezing it soothingly and slowly sliding in further until you eventually bottomed out. he lets out a whiny moan, squeezing your hand tightly..

once the burning sensations faltered, he untensed and swallowed thickly. “you can move now..” he confirmed. at that, you gently held his hips, slowly and softly thrusting in and out of his tight hole. he cried out from the feeling, the fake cock brushing against all the right spots.

you glance up at his face once more just to check up on him, the worry you felt faltering a bit. you decide to test the waters, moving a little quicker into him, making sure to be gentle and careful just in case you accidentally hurt him.

“y/n-“ he moaned, his breath heavy as he desperately reached down to grip onto the sheets. “faster..” he whined.

gladly, you start to move even faster, his jaw dropping open while loud moans and cries spilled from his mouth uncontrollably. “y/n-! s-so good!” his breath came out in short, soft gasps, his cock bouncing against his stomach with each quick thrust.

his moans sounded so adorable to you, so sensitive and cute. you start to slow down, letting him catch his breath just for a moment. he pants, a little disappointed you slowed down, but was thankful.

“fuck… y/n that—“ he couldn’t even finish his sentence before you suddenly started your thrusts again, this time a little too fast. he almost screamed, his thighs trembling as his prostate was pounded into over and over again. he cried out your name over and over again, his eyes tearing up and his desperate moans getting louder as you reached down to stroke his hard cock. he swore he felt like his legs were going to give out right then and there. his cock finally bursted with so much spurts of cum, covering his tummy and some of his chest with his own seed.

he pants as you slowed down, your thrusts now gentle and slow to help him ride out his powerful orgasm.

“are you okay..? i didn’t hurt you right?” you ask, rubbing his thighs softly and soothingly.

“i-i’m okay.. felt so good..” he spoke almost quietly, his breath still heavy. you hum at that, gently pulling out and cleaning him up, before the two of you finally head to bed, snuggling up in each others arms.

[dixons-sunshine]

You hummed quietly to yourself in the kitchen of the small two-story house you and Daryl occupied in Alexandria. After a harsh, intense period of fighting with not only the undead but the Saviours as well, it was nice to have some semblance of peace in the aftermath. It had been a grueling process to rebuild the remains of Alexandria from the ground up, but with the help from everyone in the community, as well as from people in other communities as well, Alexandria stood tall and proud once again. With all the houses rebuilt and with additional houses built as well, you and Daryl had opted to claim one of the smaller properties as your own, a sanctuary away from the bustling crowd of Alexandria after an exhausting day.

The paragraph of my first ever work in the The Walking Dead writing community. The story that kick-started this blog into what it is today. in SICKNESS and in health, posted February 25th 2024. Honestly, it feels like a lifetime and no time at all has passed since then. It’s such a surreal feeling.

When I wrote that story, I definitely did not expect anything to come of it. I remember being on season seven at the time of writing that, and feeling my heart break with what happened to Daryl in the sanctuary. I wrote that little comfort fic for myself at first, just to feel better about the hurt that was season 7, but then I thought “hey. I might as well post it. I’m sure someone out there will enjoy it.” And that’s what I did. I posted it and exited Tumblr directly after, and did not touch it again for a whole day. And when I did…

I saw my notifications showing me a bright blue ‘99+’. And I had gained a whole 20 followers, putting my follower count at the time at 29. Seeing that made my heart burst with joy. I could not believe that people were actually enjoying what I wrote. Also, I remember scrolling through my notifications and stopping dead in my tracks when I saw that @angelwings-crossbowstrings, aka one of the people whose stories inspired me to try my hand at writing for Daryl in the first place, had not only liked it, but reblogged it and followed me. My poor mom got bombarded with “holy shit, this amazing writer just followed me!” messages that day. She had no idea what I was yapping about, but she was supportive.

After that, I tried it again. Wrote something, posted it, and it got notes. And then again. I wrote my first installment for my “Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU” as my third ever fic, which is still my most popular series to date. That fic also served as the gateway to people sending me their amazing ideas via requests.

And the hits just kept on coming after that. And I still can’t believe that I get to say that people like my writing. Take that, my third grade English teacher.

This year had its ups, and it definitely had its downs. Due to the fact that I was so excited to get this blog up and running, I pushed myself too hard a lot of times, and I have burnt myself out on more than one occasion. I told myself that if I didn’t pump out fics every day, people would be disappointed in me. I had set high expectations for myself, and I felt so bad when I couldn’t live up to them. However, through lots of reassurance and guidance, I realized that it was unhealthy for me, mentally speaking. I was pushing myself way too hard, and I needed to slow down if I wanted to keep the fun of writing alive for me.

This year, I also had a moment where I was scared. I found something that made me realize that my blog could have potentially been the next target for a known plagiarist, and it made me fearful. I pour my heart and soul into every story that I write, so having the safety that I associate with writing threatened was a terrifying thing. However, thanks to the vigilant creators behind the @fanfic-plagiarism-watchdog blog, my worries were settled. (Although I still keep my eyes peeled for any suspicious activity on that other blog.)

Now, for the ups. Let’s get the negativity out of here. We’re ending this year with a bang.

