#but they were different in number and style etc etc and very few of us own the footage we edit from

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[copia]

I just realised you posted a gif set a few days ago which is almost exactly the same as one I posted yesterday, like even the description is the exact same?? HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE?? Anyway, just wanted to say I didn’t mean to copy you, if you’d like me to edit or delete it, I’m willing to do so!

no omg you're all good!! just saw the post i think u mean and literally everyone with photoshop was using that clip lmao. it's very gif-able and i enjoy seeing it everywhere on the dash (i wasn't the first person to use it and i'm glad i'm not the last, papa is killing it)

the only time i'd ever have an issue with something like this is if an edit (with something more than the standard gif post) got blatantly copied or reposted. but afaik that's never happened thankfully

[thealtoduck]

Being the Son of Calliope, headcanons…

PJO x Male Reader (No romantic pairing)

Warnings: None…

Summary: You’re the son of the goddesss of epic poetry and eloquence and One of the Nine Muses…

(A/n: I know I was meant to work on other stuff but I got distracted.)

(Song is unrelated to the story but it felt Muses coded so…)

——

You were the only half-blood at camp related to one of the Muses, specifically Calliope, the Goddesss of Epic Poetry and Eloquence.

When you had gotten to camp you used to stay in Cabin 11, even though you’d been claimed, there was no cabin for you. So you ended up bunking with Travis Stoll.

But after the war with the titans and Percy’s demands to Zeus to the gods, a cabin dedicated to the Nine Muses had been built.

You being made the counsler… not that there were any other options…

The cabin was great tho, it was decorated with statues and carvings of the muses and their symbols. There were paintings hung of their famous demigods too such as Orpheus, Hyacinthus and Linus

The cabin had a big book case with novels, plays, comedies, tradgedies, poetry. A soundproof dance studio, a spundproof music room with a bunch of instruments, a sky window to study the stars.

Basically everything associated with the Muses.

——

If you had a nickel for everytime someone had tried to pick you by saying ”you were their muse” or that ”you had inspired” the poem, song or novel they wrote… you’d be richer than Hades.

You were particullarly popular amongst the Apollo cabin who seemed to think you were some kind of key to overcome creative blocks. Will Solace, their counselor, needed to keep them in check since they all seemed interested in you in one way or the other.

Athena’s and Hephaestus’s cabins were also drawn to you for your creativety.

——

You would however end up being paired with the Apollo cabin to lead the campfire sing-alongs, you usually end up with a solo song telling the dramatic story of some greek hero.

Imagine something like ”The Gosphel Truth” from ”Hercules”, with the Apollo cabin acting as you back up singers.

——

As for your powers, you were far from the strongest of demigods, but you were by no means weak.

You had a natrual talent for the arts, singing, dancing, poetry, instruments, etc…

As the son of the goddess of Eloquence you could cast minor short lasting curses on people that would effect their speaking, that could for example cause them to only speak in rhymes and limericks or make them unable to finish long sentences before drifting off.

Your swordfighting style would be noted by the other campers to be quite different, while they fought normally with their swords, Percy described your style more as a ”VERY deadly and sharp dance”.

Being related to the muses you also had an aura that could induce inspiration and creativity in someone (so maybe the Apollo cabin was on to something with their interest in you).

Though that power worked both ways as you could also curse someone with creative block.

——

Unlike most demigods, you’re mother showed up quite often to advice you whenever you had a problem… and she didn’t come alone.

Let’s say you’re in your cabin and you’re sad after having an argument with a friend.

Well… then all the 9 statues of the Muses in the cabin come to life and start singing a pop-soul number about why friendship is important and you should make up with your friend.

It’s was quite terrifying the first few times it happened but you get used to it after a while.

Being one of the Muse’s son is pretty much like being all of their son.

(A/n 2: Sorry, this is shorter than i usually write and is more so a collection of small headcanons for a Son of Calliope!Reader than a full on fic.)

[serpentface]

SPIRITS OF THE HIGHLANDS: A POST

Depiction of a dragon in regional animal-style (simplified visual motifs that impart and communicate key attributes of animals), as used in decoration or tattooing.

The term ‘spirit’ in the Hill Tribes cultural sphere is a very broad category that includes souls of the dead, supernatural entities, and some legendary creatures, but does not include gods (entities that were involved in the act of creation). The boundaries between spirits and gods can be ambiguous sometimes- a select few spirits are venerated in similar capacities to gods and/or are reckoned as similarly powerful, and some gods are instead considered spirits in certain traditions. The commonalities among all are that they are ascribed sapience and some degree of magical ability, and/or are souls of the dead.

Spirits are understood to be a material aspect of reality, mostly existing in physical bodies (though some are disembodied). The notion of a ‘spirit world’ and a ‘human world’ is usually differentiated, but not in the sense that they are physically discrete planes of existence, rather that they are separate modes of living and different parts of the same landscape- the human world exists in the villages, farmland, and well-established roads, and the spirit world exists in 'wilderness', and in places that are wholly inaccessible (the sky, mountaintops, deep underwater etc). People enter the spirit world as part of routine movements of life (herders moving up to high summer pastures are within the spirit world) but it is regarded as unfit for permanent occupation.

Spirits are loosely differentiated into the categories of granul ('wild spirits', entities that live in wilderness) and daigh (souls of dead humans and animals). An additional subset of granul are '-folk', regarded as a type of person in similar capacities to qilik being 'birdfolk' and elowey being 'dogfolk', but living specifically as magical aspects of nature.

All spirits are regarded as individuals and many are known by name (either as key folkloric figures, or with the names of local spirits discerned through the divination of witches). Their natures range from benevolent to mischievous to malevolent to deadly, with some having the capacity for all these at once. The vast majority are not venerated (only ancestors receive this treatment in full), just accepted as aspects of reality that one must know how to engage with.

Spirits are assumed to exist throughout the world in great number and variety, it is just those of the Highlands who are best known and most important to the Hill Tribes. Most people will very readily adopt other spirits (and some foreign gods) into their worldview without this being an act of religious conversion or other such cultural paradigm shift, instead simply assuming these entities to be the unfamiliar local spirits of foreign places.

---

Wildfolk: Humanlike spirits of the forests and mountains, associated with deer. These are tricky, sometimes malicious, and easily offended entities that must be dealt with respect and care. They mostly take the form of deer during the day and shapeshift into small, pale, long-bearded and wild-haired humans at night. They exist in a parallel society as deer herders, and are led by very powerful witches who can physically shapeshift into birds. The wildfolk witch Bernike is the most famous and has a prominent place as a major character in folklore, regularly interacting with gods and heroes and regarded as a (somewhat capricious) protective spirit of the Highlands.

Riverfolk: Humanlike river spirits, generally not as dangerous as wildfolk. They travel along rivers in canoes and will often rest and sunbathe along the shore, but are often very shy of people and will usually take the forms of trout to flee when spotted. They sometimes appear in folktales as seducers, or as brides/grooms (after being caught by fishermen in trout form). Said to once have had entire kingdoms to the southwest of the Highlands, but these were conquered by the Burri. (This aspect is partly a cultural memory of early Wardi tribes that lived in the lands now called Ephennos, most likely the eponymous Ephenni or a related group absorbed by them).

Seafolk: Humanlike sea spirits. The Highlands are fully landlocked (the far north of the region is fairly close to the coast of the Viper, but not enough for people to venture that far on any regular basis) and these mostly are just assumed to exist without being regularly encountered. They appear in myths in the migration and settlement cycles, described as being encountered by the ancestors of the Hill Tribes as they crossed the sea. They are described as akin to riverfolk, but more aggressive.

Dainhrudinnas: Spirits with the bodies of humans and the heads of dogs, who are excellent swimmers and are the spirits of lakes (dainhrudinnas having meaning akin to 'lake dogs', with the word for 'lake' translating dead literally as 'great river valley'). These are said to only live in far away places (usually regarded as being across the sea to the north, or somewhere vaguely 'east' or 'south' inland), but make semi frequent appearances in stories about distant lands. They may be partly rooted in cultural memories of various elowey peoples that were encountered by the pre-migratory ancestors of the Hill Tribes, and/or a loose conceptualization of the Jazait people based in secondhand knowledge. They are regarded as akin to elowey but not the same thing (in a similar capacity to wildfolk, riverfolk, and oceanfolk being akin to humans).

Kulsigranul: Minor wild spirits, mostly associated with barley. They are usually described as tiny (1 ft tall) humans who usually live alone in the wild, but convene in barley fields on nights of the full moon to engage in drunken revelry. They are also known to steal milk from the teats of cattle and horses, which is regarded as an intoxicant for them. Their presence is beneficial to the crops (though not to livestock), and cups of milk can be left out to attract them into fields. They hate being seen by humans and can cause bad luck or the withering of crops if their festivities are interrupted. On full moons, one should generally avoid entering barley fields and never follow sounds of distant music.

Virgranul: a malicious spirit with no body of its own, perpetually seeking to inhabit human flesh. It can enter the body only at moments of transition- during conception, or at the very moment of death. Virgranul possession at birth causes a person to become a witch, virganul possession at death results in the corpse wandering off and living as undead until it becomes too rotten to hold its shape (a dangerous situation for the original soul, given it is still partly attached to the body). Particularly experienced virgranul will mummify their corpse bodies to preserve them indefinitely, and some isolated places are known to be haunted by such undead.

Tírgranul: Minor malicious spirits who take pleasure in frightening those alone (especially at night) and spooking cattle. They are usually encountered as a human silhouette peering out from behind a tree or bolder, shadows darting out the corner of the eye, and the sound of footsteps that halt just after one stops moving to listen. Sudden and unexplained stampedes among cattle are attributed to their presence. It is often said that their faces are so horrifying that merely looking upon them can kill, but these spirits are very shy and will avoid directly being seen. One should never whistle at night, it attracts them.

Dulakgranul: Minor, benevolent wild spirits who live among rocks. Herders and travelers will build small cairns out of rocks along their routes, which will invite these spirits, who in turn displace less savory ones. They will grant boons to travelers who leave small gifts of food and drink at their cairns.

Dragons: legendary beasts, younger offspring of the goddess Ariakh and the King of Eagles, and associated with thunderstorms. They are massive birds with the bodies and wings of eagles, legs of pheasants, wrinkled bare faces and necks of vultures, and the heads and tails of snakes. They roost in eyries on mountaintops, and only emerge to hunt during storms. Horses and cattle are their favorite meals, but they will settle for humans given the chance. They are regarded as vain and egotistical, jealous of their bigger, older brothers (the Winds), and highly competitive amongst themselves (forming a hierarchy system in their level of venomousness). They are often defeated in folktales by manipulation of their competitiveness and vanity to turn them against one another.

As is very common worldwide, the depictions of dragons in this sphere are influenced by distant cultural memories (or culturally transmitted accounts) of giant azhdarchid pterosauroids, with mythological dragons in this world being far more ubiquitously described as a mixture of bird and reptile and almost always identified as winged, flying creatures. Eastern dragons such as these tend to have the feathered wings of birds (largely due to greater temporal space from encounters with these pterosauroids, whose last remnant populations were thousands of miles away in the far northwestern plains).

Fuldaigh: Malicious spirits of unburied/unburned (depending on tradition) dead, or those dead by suicide, who wander without rest. Fuldaigh are twisted by their suffering and aggressive and harmful towards the living. Their spirits can usually be freed by their remains being found and properly laid to rest.

Pylidaigh: Very dangerous, very malicious spirits who emerge during snowstorms, known to kill humans via a crushing hug and drink their blood to warm their own eternally cold bodies (in most traditions, they are a variant of fuldaigh, specifically ghosts of unburied dead who died in snow or of hypothermia). They exist as pale, naked humans with very long arms, which they use to wrap around and suffocate their prey in a close embrace. They are only capable of traveling over snow; doorways and windows should always be kept clear of snowfall so they cannot get close enough to reach their freakish arms into your house.

Duirdaigh: A little-understood type of spirit known to haunt the remains of ancient, overgrown burial cairns that can be found scattered throughout the Highlands. The builders of these cairns were already long gone at the time of settlement by the first Hill Tribes, and their exact nature is regarded as a great mystery. The spirits keep to their mounds and are thus generally harmless, but are regarded as ones to wholly avoid. It's said that people who walk over the cairns will often disappear, never to be seen again. This is attributed to duirdaigh, who drag them beneath the cairns to an ambiguous but certainly horrifying doom.

Ancestor spirits: This is what the honored dead become upon reaching the afterlife in the Celestial Fields, a great landscape hidden behind the stars. They will continue to watch over their descendants and can temporarily return to the land of the living as guides. Depending on tradition, they either come to land as invisible spirits, or physically manifest as birds and use this form to fly from and to the Fields. In either case, the flight and behavior of birds can be read and interpreted into messages and omens from one’s ancestors (with some care, both given that birdsign messages can be subtle, and that wildfolk witches can become birds too and use this for the sake of trickery). Ancestor spirits go through their afterlives much in the same way as the living, farming, herding, eating, drinking, sleeping, etc. Their basic physical needs are sustained by the Fields (they are fed on the milk of heavenly cattle and will never starve or thirst), but they still must labor if they want additional foods and goods, or receive them as offerings from living descendants.

