#GOD!!!! free my boy he did nothing wrong (he did so many things wrong)

[asyipyip]

hold on everyone shut up im getting super emotional about jonathan sims

[ultralightpoe]

Scream Queen - Eddie Munson

Authors Note: Part 9 of my halloween event! ENJOYYYYYY!

Warnings: bullying, pig blood, inaccurate carrie bro

Word Count: 3272

Requests: OPEN

~2024 Halloween Event Masterlist

[Thank you for the gif @trishnell ]

ENJOY!

It was always funny how something can be so wrong than the way you thought it, how you could expect one thing and end up with something entirely different. Though in your defense you didn’t have a real view on the world besides what your Momma had told you throughout the years. Any ideas you had were…. terrifying . 

Eddie Munson for one. 

It was never meant to be a problem, you had spent the first years of your education at home with your Momma as a teacher until that man Benny from the diner reported her though you never understood what the issue was. You knew everything you needed to know, you knew what was a sin and what was the proper way to go. But then you were thrown into Hawkins High Freshman year and that began causing issues with Momma. She grew more and more upset with every passing day. 

“They are gonna ruin you.” She would sob, pressing her handmade cross into your back as you tried to stay silent.  “You’re never gonna get it. He will never accept you into his realm if you do this. You understand me?!”

So you did your best, because you wanted to be accepted into gods kingdom. 

You fasted, you didn’t talk to anyone else, you prayed in between classes and hid your skin from viewing. You did your best. 

But that was when Munson became an issue. 

It had been after school and you had known better than to dally, you should have gone straight home and started your prayers. But you had been upset about something that had happened during gym, feeling silly and embarrassed from what some of the other girls had said and it left you reeling. So you planted yourself on one of the benches outside the school and tried to calm yourself down. 

Like the devil himself stalking after his prey he had shown up, sliding onto the bench beside you easily, smiling like he had no worries at all as you tried not to inhale the scent he was wearing. 

“What’s on your mind?” He hummed, leaning his head to the side like a cat. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Do I know you?” You ask even though you knew too much about him already. Eddie, full name Edward. He sold ungodly things by the picnic spot during lunch and often fought Jason Carver. 

“Sorry I should introduced myself. Eddie Munson. Pleasure to meet you.” He smiled like it was nothing and held out his hand for you to shake, only for you to ignore it. Turning your head to the side like you weren’t at all interested in the many rings he adorned. “Right. Back to my main question, what’s got the pretty girl looking so glum?”

“Nothing.” You snap out, throat tightening at his words. 

“I thought god hated liars…”

“And what would you know about god?” You snap back, finally turning to look at him just in time to see his eyes widen a little with shock before his mouth spreads into a bigger smile. 

“I know a lot of thi-” Before he could finish his sentence a loud scream rung out through the air and both of your heads swiveled in the direction so quickly you were sure you felt a pop as you saw your mother rushing to you. 

Cutting your hair was a sin, and you had always been terrified to do so but you often brushed your hair when your mother wasn’t looking since you didn’t want her to think you were being too vain. The image of your mother and her wildly long and tangled hair was terrifying, or maybe it was the pure malice in her eyes as she surged forward. 

“AWAY FROM THE SATAN WORSHIPER! RIGHT THIS INSTANT!” She wailed, coming to grab your elbow and pull you up harshly. 

“Hey hey hey.” The long haired boy jumped up, rushing to grab the wrist that was holding onto your arm. “You can’t do that to her!” 

Your mother had no care for his attempt to free your arm as she began reciting an expel evil prayer in latin, shoving him away and dragging you forward. 

“Hey, you good?” He tries to ask again, but she pulls you away before you can say anything. And before you could realize she had shoved you in her car and you were pulled away from the school. 

She hadn’t let you back at school for a week. And when you were finally allowed back you’re back was sore with the amount of times she had burnt you with her cross. You couldn’t move really, and when you managed to it was just pain. 

But this was what you deserved, you knew you should have gone home as soon as school let out. 

You were surprised to find the long haired devil worshiper at your locker towards the end of the day, when you had a free period, and you tried wracking your brain with what he could say. Would he make fun of you for what he saw like anyone else would? Would he laugh? Would he grow horns and hiss?

Instead he doesn’t say anything when you walk up, instead he reaches out his hand slowly enough that you can take a second to look at the rings he wore before his palm opened up to reveal a red wrapper that read ‘Kit-Kat’. “Chocolate?”

“I can’t have that.” You shake your head, taking a step back as your mouth waters at the sight. You had nothing but crackers for the past week as a part of your penance, which was right considering you had broken your mothers rules. 

“Sure you can.”

“God doesn’t believe in gluttony.”

“Did he tell you that himself?” He whispers, leaning forward a bit with a fake look of astonishment like he was talking to his very own prophet. 

“You’re mocking me.”

“I’m not. I also know god says that denying a gift from someone looking to extend to a savior is a form of shutting out a chance to save them.” He moves closer, that kit-kat bar still in between you both. “Come on, save me.”

“Are you saying the candy bar is your way of looking for-”

“Sshh. Just take the candy pretty girl.” He huffs and you can’t help but bite your lip as you snatch it from him. You planned to throw it away the second he turned around but he seemed to be ahead of you as he pulled another bar out and ripped the package open, giving you a look to tell you he’s waiting. 

So you rip open your own package and you’re ashamed to admit the first thing you thought of was that it matched his eyes. That thought was quickly taken over the second you tried the chocolate, dissolving into the taste of it as it melted on your tongue. 

You got so lost in the flavor that you hadn’t realized that you shut your eyes, so when you opened them you realized he had a large smile on his face. “Good?”

“I have to go.” And you walk away before he can say anything else. 

But he doesn’t give up, instead seeing Eddie Munson became a regular occurrence. Every day he would be at your locker, talking to you and coming up with reason after reason to be there.  He brought chips, and he brought sandwiches and chocolate. At some point you gave up the futile attempt to deny it all and began talking to him more and more. He showed you books, he showed you music and the world began expanding. 

Over time he became the devil worshiper your mother had warned you about, into your friend. 

But then came the conversation of prom….. or …. The fight of prom. 

For the past two years you had told your mother you were attending after school programs you needed to graduate and she had believed it. You felt wrong for lying to your mother, and you were sure you would be going to hell. But for the past two years you were really spending the afternoons in Eddie Munsons trailer. 

The day you fought you had been curled up on his bed, reading one of the novels he had demanded you read as he pretended to catch up on homework when in all reality he was watching you read. 

“I can feel your eyes.” You whisper, looking up from the book where he doesn’t even pretend that wasn’t.

“I’m waiting for your reactions. You have the best reactions to the books.”

“You’re such a loser.” You smile, watching him stand up and hop onto the bed making it bounce before he crawled up to lay by you and see what page you were on. You read silently for another 5 minutes as he reads the pages over your shoulder before he sighs out in a manner you knew all too well. 

“You have a question for me.”

“No.”

“Then you wouldn’t be sighing in my ear.”

“People say they saw Jason Carver talking to you at lunch today.”

“Where’s the question in that?”

“Was….he?” 

“Yes-”

“Did he say something mean to you? I swear to god I will kill him if he -”

“He said that Chrissy wasn’t feeling good, that she would be missing prom. He wanted to know if I’d go with him.” 

“I’m sorry…. what ?”

“He asked if I would go with him. He said his parents talked to my mom about going and he thought it would help my chances of being able to go if she knew I was going with someone from the church.” You explain, turning to look at him only for him to stand up from the bed quickly and glare at you. 

“Tell me you said no.”

“What?”

“Tell me you said no!” He shouts, hands flying up like he was begging you. “Tell me you are not that stupid!”

Your mouth had flown open during his outburst, but the second the word stupid flies from his mouth it snaps shut as you blink back the immediate tears. “I’m sorry?”

“It’s a prank. You realize that right?”

“Says who?”

“Says anyone with common sense!” He snaps, shaking his head. “You really think Jason Carver is going to go to prom with the Jesus freak? The people who used to laugh at you everytime you walked down the hall? The people who still tease you behind your back?”

“He was trying to be nice!” 

“You’re being so stupid! You’re being an idiot!” 

“Is it really that hard to believe that he would be nice to me? You just think I’m the laughing stock of the school because of my beliefs right? That’s it?”

“Right, your beliefs.” He scoffs. “Nothing but a whacked out cult.” 

“Don’t ever speak to me again.” You seethe, shoving the book you had been reading away and grabbing your shoes.

“No. YOU don’t ever speak to me again.” He snaps back, kicking the book away as he stormed out of his room with you hot on his heels, swinging to the door and pulling it open. “You want to be stupid and fall for this spectacle then be my guest.”

“You want to die alone with no friends then that’s on you!”

“Right, at least i’m not some high school sellout that’s going lose her virginity in the back of a buick. Tell me, do you think your god would approve of that?”

“Don’t ever talk to me again.” You snap once more, walking out his front door only for him to slam the door shut so harshly it shook on it’s hinges. 

You couldn’t stop crying the entire walk home. 

- 

Nervous wasn’t the right word to describe how you were feeling the night of prom. 

Jason Carver had been right, he had convinced your mother that he was godly enough to go to prom with and she would allow it. She had even made you a dress for the evening out of silk fabric. 

Over the past few months with Eddie you had gained some weight that he always said was healthy, and though she made comments about it you couldn’t stop the bubble of excitement in your chest at the image of yourself in the mirror. You had filled out the dress nicely, with hips that flared and round cheeks that held your blush. 

Your hair was soft, thoroughly brushed. She had made you a sheer slip to cover your shoulders and you had just finished putting the look together when Jason arrived to pick you up. You tried not to think about Eddie the entire ride there, and you tried to pretend you were calm as you walked into the gym with him. 

His friends were being nice, they all talked to you with wide smiles. Though they hadn’t spoken to you much before you got a little excited at the fact that they were speaking to you now. 

Jason didn’t want to dance much so you sat alongside him at the table, feet tapping to the beat as you imagined what Eddie would have done if he were here. He would have dragged you to the dance floor, made some off beat dance before making a plate of food and joked about spiking the punch. 

But he hated these dances, he had never once attended a dance throughout highschool. He claimed that it was all full with sellouts and nothing but a waste of time. 

And yet you still wished he was here. 

“Ladies and gentleman…. I’m sorry to interrupt but it is time to announce your prom king and queen.” The principal calls through the mic and Jason practically jumps out of the seat, pulling you with him. He kept a grip on your hand the entire time as you both made your way through the crowd to listen in. “After reading the votes we are glad to announce that your Prom King is….. JASON CARVER!”

The crowd around you screams in excitement as he cries out and runs up the stage, and you feel lost for a second, ready to leave before someone stops you. 

“And your prom queen made for your prom king is…. “ And the world seems to stop as he calls your name, and once you expect people to sit in silence or boo you’re shocked to see people turn to you in excitement as they cheer. They usher you to the stage and your heart beats through your chest so fast you are sure you might be sick. 

The  lights are hot on your skin as they hand you flowers, and tears begin falling down your cheeks as they place the crown on your head. 

Eddie was wrong. 

You think the words as the girl kisses your cheek before making sure the crown is straight. 

Eddie was worried about nothing. 

The principal squeezes your shoulder before stepping back as he announces that you would stand next to Jason for a photo. 

Eddie is going to be proud. 

You realize that Jason was standing a little too far from you, but as you move to take a step to him your vision is blocked suddenly as a gooey liquid covers your entire body. 

“PIG!” Is the only word you hear, shouted by a large group as your hands fly up in a panic to clear your eyes as you take a deep inhale. The flowers fall to the ground and when you move to dash off you end up tripping over them, your knees hitting the stage floor with a harsh thud, pain shooting through your leg. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Someone asks as you dash through the crowd sobbing, tripping over the heels once you reach the hall. You rip them off, leaving them behind as you flee. 

You don’t make it far, for at the main entrance stood none other than Eddie Munson wearing a suit with a small bouquet in his hands, staring at you like the world was ending. 

“No.” He whispers, taking a single step forward before it all breaks and you launch yourself at him. Within an instant he has his arms around you, lifting you with ease and spinning you a bit. 

He holds you for a minute before setting you down as you cry,  grabbing your arm softly to lead you to the van and make an escape. No words are spoken as he drives, and no words are spoken as he helps you inside the house. You walk silently in an attempt not to bother his uncle, only for him to shake his head and point to the empty spot where his uncle's car usually is before leading you to the bathroom. 

He leads you to sit on the toilet before leaning to start the water, feeling it with his hand to wait for it to heat up to the right temp while you stared without blinking. Your eyes had tears in them but if you didn’t blink then they wouldn’t keep falling. 

“It was a prank.” You croak out, your chest tightening as you can’t fight off the tears anymore. He is quick to slide over and grab your hands softly to pull your attention. 

“It was an overdone and cliche prank. Honestly if you ask me they just did you a huge favor.” He scoffs, rubbing at some of the red that was on your hand from when you wiped the red off. “I mean, getting carrie’d? Biggest compliment EVER?”

“Carrie’d?” 

“Carrie’d. Stephen King style.” He nods, tapping your chin gently before helping you stand. “Let’s get this off of you.”

“It was homemade.” You explain when his fingers trace down your sides to get to the bottom and lift it over your head. 

“You looked great. Very-”

“Piggish?”

“Perfect.” He responds before slipping it off and leading you to the shower. He gives you a minute to sink into the warmth of the water before he returns in just his boxers, reaching in to help run your hair under the water and get the stains out. The water at the drain was nothing but red as he washed, humming a bit to cheer you up. 

After 5 washes your hair still has some paint stuck in it but you are feeling a little better, so when he pulls you out of the shower and helps you climb into one of his shirts and boxers you’ve stopped crying. Or maybe you just ran out of tears. 

Nonetheless he leads you to his room and you both land on the bed, laying on your sides to stare at each other, he lets you run the pads of your fingers across his face and hair. 

“You came to prom…”

“It doesn’t count. Not in the slightest.” He huffs, rolling his eyes. “I just had to make sure my girl didn’t end up in the back of a buick.”

“That’s for sellouts.”

“Now you’ve got it.”