I never celebrated this, but I reached 1k followers this year! It happened so quickly, I barely had time to register and think of how to celebrate it. At the time of posting this, I’m a little less than 70 followers away from 2k, and I just wanna say thank you to each and every one of you for deciding to stick around. Your love and support means the world to me.

I had a work of mine surpass 2000 notes! That number is still so surreal to me, oh my god.

Not something writing related, but I moved this year. It was definitely a good decision and I don’t regret it at all. It was hard moving everything from one house to the next, but in the end, it was definitely worth it.

I also met some amazing people because of this blog. I still can’t believe that I get to say that I know them on a somewhat personal level. @lazyneonrabbitt, @angelwings-crossbowstrings, @enlightndone, @shadowcitrine, @dixondystopia, @dix0nvix3n, @deansapplepie, @snailss, @remnantsofsleep and @yevmarie.

And I can not forget about my girl @holdmytesseract. You’re one of my absolute favourite people ever and I love you. Keep being your awesome self, sweetheart.

And @thevegandarkelf. I still can’t believe that I get to talk to her on a daily basis. What started out with a comment about how our angels (our OCs, Vec and Georgie) would have been friends in an alternate universe spiraled into, if I may be so bold, a friendship. Taylor has become a huge part of my day-to-day life, and I honestly can’t believe that I get to just text you randomly throughout the day about anything at all. I love you.

I would also like to give the biggest of thanks to @daryl-dixon-daydreams. Her fic entitled “Plan A” was the first ever work of Daryl I read here on Tumblr, and she was one of my biggest inspirations to start writing after my long hiatus. So thank you for blessing us with your amazing writing, and I can’t wait to read more of what you put out.

Now, to finish this off, I thought I’d give my personal favourite fics I wrote this year:

Daryl Dixon:

Hazelnut—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Was It was Boogeyman?—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams—Young!Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Needs To Be Perfect—Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Crushes Are For School Girls—Daryl Dixon x Georgianna Hawkins (OC)

Scud Frohmeyer:

Look At Me—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader

Perfect End—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader

Performance—Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader

Murphy MacManus:

Make A Move—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader

The Safety—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader

Irish Man In A Closet—Murphy MacManus x Fem!Reader

Thank you all so much for sticking with me this year. I love each and every one of you so much, and I can’t wait to embark into the new year with all of you.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, and happy new year in advance!

[giggly-squiggily]

Making It A Big Deal (Blue Lock)

Okay listen- I know I said I wasn't planning on writing anything this week, and normally I don't write character birthday fics (on their actual birthdays) cause your girl can't remember them half the time- but it's CHIGIRI! My literal son- my darling boy; my precious baby! I had to! Anyway happy Birthday Chigiri Hyoma! (December 23)

Summary: Chigiri fails to mention it's his birthday. His friends find out anyway.

Chigiri knew what was coming when he came in after his evening bath.

“Get his ass.” Barou growled.

He just didn’t think it would actually happen.

“Whoa- what? AH!” The redhead tried to run, but his exit was quickly blocked by Reo. Seconds later, he was ambushed, hurdled in by bodies as he was picked up and tossed gently onto the nearest bed. “Wait, wait, hold on- what’s happening?”

“You son of a biscuit eating bulldog!” Isagi growled, yet his eyes and smile betrayed any real anger. “Just how long were you planning on keeping today a secret?”

Huh? What- oh. Chigiri averted his gaze, cheeks warming up at being caught. “Uh..”

“Aha! You weren’t planning on telling us at all, were you?” Bachira cried, poking an accusatory finger into his cheek. “How cruel of you, Missy.”

“I’d say! Why wouldn’t you tell us today was your birthday?” Reo demanded from his spot overhead, pulling Chigiri’s arms up. “If I knew, I would have planned something! You know I’m really good at planning things. Even your introverted ass would have liked it!”

“It’s not really a big deal-”

“Not a big deal?” A chorus of voices cried out. Even Nagi sounded shocked at such a statement. “Dude, it’s your freaking birthday! You’re turning- hey how old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“Seventeen! Dancing queen!” Isagi exclaimed, the rest of the boys around him nodding in solemn agreement. “You gotta feel the beat on the tambourine!”

“What…?” Chigiri blinked, suddenly lost. Nagi tsked, clicking his tongue.

“This is a hassle. Let’s tickle him.”

“Yeah!” A chorus of cheers drowned out Chigiri’s “Wait!” Before long the redhead was a mess, squirming the best he could with several hands on him. Isagi and Bachira poked and prodded at his ribs as Barou squeezed his thighs. Nagi snuck a few lazy fingers into his neck while Reo pinned his wrists with his knees, tracing his biceps with featherlike touches.

“Cohohoohohme ohohohohohon! Aheahhahahaha, thhiihihis is buhuhuhuhllshihihihihihit!” Chigiri pleaded through his squeaky giggles and laughs, trying to hide his face in his arm with little coverage. “Lehehehhet me uhuhuhuhp, my hahahahair’s stihihihill wehehehehehhet! Aheahhahahahaha!”

“It’ll dry by the time we’re done. Think of it as a new hairstyle- the tickle-tousled!” Isagi told him sweetly, playing his ribs like a piano. “Wouldn’t that look nice, Bachira?”