While respected and generally assumed good-natured, ancestor spirits inflict punishments against lawbreakers and oathbreakers, and may also punish descendants who do not rightly honor them, or if they are merely insulted. A testy and contemptuous relative in life will likely remain so in death, and one should take care to keep them appeased. Naming and honoring one's ancestors and practicing routine offerings is the foremost form of spiritual protection, and will ultimately allow you to reach the afterlife. The veneration of and guidance from deceased ancestors is central to cultural practice, these are by far the most important spirits in day to day life (generally outstripping gods in importance as well).

Heavenly cattle: The cattle that inhabit the Celestial Fields. Traditions usually accept these as the ghosts of dead cattle, but some tales imply that they are separate entities created specifically for the afterlife (or a combination of the two, as they are known to breed). Their existence is credited to the agricultural goddess Od, who first brought them to the heavens to ensure the people remained fed in the afterlife. Ancestor spirits are sustained for perpetuity on their milk.

Queen of Spiders: a mostly benevolent entity, the first spider and mother of all other spiders. The hero Kulyos received her boon, and now her children feed on nasty biting flies and mosquitoes and trap malicious spirits in their webs, and are thus readily welcomed into the home. If you kill a spider, you should say an apology to the Queen of Spiders. Otherwise, she will punish you by not sending more spiders into your house.

King of Eagles: Created by and the husband of the storm goddess Ariakh, father of the Winds and dragons, the first eagle and chief of all birds. He is the one who brought fire to humanity, stealing it from the sun god Hraighne. He is elevated to the status of a god in some traditions (which describe him as the creator of birds, rather than simply the first), and is one of very few non-ancestor spirits to commonly receive veneration.

Animal masters: Spirits associated with each and every type of animal, being the first of each kind that was created. Most animal masters play little to no role in cultural practice and are merely acknowledged as an aspect of reality- there had to have been a first of every animal, so this is it. (This may have elements of syncretism with animistic practices ancient Wardi/Wogan tribes, accepting the notion that each kind of animal has a spirit, but not adopting additional levels of significance). Animal masters mostly appear as characters in folktales told for pure entertainment, with the biggest exceptions being the Queen of Spiders and King of Eagles listed above (having greater cultural significance). A few individual tribes place significance on additional animal masters (or interpret certain gods as also having been such), but no other animal masters have this degree of ubiquitous cultural status.

The Winds: spirits of the wind, the eldest sons of the storm goddess Ariakh and the King of Eagles. They are regarded as giant dragons, but will sometimes take the form of humans or hawks. They herd their mother's cattle in the clouds.

Mak-Urudain: A gigantic dírgrahdain dog with fiery fur and eyes like stars, who watches over the Celestial Fields as its guardian. He allows the honored dead to enter, ancestors to come and go, and prevents evil spirits or dishonored dead from passing into the Fields. He also guards the heavenly cattle that are grazed there, fiercely protecting them from mere wild spirits and powerful gods alike. The goddess Ariakh is the only one who has ever succeeded in stealing cattle from him. He is sometimes considered to be the dog animal-master, though usually just accepted as a very unique dog. Represented by the dog constellation.

[artbyjessicajewett]

Hi everyone! I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Jessica and I was a previous user of Tumblr before it was bought. I decided to come back.

Today I'm not so much a fandom person (my first account was a Supernatural and Destiel vibe) as I am living my "real" life as an artist, author, historian, and disability rights activist. I'll be 42 in February and I live on the border of Ohio and West Virginia - like, literally on the border. I can almost throw a rock and hit West Virginia from my apartment building. Living here after spending over twenty years in Georgia has been a fresh change. Georgia is not a great place for people with complex disabilities like mine. I get much better medical care and access to state services here in Ohio, which is why I came here. My ancestry is Appalachian anyway, so this does feel like home in a strange way.

My art is what I do the most. This is me doing a commission order a few years ago.

You're immediately wondering about my disability and why I do everything with the tools in my mouth. I was born with a condition called Arthrogryposis and that just simply means my joints have very little range of motion. Much of my body is stiff. So I taught myself to play with my toys, markers, etc., with my mouth rather than my hands before I could even read or go to school. It was natural for me. I live a happy life and I'm not upset about being born with this disability. You don't have to feel sorry for me because I don't feel sorry for me.

At this stage in my life, I'm working on art commission number 91 with about 50 more on my wait list. My work specializes in black and white pencil portraits, mostly of different historical periods. Most of the art people order from me has to do with my ability to interpret their previous lifetimes (yes, reincarnation) as well as introducing them to their spirit guides. I do regular art with no spiritual complex as well, like family portraits, friends portraits, pet portraits, architecture, fan art, original characters, some fantasy, witchcraft, folk magic, paranormal, historical events, etc. I'm heavily trained in realistic very detailed portraits, so if you're looking for anime or cute illustrations, I'm probably not your woman.

This is the last commission I finished.

This is an interpretation of that customer's spirit guide as they appeared before they died. This is "my style" of art, as they say. I like to do color art too but I finish black and white orders much faster.

Besides art, I'm a lifelong student of 19th century history in America focusing on women's roles, families, social issues, disability history, and LGBTQIA+ history. I was in school to specifically become an antebellum and Civil War historian before chronic illnesses forced me to drop out. Higher education 20+ years ago was a casserole of nonsense when it came to helping disabled students succeed. Don't get me started.

I'm also a lifelong paranormal researcher focusing mostly on hauntings tied to antebellum and Civil War America including old folklore. My mother and grandmother were Missouri folk magic practitioners. I was raised in an understanding of the unseen world. I also collect reincarnation cases from the Civil War period sparked by my own case from that time. I'll talk about that elsewhere if you want.

Follow me here if you like. I'm just getting started. I have to relearn how to use this app.

-Jessica

Shop: etsy.com/shop/ArtByJessicaJewett

If you're not interested in art, I also accept tips if you enjoy my content. I'm at $ArtByJessicaJewett on CashApp, at Jessica-Jones-1002 on Venmo, and PayPal.me/ArtByJessicaJewett on PayPal.

[radioroxx]

*slides you $500 in monopoly money* spare deets about the isafrin kids? i love them soooooooo much and would love love love to know even more!!!

like!! how did they get wished into existence? were they just There one day as small kids, or did they come as babies? did aurore come first and then eile? and isafrin!!! they look different!!?!!?! love love love love postcanon designs and would love to hear your thoughts on them (and! their bonding earrings??)

I WROTE THIS OUT AND REALIZED HOW STUPID LONG IT IS SO. ITS GOING UNDER A CUT. WOWZERS

Ok first- WISH BABIES!!!

uh. uhm. uh

ahah. oops!!

though we did get to discussing a few options after getting this ask (more like. i. asked them. and they provided. im not the thinker in this group. hehe!)

(@chromatasia )

for context on this one- i believe a while ago we also talked about wishing involving sacrificing? the idea of givinf up a piece of yourself (sometimes physically, like hair) to help power a wish! or link yourself to it?

a second option (three whole screenshots…)

(@unregisteredskybox )

carve your own baby!! yay!

general idea for our fankids though is that yes, they were created super young. and as babies. so aurore wouldve been crafted a few years before eilé :)

so yea ur two options <3 pick i guess lol. i dont have a solid idea there.

the second half of your questions- yes!! isafrin! theyre older and different!! wahoo!

the older isafrin designs were moreso. i wanted to have a little fun and made them. lawl. but now i get an excuse to share anyway :) so here!!

numbered the details to make it a lil easier. also dont mind these r quick scribbles,,

1- general outfits and stuff. siffrins i wanted to keep mostly similar to how i usually draw them. sleeveless top, horrible and unnecessary amount of belts,, knowing that hes maybe not as eager to change as some others might be. they are comfortable in their style and thats what matters. for isabeau i wanted to keep a familiar vibe, but still change it up. i think he would still wear clothes that are flowy-er etc etc, buuut yeayeayea. not an outfits guy really so jfkf theyre pretty simple.

2- themb!! they look different! siffrins hair is longer obv obv, and no lightless dye anymore. they tie it back usually, but he still likes it long. also some facial hair. important to me. (you may also notice lack of eyepatch,, personal hc that siffrin gets more comfortable without it after making up with bonnie some more. that he maybe depending on it a lot because he thought it would make them uncomfortable, which theyyy dont have to worry about. anymore! so less eyepatch. sometimes still though). isa on the other hand looks mooostly the same! except. ofc. bigger beard. you guys should know i love my beards by now. lawl. other than that mostly the same,, physical pain in me trying to think of a different hairstyle for him… maybe in the future but for now he gets This.

3- new cloak-thing for sif! his regular cloak is probably much more well suited for the travelling lifestyle, much less the domestic stay-at-home lifestyle, soo they changed it up! (and totally not an excuse for isabeau to try out craft stitching nooo definitely not as practice for the future whaat who said that.) they will still wear the old cloak occasionally, buuut not as often as they used to.

4- finally! bonding earrings!!! yes! the designs themselves are pretty simple. squares and change symbols for the design sif made for isa, and a star with bits that go ding-ding that isa made for sif. more importantly, siffrin carved the earrings himself! it is. hard. to do that. a design that is so small. there were many failed attempts and scraped ideas but they got it done! and isa loves them very much. for isas design, the main star part is glass, and the dangling bits are carved gems (picture isabeau, panicking because this is siffrin hes making these for so it needs to be perfect. and he gets odile to help him, because despite all the teasing she is ofc very fond, and helps him out with that aspect of the design.)

ok thats all - bye bye bye

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

It was a documentary, not a series, that's why we were not satisfied because we wanted fiction, not a docuseries.

This only solidifies my POV, which I have already gone over on the Under The Table Podcast and in many previous entries on my blog, about the whole problem with S3 being in the WR. Coming from a very solid S2 and amazing S1 award season, only made matters worse, of course.

Viewers appreciate realism, as a matter of fact the kind of audience The Bear appeals to is the kinda public that digs realism and adult content, with lots of cussing, raw directorial style, fast-paced, etc. We are not the typical rom-com or even drama series audience. The Bear became a hit show back in 2022 because its eps were fast-paced, with a dramedy quality that made it original, lots of adult language, and with a hint of sexual tension that was "promising" if explored in future seasons, that at that point were not confirmed yet. S2 was ordered in July 2022 in the middle of the momentum the show was starting to get, and shot from February to April 2023, then it premiered in June 2023, only to compete now, in this award season that opened a few weeks ago at the 76th Primetime Emmy Awards.

Meaning: the reason why S3 didn't work as expected, and the numbers back that up that is why they haven't released them yet, is because the writers were not able to write a BALANCED plot. Yes, it hit all the realistic marks in terms of mental health struggles and fine dining 7th circle of hell, but at the same time, it lost every other "ingredient" that it used to have. THERE IS A WAY to write the best of both worlds, and I certainly expected that coming from who I considered the best script writer out there, the sadist. And his right hand wired for romance, Miss Calo. They didn't do it. They disappointed me. They went all in with the docuseries' raw realism style of Carmy hitting rock bottom, which if you were really paying attention in S2 was nothing but PREDICTABLE → as I proved even before S3 premiered here and here but they didn't build towards a cliffhanger that left you wanting more, actually, 03X10 is altogether hard to watch, there's no balance like in FISHES 02x06, for instance, just one punch after the other, all below the belt, no comedy, no breather, just tragedy and more tragedy and more sense of doom and more PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! THAT'S IT, END THIS, PULL THE PLUG, STOP IT! etc... Like I said: No balance.

Storer only focused on Carmy's background story, but didn't give us anything we couldn't have figured out on our own anyway, he didn't explore Syd's background story, which should be a collection of gems and absolutely Sydcarmy friendly because the more we know about her, the better we will be able to figure out how will Sydcarmy happen and when (I already know when, but still) and he also focused on Tina's background story, IMO that was completely unnecessary as T is not a central character, what he showed there was also easy to guess anyway and could have been summarised in a couple of scenes, not an entire bottled episode, not when other characters are UNEXPLORED after 3 seasons. So basically, all the decisions made in terms of SCRIPT were WRONG. The acting was perfect, the direction was too, the soundtrack, the cinematography, all of it, but the foundation wasn't there because in the WR the creative decisions made for S3 were completely fucked up, we were served a docuseries as opposed to the fictional show with a realism bouquet we were watching the previous 2 seasons.

WE WANT TO WATCH FICTION, write it realistically, sure! BUT DON'T LOSE WHAT YOU HAVE SO FAR, DON'T MUTATE INTO A DOCUMENTARY OF ALL THAT'S WRONG IN THE MENTAL HEALTH DEPARTMENT OR IN SOCIETY OR IN THE CULINARY INDUSTRY, we already know that and if we don't, we can always tune in the motherfucking news, not FX, and certainly not Disney+. Thank you very much.

[doyouknowthischaracter]

Do you think the polls are inherently biased, because the well-known characters will be shared more wheras the unknown characters might never even reach their bubble where they are actually known by a lot of people?

Short answer is no.

