#ask me about this game motherfucker

[spacevixenmusic]

Unfairly Maligned Games, Vol. 1

Games I loved that got low scores, review bombed, or have some other weird negative stigma attached to them that I think is unfairly earned.

NOTE: I don't believe in giving games a number score or a letter grade. Maybe I'm just bad at criticism or very easy to please, whatever.

Battleborn [2016]

One of my personal favorite games of all time, Battleborn was advertised as a hero-based PVP shooter with MOBA mechanics that unfortunately came out right alongside one of the biggest games of the PVP shooter genre ever released (Overwatch). Thanks to this poor timing, Battleborn - along with several other similar but different games - was doomed to failure, choked to death by Blizzard's infinite marketing resources and predatory Free Play Weekends that just mysteriously happened to occur on the same weekends as its "competitors" major updates, DLC releases, promo events, etc. Battleborn is no longer available to play ANYWHERE as of January 2021; so few people played it after it was review bombed as "the game your mom bought you when you asked for Ovewatch for xmas" (yes Blizz fans used that fucking Simpsons meme TO DEATH, it's their one joke they have about Battleborn) that the game's servers had to be shuttered so the money could be funneled into Gearbox's much bigger cash cow release at the time, Borderlands 3.

Sour grapes aside, Battleborn was in many ways the game that many people actually wish Overwatch was now. In addition to the PVP game, Battleborn had a co-op campaign mode - complete with a story, cutscenes, and unique character dialogue depending on who you brought to each mission - which could be played for character XP (ability tree unlocks), random gear loot (for use in either campaign mode or PVP), and character cosmetics. The 30 playable characters were wildly varied in terms of design and gameplay, and yes I have to point it out every time, Battleborn had both "cute tiny animal in a mech suit" and playable black women BEFORE Overwatch did. The game also featured a very impressive and highly slept-on visual aesthetic that felt like every Saturday Morning Cartoon I ever grew up with from the 80s/90s, featuring a wild blend of 3D and 2D animation that all the other hero PVP games WISH they could have matched.

And damn, dude. If you like Lore in your video games, there was a TON of material written for this one. And I'm not just talking about supplemental media like a comic or a wiki or an interview about cut content or whatever. I mean there was a metric FUCK TON of additional world-building material right there in the game. Each character came with a set of challenges you could complete which would give you the usual XP and money, but also unlocked a fun little tidbit of Lore about the universe. These came in the form of short stories, recorded conversations, email logs, forum posts, shipping manifests, and even fully voiced segments explaining details about each character, who they were, why they were fighting this war, and some fun little ways of explaining how their weapons or abilities worked. For example, Reyna holds her laser pistol on its side, gangster-style, because she wanted to use a very specific gun model, had its internal parts stripped out so she could use an ammo clip of a much stronger caliber than that model was supposed to be capable of, but in order for the chamber to reload correctly, the gun had to sit a bit cockeyed. And that fun little nugget is just sitting there, right in the game, for you to discover! It's fucking cool as hell!

Now I know you're itching to make a joke about there only being like 15 people who even played the game. Yes, I've seen the Active Player Steam charts meme. It's true, Battleborn had a very small, but also very dedicated, community. Despite that, there were so few people playing that we all ended up making friends with each other pretty quickly. It was one of the friendliest PVP communities I'd ever been a part of. We knew there weren't many people online, so we created an environment that felt comfortable for players new and veteran alike. Many of us are still friends today, outside of the game. Because there were so few people online, we also got to play regularly with Gearbox devs and game writers, and even one of the voice actors responsible for at least three of the game's characters (plus a few NPCs!). We organized and hosted our own events, got official backing from the devs for Double XP weekends, held art jams and hashtag celebrations. Hell, I even used my love of this game to jumpstart my serious foray into music by making an entire album of songs for its characters (complete with a bunch of commissioned fan art from the community)!

(art by Leaddybum)

So yeah. Rest in peace, Battleborn. You were ahead of your time and the hate and harassment you got from The Gamers was completely undeserved. I will always keep hope alive that you'll come back to us some day. Maybe as a sequel, maybe in a new format. There was so much more left to explore in that universe.

May our battle never end.