- 

“Too cliche?” You ask, coming into the apartment kitchen where Eddie sat on the counter stuffing a sandwich into his face. The second his eyes land on you in the costume he smiles from ear to ear and lets out a firm ‘HELL YEAH!’

“Eddie-”

“Right. Right. No hell.” He nods, hopping off the counter to come closer to you and feeling at the makeup made to look like blood. “Carrie’d. This time in style.”

“Freddie Krueger. This time not a pervert.” You smile back, fixing his hat. 

“Ready for your first halloween?”

“You know it.”

-

[Thank you for the gif @drogonstone ]

[roryculkinsgf]

million dollar man // coriolanus snow

Description: Christmast Eve with breadwinner Coriolanus Snow, taking care of his future wife

TW: smut, dom!coryo, housewife!reader, controlling over the reader, praise kink

Word count: 1.5k

(English isn't my first language, and I do not own the characters)

One for the money,

two for the show, 

I love you, honey,

I'm ready to go...

Round Christmas time everything seems  a bit too busy, crowded streets and malls. People on every corner, not single free space to live. The world just turns that way as soon as November comes around. There's no exception for the chaos, not even in Capitol. City created and ruled by the cruel men who swore to be good, failing audibly after their proud hearts wished for power over ordinary human beings. Many rebels wished to tear this fucked up system down, district citizens buried themselves in fear and your boyfriend wasnt making it any better. A boy who once promised to destroy the bad, turned himself right into the dead void. Heart beating, blood pumping, but oh kindness faded by those who dared to doubt. He became a living corpse, only one who bring warmth into his existence was you. Each time you wanted to leave for better, you came running back. Something very wrong seemed like a drug in him, but before you could realize, your addiction became deadly. Merry Christmas, I guess?

"Morning, sweetheart," he splashed a kiss into your cheek. His hands grabbed you by your waist in a dominant manner. He kinda liked to show off his control, except not just kinda and mostly over you. "Morning, Coriolanus." Soft moan spilled into his mouth when he squeezed your little butt. You could hear as he kissed your neck, muffled words of "all mine". Normally you'd probably let him go on and bend you over the kitchen desk, but it was Christmas Eve today, and he simply has to wait. 

"Not now, Coryo..s-stop..." you whimpered at the feeling of him taking the best of you. His hand was moving lower by the slowest pace posssible. His fingers slipped into your underwer, you closed your eyes. One single slick by your soft spot and suddenly he wasn't touching you at all. 

When you opened your eyes, he was holding a cup and sipping the bitter-sweet liquid from it. Nothing about his expression mentioned the fact that you two almost did it. "What are you staring at, m'lady? It's you who told me to stop, remember? And you've got work to do anyway. Get into it, for me." He ordered with a smug grin not long before he walked to his office, ready to let you prepare for this whole day all by yourself. You were the housemaker afterall, not him. And you have to make sure your man is  pleased, it's your job.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"God Lord, Y/n...I've never eaten such a food in my life. That ham, and the mashed potatoes. Don't even get me started on the casserole, somehow you made me love green beans, princess. You're one hell of a cook, know I'm keeping you forever." There was simply no way to stop his praises. Damn well you knew you deserved them, you worked you ass off. The dishes you prepared were strange to you, yet familiar after each smile he gave you when he took the first bite. Seeing him fulfilled was all you needed.

"Thank you so much, Coryo. I made sure to prepare the best dinner I could manage, and as I see it payed off quite well, didn't it?" A warm smile filled your cheeks. He coudln't resist to reach his hand to your face, fingers delicately stroking your flushed skin. "Are you so red just for me, princess? You're such a pretty little sweet thing." 

Kisses splanded all over your lips, washing you over with passion. His brain got foggy just from the pureness of you, the redness of your skin each second. Because as they passed, he kept pulling you closer and closer, until no forces could ever possibly seperate you. His arms held you, shield from blood and flesh, the good feeling of being protected and elogiezed by a man. You gave in. No one could ever have you as much as he did, you sure know that.

Rough lips bruised your neck, leaving tumescent spots for you to admire tomorrow. Long way along your collarbone, shoulders. You were becoming his each moment, the world belonged to you two and he rulled every way that Earth dared to orbit for you. 

Part of the sky crashed when he rougly pushed you against the kitchen table. Your chin met a set of ceramic bowls fillled with food. Few glasses, wine and regular ones slipped when you pulled at the fancy cloth, what was shiny got poured over with all sorts of things. The great scent of food turned into a gross mess when a pot ringed as it hit the floor. Soup was flooding all over the dining room and you wanted to cry. No, you wanted to grab your shit-ass boyfriend by his shirt and choke him to death for daring to ruin hours of your hard work.

The sound of him rolling his eyes filled the room. "You're gonna clean that later, now be pretty and good for me. You know you can, darling." He massaged your ass under that mini skirt he made you wear. Big manly hand squeezed you until you felt incredibly helpless and small. He enjoyed he could boss you around, do anything to your tired body, play with you however he wanted to. And so he did. 

"Let me get you dolled up." From his pocket he pulled a thin fabric, wasting no time he began twisting it around your thighs, legs, butt even. It was a red ribbon, you didn't even process when he layed it over your wet pussy. 

"W-what's that for?" You couldn't understand. "Just...preparing a gift for myself, so fucking soft and all mine." He dropped right to his knees, as he pushed his face in between your butt cheeks. digging deep in he made a way across your pussy with his tongue. Somehow he was on you, in you. Digging into you, and you could feel heat all over yourself. His nails kept you in your place as he ate you out. Seeming like a starved man, he couldn't just get enough of his future wife. You were even more pressed against the table than before, nothing to muffle your moans against. Whispers echoed throughout the whole room, his pride and ego expanding with each sound.

"C-coryo..." You whimpered audibly. Closing your eyes so hard, shutting them in pleasure thinking they might not even ever open again. You couldn't stop grasping at the cloth, not until his face switched to two long fingers. He stood up and with one arm pinned you against himself, with other he got lost inside of you deep. "Shhh... princess, my pretty girl. You better get that pussy stretched out good, before I fuck you hm? Be good and let me  prepare you for me, mkay?" Despite your body shaking you nodded to his words. You could hear him purr. "That's my girl."

More minutes passed, you felt already fucked out. Brain soggy and legs trembling, all wet from how much he overstimulated you. When he pulled out, he braught his hand to your face. "Taste yourself, love. Go on." With your tongue you licked all the silky substance off. Each lick drawn made his pants tighten even more. His dick was begging to be touched, to be taken care of. 

Even if it embarassed you all too well, his will to be in charge and the bigger one just took over you. "Master, please... I... need you. S-so bad..." you whispered. Hot breath brushed around your neck. "Oh, I know you do, my princess." He unziped his pants. "You're always such a fuck-doll for me, sweetie." His dick slid out is boxers, standing in pride and arousal. "Want your master to fuck you pretty now?" He already teased your clit by fucking into the space between your thighs and pussy. "Mhm.." You whimpered. "Oh, but honey you know I need words. Tell me what you want and consider it done. Hm?" You sighed and breathed out all your self-respect into the heavy air with the  words: "Yes, please fuck me, master. Deep and hard, I can take it all for you."

"Such a good girl," He whispered as his cock slipped right into you. Precum softened the first thrust, but the ones following braught your face to red. He couldn't help but smack at your bare flesh, like fucking you wide opened wasn't enough. Like he needed to feel you all around, in his hands, in his whole power. And fuck it, let's be honest, you liked that. Each firm thrust that just felt like a crack into your body, every hit, every moan that vocalized from his mouth, his thumb massaging your tiny clit. Surrounded by torturing pleasure, you let him make this the most unforgettable Christmas of all your lives.

[dre6m1ng]

— Rewind. . . ★

ᵃ ᶜʰʳⁱˢ ˢᵗᵘʳⁿ ᵒⁿᵉˢʰᵒᵗ

─── ❝ so pretty, girl, you belong in a gallery ❞

★ ⋮ IN WHICH. . . y/n is at a party with chris. they both find themselves drunk and slurring things to each other back and forth that they will never catch themselves saying sober.

★ ⋮ PAIRING. . . drunk!chris x drunk!reader

★ ⋮ CONTAINS. . . use of y/n, alcohol, drinking, drunk characters, making out, pet names, hard partying,

❝you have no idea what you’re doing to me, y/n.❞

❝why don’t you tell me while my lips are on yours?❞

★ — ❝shot! shot! shot!❞ the voices of many that attended the party shouting. you had just cranked a shot but 4 more still sat out in front of you. trying to keep a straight face over the taste and way the alcohol goes down your throat burning a little.

shot after shot you made it to the last one downing it with ease picking the lime up and taking a bit slamming it on the table. putting your hands up you cheer yourself on as the others go crazy.

you’re suddenly turned around by your wrist. leaving you to look into the eyes of the person you have secretly been waiting to see. wrapping your arms around him. the boy you were secretly in love with. but again hes your best friend. ❝you made it!!!❞

❝i wouldn’t miss seeing you for the world.❞ chris replies wrapping his arms around you as well pulling you into a tight embrace. you both were some what flirty with each other but it was all just compliments. they never actually thought about dating.

his blue eyes glare in yours, the music and light all disappearing as all your focus is on those two pairs of ocean eyes staring into yours. it took strength to not pull him into a heated passionate kiss. his lips look soft and you know they are, you push those thoughts away as the sudden thought of him being your best friend and nothing more.

❝what are you thinking about?❞ he smiles, his white teeth brighten. his hand finds its way to your waist.

oh god. in this moment you were shitting your pants. the thought of answering gives her a headache. lie? that’s wrong. truth? even worse. not answer? rude. as if that wasn’t already all bad his other hand is now around your waist. he’s teasing her, or is she just delusional?

❝y/n?❞ he snaps you back to reality and away from your thoughts.

❝I’m sorry what did you say?❞ you reply, knowing with all your heart what he said. you hide away your expression putting a whole new one on your face.

he chuckles looking into yours eyes that gleamed with lust, shit your making this way to obvious . ❝i just ask-❞

❝you two aren’t drunk?❞ a random voice cuts him off, a voice they swear they had never heard before in their life. ❝aye it’s alright. luckily i got some drinks.❞ he places two freshly cold beers on the counter.

who was this guy? and why is he ruining the moment between chris and you? or was he making it better?

❝drink up chicos.❞ he slurs, his eyes trying its best to stay open.

❝who was that?❞ chris eyes followed him as he walked into the huge crowd. darting back to you, who had already opened the can of beer.

looking up at him, ❝huh?❞ you take a sip, swallowing. ❝oh i don’t know but he gave us free drinks sooo…❞

he chuckles at your words picking up the other can, cracking it open before it hits his mouth.

the night goes on, drink after drink after drink. realizing you and chris are wasted and completely fucked. slurring words to each other, struggling to stand straight, and laughing at the stupidest things known to man.

after some time of dancing and more partying. you notice how chris’s hands have never left you. he’s never this touchy. moving from your neck to shoulders to waist to hips even touching your boob area.

his hands wrapped around your waist as he stands behind you. head on your shoulder he whispers, ❝do you know how bad i want you?❞

you were drunk, but you didn’t need to be sober to know that this indeed not the christopher you know.

wet noises fill your ears as he places wet, soft, kisses on your neck. your phone in your hand starts recording as you hit play to record a cute video of him. ❝what are you doing?❞ you say. you were to drunk to even process what was going through his head.

you would be lying if you say you didn’t enjoy this though. his tongue moving around your bare skin.

❝you have no idea what you’re doing to me y/n.❞ he says against your skin, as it vibrates through your body send multiple chills down your spine.

❝why don’t you tell me while my lips are on yours?❞ you tease him.

his eyes instantly light up lifting his head up. ❝are you being serious?❞ he turns you around by the waist. ❝because ill devour that mouth.❞

speechless at his words, you’re eyes drift to his soft pink lips. not even 2 seconds later your lips are on his. instantly parting your lips his tongue slides into your mouth fight with yours.

❝fuck you taste so good.❞ he says, against your lips pulling away just to instantly place his lips back on yours.

those five words were enough to turn you on. ❝chris..❞

❝hm?❞ he separates from you, looking you in the eyes. ❝what is it, princess? wanna have sex with me?❞

❝i mean that wasn’t what i was trying to ask but maybe i do…❞ you reply.

smirking, he grabs your wrist pulling you away from the massive crowd of drunk humans dragging you into an anonymous bedroom. shutting the door behind and twisting the lock, before pinning you against the wall.

❝you’re all mine tonight gorgeous.❞ pulling his shirt over his head crashing his lips on yours.

next thing you know you’re awake in a bed that’s for sure not yours. the sun hitting your eyes and tightness in your head from the hangover. rubbing your eyes til you are fully awake seeing him. next to you. in the bed. naked. looking down at yourself only to see yourself stripped. shaking him to get him to wake up.

❝hm? what?❞ he groans, thinking it was one of his brothers. blinking a few times to see clearly, feeling the head pain coming in strong. he looks up and sees you.

❝what are you doing sleeping with me… naked??!❞

looking down at his exposed body, he panics at what might of happened last night. ❝holy shit.❞

you look over at him again, seeing him staring at your boobs. ❝christopher!❞ you cover yourself with the covers.

❝im sorry! im sorry!❞ he was not sorry.

cuffing your head in your hands, you pick up your phone as it was straight on the photo app. seeing a video you don’t remember at all. you click play.

❝you have no idea what you’re doing to me y/n.❞

❝why don’t you tell me while my lips are on yours?❞

your eyes widen as the words leave your guy’s mouth before they touch. ❝there’s no fucking way…❞

chris sits straight up closer to her to see the video more clearly.

❝rewind.❞

you do as he says replaying the video of you guys making drunk love for each other. that one quote everyone says comes to your mind. a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

did christopher owen sturniolo have something for you?..

