#po pawat

[athousandbyeol]

keep up the thamepo [episode 8]

this episode easily became my favourite episode after episode 1. the flavours are beautifully mixed and I love how everything ties together into a wonderful and coherent dish.

i was fearful of the possibility of them dragging the jun-thame-po drama until the end of the episode, but I'm glad they resolved it at such a right pace and gave us more time to witness another step taken by thame and po—the progress of their relationship is beautiful and captivating. it makes me giddy and happy and shy and rooting for them even more.

i don't have much to say about the past few episodes because they're quite direct and easy to digest (in my opinion). however, I'm keen on talking about jun's side of the story and the physical intimacy between thame and po (finally!)

p.s. i do apologise for not writing this weekly thamepo post for episodes 6 and 7 for reasons I've stated previously. but without further ado, let's begin!

1. jun's unrequited love — his sacrifice for the friendship that means more than the world to him

for weeks, i've been asking myself, "what's up with jun?"

his actions confused me because the series!jun was doing things that were different from novel!jun. for context, I read some spoilers a few weeks ago, and I learned that in the novel, jun likes thame. the air hockey scene was when he was *kind of* confessing his feelings for thame, but not directly and openly. i don't know how novel!jun treats novel!po, therefore I can't really make a deduction if he's also falling for po. but in terms of the series!jun, I believe he did like po.

let's be serious. he wouldn't be here if he didn't have feelings for po. i don't think anyone can convince me (at this point) that he didn't like po romantically.

he knew thame was busy dealing with khun pemika at the company (and other stuff pertaining to MARS), so he took another step to be there for po when thame couldn't—he didn't want po to feel left out or abandoned.

it's so fascinating to me that at this point, jun believed that their feelings were one-sided; he knew po liked thame, but jun didn't believe that thame would feel the same. i think this has a lot to do with the fact that thame is more of show not tell kind of person.

jun was looking at thame and po—he was observing them. he was trying to put two and two together (and hoping that the answer wouldn't be four because if it did—he would have to back off). but the answer was indeed four and jun...

i think, at the back of jun's mind, he knew what was happening between thame and po—it was so obvious that they shared something mutual. but jun was battling his own devils. along the way, as his feelings grew for po, and all those moments spent with po—perhaps jun saw that he had a chance. he only had to be in this headspace where he believed thame didn't feel the same for po. thus, why jun was running away from thame—because jun knew, if he confronted thame (or vice versa), he would discover the truth. and I guess, he wasn't ready for that rejection.

jun was really attentive, and that wasn't a surprise. he was always watching and trying to access/understand the situation. i guess, aside from pepper, jun would be the next to see the bigger picture. he would be the one to take charge if thame and pepper couldn't.

he knew po's favourite snacks. he wanted to be there with po—for po. even though he's brash and rough, this was his way of showing that he cared—he loved.

(i think i've covered more extensively jun's character in this post for better understanding of where I'm coming from hehe)

so the confrontation began and jun said everything he wanted to say to thame.

in my opinion, jun believed that whatever thame were doing for po wasn't enough. i guess, jun put himself in po's shoes for a while here—it reminded him of how thame selflessly took all the burden of MARS and carried them on his shoulders alone. thame did those things for the sake of the group, and jun found that unbelievably selfish because they're in a group—he's supposed to be thame's best friend, someone he could trust and talk to—they should be in this together. but it was second nature for thame to take everything and leave nothing on the plate, probably because of his role as a leader.

i think jun was hoping that thame wouldn't do that alone. he didn't want thame to blame himself for everything that happened to MARS before they reunited. jun didn't like many decisions thame made, so this was why he decided to distance himself from MARS and led the other members astray from thame. it was his way of coping with problems and betrayal and disappointment: he would run because he wanted to avoid conflict—he didn't want to paint anyone as the bad guy.

so this was what he did: he avoided thame so that he didn't have to confess his own feelings for po, while he vaguely knew that po might not feel the same.

even though i know many of us (me included) were confused about jun and the reason behind his doings, this episode really cleared the air for me. he loved his friendship with thame more than anything—he loved thame a lot to put a stop to their years of friendship. people could say anything about him, but at the end of the day, jun genuinely cared about thame and po. and he chose them over his own feelings.