[aseuki]

Sleep power coming in clutch

[moopermoment]

you know what, fuck it. time to post stuff for my in stars and time club penguin crossover because i'm cringe and free

Agent/Ace as Siffrin Rookie as Mirabelle Dot as Isabeau Sensei as Odile Klutzy as Bonnie

there's more characters i have as penguins but those are the main party!

agent is created by @tofudemaru

also ISAT spoilers below:

ace getting a little quirky and mal du pays ace

[karmaphone]

I would gladly send $90 to scammers if even $10 of the original 100 made it to an actual Palestinian in need of it. you guys are way more caught up in 'wah I scammed out of a few dollars' by people taking advantage of a global tragedy than the fact that a few lost dollars is nothing compared to getting even a little bit of aid to someone that needs it

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

*sees a nation of white people who should be black* “the biggest issue is actually circles I think” . Fuck off and just delete the fucking game if you’re gonna focus on something so trivial over the literal colorism. Gotta love a white person who can never check themselves on if their commentary matters and decide instead to be annoying af

me when i harrass latinos on tumblr

[adamparrishdyke]

was beefing with an anti masker "anarchist" small business owner (Ok first of all how) over the prospect of ME standing next to her to ask people if to wear/ give masks and this bozo said "i'm an anarchist and i don't believe in enforcing my beliefs on people" i said okay! i'm an anarchist and i believe in collective liberation which means wearing a fucking mask!!!!!!! you stupid stupid asshole!!!!!!!!!!!

[rexcaliburechoes]

ask game - KISS

spins a comically large wheel that just consists of the name "istorros"

god. okay. i've been looking for an excuse to talk about istorros. so i'm gonna take this as my sign to talk a little about him.

the real answer is sort of funny, because in my current file, he's romancing gale, so the last person he's technically kissed is gale. but story-wise, astarion, because of a bunch of funny shenanigans that happened behind the scenes.

here he is casting speak to dead for context (the only other reference i have of him is an Actual mugshot. lmao.)

[asyipyip]

hold on everyone shut up im getting super emotional about jonathan sims

[dadzxwa]

Just got my rosters and it is going to be one hell of a school year

[leofrith]

also leofrith/eivor for the ship ask 🥰🥰

YES license to talk about my silly little rarepair from hell that has completely taken over my brain that i haven't shut up about in our dms for the past two months straight. thank you for dealing with me btw. 🥰🥰 this is going to get long.

What made you ship it?

i liked leofrith almost from the moment he was introduced in my first playthrough and just kept spiralling as i discovered more of the little notes and things about him/from him strewn about the map (which are a subplot all on their own, to be honest). and i was dreading the inevitable boss fight and the fact that the game was probably going to force me to kill him because he is so clearly just a really good, loyal guy who gives a shit about protecting the people under his care and who just happened to pledge his sword to a total asshole. so you can imagine my immense relief when i found out i could choose to spare him.

eivor and leofrith are parallels of each other in a lot of ways imo but specifically in that they're two people who are fiercely loyal, sometimes to their own detriments. that was the first thing i noticed about them that made me start to look at them through a potential romantic lens. them being at different points in the same journey, with leofrith having been thrown to the wolves by the king he would have gladly given his life for, and then watching the same sort of thing happen with eivor and her own loyalty to sigurd when he starts acting up and treating her horribly after being freed from fulke. everything about it is just soooooooo. i could talk about them all day long... and i have.

anyway, i had sort of been dancing around them for a long while and thinking their dynamic would be neat to explore until something snapped in me in november (i wanna say the idea of hidden one leofrith? and also just finally coming up with a fic idea for them that i could invest myself in) and now i've been making it everyone else's problem ever since. 😇

What are your favourite things about the ship?

two people who are incredibly loyal and to whom honor is very important, meeting on opposite sides of a conflict that neither of them really necessarily chose to take part in but were drawn into regardless because of their loyalties (eivor to sigurd and her clan and leofrith to burgred). they're classic enemies to friends to lovers, except they barely qualify as enemies because their conflict is never personal and is entirely just them happening to be on opposite sides of the war that week. i think they have a mutual respect for each other as warriors when they first cross blades, despite being on opposing sides, which very quickly blossoms into a kinship once they no longer have to fight because they see a lot of themselves in each other.