Long answer is: well, if we want to be pedantic, an argument could be made that no method of collecting data via surveys, even self-administered surveys, is completely free of bias because that's just human nature and all you can do is minimize it by wording questions neutrally, trimming outliers, etc etc. With that out of the way, one very important thing to note here is that this isn't an opinion survey. The question being asked is very straightforward and the answer is not something that can be swayed or influenced by peer pressure, propaganda, unwillingness to disclose private information, or any other factors, be they internal or external. You either know a character or you don't. I mean, people could certainly lie, in either direction, but 1) why would you do that?? it's not even like we have winners or losers here, and 2) there's nothing I can do about it anyway.

Now, when it comes to sampling bias (which, from what I understand, is what you're actually asking about) my answer is still no, I don't think that's accurate. Popular characters will reach more people and get more votes overall precisely because they're more popular. If this were a tournament style blog or if I were asking your opinion on the character in question, then yes, I could definitely see how more well-known characters would be at an unfair advantage (or how tagging the polls with the character's name is encouraging that bias, as it's been suggested before), but this is not that! Well-known characters reaching their bubbles faster/more efficiently than obscure characters is an inherent part of being more popular. Everything is working as intended.

All that being said, there are a few factors which I think could influence results somewhat unfairly, but I wouldn't necessarily call them bias. They're more like limitations of the medium.

Firstly, the time and day of the week when a poll is published. I don't have access to this kind of data right now, but off the top of my head, I'd say Sundays around 10pm is when Tumblr users are most active. That, coupled with the fact that most users are from the United States, means that polls that come out of the queue on US Sundays during that time window have a chance to reach more people than all the others. However, this potential problem is organically circumvented by people going back to see previously posted polls, finding polls through reblogs or from tag searches, etc. So it's not really a significant difference. I haven't noticed the numbers reflecting this yet either, but in theory that's how social media works, so I thought it was worth pointing out.

Secondly, polls that were posted early on when the blog had fewer followers reached less people, on average, than polls being posted at the moment or that will be posted in the future. No argument there, that's just a fact. But, again, this is a limitation of the medium. Potentially, I could repost older polls at some point in the future and reassess characters' popularity, but how do I choose which ones? All of them? Wouldn't we just get stuck in a loop of reposting the same characters over and over then? That'd be no fun. So I don't really think there's anything to be done here, unfortunately.

Thirdly, meme-able characters will be see better engagement and consequently higher numbers of votes. Point in case, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Once again, not something that can be helped, not really. I do my best to maintain uniformity in how I format the polls and which pictures I choose (as high quality as I can find, cropped adequately, consistent size, etc.). But some characters will just have better chances of being shared around by virtue of featuring in memes or having some recognizable line or something like that.

To sum it up, overall I don't think there's an inherent bias in how the polls work at the moment. I do think there are certain factors that could marginally influence voting numbers, but not the votes themselves. (Which is why I've decided to compile two separate lists, by number of votes and by percentage-- they measure slightly different things, but that's a post for another day.) As long as every follower of this blog is delivered every poll to their dash and everyone pinky promises not to lie and screw up my numbers on purpose, then I'd say we're golden.

This is probably more than you asked for lol, but hopefully it all makes sense. And as always, feel free to share your opinion. I'm always happy to hear it!

[nuri148]

Distances in AoT

Or: Yams has no idea of geography and the relationship between distance and travel times in AOT makes no sense.

After a long time in the works, I present to you this 3-part, long af essay about the above statement. Grab your copy of Aot and your calculator and buckle up!

Disclaimer: I’m not a numbers girl. I always struggled with math at school and cannot determine how much each party needs to chip in for a group outing without an excel spreadsheet. And yet the numbers in AoT are so out of proportion that even with my limited math talent I realised what a train wreck they were.

PART ONE: SCALE

The manga, and later the anime, inform us that there are 250 km from the center of the walls to Wall Sina; 130 km from wall Sina to Wall Rose; and 100 km from Wall Rose to Wall Maria.

For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to ignore a few facts that should be painfully obvious in a real-life setting:

1) The walls could never be perfectly circular. Because...

2) Terrain, even in super duper flat places like the Argentine Pampas or the Netherlands1, is never completely flat and never completely uniform. So, even in the Great Plains, the 230 km (equivalent to the distance from Ehrmich to Shiganshina) between Wichita and Oklahoma City, as the crow flies, become 238 km when made in a car – or 256 km on a bike (since bikes can’t take the highway). Likewise, the rougher the terrain, the higher the difference. Salzburg and Linz, in Austria, are merely 100 km away in a straight line, but the shortest route is 124 km.

And bear in mind this distances are on modern roads in modern countries, built with technology that allow us to circumvent geographical accidents such as rivers, canyons or mountains with cool bridges and tunnels. The world in which AoT is set doesn’t have those. If a river is down a canyon, first they’ll need to zig-zag down the canyon, then cross the river (via bridge or ferry at best, fording it at worst), then zig-zag all the way up again. This happens still today, even in our modern whitebread world, in places where the traffic doesn’t justify building a big-ass bridge over the canyon. When I lived in Germany, it was like that to go to the next town.

But, as I said, for the sake of simplicity, I’m going to pretend the walls are perfectly round, the terrain is perfectly flat, and that there is a straigh-ass road, as straight as Argentina’s 22 National Road between Río Colorado and Choele Choel, between each of the Wall Districts. For simplicity reasons too, I won’t be using decimals or taking the thickness of the walls into consideration.

I’m also going to assume (though this is pretty much confirmed by canon), that the only passage between walls is through the Districts.

You’ve likely seen the basic layout plenty of times over the internet.

Well, Let’s start by saying I have a huge problem with this layout. If you bother to separate walls S-R-M to scale with their informed size, the sizes used to depict the Districts are always wildly out of all proportion².

From the several panoramic views of Sigansina, Trost, etc. that are shown in the manga³, and considering the usual sizes of German-style 17th-19th century houses, which is what’s shown from down in the streets (and I’m familiar with from my time living there), the districts seem to be, at the very most, 5 km from the main wall to the district outer wall⁴, with a bridge over the river every 500 m or so. (The walls are usually visible whenever they are in the districts, so you know it’s a small area.) Yet as you’ve seen, most maps show the districts ridiculously large, going to even half the distance between walls. This not only contradicts canon, but defeats the in-canon purpose of building a concentrated, out-jutting urban area to concentrate possible titan attacks there and eliminate the threat more easily.

So in my map, I’ve adjusted the size of the districts to roughly 5 × 5 km. They look almost like dots. That’s another problem of the disproportionate maps that populate the web: it makes you lose sense of just how big the walls are.

Districts of Paradis: Mitras (center); to the East: Stohess, Karanes, Holst (from AotBTF); To the West: Yarkell, Krolva, Quinta (from AotHMOTC); to the South: Ehrmich, Trost, Shiganshina; To the North: Orvud, Utopia, [unknown].

Now, geometry is a wonderful thing. If you know the radius of a circumference, you can calculate all other possible measurements in that circumference. And in this day and age, with computers, you don’t even need to learn formulas or crunch numbers. Yay Math.

So, if radius Mt-S (Mitras-Sina) is 250 km, and wall Rose is 130 km further, and wall Maria 100 km further still, the radius Mt-R is 380 km and the radius Mt-M is 480 km.

The Districts are lined up with the cardinal points. Therefore, to go from a district on the N-S axis (e.g. Ehrmich) to the corresponding one on the W-E axis (e.g. Stohess), you have basically three options:

Route 1) Take roads we know nothing about. The most likely, logical option in a realistic scenario, unfortunately un-checkable. Also slower than the following two hipothetical routes.

Route 2) Ride atop or along the wall. For numbers, I’m assuming a flat wall top. Because we know the radius of the walls, we can calculate the arc length between any two districts (blue in map).

Route 3) Use an imaginary, straigh-ass road between two adjacent districts on a given wall (e.g. Ehrmich-Stohess, Trost-Krolva). Again, because we know the radius of the walls, and the angle of separation of the districts (90°) we can calculate the length of this chord line (brown in map). Note that this solution doesn’t work for districts in Wall Maria, as the resulting chord would intersect wall Rose, and there is no passage there (red in map).

So, how long are these distances? EXTREMELY.

The Arc distance (riding along the wall) between adjacent wall districts is:

Wall Sina (e.g. Ermich-Stohess): 393 km (more or less equivalent to a straight line from Mar del Plata to Buenos Aires).

Wall Rose (e.g. Trost-Karanes): 597 km (Paris-Montpellier).

Wall Maria (e.g. Shiganshina to Quinta): a whooping 754 km (San Diego-Sacramento)

The Chord line distance (straight line between two adjacent wall districts) is shorter, but not by that much (about 10 % less):

Wall Sina: 352 km (Mar del Plata-La Plata)

Wall Rose: 537 km (Paris-Orange)

Wall Maria: 679 km in theory (San Diego-San José) but, as explained, the chord line between Wall Maria districts is interrupted by Wall Rose, so that route is out. The shortest alternative would be to ride in a very slight curve approximating Rose; I couldn’t find a suitable calculator to let my mathematically challenged self get the exact number but I reckon it’s around 700-720 km (San Diego-San Francisco).

The takeout from this is that distances in AoT are HUGE.

Moreover: We know the island of Paradis is based on the island of Madagascar. The diameter of Wall Maria is 960 km (480 × 2), but the island of Madagascar has a maximum width of roughly 590 km.

So we have two scenarios here:

1) The world of AoT happens in a very big planet

2) Yams (and his editors) suck at maths and spacial awareness big time.

Guess which one I’m betting on.

Part 2 Part 3

Notes:

¹ Having grown up in Argentina and living in Europe, but also mindful that many reading this are from the US, I’ve mixed cities from all those locations as real-life examples.

² There is one and one map only, in chapter 5 of the manga, that depicts the walls more or less realistically, but it also shows the geography within the walls as pretty non-flat, non uniform, no straight-roads, so I’m being very generous with my calculations here, borderline delulu.

 ³ I was going to illustrate this with a few shots of the districts, but as I started gathering said shots from the manga I found myself opening yet another can of worms, for the differences in size of a given city between chapters are enough to merit their own post I’m afraid. Not that I can commit to one atm.

⁴ Though, realistically, European medieval walled towns were no larger than 1 km across. Nördlingen, in which Shiganshina is inspired, as well as Rothenburg o.d. Tauber and other partially preserved walled towns are 500 m in diameter.

[pawborough]

Howdy everyone!

Happy Valentine's day folks! We have the long awaited contest results in this update, as well as some small updates to fauna, and a new system for accessories.

Contest Winner

We previously held a sweepstakes to win a Design An Accessory Tier (1st place) and Monarch Tier (2nd place) and we can now announce the winners!

(We want to apologize for the low quality of the video; we wanted to crop out the advertisements on the website we used)

Over 580 people entered! 

Congratulations to our winners Emma and Erika!

Thank you to everyone who entered!

Fauna Updates

As previously seen with the Featherbeau, Kintsune, and Javasqueak, we have been updating all the fauna art to match the new style overhaul.

Here is a comparison to the old artwork.

Toshi has very minimal changes. There are some minor color and shadow touch-ups, but as this was our most in-style original fauna, very little change was necessary.

Here is the new and old art.

Like the Featherbeau and Kintsune, the Phantowl has a full overhaul. With a more dynamic pose and better detail, we hope to invoke spookiness in the new design.

The new and old designs are below.

Accessories + Dye system 

Speaking of designing accessories, we've finally begun production on our accessories! Here is a preview of what we are working on, showing illustrations of the original Gilded Helm and Iridescent Trail!

Our focus is on adapting challenging items. For example, the Helm, and similar helmet items, provide unique challenges when on fluffy breeds. 

Here are a few previews of our solutions so far:

And here is a preview of our first backer-sponsored design!

Lastly, we’re very excited to announce a system we've been workshopping. 

Accessory dyes! 

PawBorough is built by the players, and it is in our interest as players to have as much quality customizability as possible. We want expansive options! All the recolors!

Accessory dyes will allow users to craft any accessory on the site into a different color. 

The system we are designing incorporates “standard” and “special” dyes. 

Standard dyes are a set number of colors which will be compatible with all accessories, meaning all accessory items get a blanket number of recolors. 

“Special” dyes will only be compatible with certain items, and will include alternative colorings such as rainbow, pastel colors, gradients, patterns, etc! 

The benefit of such a system means all items will get a set number of varieties, and it lets us expand upon certain pieces to include alternative or unique colorings. But it doesn’t commit us to an undoable recolor demand. 

We’re still working out the kinks and pain points, such as easy to see information on what takes a special dye and what doesn’t, but we hope this will prevent item bloat, give users more creative control, and overall improve the gameplay! 

Site Themes 

We’ve started workshopping the Borough themes with our completed assets. Take a look at these previews! 

Zenith 

Luna

Pawprints

Next let’s look at a cute feature we have on the backburner. 

Ever imagine your cat has polydactyly? While we can’t break lineart, we do have a fun new feature for rare cat collectors. Every cat will have their very own paw print on their profile, with a very very small chance of having a sixth toe!

There are 55 unique pawprints!

Have fun trying for cats with silly paws ~

Stonehide texture

We’ve upgraded our asset technology! The rainbow sheen seen here on the scales of the Stonehide was a breakthrough in our coloring limitations. This texture will be applied to mystic breeds in the future and bring further quality to our assets!

Great stuff! 