(i also love the back-and-forth tension between jun and thame as they confessed the things they'd been dying to say to each other. and each time they were right, the puck entered the goal. that was so effective to prove the intensity of their emotions from a literary standpoint I was actually vibrating in awe because they DID THAT so well ugh it was so delicious!!!)

but the thing that made me scream and lose my breath was thame asked jun "you like him, don't you?" and the puck entered jun's goal OH MY GOD THAT WAS PEAK CINEMA in my opinion!!!

and jun was transported back to those moments shared with po, that little time he spent with po—these feelings that were growing fonder by the second. they were fleeting, but still so beautiful. (if this isn't love then I guess... I'm blindsided by love. i don't know what love is anymore t_t)

and it broke me when jun answered, "it doesn't matter how I feel," because JUN, LOVE, YOUR FEELINGS MATTERED GOODNESS :'(

and when jun said to thame, "you don't even have feelings for him," THAME STOPPED THE PUCK FROM ENTERING HIS GOAL GOODNESS THAT WAS ANOTHER PEAK CINEMA MOMENT BECAUSE!!!!!!!

it wasn't true. he had feelings for po. he loved po. thame loved po so much.

i think, due to his inexperience, thame didn't know much about navigating his feelings for po. he didn't know what was enough and what was overdoing things. thame was always standing on this thin line between sanity and madness—he didn't know how to find the perfect balance. there was no doubt that thame liked more so intensely, but in jun's eyes (and I believe pepper too), thame wasn't doing enough. and po could oblivious sometimes so that was why jun saw this as a chance for him to make a move—to revolve with po. because love wasn't only about late-night texts and failed movie dates and long walks and heart-to-heart talks. love should be thame moving forward with po and not for po—love should be thame holding po's hand and facing the upcoming obstacle together—not just handling it alone.

jun just didn't want thame to repeat the same mistake he did with MARS. after he knew everything from po about thame's sacrifices (in episode 3), he was gutted that thame kept so much guilt and anger alone. he just wanted thame to prove (more to himself than anyone) that he was a man of his word—he would be there for MARS and po. he would love and protect them as promised.

jun and thame's friendship runs deeper than the sea and we can't pretend that we can't see the depth of their understanding and reliance on each other. these two individuals have so much love to give and receive, but the winner takes all—and in this game, thame won.

thame said that even though they'd been friends for a long time, neither of them had to back down if they really liked po. this also proved thame's selflessness and also his openness to accepting the what-ifs of po not picking him.

however, i believe, jun loves thame and this friendship more than his blossoming feelings for po—jun backed down for the sake of this friendship—for his love and respect for thame. //jun... I've wronged you in so many ways. I'm sorry that I doubted you. love, you deserve more than the entire world :'(//

jun said he didn't have feelings for po: this was his way of waving the white flag. i think jun believed it wasn't worth giving up years of friendship and watching it going down the drain just for a person—even though jun hoped it could transpire into something more meaningful if he never discovered about thame's truest feelings for po. but like I said, it was clear from the start that thame and po liked each other, and all jun wanted (and tried to avoid) was to believe he could be in thame's shoes if thame stayed in his spot—if he didn't get the clarification from thame about his feelings for po.

jun was obviously dejected and disheartened, but he masked it so well with that usual smugness. but at least, in my eyes, I knew jun genuinely liked po, and he cared about him in ways that thame was lacking before. but he believed po was better off with thame instead of him since their feelings were already equal.

and i have an inkling that thame—to an extent—knew that jun was lying. i think thame knew jun liked po too... and this was why episode 3!jun and episode 3!thame were so important to be understood because their friendship is so genuine and strong and nothing could ever break this bond except the both of them. thame was aware of the sacrifices jun did and vice versa. this wouldn't affect their friendship—this wouldn't make them crumble. they loved each other too much to let it happen (although they'll never say this aloud).