★ ⋮ AUTHORS!NOTE. . . IM AWARE THAT THIS IS VERY SHORTT but whateves thanks for reading cutie mwa more coming soon. AUGHHH more chris content coming for my horny chris girls pit thereeeeee

[heehoonieluvs]

Please look at me

Sunghoon x reader

Fluff, angst

The way that the members are depicted in this story has nothing to do with how they really are or how I feel they are. It is all solely for the storyline so please bear that in mind 🫶

Summary: After realising how wrong he had been about your intentions, Sunghoon had been trying so hard to get you alone to have a talk and make it up to you. But the difficulty in expressing his feelings into words made things a bit more difficult

F/N = female name

Warnings: cursing, arguing, name calling, alcohol consumption (please let me know if I need to add more

Series masterlist

Masterlist

*Flashback*

The boys had just finished their team meet up during lunch but Sunghoon took his time in the shower whilst the rest of the boys rushed to the library to find a nice booth. As he exited the changing rooms, he was instantly met with an irritating voice

“Hoonie! There you are!” F/N’s squeal rang through the whole corridor, causing Sunghoon to roll his eyes as he turned towards her.

“What do you want F/N? I’ve told you to stop calling me that stupid name” his face was so cold towards her that it shocked the other students when F/N carried on with her antics

“Don’t he silly Hoonie it’s so cute. I was just wondering if you’re free anytime soon to go clothes shopping with me for my birthday party?”

“Look F/N, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. I’m not interested. Leave me alone and go bother someone else” he snapped

“What’s wrong with you Hoonie? Is it that skank Y/N? She’s fucked with your mind so she can have you all to yourself hasn’t she?” Her eyes narrowed as the harsh words spilled out of her mouth

Sunghoon didn’t know why but the way F/N spoke about you really pissed him off. The thought of anyone calling you such disgusting names caused him to clench his fists

“Don’t you even dare call Y/N that. She’s nothing like you so don’t try and drag her down to your level” he didn’t know what came over him as he came to your defence. He usually would give a shit, never mind speak up when anyone talked about someone who wasn’t his family or group of friends

F/N’s eyes widened and the students around them gasped at his outburst. This was the first time they had seen Sunghoon show any sort of reaction to anything

“Oh my god. You like her don’t you?” F/N scoffed

Sunghoon couldn’t think of anything to say to her. Did he like you? Your smile was enough to brighten his dull day. The way you took the time to cook for him and his friends and even spend more money to make sure that they were fed properly gave him butterflies. And after seeing you look so adorable whilst watching him at rugby practice made his heart race more than it already was from running.

F/N took his silence as confirmation and couldn’t stand it

“Well just so you know, Y/N is a two-faced bitch. I overheard her talking to someone in her class saying that she wanted to gain your attention by being all nice and sweet to you and your friends so that she could sleep with you. And the other day when I went to ask Sunoo where you were, she was so horrible to me and even raised her hand to slap me. She was so crazy that even Sunoo had to step in to stop her but she said that I was just trying to steal you away from her.” She took a breath dramatically before carrying on

“I know I should’ve told you before but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. However you deserve to know the truth. The other day, she was asking Sunoo so many questions about what you liked and your ideal type. But then she threatened Sunoo to not tell you about what happened when he refused to say anything. He’s too scared to burn his bridges with her since her parents have connections to the school and could easily make his life hell. So he does all of this for her so that she won’t ruin his future. I care about you. And your friends. I’m here for you Hoonie”

She reach up to cup his face but he flinched back

“I need time to think” he mumbled before turning to make his way to the library

*Present*

The next day at lunch felt extremely intense. Sunghoon had confessed to the boys about him snapping at you and explained how F/N’s words had fucked with his mind to the point where he just spewed a load of a load of bullshit to take it out on you. The boys couldn’t come up with the words to say as he was explaining everything. His eyes were downcast as he could feel the burning glare from Sunoo piercing through his skull

“You shouldn’t be explaining this to us. Tell it to Y/N and apologise for not only talking to her that way, but for breaking her heart. She never mentioned anything about liking you but I could tell that she did. And I know you like her too. So how could you be so stupid for believing that bitch F/N when you know her history of trying to suck up to you? Did you really think that Y/N was capable to be so heartless and threaten me? I’ve told you from the start about how much we care about each other and in all honesty, I’m hurt that you also believed F/N’s words over mine” Sunoo couldn’t hold back his tears before getting up and leaving the table to find you

“Sunoo I’m s-” Sunghoon’s words were cut off as Heeseung’s hand patted his shoulder

“Hey just let him cool off ok. I’m sure that once you’ve all gathered your thoughts, you can have a talk with him and Y/N and things can get better” Heeseung’s comforting words caused him to break down and bring his hands to his face

“What do I do hyung? I fucked up so badly and I don’t know how to make it up to Y/N” he sobbed

The boys felt so bad for their crying friend as they knew how hard it was for him to express his emotions. So seeing him break down like this in the cafeteria showed them just how guilty he was.

“Don’t worry Sunghoon hyung. We’re here for you all and we promise we’ll help you through it all”

Sunghoon sniffled and brushed his tears away “I really appreciate it Jungwonnie”

He was going to make it up to you. He needed to.

The next day

It was so hard for you to avoid the boys yesterday but you were scared that Sunghoon had told them all of the lies that he had accused you of and no longer wanted to be around you. Your heart ached seeing them in the cafeteria together so you quickly left and ate your lunch outside on your own. You were scared to think that Sunoo may have believed that you were using him but that thought was quickly diminished when he ran up to you with tears streaming down his face. You told him about F/N confronting you and he asked why you didn’t come to him for back up and that he would’ve been there when you needed him.

It was safe to say that the two of you were bawling your eyes out and as a result, you both came into class today with puffy eyes. You guys did have a bit of a laugh after seeing each other’s swollen faces so that was at least something that brightened your day a bit

“Um Y/Nie, I know things are a bit weird at the moment but do you think you’ll sit with us at lunch today? We all missed you and the whole vibe was miserable” he pouted, puffing his cheeks out slightly

You couldn’t resist yourself and poked his cheeks before sighing “I don’t know Sunoo. I think I still need some time away. This isn’t me trying to end my friendship with the boys because I’d never do that, but it would be wrong for me to stay around and make it feel like you guys had to choose a side. I’ll just go to my usual spot so if you ever want to join me, then feel free to do so”

He gave you a pitiful smile at your words. Seeing you so upset and feeling like you’re at fault shattered his heart. But he knew not to push anything and that you needed time

“I understand Y/Nie. But I’ll still come to eat with you though. You don’t chew with your mouth open so I’ll be able to eat in peace and quiet”

You laughed at his words, feeling thankful that he still stuck by you and put a smile on your face

A week later

The breeze felt so refreshing as it brushed through your hair. Being outside in the sun made you feel so relaxed and you really needed it.

Your exams were coming up soon and because you had been pulling all nighters to fit in more studying, you had been forgetting to bring lunch. There was barely enough time for you to run out of the house with breakfast so making lunch at this point was a luxury

You had finally gotten back to talking to the boys (except for one obvious person) and it was like nothing changed. Well, except for the fact that you didn’t eat lunch with them anymore. It was nice to have your breaks outside so it wasn’t like you were complaining. You just missed having fun with them during lunch

Fortunately, the boys acted like nothing changed and didn’t make things awkward. It made you feel better that you hadn’t caused a rift between the boys, especially between Sunoo and Sunghoon. Sunoo was definitely still upset but he hardly brought it up so that you wouldn’t get upset.

Since you didn’t have any lunch or money on you, you resorted to having a little sketch in your notebook. You were completely immersed in your sketching that you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching you.

The person coughed slightly to gain your attention and when you looked up, you were met with a shy looking Sunghoon. His eyes kept on flickering between the floor and your eyes before he reached out to you, holding your favourite sandwich.

“Um. I noticed that you didn’t turn up to lunch and Sunoo told me where you were. I saw you didn’t have any food so I got you this” he mumbled while avoiding eye contact with you

Shocked was one way to describe how you were feeling. His change of demeanour was giving you whiplash and you didn’t know how to react. Did he think that this was a way to get you to move on from what happened the last time you spoke?

You looked at the sandwich in his hands before scoffing “What is this about Sunghoon? Are you really going to act like the last time we spoke, you didn’t accuse me of using your friends and called me a slut? Do I look like I have the word ‘idiot’ written on my forehead?”

“No! No I swear that’s not my intention! Look, I am an absolute idiot for what I did and there’s nothing that can take back what I said. If I could, I really would. I do not deserve your forgiveness at all, especially after the way I treated you but I cannot express how sorry I am and I had no right to talk to you the way I did. If you don’t want to forgive me, I completely understand but could you please at least eat this to get some energy? I’m really worried about you Y/N and want you to be safe” his hands were practically shaking and he was stumbling over his words.

He had planned how he was going to apologise, but after seeing your beautiful face again after what he felt like ages, it all flew out of the window.

“Sunghoon I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve here. We weren’t friends and we’re not now so I don’t know why you’re so concerned about me. I appreciate you apologising but I just can’t accept this. You really broke me Sunghoon. Please just leave me alone” and with that you stood up and walked away, leaving Sunghoon with the sandwich forgotten in his hands

Over the next few days, you had arrived to your seat in your lectures to be met with cute but messy bento boxes. They’d be filled with your favourite foods and snacks in the shape of cute animals (you think) and a banana milk. You asked Sunoo if he knew anything about it but he just shrugged with a smirk and that was enough to tell you who they had come from. Each box was accompanied by a little note either saying words of encouragement, telling you how sorry he was, how beautiful you were, you name it. But your favourite ones were the notes that had a song recommendation for the day

The songs ranged from sweet apology songs to cute upbeat songs. Today, the song that he chose was ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ by Savage Garden. You smiled and put in your earphones to listen to the song.

The beautiful melody filled your ears with warmth and you closed your eyes. You took the time to really listen to the lyrics and froze. Is this song meant to be him hinting something to you? Was this him trying to confess that he had feelings for you? He never said anything to suggest that he did except for when he’d recommended a song. You didn’t want to overthink it though as you didn’t want it to result in disappointment.

You picked off the note stuck on the bento box to put it in your pocket, which had become a habit now, but you saw that there was another note on the other side reading:

Please meet me in the school gym at lunch when you’ve finished eating pretty girl x

P.S I hope you like the penguins 💕

(Reference pic)

You were contemplating about whether to go or not but he had been taking care of you for the past few days, so you owe him some time.

Skip to lunch

You told Sunoo that he didn’t need to wait for you and you were transparent about what Sunghoon had wrote. He didn’t seem that shocked so you suspected that he knew what was going on. One thing you must say, Sunghoon’s food always tasted good. They may have looked a bit sloppy at the beginning but each day, they got cuter. You let out a sigh after filling up with the delicious and packed your things up to head to the gym.

When you arrived, you poked your head through the door and saw Sunghoon sitting on a bench, bouncing his legs. At the sound of the gym door opening, his head swung in your direction and he quickly stood up and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants.

“Hey” he said with a nervous smile. It was so cute seeing him like this since you’ve been so used to him being emotionless.

“Hi, so what did you you call me here for?” You didn’t want to sound too harsh despite the things he said to you in the past.

“Well… um… I- I was wondering if you liked the packed lunches I made for you? I know they don’t look that great but I thought they would make you happy” he stuttered as his eyes flicked between you and the ground.

“Yeah I love them, thank you Sunghoon. You really didn’t have to do any of this for me you know?”

“B- but I do though. You took care of me and the guys so I need to return the favour. And you haven’t been looking after yourself so I want you to eat well”

“Well I really appreciate it Sunghoon” you looked at him with a soft smile and Sunghoon felt like his stomach was doing somersaults. It had been a while since he had seen your beautiful smile directed to him. He missed it after only receiving cold stares from you

“I also wanted to let you know that I’m so sorry for everything. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you from the start. Especially that horrible day outside of the library. I need to be completely honest with you Y/N. I have feelings for you and I know it sounds crazy because it’s so soon. But you consume my mind 24/7 and I just feel the need to be around you all of the time. Yes I was stupid for being a complete asshole but after I expressed everything to the guys, it’s made me realise that I like you. More than just a friend. Being away from you was the most pain I’ve ever felt and I just couldn’t comprehend the feelings I had. The way I handled the situation was completely immature of me but I’ve figured out my true feelings. You don’t have to say anything but I just really need you to know that I’ve caught feelings for you and I’m so sorry about disrespecting you out of immaturity” he felt like he couldn’t breathe after he spilt the words out. But the weight of his hidden feelings was finally lifted off his shoulders.

As for you? You were frozen in shock. So it was true that the song he recommended today was to confess to you.

“You like me? Since when? I’m sorry I’m just, my mind’s just frazzled right now” you were still trying to comprehend everything that he said

“Yes I really do like you Y/N. In all honesty, I don’t know when it started. But the more you were around, the more I felt like I could warm up to you. You’re so beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about you. Please believe me when I say that I never would’ve thought about talking to you in such a shit way if F/N never approached me in the first place. I know that sounds like such a pathetic excuse and that’s not me trying to excuse my behaviour. But I didn’t think of you in that way, nor do I do now. The first time meeting you I was hesitant, I do admit, but F/N just brought back horrible memories of people using my friends and hurting them in the past”

“Wait. What does F/N have anything to do with this?” You asked with confusion

From that, Sunghoon explained everything about what F/N had told him. He felt embarrassed that he fell for her lies so easily and he could tell that you were feeling overwhelmed

“I get that I’m stupid for even believing F/N in the first place. You are the first girl who has made me feel genuinely wanted just for being me. Not just because of my looks or popularity. The feeling was so foreign that I had no idea how to process it. There have been girls in the past who lured me into being interested in them, just to use me. So hearing that you were trying to do the same just made me go on the defence immediately to protect myself and my friends again”

You felt pity on the boy as his eyes fell to the ground again. It must’ve been hard for him having to experience people not truly caring about him and not knowing who to actually trust. And he didn’t exactly know you as well as someone like Sunoo would so you didn’t blame him for being conscious about you.

“I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience than Sunghoon. I really don’t hold anything against you for being hesitant when I started to hang out with you guys. And yes what you did was a proper dickhead move. But in a way, if I was already overwhelmed about my feelings about someone and another person told me that I was being used, I’d probably feel the same. I’m just hurt because F/N came up to me at the start of lunch that day to tell me that you just pitied me and used me for entertainment. So when you then later called me pathetic and a slut, it made me believe that F/N had been telling me the truth. As for me trying to slap her, it was actually the opposite way round. She came up to Sunoo, trying to find you but I ended up getting involved and she tried to slap me. Speaking of, I really do need to apologise to you for slapping you that day. It was really low of me and I shouldn’t of resorted to violence” at this point, you were in tears as you explained your side to him. Saying it all out loud just built up the confusing emotions till they pushed the need for you to cry it out

Seeing how hurt you were, Sunghoon instantly pulled you into a massive bear hug. You were already hurt from what F/N had said to you and he just had to add fuel to the fire. Seeing you so upset crushed his soul so he tilted your face up and wiped your tears away. He cupped your cheeks and used his thumbs to brush away the stray tears, causing your face to unintentionally pout.