On the backend, we've not done many notable new things this month, but we're continuing through as we prepare for a dedicated alpha. Longhairs were stuck with file processing complications, but we're working them out and working in tandem!

Speaking of alpha, we're looking at opening free applications for alpha and transitioning from solely an internal to a semi-external volunteer test. More information on this as we grow closer. 

To Summarize: We showed updated Beta, Toshi, Phantowl and accessory assets, the dying system, two new site themes, a cute pawprint feature, and a new texture for mystic breeds.

What to expect next month: Further accessory assets, potential alpha update, and asset and software updates.

Note for Tumblr users: Something went wrong on our end, and while this update got posted to Kickstarter, it somehow did not got posted to Tumblr. We have re-uploaded it now for proper record keeping. Our sincerest apologies.

[markerofthemidnight]

Body Horror and Transformation Writing Prompt List For All You Freaks-But-Not-Sexual-Freaks

As a certified body horror fan, I wholeheartedly believe that there’s a horrific lack of body horror/transformation-but-not-in-a-kinky-way fics on AO3, so I made this to set things straight.

We got all kinds of possibilities: body horror for all you horrible freaks out there, and simple non-painful or disgusting transformations for all you significantly less freaky weirdos out there!

You can choose which to write by yourself if you’d like or maybe just use a random number generator.

Reblogs are much appreciated, and inspired fics even more! (I can’t promise that I’ll know anything about whatever fandom you decide to write for obviously but I’ll likely give it a shot as long as it was made using this list (and isn’t smut))

Body Horror Prompts

Wingfic (The good, old-fashioned, non-kinky transformation fic tag.)

Gothic (Werewolf, vampire, etc… you get the drill.)

Animal (Another good old-fashioned classic.)

Cyborg/Robot (Not as fleshy as the others but it is body horror still.)

Fantasy (This one’s pretty good because “fantasy” is actually just a really big umbrella term for absolutely anything as long as it’s not an animal that exists. “Fantasy” ain’t just dragons and unicorns.)

Alien/Eldritch Anatomy (Let’s say your character got abducted by aliens while they were asleep last night and they’ve come out all fucked up. Like that.)

Mutilated by a crazy person Human Centipede-style (Of course, though, this could result in a number of things. Please don’t make me read your own retelling of Human Centipede.)

Really fucked disease (This is fun because if it’s contagious it means potentially more than one character could be affected.

Mutilated by power (You know that one scene from Akira? Yeah, that. A character gets exposed to more weird magic than their body can handle and it starts to change them. Like how the Fantastic Four got their powers, depending on the adaptation.)

Transformation into species from one of your other fandoms (PLEASE someone make it Pokemon, the body horror potential there is impeccable)

Angelic/Demonic transformation (Which one is up to you… or maybe just flip a coin.)

AMOGUS (or something similar like changelings or such. Excuse me, I just left this here because I was out of ideas.)

Body Horror extra flavour spices for you to add if bored:

Mass Transformation (The same except whatever the prompt is happens to more characters than just one or two.)

Partial Transformation (They transform except not much.)

Slow Transformation (In case you feel like writing something a bit longer.)

Voluntary (Voluntary body horror sounds like something really fun, honestly.)

Involuntary but temporary (Like a werewolf, y’know?)

Roll more than once (Self-explanatory.)

Roll again on the opposite table

Transformation (aka the same thing but with no body horror) Prompts

Animal (like the above but instantaneous/oblivious/painless.)

Body Swap (Very fun, especially when different species are added to the mix.)

Gender Swap (If you’d like an idea of a nice twist to add to this, I’d suggest swapping sexual preference as well as gender. Straight men are still straight as women, and gay men are now lesbians. Very fun if only a select few characters have been affected.)

Ghost (May lean into body horror slightly depending on the method of death. Speaking of which, I’m a big fan of when ghosts get unique appearances/powers depending on the method of death, so maybe you could add that to spice it up?)

Trapped in a computer/other kind of machine (I think I read a creepypasta about this once. It was really fun.)

Reincarnated as a Different Species (That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime, So I’m A Spider So What?… I think there was this one anime where the main character got reincarnated as a vending machine. That’s how versatile this prompt is.)

Isekai into Another Fandom (Overlaps with the above heavily, but more specific.)

Video Game Logic World (You know the Jumanji sequels? That.)

Emergency Transformation (Like the TvTrope: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EmergencyTransformation)

Karmic Transformation (Like the TvTrope: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KarmicTransformation)

Two+ Characters, One Body (I REALLY love this trope because that baby can fit so many shenanigans in depending on how it’s taken.)

Empathic Transformation (This wasn’t worded really well but basically what if a character is transformed into what they see themselves as/transformed by another character into what the transformer sees them as. This could also cross over into body horror depending on how you take it.)

Transformation Extra Flavour Spices For If You’re Bored:

Mass Transformation (self-explanatory)

Voluntary

Involuntary but temporary (Again, like a werewolf)

Partial Transformation (Of course, this only works with about half of the listed prompts but it’s still good.)

Pokemon (PLEASE. OKAY I KNOW THAT’S SPECIFIC BUT POKEMON TRANSFORMATION FICS ARE ALWAYS A RIDE. IT CAN OVERLAP WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT: “GHOST” BEING PHANTUMP. “TRAPPED IN A COMPUTER” BEING PORYGON/ROTOM. I’D LOVE TO READ A FIC LIKE THIS. AND. AND. IF YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN WRITING A FULL-ON POKEMON STORY, JUST PUT IT IN ONE OF YOUR OTHER FANDOMS. LIKE, POKEMON AREN’T THINGS THAT EXIST THERE, NOT EVEN IN FICTION, SO EVERYONE’S WEIRDED THE FUCK OUT.)

Roll more than once (Self-explanatory.)

Roll again on the opposite table

And that’s all! I’ll try my best to read anything you guys may make with this list (that’s not smut, kinky or a retelling of Human Centipede) so go out and spread the word! (oh god people are definitely going to accuse this of being my fetish aren’t they)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i showed up to someone's house unannounced to get closure?

cw: brief s/a mention, kidnapping, stalking but not in detail 

ok, so I (30F) had a years long very close friendship with A (30F) when we were in school. close to us graduating high school, she met K (M, 31) and they started dating. K gave me weird vibes (he made r*** jokes and was kind of a fuckboy) but she liked him so it was whatever.  Fast forward to us graduating high school. I leave the state for a several months and an injury brings me back. A and I are still friends and I find out she broke up with K. She also tells me that when they were dating he s/a'd her while she was drunk (but she "didn't mind/it wasn't r*** cuz she "couldn't feel it and he was gentle"), kidnapped her from a party to "take care of her while she was drunk", and stalked her house. I was very upset and immediately hated this guy. But I also noticed that for some reason she was trying very hard to get him back (ie dressing up like one of his favorite youtubers (who had a very distinct and gimmicky style), dying her hair, just generally being...different). I have to leave the state again. 

I find out later that A and K are dating a year later. I'm infuriated and tell her I don't like him, that the thought of him makes me physically ill (I had undiagnosed anxiety at the time), and how can she date him when he did all those things to her. she tells me that he got therapy and that he's really nice to her now and that she's happy. she also tells me that her mom kicked her out of the house because they were dating (mom didn't like her either). Anyway, I tell A that I love her and that I still want to see her when I visit home / talk to her / etc but the stipulation is that K can't be there because I will probably be physically nauseated the whole time. she tells me i need to respect her dating decisions, but that she'll keep him out of our interactions.

a few years later (we're still talking on an off, but not a ton), i am about to leave the country. i contact her again and apologize for not respecting her decisions and that i was only reacting to the things she told me about him. she says it's okay. fast forward i leave the country, have to reset my phone, and in the process lose her number. i try to contact her a few times via facebook but she doesn't answer me. several months go by, nothing. i get the "read by" message though, so i know she's on facebook. i also find out that she and K had a "picturesque" fairytale theme wedding and i can only look at one picture before getting sick to my stomach again. i decide to cut my losses and let the friendship be over. 

here's where the stupid thing starts. since we stopped talking, i've had at least 10 dreams a year about her. i've gotten therapy (not for this situation specifically but i've talked about it in therapy), written/torn up a symbolic "letter" to her, blocked her on all my socials, made good friends, gotten married to a loving spouse (who is my best friend!), have a job i love, and am pretty happy now. and really don't think of A anymore. but for some reason, the dreams persist and make me very frustrated. they're always about us rekindling our friendship or me apologizing to her about things. i've tried ignoring the dreams, accept that they're just my subconscious processing things, accept that the subconscious is just being fuckin weird, etc. i've basically moved on from this whole situation except for these god damn dreams. 

now here's where i might be the asshole. i looked her up online because the dreams were driving me crazy. it doesn't have her cell number but it does have a new address that might belong to her. i'm going to my home state next month. i haven't talked to her since 2017. aita if i showed up to her house unannounced to verify with my own eyes that she's okay and happy and maybe get closure? if that's even what i need? is there a better way to stop having these dreams?  

please tag as "dragonfly" so i can find the post later. thank you in advance to anyone with advice. 

What are these acronyms?

[rontra]

How does failteacher Yuri interact with the greater plot of persona 5? I remember Toriumi mentioning 'some weird shit in 2010', but do the two of them have to deal with stuff like Kamoshida's change of heart and the principal's death?

the current policy is that unless something directly and immediately relevant comes up the answer is "it doesn't"

for 2 reasons. number one is that i don't feel like binding myself to the month-by-month timeline of p5-the-game in too much detail, because i'm lazy, and making my AU up as i go (lol). and the second reason is that observing the plot from a completely uninitiated unrelated POV is just not very interesting to me....... orz

one important thing about my failteacher AU is that it's a casual n sloppy style(!!) project that i do this way because it's fun (and as soon as i stop having fun i will stop making it). the vibe of creating it is just as important as the vibe of reading it. my worry is that committing too hard to ~The P5 Plot Is Happening Among Us~ would have me too distracted by logistics and timeline puzzles that aren't even relevant to the story i'm trying to tell, and suck the fun out of the project for me...

due to the year difference btween the 2 games, the plot of P3 did happen in 2009-2010 (the "weird shit" comment was in a doodle but yes it did happen and parts of it will be Main Comic Material later when relevant) (and i think its obvious enough from comics like #3 and general characterization that the Hermit 1-10 arc took place) (BUT MODIFIED IN VERY IMPORTANT PLACES. LOL) but obviously toriumi was an uninitiated & unrelated POV to that game so she doesn't really know that much about it outside of the parts that directly impacted her (which to be fair. are pretty serious)

p5 is much scarier because its looming on the horizon in FRONT of us and i hate being confined by a tangentially-related-at-best timeline. directly dealing with stuff like the fallout of palace 1 is a MAYBE? but ONLY because there are tangible Relevant consequences for -us- (more scrutiny placed on shujin teachers -> ms chouno gets on kawakami's ass, etc)

im gonna be real withyou i didnt even remember the principal dies. MDHNBFGB sorry to this man

all in all its just like. 99% of the plot of p5 is stuff these people are not privy to (kawakami's % is removed due to her no longer being joker's confidant thanks to hermit meddling) + committing to that timeline too hard would be abrasive to the comic + im much more versed in p3 minutiae anyway (especially later on in the p5 year). so its kind of like. well. just try not to Expect anything too major xD

if smthg catches my interest and i can work with it to make an interesting development, sure. but in the end its like why would i risk binding myself to specific points of a timeline and incurring Untold Rammys when i could simply not do that to myself. you know 😭

HOWEVER. FOR UNRELATED REASONS THAT ARE IMPORTANT BUT MAY OR MAY NOT PAY DIVIDENDS LATER (<- what did he mean by this?) it is seeming INCREASINGLY LIKELY that we might in fact currently be in the autumn -before- p5, meaning joker enrolls come spring in a few months and the game starts then.

^this paragraph directly contradicts everything above it but its fine. i have my reasons. just don't hold me to it TOO closely. i don't want to commit to a timeline just to be boxed in by unforeseen consequences later. but if you were curious there is a quiet notion in the background that says the plot of p5 proper hasn't started yet.

it's a "soft fuzzy timeline" but that's Secretly where we're at in it . kawakami bitching about her awful new student come April <3

So Perhaps Time Will Tell. if they're still doing this shit come May maybe i get to blow kamoshida up or whatever

[dangermousie]

Pusher post for Ja Myung Go (2009) - best period kdrama you've never heard of

It got zero votes on my poll probably because nobody has watched it, and it must be remedied.

In 2009, during the ratings reign of legendary Queen Seon Deok, another woman-centric period drama made its debut - Ja Myung Go starring Jung Ryo Won, Jung Kyung Ho, and Park Min Young back before she was a leading lady. Unlike QSD which became a huge success and extended its run, JMG had abysmal ratings throughout and ended up being only 39 episodes (a large number in abstract but a cut from the originally planned 50). Ja Myung Go took a traditional narrative - the forbidden and doomed love of Prince Hodong and Princess La Hee, heirs to enemy kingdoms, and disassembled it supposing what the story would have been like if Hodong had been in love with La Hee's sister Ja Myung instead.