jun turned from a thame's potential competitor to thamepo's unofficial cupid. no one's doing it like jun. he's the OG definition of 'best friend' in my opinion: a pain in the ass, but would stand up for others no matter what.

and the way he was looking at po here... it felt like a goodbye to his feelings for po :( but I hope they'll continue being this bickering duo and frenemies because jun really helped po see his potential and po gave jun warmth and comfort like never before :(

also, shoutout to nut for being the perfect jun! you're an amazing actor! the emotional rollercoaster you strapped me into while watching your shenanigans and heart eyes for po gave me chest pains (tbvh). but friend, I love you. i hope you'll find happiness *coughs* dylan *coughs* ;)

it drives me insane that jun and po were finally meeting somewhere with a brighter setting and lighting—probably hinting that both of their feelings are no longer in the dark. no one was hiding from the truth anymore.

this was when jun got the last confirmation that po liked thame—and this was where po knew that thame liked him too. this ended on a bittersweet note for jun, but an epiphany for po. //my heart hurts for unknown reasons...//

2. physical intimacy — another step forward, a moment of clarity

sometimes, i think, thamepo took the slow burn too seriously because what do you mean in episode 8 we finally got them properly holding hands??? (but i love it so much T_T)

but the whole sequence of thame and po talking, trying to squeeze out the 'i like you' from each other but didn't get to because that felt too heavy on their shoulders for now. so they settled with conversations filled with metaphors and symbols and I'm always down for that ;)

i think this was the first time that they were this physically close. my heart was in my throat for the remaining 13 minutes because they were so shy and this moment felt so intimate and sensual and I shouldn't be prodding but I couldn't stop gawking at them finally being this close and all over each other (metaphorically) and I didn't know where they were heading—

and thame decided to watch the movie in po's room because, like jun said—

"why you should be there in a rush? seeing him today, I guess, at most, you'll just end up staring at each other. I'm telling you, during the first six months of dating him, even holding hands is an achievement. and it will take two whole years before you two get to kiss. as for going to his room, i'd say it'll definitely take up to five years."

the way i CACKLED because jun, friend, sorry to burst your bubble, but these knuckleheads FINALLY HELD HANDS!!!!!!!!!

i wondered if i was a victorian man seeing a woman's ankle for the first time because this scene got me squeaking and screeching and hollering and screaming and giggling and blushing and losing my marbles because yes!!! finally! they were one step closer (literally and physically)! thame was really proving jun wrong because this guy was done being vanilla xD

there's really this different charge in the air after thame and po reached a moment of clarity through jun. thame was visibly more confident, and po was more open to accepting thame's advances (even though he was still nervous. i think this still has a lot to do with the emotional trauma that po has after his break-up with earn).

thame did the korean male lead move here and expect me not to scream??? the audacity.

and when thame said he wanted to do so many things (to po and with po), but watching a movie in po's room would be enough for this new beginning—THAME YOU'RE INSANE!!!

and yes, thame was buying a bottle of water and lozenges for his throat to spend the night with po (and not what we had in mind... 👀)

we know what's coming next week. and that particular scene (the second picture)... if you know, you know... //readying myself to jump off the nearest rooftop//

are we even ready for thamepo dating era? //i'm not...//

[ktyekmrf30]

hold on- wait a minute.

i was busy rewatching ep4 of thamepo for the nth time and when this scene shows up again i think they broke my brain.

so in the daylight po and jun were looking for this one specific song written by dylan in the boxes and they show us that certain shot where we see pieces of paper destroyed by a shredder

so it was literally a boxes of pieces with words on it, right?

and then after a few hours jun left po after pepper's call to help thame and we saw that rap battle was in the evening. and that's when po finally shows up at the bar with the song that he found BUT. BUT.