“Oo, I like it! Of course, Missy looks pretty in just about anything.” The dribbler agreed, digging a thumb into Chigiri’s hip and earning a squeal. “Oo, bad spot?”

“Nah, this is!” Barou called from behind, worming a few fingers behind both of Chigiri’s knees, mindful of his injury. “This’ll teach you for being such a brat!”

“It’s his birthday- let him be bratty.” Reo chided with a snicker, clawing at the redhead’s armpits and making him scream. “We can use it as a reason to keep tickling him.”

“Say Happy Birthday, princess.” Nagi gave up on tickling his neck in favor of taking a group selfie, making sure to get everyone’s smiling face in frame. “This one’s for the books.”

“Nohohohoho, dohohohohn’t tahhahake pihihihctuuuhuhuhres! Aheahhahaha, pleaheehahhahase!” Chigiri begged, lungs starting to ache from how hard he was laughing. His face felt so hot he swore steam must have been rising from it, yet he couldn’t say he wasn’t having fun. His birthday being so close to Christmas oftentimes meant a small yet quick celebration between preparing for friends and family visits. To have such attention on it was a rare yet incredibly pleasant experience.

“Hehe, okay okay- let’s give the birthday boy a breather, yeah? Can’t have him die before he’s old enough to drink.” Isagi signaled for everyone to stop, gifting the redhead much needed air. Chigiri hugged himself as he curled into a loose ball, giggling against the pillow as his friends laughed and cooed at him. “King- did you get it?”

“Of course I did, donkey. Who the hell do you think I am?” Chigiri didn’t know what “It” was- he was far too focused on the feeling of Bachira gently combing fingers through his hair, undoing any tangles. Reo and Nagi eased him into a sitting position to find..

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!” They chorused, singing off-key while a convenience store cake sat before him. On top of it was a slightly melted ‘17’, the flame dancing gently at the tip. “Happy birthday, dear Hyoma! Happy birthday to you!” They cheered, and Chigiri suddenly felt like crying for all the right reasons.

“Quick, blow the candle out before Ego-sensei finds out!” Bachira encouraged, earning a wet laugh from the redhead as he did just that. A series of spoons came next as they dug in, taking bites and bantering about with one another.

“Did you make a wish?” Nagi asked from his left, voice soft against the rest of their friend’s chatter. “Don’t tell me- it won’t come true if you say it outloud.”

“I did.” Chigiri nodded around his spoon, smiling when Reo threw an arm around him from his right. “I don’t need to worry about that- it already came true.”

“Awwww!” They chorused obnoxiously, making him blush and laugh in his hands.

He was so, so grateful to have friends like this.

Thanks for reading! :D

[reywaffle]

Generational String

Pairing: Harry x Draco, James x Regulus

Description: Harry Potter is desperately into Draco Malfoy, but he has no clue about it. He finds himself going through some old stuff in Sirius’ attic. He finds an old notebook that used to be his dad’s. Harry discovers that his dad was not only with his mom, but also dated Regulus Black during his time at Hogwarts. He reads through the flashbacks which help him to process his own feelings for Draco.

Word count: 1.7k

Author’s note: This is the first chapter of my first ever fic, so please be kind. I wanted to do this cause I enjoy fanfiction and wanted to practice my creative writing skills. If you do like it then give it a like or comment and feel free to follow if you want more updates. The next chapter should be posted later today. Thanks for reading!🫶

Playlist I listened to while writing

Chapter 1: Pages of a Secret Story

20 October, 1995

Harry James Potter loathed Draco Lucius Malfoy. At least, that’s what he thinks. His friends know differently. Ron and Hermione knew that Harry had a massive crush on Draco. It was so obvious that his whole house could know as well. The only person that didn’t know was Harry himself. He was completely oblivious to his own feelings.

Right now, Harry is making his way toward 12 Grimmauld Place to visit his godfather, Sirius Black. He’s staying there for the weekend to spend some time with the only living man he considered family. He was a bit nervous; he didn’t really know what he could do there. He supposes he will find out in about a minute. He stared at the flat, almost afraid to walk in. He hadn’t really gotten to know Sirius that much since he had to stay in hiding after escaping Azkaban in Harry’s 3rd year. This was the first time he’d ever spent any elongated time with him. Harry made his way to the door, hesitating slightly. He knocked. He waits a moment and hears a pair of footsteps getting louder, making their way to the door. He watches the door handle quickly turn. He looks up to see the kind face of Sirius Black looking him right in the center of his bright green eyes. “Harry! Welcome!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Yeah, thank you for inviting me over Sirius.”

“Of course, my dear boy! Please come on in. I’d hate to be seen.” Sirius rushed Harry inside. The place looked exactly as he remembered it when he first came to join The Order. It still had that cold and regretful feeling to it. Almost as if there was a ghost haunting the place. A ghost with a lot of regret that is. “Please make yourself at home this weekend. I made Kreature clean all the rooms, so you’d be able to choose which one you’d want to sleep in. They’re just down that hall if you want to take your bag down.” Sirius told Harry, with an almost equally as nervous tone as Harry felt on the inside whilst gesturing toward a stairwell. “Alright. Thank you.”