Even though JMG is one of my favorites, its single-digit ratings (back when single digit ratings were baaaaad!) were no surprise - it took most period drama conventions of the time and even now and upended them. Proper royalty-based sageuks at the time after all centered around the progress and triumph of its protagonist - he or she may pay a great personal price but will triumph over rival factions/own shortcomings/bad background and emerge politically victorious - a great ruler to be remembered by future generations. JMG's rival Queen Seon Deok expemplifies that kind of narrative - Deokman is an outcast who, at the end, has lost the man she loved, but is a great ruler to be remembered forever and full of achievements. Yi San, Kingdom of the Winds, Jumong, etc - all follow this formula more or less. This is still the case when they make them nowadays, sadly rarer than they used to - GK War comes to mind. (Fusion-style sageuks which usually deal with 'common' people sometimes choose hopelessness as a theme - see Damo - but they have a different narrative thrust and vibe and we are not even getting into fluffiness of youth sageuks. People of JMG are miles away from that.)

But this is not the story of JMG. From the first episode it is clear that there will be no triumphant narrative. This is a story of the defeated - defeated Kingdom of Nakrang, defeated people. And, except for Ja Myung herself (cast in a traditionally heroic mold even if with enough flaws to make her interesting), her mother (a very minor character) and a few other other characters, most of the characters are not heroic either. They are either fascinating monsters (Muhyul, Wang Jashi (Ja Myung's stepmother), Muhyul's Queen) or people damaged beyond repair by their surroundings (Hodong, La Hee).

(Man is known as God of Battles, and not for no reason)

And even though I like Ja Myung, I confess that for me the drama is made by the clever, fascinating, monstrous Wang Jashi and Muhyul. Wang Jashi is a Korean Lady Macbeth - she is someone who is capable of poisoning her brother in order to protect her husband and her own power, but she is also someone who genuinely grieves over him. She is a wicked woman, but she is strong and irresistable. Muhyul (or King Daemushin, if we go by his throne name) is a counterpart for her (he rules a different kingdom, but I confess throughout the drama, I kept wondering what it would be like if they were married - they would rule the world). He is a capable, fierce ruler who has traded his humanity for success and rule - you see any remaining feelings leach out of him slowly during the course of the drama.

And so much of the drama is shaped by those two irresistible monsters - all the younger characters except Ja Myung are trapped and shaped and deformed by them. Princess La Hee, Wang Jashi's daughter, is not capable of truly functionally expressing her feelings - even though she likes Hodong, throughout their early meetings, she lashes at him over and over because brought up the way she was, she has no idea how express herself. And Hodong, Muhyul's son, is even worse off - at least La Hee had her saintly stepmother to love her growing up. Hodong has had his poisonous stepmother who desires his death (yet another amazing character - she is a horrible person but you understand and even sympathize with her) and Muhyul as a father (there is a scene later on where Muhyul gives an order that if Nakrang does not fall, Hodong is to be executed. Father of the year he is not).

In a way, that is why if it wasn't for his seduction-to-victory plan, Hodong would have never gotten together with La Hee even if Ja Myung did not exist - they are both emotional cripples and Hodong, at least, is smart enough to recognize that. I think that is a huge part of his attraction to Ja Myung - she is a breath of sane air (significantly she has been brought up outside palace environment). When I think of Hodong, it's the same emotion I get when I think of Jang Jae Min from Bali - he is twisted and deeply flawed but the wonder and the tragedy of it is that for his family he is not flawed and twisted enough. One of the last things Ja Myung tells him is that in their next life she wishes she would be his mother. I remember people thinking WTF but it made perfect sense to me - the thing Hodong lacked most and needed most was a loving parent - it is something he never got. (And of course it's also a show of love towards her sister - this way La Hee can have Hodong as a lover).

And this brings me to gender dynamics. Except for Muhyul, all the true movers and shakers in the story, every catalyst is a woman. Nowhere it is as evident as with Ja Myung and Hodong. I remember reading that Jung Kyung Ho was cast as Hodong and being genuinely puzzled. He has since gone on to be one of my favorite leading men and certainly terrifying and violent and feral enough in Cruel City to play the scariest warlord of them all if necessary but that wasn't the case at the time. I thought of him as the spoiled little brother to the angsty vengeance seeker of Sorry I Love You, or as a smart little brother to the amnesiac mob assassin in Time Between Dog and Wolf. Or, more likely, in his big break-out role as the male lead of Smile You. The thing is, in all of these, even Smile You, he is the quintessential nice guy (or as the term is in certain circles, "beta male.") He was about the last person I'd normally envision as a male lead in a period drama about war. But once I saw the drama, it all made sense and not because he was bringing his later Cruel City persona.

Because despite his undoubted ability to fight in battle, Ja Myung and Hodong are all about gender reversal - at one point she even becomes his bodyguard! If you think about it, they take gender roles usually reserved for the opposite gender - she is the proactive one, who sets the story in motion, the rebel leader. He is the one who conquered Nakrang through seduction of La Hee, something seen as a typically female method. His seducing La Hee into destroying the protective drum is a far cry from Jumong fighting through hordes single-handed or Dam Duk in The Legend taking on an army with a small unit armed with nothing but grit or even the Prince in Haechi or King in GK War outwitting his court enemies with balls and brains. And, as a typically female method, his way of victory gets him nothing but scorn - in the first episode, his stepmother calls him a whore to his face. It's the same with the relationship - Ja Myung can let go of him, but he cannot let go of her.

The women are uniformly fascinating and complex in this - even someone like La Hee does not just give in to Hodong's false sweet words - she genuinely believes surrender would save her country. The drama's respect for its female characters is summed up in a single scene - one of the characters is a widow of Wang Jashi's brother (the one she poisoned). Her 10-year-old brother-in-law marries her to save her from execution. 10 years later, they are still married and when she is doing the proper thing and helping him bathe, you see her experience and suppress her desire - because her husband is now a gorgeous gorgeous man. It could be a ludicrous situation - she changed the guy's diapers and she is not what you'd consider traditionally good-looking. But instead drama treats her feeling with respect and understanding. I loved it for that.

Oh, and I am just gonna leave this little father-son convo here:

Hodong: Your Majesty, what did you tell me before? You said if only you gain Nakrang without any blood being spilt, you would bestow leniency on them. Take pity on them. The other way there will be no end to rebellion and we will all die. Daemushin: Your own grandfather, King Yuri, killed his own two sons. I was young and I could not understand that. How could he? How can a father kill his own child. Unless he was crazy, how could he kill his sons? I finally understand him today. For a King, a son with other intentions is nothing but a political enemy. A political enemy that must be killed and gotten rid of. Hodong: Do you wish to kill me? Daemushin: [throws down a puppet of a woman] You must know who this wench is. Who is she? Hodong: It is Emperor Choi Ri's unknown daughter, Princess Ja Myung. Daemushin: Find her and kill her. Hodong: Father, I cannot do that! I...I...that woman... Daemushin: When you chop off the head of that woman Jae Myung, I will make you the Crown Prince. If your father is King Daemushin, who has expanded his kingdom, then you must survive and show all other nations how to rule that kingdom. Hodong: Your subject Hodong accepts Your Highness' command.

Parent of the Year indeed!

PS If you've watched enough sageuks, you will recognize that wily old monster Daemushin is actually the protag of The Kingdom of the Winds where he looked like this:

(I did a pusher post for TKotW before so won't repeat.) The funny thing is much as I adored the ML of TKotW, I can totally see him progress into that monster here. It would be logical.

Anyway, digression over, go watch JMG!

[spacevixenmusic]

Unfairly Maligned Games, Vol. 1

Games I loved that got low scores, review bombed, or have some other weird negative stigma attached to them that I think is unfairly earned.

NOTE: I don't believe in giving games a number score or a letter grade. Maybe I'm just bad at criticism or very easy to please, whatever.

Battleborn [2016]

One of my personal favorite games of all time, Battleborn was advertised as a hero-based PVP shooter with MOBA mechanics that unfortunately came out right alongside one of the biggest games of the PVP shooter genre ever released (Overwatch). Thanks to this poor timing, Battleborn - along with several other similar but different games - was doomed to failure, choked to death by Blizzard's infinite marketing resources and predatory Free Play Weekends that just mysteriously happened to occur on the same weekends as its "competitors" major updates, DLC releases, promo events, etc. Battleborn is no longer available to play ANYWHERE as of January 2021; so few people played it after it was review bombed as "the game your mom bought you when you asked for Ovewatch for xmas" (yes Blizz fans used that fucking Simpsons meme TO DEATH, it's their one joke they have about Battleborn) that the game's servers had to be shuttered so the money could be funneled into Gearbox's much bigger cash cow release at the time, Borderlands 3.

Sour grapes aside, Battleborn was in many ways the game that many people actually wish Overwatch was now. In addition to the PVP game, Battleborn had a co-op campaign mode - complete with a story, cutscenes, and unique character dialogue depending on who you brought to each mission - which could be played for character XP (ability tree unlocks), random gear loot (for use in either campaign mode or PVP), and character cosmetics. The 30 playable characters were wildly varied in terms of design and gameplay, and yes I have to point it out every time, Battleborn had both "cute tiny animal in a mech suit" and playable black women BEFORE Overwatch did. The game also featured a very impressive and highly slept-on visual aesthetic that felt like every Saturday Morning Cartoon I ever grew up with from the 80s/90s, featuring a wild blend of 3D and 2D animation that all the other hero PVP games WISH they could have matched.

And damn, dude. If you like Lore in your video games, there was a TON of material written for this one. And I'm not just talking about supplemental media like a comic or a wiki or an interview about cut content or whatever. I mean there was a metric FUCK TON of additional world-building material right there in the game. Each character came with a set of challenges you could complete which would give you the usual XP and money, but also unlocked a fun little tidbit of Lore about the universe. These came in the form of short stories, recorded conversations, email logs, forum posts, shipping manifests, and even fully voiced segments explaining details about each character, who they were, why they were fighting this war, and some fun little ways of explaining how their weapons or abilities worked. For example, Reyna holds her laser pistol on its side, gangster-style, because she wanted to use a very specific gun model, had its internal parts stripped out so she could use an ammo clip of a much stronger caliber than that model was supposed to be capable of, but in order for the chamber to reload correctly, the gun had to sit a bit cockeyed. And that fun little nugget is just sitting there, right in the game, for you to discover! It's fucking cool as hell!

Now I know you're itching to make a joke about there only being like 15 people who even played the game. Yes, I've seen the Active Player Steam charts meme. It's true, Battleborn had a very small, but also very dedicated, community. Despite that, there were so few people playing that we all ended up making friends with each other pretty quickly. It was one of the friendliest PVP communities I'd ever been a part of. We knew there weren't many people online, so we created an environment that felt comfortable for players new and veteran alike. Many of us are still friends today, outside of the game. Because there were so few people online, we also got to play regularly with Gearbox devs and game writers, and even one of the voice actors responsible for at least three of the game's characters (plus a few NPCs!). We organized and hosted our own events, got official backing from the devs for Double XP weekends, held art jams and hashtag celebrations. Hell, I even used my love of this game to jumpstart my serious foray into music by making an entire album of songs for its characters (complete with a bunch of commissioned fan art from the community)!

(art by Leaddybum)

So yeah. Rest in peace, Battleborn. You were ahead of your time and the hate and harassment you got from The Gamers was completely undeserved. I will always keep hope alive that you'll come back to us some day. Maybe as a sequel, maybe in a new format. There was so much more left to explore in that universe.

May our battle never end.

[twoset-updates]

[100623 hong kong vip meet and greet audio recording + transcription]

link to recording: https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV19h4y1G7zp/

transcription of Q&A section below:

notes:

transcription/translation has been done to the best of ability; some parts were unclear due to noise, slurred speech, etc. 

note that as there is no video, there may be missing context from facial expressions or gestures.

any participants’ names mentioned are not written here as we do not know how their names are spelt.

those asking questions are referred to as Q[number].

approximate time stamps have been provided at intervals.

minimally edited for clarity. (they say “um” way too often.)

00:19

Staff: So we’ll first start off with a Q&A session, and afterwards it’ll be a signing, of course, there’s... so I’ll give the floor to Brett and Eddy. Thanks.

Brett: Thank you, thank you. [away from the mic] Can you guys hear me? [into the mic] Do I need this? This is better?

Eddy: Hi. Oooh.

B: Okay, we can use the mic.

E: I wanna see if there’s autotune. [sings offkey]

B: That’s a A?

E: [sings note] That’s an A. [sings again] Anyone with perfect pitch? No? No? Okay. Oh, in the front, nice. [sings again] That’s an A, right?

B: That’s an A?

E: Just checking, nice, nice.

B: [sings note]

E: Sounded a little bit sharp.

B: [sings the same note in a lower octave]

E: That’s sharp.

B: That’s not an A. [sings again in a higher octave]

E: That’s an A, but it’s sharp.

B: A-sharp.

E: No, it’s not A-sharp.

B: Okay, I’ll stop embarrassing ourselves.

01:14

B: Well, everyone, thanks so much for coming. This, we’ve actually been in Hong Kong for a few days now, right?

E: Yeah.

B: Um, it’s been like, five days? Six days? Can’t remember. It’s been a– This whole week has been a blur, because we’ve been preparing for our very first concert—tomorrow—of the tour. And it’s actually a special one ‘cause it’s with the HKFO orchestra, right? And so there’s a lot of moving parts, and this week, I don’t know, Eddy, what has been your favourite part of food in Hong Kong, so far?