leofrith acting as an outside observer in a way that the rest of the raven clan can't, who challenges eivor to not let sigurd walk all over her but who also intimately understands why she feels indebted to him, because he has his own sibling who pulled him out of a dark place, and for whom he would also do anything (because leofrith canonically has a sister and i love her to death even if she only exists as a name on an easily missable note and as an original character in my brain).

they also share a weakness for children, and you cannot convince me that ceolbert's affection for leofrith didn't go both ways. that is their pseudo child and leofrith is a card carrying member of my rapidly growing band of gruff men who become accidental father figures.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

i know that i call this a rarepair and the truth is that it probably doesn't truly qualify as a rarepair, because there's quite a lot of leovor content with boivor from what i've seen. but unfortunately i could not give less of a shit about boivor. sorryyyy. that's havi to me. let bi4bi leofrith and canon eivor into your hearts. ♥️

Send me a ship and I’ll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

[southislandwren]

there's been snow on the ground for literally 1 day and the spots on my feet are already coming back. come on you pussies you cant handle a little direct contact with snow??? fuck off

[queercatboyrights]

literally have no fucking clue what I'm doing in Fallen London but I'm still having a good time about it so it all works out I guess

[trenchcrows]

hhmmmzzzz. mwa kissy kiss

.

[tojisun]

still thinking about childhood best friend simon and that lake house

thinking about how simon is so forceful at pushing your boyfriend out. he’d wake up early in the morning and shoot you throngs of messages, things like if you wanted to take a morning walk with him, and take the dogs out or something.

and when you roll over, plucking your chiming phone from the nightstand, ignoring your boyfriend’s grumbling, you see simon’s messages and think nothing of them.

(simon would never—you told your man; you told him that simon’s just clingy because it’s been years since the two of you met again, that simon’s a good man.

“please trust me?” you whispered, and he had to hold back his glower because of course he trusts you.

it’s simon he doesn’t trust, but it’s not like he could say anything when your parents adore simon; when your mom pinches simon’s cheek before giving him extra servings, or when your dad claps simon on the back, telling him how he’s grown so tall and how he dearly remembers when you used to tower over simon back in your youths.

simon’s so woven into your family so how could your boyfriend ever say anything against him? he’s fucking royalty at this point—beloved by everyone.

even your nephews stare at simon with starry eyes more than they do their own dad.)

so you agree to every little outing that simon proposes—morning walks, drive to the local shops, going to liquor stores together, completing errands alone for your family.

you tried to include your boyfriend but simon and him never got along, and you just got so tired of of trying. this is your long-awaited vacation, so why the hell are you playing telephone with your two boys?

so you divided your attention then, with how the two of them are so stubborn when it came to you.

but—

simon knows you. he knows how to catch your attention.

so night dates with your boyfriend turned into a hangout with simon inviting himself in. he would always walk with you two to your room, crash in the bean bags and ask what would you all watch tonight. or he would tug you all to the family game room and make up a game that would end in you and him teaming up against your boyfriend. or he would propose a night swim in the shallow ends of the lake, and it’s always his shirt that he’d hand to you when you get chilly.

it’s these little things that add up; little things that you never really questioned because you grew up with simon, you grew up doing all of these with him, but—

simon’s different now. he’s a lot taller, a lot broader. he’s a lot more beautiful than you ever remembered.

and something in your chest unfurls, choking the threads of your rationalization—

oh god.

(simon walked in on your boyfriend packing his bags, his chest heaving and his eyes red with tears. and all simon ever tells him is, “y’need a ride?” because finally.

finally the motherfucker got the hint.)

[astonmartinii]

cutie patooties | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem leclerc!reader

just them terrorising the world with their cuteness (and collecting the younger drivers)

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SMALL BUSINESS

yourusername

liked by arthurleclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,455 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: he loves redline more than me 🙄

view all comments

user1: obsessed with how she's like "oh you wanna ship max with my brother" and then takes lestappen out back and shoots them

user2: as she should, she's the cutest leclerc by far

yourusername: true 😙

maxverstappen1: double true 😘

charles_leclerc: die.

yourusername: erm consider your ass REPORTED THIS IS HARASSMENT

maxverstappen1: did you just threaten my girlfriend ????

charles_leclerc: and what?

maxverstappen1: pull up, i'm outside

charles_leclerc: ???? leave ????