“Of course. And down there is the kitchen and sitting room if you want to hang around down here.” He said now gesturing towards the corner that led to the kitchen. Harry nodded and started to make his way up the stairs. It was quite a dark and harrowing hallway. It made Harry feel as if the walls were closing in on him. It was a bit different last time he was here because there were also about 13 other people there to make it a bit more comfier. Now it was completely silent aside from the faint sound of Kreatcher cooking dinner all the way downstairs.

He made his way down the hallway and decided to stop at a room that said “Regulus” on the door. Harry knew that name. It belonged to Sirius’ estranged younger brother. For some reason, Harry felt drawn to the room. As if fate were telling him to open the door. He stared at the golden door knob for a moment before reaching toward it. He slowly turned the knob and when he opened the door he saw a room no different than a teenage boys would be. It had peeling blue wallpaper that had decaying Slytherin quidditch posters tacked to it. There was a piano in the corner, as well as a desk and dresser on the other wall. They were all the same shade of brown, but the dresser had a dirty mirror on top of it. The bed was quite wide which left little walking room through the bedroom. Though Harry didn’t mind too much, considering he lived in a cupboard for 10 years of his life, this room was like a mansion. The sheets were a reddish color and the comforter was blue. They were the only things in the room that looked new. Everything else seemed to have been sitting there and rotting for 30 years- “well I suppose it had.” Thought Harry.

He set his stuff down and sat on the bed. He was tempted to look through the desk, as he was a bit nosey sometimes. He started toward it and sat down at the chair. It almost gave out at Harry’s weight the second he plopped down on it. He stared at it for a while and pulled on the golden handle that opened the bottom drawer. Inside was only some old parchment and quill. There was also an empty bottle of ink that Harry assumed was either used up or dried out over time. It all was quite boring, so Harry decided to wander around a bit. He set his jacket down on the bed and set back off for the unlit hallway.

As Harry stood in the hallway he contemplated where he should go. He looked around and then up. He stopped and noticed that there was an attic door opening with a string hanging to pull down the ladder. He slowly walked toward it cause he didn’t want to be too loud incase he wasn’t allowed to be up there. He did stop for a second and consider whether or not it was a good idea to go into the attic. Dinner was almost ready and he wasn’t sure if he was allowed up there. After sort of careful consideration though, he still made his way up the rickety ladder.

The attic had a dusty smell to it. Harry could feel the 30 plus layers of dust traveling up his nose and down to his lungs. He coughed into his shirt sleeve, trying to conceal that he was upstairs. The attic was cold as well, but not in a temperature way. More of a lonely way, like no one had been up there in years. The attic was practically filled to the brim with boxes of stuff. He looked around a bit, but nothing caught his attention. That is, until he saw a small box labeled James sitting in the corner of the room. He made his way to it, eager to find out what things of his fathers Sirius still has. He picked up the box and sat on the attic floor in its place. It wasn’t very heavy and it was also untaped. He set the box on his lap and began to open it. Inside he saw only 3 things, including a quidditch trophy from 1974, a few Spider-Man comics from the 70’s, and a journal. Harry had to admit he was a little hesitant to open the journal. Last time he found a journal it turned out to be the ghost of Tom Riddle and he was going around petrifying people with a basilisk. He even forced Ginny Weasly to do his dirty work for him. Thinking about that time during his second year surprisingly reassured Harry that nothing can be as bad as that.

He opened the journal and saw that there were entries all throughout. Turns out it was a diary from his dads time at Hogwarts. The first entry was from 4 October, 1975. Almost exactly 10 years ago. Harry started to read in hopes to find a connection with his dad. The only other time he felt that way was when he played quidditch, and he desperately craved a way to know his family better. He never got the chance to know either of his parents personally. He only heard the same things from everyone else; His mother was bright and his father was a prankster.

4 October , 1975

Today was the first day of quidditch practice for this year's season. I saw Regulus in the air practicing as well. He looked so beautiful from that angle. Like he was an angel. Or perhaps a demon sent to tempt me. Unfortunately, it was working a little too well. Everytime I see him, it’ s like my heart swells up and might just burst. I feel a little bad for Lily, even though we never dated or anything, I still told her I liked her for 4 years. I’m just glad she never felt the same. I also feel bad for Sirius. I mean what kind of best friend falls for his best friend's baby brother. I mean it’ s not like I’d act on these feelings anyway. Not unless I got Sirius’ blessing which I know he would never give. That kinda sucks doesn’ t it? I suppose I ought to go to bed. I have more practice in the morning. At least I can watch from a distance right?

Harry’s jaw had dropped and his eyes had completely bugged out. He could not believe what he just read. His head and heart started to pound in synchronization as the words lightly uttered out of his mouth. “My dad and Sirius’ little brother?” Harry had a fear behind his voice. Almost as if he was scared of his own thoughts about this. While he had no problem with homosexuals, he never really knew any, and he certainly didn’t think his father would be one. About a million thoughts raced through Harry’s brain. However, the one that stuck out the most was “Does this mean my dad never loved my mom?” This thought terrified him. If it were true that would mean everything he had ever been told was a lie.