E: I don’t know, I think Hong Kong just has some of the best, you guys have some of the best food in the world.

B: I have to agree, like—

E: And it’s not just like, Hong Kong food, it’s like, all different cuisines. Like yesterday we had a buffet, and it was just like...

B: Everything was there.

E: All the different styles, I’m like...

B: We even had pizza. And it was pretty good.

E: Yeah, and we even had like chicken rice, and like, [quietly] to be honest, I think it was better than Singapore, but... [normal volume] Can I say that? [laughs] Yeah, so I think the food here’s been great. The weather’s nice, actually. I know people think it’s really hot, but, y’know, Australia and Singapore also get pretty hot, as well, so... We’re used to it, I think. Yeah. 

02:33

E: Um, so yeah, it’s been really crazy, and we’re really– we really want to– I can’t wait to show you guys the show, but we– we think we should keep most of it a secret. I am just curious though: okay, raise of hands, who here plays an instrument? [pause] Nice. Okay. Can I– I’m curious, who– Keep your hands up if you have done, like, a music exam before, like ABRSM. [pause] Nice.

Brett: [laughs]

E: I think you guys will enjoy tomorrow’s show, then, ‘cause it’s– we wanted to– it was inspired off, like, we want to make it kind of relatable to what it’s like being a music student growing up, but... Yeah, I don’t know if there’s anything you want to say before we go to Q&A.

B: [mic malfunctioning] Does anyone– [inaudible] Hello? Hello? [mic works again] Hello? I think I can– [quietly] I think I accidentally turned it off. [normal volume] Anyway.

03:33

B: Did anyone go to our last show?

Fans: No.

E: Oh, wow.

B: Well, no one– no one came back. [fans laugh] Well, this might be your first and last one, too! [laughs]

E: Oh, no.

B: No... Okay, no, it’ll be fun. We can’t say too much, but Eddy kind of hinted at what it might be like, so I think I’m super excited. It’s also like, when it’s the first show, it’s– we never really know what’s gonna happen, too. So it’s kinda just, we’re gonna get thrown into the stage, just see just (a) pit of people, and we’re gonna just go from there, see what happens.

E: Yeah. Um, I mean... Yeah, ‘cause it’s like, we try to come up with a script, and a storyline, right? And we put in, like, jokes that we think, or we hope, are gonna be funny. But again, like you guys will be the first ones to hear this. So I’m really hoping there’s not gonna be like, dead silence, just like, no one laughs at your joke—ugh, just die on the inside, right? Nah, I think it’ll be fine.

04:38

E: Should we open up for some Q&A?

B: Yeah.

E: I’d love to chat with anyone that has some questions. Okay, lady there in white first?

Q1: Actually I have two questions. Number one is, your YouTube channel has been established since 2014, and that time you came in that your dream is to bring classical music to more people, and continue to inspire the next generation. Now, I think your dream is come true, right? So, then, what’s your next career path? What will you do, say, after twenty years? Still the YouTuber? Or do a few, some music school to educate the young– [inaudible, fans cheering] Ling Ling School.

B: I don’t know, I think Eddy wants to become a TikToker next. [laughs] Just kidding.

E: I’m too old for that, man. [laughs]

B: That’s a really good question. I don’t know how to answer that. I think...

E: I think if anything, you should show them your, uh, Arigatou dance, that you’ve been practicing.

[fans cheer]

B: [laughs] Let’s not preempt anything for tomorrow.

E: [laughs]

Fan: We can sing it for you!

B: [laughing] Oh, no no no.

Q1: [inaudible] Professor in Hong Kong.

06:06

B: Oh, professor in Hong Kong. Okay, look, I think for– [sighs] it’s tricky, because if you asked us ten years ago, what we would do, and say, ‘Look, we’re gonna make YouTube videos, or do these skits online, or tour over the world,’ we wouldn’t have believed anyone, right? We wouldn’t know. And one thing is for sure, is we never really know what would happen in ten years. We can only kind of guess where we’re going, kind of like, which direction we’re going. 

And we’re r– Actually we’ve– First of all, we’re really fortunate to have people watch our content, and then doubly fortunate to have people also inspired to pick up an instrument. Like we’ve seen that countless of times, wherever we go. I don’t know how it happened; I think, maybe we’re just someone there that... I mean, when we were growing up, we were basically watching violinists like Oistrakh online—like, black and white. That’s all we had on YouTube. And I remember my lap—like my violin’d be on my lap, I was watching, (and I’d) like play (the violin), trying to copy the violinist. But there wasn’t actually any YouTubers, like, in those times.

07:10

But in the future, I think educators is also definitely something we wanna do. Definitely always trying to—what’d that say?—make the pie bigger, or something. Like, so more and more people can come into classical music. And I think, I feel like, it’s not just us, it involves a lot of– more people as well. So, more– I mean, the last three years, there’s been a lot more classical music content creators. Which is a good thing. We’re bringing into more awareness that classical music is something that is just generally good for us, yeah—all the practice we do. And it has– I think it has good value, since practicing, you know, hard work, discipline—these are the things that we learn being a classical musician. Um, yeah, hope that answered your question. Um, [laughs] I just–

07:52

Q1: And the second question is, so, will you have the pressure from like, negative comment? Especially when you have, sometimes, [unclear]. How do you handle the haters and release your tension?

B: Wait, I just heard, what did I– is it back pain? Or–

Fans: [laugh]

B: Oh, Blackpink! I heard back pain!

E: Yeah, my back’s a bit sore, like– [inaudible, fans laughing]

B: I legit heard back pain.

E: [laughs]

Q1: So, how do you handle the haters, and like, let it out?

E: [groans] I mean, do you wanna answer that one?

B: I mean, I get back pain.

Fans: [laugh]

E: Like I think... Let me quickly ask Paganini. Because it wasn’t us, so it’s Paganini that had all the haters. So now, I’ll quickly call Paganini. 

Yo man, Paganini, how’d you handle the haters? [pretending to be Paganini] I just flex on them with my Paganini 24 Caprices! [inaudible, fans cheering]

08:56

Um, I don’t know, I think... I remember very clearly that day that we posted the video. And the first one or two hours were just, like y’know, Twoset subscribers, fans, watching it. They were like, “Oh, this is so clever, this is funny,” right? And then I remember at the time, we posted around our, like, midnight. So I was like, “This is kinda too calm. It’s like the calm before the storm.” I was like, “I’ll try to go to sleep,” but I couldn’t sleep that night, I was just like, “I feel like something’s gonna go off.” But eventually, y’know, after lying in bed for one or two hours, I fell asleep. Then I remember [laughing] when we woke up—

B: [laughs]

E:—it’s like, all my phone notifications (going), “DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!” I was like, “Oh my god.” And then so I remember reading through (the notifications/comments). And, to be honest, it’s like we kind of– I mean, we know how the internet works, and we expected the possibility that this would happen. So when it did happen it was like, “Okay, fair enough.”

10:00

I think, the– I did think one thing that caught me off guard at the time was, I was shocked at how much they went not just at us. ‘Cause I knew they were gonna come for us and say things about [inaudible]. But I was shocked that they came for everyone we knew. So I remember at the time, we met, like, James Ehnes—that soloist—the week before. And they were like, threatening him. They were sending– and he– I remember he, like, messaged us, and he’s like, “Who’s Blackpink?” ‘Cause he had no idea, and we were like, “[groans] Okay.” So we had to explain all that. And I remember the time they were trying to cancel our Mendelssohn with the Singapore Symphony, and so that was a little bit, like, shocking.

10:47

Um, but I think, I don’t know ‘bout you, but for me, it’s like... it was like– Okay, so first of all, when all the hate started coming in, I remember thinking, first of all, a lot of it was, like, kind of not very... intelligent comments, right? It was just like, vomit emojis, and poo emojis. I’m like, “Okay, I haven’t really read anything that’s legitimate,” you know, so I’m like, “Okay, that’s okay.” But then, I remember, like, it was really interesting to see, during that time, my– our close friends really stood up for us. So I think that was really... thankful. I mean, ‘cause you still feel it, right? You know it’s gonna happen, you know it doesn’t make sense, but you still kinda feel like, “Whoa, what is–” There are these people telling us to, like, literally do all these bad things and stuff, right? So I think it was cool, just how, like, our friends supported us, and be like, “Oh, just don’t listen to them.”

11:46

And then, obviously, I remember there was, like, after six hours, then a bunch of positive– you know, a lot of Twosetters came to support and defend us again. And that really helped, seeing people, like, stand up for us. I think it was really funny too, like then– it became like a fan war, as well. Like, BTS ARMY people were standing up for us, and I was like– I don’t know, it became like a battle between them, and I was like, “I have no idea what’s going on, this, like, K-Pop thing,” but um, yeah.

12:17

I think, going back to your question, how do we handle the hate? I guess... yeah, like, it just helped having friends and knowing that– and having, like, fans support us. I think that was the most important thing. I think if everyone was telling us what we did was bad, then I’d probably actually have a existential crisis. But you know, we had friends that was like, “No, I think what you did was fine, don’t worry about fans”—like you guys, you know—“it’s okay.” And then, also just knowing– ‘Cause I think also knowing, deep down, I think what we did was, like, it wasn’t... wrong. Like, I think– I mean, come on, standing up with– The whole theme of the song is like, you have to, at a certain point, stand up for your own values, right? And so, deep down, I– we believed in what we were saying. And when we looked at the comments, no one made us change our mind, because every comment was just like, poo emoji, so I’m like, “Okay, I think we’re still in the right,” y’know, so... yeah. That’s my perspective, I don’t know about you.

13:25

B: Uh, I think I forgot everything, it’s just [inaudible, fans laughing]. No, okay. It’s the same, I– Look, “haters always gonna hate”, we all know that line. And that was definitely, like, the most we’ve ever gotten. And Eddy was right. I remember watching the video, also kind of lying in bed. I was thinking, “I should probably go to sleep, this video... took a while to work it out.” And nothing happened, I was like, “Oh wow! Eddy, I don’t think we went hard enough.” No, I’m just joking. I’m like– And we did have a lot of iterations of the...

E: The lyrics.

B: The lyrics. So the one that we put out was actually quite mellow, [laughs] [unclear] what we had. But we did think that our original one was too far, so we’re like, “Okay, no, let’s just turn it back.” But like, it’s just another... you know.

E: It wasn’t us, it was Paganini, by the way.

B: Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, it’s, uh, Paganini, yeah, yeah. And then Mozart kinda just pranked Paganini the whole time, too, so.

14:29

[staff speaking inaudibly]

Yes. Oh, okay, okay, okay, sorry. We gotta get on to the next question. So sorry, let’s get on to the next question. [Brett and Eddy talking at the same time, Brett laughs.]

E: Do you want to choose? [Brett speaks inaudibly] Um... I don’t know, you choose. I picked the one before.

B: White mask.

E: White mask? 

[some people speaking, trying to identify which person]

E: Okay, yeah.

Q2: Hello, Brett and Eddy.

B: Hello.

Q2: I’m [name], and I have been a fan since the Ben Lee video, in 2019, and–

E: Since which–?

Q2: The Ben Lee video.

B: Oh, Ben Lee video– [inaudible, fans laughing]

E: Sacrilegious.

Q2: And it’s really a dream come true, to get to meet you in person. And so I would like to ask, out of the many videos that you have made, except for those million (subscriber) drops, do you have any particular videos that you like the most, or you feel (are) very memorable?

E: Mm. Um, sorry, can I just check, uh–

[commotion, sounds like some kind of accident happened]

Someone: You okay?

Q2: Yeah, I’m okay.

15:43

E: Okay. Um, “out of all the videos which ones we feel are memorable”, is that the question, right? [pause] Okay, this is recent, like, just ‘cause it’s fresh off my mind, but actually the video we posted yesterday. I don’t know if you guys saw, it was really fun. But we got invited to a univer– our old university, to be adjudicators. That was really... it felt really special to us, because it was where we studied, and we both did the competition before. And, uh, I didn’t win it, so.

Fans: [laugh]

E: But now I’m the adjudicator, so I was like, y’know. But I think that was really fun. There’s so many that I really like. Have you guys seen the video with, um, where we spoke Chinese, and the two spoke Korean, Hyung and Angie? That was really funny. And like, “ddongssa”, and we thought that was rosin? I really like that one. I don’t know, Brett, do you have any that stick out for you?

16:49

B: Uh, for me– Okay, that adjudication video we did, posted a couple of days ago, was special. One that stuck out straight away was the Among Us video we did for the Mendelssohn octet. I don’t know if you guys seen that one. That was really fun, especially playing with other people, and trying to figure it out, all that stuff. So that was definitely special. And... what else is there...

E: We did a video with HKFO actually, this week. And that was a really fun one, so–

B: Oh, that was it, that was good.

E: I’m pretty excited for that as well. Yeah, so many (videos), I don’t know. It’s like, it’s been ten years of making videos, almost. I think this is our tenth year, right?

B: Yep, [inaudible]

E: Yeah, so um... yeah.

B: The back pain is real now.