maxverstappen1: no i'm deadass don't disrespect my gf 😤😤😤

charles_leclerc: it's my SISTER

yourusername: when he's protective 😛😛😛

user3: screaming, crying, throwing up over the keychain

user4: i need someone *cough, cough* them to recreate it 🥸

landonorris: YOU WENT TO THE LEGO STORE WITHOUT ME? YOUR FAVOURITE CHILD?

yourusername: watch your tone

maxverstappen1: god forbid i want to spend time with my GIRLFRIEND on a DATE

landonorris: that's not a valid excuse

yourusername: also bold of you to assume you're our favourite child when oscar, yuki and logan are right there

oscarpiastri: snooze you lose lando

yukitsunoda0511: suck on that lando

logansargent: i'm just happy to be included

landonorris: damn...

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,203,513 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername

maxverstappen1: spent the weekend bothering my girlfriend's brother, what about you?

view all comments

user9: the way charles put his ferrari cap on y/n only for max to throw it into the crowd and put his own on her head instead

user10: those who know max's attachment to his caps, this is big.

yourusername: winning looks so sexy oh my

maxverstappen1: blushing like a motherfucker

yourusername: skip the debrief? they won't notice?

maxverstappen1: i think they might notice the driver of the race they're analysing not being there

yourusername: show them the pic i just sent you, they can't say no to my puppy dog eyes

maxverstappen1: helmut said fuck off 💔

yourusername: tell him i have a present for him (it's a pack of salt and vinegar crisps and a pamphlet for caskets)

user11: @yourusername winning IS sexy, tell your bf to tell charles win

yourusername: if charles wins it's suddenly decidedly unsexy, this isn't game of thrones babe

charles_leclerc: you ARE annoying that's right

maxverstappen1: annoyingly sexy

charles_leclerc: no comment, we're going to be family at some point soon

maxverstappen1: DAMN RIGHT WE ARE

yourusername: if you think we're annoying now, oh boy.

user12: i need max and y/n to be engaged right this fucking moment

user13: i think it would actually make my year

user14: after the championship win queen @maxverstappen1 ?

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 1,562,044 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: @ the person who asked how much max weighs... god will deal with you

view all comments

user15: i'm obsessed with how obsessed they are with each other

user16: is max's wardrobe all red bull merch and t-shirts dedicated to y/n?

maxverstappen1: yes 😌

danielricciardo: i saw the clip... the time stamp was 3am - we RACE TODAY?

yourusername: i am happy to support my man's hobby

danielricciardo: yes but you also don't have to race with that man on three hours of sleep

yourusername: be real daniel, the only time you'll be close to max is when he laps you xxx

danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME??? MAX YOU GONNA LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND TALK TO YOUR FIRST LOVE LIKE THAT?

maxverstappen1: bold of you to assume you were my first love

danielricciardo: did on the couch mean nothing to you?

maxverstappen1: soz buddy this is a childhood friends to lovers narrative right now (and we were already together by the time i was at red bull)

charles_leclerc: WHAT?

yourusername: spare me the dramatics, you guys were deep in the ANGST and then austria happened so really it's your own fault that it took as long as it did

user17: one comment section where the girls aren't fighting? impossible.

oscarpiastri: omg the shirts look so good y/n !!

yourusername: we're ✨graphic designers✨

maxverstappen1: does having a dashingly handsome model help

yourusername: of course !!!!!

oscarpiastri: i'm not going to answer that question

maxverstappen1: :(

oscarpiastri: on another thought - yes!

yourusername: @landonorris this is why he's one of the favourites

landonorris: i'm not talking to yall

maxverstappen1

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, yourusername and 1,309,556 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: weekend off racing means shenanigans and late night streaming

view all comments

user20: i know whatever poor soul went for dinner with them hated every second

yukitsunoda0511: working on being the favourite of the favourite children 🫡 and they paid for my meal at a really cool italian restaurant

oscarpiastri: game on

yourusername: so who is the lady and who is the tramp?

danielricciardo: THAT'S A TRICK QUESTION MAX DON'T ANSWER IT

maxverstappen1: you're not a lady... you're a queen 😘

yourusername: did you just fail the test, successfully?