“Harry? Would you like to come down for dinner?” Sirius faintly shouted from the bottom of the stairs. Harry forced himself out of his trance to answer him back. “Yeah, I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Alright.” Harry heard back. He quickly stood and set the box back in its spot. He kept the diary and swiftly climbed back down the ladder to shut the door on the ceiling. He went into his room and shoved the diary in his jacket’s inner pocket. He made his way downstairs trying to remain calm and get through this dinner as fast as he could because oddly enough, Harry found himself wanting to read more.

Links to more chapters(will add as I continue to write)

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 19

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Comet

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff, funeral

Word Count: 1.1k

Author's Note: Merry Christmas everyone! I come bearing a new chapter! Wow, can't believe it's been four months since my last update 😅 Sorry for disappearing on y'all! I can't commit to my previous bi-weekly schedule of updating, but it should be a lot better. Personally, I think this chapter is trash, and far from my usual writing (my beta says otherwise), so please extend a little bit of grace as I get back into the swing of things. As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @/beating-a-dead-plot

Part 1 || Prev | Next

Series Masterlist

As Wolffe approached the room, he could hear Cara laughing and Comet talking in a funny voice. He shook his head at their silliness, but the smile that crept onto his face probably looked just as silly. He loved hearing Cara laugh, even though he was never good at causing it. His wife was the one who did the tickling and the funny voices at bedtime that made her laugh until her sides hurt, not him. He just liked to watch and listen, however, hearing it now only made the hole in his heart grow bigger. It was another reminder of what he lost. Perhaps out of selfishness, Wolffe opened the door to interrupt the raucous laughter.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Cara yelled as she jumped off the bed and ran toward the door.

Wolffe smiled and bent over to hoist her up onto his hip and then gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, baby. Did you have fun with Comet today?"

Cara nodded her head, eyes bright and crinkled with a wide grin. "Mhm. We went all over the place and, and we saw the tree!"

"Yeah?" Wolffe said, feigning a little surprise. "What'd you think? Was it like you imagined?"

Cara hummed. "It was smaller than I thought. Comet said there are planets with bigger trees."

"He's right," Wolffe said. "I've seen trees as big as buildings."

"Really?" Her eyes went wide with wonder.

"Yup. Some so high, you can't even see the tops."

"I want to see those!"

Wolffe chuckled. "Maybe someday."

"Why not now?" Cara whined.

Wolffe sighed and set Cara back down on the ground. "Because, I said so."

What was he supposed to say? Because he was fighting in a war and she wasn't allowed to come along? Or that she could get hurt or even die? His wife always told him there was no point in trying to reason with a child's logic because they'll always have another question buried among a thousand other questions, and a firm 'because I said so' was enough to get the job done. The other thing she taught him was to change the subject.

"Remember when you asked if you could come out with me this morning?" Wolffe asked.

Cara nodded.

"Want to come out with me tomorrow morning?"

Cara nodded with enthusiasm.

"Good," Wolffe said. "We're going to meet someone, so I want you on your best behavior."

"Who?" Cara asked.

Wolffe hesitated as he thought of what to say. "A… a new friend of daddy's. She'll be staying with us for a while."

Comet side-eyed Wolffe at the comment, but Wolffe glared back with a silent warning. Comet knew they were shipping out the next evening, and the wheels in his head were already turning about who this new friend could be. However, Comet also knew that Wolffe would kill him if he dared to mention their deployment to Cara before he did, so he kept his mouth shut, even though it ate him up on the inside.

"Will I like her?" Cara asked.

"I think so," Wolffe said. In truth, he had no information about the woman. He didn't know what her name was, what she looked like, who she was affiliated with, or what she was capable of, but he didn't have a choice at this point. It was either the mystery nanny or the mystery Jedi, and he'd rather take a chance on the mystery woman who Fox most likely already checked out. "She's a nanny."

"What's a nanny?" Cara asked.

"They help take care of children," Wolffe explained. The light huff that came from Comet did not go unnoticed and Wolffe turned his head to glare at the trooper with a sterner warning. This was hard enough as it was and he didn't need Comet breathing down his neck about how wrong it was to lie to his child. Without a single word, Comet rose from the bed and walked out of the room, visually perturbed and practically snarling out of Cara's view. Wolffe would deal with him later, but for now he still needed to convince Cara. "She's going to help me take care of you, like Mommy did."

Cara blinked, her face scrunching in thought. "Oh."

There was an awkward silence in the room and Wolffe didn't know how to fill it. He couldn't go into much more detail, or she might catch on that he was leaving, and now he didn't have Comet as back-up if he screwed up. She was a smart kid, after all, and was getting smarter every day.

"Will she be my new mommy?" Cara asked.

The innocent question punched Wolffe in the gut. The breath was sucked out of him to the point where he thought his lungs would never reinflate as images of his wife flashed across his mind, and in that split second, it felt like she died all over again. He knelt in front of Cara and shook his head. "No, baby. Mommy can't be replaced, ever." His voice quivered with emotions that he thought he was better at hiding. "Do you understand me? You're not getting a new mommy."

Cara frowned, eyes watering, but not a single tear fell. "Okay."

Wolffe took a deep breath to settle himself and then pulled Cara in for a hug. Another twisted tug-of-war was being fought between his mind and his heart. He desperately wanted to get away from everything that reminded him of his wife, including Cara, but he also desperately wanted to hold every last piece of her that he had left, which was Cara. It made him feel sick to want both at the same time, knowing that he could only have one at a time and both at the cost of the other.