not only did po find it, but he PUT THE PIECES OF PAPER TOGETHER TO FIND THAT PARTICULAR SONG BECAUSE LOOK-

the paper in his hands was shreddered and taped again. you even can see where it was taped.

so po spent the whole day sitting in that dusty room with boxes to find the right pieces of paper with certain song and then glued them together and brought it to thame. and he didn't know what song it was or what the lyrics were because only dylan and thame knew (who didn't tell him about it), so po had to put the pieces of paper between each other with hope that the lyrics are matched up.

i can't believe it. po pawat, the person you are.

and every little detail and every shot in thamepo makes so much sense??? i think i'm gonna loose my mind by the end of this show

[myrandomobsessionmix]

Also I’m a Nut bias and this is not a new take but,

I think Jun is just being a gremlin for ThamePo because it’s his roundabout way of keeping the group together and sparing both Thame & Po the heartbreak,

Remember in the pilot trailer, he literally said they can’t regroup because they (idol group) have no right to date (which needs to change coz the loud fans are batshit crazy for this).

And based on the teaser for the next ep, we’ll see the first bump in ThamePo’s budding romance.

Please be more selfish and fight for this relationship, even if you’re keeping it under wraps for a bit, I’m looking especially at you Mr. Po Pawat 🥹

[trans-gokudera]

would you mind if i fell for you? (820 words) by simpingforgyu Chapters: 1/? Fandom: เธม-โป้ Heart That Skips a Beat | Thame-Po: Heart That Skips a Beat (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jun/Po Pawat Nuenganan Characters: Po Pawat Nuenganan, Jun (Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat), Thame Thima Kanjanakitkul, Pepper (Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat), Nano (Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat), Dylan (Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, canon compliant up to the first half of ep 6, past thamepo, junpo endgame, Hurt/Comfort, It hurts before it gets better, no thame or thamepo slander in this household, i just NEED junpo, bear with me on this i am going in with zero plan, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, no beta we die like my respect for mick, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

“This might be selfish,” Thame admits, “but can you give me time?” A small part of Po knows that dragging it out will only hurt more, but an overwhelmingly large part of him feels happy for the first time since Earn’s left, and he doesn’t want to let go of their little moments: of late night phone calls and endlessly walking each other back and forth from the bus stop to his apartment and all the ways Thame has already woven himself into Po’s life. So his answer is simple.

“Of course,” and the hopeful look on Thame’s face is more than enough proof that all of this is worth it.

Or, a canon divergence that leads Po to Jun instead.

[tobeornottotc]

BL Tag: Get to know me

I was tagged by @sunsetknowsaboutyou  and @gunsatthaphan thank you very much I love tags and I enjoyed struggling with these. The nostalgia though!! 🥰

1. your all time favorite bl and why 

 Like I don't have it's such a hard question to answer I can't give you one and it would take essays to explain why I love these shows so here we go really fast some 

TharnType: Still misunderstood till this day but the depth and the subtext of this show incredible? Plus the chemistry as always breathtaking at times. The plot twists and structure of the narrative excellent

FighterTutor (Why R U), same as TharnType, deep, layered, but fun and so so good for chemistry I go through the feels with these two it's an addiction

Untamed: No words masterpiece for writing, for characterisation, for love, for everything I have nothing else to say about this show that's not already been said it would take essays

Word of Honor: Same as Untamed but the script writer is incredible, it has  incredible actors and just so much so much love, excitement, narrative, plot twists, it just makes me happy

Theory of Love: No list would be complete without this show for me, about self discovery, love, characterisation, and an ode to love of media and films it's just so great. Plus a second lead couple that I love too

WeBestLove: Just amazing, it just is. Its incredible. Go watch it, go see the acting, understand the tears I cried for this show, the depth of the narrative, the representation? Oof it's just so amazing

2. that one bl that scarred you for life 

Make our Days count still unforgivable to this day for narrative. But I can also say The Shipper just because, and I can say effect though I tend to switch of when it comes to discussing the show. Literal panic from discussing it. Also A frozen flower korean movie that will break your heart if you understand the show

3. is there any bl that made you feel very single? 