Sunghoon’s heart started to race at the adorable sight of you. Your round watery eyes, puffy cheeks and irresistible pout made you look like a kicked puppy and he felt the urge to keep you for himself only

“Oh sweetheart. Don’t ever apologise to me. I don’t deserve it. And the things that F/N said to you are completely untrue. From what it seems, she spoke to you before coming to me to stir things between us. She caught on that I like you and started talking shit” he leaned his forehead onto yours and took a deep inhale through his nostrils

“I have a feeling that you’re right. She knew that I liked you too so she probably saw it as some kind of threat”

Sunghoon’s ears perked up at your comment and slightly pulled away to look at you properly “Liked? Do you not like me anymore? I really ruined it didn’t I?” He mumbled as his bottom lip popped out. It was slightly trembling at the thought that he had officially lost his chance with you

“No! Wait I mean yes? Wait, I- I’m just confused with how I’m feeling right now. I still like you Sunghoon despite what had happened. It’s kind of hard to lose feelings after you make me food and look so cute” you teased

He was definitely shocked but quickly tried to hide it to seem collected. So he smugly responded “Huh? So you think I’m cute? What can I say, I’m absolutely irresistible”

You scoffed with a subtle smile and pushed him away but he whined and pulled you back in

“No don’t push me away! I’m sorry pretty girl” he pushed your head into the crook of his head so he could rest his cheek on the crown on your head and rocked you side to side. He wanted to make the most out of this moment now that you were completely in his arms. He took a deep breath before deciding that he needed to do something before he loses his opportunity

“I know this might be too soon, but I really want to give us a try. I genuinely like you and want to be able to get to know you. You don’t need to agree and I would not blame you at all” he couldn’t bring himself to look at you as he confessed so he carried on rocking you. But he was mostly doing it to calm his nerves

You were completely silent and it made him tense up. He thought that this would be when you push him away and leave him heartbroken but you quietly said

“Ok let’s try. But just so you know, you’re not completely off the hook though. I still need to process everything but if we can take this slow, I’d love to give us a chance”

You looked up at him and he instantly got deja vu from the time you looked at him during practice.

“Of course! We can take it as slow as you want pretty girl. Thank you for giving me the chance” he was smiling so wide that you just stared at his gorgeous face in awe. He looked at your love-struck face and tucked your hair behind your ears

“You can’t get enough of this handsome face can you”

“Actually I take everything back”

“Wait no!”

Time skip

Sunghoon all but stormed through the corridors the next day after first second period. He zipped past the terrified students till he found the person he was looking for

“What is your deal F/N? I didn’t think you’d be even more ridiculous after what you’ve done in the past but you’ve proved me wrong” he spat

The burning gaze made F/N gulp in fear. She was currently on her own so she had no back up from her little followers

“Hoonie where is this coming from? I promise I’ve done nothing wrong”

“Oh give me a break F/N I know that you’ve been lying to Y/N and me. How bored must you be to try and pit people against each other just because you’re so miserable. Did you really think that pulling this shit would make me like you?”

F/N teared up now that she had been caught in the act. She didn’t want to admit that there was no way that Sunghoon would like her back. She desperately grabbed onto his arms as she looked at him with crazy eyes

“No it’s not true! Hoonie I didn’t do anything! Y/N is lying to you! She’s a crazy bitch that need to be taken away. I love you Hoonie and wouldn’t never lie to you”

He shoved her hands away in disgust “Cut the bullshit. I see through your stupid act. What goes through your head to think that what you’re doing is ok? Why are you making up these ridiculous lies for?”

F/N just looked at him in defeat. She knew now that there was no point in hiding it anymore “Hoonie, I have loved you for so long. I just wanted you to look at me, to give me attention. And you never once spared me the time of day. All I want is for you to like me the way I like you but you never did. Now all of a sudden, Y/N saunters in acting all innocent and she steals you away from me. She didn’t do shit and didn’t even like you. But once she started to catch feelings, suddenly you like her too. Do you blame me for being jealous when I’ve had to watch you fawn over some new girl you basically just met?”

“I’m sorry F/N but you can’t just force me to like you. I’ve fallen for Y/N because of how genuine and selfless she is. And in all honesty, I cannot say that about you. Don’t forget that you tried to use Jay and Jake to get to me as well so you can’t try to accuse Y/N of doing the same with Sunoo. I was a complete fool for believing what you had said” he shook his head and chuckled at how ridiculous his past self was

“If it is true that you actually like me, then I’m sorry that I didn’t and will not return your feelings. But I’m asking you now to please leave me, Y/N and my friends alone. They don’t deserve to be dragged into this and now I’m taking on the responsibility to protect them from getting hurt. You will find someone one day F/N and that person is most certainly not me”

F/N sighed in acceptance. She was in tears but this was the wake up call she needed to confirm his true feelings about her

“You’re right Hoonie. And I’m sorry. But before I do all of this, can you please to do something for me? I promise that if you do, I will leave you all alone.”

Sunghoon sighed. He was slightly hesitant but if it meant that she’d leave you alone, he’ll do anything

“I guess so. What do you want me to do?”

“Well, my birthday party is coming up soon and I want you stay by me. Just for that night”

“You know what? Fine. But only if I get to bring Y/N and the guys”

F/N looked defeated but was still satisfied that he’d at least come for her birthday

After exams finished

It took a lot of begging and pouting from Sunghoon’s end to get you to go to F/N’s birthday party with him and the boys. To tell the truth, you were already convinced to go but what’s the harm in milking it so you could see him act cute for a bit longer?

You were deciding what to wear since you barely owned any sort of clothing that was suitable for partying. Luckily for you, one of your friends was generous to let you try on a few of hers. You ultimately decided to go for a black mini dress as it hugged your figure perfectly. It was nothing like what you’d usually dress but you felt a wave of confidence just thinking about how Sunghoon could react to seeing you.

After you finished up your hair and makeup, you sprayed on your favourite perfume just as the doorbell rang. You opened it up and was met with Sunghoon in all of his glory. The two of you stood in silence as you took the sight of each other in.

“Oh wow. You look absolutely gorgeous. I mean, not like you’re not gorgeous all of the time” he gulped audibly as he looked you up and down

You giggled at his cute behaviour “Thank you! And you look as handsome as ever”

Your new found confidence stirred something in Sunghoon’s stomach and he was so tempted to just flake on the party and have you to himself. But unfortunately for him, he had a deal that he had to take on

As you walked passed him to get to his car, he caught a whiff of your sweet scent and that’s when he knew that it would be a long night for him

At F/N’s house

The two of you walked into the party with Sunghoon’s hand holding you on your lower back. You received a few drunken stares as you sauntered in but their attention didn’t linger for too long.

He whispered into your ear to reassure you and ask if you were ok. So you turned to him with a smile and told him that you were fine. It didn’t take long for you two to find the rest of the boys. At the moment, Niki and Jungwon were the only sober ones, whilst the rest were sipping on the alcoholic punch. You were all excited that this was the first time you had all partied together so they brought you over to take some shots.

It seemed like you were all good at handling alcohol. Well, except Jake and Heeseung. Niki was filming you all and was in absolute stitches. If he was going to be the only sober one, he was at least gonna have some fun with it. You could tell Sunghoon was feeling a lot looser than he usually was and it was refreshing to see. With that, he was extremely cuddly with you and would whine every time your attention was diverted from him

Jake suggested that you all got up to dance and none of you were going to turn down the offer. You were having the time of your life dancing with your friend’s and lip syncing to your favourite songs. Sunghoon’s arms were wrapped around your waist protectively and you leaned back against his chest. Even though you looked like a goddess, he didn’t appreciate the lingering stares of guys around you. So to make a point that you were his, he leaned down to nuzzle his nose into your neck, where you had sprayed your perfume. The sensation tickled you so you giggled and reached up to run your fingers through his hair.

It definitely looked like the two of you were officially together but you didn’t care about what everyone else was feeling. You all dance together in a mini circle for a few minutes. It was all going well until the fun was rudely disrupted

“Hey Hoonie, you made it!” F/N voice came from behind you

You couldn’t lie, she looked breathtaking. There was no wonder she could get with almost every guy she wanted.

The rest of the boys could also feel the tension from F/N’s presence. Sunghoon told you all about the deal he had made with F/N so they weren’t completely surprised when she approached.

“Oh hey. Thanks for inviting us” Sunghoon felt the need to fill the awkwardness but it was obvious that he wanted F/N to leave him alone

“Don’t be silly Hoonie. You promised you’d be my date for tonight remember?”

“That was not exactly the deal but whatever” he rolled his eyes

She tugged on his sleeves which ended up unwrapping his arms from where they comfortably sat on your waist.

“I’m gonna steal Hoonie away so I can cut my cake bye”

No one could get a word in before she dragged him through the crowd. You all stood there in disbelief but Heeseung approached you and put his arm around your shoulder

“Don’t worry your pretty head Y/Nie. It’ll just be a few hours till we can leave and then we can grab some burgers on the way back to ours” he ruffled your hair softly before you all carried on dancing to distract yourself

For the entire night, F/N was clinging onto Sunghoon’s arm. But you knew that once he fulfilled his side of the deal, she would as well and leave you all alone once and for all. That isn’t to say that it didn’t hurt to see them together as she cut her cake. You didn’t want to admit it but they did look good together. The boys must’ve sensed your discomfort so they stayed with you which calmed you a bit.

From your guesses, F/N had been prancing around and showing off the gorgeous man on her arm the entire night but you were low-key glad they weren’t around you since you didn’t have to watch him with someone else. If it wasn’t for your friends being around you, making you laugh to the point of tears, you were sure that you would be spiralling right now.

“Hey are you alright sweetheart? If you’re worried about Sunghoon it’s ok. He doesn’t want to do this either and I’m 100% sure he wants nothing more than to be with you right now. Just think that after tonight, you won’t have to deal with her again” Jay comforted you despite being drunk himself

You felt slightly nauseous so you excused yourself to go to the toilet. And since Niki was the only sober one, he offered to take you like the gentleman he was.

Despite him being the baby of the group, Niki was extremely attentive when it came to you and it was so endearing. He really treated you like his older sister and he was literally the protective baby brother you didn’t realise you needed. As you both made your way up the stairs, the music started to slightly fade which gave you guys the opportunity to talk.

“You know noona, I’m really happy that you hang out with us. And it’s so nice to see Sunghoon hyung so happy when you’re around. He may seem quite calm but I know that you definitely make him extremely giddy when you do anything. It’s the only time I’ve seem him so whipped for someone and I’m glad that it’s you. We all can acknowledge that what he said to you was fucked, but I can reassure you that he meant none of it and he’s completely serious about making you guys work”

His words made you tear up from how sweet he was. In a way, it felt like he was your baby who was growing up in front of your eyes.

“Oh Niki you’re such a sweetheart. What would I do without you hey?”

“I don’t know but I guess you’d have no one to make you laugh”

The two of you looked at each other in silence for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter as you carried on to the bathroom (F/N has a big house ok 😭)

As you carried on bantering about the boys, the last thing the two of you were expecting was to open the bathroom door and find F/N and Sunghoon making out against the counter

You let out a gasp which made them split apart and Sunghoon was sure that his life had just shattered into a billion pieces. You couldn’t find the words to express the pain you were feeling so you turned to run out of the house with Niki quickly following (of course not before he sent Sunghoon a glare that could’ve sent him to his grave)

Sunghoon couldn’t process anything as he pushed F/N away and ran to chase you with tears running down his face

“Y/N wait! Please!”

Authour’s note: 😁😁😁 well… that happened (please don’t hate me 😭)

Thank you so much for taking this time to read my work and I hope you look forward to more in the future 🩵

Taglist: @tobiosbbyghorl @heerinnie @jiaant11 @leeminhyungletsgetit @woniewonn @lvrcvr @jazlynsthings @nikikids

[lovingherrscher]

Kabedon gone wrong ft BSD Men

Ft: Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nakajima Atsushi, Oda Sakunosuke, Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Warning: crack, fluff, some suggestive contents, a bonus ft 15!Dazai & Chuuya. Fuck off if you're tryna file a complaint on me.

Best with: Uninvited School - Blue Archive OST

Dazai

He knows what this is. Ofc, what do you expect from this man?

Will try that out even when you two are at the ADA. He doesn't give a damn about his co-workers covering Kyouka's eyes.

Might use that to initiate a make out session in the office.

His style is using one hand to trap you as his other lift your chin up so your eyes are locked.

"Uh...Osamu..? What are you doing?"

You knew that moment when you asked Dazai whether he knows what a kabedon is, you fucked up. As by now, you're trapped between the Agency's nearest wall and your beloved Dazai's arm.

His free hand spare no mercy as he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes. If not for the ruckus everyone else is causing in the background, you could've focus more on those brown orbs you adore so much, but alas, this isn't your shared apartment, but the Agency, and well, Kyouka is there too.

Your background was a Kunikida who had broke his who-knows-how-many pen in this week, a Yosano in the back sighing as she was covering innocent Kyouka's eyes. At the same time, the Tanizaki siblings were reacting differently, as Naomi were fangirling over the scene, her "I want you to do that too, dear brother~" didn't went unheard, Tanizaki, on the other hand was flushing as he tries to refuse his little sister. The luckiest thing were probably Atsushi was accompanying Kenji out for a job, while Ranpo was too busy munching on his snacks, though the scene didn't went unnoticed to our great detective.

"Now, what do you say we continue this later, just you and me in our bedroom, hm?"

Dazai whispers in your ears, right before Kunikida strangles the man as he dragged him away, claiming he won't let that bandage-wasting-device ruin the perfect scenery of the office anymore.