danielricciardo: you smooth motherfucker

yourusername: stole your red bull drive and your nickname @carlossainz55

carlossainz55: why am i catching strays?

yourusername: bored ❤️

user21: y/n really be like "oh the season's boring cause my bf wins everything? let me make it interesting by shading every driver on the grid"

maxverstappen1: do NOT give her a challenge

charles_leclerc: can you PLEASE stop taking such lovey dovey gross ass photos maman keeps getting them printed and I AM GETTING MOVED OFF OF THE MANTEL PIECE I AM ON THE BOOKSHELF, THIS FACE IS A MANTEL PIECE FACE NOT A BOOKSHELF FACE

yourusername: not reading all of that, i'm happy for you or sad that happened x

charles_leclerc: MAX DO SOMETHNG

maxverstappen1: step your pussy up bro

yourusername: when he catches your lingo >>

charles_leclerc: i am a VICTIM

yourusername

liked by arthurleclerc, landonorris and 1,450,387 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & charles_leclerc

yourusername: invented babygirlism actually

view all comments

user22: y/n is so real for choosing a cute recent photo for herself and then just violating the guys

user23: she's funny as fuck for that

charles_leclerc: finally some fucking credit

yourusername: not everything can be about you all of the time 🤨

charles_leclerc: don't make me an ankle-biter again you're PUSHING ME

sebastianvettel: knew you were an ankle biter

yourusername: LOL

charles_leclerc: no seb no! i didn't bite ankles, just y/n's and that doesn't count

user24: what the fuck is going on here

maxverstappen1: you are the most babygirl to ever babygirl

danielricciardo: i think i had a stroke reading that

yourusername: awwwww you're so cute maxy

maxverstappen1: knew you were the one for me when we first met karting, you taught me the babygirl ways

yourusername: and you're delivering

oscarpiastri: you guys can't see but he's blushing so bad right now

landonorris: are you just attached to them

yourusername: yes he is, a babygirl in training

user25: how do i get adopted by y/n and max?

maxverstappen1: no but for real i love you, even if we are lumbered with your brother

yourusername: i love you too xxx

charles_leclerc: *brothers

maxverstappen1: nope arthur and lorenzo are sound

charles_leclerc: fUCK OFF :(((((((

FIN.

note: heyyyyyy you guysssss! we all know i have a soft spot for these two (plus oscar and alex) so i wanted to put out a little thing to celebrate 5k! thank you so much for following and reading my work, hope you enjoyed xx

[qqueenofhades]

I've seen a lot of doom today. Thank you for the bracing positivity!

Look man, idk if I would call it positivity. I'm fucking furious that the media and/or the billionaire class could have chosen at any time, ANY TIME, to carry out this coordinated ratfucking on Trump, and nope, they did it to Biden. Not coincidentally after he openly started espousing even more leftist/progressive tax and wealth policies. I'm also fairly certain that Putin (who is well used to playing the American elections ratfucking game) is involved here somehow, because he desperately wants Biden out and Trump back in. Two plus two, etc.

The elected Democrats who went along with this and/or who contributed to fucking Biden over also have a hell of a lot to answer for, and I hope we, the voters, let them fucking know. The only way this makes sense is if Biden is actively dying of Covid right now and/or if it's bad enough to permanently damage him. In that case, he might have had a modicum of actual say about this, rather than falling victim to the Anonymous Sources who stabbed him in the back every step of the way.

That said: Kamala is a genuinely good candidate. I am excited to have the chance to vote for her. This does turn the whole Referendum on Two Old White Men With Mental Issues narrative on its head. She might be able to reach some constituencies that Biden couldn't. I don't know for sure if all the Democratic/never-Trump GOP votes will translate, but I am so motherfucking tired of fascists thinking this will be a walk in the park. They asked for this, they fucking got it, people are really fucking mad (including me and like, everyone), and if all this maneuvering gets our first female AND Black president, the fascists are going to absolutely fucking lose it and cry for eons. And idk about you, but I want to see some sore loser fuckboys cry cry cry. I want revenge for 2016. I want Trump dead and fucking gone and yknow, Black women have played a huge role in his bad bad times so far. So it's only fair, I suppose, that Kamala gets the chance to finish the motherfucker off. I don't know if it's positivity, but that's what is fueling me right now. So yeah.