Yes all of them but mostly FighterTutor man.... Like why? But also in front of my salad? I also adore Word of Honor, and Untamed and We Best Love but every BL if done well will make you feel so alone.... and so envious 

4. if you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be?

 There's so much I would change, the ending of MODC, the whole the shipper ending, the censorship in Advanced Bravely but not as much as the novel (I prefer the show version of the story just wanted them to be more romantic and be allowed to tell each other I love you :( that’s all we want china) etc so many things to edit and change. 

5. that one bl you detest (don’t hold back

) Um goanna ruffle some feathers but it's 2gether sorry, but also I do not like MODC either. 

6. your top five: Already answered 

7. that trashy bl that you lowkey like 

Addicted has issues so it's trash but it's a wild time

History Obsessed is like the most rushed confusing and problematic narrative but my soul loves it, and is into it

History 4 another one that my soul cherishes but like my morals were very much pushed and questioned a lot during this

Y destiny! 

8. your favorite korean bl (it’s important we know)

 Simple Night Flight and Antique all the time baby! the obsession, the pain, the excellence, the open ending? The tears. No choice between these two like masterpieces that's the truth.

9. season 2? which one? 

The shipper please a bl followup for Kimway I actually detest sequels so don't really have  any others I'd like stories in same universes as other shows like History Trapped, or Untamed etc

10. a bunch of dramas will air soon. which ones are you the most excited

It's crazy how we're half way through the year and there's been already so much amazing Bls and also some dissapointing surprises that are still better than what we normally have in the genre. It's wild to think that most of my awe worthy bls still haven't yet shown up, like we still have a year of shocking and crazy content from different countries. First of all we have KinnPorsche because why not, has everything i want in a BL but the cast omg the cast is just incredible plus with all the effort they put into it it's so exciting. We have Cutie Pie with ZEE! We have Bad Buddy still processing this till this day but with Nanon and Ohm Pawat the power? We have Baker Boys and if it isn't obvious Antique is my all time obsession and it's not even full BL, but Bakerboys just makes me so excited to see if there could be a BL alternative to Antique that's even more paced well and given time to grow. It just sounds so amazing. We have Not Me, Between Us, Love Mechanics 2, Don’t say No (LEOFIAT), BlueMing, Peach of Time and BedFriend  there's just too many to think about and then most of all we have China with Immortality and Sha Po Lang? What??? Brb just breaking down from all the excitement of Bl this year. Hopefully these stay great till their conclusions! 

11. tag them!

Anyone is free to do this but I will just tag a few 

@badprophetvx

@idio-cies

@negrowhat

@piningbisexuals

@acequinz

[athousandbyeol]

[athousandbyeol]

thame, the person i want to get to know the most...... is you.

[athousandbyeol]

i don't think you'd remember me. that's because you were different from others.

[athousandbyeol]

[athousandbyeol]

i'll try harder. thank you.

[athousandbyeol]

you aren't walking fast as baifern said. well... you're walking at this speed. if that's so, try walking at your own speed then. but... come on.

[athousandbyeol]

but you're important too.

[athousandbyeol]

[athousandbyeol]

if i like him... i'm not hurting him, right?

[athousandbyeol]

0620317745.

[athousandbyeol]

keep up the thamepo [episode 5]

i was a bit frustrated with myself initially because, after the first watch, I was left confused... and jaded... and a bit dissatisfied with this week's episode.

it has nothing to do with the acting, but I thought it felt a bit fragmented? nano's story arc didn't flow as smoothly as jun's or dylan's? i was trying to make sense of it—why it felt like there were still missing puzzle pieces in nano's portrait. but I guess, after making another observation, I guess nano was the last puzzle piece. i didn't realise it until I watched the episode again.

i wonder if this has to do with how the story is told from thame's perspective? the simplicity, somewhat straightforward nature of how everything unfolds kind of reflects thame's perception of his feelings for po? how he thought that po was just wanting 'to be friends' with him. how he didn't know he was in love with po—not until pepper provided a different approach for him to understand and come to terms with his feelings?

therefore, in this week's recap, it'll be a bit shorter than my previous posts because this episode was quite straightforward in terms of storytelling. however, I do want to address some apparent parts that itch my brain, which are, jun and thame's dynamic, the parallelism between nano and po, and also po and thame's upcoming love arc.