Chuuya

He knows what this is, like Dazai. But due to the height (dis)advantage, he may or may not perform this to his lovely s/o.

If you beg him till he deems enough, he may consider giving you what you want, but would be a little different.

He'll use his leg to trapped you instead, so instead of a kabedon we'll have a ashidon. Oops?

Jokes aside, I personally think he'll be using one hand and one leg on both side so you cannot escape.

"Your... wish is my command, princess."

You could've swore you felt him sighing as he press on each syllable. And how did this happen again? It kinda cost you a bottle or two of Chuuya's favorite wine, plus one night with you wearing his favorite lingerie set, which of course, he chose that out for you himself. All of that, just for a fleeting moment of recreating your favorite scene in a certain shoujo manga. Was it all worth it?

But right now, as you, trapped between the ginger and the wall, you felt no regret. It wasn't exactly like how you imagine it would be, as he traps you with a hand on this side, and a leg on the other side, supposedly due to your lover's (dis)advantage of heights. But it's counted, right? This still count as a kabedon, right?!

You could saw his smirk, the one he always did before he beats up the enemies, and that moment you knew you fucked up. Chuuya took his chance while you were still loading and leaned in, his face unbelievable close to yours, "You wouldn't mind if I claim my payment right here, would you?"

Oda

God. This man. Where do I even start?

Like our boi sushi, he won't know what this is until he asked his friend Dazai.

Definitely not Dazai laughing his ass off in the bar while Oda is just like "Oh, i understand now." as if nothing just happened.

Man is a walking pole I tell you so he'd definitely be able to do this without flaws.

His style will be using both hands as he leans close enough to kiss you, leaving no escape, the pressure from this man feel like he's going to eat us-

When you first asked Oda for a kabedon, you honestly didn't think it'll be something like this. He admitted that he didn't know what that is, so at time like this, Oda'd seek help from his best friend. Dazai, was more than happy to assist him in this, so the two spent a whole night at Lupin studying about kabedon, while Ango in the back refuse to add this 'weird' knowledge.

So when the tutoring session end, Oda decided to try his newly acquired skill on you, like you asked for. You, caged in between his hands, your back was against the bedroom wall, the red-ish hue on your cheeks didn't went unnoticed as Oda leans in to steal your lips for a brief moment.

As you would describe, Oda's kiss taste like adulthood, filled with bitterness. The slight taste of caffeine and the harsh, painful taste of cigarettes, mixed with a hue of whiskey, just like him. And you love it, you love the addicting bitterness you can never get enough, and the mafioso loves that sweet, not-so-innocent taste of yours as well.

But worry not, for the night is still young. And who's to say Oda will let you go that easy?

Atsushi

Needs to be persevered.

Too precious for his own good.

He mistook that for a type of rice bowl at first but after Dazai explains what it is (cue the whole ADA holding their laughter in the background) sushiboi almost fainted.

The first time is kinda awkward so you had to show him how it's done.

Kinda backfired on him, poor boy-

"(y/n)..? What are you doing?!"

The white-haired flinched slightly as you cornered him to the nearest wall, hands on both side so he can't run away.

"Showing you how it's done, of course!"

Earlier today, when Dazai was talking about kabedon down the cafe, Atsushi couldn't help but ask what was that. Maybe the tiger's fur has, erm, overgrown in the ear, so that's why he mistook it as a new kind of ricebowl. Dazai was staring for a good while before burst out in laughter, which quickly spread to the Tanizaki siblings, and Yosano, even the infamous detective Ranpo, who was currently enjoying his parfait had to pause a bit so he can join the wagon.

You were running an errand so by the time you came back, everything has ended, but luckily for you, you have Naomi at your back! She told you everything, even that part later on when Dazai had to explain what a kabedon is to Atsushi. So an idea popped up in that small, mischievous head of your. Why not show him how it's done?

And that leads us back to the present as you were cornering Atsushi, the pinkish hue spreaded all over you two's cheeks. Yet what surprised you was that Atsushi decided it's his time to strike back as he leans up and claim your lips. The sudden act made the gears in your head stopped, inevitably, your hands slowly slipping off their positions, so he took that as a chance to grab your wrist and pinned you down the mattress.

"You know, (y/n). I am a man too, and as they said, men are hungry wolves. So why don't you let me have a taste then?"

Fyodor

This man? Yes, he speaks Japanese fluently, even better than a Japanese person even. But when it comes to culture and stuffs he's a complete fool.

Luckily for him, the (beloved) clown is there to assist!

Nikolai gave him a private tutoring session later, he even prepares some documents (shoujo manga) to help his friend understand faster, though I doubt this is needed with his intelligence...

After the tutoring session, he'd achieved the level of a almost-perfect kabedon. With one hand and one leg on both side, his free hand is free to lift your chin, as you were forced to lock eyes with him, he'll take no time but lean in for a quick, chaste kiss that's just enough to make you yearn for more.

When it comes to this foreign language, Fyodor is confident that he doesn't sound one bit like an outsider. But he doesn't pay that much focus to culture and anything else, because to him, language is just an another tool he uses to achieve his utmost goal.

So when you first brought up the topic of a 'kabedon', he had no idea what that is. But Nikolai, who was, coincidentally present at the moment, decided to jump in, "No worries! I'll teach you everything you need, Dos-kun!" before dragging his best friend somewhere else.

And the jester stays true to his words, as he brought out everything you need for a, erm, lesson? From illustration to videos as examples, even a dummy from where ever the hell he keeps it. He has everything he needed, and to make it even more, fancier, as he claimed, Nikolai even took them out from his cloak, just like Dora*mon.

Results? Well, now you can enjoy the feeling of a shoujo manga heroine with your beloved man, as he had mastered the art of kabedon, with one hand on the side, and one leg on the other side, the demon can seize the chance to grab your chin, forcing your eyes to met his violet irises, which you once told him they're like a kind of drugs, since once you've gaze upon them, you could never escape.

As you lost yourself in his eyes, Fyodor had his lips pressed against your in a swift movement, but the moment didn't last long, as the kiss were quick to come and quick to leave as well. But then there comes another chaste kiss, follows by another, leaving you hungry for more.

"I have to admit, I do enjoy your helpless state, myshka. Why don't you show me more?"

15!Dazai + 15!Chuuya

You were going to try this out on them, but it backfired, of course. And now we have an uno reverse card situation. But again, who wouldn't want to be sandwiched between these two?

Who would've knew a small shenanigans of your could lead to such huge consequences? You, trapped between the most powerful duo of Port Mafia, and maybe the whole Yokohama even.

It was when your braincells decided they're gonna take a break for today and let the stupid part do all the work, so as you three were in Dazai's office, you, out of all questions decided to ask them about kabedon. The two young boys exchanged a look before nonchalantly replies in unison,

"No. Care to teach us?"

If it were to be your everyday self, you would've refuse because there is absolutely no way they can't know what it is. Unfortunately, your braincells are on their vacation, and you waltzed right in their hands. So you asked them to stand over the nearest wall, and after struggling for a good while, congratulations, you managed to trapped the two in your arms. Their backs pressed against the wall as your hands rested right by the side of their heads,

"I guess... It looks like this?"

Before you could leave, or could even register what was happening, Dazai and Chuuya had quickly pulled you back. As by now you became the trapped one, Dazai on your right and Chuuya on your left, they tower over your body.

"I think it's our turn now. Don't ya think so?"

Followed by Chuuya's words, a kiss was placed on both side of your cheeks. You couldn't possibly imagine you, being toyed by two younger boys like this. But oh how the table had turned. Dazai, being the faster soon places a kiss on your lips, ignoring the complaints coming from the ginger.

"Now you are mine~"

"Hey! Since when was she yours, you suicidal freak?!"

Chuuya, didn't want to be left behind, suddenly pulls you towards him and claim your lips in a rougher manner comparing to his partner.

When you two parted, Dazai was holding onto you from behind, only now you see him acting like a true child. And Chuuya, who obviously doesn't want to lose, holding you close to him,

"Until you can choose, would you be ours?"

[imperatorcaesaraugustus]

the Ds are Hot. the mind has thoughts. ThoughtD: thoughts on HotD is back again for another week. House of the Dragon season 2 episode 6, here we go

they've added Storms End and Rooks Rest to the opening tapestry, that's nice. i like that

Triarchy mentioned! (for those who did not read F&B, the Triarchy is a union between the free cities of Tyrosh, Lys, and Myr that existed at this time)

man, Aemond sucks. i can't wait for all his plans to fall apart around him

you'd think someone with such mommy issues would be just a little more willing to listen to his mother's opinion

i like the choice of Darklyn as the guy who secretly has Targaryen ancestry. the marriage in question is enough generations back to have been before the conquest, a time when we don't have a very detailed Targaryen family tree, and the Darklyns are close enough to Dragonstone that a marriage back when the Targaryens were just a regional power makes sense

it makes sense that, if they were getting people back for Daemon's visions, they'd get Paddy Constantine

"did you say it" i like that, at least in this one thing, they're leaning into the ambiguity of F&B

oh my god Daemon is loosing his mind

i quite like Alys Rivers as a character

can't believe Seasmoke let this man think he was gonna ride him. what a scamp

and now that the search for dragonriders is stalling, here's Addam and Alyn of Hull!

and now that the search for dragonriders is stalling, here's Ulf the White!

if only Aemond knew what his one and only sex worker was saying about him

YES RHAENYRA SLAP THAT MAN

"it suits you" is it just me or is there, like, a sapphic vibe coming from Mysaria this episode?

damn, Larys really thinks he's smooth. "you need a hand. someone... shrewd" yeah alright my guy

they're still not shy about showing us Aegon's wounds, huh?

Aemond! get away from him! he did nothing wrong did many things wrong but he doesn't deserve this!

love Rhaena talking with little Joff. adorable

that's an enormous burn. how did they not notice that earlier?

it has become very clear now that they are, in fact, giving Nettles' plot line to Rhaena. i am incredibly disappointed by this

Alyn* of Hull is pulling an Egg, shaving his head so his Valyrian hair isn't obvious

Mysaria's plan was... a canoe full of produce? what?

MANY produce canoes??

there is war in the reach. will we see the war in the reach? will we see a certain boy riding his beautiful blue dragon in the war in the reach?

DAERON MENTION

we're learning a lot about Daeron this episode. we would learn even more if we ever got to see him no i will not let this go

and now that the search for dragonriders is stalling, here's Hugh the Hammer!

produce canoe riots

this is the second time this season Helaena has gone into town with her mom and had a horrible time. when will it end?

Mysaria lingering there with the Queen, overlooking the sea. i'm once again sensing sapphic vibes? am i just reading into this?

look Larys I can appreciate you sharing your experience with disability with the permanently injured king but for god's sake man, let him have his painkillers

the path to redemption lies through hallucinations of your dead brother grieving his wife

guys, i don't think Daemon's doing okay

"fine, i'll do it myself" - Seasmoke, on being provided with potential new riders

Mysaria tragic backstory unlocked and, uh, holy fuck

guys am i just imagining these sapphic vibes NO APPARENTLY I WAS NOT IMAGINING. this woman already fucked Daemon and now she's going for Rhaenyra, what a legend

once again, loved this episode, loving this season, see y'all next week

*edited because i cannot for the life of me remember which one is Addam and which one is Alyn (Addam is the dragonrider)

[busyxfangirling]

The second season is honestly becoming increasingly harder to watch because what are they trying to do?

The show is titled Loki but he feels like a side character is his own show, I know many MANY things are happening but literally Loki is not the central figure driving the story.

My expectations were low but I did not know Disney could do this much worse!!!!

What the FUCK was episode 3 with the Miss Minutes thing and weird little Ravonna/Victor attempt???

Marvel is just getting worse and worse with what they're putting out, I want the character or even narrative driven stories back where people were well fleshed out, had consistency and their actions made sense to who there were!!! This feels like just trying to sell shock value because you know you have a base of consumers who will stay to see what happens to their favourite character.

They are absolutely ignoring all the material they have available to them to work with! This Loki has only experienced things till the Avengers movie, there is so much character deep dive they could do! What is the point of giving them their own show and then not talking about them at all??

I'll come to the queer things later cause boy do I have a list for that, but first of all, Loki is not a new character in any capacity??? He has been loved and is arguably the biggest fan favourite since his introduction, the amount of theories about him and what people would like to see is very well known!! Right in front of them is his still unclear feelings in his adoption, about being a Jotun, loosing his family and the complicated relationships with them. I can see they are acknowledging his God of Mischief status a little bit but!! Trickster!! Let us see him be a wild card properly!! Not in the sense of betraying his new TVA family - that's what it is and you can fight me on that- but being chaotic!! Yes, using his magic like with Brad!! SHOW ME HE IS A GOD!!!

The worst thing is how lost everyone feels, like I'm not talking about the whole free will conundrum everyone is going through, that is spectacular! Unfortunately it is not coming across, we literally don't get to hear any of the characters talk about what they think of it. There was the key lime pie moment but no follow up to what that is for Loki? It's just one crisis after another, maybe rehash some of what has already happened, bring back the seriousness of this!! The entire multiverse is at stake but we'll make it look like whimsical wishy-washy stuff??!??!!!

Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING the time travel aspect of it, where it looks like Loki/Mobius are on cute dates. But then make it real, the fucking queerbaiting is ridiculous. The throw-away comment in season one about looking being bi was just that and nothing else. And I'm not saying this cause aww they look cute together! But also cause the development of their relationship has been as such!! They have been very dependent on each other and that's not being addressed at all.

I know there are multiple posts about a possible betrayal and my fear is that they're going to try to use that to basically change everything about the characters again, a lot of OOC based on the fact that oh yeah they're going through an existential crises so it makes sense.

Sylkie made barely any sense to me even apart from the whole selfcest issue- they just imposed a the structure of what a straight relationship should be where there was barely any chemistry. S1 E3 had them as really good chaotic siblings/twins and then adding the romantic tones to that really ruined it. Trying to bring it back, possibly, is just weird cause so far they want very different things. These people just don't align together, stop forcing them to? The fact that they refuse to even talk about that kiss shows that they are keeping it open and not just acknowledging that "hey, we don't want the same things in life and I'm happy for you, you matter a lot to me but a romantic relationship is not happening. Also cause you know, we're the same person, lol."

