imperatorcaesaraugustus
That Most August of Blogs
9K posts
reblogs of paleoart, mtg, leftist politics, and other nonsense with the occasional bit of poetry or thoughts on HotD sprinkled in
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 6 hours ago
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a meme that DEFINITELY needed improving. thank you all
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 21 hours ago
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Honestly, the fact that terry Pratchett has experience around nuclear power makes so much sense once you realize what magic is standing as a metaphor for in the discworld. Like, look at this fucking quote from going postal:
"That's why [magic] was left to wizards, who knew how to handle it safely. Not doing any magic at all was the chief task of wizards—not "not doing magic" because they couldn't do magic, but not doing magic when they could do and didn't. Any ignorant fool can fail to turn someone else into a frog. You have to be clever to refrain from doing it when you knew how easy it was. There were places in the world commemorating those times when wizards hadn't been quite as clever as that, and on many of them the grass would never grow again."
Like... It feels incredibly obvious what he's talking about once you know the context.
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 22 hours ago
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becoming president just to put lumen, decibel, and size restrictions on vehicles.
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 2 days ago
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 2 days ago
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 2 days ago
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I think sometimes people think eugenics is bad but its still true, like thinking that if people with certain traits have children it will change society for better or worse based upon what traits are promoted. I think its important to emphasize that eugenics is not only wrong morally it's also fake and stupid bullshit
Like eugenics was supposed to be based on the idea that "If it works with animals to select only the best ones to breed, why wouldn't it work with humans?"
well it doesn't work with animals, that's the thing. applying the eugenics ideas to domestic breeds of animals hasn't made better animals it's just made animals with more extreme expression of certain traits. turns out that when you decide which traits are the "best" and become obsessed with the genetic purity of the animals that have the "best" traits, you might well end up with some sad suffering creature like a Pug, or the Persian cats with the smashed faces that are in constant pain because their teeth and airways and brains are getting crushed by their skulls, or those meat chickens that grow so fast they can hardly even stand up after a few weeks old, or inbred race horses with tiny feet and fragile toothpick legs
like almost all traits are neither "good" or "bad" they're way more complex than that. a long tail or a long snout or a stubborn, independent personality can be good or bad depending on the situation. Who gets to decide what is a "good" trait or a "bad" trait? It's arbitrary and selecting for traits that are "good" in your opinion will often have both "good" and "bad" outcomes because the "good" and "bad" are part of each other and not separate its just part of being alive
Obviously oversimplifying everything but you get it. we did eugenics with dogs and how did that go? not very well
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 2 days ago
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 2 days ago
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I can’t find it on tumblr and IT CHRISMAS GOD DAMMIT.
MERR CHRISMAS.
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 2 days ago
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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 3 days ago
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like the most politically neutered movie of all time unironically
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 3 days ago
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those LED headlights make me so angry because they just completely obscure my vision and for no reason at allll. not a SINGLE PERSON needs that sort of light coming from their cadillac escalade ESPECIALLY on a pitch dark road like ARE YOU KIDDING? if there’s a turn coming up on a dark road and you’re opposite me with those headlights we’re both dead
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 3 days ago
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Check out our exclusive comics over on tinyview. There’s a bunch and they’re all free to read https://tinyview.com/the-other-end
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 3 days ago
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There is a group of people I play multiplayer mtg with, but as a competent deckbuilder who is not dating any of them I am cast into this role I have dubbed "The vizier". Meaning, I am, by this definition, the clear villain, but must advise players and alert them to the schemes my keen eyes spot across tables to survive.
"You must listen to me closely. I hold not threat to you. I am mearly trying to survive... I may be gaining counters, but he is one card away from completing his combo. You must fear the squirrels my lord, do not be deceived. They plot for your demise"
"Do not listen to his pleas of innocence. He carries with him the means for colorless mana. The stench of the eldrazi. You must end him before he becomes a threat not just for you, but the whole kingdom"
"think carefully with your target of banishment my lord. When have I harmed you? What is a single lifepoint between friends? But there across the board lies a much greater target! I ask you, what use would a man such as him have for double strike?
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 4 days ago
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okay, i'm letting y'all decide what commander deck i build next
based purely on the name i gave the deck, no other information
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imperatorcaesaraugustus · 4 days ago
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My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show
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