E: Yeah, the back pain [inaudible]. Yeah. Any other questions? Uh, yes?

17:47

Q3: Actually, it’s you guys who inspired (me) to study music next year. And I have grant to study abroad, to UK, [inaudible]

E: Oh, nice. Exciting.

B: Oh, congratulations.

Q3: Thank you.

[fans clapping]

Q3: And I want to ask, what’s suggestion would you guys give to someone who’s going to study music?

E: Uh, can I ask what instrument you play?

Q3: Trombone and piano.

E: Trombone and piano... I don’t have– I don’t know trombone advice.

B: I’ve never heard of that combo before, trombone and piano. Do you– Do you have a– Do you have one that you like more?

Q3: I think trombone.

B: Ohhh......

Q3: ‘Cause, like, the ratio of female and male trombonist is, like, one to nine. So I–

E: One to nine?! Wow.

Q3: I’ve only met around, like, five female trombonist in Hong Kong. But, yeah, but imagine it’s like, 100 people who play that.

E: That’s true, I’m trying to think about all the orchestras we played in. How many female trombonists have we seen?

B: None.

[fans laugh]

E: Queensland Symphony was all guys. Sydney Symphony?

B: None. They’re all–

[fans laugh harder]

E: Wow.

B: They’re all, they’re all usually on french horn.

E: Yes, usually.

B: Female players usually play on french horn.

E: Or trumpet, [inaudible]

B: Or trumpet, yeah, trumpet and french horn. Trombone, wow, you’re a first, I guess.

19:17

E: Actually, can I ask? How do trombone players view tuba players?

Q3: Can you repeat that?

E: How do trombone players view tuba players? Is it kinda like violin and viola?

Q3: Yeah, it’s like violin but it’s– there will be a few notes in one position, and you need to memorise them.

E: Okay.

Q3: Yeah.

E: Interesting. Yeah, I don’t know. What advice would you give, going to study in the UK?

B: You gotta book out all the practice rooms in advance. I know a lot about students’ struggle with that overseas, like UK, or the US.

E: Oh, what school? Have you– do you know that?

Q3: Um, that is [name] School. It’s a girls’ college–

E: Oh wow.

Q3: –and I got the scholarship

E: Oh wow. ‘Gratulations.

B: Lowkey flexing. [laughs]

20:02

E: Um, I think... hmm... I don’t know, I don’t know how to give, like, advice very well, ‘cause I feel like advice is always best when it’s like specific to your situation, that’s why–

Q3: So like, what would you suggest to adapt to this new environment?

E: Oh, okay. Adapting to new– you mean, in a different country, or in like a music school?

Q3: Music school, yeah. And I think it works in different countries, as well.

E: Mm... I think, um... My mind’s blanking, [unclear]

B: There’s like, numbers coming out of his head. [high pitched calculation noise] [laughs]

20:50

Okay, I’ll say something. I think when you go– are you going by yourself?

Q3: Yes.

B: Okay, I think, first, definitely meet– you’ll meet a lot of people, right? And always try to get with the community there, the people around you. Because I think when we’re studying, the one thing that’s important is about the people you spent the time with, right? So all the musicians are there, they’ll make you practice, they’ll keep you kind of in check. It’s definitely important to kind of mingle with them, and– I assume you’re, might have to try and get used to the lifestyle there? I mean, I don’t know what the lifestyle is like, but I know that brass players also drink a lot. [laughs]

Q3: Stereotype!

B: [laughs] Sorry. And you’re doing two instruments as well, so definitely... This is like a Sophie question, ‘cause she plays violin and piano, quite well.

E: Yeah.

Q3: I played violin before but the teacher was–

B: Whoa.

Q3: –so weird, that playing the [unclear], like, throw the [unclear] or something, if I play wrong notes, yes.

B: Was your teacher a Blackpink fan? [fans laugh] Just kidding, just kidding.

21:54

Okay, like, look, yeah, I– look, you have to just go with the flow. I know definitely it’s going to be chaotic at the beginning, but just know, after a few months’ time you’ll start settling in. I know when I first moved to Sydney—this wasn’t studying, but when I went to play with the Sydney Symphony—it was very chaotic. Just– I checked my schedule, like, everyday, just trying to make sure I’m on time. But after a while you get used to the flow, and then I think your normal practice routine will be back. So just– if you– it might be stressful at the beginning, so it should be alright, eventually.

E: Yeah, I think it’s just really exciting.

Q3: Yeah.

E: Sounds like a really big step in your life, and just, I think, make the most out of it. I don’t– You seem like you know what you want. You seem... I actually don’t think there’s much advice, other than just to enjoy it as much as you can. You will look back when you’re our age, thirty, like us, going back to uni and be like, “Those were good days.” So yeah, have fun!

Q3: Thank you.

22:57

[inaudible speaking]

E: We’ll go for a few more questions? I think we’ll go for a few more questions, yeah. Thanks. Uhh, Brett, choose.

B: I don’t– uhh, one in blonde.

Q4: I’m so nervous, I typed the question down on my phone, so I will [inaudible]. Since you guys started running your YouTube channel as a hobby, and it turned into a second profession other than being a violinist, I want to know how do you keep the passion alive to work in this situation? Because I’m also turning my hobby as a kid, drawing, to my future career. I’m going to attend art school this year, and I got into my dream school this year! Hooray! Uh, and, so I just wanna know– uh, so I’m already starting to see drawing as a work that has to be done, and I lost the motivation to draw as passionately as before. So, how do you balance– how do you balance it? And how do you [inaudible]. Thank you!

24:01

E: That’s a great question. Brett? [fans laugh] You guys are asking some really difficult questions, actually. That’s a very deep, philosophical... I think we need Wise Yang Sensei, with the life advice.

“How do you keep motivated when your hobby becomes your work,” is your question, right? Um... I think, for... Okay, I think for us, it’s about remembering why, and not losing sight of that. So it’s like, why do you love doing what you do?

24:52

And because it’s... it’s tricky, right? Because we always have to balance things with, kind of, reality, you know? I can’t– Sometimes, once it becomes your work, you have to meet deadlines, you have to work with clients, and sometimes clients might want this or that. And, you know, it’s part of what it’s like to make it your work. But I think if it feels like you’re losing motivation, maybe it’s time to kind of– rather than facing outwards, kind of go back inwards, and reconnect with the reasons why you love doing this—like a “why do you think it’s a good thing”.

25:38

That’s been it for me. I think, like, for example—I said this all the time—like, with YouTube as well, it’s like, it’s easy to fall into that frame of, like, “Oh, as a content creator we’re just chasing views, and then making content.” And there’s definitely been times where we felt the pressure to just make a video to keep making videos, or to make sure we get views, ‘cause if we stop making videos then it’s the internet and people forget about us in two days, you know, things like that, right? 

But then, at the end of the day, it’s like... You know, we did take some time off, and that was scary at the beginning. And then we realised, “Oh, it’s okay, people are still here.” And over time, you kind of decide, “Well, okay, these are the type of videos that we do want to do, because we know we’ll genuinely have fun. And then some video ideas, we know, probably will get a lot of views, but it’s just not something we want to do.” And then so, we’re like, “Okay, y’know, might be a good video but we won’t do it.”

26:46

So, I guess it’s to strike that balance between the job, or what you have to do, and fulfilling what you want inside. And if you don’t feel good, always just to– it means the balance might be a bit too much that way, (so) just kind of (pull) back a little bit. I don’t know if that answers your question.

Q4: Yes, [inaudible].

E: Alright, thank you.

Q4: Thank you!

E: Do you have anything to add?

B: No, I think you answered the question.

[all laugh]

27:12

E: Sweet. Any more questions? Uhh, I saw you raise your hand? Yeah, in black.

Q5: Thank you, Brett and Eddy. What is the most significant critiques you received from your comments, and how do you take that and make improvements? Maybe each one of you?

E: Ooh.

Q5: Thanks.

B: Full of vomit emojis.

Q5: So Brett, you cannot say, “Eddy, you answer the question,” okay?

[all laugh]

E: That was a critique right there.

B: [laughs] Critique. Most significant critic– criticism.

E: I think the most significant critique on comments is, “Eddy, stop doing paper in scissors-paper-rock.” But I never learn from that—I keep doing it anyway. I don’t know, I feel like... I can’t actually think of any off the top of my head. Most comments I can think of have always been so positive. Um... Can you think of any?

B: I honestly can’t. I think– in terms (of) criticism, most significant criticism...

E: Gonna pull out the comments to our latest video.

B: Yeah... I–

E: [laughs]

28:31

B: I mean, when you say criticisms, without the “comment”, I start thinking about me being in my violin lessons—my teacher saying this and that. But in terms of online, it usually feels like... It’s actually just a lot of positive comments usually, honestly. I know a lot of people—you know, we have like, 100 positive comments, one bad comment—people are gonna zone in on that. But we’ve kinda gotten used to that? And we just been treating comments as a feedback, for us to see what people like, what they enjoy. And in fact, I’ve really enjoyed some of the comments people make. Like, they make really clever comments, or– things like that gives me a laugh. And that just keeps us going, doing our own thing. Um, and– I don’t know if there’s a specific one, but I also enjoy reading a lot of– ‘s not really criticism, but when people have a story to tell in their comments. Like what they went through, what they’re doing, how they got here, what things have been happening, you know—these things kind of help us– well, they inspire us to keep, kind of, doing what we do, so. I don’t know if I really answered that question, but yeah.

E: Yeah. Yeah, I can’t think of any negative comments of the top of my head as well, but I was just quickly scrolling through, just then. And there’s so many funny– you guys come up with the funniest comments. Someone was like, “If you can adjudicate slowly, you can adjudicate quickly,” ‘cause we took so long adjudicating that day. But yeah, I think that’s... yeah.

30:04

B: Are there any more questions? Uh, the pink.

Q6: Hello, Brett and Eddy, I specially flew here from Chengdu to see you, so I wanted to hear the both of you speak Chinese (Standard Mandarin)—

B: [groans]

Q6: I wanted to ask if you have any plans to tour Mainland China this year, and do you have anything you'd like to say to fans in Mainland China? Finally, I'd like to welcome you to Chengdu to look at pandas and eat hotpot.

E: Oooh, hotpot.

[B and E discuss inaudibly]

B: I only heard "eat hotpot".

Q6: Are there any cities you want to go to; any tour plans?

Someone: Any plans for tour in China?

Someone else: In Mainland China!

B: Oh, right!

E: Brett, I thought you were practicing your Chinese, why don't you understand?

Someone: And do you have any preference, for the cities?

31:08

B: Ohhh, okay okay. Do I have to answer in Chinese?

E: Yes, she said she wants to hear us speak Chinese.

B: Uhhh, I like to eat hotpot. I would like– I would also like to go to Ch– Chen...

Q6: Chengdu.

B: Chengdu.

E: Also, I want to—what was that city we went to last time—Guangzhou. We want to go to Guangzhou.

B: Oh, right. I forgot.

E: Yeah. We’re not sure, we were thinking we could do it next year, maybe, but the plans haven't been, like...

Someone(?): Confirmed.

E: Confirmed, yeah, we haven't confirmed them. We just have some ideas. Also, maybe Shanghai? I think Shanghai—

[fans cheer]

31:59

E: Oh wow, okay. Yeah. Because the both of us have been to Shanghai; Brett went with the Sydney Symphony.

B: No, it was to Beijing.

E: Oh, you didn't go to Shanghai?

B: We went to Beijing.

E: Oh, so it was Beijing.

B: Right. [fans laugh] Yeah.

E: Oh. Wait, so have you been to Shanghai?

B: Nope. [fans laugh] I want to go though.

E: I've been before, I joined a tour group with a friend. And I remember, was it Pudong, Puxi, or something? You know there's that river—

Fans: Huangpu River. [T/N: Pudong and Puxi are districts to the east and west of the Huangpu River respectively.]

E: Huangpu River. And so many people were taking wedding photos there! Everyone was—I remember there were weddings everyday. Yeah, there were like five people getting married, I'm like, holy moly. Yeah. So maybe Beijing, Shanghai, Chengdu, Guangzhou; we really want to go, yeah.

Q6: Is there anything you want to say to the fans (in Mainland China)?

E: Thank you for all your support, and we'll continue to practice 40 hours every day. Yeah, cool.

33:15

Like, it’s 5:10, maybe two, three more questions?

B: Okay.

E: Maybe it’ll go to 5:30 [inaudible]. Yeah, uh, few more questions, yeah.

B: Uh... okay.

Q7: Okay, I come from Guangdong, and I will [inaudible].

E: Oh, nice.

Q7: Yeah, and I will ask the third question from my friend, I’m a [inaudible]. She asked, is tomorrow allowed to take any pictures during the performance?

B: If you’re allowed to take pictures?

E: Taking photos during the performance...

B: I think so...?

Staff: Not during the performance.

B: Oh, okay. Yeah, not during the performance, but...

Staff: Afterwards.

B: But afterwards.

Q7: But afterwards. Okay, [inaudible], thank you.

34:06

B: Okay. Do you have another question? Uh... in the white [inaudible]. Yeah, third row, yeah, yeah.

Staff: Sorry, which one?

B: [unclear]

Q8: Uh, hi.

B: Hi.

Q8: I am [name].