Sylvie as a character is also very confusing rn, there is honestly no need for her to keep coming back in this way??? I'm going to reserve further opinions because half the season is left but I dont expect anything to really get better.

[flubnuggetpurple]

Dove Cameron’s Alchemical album is so fucking bat coded I feel like a conspiracy theorist.

(This went off the rails at one point, so WARNING: vague mentions of sexual assault and being drugged without consent)

First song: Lethal Woman.

Cass, all over, right? The bridge is “she walks like a saint, floats like an angel, sharp like a knife under the table”

c o m e o n

Second song: Still.

“Man on the screen, they only see whatever you want them to see” and “Supernova self-erasing, hourglass is always draining”

Could be either Tim or Bruce, but I lean toward Tim because of “how dare you, dare me to love you, if you jump I will too” because whenever Tim decides he loves someone, he’s the ride or die, ends of the earth type, even if they don’t even know who he is. A) how and why he became Robin in the first place, B) The Cloning Thing, C) an argument could be made for the Captain Boomerang thing (but now that I think of it, I think I’m mostly basing this off fanon oh well ontotgenextone).

Song Three: Breakfast.

I will admit out the gate that this one’s a reach, so I’m just going to leave Selina here.

Song Four: Sand.

For this I’m thinking Tim or Jason, for different reasons.

For Tim;

“I saw the end when we began, you couldn’t love the way I can, I tried to bargain with the stars, for more than half your heart but you have more pieces of me than the dessert has sand, and I have less pieces of you than I could hold in my hand” and “our love’s misaligned, ‘cause you’re on my mind every night, I stretch out the time, and now I know why.”

I’m just making it obvious I read the Red Robin run, aren’t I?

For Jason:

“What's worse, being wanted but not loved, or loved but not wanted? What's worse, hearing what you wanna hear, or hearing what's honest?” And “What hurts, is the one thing that you wanna do, is the one thing that you shouldn’t do”

Pre-death Jason, but like, right after the Garzonas thing.

Song five: White Glove.

Okay hear me out.

This is part one of the Dick Grayson saga; the persona he shows to the public. This is Richie Wayne. This is every honeypot mission he went on too young, every woman he’s had to seduce for information (it’s one hundred percent happened before don’t fight me) every source of sexual trauma (that one I’m ninety percent sure is canon) that keeps him up at night.

And this guy’s been a vigilante for over twenty years, he can absolutely recognize drugs by sight, smell, and how they feel when he’s too late to notice something slipped in his drink. He’s felt nearly every strain of fear toxin and every one of Ivy’s pollens. If anyone knows their drugs it’s pretty boy Richie Wayne and Robin.

Song six: God’s Game

This one I’m definitely taking some lines out of context, but for Jason, “Just a boy with a man's face, playin' God's game” is when he’s taking over Crime Alley, pit-mad and trigger happy. “I prepare with so much care, I was runnin', it was stunnin', I am desperate from delusions, not much of a solution, never knowin' what the truth is, oh, God” is when hid plans start to fall apart, when Bruce slits his throat with a batarang, when eventually the pit-madness eventually starts to wear off and he realizes what all he did to Tim, who was a child at the time, not to mention Robin.

He nearly became what the Joker was to him to the next Robin, and I feel like at some point that would occur to him.

Song seven: Boyfriend.

(…Admittedly, I don’t think this one has any grounding in canon and if it does, feel free to educate me.)

So, obviously I could mention Kate Kane at this point, but I know basically nothing about her, so instead I’m going to talk about Steph.

So Steph has definitely had some shitty experiences with guys, right? Like, her dad to begin with, but also the guy who got her pregnant (at like fourteen? Maybe I’m just sheltered, but I don’t think anything about that relationship was heathy—again, I haven’t read many of the comics, so correct me if I’m wrong), then Tim, which, I love him as a character, but didn’t he date her in the mask for like, months, and I have some vague recollections of some dickish things he said (i know i know i need to read more comics)—whatever. Men are shitty.

I have a scene in my head. Like, Steph’s in college, at a bar with friends or something, maybe it’s an under cover op, idk, and there’s this girl she’s been lowkey watching all night. She doesn’t quite know why, but she just keeps catching her eye, and okay, it’s not like she’s never questioned her sexuality, she knows Cass. There have been Extensive conversations with Babs on the subject.

Anyway, so at some point, there’s obviously some sort of argument between the girl and the guy she came with and the girl’s crying, and Steph just Can’t Handle That.

She goes up to her, comforts her, makes a new friend, listens to the whole story.

And at some point, she has the thought.

“I could be a better boyfriend than him.”

She doesn’t necessarily do anything about it that night, but now that she’s had the thought, it won’t leave her alone.

Yeah. So. Maybe I’ll write that story later.

Song eight (last song): FRAGILE THINGS.

Dick Grayson part two; So your mentor (dad) just died, leaving you an angry murder child, another one hanging on by a thread after losing eighty percent of his support system, a grieving butler (grandfather), and a mantle the size of the Most Dangerous City in America. Any direction you move is going to hurt someone, and one kid is more likely to snap and murder people than the other, and hey, if you have to be Batman anyway, might as well let your brilliant kid brother be Nightwing, right? Except, whoops, you forgot to mention that last part and now Timmy thinks you just replaced him without telling him and fuck you knew you were forgetting something and now there’s a goddamned imposter Bruce and—

“Love is like a house of fragile things, where hearts can be broken as easy as antiques, and now there’s glass all shattered at my feet, what we built together, you left in smithereens.”

Anyway. This got kind of incoherent (or maybe it was from the start?)

I accidentally added a poll at the bottom and can’t figure out how to remove it, so.

[nightswithkookmin]

Goldie, for God's sake, answer me just this once. Please, like I told you before, I'm not a shipper and i have a reason why but i can't descussion it here. I'm just Jimin Stan.And all I care about is the comfort of this boy who took my mind called Park Jimin. Just a question if Jikook is real. Why do I feel that Jimin is always unhappy? He complains about loneliness and not getting and making friends. Does one live in illusion only and imagines that he is happy while he is always insinuating and complaining about loneliness and gloom? Don't you understand his feelings through his album? Is it logical that this side appears when you are happy with the one you love, or does the one you love not treat you well?Please, I don't want to accuse anyone, but it seems that Jimin has changed a lot since before He became shrunken in himself and shy too much. Where is the bold and flirtatious Jimin? Something must have happened to him. Something last. Did you read the Weverse magazine article about him because it made me cry so much?

Sigh

Ever heard the saying the higher you go the lonelier you become? Dude literally released an album that addresses his struggles with fame and being in the spotlight- as big as Jungkook's dick is and as sharp as his thrusts are- big dick don't cure everything so let's not lay it on him okay?

I don't know if he's become shrunken in himself and shy when Jungkook has been saying for years Jimin is the most shy member of bts he knows. He is extroverted sure but he's quiet demure and graceful elegant and pretty too. Don't confuse is public persona for his actual persona. He's used to performing his extroversion and playing up his daring character for TV.

Jimin the artist is not the same as Park Jimin the brother, son, friend and human others know and that's what he's been saying for years. So if you ask what happened to the old Jimin I'd say FUCK IT HE'S FINALLY FREE BOTTOMS UP

Like he said, raise a glass to the old him- emphasizes on old. He keeps trying to break loose from old habits and behaviors that hold him back and don't serve him. I'd wager one of such habits was keeping up with his public imagine of constantly being a spectacle.

His duality is part of who he is. We should give him room to express and explore himself without attaching vehemently to our single lensed view of him. There's nothing wrong with him.

But I understand your concern. I used to be like this too. for years he had said bulking up and building his body wasn't his thing. I nearly- well who am I kidding, I had an actual melt down when he started working out and building his body again because I thought he was being coerced into doing it again- turns out he just wanted to look ripped in jeans🥴

Dude was tryna get laid and I was out here cussing hybe out for oppressing him💀

I don't know if he's always unhappy when he's only opening up about his struggles which I think is a good thing for him and his fans. For me it helps me understand him more, empathize with him more and grow more closer to him.

Jimin is not the melancholic type.

The shit he deals with is real. I've heard many western artists complain of similar struggles and some of them are happily married with kids. Relationships are not a magic cure for loneliness especially if the feeling of loneliness IS NOT STEMMING FROM LACK OF HUMAN CONNECTION.

Do you actually thing Park jimin is lonely because he lacks intimacy and human connection? Loneliness is a complex issue and many things can lead to a person feeling this way. For me, I think he's inability to be who he really is was his biggest emotional trigger. He lives in a conformist society surrounded by people who constantly expect maturity and discipline from him, with a fan base that will desert him and unstan him if he says the wrong thing, dates the wrong person or make the move. There's no room for mistakes and that can be pretty dehumanizing.

Social expectations can alienate people and I'm afraid jimin is no exception. And in case you aren't aware, life sucks and hits every body including Jimin.

I don't appreciate you demanding my attention in this way. It makes me feel I have to rush my response so if this feels rushed it's on you🙃

[tellthatbrokebitch]

snippet from chapter 5 of the zombie apocalypse au

She holds him gently and murmurs nonsense words into his hair, along with telling him he’s okay and she was so worried and she loves him so much.

And suddenly he realizes that, for all the maudlin thoughts that ran through his head (yesterday? today?) not once did he consider how his mom would feel. It seems like they’ve barely spoken in the past few months since their fight, and the last thing he said to her was something passive-aggressive – words he can’t recall, but the sight of her crestfallen expression burned into his brain. And then he almost left her, chose to leave in a way, without making things right.

“Mom,” he chokes out, as those tears finally well up and spill over, making her hand falter mid-stroke. “I’m sorry. That fight was so stupid. I was just. It was dumb, I just lost my temper and said stuff I didn’t mean-“

Joyce shushes him, pulling back to frame his face with both hands in that same familiar way she does. “Hey, no, sweetie, none of that,” she chides gently. “You don’t need to apologize. You weren’t wrong, Will. Maybe you were a little harsh, but… that’s okay, too. Sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves, and sometimes that means we need to yell.” She tugs the hem of her shirt up and begins to carefully wipe at the tears and snot and god knows what else on his face. “As for your temper…” She smiles ruefully. “I can’t be angry at that. You get that from me.”

“I… not from Dad?”

She shakes her head, a scowl flashing across her face. “Absolutely not. Your dad didn’t get angry, he got mean. And when he did apologize, he never really meant it.” She gives him a warm, gentle smile, and the love in her eyes is unmistakable. “You’re nothing like him, sweetheart.”

“But – the way you look at me sometimes, when I go out on runs – when I have my gun – you really don’t think I’m like him?” The confession comes out rushed and the words are barbed, delivering a thousand tiny cuts as they tumble out of his mouth.

“Oh, Will-“ Her face crumples in on itself with the force of her grief. “Never. I promise you, I have never thought that. You’re a good boy. Will, you’re so sweet and kind, and your heart – you couldn’t be like Lonnie if you tried.”

When she tugs him back into her, he goes willingly, burying his face in her abdomen and letting himself break down, just for a bit. An indeterminate time passes this way. He’s forgotten about the others in the room – hadn’t even looked around to see how many others are in the room – but when he finally pulls back, only El and Jonathan remain. El is leaning against the wall against the door, watching him with overly bright eyes, and Jonathan is sitting Indian-style on the floor by the bed.

This strikes him as odd, and he has to take another look around before he realizes why. “This is Mike’s room,” he says.

“He insisted.” At Will’s blank stare, Jonathan shrugs. “We thought you could use the space.”

Joyce gives his hair one last stroke, then untangles herself from Will. “I’ll go get you some water, honey,” she tells him, kissing the top of his head again before leaving, pausing to press her hand briefly to El’s shoulder and offer her a kind smile. Then she’s gone, and Jonathan hasn’t looked away from Will once.

He hesitates before finally stretching out his hand across the sheet palm up, and Will doesn’t hesitate to reach out. “You really scared me yesterday,” he says, which answers at least one of Will’s questions. “When Erica rushed in to report you’d vanished-“ His voice breaks on the first syllable of the last word and he cuts himself off to take in a shaky breath.

“Jonathan. I’m okay. You don’t need to worry about me.”

Before Jonathan can retort – and he wants to, Will can see it in the tightening of his jaw – the door opens. Claire and Mike walk in. Will doesn’t care if it looks weird to the rest of them, he holds out his free hand and Mike is immediately there, taking the spot by his side that Will is only now realizing wasn’t empty, but reserved. “Sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up,” Mike says, quiet enough that Will has to strain to hear it.

Now that he has Mike back where he belongs, by his side, Will finally feels ready to face this – or as ready as he’ll ever be, at any rate. “It’s okay,” he replies, a beat too late. “Really, you just missed me throwing up and breaking down.”

Mike pretends to be put-out. “Damn, that’s a good look on you.”

“You’re so gross.”

[sanguine-tenshi]

i'm turning this round on you. if you've played bloodborne, then most fuckable five bosses from that. if you haven't, same for a different fromsoft game of your choosing. (feel free to do more than five)

I haven't played Bloodborne, I don't use the peasant boxes. But I did watch a playthrough so I'll go ahead and vote anyway.

First imma go through them all and smash or pass and then I'll tell you my faves. Good? Good. Anywhore!

Amygdala

Pass. Look, usually I'm a slut for multiple arms, can't go wrong with multiple arms. But this thing's head looks like a tick and I cannot get over that.

Blood-starved Beast

Pass. Concept art looks dope as hell and very smashable, but in-game it's giving Slav grandma and Slav grandmas fucking scare me. So a very hard pass.

Celestial Emissary

Pass. It looks like someone's diaper-bound toddler. Like the dumb thing was falling over too much so the parents just wrapped it's head in foam and let it terrorize the local wildlife. It also looks like it's fingers would be that nasty toddler level of sticky. Just no.

Cleric Beast

Smash. It's big. It's scary. It's harry. It's got horns. It looks like it's rotting just a lil bit. It's jaw looks like it's been scrapped raw. What's not to love? The only gripe I have are the weird stubby toes but I can tolerate it, not like I have to look at those things.

Darkbeast Paarl

Smash. It's like bones and hair and electricity. It's about the logistics at the moment but I'm down to figure it out.