"We're gonna be okay," Wolffe whispered, more for himself than for Cara. "I promise."

Cara tightened her embrace against Wolffe with little hands that used to be so tiny they couldn't even wrap around his finger. He'd give anything to have those cycles back, and he'd do it all differently. He wouldn't let his wife give birth alone, or miss birthdays and anniversaries, or miss Cara's growth markers or the doctor appointments. If he could go back, he would desert and start a new life somewhere far, far away from the GAR's reach, where he could take care of his family and enjoy them longer.

But that was why clones didn't get into romantic relationships, that was why clones didn't get married, and that was why clones didn't have babies, because that kind of life was never meant for a clone. Clones were bred for one purpose, and that was to serve the GAR from life until death with loyalty and honor. Love, peace, and happiness were never part of the original equation, and the loss of his wife was just proof that the galaxy hated him and his kind. He'd never be able to go back, and he may never be able to move forward. Only time would tell.

Part 1 || Prev | Next

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

AO3

Tag List:

@nahoney22 @sunshinesdaydream @padawancat97 @coraex @lickylickylicky @homemade-clones @523rdrebel @clonemedickix @moonwrecked @stunkbiggu @cdblake1565 @ladytano420 @moonlightwarriorqueen @returnofthepineapple @clonethirstingisreal @dreamie411 @trixie2023 @cw80831 @ca77m3anna @reader6898 @kimiheartblade @dukeoftheblackstar @arc-trooper-8008 @knightprincess @kell-of-storms @skellymom @grindeeloo @totallyunidentified @ladylucksrogue @tesahuy1629 @tanaka @gjrain20-starwars @nerd-ika @imabeautifulbutterfly @tallrock35 @ivanessame @msmeredithrose @griffedeloup @salaminus @rebell-ious @nursekyra @clones-cyare @roboticsuccubus83 @totally-not-your-babe @rinwritesfics @vithe-potato @haybellewrites @unicorngirl17 @notgonnaedit

Join my taglist HERE

Tip me a tea on Ko-fi HERE

[ariathelamia]

Hellhound HRT Month 9.5, (4 month Wolf, 5.5 month Hellhound)

Warning: This story gets a bit dark at the end.

Tic Tacs and New Clothes… 

Well… This little segment is gonna be hard to remember…. but remember I must… … since I myself… actually am unable to write or record anything right now but… ngh… better recount the steps on what got me into this predicament… 

So there I was, strolling down the shopping street of Hyper City, slurping some cold soda I got from the restaurant since I really needed something to keep me cool today. Since I pretty much burned through all my favorite shirts and tops except for this one, trying to get a hang on that flaming core of mine. Speaking of! Something I noticed about the fur on my chest is that some of it started to get REALLY solid… From the looks of it, the texture it’s taking on really reminds me of what Nyarlathotep and Mars have on their heads… I believe I remember Mars calling it a “crest”, another sign that I myself am not just becoming any kinda hellhound… but an Eldritch one. Don’t think I ever heard of something like that existing, which means there’s no one I can really ask about what to expect but to be fair… when was this ever the case in my transition, ever since I did that ritual. I shrug to myself, thinking that hey, just gotta be the first one so I can teach others that might choose this down the line~ sorta like Felic- i mean Felix that helped me figure out how to work my tail. Thinking about that just made me kinda excited, and I just had to give that pill bottle in my pocket a little tab… why was I so goddamn stupid to bring it with me… 

I decided to go get some tic tacs at a kiosk, was craving sweets that day like crazy! 

Putting those in my left pocket I strolled down the street, without a care when I accidentally bumped into someone…. A woman, not much taller than I was in a blue dress, I got worried that I might have hurt her… maybe she bumped into my chest? I didn't know so I sprung up and helped her. Looks like i wasn’t the first person she bumped into today, and she decided to be kind enough to suddenly and unexpectedly pat the dirt off my pants and shirt. I was trying my best to keep her hand that was patting my shirt from accidentally touching my crest so she didn’t cut or burn herself. After she was satisfied she stood straight, dusted herself off as well and then looked me in the eyes… something about them was odd… they were kinda… glassy, oh god was she about to cry?... no it seemed different... (Of course it felt different-... that's when it must have happened-... god i was such an idiot.. AM such an idiot-... urgh… focus FOCUS!!) 

We… said our goodbyes and she left down the road smiling… I sighed, put my hand into my right pocket and pulled out the little tic tac bottle… popped two into my mouth and-... god they tasted weird…  still sweet but something about them was off… they melted quickly and i decided to just shrug it off to my taste being different now, and headed to my destination.