1. jun and thame — one who ignites the fire; one who is on fire

i think 80% of the confusion comes from me not understanding what on earth jun was doing.

in last week's post, i said that jun might be fond of po in the sense that he was concerned about him because of his closeness with thame? jun might have an idea of po and thame's emotions for each other, so this is his way of showing his concern.

however...

everything he did somehow sent me to the edge. it made me assume that he might... like... po? romantically. i mean, if I don't know jun and po the way I do now, I might assume that they have feelings for each other (or at least, jun has feelings for po).

but then again, when i watched the episode, I didn't think jun likes po romantically? it's more like jun's trying to test the connection between po and thame—or he was just testing thame all along.

but one thing that i really like about the whole 'jun answered all of thame's calls on po's phone' is how transparent thame's jealousy is to everyone, but it's still transparent to him.

it's so interesting how thame is visibly uncomfortable with the idea of jun being close to po—at least in his eyes—romantically. because I feel like thame has always tried to conceal some parts of himself from the world due to his selflessness. yet, in this week's episode, I can safely say that thame has finally shown his selfishness.

and it kind of makes my heart skip a beat because po is the reason. thame's behaviour and demeanour in this episode stem certainty in me that aside from his dreams of making everyone's wishes come true, making po happy and loved is his new dream. and it's not forced, this dream of showing and giving po the whole world—it's because he genuinely loves him. (but at this point, thame didn't realise it yet xD)

a quick shoutout to pepper for being the group's observer. he's closely monitoring the group, helping thame bridge the members together, and giving advice to thame from the perspective of an outsider—a watcher. I'm thankful that thame has pepper as the vice leader because in my opinion, pepper judges with this sense and intuition, while thame makes decisions more on his senses than feelings. so it's great that thame and pepper are the leaders of the group because they complement each other well; pepper emotionally supports thame and helps him get a better grasp of the smaller picture—thame's way of helping pepper will unfold next week, I assume (and I'm excited/nervous for it to be honest...)

but again... the jealousy thame portrays is delicious.

it's fascinating because thame's jealousy is directed solely at jun and not po.

he could still smile at po. he was excited to have a conversation with po. he was always looking out for po.

but whenever he was looking at po, there was jun.

i like that in this scene, po was really just genuinely sharing about his day (I could imagine them being exactly like this when they start dating). he was so happy to talk to thame (po's so precious I'm actually devastated T_T). but as soon as the mentioned jun... thame just... he was set aflame. and it's so satisfying to see him this way. he's finally being selfish for once.

and jun kept pushing thame's buttons, all the right ones. and he was on edge. he was jealous. he was fuming. he was confused. he was... dejected.

however, i wonder still if everything jun said to po holds an opposite meaning? was he trying to tell po that "can't you see? thame really likes you?" what are your thoughts on jun? i really want to know (because I still don't understand his intentions t_t)

thank you pepper for helping thame realise his feelings for po :(

i like the idea of thame's inexperience of never liking or having a crush on someone makes his feelings for po appear stronger, bolder and limitless. thame has so much love to give po once he accepts the buzz in his head and the heaviness in his chest as I'm in love with phi po.

i think, the moment of epiphany for thame is beautifully done. the self-acceptance, the happiness and the relief that he finally understood his fondness for po are gorgeous. (so, jun, stop teasing thame and po, will you? po is definitely thame's type and thame's definitely in love with po.)