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos

Smash. Very eldrich. Very have no clue what I'm looking at. Very I'm into it.

Father Gascoigne

Pass. That's just a grandpa. And not even a hot grandpa.

Gehrman, the First Hunter

Pass. That's just a grandpa. And an ugly grandpa.

Martyr Logarius

Pass. That's just a grandpa. An old and freeze-dried grandpa.

Mergo's Wet Nurse

Smash. Smash so hard. The multiple arms. The wings. The empty hood. The absolute feral creature posture. The way it's tattered and ruined and deadly. Smash.

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare

No.

Moon Presence

Smash. Eldritch. The fucking tentacle hair. The weird skull hole face. The ribs. Look it already has a weird sexually non sexual relationship with the player. I might as well. I might as fucking well.

The One Reborn

Pass. It's just too messy for me. I like the idea of this thing being made of parts, of people, of victims. But the design is just too damn messy. It's all over the place. It doesn't look like it added with purpose, with design, it just added stuff for the sake of adding, for the empty want of MORE. And I'm just not into that.

Rom, the Vacuous Spider

Fuck, no!

Shadow of Yharnam

Pass. These are just dudes in robes. There's nothing all that interesting about them. Not even some sexy armor, or weird gore, or bones sticking out.

Vicar Amelia

Hard smash. It's like Cleric Beast's more elegant sexy cousin. There's horns as well! And I mean I do like the aesthetic of her being so white. She has a nice smile as well, so long with so many pointy teeth.

Witch of Hemwick

Pass. It's just moldy Slav grandmas.

Ludwig, The Accursed

Weak pass. It's just the face I have a problem with here, tbh. It's just leaning too much towards horse, like regular normal horse.

Orphan of Kos

Pass. Just looks like a dude to me. A skinny twitchy white dude who ran out of drugs and that's now everyone's problem. Now... his mom on the other hand... ho boy.

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

Smash. Yes, yes regular looking woman. But listen! She's tall. She's strong. She's a war criminal. She killed a god with a stick. Like I'm down. She can bend me over and I'd be down. I like her style. And she also stabs herself during the fight... kinda hot ngl.

Living Failures

Hard pass. It's like Celestial Emissary's failed cousins, slightly older and worse. Also have you seen their buts!? They've got the saggy frog butts.

I think the fuck not! Look at that thing!

Laurence, The First Vicar

Smash. Like I know he's one of the worst fights in the game and also the fire, but like... the sass. The fucking attitude in this one pose. Love that for him. Also yes, scraggly dog beast man with horns and ribs on the outside. Very smash.

Now as for the rankings... 1. Mergo's Wet Nurse 2. Cleric Beast 3. Vicar Amelia 4. Laurence, The First Vicar 5. Moon Presence 6. Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower 7. Darkbeast Paarl 8. Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos

Now in other news, I've realized that Bloodborne is very much moodboard, but it's a lot less fuckable than I thought.

[annabell505]

The Monster : Jeffrey Dahmer

Part 2

jeffrey dahmer could walk up to his father and honestly confess his sexual orientation.

"Dad, I've always liked men" but that period of history did not suggest tolerance and acceptance, society was only striving for it, moving towards a peaceful existence in small steps.

Jeff's father was homophobic, he, like many people of the time, didn't take gay people seriously, he thought it was something nasty and wrong.

"You will always be dear to me, I will always love you, to me you have always been the best son!" - Maybe those very words would have saved the lives of innocent people, maybe Jeffrey could have counted on a better life, a free life. Not drinking it away every day, not poisoning his hated shell with alcohol.

Without realizing it, Jeff Dahmer absorbed hatred, absorbed every bad word, and by the time he reached a conscious age, he began to think he was sick.

No, it's my heart's way of saying "No!" I fight every time to reach out to people and give them love. No, you weren't sick, you were born that way. You were born special, the way God made you. No, you're not sick if you're gay, you're entitled to love like every other person on the planet.

Hate played a significant role in Dahmer's life, a huge one! 

Hate for skin color, for religion, for sexual orientation, it's all destructive. 

Everyone suffers from this destruction in one way or another.

People have created music, art of all kinds, created fashion shows, so what's stopping us from creating a world where everyone is at peace. 

The psychology of childhood is simple to the point of spitting, in that all children need a parent and their approval.A child may be made fun of at school, but the most important thing is that he or she knows what he or she is worth, what he or she deserves.

Did Jeffrey Dahmer know that?

No way! Shit! 

All he had was a mom who just cried and left him alone. No, I'm a terribly apathetic and sad person myself, but she made the decision to raise a child, and that's different.

Instead of love, the boy got nothing but kicks:

—What? -A Batman costume? No, they're already making fun of you! Pick something better!

Joyce looks at the bunny costume and decides it's better for her son.

I don't care what Jeffrey wants, yeah, because his opinion doesn't mean anything! It's just a kid! 

Joyce sees the bunny costume and asks Jeff to try it on. 

It doesn't seem to fit too badly, and it clearly suits the boy's appearance.

—Let's get him! - Joyce says menacingly and pays the check.

In fact, the suit was small: Jeffrey couldn't move in it, his arms and legs were uncomfortably tight.

In kindergarten, all the kids wore superhero costumes, bright blue capes! A banner on their chests, yellow gloves! Masks! 

One Jeffrey distinguished himself again, and of course was again the cause of ridicule.

Here are the children already surrounding him, laughing at him, someone pulling his tail and ears, while the moms stand aside.

—Why a hare? Didn't the store have something better? -One mom asks Joyce.

—Oh, it's what Jeff wanted, it's what the child wants! -The woman excuses herself and nervously asks Joyce. -The woman excuses herself and laughs nervously into her palm. 

She's lying, because all she has in her head right now is shame, she chose a stupid costume, but she'll never admit it. No.

—God, throw that nonsense away! Throw it away! Take it off and throw it away!

When Joyce and Jeff get home, she immediately goes off on him:

—"What a shame!" the woman yells, pacing the kitchen.

The little boy gets his dose of negativity for the evening for something he didn't do.

Probably, as his parents tell him, he's ruining everything.

You're ruining everything! As usual!

Sometimes I think Jeffrey's life couldn't have turned out any other way.

And it really scares me, because even my life has been filled with horror and scolding.

I saw things that children aren't allowed to see, and I grew up depressed and battered.

And God, I want so badly for attitudes about motherhood to change. 

[certifiedlurker]

This is gonna be long...like really long lol

The thing is idk how much I would be able to enjoy vegaspete by remaining true to myself. So many of those who are in the fandom, whose works I have enjoyed and still enjoy are so blindly dedicated to Build Jakapan, it's absurd. I see these people shifting every blame on Poi for every wrong that Build commits. Like yeah she is shit but she doesn't have to carry the extra load of Build's shit you know? They talk of abuse victims and how incapable Build's critics are of understanding the politics of abuse ( as if none of us, who are from all over the world, dispersed through multiple walks of life, do not have even one victim of abuse amongst us).

Someone literally referenced KP and complained about how no one took a lesson on how victims of abuse can lash out and sjfjmbkl boy was I speechless. Pretty sure confusing reel with real right now is getting into a dangerous territory and even then, every person matters. So in that, if one is so "abused" that he would continue to make extremely mean spirited comments with an undercurrent of homophobia in some texts, then no matter how much of a trauma there is, that person deserves to be called out on abuse they themselves are perpetrating. Another person cannot be a punching bag and if so, there will be a hit back. And this uproar against him is the hit back!

( also the reference to the show was probably to Vegas and if it truly is so, then god save me but I feel faint and I say this as someone who likes the character. Vegas in fiction is one thing, in reality it is another...as we can see. is it something to even spell out?! )

Private texts, private conversations are an exercise in trust. To violate it, is a crime both in literal and in figurative moral sense. And yes these are systematic leaks aimed at not bringing a truth of moral character to light but is linked to a selfish agenda. But I just don't know can these people try to divert the attention on this fact but say nothing on the texts themselves. They say they ae still here? On what basis? On what basis are you all supporting this man? Where is the baseline?

I know they keep on bringing up abuse but let me tell you something. Let me tell you something as someone who at one instance felt bad that Build Jakapan wasn't a part of the very last KP worldtour...before the phone call leaks, or before the proofs surfaced that the claims of rape charges were false, that the pictures Poi posted ( some not all) were manipulated, these people still went on hard about their support for Build. Their only defense? Poi is shitty, a predator so she cannot be abused ( imagine that). Idk what happened between them (poi and build). No one would know what happened between them because they chose to settle...but whatever narrative half of the vegaspete fandom has made up, is somehow a one way street.

Homophobia and victim blaming? Excused as being follies of young and growing up in a conservative country. I am a south Asian. I was 20 once and I know how conservative ideals can affect worldviews. I had been taught very very racist, transphobic and homophobic dictums by my environment and the larger media and even now majority of it is geared to heteronormativity and colourism. But I broke free the moment I had unsupervised internet access and I learnt and I continue to learn (because prejudice instilled so deep would still have roots somewhere in you). I was as old as him, so no, it is not impossible to make a choice to be better even at that age.

True not everyone reacts the same way in similar situations but Build was given a chance. Multiple chances and the fact that he chose to be a part of queer media, and after the first scandal, didn't even care to educate himself in what he did wrong but somehow still had so many people on his side is what I call one way street. Poi cannot be believed because she is a predator but rape victim blaming, homophobic chats are excused, dismissed or straight up ignored. The current leaks get ignored. Why? Because supposedly he is trying to get his act together since January ( previously it was said that comments made at 20 shouldn't be taken to be the stance when one is 27; and I would have agreed perhaps or taken a nuanced approach if not even at 26/27 one showed no inkling of a change)

I won't lie that there is no hypocrisy in this fandom. An unbalanced reaction. When disgusting false rape charges were brought against Build, the larger fandom didn't deign it important enough to be cause of an uproar. And it should have been since false charges such as these do nothing but cause shock, bring clout and ultimately cheapens the matter when the lie is discovered. I know MA fans didn't make a peep back then but now are somehow making edits and compiling receipts when they previously said they just didn't have the time or wish to keep up with every other shit relating to Build ( if you know you know). But all these cannot be a cause of permanent blindness. Hell I myself have been guilty of not being able to keep one particular stance but even I can see the filth.

Lookism is fucking real. I think this is what has happened with Build Jakapan and the fandom. The brand, the way he behaves, the boyish looks have become a reality than that which is somewhat real. And it has bled into the shipping fandom. All in all BL industry should consider not making an actor the brand of a story, and let the story standalone. I know there will always be an emotional context between an actor and character but damn to this extent?

Kinnporsche was my first official BL. And till now it has been my only one and you know when I felt myself growing fascinated with VP, and felt disturbed because of the moralizing that went on in the fandom, I felt like something was wrong with me as a person. And I told this to someone, a VP shipper who said that if I am trying to mix my ethics with my choice of media, and trying to prune myself of everything my brain likes, which do not neatly fit in with the subjective good, then I will be miserable. When i then ran back and said that I cannot possibly like Vegaspete because of Build Jakapan and the very first scandal brought to light, they called me pretentious and advised me to let the story standalone. They told me that in BL, the actors themselves are mostly in for the money and some of them have such horrific views on the lgbtq that I would run the other way if I ever met them in my life. They advised me against this pedestal of worship. This was such a genuine advise and my god am I glad for it. But how do I apply it in fandom? Do I still read the delicious fic knowing the stance the author has on Build? Do I reblog beautiful vp content knowing that op continues to overlook anything and everything? fandom space somehow brings the whole of it closer to home in a way. Closer to heart.

(Edit: i wrote every other vp shipper is a build apologist and i shouldn't have and it actually is generalizing and helps no one. )

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Blood and sand - Chapter Fourteen

Okay, so this already wasn’t great. Luke didn’t want Parker stuck in this place. Luke didn’t want to be stuck in this place. Of course that left another possibility—one that stung, and made his eyes water. “Could you let Parker go, if you gave him back to me, so he’d go free?”

“No.”

Ah. “Why not?” said Luke, very tiny.

“He is a lever, little human,” said Hastur.

A lever? For what? That made no sense. Luke wiped his eyes.

Written for the @malevolentmadnessmixup. Art by @aktrashpanda.

>>>>READ ON AO3 OR BELOW<<<<

----------

Chapter Fourteen: Hastur

For once, Hastur was visible immediately. Usually, he pretended not to be here, allowing Luke to wander and take in the stained glass before appearing, dramatically, from the dark. Not this time. Hastur sat upon his throne beneath the upside-down rendition of a city that no longer was, waiting.

This was different from other times. Maybe it was the way Hastur sat, his gold robe blinding against his black throne, his many limbs splayed and spread artistically as some kind of regal cape. Maybe it was in the sparking of his crown, the way it seemed to cut into the very air. Maybe it was the way he raised one enormous hand and beckoned Luke closer.

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly, Luke remembered, a quote from some textbook a few years ago.

Well. Hastur hadn’t eaten him yet. Luke approached.

The Dancers stood, dappled and strangely shadowed beneath the blazing stained-glass windows, forming two sharp, golden rows for him to walk between. He swallowed.

Hastur waited.

The last steps cost him. Luke trembled, fighting back all the old feelings of being in trouble, of failing expectations, because that wasn’t the case here, he knew he’d done nothing wrong, he’d gone above and beyond—

“Little human,” said Hastur. “Come closer.”

Oh, boy.

Luke did.

Hastur picked him up.

It wasn’t the first time. It was still startling, to be gripped by something so heavy and strong, like all the muscle in the world compressed into one dark tube. The raw power of this god was still frightening on the same level that wild storms and oceans were, like a train heading right for him; yet Luke chose to believe Hastur would not hurt him. Luke took a breath. “Is everything all right?”

“First,” said Hastur, and healed him.

It was flawless. The bacteria was purged from his system, and the lingering sickness. Instantly, he felt good, clean, relieved, as if his blood had been flushed with cool water. “You can heal?” Luke gasped.

“Yes, little human,” said Hastur (and amused surely meant Luke was not in trouble).

“You’re like me!” Luke said.

Hastur laughed. That awful chuckle, so dark and wicked. “No,” he said. “You are human; all of you can, to some extent, call upon external forces to create magic. Some of you—rare, and usually due to something other than human in your blood—can also call upon your own reserves to make magic, though it is limited. I am a god, little human. To me, different magics are the same as different notes in a scale. I merely sing them, and so I wield power.”