A friend of mine told me how, when she transitioned into a Lamia, she definitely needed some fitting clothes that also kept her warm and mobile, and found this pretty awesome place that apparently other people she knew frequented and keeps all kinds of pretty cool clothes for pretty much any kinda therian out there.  So yeah i hoped they also had something fireproof that doesn’t melt or burn away, but also got more style than that stupid blue and gray hospital shirt they gave me in bulk…

So yeah I ended up finding that place pretty quickly, the “Heart Mender Boutique”. Looked pretty neat from the outside… but something made my hair stand up for a second when I decided to enter…  By now I could already tell, something bigger hid in this place. But I just shrugged it off, popped a few more tic tacs from my dispenser I grabbed out of my right pocket.. must have been like… 10 or 12 at once… after all the first two pretty much disappeared right away. That same shiver ran through my body again and I had to stop myself from gagging… even though the taste didn't seem so bad?? damn my body was getting weird (... getting weird my ass…) …. Anyway I looked around for a second by myself, checking some of the strange designs they had, some of these shirts were HUUUUGE, others really freaking tiny… some had extra sleeves for wings or extra arms… some were a bit more loose which probably could fit some nice amount of furr in, without pressing it all against your body… pant’s with tail holes… clothes that were waterproof… there were even some labeled to be “Shapeshift resistant”... still wonder how THAT works… but i couldn’t really find the fireproof ones… if they even had any… so I had decided to look around for some customer service… Didn’t take me long to find some that seemed to know what they were doing. There was a older woman, dressed in a lavender dress and a purple overcoat, neat dark purple hairstyle and a certain skin complexion that i just couldn’t remember the name of, even if i tried, who did later introduce herself as Willow, talking to another, younger employee with messy long hair and a clothing style that was quite more my kinda thing, which i would find out is called Samara. I approached the two since I weirdly felt even the slightest bit of a connection to them in my gut, waving to the two and interrupting their talk.

As it turned out I hit the jackpot since Willow was apparently one of the owners of the store, who was quite happy to help me out. Not that the other one wasn’t giving me a few looks up and down, already checking me out to probably see what kinda clothes could fit… though now that i think back on it… she did seem a bit tense after i approached… just like willow… but i just wrote it off to having been suddenly pulled out of their conversation by a hellhound with a smoking hot top… literally. Anyway after I put out the smolder on my shirt, I got led to a section of the store I must have missed before. She showed me how some of these clothes here were worn by all kinds of species with a bit more heat to go around… elementals, dragons… and apparently we also found something that seemed to be quite a fit for me. Some neat shirts with logos of bands and places I never heard of… but seemed to be popular where Willow came from. Turns out these were apparently styles from, what i knew as the “Sonic and Shadow” franchise, which i formerly thought were simply video games… leave it to Hyper City’s connection to basically every kinda dimension to make you realize that… reality is a lot more wobbly than you thought, (and that comes from someone who’s been pulled through eldritch dimensions).  While I was picking out some clothes, with the help of Willow and Samara, having a nice chat with them about our… quite similar experiences when it came to interactions with other citizens, we were approached by a third person… A man that looked about the age of Willow, his hair was slightly graying, styled in dreadlocks with a few golden ornaments, glasses just like Willow… a large loose overcoat with simple beige pants and a black shirt. Now with all three around me I couldn't help but notice that… the feeling I had when I stepped into this building was largely coming from the presence these three gave off… I meant to mention it in our talk but… well lets just say the man who introduced himself as Dominic, apparently the husband of Willow, seemed to be quiet… intrigued by me… as in… he started to hide his real intend of “interviewing” me, with casual smalltalk and a lot of questions. He was very formal.. like.. uncomfortably so, but that's probably just a me thing since formality to me is just uninteresting behavior… I usually keep stuff close to the chest and speak my mind as thought. Anyway he asked me a bunch of stuff about my transition, how it’s going, what kinda other changes could be expected so that we could look for clothing that has those in mind… I didn't know it was just odd to me so I kept the fact I clocked them as other eldritch beings to myself for now. They were very good at hiding that fact but… I have been around mars and that stupid tentacle bitch enough to be able to kinda.. feel that connection and recognize it, even if it is as well hidden as theirs is.

Why did I hide it? … Well my record with eldritch has been 50/50 right now, and i don’t know if these are like mars who transitioned… or like Nyarlarthotep who were born this way and i didn’t wanna get more eyes like THAT on me… 

I tried to keep my answers as short and truthful as I can, while still just trying to pick out some clothes for myself. They were nice overall but that could be just a charade… maybe… urgh i hate how paranoid i have become… if only i had talked to them more openly… maybe what happened later could have been prevented… maybe they could have helped out now… 

I did end up buying a bunch of clothes to replace those i lost, taking a quick look at the “looking for part timers” poster behind the counter and putting that at the back of my head, and popped a few more tic tacs since damn, all that talking and questioning and finding out made the sugar craving pop up again. I did get a quite confused look from Samara who was packing the clothes when I did that… Asking me if that’s normal… I did raise an eyebrow myself, holding out the now almost empty pack of tic tacs to her and asking if she wanted one… she declined quite profusely and just finished packing the bag and handed it to me… maybe she’s allergic?... Are eldritch allergic to tic tacs? WILL I BE ALLERGIC TO THEM? IS THAT WHY THEY TASTED SO FUNNY?!... It’s kinda embarrassing what mental gymnastics i did there…

I grabbed one of those store cards with me and waved them goodbye, vowing to return for some more clothes once I get more money…. I hope I can still keep that vow…. 