E: Hello.

Q8: A casual question: so I am really into MBTI.

B: Oh!

Q8: So, I really want to–

E: Oh, I love MBTI too!

Q8: Yeah, yeah, I love– I really want to ask you guys, what is your latest MBTI test results?

E: Can you guess? What– Do you know what we are, in the past?

Q8: I? Uh, no, I think Eddy is E.

E: I’m E? Think I’m a E? Guess what we are!

B: Oh, if you know, don’t tell her! Just let her guess!

E: We’ve talked about it online before, so if you know, don’t tell her.

B: Don’t tell her, keep your mouth closed, keep quiet!

Q8: Yeah, but like, because MBTI changes, it always changes.

E: Oh, okay.

Q8: Yeah, so some– for some people it always changes, so I would really want to know that– did your MBTI change, of any sort?

35:04

B: Oh, I guarantee Eddy hasn’t changed. [fans laugh] It’s very potent. Okay, guess– do you want to guess Eddy’s first?

Q8: Uh, I?

B: Yep.

Q8: S?

E: Maybe? Just keep going– [unclear] it’s okay!

Q8: IS... F... Is it F? No, it’s T– No, I think it’s T. [laughs] Uh... IST... P?

E: ISTP? That’s not–

B: Pretty close!

E: That’s the yellow dude, right? ‘Cause I [unclear] their colours. Is it yellow, or is it blue?

Someone: Yeah, yellow.

E: Yellow, he’s yellow.

B: Yellow, okay.

E: ISTP... He’s the guy with the toolbox, I think... With the tools, the drill!

B: Yeah, the drill.

E: Yeah! Close, close—I’m actually a INTP.

Q8: Ahh, okay.

E: So I’m the purple scientist, who just like– yeah, just stays in my room and practice all day.

Q8: That’s good, that’s good.

36:12

E: Yeah. How about Brett? Can you guess Brett?

Q8: I... N...

B: [laughs] She’s on the spot.

Q8: Yeah, you put me on the spot!

B: IN...

Q8: FP?

B: Wow, you’re very close on both.

E: Close, close.

B: I’m actually ENFP.

Fans: Whoa......

B: Whoa, why is it like “whoa”?

E: You know what’s a really funny story about this, actually? Even Brett didn’t know he was extroverted, in the beginning. So when he first found out he was ENFP he’s like, “What?! I’m not extroverted!��� And then our friend was like, “An introverted wouldn’t yell so loud.”

B: [laughs] I remember that.

E: Yeah, he was like, “What?! I’m not extroverted!”

B: Yeah, [unclear] “The introvert would not do that.”

E: Yeah.

B: And I think I was telling everyone I was...

E: You thought you were INFP, initially thought, too.

B: Yes, yeah. And I was telling everyone, I was like, “No, I’m introverted, I’m introverted!” And [unclear] was like, “...dude.”

E: [laughs]

B: “An introvert would not do that.”

E: Yeah. So you’re very close, actually, yeah.

Q8: That’s good, thank you–

37:20

B: What are– what are yours?

Q8: Oh, mine is–

E: Oh, I wanna guess!

Q8: Yeah, sure, guess!

B: [inaudible] gonna guess?

Q8: Yeah, I’m going to turn you back right on the spot!

E: Um... I think you are...

B: [quietly] How are you gonna guess?!

E: INFP.

Q8: No.

E: Aw, damn.

B: My turn, my turn. So I have one-in-fifteen chance.

E: Yeah.

Q8: Sixteen.

B: Sixteen?

Q8: Oh, no, sorry, fifteen, yeah, sorry.

B: No, one-in-fifteen, right? [to Eddy] You said INFP, right? No no–

E: Actually–

B: –no no no no no no no no let me– shhhh.

E: What colour do you think she is?

B: Uhh... ESFP.

Q8: Right. You’re–

[everyone cheering in shock]

38:08

E: Damn.

B: You know what gave it away?

E: What?

B: I think the way she dressed, it’s very outgoing. “Look at me, woo!”

E: ESFP... ESFP is the yellow one with brown [inaudible]

Q8: Yeah, it’s the Entertainer.

B: Wow...

E: Makes sense, makes sense. Nice.

B: Wow.

E: There’s uh, charades telepathy.

B: Do I get bubble tea?

E: [laughs]

Q8: Sure, sure! [laughs]

B: [laughs]

E: Nice.

Q8: Thank you!

E: Cool, thank you. That was a fun question.

B: [inaudible] we do one more question? Do we have time?

Staff: Maybe two more?

B: Two more, okay, cool. You can pick.

E: Um, alright. In the back, there?

38:51

Q9: Just a normal question: What’s your favourite movie, and why do you recommend it? Or which one do you think is the best use of classical music or violin?

E: Ooh, a movie.

B: That use–

E: Best use of classical music or violin.

B: Dude, that’s not a normal question, that’s a hard question. Whoa, that’s... Favourite movie...

E: That’s tricky. I’ll be honest, I don’t watch that many movies, so already that’s a bit hard for me.

B: Does anime count?

E: Yeah, I was gonna say, I watch anime. 

[fans say it counts]

E: Anime... but then there’s not that much anime with classical music. Obviously there’s Your Lie In April, there’s Nodame... They’re not really movies, they’re like series, right? What movie would you recommend, Brett?

39:59 

B: I’m still thinking, just– I’m not sure yet, I just– It’s– Okay. I have favourite movies. But the classical music part, it’s... I’m not sure I have one that sticks out.

E: Yeah.

B: But, uh... Grease– There’s always all time favourites, like the ones from... You guys know Inception? It’s been a while now, right?

E: Mhm. I like Inception.

B: The dream in a dream—that was pretty cool. In fact, actually, there was an anime that had that, called Paprika. Right, Paprika?

E: Mhm.

B: They had the same concept, with the dream in a dream. But in terms of classical music, I can’t really access that right away.

40:37

E: Yeah, nothing sticks out in mind, I just remember the bad ones, and like, not good ones. But, I mean—I actually haven’t watched this movie—I’ve heard The Pianist is really good. I’ve been meaning to watch it, but I haven’t gotten around to it. Apparently it’s really good, The Pianist.

B: Oh, The Pianist.

E: Yeah. But apparently, it, like, makes you cry. I hate watching movies that make me cry, ‘cause then I’m just like, a mess. The most recent movie that I watched that made me cry—have you guys seen Coco? (The) Disney movie? I know it’s not classical music, but it’s a very musical movie as well, and dude, that movie wrecked me. It was like, so sad, so.

B: I didn’t know that.

E: Right, ‘cause you think Disney’s like, just for little kids and stuff, but it was like, full deep. And it’s about music, and stuff, so. Yeah, that was a cool movie. I don’t know if that answers your question.

Q9: Did you guys watch the new Spider-Man movie?

B: Oh, I haven’t seen it yet.

E: Wait, which one is the new one? But is it the one with the three (Spider-Mans)?

Someone: Across the Spider-Verse, it’s the animation one.

E: Oh, no, I haven’t watched it. Is it good?

Q9: It’s really good.

E: Ooh, okay. Cool, we’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, thank you.

41:56

B: Oh, one more question. Uh... Okay, in the front.

Q10: Hi, I’m [name] and this my girlfriend, [name].

B: [laughs] You guys saw that? He just put his hands all like...

Q10: Well, we are both violinists, and we’ve been dating for, like, five months. And I just have one question, that, um... Do you guys, like, get competitive all the time?

B: Wait, wait a second. Is this– are you asking for a friend, or like...?

E:  Is this relationship counselling right now?

Q10: Friendship-wise, but like, do you get competitive all the time, and like, arguing who being the best– who being the better one? And if yes, how do you overcome it and deal with it?

B: So... does she ask?

Q10: I ask this question.

B: Ohhh.

E: Somehow I feel like the question’s not really about us.

[laughter]

 43:03

E: I don’t think we really do go competitive. Even like... okay, even back in uni, where we had some competitions where we’re against each other, we were never, like, competitive, you know? In the sense that we would still play for each other—like before our competition, we’d be like, “Hey, can you listen to my Mozart?” Or I’ll play my thing for you and just, you know, listen to each other, gives each other some feedback. I know there were definitely some students that were a bit more, like, weird about it. I remember, um...

B: Actually, for me it was similar. For the competitions, it was always about just making it through. Like, “Oh, you’re next, ohhhh.” I always thought about “Oh, who’s going first, who’s going second,” you know? And you can start playing these mind games with yourself.

E: Yeah.

B: So we don’t really get competitive. And honestly, I feel like I’ve never had the capacity to be competitive when I walk on stage. I just get really nervous, and I’m just trying to make it through the whole piece.

E: Yeah, same. It was almost like we’re both sharing the pain of going to this competition together, it’s like...

B: Yeah, but it’s not about us, so...

44:17

E: Oh yeah, that’s right, this question’s not about us. That is interesting though, actually. I have heard, you know, about musician couples. I don’t know, though. I don’t know what to say, Brett. Wise sensei, Yang-sensei. [laughs]

B: Okay, look—do you guys get competitive?

Q10: Sometimes.

B: Sometimes! Ohhh!

Q10′s girlfriend: Because we’re very, like, close in, like, level, and we’re gonna go to, like, university soon, and we’re both gonna study music.

B: Wait, so– but are you guys competing in the same university?

Q10g: Probably.

B: Probably? Have you got in the university yet?

Q10g: We have got in, and we both have full scholarships.

B: You both have full scholarships...

Q10g: And the same teacher.

E: Okay–

B: Whoa... Okay, this is– okay–

45:07

E: This is– okay, I have two ways of thinking about this, actually. I have the practical answer, which is interacting in normal day life. And then I have, like, the bigger picture—what I think about relationships.

So, I think, in life, meeting people that are genuinely close, that you form, like, life-long relationships with, is something that is so rare, and so meaningful. And that, to me, is always gonna be more precious than winning some competition. Like someone that you can trust, that you know that you guys will support each other. 

45:48

And so for me, like for people– like, for Brett, for example—like, I think it’s always that you should want the best for the other person, and you should also know that they want the best for you. And so, you know, if you see someone else exceed—even if, let’s say, for example, he won the Bach Prize and I didn’t, for example—even if in the moment I feel a little bit, like, jealous or envious—I’m not saying I did, I don’t remember how I felt, but if I did—I think at the end of the day, you should still commit. And there’s something you can practice, actually. Just practice being like, “No, I’m going to congratulate them, I’m gonna feel happy for them, because I want the best for them.” I think that’s really important, if you want to have a long–term– not even just relationship, like, a friendship, like a close friend, you know.

46:47

B: Yeah, I think you made a good point, like– Envy consumes you, if you’re not careful. Because it’s all inside you, you know. And there’s nothing to gain from envy—there’s literally nothing there, it’s just– you harm yourself inside. And it’s like Eddy said—yeah, envy happens? That’s why it’s one of—what’s that, like—seven deadly sins, or something. Like it happens, but it’s part of us to try and practice a way out of it, you know.

So you might feel it. It’s okay to feel it, you don’t have to be like, “I feel envy. Oh my god, I’m a bad person. Oh my god.” Just kind of be like, “Okay, well, it’s there, but I’m not gonna act on it. And I shouldn’t respond to it. I just look at it.” It’s like, “Oh, hi, envy. How’re you going? I’m going back to practice.” Just ignore it. And then, what Eddy said—it’s like, you practice congratulating the other person.

E: Mm.

B: So– and that’s– You’ll find that’ll help you in the long run, because then both of you, or who you’re congratulating, will help each other. And they say, “If you wanna go fast, you go by yourself; if you wanna go far, you work as a team.” So that’s really important.

47:52

E: Yeah. Even in the– I mean, even... Actually, that’s a really good point, right, like, when you’re young, it might feel like it’s just about who plays the best, who practices the most, who wins competitions. But actually, later, when you’re actually touring—and y’know, we meet a lot of soloists as well—who you know does matter a lot. And even if you’re the best player, if you just piss everyone off ‘cause you’re so competitive, no one will want to work with you. So that’s really important. Um, and–

B: He’s just– [laughs]

E: [laughs] Okay, but– [laughs] on a more day-to-day, practical level, I think—‘cause like, I have heard stories about this—I think the main thing is if someone else is practicing, don’t give advice unless they ask for it.

B: Oh yeah, don’t do that.

E: Don’t just walk into the room, be like, “Yo yo, I think your B-flat’s a bit out of tune, I think you should uh, work–” Like, don’t do that, don’t do that!

B: [laughs] [unclear]

48:53

E: It’s funny, though, ‘cause I’ve– we know, like, musicians that are musician couple—it’s a really common thing—and the insecurity... I have heard from– especially from couples where maybe one of them is more ahead in their career than the other one, it can feel like–

B: Or they’re in a string quartet.

E: String quartet is a big one as well. So, it’s– yeah, it’s not–

B: Oh, you guys in a string quartet?

E: Like it sounds funny, but it’s actually a tough challenge, and I hope– I wish you guys the best. Yeah.

Q10: Thank you.

E: Cool.

B: Alright, I think that’s it, right? Thank you, everyone!

E: Thank you, everyone, thank you!

49:34

Q&A session ends here. remainder of the video contains audio from the photo session, and op’s conversations, which will not be included here.