That took a moment to process. “Oh,” Luke said.

“It seems, however, that you have more than one primary gift,” said Hastur, lifting him closer to the mask. “In fact, it could be the primary, and your healing abilities feed from it.”

Luke was lost. “What do you mean?”

“Child. You show a skill for fleshcrafting.”

Luke knew at once this was what he’d done to John, though he’d never heard the term in his life. “Fleshcrafting?”

“Very rare,” Hastur mumbled as if to himself, and the tip of one tentacle brushed Luke’s sweaty hair from his forehead. “I have known humans who could do this, but not often; and I have never, ever seen a feat such as what you did last night.”

Last night? He’d been unconscious that long? “I… I didn’t do much.”

“On the contrary. You not only healed Arthur Lester,” and the disgust as he said that name was palpable, “but you also untangled John—a thing I was unable to do—and provided him a home so he did not return to the Dark World. You did so using the bodies of the dead. None of them were complete; none of them should work together. Yet, you made them do so, and he is whole.” A pause. “As whole as he can be, all things considered.”

Hastur hadn't been able to do that?

It wasn't a power-thing. Luke had a memory—vague—of untangling a ball of yarn for his mother, his tiny fingers able to get at knots adult hands simply could not.

Luke had to ask. He had to. “Is John the piece you’re missing?”

That pleased rumble rose. “Was it that obvious?”

Sarcasm, Luke thought. Ah-ha. “Yes. He speaks with your voice.”

“Do you know, little human,” said Hastur, “that I did not know he was here?”

Luke stared at him. “You knew he was close, though. Was he that well-hidden in Arthur?”

“Oh, not at all,” said Hastur, his many limbs sliding over one another, gently undulating. “I’ve paid very little attention to who fights at my behest of late. It seemed… pointless. They’d all eventually die, so why know their names or faces? I haven’t been watching.”

Hadn’t been watching? Hadn’t been watching? They’d been fighting and dying for him, and he hadn’t been watching?

This was not normal. This sounded like melancholia—depression like grief—and Luke didn’t know how to heal it. “Oh,” he said in a small voice. “So… I found him. Can I have Parker back?”

“Sweet little human. No,” said Hastur. “You have not convinced him to rejoin me.”

“Wouldn’t he… already want to do that?” said Luke.

Instead of answering, Hastur stroked his hair again. “So rare,” he murmured. “I think I will keep you, after all.”

Which could mean whatever arrangement Dennis had with Hastur, or Oscar had with Lilith, and Luke didn’t know what that really meant. “I… I’m not here for a job, sir.”

Hastur laughed darkly. “It would be your life, rather than a mere career.”

Luke wriggled a little. This was… a lot. “I… sir, that’s not why I’m here.”

“And if I gave you your brother in payment?” said Hastur as casually as anything.

Luke went stiff as a board.

He wanted that. He wanted that with everything in his soul. He wanted that so badly that he almost shouted yes right away, and even two months ago, he would have, but…

But.

He had to think. He was no child, no knee-jerk kid who’d just throw himself into something without question. He swallowed. “If you gave me Parker back, could we leave?”

“No.”

Okay, so this already wasn’t great. Luke didn’t want Parker stuck in this place. Luke didn’t want to be stuck in this place. Of course that left another possibility—one that stung, and made his eyes water. “Could you let Parker go, if you gave him back to me, so he’d go free?”

“No.”

Ah. “Why not?” said Luke, very tiny.

“He is a lever, little human,” said Hastur.

A lever? For what? That made no sense. Luke wiped his eyes.

Parker was on offer right now, without having to finish the games. Parker… could be trapped here. Surrounded by horror. Unable to go and help people the way he always had.

Crying was stupid. It wouldn’t help. Luke still couldn’t seem to stop.

Hastur wiped away his tears, waiting while his breath hitched, silent, weirdly hungry for a reply.

Think, Luke bid himself. Think! And it hit him: Parker wouldn’t take this deal. At the very least, Parker always kept his word, and Luke had promised to help Arthur all the way to the end of the Games. Luke wiped his face again. “I have to continue. I have to keep going.”

“You seem to think you have some choice here, little human,” said Hastur, which might have been a threat, but it didn’t feel like one. It felt more like testing the waters. It felt more like Hastur was so happy not to be bored (or depressed, or depressed and bored) that this conversation was tasty to him.

“I gave my word,” said Luke. “Parker wouldn’t abandon his partner, and I won’t, either.”

Hastur went still. “Arthur Lester.” He said the name like it tasted terrible.

“Yes,” said Luke. “He’s kept his word to me.”

“He’s an awful human being,” said Hastur.

“Why?”

“He kept my other half from me!” Hastur growled that, and the room rumbled.

Luke frowned. “But you said John needs to be convinced to rejoin you. That’s not Arthur’s choice. That’s John’s.”

“Don’t you see that you’ve fallen under his influence the same way my other half has?” Hastur warned, growling, and the mass of his limbs twisted and slid faster over and through itself.

This was so far out of Luke’s league. All he could do was stick to his guns, and try to retain honor. “I gave my word,” he said. “This is about me. About… about who I am.”

That had an impact. “And you keep your word,” Hastur finally said.

“Yes, I do.” Luke raised his chin.

Hastur gripped it, holding his face still. “Do you understand what you are choosing?”

Um… “Yes, sir.”

“Only one can win the Games.”

And no one had yet. “I know, sir.”

“You’re throwing away your life.”

No, no, damn it, no. “You can change it. It’s your rules! You could make it different,” said Luke.

A pause. Hastur went entirely still, a billowing ocean frozen as a portrait. “Not anymore.”

Luke stared. “Why not?”

“I… ensured the games would reach completion,” said Hastur slowly. “I ensured it with my own power, and sealed it with my blood. This arena is an extension of myself. Even if I die, the Games will continue, and only one can stand in the end. The winner will then have their wish, even if I am no longer here.”

Luke’s eyes went wider than they ever had. “You…” He looked. “You’re not sick,” he said in a small voice.

“My kind does not die from illness.” Hastur began moving again, very slowly. “I tire, little human. I tire very much.”

Luke's heart ached.

He'd thought the conversation was already too deep and terrible. This… this was like opening a closet and finding a dead body. “Don’t die,” Luke whispered.

“Be mine,” said Hastur. “I will keep you well. I will give to you your brother. You will be happy.”

It was tempting.

But Luke suddenly knew, deep in himself, in the secret, quiet place that would eventually be him grown, that he would not be enough.

He was new. He was weird. Hastur was fascinated for now, but that wouldn’t last. Luke could not preserve him.

He wracked his brain. There had to be another way. This couldn’t be happening.

Hastur waited, silent, brushing Luke’s hair away from his face.

Luke frowned, eyes narrowed, thinking hard. “You said the last one standing.”

“Yes.”

That was it! Luke looked up, and he smiled. “So they don’t have to be dead. Just the only one who’s standing.”

The King in Yellow startled. His whole being sort of went stiff, not quite a jump, but definitely a pause. “Death is implied.”

“You didn’t say dead or alive,” Luke pointed out.

Hastur’s sigh was heavy. “And you are intelligent, too.” He turned his head away, eyes glinting in thought behind his mask.

Luke waited. This was one of those times that interrupting would not help.

“Until this moment, little human, I would have insisted on death for victory,” Hastur said, low. “But what does it matter? You have pleased me. Moreso, you have revealed the presence of one I thought beyond my reach.”

“John,” said Luke.

“Yes. Therefore, here is my suggestion—a compromise, offered from respect.”

Luke swallowed. A god compromising seemed like a pretty big deal. “Yes, sir.”

“I will return you to the Games. If you can convince John to join me, this will all be moot, but in the far more likely scenario that he will refuse, you must win… even if it means no one else is dead,” Hastur rumbled, sounding deeply invested now. “Do so, and I will grant your wish. No further bloodshed be needed. If you are willing to do this, then I will give you your brother, and you will work for me, as intended. Your brother will be free to come and go as he pleases; but you will be mine.”

Wow.

So it wasn’t… the best deal. He’d still have to say goodbye to Parker. His imagined future (in another city, making magic, saving lives together) would never come to pass. But it was a compromise; and Parker would be alive, and free. And Luke had the feeling (possibly because of the way the Dancers shifted, whispering to one another) that compromises were not often made here. “Deal.”

“Good boy.” Hastur offered his enormous hand.

Luke shook it, his arm swallowed to the elbow.

A slight zap tickled his system, some kind of magical something. It wasn’t harmful; it wasn’t a curse. It was some kind of magical binding, and faded after a moment.

“Our deal is complete.” And at long last, Hastur put him down. “Good luck.”

Ominous. “Thank you, sir,” said Luke, and decided to leave before anything got weirder in this strange place, or Hastur changed his mind. He had the very bad feeling that Hastur did that more often than he did much else these days.

[chapter fifteen] [masterpost]

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Marsilio Ficino to Giovanni Cavalcanti, his unique friend/most perfect friend*: greetings

I cannot let your people return to you from the Fighini market without any of our produce, for I think it very wrong that, whilst bringing you other men’s goods, they do not return with your own. So they bear three of our letters: one amends what I dictated hastily to my boy when our brother came, the others are copies of what I wrote long ago to Antonio degli Agli and Piero del Nero. I did not have anything of today to present, so I have given what is external. 

You are a simpleton, Corydon! You send tasteless little fruits to a most discriminating palate. But have confidence; Alexis should savour these things at least a little;**

 [...]

*I have seen both terms used in translation of Ficino’s pet-term for Giovanni. 

**Ficino is quoting from Virgil’s Eclogues (or, Bucolics) where the shepherd boy Corydon is in (unrequired) love with another shepherd boy Alexis, framing himself as Corydon and Giovanni as Alexis. Though that Corydon was a good musician and wins a singing competition in the story is a fun parallel to Marsilio, who was known to be a very good musician himself. Cosimo had Ficino sing to him on his death bed (and read aloud what he had translated of Plato). 

Marsilio Ficino to Giovanni Cavalcanti, his unique friend/most perfect friend: greetings

Because I am now forced to spend long periods in bed, I have been considering a remedy against the tedium of a continuing confinement. The first, indeed the only one who could relieve the tedium threatening me, came to mind; my Cavalcanti, my especial doctor. And so welcome again, my health giver, expeller of my evils, preserver of my goods. 

You, my Giovanni, assuredly make many other things clear to me every day, but primarily this, the saying of Aristotle: nothing is more full of grace in the human condition than the presence of a most excellent friend. I learnt from you the meanings and the truth of this saying long ago, and I learnt the underlying principle. Behold, he who bore be inwardly away from myself, formerly as much by my desire for him as recently through his physical absence, that same one, in return, through a certain mutual disposing of mind and through his mental presence, restores me to myself. 

[...]

Therefore you will receive a letter, perhaps more of necessity than of choice, for, as I have said, it seems that I have been compelled to compose it for the sake of dispelling tedium. But, Oh! I have just transgressed, I do not know how, my Giovanni, but I have transgressed seriously against the divine spirit and authority of Plato. Listen to Plato on high, sharply rebuking me, as he thunders: O Marsilio! what free choice or what necessity do you observe in a lover? A lover’s letter is as much of choice as of necessity. No necessity is more freely chosen than a loving necessity; no free choice is more necessary than the free choice of love. 

[...]

And the lover already experiences the full-grown flame before he perceives the ray and the radiating point. He needs must burn, if he burn by heavenly decree. He needs must burn, for in seeking relief he always feeds the flame with the very drink with which vainly he hopes to quench it. 

[...]

This is totally a very normal thing to write the man you love while sick in bed, Marsilio. 

Marsilio Ficino to Giovanni Cavalcanti, his unique friend/most perfect friend: greetings

Yesterday at Novoli we celebrated the holy day of Saint Cristopher and Saint James. I said 'holy', Giovanni, and I would certainly have added 'feast', if you had been there. Without you nothing whatever is a feast for me. See how dear you are to your Marsilio, for whom, if one may say so, not even heavenly things have any value without you. This is just, for he who has joined Christopher and James in one holy festival, has likewise joined Marsilio and Giovanni in life. And the same spirit or a very similar one guides us both. God has ordained, I believe, that we should live on earth with a single will and similar way of life and in heaven under the same principle and in an equal degree of happiness. 

Farewell, Achates of our voyage and our delight when we reach port.

these men are very straight. 

Marsilio Ficino to Giovanni Cavalcanti, his unique friend/most perfect friend: greetings

The care of my own sick body and that of my father is one burden for me. Your absence is another. Both must be born with equanimity, lest they become more burdensome through impatience. But if you have any humanity, do not add to my double burden yet a third, too great a burden if you do not return my books. It is the loss of time that makes me ask for them so often. No loss is more serious than that. Alas that I ask so boldly for things I do not really want to receive; but for what I do want I dare not ask. 

It is right that I should have the former, while at present it is necessary for me to be without the latter. It is prudent to do what is right and, as far as one can, to make what is necessary voluntary. The first is for you to do, and the second is for me to attempt. 

Farewell, and while you are looking after other people’s affairs for their sake, take care of yourself for your own sake. 

We don’t have a that for this letter, so we don’t know which books it is that Ficino sent him, but given this line: “Alas that I ask so boldly for things I do not really want to receive [his books]; but for what I do want I dare not ask [Giovanni himself]” I choose to believe he had sent along the latest version of his commentary on Plato’s Symposium (known at the time as his Book on Love), which he began at the behest of Giovanni who was trying to lever Marsilio out of a deep depressive episode by dangling Plato in front of him. (Dear readers, it worked. For a time, at least.)

Marsilio Ficino to Giovanni Cavalcanti, his unique friend/most perfect friend: greetings

The hand could not guide the pen were it not itself moved by the soul. Marsilio could not now write to his hero [Giovanni] were he not first so invited by his hero. But one thing that troubles me more than anything else is that you write to me because you promised; and that I attribute to a bargain, not to love. 

I desire letters of love, not of barter; or are you really mine by contract just because I am yours? I wish you to be mine through love. 

Marsilio being totally normal about Giovanni.