2. nano and po — a shadow, a reflection, two hearts

i'm actually geeking out at the idea of nano and po as a shadow, a reflection and heart to the people who regard them as important in their lives.

nano is just... beautiful.

to me, nano navigates his thoughts and feelings as a member of MARS with his heart. it makes him somewhat pure and innocent. he just loves his members. he loves MARS so much.

but it's heartbreaking how he doesn't see his significance as a member of the group—as the group's core.

all these stills of nano building the tent, helping the members, etc, illustrate his importance to the group. to me, he enhances each member's charms. he brings them to the spotlight. he helps clear the mist clouding them so that people can see MARS in all of their glory.

however, i do realise that nano is struggling with self-confidence. he doesn't know if he could ever make it without MARS. he's unsure if he could ever exist just as nano and not nano of MARS. he feels like a shadow underneath the members' feet. he doesn't feel he holds any importance.

nano reflects po. nano parallels the old po.

it's a beautiful parallelism—these two broken hearts were just afraid of disappointment. of uncertainty. of grief. of incompetence. of falling apart.

but i'm so thankful that po steps up to help nano realise that he's important—he's the heart and soul of MARS. with his portrayal of honesty from past experience, I love how sincere and raw po's words are. i surely believe it's everything nano needed.

(and i absolutely love how nano and po are wearing the same shade of yellow, indicating that both of them experienced similar scenarios. i think po will be nano's favourite phi in the future. he'll emotionally lean on po the most because po understood him through and through. it's so sweet T_T)

i think it's also healing po emotionally. he has finally confronted his past emotional trauma by indirectly talking about it to nano. it must've been tough to share a part of our utmost vulnerability with someone, but I'm glad po was strong enough to make a truce with everything he experienced in the past and helped nano see just how important he's to MARS. thank you, po <3

i love that MARS finally feels complete now—they finally feel like a family again.

even if the future is uncertain, at least they have each other to lean on (I'm just going to cry in the corner when that time comes...) and nano being in the centre? that's MARS's heart and soul right there. <3

3. thame and po — one step closer, 5 cm

finally, thame and po are physically close.

episodes 1 to 4 did an amazing job of showing us how thame and po build their emotional closeness through heart-to-heart talks, helping each other out, eating sandwiches together, remembering one's phone number, etc. thame and po are already close without thame realising, without po thinking.

i'm obsessed with how thame's deepest feelings now overboil once it's constantly triggered by the idea of jun and po's ambiguous connection in his eyes. i think it's how most of us realise our first crush on someone—the intensity, and the confusion are somewhat daunting. but again, I'm glad pepper was there for thame to understand his feelings—and jun was there for po to doubt if it was ever true.

this shot is INSANE.

my heart really skipped a beat. really.

i think it's because thame initiated this touch and it was the first time that they've ever touched this intimately (at the waist—in my head it's one of the most intimate places to touch) and it was after he made a move to understand his boggling feelings for po—

(distant screaming and screeching)

the shock and happiness and yearning and intimacy is just SCRUMPTUOUS I'm honestly jumping off—

just the notion of thame finally coming to terms with his emotions—finally understanding that he likes po and he likes everything about po and it makes sense now is just gorgeous.

the happiness on thame's face... my heart is aching. i hope he'll be happy for a long time.

(AND THE HUG! THE HUG! instead of holding po's hand, thame hugged po. i like the idea that they are chest to chest, heart to heart, listening to the sync beat of their thundering hearts, realising that oh, I like phi po. ph, phi po likes me too. INSANE INSANE THAME I SWEAR THIS IS THE START OF A HAPPIER JOURNEY FOR YOU DON'T WORRY LOVE PO LOVES YOU AND YOU LOVE PO AND THAT'S ENOUGH)

but...

what will happen next week? are we finally getting pepper's (devastating) story arc? and what's up with the heartbreaking tension between po and thame? and why are we getting jun's "between phi and thame, it's impossible" next week? I'M NOT EVEN MENTALLY SANE TO TAKE IT—

*jumps off* *crying* *screaming* i don't know anymore.