Everything seemed perfect… I got a bunch of new clothes… met some quite nice people… had no ill run in with a pedestrian calling me slurs or a danger… and i even finished my pack of tic tacs… I had put my new clothes into my home, actually put one on ‘cause the one I was wearing had a couple burn holes by now… weird how that happened even though i had made sure to keep myself calm and happy at best… anyway i decided to do one last stroll through hyper city to end the day… best decision I made cause otherwise I’d probably be homeless after this. 

While strolling through the streets I ended up noticing that… my legs felt really bad.. like.. they hurt quite a bit so i decided to find a place to sit down… ended up walking into an old skate park i knew was around the corner.. plenty of benches and space here. I was texting my Therapist about the day, her name is Amber, it’s the one Mars frequently goes to and recommended to me. For someone who works with Erian she’s actually quite nice and really helpful! Though while texting my phone suddenly seemed to overheat… luckily i managed to send her a last message about where i’m headed for the night, just to finish off my report of the task she gave me to get those clothes and get some sense of normalcy. 

That's when things got bad… Not only did my phone overheat.. it started to melt in my hand! that's a baaaaaaad sign of overheating for me.. I quickly dropped it to keep the damage minimal and to the casing alone, can’t afford to burn through another-.. and did a check on my core. It was BLINDINGLY bright after i removed the shirt… how did i not notice that?! How did I not notice how hot I was actually getting!? I looked behind me and noticed the smoking smoldering footprints I left behind me and panicked… I NEVER got THAT hot before. I looked down, noticing not only that I pretty much burned off my pants and boots, which were  sadly not AS fire resistant as my top, but also that… I was literally melting the concrete ground beneath me. This is bad… really bad. I did here the clattering of my tic tac pac which must have just fallen through the remains of my pocket, when I noticed something that shook me to the core. In front of my very eyes, that tic tac bottle seemed to shift- INTO THE BOTTLE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HOLD MY HRT MEDS!

How was this- why !? Empty!? when- the tic tacs- oh no… no no no no no NO NO NO!!!!

With that realization… came the pain… like my body was finally allowed to register things again. At a very bad time. The heat was disastrously painful… I felt like I passed out and got jolted up by it alone multiple times before I even hit the floor… hit the floor? When was I even falling… Why couldn’t I feel my feet anymore?!

That question got answered the second I looked down… My feet had literally broken off by the ankles, as I was looking at the crumbling bits of paw formed ashes that used to be MY paws. I clutched my chest as I heard the park's sprinkler system spring to life, though the water even didn’t make it halfway to my body to give me that sweet release of cold I so desperately craved by this point. The park quickly filled up with a thick fog of smoke and steam… and I could feel myself slowly sinking into the ever melting ground beneath me.

By then I also started to lose the feeling in my hands that were clutching my chest… I looked at the slowly graying claws and fingers that broke off of my body, like the ashes of a cigarette that could no longer hold on to the rest of it. I started vomiting up thick globs of red and gold glowing liquids, whose consistency reminded me of magma… were those my organs that melted?!  Probably…

I couldn’t help but be reminded of that time I met Nyarlathotep… she warned me… how I would end up burning up into a pile of ashes… I thought she was just trying to scare me… I never thought she was actually right… 

Tears of the same kinda hot liquid started streaming down my face.. by now the only thing i could feel was heat… and pain… and fear. I didn’t want to die… I DON’T want to die… 

In my head I kept crying out for help… the only thing that kept me from crying out in my voice was that my lower jaw had already turned to ashes itself. Only pathetic noises and yelps of pain came out of that fiery half maw of mine. As my body seemed to be covered by darkness.. and brimstone. 

Something I hadn't noticed and only started to realize later, was that the smoke and steam covered up the strange material that formed out of the molten concrete and whatever my body was leaking at the time… until it formed a hard shell that must look like a black and red glowing blister on the ground.  Despite not having a heart anymore… at least none that i could feel… I could still hear a beat…  The shell itself seems to beat LIKE a heart… with every single one the glow intensifies for a second.. before dying down… The beating of this shell… this Chrysalis… ended up calming me down enough to realize that… the pain was… gone?... I… was gone… but yet I was still here… molten and broken down into what I believe to be a shining sphere of heat… is this what it thought to be my flame organ?.. 

Whatever it is.. it seemed to contain everything of me… my entire being was now condensed to this single, white and gold glowing orb… 

I don’t know what is going on… and I am beginning to more and more lose my grip on reality itself… I keep rerunning these memories in my… i wanna say head but… urgh i don't know!!

I can hear the noise of sirens outside… some people shouting orders… but they are too muffled to make out what they are saying..  I feel myself slipping away again… when will I wake up again?... Will I be able to recount what happened today?... Is it even still today?...

Will “I” even be the one waking up again? … Why can’t I help but imagine this damn grin of Nyarlathotep… telling me in her obnoxious voice how she was right…?

Why is it that I somehow WANT to see her again…? 

Damn… here comes the darkness again-... so… calming… so…

...

----------------------------------------

Edit: FORGOT TO MENTION!! Samara, Willow and Dominic, as well as the Heart Mender Boutique were created by the wonderful @home-sweet-hive and star in his ??? HRT series!! Go check it out!!

Also the Nyarlathotep mentioned in this story appears in @dawning-mars Eldritch HRT! Definitely check it out, it's amazing!! It even has me in it now X3 - Nia

Start | Previous | Next (Coming Soon?)